Unsubscribe Podcast - 153 - Twitter War & Live Show Chaos ft. The Fat Electrician

Episode Date: April 8, 2024

THE BOYS ARE BACK IN TOWN!! The gang reunites to recap the Texas live shows and road trip antics! WATCH THE AFTERSHOW ON PATREON! https://www.patreon.com/UnsubscribePodcast Grab the limited edition Autism Awareness Month shirts and support Autism charities! https://www.bunkerbranding.com/pages/unsubscribe-podcast FREE TO USE MEDIA: (please tag us!) https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1uppmQHMGf8uI2OuOatp932e3S2VGy0PE ------------------------------ THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS! RAYCON Go to https://BUYRAYCON.com/unsub TODAY to get 20% off your Raycon order, plus free shipping! GHOSTBED Try Ghostbed today and save 50% using code UNSUBSCRIBE! https://ghostbed.com MANSCAPED Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with code UNSUB at https://manscaped.com ------------------------------ BUY US A DRINK! https://cash.app/$unsubscribepodcast https://venmo.com/u/unsubscribepodcast https://paypal.me/UnsubscribePodcast ------------------------------ UNSUB MERCH: https://www.bunkerbranding.com/pages/unsubscribe-podcast COMMUNITY SUBREDDIT: https://www.reddit.com/r/UNSUBSCRIBEpodcast/ CHECK OUT: https://outofregz.com/ CODE: UNSUB ------------------------------ WHERE TO LISTEN Spotify https://spoti.fi/2Ye8YOU Apple Podcasts https://apple.co/3cbqY4k Amazon https://amzn.to/2YbzQia Google Play https://bit.ly/2YcWmaD Stitcher https://bit.ly/3cbnY8o MORE LINKS! https://linktr.ee/UnsubscribePodCast ------------------------------ FOLLOW THE HOSTS: Eli_Doubletap https://www.instagram.com/eli_doubletap/ https://www.twitch.tv/Eli_Doubletap https://x.com/Eli_Doubletap https://www.youtube.com/c/EliDoubletap Brandon Herrera https://www.youtube.com/@BrandonHerrera https://x.com/TheAKGuy https://www.instagram.com/realbrandonherrera Donut Operator https://www.youtube.com/@DonutOperator https://x.com/DonutOperator https://www.instagram.com/donutoperator The Fat Electrician https://www.youtube.com/@the_fat_electrician https://thefatelectrician.com/ https://www.instagram.com/the_fat_electrician https://www.tiktok.com/@the_fat_electrician ------------------------------ Edited by GVAN https://www.twitch.tv/gvan11b https://www.instagram.com/gvan11b/ https://twitter.com/GVAN_CC unsubscribe pod podcast episode ep unsub funny comedy military army comedian texas podcasts #podcast #comedy #funnypodcast #military Chapters: 0:00 A Message From Eli 1:36 Welcome To Unsub 2:39 Live Show Recap 29:22 AD 30:34 Range Day 36:14 Eli’s Dad 39:50 Future Live Shows 42:07 AD 43:12 Range Day Guests 48:46 Bullying Nic To Move To Texas 53:21 Texas Road Trip Shenanigans 58:57 AD 1:00:00 Grandpa Gaming 1:06:53 Tax Write Offs 1:02:10 Microtech Guy 1:19:19 Military Stories With Eli 1:26:23 The Problem With Journalism Today 1:28:05 NEW TONY JUST DROPPED Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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No! No! I want to do a GoFundMe for whoever is running Toadie's Twitter. Well, I'm autistic, sir. For a solid two months, we're very questionable. I'm dying. Hey, everyone. First off, I just got to say thank you from the bottom of all our hearts for the amazing reception right now on the merch. This shirt, full metal spectrum.

The amount of support we have received for Autism Awareness Month has been amazing. Thank you so much. This is near and dear to all of our hearts. And thankfully it's near and dear to all of you you guys are just crushing it i can't say thank you enough we have the full metal spectrum we have the spectrum gunship and we have the tism toucher up right now and all the proceeds all the proceeds are going to two different non-profits the first one is the national. The first one is the National Autism Association. Second one is the Organization of Autism Research. Both of these nonprofits are amazing.

They're not only doing research in the subject of autism, but they're helping the families that might need some support or cover down or even therapy and getting those kiddos or adults the best life they can live. I can't wait to see how big this gets. We have already crushed our goal and I want to see,

I want to set a freaking standard and show how amazing this community is. So from the bottom of all our hearts, thank you all so much. I am at a loss of words. So go buy a t-shirt. It all goes, literally all of it goes

towards an amazing cause and we are just super blessed to have you all around. Are you going to do this every time now? Yeah. Oh, really? It's my new thing for my second podcast of the day. Oh, yeah.

I mean, you started with the first podcast. Yeah, I did that with the first one, too. It was the first podcast? Yeah, we already did one today. Oh, no shit. Yeah, I'm going hard. Good luck, buddy. Oh, my God.

Let's rock and crush in life. It'll be a good one. Ready? Oh, three, two, wait. Three, two, one. My boy. Hi, everyone. Welcome to the Unsubscribe podcast. I'm joined today by...

I said it right that time. I know. We were going to... I was like, he nailed it. Not a billion people watching right now. Fucking boy nailed it. We'll talk about that. Cody said a thing. Eli Double Tap, fat electrician, Brandon Herrera.

And a boy Cody Operator. Cody Operator. Holy shit. It's been a rough week, guys. I didn't say that for four shows or something. Yeah, we were just like when we open it up we'll do this this this obviously we'll do the

live shows that we did which thank you guys all for coming out that was a really good time y'all fucking rock thank you if you came to say it in the comments because we had a fucking blast we're going to start out with you know cracking the can and everything and then right after have Cody open us up with the tip the line it's the

line it's saying the thing say hi everyone hi yeah that didn't fucking happen apparently we kept like hold up hold up like cody do you have something to say hi hi hi something you're like i said it no we're all just like no dude you sit down you'd be like okay i got it today we're introducing it and the last one was my favorite because it was at the bar two hours before this show we're talking to cody say cody you gotta get this one right buddy he's like i know i know it's fucking there's a lot of people he's like i got it i got it he's like, I got it. I got it. He's like, okay. Hi, everyone. Hi, everyone. He sits down. Welcome to the unsubscribed podcast. We were all just like, God damn it.

But Cody, we stopped the whole show. That was so wild, though. I've never done a live audience thing before, and we sold out four fucking shows. That was fun. That was crazy. It was a good time that was wild it went from it was a lot like skydiving you hate it at first and then you're like oh this is pretty fucking dope scary but still pretty fucking dope it took until the second show where i'm like

relaxed in the middle i'm like okay i can i can do these i think i like doing this and by dallas i'm like man i'm sad this is over it was a good time there's a lot of it was a lot of great people too i think that i like it probably do that crowd interaction is my favorite part y'all are just weaponized autism listen to you scream no matter what was being said bro you want to know what my favorite part was which part how many people came up afterwards because we had we did the vip thing afterwards the meet and greet was like 150 people every show four sold out shows they came up and they're like hey dude i just didn't waste myself because i love you guys and you helped me there

was a lot of amazing amount of that that's cool yeah dude everyone is like breaking down a little bit which is yeah just being super supportive of those people because they were they were being heartfelt it's like hey man i just want each one of us to be like hey thank you so much for what you guys are doing and that's why we do it at the end of the day it's like for moments like that and i want a big shout out to king trout for yelling at that yeah he had to doubt a couple kids yeah i forgot about that yeah we had one dude come up and uh he would a very heartfelt moment he's like hey my dad died last year like i'm really thankful for you guys and there were like two teenagers in the back laughing at him because he like because that dude shed a tear a little bit and trout was like shut the

fuck up shut the fuck up yeah leave the fuck up. Or leave. Yeah. Do you want to enjoy VIP from the parking lot? Because that's what's about to happen. And that's like being respectful. Bros, if any of us can cry, y'all can cry. It's quite all right. It's opening up feelings. Ain't gay.

No, never mind. Fuck that. You push it down. You be a man about it. And you die of 56 or a heart attack it's like the bill burr bit and you swallow a bullet like every normal veteran just deep down let it consume your heart for congress crop crop his face over his body when he says that no no no don't do that god no but that's i mean that's something, that, that speaks to what we've said since day one on the podcast is like,

look, this is the way that real dudes talk. And especially when it comes to like the veteran community and stuff like that, like they, they need shit like this. Cause like that sort of camaraderie that like feeling like you're hanging out with one of the boys and cracking the fucked up jokes and doing the

stuff like that. That's a social faux pas today. Like that's what really helps these people. Yeah. And then it's also when there are an emotional response or anything you'd be supportive of that you show them it's like hey you're being heard you've been listened to and we love you especially that's what this community's for yeah everyone's nailing it across the board here at this table and i mean fucking just if i can if i can jerk these dudes off real quick again everyone covered down so fucking hard you guys like we were all going into it is very like doubtful because it is it is chestnut checkers it is very stressful and we could like it's doing other things but like

getting out of that comfort zone which we discussed which is a million people behind a camera, too easy. 500 people in front of, then you're like, oh, hey, what's up, guys? Woo, that's a lot of you motherfuckers. Hi, everyone. Because I can bomb in front of a camera, feel nothing about it, and then my editor can clean it up. You bomb in front of a live audience, you're fucked, dude. They get one shot. But like, I don't know. It's really hard to bomb in front of the audience that only came there for you. Yeah. It's not like open mic night where we

have to like win them over. Everybody there already knows all the inside jokes. I think it just took us a couple of shows to figure that out. And everyone just, and then like each one just covered down like Cody's like, that is your biggest fear. Like, this fucking. If you're not a public speaker, you're very open about that. You're like, ha. Yeah, exactly. For a show, Cody's like, you nervous?

I was like, I mean, a little bit. How are you? He's like, I'm dying. And then Rich ran out there in a kilt and mooned the entire audience to open up so that kind of broke the ice just kind of show his ass to everyone showing his ass is nothing new that happened everyone just covered down i was like oh my boys are so proud fucking brandon just killed it up there fucking nick crushing it with stories. Everyone had their jokes. No one was stepping on each other.

Episode four. That fourth one. That was perfection. Now we will be doing in fall two to three more on bigger venues. We know who we're bringing. We know how to do the sets now. We learned really quickly. Then we had a fucking blast.

That was good too. That was quick. That last one i had to stop it early yeah we could have went longer on that one that was having fun i kind of wanted to almost like yeah that's what i was saying toward the end it's like man i'm like i i'm not ready to be done with this yet man i know the first the first show we were all kind of feeling it some more than others but yeah i don't know having meat canyon out there with the funnest shit ever who papa meat when he got that buzz go like he was like he was getting the flow and then the buzz hit and then he's like you want to hear my dad we didn't tell them god they don't know about, yeah, we didn't record many of the shows. Did we record any?

No, no. That's an exclusive live content. Papa Meat came out there and he played a voicemail by his dad. It was a voice memo. He was there in person. That was a voice memo. He said his dad's so funny. He said that his dad's kind of an alcoholic,

but he's so funny that whenever he interacts with him, he records everything. And he has this video of his dad telling a story and it's fucking hysterical. This is like post his mom just getting out of surgery or meets mom. They're divorced. Dad's visiting in the hospital or at the home while she's recovering. And then the dad is just talking about like the titties, 28 year old. Talk about like getting flashed by some chick somewhere. I don't know.

Like his dad's voice is just pure redneck. The most redneck voice you can imagine. Yeah. His dad's voice sounds like him doing a voice impression like he would do in one of his tunes. But just playing that directly into the microphone for all of us. My God. Dude, the audience was dying during that just dying and then dude superpowers that's i love we ended it always with just audience interaction of like hey we're doing the offenders yeah three out of the four shows it was rich angry cops going through the audience just getting people super power yeah really yeah he was just roasting all of you, but getting the superpowers from the audience.

And then we had to all pick the offset. It was good. That was a good time. No, it was fun. That was, I couldn't, we couldn't ask for a better time. And then the hangovers each and every night. I was fine the entire time. That was weird.

I was surprised. You guys, even on the last show, they went to eat. I took a 45-minute nap. Just old manning it up. The show was like, hey, we're going there. I was like, I'm going to sleep, actually. We filmed a podcast earlier with Habitual Winecrosser and... Demo.

Demo. Oh, no shit. And we were talking about that show with them, and I said that Eli was literally like Gandalf leading the three hobbits desperately trying to get us to do the right thing all the time but the hobbits are alcoholics and i'm looking around like where the fuck brandon and cody you said he had the ring you said brandon and cody to mordor with just a loaf of bread in the ring jesus christ and a bottle of whiskey no no no on. Where the fuck are they?

Google Maps. Closest bar. I've got a good idea. Not trying to brag. We were the last ones to board the plane on Southwest every flight. Yeah. Oh, fuck you, Eli. Southwest.

Jesus Christ. Fuck you guys. You guys forced me to go into a bar and be the last one to board. I get to walk down a full flight like it's the Isle of Shame, just being the world's biggest shitty lottery ticket. Just everybody with a middle seat open is like, fuck, do I got to sit next to the hairy guy that's 260 pounds in the middle? Just let me rub my hairy triceps on you.

That's all. I'm fucking missing. Oh, fucking burlap pads over here. You can feel my tricep hair you can get sweat on you those are the two options I tried to take the safest one you had to go into a bar and hang out with us oh I see yeah I mean speaking of the bar was fun after after the last night oh Jesus real quick that fucking person i said those two that oh the dude the oh god bro i had to hear it too learn to read body language if a dude is like this well you're talking means he doesn't want to listen i i pulled my

i looked over because i the conversation was so fucking stupid that Eli was like this in the chair. And I could just, the only thing moving was his finger as I could see him scrolling on his phone as he was pretending like he was asleep the rest of the time. It was fucking hilarious. What was one of the lines this guy said? I don't, this dude, first of all, this guy was like 58 years old not in anything any kind of shape other than round and he was explaining to the other dude that also wasn't in shape next to

across the aisle loud enough for me to hear it two rows up about how he knows how to kill a man 19 different ways and slid him from stem to stern and stem yeah he's a boat he's a boat and just don't don't pay attention to it and then the other guy would be like i have a nine millimeter it identifies as a whole puncher i was like what's funny is that stuff like that is hilarious to people who aren't in our industry people that haven't seen the meme 8 000 times yeah i remember being like 14 and thinking those bumper stickers like i got a 45 because they don't make a 46 like first of all motherfucker yes they do second of all that is jesus christ i like autism brandon comes first off that's factually actually incorrect hey it's my autism oh yeah okay the bar on the last night oh no that was just amazing oh dude hunter cuts it up brandon played the the dune sardic art chant but the

but the dj so so you know the hamburger cheeseburger like the mongolian throat singing brandon played that for me. Thank you. Cause yeah. Cause last time when we were in Salt Lake, we did, we told the story of the podcast, but you paid a DJ like an absurd amount, like a thousand dollars or some shit to play.

Yeah. It started starting our chant. How I know drunk. My friends are, they'll do it for $10. Yeah. I had to pay. You didn't have to.

I didn't, I didn't pull a Cody necessarily, but I definitely overpaid but the the dude started mixing it up to the dj he was awesome oh yeah we had the starter car chant going he's like hamburger cheeseburger and he's like limp biscuit it was hilarious oh yeah it was awesome but uh yeah we we had a meat canyon out there and meat canyon he was just all night he was just like dude he was dancing just going to town dude homeboy loves to cut up that dance floor you got out there like

he's just out there like i was like oh hunter fucking dance he's one of the few guys i've ever seen it's like i just want to dance fuck these bitches i need to get away i want to hang a day with my boys because there were no females out there. So this was a dive bar across the street from the venue that we sold out. At one in the morning. Even worse, it was a dive bar right next to a sold out unsub venue. There were no women inside. Oh my God.

And then Hunter just stormed out. I had to go chase him down and follow him, make sure everything was okay. All of us got it. I was like, I got it. Certain friends. Like,

where's he going? Me and Hunter walked like two blocks down to the gas station. I was like, Hunter, what are we doing? He's like, I didn't get 200 bucks for the DJ. I told him I'd give him 200 bucks.

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Nick and Hunter just went on an adventure. It went okay. We got it taken care of dj got paid oh no we got to sign a baby i mean reddit knows about his name was william yeah little will young billion billion yeah young billion the first time we signed a baby for real that was the chillest baby on the planet though he dude he was he didn't cry once i don't know why you brought your baby to our show thank you though for yeah thank you so much it was still kind of weird but yes he didn't cry one time that was the most even during like us handling the baby holding the baby up for a sacrifice like nothing no like and standing through that entire like they were at the very end almost of

the vip line yeah like that was a long time one in the morning yeah it probably took us two hours to get through the vip line at that place so like that was a long time for a baby not to flip the fuck out yeah that was fine dude we brought it up mid podcast and the parents held him up and the crowd erupted at the that was our biggest video It was 500 people that cheered for this baby. And he's just like, 500, three months old, drunk people,

500 drunk people. We broke the record for that venue. We sold their alcohol sales that night. Right. I think that's what the owner said. We broke the, considering they brew alcohol there. Yeah.

That's impressive. We broke the record on alcohol sell and a single, and that's this community right here. That's what we try to tell the venues it's like no we should probably get a cut of the alcohol sales why because our crowd fucking i know how much they're gonna drink we need in on this action but it was just fuck just a good ass time like each so We owe it all to Young Billiam. Young Billiam. We did it for him.

Our inspiration. Switch to you, Young Billiam. Switch to you, Young Billiam. Dude, Chris and Wes also. You can tell they're used to being on the stage. Oh, God. The magicians. Yeah.

They had such good beats. I was like, oh, okay. Taking notes. We got to ask this comb question more often. Fucking dude. Oh, crusty sheets. okay take your notes we gotta ask this cum question more often dude dude Wes took his fucking clothes off and he was the most nervous one and he basically gets naked in the first five

minutes like oh well I wouldn't have wouldn't have pegged that one but alright it's fine dude but like they just they're those cards make me look like an idiot what's that what's uh what do you call it something see if you're a retarded retarded test yeah yeah this cards is like if you know this are you smarter than a retard yeah it was based off of how close they held a card it changes the word so when you're trying to sound out words you're not sure and

then you hand hold it out to the crowd and they can read it playing his day. I tried to boop Tim Kennedy. Failed miserably. He wasn't buying it. No, he just had locked eyes with you. I know. Oh, yeah, we totally. And then he picked up the mic stand like he was going to hit me.

I'm like, shit. For the second time that night. Yeah, we had Tim Kennedy in the audience, and we just brought him up on stage. That was awesome. You tried to boob him? I didn't see it. I tried hard. He's like, here.

You know who else I tried to boob? Who? Meat Canyon. Successfully. Successfully. No! No! Great reaction to it.

I got it redacted from the record that was one of my favorite boops he was so disappointed in himself I could just hear G-Van's edit when it happens in real time now with the GTA wasted shit I know as G-Van watches us from the corner

I know G-Van's here we got a boy and Jake the lawyer and oh hey also thank you for all the like you guys sold out of all our merch oh yeah that's fucking crazy thanks guys and that's sure you no one else will see what sure unless you went to the live show yeah dude uh like everyone's in town this weekend because we got the range day coming up soon. Our editor is watching us just hating himself right now. Well, nobody said

**** yet, so that's... Now he has to bleep with a black bar. Put Tony's face over it. Every time it cuts to that... Oh, God, Jesus Christ. No. The AI will see the word really clear.

Okay, flagging this. It's like, no. Yeah, no, no, definitely don't do that. You still have to bleep it. Also, we got one of the best bits, which is when you ask the audience to scream. Oh, God, I had. best bits which is when you ask the audience to scream oh god i had there is a video of 500 motherfuckers in houston uh all because we were doing like shout outs to friends family you know different stuff like that's kind of cool just like a little little bit of like you know audience participation just like being really cool for for our loved ones and

stuff like that but at the very end we did like three in a row like all different ones from us and i'm like but i can get 500 of these motherfuckers to say fuck tony and sure as shit super loud it was electric five and 500 people is deafening yes because i was like all all right, say hello, Heather. And yeah. And then Caleb's like, say hello, stupid bitch. Yeah. He's like, say fuck Tony. And they did that. Yeah, that happened. Yeah, that's that's funny.

Well, it's funny because everybody, everybody kind of in our audience knows what I'm doing right now. So that's everybody was kind of in on the joke. They understood. They understood the assignment. It was definitely our audience at each one of those things. Have you done live stuff before, Eli? Other than that one thing we did at the Veteran Awareness. That's your first live anything?

No shit. The sewer slide panel? Yeah, sewer slide panel was the first one and that was number two. That was my first one, dude. Really? Yeah. Sewer slide was your first. Yeah, I've never done public speaking things. I've done dog

and ponies for like the police department before, but I've never done like speaking events. I want to say something, but we'd have to cut it. I was going to say you're four for five for saying your life's that's technically very true

and one of them's you're like you fucking assholes and one of them's an unsub episode not a veterans panel yeah guess which one he didn't say that sub-episode. Not a veteran's panel. Yeah. Guess which one he didn't say that. Oh, the veteran's. Wrong.

You would be wrong. What is it? The VeggieTales? You'd think so, wouldn't you? Jesus fuck. I think we can keep that. That's alright, right? That's fine. Bleep it out. They'll know what I said. we can keep that. That's all right, right? That's fine. Just bleep it out. They'll know what I said.

They can find out. It's still there. Oh, man. No, I dropped an F-bomb. I dropped an R-bomb. It's okay, though. It's okay, guys. Do you see how if you're not a sensitive little fucking pussy, you can say words and it doesn't offend people?

Yeah. A certain, certain word. I think context matters too. That's my thing. Context matters. Yeah. Context really matters. There's a difference between joking around with friends and, you know,

a literal hate crime. Yeah, dude. Like if I can. If you fucking live in like, if you live in fucking London, yes. What? Oh, he's talking about cigarettes. I got Cody's.

I got you. Dude, even one of my favorite ones is just the Ching Lee and you're like, well, I can't say his actual C name that he went by. White man. Brandon's like, well, would you say that you not saying that word is kind of the chink in your armor? And then what did you say? You said it's like, you know.

I thought I said that. That was a different show that I said that. Oh, yeah. I stole his line on the fourth show. That was such a great show. We went hard on the live shows. It was. Yeah.

The community just had a blast. Oh, the only time they didn't. It was the waitstaff in Austin. Probably not our biggest fans when we were done. Yeah. Yeah. They were weird. Weird.

I don't like them or their city. So whatever. Yeah. Fuck that, dude. You remember walking in the back door and it just smelled like piss the whole time it was i hate austin dude it was the only place that had homeless people outside the venue it felt like the scene from uh blackhawk down yeah just oh my god the people down the alleys were just coming toward us when we were done like

just we were driving down and hundye. Brandon was fucking on the M2 blasting homeless people. I keep getting asked, when are you moving to Texas? I was considering it and then I went to Austin. Now I'm considering it significantly less.

Understandable. You get to visit Los Angeles, Texas there for a minute. Then Atlanta, Texas. I went 12 years without seeing a homeless guy's dick. there you fucking you got to visit los angeles texas there for me and then atlanta texas i went 12 years without seeing a homeless guy's dick it took me seven minutes in austin i'm not shitting you seven minutes and then the venues like manager comes out because i'm drinking a vodka red bull as i'm trying to like mean because you mean you went out we were like trying to shake hands and say hi to everybody before the show as they're standing outside in line we're just trying trying to be friendly and make sure everybody gets to, you know, whatever.

Be cool. And this guy comes out like, you can't have your drinks outside here. It's like, dude, there's literally a homeless guy giving another homeless guy a hand job right there across the street. I feel like I can have a vodka Red Bull outside. It's fine. There are people smoking pot and fucking shooting up in the alley. Yeah. Everywhere around. It's like this is not the issue yeah yeah i just had a beer and they're like no can't go outside like sorry we sold out your fucking venue but i looked across the street and

i was like i did a shooting breakdown right there a guy got shot 36 times god that is insane out of all fucking worst part was Cody was like, yeah, it was last weekend. I was like, yeah, I don't have a gun on me. Cause I flew here.

Yeah. That was like two weeks ago. Four venues. Austin, the only one that had that. Yeah. Well, it's weird because it was six street and like,

like six streets, the party street there in, in Austin. It's, it's a shithole. Which made it so much worse because, like, we got out and I was like, are we, like, in the really bad part of Austin? Because it looked like we were in the really, like, there were tents up.

There were people sleeping on the street. There were people doing drugs. Main street. There were homeless dicks. That's kind of like the party street. No, this is a main party street. And I was like, oh, this is not good. Yeah, this is like if you know Nashville or something, it's Broadway Street.

Like, the Vegas Strip. Like, that's where everybody goes to fucking hang out and drink just and yeah i've been to a lot of big cities since like doing the whole youtube thing austin by far the worst yeah not even close wait till you visit la like yeah oh la is dude that was i won't go i've turned down tv networks because they wanted me to go film in California. I'm not going. I just saw Jake. Jake, like Hunter Street.

Bruh. Bruh. Not going. It just smells like hobo urine the second you open that door. And was it like the other week or two weeks ago you had somebody like running with a gun into another. It was just your casual armed robbery. An armed robbery. In California with the gun laws they have did you just say casual some guns and they committed an armed robbery on our street it's in a vlog on our on our website christ man that's crazy they all moved to fucking austin

and i'm doing shooting breakdowns of like at the venue across the street where dude got shot 36 times two weeks ago. I did get a handjob in an alley. $3. Those two homeless guys are giving HJs. Jake looks over and waves. Oh, that one homeless guy is giving it. Our homeless attorney.

Yeah, we had a fucking... He wasn't homeless before he started being unsubs attorney. But now he has a real job. Now I hit your clients. I hit your swamp. Yeah. Eli, wake up! Huh?

I know that the Ghost ghost bed pillow is super comfortable and has cooling technology but we're shooting an ad right now you mean this ghost bed pillow that one cooling technology cooling technology it's hot in texas but that's cool eli i know you're cooler than the backside of a pillow but with ghost bed you don't have to turn the pillow over it has cooling technology every matches has a 20-year warranty. Some even have 25. And you can try it out for 101 nights. If you don't like it, you can send it back.

No hard feelings. No hard feelings. I have hard feelings for GhostBed. I have a hard feeling for you. I'm really hard. The pillows have cooling technology. And so do the mattresses. The mattresses do too.

Hey, Cody, did you know GhostBed also offers bundles? Bundles? You get everything you need. Just choose from your four mattresses and pick your bundle. So whether you need a mattress and a frame, or you just want to choose it all, like their cooling pillows and sheets, you can get the best bang for your buck.

Right now, GhostBed is offering 50% off everything. If you use the code unsubscribe click the link in the description or go to ghostbed.com slash unsubscribe that's right ghostbed.com slash unsubscribe and get 50 off right now and now we're about to go into range day without these breaks we are literally yesterday was our travel day back home this is monday and then we're already did two podcasts today. Another podcast tomorrow, which we're actually looking forward to. I'm so excited about that one.

Oh, yeah. Yep. Yeah. Super fucking, super stoked for that one. And then range day on the 28th, which that's your guys' fucking cup of tea. Because we staggered this poorly as far as mental health breaks. Yeah, it's fine. Yeah, we went right into this shit, dude.

Fuck me. We'll make four live shows in like a week. And now we're going right into range day. Four live shows, three inter-range day on top of all the political events i have to do which i believe is 29 next month 29 and what 20 days yeah but but we support mental health guys yeah just for the and not for me not ours yeah we push ourself to the limit no seriously as much as we bitch about it dude is the best job i ever had best job i ever had which hopefully that

shirt's out but i'll make that's really sure yeah we're doing that it's that in full full spectrum or yeah full metal metal spectrum oh yeah i remade the uh the full metal jacket cover art except the helmet says born to math and it's got a puzzle piece instead of a peace sign and then it's got i think i saw it's got a train and some crayons and the headband instead of bullets instead of bullets and a playing card so i'm so excited for that what do you mean by that, soldier? Well, I'm autistic, sir. Duality of man, sir.

The duality of the spectrum, sir. How many people we got going to the range day? Good 200 this time. 200 guests. Not including the vendors and the TACP dudes and everything. The RSOs. Everyone knows this time don't bring like 80 people. Yeah, no, no, no. We made it pretty

yeah, we made it pretty out there that you shouldn't bring fucking your entire crew of 10 people. But shout out to Time for Pie because Jared Taylor, he brings out a bunch of TACP guys to be our range safety officers. So check out time for pie.

Which is super helpful. Really helpful. Really helpful. That's why last range day, even though we had so many people out there, so many vendors, like literally dozens of full autos, crazy belt fed shit, Barrett's, nobody felt unsafe. No. Because those TACP dudes had it in line.

Yeah, there's a bunch of SOF dudes sitting behind everyone. And that was fucking awesome. Also, your crew, though, is out there just as much helping them. Because your guys are nuts. Because it's like, there's all these exotic machine guns spanning from World War I to, like, I'm pretty sure 30 years in the future. And you can just walk and be like, been around guns for a long time. I have no idea how to function this properly. Like, no problem.

And they'd be like, never once have I ever been able to throw any of them off. They know exactly how to do it with their eyes closed. Well, they built half of them. That's fair. And they're autistic. They got it. They're definitely Spurge-ish.

They got it. I love your boys. They're just the most Spurge-y dudes. Those are the dudes you want. Like I've said it before, like on the Nerd Roddick podcast, like, you know, you want those dudes that that is their fucking tism. They're going to do it right every fucking time. And if they don't, there's no such thing as good enough.

They're going to fucking do it right. I would always hire like, if that's, I would hire fucking, even if you couldn't speak, they're like, I'm a nonverbal autistic dude, but I'm really good at fucking VFX and sound design. I'm like, dope. I don't need you to speak.

Show me what you can do, bro. He'd look here. Here's an alien. I'm like, fuck yeah, this is dope. Here's an alien wear and a speaking spell.

Let's go. But he can only speak on action sketch really slowly. All right. We're going to have to streamline this. We're going to build a pipeline for this, bro. We've got to make it work. Jesus. Bro, I just want to say shout out to my son, too, for the last range day. He was out there teaching grown men how to handle machine guns.

Which was really cool. Proud dad moment there. Your kid cracks me up. He's like, first off, it's fucking brass to grass, you dumbass. John's just smoking. Looking like a 40-year-old man, like, alright, well, here's how you

load a dipshit. John slaps a grown man, and he's like, no, no, this way. Muzzle downrange. Sorry, sir. I can't wait till he comes on the podcast. He's almost of age.

That would be a fun podcast. Four years from now if we're still allowed to do this. How old is John? He's 14. His 21st birthday is going to be fucking dope. We've talked about we're all gonna write novels we've talked about my seven retarded uncles john yeah that's gonna be john's autobiography yeah his tell-all book it's like my seven retarded uncles deep sigh in quotations

so this is the first book that's ever been marketed by someone who wasn't the author for a decade prior oh I forgot you guys you met my dad oh yeah your dad is awesome

because your dad didn't know what you like he's just kind of like in the blank it's like my father also it's like what you like. He's just kind of like in the blank. It's like my father also. It's like, what you doing on the Facebook, son? And then, yeah, your dad came out and just got to see the live show for the first time. Opening that door.

It's like opening the door. I'm like, ah, run out. Because the second we would walk outside, it would just be like screaming. Fucking surreal. Felt like a Jonas brother. Yeah. I'd run out.

I was like, da, da, da, da. I gave hugs. And they're like, ah. I was like, this is my dad. And they're like, ah. And then I think I threw G-Van. I forget why I threw G-Van out there. It was like a grenade, though.

Because G-Van just got here. And I was like, oh, yeah, I can do this. I was like, G-Van, come here. He's like, what? And I opened it. And I was like, this is our editor, G-Van come here and he's like what and I opened it I was like this is our editor G-Van close to it and I just heard him screaming at the door shut

at the VIP that was plenty of shit sorry G-Van I was ready for anything your dad still threw me off it was hilarious dude he's just like this your dad looks like a kung fu master except he was wearing like long john thermal long sleeve shirt with the

sleeves rolled up and then he had a sleeveless harley davidson shirt over the top boot cut wranglers and like biker boots and he had the braided beard he had a braided beard to look dope i was going to call him l wizard he either knows kung fu or how to build a house Dope. I was going to call him El Wizard. He either knows Kung Fu or how to build a house. Gandalf. El Gandalf the Grey. His staff's just a fucking two by four.

El Gandalf the Brown. Two by four. See? Well, because before this, you're like, yeah, my dad's been doing construction his whole life he could build anything and i was like i don't know and then you see him and you're like oh okay yeah he's so nice i think this guy's already fucking awesome he's just smiling the entire time like confused at what was going on yeah and then we open up the fourth show in dallas your dad in the audience no clue what's going on and we open up the fourth show in dallas your dad in the audience no clue what's going on and we open up with a solid eight minute conversation about cum me being like who out there

masturbates i'm like yeah i believe you proud dad moment he's like now after after the show's done he's like well son i'm very proud of you but i still don't know what you do i don't really don't have any idea now this didn't help i think i have more questions are you okay pops i'm gonna make it i'll survive dad your family is fucking awesome they're so supportive that's that's actually the first time that we met Eli's family. Yeah. They were, dude, the next day when we were walking to the airport. And I was like, oh, yeah, that's my sister. She's 54.

They're like, what? Because my sister Chas is. You have good genes, my boy. Chas looks fucking, like, they thought she was my age. Yeah. Like, it was like, huh it was, it was like, huh? Yeah. It was like,

she was like 33, 34, right? 54, 54. Yeah. Just aging very well for her. Yeah.

Good job, Eli. You're going to fucking age like that too. You guys will make me not age. Yeah. I'm drinking with my boys. I'm pretty sure I already look older than you and i'm the second youngest one here yeah uh we had a good time i'm i dude fall if we're going to 100 do it again oh god

yeah that was that was fun that was that was addictive and you know what everybody who didn't come to the live show really missed out you know so have FOMO, I wouldn't fucking do it again. Dude, and we'll do an East Coast one, a South Texas one. I'm just throwing it out there. Midwest has the most votes on Twitter and Instagram right now when you guys put up the poll. Yeah, but none of you, you don't have a fucking city big enough. Yeah, we do. Where?

I'll take you guys to the Surf Ballroom in Clear Lake. It's like this. Wow, there's like 33 people in that venue? No, bro. You have to take a fucking sled dog. the surf ballroom in clear lake it's like this there's like 33 people in that venue no you have to take a fucking dog surf ballroom is actually legitimately famous and like a ton of people are performed there because it's uh it's the last place that buddy holly performed before his plane crashed oh cool he died a hundred years ago i swear to god i i, my brain auto-corrected that to Bud Dwyer. No. No. It was actually the famous performance. What, the good old Bud Dwyer nosebleed?

Yeah, we talked about him. Oh, yeah, I forgot what you were talking about. God, we talked about a lot of stuff on the podcast. Yeah, on the live show? Yeah, we talked about that on the live show. Yeah, I was like, what? Because we were talking about the most fucked up shit you've seen on the internet. Yeah.

It's like, yeah, that broke my chair. You were fucking Bud Dwyer doing the pop himself on live tv because i told the story about how he was basically like because he got caught embezzling or something like that so he was you know becoming a good politician and uh still back when i was back when there was still honor you know shame and things like that when you fuck up and you corrupt but like he uh he tried to be a good person scheduled a press conference where only he knew he was gonna you know punch his ticket but he was just moving around the words yeah right but he um he he called the press conference like during when kids would be in school so he wouldn't accidentally traumatize an entire generation back when there was like two channels right only fucked up problem was it was a snow day kids were home that day so yeah all the kids saw it

i don't know i watched it on rotten.com god i forgot about that yeah we had some good old talking points during the podcast everyone had a blast of a time for lack thereof boom the year's 2024 do you know what that means a new look for you landscape has the 5.0 lawnmower ultra that's right the lawnmower 5.0 ultra is a man's cheat code to looking good feeling good and have all the confidence whether you're looking to maintain a trim or make sure everything's gone this this has you covered. Trusted by 10 million men worldwide. I actually use this. I endorse this. I use all their products. Equipped with two skin safe blade heads. A standard one for taking a little bit

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Head over to manscaped.com and use code UNSUP and get yourself 20% off and free shipping. I love free shipping. Make your balls and your spouse happy. What are you guys moving into the fucking back to the range day? Who's the guest you're looking forward to? Is there any new names coming out to this one? Oh, yeah.

Yeah, dude. There's a lot of UFC fighters coming out. Wait, oh yeah yeah dude there's a there's a lot of ufc fighters coming out wait no shit yeah i was i was dude i was wanting to get strickland out but strickland hasn't answered us but there's a lot of ufc fighters coming out because sean is like super pro gun on uh on twitter and instagram and all that shit like he's shooting all the fucking time yeah it's like i'd love to have him out you know i just i thought about this last night when I was going to bed. I don't know why. I was like, we're fucking retards.

We missed our chance. If we turned our camera around, it'd be like everyone just screamed, Henry Cavill, go to unsubscribe podcast. And we just upload that. That would have made its rounds on the internet. I was like, fuck. Next time. Oh, yeah, have made its rounds on the internet. I was like, fuck! Next time. Oh, yeah, we can have him on the podcast.

Oh, yeah, we always have Henry. His legs are broken. It'd be super funny. His legs are broken? He broke his legs. Oh. Now he won't come on the podcast. He broke his legs.

Also, big shout out to everyone who's like, oh, you're taller than I expected. I was like, hey, I can live without you. I think it's because we meme on you for being like two inches shorter i know i'm like four foot ten to the lord there's our boy if only we could get him out just maybe get henry cavill we just need to have the audience spread the word we do the audience just needs yeah exactly we're still ranked in gaming we just need to have the audience spread the word. The audience just needs... We're still ranked in gaming. We just need to have the audience spread the word that we're the number one

Warhammer 40k podcast on the planet because he's a huge Warhammer 40k nerd. He'll come out thinking we're going to talk about that and then we're just going to get him hammered. Cody's blocking the light. Oh, shit. Oh, no. Eli's tism. Eli's lighting tism is just unacceptable.

Unacceptable. He was about to go full accountant. His hard cast of Cody bleeding. I read the comments on Cody's vlog that he posted about going to the staccato because

it showed us after we finished that podcast where me and Zach were rolling in the dining room and stuff. And the amount of people that are just like, I can't believe the unsubscribed studios and in the middle of a dining room. No, 100%. Oh, yeah.

I thought it was like a professional studio. No, it's just a dining room. This is actually a dining room table. Adapt, improvise, overcome. Come. Yeah, come. Adapt, improvise, come. We have a kitchen right there. We have a living room. Adapt, improvise, overcome. Come. Yeah, come. Adapt, improvise, come. We have a kitchen right there.

We have a living room right there. For all the booze that we drink. It's really dope, actually. It's how you set up a proper studio. Yeah, well, I mean, it's fucking the best thing that we could have done because anytime our guests stay here, it's a three-bedroom house

and we just put people up in the bedrooms and it's easy don't have to buy people hotels or anything save money in the long save a lot of money in the long run like in the long run he's like hey right now we have some boys living with i i talked to the neighbor he said he might be interested in coming on yes yeah can we say his name hello i don't know why we couldn't Yeah Sammy The Vietnam veteran next door He's the old 101st Vietnam veteran

And living next door To a podcast house Yeah I think We talked about it before though He thought we were all just drug dealers He's like there's so many They pull up once a month And nice cars drug dealers. He's like, there's so many. They pull up once a month in nice cars.

Really expensive cars. There's cameras all over the house. There's a lot of packages getting delivered. For a solid two months, we were very questionable. It's completely understandable on his part.

He loves us now. We talk to him. He's like, wait, you're all veterans? It's completely understandable on his part, to be honest. But he loves us now. Oh, now he does. We go over, we talk to him. Bring him booze and wine. He's like, wait, you're all veterans? Oh, okay. Okay. You guys are just good at what you do.

Fantastic humans. Which UFC fighters are coming out? We couldn't get Strickland, but. Couldn't get Strickland. We're getting a couple out there. I don't want to say names right now because we don't know exactly if they're coming. It's just like when you talk to a content creator. It's like, hey, are

you coming out? It's like 50 50 if they ever actually fucking show up. Yeah, I'm going to try though, bro. I'll see you tomorrow, buddy. It doesn't show up. That's like me going to dinner sometimes. I'll be right there. It's like the running joke is fucking eli time

yep a hundred percent like hey i'll be at this restaurant at this hour it's like eli says yeah i'm coming it's like all right we'll just schedule that an hour behind yeah i'm on the way now just got in the car an hour and a half later it's like he lives eight minutes away i drive the opposite what are you doing you autistic i can only go clockwise around san antonio and they go all the way down and around come here it's a thing he had to stop and wait for a train and by wait for a train i mean chase it because it was cool. Holy shit. Hop on the track.

Oh, shit. I bet if I go to that intersection right now, I could probably cut it off and watch it again. Oh, man. This is so fucking dope. What am I doing, boys? This is absurd. Dude, we're just living our best lives. It's a good time.

When are you moving? Oh, you got a fucking new vehicle. Yeah, I got a Texas car. What? I'm here enough it made financial sense, believe it or not. It really, I mean, it does. The monthly payments are less than I was paying in Ubers and car rentals coming down here for a week a month. And it's dope.

And it's cool. it's cool it's really cool it's one of the reasons i decided to just flat out move to texas a the covid shit sucked but b the um just the amount of time i was spending here anyway i was fine there was one time i spent an entire fucking month in texas i'm just like oh dude i remember when you were in that weird transition period of coming out here because you're trying to get the uh the shop set up well that was way later this was like I was just spending a fuckload of time down here whether it was with demo ranch like I was always oh yeah San Antonio yeah that was but I there's one time I had those ak build courses in Texas like I

literally just drove down here and lived here for a month. Like it. And then you finally made the move. Return to my ancestral home. Oh, I love it. I remember all the, dude, those are the such good times. I was fucking Cody moved out. You were here and just living with me for a few weeks. You and John. And then you got your place.

I remember shot like taking you around a house shop or I was just rolling with you and you were trying to find a place. Yeah. And then you moving down during the Texas storm. God, the big snowpocalypse. Holy shit. Now we need a story from you moving here. Texas drivers are wild. Aggressive.

Everything's bigger in Texas, especially your guys' inability to drive in inclement weather. Jesus Christ. It rained yesterday, and the amount of people that didn't know how to drive their car in rain blew my mind. It's incredible. Fucking J-Wolf. That's the same thing that he said when we were coming over here. He's like, yeah, everyone had their flashers on, and it was just barely raining. That is my number one pet peeve when people put their fucking hazards on when it's raining, it's like, I'm aware of that, Becky.

What are you telling me? I've literally never even seen that before. Really? I've never seen anybody turn their flashers on for fucking rain in my entire life. No, that's a thing. That's definitely a thing here in Texas. Oh, shit. That's fucking wild to me. It's a thing. That's definitely a thing here in Texas. Oh shit fucking wild to me

It's a mild storm. I'm gonna get in the far left lane and go 20 on Hazards on we all know the left lane is for crime. No live in a desert. I'm only used to it being between 65 and 75 Do that's the only time I get fucking rages. If people in the left lane going fucking the speed limit is the only time I rage. You will see like asshole. I'm like. Have you seen my new shirt? No.

God, I'm getting pissed off just thinking about people in the left lane. It's coming out on Bunker Branding soon. Fucking God. Yes. Juice. It's coming out on bunker branding. God. Yes. The left lane is for crime. Okay. There's fucking signs here in Texas to say the left lane is for passing only. I will pass people.

And I make, I like when I, when you make me go like this around you, I'm going to go like this and point at you and flip you off and then go around and get right in front of you. And then point at the sign that says, this is a fucking only for passing only for passing. It doesn't matter if you're going to speed limit in the left lane,

the left lane is for fucking as fast as you want to go. And it's your own responsibility. If you get pulled over, that's you that's on you. But if people want to drive faster, get the fuck out of the goddamn way. I won't just do the stare

down thing. My thing is to guess what they look like by how they drive. Right off the bat, I'm like, that has to be a fucking 72-year-old white man. Or it's a fat white woman. We chose the safe ones. Yeah.

They both wanted to say Asian yellow driver. Theo Vaughn's bit on that. Did you see that? Oh, that's right. And if that cheeseburger was Jewish. No, no. I think it was Shane Gillis. The Shane Gillis is a slut.

No, but it was fucking Theo Vaughn was talking about like in San Francisco. He's like, I'm just going to, you know, San Francisco has the highest population of Asian Americans in the country or something like that. And he's like, it's also the first city in the country to have self-driving vehicles. So I'm just going to let you put together why those two things are hilarious. Speaking of road shit, what was up with the fucking car in Houston? Remember that? We were driving behind. It took us a minute to figure out what it even was.

I was like, because you were like, did anyone see that? I was like, I was asking the same question. I have it on camera. I'll get it up on Instagram. Yeah. I also sent it to you. The one that had like cake mixers out the side of the road. It was fucking fucking it was

pimp purple for minnesota vikings metallic purple the entire car and it had the back tire on it with spoked rims like it was like a malibu like a 1970s cadillac and then it had fucking hubcap extenders that stuck out at least 18 inches probably two feet on both sides it could barely fit in the lane hold on but guess what amazing like vehicle expensive car this was it took me a second but because i'm from the midwest i recognized it by the taillights what was it it was an early 2000s grand dam with fucking $30,000 worth of work done to it. It was fucking hilarious. Bro, Jake,

like actually, can we get a real reaction? You got the video? Do you have your song? Come here, come here, Jake. Fuck, it's upstairs. It's on my camera. I'm sorry.

I don't have it. Fuck. Because it is fucking... It's like this. Dude, Jake, it was like when they were driving in front of us.

This car was nine feet wide. It was insane. He was going to the airport. I wish we could have just pimply duties to do, I guess. I don't know. I just want. Oh, yeah. You were going to say.

I was going to just say, hey, crime. Stop floating. I wish we could have just ran him off the road and fucking killed him for having that car. The commentary in the bus that we were on was hilarious. Bro, we were terrorizing. Oh, my God, we're in twisted metal. We were terrorizing every fucking driver we had. They got tipped well.

They had to ride along with us. You're basically, well, you're riding in a fucking comedy group. Oh, no. We got shit-faced in Austin, and then we had the long drive home, and I woke up, and we were at Bucky's. Where's my necklace I bought? Over there. The super drug.

I forgot. Bring that over here. We're in Bucky's. I bought this. It was very dronky. I forgot about that. bucky's i i bought this was very true i forgot we're screaming at jake dude we got oh my god our lawyer is so mad

this episode he's gonna bomb we're doing really good there's two options on this our attorney has advised us that we made fun of him the whole way. We were just like, Jake had the aux cords. We're just like, hey, Jake, play Zach Bryan. You're like, no, Zach Bryan's fucking gay. So we just kept fucking, we just kept coming up with new song titles. Hey, Jake, play Fuck Me and My Gay Ass by Zach Bryan. Hey, Jake, Two Dudes 69ing by Zach Bryan. Hey, Jake. Two dudes 69ing by Zach Bryan.

Jake, by the end, was like, so not any of these songs, guys. And then I think we made the mistake of poking at Dolly Parton, which is apparently a very sensitive subject. We stepped on sacred territory. Dude, he was just like... Jake's just huffing.

I apologize the next day. I on i text jake i'm like i'm sorry for the things i said to you in the name of zach bryant god jake got bullied he's like this is how it happens this is high school and you get four dudes just drunk and we're just like, let's bully our lawyer. The one fucking person we shouldn't bully. It's like, Jake, could you please play Come in Each Other's Foreskin by Jack? Is that what I did? You went out and smoked.

Like one of the most wholesome people I know. Now that it's all coming back to me, we were kind of assholes to everybody we ran into. We love you, Jay. I remember walking into the, it's like 11 when we got to the hotel. In Dallas, we got to the hotel and we checked in. Like, when's the bar open? Four. But we're alcoholics now.

Guys, we had a rough week. Definitely should go to any of the live shows. Oh, no. We turned into, like, just fucking degenerates. Party bus, awesome idea by Cody. He was like, we can get a party bus. They'll drive us there and back, and we can drink on it. Terrible idea.

It is such a weird juxtaposition of my life, though, right now. Because, like, earlier that day, I had meetings in the capital in Austin, like the capital of Texas. Did you were taking like important political calls right before? Oh, God, in Dallas. Yeah, I had to like, sorry, this is a member of Congress. I've got to run real quick. I had to sprint out of the green room and take like a very intense 15 minute conversation and then come back into a conversation about cum. Like it was, this is the double life is getting fucking weird. We're in a good party, buddy.

We are living the dream. God forbid a normal fucking person gets elected. Oh fuck. Connor, do you know what the best thing I love bringing with me? What? Eli, what's the thing you like bringing with you? My Raycon Everyday Earbud. They isolate noise so good.

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Some of my favorite features are the noise isolation. I love the awareness mode, because when you're built like me, walking home at night can be dangerous. Also, the earbud tap function. On a real note, I actually do use Raycons every day. They sound amazing. They fit comfortably.

They never fall out. The audio quality is amazing. I listen to music. I love music. And I love Raycons. Head over to buyraycon.com slash unsub to get 20% off of your order today. 20% off and free shipping. Yeah, now we got just this, day and then rest and relaxation for fucking

45 seconds. We got a podcast tomorrow. Oh, yeah. That's why I said range day and then the last one Friday and then a fucking So we have podcast Friday with... Are we doing a podcast tomorrow? Yeah. Old man. Old man gaming.

Grandpa gaming. Can we talk about that? Yeah, grandpa gaming, dude. I'm super pumped for it. Have you guys seen him? Grandpa Gaming? Is that his name? Grandpa Gaming. He's just sniping motherfuckers in Battlefield like it's nothing. He's like, yeah, this is where you should put your reticle up right here.

He's just destroying people. He's deleting Chinese kids. And laughing the entire time, hysterically. So basically what he used to do. He'd go up with Minnie Mills. He's just deleting Chinese kids. And laughing the entire time, hysterically. So basically what he used to do. In Battlefield, the video game. Yeah. We'll emphasize that part.

In a video game, he's deleting Chinese kids. Is he a veteran? Yeah, he's a veteran. He's a retired diver. Yeah. And marksman. So he was a squad, because we Yeah, he's a veteran. He's a retired diver. Yeah. And marksman. So he was a squad, because we talked, he was a squad marksman. That dude's comment section is so funny. Oh, God. It's like, this man doesn't have PTSD, he's got nostalgia.

That's a shirt! It's not PTSD. It's nostalgia. Oh, my God. Fuck. With just a reticle. Okay, that's a shirt, too. That is the funniest shit I've heard all day.

Fucking write that down in your little book of dollars. Jesus Christ. Dude, I'm so excited for him. He is. His text, I sent it to the group because his first text to us was just as simple as, like, here it is. I said, Gramps, hello, sir. After this flight, we'll ring you back. Truly appreciate you reaching out.

The guys are so excited to chat with you. His first response. Great. I would like to take my rifle also if the airlines won't because we invited him down it was like love to come down uh to san antonio he's like also if the airlines won't let me do it then i'll drive down and in my pickup and then you just send a picture of his rifle yeah what the shit is that dude homeboy is ready to shoot some rounds i would like to bring this if possible i'm like oh he's gonna get along we don't have any long ranges to justify that thing but go ahead no he's dude is and you definitely don't want to shoot steel at 100 yards of that fucking thing whatever that is that's like 308 minimum but he was a dude his content he blew i didn't realize

how fast he exploded especially a million on instagram which instagram is very hard to climb on and he broke a million really quickly you gotta be doing like viral reels yeah for that which he does like that's why i've seen his stuff you just see that old man he's like he's fucking deleting kids clicking clicking foreheads i'm like uh so super excited for that one i think he'll really it'll be interesting because he has very much an old man when he talks it's like that slow cadence just excited about life in general hammered that's what i'm hoping for i was like do you cuss he's like well my streams are i'll keep my streams pg because i have a very large uh audience that is young but uh if it's not there

i swear like a sailor i was like brother you're gonna get along great i don't know what it is about my content i've always been like blown away by the amount of older people that like my videos i was at uh i was at the store the other day. It's this like store in Iowa called Batteries and Bulbs where they sell batteries and bulbs. Wow. Plot twist. I had to get like a. This is a fucking.

SVU. They do like key cutting and car fobs and shit. And I was getting a spare key. M. Night Shyamalan twist And I'm like waiting in line and there's this old Old guy I could just tell he's a veteran I was like are you in the military he's like yeah Like doing what he's like I was a cab scout In the Korean war

Oh that's dope I had just done my Sergeant Reckless Video so I knew all kinds of shit About the Korean war and he's like Yeah I was in Fuck I can't remember the name off the korean war and he's like yeah i was in fuck i can't remember the name off the top of my head it's like uh punjang or tonjang it was like literally the village on the fucking demilitarized zone line that got turned from a normal city into like the peace village where it's just where the north and south governments and militaries meet to like exchange prisoners and shit and i explained that militaries meet to like exchange prisoners and

shit and i explained that to him he's like oh i had no idea it was just a normal like village when i was there and i told him the story about sergeant reckless and then like it was time for me to go like i got my shit done and he's like well write down write down your name so i can find your videos on the internet and i was like just fair warning like i swear a lot i make a lot of inappropriate jokes he's like son i've killed 13 people i don't give a fuck son i've killed 13 i was like when you start with son he's not joking all right my bad our boy knew the number too god God damn. Son, I've killed 13. I'm like, okay.

I know how to kill my 19. I know you have never killed a single individual. Son, I've killed 13 men. That's how you know. You know how you know he's never killed a person? He's talking about it on a fucking Southwest flight. Across the Nile. It made my whole day.

It was awesome. Yeah, I don't curse, but I've just slaughtered a lot of men. Side note, fucking dope ass shirt, Brandon. Oh, yeah. That's my new shirt. I haven't pushed at all.

Now we're pushing it now. The CIA Outstanding Journalism Award. It's beautiful. CIA Outstanding Journalism Award Which is beautiful If you know anything about their history Yeah The government You can trust them This looks like it was made I swear to god I thought you were going for a boop

No I was just like looking at all this shit I'm like dear god it's actually like old It looks weathered. Dude, yes. He can hear you. Feel it. These look like cocoa pebbles. Brandon's hungry.

I just remember coming downstairs the next morning. $40 for this? That's Bucky's prices, baby. Dude, Bucky. Tax write-off. I was drunk, and it's now a tax write-off, even though it's not on my couch. Why are you sniffling it, dude? Dude, my entire comment section.

It smells sweet. Now my fan base smells. Oh, it really does. Oh, my God. It smells like a cocoa pebble. Yeah. Holy shit, that does smell sweet. It smells like the Bca pebble. Yeah. Holy shit, that does smell sweet. It smells like the Bucky Nuggets.

I feel like he's gaslighting me into trying to eat it. You guys are gaslighting me into trying to eat rocks right now. No, it's not. Smell it, Nick. No. Dude, smell your fucking thing. No, have you not smelled it? I've smelled it.

Okay. I don't like how you said that. Oh, I've smelled it. Okay. I don't like how you said that. Oh, I've smelled it. No, my whole fan base after I did that tax video where I explained the couch in the background isn't my casting couch. It's my tax write-off couch. And now, like, my new ad for the Ching Lee video that came out today was Delete Me. And Hannah walks in and says, oh, this video is brought to you by Delete Me. And Hannah walks in with an MP5 and goes, I thought you'd never ask.

And does the MP5 slap and everybody's catching on. And now, and then when I walk back in, I act like, you know, we go have sex and then I get the MP5. I set it on the couch as I walk back in and it's in the background for the rest of the video.

And everybody's like, my boy just turned an MP5 into a tax write. No, no, no, no. Yes. Well,

what's funny is that you can buy it intending to put it in a video and not yep and it just means you're bad at your job but it's still right off trust me i buy a lot of fucking guns that i just haven't done videos on yet but there will be in videos they will be videos yeah and plus they're in the background of shit like you know they'll either be on my gun wall in the back as a prop or like we'll be doing shop tours and they're everywhere but like there are like seriously there's got to be at least 20 guns that i bought that i just i want to do a video on eventually but i just haven't done it yet so you can get around to there's one you'll you actually i'd love to have you on this one yeah um it's a i think it's a

model night don't quote me on this uh it's like a fn or a FN or Browning model 1910. And I want to call it the gun that started World War One because that was the gun that was used to assassinate. What's transferred and transferred? God, see, my friends are smart. They know the name. I just know the event. No idea the name. Because I know you go into the sandwich.

Literally. Yeah, I know you could go into the entire history of that for the video and everything. Yeah, I could do that. The botched assassination that happened before that. I'd have to read up on it, but just the starting of World War I is insane. It was a lot of fucking dominoes. It's a lot of people having their homies' backs for really not great reasons. It was literally like...

That's how most of our bar fights start. Hey. It's literally the international equivalent of a bar fight, yeah. Pretty much. Hey, that's my friend of a bar fight. Yeah, pretty much. Hey, that's my friend. Just dog pile. Hey, that's my friend. Yeah, literally.

And then 400,000 young men died. Millions of deaths later. It was like, oh, fuck. Yeah, never mind. 10 million. Because that was trench warfare. That was like, hey, you're not fine. I'm going to shoot you in the back of the head. I'm insulting the nightmare brick. And spanish flu at the same time you know what makes trench war less fun

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Yeah, like that's fucking horrifying. Can I tell you guys 20, 20 million deaths? I love Brandon. We know he bought me a trench shotgun. Oh, yeah.

Wait, what? You can slam fire it. Yeah, you actually, you can. You totally can. Didn't NATO try to say that's not a real thing? Brandon's like,

yeah, you totally can. Oh, yeah. Germany tried to have shotguns outlawed as a war crime because they were mad at the Marine Corps that's an actual thing no that's a real thing yeah they tried to have it declared a war crime and then they were like talking shit like

oh yeah well using a shotgun and not having to aim at fucking point blank range isn't gentlemanly and it's because you guys aren't good riflemen and the marines were like dope well i love it's like you still allow artillery and mortars so fuck off yeah you motherfuckers are the ones using mustard gas and you're mad at me because i have a gas mask and a fucking shotgun. Get the fuck out of here. That was that first Marine that was like pow.

Pow. He held it down and was like pow. Shit. When I did the... Guys. Guys. Guys. Guys, get over here. Look at this shit. You just do this. Do it again. That's a joke I made in the Trench Sweeper video. It was like

the United States military gave a gun to the Marine Corps, who's only limiting factor in how much destruction it can dispense is how quick the Marines can do this. What's the joke? It's like an eight, an 18 year old boy from Wisconsin. Yeah, exactly. That the bayonet that came with the things's a fucking sword yeah it's like this long it's enough to go completely through a normal sized human because that's also like in the the the weird transitionary phase between like you think of like a vietnam uh bayonet right you think about like a normal like a k-bar kind of knife yeah but like right before that was the fucking two foot civil war

tri-blade shit so like you're in like the transitionary phase where it's flat but it's still you know i could scratch eli's forehead from here yeah you could scratch the back of my noggin from there from the inside oh fuck uh shout out to what's his name knives microtech oh the microtech guy uh i know his name i don't know if you want me to say his actual name on the podcast probably not uh shout out to we had a gentleman that's going to be called the biggest collector of microtech knives uh in the country is what he told me and he showed up and he's like i hand selected a different microtech knife for all of you guys and gave and he gave each of us a uh microtech ultra tech so i have the i think this one's called the warmonger the warhound blade cody has the donut limited edition ultra tech

truly i am bro yours is a new one i hadn't seen it before. He said it was a brand new knife blade shape that just came out. It was dope as shit. Yeah, no, I, I, it has like a bottle opener on the back, like a curve for a bottle opener. Yeah. And it was like, it was kind of neat. It was like, was it double edged on half the backside? I think so. I'd have to check again.

I took it home and then my, uh, my girl immediately stole it. So she's like, wow, I wow, I always wanted a knife like this with the assisted opening. I'm like, me too. It's yours now. These are dope. Dude, yeah, giant shout out to him. Yeah, thanks, buddy.

You got, I got the twin flames because he was like, this is for Sav and you. That's cool. And it was two of them with that heart thing. It was like a heart-shaped throwing star is what I thought it was. Well, it has a literally cut-out metal heart that you can take out and has, like, the description of the blades. It's like the twin flames, two knives indicating love, serial number, blah,

and then two black knives with red laser engraved hearts throughout it. And then like that. They're fucking badass. I was like, babe, those are very sharp. Like Microtex, extremely fucking sharp. Yeah, their social media team. I don't want to talk about them. Oh, yeah.

The donut knife. Yeah. Yeah. Wait, what? I don't know about that. You don't know that story? No. Can we, do we skip it?

I mean, we can probably talk about it. We can talk about it. Does that guy work at Microtech? He's like really good friends with all of them. And also the gentleman that designs blades for Microtech. Well, he's coming. The Microtech guy is coming to Range Day. Oh, fuck yeah. So he's coming the micro tech guy is coming to range day oh fuck yeah so he's coming he was gonna invite Sebastian Bork Borka who is a guy

who is good friends with Brandon what we know born no no no no no he's friends with Sebastian Gorka who like the speaker yeah no different guy this guy no cough yeah uh no but he designs all the blades um for mike not all of them it's marfione and him that designed blades for microtech so that guy was gonna come out too but he was busy so he couldn't but yeah but the shout out to you for fucking those dope ass we won't shit on microtech no okay if he's coming out he's friends with cody's just mad that he couldn't find a donut cerakoted one no i tried to buy it from them i didn't i i didn't ask for it for free i was just like hey guys could i buy this knife from you i will pay full retail price could i buy it and

they're like no we don't do that i I was like, God damn it, dude. But it's a donut. It's a fucking literal donut knife. I will buy it. Then they sent a picture of them just doing this. I wouldn't even be mad that I'm like, damn, that social media is baller. Finding that knife consumed you for like 48 hours. Yeah, you helped me out.

I had to track one down on like a second party, like scalper website to get it to him. And I think you paid like literally double the retail price to get one. And then you gave it to just. Yeah, so after. We can cut that out if you don't want. You tell us. No, that's fine. No, after our first podcast we did here in San Antonio,

I was in the bathroom, and the kid that was cleaning the bathroom, I say kid, he was of legal age to own this knife. He was like, hey, man, I saw that you were. Dude, he was only 11. It's fine. But, no, he was the nicest dude ever. I come in, he was like, dude, I saw that you were nervous, but you guys killed this show.

This was awesome. And he's in there cleaning the bathroom, and I felt bad because he was already spraying down the toilets, and I took a piss. But he was like, this is awesome, man. And I was like, all right, this awesome dude gave me this knife. Would you like mine? Because it was the same one. It was the same microtech. And so I gave him my fucking $600 knife.

I'm playing the fucking, in my head I'm just doing, I'm building a commercial. It's the NFL commercial where it's like that little four year old. And then Donald looks back and it's a four year old gives him a phone and he's like

hey kid you open the blade and toss it to him sticks right through the head thanks Mr. Donut I'm not gonna lie fucking that was bringing me back

to like at one point I bought like an actual switchblade which at the time in the state was not legal I don't think I was like 15 and this guy like sketch at the time in the state was not legal. I don't think I was like 15. And this guy like sketchy dude at like a gun show was just like, hey, kid, you.

Do you want a pearl handled switchblade and a copy of the anarchist cookbook? I'm dead fucking serious. I bought both from the same fucking guy. I'm dead. The the early fucking edition, the 1970s like fucking william whatever oh yeah explain what the anarchist cookbook is i don't think i will okay you can google it at home or like don't yeah i will tell you now all the copies that are available now like the the new ones they've all changed the recipes it's like oh it's the watered down versions yeah it's all

like there's there's different things about like different drugs you can make different like a lot of it's like bombs and like homemade weaponry and like black powder and shit like that. But like they've changed all the recipes since then. So like obviously if kids get a hold of it, they're not just like you know, smoking banana peels and fucking blowing up homemade

semtex in their backyard. Thank God. Napalm. Napalm ain't that fucking hard to be honest. That's like the free space in their backyard. Thank God. Napalm. Napalm ain't that fucking hard. That's like the free space in bingo. I did all this shit when I was like 15, dude. I had no interest in drugs

at all when I was a kid. It was all just like weird. You can make C4 at home in an oven? You can buy off of Amazon or eBay with a prepaid gift card? Oh my God. As you showed on YouTube for your first strike. It wasn't A.

It was gunpowder. It was black powder. It wasn't C4. I would never do that. You can do it though. I'll do it again. Trust me, I know. The fucking crazy store is running into one of the guys that worked at the San Antonio Club was Osborne, who I deployed with.

Oh, yeah, shit. The security guy. Dude. We never talked about that on stage. I forgot about this. Bro, that was Osborne. Shout out. What's up, bud? Dude, that was a wild experiment. I forgot about this. That was Osborne. Shout out. What's up, bud?

Dude, that was a wild experiment. I haven't seen this dude. I've been out for almost two decades. Yeah. Fuck. Fuck. 15 years I've been out. Jesus.

So I haven't seen Osborne in 15 years. I walk up. He's like, hey, man, what's up? I was like, hi. We were just talking to the entire all the staff. The staff, we'd always take care of them. And they took care of us. So it was amazing,

amazing people. And he's like, hey. I was like, what's up, what's up? He's like, hey man, what's up? Hey, long time no see. Long time no see. Fucking hug, boom. And then walking back, wearing out in the green room and he's like, Eli, you don't remember me. I was like holy shit fucking Osborne

you're you had that you handled the fucking cut off head and got put in the Rolling Stones magazine he's like hey you remember I was like hey Osborne quick military story when this is the bread basket this is the military stories don't do well in this podcast. None of our viewers

like that. We fucking bomb. No guess. Fucking breadbasket. The terrible area. This is like the last push in Moktadia. And we are on month 14 of 15 out of this deployment.

God damn. 14 month deployment? 16 total. Jesus. So we. 14 month deployment. 16 total. Jesus. So we're at month. I was. Not QRF. I forget what it's called when you go in first by an extra two weeks. So I was there first.

So I technically did a 16 month deployment. Now we're about to do the bread basket push. Thank fucking God for one time they're like let's let's let the new people replacing you do this last push now before that there was a bridge that separated uh moktadia from the bread basket area which is like where all the bad guys went after we killed all the other bad guys they're on this bridge those Hesco barriers and they got the call it's like hey there's a head on a Hesco barrier you guys gotta go go pick it up go police up that head go grab that head yeah so Osborne was the one they're like and

then Rolling Stones is out go get some head yeah and this is the first time i learned how media works i was like oh wow so hold on just to work clear he's literally like cleaning up a site is all he's doing yeah he is getting sent out to clean up the post remnants of battle yeah this is first i want to say it was first platoon first platoon was tasked to go to the bridge and then they were like osborne go get that head it was just a head on a hesco barrier to say don't come in here it was like so it's put to put there to make a point yeah and it was like an iraqi sergeant major or something like that and and Osborne is just like a young kid at the time. Yeah. Like literally low guy on the totem pole. Yeah.

He's an E4. So yeah. Fucking 20 year old kid. Yeah. Maybe time magazines like, Oh, like who they're out on the mission with us. Cause it was like extra secure and he goes,

grabs a head and he said he dropped it. So he bent down, picked it up. It was like, like that, which I mean, fair. Yeah. up and they're like oh you have to like uh turn towards the camera he's like oh and they're like no make your face so he's like it's just telling you it's just telling you

if somebody says smile for the camera, you're going to be like, ah. Yeah, this is a 19, 20-year-old kid, maybe. Who's actively developing PTSD to some degree at this moment. Who has been in war fighting for months. And they're like, go police that hood. A year at this point. Like, we've done war. So, like, all our emotions are very done at this point.

And we're not used to being around cameras. This is like one of the first times we're actually like a camera crew, especially Rolling Stones is with us. So they took some photos. We didn't know any of this. We found out when he got demoted and the time magazine, our Rolling Stones article came out And then we were sent it. And Osbourne like this.

Holding a head. You're telling me that media and journalists don't tell the fucking truth? Wow. What? That's crazy. I'm glad we solved that problem. Bro, and it said like in the article. He got demoted.

Like he got fucking torn up for this. And it was bullshit. And it, all of a sudden it was like soldier laughs at plays with dead man's head or something like that. Like you can Google this. If you're a journalist, I'm glad your entire industry is dying and you deserve this because at this

point you guys are nothing but shitty influencers and you're not even good at your job. Yeah. You're being replaced by us. Yeah. If you could do anything guys out there, bully journalists. Although the guys who wrote the good articles about me, you're all right. You're being replaced by us. Yeah. If you could do anything, guys out there, bully journalists. Although the guys

who wrote the good articles about me, you're all right. You're all right. If you're a good journalist, if you're not a lying piece of shit, fuck the Daily Beast.

Bully journalists at any point you can. Bully all of them. They're all like typing. Except the ones I like. Except the ones I follow on Twitter.

I mean, it's the only reason I started my YouTube channel, man. Yeah. To bully journalists because you're all fucking liars. And for the most part, that's the first time we say, and this is 2008.

So you don't have to apologize. I got to watch it firsthand. Watch a dude get busted down and rank. He went from like an E four to an E one. If I remember right. Jesus. Like they fucking took me. Wow.

Yeah. Yeah. It was instant like boom busting rank he's in because he was in the rolling stones and you can google it if you like it's like two just fucking soldier holds head bread basket or something like that it's going to pop up osborne phenomenal human didn't deserve that and again we've been doing war up to this point for almost 14 fucking months we were desensitized to all that shit and when you're like smile i don't fucking know you're not gonna be like why am i smiling i'm holding your head

what rolling rolling stone you're 20 you don't know what the fuck's going on some asshole with a camera is like smile and i haven't been doing war for 14 months. Click, boom, ruined dude's career if he stayed in. Like, would have fucked him over. But got his number. Thankfully, I got to reconnect with that dude. He's like, dude, we need to grab a drink. Got his number. I was like, fuck yeah, dude.

That was an actual cool event. These guys got to see how surprised I was. Now I'm just mad about journalism. I just tried to look for it and I've just found like a bunch of different photos of decapitated heads and shit. So that's not going anywhere. You got to talk for a second.

The nightmare of Burke failed. But no, that shows the problem with journalism nowadays because like it has changed significantly. Well, I mean, it's the same shit, but it's just a different era. Because back then they were just trying to sell magazines. They were trying to sell whatever the fuck they can. Nowadays, in the age of Because back then they were just trying to sell magazines. They were trying to sell whatever the fuck they can. Nowadays, in the age of the internet, they're just trying to sell clicks.

Because the clicks and the ads that are on the sides is what pays their fucking bills. So they don't care about telling the truth. They care about getting you to click on a fucking headline. Yep. Yep. That's why I said they're nothing but shitty influencers. Yep. Yep.

It's all clickbait. It's all clickbait. It's all clickbait. No substance. What are we doing, Nick? Just doing it better. If you think my fucking, if you think our, like, clickbaity-ish titles are bad, you should actually read their articles after their fucking headlines. It's the most out of context. Well, I mean, what was the, uh, what was the recent Tony Gonzalez ad?

What's your favorite state, Brandon? Oh, my God. That was fucking hilarious. Holy shit. So Tony clipped, and G-Band now has to put his fucking... Sorry. Oh, God. Oh, no.

Bro. Because they were like, do that. He was like, ah. Yeah. At least he's wearing his gloves. Yeah. PSI. Because he didn't know.

They were like, just like... They were like, they're like pose with it. And they're like, smile. And you can tell by his hands. This is the most awkward force picture I've ever looked at in my entire life. He's just like this. And that's, I've never held a human head like that before. So I don't, I just don't think I would do it like that. And then that's my dot climb filter.

I know that's my voice. Eli Ward. Jesus. But no, talking about the new Tony attack about the California bit. Like that was so fucking funny. He literally clipped me because we were making a joke about how shitty California is, how much we all fucking hate California.

We're like, oh, but we like the weather because objectively, like California weather is fucking great. Like the beaches and everything. Very nice. And I made a joke about how like, oh, yeah, well, California. This is a joke. My favorite text right now. My favorite state in the country country if everybody who if everybody who

lived there didn't and he literally clipped that two seconds or just california is my favorite like it i i was blown away because i literally watched that episode on the plane just kind of watching back and like seeing how it landed and thinking like that would be really funny if tony fucking clipped that like there's no way. And he fucking did it. Dude, that's like the... Literally, just like, I think everybody in my voting demographic is fucking stupid, and I'm going to take advantage of it right now, is all that was. Wait, wait, they just clipped it.

Everybody in my fucking voting... Yeah, whatever. Yeah, put Brandon's face on my head right there. Dude, what fucking absolute retard do you have working for your fucking social media, dude? I can't wait till some dude writes it. I'm a huge Brandon fan, and that's why I was running his campaign into the ground on purpose. Oh, there's a new one? New Tony?

New Tony just dropped. New Tony dropped? Dude, that new Tony fire just dropped. What do we got? Yo, what's that fucking fire album? Read it, Brandon. East Coaster, Brandon Herrera is a little lost.

What? Who fucking does this shit? Wait, on El Paso, Fort Stockton, Eagle Pass, San Antonio. There's a map of showing how far away all the cities are from... Oh, and the new thing that we found. I won't talk about that yet. what there's a map of showing how far away all the cities are from that is the

oh and the new thing that we found and i won't talk about that is the worst oh is that for me in the community notes probably oh i wonder who spread that around say that what we probably shouldn't say that you're in the community notes oh i already have oh have you already have everybody knows fuck it i'm in the community notes and it's my new life mission to make sure that everybody knows that his name is Ernest Anthony Gonzalez II aka Tony Gonzalez and he was registered to vote in the state of Florida

as early as 2016 and you can go to the Florida state registry and verify that for yourself but apparently he's not qualified because he was registered to vote in North Carolina Ernest goes to Washington Ernest doesn't get. Ernest scares stupid. Ernest doesn't get to go to D.C. anymore.

People are not allowed to move. You have to be born here. That's the only way politics works. God. And my favorite part, though, is how he kept shitting on me. He's like, Brandon Rivera says

East Coasters helped build Texas. I'm like, that's objectively fucking true. Sam Houston, the first and third president of Texas, fucking born in Virginia. Davy Crockett, born in Tennessee. true. Same Houston, the first and third president of Texas, fucking born in Virginia. Davy Crockett, born in Tennessee. The guy who fucking commanded the Alamo was a fucking East coaster.

Are you fucking kidding me? Texas was founded by Texans, even though Texans didn't exist until after Texas was founded. Therefore, that's logically fucking impossible. When Captain America was born here in America, they just put up that flag. It was like,

he's American. Now it's the only time that's ever that flag and was like, it's America now. It's the only time that's ever happened. You're like, you fucking, God, I hate, ooh, I guess, I don't know how you deal with anything. Just watching how bad, and then how, like, they just manipulate each little thing.

I'm like, this is why I don't do fucking politics in the slightest form. It's hilarious having somebody spend a million and a half dollars slandering you. This is where your fucking money went. If you donated that dude, one bit, like hundreds of thousands of dollars went to write that retarded ass tweet. You know what the funniest thing about this is too,

though? If Brandon somehow loses, we're going to go back to doing this. Forever. Forever. If you meet me, you don't get to walk away from this. You got two more years of this shit, dude. Now we're just going to your rallies. I'm just going to open up a can of Alex Stein on him.

I'm making a to open up a can of Alex Stein on him. Oh, God. I'm making a community note right now. Tony Gonzalez eats corn the long way. I don't know. This is what's funny. This is what happens when you fight an internet candidate, an internet savvy candidate, and you don't know how to do the internet. I would have told like my favorite comment i think i said it before is it's like one of the top comments i think the dude that

runs the channel hates tony and it's his own team i just recently said like when we were on the flight back like i hope tony gets his money i genuinely hope he gets his money back from whatever firm is running his twitter account because jesus christ after one i would like bro like fucking let's just not let's actually be nice to brain let's see how that goes i'm trying to dopamine like the the dopamine mouse in the maze kind of shit like the press on the button sort of thing it's like i'm not going to ratio him into the dirt if he doesn't try to attack me but every time he does it's like no, no, I'm going to make your life very difficult. The most annoying part to me is the fact that he has like his official,

his official Twitter, which has a silver check Mark because he's a politician. Yeah. And then he has another Twitter that's verified and blue, but that's team Tony and the team Tony one that isn't actually him, but paid by him is the one that only slanders Brandon. And then his other one is just like positive and neutral about everything. Well he changed the name of it.

I know. Yeah. Yeah. So he has two Twitters now. One just for slandering you. It was Tony Gonzalez and then he changed it to Team Tony when he decided to dedicate it to slandering me. It would be a fucking shame if somebody that was good at the internet made a Team Brandon Twitter. Yeah I don't know. That would be weird.

That would suck man. Homelander running it with fucking Homelander 2. Let's light this candle. Let's fucking light this candle. Who can talk better shit, me or Tony's intern? And I went,

oh, buddy, I want to do a GoFundMe for whoever is running Tony's Twitter for fucking psychiatry bills therapy I just like politicians learning new things I fucking I don't we

don't do pot and I glad it's we're not even talking about politics because there's nothing it's just about bullying I'm so happy with like hey I can live with it look corrupt politicians who make shitty votes deserve to be bullied a little. Oh, yeah. That's bipartisan.

Oh, so good. It's such a wonderful time in human history where, like, a bunch of veterans who have been, I don't know, I don't want to say wronged, but, like, you know, treated shittily before. They've been wronged. Yeah. Yeah. We get to get together on the Internet and just bully the politicians that fucked us all up. I just want to know when they type that first one. Like, watch this, guys. I'm going to fucking out and banter. And then me and you and Nick

are like, oh. The fuck did you say? That fucking meme of like, I'm going to send this tweet. Wow, that's a lot of comments. The funniest one I saw was he posted it. It was I saw it like the second it got. It was up for like seconds. And the first comment was somebody with a fucking meme of Ned Stark.

You know, the winter is coming meme. But it had fucking Cody on it. It's a donut. Donut is coming. I joked about that on the live shows. Like, if you play Helldivers, like, Cody's like my

stratagem on Twitter. I was like, oh, wow, shit. Tony posted. Cody land. Hi, everyone. The 11th most influential man on Twitter. Oh, my God.

And all this could have been avoided just by voting like an actual conservative. Who'd have thunk it? Who'd have thunk it? I would have just been nice to you if I was like your opponent. I'm like, let's look at their strengths the internet okay we're not fucking with that one let's be kind to them let's praise them and just let's win everyone with kindness kill them with kindness he chose violence and he chose violence against the wrong fucking community could it could have just literally met with me and said hey i fucked up in the past i voted wrong here's here's my promise for you i'm gonna vote this way from now on and i

probably would have considered it i probably would have like i would have backed down instead you let's try to bully brandon on the internet let's go fuck with sharks and water and really the first one let's do it when uh he's making it on a fucking episode where we just left a veteran sewer slide panel. Let's double down on that one. With all the work that we've done for veteran charities and all of our fucking history, like most of the people at that table are fucking veterans. All the shit we did, like that's really where you want to attack us? So one time I was like, oh, oh, Eli hung. Like Eli hated it. I was like, Oh, Oh, Eli hung. Eli hate.

I was like, okay, I'm not a fan anymore. Yeah. Remain neutral right up until you fuck with my boy on that shit. I'm like, Oh my God. Brandon Herrera bullied Donald Trump's minor son when he said,

and I quote, he is pretty tall. What? That's the funniest shit. Like really? I wish I was that tall dude the worst that was said was just he was a cryptid like and that was me Canyon I didn't say any of that shit

you're like yeah he's kind of tall and I quote I love Cody at breakfast this morning looking at the picture of the new Tony tweet at the time where he's in his his white uniform. And you're like, oh, we would have bullied this guy. Another Navy vet. Sorry, Master Chief. I'm just dude.

I can just tell he was the type of fucking like the type of person that everyone hated around him while he was in the military. Yeah, that's what, everyone knows one of those guys. When you have that in the military, it is one of those dudes that's like, fuck it, I can name quite a few. Yeah, you're just like, ah, shit. Sarn H, that's not giving, thankfully he wasn't my Sarn, he was one of my buddy's sergeants and that dude was just hated he was the one I think I told the story when he went to breach a

house dumbass used the shotgun got two or did he pulled back so one of the rounds just barely ricocheted and it hit him in the leg and he like fell to the ground he's like oh I've been hit oh I've been hit and then Doc runs up to check him He's like, oh, I've been hit. Oh, I've been hit. And then Doc runs up to check him.

He's like, don't save the morphine for someone else, Doc. And Doc looked at him. He's like, yeah, I wasn't going to use it. It's a fucking grace. You're fine. Get the fuck up, Doc. He didn't break the pants. Yeah, it was like barely nothing.

Oh, he was the sergeant that made everyone his only his only his squad would have to stay from 9 a.m till 5 p.m every day in the day room and read military manuals god yeah that guy that guy fucking that's the yeah that guy yeah and we no one else in the entire company other than him and he was like because I want my soldiers squared away. Also, because you don't want to go home because you have no fucking friends or a wife or anyone in your life. He should run for Congress. He probably is. That dude.

But that's Tony. Yeah. Yeah. No, that's the type of dude he is. And well, realistically, and that's the type of dude he is. Well, realistically, that's the one thing I will never talk shit about. I'll never talk shit about Tony's military service. I will.

You know, I respect that. It's like you respect the rank. You know, that's one of those. He did serve his country. However, his votes are what I have the fucking problem with. And that's the only place I've ever attacked him, genuinely. I've never paid to attack him anywhere except for the bad votes he's made. And that's the way politics should be you didn't you didn't touch foot in combat and you sent troops to more combat go fuck yourself you piece of shit yeah i'll attack him fuck you

like i got your back me and eli and nicholson attack you all day long you fucking asshole you didn't do war and then you send people to war, go fuck yourself. I tried to take the high road, and then the veterans at the table disagreed. No. Next article is going to be like, Brandon's friends don't like me. You can keep your rules of engagement. We're playing a different game. They didn't sell phones.

I was just thinking, like, my consultant's's gonna be really happy with this episode We didn't really talk politics at all. No that last 20 minutes. We went fucking I will see you gentlemen in the fucking headline I'll see you in the capital for democracy I'll see you in the mailer. Hopefully I have a bigger cowboy hat this time, man. Oh, no cattle.

Brandon. Demo roasted you on the podcast. Oh no. Apparently. Uh, I don't know if it was a County or the city had like some long horns that they didn't want anymore. And they're like,

Hey, you have all this land. Do you want these five long horns? And he's like, yeah, I'll take them. And he's like, yeah, unlike Brandonon i'm not all hat no cattle i'm i'm i'm ball cap and some cattle that's fantastic some ball capping all ball cap and some cattle

i need to fucking i that's what, we said we need to do. Like, especially now that, uh, he's got those longhorns. I want to go out there with the cartoonishly big, like fucking. It's like,

fuck you. Do that with you. Riding a fucking longhorn is the best photo in the goddamn world. Or you're walking it with the fucking, the sun setting behind you, but turd first. Just walk it. I will gallagher. I have an idea.

Yeah. All those photos. Oh my God. You send those meddlers out. Just. Yep. All hat, all cattle. Yep.

Oh, fuck yeah Jesus Christ I'm fucking in heaven right now they don't know how to fight a guy who knows self deprecating humor and it's hilarious Eminem from 8 mile there's nothing you can say that's gonna hurt me I put everything on the internet

that's why I love the thing they're like he doesn't even live in Texas like motherfucker I put my entire life online like I have years backlogging me moving to texas why i did it and why i'm here and when i did it i got it i think on that note we're at hour 40 yeah fucking cody that was dude we gotta play catch up we gotta chat we gotta just hang out we barely do these yeah just just the boys just the boys just get a hang catching up for a little bit because they are harder episodes because we spend all the time with each other and we get all our chatting out throughout the day and it's like

now sit down and have that exact same conversation over and over and over you're like what i forget okay let's talk about the fucking live shows, and then we're good. Thank you guys for coming to the Unsubscribe podcast. I am joined today by Eli DoubleFap, the fat electrician, Brandon Herrera, and myself, Donut Operator. Thank you so much. Check out the Patreon at the end of this, because there's going to be about 10 more minutes of content. Love you guys. Black bang out.

They'll see you sexy YouTube mother lovers. You won't know my