Unsubscribe Podcast - 156 - Habitually Fat & Angry ft. The Fat Electrician AngryCops & Habitual Linecrosser | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 156
Episode Date: April 29, 2024You guys have been requesting this one - Fat & Angry has now been upgraded to HABITUALLY FAT & ANGRY!!! Featuring the legendary trio @the_fat_electrician @AngryCops & @habitual_linecrosser .... Grab the limited edition Autism Awareness Month shirts and support Autism charities! https://www.bunkerbranding.com/pages/unsubscribe-podcast JOIN THE PATREON! (NO AFTERSHOW THIS WEEK) https://www.patreon.com/UnsubscribePodcast FREE TO USE MEDIA: (please tag us when you post!) https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1uppmQHMGf8uI2OuOatp932e3S2VGy0PE ------------------------------ THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS! ADAM & EVE Go to https://www.adamandeve.com and use code UNSUB for 50% off + Free shipping + Rush Processing! PURIDY DEBT Get a free debt analysis right now at https://PDSDebt.com/unsub MANSCAPED Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with code UNSUB at https://manscaped.com ------------------------------ FOLLOW ANGRYCOPS https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCN3rhkHmloHwqgat8LHk2yg https://angry-cops.com/ https://twitter.com/AngryCops https://www.instagram.com/angrycops FOLLOW HABITUAL LINECROSSER https://www.youtube.com/@habitual_linecrosser https://www.tiktok.com/@habitual_linecrosser https://www.instagram.com/habitual_line_crosser BUY US A DRINK! https://cash.app/$unsubscribepodcast https://venmo.com/u/unsubscribepodcast https://paypal.me/UnsubscribePodcast ------------------------------ UNSUB MERCH: https://www.bunkerbranding.com/pages/unsubscribe-podcast COMMUNITY SUBREDDIT: https://www.reddit.com/r/UNSUBSCRIBEpodcast/ CHECK OUT: https://outofregz.com/ CODE: UNSUB ------------------------------ WHERE TO LISTEN Spotify https://spoti.fi/2Ye8YOU Apple Podcasts https://apple.co/3cbqY4k Amazon https://amzn.to/2YbzQia Google Play https://bit.ly/2YcWmaD Stitcher https://bit.ly/3cbnY8o MORE LINKS! https://linktr.ee/UnsubscribePodCast ------------------------------ FOLLOW THE HOSTS: Eli_Doubletap https://www.instagram.com/eli_doubletap/ https://www.twitch.tv/Eli_Doubletap https://x.com/Eli_Doubletap https://www.youtube.com/c/EliDoubletap Brandon Herrera https://www.youtube.com/@BrandonHerrera https://x.com/TheAKGuy https://www.instagram.com/realbrandonherrera Donut Operator https://www.youtube.com/@DonutOperator https://x.com/DonutOperator https://www.instagram.com/donutoperator The Fat Electrician https://www.youtube.com/@the_fat_electrician https://thefatelectrician.com/ https://www.instagram.com/the_fat_electrician https://www.tiktok.com/@the_fat_electrician ------------------------------ Edited by GVAN https://www.twitch.tv/gvan11b https://www.instagram.com/gvan11b/ https://twitter.com/GVAN_CC unsubscribe pod podcast episode ep unsub funny comedy military army comedian texas podcasts #podcast #comedy #funnypodcast #military history Chapters: 0:00 A Message From Eli 1:02 Welcome To Unsub 3:44 Rich Failed SWAT Tryouts 7:22 Range Day Aftermath 9:31 Dune 2 & Boomers 12:04 20th Group Controversy 16:18 Vasectomies 17:34 Rich’s Jewish Accent 21:38 German Vasectomies 24:16 AD 25:15 Unsub Live Shows 35:08 Rich’s New Superpower 37:00 AD 38:05 Our Favorite Aircrafts 45:34 Neil Degrasse Tyson 49:08 AD 50:22 The Hellfire Missile 53:54 The Japanese Bombs & World War 2 1:00:39 How America Won Vietnam 1:05:51 Afghanistan & Iraq 1:12:35 Elon Musk 1:15:27 Tyler Grey 1:16:35 Plane Nerds 1:20:56 Our Military Deployments 1:22:44 Russia 1:23:55 The Lone Japanese Soldier 1:26:42 Leon Is Here! 1:28:32 Habitual’s Upcoming Content 1:29:11 The Fake Basic Training Controversy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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I'm gonna make you feel guilty!
So you hear a doctor who's holding your s*** in his hand
ask for a smaller scalpel.
I'm poor and Mexican.
You yell at overpaid teenagers and grown s*** men
and pretend like you're hard.
You're not big enough and there's not enough of you.
I need a punchline!
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are loved. You are cared for. And thank you for this amazing community that you have all built and we
get to be part of welcome to the new number one trending episode habitually fat and angry oh yes
that's the title that is a title oh man that is a good title. I'm so excited for this one. Oh, yeah, Nick.
You want to?
Well, three.
Hold on.
I got to get a little bit.
I'm doing a double here.
Okay.
Ready?
Got it.
Three, two, one.
It's been hours since I drank.
I still just can't get behind white clothes, man.
Just, I mean, they're just, they're okay.
You can't stand behind them.
You stand in front of them, brother.
Okay?
You ready?
Will you take a bullet for the white car?
It takes a bullet for you, man.
There's no laws with the clothes.
Fucking Christ.
Nick, fucking start this bee off hi everyone welcome to the unsubscribed
podcast i'm joined here today by my co-host mr eli double fap my dear friend ethan mr habitual
line crosser and my bestest friend mr angry cops richard hi we both have sunburns and our boy
fat electrician nick i work here off. I like the friendship.
It's like my business, just business partner, friend, my best friend.
No, he was his best friend.
I know.
That's what I'm saying.
I'm going down this way.
My best friend.
We're besties.
Rich, angry, jolly.
Let's tell you about my best friend.
Fuck this guy.
We get drunk together.
So we've had, it's been a time.
Nick, it's 10.54 in the morning.
It's fine.
It's like we're tailgating.
We're good.
Yeah.
I've never done that.
It's like we're getting ready for a Bills game.
We're going to lose at 1 o'clock in the afternoon,
but we're going to be too drunk to care.
Losing has never been so fun.
Boys, how are you doing?
Did you have fun at range day?
I did.
I had a blast at range day.
You know what?
Because everyone who watches these videos is immediately like they notice every last little detail.
Like before you guys said you were sunburned, I guarantee someone watching is like, they're sunburned.
But they're going to notice this mark on my neck.
And I assure you, no, it was not Nick giving me a hickey.
It was much cooler than that
it was me shouldering in a suppressed m60 as a lefty and it was just throwing brass at my neck
anyone that's done like drills where you're firing drills and you're standing next to your buddy
we would go home with just burn marks on our necks because it'd be it'd fling into the flak
jackets and we'd be like dude fuck you tossing that shit out everyone's just burnt
I found a couple of them in the little chest rig
that I was wearing I was like I was
getting some fucking lunch and there was like brass
and I was like oh that's okay fucking alright that was in there
I failed my first SWAT tryout
because we were all in line
and we're like shooting you have to do it at like a certain
speed you know you only have a certain amount of time
to fire off a certain number of rounds
and you have to remember how many rounds you
fired off and what you've got left. And I'm sitting
there shooting and the guy
next to me just flew hot brass down my neck
and I was like,
and I was like,
how many bullets did I shoot?
Oh no!
And I went, I think I have
one more. Pow! Lockback.
No! No! Nobody else has a lockback! They're like, Rich, you threw the round when you And I went, I think I have one more. Pow, lock back. No, no.
Nobody else has said lock back.
They're like, Rich, you threw the round when you got the brass down your neck,
and then you shot an extra one there.
So you failed by like one point.
And I was like, oh.
I'm never going to be cool one more year.
How long is that like qualification process for SWAT?
Or like how much time SWAT or what?
Like how much time did that cost you?
Well, the next time they did SWAT trials was four years later.
Fuck.
Oh my God.
And then I didn't do it.
I was like, I had too much going on.
I had to do, you know, this weird podcast that my friend was starting up.
It has since grown significantly.
And first time I heard that.
So, yeah, not this one. No, it's actually, it's actually about turning roadkill into, you
know, five star delicious meals. I really thought you were gonna be like Joe Rogan.
Maybe you've heard of it. Me and the talking thumb. You got this. God, I was so pissed.
How'd you kick an extra round off
no so like i went to shoot the brass hit my neck and i was like ah and i and i and i hit the round
and then i stopped and i just like ah and I and I and I hit the round and then
I stopped and I just like kind of you know gained control of myself again so that round was on paper
but off target and then I that was it like I was like okay you can't shoot anymore but I lost track
of the number of bolts that I fired and they're like hey this iteration of fire is five rounds
and five seconds at 25 meters and so you know I'm like sitting there I'm like should I shoot four or five oh no oh shit well I want to I mean
if you're gonna fail I'd rather be an extra bullet than not taking the the
shot and then being like why don't you take that shot rich my own so I fired
and I went to lock back everybody else was not at lock back and because the
next iteration of fire was you know fire five
rounds you fire the first one and then emergency magazine change and they were just like i was
like pow whack and i was like oh no and the the SWAT instructor behind me was just like
well rich you're already unloaded why don't you just go ahead and holster and walk to the back
of the range because you failed and i was like like, damn it. Damn it. Shit. Fuck. Shit.
So,
yeah, no special treatment, you know.
Not even for an internet celebrity.
Have you seen my YouTube plaque?
Yeah. You're like, but this?
And they're like, we don't care.
They're like, Rich, you're really annoying. None of us like your shit.
We're actually really happy that you failed.
But a show, a hot show
went down. My shirt.
Yeah, you're joining SWAT. You're gonna
get shot at. Of all the ways
to go out. I didn't shoot
an old lady. I just missed
the guy by that much and then I fired an
extra round to make sure he was down because I missed
him by that much. That makes sense to me.
Yeah. They were like, no, not here.
It's America. We don't run out of bullets. What are you talking about?
I know, right? I have more. Like, it's fine. They're like, no, not here. It's America. We don't run out of bullets. What are you talking about? I know.
I have more.
It's like, it's fine.
They're in my pocket.
Oh man.
And then you guys, how late did you stay out?
Uh, I only stayed out.
It's like nine 30.
I'm an old person, man. I'm just, yeah.
Yeah.
My guy, Nick.
Yeah.
I get, I get a text
at like 2.40
You guys gonna be up in 10?
You're a bad old man
I saw you like you responded to something
in the group chat that we have
and I was like why is Eli up?
He left the bar 4 hours ago
I was like
cause I took a nap right before going
to the bar so I was like, because I took a nap right before going to the bar.
So I was like, shit.
I was like in and out of sleep.
Woke up, checked my phone.
I was like, and then got a text.
Yeah, go to bed, old man.
I'm still at the bar and I'm worried about you being the one ready for the podcast in the morning.
Come on.
I was up.
I did it.
You did it.
We're here.
We're here. I can't tell you how many times we've
been like we're gonna we're gonna do one more podcast right before you go on your flight
that this is the first time it's ever happened we're not doing mimosas right now with the boys
yeah everybody else is getting like blitzed at brunch right now and Casey from nice that no
from our brunch location. Yeah,
he stayed up and closed the bar
down with Casey go hard.
Oh, yeah, you know our server. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, Casey was there. Casey Casey
would not shut the fuck up. Oh my god.
He got bit by the
gab bug and it
because he was like, oh, that's
cool, man. and then somebody else
would talk to me
and I'd be like
so yo
you want to talk to me too
that's nice
let's have a go
and I'm just looking over
every couple minutes
he's like
hey Richard
how are you
he's still talking to me
I'm like
bro I haven't paid attention
to you for two minutes
like I'm literally
talking to this person
right here
and you're just like
hey
bro you're zooted
dude he's cool
I love him
but like he's kind of got a raspy voice normally.
Yeah.
Bro, at three in the morning, he sounded like fucking Boomhauer.
I knew some of those words.
Yes.
It sounds like the Dune song.
I got to watch Dune 2.
You got to watch it yet?
No, no, no.
It's only been in theaters for like a week but I really wanna watch it
I saw the first one
and I'll be honest with you
like so for me
because I'm half fucking deaf
we watched it at home
it must be built
for theaters or something
cause like
I had to sit there
with the remote
and they would be talking
and I'd have to turn it up
cause I couldn't hear
a fucking word they were saying
and then like
a scene would change
and they'd hit the music
and like blow my fucking speakers
so I'd have to turn it back down
like the music
and the voices were just so far apart from each other i was like i can't do this man
my grandparents used to have a headset for the television so
who you need that you don't mean to show you how to work the vcr
get me a fucking life alert and fuck you you had to hit input in order to switch to the vcr
oh god yeah all the there's like two remotes and they get lost you're like why isn't the in order to switch to the VCR. Oh, God.
There's like two remotes and they get lost.
They're like, why isn't the TV turning on the internet?
The greatest generation ever can't figure out how to turn from cable to VCR to DVD.
Oh, God.
I don't know how to install it.
It's literally color-coded.
It's red, white, yellow power.
Yeah, Grandpa. It's just like the 40s.
The whites stay together, the reds stay together,
the yellows stay together.
You know what I mean?
Your wife closed her eyes and said, Oh, man.
Your wife was like, oh, shit.
You know what I said?
I want to talk to you.
I want to talk to you.
You know what I said?
Something worse.
Dude, when you hear stuff like that, it's just so out of the i was at um reynolds army health clinic
on fort still and there was this old timer he's in like his fucking 90s right like he's just
ancient and i'm sitting there i'm in uniform we're on a federal installation this just reminded me of
this and i was getting some meds and this dude sitting next to me and his wife uh she had gone
back there she you know i had a little walker or whatever she's you know between the ages of 80 and death she's ancient and um that's the spectrum yeah
that's the spectrum so he starts talking to me about you know what he used to do and i was like
oh so you know when were you and he goes i was i was here on fort sale back before they ruined it
and i was like what do you mean they ruined it he goes they used to keep them colored on the far
side of the and i'm just like i have no idea what to do. I like, do I hit this man? You'll kill him.
I'm like, fuck.
And I'm just like, thank you for your service.
I just sat there and smiled and nodded.
I was like, thanks, appreciate it.
It was the weirdest shit, man.
He just slowly gets close to you and just goes, oh, that's mad.
You have to put on your...
And you're like, oh, that's so weird.
That's so weird.
You have to grab the hand just creeping on you. You're like oh i feel weird just creeping on you you're like he sees like an ss tattoo on the inside of his finger
okay dude did you guys see the 20th group oh yeah there's an investigation now they just
what the fuck listen i get it they had cool uniforms we can't use that shit anymore man what happened a
sf guy at a 20th group hey you know the like they they had the high speed fucking helmets
yeah the ones we have he had and it's got the velcro on the back he had a he had a fucking
patch and it's a palm tree with a skull well that logo is the uh the logo of Rommel's guys in North Africa from World War II.
Did he know it?
Well, it was the death skull.
He does now.
It was like the Nazi skull.
Yeah.
Oh, are we the baddies?
Yes, exactly.
Are we the baddies?
We have skulls and crossbones, and we keep killing all of these innocent people.
Are we the baddies?
I don't get the reference on me.
Oh, we'll show you.
It's a good show.
It's a great show.
It's a really good show.
It's like Germans during World War II recognizing.
He's like looking at their uniforms.
He's like, hold on.
Are we the baddies?
Yeah.
Because it's like SS.
Oh, my God.
The crossbones, the skulls.
White.
Fuck. It's a really good beat.
But yeah, 20th group posted it on their like Facebook account, right?
Yeah.
So.
Oh God.
So it's a photo of two SF guys.
One SF guy, like you said.
I think it was like a recruiting photo.
It was like join the best or something like that.
Oh.
And it happened to be two whites.
Oh no.
Something about purity in the 20th special forces group.
On the plus side, at least they'll stop talking about the commercial with the girl that had two dads.
So at least they got something new to bitch about out there.
It wasn't a skull.
It was a straight up swastika and a palm tree.
Okay.
Well, that was the original patch of Rommel.
But the patch or that was the original.
So Rommel's original logo was a bent black palm tree with a swastika in the center on the trunk.
What the guy was wearing was the same bent black palm tree.
Yes.
And it had the skull and crossbones on it that were the synonymous with the Nazi party.
He's just first group.
He's like,
my,
I really like,
man,
I'm from Hawaii and love palm trees.
But if we put a skull,
it looked really cool. But he made it himself. He's proud. Or he I really like, man, I'm from Hawaii and love palm trees. But if we put a skull, it'd look really cool.
But he made it himself.
He's proud.
Or he just Googled palm trees.
He's like, oh, that's really dope.
Put it on his head.
And now he's like, oh, he's racist.
He wanted to make a morale patch.
And then it's just like accidentally, you know, that.
Oh, man.
He's like, I need a scone crossbones
oh this one looks really cool and oddly familiar
you think it was like on a higher
shelf like when he grabbed it
oh my fucking god
Jesus Christ
45 degree angle shelf
oh my
not up here
a little
a little bro I so speaking of that she's probably gonna get mad that i tell this so my wife she recently had
an infection on her right arm and so she didn't like the blankets would rub against it while like
while she was sleeping so she'd sleep with her hand outside the blankets and put on a sock on
her hand because a glove went down too far and would hit her her uh infection and i came
in one day and i almost pissed a fucking kidney laughing because i look over and she's laying in
the bed doing like the full-on 45 degrees i was just like yeah it was the weirdest shit oh man
yeah i thought you're gonna say you made her masturbate you while she was unconscious
you're like let me see that mitten hand baby let me see that mitten hand What happens when you hate it when your wife falls asleep with your cum sock on your head?
It's stuck to the wall grown much that the cum sock? Is that it? Yeah, you heard it.
That's what it was used for.
Was it YouTube?
Of course.
It was your first video here.
That's what it was.
It was their first time on Unsubscribed, and they did the sock thing with the infection.
And then they left it.
Do the sock thing.
They did the sock thing.
And they left the cum sock against the wall, And then that's what King Trout found.
You know, there's no bullets in the gun, so it couldn't be me.
You know, I got the old.
You still you still put out the sticky stuff, though.
You don't just put up powders.
Not why we don't tell people that we know how dicks work.
Yeah, I've been working with mine for 36 years.
I'm pretty sure I know it'll go off.
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How do you pee?
Um, well...
Is it like a pee store there?
Yeah, it's all stored in there.
Pee stored in the balls.
Yeah, stored in the balls.
Everyone knows that.
That's where pee is stored. Bro, I don't know what you guys i want to go to germany and get get uh their version of
a vasectomy it's way cooler america like cuts it and cauterizes both ends yeah germany has it
looks like a fucking jelly cut it and loop it and i thought they cut it and cauterize it they cut it
well my my guy cut it knotted it and cauterize it they cut it well my cut it
not it and cauterized it so like there's and there's like a gap there now like
there's there's no growing back are you saying that Germany is better ads
claiming of the genetic materials from
themselves oh yeah tell me more which is no offender superpowers. He can make anything racist. That's true. He just lands it.
I'm gonna make you feel guilty.
He just starts rallies. A bunch of different
rallies.
Dude, I just had
a phone call with a
sponsor, a potential sponsor.
And they're
located in Israel. And they
had some Palestinian jokes
that they were not afraid of saying to me
over the Zoom call,
and I was like, wow.
Tell me how you really feel, boys.
When I see Rich, it's like, whoa.
Oh, ha.
Yeah.
Every time G-Van has to edit one of these,
he's like, Rich, fuck.
My rate just doubled, all right?
They're like, we like your friends on their gun channel.
I don't know how to do a Jewish accent. If you like your friends
in the gun channel, there you go. There we go.
It's very nice. We have all the guns here, too.
The Palestinians don't like it.
And I was like, whoa, wait.
I don't know how to do this accent.
Nails accent. I know. It's perfect.
That's an American New York, like,
you know, sitting joke. That's like Mel Brooks to a T, and now
I need to learn that. Fuck.
It's not fair. It's German.
It's not fair where he lives.
He just holds his ear to the ground to hear it.
Yeah, he's like, what the heck is that?
I'm like...
They're below us.
It's like Trevor's, but juice.
Get away!
No!
I'm not kosher!
Oh man, if my career wasn't
already, it fucking is now.
I'm not kosher.
They're pounding.
There's just a Jewish guy
just comes up from his round
whoa
you have to
ride
you have to
latch on
and ride
fuck
if Dune was real
there'd be just
a thousand Texans
out there
I'm gonna run
before I run
okay man
we're gonna do
a room room
rodeo today
if Dune was real
Texas would be
located in the
Middle East
that's for a damn fact that's how we rodeo today. If Dune was real, Texas would be located in the Middle East. That's for a damn funny show.
That's how we solve racism. We have
Jewish Dune and Texans
riding on the back of Jews.
Through the sand, everybody gets
along. Everybody's high on spice.
It's a desert, so the Arabs love it.
We're bringing Christianity,
Judaism,
and Islam all together.
Sand Dunes.
Jew riding.
If you're going...
It is the final
test.
It's the
ancient Jew. It's the biggest Jew.
I can hear him coming.
Is it hot out here?
Get ready.
Why is there so much sand in all the rivers?
Oh, my God.
There's an Arab woman in the background.
There's nothing I can do the rest of this podcast to top that.
I'm glad you're still active, dude.
I'm like your congressman.
Fuck, man. I'm going to get back. This thing thing's gonna air as the general wants to speak to you like fuck well i'm just gonna walk in he's just starting
to need paperwork i'm so sorry the funny part is he might does the funniest shit i've ever seen
it really was like here's a coin
do it great dude before we jump back on your German story
of the German balls
I have met some high ranking people
in the military and every time
they retire they'll message me
and be like dude I love your stuff
and I'm like why didn't you message me when you were still in
you know what trouble I get in
you could have my back in public and peel off me a fuckload
you're a really nice
sergeant major tell them right now You could have my back in public and peel off me a fuckload. You're a really nice soccer major.
Tell them right now.
Tell them.
Tell them.
No.
They're nice people.
I can't wait to do a video on Rich.
That's going to be hilarious.
Oh, man.
What do you mean?
You can't do a video on me.
We're talking about the most retarded social media icon and then was jailed oh dude i'm telling i'm
telling all the stories i'm telling every every donut operator breakdown i'm telling you fucking
up swat oh that all of it the ballad it's gonna be a ballad of angry cops oh man it'll be so good
so anyway what happened with your uh your german no it's like uh it's like reich privileges
it looks like a little jelly belly and it like opens like a clamshell and they just
cut your nutsack open and it clamps around the vast Efren and it's got a little tiny
toggle switch on it and you, and it like, it crimps it off and then you can unswitch
it and just open them up.
So you can like literally like we're firing blanks or we're going hot at any time.
Is it like a silencer?
Like you just go down and reach it and you click the switch?
And you're like, wait, there's an actual switch you can switch?
Yes. Can we attach it to a
clapper? The user can literally
grab your nutsack, stretch it out like a
fucking bat wing and just fucking
safe. Wait, hold on.
What did it sound like again?
And that's the sound of pregnancy
kids.
It's awesome.
Forget if it's off or on
I need an x-ray now to figure out which position the switch is in
which is stupid
that's like one of those sensory toys
all day
and then like
wait
what position is it
exactly
is that on or off
click click click
then you get to play baby roulette that's what you get to fucking do
dangerous game that's yeah why don't we do it like that that makes way more sense
said they're american we're just like as you said yeah bro so i'm telling you when i went in there
so i i was nervous as shit because you're awake for the whole procedure but i have very low
tolerance for narcotics so i was like hey can you guys i'm in stirrups. Like I'm fucking having, you know, a child.
And there's a doctor between my legs.
He's got a nurse with him.
And I'm like, it's cold in here.
Don't look at it.
It's kind of chilly.
But anyways, and I was like, hey, can you give me something to take, you know, the edge off?
I'm a little bit nervous.
And they pumped me full of something.
And I was in fucking la-la land.
Like I love making jokes.
When I rolled out, I think I called my wife a penis pincushion.
It was great.
I was like, I can put it anywhere now.
Nothing will happen.
You can always put it anywhere but you don't have a choice i went i went from like out of it to straight like i i snapped out of it immediately because
you have no idea how fragile your masculinity is until you hear a doctor who's holding your
nuts in his hand ask for a smaller scalpel. I snapped right out of it. What?
I don't remember any part of the procedure, but I remember
that vividly. Don't worry, buddy. It's not
about the beans. It's about the frank.
Well, I don't got that either.
It may not be long, but at least it's thin.
I hope you're always rising the positive.
I'm going to give you PTSD
with a number two pencil, baby.
At least you'll never hurt your wife.
I can't.
I can't do it.
Death by a thousand cuts.
I don't like the big ones.
They hurt.
Oh, fuck.
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Bam!
Let's go ahead.
Oh yeah, Rich,
you fucking,
also,
just shout out to you
for crushing the live shows, dog.
If you didn't go see
the live shows,
I don't even think
you're a fan.
You didn't see his ass
or his balls because the live shows didn't.
Nobody saw my balls.
I talked to them all up front.
And I may have mooned a crowd.
Maybe.
Maybe.
Right out of the gate.
Right out of the gate.
And I didn't know until after the show because in the picture I'm like, ah, ah, looking at the audience.
You look like you're presenting me.
Like it was a plan.
I'm standing up on a chair mooning the crowd and you're there just in front of me i'm like yeah you can't see me i'm in the peripherals
and you're like hey here he is afterwards i'm in the crowd when and then the pictures came up was
like yep did not even know you were doing that that explains a lot it's great did a lot of leg
work for i did brandon and cody and me here he's
oh i thought you might like as you're calling my legs
i was like hell yeah you do man thanks for telling me no we're like we're all kind of nervous and
it's like oh shit this is this is the first show and then we go up like people are cheering and
we're like we we just sit down rich first thing he does hops on a chair shows his ass
to the fucking crowd it's like well i can't fuck this up now because he's already done it can only
go uphill from here for me so i got rid of all the stress it was awesome two things were gonna
happen i was gonna i planned on it i was either gonna fall intentionally and create a scene and
moon everybody and make like a big slapstick moment ass out for unsub is that what we're doing
there's another t-shirt fucking there you go and the other one was i'm just gonna if if we get out
there and they're not loud enough i'm just gonna'm just going to jump up on a chair and moon them real quick.
Cause it was St. Patrick's day and I was wearing a kilt with no underwear as, as traditional.
Yes.
And so I was, as I was walking up, I was like, if you trip and you don't, you don't cup your
junk, right.
You're going to flash them some dick.
And that is a little too far.
So there's children in the audience.
I think it was, I think it was like a 13 year old i think somebody
brought a baby oh jesus and i was like that's a great thing come on let's go see these fucking
degenerates we got pictures with them we signed the baby yeah billiam young billiam fucking christ
i need to be part of this i i i'm going to the next one whether i'm on it or just in the fucking
crowd that one was houston yeah houston is where we signed the baby. And then Dallas is when I think it was like super refined at that point.
I took like four.
The first one, if you had fun in San Antonio, like nailed it.
You covered down so hard.
It was awesome to see everyone.
And then everyone got like relaxed.
It was just everyone's laughing.
The audience cheers at everything, which is amazing.
I wish Cody was here because I have a bone to pick with him for how Dallas went.
I knew this was coming.
Yeah, you knew it was coming.
Right when he did it, I went, yes.
Fuck this.
You requested
beforehand.
Do it this way because, okay.
I tried, trust me.
I was like, who do we have?
You didn't do shit.
What the fuck did I miss? Okay, I tried. I was like, who do we have in these? You didn't do shit. You didn't do shit. What the fuck did I miss?
No, okay.
I tried.
I fucking tried.
So here's the deal, right?
If you're doing a live show and you have a headliner, let's say it's a normal comedy act.
You get a headliner, right?
You've got some of the guys that started off.
They get progressively funny, progressively more well-known.
And then you have the head guy that's the headliner at the end.
And everybody's excited so if you're introducing people like we did well like don't i did to a
panel you would go with like the i don't want to say lower ranking person but the person that's
less known and then crescendo up to the person that's most well-known because what you don't
want to happen is you don't want somebody to be like oh here's jesus yay
and then you're like oh and here's jerry from the 7-eleven and people are like
so i tell i tell you i told you and i know you heard me we told cody how to start the
fucking episode he fucked up hi everyone four times he was so that's how he starts the show for 150 fucking
episodes and then that he was like we had so the person that so when we go to dallas the two people
that were joining the unsubscribed podcast were myself and meat canyon meat canyon who has
like 34 employees he's got two channels with like 10 million people on it he is a piece
of pop culture because of the bugs bunny double wide surprise like people everywhere know him or
they know of his work so i'm like hey guys call me out and then as you know for the piece de
resistance the last person coming out as a super surprise call out meat cannon and he'll get in a
roaring applause and it'll the the crowd will go up you know like a like a nice bell curve it's gonna go
up and sure as i'm behind the curtain with meat canyon with hunter and donut goes well yeah we've
got a couple of guys meat canyon and meat canyon goes and me and Kenny goes fucker fucker
cause of course the car's like
holy shit
and I'm sitting there because as of
as a professional I'm like
you fucked me you asshole
and as a friend I'm like that's funny as shit cause you
fucked me you asshole
I was dying
and then Cody gave it a pause. That's why I was like,
an angry cop.
I was like, Cody's gonna like one walk
out, sit down, and then
it would have died.
And then like an angry cop.
It was like...
So I was like, I thought it was funny.
I was pissed off and happy at the same time.
It was brilliant. I loved it. It's like trolling your
friends. This is exactly what it is.
And so I was like, I'm not just gonna go sit down after brilliant. I loved it. It's like trolling your friends. This is exactly what it is. And so I was like,
I'm not just going to go sit down after that.
I'm going to own the fucking stage.
So I walk in front of everybody
just flexing and staring down the crowd
and being like,
I can't fucking hear you.
You know,
and Hulk Hogan pumping them up
because I'm like,
I'm not going to go out to a,
yeah,
oh,
the fucking dickhead.
You hammed it up so good that you came i had to ham it up because
you're a performer it's impressive yeah i know i know i just turned it on that was like you like
for san antonio your first show i was like and rich like that is the first person we're asking
to do any of this i was like that dude will carry it
and then we did chris and wes because they were like they're entertainers they're magicians and
they stage stage and everything yeah and they do crowd interaction because you like watching how
you interacted with the um the offender's power also a bit we kept the entire time because it
was fucking amazing it was a great bit that's that's how we close out each show but it was also why we started doing more crowd interaction throughout the shows it was like
oh i'm okay rich is always coming with us no matter i was hitting on people in the crowd
do yes non-people in the crowd and they'd be like um like what's your superpower they'd be like i
want to i raised my temperature uh two degrees and i was like okay so
you got covid that's stupid that's the stupidest shit i've ever heard did you ever raise your hand
again and then i would go over the next person and i'd be like how i know what your power is to
have a better haircut get out of here and then and then i'd go to the next one dude some guy had a
horrible bowl cut i don't know there was a blind asian woman that was like i'll take care of you
butchered his hair.
The PX haircut.
Oh, he's so good. There was a girl that had some sort of respiratory issue.
She was hooked up to oxygen.
And I came over to her husband.
And I was like, wow, really took her breath away, huh?
And just, dude, I was cracking jokes about her not being able to breathe.
Like, I'm going to be the no end.
And just, yeah, it was fun.
That's what you all missed out on.
It was fun.
It was, oh, so dialed in at the end.
I had a blast.
All the guys got addicted to it, too.
It was, oh, this is, oh.
Then Dallas, afterwards, everyone's hugging.
They're like, we got to do more.
We got to fucking do more.
My phrase for, like, before San Antonio, before the first show,
while everybody's like, man, I'm kind of nervous.
And I hope this goes well.
All right, I think we're ready.
And I'm just sitting there like pacing around like shittery.
I'm like, dude, I'm jazzed.
I'm so jazzed right now.
And everybody would be like, how you doing?
I'm like, I'm jazzed.
I'm jazzed.
I was like, we're good.
I was like, what are you going to do before?
And he's like, I'm going to just walk and work the crowd before for like an hour and a half.
They're getting like a three-hour set because Rich is like walking around.
Yeah, how are you doing?
Da-da-da-da-da-da.
I was like, okay, my boy's good.
This is a good choice.
Yeah, I get turned on by crowd work.
Ooh, dude, you fucking slayed.
It was really, it was really, you missed out.
If you didn't show up, you really missed out.
You guys do Dallas again.
Dallas is like three hours away from me.
I'll come on down there and check it out. Oh, we're definitely doing
that. And then Nick got in the flow of just like
today we're talking about. Yeah, I got
better at doing live history. That was
rough at first. Well, because it's
weird because they cheer at every punchline and then
I started doing history and everybody's like quiet
and I'm like, oh, fuck, they hate it. I need a punchline.
But they're like,
yeah,
it's what every high school teacher would cream to have.
Just that audience and everybody just 5 million people listening.
Shut up, shut up, shut up.
Stop fucking talking.
I'm learning.
Tell me more about Ching Chong.
What was his name?
Ching Lee?
Ching Lee.
Ching Lee.
I hate it.
He's a white guy. John made it more racist.
He's a white guy.
He's a white guy.
And that's okay.
That's fine.
Before I even knew anything about it, he's like, yeah, Ching Lee.
And I was like, you're doing Chinese history now?
That was the first thing that popped in my fucking head. Yeah, just weeb from Kentucky.
Fuck.
The white dude that lived in a different time.
Yeah.
His nicknames were slightly altered he lived in the
vcr times what's the offset for your new superpower of being able to make anything racist
oh oh um what is the offset this i mean that is that of itself is an offensive superpower
like i can turn everything well basically all i am is woke really honestly all i am is vice
news that's really all i am cheeseburgers and how they promote white supremacy like
that's pretty much every vice article he always has a karen haircut with purple i need to speak
to your manager why were these people of color set before me? Holy fuck. They should have been because of my privilege.
This is wonderful.
I don't know how to feel.
I'm in awe right now.
Like, wow, this is fucking...
You're like, oh, God, fuck.
I'm having fun right now,
but I know I'm going to be standing on someone's carpet
at the position of attention.
It was funny.
Like, I don't care who he is.
It was fucking hilarious.
They were good jokes.
They were solid.
I'll tell you exactly what's going to happen.
You're going to have your 05, and he's going to be like,
okay, hey, hey, listen, here's the deal.
You didn't say anything wrong.
Okay, okay, but you got to be careful with the company that you keep.
I understand you're in a room.
There's a lot of moving parts.
Oh, moving parts is such an officer.
That one, holy shit.
Well, I mean, I don't really have an 05
because I work at an NCO only place.
So they might just find it funny.
I'm at an NCO Academy.
Find Habitual Line Crosser on ncosonly.com.
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Okay, so before uh
this fucking amazing episode sorry we're talking about planes oh fuck yes what'd you what'd you
find out about planes who had the coolest planes so i was well yesterday arranged i was walking
around asking everybody like what is your your favorite aircraft and uh shout out to to my buddy
rich here because uh we we definitely fucked that up because we both thought that a Chinook was a
UH. I looked it up. It's a CH.
Because I'm retarded. Yeah, we're both dumb.
It's alright. That's why I never made it to
college school. The Chinook is
a staple in the army.
Like it's, I mean, that thing, it does what it needs to do.
You can pull howitzers with it.
You can drop MREs on people
or whatever. You can do a lot of shit with it. Shut up.
I'm making an MREs on forehead shirt. That's gonna be hilarious it'll be like the fucked up tv
12 minutes occurred you're not gonna see it
um you had the oh what was the one that the propeller broke the sound 900 times
the thunder screech um and then the the what is it grandpa gaming he's
fucking he's so nice man i love that guy he's such a cool dude uh he had the f-101 voodoo which i've
never even fucking heard of so i need to dig into that one that's how you know he's old but a lot
of people went with like the 737 and the 787 were just like popping jokes about different things uh falling out of like like doors falling
off and fucking you don't know if it's gonna land or it's gonna make it there all the way like i
think someone did the 737 super the one that was having all the the flight issues and was just
nosediving for a couple years and they had to like park them so a lot of civilian airliner but yeah
the you were the only one that had like a real, well, you and fucking Grandpa Gaming
were just way out there.
And now I got to do homework on your fucking aircraft because I got to find a picture of
it and put it on there.
It's fucking funny.
The Thunder Screech.
Oh, it was the one you did the video on?
Yeah.
I remember seeing the video.
What is the Thunder Screech?
In the Cold War, they tried to have a prop driven plane that could break the sound barrier.
That's hilarious.
So it's like it's spent, obviously it's spent super fucking fast.
They spend. sound barrier that's hilarious like it's spent obviously it's been super fucking fast they spin and uh it hit it like just hit the sweet spot where when it was like accelerating the propellers
because the tips are traveling further than the base the tips would break the sound barrier but
then it would be pulled out of the sound barrier by the rest of the blade that wasn't breaking the
sound barrier so it was constantly going in and out in and out in and out in and out loudest
fucking thing it was 900 sonic booms per second that it was generating.
You could hear it from 30 miles away.
It was like, it was hearing damage from 30 miles away.
That's fucking nuts.
Like, there were towns 50 miles away
complaining to the government,
like, what the fuck are you guys doing?
Nothing, nothing.
Nothing.
Boom, boom, boom, boom.
Just flying through the air. Test pilots, period, are fucking crazy but the ones during the cold war are insane right
they got two test pilots to fly this thing the first guy got in flew it once got out and told
the chain of command you're not big enough and there's not enough of you to get me back in that fucking plane fire me refuse to do it the fucking ground crew almost had a casualty like one dude had to get
hospitalized just from the concussions that this thing was given off when they started it not
service-related no not at all and that maybe hearing loss that's it oh what's that it's a
secret oh it's a secret plane that you were trying right okay speaking of fucking hearing loss man i don't understand because so the army and the va i
guess just changed it where hearing loss is no longer fucking counted and when i went to do like
my hearing after afghanistan they're like well didn't didn't you get issued the ear pro and i
was like yeah like i couldn't be like time out taliban i gotta protect my fucking hearing you
like you return fire get covered then you like, I can't hear shit anyways.
Yeah.
No,
I was,
so I don't understand why it's not service connected.
It drives me insane.
They just don't pay because it was expensive.
But did you hear,
did you hear you'll like this?
Cause the sonic boom,
they've designed an aircraft.
The,
I think it was skunk works.
Might've been skunk works.
Probably has designed an aircraft.
It looks like a dart and it goes supersonic,
goes past the sound barrier
without creating a sonic boom just came out how can you do that i have no fucking idea i love
science magic they these are the same guys that are designing it's in theory right now a supersonic
underwater fucking um supersonic underwater underwater drone using a process called super
cavitation where they create an air pocket in front of it and it fucking goes through the water at supersonic speed super cavitation i've actually heard of that but
not with um like with bullets and like and like fired rounds not a crash yeah yeah not a shit the
two problems they run into with it is one you can't fucking turn and number two they don't make
a propeller fast enough to to do that so it has to be rocket powered underwater because rockets create their own air and burn their own air.
That's why rocket motors working out of space.
We could do that.
So like, God bless America.
We're just like, let me see.
We've done fucking knife missile.
Now we can break the sound barrier without making a sonic boom.
Underwater supersonic drone.
Do you want to do that?
What's a knife missile?
Knife missile is the shredder.
Flying against it?
No.
Well, maybe.
Maybe. Refresh my memory.. Well, maybe. Maybe.
So refresh my memory.
Let me tell you a story.
Did you finish your story with the sonic boom killer?
Oh, yeah.
You said one guy got injured with the boom.
Oh, yeah.
The second guy, he flew it like 12 times or some shit and had to crash land it like nine
fucking times.
Intentionally.
He's like, I'm going to do this for Jerry.
He quit.
I shouldn't be in this thing.
Yeah.
Eventually they ditched it.
I still think they should like bring it back and just have somebody fucking fly it around just to annoy the enemy.
Just fly it over a third world country just real low.
That's a really good show of force.
Somebody's just exploding in the air but staying together.
The Taliban just thinks that Allah is coming.
And right back to the VCR.
Here we go.
That's just their name for God. It's not racist. and right back to the vcr here we go there are very few things that you can be certain of in life but you can always be sure the sun will rise each morning you can bet your bottom dollar that you'll always need air to breathe and water
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I'm using their words. if you want to go down a funny rabbit hole look up because you know like uh
like whenever they drop a bomb or whenever they get an air-to-air kill or whatever they put like
a little sticker by their cockpit where they get in look up some of the funnier versions of the
stickers on there because there's like legit fighter jet pilots and shit that have cows
on their shit like there's there's dudes that have confirmed kills on like cows because they
went they were flying low and like went broke the broke the sound barrier and just murked a cow.
And they're like, yep, putting on the sound barrier.
There's one guy that has a Winnebago because it fucking...
Supersonic boom.
Like some Winnebago was on a road they were not supposed to be on on a military base.
And this guy's like, fuck it.
Went supersonic or broke the sound barrier right over the top.
Just ripped the fucking Winnebago in half.
That's nuts.
That's fucking nuts.
There's all kinds of funny shit.
Speaking of sound, I don't know why.
My brain put this to memory.
I don't even know how you would ever do this.
But apparently, according to theoretical physicists, if you create something that is 1100 decibels,
which is louder than anything that has ever existed ever.
152 to 168 is like a gunshot.
Just for reference.
1100 decibels.
You can rip space and time and create a black hole.
I don't know why.
My brain put that to memory for fucking ever.
I thought black holes weren't even real anymore.
No, they're real still.
Yeah, they're real.
No, dark matter.
Is it dark matter?
Dark matter might not be real.
They just can't.
Is Pluto a planet right now?
I forget.
No, it's not.
Right now it's an extraterrestrial body that identifies an extraterrestrial body. Yeah, the most it goes around the sun it doesn't have a moon it is not a
moon it is a planet like what are we doing here we don't know because they're like but because you
have the orc cloud the orc cloud is i it might touch the orc cloud that's why they confuse it
so they treat it more of a comet and that is why it's like listen i'm gonna say something controversial neil gross tyson is an asshole oh dude he can lick my taint i got your back on that
one right yeah arrogant prick i'm really smart just because i say big words and i talk in circles
oh ah take a breath dude
now move on to bill nye fuck Oh, Bill Nye let me down.
His little comeback episode special.
Garbage.
Neil deGrasse Tyson, he goes
hard on some stuff and then just
He goes hard on the dumbest shit.
He's a contrarian about everything.
I literally
watched somebody
say, I love
Apple products.
iPhones are the best, except Google Maps is way better than Apple Maps.
And the autographs person proceeded to fucking argue that Apple Maps was better, which it isn't.
Everybody knows that.
There's not a single person that's used both that thinks that.
And he argued for fucking 10 minutes that Apple Maps is better for no fucking reason.
He talked about people's memory he was in i guess he was in court uh as a part of a
jury and some person like was trying to as defense attorneys often do they'll try to play this game
and i forget what the term is but they'll be like hey listen you know based on this study you know
a person's memory is only so uh precise for a certain amount of time and then it can be altered.
And Neil deGrasse Tyson brings it up because he's fucking smart.
So he has to bring up that point to the judge about like, well, I'm concerned about this person's memory because I'm so fucking smart.
And and the judge is like, oh, so what you're saying is this.
And her rendition of what he had stated was incorrect. And he goes, oh, so what you're saying is this. And her rendition of what he had stated was incorrect.
And he goes, oh, actually, you just proved my point.
Your memory is different than what actually happened and what I said.
And I'm like, no, no, shut the fuck up and stop ruining the justice system.
It's already broken.
You know, don't make the justice system Pluto.
He's just he's all arrogant about like,'s see now like his basically his arguing point was
everybody's memories fucked so you can't rely on eyewitness testimony everybody goes free
and is the stupidest it oh it's just dumb smart people that have never been robbed making dumb
you know i mean it's like every once i'm not saying crime is good but every once in a while
crime needs to happen to some moron so that they stop saying stupid shit about how, well, you know, I don't really like it that you arrest people in front of their children.
It's traumatizing.
They shouldn't have sold crack and shot at people two weeks ago.
I wouldn't be here with a warrant.
I don't think the kid's traumatized because I kicked in the door and arrested mom and dad.
They're traumatized because all the heroin addicts are fucking bringing in copper pipe
and dad's beating the shit out of them because they don't have any money to pay for the crack
that they bought.
I love this.
That was Neil deGrasse Tyson to that.
Just really.
It would be a privilege to be inside your brain, man.
Dude, Neil deGrasse Tyson is like the trickle-down economics of dumb.
It starts up here and then everybody he's like oh look at me
i'm on a fucking ivory pedestal i did stuff and so everything he says is smart to himself unless
you fucking listen to him and then you're like please please just go snort some more moon dust
and stay in your office looking at stars i'll listen to you for stars don't give me legal advice
that's why i like this friend group well like i'm good at like
three things otherwise i'm retarded and that guy's like i'm good at looking at stars i'm an expert in
fucking everything right it's really annoying cheers to you look at you you're a handsome man
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I'm going.
The knife missile.
We need to go back to that.
Oh, yeah.
I feel like I've heard about it.
I'll let you give a synopsis and then go ahead.
Go ahead.
Do your thing.
What about the Hellfire missile?
I'm familiar with the Hellfire.
I'm not really familiar with how it works.
I just know that it's a missile and it's really effective. Okay. Air to surface missile. Go ahead. I'm a really familiar with how it works. I just know that it's a missile. It's it's really effective
Air to surface missile usually launched from I mean Apaches. They're the primary source of it. They are laser guided
They can do heat and lock on and all sorts other shit
They can be you know do radar stuff too, but they travel it around mach one and they carry normally around a oh shit this one i don't know off the top of my head i want to say
it's 10 pounds of high explosive uh but they can carry like thermobaric and there's a couple
different versions of them but yeah uh missile go from aircraft to ground at about mach one and
kaboom okay so there you go now he's up uh america wanted a more precise version that didn't go boom
for taking out very specific people in crowded areas because i wonder if i have heard of this
taken out uh you know hiding in areas so it's a hellfire missile that they took
like five or six 24 inch fucking swords and instead of being full of TNT,
right as it is about to impact,
the swords flay out.
And it just smacks you with swords going Mach 1.
This is exactly what I saw.
Who did we take out with that?
That was when the... Not Al Bagdaddy.
It was before.
It was 2019.
It was a guy that was a head planner of 9-11.
Yeah, it was in 2019 in Kabul. It was on the road too like it was a because you can see the picture and like the
blades you can see that's the one on the road so he's looking at the car but we did we used it like
a year or two ago on the dude that planned 9-11 and he was living in a house and we found out
about it and every morning he would go out on his balcony to drink his coffee and just
it murked him on his balcony with this
fucking thing but here's here's the thing oh what about that just katanas let me see that this
reddit post says uh it's a very it's a hellfire extra variant made by the cia the cia didn't
fucking make it shut up it's fucking martin yeah we know that see here's the thing it i love it
it's a great idea and people that's how you can tell people
are used to america just doing weird shit because if any other country in the world had been like
knife missile we'd be like man those guys are fucking crazy but because it was americans they're
like okay that makes sense fucking but it's pointless i love it but it's pointless no it's
not you could have filled it with gummy bears and hitting somebody at mach one with 75 pounds
is still gonna fucking fucking kill them.
Yeah, but you need like this much just in case you miss.
Just to read it though, instead of an explosive warhead, the Hellfire missile deploys pop-out swords.
That's all you need right there.
The part that annoys me about this the most though is when you read about it on the internet,
people get all fucking mad about how cruel and inhumane America is when it's literally the fucking opposite.
There's not another entity on the planet that would spend hundreds of millions of dollars to develop a missile to
take out one fucking dude trying as hard as physically possible to not have like mass cash
yeah innocent people getting hurt and people still look at it like oh you guys are fucking
assholes i saw a meme that captures that shit perfectly it was uh it was like modern day and it shows okay we have the target which seat of the car is he in and then
it showed like 1944 it's like we're over the city bombs away i mean look at tokyo the tokyo fire
bombing you're like 100 000 people tokyo gone we don't have to nuke that anymore period they're
like okay we're good funny thing about funny thing Funny thing about Nuke in Japan is Hiroshima was like
a Christian city.
Was it? Yeah.
Hiroshima or Nagasaki, it was one, but it had
a large Christian population, and so
America was just like, you know what?
They're already going to heaven.
Let's just make it,
you know, we'll save them.
We're actually doing them a favor.
Instead of going for other Japanese people that might not see, you know, we'll save them. We'll save them. We're actually doing them a favor. Instead of like going for other Japanese people that might not see, you know, America as like a, you know, hey, okay, you know, we get along.
There's a similar religion there.
No, they're like, those are kind of our guys, but well, they're going to see Jesus.
And so they go towards the light.
You know, it's fucking crazy. Like, so if I went down to the Fort Sill training support facility and they got a flag from the guys who had been taken prisoner on Baton during the Baton death march, they built this flag after like they were getting liberated.
They like sewed it all together and shit and like stood at attention for the flag is the first time they've done it like four years.
Right.
But just think of the mentality.
So they fought for like six months cut off on the Baton Peninsula, fought like being crazy.
Like I challenge anyone to find any nation
that has ever fought that hard to like the bitter end and they only gave up because they were ordered
to and they ran out of ammunition so then they do the baton death march which is awful if you guys
have never read the book was it unbreakable don't watch the movie the movies but the book is
fucking atrocious what the japanese did to those guys. So that was 1941, right? 1941 that happened. They
go to all sorts of different POW camps. One of the
POW camps they go to is right outside
of this little known place called Hiroshima,
right? Small place, not
important, right? And so you're there
for four years, like you're getting,
I mean, just beat to shit. You're losing
people. You're being starved, like malnutrition,
malaria, all this shit. And then
one day you look up and you see a fucking atomic bomb go off at the city right next door and you're
like what did i miss in four fucking years like that'd just be that'd be such a mind fuck that
you'd like we were fighting with these old outdated world war one shit and now four years later
the sun just showed up over a fucking japanese city i can tell you exactly what i would do
i would i would be savvy would be there as a POW
and I'd see it explode
and then my Japanese prison
guy would be right there and I would go
Oh!
Oh!
Just a little
You're in trouble
holy fuck
something tells me that wasn't an ammunition
holy shit
it's funny
just looking over and the prison was like
it's funny because like
two days after that the Japanese guards
literally abandoned the POW camp
they just left they're like fuck this
I'm out.
You know what would be really kind of fucked up is America took the Japanese sword makers from that area and then made them make the blades to that Hellfire missile so they could put it in.
It's like it's a false story.
There's just guys that are like, ching, ching, ching.
And they're still doing it the old way,
folding steel.
They're like, this is amazing.
I'm made from steel.
And the CIA agent just goes, here, thank you very much.
And zoom.
Oh, what the fuck?
This will be passed down from generation after generation.
Do the entire ceremony.
General McArthur, I give you the sword. And General McArthur's like, I don't know what to do the entire ceremony. I give it to you.
I know.
I don't know what to do with this shit.
I need four more.
I know what I want your reaction to.
What's that?
It's like a trending thing on the internet right now with all the fucking.
Do you want to not just tell me and just do it right now?
Do you want to just show it to me?
I can't show you.
It's too much.
I just have to.
It's like hundreds of tweets.
It's a whole thing.
It's like it's a bit like a big talking point with like the super ultra communist fucking sympathizers that.
Japan did not surrender because of the nuclear bomb. They surrendered because the USSR attacked Manchuria around at the same time.
Where's Manchuria located?
Like the Japan. I'm not sure where Manchuria is. It's. Where's Manchuria located? Like
the Japan. I'm not sure where Manchuria is.
I've heard of their candidate.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Never.
Anyways. Isn't it northern Japan?
Like near fucking Korea or some shit?
I gave my woman my phone, so I
can't check. I think it's China. West Japan.
So the USSR attacked
not Japan Japan and Japan
said Japan was occupying
it at the time. Do you hear they finally have
some pictures? I haven't seen, I've seen like
one or two and I don't know how to there. Nanking.
That's what I heard. Oh, wasn't that? Yeah, they
like the Japanese were like cutting people up. We talked
about this, right? Oh yeah, like millions. Oh yeah,
that was on the G van. You're gonna have
to mute this, but the of Nanking is
what it's referred to. Yeah.
I mean that,
that entire thing.
If you read the story on that,
don't give me a unit.
I'm going to go on communist random.
Was China communist at that point or were they still,
they were in the middle of a civil war.
So they were kind of like our friend,
not our friend.
They were the enemy of our enemy was our friend type of deal.
Yeah.
It's really upsetting.
Japan came in and fucking.
Yeah.
I mean,
Japanese were like awful to anyone, even POWs.
Like if you read that book, I'll give you an example of that book, the fucking Unbreakable.
They were allowed like hardly any water and one golf ball size thing of rice.
That's what the POWs were allowed.
Japanese prisoners.
And if you were caught stealing anything, it was you were either beaten to death or like killed in many other creative ways.
So like a guy was caught stealing water because he was fucking dying of thirst.
And what they did is they shoved a garden hose down his throat,
filled up his stomach, and jumped on it like a water balloon.
Yeah.
Like the awful shit that the Japanese did is fucking wild, man.
In Japan, they don't teach it either.
They're like, we never did any of that.
It's America's fault, though.
It's not theirs.
They're just going with it.
Yeah, of course.
After World War II, there's literally an entire generation of historians right after World War II. it's it's america's fault though it's not theirs they're just going with it yeah of course after
after world war ii there's literally an entire generation of historians right after world war
ii they're literally called the revisionists and their entire fucking life goal was to make america
the bad guy in world war ii and that they didn't succeed because everybody still kind of universally
agrees like allied good guys right but it's bad guys right so like they didn't succeed at that
but what it did do was it it made it it played it off like japan was a victim that didn't deserve
um nuclear bombing or whatever and then that because of that that's why nobody knows about
how fucking horrific all the shit the japanese were doing is that's why that's not taught that's
why it's way lesser known and then that what that translated to is that's why every war after World War II, everybody thinks that America fucking lost or America was doing the wrong thing.
It's literally because of that.
It's an entire generation of historians whose entire ethos was America bad, and that was their whole fucking plan.
Every time someone brings up, you haven't won anything since World War II, I challenge you to find any time during Vietnam, the Iraq War, the Afghanistan War, where American
forces surrendered or retreated.
I challenge you. Best of luck to you.
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Nicholas, can you inform everybody
how we actually won Vietnam?
We won Vietnam.
He informed me of this.
Once upon a time.
Oh, this is going to be good.
December 18th, 1972.
The year of our Lord.
America is fighting in South Vietnam, and they're fighting guerrillas known as the Viet Cong,
and the guerrillas are being supplied by the North Vietnamese communists via the Ho Chi Minh trail. And America decides we're going to bomb the
communists in North Vietnam so that they can quit giving supplies to the Viet Cong. And that's going
to be the end of it. Now they launch a plan. They launch a mission called operation linebacker two.
And the plan is to bomb the North Vietnamese all day, every day with B-52s. Okay. I think those
were what? 180,000 pounds of ordinance piece uh 70 70
000 maybe that version was more but there's 70 000 okay so 70 000 a piece it's all day every day
for from december 18th till christmas affectionately known as the 12 days of christmas
is what they called this i would love to hear that song on the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me Holy f***ing Ding dong
Ding dong everywhere
Looks like I got a buff video
to make on the first day of Christmas
He's gonna f***ing talk about it
That's a really good one
Sam Kessler made how I won Vietnam
So this is 1972
The commies won't tell you it happened this way
but we know the truth
I was dropping payloads and panties.
Ceasefire over Christmas.
We send a transmission.
All right, you fuckers ready to come to the negotiating table yet?
Nah.
Dope.
Next day, 60 B-52s in the air at one fucking time.
Jesus, I love America.
That's more fucking planes than all but two other air forces on the planet
america sent to go bomb them at one fucking time bombed all of them before the 60th plane landed
back on an american airfield they had sent a transmission okay we're ready to talk so we have
the paris we have the paris peace accords i believe it was signed in march a couple months
later in march of 1943 the deal was the peace treaty that America forced
North Vietnam to sign was here's the deal. You're going to leave Laos and Cambodia and we're going
to leave Laos and Cambodia. Okay. You're not there. McVie SOG definitely isn't there racking up 158
to one kill ratio. Okay. We're both not there. Let's both not be there. That's part of the
fucking deal. Okay. The other part, you and South Vietnam are going to come to a peaceful resolution amongst
yourselves.
And North Vietnam said, okay.
And they signed the peace treaty that they were forced to sign by America.
How do you win a war?
By making someone give up and sign a peace treaty.
Oh, thank you, Rich.
Holy fuck.
Most people don't understand that.
Okay.
Now that's what fucking happened.
That's early 1973 and everybody goes, but what about fucking evacuating Vietnam in 1975? That
was literally the American embassy. That's it. Everybody freaks out. Like that's fucking America
pulling out the whole military. The military wasn't even fucking there. That was the American
embassy with 5,000 or less Americans between military contractors that were still cleaning up all the shit from the war they just had.
Diplomats, businessmen, Americans, all the people that were there. That's who we were evacuating.
Like America won the war, forced them to sign the peace treaty. And then three years later, the North Vietnamese came back and fought the South Vietnamese. And you're like, America lost. And here's the argument that historians say, because historians are like,
war isn't determined by the outcome. It's determined by what your intentions were when
you started and whether or not you achieved those and their argument. I'm not shitting.
This is the fucking college historian level fucking argument for America losing. America lost because their goal was to prevent the spread of communism.
And communism spread after they showed up and prevented it the whole fucking time.
Can you understand how fucking retarded that is?
Imagine that you're a firefighter.
Rich.
Imagine that you're a firefighter.
You get called to a house fire.
It's hard to pretend to be that gay.
Sorry.
You don't like the second responders?
We don't like fucking.
Let me secure the scene real quick.
Imagine that you're a cop.
Yeah.
Oh, I like those guys.
And you show up to a fight.
Small dicks, but they're effective.
You show up to a fight, and there's this big dude beating up a little dude, right?
And you show up, and you stop the big guy from beating up the little guy, and you beat
the fuck out of him until he says, okay, done and you're like cool i'm gonna go home now and then
three years later that guy beats up that guy again and you get a phone call saying that you didn't do
your job three years ago does that make any sense to anybody that's fucking retarded that's the best
you just that is the most simple way to fucking explain that
every fucking time because i'm like okay well if the goal can't ever change never otherwise
you're a failure nobody's ever won a war literally fucking ever because shit changes
eventually right it's just different different when America does it because the
fucking revisionist historians just want to be America fucking bad all the time. I hate it. I'm
so mad. That's, that's pretty. So that's the way I explain like Afghanistan to people. Cause I don't
know about Iraq, but I gave in Afghanistan, what we do is every year during the fighting seasons,
cause you guys all know they have fighting seasons in Afghanistan. They show up in the spring with a
bunch of fucking retards. They have, they have fucking recruited from Pakistanistan or uzbekistan pick a fucking stand they all go to the different
stands over there right so they come across the border they get their shit pushed in by uncle sam
every single time they get into a fight they run away like bitches because we just fucked them up
right they run back to pakistan they they fucking throw some more money at the next generation of
fucking idiots they come back the next year we kill all the dumb ones and we did this for 20
fucking years so like people like you lost in afghanistan it's like okay afghanistan is a house we're gonna treat
it like that i go to your house and i beat your ass but you start hiding and every day i'm in
your house just looking around for you and every time i find you i fuck you up and i do it for 20
years then finally i'm like this is boring i'm done with this and i leave home now and you just
i won because you didn't you didn't finish the job.
Like, what?
I can turn you to glass if I really felt like it.
Like, I could foundation your house in 10 minutes.
You just made the United States a burglar.
Hey, where are you?
The purse stands.
Oh, my God.
Keith Mack.
Your story is America illegally kicks in the door of their neighbor's house
and then beats the fuck out of their neighbor.
And the neighbor's like, I'm going to hide from you.
And you're like, yeah, you fucking better.
You're going to be in the show every two days.
That's a horrible analogy.
That's a horrible analogy.
The neighbor came out and threw a rock and broke our window.
Maybe the deadbolt kicked open the deadbolt.
That's the man.
I feel more like, I feel like the United States John Wicked Afghanistan.
Like, the Taliban did 9-11, which is basically killing our dog.
And we were like, no, no, not the puppy.
And then we went over to their house and we just, you know, did all the Russian stuff where're like i think i'm back you know but it's crazy when you look at the numbers so was it
little under 3 000 i think it's six less than 3 000 people died in 9 11 i think it's like 2 994
died in 9 11 but in afghanistan 20 years of fighting 2400 soldiers died it's like we you
killed more people on 9 11 than you did in 20 years of fighting us and you
want to tell everybody you fucking won okay we wish you the best in your future fucking the other
annoying part is it's like you can't even like win a war because there's no fucking official
government there to even sign a peace treaty like at least not one that not one that actually has
control of their shit so it's like you're not even fighting a imagine if america though if
america just did it where they won the war like fucking three, seven days later.
We're like, oh, we win.
And then we just pulled out instantly.
Can I say that?
That would be way more gangster.
It's like, boom, killed.
Okay, bye.
What do you think Desert Storm was?
You said it.
I think you said it in your video with Stormy Norman Schwarzkopf.
And I have known it for forever.
And I loved your talking point because it's absolutely true.
Stormy Norman Schwarzkopf was like, we're going to push past everybody and just take over Iraq as fast as we can because the politicians are going to fuck this up.
And then we took we fucking laid waste to Iraq in like what, 14 days.
The air raid was 30 days.
But the ground war, I think it was 100 hours was the ground fucking war. It was like super short. The ground war was like days, a couple days before they had all of the Iraq forces pinned and like separated completely.
Was it you that made a video about how we smoked all their tanks because they bunkered up their tanks?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
They fucked up.
Especially in the 90s because that's when like Abrams brand new, the T-78s, T-72s that they were using, outdated, antiquated.
And then they didn't have GPS.
That was 73 Easting, wasn't it?
Yeah.
73 Easting was a fucking turkey shoot.
They didn't know shit.
How many, we only lost, did we even lose a single Abram?
It was like one Abram.
Yeah, one got stuck in the mud because some private didn't know how to fucking.
In America, an Abram has never been lost in combat.
Like Abrams have been lost to IEDs, but that's it.
And then we use that fat how
many tanks they lost like a thousand yes all of them all of the i think it was like one battalion
it wasn't even abrams going like we had bradley's out there fucking shit that toe missile fucks man
i know fucks but i mean we still had like there's stories and like and full animated reenactments
where they interviewed the guys it's like two bradley's come up over a ridge and there's like there's like 30 fucking t-72s and they're like
we got four tow missiles let's fucking go they fucking take out like five fucking tanks somehow
and then dip it's fucking awesome it's it's nuts man like there's i've seen some of those
interviews from 73 easting those those guys in those Abrams. I think the only armored vehicle we lost in 73 Easting was to Friendly Fire, if I'm not mistaken.
What the fuck?
Yeah, look, they weren't doing it, so we kicked our own ass, okay?
Murder.
We wanted to fight.
What dude was just like, yeah, that's definitely not one of ours.
I can tell by the color.
That thing that looks nothing like the enemy tanks that we've been studying
yeah did they get one of ours one of ours we should definitely shoot at it just in case
rich you've met privates there's a funny saying and i enjoy saying it uh what's the difference
between a trash can and a tank there's only one dirt bag in a trash can.
Ouch.
Yeah, it's one of my favorite tanker slings.
I used to be a tanker.
You know that, right?
You little engineer.
Oh, fuck you.
Crunchies.
They make a nice crunch splat when you go underneath the tracks.
Airborne tanker.
Fucking no such thing.
Nope, nope, nope, nope.
It's when you hang your ass over the edge of the tank.
You take a shit.
Oh, man.
At Fort Knox, I was like standing at the edge.
Like there's the sponson box and the bustle rack.
I was right at the back corner. Oh, I know what the sponson box and the bustle rack are.
Have you ever heard of the Brussels sprout?
It's part of the expected for trillis.
And if you don't properly cut the epididymis, then you'll freak out the flambé.
I'm standing between the big cage on the back of the turret
and the little toolbox on the side of the turret.
Oh, that was hard.
Thanks.
I'm standing there, middle of the night, taking a piss.
Fucking Neil deGrasse Tyson over here.
I was using a big word.
I'm better than you because I know the words.
You can just say the box on the back.
You did it.
Oh, fuck you.
So I'm standing there taking a piss.
I was still in OSIT, and a dude snuck out right behind me.
It was on the tank, middle of the night,
and he snuck out and kicked me into my own piss
off the top of the fucking tank.
That's awesome.
Yeah, it was not a good experience.
That was probably the worst that I ever had.
You tried to flex big words on us to tell us a story
about how you got kicked into your
own piss.
Yeah, drill sorts of dicks, bro.
This is dumb as shit.
Tankers are cool. I got kicked in my own piss.
Fuck you.
You're really fighting for it.
Speaking of assholes that think they know everything, Elon Musk making it fucking trending
on the internet that tanks are obsolete and dumb is the second most most annoying thing on the internet to me when did this happen this was like a year ago but he's like ah tanks are
just they're dumb you could take them out with a javelin missile but tank warfare has changed a
lot i will tell you that like it's changed it's changed but they're not obsolete they do great
point security they do great open terrain in an urban environment enough anti-tank guided missile
teams are gonna fuck up a column of armor yes i agree because guided missiles have just got way better but open terrain you're never gonna be
able to fucking when you talk to these fucking idiots they're like oh they're just gonna pull
the javelin out of their back pocket like in the video game this thing weighs 80 fucking you know
how fucking hard it is to have the right two dudes that are trained in the right place at the right
time to shoot a fucking quarter of a million dollar missile
how much does a javelin weigh they're about 250 000 they're like quarter million dollars
uh i think with the clue they're right around 70 pounds 75 what's a clue the clue because i don't
have one right now the computer it's the little thing they look through the aimer yeah the little
aimer thing the ipad that aims it yes pretty much we wouldn't
even take the m80 like the the 50 cal sniper rifle on missions because it weighed too much
it's 48 pounds isn't it yeah we're like nah the thing weighs too fucking much to walk out for a
mile and set up an op we're like nah we're good no one's taking out javelins because you cannot
just stealthily do that when we take out at4s4s, one of the first things Sergeant Rainer would say,
just remember, these are lighter if we shoot them.
So that's how we start ambushes, always with an AT-4.
Well, also, I feel like that ka-thoom
is a good way to put people's heads down, too.
Well, you're not supposed to start an ambush with it.
The first time I saw one used in combat,
it was so lackluster. Because, well, yeah.
With a rocket?
You're doing an open leaf set with a rocket?
I mean, there's so many people that are disappointed that you don't know how to use iron sights.
Leaf set one at a vehicle.
Boom.
And then it goes, eh.
And then it hits the house behind the vehicle.
We're like, uh-oh.
Close enough.
Whoa.
Call out civil affairs.
They'll pay for it.
Yeah.
I've been there.
The first time I ever saw one fired though.
Like he hit the wall.
It was a wall.
It was like,
I don't know,
200 yards away from us across this open field,
hit the wall.
Like it was loud as shit.
Obviously.
Cause it's not,
everyone thinks it's like a,
like the movies like a,
no,
it's boom.
And then it's flying across the fucking the terrain.
And then it's boom. Whenever it hits there's, there's no swoosh and you can't see it move by. They're it's flying across the fucking the terrain. And then it's boom.
Whenever it hits, there's, there's no swoosh and you can't see it move by.
They're not slow, but he fired it.
It was my old squad leader.
Mattie fired this fucking thing.
It hit the wall and there was like nothing happened.
Like there was a little smoke behind it.
I was like, this is, this is fucking garbage.
By the time we bounded up there, I saw that it put a hole like this in the wall and the
wall behind it was fucking gone.
Like that's what it did.
I was like, Oh, that's what it did i was
like oh that makes perfect fucking sense i'm mad tyler gray isn't here for you to meet him
us us three did a podcast with him it's like one of the best podcasts we've ever done
he was uh delta boy delta and he's like like kind of being secretive at first and then he starts
opening up about some shit and he's like yeah we had these grenades that would like just collapse
a building on itself i was like that sounds like a thermal barrack explosion he's like yeah they're like
the size of a two liter it'll just fucking collapse the whole building and then oh and then he goes
cqb at4 and we're like and we all went excuse me i heard about the cqb at4 bro that's why
and he thought all of us would know what that is he's like yeah everyone use him like
i think i saw that episode or just like that little snippet,
where you're just like, yeah, we're just going room clearing with an AT-4.
Yeah, we use that all the time in normal combat.
I'm like, that dude?
Yeah, it's like you're Epididymis on the back of the Smishmorgasmorgas.
The Smishmorgasmorgas.
The Smishmorgasmorgas.
Your local Benjamin Moore retailer is more than a paint expert.
They're someone with paint in their soul.
A sixth sense honed over decades.
And if you have a question about paint, it's almost as if they can read your mind.
I sense you need a two-inch angle brush for the trim in your family room.
Regal selected an eggshell finish and directions to the post office.
Benjamin Moore paint
is only sold
at locally owned stores.
Benjamin Moore.
See the love.
You know,
you want me to start
using big missile words?
I can start using
big missile words.
I don't want to feel stupid
and make fun of you even more.
With the fucking plane thing?
Plane thing.
Because you do all
the plane videos and shit.
How annoying,
well,
I guess you don't try
to do like the history shit
too much.
Plane nerds are like trained is bro if you if you say if you're like this is an f18a they're like no it's not that's an f8a b27 i can tell because there's a dimple on the back and fin yeah there's
it's a block 20 insane yeah it's nuts so like i try and make jokes about the growler and i can't
find a picture of a fucking growler it's a it's f18 So like I try and make jokes about the growler and I can't find a picture of a
growler. It's a, it's a F 18. It's designed for cyber warfare and like jamming radars. It's the
scariest thing in the air, in my book. Like, cause I stare at those things through radar.
They're terrifying. And, uh, that thing, I can never find a fucking picture of it. So like,
I just have an F 18. And every time I make a video with the F 18, I have to be like,
I know this isn't a growler, but I'm making a growler joke. Like I have to do that because
my whole comment section is just just that's not a growler
like i fucking know and all the brits right now are laughing at the term growler because growler
is apparently a euphemism for um a clunge lady parts yeah harry axelman the worst comments though
are anytime i do a video on the ac-130 or the a-10 Warthog and I hate it. Every
fucking time without fail.
This is actually only useful if you have
air superiority. Cool.
We always do.
We name a kind we haven't, fuckface.
We invented planes, you fucking
moron. We invented
air superiority.
Literally.
We're just making up new words for it, too, because it was like
air superiority, then air supremacy, and now we're on
air dominance. The next one's like air omnipotence
or some shit. It's so fucking stupid. The air supremacy
sounded a little...
A little 20th Special Forces
group. That's what it sounded like.
What were the three again?
What's that? What were the three again?
Air supremacy,
or excuse me, air superiority. you notice how the middle one's like
yeah
that's what I'm saying
air supremacy
air dominance
so yeah
and then it's gonna be
air fucking
cleansing
I don't know
so I never
we're just gonna move on
but then like
we must do the air cleansing now
the A-10
I don't know who did it
the A-10 gets so much hate
from fucking internet nerds
because they're like
you know the A-10 has more friendly fires than any other plane that's why it's bad it's like
also hear me out maybe maybe go on it also has the most friendly fires because it's the only
plane that's designed to shoot people on the. Jesus. I wonder the amount of times that people have gone,
uh, danger close.
And they're like, alright.
Holy f***ing s***, you're dead on.
Keep doing that.
The guy's leg just hit me from 50 yards away.
Keep doing it.
That thing, we didn't know what those were.
Like, I didn't, I didn't know what they were
until the first time I literally saw one 400 yards away.
It hit this f***ing weird, some jackasses were shooting at us. And we're just like, cool. Yeah, we need close air we're some jackasses were shooting at us and we're just like yeah we need close there's open
terrain and they're just like we need close air support apparently everything in kandahar was
bored at that time so we got eight tens kaiwas and an apache so eight tens came through like
we got eight tens inbound i was like i don't know what the fuck that is and like i heard the
and the ground you could feel the ground vibrate from 400 yards away i was like what the fuck is
that that's depleted uranium and like you see trees blown in half and buildings collapse i was
like oh it was the coolest shit man props to the bad guys for fighting after that yeah no like they
were absolutely terrifying i'm like i gotta like that's the thing i hate the taliban but i do
admire their fighting spirit because they're outgunned, out-trained, out-equipped.
Like every measurable category, we beat them.
And they're still like, we got this, right?
We're fucking ready for it.
Let's do this shit.
That's like a five-year-old bouncing his forehead
off of a kitchen table too many times.
I'm proud of him because he kept doing it.
He's just too stupid.
Right? You're not wrong. You said it yourself it's just we go to pakistan we pick up all these idiots that are
poor and stupid they're like we can handle it and then they're like we can still handle it
oh my god yeah that's what the tailwind is it's a bunch of fucking five-year-olds with a bandage on their head
because they just keep hitting the kitchen table.
And mommy's too dumb to put a helmet on it.
No, you're doing a great job.
You're really brave with all those bruises on your sunken-in forehead.
You got a dent in your forehead, and people aren't calling you dumb.
They're calling you brave.
It's about consistency.
Bruce, did you play Afghan or Iraq?
Both of mine were in Iraq.
Both of them.
Yeah.
It's so disappointing because I really wanted to go fight the Taliban and I ended up just
like creating like the sinkhole for Iran to get more powerful.
I mean, we found the first ISIS kill house in Iraq in Mogadishu.
Like we didn't it was ISIS
We didn't know what that was
Because it did not exist or to us
We're just like oh it's just a kill house
This is a torture and slaughtering people
We don't know what this flag means
We don't know what this
Most nonchalant way ever of talking about a kill house
Yeah
Since we're on ISIS
Let's talk about what happened in Russia
was everyone excited
or upset about that
let's gauge the room
a little bit
so fast forward
we pushed like
loved that they cut off
that dude's ear
and fed it to him
unpopular opinion
you go after civilians
like that
let's see it
really set the standard
you know how to make
people not do that again
exactly what Russia's doing.
I know, hey, we're America, we're better than that,
we can't be torturing people, you know, whatever.
But at the same time,
you know, you put that shit up on YouTube
and everybody in the Russian government's like,
yes, we could have you either if you tried to kill our people.
We should show this, yes?
And everybody's just like, you just showed a guy
getting his ear cut off and people eating, and they're like,
please don't go and kill civilians.
Meet us face on.
Okay.
You know, Ukraine, we do not like, you know, but they do not kill civilians.
So we don't cut off their ear and feed them.
I feel like the whole world watched that.
It was just like, they deserve it.
But fuck, I don't.
Shit.
I don't know how to feel right now.
It's like beating up the guy that smacked your sister.
Yeah.
You're like, all right.
He doesn't, like, he earned it.
Yeah, he earned every bit of that.
They're not going to do it in a while.
No one's going to be like, ah, oh.
Can we talk about, I saw the video of them walking through the mall and firing.
And one of the guys, AKs, immediately was firing.
He was shooting sparks.
It looks like he was shooting dragons' breath.
It was dirty ammo.
So if you're shooting a lot of
russian ammo wolf ammo or anything like that especially how they build it when you have steel
casings it's extremely dirty and it will can shoot god fireballs because of how they make their rounds
cheap shitty shit just having fireballs i'm talking about fireballs i'm talking about
sparks that shot out like 15 20 feet from the barrel they look like a dragon's breath shotgun
yeah you can find them on Reddit.
No, that's what I mean.
Like, shit ammo, if you have like trash ammo.
It's just like, it's becoming basically frangible in the barrel.
And it's just, it's like burning out and like shooting specks.
He was firing into a crowd of like 10 people huddled in a corner.
I thought it was a shotgun.
And none of them were going down.
They were still moving and being like, oh God, which is terrifying.
You think it fucking shredded the rounds?
I think so.
Yeah.
That's fucking nuts, man. They probably had like a samurai torch, you know, two God, which is terrifying. You think it shredded the rounds? I think so. That's fucking nuts, man.
They probably had like a samurai torch,
two samurai swords in the barrel.
They're like, it's going to make it
four bullets, man. It's going to make four bullets.
I saw the US do it
with a missile so it could work for us.
Oh my God. Unpopular opinion about
assholes, just real quick, because we talked
about this. I've been sitting on it.
You've been sitting on your asshole, absolutely talking about the um the japanese right so there's just
like one story or i think there's a couple of them but i have one sticks out in my mind
and there was this japanese soldier that was on an island and he stayed there forever and they
found him like 20 years later and he was like in a tanner uniform and they were like we're so proud
of you you stood your ground you were like you were a piece of shit japanese soldier that's that cool you're out there killing all these like innocent people
in china that's not a dude to be celebrated philippines his name was uh i think it was
hero ota was his name yeah he killed like 29 or 30 innocent filipino civilians over the time
yeah so this dude was so loyal to the cause because they were like, hey, only your commander can come and say it's over.
Everything.
They had his wife.
They thought the commander turned.
He did.
And then his own wife came out.
His wife and his brother flew to the Philippines and were like out in the woods with megaphones.
He's like, not buying it.
Please don't kill any more innocent civilians it's been a 40 years
speaking of assholes that's my favorite quote ever don't don't Trump don't trust
the China
my god every time that you talk about communism, I always think of...
Trust communism.
Trust communism.
It's the best.
That man lives in my brain rent-free.
Good.
Oh, there it is.
It should be the unburnt powder firing up as it's leaving the barrel.
That is why the sparks are bigger on trash cheap ammo.
Speaking of communism, did you see my new shirt?
It's in my merch store. No. I have a shirt in my merch store that says i heart communism
oh yeah go on how much is that shirt it costs 999.99 and it only comes in size small
why does it only come in small because they hungry hungry i hope someone buys that fucking shirt i wish that i can make a shirt uh
with uh shea rivera in it yes that's exactly it that's exactly what it looked like when they were
shooting into the people powder igniting with shea rivera and just and have just have it laced
with like dumb sayings about how socialism is horrible.
I do.
I remember being in high school and seeing people wear Che Guevara shirts. I was like, you know, that guy killed gays.
Like he just lined them up.
He thought they were subhuman.
That's the funny thing.
It's like stupid high school kids are like, I'd like to not have to work for a living.
This shirt's cool.
And it's like, you would actually fucking hate that guy.
Like he is not a good dude at all.
It's not even close. It's fucking insane to me. No, that's why dude at all. It's not even close.
It's fucking insane to me.
No, that's why
I mean, look at
any new wave.
It's like, as you say,
communism.
Leon, can you grab me
a white claw?
Hey, it's a boy, Leon.
Just kidding, man.
Leon, did you want
to come say hi
while the Mitchell White
Crosser takes a shit?
It's a boy, a beautiful boy.
This is our friend,
Mr. Leon Lush.
Say hello.
Good to see you guys.
How you doing?
I do have an Uber
outside waiting,
so I'm just going to
say hi real quick.
You've got some white claw on the side of your face.
Is it?
Oh, yeah.
Well, I usually brush my eyes with toothpaste, so you're a little bit here.
This guy closed.
After a night of drinking.
He said.
Can you hear my voice right now?
Oh, yeah.
This guy.
He closed the bar down with me.
And you're my age, so you're hurting right now.
Oh, yeah.
I have my coffee.
I'm hanging in there.
He said the shittiest thing to me yesterday. And you're my age, so you're hurting right now. Oh, yeah. I have my coffee. I'm hanging in there.
He said the shittiest thing to me yesterday.
He's like, because I'm from, you know,
both of New York and he's from Boston. And he's just like, yeah, man, you know what it's like.
You know, we're both from New England.
And I was like, don't you ever, ever fucking say that.
I'm not from New Hampshire or Vermont.
I didn't know.
It was like when Donut introduced Meat Canyon before me.
I was like, dude, that's the shittiest thing I've ever heard anybody say.
I'm so mad, but it's so funny.
That's so funny.
I'm upset that I didn't think of it.
I'm mad that you said it.
I'm happy that it's hysterical.
There were so many emotions.
Yes, we're forever fellow New Englanders now.
I hate you.
I hate you so much.
I love you, guys.
I love you, buddy.
Don't. Oh, gross. I hate you so much. I love you guys. I love you, buddy. Don't.
Gross.
Fly safe, buddy.
Yeah, I hope you're not flying in a Boeing.
747.
Beautiful.
You didn't even give me a white claw. What a piece of
shit. I got you.
We got to dial it back. They're Caucasian claws.
Caucasian.
Whoa!
Where did the term Caucasian come from?
Caucus.
Tell me more.
It's in the Asian area, so caulk and Asian.
It also means
tiny white wiener.
Speaking of,
what do you get?
What's some big content you guys actually have coming up?
Coming up, I don't want to give away any secrets here,
but I am working on...
People have asked for my characters to be more long form,
move them around more, have them interact with each other more.
I'm working on that, but I don't want to give more than that.
So that's what I got coming up.
It's a long form content. I'm going on that, but I don't want to give more than that. That's what I got coming. It's a long-form content.
I'm going to be actually trying to create
some types of episodes with
my characters and some good stories.
I mean, I'm shooting for
10 minutes. That's my goal. It's around 10 minutes long.
We'll see what I get out of it.
10 minutes is that good money paycheck.
We'll see.
What are you working on?
Jesus Christ.
This video has taken me two months to make.
It's 40 minutes long.
It's posting today, so it'll be out already.
So you'll be able to see it.
There is a group of men that go out and do fake basic trainings.
Oh, my God.
I'm not done.
Oh, I know where this is going.
And I am labor breath.
The video starts off with me talking about a couple different groups that do it.
And then it focuses on, I'd say, the last two thirds on this group called MDK.
Murder, death, kill.
That's the modern day night project.
Oh, my God.
Murder, death, kill.
By the way, it's great reference.
Oh, my God.
And there is a specific instructor in it named Stephen.
And Stephen was a Marine from like 1996 to 2001 and screams at people and treats them like shit and goes off the rockers.
And Stephen, if you're watching, you're upset because you never stayed in the military to fight alongside your friends after 9-11 happened.
You coward.
Also, fuck you, Neil deGrasse Tyson.
Yeah.
So I dislike him because he's a jizz and all these people are grifting off of the military experience.
And I'll give you a specific example of why their jizz is grifting off the military experience is they have a bell like Navy SEALs like in Bud's.
Yeah.
And they have stamped on it u.s navy and the the turds that
pay eighteen thousand dollars to get yelled at for three days by these idiots will ring the bell
when they quit just like the navy seals and they're all pieces of shit and i dislike them
this is fucking bonkers i so i i know exactly what you're talking about because they started popping up on my fucking instagram 18 18 18
grand and i i looked it up and i was like and i scrolled through the comments and most of them
are like reasonable like us like dude just enlist like it's if you want to get yelled at by another
dude just fucking get paid to do that you literally get paid to do it and uh most of them are like
that but every once in a while you get someone who obviously paid and like went through the
whole process because they're like welcome to the club brothers and
like you're a part of a higher learning and i was just like this is the greatest scam i've ever seen
my wife she was talking to me about she's like it's perfect because if they succeed it's because
the program made them succeed but if they fail it's because they weren't ready to make the
fucking change which is the thing because the program is supposed to make you better not force you to fail it's a great sorry i'm so upset
i just like you've been working on it for two months and you are so fucking stuck it's 45
minutes long and i i don't i i mean i don't i hold back a little bit i make sure to say things
appropriately because i don't want to get like get some cease and desist order from these pussies but oh unfortunately there are some high uh the guy that runs MDK the owner
also has different offshoots some of the offshoots are legitimate and they like it they teach people
like skills you pay like 10 grand for I think he's a and unfortunately some of his offshoots
have outstanding veterans in them because i don't
think they're aware of how much of a and a grifter this guy is unfortunately one of the offshoot
businesses from this the the owner of this jizzy mdk has a good training regiment thing i'll say
good i don't really know everything about it but it seems to be a more pay to learn skills not to get the shit kicked
out of you and tim kennedy teaches firearms training in it oh yeah so that seemed okay
the training seemed good worthwhile for the money you're having special operators crazy skill dudes
teach you for a substantial amount of money how they work and do the things and hey if you're
gonna pay i don't know how much money it was for that school and you're gonna have the crumb
de la crumb of people that have been involved in it i can understand that purchase you're learning
you're actually learning from the best and you've got money to spend because you're fucking loaded
hey that's cool if i could have enough money to have chuck norris teach me karate i'd fucking do
it right basically the same thing especially with that hat, right? That's his only rule. These colors don't run. And,
but what I, what I, I want those veterans and people to see is that the owner that owns both
of those two things is such a piece of shit that you should just fucking stay away from him.
Cause all he cares about is the money in the bottom line, which as a business, I understand,
but you're willing to sacrifice the veteran space for it
and then the veterans that are there and stay there steven you bald piece of shit are grifters
and they know they can they can just fuck off they can absolutely fuck off their turds
you your veteran status has been revoked it's like john wick you're no longer consecrated grounds
and he's the one that didn't deploy, right?
What's that?
One of them didn't.
He got out.
The guy, Steve, specifically in his bio says he was a Marine from 1996 to like 2001.
And he's the psychopath that has absolutely no control over himself, doesn't know what he's doing, doesn't know how
to lead, doesn't know what any, what he's doing. All he knows is like, oh, my job is to make you
fucking suffer. Like I'm sick of fan. And he, and guess what? You left in 2001. You left when you
could have stayed in and fought alongside your brothers in Afghanistan against the Taliban.
But no, no, you didn't. You're a coward. And now instead of being with your bros and being like, you know, we went through battle together.
It was it was real.
And we fought the Taliban that attacked us.
You yell at overpaid teenagers and grown ass men and pretend like you're hard.
Suck my dick.
Go run a marathon.
I don't give a if you're shredded and 58 years old on TRT up your ass.
You're a turd. you're a turd you're a turd bro i went
to their website because after after enough i was like how do they convince these idiots to do this
i clicked on their website and i want to say about 70 times on one page it said flip the switch did
you see that too it's like when you're ready to flip the switch come join us and be the elite
so you can flip the switch and then you're gonna flip the switch i was like bro it literally says flip the switch on their website like 70 fucking times
if you have to i've seen one video and i always say it like this if you have to yell and say you're
the leader you're not the leader up top that is that is i'm in charge no if you say that oh you
have zero respect yeah and you are fucked.
I'm literally waiting for the thumbnail to come out so that I can post it today.
Oh, dude, I'm excited.
I know what I'm watching on my phone.
Oh, I know.
Everyone's like, okay, you're going to download that.
What time does it come out, Rich?
Dude, like the second this is done, I'm so hot right now.
I'm going to sit on the couch right now.
If you watch my video and you see the stupid shit this bald-ass fuck Steve does,
you're just like, you're a raging dick without a hole to go into.
And that's all you are.
And then the biggest thing that pisses me off is just, it just pisses me off so much.
It's like, I'm a big, strong, strange man.
I just can't be.
You fucking left before 9-11 and didn't come back.
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
God, you're going to be angry cops in this video.
No, I have to stay even keeled until the end.
And then the end, I say words.
In the end, I say some words.
We got the round round back out and everything?
No, no, no.
It's like 45 minutes.
I couldn't do the run.
I mean, I could scream for 45 minutes.
That's really not that hard.
But no, no, I did like a breakdown because I didn't want people thinking that I was one
of these assholes screaming because I can't control myself.
I had to do a breakdown of it and be like, here you go.
Here you go.
This guy's got a valid, you know, social media following.
This guy doesn't.
This guy's a piece of shit.
This guy buys his followers.
These people are paying this much.
I'm so glad I finally met Mitch in person.
You know, years. What was it? Two years ago, we roasted each other. as followers. These people are paying this much. I'm so glad I finally met Rich in person.
What was it? Two years ago we roasted each other.
We had a little roast battle and then TikTok took everything fucking down. Oh yeah, it was gloves on.
It was pretty kid gloves.
People reported our shit for bullying.
I roasted him.
TikTok's garbage. It's fucking trash.
I roasted him, he roasted me. It was a good time.
I hope TikTok gets banned.
It was almost there. I'm now more than you on TikTok. I have 1. He roasted me. It was a good time. I hope TikTok gets banned. It was almost there.
I'm now more than you on TikTok. I have 1.4
million. I really hope it gets banned now.
I didn't know that, but I super hope it gets banned.
Fuck you, HLC!
You're like, this ends it. Do you even post
on TikTok? I'm still mad
about these idiots and fake basic training.
I can't not focus.
I can't. This is your tism. When you get mad at something, it fake basic training. I can't not focus. I can't. I can't.
This is your tism.
When you get mad at something, it's so stupid.
It's so stupid.
They're taking advantage of idiots.
Oh, I could not.
That is one thing I've never understood is the idea of paying for leadership course to that degree.
If it's like Elon Musk, I'm like, okay, whole boy wants it.
He's going to teach me business for three days.
I'm paying 18 grand. However much I'm like, okay. Homeboy, he's going to teach me business for three days. I'm paying 18 grand
however much. I'm like, he knows
his shit. Obviously, he
knows his shit. I'm going to learn something. If Homeboy
starts yelling at me, I'm like,
I do not
like. I get it.
In the video, I say I get it.
It's people that weren't in
that want the veteran status.
What does the veteran status mean?
It means this, right?
We all deployed.
We all get each other.
We all understand the difficulties we went through, even though they might have been different.
There's a brotherhood.
We back each other up.
There's government and non-government organizations that want to help us because of the things that we went through.
There is, it's one of those things.
It's trauma bonding.
It's trauma bonding. It's trauma bonding.
And also, this sounds really lame, and I cringe at saying it.
We're like the warrior class of the United States because we've all been deployed.
We signed our name on the line to do it.
I'm 29. I'm only 29.
I'm only 29.
Fuck all of you.
Shitting on you made me happy.
You can drop me back to heaven.
Are you good now?
Yeah, I'm okay now.
Don't worry.
In a minute, we're going to bring up that Marine that embezzled all that money and had a fake purple heart.
Those guys are lame.
Can you imagine just sitting around a table with a bunch of bros, and they're like,
what if we did basic trading?
And they're like, we should have a bell like the SEALs do.
Oh, fuck it.
They have a wall of tomahawks.
What's up with that?
Do you see the wall of tomahawks they have?
Is that for graduating classes?
Tomahawks are cool.
Oh, here we go.
I hate it. My unit was the tomahawks they have is that for graduating classes tomahawks are cool oh oh here we go i hate my you know is the tomahawks we got it so much now they call us tommies tommies somebody died in their training they killed the dude see that's what i thought it was somebody
died right somebody died and they're still doing they're still going on so eighteen thousand
dollars for like a dude and there's like 20 dudes in each class if not more and you couldn't have like a medical personnel
there to like assist him that's that's unfortunate they're getting sued currently wait they didn't
have medical i don't know if they did or didn't they don't show anybody with even a fucking med
apparently right well even well even then in the video i talk about like as a drill sergeant like
these wannabe drill sergeants and screaming at people like even as a drill sergeant we go through
like medical training to make sure we can identify what's going on with somebody like rabdo
oh yeah rabdo and extreme if you don't know what rabdo it is extremely deadly it is the
overexertion of muscles your proteins can't break down so then uh your kidneys struggle
and that's why you pee out blood or really dark urine and then your body just shuts down your
body starts like eating away your muscle my lieutenant had it kidney failure yeah it's fucking terrible for you and it's extremely hard to get to that point we didn't
see much of it military was the only time you really seen it until crossfit came out
then we seen a huge surge of rhabdo with crossfit because it was like oh don't worry about this we'll
just fucking well you push through it you push through it and then you're fine yeah then you
over exert yourself even if you're already physically fit you can over exert yourself to an extreme and then you can do some people get
so fucking easy i had one dude um i i did one workout session this is personal training you
know i was fucking locked in he's like i don't work out i was like okay this would be easy
i had him do 10 or 10 body squats up and down four times.
It was like four sets of that.
We'll do some pushups.
We'll do light jump rope.
I was easing him into workout and I was like,
okay,
here is just,
uh,
and then diet.
I got a call from him.
I was like,
he was like,
man,
I can't move.
I was like,
man,
we did a really light day.
He's like,
should my pee look like this?
I was like,
uh,
send a picture,
send it.
I was like,
Oh bro, you got rabdo. What the fuck? You you barely did anything and i had him go to the er and then they loaded him up with
ivs and everything and they're like oh that was actually really close to kidney failure that's
how bad rabdo is you will fucking die you can come back and be okay but there are some points
where you cannot and then your body's like changed forever.
And now you can do like the minimal physical activity because your body will just break down.
You know, just tear itself down.
And they're just pushing people into that.
I didn't know someone died.
Someone passed away.
And there's a suit going against them.
And Steve.
And Steve.
Steve is named in it.
Steve is named in it.
And I have a nice little cut of Steve like being super upset and me like, my job is to
kill you.
Well, you succeeded, Steve.
You fucking did it.
You did it.
You couldn't do it to a fucking Afghan in the Taliban, but you did it to somebody in
the United States, a United States citizen.
Good job.
If you don't need a veteran, like none of us judge if you've not joined the military. Like I give a shit. If you don job. If you don't need a veteran, none of us
judge if you've not joined the military.
I give a shit. If you don't deploy, I don't give a shit.
I usually say, you're one of the smart ones.
My dumb ass didn't have a choice.
I was like, I have a GED. I'm poor and
Mexican. I can shoot
guns. War. I got
$1,800 a month.
It's a very bad paycheck.
It was an experience that I wouldn't wish upon anyone.
And then I got back.
I'm like, okay.
Now I tell everyone, don't do that.
Or join the Air Force.
Be smart. Do that.
I'm not once in my fucking life
would be like, if you haven't joined the military yet,
you know what you can do?
Pay $10,000.
Do a five-day course to get smoked out.
And you will be such a leader after that.
Fuck.
No, never was my fucking life.
Would I say that to anyone?
One of them got a tattoo on his arm.
It's a, it's like a whole upper sleeve and it's his graduating class of like six or seven
guys like running through the sand, holding like their class flag.
It looks like a fucking seal tattoo like a buds class
tattoo i'm telling you that guy's gonna get his ass kicked if he goes into the right club in san
diego he's gonna be like what are you what class were you in like oh i was in this class buds you
were in class 002 for buds that's like in the 60s no no not buds man it was kind of like buds
we had to ring a bell we had to ring a bell. We had to ring a bell. Pretty much the same thing. We had this Marine that got out and cowered before 9-11.
His run right now, he's watching this episode like, fuck.
It's the cringiest shit ever.
It looks like a really good tattoo, but it's just like,
it's like getting a really beautiful tattoo of yourself getting pegged.
Right?
Right?
Like. yourself getting pegged. Right? Right? Fucking Christ, man.
That's the catch right there.
I think we can end it
on that note because our boy Nick has to go
to the fucking airport.
It's like the artistry is beautiful
but the
message is lost.
Oh, my God.
Nick closes out the beautiful son of a bitch.
Thank you for watching the Unsubscribe podcast.
I've been joined here today by my co-host, Mr. Eli Double Tap, Ethan, Mr. Habitual Line
Crosser, and my dear friend, Mr. Angry Cops.
Steven's a piece of shit.
Where can we find you guys?
I'm on the YouTubes under angry cops i also have a website angry
cops.com where all the links are available because a friend of mine taught me that combining all the
links together makes it easier for people to go holy shit he taught me the same thing yeah because
you can find me at habitual line crosser.com great segue wasn't it it was good we're pretty good yeah
thank you guys for joining us. We love you! Bye!
We'll see you on the next one.