Unsubscribe Podcast - 16 - The Poop Episode

Episode Date: May 23, 2021

NEW PODCASTS MON/WED.   So...like...the title covers it. Sorry not sorry. Also Baddie is sorry if you are blind and listen.  Remember when we used to talk about Video Games, Guns and Anime? me too :( Go have a wonderful day. or dont. i dont care.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It won't take long to tell you Neutral's ingredients. Vodka, soda, natural flavors. So, what should we talk about? No sugar added? No sugar added? Neutral. Refreshingly simple. Pineapple, line that up.

Oh, we're already starting. Hi, welcome. Well, no, don't. Sorry. It's your turn. Hi, everyone. Unsubscribe podcast here. Oooooohhh I'm in by Jimmy's Russell. It's been two weeks. It has been a while. Oopsie.

Who are you guys? I'm Eli by the way. It's nice to meet you. I'm Donut. It's very good to be here. Thank you. Batty. Batty Streams. I'm a huge huge fan. Hey and is, oh, wait. Operator Drewski didn't come. Huh. It's weird. It's like we had a text. Like, hey, Drewski. If you guys don't know, today we have John Cena on the podcast. You can't see him.

I was like, no, it's not getting this joke yet. Oh, man. Okay. Batty, do a sponsorship with Carb carbock our new ranch water sorry i don't love you anymore we're breaking up it's not me it's you um you're done carbock ranch water it's better than the other one. And Zion's. Cherry lime, specifically. Zion's, if you can just. Oh, you're not drinking, right? I know.

I can't wait to break your sobriety just like I broke JT's. Yeah, JT had a good two months. Three. Like three. Three months. Yeah. Now I'm all healthy for. Until Fridays.

Fridays I'm allowed to drink. Okay. What kind of bullshit ass. Fridays I can drink. That's my cheat day are you just gonna get like man of nights on every friday okay maybe not do that i'm not like you guys where you're like we'll just do two man of nights a week right now i was like man these guys are doing it all the time right it's not fun no yeah you guys have done a lot lately because kings

can't sleep and he gets drunk so he can pass the fuck out because his cluster headache bullshit and he's dying. So he's like, I'm going to drink it. And he's like, hey, buddy, help. And I'm like, okay. They thought they would get me with $20 man and nights, even though I was like, oh, man and night, man and night. Go and check their texts. I was like, before these assholes even lie how much each man is going to be.

That's not what we did. You were just wrong. That's not what happened at all. It was $72. And you're like, I already readholes even lie how much each man is going to be. That's not what we did. You were just wrong. That's not what happened at all. It was $72. And you're like, I already read it. It was $79, not $72. You guys were saying $30. Were we?

That's a cheap man. That's weird, man. That's weird. I don't think there's any VOD or any proof of this. I don't believe you. Always delete the video evidence. Always. Every time.

Every goddamn time. What have you been up to, buddy? I went to UFC two, six, two with Chuck Liddell. That was really cool. That's a boring story.

Okay. Next. No, I'm joking. Go on. Everyone was there. Frazier was in Houston. Like he was. Yes.

I know. It was like, sir, dude, I had so many buddies. There's like, you dickheads don't say anything when you go to Texas. And I'm like, wait, what? I didn't know Frazier was there. I would so many buddies there. It was like, you dickheads don't say anything when you go to Texas. And I'm like, wait, what?

I didn't know Frazier was there. I would have invited him out. We went out to the club with Chuck and this little rich kid. I got a lap dance from Chuck. And this little rich kid ran up and was like, let me pay for all your drinks and your table. And threw down like $10,000 in cash. And then took everyone to the strip club after and pulled out another $10,000 in cash. And was just like, yeah.

Y'all wouldn't do a strip club without me? I didn't go but chuck went with him i went home early i need different friends yeah right i mean we live together we could do you guys want to go to a strip club are you gonna throw it out 10 grand then i'll have to spend it probably not i'll pull out like a hundred bucks machine somewhere yeah so i'm going to that was a great experience i met joe rogan so that was cool oh yeah how was that that's pretty he's a really nice guy did you meet dana too uh i didn't meet dana i was standing beside him but i did not meet him yeah i did i smelled dana white a little bit

dana smells bald very bald yeah that's true good sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Bleach. Mr. Clean. So, yeah, you fucking we had chocolate out of the range. That was fucking. Oh, yeah. I was. Yeah, that was a little after the podcast. We haven't talked about that.

No, I haven't talked about Chuck. Chuck Liddell came out to the range with Black Rebel Coffee. I had food poisoning. Yeah. He died for like three days. Yeah. You OK now? I am. That was the absolute. That's what you get for not drinking i know i guess is that how that works i remember going

i was like i gotta direct tonight i gotta direct tonight in the noon that feeling like the mouth watering started and i was like no no no no no no no you i hate i hate throwing up like it is it's a fear of mine like i can't breathe you just fight it to the last second yes I fear because I'm gonna be like I'm gonna be like I can't breathe in I'm like spring vomit it's the most terrifying thing in the world to me. So I remember that last phone call with Arnaud. I was like, I took some anti-nausea meds. I should be good. He's like, okay, we need.

I was like, I got to go. And I was like, I just started vomiting. And then I just kept going. And then I slept for like 15 minutes. I throw up, slept for 50 minutes, throw up and that lasted. I gotta know, did you poop? Did you have like explosive diarrhea and vomiting? Were you both sides? Yes! Oh 100%

So did you have to do the bucket while sitting on the toilet or did you put your butt in the bucket and puke in the toilet? I threw up in another bathroom and pooped in the other bathroom. I had two Oh you double tapped it Yeah, I did Hence the name. It's from that specifically.

I was literally just like running back and forth. And I knew something was wrong because the first thing I did, I was like, I'm feeling nauseous. I pooped that day. I went poop. And it was like, well, it was like a bright green crayon. I was like, my poop's never been that color. What the fuck does that mean like googled it it's like didn't have salad can't be that i was like uh-oh did you get a green cupcake you ever

do that eat the the cupcakes with the crazy frosting when you shit neon blue that's literally what it looked neon green i've done that do you remember the the black buns they had for that halloween at burger king and it turned your shit black yes oh. What? Oh my god. I forgot about the black buns. What was it called? Everyone was posting pictures on the internet of their shit because it was pure black. The black buns just dyed everything. That's not healthy. If you have black stool, that's like real bad.

Yeah, that means you have blood in your stool. If it's bright blood in your stool, it's fine. Or it just means a tear on the outside butt. Just cut your butthole with that big old turd. Yeah, that turd cutter didn't do its job. That turd cutter broke. This is the poop episode of Unsubscribe.

Yeah, welcome to Unsubscribe where we talk about anime, nerd stuff, and shit. Oh, man. Oh, dude. So I was pooping right great transition all right we're going in we were staying at the four seasons and um uh my friend jessica was at the and at the restaurant and i didn't get a chance to like really talk to joe rogan i just met him and said hey blah blah but i wanted to talk to him about like coming on a show maybe and he was staying in the four season

and he was walking through the hotel and he kept getting stopped by people. But I was taking a poop. So she's like, Rogan's out here. Come out. Rogan's out here. Come out. Rogan's out here. And I had to just cut it off.

And then the toilet paper at the Four Seasons is black. And you can't tell when you're actually done. So you just kept going. So I just kept going and going and going. And then I missed Rogan. The elevator was closing as I was coming out. And I didn't want to hold the elevator and corner as I was coming out and I didn't want to like hold the elevator And corner him in the elevator. Yeah, so who makes black toilet paper? It's a fancy fancy hotel guys

It was soft it was super soft Interesting yeah introducing double-ply brown toilet paper Is my mind done we call it risk I don't know if you're done or not wet wipes is the only way

Eli knows you got wet wipes oh I love wet wipes I just bought wet wipes is that a military thing or just like I think it is because when you're

out in the field yeah I have one dude always had the wet wipes in his bag baby wipes whatever the fuck they were one you always

it's like taking a shower every time you shit yeah you just gotta true yeah get your ass throw the fucking yeah and then it's biodegradable the black toilet paper is like i got to finally see what it's like to shit as a blind person oh my god i never thought about i i did do oh there was some stories about that it It's like how blind people just. How do they know? Yeah. If you're blind, please, in our comments, I'm not sure how you're typing. You just pointed at the camera.

If you're blind. Yeah, if you're blind out there, hey, you, if you're listening, question mark. Patty said that, too. That's all they do if you're blind and have a friend else to type in our comments how do you know when you're done shitting answer below

if you have a friend who's blind ask him for us I just want to know now is it just like it's probably easily googleable shut the fuck up

I'm not gonna do that we don't have time for that we don'm not gonna do that we usually google something like how do blind people poop out of their buttholes stupid i hate you oh yeah so that's where today went oh my my God. This is great side story. I'm blind. There was a blind lady. She was super sweet next door, but she was a hoarder. This is back in LA. Oh no. Had no standards. Uh, but no, she lived next door and she was like a hoarder and it was like, it's creepy. Cause when you think about it,

it's like that lady's just sitting there in her house and like all this trash and complete darkness for herself because she wouldn't turn her lights on. I was like, man, it's like an actual horror story right there. It's like super creepy when you think about it. There are very few things that you can be certain of in life. But you can always be sure the sun will rise each morning. You can bet your bottom dollar that you'll always need air to breathe and water to drink. And of course, you can rest assured

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for the peace of mind you've been searching for. Public Mobile. Different is calling. Is a lady just sitting in the dark of her house at all times, day or night, just maneuvering through her garbage. I don't like it.

Yeah, you're like, ah, yeah. I don't like it. Nope. Just Smeagol popped into my head. That's very true. Because he lived in a dark cave. Big old creepy eyes, too. Biggest ones.

Batty, so you competed in a video game tournament. Yeah, it was shit. No, I'm kidding. It was actually a lot of fun. You came in second, right? Third. Or third. Third.

It's a good story. I've heard a partial amount of the story. I haven't heard it. So, yesterday was the Escape from Tark twitch rivals team event 24 teams three people per team uh with like a thirty thousand dollar prize pool and uh our team was myself kings who we talk about far too much gross gross and uh one of our buddies velian who's a smaller Twitch partner. And all the sweaty gamers were in LA. Like Clean, Willer, Landmark, Anthony Collin fan was in it. Wellen was there, AquaFPS.

Like a lot of big creators. This was the North America tournament. There was an EU one a couple days ago as well. And it started out real bad for us. We were like 23rd out of 24 with.01 seconds left after the first four rounds. It was like there was like five sections to the tournament. There was the first section, which was like the qualifier. You played one map four times, and there was like achievements. You could go around and try to do specific tasks, kill certain people,

kill players, and earn points. Whoever had the most points after all four of those qualifying rounds would be moved into like the bracket system so is this are you playing uh random players or are you playing each other playing each other oh shit closed pvp servers there's only the ai scavs so ai player like the computers and other players that are in the tournament which i fucking loved see that's smart that was the biggest issue with the last few tournaments was it was on public servers. So people could snipe in even with a stream delay. People could get into the tournament. Yeah.

Or, you know, you'd have one team on a server with a bunch of solo shit players and one team on another server with five super geared, the hardcore players. And then that doesn't matter if that team is really good. They're fucked. So it was on private servers so like it was all the best pv players you know known to the game versus all these other bigger streamers and boy you didn't i didn't it's weird how all the best players didn't make it past like the second round will i'm sorry i love you bro but i'm gonna talk shit right now i'm sorry because did will and landmark were on yeah the same team their their third player i don't remember but will it was will and landmark

on the same team if you guys don't know who they are they're like the best two of the best players in the world they play like i would say counter or call of duty they play tarkov like call of duty which is insane to watch how fast and crazy they they do things um but yeah they got knocked out like second round like they made it through the qualifier first round of the uh the brackets they got knocked out just done what happened dunked on just some smaller uh the first round also we were in the same lobby as them i don't want to say that we didn't actually kill them they got they got stomped on by another team and we came in and

cleaned up their third player will and landmark were already dead but um but it was crazy it was actually like i i know a lot of people were complaining they didn't like i've learned that twitch and uh battle state don't understand how a bracket works. Like if you're the first qualifier, you go against the worst player, the worst teams. It's like first and 16th or whatever, second and 15th. They put first, second, third, and fourth all in one bracket. So they just blew their load right at the beginning. It's like that's not how a bracket system works.

If you do really well, you go up against the worst teams. Yeah. In the middle. It meets in the middle for the finals. Yeah. That's how you get the – Nope. A good ending.

Mm-hmm. Like, no, fuck that. I mean, I think they did – there was like a loser bracket and a winner bracket. But either way, it was just a weird set – their bracket system was just set up kind of weird. But, yeah, we were in 23rd at the end of the qualifying round we had done really good the first out of the four four maps then we just got shit on this the middle two and then the fourth one we were doing decent and then mean kings got killed and it was only our partner velion left and he was like on the cusp a cunt hair away from getting a fuck ton of points, which would have pushed us like just barely into qualifying.

And he was extracting from the map and the clock hit zero and a player pushed him and he killed the player. Apparently there was like 0.03 seconds left on the clock technically when he got the kill. Yeah. So we went from 23rd up to 13th because it counted all of the little things at the end there so valiant got that motherfucker he he is loud and angry and stressful he's a apparently a more solo player yeah and he struggled a little with teams i think but overall motherfucker mvp'd the shit out of us for uh that round and another one later on and he did he did good which was cool to see so i was it was pumped

so we got bumped to 13th we then for the every round of the bracket system we had the most points because it's all based on points you gotta find certain things like they made you have to find the heaviest item in the game a tank battery they would hide three tank batteries randomly on each map or not i guess not randomly everybody knew where the tank batteries were and they they make it so you just can't run if you've ever picked up a tank battery in tarkov you're fucked because it's a weight system it's like a survival game you carry too much you're like slow walking and you have to pull out a tank battery to get like the most points so everybody's just like slow walking and trudging around.

Their teammates are covering them. Trying. That's what we did. We pulled one off of Woods. And we had to carry it from the middle of the map all the way across the map. With four minutes left on the clock. It was so stressful. Holy shit.

But yeah, we ended up moving all the way up till third clean i think got bumped out somewhere like around 10th or 8th in the middle um party pineapple our editor seventh place in the tournament boy that was his first time in rivals too i think so he did real good there um yeah but we we pushed up to. Somehow we accidentally made it to third. You made podium. Yeah. You got a bronze medal. Yeah.

I mean, that's. You failed up. It's like when you're running up the stairs and you trip and you fall up the stairs. Go, go, go, go, go, go. That's what happened. And I broke my thumb once doing that, tripping, running upstairs. Random story. Oh, my thumb once doing that. Tripping, running upstairs. Random story. Look at the little keys.

Yeah, but there was a lot of shit talking going on between a lot of the players. Dude, I bet there was just... Where was the shit talking at? Twitch chats and a little offhanded comments here and there. Bullshit! Well, that's the thing.

You see all these people that are known to be the best tarkov players again no offense will love you brother um that play in these public lobbies against normal players but when you put them all up against spicy dudes suddenly all the best players maybe aren't all the best players and that's where everyone's like well it's still random tasks and i hated how this was like this and then all the excuses and everything started coming out. But I mean like the winners were three smaller Twitch partners. It was a guy named EFT Sharptooth,

just Sharptooth now, QueenFPS and I can't remember their third, or Arson. Arson TV I believe were the three first place winners. Arson killed me in the last round you motherfucker good for them but dude like it was super cool to see the top two teams

were all like not like the top of the Tarkov directory that's crazy they were still like decent sized streamers but it was really great

to see people actually like get into it I think Anthony Comfan moved into his team was fourth place they did good Anthony did real good that tournament which was cool place. They did good. Anthony real good.

That tournament, which was cool. Cause he does a lot of other stuff too. That's crazy. That's it's those brackets. It's actually putting players into their like skill level when you're like all the spice. That's how caught that.

I do like cod or war zone for that. Yeah. Cause it's like, yo diamond one, every game spicy. Yeah. Now the game, the problem was with it is the same thing.

It would be when the tournaments, the kill tournaments, rush kills. Yeah. Every game. The problem was with it is the same thing. It would be when the tournaments, the kill tournaments, rush kills. Yeah. And you'd be like, okay, guys, you have five rounds of Warzone or 10 rounds of Warzone to get as many kills as you can. And what players were doing, pro players were just joining. They'd look at the skill bracket and exit out. Yeah, they would just keep joining and backing out. And they'd get a low elo lobby and just murder everyone because then you're playing with trash.

It's just pub stop. It's an old school pub stop. And it's like, I know when I'm in a low elo because it's like, oh, this battle, they missed me, period. I did. Yeah. They're like, br're like and they run away and you're like the outline of the bullet hole it's like that scene from pulp fiction yeah where he comes out of the bathroom he just kind of looks around like what the but man yeah skill skill

like match skill-based matchmaking or just like like, the private lobbies, that's, like, I remember when PUBG first launched, they had an issue with that. Yeah. Like, the original, like, first rounds of early access. Yeah, when it was still in the terms. When Donut reached out to me, he was like, hey, we should play PUBG sometime. We could be friends, buddy. Yeah, I remember that. Did you ignore him?

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No, it was 2017. 17 or 16. Yeah, that was back in the day. Because I was a PUBG partner. Uh-huh. And I could do the custom, make my own matches for all my friends to jump in. I used to play with my lobby. It was really fun.

I'm probably not a partner anymore because i haven't played it in two years but sorry thanks for the partnership though that game i don't i'm surprised feels pretty fun and then fortnite kind of killed it yeah fortnite they also dropped the ball with terror but but just first of all they let they didn't region lock China. That was a problem. There were a lot of hackers. That was a problem for early PUBG days. Yeah, they dropped the ball huge with their updates, man.

It was just a little too late. Sorry, there's pussy fighting in the background. Get him! Go for the jugular! Be nice to your brother, Jones. Jesus Christ. in the background get him go for the jugular be nice to your brother jones jesus christ but yeah pub g the the original tournaments there were public law they were they get dropped into a public ground have to get a public lobby get a certain amount of kills and that's what the early

tarkov tournaments were public lobbies you'd you'd have people try to stream snipe into the games to help or hinder you know they'd have sweaty four men's dropping to tournaments yeah fucking a single solo player who doesn't know what he's doing trying to hatch it right that's a free kill so i was super thrilled they did it this way the last few ones were like a bingo style tournament where you have to achieve certain achievements oh yeah a bingo board i did that one those i didn't mind just because it was kind of fun to be in a rival tournament still but but it's rng god you're up to the rng god and if you're rng look at if you want a good example speed runs watch speed runs they don't they'll just restart if they that one little thing is wrong you restart a speed run because there's no point they're like nope fucking this is pointless

reset oh i'm 30 minutes in this run nope this didn't happen reset and you're like that's the exact same thing you guys were doing it's like well team a got really good luck team b got literally fucked so it was really cool that these were all it wasn't random control every map had the scab boss on it you know oh that's awesome like scab boss 100 because it was only it was one map it went four qualifying rounds on reserve map into a round on woods which was the first bracket then to uh interchange then to shoreline then to um i think the last one was custom actually sorry it was a reserve custom woods shoreline then back to reserve there was no factory on that one or labs but like every time if there's a scav boss on that map he was there everyone had the same

tank battery spots on every map it was other players in the tournament every time so it was like it was as as controlled as a survival rng based game can be yeah and that i i loved i thought it was a great system was there some confusion in points and brackets? Yes. But for a Twitch Rivals tournament, I had a fucking blast. It's probably the best one you've done. Absolutely. Absolutely. I was having fun when we were in 23rd.

Yeah, it's still a good time. I mean, for a tournament with all the best players in Tarkov, there was no EU players. There was no Australian players. So, like, Vestelius, Slush, they didn't get to play with us, which was a bummer because it was just the NA tournament.

But it was still fucking cool, man. I will take that style tournament over nothing. Yeah. Dang. What game were you playing? Let's get dunked on landmark. World of Warcraft. Oh, don't even.

Oh, my God. Jesus Christ. Oh, man. I'm. Oh, my God. Jesus Christ. Oh, man. I'm about to get back into it, too. Yes! Are you more of a PvE or PvP player? World of Warcraft, a bit more PvE. Yeah.

I like Dungeons and Raiding. Before we go to that trash, play Resident Evil 8. No, I'm not going to. I don't give a fuck about Resident Evil games. Oh, yeah, you don't. I'll play it. Is it good? Have you beat it?

What's your favorite Resident Evil? I haven't beat it yet. Nemesis. I heard they Evil games. I'll play it. Is it good? Have you beat it? What's your favorite Resident Evil? I haven't beat it yet. Nemesis. I heard they all die. I have no idea. I'm just trying to really get it. Did you like four? I can't remember which one.

Leon, and then in the village, you can upgrade your weapons. Oh, is it like in Africa? No, that's the number five. It's the one where it's like, what you selling? No, I don't remember that one. It's like considered like, so two and four are considered like the number five. It's the one where it's like, what you selling? No, I don't remember that one. It's like considered like so two and four considered like the best ones. This one is four and seven. So seven was the first.

First person was scary. Just pure scary. And then they were like, OK, let's do that. It's a first person Resident Evil now. Like it's there's some scary attributes to it, but it's fucking like, you're like, running around clearing. The dude's now trained with a firearm. It's fucking good.

You get to upgrade your weapons, the battles, the bosses. I'm enjoying the fuck out of it. There's big tittied vampire bitch too. There's big tittied goth girls in it. She's Lady Demetrius. She's 9'6". In the game. She's Lady Demetrius. She's nine foot six in the game. She's a monster.

I mean, Eli, can we just. That's three of me. She's three Eli's tall. Dude, and her tit would sit on my head comfortably. She is huge in the game. And then she just like walks after you. And you're like, it's that weird feeling in a video game. I haven't had or I'm like shit shit shit shit shit My heart's like like run away from this bitch

The other bosses are popping up and you're like Yeah There's the ones that are might be checking It's just the goss. He's gonna check to check out the Pornhub version. Yeah. Resident Evil 8 porn. I mean, you know it's there. Here we go. You know it's there.

I don't know if it's there. He's like, click the second video down. It populates. The first one's trash. They just mislabeled it. Fucking thumbnails. No, but it's really good. Like, I am really fucking happy with it.

The puzzles. I've heard nothing but good things. I just don't give a fuck about Resident Evil games. Yeah, if it's not your thing. Like, I'm not going to knock the game. I've heard good things. I beat the last one. That was a good one, too.

Was it 7? Yeah. Yeah, the one where you're in, like, the bayou. Yeah, 7. The fucking... The redneck family that eats people so it's that it's that same guy it's that same guy is in this one oh like the character you play yeah yeah oh he just keeps getting in all sorts of shit that's why he was like literally

that's what's great about it he's like fuck man like i just want to forget about that because it's like x amount of years later and then he's thrust back into it he's like motherfucker fool me once shame on you but it's that character but he explains like the reason now he knows how to use firearms and you get like ar like all that shit in this game sniper rifle it's literally in seven he was clumsy and shit with stuff you had like a pistol and a shotgun yeah and you found it you found a shotgun in the house so i didn't play seven but i watched an entire playthrough of like the different stuff that can happen in it because i i don't like the games but the story was fucking cool it was a spooky game so i literally i'll sit down and just watch somebody play those games like twitch yeah this one is like that but uh you have like the merchant that you can buy upgrades to your weapons you get a you get to create ammo and like the the potion stuff to heal yourself

it's just a fun game and it seems big because i'm i don't even know how far i've just got like the first bosses done so now i have to go like I'm guessing there's like three more big bosses I have so yeah it's fun though so so good on that stream PC okay now back to your trash Wow whoa okay so what was pretty cool I haven't played wow I looked it up the other day so I actually logged in got my account stuff which took a bit because my authenticator was on a phone I had three, four years ago, which I go through phones a lot. But I actually played WoW since 2016. It was the last time I played, played.

I bought Legion in 2019. I did the same. Never played it. Never opened it. Never touched it. But that was the last time I logged into my Battle.net account, I think. And I have no idea what I'm doing at all. I am so lost in the fucking sauce right now, but I'm having so much goddamn fun.

I've been staying up until like 5, 6 a.m. That's why you've been doing that. I'm just playing WoW. What character are you playing? I made a blood elf warlock. I like DPS. 6 a.m that's why you've been doing that i'm just playing wow what character are you playing uh i made a blood elf warlock because warlock i like dps like i i want to learn how to uh how to tank i love tanking and i just i don't know how i don't know any of the dungeons i don't know any of the raids because i'm more of a pve player than pvp um and i don't know any of the shit yet to tank

so i'm gonna just learn some of the raids. Then I'll start learning how to tank again. Yeah. I just like, I've never been huge into WoW. I've always leveled. And then my friends will be like, well, we're going to do something else. And I'm like, well, I guess I'm not going to play WoW anymore. And I just get back into an FPS or some shit. I stop playing.

So I'm relearning how to fucking do everything. Because it's completely different. The Warlock I'm playing now is a destruction warlock which back in the day wasn't a good warlock so I never fucking learned it. I learned like an affliction warlock

so I'm like my rotations are different so I got all these fucking add-ons and it's making my brain hurt because I'm not smart. MMOs. But I'm having so much fun.

What level are you? I just hit I'm like 55 and a half. I started at 48, 50 50 i just took a bump because i didn't want to replay the entire they brought the cap down to 60 because it was 120 yeah it was like 120 level 120 in the last uh they put it back to 60 now so they just compressed everything i mean like health was in like the millions in shit like numbers were absurd there was no point to the number system. It kept

multiplying. It was getting exponential at that point. You did 1.2 million damage with that one back stab. How much health does this creature have? Well, that creature has 38 trillion. That's what it got to. They're like, maybe we should put it in a more

manageable numbers. I found the chat in WoW is still just as gold as ever. Yeah. Last night. Super toxic. Oh, my God, dude. Last night I was playing and somebody just puts it in the general chat or something. She was like, hey, man, if you ever need help, I'm going to be streaming live on Twitch seven days a week doing YouTube videos as well.

Two platforms. You know how it is. And then the fucking people reply. They're like, wait, this motherfucker's on two platforms you know it isn't and then the fucking people reply that's really wait this motherfuckers on two platforms seven days it just kept going and it was just like all this poor man this man's trying to advertise in a vid you game don't do that never don't do that. Never. Don't do that. You're either going to get trolled or people just don't give a shit. Don't do that and

don't come into somebody else's stream and advertise your stream. Yeah, don't do that. I hate that I have to say that. Hey, if you're in a stream and you're like, oh, I gotta leave to go to my stream. We know what you're doing. Yeah. Don't be a shit cunt have you always played horde

uh i have horde and actually i think i only have one alliance character do you remember baron's chat like like if you're in the barons like oh yeah the chat was always just like fire there it was always that in crossroads was always fucking yep the crossroads and the barons yeah wow is there actually much dude i remember the last time i played a little bit of legions and it's just so ridiculous where you like you don't have to talk to another soul now in an mmo which has completely changed how mmos were back from like everquest final fantasy 11 because they finders you can go through all those instances and no one says a damn thing. They're just grinding through

killing the bosses and then it's over. Even the first couple years of WoW was like you would have to run to the dungeon. Everyone had to run there. And if you wanted to summon someone to the meeting stall. You would all wait there and try to

fucking... And it was hard. You had to really think about what you were doing and communicate, and you're right, with dungeon finders now and everything is just handed to you. Dude, those old instances. What was the one in the desert? I remember I have the most memories of that. Where I had the Egyptian pyramid.

This is original. Vanilla. Oh, it is a Z. Yeah. Zan's a bar. Zan again. But you know what I'm talking like that or the one where you fight the hydras under like in the mountain and there's a waterfall and you jump off like all those. I remember so well, but you'd have like you'd prep and there was like you'd wipe a lot even on those young instances because people just didn't know what they were doing it was a lot more difficult now it's just i don't think you can fail a instance now it's really hard you have to be

terrible we hadn't uh i was playing fuck a couple days ago i was in a first dungeon i've done since getting back into WoW, and our healer was just being a shit cunt. Like a literal piece of shit, just being rude to everyone, like, ugh, fucking, you're new, you're new, oh, this tank's stupid, everyone vote kick the tank, he sucks, and then eventually he was like,

wow, what are you doing, and then one other dude just wrote to everyone, he's like, just ignore him, y'all are doing fine. And eventually, as soon as that guy wrote that, healer quit, priest quit. So we're all like, I'm like, just ignore him. Y'all are doing fine. And eventually, as soon as that guy wrote that, healer quit, priest quit. So we're all like, I'm like, I don't know. I'm like, I'm paying. Dungeon finder immediately queued another healer

halfway through the dungeon. I was like, we don't have to start over. I mean, it's been so long since I've done anything like this. And it's, I don't know. I'm having fun. Like, I'm gaming offline. I played WoW on stream the other night, too. You did?

Yeah. People like it. It's just weird. I haven't gamed offline in a while. I've been playing games off of it. Can we all play together? I'll play WoW. I have level 50 of every class.

I want to play. You want to play WoW with us? Yeah, I'll play WoW. You want to play WoW until 5 a.m.? Let's do it. Should we start new characters together yes level 50 characters oh yeah we'll start boosted characters yeah boosted we'll start strong boosted characters i'd be down to play like a boost to 50 is fine because 50 to

60 is like the new shit shadowlands so yeah that's the expansion and it teaches you how to play now and that's why i didn't start out even as a boosted character i don't need to relearn fucking that that's another big thing i didn't want to relearn levels one through fucking 40 i've done that so many goddamn times and had my friends quit halfway through where i'm like well don't want to play more so i'll boost to 50 i'll grind from 50 to 60 and that's fine that's a fun amount of grind for sure you can do dungeons along the way it's good or do we play final fantasy 14 i'm not gonna play final fantasy i'm not gonna play final fantasy you sons of bitches everyone says the story's way better everyone's like the story's way better and so are the fights final fantasy 14 was one where

they had they remade the entire game because it sucked so much so so bad they literally about that one time. They literally revamped. That's why it's called a Realm Reborn is because they trashed the old... They were like, oh, we got one year to fix this or two years. And they just like, they're like, this game sucked. It went from a million subs to 28,000 subs in a month. You know you killed your game when your entire player base is like nah the same for me dog

yeah i'm gonna go play eso instead yeah it's like oh honey but the new one everyone's like they rave and they i was reading a wow developer because they don't like the a lot of the wild developers and new like especially the hardcore raiding guilds, they don't like the boss encounters in World of Warcraft or how it's managed. They're like, it's just cheap. And they're like, none of these things, these... The cat's fine. Fuck you.

Fuck you. How squirt was the bully? No, Jones has been... Look, he's just beating Squirt up and chasing around the house the past couple of days. He's very angry. Squirt, shank him. Have sex with him.

Oh, so Squirt tried to fuck Jones one time. He's just got a wild hair up his ass and mounted poor little Jones. And Jones is like, this is my night. Now we know why Jones is mad yeah there's anger built up i mean me and eli were hanging at the bar and all of a sudden eli's like i'm like he's gonna not like me for a while you might have yeah that's not okay be nice but yeah they had um the boss rotations on the uh how everything how final fantasy teaches you is like the big thing it's like hey this mechanic throughout each dungeon it's like hey we're doing

this this and this so when you get to that final encounter you know each of these like glyphs on the ground or what's going to happen next and everyone praises the the big raid battles because of that whereas or world of warcraft i always just did like it's like spam watch out for the fucking emblem going so we're running add-ons that make noises if you're in a bad place now deadly boss with deadly boss mod it's like and it tells you everything it's like which is great, because I'm usually on my phone scrolling like TikTok

or watching porn on the other monitor anyways. So now I'm like, I can multitask like a pro. Oh, man. What are you going to play? What are you going to play, Donut? What have you always done in WoW? What has been your WoW?

I'm a hunter. Or a tank. I like warrior tanking. But hunter has always been my main thing. I like kiting big bosses that you can't normally kill by yourself. I got really good at kiting. I love going out and finding world bosses

and killing them with my hunter. It feels good getting back into an MMO. It does. I got another little mod that shows DPS that everyone's doing against the boss encounter and just seeing my name at the top. As a destruction. Yeah.

Destruction. I mean, it's like barely me though. It's more of the class, but like, it's still like, who was that? Vanguard had that.

Where's the DPS thing? I remember getting to 60 Vanguard was like a track EverQuest made that the creators create a Vanguard after I had the bumps and roads, remember getting to 60 vanguard was like a track everquest made that the creators created vanguard after it had the bumps and roads but it was fun because you would have if you had a good rotation built for your like dps rogue the level of damage you do was astronomical i remember going into like parties and they would be damage rogues can do dude these ones would be like, I burst damage 20,000 and they'd be like 20,000, 30,000. And then they'd see me at like 110,000. Like how the fuck are you doing that much damage? I was like, Oh, use this macro.

Cause you can build the macros out. I was like, use this exact macro. You will just murder everything with the push of a button. It'd be like, like spin around, double backflip, stab, stab, stab. Then you do stealth again, double backflip, double backflip. And then you do the same thing. and be like boom boom boom like stealth crouch backstab spin around

double backflip stab stab stab then you do stealth again double backstab yeah the guy walks away for five seconds

wait and then cool down and do it again and be like Jesus Christ straight up yeah yeah did you ever see

the old series called World of Roguecraft it was a video series on YouTube back like back in the day OG YouTube OG World of Warcraft.

It was this rogue, and he was so good at playing the class, he would take the starting dagger that was like.5 DPS, and that's all he would use when he was level 60, and he would just destroy entire teams of people. He was just so good. He was so good. He was a dead. All that shit.

He was undead, right? Yeah, he was an undead rogue. Yep. Okay, I remember. He would just fucking annihilate some of the best players in the game god i love those that's not like what has you guys read the plague story right on world of warcraft like the plague that happened that like accidentally killed all the undead no the plague that uh someone they brought a monster

into the city and that plague because it got brought into the city. Then it just kept spreading and destroying. Oh, yeah, yeah. And like the CDC actually went and like. Did a study on it. Colleges and stuff did studies on it. Really? Yeah, because it was seeing what people would do in an actual plague scenario.

They brought it to Orgrimmar. Was it Stormwind? I don't know. It was one of the major cities. But yeah, I remember that. It was a plague and they somehow got the monster out of the dungeon or a rag. Yeah. It was like a world boss.

I think it was a, yeah, it was a world. And they dragged it so fucking far. Yeah. Into the middle of a city and it started killing people. Everyone. And it had a plague that attached.

If you came in contact or near another player, then they were contagious and kills you after X amount of time. So everyone's responding. Then they're near each other. Then there's storm wind and there's NPCs and everything. What? I'm about to pick this up. That's fucking cool. I didn't know about that.

Bro, it's so fucking gangster. Because it was a problem. They had to reset the server. They had to reset the entire server until like a few days before. Yeah, because it literally just wiped out Player Stormwind. Everything went down south on that. And you're like, holy shit.

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The PC Insider's World's Elite MasterCard. The card for living unlimited. Conditions apply to all benefits. Visit pcfinancial.ca for details. Value is for illustrative purposes only. Dude, there's MMO stories. If you want a good time, read on MMO stories. We talked about reading Dwarf Fortress stories too sometime on here.

Yeah, Dwarf Fortress. The story of Murder Boat. It's fucking amazing. That Dwarf Fortress story. I'm playing RimWorld offline too. I'm still playing RimWorld, man. That's my laptop game. I just sit there and turn it on.

I have like 2,000 hours in RimWorld. I love RimWorld so much. Oh, I'm aware because I've synced. Yeah. I still need to play that one. Oh, Project Zomboid just got the multiplayer release, didn't it? Oh, did the multiplayer drop for Zomboid? That's what John was saying, but he's a liar, so I don't know.

Lie to your fathers. Yeah, John. The viewers are watching you. Oh, Dad, I have all my assignments done. I get a teacher from an email missing 12 assignments. You little bastard. Oh, I've seen you playing a lot of Minecraft lately, John. That's not schoolwork.

That's because I'm doing my schoolwork in Minecraft, Father. He would make some shit up like that. I would try to make some shit up like that. Roblox, Dad. Oh, man. Are you winning, son?

Not at school. Yeah. Define winning, father. Define winning. Oh, fuck. I never got in trouble. I was just a shit. Like, I hated school.

I just wanted to do it. I played Final Fantasy. I played EverQuest and Phantasy Star Online. I skipped school and did that, too. I played a lot of WoW in high school and almost failed. See, I didn't. I didn't play, I was all FPSs through high school. It was Call of Duty and Halo, and a little bit of Rainbow,

the older, like Rainbow Six Vegas style shit. What was the other one I was always in? Medal of Honor, SOCOM. SOCOM, US Navy SEALs. Yeah, that game with the USP. Was that when you had the USP? No, the USP, that was in the one like the... Desert Storm?

Was it? Which one you had? You always had a suppressed USP subcompact with the laser on the front. Holy shit. Splinter Cell? Was it Splinter Cell? That was always a good Splinter Cell. It might have been Splinter Cell. It wasn't a cell that was always a good boy game i wasn't a

first person shooter no so i wasn't a first person shooter but yeah you always had the green laser with the knobs and everything oh i saw monster rancher i ordered monster rancher for us to try because we were gonna put porn dvds in and see what monsters come all right so a lot of us have p.o boxes guys we're gonna need you to send us all your favorite porn DVDs. I want backdoor bussies for, let's go! A bussy? A bussy?

With BBW stands for? I want that bus. Girl, show me your bus. Batty loves fat bussies. That's not what that means. Send them all the donut. Wait, don't leave them at your skate shop. Oh, no.

Don't send them to the skate shop. We got backdoor bussies four and five at the skate shop. You better not be peeing. Hold on. bussy's four and five at the skate shop you better not be peeing oh hold on hold on man you guys really wanted me to get a pet makes me want one so bad you know he's a good boy that squirt squirt's not a good boy he's really angry i just can't get rid of you don't bad he got a pet baby i got a pet what'd you get i I got a gecko. What's its name? Its name is Trico. It's a toque gecko.

I love reptiles a whole bunch. I have problems and I've always wanted one. He was excited to tell us he's going to a convention. A reptile convention. It's a herpes convention. I know. It's a terrible. Herpes?

It's called herpes. Herpes? No. I shouldn't have said this. Batty's going to a herpes convention, guys. It's just a fucking reptile. They just have a bunch of crazy exotic animals and shit that are reptiles, and I want to go touch them all.

That place is going to smell like shitty crickets. It's going to smell like just dead crickets. Yeah, I got a tokay gecko, which is they get pretty big. They can be from like a foot to like 16 inches, and they're like crazy neon bright colors and shit, and they bark. That's awesome. I got a barking gecko.

Wait, how? Like when the doorbell rings? It's like my boss. When they're grumpy or at night. You ever go out to the woods at night and you hear frogs and shit chirping? Yeah. It's like that, but they bark real loud. Why would you do that because

i wanted a barking because i was just excited to be like everyone something's wrong with my dog but yeah it's literally like a pokemon like they're called tokay geckos because the sound they make sounds like the word tokay like that's how they bark so i impersonate it no because i know i knew as soon as i brought up you're gonna make me do it i'm gonna do it why it's your animal input sound here party okay betty do it i did i built a terrarium which guess it's a vivarium. I built a terrarium, which I guess isn't the right word. Terrariums for plants and vivariums for animals and plants. But I built this big thing and he lives in there and he's happy.

Is he happy? Did you ask him? I don't know. He's stressed right now. They're going to be stressed for like a week or so after you get them and move them into the new container. Is he stress barking? Is he by himself? Yeah, he's just in there alone. Oh, that's super nice of him.

No, you don't put them together. What? They're super like, they're like hardcore carnivores. Like, motherfucker will just eat other geckos, including ones that look like him. Specifically ones that look like him. Jesus. What happened about a female gecko, if you put it in there?

So I looked into that as well. If you wanna do that, you have to like, put them in separate tanks, but like the glass glass is touching so they can like eyeball each other first because he will fuck her then he will fuck her and then eat her and that's not great he wants that bussy oh no blizzard yeah he wants that techo bussy iie. I got like the angriest, loudest fucking nocturnal bright geckos. I got me in gecko form. It's like you. It's like me.

When's it stream? Like what's its stream schedule? I'm going to find a way to run a camera to the gecko. You should. I'm going to. It's going to happen. I can't put it in the room with my stuff because I also learned that flashing lights and loud sounds are really bad for reptiles they'll just die yeah they die really fast in your stream area one stream actually would die

bad he can't stream anymore why he killed his lizard stress kills reptiles really quick like that's why i wanted to get a chameleon but stress you can't handle them you can't you can't fucking do shit with a chameleon half the time some you can them you can't you can't fucking do shit with a chameleon half the time some you can most you can't they'll just stress out and die jesus i don't know could you imagine being stressed and just being like nah that's what it's technically suicide i mean they won't eat they're just like no i'm gonna just die instead i'm like okay a little fucking drama dude 22 push-ups for your lizard every day so he doesn't every day swag himself as if i'm tired will you help me do 22 push-ups for my lizard dude there's did you ever watch the doc or the

video about the uh asian dude i think he's like cambodian or like thai he swims with his pet alligator or crocodile i almost i looked in in texas you can own crocodiles and alligators you just have to buy a 200 license it's like getting a suppressor which is the he like this crocodile which so i wanted to buy one this is a huge like monster croc like this is a giant crocodile in which he it was shot in the head and he nursed it back to health this is again this is like a giant fucking like man-eating crocodile he nursed it back to health and like let it go and it just hung out by his house and he just sat there and said you saved me i'm yours now said yeah and then he was just now he gets in the water with it and it comes and just like sits next to him

won't attack him doesn't do anything he just chills he gets in the water with it and it comes and just like sits next to him Won't attack him doesn't do anything He just chills with it in the water go swimming with it and it swims off and it comes back Doesn't like other people but here's the only one that it just hangs out and chills with it's it's on YouTube. You're like The documentary? About the grizzly man? Start from the beginning. Oh. A documentary about the grizzly man! Documentary.

A documentary? Yeah. He lived with him, right? Yeah. Until they ate him. Oh, yeah. He, like, raised cubs and shit. Would just hang out with the wild Alaskan grizzlies and shit.

Yeah. And he was great for a long time. Right up until, I believe, his girlfriend watched him get eaten alive. Yeah. On video. By one of his babies? By one of the ones that loved him or something. I don't know.

There's probably a lot more to it. I remember watching this shit when I was 15. Being like, I don't like bears anymore. I don't. Yeah. That's terrifying to me. Like, the idea. There are fucking 500 800 any of

these creatures are like you're looking at a five to two thousand pound creature that can murder you you don't they're like you just gotta earn its trust and i love you no no my gecko will bite me you know what i can do if i get mad i can flick the little fucker and he's gonna fly away a grizzly that loves me so much may love me to death with its teeth and claws until i'm dead did you ever see that picture of the guy that had his face taken off by a grizzly and there's like nothing there yeah wasn't he like in the like just hiking or some shit he got attacked by a grizzly right and it just went yep his entire face removed there's that russian fam those russian there's two russian dudes that were several russ Well, there was like, oh, they're like in a trailer.

In their trailer on like a hilltop. And like, ha ha. And then there's two cubs that come up and start playing. And like, oh, there's two cubs. Grizzly cubs. And then Mama Bear shows up. And then the video ends. It's like it charging at them in their trailer.

And then it ends. God. Russians have a lot of pet bears. They do. I've seen so many videos a lot of pet bears. They do. I've seen so many videos of Russians with pet bears. Russia is wild. Russia is huge. That's why he does bingo with Russia.

Russian beer. That makes sense. Is it going to be a meteor this time or a nuclear meltdown? Who knows? It's Russia. Dude, the dash cam is priceless out of russia everyone everyone has one yeah because there's so much insurance fraud over there i learned that that's why everyone has one yeah because people are like everyone's poor jump out

yeah like a security camera dash cam picks up insurance fraud and some dude just walking out the car stops like completely stops like four feet away and then just like sidestep to the hood did you think that would work like you sons of bitches people are dumb i hate it i saw one the other day where the guy walked up to the car that was completely stopped and just started head butting the the hood dash cam caught every bit of it they're like oh yeah this is part of my life right now how did we get to russia i don't know they do things differently though what is kentucky ballistic what are we discussing um kentucky ballistics put out the video with yes in it today so we talked about last podcast scott got really hurt. Did we talk about?

Yeah, we discussed. Did we talk about our video? No. No, because it was released today. Yeah. But I didn't remember, had we filmed it yet? I don't think we had even filmed it yet. No, I don't think so. We haven't even talked about filming that video.

Yeah, Kentucky got hurt, so we're all rotating out and making videos for his channel. So far, Brandon Herrera and Demolition Ranch have made videos for his channel. And then my video, our video, just came out today. Our video came out today starring Batty, Eli, and who else was in it? Of course, Brandon Herrera, and then Matt Best

showed up. It's pretty good. It's an I Hate Gear Reviews about folding tables. That's a fun one. Scott took some stuff out of it. To be honest, I was surprised he left as much in as he did. To be fair, that video was longer than I expected it to be. There was some good stuff in there.

Yeah. He took out two things. He took out a meme where I put the gun blowing up in his face. We'll be right back. it was the eric andre meme he took that out and then the second thing he took out was eli putting eggplant in a mayonnaise jar because it was like eggplant fine mayonnaise fine on scott's channel put them together and then donut blurred it it perfectly. Not fine. And it wasn't fine either way, apparently.

Blurred or not blurred. Yeah. Eli still ended up taking a bite out of mayonnaise eggplant. That's gross. But it was a fun video to make. I just want to make something very clear. In that little clip, I said, eggplants are great. Just because I wanted Eli to take a bite out of it. I don't like eggplants.

They're awful. It's disgusting. Send eggplants to Batty's P.O. box. Along with your born babies. Your bussy born? Yeah, that bus. Oh, God. That's not what that means. Bussy and eggplants. That's not what that means. Stop it.

What does bussy mean? Men. Is it? It's your butt. Is it it's your back but not your front but is that only for dudes yes so you like buses don't it was a joke it was a joke and then you latched on to it cuz you're old baddie bus makes a shitty joke cuz he heard you onto it because you're old. Batty bus. It's like when your dad makes a shitty joke because he heard you say something once. You're like, dad, stop.

I didn't know. I was just saying go with bus. Stop it, Eli. Stop saying it. You're making it weird. I am uncomfortable. Oh, man. Yeah, the video was good.

It was really good. Brandon got hurt yeah he tore it like so he had to actually go i don't know if he's gonna have to get surgery but he did tear something in his shoulder i remember from swinging a table at an eggplant instantly just injured yeah that sums up this group. We're dumb. Yeah. How did I? I didn't get hurt. I jumped through tables. You almost broke your arm.

I was really close to destroying my arm. I think I would have been fine. Your whole weight coming down on the table. Batty's arm was folded under the table when he jumped on it. And he pulled it out at the last second as he was coming down on it. Yeah, he got lucky. This is like Batty's like, oh like oh i'm gonna jump on these tables and like all the old guys me matt were like why that's what i do why why you can welcome to jagas yeah you cannot pay oh man i was just like looking at that i was like i'd get injured i'd be down for at least two months it's like i don't have insurance anymore let's get the table my body heals so slow right now i was fine i was unbelievably surprised i wasn't

even sore yeah i don't know how i wasn't even drunk okay okay listen you're just eating shit you're like well here's a good skit idea. It's like, is this a skit, Batty? This feels like high school right now. Welcome to Batty. We're going to push you in a grocery cart next. Down a hill. See where the wheel breaks off.

Make you eat shit real quick. See, I've learned concrete bad for anything. Saw that. Which one's that one? Jones. Is that the one that likes bussy? Squirt likes bussy. Okay. Well done.

Correct usage of bussy. Nailed it. Oh my fucking God. Well, on that train wreck of Bussy. Nailed it. Oh my fucking God. Well, on that train wreck of an episode. We'll throw up. We covered Poop, Bussy, World of Warcraft, Tarkov.

Same category. What else did we talk about? Scott. Scott. Chuck Liddell. I'm going to throw a shade at Chuck Liddell. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it.

I'm going to send this clip to him. Chuck struggled to shoot the 50 standing up. Did he? Did he, Donut? I think he did. He did. He had to lay down. I'm just saying.

You hear that, Chuck? Batdie is challenging you to a fight forget jake paul baddie wants to fight you july 4th the ranch bring your silkies he'll wear his american silkies it's going to be a boxing match you versus baddie everyone posts this on his instagram and uh yeah baddie chuck liddell july 4th baddie says quote chuck's a pussy and can't shoot a 50 cal fight me 2021 there we go that's a great way to end an episode i hope he accepts the fight we have at ranch, we put on like a shitty little boxing ring. Batty just gets his ass beat for 30 seconds. Has a stroke in the ring.

Bye. Love you. Guys, check out Batty's streams. General operator. Eli double tap. Le tap leaves the comments do the loves uh and then go spam emotes in this person's channel we love them you