Unsubscribe Podcast - 134 - God Tier Trolling In The Military ft. Evan Hafer

Episode Date: December 3, 2023

EVAN HAFER IS AN EPIC TROLL 😂 WATCH THE AFTERSHOW ON PATREON!! https://www.patreon.com/UnsubscribePodcast FOLLOW EVAN: https://twitter.com/EvanHafer https://www.youtube.com/@BlackRifleCoffeePodcast https://www.instagram.com/evanhafer ------------------------------ THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS! MANSCAPED Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with code UNSUB at https://www.manscaped.com SHEATH Go to https://www.sheathunderwear.com and use promo code UNSUBSCRIBE for 20% off your order! ADAM & EVE Go to www.adamandeve.com and use code UNSUB for 50% off + Free shipping + Rush Processing! ------------------------------ BUY US A DRINK! https://cash.app/$unsubscribepodcast https://venmo.com/u/unsubscribepodcast https://paypal.me/UnsubscribePodcast ------------------------------ UNSUB MERCH: https://www.bunkerbranding.com/pages/unsubscribe-podcast JOIN THE PATREON! https://www.patreon.com/UnsubscribePodcast JOIN THE SUBREDDIT https://www.reddit.com/r/UNSUBSCRIBEpodcast/ CHECK OUT https://outofregz.com/ CODE: UNSUB ------------------------------ WHERE TO LISTEN Spotify https://spoti.fi/2Ye8YOU Apple Podcasts https://apple.co/3cbqY4k Amazon https://amzn.to/2YbzQia Google Play https://bit.ly/2YcWmaD Stitcher https://bit.ly/3cbnY8o MORE LINKS! https://linktr.ee/UnsubscribePodCast ------------------------------ FOLLOW THE HOSTS: Eli_Doubletap https://www.instagram.com/eli_doubletap/ https://www.twitch.tv/Eli_Doubletap https://x.com/Eli_Doubletap https://www.youtube.com/c/EliDoubletap Brandon Herrera https://www.youtube.com/@BrandonHerrera https://x.com/TheAKGuy https://www.instagram.com/realbrandonherrera Donut Operator https://www.youtube.com/@DonutOperator https://x.com/DonutOperator https://www.instagram.com/donutoperator The Fat Electrician https://www.youtube.com/@the_fat_electrician https://thefatelectrician.com/ https://www.instagram.com/the_fat_electrician https://www.tiktok.com/@the_fat_electrician ------------------------------ Edited by GVAN https://www.twitch.tv/gvan11b https://www.instagram.com/gvan11b/ https://twitter.com/GVAN_CC unsubscribe pod podcast episode ep unsub funny comedy military army comedian texas podcasts #podcast #comedy #military #gaming #comedypodcast Chapters: 0:00 Welcome To Unsub 4:44 Brandon's A Lion 7:26 Evan Is An Epic Troll 28:02 Gay Meter 38:11 OG BRCC 43:47 The Baghdad Palaces 54:36 Evan's Best Troll 1:00:25 Laughter In The Military 1:08:12 Joe Rogan 1:14:27 Our Favourite YouTubers 1:23:09 VR Is Wild 1:25:50 Motivation With Evan Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Well, it really sucks that Nick couldn't be here because of the accident. Hey, I mean he's healing though. From the picture I saw. That man will sit and talk for 15, 20, 30 minutes. What happened? For a Black Rifle. God Emperor. I always like to just use that to troll those other f***ing dudes.

I don't f***ing care, but it's like when they're around... Those other f***ing dudes. When they're around I'm like, they're like, well I'm the founder. I'm like, nah, nah, you weren't there. Core one. That was a year later, actually. The Thor thing. Did you make the beans?

Just Evan being Evan. King of trolls. Yeah. Well, I don't know. I'm thinking that Thor Ragnarok. Well, Matt Best is the founder. Is he, though? Is he?

I don't know. There we go. Audio's good. JT, he's the one that brewed the first coffee, right? And then he brewed it, made it, showed you how to do it, and then once from there you got motivated by him? Yeah. I think that was the story.

That was roughly the story, but just completely different. That's the version I heard from the New York Times. Evan Hafer. The most reliable news source in America. Hater of coffee. Speaking of which, I did want to ask you, out of all the Democrats you've donated to, who's your favorite?

It's so hard because there's so many. There's so many to choose from. And did the $500 really turn the tides? Yeah, yeah. That's my favorite part. A $500 bet. Yeah, a $500 bet. Hey, Tulsi, hey, you know what?

Your friend runs for president. You have to contribute. But, I mean, who would have known I would have worn that around my neck? To be fair, it's funny now because I'm like, yes, 500 bucks. Kyle? Kyle, yeah.

We got him. Bring him in. We got him. We got him. Hold on. We got him on the phone. Let's go. You ready, Cody? Yeah, yeah. We got him. We got him. Hold on. We got him on the phone. Let's go. You ready, Cody?

Yeah, yeah. Hold this up. You just got to pop it. You just got to pop it. Okay. Ready? Then drink the whole thing. Three, two, one.

Hi, everyone. Welcome to the Unsubscribe Podcast. I'm joined today by Eli DoubleFab, Congressman Herrera, and God Emperor of Black Rifle Coffee Company, Evan Hafer. That's it. That's all I have. That's the only time I'm going to talk this entire podcast. That's what the comment section tells me.

I know that it was the last week's episode. God damn it, dude. Dude, with Luke, Cody came in. He's like, I'm going to start talking more. I'm going to show everyone that this is my fucking podcast. Let's go. Well, Brandon and him started riffing about historical stuff and I didn't know how to contribute to shit.

I didn't either though. We were just the whole time. Like, this is cool. I didn't know this about Abraham Lincoln. And you're just pointing at Luke. You're like, oh, he's like signing to me during the podcast. I love the comment section earlier. Just like, man, I'm so fucking glad.

Cody's finally back on the podcast so he can say nothing. Finally. There was actual comments saying, hey, you're actually talking and everything. Everyone's like, hey. And then we got you first time on the podcast. First time. I've been waiting. I've been waiting for the right

moment and it felt good it felt really good for this for some reason right now it just feels better we were like when will the best time for evan to be on let's ride the way from joe rogan into this one we'll get those views yeah we'll just like that's what it is yeah fuck your stories i don't give a shit about those. My stories are stupid either way. What have you done? Yeah, it's stupid. Dude, welcome, welcome, buddy. Thank you, thank you.

How you been? I'm good. This coffee, by the way, is so bad. Black Rifle. Black Rifle coffee. Because it's been sitting on the counter for how long? Dude, probably two years. Probably two years.

Fuck, dude. It's been open for way too long. I'm going to drink it either way. It's better than nothing, but. This is the only time you got angry. Like, you've been so happy. He took a sip of the coffee and it looked like I shit in his coffee. Because it tastes like that.

It looked like a personal slight. Yeah. Because it's like, we're right down the road. Like, you just got to text and be like, hey, I need more coffee. But no, you just keep that on there. Okay. That's what you have for your guests? No.

That's your introduction? You guys don't really... Have you guys had black rifle coffee? I have an eight-year-old bag. Guys, if you want the best coffee ever... They're drinking it going... I was thinking about this because every time now I see you

that guy that we ran into at the Jake Paul fight where he's like captured us in front of the bathroom for easily what 10 minutes probably where he called you a lion you're like you're like a lion

you're like you don't know about this Eli like no i don't know this entire story so we we we were at the the fight and then we were like okay let's go hang out and talk because it was just kind of boring and so we found ourselves next to the bathroom because i needed to go find a bathroom and we're just like hanging out talking this dude walks up and he's just really enamored very high super enamored where he's like you like a lion man you're mean you're beautiful and to be fair it is beautiful thank you it means a lot but now i just every time i see him like like a lion i never know how to reply to that either no especially with the light right now bro that that hair is you got that rim light going.

You're looking like a lion, brother. You know this is kind of like my area to sit now, so I know you arrange the lighting in such a way. Specifically for that. Eli's lightingtism. Just bounces right off your hair. I know. Now everyone's like, man, that is really good.

God damn. God damn. Are you ever going to go short ever again? Or do you think you're going to keep that thing? I'm cutting it soon. I need to start, as I'm getting older, I need to start ramping it down to where I can have it branded where it's shorter hair is okay,

and then eventually when I go bald, it's not like a freakout. I'm not going to do that bad comb over. Are you going to go bald? I'm terrified of it. Really? I don't care, bud. Yeah. Well, you know, you get your genes from your, No bald? I'm terrified of it. Really? Well, you know, you get your genes from your, I think your androgenic genes from your mother's father, and he was

bald as shit. Oh, man, I'm fucked. I heard that too, but my mother's father was bald as shit, and I could still hold on. It's still there. Yeah, good. How old are you now? 47 next month okay shit yeah i'm old evan's the oldest one here

yeah i'm old congratulations i see you guys it gives me hope i think i you have that idea as a kid like man i hit i hit 32 i'm gonna be bald yeah yours is gonna do you do you got that fucking mexican head of hair bro every time i go get my hair cut i'm like any problems is this appropriate about a hair falling out right now are we good you're asking the barber as if he's a doctor or she's a doctor like hey what do you what do you got going on back there should is anything i should be concerned with maybe some you know thinness or anything it's just like i can't see what's going on back here i don't know yeah so mr evan there is a story we okay evan is probably one of the greatest trolls any of us has met he will troll to troll just to troll i i didn't experience until

moving to utah and i was like oh okay this is how he is 24-7. It's my favorite side of Evan nobody gets to see. Yes, exactly. And then it's to the degree you, like, most people when I troll, I'll take Cody's water for an hour. He will do shit for like an hour. Whoa, whoa, whoa, we're backing up. What the fuck? I don't know.

That's not a troll, Eli. That's just random kleptomania. That's that, Eli. I'm sorry. Oh, I'm upset now. You stole my fucking troll, Eli. That's just random kleptomania. That's that, Eli. I'm sorry. Oh, I'm upset now. You stole my fucking water, bro. Your extent of trolling is, where'd my water go? He's a really nice troll.

Hey, look. He's kind. First they're sour, then they're sweet. Yes. Now, yours was your wife. With the, no. Okay. Reset.

Okay. Reset. Your wife had a garden. Have you heard this? Yes. Can we talk about it? She'll never listen to this. That's what I thought.

She'll never listen to this. Please. Bro code, fight club shit. Come on. Let's rewind a little bit because one of my favorite things to do is troll my wife. I lay in really long, elaborate plans

to troll her that might take a year. Now, I'm setting this one up to last years. This is not just something I'm going to do one season. This is something I'm going to plan on doing for at least a decade. Last year, she planted a garden thing I'm going to do one season. This is something I'm going to plan on doing for at least a decade. So last year she planted garden and I took some of the seeds and I planted pumpkins around the yard and those pumpkins consumed the yard because I don't know if any of you guys ever seen fucking, I mean, a pumpkin patch obviously is huge, but they spread

out and go everywhere. And it was mind blowing to my wife. Cause she's like, I just don't understand what the fuck is going on with these pumpkins and why they're everywhere. Sounds a little bit mundane, but not really because I'm like, I don't know, but next year it's going to get better. Cause then it's going to be who knows what, like tomato plants on the other side of the yard, maybe like a sunflower, more pumpkins. But what I really want to do is get something really exotic, like a tree where she leaves.

Yeah. She plants like an apple tree. What I want to do is have the fresh dirt. So then I replace it with a tree. That's like a year ahead. And then she comes back she's like what the fuck is going on this tree how is it growing so fast i'm like i don't know you're a crazy gardener man like so she's always more expensive year over year when you keep replacing

it with a bigger fucking tree i think for the first year i'll just have to replace it like four solid times where she comes back it's like maybe we'll call it three or four inches, but she comes back to like a four foot tree. I'm like, I don't know. Did you put Miracle Grow or something on it? I'll just pretend like I don't exactly know what's going on. It's a lemon tree. I've been really practicing my trolling specifically around her for years,

which I used to sing this song. It was like, uh, it wasn't a real song. It was like ting, tong, bing, bong, bing. Right. And I would say, fucking sing this song around the house just to get her to say no. And to see where her breaking point was going to be. You would do that. Where would you do this? Everywhere. Doesn't matter. Like around the house. Doesn't matter. Like I would just do it at the store but then the goal was to get my kids to be echoing the same lingo that drove her fucking nuts so then i would be going through the house saying that singing this the kids would be going through saying this and then finally she broke she's like stop like she's like breaking down yelling i'm like ah perfect daughter these are just kind of

a laundry list of different things i think this is what people refer uh refer to when they're talking about um reintegration problems oh yeah yeah i could see that like you know taking the same skills that you used and just using them to weaponize your household. In a fun way. I don't think so. It's fun psychological warfare, dude. In a fun way. Ah, I broke her once. Now to go for number two. We'd walk through the stores.

It was the first I picked it up from you. It was like walking through stores. You'd be with your wife, and then it would just be like, no, I won't sleep with you, honey. Well, we can have a threesome later. Like, in a just aisle. And his wife's like, ah, ah, ah. Well, it's like we were at Whole Foods,

and we're in a very crowded grocery aisle. And I was like, I don't know. I guess I could be open to a three-way. I just don't understand why you think that it's got to be three dudes in you. I don't think that's a three-way. I think that's just you having sex with three dudes or something right and she's like shut the fuck up shut the fuck up i'm like i'm just saying i'm just saying i don't think that you got to count correctly and it's all i'll randomly throw these things out for her i've done it like multiple times when you're in checkout and,

and the person's just kind of ringing people out, like just mindlessly, like, how was your day, sir? I'm like, you know, instead of saying like,

great or whatever, I'm like, Oh, that's great. You know, like, what are you doing this weekend? I'm like,

Oh, you know, we're laying down some tarps. We're going to duct tape everything off. We're going to have big orgy, like 20, 30 people over. Hey,

what are you doing? And my wife's just like, shut the fuck up. You know, like. Don't tell her about the orgy. And they're just, it shakes them out of their reality for one second where they're like, I'm busy. That's, I'm just. Yeah, they don't know how to answer that. I'm super, super busy.

It will be $128.32. Yeah. It's like the plane just autopilot off what the reality is shaken they're like okay fuck i gotta i gotta answer this question outside of my fucking manual okay no i'm not doing that yeah i think that's the best part of a relationship is trolling and having that fun with it you guys don't do that oh i do all the fucking time that's one of my favorite things. Yeah.

Just continuous trolling and then watching the kiddos now act the same way as I do in public. Because they, like, flinging arms is being stupid. And now they do that first. I'm like, now I'm not the embarrassing one. I just get to mimic my kids. Saf's not going to say, stop playing with the kids. So we'll be walking around Walmart. We'll just look at fucking retarded.

It's like, oh, that family has autism. 100%. He got it from his dad. She just got lumped in. What's that stolen valor autism? What's the Netflix show where they all have down syndrome, but they're down for love? Love on the Spectrum. Is that what it is? Is there an autistic one?

Love on the Spectrum is autism. Oh, there's an actual autism one? I knew the Down Syndrome one was. Yeah, dude, it is the weirdest show. If you have not, dude, Love on the Spectrum. Is it not the same one? I don't know. Is it good? Bro, it's people that love trains and they don't care about it. They're like, hi, I love you.

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He's like just the most happy people you will ever meet. Like everyone's so positive. And then when they meet each other, it is like they, the parents are like, yeah, we're super supportive. Cause these are adults.

They, they have like, I would hope so. Tism Tinder or something. That's gotta be an app. Tism Tinder or something. That's gotta be an app. Tism Tinder. We're making it. I know that.

Dude, we're going to be raking in tens of dollars. These people that don't like to socialize or make an app for socializing. It's like Bumble has like the Bumble BFF. Like they've got like different breakdown bits or whatever. You just have one that's specifically for people on the spectrum. Just hit that. It's like Bumble has the Bumble BFF. They've got different breakdown bits or whatever. You just have one that's specifically for people on the spectrum. Just hit that. It's all men.

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stories and we're gonna talk about some of them because they are i have uh i i did this really really really early because these are the things that they just, they entertain me specifically. And I think it really accelerated going through special forces. It sounds like, thank you. Thank you for your service. Did you thank him? Big knife. Oh, lots of ass. Thank you for your service, sir.

As a green beret. As a green beret. Just to throw it out there, Jake Watson's on the couch over there. He didn't thank Evan for his service. Yeah, thanks, Jake. Thanks, Jake. I guess you hate America. No big deal.

He's a shit lawyer. Jake's going to be like, I wasn't there. Yes, you were. No, that's not what the internet thinks. I had this dude, and he's still one of my best friends today. He's a retired, uh, command star major. And he really, I think accelerated my level of fucking humor because he, he, he had, he, he'd show me that you could be a complete and utter jackass and still be a hundred percent

competent. You had to have two, two sides to the coin where you're like, Oh, I can be a fucking lunatic at the same time i can also be in charge you can be competent you can lead men you can do all those things but you also have to have this other side which is really fucking fun and and weird and it makes everything a little bit better especially when you're like in the like just in a suck fest and you have one guy that's just kind of a, like a crazy idiot. Your friend is? It makes everything fun. Can you give him a shout out or?

Yeah, I wish I could, but he's still like doing all kinds of weird shit. But he's like one of, his retirement speech was one of the single funniest things I've ever seen in my life. He was a standup routine. He did a standup routine for his fucking retirement speech. And,

and this is around a crowd of people like generals and Sergeant majors, and they're all laughing hysterically. And he, he and I really hit it off early on, but then, you know, making a long story even longer and somewhat even boring, but it started where I started fucking with guys because they're really serious.

Everybody's so serious all the fucking time. And especially when you're in the military, they're like stoic and they're not trying to laugh and they're not having any fun until you kind of break some ice and you get through to the people that you really kind of connect with. Well, i would be out doing land nav early on trying to do these like selections you're like running through the woods and for time and trying to get to your point well i was fairly decent at it and i would come up to these points first so then i would literally just get naked at the end of the point and guys would be running to the point of like hey man have you seen an appaloosa it's it's somewhere around here it's got a big red handprint on it and so they're running through the woods seeing this fucking naked dude asking

if if he'd seen a horse and they're like what the fuck is going on it's like one of the single funniest things you can do, actually, because you've got a guy that's trying to fucking finish for time. And they are so serious because this is the rest of their career. You're good. You got your point. Now you can fuck with them, right? Hey, man, you fucking dicks wagging around like, hey, you see my Appaloosa?

And I don't know of too many other funny things, but that's pretty fucking funny. This is during selection? Yeah. This is the hardest moment of these dudes' lives. I'm almost there. Just don't give up. One foot in front of the...

Why is there a naked man in front of me? Have you seen my Appaloosa? Because I can tell. And now it's also the hardest moment of their life. Yes. And now they're starting to question their reality and their sanity and all kinds of weird things. They haven't slept in a couple days. Yeah, they haven't slept.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. They're looking at their canteen kind of funny. Yeah, they're like, why is this naked dude in the woods talking about a horse? Hundreds of acres of woods. This is not like, yeah, this isn't like they're off the side of the road. This is like you're thousands of acres of woods and you just magically stumbled upon one naked white in the middle of the woods like combat boots i just like stashed my shit behind a tree i'm like hey man you see my horse no sir and they're not supposed to talk to anybody either right you're not supposed to talk to other candidates you're not supposed to

but it's it's hard not to i'm just saying it's kind of hard not to. And then it went further. It's hard not to talk to naked men. Evan Hafer, 2023. Yeah, 2023. It's hard not to. When you're running through the woods, you're like, what the fuck is this dude talking about?

When I went through Sears School, you have this small group of guys, and you're out trying to survive or whatever. You haven't eaten for several days. You're not sleeping. You're just trying to like go through this survival lane. And, and, um, I went out one day like with one of my buddies and we were trying to get some food and we found this huge blackberry patch. Well, everybody hadn't eaten for two days. So I was filling my pockets with canteen cups and everything with blackberries. And everybody's beyond fucking hungry.

And I stopped my buddy right before we get back into the camp. I'm like, well, yo, stop, stop, stop, stop. Like, let me go in first. Don't say anything. He's like, okay. And everybody's real serious. This is a serious thing right so i take a couple blackberries out of my pocket and i smash them up against my face like i've been stuffing them in my mouth and i come in everybody's around the campfire i was like

fucking dry out there guys we didn't find anything there's no food i haven't found it they're like yeah yeah and they're like yelling at me everyone's super hungry and pissed yeah you're like hold on hold on let me let me do a joke real fast because this is the time that everybody's gonna really want to laugh about starving and me eating all the food and uh and we're in the prison camp so you get back into the prison camp you're all wearing like you know um scrubs basically it's like oh our scrubs you got your boots and you're shuffling around in the gravel and i'd always like go up and start talking to guys and they're like super freaked out because they don't want you're not supposed to be talking anybody like yo have you guys hit that sauna

have you guys gotten in the the cold plunge or whatever because Cause it's like, they're dunking you in, in, in no shit, cold water. And I'm talking about, I'm like, it's a club bed. I'm like, this place is awesome, man. And they're just like, get the fuck away from me, dude. You're going to get me in trouble. You're going to get me beat. You're going to get me slapped. And I'm like, but seriously, this place is pretty rad. Right? Like, think about it. And they're just like, get the fuck away from me, please and I Rise to the occasion when things are so bad I'm at my funniest like when they're just like the fucking worst things you can imagine like no time for a joke funny for

Everyone else is just getting smoked. They're just getting fucking wrecked and I'm like man. This is one of those like, everyone else is just getting smoked. They're just getting fucking wrecked. And I'm like, man, this is fun. I, I, I ripped my pants out during the invasion of Iraq. I had this like huge hole in my groin and I only had one pair of pants. So my team leader was next to me. I would draw a new, new picture, a new face on my balls every day. And then he would, he, we would decide what my balls every day. We would decide

what type of a day it was going to be, whether or not I had a frowny face or a smiley face. They called that the Baghdad Groundhog. Evan's balls come out of his pants, whether you see it shadow or not. Eight more

days of deployment. Eight more days of deployment. Eight more days of deployment, boys. We used to mow your dad's yard naked, wouldn't you, just to fuck with him? Oh, yeah, yeah. My dad's like... He would get home. Like, imagine you drive home, and then your son is doing this.

My trolls against my dad have been some of the most iconic things I've done. Most of them involve nudity so far. Well, yeah, because nudity's shocking. Well, yeah, because nudity's shocking. Like, a frontal male nudity is shocking. Like, they're like, whoa. Ask anyone on the playground. Hence why

I can't fly Delta anymore. Can't take a joke. This motherfucker's not real. He's just like spreading over the fucking first class. Like, Hey, my dad's like this hardcore. He's very hardcore.

John Berger, conservative. Like he's, he's super great guys. Awesome. He's like one of my best friends, but he's also very serious. He's had to learn how to cope with me over the years and uh i would come home from like training or something like that and

i would just be mowing the lawn just buck naked and that's how that's how he would come home he'd be like oh you're home okay here we go what he's not telling you is that he lived in a gated community yeah lots of neighbors lots of you know yeah neighbors do no uh i mean not really yeah i was hoping it was like a cul-de-sac and you are the cul-de-sac i was picturing like a school bus drop off at three like no he lived up on this hill i was i was driving up the hill to go see him one day, and there's this big bull snake stretched out across the road. And I was like, fuck yeah. I was going up to see him. And I had a snow shovel, like a little snow shovel in the back of the Jeep,

and I herded this, it was probably a five-foot bull snake into an igloo cooler. And I go up to him, and he's painting his shop. And I take out this cooler, and was like hey buddy got you a sandwich stopped off with the at the deli and got you a sandwich and he like climbs down off of his ladder it's like you know what you're all right i'll take back 63 of everything negative i've said about you and i I'm like, wait, hold on. Hold on for the ride. He opens it up and he fucking blows up. He's like, oh.

And I was like, you okay? You gonna have a droopy left side? What's going on, buddy? And he's like, you son of a bitch. I can't believe you did that. I thought you were really getting me a sandwich. Well, did you get me a sandwich? I was like, no, I got myself one. I already ate it on the way up here. I got you a bitch. I can't believe you did that. I thought you were really getting me a sandwich. Well, did you get me a sandwich? I was like, no, I got myself one.

I already ate it on the way up here. I got you a snake. That's what I got you. I did actually get him a sandwich. It costs more than the sandwich. You should be thankful. Yeah. You should be real thankful.

Poor it. It's getting fucked right. If this were a gift in India, we'd be betrothed. Dad, we're getting married now. You're mine. You're mine. I'm cultured now, Father. We're going to have a good time.

Now, you did one story. I told them briefly about it, but it was when you picked up, what is it, Command Sergeant Major and General Delta. Oh, God. I totally forget about this. This is one of my favorites. This is, again, this is like the Command Sergeant Major of Delta and the Colonel or one-star.

Yeah, so these were Squadron Commander Sergeant Major, and I forget what squadron it was. So we were out in Kirkuk Regional Air Force Air Base, CRAB is what they called it up in Northern Iraq. And there's that at the time, the CIA and Delta, we were both sharing kind of a, the similar compound out there.

And I went out there and it was super funny because the, the, our, our Delta force liaison was like, Hey man, can you run out and, and grab, he was,

he was doing something. I think he was, might've been watching ISR feed or something. I was like, yeah, man, no problem. I'll run out there and grab those guys. That's super easy. And so we had a Hilux. Well, I had been digging around in this shipping container.

I was cleaning out and doing inventory. Well, I came across, for the life of me, I couldn't figure this out. We had water skis and a life jacket and a bunch of shit in this thing. So I was like, oh, okay. There we go. So as soon as he was like, hey. Reiterate.

The liaison of Delta was like, hey, we got these VIPs coming in. Evan's like, hmm. I'm still stuck on a life jacket and skis in northern iraq yeah yeah yeah like i didn't know either i was like what the fuck is going on so light bulb moment comes on so i throw the water skis in back i zip up this life jacket well i'd gone to the sew shop on base maybe two or three weeks before, and I made these game eaters,

and it was like a rainbow meter that was pegged out, and it just said game eater, and I would put it on everybody's kit. So they'd be wearing it around like their unit patch, like a skull and like a Punisher patch, and then they look down, and there's this freaking rainbow game eater. And I was like, so I put this thing on my life jacket so I put my face, because we cruise around with these

disguise kits with sunglasses and mustaches because we want to look like Iraqis. I put this fake mustache on. The fake, you know, the ha fake mustache. We didn't want to look like those Asian people. the ha fake mustache we didn't want to look like those jet the asian people

come on i i had blown out a pair of jeans like three weeks before which is a totally separate totally separate thing i had these like fucking jeans they had a big rip in them so i just cut them off and made davy dukes out of them so had a high-cut jean shorts with a fucking life preserver, a fake mustache, mirrored sunglasses, water skis in the back of the Hilux with a game eater attached to my life jacket. And I drive out to the airfield, and the dudes are coming out of the plane,

and they're looking at me like, what in the, for the love of God, did they send? I was like, hey man, I'm sent out here to pick you guys up. And they were both looking at me as if I quite literally had a dick growing out of my head. But then as they got closer, they looked at the meter and they're like, what's that saying? Are you gay?

And I was like no it's taking a reading off both you guys spiking out might be those salmon colored shirts so i get them in the truck i drive them back over i'm like you guys gonna hit the fucking lake a little later we're gonna we're gonna be on the speedboat ripping around you know we're gonna have a good time and they're like, is there a lake out here? And I was like, no. Do Delta Force guys not do fucking map recon? Like, what the fuck?

You castled them? So then I get them back. And I take them to this little shed that I'd thrown two cots into. And it was riddled with bullet holes and it just was an open air facility. I was like, this is where you guys live in. This is a hooch setting you guys up really nice. We're over here in the AC units, but that's kind of what we've got right now. And they're like, holy shit, this sucks.

I was like, no, I'm just fucking with you get in the truck let's go but for some reason they didn't want to do anything with me after that they didn't want to do any like any join us but then they had to so i i went to the next briefing wearing the life jacket and in uniform and they actually got a pretty good laugh out of it but they were like what in the fuck is going on with this dude he's like completely lost his mind which isn't like like outside of the definition of where i was like i was like yeah whatever who cares you're going into war like think about that you're landing you're like okay let's see and then you pull up wearing a game eater this guy doesn't take war serious at all i don't i didn't i was wearing a fucking

white hang loose hat that with a pink hand on it during the invasion of iraq i had a 40 millimeter grenade launcher like six grenades and a hang loose hat and and then the summer of Osu! It's a fucking rattle, man! We get to see our Delta boys again. Evan pulls up.

It's just people take it too serious. You gotta turn the volume down on that seriousness and have just a little bit of fun. Just a tad bit of fun and warm. They're just so fucking serious. Sprinkle some fun on that war. Some seasoning.

This might be your last day here. You got to at least have a couple, a couple laughs, right? You would go out as a fucking legend with that. Oh, yeah. I missed it when he pulled up in that gay suit and that meter thing. And I hated him at that moment. I found him funny later. And it is a shame he died. That guy was super funny. I hated him. And moment. I found him funny later and it is a shame he died.

That guy was super funny. I hated him and honestly I wanted that to happen. I am glad that IED exploded. It may be spooky season but you don't want to scare people with your scraggly beard. Today we are brought to you by manscaped.com. Who has taken a step from the ball-a-weeners to bring your face the cleanest shave it has ever seen, brother? So this season, there's no toil or trouble. It's just Manscaped. Manscaped's all-new handyman is the best way to get rid of that stubble. Featuring compact design and skin safe technology.

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really fucking incredible like moments where i've just been able to like really really sell some shit please share with the class. Yeah, please. I'm interested. Are we recording this? No, just real quick. Heather said she can't be comfortable around you because of how much you've trolled her. I take that as a compliment.

A source of pride. The people out there, it is such a different, because people also, when people would come up at BRCC and they'd be like, how do you just talk to Evan like that? I'm like, what? They are so deathly afraid of you. I was like, if you want to win him over, troll him back. Yeah.

No, he'll fire me. But no, he won't. He'll probably laugh. You just have fun back. I mean, he might fire you. Yeah, he might. He'll probably fire you, actually. Probably. And that will be a joke amongst itself yes yes 100 but he'll laugh about it there's some people in the company he's laughing there's some people in the company i've told them multiple

times like hey oh you're still here huh i'm gonna stop by h. It's like, huh? I'll come back after a few days. I'm like, oh, you haven't packed up your office yet, huh? Okay. I'll cruise by Jacob and take care of that. You know, he's an HR guy. They're like, what the fuck? It takes a certain amount of rapport to be able to sell that joke.

I can't do that after somebody's only been there for a week. But it's definitely something that is super funny if it's a joke. A lot of people don't feel that way. And if it's not a joke, it's funnier. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've done that. I've heard about that. Yeah.

I've had a few times where people come in, they sit down, I'm like, today's your last day. They're like, ha, ha, ha. Not joking. Yeah. Hey. Not joking. Yeah. Not joking. You're always the boy

that cried wolf, but you're the wolf. They're literally like turning in their fucking key card with their office in their hand like, oh, Evan. Oh, that funny guy. He's going to run out any moment now and stop me before I get in my car. Any moment.

He's going to call me on this drive-by. Three weeks. He'll call me any time. Six months later. That was a joke. That was a joke. We're back on you. Why would you do that?

God, I wish. I'm in financial ruin. Most of that stuff was easier when, I mean we you can't do that now because that's that's considered you know workplace harassment or something i don't know like a fancy turn that you know lawyers come up with but early on like it was i mean you guys can imagine because it was like me matt jared and like two other guys it was like a former mma fighter and you know a few other guys like my other buddy edwin parnell who's another sf guy so it's just like a team room just a full-blown team room and it was fucking wild that was a small office yeah yeah

you remember that right the ironwood the ironwood office? The Ironwood office where we had a couple different offices before we moved into the place in Salt Lake. And Clint Romachet came down. We filmed a video. You remember that? That was the OG one. Yeah, OG. We filmed a bunch of skits there.

And you remember that Glock skit that we filmed that we never? Oh, my God. It was so crazy. We were like, we can never put this out. We pulled that one. We were like, whoa. OK, so crazy we're like we can never we hold that one we're like oh okay so og black rifle yeah yeah oh this one oh my god i don't even know we yeah og black rifle couldn't post it because it was so crazy we're like this can't does it still exist somewhere yeah it's fucking funny because it's a gun now it's a gun waiting in line to go to the movies, and it's a Glock, and he's in the line with this white chick,

and he's talking about it. What are they talking about? Because someone's like, oh, it's because I'm a Glock. It's because I'm a Glock, is it? It's a Glock in line. Dude. It's a Glock. is it? You know? It's a Glock at my house. Dude. It shoots the, or the girlfriend stuff.

It's like, don't you say, or God, the bad actress. I remember her. Yeah, she's so bad. She's so bad. Fuck, I can't remember the comedy beat for it. Because it was a treating the Glock as like a minority. It was just getting belittled. Oh, man, dude. It was, we watched it and we were like, whoa.

It shot somebody at the end yeah because at the end it indies and blows somebody's head off we can't show this it was like the girlfriend and it goes and it runs off because we did a green screen stick so it was in it was in scene like talking and moving and dude it was epic yeah it was it was really, really funny. Yeah. When we did Conservative Comes Out, the original concept that we had was, you guys remember that video because it's like one of my favorites, but the original one was,

it was you come out to your parents as an ATF agent, and a guy pulls in, and it's a whole other, it's the same set up. Now I see why there was a punting dog joke. Yeah. It's like, dad, I have something to tell you.

And then the reveal is like, I'm an ATF agent and I also drive electric cars. And it just like kind of like devolves into this. And it was super funny because the dad starts smashing all the family photos in the fucking house. And it's like, just tear this flag out of my house. I guess it doesn't fucking matter, does it? And he's like losing his shit. And then he like rips open the curtains

and it's just a post-nuclear apocalypse. Like everything is fucking blowing up. And then it shifted into, oh, this is actually more funny if we did this way that one turned out so good those old skits we used to go man i always i forgot about a lot of this that was a good it was a good era that was when facebook was crushing on views too that was an average upload of i think it was like 18 million views was our average that's also when the algorithms weren't trying to go for ad revenue. So you could do two to three minutes skit comedy and that would do really well.

Well, and you could do things that were, you didn't really worry about them turning the switches off, right? It's like, now it is the way you have to communicate to people that you're, you know, your customers. So it's like, you know, your customers. So it's like, oh man, if they turn the switches off, like what the fuck are we going to do? We could be like us and not care.

Yeah. That works really well for us. Yeah, every day. Fucking guns held to my head. No stress at all. No stress at all. Whatsoever. Just a gun right here.

While you think about that, like while I make this joke, joke am I gonna have a career tomorrow? Yeah, fuck it Yeah, you Cody's videos are like it's just blurred out quacking now. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you can't watch his boy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, I wonder sometimes how much that helps. I don't know man. I blur everything I don't put gunshots in it's quacking and they still hate restrict my videos sometimes. Even though it's blurred, you could tell that was the moment of death. It was fucking blurred. What do you mean you could see the moment of death? I will say the quacking has pissed me off when you first started doing it, but now it's so endearing.

I love it now. They call it the quacks of justice. I need to make a shirt that says the quacks of justice. That would be a good one. What if you did this shirt with the duck on it? Oh, shit. I'd like God to do all the work. A rubber duck,

but it's like quacking, but it goes bang. A quack bang? A quack bang. A quack bang out. I could collab with Nick on that. That's a good shirt. Well, it really sucks that Nick couldn't be here

because of the that. Yeah. That's a good shirt. Well, it really sucks that Nick couldn't be here because of the accident. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, he's healing, though. Is he? Maybe. Kind of. From the picture I saw.

Yeah. What happened? Is there any cool gear from raiding the palaces? My favorite story is in seeing those pictures of, like, some of the dope shit people got the golden dragons and shit. Oh, I had I have pictures of my phone from those. I had I had all kinds of really, really interesting experiences. You know, I was in Baghdad when we first got into Baghdad. It was like one of my favorite, favorite stories is like,

I've come into this fifth group, had a compound and what became the, the right down where, um, is this mine or yours or who's it? Um, I think that was me. It was my headphones.

So we, we, there, there's a ghost in the podcast. I was like, no shit. It came from over there. That's why my headphones over there we there there's a ghost in the podcast house no shit it came from over there that's my headphones over there i was like it's like we we get into baghdad and it became the um where the the africa is a coalition that where we essentially massed in downtown baghdad right across from fourth of july bridge and we had a fifth group compound there and um that one of the guys with

they had one full fucking room full of like carpets just nothing but carpets they'd taken out of all the different palaces and they'd like stuffed them into this one giant warehouse and it was just nothing but these like silk rugs everywhere and like one of the guys was like sitting there smoking a cigarette and he has hand around like hand around you like this around this golden bust it's like solid gold bust of saddam he's like smoking a cigarette golden bust man it's pretty sick anyway i drove a formula one car yesterday that was sick as fuck and you're like what he's yeah, it's right over there. You want to drive it? I was like, it's really hard to drive. I was grinding the gears.

It's like Uday and Kuse had like Formula One cars and Ferraris and all this shit. And so everybody was like, it was on a cannonball run. Like we were fucking rolling into Baghdad and we were racing to try to get to Baghdad and we're hitting palace after palace after palace. And we were just like, fucking, what are we going to find? Like trying to find, like blow the fucking hinges off the safes and find

any and everything that we could fucking pull out of there and so i mean i've got this lonely planet guide this is no shit i have a lonely planet guide for iraq and i'm like there's a palace on the euphrates let's go in. Bro, it was because our maps were shit. Except it's the Bible. And we're like, we're going to Babylon. There's a palace there. Because we were just looking for all the different palaces. We had rough estimates as to some of

where they were and some grid coordinates. 2,000 years ago, Jesus is born in a manger. 2,000 years later, you're driving an F1 car over the site of where this was. And we step into this palace, the first one that we hit, and there's just people falling out of this.

Like, as soon as we're, because we had to drive up this windy road to the top of this palace to overlook the Euphrates, and you're going up to this palace, and you're like, holy shit, dude. like we we hit the fucking mother load like we are going in and we're gonna have like you know we're gonna load up our trailers full of gold and all kinds of crazy shit but all these people are just fleeing out of this thing they're all carrying like giant vases and carpets and everything. And it was crazy because it was complete chaos.

And, uh, so we get into the house or the palace and we clear it. So we go through and we clear the entire thing. And by the way, you're also like trying to find shit because you're like, this is fun. What the fuck are we going to pull off this target? And, uh, there was literally nothing in it other than like a few rugs and some other bullshit in it. But we're like, what's underneath it? There has to be like, you know, what's hidden in here. But it was wild, man. When you got out onto the deck and it overlooked the Euphrates right above Babylon, where the recreated ruins of Babylon were, were in this palace.

And then we went, once we cleared it, we went back through and tried to like pull any and all things that we could. So I, you didn't find anything like it had just been like completely ripped by, you know, all the looters before that.

But we did that multiple times trying to find shit. And some guys, they got really lucky because they were hitting stuff. And one of my buddies was telling me they were like Broco torching this fucking safe out. And they're thinking like, oh my God, man, we're going to get, they open it up and there's like a Nike shoe in the middle of the floor.

But it was wild, man. Like, like I'm telling you, Ferraris and Formula One cars and like any and everything you can think of from like Uday and Kuse and it's just the Husseins in general, they consolidated all the wealth. When we went to the airport, which was the, the Royal Palace complex in the airport, which is Saddam International Airport. We were the first, one was the Royal Palace Complex and the airport, which is Saddam International Airport,

we were one of the first ODAs there. I actually cleared what was called the Saddam International Airport before I turned into... Imagine flying from Reagan International Airport to Saddam International Airport. Yeah, yeah. Now, Cheney did that a few times, I think. Give me that.

He kept that, too. We had fucking done that. In the the business we call this foreshadowing and they had he had like tigers and zebras like the sons had basically a mini zoo but we also knew like they were throwing fucking bodies and shit

to the lions and then we were at one of the palaces and there's this big pond and it was beautiful i mean this place is like a palatial no shit like palaces this isn't drug lord money this is like middle eastern oil money this is a trillion dollars so to put it into perspective what it can buy you is a lot of shit and we're like oh hey let's have fresh fish and we're building like uh c4 fucking bombs to throw in the pond so we could blow up the carp and get them to the surface so we could fucking have like carp dinner and things like that it's like dod funded fucking louisiana bro i'm telling you

like toss a stick of dynamite in that river let's see what we get boss get it get it the single greatest amount of fun that i've had in my life do you ever fish now and just have thoughts back? You're like, nah. No. It'd be easier with C4 at Saddam's place. I wish. Just clack it. I just want to clack. When you're racing your way into a capital after popping the top off a country,

it's fucking wild, man. That was the most Evan Hafer fucking sentence I could have imagined. Evan Hafer. sentence I could have imagined. Evan Hafer. When you're Russian. Let's not take into consideration any of the ethics or any of the things involved, but when you see the American fucking war machine. Never mind, that was the most.

Let's just delete some of this and then just consider like dude that an invasion is the fucking most impressive act of like military power you can participate in that is like so impressive it also terrifies you because if you're on the side the winning side which obviously we were but when you see the the full might of the American military force, it is fucking like, it is like seeing the power of God that it is, it is truly witnessing it. When you see MLR, MLRS and tanks and everything working together as you're all coordinating your effort, rolling fucking North, you, you, I mean, not you, but you can squash the third largest military in the world in a matter of fucking days. And it's wild. And it was truly like the

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go to adamandeve.com and use code unsub to save 50 off and get rush processing the other day we're at jt's and evan's like so uh when are you gonna do that long game he's like what he's like you know do a long troll on heather yeah like oh god i haven't thought about it yet there's so many options the good thing about the long game is you can plan and you're not under a time restraint. It's not based on the incident or

something. You don't have to take advantage of the time. You can say, the time that I have is a year. So then you can play this really long game to where you can just lay the seeds as time unfolds, but you're not like setting your calendar. You're just kind of like, I want to make sure that I'm going to cast a layer of doubt to maybe drive this person insane over the course of 18 to 24 months. Right. That's kind of nice. It's a, it's a gift that

keeps on giving. It's called baggage. She's going to bring it to the next relationship. It's like, that's the point forever for everyone. The thing that would bother me more than anything is if I tried that with a girl and then like, let's say 12 months into a 24 month plan, we break up. Right. that would haunt me forever. I have unfinished business on the earth. Well, that's why you would stay with her until the end. Of course. No matter what.

No matter what. Ride or die, you've got to finish it. It's okay you suck that guy's dick. You're my ride or die. I need you for 12 more months. I need you for 12 more months. I've got to finish. I have to finish. I'm not done. I'm not done. I need you for 12 more months. It turns into the accountant like, I've got to finish. I have to finish.

I'm not done. I'm not done. I'm not done. Why are you still with me? He's like, you'll find out later. I'm working on something. Say it like that.

I'm working on something. Just so happy about it. So what are your big trolls? What is your most glorious troll in your active duty or CIA crazy person? Man, that's a good one. I had Tony Cowden. You guys maybe know him or not. He's an SF guy.

I worked with him out in Mosul. He was on the podcast. He was there when I lost, I lost this bat and to, I had donate and I had to wear an Obama shirt in DC when we went bar hopping when we got back. So there, I have a picture of like me and my buddy sitting there and he's laughing at

me. He took the photo at me cause they were fucking laughing at me and they thought it was hilarious by the way it was hilarious i don't fucking care what people think because it was hilarious and then i'm like all right well i have to offset the donation i better donate to the other side but i was like that's a lot of money maybe i'll just like donate 400 so if i would have just like been thinking ahead like oh well maybe 500 cancel it out because in fucking 12 years this might be an issue no i guess i wasn't thinking that far ahead but in mosul i had this shirt and i had the whole outfit but then i added a drop leg holster to it so i had a drop leg holster i had two radios so i had like two radios drop leg holster i had some

grenades a helmet so i'd wear this helmet. I had all this shit. I had a can of Copenhagen, like rolled into the sleeve and there's a, there's a new, a new guy showing up. He's a, he's, he's a former SF guy. He'd just gone through CAG selection and done a bunch of other stuff. And he's flying in. It's the only guy coming off the plane. I pull up to the tarmac and I sit there because I'm like, I can't wait for this fucking guy

to get off this plane and see this glorious bastard standing here. The plane is taxiing and the pilot is pulling in towards me. And as he turns the plane, he moves his head and his mouth like, his mouth falls open. That's how fucking stupid I looked. It was amazing.

Yeah. The pilot's like, what the fuck? And so Marshall was his name. He walks up, he's like, oh, uh, you my ride? I'm like, I'm your ride. And then I started talking to him like so are you like a navy seal or something or what do you guys do because those seals are hot they're like super hot their abs are hot and he's like no i'm a green beret i'm like oh cool are they like seals or what do they do you know and uh i'm like but you gotta

wear your helmet safety first so i give him this helmet and i give him ipro so he's putting on fucking helmet and ipro and i tell him i i tell him that i'm the chief of the base so i tell him i'm in charge of this whole thing so he doesn't know he's never worked for the agency before in his life. He has no fucking clue who I am other than like this. Do you choose up with a trap like a holster, two radios, a hand grenade to Hillary for president. Sure.

With a life jacket at home and I pro one and talking in a crazy list. Like, so you like a Navy SEAL. I mean, I see those guys and I'm putting those when I'm talking to my, everybody's always out in the yard working out. Like I run these workouts every day, you know, for two hours. Most of the time I'm not working out. I'm just like writing down numbers, making sure guys form is good. That's the way I'm talking to him. And he's like, what the fuck is going on?

And I continue to have, I mean, we're on the base. He has to wear his helmet. So I keep fucking telling him he has to keep his helmet on everywhere we go. I take him to the base. I give him a tour. And everybody else on base knows what's going on too. So they're read in on this whole thing. They're like, hey, did you meet Chief? Oh, he's an interesting guy, right? He's going to want to talk to you a lot.

Alone. Alone. So I go through the whole thing. He's wearing his fucking helmet the entire time with iPro, by the way, on base. And I'm talking to him about all this fucking crazy shit. Which if you don't know this, when you're like head pro helmet, it is the last thing you want to wear. The last thing.

Period overseas. Especially when you're inside the wire. You're like, oh my fucking God, I hate this guy. head pro helmet it is the last thing you want to wear the last thing period overseas especially when you're inside the wire you're like oh my fucking god i hate this guy even more that i have to wear these two pieces of equipment this is fucking miserable miserable and it was just some stupid i mean sometimes you would go to different bases they have these rules and you'd hate bureaucrats and making rules so i like go through this entire thing i walk him through the entire base bring him back to the team room and i was like hey man you really think that i'm the fucking chief of base he turns to me and he's like what he does not compute i like, I'm just fucking with you. Like, there's no fucking way I'm the chief of base.

One, I'm like 30 years old. Two, like, what in the fuck? Do you really? He's like, I don't know. Well, I don't fucking know. And he got so mad. He like throws his fucking gear in the locker, doesn't talk to me for two weeks.

And we're on the same team. He won't even fucking talk to me. Won't talk to me. Won't look at me. It's just like, fuck that guy. Fuck that guy. So it took me like two weeks.

Then finally I was like, are you still mad about that? He's like, I'm never going to be not mad about that. So serious. Got you bro. Yeah. Gotcha.

I fucking nailed that dude. Like pinned. So that was good because it was like multiple hours was a solid three hour play where I really, really had to sell some shit. And it was fucking, it was, it was hilarious because he got so mad. Well, a lot of those times when you're in those situations is I've told the story

before. It's like yelling at the general. We had general boozer. He was like a one or two star and I would just yell at him. Like the first time he got in the striker with me, he got up in the hatch. I was like, ah, you're fucking old. What the fuck? And he was like, what? He was like, what?

I was like, hi, what was it like fighting with Abraham Lincoln, sir? And after that, homeboy would not say a goddamn thing to me. He gave me a coin. When he was walking, he had no head cap. He was walking. We were on a cob. He was walking to the chow hall. And I'm like walking through, and I see him walking. We were on a cob. He was walking to the chow hall.

And I'm like walking through, and I see him walking without his headgear on. I'm like, sir, put your fucking headgear on. He was like, he almost went at it. And he's like, Quavis, do fucking push-ups. What the fuck are you yelling at me for? I'm like, right, sir. I just learned that from a young age. I was like, oh, I just fuck with these people.

They'll usually not fuck with me back. This is great. Or I'll just have to do Tim Push-ups, but they'll laugh at me and do everything else. I was like, okay, I'm going to write that note down, close that, save that for later. You find out who's cool. You find out who your people are that you can communicate with

without a level of seriousness that is just not appropriate for what you're doing. without like a level of seriousness that is just not appropriate for what you're doing it's like there's a time to be serious trust me i can be as serious as they i mean there's we've seen maybe a couple times where you're like yeah i gotta be serious most 99 of the time like i try to be a jackass because it's more fun like i try it's like it's fucking hilarious it's like okay, we're moving up on a breach. Like, you know, set explosives. I got

all the way up until the breach goes off to be fucking funny. I still got like 10 more seconds. I still got like 10 more seconds, man. I got to get a couple more jokes in. That C4 dick yeah exactly yeah yeah you get it like oh look at this it's a bunny set the explosives throw it in there like as you know like there's there's there's plenty of times you can be a complete and utter idiot and have a lot of fun

like i i mean and it provides a lot of levity to the situation. I had to go scoop. When dudes clock off in front of gates, somebody has to go pick it up. And when you have a small base. Smells like barbecue. When you have a small base, it is what it is. It's fucking glad bags.

And if you're lucky, you get a shovel. But it's like, put on your fucking gloves and go, you know, find them, go fucking pick them up. Those pieces fly far. They do. Yeah. Yeah. Like they do. Like a lot of people don't realize that we went, it was on a roof.

We have, we found one on a four story roof. One guy clacked off and we were upstairs looking around. It's like, found it. Hey, look at this i love how you're just like straight up like the boom box from say anything yeah yeah yeah i you know my buddy he was like uh doing something i can't remember it was like had this dude's leg and it was like this guy's still kicking your ass and uh jesus when i like go back for a I'm like, if you've not experienced this, we do sound kind of fucked up. I don't know.

You guys tell me. It is what it is. We're a bad judge. It's not. Yeah. I was just going to say that right off the bat. Like people, people think this is like some kind of like, you know, movie and they, they get to like shoot everything and do all this really cool stuff and then they

don't have to like clean up the fucking mess well okay man yeah you there's still a lot of cleanup that has to take place which fucking sucks it's like i always wanted one i just wanted one sector where like when you deploy and you just did war they made the soldiers collect their brass after because that was my biggest fear going over there. It's like, do we have to pick up brass over there? Because they teach you, you have to pick up all brass. It's part of the contract. Lake City needs to reload all this shit.

So, you know. Clean up all the ammo. Crispy just got blown up. The ceasefire. Like, hold on, guys. Ceasefire, everybody. Clean up your brass. Crispy just got blown up.

They're making him clean his fucking brass. On fire? Yeah. Get down here right now. The faster you get this done, soldier, the faster we get you to the hospital. Burnt hands. That wouldn't surprise me.

It's just attached to his skin. It's like gum. Oh, it's like a tape strip? Yeah. Just using his arm as a tape strip. Crisp Crispy we love you. Thank you for your service Sincerely, yeah Brandon's now an honorary vet thanks to that episode. You guys fucking suck. Dude, I dude all the means that people- Eli decided to

Make my life very difficult and make me very uncomfortable. So we did a Veterans Day episode. And the entire time, he's trying to get a frame on camera of him pinning his purple heart to me. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Get that shit the fuck away from me. No, no, no. He's like, oh, yeah. So when were you deployed? What did you?

Don't you even fucking start with me right now? So we were thanking him for his service, all this. And then after Reddit has a heyday, YouTube's thanking him for his right now. So we were thanking him for his service, all this. And then after Reddit has a heyday, YouTube's thanking him for his service now. Reddit is- On my comments section. No way.

And then Reddit is posting him with a medal of honor. Like, they're doing good Photoshop jobs. Oh my God, that's awesome.

They're putting purple hearts on it. I have people in my comments section making up my fucking combat history and all my deployments every day. I'm like,

guys, you- One episode of Brandon's Malibu. We gotta do this. making up my fucking combat history and all my deployments every day. I'm like, guys, you... One episode of Brandon's Malibu. We gotta do this. This is so good. There are very few things that you can be certain of in life. But you can always be sure the sun will rise each morning.

You can bet your bottom dollar that you'll always need air to breathe and water to drink. And, of course, you can rest assured that with Public Mobile's 5G subscription phone plans, you'll pay the same thing every month. With all of the mysteries that life has to offer, a few certainties can really go a long way. Subscribe today for the peace of mind you've been searching for.

Public Mobile. Different is calling. That's too Evan. E2, this is so good I was like yeah I didn't think reddit would take it to the level I was like oh god they're having a heyday with this one as soon as I showed up that day I'm like man

I know why I'm here I'm part of the bit I stood up walked across pulled my purple heart out of it's box I was like this is for you Brandon Brandon get to get it. Get it. I'm like.

Like, I'm not wearing that thing. We're talking about Clint Romache and how he just carries his and his. Dude. Well, he gave it to Rich and Rich wore it around for like two hours. Did you hear that story? Yeah. Am I not supposed to say it? No, we told it off.

Oh, my God. It's awesome. Dude, so hilarious. Because like seeing him walk around with an moh like rich being rich with a rich oh my god that guy is a fucking national treasure like i don't know of too many people that are more funny than that guy that's one that hands down one of the funniest dudes you will ever meet. I don't know a single other person that I've ever met that has that sort of natural, funny energy.

And just the amount of energy he has without drugs. No. Never met one. And now he tore into the... He might be on drugs, though. I don't know. Well, he gets drug tested. Oh, well.

So he says. So he says. Lame. Cody, is that true? I've seen Bad Lieutenant. I know what they fucking do He's a lieutenant now detective yeah, yeah lieutenant detective. Yeah, he ended up getting promoted. Did you see the picture? He's been doing his squats. Oh with this. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah rich rich is all caked up in it, man He's really super tight pants, and he's swearing in to his new position.

All the comments. It's him getting sworn in like this. It should be like, congratulations. Everyone's like, that ass. Damn, boys. Cake emojis all over the place. God damn, officer dump truck, you can knee on my neck anytime. Yeah. Jesus Christ. So you were just on Joe Rogan. How was that experience?

You're actually friends. That was a hell of a segment. That's what I do. From that joke to Joe Rogan. Well, they had a couple jokes like that at the comedy mothership. It was fucking wild. You're just over there trying to chase that monetization icon back. No, no, a couple jokes like that at the comedy mothership. It was fucking wild. You're just over there trying to chase that monetization icon back.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah, that's the third time. Third time I've done it. We'll see. I mean, we'll see how it goes. If I have a lot of coffee, I can be like, I go full blackout mode. I was saying a lot of weird shit about like how stupid communism is and like how it's a failed ideology and you just need to like,

like eliminate it from the globe. Like, you know, why, why do you even try? It's just, it should be illegal. So I was just like a coffee later, you know, talking about like political ideologies. Yeah, one coffee later. One coffee later. We were talking about, I think we started the entire thing talking about how there's like, we were talking about this morning.

I started the whole thing talking about like I read this statistic where 16% of the American population is below an 85 IQ, which doesn't make them, excludes them from military service because they don't have a job. And considering how big the military is,

there's not a job for them to do. So when you think about like 40 plus million people, like, okay, well, that's a lot of people. How does that impact? 40 million people is that's 15% of the total populace in the United States. That's what he was saying with that. That's I talked about,

I heard Jordan Peterson talk about that where he's just like, yeah, like that is the minimum IQ for you to be able to do anything in the military without it being a detriment to the military more so than you're serving. Yeah. And they're terrifying. Yeah. And that's a good chunk of the population. You're so dumb. They won't let you get shot.

Or clean the toilet. And they don't consider it ethical. They can't put you in the military because if you have below a certain IQ, you can't go to war. So they're being nice to the special kids. Yeah. Okay.

And I think that's how we kicked it off when we were talking for quite a while. And it was fun. Like, I like Joe. And this is not like, you know, like I've been friends with him now for a few years. He's really, really fun to hang out with. And he's just a fucking cool guy. I know everybody says that.

Everybody's like, oh, you know. But he is. Like, we hunt together. And we mainly talk about hunting. And, you know but he is like we we hunt together and we mainly talk about hunting and you know we talk a lot of archery we talk a lot about whatever but yeah he's he's a lot of fun like just period just like you would think he is he's a fucking comedian he is funny but he's also like hard working he has that drive behind him which i think we all gravitate towards like yeah that's why i love this group of people. It is the drive that is behind them.

It's not making excuses like, I want to grow. I want to continue to create. I want to continue to grow. I want to make businesses. I want to do whatever. And you're like, fuck, it's motivating. Yes, it's so fucking motivating to be around. That's what I like about Joe is that he's,

like people try to cancel him for the people he's got on or like the positions he takes. He's not the guy with the answers, but he's a really fucking good interviewer. And he knows what questions to ask, and he's just genuinely curious. He just wants to learn more shit. And he'll say that out front. It's like, hey, I'm not an expert in this. I am a comedian that runs a podcast that likes fighting.

I'm the fear factor guy. Yeah, and he's like, don't take my word for science. That's what these guys are for. I'm just interviewing, which if you shit on somebody for interviewing random people, that's on you, not on Joe Rogan. No. There's so many different shows,

and there's so many different people that have been on that. Just listening, I mean, three hours for podcast is like that's a lot either way but there's such a wide variety of people that show up there it's hard not to be entertained by who he's got on the show and if he can unpack certain you know ideas or whatever it might be you get a little bit more insight into some of these people and what they're saying. Like, I think it's, I think, you know, podcasters in general are fucking amazing for that because you can get information out, you can talk to a wide variety of people, you get different perspectives and, you know, not to be too serious, but it's fucking awesome because mainstream media is dog shit. Like it's, it's dog shit. It's formatted, it's fucking awesome because mainstream media is dog shit like it's it's dog

shit it's formatted it's owned by advertisers you can't say anything like it's it's just so bad and thank god we let me thank god we got something like like these things like podcasts are one of the only forms of consuming media we have left in 2023 that's actually like long form, not ADD, not clipped up into eight seconds. Like it's actual long form content that you can actually just put your entire mental focus into or, you know, put on in the background, whatever, but it's long, long form content. So you can actually have discussions that, you know, are meaningful and not just drive by intellectualism or whatever.

Which I like. And we were talking about that with Cody. What was the weightlifter guy you were? Oh, Sam Zulik. Sam Zulik. It's this new age of entertainment where you see these YouTubers like Sam are popping off gain $2 million in a single year. And it's long form, slow digestible content.

That's not fast cuts, no thumbnails, nothing crazy. But now these dudes are taking the fuck off. So we're seeing if it's this new new wave where people want this style of content. I mean, it's interesting. That's why I love it. I'm like, it's like working now. It's like Charlie, too, man. Voice critical.

He doesn't have cuts. That man will sit and talk. I'm like, life is working now. It's like Charlie too, man. Voice critical. He doesn't have cuts. That man will sit and talk for 15, 20, 30 minutes. No cuts and still interesting as fuck. Talk like this the entire time. I've never noticed that about himself. He might have one cut or two cuts

every couple videos, but there are some times he'll sit there for 20 minutes and just talk. I don't know how I never noticed that. You never? Yeah, Charlie doesn't cut, bro. To be fair,

I don't watch a lot of his content, but every once in a while I'll click on something he's done. I never noticed that. Who do you guys watch outside of... You watch his channel, you watch his channel. God, you guys are so hot. Sam Sulek and Brandon.

You both just pointed at each other. When you guys watch it, you both do it like that. I'm like, uh-huh. I can't wait for the marriage episode. According to the unsubreddit and the podcast, I guess we are getting married. I watch his stuff. I watch Corridor Digital, Meat Canyon.

Meat Canyon's second channel is Papa Me. Dude, Papa Me. Have you not watched Papa Me? I literally just pulled it up when you guys were talking about it earlier. His editor, Nick. Oh, you know his editor? Yeah.

Hook us up. I need it. Yeah. Seriously, the way they do retention beats and comedy beats and everything is really like hats off to him. It's very well done. It's amazing, dude. The thumbnails are.

I know like everything. And it's, ah, man, I just guess I'm like, oh, but it motivates you for watching what works and understanding why it works i'm like okay i gotta we gotta do the same thing because his channel now he's doing what half a mil to a mil out per upload easy on his yeah what he was telling me too is um hunter mikan he loves doing the second channel and that's why you see him putting like four videos a week out on there because like when he does main channel stuff, he gets like 5 million views,

10 million views, whatever. Once a month. It's so much fucking work. Whereas his second channel, he just gets to, he's an organically funny person and he gets to just be himself on camera. And it,

that that's so conducive to just like a creative mind. It's awesome. And he uses his voices in the pop of meat too. Yeah. And then him and, um, Wendigoon starting their podcast, which I'm super stoked for. Wendigoon's starting two podcasts. Yeah, Wendigoon's got one with Charlie now too,

speaking of Charlie. Yeah. Yeah, it's Wendigoon and Charlie, and then, yeah, Papa Meat and Wendigoon have one coming out. We need to get him back on the podcast. Oh, he definitely. He talked to me last night. He said he would love to come down and be on this podcast again. So Papa Meat

coming soon. Oh, both? Oh, yeah. We'll get Wendigo and Papa Meat. All of them. All of them want to come down. Do you know Wendigo? Meat Canyon's coming down? Yeah. Oh, well, there you go. Everyone's coming. Teaser. Lots to come. I love it. Dude, Wendigo, and if you've never watched Wendigo, and he is one of the most

well-spoken, again, a dude that blew up in two years. No cuts. dude used an iphone for his first million subscribers he has two of which two of which he made about me yeah call me b-tier brandon i still love that joke five hour long videos five hour long and they get like in three days dude uh blood meridian he did a book review that was three hours or five hours yeah you told me about blood meridian actually we're at the shop yeah yeah yeah yeah he did a review on blood meridian it wasn't really a review it was like a summary like he was going through he would read sections of the book and it was like kind of like a quarter of the audiobook essentially but just like he would summarize things and talk about the

deeper meanings and whatnot it was so fucking good three million views in like two days and it's five hours five fucking hours he's a great storyteller like he's just a very very talented storyteller yeah when you have he's gonna be massively uncomfortable we're saying all this about him by the way dude hey dude him and hunters i did you watch they're like trying to compliment each other. Yeah. And so I have that gun that comes out like. That team, they have it going on. I'm so excited for what they come up with. You have to check out Wendigoon. Yeah, I mean, I'll listen to this podcast or watch it.

I don't know, every other week. No, no. Most of the time it's like if you guys are on it, then I'll listen to it or I'll watch it. It's about to be a lot more. I didn't know fat electrician, like literally until he was on unsub. And then I got turned on to his channel.

It's like, that's fucking great channel. Like it's amazing. That's another guy. I don't miss it. I don't miss his video. He's awesome. Like his videos are great.

Like the guys clearly articulate, he understands the information he's putting out. Like it's like the guy's clearly articulate he understands the information he's putting out like it's fucking awesome like and he makes it fun he makes it so much fun because as he said he's like historians miss that that human element to the story so he adds in he finds that he uncovers and he adds that to the story and you get to watch like his who's the crazy vet from McNasty that was a great lighting down like that you good yeah we could rename this part of the podcast unsub talks about itself great we are we do great guess we're going to have. I was actually going to ask you though.

Let's say you go on sub or you go on Rogan or you go on something like that. Do you go back and watch yourself on it? No. I despise watching myself and most anything other than skits. I watch the skits because it's funny. Not them. I hate watching myself too

man i have to sometimes like just to review the video the first time i'll watch it one time be like all right video's good to go push it out right but i won't go back and i'm like a masochist because i'll go back and watch it every time and i don't enjoy it like i am so i watch it to be like critical of myself like it's a game player yeah yeah yeah but it's i have to go back and watch it i'll watch it thinking about how other people that i know are going to watch it and how they would react to it i kind of weird i've i've tried i've tried to go back because there are things that i don't like about my speech where you know i'll use that was perfect you know i use that i don't know too many times so it's a it's a pause

in the conversation instead of saying um you say you know or something like that I really wish you closed the door of the bathroom before he just you know take a piss but he's the fucking the man silencer yeah but I should probably I should probably watch more just so I can tighten whatever I'm saying up, just fucking tighten it up because most of the time I just babble. We're all good at that. Yeah. Thank God for jump cuts. Yeah.

Yeah. Thank God for G-Van. What a cock on that guy, by the way. Real nice man. Real nice man. All the way around. Very round. Yeah. Just makes him sound fat. Real nice man. All the way around. Very round. Just makes him sound fat.

Fat cock. The fat is the penis. Okay, there we go. I can't watch any of my own stuff. I've never watched a single episode of Unsubscribe. Not a single one. I haven't either. I'll be completely honest. I've never watched an Unsubscribe before. I watch it as soon as they come out.

I don't know. For me, the feedback is helpful. I don't remember the majority of unsubscribes we've done. That's true. Well, for one reason or the other. You're still sober until tomorrow. I've got tomorrow, guys. Today is the 29th, so I have one more

day of sobriety. It's been 25 days now, I think. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, look how jacked you got those videos came out. If you want to know Cody's weakness, it's alcohol. I like, God damn. Six Tito's bottles over there. Prepping up.

I just like Cody's kryptonite. He's like, give me the kryptonite. Oh, there we go. There we go. He takes kryptonite. He's like, I made 12 videos and millions of dollars this month. Time to get drunk again. Time to go back to two videos a month.

That's not going to have any lasting implications with the comment section of your videos. Cody's not uplading. Get out of the gutter. Say hi to Eli. And it's just him again. She just goes right back. I'm like, oh, no. It's like the GTA wasted on both of us.

Like, just, yeah, we get canceled immediately. Yeah, I mean, our editor leaks all our shit. I said something on Twitter yesterday. The canceling hit me a little bit. Wait, what happened? You know, the new Fallout live action is coming out. Oh, I didn't see that. I haven't watched the trailer.

Was the trailer good or bad? I don't know. I just saw that one screenshot. So Fallout's a video game. Okay, cool. I got it. So it's a video game that Okay, cool. I got it. So it's a video game that takes place... It's basically about modern-day New Mexico.

That got nuked. No, it's just modern-day New Mexico, poverty-ridden, just fucking hellhole, yeah. So where there's mutants, just replace it, or Mexicans replace it with mutants, and now you have the story from Fallout. Okay, yeah, yeah. Just a lot of gun violence and double wides in the middle of the desert. And that's Fallout. Sounds fun.

Oh, I hate that's what it is. Yeah. Evan, do we ever tell you about Swagger Souls coming out here and shooting at the range with us? No. You know Swagger? Hmm. He has a radio voice and he wears like a knight's helmet all the time in his videos. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I know exactly who you're talking about. Yeah, he's got the really great voice. He came out here and he picked out a bunch of guns from Brandon's AK place, and we took them to the range that you guys had. He was operating all of them perfectly. Some of the stuff that Brandon didn't even know how to do. Yeah, really obscure shit. Stuff that when I bought it, I didn't quite know how to extend the stock on,

like the Calico or whatever. Just shit that doesn't, it's not normal gun stuff. Right. Flawlessly. Yeah, it turns out he australia with the rest of his gaming crew that he runs around with during the height of covid when they wouldn't let you out of the house and you had to have like a ticket and check in and you got an hour a day outside no one else could be around like all that crazy shit so he was playing vr and there were a couple of vr games with guns in them and he learned how to operate every single fucking firearm

through VR video games. And I guess they're spot on, because he came over and was just killing it, man. I was impressed. He's like, yeah, I've shot a gun a couple times. I'm like, are you fucking kidding me? It was impressive. Even the boys last week,

they've shot maybe one time before, and they cleared the Texas tree. Yeah. The Texas Stark cleared it the first time. Really? These guys have only... With your race gun though. Yeah, but that's still, yes, it's the race gun. But they still, first time

without missing, they're like, and we're like... So where did they get... Their main content is VR. VR. Literal VR training is all they're doing. But that makes sense. The military's been taking notes on this shit for so long. They're like, oh, Jesus Christ, what?

We're just getting that quick information pieces in there. Dude, that shit's crazy. It's funny when they turned around, though, because one of them missed one, but literally six shots cleared a five star. He's just like, oh, damn, I missed one. And he turned around, we're just like, yeah, no, that's good.

And then they're like this with the gun. They're just handing it off because then they don't know what to do. And you're like, oh, this is fucking great. You're safe. You're terrifyingly accurate with never shooting a firearm before. VR works. Now I get to clear it. This is great. And then no fear shooting

any of the guns either. And now all you VR fucks who've never shot a gun before, all right, calm down. You're not John Wick. Or are you? Or are you? Take the officer service weapon. That's your message? Make sure you take

that thing. You pay taxes, it's yours. Let's be honest. If you play VR, you don't pay taxes it's yours let's be honest if you play vr you don't pay taxes so evan let's hear some moto shit from you to motivate moto yeah i want a motivational evan it's one of my favorite things guys you one of my favorite sayings i learned from this man was we don't we you don't work for us we work for you at the end of the day everything we do isn't for our own benefit it is to benefit you guys it is to motivate you guys it is to make you laugh smile because you provide us with these opportunities to do these amazing

things that's why i like until it's time to joke about firing you yeah yeah boom yeah until and then you don't know 50 50 what was it like getting like because you are like i i respect the shit out of you of what you've done in that space because you come from green beret thank you for your service special forces man to the ci doing all that stuff and then um and now during that cia not ci he wasn't a rat yeah it was three letter three three letter is he ah uh no i mean i left that world like 10 years ago now so but during that fairly out yeah we were like hey now i'm gonna learn coffee during and that's where that's your that's your autism power you're like I like coffee. It's just whatever I'm into. It doesn't really matter. I'm into coffee.

I've been into coffee since 1997, which is quite a while. I started roasting it. Autistic that you know the fucking day. I've been roasting it since 2006-ish, and it was a hobby. I would come home, and I would concentrate on the R's, which is like R&R is a term that we used to use all the time, but it was like reading, running, roasting. Like those are the things that I would do.

And my wife actually had a coffee shop in Denver. She was a coffee person. She's also, she's an ultra runner. When we connected, it was like, well, I'm going to build a coffee shop. When did you, when did you meet her along the way? Uh, 2012. So 2012, we met, she, she was at this cool coffee shop in Denver. And what game do you spit? Like zero. I mean, I don't have a lot like you like coffee. I like coffee. Well, cool. We should go coffee sometime.

She's like, we're in a coffee shop, dumbass. Like, you want coffee? I just picture you being like, I want to have sex with you. Yeah. You titties nice. We're in a coffee shop, but I see you're without children. You look like you're single. What's that mean?

What? Espresso, please. It smells like you're single. What's that mean? What? Espresso, please. It smells like you're ovulating. You look like you might be so horny you're blind. Is that true? If that's the case. 20% of the time, it works every time. But it's everything that I get into.

I just sink 100% of whatever I have into it because it's, it's, I can't help myself. I have to like, I say this thing, it's like the more you peel the onion, the more it makes you cry at times because the more that you get into the details of things, the more interesting it becomes. And coffee is very much like that. And I don't want to go too far into coffee because we'll lose the entire audience because they're going to be like, fuck off. Like I'm done, done with this conversation. But it's the same thing. Like being in commando or trying

to be a commando or doing those things, like you have to be an artisan of the craft and it's anything that you do. Like, I think everybody here, you guys are creators. I'm creative. Everybody's creative. Well, how do you become the best at what you're doing? I have no interest in being average. Like that's not, it's not a thing that I aspire to because I'm, I'm average, but I'm trying to run the whole machine in the red, right? It's, um, you know, maybe above average IQ with, you know, five, 760 pounds. Like I got to run the machine in the red all the time. And I don't have the ability to run it at 75 or 50% because if I do, that means I'm 75 or 50%, which isn't good enough. It drives me fucking bananas.

And so for me, it's, it's, it's actually not to get too fucking deep, but there's eudaimonia. Eudaimonia is this term that actually it was phrased from Greek mythology and Greek philosophy more appropriately. And if you follow the footsteps from the roots of Western philosophy into what we're doing now, when you're talking about your purpose, your mission, and defining who you are with virtue and courage, and when you start to take really heavy pieces of wisdom out of that. And when I look at wisdom, justice, and we're balancing those two things with

the ability to plug in courage on top of that, you've got this very specific playbook that has been templated over thousands of years. And it's been pressure tested over thousands of people that have been more intelligent than me, that have been born into different and worse circumstances, and they've been able to accomplish much more. So I try to go to this point, which is eudaimonia is striving to accomplish very difficult things for the action of fulfillment and happiness through accomplishing very difficult things. So finding happiness and fulfillment

through accomplishing things that you don't necessarily think that you can do, but then building confidence in the action. And that's one of the things I've just done my entire adult life is, hey, I'm going to go try. If I fail, what's the worst? We're all headed to the same place. Not to address mortality, but we're all headed to the same place. The finish line for us is we're all going to be equalized at the end. So we've got to get everything we can out of the short amount of time that we're here.

And if we don't, we're doing a disservice to the opportunity that's been given to us. We've been born into this incredible country, not to go on a political rant, but like, man, this is truly the land of opportunity. We can drive ourselves to be what we want to be and if we don't take advantage of that opportunity we're wasting our lives so for me i'm ringing the sponge that's all i'm doing i'm like i'm gonna get every fucking ounce out of this thing so tldr

you're gonna die one day, do rad shit. Yes. Yeah, it's like... Nothing separates you from... Everyone is a human at the end of the day. Genghis Khan, he grew... Dude was a stepkid, nothing. Just like a fucking poor-ass person.

A lot of people, the greats throughout history have been nothing that rose to that because... Rose to the ranks and became one of the world's greatest. Yeah, exactly. And now we are. Everyone has a dream. Everyone has a dream. Greatness is in your finger.

He wanted to cure global climate change. So he killed a majority of the populace to do that. But as you're saying, it's everyone has that chance to do something great or to actually try in their expertise or something that they they they gravitate towards just a lot of people don't do that because they're uncomfortable second people get uncomfortable you will see people quit uncomfortability is jim is waking up each day and being like, hey, I remember when I moved to Utah, when we all moved, we literally, everyone moved to Utah the first time,

and you had taken out credit debt just to get Black Rifle going at that time. It didn't start off, if it wasn't handed, like $2 billion, can you go? It's a logger. Yeah. It's a logger. If I didn't build it,

there's nobody writing me a check but and that's the thing it was that knowing the circumstance understanding the risks and then being motivated enough to pull through those trials and tribulations like hey i'm gonna make this happen no matter what same for cody say for brandon everyone's done that something that i've i've also like notices and i think this is just the way that men are wired, is it's not necessarily like accomplishing your goal is not what drives you. It's not what gets you out of bed in the morning. It's not what gives you a dopamine, serotonin, whatever. It's being on the journey and knowing that you are succeeding at the goal

and not having succeeded. Because once you hit that goal,'re just you know lost yeah so you find the next goal it's the next mission yeah it's you you will you'll never be happy after you hit a goal you're happy when you're doing a good job at getting to that goal that chase that's that's what i find like the most invigorating it's like fuck this has to come together and i have to continue because i'm not gonna let it fail i'll hit my speed bumps i'll hit my failures but i'll make sure that goal hits its market dude that hit me hard like as soon as i got to the point where i considered

myself successful as far as you know i did the thing i wanted to do since i was like 15 16 i'm a big gun tuber youtuber i'm making all all this money. I'm doing all this stuff, whatever. Like, dude, I felt the most empty. I didn't know where to go. Congress. Well, that's, you know, let's go.

This is what we do. Unfortunately, it's like goal, achievement, unlocked. Congress. Well, that's something like I do actually genuinely care about.

Like, I think that's something that is important that needs to be done. It's, that does prove the point of like, dude, you, I think that's something that is important that needs to be done. It's, it, that does prove the point of like, dude, you, you have to always have that next thing.

You need to have a bigger thing, a thing that you think is a goal worth accomplishing that you are on your way toward. Like if you don't have that, like, who are you? I truly believe that. What if, what if your dad wanted to give you a loan,

but he's like, this motherfucker gave me a snake it's true it's very true hey son open this cooler i got a loan for you hey there's some cash in there evan why don't you check that out yeah yeah bitch oh dad i chose a non-venomous snake this was like a bull snake i i think it's so important i think it's you know facing the days with courage and understanding that you know your your immortality which is one of the things i've i've i've truly i guess i've been been blessed with is i'm thinking about your death every day for, you know, I mean, I still do quite a bit, but like every day and sometimes, you know, minute to minute, sometimes second to second at times,

it's really puts your life into perspective as to what matters. How do you triage your time? How do you prioritize against what you're doing? What do you want out of life? The hard part about transitioning, not the way that we're, but transitioning out of the military, not in the new fallout, follow me on Twitter. It's like your purpose, like how you, how you define your next mission, your purpose, you know, from the, the essence of, of your being. I think a lot of people struggle with that. And I think a lot of people, if they would just get over their, their fear, you know, address life with more, with more courage and perseverance and say, failure is great because through failure, you're going to fucking grind yourself into moon dust. You're going to eliminate ego and say,

well, eventually if I keep trying, I will succeed. Whatever it is, it doesn't fucking matter what I'm talking about. It's like, hey, I'm going to keep moving. I'm going to keep trying. I love building skills that take like decades because it takes like ounces equal pounds. You keep chipping away and you keep chipping away and you're never done.

You're never done until like the lights go out. And to be fair, I don't know exactly what, you know, I don't think anybody really can tell you exactly what's going to happen. So it's like just trying to get everything I can out of the time that we are, but the time that we're here. And I mean, I fucking love it. Like, like this is, this is a rad experience from my, from, from my point of view. And I'm just not willing to say, I'm going to waste it, like waste a second of it. I'll find myself at times where I'm like in the last 10 years or so where you, you get down or you get

fucking depressed. Everybody does, right? They go through peaks and valleys of their life. And 99% of the time, what gets me out and the things that work for me are like, not to be morbid, but it's like, I know a ton of dudes that would fucking replace me like this. And they're, they aren't here. Like some of those guys aren't here right now. So one of the things that I do every night and every morning that I'm home is like, my kids get every hug that I can put into my family, right? Every hug I can put back into my kids. Like I tell them, I love them. I tell them that I care about them. I read them stories. I spend every second of my time with them because there's that, there's this person that represents some of my best friends that have been either killed in combat or taken their own lives afterwards. And they're not here

to do that. And I guarantee if they were here to do that today, they would fucking do it. And it keeps me honest. It keeps me driven and focused. It keeps me plugged in the right place. And it also keeps me from getting depressed because I'm like, dude, I can't. I got to keep my head in the game. Got to keep my head in the game.

I got to get positive. I got to plug in. And what I've been telling people is like, it's positive fuel. I'm not here to be a motivational speech or give you a motivational speech, but it's like, you got people that are motivational speech, but it's like you got people that are gonna broker in toxic fuel

and you got people that are gonna broker in positive fuel. I'm only trying to plug in positive fuel. And so that's kind of my drive. It's like positive fuel, keep working, find things that you love. And I've also said like, it's not good enough for you just to be passionate about something

because yeah, you can be passionate about it, but you have to be so driven and passionate about something that when the weight of the world is ground you into what you think is emotional fucking moon dust, you can grab whatever it is that you love out of that bag and plug it in for power to dig you back out of that hole. And if you don't have it, then you need to go on a search to find it. I think I'm going to go home and work out. On that statement, we're just going to fucking end it and move to the after show. That was fucking beautifully said.

We're going to, if you guys want to check out the after show, come, come check it out. Cody, come sign us out. All right, everyone. Come check it out. Cody, come sign us out. All right, everyone. You're doing great. I'm reflecting on fucking all this information. I know. I'm like, man. I'm like, oh, my God.

I can't even make a dick joke. I can. I was going to scream cum again, but not now. If you guys, for some reason, respect us, just look at how we're reacting to that information. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

Well, everyone, that was the Unsubscribe podcast. We were joined today by Eli Doublefap, God Emperor of BRCC Evan Hafer, and Brandon Herrera. And our boy, Cody. Donut Operator. Where can we find you, Mr. Evan? Joe Rogan.

At evanhafer.com or whatever. No, at Evan Hafer. That's basically where you can find me. That's kind of what I do. And your podcast? Yeah, my podcast is Black Ruffle Coffee Podcast. I kind of run that. I talk to a lot of vets.

Mostly right now what I'm talking about is a lot of philosophy because I think it can help a lot of people that are a little bit lost so I've been talking a lot about purpose and mission and how do we really focus this the subculture of bets around redefining what we do yeah it's really good stories too because you're talking to some of the coolest individuals possible. I got to talk to the coolest individuals and then us. Yeah. And then fucking shit bags. Like just complete shit. Awesome guys. Go check us out on the next one.