Unsubscribe Podcast - 161 - Brandon Vs Congress & Cryptid Fat Electrician ft. King Trout | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 161

Episode Date: June 3, 2024

OUR BOY IS BACK from the weirdest sidequest ever, the gang talks about the recent Wendigoon hit piece and Cody's dad accidentally kills a gerbil. Watch this episode ad-free and uncensored on Pepperbox! https://www.pepperbox.tv/ WATCH THE AFTERSHOW ON PATREON! https://www.patreon.com/UnsubscribePodcast FREE TO USE MEDIA: (please tag us when you post!) https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1uppmQHMGf8uI2OuOatp932e3S2VGy0PE Featuring  @king_trout   @BrandonHerrera   @DonutOperator   @EliDoubletap  ------------------------------ THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS! GHOSTBED Right now GhostBed is offering 50% off everything if you use the code –UNSUBSCRIBE at checkout or https://www.GhostBed.com/Unsubscribe PURIDY DEBT Get a free debt analysis right now at https://PDSDebt.com/unsub MANSCAPED Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with code UNSUB at https://manscaped.com ------------------------------ FOLLOW TROUT https://www.instagram.com/king_trout https://www.tiktok.com/@king_trout https://x.com/The_King_Trout https://www.youtube.com/@king_trout BUY US A DRINK! https://paypal.me/UnsubscribePodcast ------------------------------ UNSUB MERCH: https://www.bunkerbranding.com/pages/unsubscribe-podcast COMMUNITY SUBREDDIT: https://www.reddit.com/r/UNSUBSCRIBEpodcast/ CHECK OUT: https://outofregz.com/ CODE: UNSUB ------------------------------ WHERE TO LISTEN Spotify https://spoti.fi/2Ye8YOU Apple Podcasts https://apple.co/3cbqY4k Amazon https://amzn.to/2YbzQia Google Play https://bit.ly/2YcWmaD Stitcher https://bit.ly/3cbnY8o ------------------------------ FOLLOW THE HOSTS: Eli_Doubletap https://www.instagram.com/eli_doubletap/ https://www.twitch.tv/Eli_Doubletap https://x.com/Eli_Doubletap https://www.youtube.com/c/EliDoubletap Brandon Herrera https://www.youtube.com/@BrandonHerrera https://x.com/TheAKGuy https://www.instagram.com/realbrandonherrera Donut Operator https://www.youtube.com/@DonutOperator https://x.com/DonutOperator https://www.instagram.com/donutoperator The Fat Electrician https://www.youtube.com/@the_fat_electrician https://thefatelectrician.com/ https://www.instagram.com/the_fat_electrician https://www.tiktok.com/@the_fat_electrician ------------------------------ unsubscribe pod podcast episode ep unsub funny comedy military army comedian texas podcasts #podcast #comedy #funnypodcast #military history Chapters: 0:00 Welcome to Unsub! 3:04 Jake, Play Zach Bryan 4:45 Tiny Guns 3 6:08 Brandon’s Election 23:50 The Chess Debacle 30:34 AD 31:40 Trout’s Ads 35:06 Cryptid Nic 42:22 Meme Movies 46: 35 The Gang Does WW2 50:54 Brandon Hates The Media 54:32 In Praise Of Shadows’ Wendigoon Hit Piece 58:23 AD 59:36 Censorship On YouTube 1:03:41 Tiny Guns 3 1:06:54 Cody Doxxes Everyone 1:11:02 AD 1:12:16 Cody’s Cooking Show 1:17:08 Freedom Of Speech 1:21:34 Sean Strickland 1:22:41 Meet Our New Editor 1:23:52 The Gang Does 1:26:21 We Love You Nic 1:30:17 Trout’s Videos 1:33:08 The Gang Rides A Cow 1:38:45 Podcast Guests 1:40:51 The Gang Fights Beau 1:47:12 Brandon’s Dad Fought A Cat 1:48:42 Cody’s Dad & The Gerbil Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Apparently I'm gay on the internet or whatever. On the internet. Who farted? Bro, we got violent Brandon back. Nobody's a skinhead till it's shower time. You can say what you want now. Say what you like. Brandon's gonna say the N-word.

I can say Nick isn't here. Nick is not here. Eli's watching his life before his eyes. You're the problem with communism. Etc. For two and a half hours.

That last episode, he even said, he was like, I didn't talk about communism that much in that episode. I was like, I think you talked a lot. There was a 35 minute rant about episode. I was like, I think you talked a lot. It was a 35-minute rant about communism. I was watching the episode because I wasn't there for it. I was just watching through it. I'm like, Nick, you almost exclusively talked about communism. I think I got right shut out of the text.

I was like, I really didn't talk about communism that much. He did talk about the Weiraboos a lot, which now that he's here, I can say that German tanks were most definitely better than American tanks. Since he's not here. We only talk shit about our friends when they aren't here. Like real men. Speaking of Jake's... You're doing great.

Oh wait, we gotta do the intro. We gotta do the intro. Can I have two more, please? Can I have five? It's nearly noon. It's's 11 57 in the morning nearly noon there's one they're cooling down so oh that's a great way to say they're warm yeah nothing better than a hot claw on a wednesday morning we sound terrible it's wednesday at 11 o'clock and we're doing this we wouldn't normally be

doing this if you didn't have a flight later i know oh fuck i know this is the earliest podcast we've ever done we wouldn't be doing this right now yeah for sure three two one synchronicity always gets me hi everyone welcome to the unsubscribed podcast i'm joined today by eli double fat brandon herrera and king trout myself donut operator thank you so much for being It's me. Hi, everyone. Welcome to the Unsubscribe Podcast. I'm joined today by Eli DoubleFap, Brandon Herrera, and King Trout, myself, Donut Operator. Thank you so much for being here. Bye-bye. Now you can leave. See you guys later.

Okay. Right here. You got some cum in your mustache. Dude. Yeah, there you go. God damn it, Brandon. What? Now you don't like it.

You're on your knees begging for it two hours ago now you got dried cum in your mustache it's a big deal two large black men 69ing by Zach Bryan Jake

Jake plate one guy puts his dick in another guy's dick in his foreskin filling it up like a balloon by Zach Bryan it's one of my favorites we'reskin, filling it up like a balloon by Zach Bryan.

It's one of my favorites. We're going to have to bleep like a half of a man. In that first 30 minutes. The guy's just like, Welcome to YouTube. Welcome to the demonetized episode of the Unsubscribe podcast. Uncle Trout's in the house and he's drunk and horny.

So, there is a story behind what are Zach bryan songs i think we mentioned it on the podcast but i'm not sure yeah there's more lore to it now though so if you guys don't know jake watson from corridor digital he's our attorney and we're coming back from a live show and he just wanted to listen to zach bryan and we started saying shit like was it it's a two-hour drive it was yeah we were driving back from austin and sorry this is i'm doing my thing where i interrupt cody no it's fine keep going okay stop talking boy on our way back from austin he wanted to play

dolly parton when we're all drunk at like 1 30 in the morning we're like stop being gay dolly might be good not the time after our live show we're all shit at like 1.30 in the morning, we're like, stop being gay. Dolly might be good. Not the time. After our live show, we're all shit wrecked. Yeah. Leaving Austin. So I requested the song Leaving Austin by Zach Bryan. Jake took issue with that.

Go on. Oh, yeah. So we just started screaming. We made him so mad. Because he's like, Zach Bryan's gay. Yeah. And so. In my foreskin by Zach Bryan.

Jake, play four men having an o*** coming on each other by Zach Bryan. He's getting so mad. That dude got mad. It takes a lot to get Jake mad, but we... That is not true. I'm a master of pushing that boy's butt.

Wow, we're really good for it. You guys had a long car ride. Dude, hotel rooms get cold at night. That's all I'm a master of pushing that boy's butt. Wow, we're really good for it. You guys had a long car ride together. Dude, hotel rooms get cold at night. That's all I'm saying. Sometimes you need the embrace of an attorney to keep you warm in the New Mexico desert at night. Then you forget they're all cold-blooded. Yep. Hey.

All sorts. I call him the group's dad, and he's only like six years older than me. On the last podcast, we talked about how we did the World War II skit. We did Tiny Guns 3 for Corridor Digital. Trout and Jake did a 20-hour road trip together to get the costumes for the skit. Those uniforms. That's an insane drive. They're like, yeah, we're flying out this day.

I was like, I hate fucking drive. I hate, despise road trips. They're my least favorite thing. So thank you guys for doing that. Anytime. We were just worried we were going to get pulled over with an SUV full of SS uniforms. Which, while sketchy, not illegal. Welcome to America.

We love the First Amendment. You would probably be tossed under the jail in Germany. Cody, if you pulled somebody over and they were in SS uniforms. He would high five them. And they're like, where are you going? To Texas? He's like, you're late for the meeting. Hurry up.

I'll give you a police escort. They keep walking up. The cop's like, get out of here. And then that guy's like, what? The other police officer's like, oh, that was Donan Operator? He's like, who? Just let the Nazi drive away. We keep coming up with skits after we don't have the fucking

uniforms anymore. We can always use the one in our closet. Cody Sunday's best. I love being able to say funny jokes again. This is going to be my favorite part. Not that I ever really stopped. Brandon lost by 1%.

Less, right? Yeah, it depends on how you measure it. But yeah, it was less than 51-49. Which is, for reference, it's like 400 votes? Yeah, 400 out of like 30,000. Yeah, so it's your fault because you didn't go out and vote. Yeah, it's actually 300 of your faults If you're in district 23 and you didn't vote, this is all your personal responsibility

I hope you enjoy the next two years sons of bitches my bad. Oh Yeah No, I mean honestly like if I can do the quick spiel real quick No we actually You know wrote these questions out for you because but go the quick spiel because it was the idea of like brandon's election this entire time you guys have been on this journey it's been wild it's been wild this entire experience has been fucking amazing it's been hell i've really hated pretty much every part of it but i did get to meet a lot of amazing

people i've got a lot of new people that i call like very good friends and uh really we we did what was almost fucking impossible. Like taking on an incumbent is hard. Taking down an entrenched incumbent like Tony Gonzalez was, a very well funded one, one of the best funded incumbents in the state of Texas, nearly impossible, let alone to do it while being outspent 10 to 1 by someone with no political experience, a fucking YouTuber who says, come on the internet. That should have never happened. We should have never won through the primary,

let alone go into a runoff where we lose by like 400 votes. This will be studied in poli sci for the next decade. This is such a fucking anomaly. I cannot stress how grateful I am of the entire team. Posting almost won an election it's that it's so fucking close like it was like it's alarming how close that was he spent 10 million dollars combating being cyber bullied by us retards well dude it was crazy and then watching as you said you're under 30 you're doing a political. You're fighting an entrenched incumbent.

And then also I learned I hate politics even more than I thought I hated politics. Same. For corruption. You're like, what the ever? It's like, oh, it's just lying. That is all you have to do to get where you need to be. It's lying and spending a mass amount of money. Yep.

Mass amount of money. To push lies. And known lies, really. And then when I found out congressmen get fucking pensions, dude, you should have heard my three-hour drunken rant about that. It's a fucking public service. So I don't understand. Like, okay, so a typical working man needs to do 20 years to get a pension, right?

All right, if you want a congressional pension, 20 years sounds fair to me. I don't want you there for that long. In fact, I'd love term limits, so you shouldn't fucking be there. But if you want a pension, you need to do the same time as blue-collar guys. Six years. Six years. Five years. Something like that. It's three terms. And then three terms, you get a fucking six-digit pension for life. And you get benefits and all

that stuff. Public service. That's wild, man. You've got to be a cop for 25 years to get a pension. I mean, it's our major. Yeah, but they don't do actual service like congressmen what do they do serve their community or something boo god dang dudes it's it's it's sickening it's like the people that are in charge are voting

to give themselves you know golden parachutes and that i don't know and you like you it for all of you that didn't you weren't like us and watching it so brandon's doing his youtube channel doing the podcast doing the live shows at that time too because it's still going on and then watching you if you want to see a phone going off or meeting after meeting or how much you traveled because monday for reference how many uh places did you go mond Monday for your like uh talks you had that one was easy because it was just Barron Medina County but we had four different uh campaign events like speeches rallies uh on top of all the media we were doing already on top of like you said the podcast live shows your own channel uh yeah the YouTube and uh also like running a gun company

also yeah owning a successful business at the same time. You were fucking, dude. Busy, dude. I thought you were going to die there for a minute. So did my doctor. So did my heart. Thanks, cocaine. We powered through!

Brandon. Yeah, I almost had to go on the diet of the typical service worker fucking cigarettes and coke but no you just turn into King Trout hey now I also drink beer I was gonna say you can't deny doing coke with those

glasses on my parents watch this I'll deny everything I already said the six letter F word and cum four times but I'm like I've never done cocaine my parents watch this. I'll deny everything. I already said the six letter F word and come four times, but I'm like, I've never done cocaine. We don't do drugs. No,

it's actually kind of rough because I like, even during all of this, I quit Adderall a long time ago. So I was doing all this all natural, which is shit. You're just raw dog in it. Raw dog in life. Well,

I had minus with boots. Yeah. Some, some, some help, something something to something to keep the shakes away it was like so what your drives you drive what max like 10 hours six hours on some of your like to do talks and so the people don't realize how big district 23 is it's the biggest district in texas it is the hardest district to campaign in texas because i go from my home in san antonio and drive seven and a half hours west. I have not hit the end of my district.

See, that's for... It's like the size of Massachusetts. Oh, way bigger. That is like five Massachusetts. Yeah, one district. District 23 is like the size of England, right? It's the size of like a handful of states. Yeah. Dude, England?

Yeah, that's crazy. You're like... Half the states in the country or something? You'd be a king. It's your just district to run that shit yeah i mean it's uh it's all the way from san antonio to el paso and everything south like all along the border the entire mexican border essentially with texas you're like i want to choose hard mode the largest district and the one with the most problems see that's the thing i didn't choose didn't choose it. I just lived there and decided, wow, I really don't like the way my congressman's voting. So I did something about it. Have we ever told the Yellowstone story? I don't

think we ever have. And I am glad we waited until after. Yeah, I know. I don't know this story. No, I'm like, wait. Brandon ran for Congress because him and I. Well, we looked into it because of this.

We looked into it a little bit more. But the idea started when Brandon and I got really drunk and we're watching Yellowstone one night. And John Dutton, he became the governor of Montana. And I was like, bro, we should do something like this. Because he was just kind of a g in office just you know i am not progress i am the stone that progress bashes against like some shit like that yeah that's and so we said we were both gonna run and then i was like all right you're fucking much better spoken than me and you're much smarter than me so i'll just back you and use my social media to help you

and that's that's where it all started and that's where you became the sleep paralysis demon you wake up and you can't move and you want to scream and there's just a shadowy figure in the corner he's like you're fucking gay dude that's it he's just on the wall on the ceiling he's just whispering you're gay he crawls out of the closet. I just came out of the closet. Crawling up the wall. About time you did. You almost. But it always starts with, hi, everyone.

Not again. Not again. No, no, no, no, no, no. Make a horror movie from Tony Gonzalez's perspective of donut haunting him. The door opens. It's like a meat canyon. Tony against the wall. Or Tony against the wall just gripped on, it's like a meat canyon like tony against the wall or

tony against the wall just gripped on looking around like a lizard yeah it's a game god but no i mean what what was funnier too is on top of that we were like look we could actually like we could probably pull it off and i'm like look at my district and that's when i really got interested because i've always been like in politics but like looking into the votes of tony and like looking into a lot of that stuff that's where i started getting like genuinely ticked off but what was funnier is we said that look this was right after the elections on in november uh in 2022 we're like dude if john fetterman can get elected. That man is a literal stroke victim. He's actually Fetterman's monster.

Fetterman was the scientist. Oh my god. Anyway, while you're ahead, I'm out. Good night, everybody. Please put up a picture of Betterman for that. Because if you're not a political junkie, that was the funniest shit I've heard all day. Oh, my God. Jesus Christ.

You peaked. I saw somebody talking about him. Damn, it's only been like 15 minutes. I saw somebody talking about him because he's been getting more conservative lately and taking some like oddly conservative, you know, stances for a Democrat. And somebody said, damn, homie must have had a stroke of genius. Fucking internet. It'll never lose. Jesus Christ. I love being able to make these jokes again you're like it's back oh thank god we got our friends back guys say the naughty words i'm free it was gonna be a weird time for if you won we were like okay where's the line now because we have no idea you're like active

sitting congressman would you like i would have just like if there was anything super edgy being said i'll still sit here i just want chase to like blur me out punch into just my face when i talk about bringing out the guillotines it's just blurred is really hilarious because it doesn't change it turns on and it turns off after the conversation's literally it's like we know it's brandon there doesn't matter good luck putting that shit in a mailer shit cody's talking about the blacks again i think when you said the there was really no way to make that good cody's talking about black people. Cody's talking about the blacks. What sounds way more... Every time I'm driving through, you know, San Antonio with Cody, I'm like,

no, they're called people of color now. Not the other way around, Cody. But look at their skin! We all get blurred out. It just gets so wide, all of us get blurred out. It's okay, my wife's black she goes to a different school it's okay my wife's black she's from Canada so like you probably

would never meet her but meanwhile Dylan Johnson like hmm really should I know who this is wait a minute hold on no this is great content the TikTok guy no i just got his nose is great content uh the the tiktok guy or the guy who does the the reels and fights animals like fights yeah yeah yeah uncle dj oh yeah yeah uncle dj yeah okay oh damn i used his fucking government name yeah that's why

i didn't recognize him yeah all of us are just like oh my god if i got your name wrong i'm so fucking sorry. But I thought that's what it was. Sorry, I actually know you for who you are. No, only pretend internet friends. I still have you as King Trout on my phone. That's fine. Everyone does.

I go to like, I type in Connor all the time. Connor, like, who's the, oh, yeah, I am the King, maybe. My phone doesn't recognize. Yeah, I came down. Nobody knew my actual, like my my slave name and uh i was just i had an inside joke to myself that i was gonna find out which one of you leaked it first and it was this fucker yeah surprise i know i would have never done that well i typed in connor on twitter and it pops up 18 times cody i was drunk yeah look i make accidents sometimes like

like leaking administrative results face before anyone. Multiple times. Yeah. Sometimes my vlog edits get a little sloppy, and I apologize, but no one called on to it until after. There was one comment that was like, was that administrative results? And I deleted it immediately. No one ever said anything. That one guy knew.

He was like yeah anyway cody's address is one two three four racist lane don't tell them where i'm telling them It was a joke. He went, fuck. This was his address? It's actually real. It's real. It's a Google car. Cody's just standing out front watching the Google car drive by. He's just examining the driver.

The cross burning in my front yard. Jesus Christ. Hi, I'm Tara Schmidt, a registered dietitian and host of On Nutrition, a podcast for Mayo Clinic, where we dig into the latest nutrition trends and research to help you understand what's health and what's hype. There's a lot of wild stuff out there, so we'll be keeping it science-based, research-informed, and practical. Mayo Clinic's On Nutrition, new episodes every other week, wherever you get your podcasts.

Hey, how's it feel not running for Congress? So much better. Hey, what was one of the, I know you've shown some clips. I don't know if you ever did it here. Some of the people that would get mad or the craziest story during your political, you had that one, was it a woman that just got up and left?

Oh, I had a fucking psycho lady. Oh, she was there. Crazy dude. She was legit insane, like schizophrenic. Yeah. He showed me or you just got told me about it. But that's where you get to see how people cannot rationally behave or even just like comprehend. It's like I should listen to somebody talk.

This lady might have had a real mental illness. Did we tell the story on here yet? I don't think so. So yeah, Brandon and I, it was a town hall event at a library. And Brandon and I walk out of the bathroom. And this lady is like, did you know that these water fountains taste different? And if you look there, this water fountain says 1111. I forgot about that. And my son is in the air force and we're like uh ma'am that's uh in unison she's like well can

you can you explain that we're both like it's probably the filter like almost at the same fucking time yeah and she's well i just don't know i did you go to church this morning i know i did like ma'am it's Tuesday. Yeah. The fuck are you talking about? But anyway, we go in there and we're just, we're just super polite to her. And we're like, yeah,

we don't know what's going on. Sorry to hear about the water tasting different. And, and then we, yeah, we go into the event. So I'm speaking and it's probably a room with like maybe 80 people in it and something like that in the library.

And, uh, I, I make the mistake of saying the word dude. Yeah. As I was saying like, Oh yeah, there's some bad dudes coming across something like that like i'm referencing something we're talking about um how uh at the southern border there are like islamic terrorists coming across the border currently who've been caught and shit like that and like yes they're grabbing these dudes and blah blah she's like she goes off she's like dudes call them what they call them what they fucking are they're terrorists and i i've heard i've heard enough and like just she

goes this country is about to be in a civil war yeah and it was in the middle of his speech she just stood up and started screaming this shit it's like she was acting like i was afraid to say the word terrorist i'm like okay terrorists i was just it's like basically a pronoun at that point i what and uh yeah she she just like had a big schizo fit say it said the same like things over and over which is why i'm like thinking actual mental illness maybe like yeah oh she was she was saying the same like my son is in the air force i went to church this morning like those were kind of her tics almost oh just repetitive talking yeah and then she uh she stormed out after cursing all of us out. Yeah.

Got a round of applause on her way out. Well, because I leaned over and I said, excuse me, ma'am, there's bumper stickers. Fucking everybody just started laughing. Just hit her with a one-liner. Hey! Let him cook. Love a Wendy. I love, uh,

I fucking, I loved getting to handle people like that. Oh, hey, would you like to see the video of it? I don't know if the audio is good enough. Oh, it's not? Damn it, Jamie almost pulled it up. Jamie, pull up a picture of, that blurry picture of Sasquatch. We gotta keep them visually entertained. Jamie, Jamie, pull up subway surfers.

Split the video vertically and put subway surfers on the top half. Or that video game where the trucks are going down the ramps. Jamie, play me and my gay Zach Bryan. Yeah, dude, if you could play four bodybuilders pissing on each other about Zach Bryan, that would be really great.

The more lord of that last night I was talking to Jake about that and we were bullshitting about that whole thing I said you know we were about to get one of our friends who was good at AI music to literally make like me and my big gay a** by Zach Bryan and give it to you and just send it over to you

and he's like you know I can do that you know I can do that in like a couple hours I will fucking have that for you i love our team somehow the straightest zach bryan song well no i think it did come up before because i remember i think i was listening to it and nick was like yeah and then we did this and this and i was like you motherfucker nick was passed out that entire bus trip back he woke up for buckies and then went back to bed nick gosh i mean he was on here because he kept pounding he remember that was the one oh yeah that boy's got a loose throat you know what i'm saying with everyone i was like oh man he is going fuck that that is gonna hurt in the morning then we

had to apologize to jake when we got back here from the end of the bus ride because he was genuinely pissed he immediately stormed out the back door my favorite part of that was his line where he's we're just like yeah jake sorry we went a little far on that or whatever he's just like man i i haven't been bullied like that since high school welcome to the party bus yeah i got him i had to apologize to him last night too about after the chess last night this is we we were at brandon's after party we were uh doing the event watching the numbers getting tallied, and then we all came back. Everyone was pretty drunk, and then Connor decided to play chess. I wanted to play my friend Eli Double Tap here in a game of chess. I know that he's very good at chess.

So we sat down, and we played a game of chess, and he kicks ass. Granted, I was hammered drunk, drunk as was eli so we were both working under a handicap uh came pretty close and then i realized about five moves away from checkmate i was gonna lose so i conceded the match for some reason lawyer jake took great issue with this i can't remember what he said he called me like a quitter or you're just gonna give up and then i i went into you know my my natural response when i'm confronted at all is to start yelling at people and so i got a little fired up a little fired up and i was like jake no matter what i do i'm going to lose this match so because you just because you just you just all you had was your king at the time right this is not i I had like a king, a rook, and one pawn.

So we played, and you played with Jake. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That is what happened. I remember. I played Jake afterwards. I skipped an entire step on this thing. Again, there was some alcohol involved. If you want to know, you just skipped that.

He played chess with Jake, which led into this. Okay, I was playing with Jake. I mean, we had the entire bar to ourselves. And we drank it. So, played Eli. Eli beat me. Then I played Jake. It's all coming back to me.

And then after, did we have sex? There was a little bit of cum involved by Zach Bryan. Might have been a mustache. That's what that was. So, rewind. Back to the chess game with Jake. I played him. I realized I was like five moves away from defeat so i conceded the match as is standard operating procedure in a game of chess he had a litter if

you want to know how many pieces trout had he had a king and two pawns pawn was at a four oh god nobody knows this eli that was no there's like three guys coming right now. Like, no, talk more about chess. Chess, chess, chess, chess. And you know, we just edged those three people. No, why do you stop? Go back to chess. Not today. So you told me where the king was.

So I conceded the match as standard operating procedure in a fucking chess match. Jake got pissed because apparently he wanted to put me in checkmate, which conceding the match, you've won. Congratulations. Shake my hand like a goddamn man, you coward. He got mad. So I went off on him. I was like, what do you want me to do?

You want me to finish out the fucking match? Like, you've won. You've clearly won. He was like, oh, oh, you're confronted at all. And now you got to start yelling. I was like, yeah, that's what I do. I lost the match. I'm giving it up to you shake my hand you coward he wanted to see the light leave your eyes yeah every time i start yelling i love how eli checks the levels but

okay everyone's peeking i see red i see red okay and then he stormed off he got a little got a little salty i went over to apologize to him. I came back over to the board, remembered what had just happened. He looked at it. He remembered what had just happened. He got upset at me again. Eli was sitting on the other side of the board in Jake's position when he was playing. And I was like, Eli, let's finish the fucking match.

So I did the three moves until it was in checkmate. I was like, did you get what you want, Jake? Did you get what you want? Are you happy now? All over a chess match you missed a lot last night, yeah I thought you meant that happened at the bar. No. Yeah, we were playing chess at the bar I'm like, did you motherfuckers bring a chess set to the bar? No, we totally should. Why can't I get hosed? You should totally do that next time.

It makes me look intellectual. You're like, fuck. Sorry, I'm still just getting... It's very fresh. The results are like 12 hours fresh, so I'm still getting texts left and right. Oh, God, I bet. Texts from lots of interesting people. How's Matt Gaetz today?

He's doing great. Actually, he wasn't one of them. Some interesting people. We can't show it. Hitler. He's like, meet me in Buenos Aires on Thursday. Well, he was going to say he's about 80 years

expired, but he's 150 years old. He's got that secret Nazi going to say, he's about 80 years expired, but... He's 150 years old. He's got that secret Nazi serum, dude. He's down there. Jack. The same shit Tom Cruise has.

Adrenochrome. Brings the... Brings the Cody guy. We will get along just fine. Let me show you my lock. You have no idea

how much that's such a good opener just like meeting new people. You put all your cards out. It's such a good opener just like meeting new people you put all your cards out it's no it's just it's just like it's such a fucking good like litmus test to see if someone's gonna be cool or not find a nice jewish girl get her number you know i was the prop master on tiny guns three so i made that thing and when i finished it i opened it and then i literally sat there and laughed for like two fucking hours.

Just to lock it with a picture of Hitler is instant comedy. Yeah. If you don't laugh at that, then fuck you. If you have, like, on your deathbed, a new kid or anything in your future life. If you have a new wife, you just never tell her what's in that locket. Never show her what's in that locket. She gets it on her debt, like when you die.

So when she opens that locket for the first time, after 50 years, she's like, what did he hold so precious? It's a Hitler. We need to throw that locket into like a local city time capsule. It's like the journal I keep under my bed. It's just drawings of dicks.

So then when I die, they're going to be like, I wonder what his thoughts were about. This guy thought about cocks a lot. Yeah, that checks out. Can you just make one for all of us now? What's this all just get matching tattoos? It's all just L's and if you put them together it's... Is that one

like that one? Oh god! You actually got that? Fuck! I had a troubled past. Apparently. Did you get that in prison? I was just about to say, you go in prison, you start dividing people up by the color of their skin real quick.

That's how you stay safe. Jesus Christ. Nobody's a skinhead until it's shower time. Chase is just like, God damn. Chase, cut to a Manscaped commercial. We'll be right back after these messages.

All alone? Time to trim the old pubes. Hey there beach babe! Are you ready to soak up those summer vibes and get the perfect beach bod? I don't have pants on. Yeah, I noticed. Well you're in luck, cause our friends over at Manscaped.com have you covered from head to toe. With the Performance Package 5.0 Ultra, they'll have you looking and feeling good this summer. Trust Manscaped to unlock the confidence you need to turn heads

this summer season. Join the 10 million men who already trust Manscaped and use discount code UNSUB at checkout to get 20% off your order plus free shipping. Let's make this summer your smoothest one yet. Save me. Keep your ear and nose as tidy as your hedges with the Weed Whacker 2.0 Ear and Nose Head Trimmer. You'll be looking classy as ever. The updated Lawn Mower 5.0 Ultra Groin and Body Hair Trimmer got a summer makeover.

It's waterproof now. For all those times you need to shave your groin or body hair at a pool party. So get 20% off plus free shipping using code on some at manscape.com. The summer sun is here to stay. So trust manscape to keep those pubes at bay. Chase plate. Chase plate.

Me and my big gay. Speaking of manscape, the lawnmower 4.0 will shave your asshole very nicely for another man to put in it while you listen to zach bryan this is what we get to deal with chase put on don't forget to work the balls when you're by zach bryan make sure your beard is nicely trimmed so you don't hurt the other man's penis by zach very intricate detailed song titles you're like okay and then the cd covers just like these long ass names that's what your thought is the cd cover i know mine is immediate is like how would that look font wise what font is it how long are the titles

like one two three four it's like an iambic pentameter this is how your brain went my brain immediately was like you know when you're having sex with a woman who has recently shaved her pubes? And then it's like sandpaper on you? That was where my brain went. And you were like, fonts, CDs. We aren't built this way.

Trout horn gear! It's going to be called the gay racism episode, dude. That's all of them. I might be gay and you can't prove I'm not. Yet. Well, I don't know. Those ads are getting pretty.

Yeah. Might be able to prove you are. Well, you got that. You recorded that. Well, when was it? I had like when when we did the the Adam and Eve ad that was I was like, you don't have to wear the outfit because I laughed at it in my head. And then he's like, no, and Sav had an extra.

And you're like, yeah, I'll wear it. I don't know what's funnier, the part that you volunteered for it or the part that Sav's clothes fit you perfectly? Listen, our tits are the same size. Clearly. I didn't even think about that. same size. Clearly, clearly. I didn't even think about that.

Take it, take it. No, I put it on. Sorry. I just thought about it, sorry. I put it on. It fit nice. It felt good. It felt right. It felt like I was finally myself for the first time in my life.

And then when I was rolling around in that bed being sexy for being sexy for eli yeah things just lined up for me personally so i guess this is where i hard cut to you just in a dress it's like hi guys sorry chase that you had to get the entire memory card for that um the ad only took about four minutes to film there was 37 minutes on the card he's like four terabytes for an ad like yeah we did a little photo shoot the the funnest one was like okay put your legs up like this and hold it and i'm gonna put the camera because i have to film it so just have that camera like right up on trout he's like are we really doing it's like uh-huh i was like don't worry we don't see your dick or anything because he was in a skirt. Yep.

So it's just like, I'll just frame it like right here. Okay. And good. He's like, what's the image? I showed him his just legs up. Yeah. You know the image. Oh, yeah. It's fucking.

I'm just, that's intimate. Yeah. Memories. Does he, like, like said, if he makes you do this all the time, you can tell us. We can have a company meeting. This will be the second vote we ever take. Yeah. You need to speak to HR, bud.

No, it's fine. He's so big. It's that Brazilian jiu-jitsu, dude. You get that big boy greased up writing about communism, he'll pin you down! Oh, you literally hit him with the oil up. Yep. Oh, I hate that image. Nick oiled up walking around whitey tighties.

Just grabbing dudes. That's horrifying. It was the most horrifying. Do you know what we're gonna talk about, Greg? What are we gonna talk about? That's horrifying. You know, it was the most horrifying. I can do worse. It's Nick in a tank top and only a tank top. Winnie the Pooh. Dude, that's my favorite joke.

In the woods. When you're about to be fucking drifted. Walking around in the woods and just that tank top has Winnie the Pooh on it. It's the new Slender Man. Every time you turn around, he's closer. That scatty sound.

He can't move unless you're staring at him. The jump scare? You make eye contact with his dick and he gets closer to you. The Winnie the Pooh will never not be funny to me. if you're about to be intimate with a a partner we'll call them this is apparently i'm gay on the internet or whatever um on the internet yeah stop it uh just next time yeah well this is my recommendation to any gentleman out

there if you're about to be intimate with, with a lady, uh, tell her you'll be right back. You're going to get more comfortable, whatever, you know, your line, go in the bathroom, dude,

take off all your clothes except for your shirt and your socks. And then come back out and just continue as normal. There will be so uncomfortable. It's impossible to be horny when you're wearing a shirt like dude button-up shirt no pants on a dude the worst look on a chick it's like 11 out of 10 actually fair that's a double standard uh yeah oh my god yeah i never thought about however i would say button-up is probably better than t-shirt. T-shirt is just straight up Winnie the Pooh. He's coming out covered in honey.

How to make women not horny by King Trout. They just come around the corner. Oh, bother. How to pick up women at a bar. You approach them and you say, I bet I can run faster than you. You said the other day, you're like, I come from a long line of slow women and strong men i got i got that norse blood in me thank you

oh there we go poop tea oh those those things are poop tea oh now i get the joke the sweeties yeah i wasn't here for the first time now i see the poop tea thing dude the peach take a sip of that one too because they're fucking they all. I feel bad with the amount of beverages we're supposed to drink. Are you guys sponsored by them and you're trying to? No, we're not. Okay. That's why we call it poop tea. Fair enough.

So in the comments, they get to just read poop tea. Like, fuck, why do I keep doing this? How many social media managers have we sent to therapy, you think? I would say one more. Bullying people into it. I know that poor 22-year- old sitting there that manages their stuff. It's like, why do they keep calling it poop? Ranchwater.

We bullied them into sending us crates of trout. We back in the day, it was talking about ranchwater and then telling people to go and comment on their stuff and still until they sponsored us. So they spent like four pallets of ranch water. This is like Cody's house was just the entire front was covered. We had ranch water for weeks. You know that's why I'm here, right? Ranch water? No, weaponizing

my fans. This is all I'm here for. No, the unsubscribed podcast posted a tweet and it was like who would you like to see as our next guest? And so I went on Instagram and I was like, everybody go on the unsubscribed podcast Twitter and comment that you want me on an episode. And then I got a DM from Michelle like four days later. And here we are.

To be honest with you, though, I had already known who you were for a long time. I've been watching your shit for a while. It's the right kind of skit, though. Subscribe to my OnlyFans. I saw you in fucking Sav's clothes. It's a good look. Put me in a skirt, bro. My balls hanging out the bottom.

I think you showed me his content. I'm pretty sure. Look at this skit so fucked. And then we invited him out to SHOT Show. And that's like, I think that was, was that the first time we hung out? No. No, we hung out before that.

I think it was an episode of Unsubscribed. You've only been to one SHOT Show, right? Yeah. Okay, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was way before that. Oh, was it? Yeah, I came to, I stayed here with Nick. Yeah.

Yeah, you did, like. This is your first episode episode, though, right? I think I've been on before. Yeah, no, I was on before. What are we at? 158? Yeah, 150 show? What are we, 158? YouTube in general episodes?

We're getting up there. We've got to do something real fucking special for 169. Oh, yeah. We'll get it done. We'll be dead by 420, so that doesn't matter. Yeah. Unless this is still going, making a lot of money at that point. Everything goes the way I planned.

I'll be dead tomorrow. Same. Did you guys watch... Public crippling defeat to the tune of millions of dollars? See y'all in the gift shop. Is that what you call heaven? The gift shop? Don't forget to tip your waitress.

Wendigoon will find that joke particularly funny and I cannot say why. They? Oh, I remember that story. Yeah. Yeah. I'll find out after these messages. Exclusively on Pepperbox.

No. No. That's a private friend's story. Sorry, everyone. We'll go to prison. Yeah. Oh, fuck. My brain just wiped.

Uh-oh. It reset. I'll read notes. Did not help. I was like, what is my brain doing? And it's just like, nah, dog. I'm going to gonna control it delete that is my fucking autopilot mode eli just blue screened in front of us

you get all of a sudden you just like revert back to the red 40 stare remember um i'm sorry all the the sewer slide jokes made me think of this. You remember Dane Cook? Unfortunately, yes. Yeah, he was sort of funny sometimes, but he actually said something really funny one time where he's talking about, you know, if I'm ever going to go out, I'm going to run into a crowded subway train

and put a gun against my head and say, who fucking farted? Who fucking farted? It just whacks my brain out. Just dramatically. The news, when they're interviewing those people, it's like, I don't know. He just ran in and like, he just said, who farted? And I accidentally did right before his.

Yeah, she still got blood. Somebody farted and they just blamed themselves for the rest of their life. That's some hell of a strange survivor deal. Dumping gasoline on yourself. Oh, fuck. I was specifically thinking of the scene from Airplane, where the Arab guy is just dousing himself in gasoline because

the guy's just talking too long next to him. I need to watch that movie again. It's been like 20 years. Yeah. I mean, it was what? 1977? Yeah, it's considered one of the funniest movies of all time. Yeah.

Remember? Remember like it was yesterday. Very different kind of humor. Oh, yeah. That slapstick Leslie Nielsen. Yeah. I like gangster movies. I love Leslie Nielsen.

Like, what's the fugitive? And then he had... Naked Gun. Naked Gun. Naked Gun. What's the fugitive? And then he had. Naked gun. Naked gun. Naked gun. What was the fugitive? The fugitive. Fugitive was Harrelson Ford.

Yeah, Harrelson Ford and Tommy Lee Jones. So, and then Leslie Nielsen had a version of that where he's on the run from cops. It was like one of the dumbest scenes and I used to find it hilarious. Like he's running from the train. He's on a train track and the chains are like chasing him and they did the legs to the side. So it's like the old cartoon and he runs off the train track and he's like, wait, I can just get off the train track. Then the train gets off the train track and starts chasing him through the

forest. And then the engine stops. He doesn't hear anything. It's like looking around. He's breeze. He's like, and he looks and there's a tree. So he's like peeking out from the tree. And then the train peeks out from the tree and then the train like uh like uh hot shots like the the charlie sheen uh parody of top oh yeah dude my favorite

scene from that is when they're army crawling through the field low crawling through the field and he like comes across like a like a set of leather boots and he it does that like camera whip up like pan up and it's just a pair of boots in the middle of a field and he crawls by him oh god yeah because the second one was like a rambo spoof oh yeah i might be remembering a different movie then no i was thinking a homeward bound what no that's the one with the that's the one with the dog that gets yeah yeah yeah yeah sorry it's all good rip cats the cat yeah homeward back watch do you remember that one oh they all live this is a two dogs and the cat yeah they all live oh yeah they did live the last one the last dog that like helps the other dog get i hate i remember this goddamn movie they helped the other dog get i was like i'm too old he's like i helped you and they're like he's gone and they're like shadow

and then the boy's like shadow where's shadow and then right when the boy's like the dog comes over that like dirt road and then runs up and he's like shadow you're here thank you i hate that i remember that i haven't seen that since first vhs how does this make you feel all those animals are dead bad c. It makes us feel bad. Airbond's dead! Airbond's dead! The next merch shirt is all three of them, and it just says dead on there. I was like, why

would you wear that? I was just speaking the truth. Cody's over there looking at 1920s footage of the clans. How does it make you feel that they're all dead? Don't feel good.'s like watching war footage it's hitler giving a speech like well he's dead he opens his locket and cries a single tear for all the bad he did you do have to give hitler credit for killing hitler

do that yeah oh that's that's the one joke i wanted to put in because at one point i will do a video on like the gun that killed hitler it's basically like like a german made uh walter i believe yeah it was a ppk and uh i wanted to throw out james bond carried correct but they uh i wanted to do a bit where it's like man this is the gun that killed hitler and i'll tell you what the guy who killed hitler is a big inspiration for a lot of us just keep throwing out jokes for those who don't understand history at all well big fan of the guy who killed hitler you know he had a lot of good ideas i think more people should listen to the guy who killed hitler like just keep throwing those fucking one-liners out there man i love that i get to make funny jokes i will say watching that new pepper box uh episode that just came out about tiny guns 3 that was

fucking it would have been bad no yeah did you watch it not yet i have the link i haven't seen it yet dude it is comedy gold you've watched it yeah yeah it's funny as hell enemy aircraft incoming Yeah, yeah, it's funny as hell. Enemy aircraft incoming! Gun jams, misfires, blows up. PTSD. Jesus, Captain, they're at set. Hey, can you do me a solid and let Commander know we need a garrison? We're going to be attacking this objective.

My squad leader won't put down outposts. Did you get him on? No, he's got middle school gym teacher calves on him. My squad leader won't put down an outpost. Did you get them on? No. He's got middle school gym teacher calves on him. I'd die in the next scene, so I figured I'd have my last cigarette. Blew my damn head off. That's a wrap! Thank you, guys. I'm going to go get some fucking sleep.

Finn knocked that out of the park, and then you have all the beats where all the music's play he has german music playing anytime the nazis are on screen like marching around and walking and then the just the comedy beats are fucking chef's kiss fucking god caleb his line about anne frank you get me within 10 yards of anne frank i'll tell you what. Jesus Christ. The second everyone put on those uniforms, it's like the American side of the Nazis. It's like the ring. Exactly. Everybody puts them on and everybody made the same series of 10 jokes.

You put it on and you're like, you get fired up. I get why they were so angry now. We were joking about Caleb because he's such a big person, just like walking into Anne Frank's house and punching through the ceiling. Just like the juggernaut. The uber Nazi. I got a video.

Cody took a video of me wearing a cowboy hat in the SS uniform. And he like pans the camera over to me and I clip my heels together. And I go, how howdy while i throw the secret handshake you can watch that right here put the clip right here put the clip right here greetings from argentina 1946 your death i love how they did your death brandon that's the stuff where you have younger editors it's like oh they get this like i would have never thought of that i don't think anyone

would have thought of that joke so fucking fried it's just good enough i love yeah that fever dream man i'll say yeah because when i get i get shot it's like me and i'm smoking a cigarette and i was like well i get killed in the next scene so i figured i'd have my last cigarette also elon i've talked about this about watching yourself on footage we'll loop back to that but then i get my head blown off and he cut in a little like circle of my face in like 50 opacity and i go boom a damn head off there's just something he recorded in passing of me but back to the watching recordings of yourself. My body language is so gay, dude. It's weird.

The internet thinks you are. Yeah. My ex-wife too. And just because I didn't want to consummate our marriage. Now I'm gay. Yeah. I'm all big into her brother. And now it's a big deal.

Dude. Nick's story. When we're talking about Nick's thighs, it is. I was like, I was like, how the fuck don't these fit? I was like, Jesus Christ, you have like the biggest ankles and thighs possible. And he's like, I don't know, blah, blah, blah. And then it immediately goes into the gang, the sunny music. It says Nick's brain's ankle.

And that's the next chapter. It goes like, you have strong ankles. You have bitch ass ankles. Instantly. It's just really well done. I thought he was built different till he met that whole uh-huh story of our lives hey man brother it was a rock yeah he i think uh i think scott kentucky ballistics pushed him like there when they were dying for drama like pushed him and

he pushed him so that he had to sidestep and he stepped on a rock and it rolled his ankle not the first time one of and he stepped on a rock and it rolled his ankle not the first time One of us got hurt in Iraq Sorry training I'm doing that training dead energy right yeah Bombastic side Silence Fucking killed it dude you just did uh with the sturmgewehr a day before my election i know that's why i was like brave man brave man he doesn't care this is

as it should be and it's too late to yeah and it was a big fuck you to the media too like people try to cancel me for an mp40 video a video in which i say like, hey, you know, jokes aside, like we don't actually like Nazis. Like our political philosophy is like the opposite of fascism. Like I'm a pro-freedom guy. They burn books and they took the guns. They're not my biggest fans and I'm not the biggest fan of theirs. But they still try to make me. But you can't do anything on history, Brandon.

You just can't touch history. That's a Nazi. You're immediately related to it. Interesting because that sounds like burning books but like i but i did the mp40 video and like two years later they say resurfaced video it's like no mother i put it up there it got like three million views i'm proud of it it's still on my fucking channel that's on my youtube channel you just googled me the first time you retard. Anyway, I but just to prove that I wasn't sorry. I like the day before my election, like, fuck you. I got another Nazi machine gun video to do.

And I literally just shit on media the entire time. I shit on journalists like four times in that video. Guys, remember, bully journalists anytime you can. Yeah. Bully politicians. That's the biggest takeaway from this. If this election taught me anything, it's that if you think you hate journalists enough that you don't you fucking don't they are the worst they are lower than pond scum are you saying they manipulate sorry

oh yeah we got a couple friends but like friends excluded most of them are just trash dude i as an outside perspective i mean watching everything it was insanity to see just the people with makeup or the agendas that would be pushed or things that were taken out of context. That's why I hated. I hated it even more for social media and then journalists of and in politics, because that is disgusting behavior. And then they act like what? Why does nobody trust the media? It's like, like i don't know maybe because you're a bunch of fucking snakes like anybody who does any modicum of research into this knows like if you but i and i said this don't that's what sucks like no one does research on it and dark i mean i mean

the people that are doing it i mean the journalists like anybody who's looking into it to write an article they saw the context they know all this shit they just they don't care and most importantly they want to purposely take it out of context to get clicks because they're just us but worse they just want to click baby bullshit title yes they just thrive and they thrive off of that where it's like as long as long as they they get fucking their google adsense ads looked at in their shit, then they're going to say whatever they can to get the most clicks, no matter how wrong it is. Darnell would text. He's like, what the fuck? Darnell didn't know.

I would tell him in the past, you can't trust the government. And then media news, they lie. And he understood it a good amount until seeing that they would put against you or the guys. He was like, this is like blatant lies. This is just trying to assassinate somebody's character based off of no idea. Just no idea. I have a list of people that I'm still going to go after pretty hard on Twitter. On Twitter.

You said on Twitter. I have a list of people. In Minecraft. Brandon, in Minecraft. In Minecraft. I was like, whoa! Brandon, in Minecraft. No, in real life! In his house! In Beverly Hills!

Oh, what a national treasure. I like that fucking, that little soy boy going after Wendigo. And I'm like, oh, that's what I wanted to talk about. He also took two hours. He went after all of us. 40 minutes that he cut out after he got bullied so hard for also blatant fucking lies and being retarded. Jesus Christ.

Oh, he did. He told the truth about me. That was the funny part, because I remember somebody got like somebody got up in arms about like oh well did you see he called you like a super right winger i'm like well wait i may make it in the gay documentary he okay he came after me because i was laughing about a dude getting his head blown off with a shotgun this man had already did a seven-year-old and was holding the seven-year-old's mom hostage and i i that's hilarious that is fucking hilarious that he got make that noise my ringtone and he's like and then he laughed about a man dying i mean yeah yeah he's in a man yeah i

pointed out your thumbnail because the thumbnail is you going like And he's like and then he laughed about a man dying. I mean, yeah, yeah, he's in a man. Yeah He made you sound so fucking cool though Here we have donut operator a guy who makes death content like'm like damn death content is a cool fucking genre really dibs on the indie band metal is death content content dude he just made that video twitter it's like slaughter to prevail opening band death content cody walks on stage shoot somebody in the head hi everyone everyone's like everybody brings a fucking punk

oh yeah instead of watermelons he just smashes a guy's skull dude that that dude so this guy we won't even name him he did a three hour segment cut 40 minutes out a day or two days later because the entire video on the internet loves wendigoon yeah and most importantly he learned the biggest lesson to be learned in all of this you don't fuck with our friends yeah man, brother. Simple as that. Also, don't go on to it and be like, I'm not attacking people on Twitter just to attack people. And then proceeds to attack people on Twitter because that's what he wanted, the central point of the video. Also, never wear – if you're a white dude that looks like that, do not – do never fucking wear a goddamn native shirt with the tassels.

What are those called? Tassels? Yeah. What's that coat called? It's like the brown and they have just tassels everywhere. Sacagawea. Sacagawea? No, I believe it's pronounced Sacagawea.

Sacagawea. All right. That's Sacagawea. That shirt pissed me off so bad. Just watching him talking talking I'm like ugh he looks like a gay cowboy I think he is a gay cowboy he hated you guys though

I'm watching he did it for just humor humor sorry we had a moment I don't know how to quit you I don't know how to quit you. I don't know how to quit you. You do get real when I'm around. Dude, something about you makes me horny.

I think it's the long hair. I think it might have that effect on autistic men between 20 and 35. Right out of my age bracket. 45. Grandpa Eli. Grandpa Eli. Eli's a weirdo who likes titties. Look at me, my name's Eli. I like having sex with women and eating. Eli! I'm a ghost. What are you doing? I'm here to tell you about GhostBed! Is this an ad? It might be an ad. Why are you in my bedroom? I don't know, scoot over.

Let's talk about it. Every ghost mattress has a 20 year warranty. Some even have a 25 year warranty. And you can try them out for 101 nights, worry free. If you don't like it, just send it back. I don't like this. No hard feelings. One of our favorite things about GhostBed is that it has cooling technology so if you get hot at night like we do down here in Texas it's a lifesaver. I'm uncomfortable. But you're not hot are you? I'm

uncomfortable. But you're not hot are you? GhostBed also offers bundles so they have everything you need. Just choose one of their four mattresses and pick your bundle. Why are you doing this to me? Four mattresses! Four? Right now, GhostBed is offering 50% off all their products. Just use code UNSUBSCRIBE at checkout or go to GhostBed.com slash unsubscribe. Please buy some at GhostBed.com slash unsubscribe.

I'll be under your bed if you need me. This feels like eating ice cream for the first time after a two year diet. Oh, you just go and hand me like, I can say all these words. I can say whatever I fucking want. Chase is just like, oh, dude.

He's like, well, the pepper box is an easy edit. I know this entire episode is just gonna be, bee. Also, for the people that are still wondering why we've since there on YouTube, is because there is a limit to how many cuss words you can say. Otherwise, you get demonetized. We don't know how we can say that enough.

We got age-gated or whatever it was, like two episodes in a row. We did nothing wrong other than say fuck too many times in a 60-second or 30-second time frame. I didn't even know that was a rule. This was the most wholesome episodes too. You're talking about Grandpa Gaming. Grandpa Gaming, yeah. Which was the most respectful, like the comments were like,

you can tell the guys are trying to be like super respectful. Yeah. Age restricted. That episode got age restricted when you had to fight and then cut out a one minute segment or something. Yeah. Something that wasn't even that bad. I look back at it and I'm like,

this is one, if you're like- He only said like four slurs. He's from a different time. No, he's a sweetheart. I'm joking. He's awesome. He did say the slurs though. He's like, no.

Also a joke. Also a joke. But he's like that episode in the demo and the episode right before it, all both age-restricted just because of cuss words. So if you're wondering why it has little beeps sometimes, that is exactly why. But why would you censor it? Fuck that. No. If you get age-restricted, your viewership tanks immediately.

It's being smart, guys. It's being smart. Yeah. Yeah, and realistically, it's like the reason you're watching the unsubscribed podcast is probably because it got presented to you by the algorithm which doesn't fucking happen when it gets age restricted so like where you're cut you're cutting our reach and like a lot of you who for some reason aren't subscribed i don't know why you wouldn't be subscribed to a podcast called unsubscribed uh the only way you guys see it fatal flaw in the branding but um what you should do after you're done but like for those of you who aren't subscribed the only way you see this is because it's pushed you in the algorithm in your your home feed your

browsing feed or your suggested videos so like that none of that happens when we get like demonetized so it's not just a money play it's literally it just cuts our reach entirely like you were looking at hey you're doing a hundred thousand cody has a good example you were doing like a million views and they got turned off or you got hit with age restriction yeah again a million views in a day and then age restricted immediately you just see the line go like flat line and 1.1 million after like a month it chokes the shit out of that piece of content i love how youtube tries to say that that's not what happens that demonetization doesn't that's a full line yeah you can see it in your fucking uh analytics you can see it go boop and it just drops like yeah it's why and it's and you have to placate to it especially if you want to get a your message to a wider audience it's just

being smart about it it's making your soapbox and then be like okay this is how i operate this soapbox i have to cut a few words out that's fine then create pepper box so then you don't have to cut those words i love how though every youtuber you talk to like when you bring it up well apparently well demonetization doesn't cut your reach every one of them laughs we all know it's a lie it's like yeah okay and my uncle was really checking me for tics okay penis inspection day at gym class was to make sure that everything was healthy i don't know why they did it every week. Bro, we got violent Brandon back.

This is awesome. Amen, brother. I fucking love it. It's back. I need to watch your Sturmgewehr video. I haven't watched it yet. I go pretty hard, all things considered. Did you borrow one of the outfits for it?

No. That would have been hilarious that would have been real awkward if i won yeah uh i i kind of wish now i did go as a german this time around in this video because like i mean it would have been kind of weird uh if i did win but now that i didn't it's like oh dude that would have been fucking rad. Actually, no, I go back on that. American uniforms were way cooler. Temperature-wise, like, Jesus, you guys were falling out.

Cody Bell fucking died. I tried them on. On more wool? Great in the Battle of the Bulge. Terrible in Bernie. Welcome to Texas. It's like 100 degrees and 80 humidity yeah it was yeah about 100 degrees 80 humidity and i was where yeah like you said wool on wool on wool dude

i was i was falling out like they they decided to make the last scenes where i'm just sitting down because i was fucking dying holy by the way have you seen that cut yes no i just watched it last night what it's so fucking sick, dude. They don't have the VFX. They have temporary music right in place, but they cut that all together. It is gangster. I can't wait to see that. Get hyped.

Could you send that over? Yeah, done. And the beat of how long it takes, how long we're killing Cody is amazing. It's like it's that next level of oh it's so good we'll send it over because jake showed me last night he's like oh yeah sam's super stoked to get the edit done so he's already been like cutting the fuck out of that thing and just the acting and everything was like if this is just one portion this is going to be comedy gold the scenes from you i won't ruin anything we'll show you guys but holy fuck it is perfection and cody's death i thought it would cut way sooner

and holds like a shooting cody yeah it keeps going murdering cody it does the thing where it's like funny and then it stops being funny and then it gets funny it's kind of like the how i met your mother like the i would walk 500 miles like that i would like after like three hours like tired of it like just wait it comes back and then they're back into it oh i'm so excited for that i think everyone is that one is just when you have our group plus the production value the production quality of corridorridor Digital, magic. And then we get to do more stuff like that because we were talking with Jake and then I'm trying to get Grantham. Kentucky, I talked to Kentucky about it already, but all of us doing a writing retreat where we go hunt. I'd love to do that.

Like a fucking four-day, like bros out drinking, having a good time, doing everything, and then also writing. Hunting the most dangerous game. Yes, man. Long pig. Me running through the woods. Long pig? It's you dressed like Sam? All right, Connor, we didn't want to tell you why we want to hang out with you.

Hold your fire until you see the whites of his balls oh i just said your real name again fuck i already did earlier i think it's done now right yeah who cares yeah on which one we can't say the real name no i know i don't give a no i that up oh nice yeah way to blow it i put it in a vlog that got like a couple hundred thousand views. Cody. Opsec. Opsec 100. So I'm at the front lines here.

We're in a secret location. It's like I've never had... Here's the coordinates, guys. I have never had a significant other that I've put anywhere on social media just because I don't believe in it. It's not something that I... I keep my private life private and it's just the way i like to do things you have doxxed every girlfriend i've ever had every single fucking one in a vlog in one way or the other don't do it on purpose man i know i know but like at one point the camera swings around and like we're like in the background like god damn it like very being obviously a couple he keeps posting

videos of me in the shower on his vlog channel. It's so crazy, right? He does that to me all the time. I'm like, God damn, man. Give me a minute of privacy. We have one, Cody. Cody, we have one where I'm eating. Me and Sav aren't being public yet.

So I'm like holding the hand and then Cody's like vlogging. And I'm like, oh, I put my hand down and that he's like, oh shit. You shove her up the stool. Oh shit. Sorry. Well, her up the stool. Yeah. Oh shit. Sorry. Well, we'll get rid of that. And then the blog entire thing with him saying,

we'll get rid of that. Like, so my, my, my ex at one point, uh, like he had panned around the table and she's obviously covering her face. And he's like,

can't show that that's Brandon's girlfriend, which like, that was like a level of, okay'm fine with that whatever the next shot is us in the background walking together same clothes everything like god damn it just fuck all my friends what's funny is it's not the best of intentions. Like, it's no malice whatsoever. His next blog is just the address placard of the unsub house.

Like, the bedroom I sleep in. We're touring Trout's bedroom. Here's where he keeps his gun. Holding a laser pointer. Trout got mail. Just cycling through all this unopened mail. Hey, look, I found Trout's social security card. Whoa, look at this.

Holding a laser pointer from the front. If you were going to shoot through the wall to kill Trout sleeping, this is about where he lays. It's like that fucking White House kids, you know, skit. You remember the one? It is very illegal to say it's very legal to say on tv if you were to shoot a mortar from here you could hit the white house hotel oh speaking of legally is way to say things you probably don't want me to no okay if we could avoid that we'll do chestnut checkers. Yeah. It would be very funny. However, hold.

Hold. Rich and Nick were doing a live stream about watching your stuff last night, right? Were they? Well, yeah, no. I know Angry Cops. Yeah, Rich was doing a live stream. Fat was with him. Oh, really?

Oh, shit. I would have jumped in. I did. I jumped into. So Brayden Langley was doing a live stream and the Tactical Tournament guy and Dalton were doing it. So I jumped into theirs. Fuck, I would have jumped in with them if I knew that.

Yeah, they had it going. They had like 11,000 viewers. You're welcome for the money. Dude, I was like, man, YouTube's that different live streaming because it's like, I don't know how it works. There's Super Chats. Is that it works. There's super chats. Yeah, super chats. I've seen it on YouTube shorts, but I don't know.

Yeah, you get your messages read. It just pops it to the top. I don't even know how it fucking works. Did I ever tell you how much I made off the January 6th stream? Which was hilarious, by the way. Yeah. I made like $22,000 off of that stream. I had 700,000 people watching me just watch

the January 6th stuff. All I was doing was switching around to different news stations and watching the news. God damn. More for you. Thank you, show. The shakes are finally going away.

Thank you, show. Oh, you get a whiskey? A whiskey? It's still before 2 o'clock. The shakes are going away. Oh, you get a whiskey? A whiskey beverage. A whiskey? It's still before 2 o'clock. I'm not going to switch to whiskey yet. Oh. Pussy.

It's 1. It's 2 p.m. on the East Coast. Our sponsor for this video is PDS Debt because everything is really expensive right now. I spent $400 at the grocery store. I don't even know what I got. Milk. He got milk. One milk. You may be in debt right now because the economy is in shambles't even know what I got. Milk. He got milk. One milk.

You may be in debt right now because the economy is in shambles. You know what also comes with debt? Stress, anxiety, existential doom. PDS Debt has a solution for you. Help is available. Whether it be medical bills, collections, credit card debt. They have customized options for you. If you're making payments on your debt and your balance isn't going anywhere, this is the solution for you.

PDS Debt has options that consolidates all of that debt into one low monthly payment. Everyone with $10,000 or more in eligible debt qualifies and there's no minimum credit score required. Save thousands in interest and fees and pay off your debt in a fraction of the time. PDS Debt is a top rated company on Google Google and has an A-plus rating with the Better Business Bureau. They're personable.

Go check out all their reviews and see how many specifically mention PDS employees by name. It's incredible. You can get a free debt analysis right now by going to pdsdebt.com slash unsub. It takes 30 seconds. Go to pdsdebt.com slash unsub. It takes 30 seconds. Go to pdsstep.com slash unsub. Go now! I'm going. The fucking, oh, we got your cooking show.

I'm super stoked for it. If you guys don't know this, Cody slaps at cooking. Like, that next level. I consider myself a decent cook. I'm like, fuck yeah. I nailed that one. You were the only dude. I'm like, fuck you, dude. Like dude like fuck you mine tastes like absolute now this boy pours a mean bowl of cereal

you cody or yeah no it's crazy and you wouldn't believe it tastes really good it's just milk and cereal secret recipe the steak that you made why am i looking at you that couple of weeks ago that was just so fucking good thanks guys we just hit finger everyone was just eating with their hands and we're just like home or everyone's standing around the island on the cutting board just like coming as they're eating slices of steak so good so good and being able to turn that into something awesome i'm like yes yes let's fucking do this thing yeah so or eli is creating a cooking show for me yes i know if you if you guys don't remember during like the height of covid i maybe bleep that word can we say covid still yeah we can say covid now okay now you can can we say right yeah yeah Now you're good. Can you say, I think so. Can you say, I don't know. Can you say,

can you say Nick is my best friend? Yeah. During the height of COVID I did six, I think it was 61 cooking streams like straight every day for two months. I did 61 cooking streams. 61? I didn't know it was that much. It's like while we were locked down, all that bullshit. Yeah, I did 60. It was 60 something straight. That's crazy. It was like a horror ARG where you just got more and more demented as the episodes go along slowly. It was awesome.

I just told like police stories and like gross stories and shit. And like while I was cooking and everyone loved it dude i was getting like a couple thousand people every stream just watching me cook i remember some of them but i didn't know you were doing it every fucking day but then again it was code you guys hadn't moved down here yet yeah i was like i was still in south carolina it was like a year before because you moved down and then how long did it take for you to like it came It came down a couple months after two later. Yeah. We were already planning on it because I was already spending so much fucking time in Texas. And the difference was pretty staunch because North Carolina's governor was really, really left.

And so the lockdown rules for COVID were so bad. And so like coming to like in October, I basically spent the entire month of october during covid in uh in texas doing an ak bill a couple ak build classes and shit like that and i we were we were hanging out and i was like dude this is night and day texas beautiful i've got family from here and like dude this is why the fuck am i still in fort bragg oh yeah you were out there yeah i was a fable yeah i'm like dude what the why am i my family's already moved like why the fuck am i here you came out here and crushed i remember those conversations and then everyone started moving out here and now we continue to have people move out here such as yourself good stuff left the hoosier state my home yeah my heart remains in indiana island of misfit autists no we're just lost dogs bro we're

just building up like an awesome gang of people just like really really good people that want to lift each other up future apocalypse bandits which is also true we have like a good fucking like fallout plan like this is the gang i'd roll with but since it's not fallout it's like happy lifting each other up everyone covers down and crushes life i'm like this is the best point in my life for business partners i can say that wholeheartedly of every the entire team business partners friends this is the pinnacle i was like okay i could die tomorrow and be like you know what that was pretty dope best job i ever had yeah best job i've ever had i'm secretly collecting information to record a hit piece on all of you well i can say that you're officially

24 hours too late fuck no one's'm going to take down his campaign. Wait, what happened? He's like, shit, I forgot to do the thing. Sorry, I was just having fun. I kind of got wrapped up in the moment. You're a busy little boy today. Yeah, journalists don't go to heaven. That's true. Cyclists and journalists don't go to heaven.

Amen, brother. If you ride a bike, fuck you. I don't mind if you ride a bike. Don't ride it on the fucking road. Don't ride a bicycle. Ride a bike on a nature path. Ride a bike a place where bikes live. What are you, 12?

Get off a bike. What the fuck are you doing on a bike? I almost fucking hit a car today. Literally on my way here. I almost fucking hit a car because there was a bike dude on the side of the fucking road. I literally swerved around him. I'm getting from this. It's like, hey, do we keep that segment in for uh sorry like i said if you want a barrel so chase will just just bleep the hard ones there or just cut around it or bleep it censorship

that's the hard part with pepper box right now also for fyi censorship free means censorship free on what we decide of like hey this killed our career because it could be. Brandon, again, all you need to. I might have to run again in two years. Oh, Brandon made a joke about veteran sewer slides. And look at how much shit that caused. Yeah. And taken out of content.

That was and that was with a group of veterans laughing about a joke that we didn't make. Yes. A joke that we didn't make. Yes. A joke that we didn't make. We were talking about a joke. I was we were going to say in the the veterans sewer slide prevention panel earlier that day. Never fucking said the joke. Repeated the joke that I didn't say on the panel during the podcast saying like this is the joke that Eli said would be funny, but we decided not to do. And then it literally probably killed that campaign just

because it was purposely out of context like that is crazy because they went ham they spent fucking six million dollars pushing a false narrative so that's why when you see it like any of that in pepperbox is like if we're cutting around something it is for that because that can fuck us just taken out of context and if you're still in that woods freedom of speech blah blah 100 go into your workplace and yell the n-word yeah and then see what and they'd be like they took it out of context freedom of speech is not freedom from consequences which is like you should be able to say whatever you want legally i do not i have no well no matter what heinous shit you want to say unless it's like an actionable threat against a person like you, you say whatever the fuck you want.

And even then, maybe. Yeah, I'm doing a little side eyes. Like, West Baptist Church is, Westboro Church? Westboro Baptist Church. They, like, I. You're a member still, right? Mm-hmm. God hates who?

Despise. I despise those people, but they're allowed to do everything that they do. They have the freedom of speech, freedom of religion, and freedom to peaceably assemble as per the First Amendment. They're doing all three. And they're pieces of shit. And I don't really want to hang out with them or anything, but they have a legal right. But that's what happens when you don't censor your stuff. Not really.

I don't think so. Self-censorship is fine. Yeah, it's like there's things that I just don't want to say. That's not censoring myself. If I had to list them, it would start with... There's things that I just don't want to put out there with my name on it. There's a difference between that and being forced to censor yourself to appease YouTube.

That fucking sucks. I hate having to answer to Big Brother and things like that. We just like being able to censor in post for, let's say, Pepperbox or for YouTube. The idea is just, hey, it makes it more relaxed environment to talk with your friends. When we had Craighead on, that's why he was so open and just relaxed is because he knew in post he had a couple of says on what makes it to the final cut and what doesn't. And he was super stoked. He put him at ease versus like,

if we went into this, it's like, Hey, we can't make that joke, that joke. We can't even allude to that. Then you have this weird fucking dance of awkwardness and like, ah,

ah, kills, kills the momentum, kills the meaning of this podcast was just bros hanging out in a little interview and having a good ass time. Censorship is gay and retarded. That's what we're saying. Bully journalists.

Check out our gay retard merch. Just a shirt pops up. I don't like how you pointed to me. He's in the room with us. It's a fucking rainbow Ouija board. F. A. No, no, no, no, no, no.

Oh, I should have seen that coming. That's how I'm going to know if you're fucking still with us in the afternoon. Do me and Darnell wrote that? Me and Darnell had that skit. Oh, yeah, that's Cody. All of us sitting at a table and Darnell's there. He's like, blah, blah, blah. It's like, is somebody there? It's like, yes. It's like, okay.

It's like, what is your name? And then Darnell's like, ask the question. And it sliced it in. We're like, huh, that's weird. Darnell's like, I don't like it. I was like, uh, uh. We're like forcing it from GF. We're like all pushing it. And he's like, uh yeah the harder you push the more like shit start

for the viewers darnell is an african-american what i just for context i assume from the name hey now could be anybody's name this is my friend dimitrius that's my favorite part with sean strickland that interview where he's like got the hennessy and the fucking uh do-rag he calls himself like deshawn strickland jesus sean strickland's a animal i would like he's like one of my dream podcast guests dude that dude is fucking love that why like that is one guy i was watching docs and interviews about him as a person like that is a dude that dude is fucking love that why like that is one guy i was watching docs and interviews about him as a person like that is a dude that just loves to hurt people like when he

spars or like there is no yeah like him and sneeko i think poor bro he got bullied yeah and that is a ufc level like a pro ufc level fighter just beating the shit out of sneak up. Cause he like toyed with them. And then he gave him like 30 pretty good seconds. Yeah. Well, he was telling him the whole time too. Here's what I'm about to do to you. And there's nothing you can do or like something like that.

Like, how does it feel to know you can't hurt me? Like that kind of attitude. He fucking bodied him. Yeah. And then like, I, my favorite part about that is he's getting shit beat out of him.

And then you've got like four different people threw in white towels. Oh yeah. him yeah and then like i my favorite part about that is he's getting shit beat out of him and then you've got like four different people threw in white towels oh yeah everyone was throwing it like don't kill him don't kill him don't kill him oh this is a boy chase hi chase apologies for what you're about to have to edit oh yeah dude our editor new editor guys if you haven't met our new editor chase come here real quick this is our new editor, Chase, come here real quick. Chase, come say hello. This is our new editor. He also works with Corridor. Fucking super talented dude. We're expanding the team. No, I'm kidding.

I'm kidding. Show your face, dog. I can't see it. They just see the white shirt walk in. What's up, fellas? But he's a new editor. Super talented. Him, Finn.

We're just expanding the team to just get it as big as possible. Slow growth, but positive growth growth especially with unsub cooking shows whatever you come up with here shortly like you have now teams to action on it and connor is doing it connor lives here now have we even told that like you live here uh i don't know yeah i live in the fucking unsub house yeah vegas we were like hey this dude's super hyper talented at what he does we're like hey come on out we'll figure it out cody helped and then we were like, hey, this dude's super hyper talented at what he does. We were like, hey, come on out. We'll figure it out. Cody helped. And then we were like, hey, let's set up this.

And now he's creating content. So we have this. Everyone works so fucking hard. I only have to give him like three blowjobs a week. Pretty good deal. The gang buys a slave. That's the next episode. Have we talked about the gang does? we i don't think we have so

pepper box exclusive apparently we have because people on the pepper box were starting to say it's like yo they finally released the gang does shit well because we talked about doing that forever like we've like on the podcast we've joked about doing like a series the gang does but then pepper box came out and then it's like there oh well that that's obviously where we put this like we just didn't know how to work it if you guys don't know about it we've been like brandon said we've been talking about it for years like a duck dynasty style show but it's just the gang does like our group in san antonio and it works really good and it's awesome to see because chase is helping with that fin is helping with that the quality i will say the quality was the one thing i was just like yo i'm happy right yeah i was like this is that next level of vlog where it's

cinematic and then the jokes the editing styles chase is uh if you ever watch corridors uh vfx artists react that was your main cup of tea just like that's my number one thing that i watch from corridor is is the vfx artists react stuff that's that's always been super interesting to me that's always like my flight video. If I'm traveling to wherever the fuck I have to go that day, I always download that before I get on the plane. Just watch like two or three of those. Is there an episode of The Gang Does on Pepperbox right now? The Gang Does World War II.

Just got released yesterday. The Gang Does World War II on Pepperbox right now. Which apparently is very spicy. Oh, it is. It is the perfect amount of just amazingness. I so happy with that zero notes that was one of the times it got kicked like hey any notes watch i was like no that's fucking golden guys you just keep kicking and we'll get we get to expand into that with um i don't like everything now because i still want to do high low but yeah oh yeah okay

because i think that's not that idea hi hello well that's a that is a viral video yeah we'll keep that one close to heart until it launches because that is i feel like there's still a way to do that on youtube so that's what we're gonna do okay yeah all right it'll be on both so that way we'll have the full process on Pepperbox, but then we can cut it to sizable chunks for YouTube and then put that series out. Put the actual full thing over it. This is an episode full of secrets.

We'll tell you after. We should probably talk about some things that the rest of the audience can know about. What are you guys doing? Remember that story we can't talk about? How about that video we're going to record that we can't talk about? We'll just do we're going to record that we can't talk about? We'll just do inside jokes the entire fucking episode.

And you motherfuckers bleed it up. Why'd it fucking bomb? All we have to do is just put in the title Fat Electrician. We put his thumbnail on there no matter what. Can we put him in the thumbnail? We'll name this as like Fat Electrician Dies. As we just made fun of

journalists for fucking quick bait. Just do it. Welcome to the Unsubscribe Podcast. No fat electrician here. I'll rant about communism if you want. Communism bad. Hold on, do the voice though. Hold on, wait. Today we're going to talk about

my best Nick impression on the podcast is when he does his or this he does this that man very physically seethes if you guys are like steve diley it smells like his breath angry all the time we talk about it nick is one of the hard i'm decent at reading people nick i've told him to his face i was like you are the only dude that still when you answer the phone i think you hate me yeah every conversation i have with him he'll ask me a question and then i'll answer it and then he goes good good and i'm like what the fuck was that it's called autism or when you say like he'll call you he will call you he calls me i love him to death he's one of my

best friends this motherfucker will call me uh just the middle of the day i'll be like one o'clock in the afternoon and i'll answer the phone obviously and i'm like what's up dude and he will talk for five seconds and he goes hold on i'm going into the bank let me call you right back i'm like bitch you called me you're making your own plans why couldn't you have gone into the bank. Let me call you right back. I'm like, bitch, you called me. You were making your own plans. Why couldn't you have gone in the bank and called me when you left? That reminds me of like old school Adderall me. Where it's like, I would just like, okay, got to do this. Got to do that.

Do this. Knock it out. Knock everything out. Okay, I got to call this guy. All right, hold on. Wait a second. I got something else to do real quick. I just knew that I had to call you.

And so I just, if you can't describe adderall well enough it's like if it especially like back when it would used to do something for me instead of just giving me massive anxiety it uh it's like instead of thinking like oh god i've got to call this person and talk about x y and z blah blah by the time you get through that in your brain adderall you is just already dialed the phone and you're waiting. You're just knocking shit out. Time to do thing. Because it's legal methamphetamine that they push on children

and that's pretty fucked up. We should legalize regular methamphetamine for children. That's the most Midwest shit you've ever said. Tommy just doesn't act right without his pipe. He can't see. He's still in school. Yeah. He's just rocking back and forth you know his math scores are through the roof education went way through the roof just like dental bills with rotten fucking teeth god my mom worked in it sorry cody's been wanting to

say something for a really long time go ahead no you're good i was just thinking about nick sprinting through the forest in a fucking tank top. He's like, hold on, I gotta go to the bank. Is he barefoot or with socks? No, barefoot. Big old feet slapping in the woods. Barefoot with this shirt on it. He's just crying and running. Winnie the Pooh style. He's got his

gay rabbit friend. Wet socks so he leaves feet prints wherever he goes. I want to be running like a fucking like sprinting zombie wait like you turn around shoot him in the shoulder the ride and run oh that's right he's right he's the worst i remember when i first started watching that show you're like oh so now you see how Ryden runs? I said that gift. God damn it. My son, he runs. Ryden, I'm like, come on, buddy. He's running. He's like, loosey-goosey arms going crazy.

I'm like, bro, you gotta pump the arms. No, I do not, daddy. I got there. I was like, okay. You're correct. You're correct. You do you, bud. Technically correct, yes. Little piece of shit. I'm gonna fight you. Oh, Tr uh trout you have a new you just did a video on what was the conspiracy or was the last video do you just last one was about you're editing the editing editing are you editing yeah i'm editing a video about the rise and fall of the american cowboy oh that diet was 1910 was when

it was like pretty much over yeah it was like the late 1800s it was kind of their job was taken over by barbed wire and one of a few careers where everything ended with a fucking piece of metal but for some reason it was like the most requested video for me to cover uh on my last few youtube videos everybody wants me to talk about cowboys so making a video about cowboys should be out by the time this is out. So, you know, it was always the,

the great depression in 1929, uh, was what made it so that they couldn't LARP as cowboys anymore. And they're Sprinter vans and had to get a real job. Sprinter vans. Oh, that's modern. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Cody. Are you bullying me? Am I getting bullied? No, but you did, you did kind of catch a stray on that one i'm sorry i just seen him processing he was like he looks in the mirror i'm thinking of the modern fake yellowstone montana oh the california california cowboy i hate that shit so much. I get shit every time. Show me. I have my hat, please. Every time I put on a shirt like this or wear a cowboy hat, I get so much shit because they're like, oh, bro moved to Texas two months ago.

And now he's wearing a hat and Western shirt. It's like, bitch, I worked on ranches and farms my entire life. I looked at a dude left a comment. He was like, this motherfucker moved to Texas and now he's wearing a cowboy hat he's like a software engineer like listen mother when's the last time you've seen a cow you piece of just because you live in texas doesn't make you a cowboy go work on a farm go work on a ranch you got salt fans brother rant over that's funny i like all three of us thank you for that by the way uh all three of us independently from each other at no point did we uh did we coordinate in any way bought the exact fucking same type and brand of hat stetson 10x stetson

is that it is that yours yeah you sure yeah I got a Stetson yeah got a couple of them oh shit that is a Stetson son of a bitch that's a nice one man it looks exactly like mine

it was me you and somebody else we got the resist all it was Nick yeah Nick yeah yeah oh resist all

roast him in the comments all hat no cattle which I'm not gonna make that other joke either I'm trying to be nice. I know a joke, dude. I got one, too.

Speaking of cattle. Yeah. Yeah. This is the secret inside joke episode of Unsubbed. Tune in for the next one. Brandon still bites his tongue because there's certain relationships not worth burning yet. Also, you guys went to Jake's and you got bucked off. I got bucked off a cow.

And then at midnight, you guys posted you playing chess here and then went to Jake's and then riding a cow. Did you ride the cow too? I did not. No, no. This was like last week. It was like three, four days ago, I think. I don't know. Yeah.

Connor got bucked off a cow. I didn't ride the cow. It was like a 300-400 pound calf. It was a strong little motherfucker. Connor tried to ride it for a while and it kept throwing him off. A couple other people tried to ride it. It was a strong little guy.

Did they just buck? No, they're just fast and strong, man. I think she's only a yearling. She, man. She's, I think she's only like a yearling. She's tiny. She's a heifer calf. And yeah, hopped on. She did buck when I jumped on her.

And then I hit the ground pretty hard to the point where the stitching on the side of my jeans is like embedded into my fucking leg. My knee's like black right now. Yeah, the next morning I got up and I was like, I put my, my feet down and one of them was like cocked off to the side. And it was like, why does it hurt to put my foot normal? And then it popped. And I was like,

Oh yeah, I wrote a cow last night. Yeah. We, we all, yeah, we all, we all went over to fucking Jake Watson's house and just got,

I don't know, a little hammered. It's like a recurring theme. You guys have a problem. You guys want to ride a cow? I'm like, fuck yeah. Let's go do it, man. It's only a problem when you're an alcoholic and you stop making money.

Yeah. We're functional alcoholics. That makes it okay. Don't listen to us. Do as we say, not as we do, kids. The guy says, as long as I'm making money, I can drink as much as I want. Well, the thing is when you're making a lot of money nobody tells you that you can't like as long as the content's going out

just fucking do it you get better content like riding a cow riding a cow sober you yeah no i'm a fucking cow whisperer out there jake god no i'm just i'm dead ass serious too the i the night that we left to go to california for our little road road trip where Jake and I now bicker like a married couple because we've spent so much fucking time together. Love him to death, but the man just doesn't know how to take roadhead. Oh, yeah. He rejects it. He kept pushing me off. He was like, stop.

I'm not gay. And I was like, just take it. You look bored. I thought you were tired. It's me. This isn't for you. This is for me. I'm hungry. Let's go. It's me. This isn't for you. This is for me. I'm hungry.

Let's stop at a McDonald's then. The night that we left for our flight to California to drive back. We don't have time to stop at a McDonald's. We must keep going. I need my protein now. I do you. You do me. Same time.

That's, that's what Tesla drivers. But there was a fucking hail storm coming in. Uh, you're, that wasn't the night your truck up by hail, but a giant storm. I went outside and the sky was like orange.

I'm like, Oh, shit's about to get real. So I texted Jake cause he's about to like take a shower and go to bed. And I was like, Hey, you want me to like call the cows and horses in? And he, he texted me back and he was like, yeah, that'd be great. Like is how I read it. And what he meant was like, yeah, that'd be great. Like I couldn't do it. And so I got all his horses and cows into the fucking stalls and like penned them up, chained everything, went inside. And so I got all his horses and cows into the fucking stalls and like

penned them up, chained everything, went inside. And then his wife was there and she was like, what were you out there doing? I was like, Oh, I pinned up all the cows and horses.

And she goes, all of them. And I was like, yeah. And she goes, all of the cows and horses. And I thought I did something wrong. I was like,

yeah. Like, is that Jake told me that I should do that. It's like a death match in there. Like, no, no, you can't put them together.

There's one horse. It's like just like a death match in there. Like, no, no, you can't put them together. There's one horse that's like a betta fish. No, I know. Just holding everything in a betta's. I separated them. There's a fucking war or something. But they're like, Jake just grabs a shotgun, knock him. I'm like, nobody's ever got them all in. I'm like the fucking Caesar Milana cows, dude, apparently.

They just listen to me. I slap them on the ass and shit as they walk into the stalls. See, biscuit can't be with the other animals. Look at that soothing whisper, baby. Lean in and tell them, in that stall, you know you want to. They're afraid of the scared horse. I like how my accent's gotten much more southern since I put on my cowboy hat. We're in Texas now, baby.

I'm from Indiana originally, but I like saying y'all and the N-word. That was an Indiana thing, too. That's my word. Is this cultural appropriation? That's southern culture, brother. You can't steal it. South Carolina cops getting a little offended over here. Next, you're going to start using a fire hose.

Oh, Jesus Christ. I just woke up and chose racism. You roll Cody out of bed. He's like, give me my German Shepherd and my fire hose. Somebody wants rights. Oh, God. Where? somebody wants rights oh god where tag me in coach

oh man I can't wait we're gonna hit that one precipice where it's like we're growing growing and then everyone's gonna start watching it and that's when these jokes are people are like, mother of God. Have you seen episode 148? This is why we're not getting Tom Hanks. Next week we have Tom Hanks on.

No idea how that happened. I just got casted to be on SNL, too. Hopefully they don't find anything offensive. I said on a podcast, and my career becomes vastly more successful than it would have been if i had chosen to be on snl that's never happened trout never it's big enough we should have him on oh we should y'all we should have some grilled cheese sandwiches he's making them a night make me nick i make him a night that that did you did you see that i've talked to him that's going around really yeah what yeah i've been trying to get him on that dude i talked to him on instagram they're in austin aren't what yeah i've been trying to get them on that dude i talked

to him on instagram they're in austin aren't they yeah i talked to well did you see the new clip going around from uh the like i guess his show or whatever about epstein island uh no it's fucking fire it's called tires yeah i think it's a movie they're like this uh like one of the chicks is like well well that's how you end up on epstein island it's like a bunch of like just skanks and he just goes oh dude if you showed up on epstein island they'd send you back uh this pussy is spoiled send it back he's like they'd be disappointed bro oh these are cody's there we go the shakes are finally stopping. What's today?

Wednesday. Oh, shit. Shane Gillis, because we have bigger names coming on, but that's when... If we get Shane Gillis, Shane Gillis would be fucking... Bigger than Shane? No, he would be our biggest one ever. I mean, Demetrius is... In his prime, Demetrius Johnson was fucking peak.

I didn't realize he was doing a podcast too. I want to see him roll with Nick. Oh my God. My own personal. Oh my God. The gang does MMA. Demetrius is like, cause he's like five,

five. He's a tiny dude. He's a small dude. Five, two. Yeah. Cause he fights. Strawweight,

like a super light featherweight feather i think it was feather but that dude is a mastercraft he's considered a goat for a reason if you haven't watched his fights like i started i started watching a couple of them it's fucking scary that dude is a monster mighty mouse nick let's just get him nick oh the gang does yeah the, the gang does. BJJ. Can I shit talk Nick again since I'm not here? Yeah. Dude, last time he was in town, this motherfucker told me he could roll with a chimpanzee. I don't know if he could do that. No, absolutely not.

I was talking about, I think you were there too. Yeah. We're talking about the hypothetical largest animal you could battle. And I draw the line at medium-sized dog. Like me and Beau. Have you ever been bit by a dog? Does it have a collar or not? No. Both of you are naked.

This is also a... Oh, yeah. Oh, I hate that. That changes things. The dangling bits? Yeah. All right. Well, the dog's naked, too.

Okay. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. All dogs are naked, Chad. Hypothetically, you could bite the dog's dick off, is what I'm saying. It's a fair match. I think that's the least likely scenario of dick biting. The dog jumps, it's like, oh, bites your dick, and you're like, you flip it over, and you're like, oh.

A 69-ing dog. A 69-5? You let go. No, you let go. I've got an urban dictionary entry now. It's a K69. The K69. urban dictionary entry now it's like it's a k69 the k69 no but i draw the line at medium-sized dog i've been bit by a fucking like a shih tzu with like two teeth before punch a dog yeah no that pierced my hand shit hurts dog teeth hurt but i seen like bow that motherfucker's muscular

as hell i'm like yeah i'm i'm nakey i'm fighting for my life against the love of my life my dog bow he's a sweetheart jay's here's a picture of him thank you that's probably like the limit of how i could buddy i i love bow to death i could kill the shit out of bow you're not gonna kill my dog i'm not gonna i could no way oh what do you what do it now. Where is he? I'll do it right now. Where is he? Get him out of here.

Come here. So much worse that he's using his fists. What's the upper limit animal that will fucking strip in the backyard and kill Bo right now? You're going to battle my dog? You're going to have a gladiator arena? You're going to just beat him up? No, he's going to poke his eyeballs out until he's hurt enough and then choke him out.

Can it be a different hypothetical dog? I don't like this hypothetical. My dog is the same size as you. It's Jeeves. I'd kill Jeeves. I could kill the shit out of Jeeves. No way. Bullshit. You just gouge eyes and then choke out.

You could just rip a dog's jaw. What do you think you are? Fucking King Kong? Ripping a fucking Tyrannosaurus Rex? Horse shit. I don't know how... Have you ever been bit by a dog? Oh, yeah.

What's your story? I'm just now picturing the end of Old Yeller changing dramatically. I know. What do you mean? I can't. You gotta do it. Just a naked guy.

You just... No, shoot him! Shoot him! Don't punch him in the desk! Shoot him! What the fuck? What are you doing? You're like, kid, you gotta do it. Just a naked guy. You just do it. Yeah. Daddy's not dying! No, shoot him! Shoot him! Don't punch him in the desk! Shoot him!

Fuck! Old Yeller, get the gun! Get the gun! Get the gun! Stop punching him! Dad just like starts stripping down. He's like, I've always been curious. He's got the dog in his chocobo.

Yeller! Man, Old Yeller got weird. He's like, I'm not gonna do this. I'm not gonna do this. I'm not gonna do this. I'm not gonna do this. I'm not gonna do this. I'm not gonna do this. I'm not gonna do this. I'm not gonna do this. He's got the dog in his chocle. And Old Yellow got weird at the last ten minutes. I think I downloaded the wrong movie.

The kid's foaming at the mouth, the kid got rabies. The kid gets rabies and murders his dog. It's an uno reverse car nick and his wife peter chasing a dealer running through the woods i hate i can picture nick in a champ square golf like that in the woods

just nick and his wife peter he said it so confidently too when we were having this conversation it was like right there where we had the conversation he's like i like to fuck up a champ i was like right there where we had the conversation he's like I could fuck up a gym. I was like no you couldn't. That's racist as shit. What were you Cody? He's like no.

Like the last non-racist on the podcast and I guess Eli by proxy because he's kind of yellow and brown. If I'm rolling with a gym I could fuck it up. And I'm like I did the like joe rogan thing where i'm like your muscles are braided have you seen a shaved chimp before bro dude hairless chips are terrifying absolutely you've seen them oh yeah no they're fucking they look like dora bjornson like they are fucking giants chase put up the hairless chip picture here hey

jamie bring it up hold up it's not just the fact that they're big. They're fucking lean as hell. Have you seen the orangutan versus like all the sumo wrestlers for the – they're like six or ten jack dudes playing tug-of-war with an orangutan. Yeah. And the orangutan is like – and they're pulling. It's just holding on. And then it goes, yoink.

Yeah, and all the guys are – and just fly forward. Nothing you can do. It's terrifying. Yeah, they have completely different muscle structures. So the guys are like, and just fly forward. Nothing you can do. Yeah, they have completely different muscle structures. So they're just like, me rip off arm. Me bite your dick. I was going to say, chimps aim for your dick, dude. So in a naked fight, they're immediately like, cup it, twist it, rip it off.

There's a fold in it. Twist it. I am officially done with the fight. What is the upper limit of the animal that you would fight then? Medium-sized dog is too small for Brandon. Brandon Herrera, failed congressman. He could take on a medium-sized dog. I wanted to drop it really early, but I felt it was too harsh early on.

So everybody who's still here, thank you for hanging in. I feel like there's different kinds of animals. It's like animals in the water the water animals that are like you know a donkey i feel like i could fist fight a donkey well a donkey and a medium-sized dog are on two different categories that's what i'm saying you see like it's like size of animal or like ferocity of animal yeah like one cat a medium-sized cat fuck no dude those things will fuck you up like a cougar or anything i have one like a bobcat oh i thought you meant like a house cat i'm like i will stomp it no i thought even like bobcat what were you saying no i was gonna say do you remember the i know we're talking about cats attacking people do you remember the

one where the guy opens the oh no it's at christmas and he opens up the the present and the cat just like it's just didn't like what he did and it ripped his fucking scalp open. Cats are the one animals you see. But yeah, that was just a house cat. So yeah, like you're saying, you get a bobcat or fucking... I got a story on house cats with that. It happened to my dad when I was growing up. We had a cat.

I think his name was Buddy. I think his name was Buddy. He was a cat I had early on. I had apparently gone into our closet where my dad had a couple old World War II guns, something like that. Fucking pissed on him. Ooh. And so you know the ammonia and everything.

That is just such a fucking, that is, God, you've done a lot of damage on that one. You look like an outside cat. He basically wanted to rub the cat's nose and the cat cat piss that's not how they work like did the thing that you know but like you know it's a thing yeah and uh like before the internet where we just listen it's like give your dog mayonnaise it will help the shine of its coat my dad still says that really really yeah oh it's because it's probably because it's got eggs in it. Eggs are good for their coat. Probably where that came from.

He goes to try to do it and the cat just ninja rolls around and he's trying to like, no, no! Fucking goes back around and latches onto his forearm. And they're in a linen closet. And it's drawing blood and he's trying to peel it off and it's drawing blood and he just starts banging

it against the shit. It's the funniest mental picture. He's trying to peel it off and it's drawing blood and he just starts banging it it's the funniest mental picture he's just fucking banging it and it's not letting his cat arm finally like he's bleeding all down his forearm cats beat the fuck up unlatches fucking runs away and they were best friends after that like okay it was that mutual respect just like all right you can fuck me up so i need to beat squirt up yeah you have to fight that's exactly what i said that's what i heard yeah dude i should tell you my dad's durable story oh that's a clip right there that's gonna be yeah jesus so my my father was a firefighter for like iner was his name? That's what I was picturing. I just pictured like Gene. Gene.

Y'all know his name. Yeah. What is it? That's it. Pretty Woman. Fuck. No. Richard Geer.

Richard Geer. There you go. Richard Geer. Richard Geer is going to pop up in the corner and come back. Chase from the Chief Seats. He heard hamster. So my dad, he was a firefighter in atlanta for like 35 years and he used to he did the the whole the whole program where you remember when you're a kid

and the firefighter comes into your classroom just talks about like stop drop roll like do all this stuff so he did that for a while one day all the kids like he went to this school one day all the kids were at lunch and he goes in there's's a gerbil, the class gerbil. And he's like petting it and it latches onto his finger. And so he does that instinctually and it fucking hits the ceiling. It fucking dies. And so he picks it up and just puts it back in the cage. And then the kids come in and he teaches his class and leaves.

You murdered their class, Matt. He was so embarrassed and scared to say that he fucking killed it. He just laughed at it. He just left. He just hit Vance on the ceiling and just sat like, sat looking and he's like, shit. He's like, oh, oh, oh, did he just

like, place it? Yeah, he just put it in his home. He put some wee chips on top of it. He put some wee chips on top of it. He put chips on top like it's sleeping. I'm just picturing its back legs and front legs are like 180 degrees apart. He takes a little plastic igloo in the cage and sits it on top of it. There he moves it.

Shhh. He's sleeping. Gotta, gotta put it in one of the tubes on that note I think that's a good place to fucking end it Jesus Christ Cody closes out guys

thank you for joining the unsubscribe podcast I was joined today by Eli Doubletap Brandon Herrera Mr. King Trout and myself Donut Operator.

Check out the after show on Patreon. Kisses. You know my name. Please be my name. You know my name. Outro Music