Unsubscribe Podcast - 204 - The Gang vs 1 Navy SEAL Operator ft. Mark Coch | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 204

Episode Date: March 17, 2025

The boys are at CPAC and find a very cool friend to join them on the podcast! Watch this episode ad-free and uncensored on Pepperbox! https://www.pepperbox.tv/ WATCH THE AFTERSHOW & BTS ON PATREON! https://www.patreon.com/UnsubscribePodcast ------------------------------ THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS! GHOSTBED Go to https://ghostbed.com/unsubscribe to receive 50% off sitewide! TUSHY Over 2 million butts love TUSHY! Get 10% off TUSHY with the code UNSUBSCRIBE at https://hellotushy.com/UNSUBSCRIBE ------------------------------ UNSUB MERCH: https://www.bunkerbranding.com/pages/unsubscribe-podcast BUY THE GANG A DRINK https://paypal.me/UnsubscribePodcast ------------------------------ FOLLOW THE HOSTS: Eli_Doubletap https://www.instagram.com/eli_doubletap/ https://www.twitch.tv/Eli_Doubletap https://x.com/Eli_Doubletap https://www.youtube.com/c/EliDoubletap Brandon Herrera https://www.youtube.com/@BrandonHerrera https://x.com/TheAKGuy https://www.instagram.com/realbrandonherrera Donut Operator https://www.youtube.com/@DonutOperator https://x.com/DonutOperator https://www.instagram.com/donutoperator The Fat Electrician https://www.youtube.com/@the_fat_electrician https://thefatelectrician.com/ https://www.instagram.com/the_fat_electrician https://www.tiktok.com/@the_fat_electrician ------------------------------ unsubscribe pod podcast episode ep unsub funny comedy military army comedian texas podcasts #podcast #comedy #funnypodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Introduction to Unsubscribe Podcast 00:01:36 - CPAC Overview 00:03:50 - Drinking at the Pentagon Story 00:05:39 - Phen's Outfit at the White House 00:08:06 - Interactions with Military 00:09:19 - Navy Reunion Story 00:11:15 - Accidental Comedy Moments 00:13:00 - Crypto Meme Coin Discussion 00:18:05 - Funny Studio Experience 00:19:30 - Cody's YouTube Fame Explained 00:20:50 - Dad's Sweet Support 00:22:10 - Funny Family Dynamics 00:23:20 - Eli's Dad's Hilarious Antics 00:25:50 - Mark's Introduction 00:27:30 - Ted Cruz Encounter 00:29:25 - Brandon's Military Experience 00:31:30 - Night Sweats and Mattresses 00:33:55 - Irish Immigrants in History 00:35:55 - Mark's Background and Navy Seals 00:37:18 - Gold Squadron Watches Explained 00:38:41 - Funny Comparisons: Watches vs. Guns 00:40:28 - Unexpected Guests on the Podcast 00:42:24 - Combat Diver Stories & Experiences 00:45:02 - Boot Camp Experiences & Challenges 00:47:05 - First Experiences in SEAL Team 5 00:50:41 - Training with Firearms and Weapons 00:53:26 - Favorite Weapons for Training 00:55:03 - Impact of Barrel Length on Accuracy 00:57:02 - Military Career Highlights 00:58:19 - Injury During Fast Rope Deployment 01:03:05 - Post-Injury Recovery and Surgery 01:04:41 - Discussion on Osama Bin Laden 01:06:11 - Failed Opportunities Against Osama 01:08:59 - Touring the White House Experience 01:11:51 - Military Rules of Engagement 01:14:11 - Darth Vader Helmet Connection 01:16:40 - Saddam Hussein's Movie Preferences 01:19:20 - Random Encounters in DC 01:21:40 - Podcast Challenges and Audio Quality 01:23:20 - Brandon's Political Aspirations 01:25:10 - Founding Fathers' Drinking Habits 01:29:15 - Planning the 4th of July Party 01:31:05 - Closing Thoughts and Farewell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

And come jokes, live at CPAC. E4 Mafia's back. Undefeated. And the last thing that goes through your head before you die? I was just really disappointed. I was like, f***, I'm dead. They're twist-off. This is gonna be like a biblical tale. We cut Mark in half. We share him.

I call his a** a dick. No, don't get him that way, Eli! Say hi to Eli. He's racially ambiguous. Brandon, his hair is fucking fabulous. Donut, a dark joke disposition. And there's a fat electrician. Welcome to Unsubscribe.

What's up, everyone? We have the new Desert Knight camos. Pans and the greens, so you can decide which you like the most. Chubby Electron guy did want this design, so we got it knocked out and they turned out amazing. And again, a giant thank you for all you amazing people supporting the brand

and making stuff like this possible. And oh my God, do we have such dope stuff in the works coming up? There's a remake of a video game coming up that has different camo patterns which we will be rolling into shoe designs and remember hey you're pretty good love y'all we got it oh my god we don't have white claws or booze to crack right now. It's okay, I have coffee. Yeah, we all have coffee.

That's what it was. No one knows what we are. I was definitely drinking coffee at the White House earlier. Cody, we're on the podcast now. Oh shit. Hi everyone, welcome to the unsubscribed podcast at CPAC. I'm joined today by Eli Doubletap, pad electrician, Brandon Herrera, myself, Donut Operator. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you so much for having us, CPAC. We're going to see how this plays out.

Yo, a big shout out to Sarah, like the Veraldo group, for putting all this. We didn't know anything we were getting into. No. We had like the Pentagon slated and then everything else just unfolded.

I wish we could just tell you guys that like directly in front of us is the stage that Elon Musk is speaking on. And about three booths down is Newsmax. And we are treated like legitimate media here, which is wild. A mistake. I have a badge that says media. It's kind of funny. Should I go on to this too?

We've had uh a wild this is the first gang episode since we've done this entire thing which we didn't know again what we were doing so uh we got to go to the pentagon that's oh yeah that happened and we got to go to the white house i wore this tank top to the pentagon and the white house and the white house dude all the dirty looks they were giving you at the Pentagon wearing your tank top. I don't give a f- I've come to one conclusion during this experiment. Everybody that actually matters thinks it's f-ing hilarious and asks for a picture.

And all the minions that are charged with walking around behind them getting their coffee orders and sucking their d- is disgusted that I'm here in a tank top and I'm more important than them. I don't care. You're in the, if you're worried about getting in trouble in the Pentagon for wearing a f***ing tank top, all you need to do is keep a pocket copy of your DD-214. I don't. I loved it. It was great the entire time. Also, I have, I have the official memorandum stating that Unsubscribed Podcast is authorized to drink redacted amount of redacted cans of alcohol in redacted areas of the pentagon it's pretty great do we do you actually have a

copy of that yet we have it on the way yeah oh fuck yes i was really hoping we could get a copy i'm framing it we We better. 100%. Let's print out a couple. This is peak E4 mafia, because like Cody, E4, me, E4, Eli, E4, and we just got authorization to drink at the Pentagon. Oh, not only that,

peak E4 mafia. Where were we? Whose desk were we at? We walked in to the Sergeantant major of the army's office and took a picture with me sitting in his chair and eli sitting in my lap and took a family picture in the sergeant major of the army's office after each drinking three white claws in the pentagon which i can't stress to you enough the amount of people that were like how do how the fuck do you guys have alcohol here this is like really really big no-no to have

alcohol in the pentagon every commands our major every commands our major i was gonna come chew you guys out and then you guys had a memo that was signed off by the secretary of the fucking army is that not the best e4 mafia story ever though it's like yeah maybe maybe we didn't do it back then but look e4 mafia is back undefeated my favorite part was uh like all of the people that were were like oh my god like they they had three white claws a piece in the pentagon it was so cute wow you guys are drunk in the Pentagon. It was so cute. Wow, you guys are drunk in the Pentagon. Like, ooh, these guys are all tipsy. We're all walking around stone-ass sober

after three white claws. Like, sure, I guess. Cool. It's like getting hit with a Nerf dart. It's like, ooh, do you need a tourniquet? No. Are you okay, buddy? You're bleeding out. I think I'll be all right i'm fine dude and they had to

like even disposing the white claw was a process they had to go through like the level of steps finn finn dressed up yesterday an m81 vietnam era field jacket wearing the whitest white slip-on vans i've ever seen in my entire life like i honestly i was saying i'm in a tank top usually people are glaring at me people are glaring at him like he was a homeless vietnam veteran that wandered into a white House. What you said in the fan was the funniest shit ever. Yeah, what did Finn say? He said, I couldn't find dress shoes at Walmart.

Yeah. We're like, stop. Brother, we're heading to the Pentagon. I stopped by Walmart. I couldn't find dress shoes. I'm like, why did you think, huh? Of all places I need to get... My favorite part was you said because he's got like just the pure white shoes. They were brand new.

M81 woodland jacket. You're like, you look like Lieutenant Dan in heaven. You look like Lieutenant Dan got to walk again. Jesus, Finn. We're bad people. No, he did have a dope jacket, but he did also look like the homeless guy that we picked up off the side of the road. Oh, dude. Homeless and living his best life.

Everyone's jealous. Pentagon still. If you guys don't know, Finn is our videographer. We walked into the Pentagon with him wearing a giant M81 coat and Walmart slippers. Honestly, it's truly a testament to m81 being the lord's flannel because like straight up i'm wearing a tuxedo tank top and everybody's like wow you went to the white house and you wore a tank top and then they would immediately turn to fin and be like i fucking love your jacket bro like that's how awesome m81 woodland camo is it was so

funny walking behind you wearing your tank top. Bro, you want to see some evil eyes? Yeah, because you had colonels, generals, majors. You had the top tier walking by us. And they were eyeing you like they wanted to knife hand you so hard. Yeah. While I'm being escorted. They can't.

Yeah, you're being escorted by a fucking colonel and a major yeah like no he's under control somehow I don't know what's going on and this is the top that like here your tank top is glowing like a like an orange legendary item and nobody can figure out why huh

to like stressing what you're saying Cody is this is the top brass of the Army. Like, General George, Chief of Staff of the Army, was down there to meet us before we filmed. Like, hey, wanted to give Nick and I haircuts and everything else. But he's just like, hey, what's up? Great to see you guys. We're like, oh, man, hey, what's up? Great to see you guys. And we're like, oh, man, hey, what's up, man?

Everyone. Everyone. I don't know what's going on. The Joint Chief just hugged the guy in the tank top. I feel like I think I'm having a stroke. I have achieved ultimate shitbag status, and it's the peak of my entire life, to be honest with you guys. Dude, P4 Mafia for life. Even the Sarn Major that was next to Sarn Major Weimers,

he was so confused of what was going on. I was like, hey, 2ID. And I was like, oh, from this year to this year. He was like, good to fuck you. He was like, I was there in 07. We deployed together. Yeah, instantly me and that dude besties I was like

can we get a photo like that's what I was like what would make Wymir the most annoyed or whatever imagine you see him in the field though one day back in you know 2007 or whatever and you think like in the back of your mind you just get this thought next time I see him is going to be in 15 years in the Pentagon

at the Pentagon bruh just get this thought. Next time I see him is going to be in 15 years in the Pentagon. At the Pentagon. Bruh. Life's fucking weird, man. We both ended up in the same place. We took different paths. Very different paths. We took the road less traveled. I'll give it that.

Path of least resistance. Slow is smooth. Smooth is fast. Path of least resistance where I drive my mclaren here oh god i'm a professional i am professional i had a weird moment here today which one i've never ran into a navy buddy and i ran into someone that i was in the navy with in 07 like 08 09 how do you run into what were we doing we were doing uh what were we doing a fucking little stand a little what we're doing a live per i don't know what that's called yeah we were just doing like a little like side panel here at cp yeah just a little panel talking about social media and stuff like that.

I didn't want to say sideshow. Well, we are kind of a sideshow. We are a sideshow. If anybody fits the description, it's us. Yeah, we're doing a little panel and like he was walking. May I just compliment? We said we weren't going to say that many bad things and the guys did pretty decent. You can swear here.

We did all of CPAC. That's why I'm super fucking happy. We did 30 minutes of CPAC. We promise not to say f***. We did 30 minutes on CPAC. We only dropped the F-bomb three times, okay? That was proud of us. And Cody only made one cum joke, which the audience did catch on to. That was so f***ing funny because you're just like,

well, uh, because they're full of sh- they're full of poo. Poo, because I can't fucking say immediately catch yourself on shit by saying Cody's that accidental comedian I said poo because I couldn't say s word because

I'm behaving so the poo fuck yeah everyone pauses he's like I keep trying to look at you guys cause every time I look forward I realize that we're in a giant hallway at a major convention and four nuns

just walked by in the middle of an unsubscribe episode you know what's so hard about this our voices fucking carry like when we're in our studio or an enclosed place we can hear each other but here like it's really hard to hear each other so we could just people watch and like do this whole thing not only is it hard to uh to hear each other though but everyone else can hear us So when we're talking about and cum jokes, live at CPAC.

You guys want to- That cop's short. I don't know if this says one for each of us and Nick gets three Bud Lights. Oh, okay. We got options. Oh, shit. Hell yeah. Hell yeah.

Okay, we can crack it finally. All right. Okay, ready? Three. Three, two, one. Okay, we can crack it finally. All right Okay, ready three What? Three two one Welcome to the subscribe podcast. We're gonna people watch and make fun of everyone

Scaffy take our word for it. It was pretty funny like literally like walking here to our booth. We walked by Javier Malay. Oh my God. Argentinian president. That just rug pulled his entire country. Which I had not heard about. I have no knowledge of this. Allegedly. Allegedly.

Allegedly he tweeted out a meme coin and like a hundred million dollars worth of investment flooded in. He deleted the tweet and then it was a huge rug pull i don't know what degree he was involved with it i don't even know if it's true but that was uh the word on the street as of right now honestly w jesus i'm kidding that's one thing that we've always like we've had an offer we've had an offer for their like would unsub do a meme do you guys want to have cum coin no I've been offered

like a million dollars up front to do basically an obvious crypto rug pull and I'm like dude go fuck yourself no like there's no content creator worth a damn it's like yeah this is gonna pay out this this time's gonna be different and we're gonna convince our audience well look it's basically free what's the cost your entire reputation so speaking of that um it's i don't even know if

it's technically a meme coin but uh we were hanging out with gordon ryan last night oh yeah uh best jujitsu guy on the planet and he is like the shining example of a way that you can actually i don't know if it was technically a crypto coin but i believe it was but he did a crypto launch but the benefit of buying it was if you buy this coin you get all of his jujitsu instructionals for free for the rest of forever whenever he makes an instructional and it was like actually like one of the few times where it was like oh that worked out and it wasn't a rug pull and he didn't fuck everybody over so it's like you're turning basically it's like crypto pepper box for kind of it would be like if we gave you a lifetime subscription to pepper box if you bought into like cum coin or whatever but I don't think we're going to go that direction.

Is it really? Oh, no. That's been a thing. Yeah, shit coins have been... Cumcoins valued at $3,000. Hey, dude, I'm still holding on to my Hawk Tua coin, man. One of these days, she'll come back. She's the only... Believe me,

she's had enough cum on her back. Hey. Alright, Andy from parks and rec that that outtake if you put the ball on the t i'm gonna hit it okay that girl went through the funny part is with that whole thing is i went on zach's um after action podcast like two months before her uh crypto coin bullshit what happened and zach released the episode like a day before she had her rug pull event and in the podcast i was like i feel like she had her 15 minutes of fame and she's getting taken advantage of and somebody's gonna fuck her over and all the comments on Zach's podcast like wow his comment aged really

really well like he saw this coming a mile away still one of my favorite on sub moments is when we're talking about how much administrative fees Wendigoons Appalachian rebuild project took I'm like oh how much this is going to who has the tokens Haley

Wendigoon his rug pulling his entire audience you should pull out of that immediately your son it's a fake charity the religious rug pull Ahhhh! Eli... Eli... Let me poop in peace Connor! I'm not playing games! Hi Eli. AHHHHH! You won't be needing this with today's sponsor, TUSHY! How will I clean my butt?

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UNSUBSCRIBE. Guys, this is the weirdest studio I've ever been in in my life. I know, random people in Make America Great Again hats are just stopping and staring at me. Before we move on, I feel the need to clarify. This is a joke. Wendigoon's a very good friend,

and you should absolutely donate to his charity. Wendigoon's the nicest person on the planet. If you can't see behind us, there's about 400 fucking people just walking the hallways. Show the other angle just withways just walk in the other angle just with that and so the other the other media people capture what we're just walking up filming us we did have people stop during genuinely very funny because there's people

walking around with twenty thousand dollar cameras and i'm just like sitting here i'm like we're four retards on a bench and we're gonna get like ten times your views. My favorite part is you guys wore the same shirt today. I did not. He's wearing his jacket. That's actually that jackets from uh, what was it the The Last of Us? Yeah, The Last of Us dude. Trust me it f***s. They're slightly different. They're like they got defensive.

They're like, no we defensive, they're like, No, we're not wearing the same jacket. No, we're not doing the same. His has buttons and mine has pearls. Yours is gay, mine's not. Listen here, man. You're gay. You're gay, not me, you're gay.

Oh my god. You didn't coordinate, so you f*** men. There are very few things that you can be certain of in life. But you can always be sure the sun will rise each morning. You can bet your bottom dollar that you'll always need air to breathe and water to drink. And, of course, you can rest assured that with Public Mobile's 5G subscription phone plans, you'll pay the same thing every month. With all of the mysteries that life has to offer a few certainties can really go a long way subscribe today for the peace of mind you've

been searching for public mobile different is calling i think my favorite part of this whole podcast so far is watching cody's old buddy from the navy desperately trying to figure out what the fuck is going on and why his friend is a famous retard he doesn't follow any of us that's a funny part he literally just like ran into an old friend and got blindsided by the fact that you're what your top 1000 youtubers on the planet right now aren't you uh 871 you're the 871 most followed youtuber on earth yeah which is like doesn't sound impressive but it's actually a lot of really impressive a lot of people who don't know youtube will probably think like oh wow that's like way lower than i thought all the people who do youtube are like holy

you crested top thousand holy shit i mean how many gold play buttons are out now it's like over a hundred thousand right no it can't be that much over a hundred thousand gold play button Yeah, no over a hundred thousand channels with a million subs how many shit? I've got a way for real oh for sure no Maybe a thousand no definitely not ten thousand definitely not fifty nine thousand fifty nine thousand That's way more than I would have thought man. I don't feel special all. 59,000 people have achieved the same thing as you. Brandon, go fuck yourself. No, no, no, no, no, no.

They achieved a million. I'm like four times that now. You don't get another play button until 10. Yeah, I will never get that. The sweetest thing that I've heard this week is my dad said, you should do a game show as a youtuber and I said dad mr. B says that he said who's mr. beast as he's the

biggest youtuber of all time my dad says I thought you were the biggest youtuber of all time in a little doughnuts heart no that's so sweet, Dad. But no. You know he's been telling all his friends his son is the biggest YouTuber ever. Oh, absolutely. I don't want to be gay about this. I don't know of another two people on the planet that I think I have a closer

relationship with formed on a smaller amount of time than your parents. i've probably been around your parents cumulatively maybe seven to eight hours ever and i legitimately think i could call your mother and she would fly to my house to babysit my kids if i asked her to oh yeah like she legitimately treats me like her son you have the nicest parents on the planet. Oh, dude, they'll take care of you all day long. I know.

I'll be having a bad day, and your mom will just text me out of nowhere, say, like, I love you. If you need anything, let me know. I'm just like, aw. She can sense it. Yeah, she's got the mom sense. Fuck. Hey, Brandon, you're sad.

Is Cody all right, though? Is she all right? all right that fat electrician he's doing sad things i'm gonna go fly and see him the sweetest mom of all brandon you you can't yourself yet it'd be bad for cody i swear to god don't put the shotgun in your mouth that'd be really bad i'm gonna hit your mom up i'm not even gonna tell you I'm not even gonna invite you I'm just gonna invite both your parents out to Iowa to stay with me be on an episode of Fat Pews to shoot guns and hang out

with my family and not fucking invite you our parents would do that too 100% you should invite Eli's mom too yeah she'll show up she's dead you might have to go remote FaceTime a grave I would bet money Eli's dad would show up. She's dead. You might have to go remote. I would bet money. I'm sorry.

Eli's dad would show up though. He would drive a Harley. He'd show up a couple days late because he rode his bike there, but he would show up. 100% my dad. I'm like mildly scared though because like your dad's going to show up and start like judging my house and all the things that are wrong with it.

What the f***? You're going to fix all this shit you get woken up at five o'clock in the morning because eli's dad's doing the tile i know just mexican my brother had to yell at him because he tried to fix my brother's brand new lawnmower he's like the blades are dull he's like dad they're brand new stop why do you take them off my dad had disassembled the lawnmower to sharpen them by hand oh my god yeah just old school mexican they put it together wrong though because it's new tech only time in unsub history i think i've almost cried is when eli seeing your dad see you do unsub live in dallas was like i'm not gonna cry so i'm not i gotta go pee dude that was that easiest i was like oh that's my first my dad's

never seen this i was like oh oh jay caught that on camera well i'm drunk too so i'm gonna make a live video of me crying and then i'm gonna pull all the guys together and cry in front of it Me can you was so confused. Papa Mews like oh Fucking Papa meat sat next to me at the Gundy's this year in Las Vegas Oh, yep, like our live show there wanted to oh, yeah Yeah, no, no at the gun. Oh, yeah Ward show cuz he walked in forgot You guys were actually there for that. It was me, Zach, and Hannah sitting there and Papa Meat walked in just kind of like

blatantly not knowing what's going on. I was like, yo, hey. He sat next to me. You want to talk about trying to not appear like a f***ing asshole? Papa Meat leaning over, whispering in your ear with all his voice interpretations and shit of like

he because I think the gun everybody's seeing it Eli everybody at the Gundy's is like super deep into 2a and they understand everything that's going on but like it's like a level 30 meme on the internet you know what I mean so like but also everybody who's won a Gundy is basically a caricature of some variety. Sure. But the sponsor would come up and they'd be like, we're really pushing and spending a lot of our money and effort into having concealed carry reciprocity across all of the United States. And Papa Meat is like, I don't know what the fuck concealed carry reciprocity even is.

And he's just doing his caricatures in my ear the whole time. I'm desperately trying not to laugh out loud while there's serious conversations going on. It was awful. Do we have another mic? Do you want, hey, I'll stand up. Do you want Mark to tell a story? Yeah, we'll scoot over and we'll focus on this side.

Get over here! On that note, can I introduce our guest? Yes! Can I say your full past? You want to tell a story? Get over here. On that note, can I introduce our guest with us tonight? Can I say your full past? Sure, man. Okay. Whatever you know of it. 25 years on the SEAL teams, eight years with a gold team on Team 6.

A great person. Wonderful human being. We would just love to hang out with you and hear some stories from you. All right. Cool, man. What do you want to know? I mean, name? He was just saying. Introduce yourself. Oh, sorry. Come on, guys. out with you and hear some stories from you all right cool man what do you want to know i mean uh name he was just saying introduce oh sorry come on god random seal man sorry yeah random seal

just showed up um no i'm mark mark nice he said not saying my last name but uh but everybody's name is mark so uh my last name shorten is coach so that's what people know me as coach wow do you know how hard it is to find a seal that doesn't have a book yeah Mark what are you writing your book dude yeah that ain't ever gonna happen sorry Mark's new book yeah yeah they fucking heard that they heard you were never writing a book and they flipped your trident. It's like you almost have to have creative writing get through buds these days. It's an elective.

It's part of Hell Week. That's Hell Week. It's like you have to write a poem. You're doing a haiku. The tide was heavy. That's too many syllables. You're struggling with the haiku. Knuckle dragon frog man here. The tide was heavy. No, that's too many syllables. Come on. You're struggling with the haiku. Knuckle-dragging frog man here.

No, that ain't gonna happen. The amount of people that don't know what a haiku is. I knew what it was. I know. I also love we're explaining the intricacies of Hell Week and haikus while Ted Cruz walks by. Yeah, there goes Ted Cruz. Literally Ted Cruz. Why not?

He looked at us appropriately like a bunch of retards. Dismissed us immediately. Retarded. We can say that now, right? He said it. Not like we ever stopped. I saw that on X the other day. elon was talking to there

was this one guy who was just talking about all the social security stuff you know they're talking about all the fraud that's happening with that right now and somebody's like oh my god i can't believe elon doesn't know uh how to use sql and elon replies this retard thinks the government uses sql dude seeing that i was like from elon current elon it's like all retard is so back is he on stage right now i think so i tweeted about that because they were like elon doesn't realize that the reason that they're 150 years old collecting social security is because of the the coding method used is uh seaball And Seaball is like literally one of the first coding types

ever from like the 1940s. And I was like, wait, does Social Security still operate on Seaball? Like it was literally out of date by the 1970s. That's like using vacuum tubes

and shit. No, 100%. That's like opening up the nuclear football and it's, do you want to play a game? It's like, oh, fuck. That was the 80s, dude. Apparently it still runs on that. Dude, Mark, we had, I mean, you have, I mean, you're the only

one that joined before I was born. Yeah. When you told me when you joined, I was like, damn. Now I know what the guys feel like. Did you fight for the North or the South when you got in? Yeah. What year did you join? 84.

Which you look fantastic. Like, brother, I never thought 84 is when you joined. That's why I told him after I left dinner, I was like, wait a minute. How the f***ing old was that guy? He didn't seem like he was that old. How old are you? I'm 58. I misheard that from this side. Like we said, the acoustics

in here are like dog shit. I thought I overheard you said you were 84. I'm like, he's f***ing with us. Absolutely. I'm like, I don't f*** him. That's when Brandon has that. He looks in the mirror. He's like, I'm aging terribly. I was going to up to the hotel room and pull an Anthony Bourdain

let me help you I'll have my moment of honesty here whenever I watch an old AK guy video I was like that's not that's not Brandon it's not the same person how did you get 30% darker for no reason?

Texas. Since I've known you. Texas. This Mexican came out. I tried to spend more time in the sun. Como estas? Like, I went back and I was like, I'm going to watch all the original AK versus AR guy videos. And I was like, that is.

Well, people don't realize when i first started doing that shit i was like 19 yeah it's like it's been 10 years homie jesus brandon was a baby i remember watching ak guy versus ar guy and it's like baby brandon i remember seeing that video like oh holy shit i was, that doesn't look like 10 years. I'm like, well, it matters which 10 years because 19 to 29 is a huge jump. Especially depending on how much drinking you're doing. Well, yeah, there's also that. Papa Eli.

All right. This is coffee. Some of us went to bed at 10 o'clock last night. No, we didn't. Nobody did that. I was talking about Eli. Yeah. Some of us went to bed at 10 o'clock last night. Hey, I... No, we didn't. Nobody did that. I was talking about Eli. Yeah.

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I'll show up under your bed and make ghost noises until you do. Go now. I just want to reiterate, none of this was in the script. I don't know. We started talking like random stuff. I get sleep. I'm the only one that took a nap.

I was like, where are you guys at? We were talking so much shit about you when you left oh Eli we were at that we were at the bar and Eli's like I'm gonna go take a nap real quick and all three of us are like I don't know how the he goes and sleeps for an hour he does his siestas you know they do that shit is it possible to learn this power yeah please I'm trying to get my girlfriend to teach me that not from a gringo way this family even sav she was thrown off at like turkey day like noon we're all asleep and she's like you were not around like your entire family passes out for an hour and then i wake wake up and look

oh my god let's drink more let's party till the evening i swear one of my favorite parts of american history is there was an entire battalion during the mexican-american war that was a hundred percent irish like irish catholics that came over as immigrants and enlisted in the irish army and they fought in the mexican-american war and they were like wait wait these guys are these guys are catholic holy shit you can put potatoes in a breakfast burrito and then they're like we're switching sides they straight up switch sides during the mexican-american war no there's a full like community of like irish irish mexicans in mexico to this day because this entire battalion of Irish immigrants switched teams during the middle of the Mexican-American War. It's really funny because when we were talking about getting show her citizenship at the Pentagon yesterday, just like around joking around.

You're like, listen, we need a favor. There's this person we know. She's a potato Mexican, but that's beside the point. She's living her best life. So we went to the White House and it was a big deal because show the White House show is not an American citizen. And apparently it was a big deal for like a not American citizen to show up to the White House and get a tour or whatever. So show had to have like a different designation than the rest of us where she needed a guided escort the entire time. And so Sho shows up knowing this already.

She shows up wearing a black trench coat, a black shirt and sunglasses. She looked like a spy. I'm glad you dressed like a fucking spy after you were already like on the radar. She just needed like a big-brimmed black hat and a spy mask. I should dress up like Carmen Sandiego

the entire time. The driver went to go start the car. I went, You're not blending in, show. Fuck, man. Mark. Mark. What's up, man? What's up down down there can i hear about your background a little bit my background uh well sure wait this is i love this this is a a reoccurring theme i you

didn't know what navy seals thanks mark when you joined watch i'm kidding i know navy seals this is one thing that's like you didn't know what they were. Nobody knew what a SEAL was in 1984. Yeah. I mean, it wasn't out there. It was on the internet, yeah. Yeah. Nobody knew what the hell was going on.

Can I tell the pretext to how I figured this out? So, like, total watch nerd, my favorite watch is a Tudor Pelagos. I was like, oh, the dude across the table from me has the same watch and i like brought it up in conversation he's like yeah i mean yeah kind of sort of not really and he shows me his different and on a tudor pelagos it says pelagos in red on every pelagos period and his is in gold and he's like yeah there's not a whole lot of these go ahead hey i was it goes back the the tutor company and and you know frogmen go back way back right so one of our guys we're looking for a squadron watch and he had a connection through his father who was a watch maker or

whatever i don't know the whole story on that but so they made a deal with Tudor and they made squadron watches for us. And mine says it's in gold because I was gold squadron. The red guys are in red. The blue guys are in blue. Silver and silver. Imagine you're in red squadron and you just get a regular Tudor watch. You're like, fuck! Yeah, but it's still a little different.

There's something else that's... So, I mean, how many of those Pelagoses are in existence, if you had to guess? Like 30? 60? Maybe? Ever? There's something else that's... Yeah, so I mean, how many of those Pelagoses are in existence, if you had to guess? Like 30, 60, maybe, ever? There's probably... These with the gold one on it? Yeah, with the gold Pelagos? With the gold Pelagos, there's probably 100, 150, maybe.

Yeah, ever. Maybe. And you've got to be like a special person to get one? It goes even worse than that, because the serial number on this one, it's attached to my name. So if this shows up on the black market, some gray market, Tudor will be like, what the hell? Because I can't sell it? I can't give it away? So you're not allowed to sell it, period?

Nope. Oh, no shit. No, I can't sell this. That's kind of cool. Yeah. Watches are more regulated than Super Bowl rings and Olympic medals. It's kind of wild yeah yeah watches are more regulated than like super bowl rings and olympic medals it's kind of wild i mean some guns you have a unique thing that you can't give away can't give it away i suppose my kids could inherit and whatever but i'll probably just

you know will it back to the team and give it to uh you know unsub i love it yeah thank you so much thank you so much I'll cherish that forever frame it that is a very funny comparison now that I think of like super American moment it's like hey brother can I buy that watch nah sorry I can't but would you like this MG42

yeah if you don't live in California so gold squadron seal team 6 yeah we can say the number now when I was there Yeah, if you don't live in California. So, Gold Squadron, SEAL Team 6? Yeah, we can say the number now. When I was there, you didn't say the number. So, I mean, you were actual SEAL Team 6. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean. Two of you now have been here. Talk shit to Terry. Tell him he sucks. New guy. Like, Terry was a new guy when. Yeah, he was like two years after me he showed up i think he was green team 97 or 98 that's why i was like holy shit he's like you mean new guy terry i was like bro and i think i'm aging better than him anyway but anyway i mean to be fair when terry came on so we had felt we had

to film two podcasts that night and it was the day before our big range day and eli didn't brief me like an asshole so eli is like so we filmed our our gang episode and now we have to go to we're gonna go to the pre-range day party for like 30 minutes and we're going to come back and we're going to interview Terry. I was like, cool. Quick question, who the f*** is Terry? They're like, oh, it's that guy over there that showed up with Kevin. I was like... Terry, I love you, but he's like this tall.

Like normal, average, blue-collar looking dude. I was like, maybe he was an electrician for 50 years? I have no f***ing idea. And Eli is like, he was the guy that saved Captain Phillips on the ship. I was like, oh was an electrician for 50 years i have no idea and eli is like he was he was the guy that saved captain phillips on the ship oh shit terry okay yeah no i'll come back for that for sure yeah absolutely it's always fun it's like half the on sub guests because like because we don't usually pick the guests like it's usually just somebody that is anointed to us uh and then like i find out like 10 minutes into the episode i'm like oh shit they're cool as

i find out with the audience like we're asking genuine questions the guys are figuring out on spots like wow this is amazing even with some exceptions but you know even with like the pentagon episode it's like oh hey real quick we're gonna just like streamline the top five sergeant majors in the entire army through your podcast real quick and it's like all five sergeant majors if they were outside of uniform that clearly showed like all their accomplishments would not be intimidating human beings at all and all five of them are like oh shit homeboys combat scuba and halo jump expert i'm gonna go sit in the corner dude rob haney sat down and i like just looked at his stack i was like holy shit bro you are stacked he's like what and then

brandon i'm like i'm like yo there's a bit in the podcast where i literally just like tap cody on the shoulder and i just lean back and i point at his stack and cody just goes what the like one of the most physically unassuming guys ever and it's like holy shit sergeant major and he worked through all three all three Ranger bats and he was like oh yeah and then I got Combat Diver and Halo but when he talked about what was his Combat Diver story you don't drown

he said and I quote I didn't technically drown I just had too much carbon dioxide in my brain and I passed out that was it alright yeah I've done that much carbon dioxide in my brain and i passed out that was it that's how we did all right yeah i've done that

how was your like how many you've probably experienced oh yeah yeah i got to do that in buds actually we're obstacle loading and so you've got obstacles we're doing the whole udt thing where you you know put bombs on underwater obstacles. We still do it because it's a— Like, for example, Russian pipelines and things. Well, I'm not going to expand on that. That's crazy. Technical difficulties.

No, but I got down there, and you've got to tie in your explosives to the trunk line so they all go up at the same time. And I'm there tying the knot and there's all this surge and i'm holding on hanging that you start chicken necking you and then i just didn't have to breathe anymore i'm like wow that's kind of cool and it's like everything is relaxed and wait something's wrong here but now your brain's starting to shut down so i was like what's wrong i'm not sure holy crap so i'm sitting there thinking about it and i blew some bubbles and i they went up so i kicked up and the next thing i know i was uh on the surface i passed out on the way up but oh fuck what is like i guess what's your background but like background as far as like where did you grow

up how did you grow up oh i was a latchkey kid, you know, Pismo Beach, California. Are you aware of that place? It's a really nice town now. Back in the 70s, it was kind of much smaller. We grew up poor up, you know, in a bunkhouse. Me and my four brothers and, you know, just goofing off and running around, jumping off of things, and just doing stupid shit, climbing the hill and sliding down on fucking cardboard and just being a boy.

I'm just amazed that my brothers and I made it out of childhood with sight in both eyes and all our fingers attached. I'm going to be honest. I might be one of, if not the foremost leading expert on war heroes in American history. Not a single story starts out with like, this kid comes from an affluent family. Like not a single one is like, dad was rich, had a lot of money. Love life. I was about to say fucking.

New love at a young age. I mean, I joined the joined the navy exactly what bark was saying like yeah i i joined the navy because i just both my folks were high school teachers and like you're going to go to college of course we don't have any money but you're gonna go to college so i'm like well i'll figure it out so i joined the navy to get money for college. Had no idea what the hell I was doing. I get to boot camp and it's so fucking easy. It was just stupid easy. Just for the record, this is 1987

boot camp. 84 boot camp. When they're still allowed to hit you. A little bit. Yeah, that's easy. The drill instructor can't hit as hard as dad. It's funny because I was thinking about that You're like Drew Sarn is like a bitch Not a single American hero

Comes from an affluent family It's like yeah you never do hear about those medal of honor recipients Like well life started out when I was captain of the polo cross team There I was No it's a lot of Sean Strickland stories. Not a lot of those. So I just, I was like, well, what else you got? I'm like, well, I got this UDT seal thing. I'm like, what the hell is that? Well, I get to jump out airplanes, shoot things and blow shit up. I'm like, cool. Sign me up. So I was just doing it for the challenge basically and you know i didn't really know what a seal was until i was one i was like wow that's what we do cool that's

part of my ignorance but how long had the seal program been around before that uh 62 is when uh they they started it up that's the crazy part to me is like i i don't know i like i have this mental block where i can't grasp because like i grew up in middle school watching like making the cut and like so everybody had a great grasp on like how insane special forces navy seals green berets 75th ranger all these guys all their training was like i can't fathom talking to a recruiter and just having no idea what that meant. And be like, sure, I'll do it. And then just going into that program blind.

It seemed like a good idea at the time. I mean, what the hell? At one moment, you're like, hmm. I was, what, 19? I was 21 when I went through BUDS. So yeah, you're young and dumb and just figuring shit out. How many years did it take? I forgot one part.

You started at your, like, what SEAL team did you start at? And then how long did it take to get to 6? Yeah, so I started off at SEAL Team 5. I was there for five years. Did four deployments in five years. And this was pre-war. I was just getting after it. I wanted to be out there if something happened you know I wanted to get in a fight and

that didn't well I mean I had a couple you know shaves close call but you know I worked for Ronald Reagan so you know that's a that's actually a crazy sentence now that you put it out there. You ever catch a trickle-down ass whooping? The tip of the spear on the war on drugs. Well, there's a little more to it, but yeah. There's always a little more to it. Still don't want to, you know. It started as a joke and then I thought about it. So at what point were you like,

when you got to dev group, or what was your worst, actually, what was your worst day at like Bud's? Oh, worst day at Bud's. Yeah. I would have been probably Wednesday or Thursday night when all my toenails fell off. Jesus.

Yeah. So the breakout is on Sunday night. I'm sorry. Did you just say all your toenails fell off? Yeah. They turned black. Jesus Christ. I'm more important.

He said Wednesday or Thursday night. It was very highly specific remembering the date. Well, I lost my socks the first night, okay, at the Steel Pier. And I didn't get a new pair of socks until Wednesday. And so when I pulled off my socks on, I think it was Thursday, toenails came with them. Well, not all of them. I had to pull a couple off. They were hanging.

Oh, yeah, that's not too bad. I'm glad you're not laughing like a psychopath. That was a long time ago, man. I mean, what the hell? I only had two more days left. The fuck else can you do? Jesus. You should pull it off.

You're like, oh. Well, and then the same time we have these health and, you know, they look and make sure you're not, you know, nursing anything or that you got, you know, open sores or whatever. So you strip down naked and they, you know, look you over. And I had this huge blister. They're twist off. I just booped you without booping you.

Fuck you, Eli. The angry electrician. He's like, Hulk smash. Is anybody else on nicotine, actually? It's like, what? It's the earlier Nick. Some are, some aren't, okay?

I booked you at lunch. Just catching you up on what's happening right now. Elon is in the next room giving his speech. We're out here doing our retard shit. Infinitely more interested in Mark over here, to be honest with you. I don't. Oh, dude, I know.

I'm so excited for Mark's stories. I can watch that on Twitter later. Can't do this later. Good point. Not on YouTube. Yeah. Not without Mark. Yeah. Well, I mean, well. Yeah. Not without Mark. Yeah.

Well, I mean, well, the ironic part is I literally can, but I need to do this part first. Yeah. We have to live in the moment. In the moment. Yeah. Dude, thank you for joining. You're like a couple down working with- Smith and Wesson.

Yeah, that's my new gig. I'm the- New gig? How new? I moved there in October. From? From San Diego to Tennessee. what were you doing in san diego uh well for the last 13 years i was teaching i was a contract buds instructor teaching uh firearms weapons so i mean god damn it's got to be a hard gig in san diego bait it's not bad basically the hefty majority of all seals in operation

right now were taught by you about 4,000 of them yeah Jesus Christ so you shot like 100 bullets yeah one or two oh I didn't catch the implication on that I was thinking Mark shot one person maybe

maybe Catch the implication on that. I was thinking civilian side. Mark shot one person maybe. Maybe. Holy shit. So you were just training on the contract. How many rounds did you train? Like at your peak, how many rounds were you shooting a day? We had like Tyler Gray when he was on last. He was doing like 1,000 rounds a day.

He was like, yeah, it was like 1,000. 5,000 a week is what we were shooting at Damn Neck pretty much. And that was pretty much year round. 5,000 a night? A week. A week. A week. Oh, oh, oh. That makes it better.

What the fuck? Yeah, we can't hear you down here. Sorry, but 5,000 a week. It wasn't like just doing mag dumps. It was like you're training. Yeah. What was that? That was DevGroove training, like 5,000 a week?

Yeah. Fuck me, dude. How can you hear us? Have you had your lead levels checked? Oh, yeah. They tested us once, and then we asked what the results were, and they're like, I think we need to recalibrate the machines. So they just, yeah.

They just gave you chemo. I used to have a really thick head of hair. For no reason, they just give you chemo? Mark's immune to x-rays. Machine's not working right. That's weird. I literally, when I had my fight last year, or, god, now it's almost two years ago.

That's horrible. I was getting all those tests. They make you do an STD test and everything because you're going to be spilling blood and shit like that. They make you get all these tests done. I threw in a lead level check in the mix because I was like, I should probably know that. I was like, oh, that number's not too bad.

It was like a nine point something. Like, oh, that's not bad. Well, that's red. It's red, though. I should probably, oh, that number's not too bad. It was like a nine point something. Like, oh, that's not bad. Well, that's red. It's red, though. I should probably, and I Googled like dangerous starts at like six. I was like, oh, that's cool. Who might have to look into that? I don't know.

Really, you probably should. I don't know what the fix is, to be honest. What do we know, Mark? What do we know? I'm just going to keep doing what I'm doing until I'm done. You know, the hell. What was your favorite platform? What am I, a rocket surgeon?

Fuck it. A rocket surgeon? Yeah, fuck it. What was your favorite weapon to train with, like, as you got new ones integrated into the system? The one I was most excited to start training with was the MP5, just because it was the coolest thing you know going but you know and and we did for years uh that was the any self-respecting counter-terrorist uh unit in the world after princess gate happened you know with h and k up front center that's what you had so that was that was probably the most fun but honestly uh them for you know the the shorty version of the m4 those that's like the most practical thing it's more effective you know

mp5s get out to 50 maybe 100 yards and yeah when did when did you get out uh i retired in 2010 did you fuck around with like 300 blackout or anything before you got out? That was just kind of starting to come in. Oh, geez. We were looking at it when I was at Warcom in like 06, 05. They were, you know, trying to figure out. They were doing the 6.8 SPC, you know, thing. Oh, it's whatever.

Kevin's a friend. Kevin. Owner of Q. 300 whatever. Kevin's a friend. Kevin. Owner of Q. 300 Blackout dude that created that. The Honey Badger and everything. 300 Blackout is an awesome freaking round, but it's specifically for a short gun and to be subsonic

because 5.56 subsonic sucks. Yeah. And it's stupid. You know what I mean? Shooting a.22 at somebody at that point, right? The whole purpose of 5.56.223 is that it's traveling at 3,000 plus feet per second. It is out of a 20-inch tube.

But as you cut that barrel down, it goes a little slower, and then it doesn't yaw as fast. Plus they put a tighter twist to make it more accurate. The original has a 1 in 12, so that thing's barely stable. So as soon as it flesh it turns over and it does just amazing things to flesh Have you ever if you're brought the new 8.6 at all? No, but I want to Come down man. You come out to Iowa***ing Iowa so you can have a one-on-one dinner date with Nick, or you can come down with the rest of us.

You get to hang out with me and my kids? That's fine. You're not going to scare me. Hard cut, Nick's crying. He scared me. He scared me. San Antonio. San Antonio. Hey, He scared me. He scared me. San Antonio. San Antonio. Hey, I dig me some Texas, too, man. Oh, hell yeah, brother.

I love fucking Texas, man. Dude, you'll love that. That 8.6, like, watch, text Terry about it and ask him about it because that round is, we've all talked about it. You have a four-inch barrel and you're fine. It's a one-to-three twist rate and the the all subsonic, and when it hits, it explodes. It's just shit. Yeah.

Wild. I wonder if they can hear the random increments of bass that just come from the actual auditorium. Dude, it's more weird as people, like when I was readjusting the cameras, were like, hey, these people are coming through. Do you want them on your podcast? I was like, no. I saw that. Some of the people they were asking about, I overheard that.

It's like, who the fuck? No. Yeah. Oh, thank you so much. We're going to move the needle. It's like, would you like the college conservative party leader of El Salvador? It's like, not really. No.

So what do you like? You done, what was your most, like, the best part of your military career, especially in gold team? Oh, being a solter on gold team was, that was like, that's the pinnacle. You know, we get, we did three months in uh in afghanistan uh with a second group over there and we're still trying to figure things out you know um going after you know elvis sightings is where he started calling him because yeah hey he might be here and whatever elvis wasn't in the building he's saying uh c Cody can't hear you. We're going down there.

We're like, what? Even if I speak louder into this thing, you're not going to hear anymore. That's the motherfucker about it. We could people watch and just sit here and have a good time. They were doing Elvis sightings in Afghanistan. Looking for the man.

And he wasn't around. The man, the myth, the water burial. Boom. Jeez. Sorry, too hardcore. I love you. I mean, we were still going in hot, you know, still going, you know, as if something was there. Even on, you know, you don't know it's a dry target until you check it out and uh the last mission um i got injured um it was they advertised tf160 advertised

a 20 foot fast rope i'm like cool and i was like the last guy out and i'm looking down and there's it's 110 foot fast rope and there's maybe 10 feet of it on the on the deck i was like well that's a little more but because it was a they advertised a short one i had my you know little shooter gloves on it and my fast rope gloves on so i went zipping down that thing as i'm looking out i was like the last guy off the plane i'm looking around go this doesn't look like the pictures you know and um we were on the wrong target um anyway so i just zipped down there and I hit. And you kind of push the rope away and go to grab your gun. And I stepped back when I did that. Well, I thought I was in the middle of this building.

I was actually, my heels were on the edge. And when I stepped back, I stepped back into nothing. Oh. So I, yeah, on nods. And just, so I fall back. And the last thing that goes through your head before you die, I was just really disappointed. I was like, fuck, I'm dead, as I fell. And then I start hitting you, boom, boom, boom, and then you stop falling.

You come to a stop, and you're like, fuck, I'm not dead. And then you've got to figure out, all right, what the fuck is going on here? And there's this animal in this pen made of sticks that's going nuts. I'm like, this cow's going to come out here and stomp me to death. So no time to wait for the backboard. So I did a quick systems check. Animal way better than a bunch of Arabic-speaking dudes. Yeah, well.

So I get up. The animals think that too. Yeah. Thank you for that beautiful bucket. Swipe off the tea. It turned out they were goats. Holy shit, thank God. I was like, all the techs sit underneath.

Thank God it's an American. Yeah. Well, I got my shit back together. My back was hurt and my leg was f***ed up. My nods tried to poke my eyes out. But I had clear eye pro underneath. That's the only reason i've got eyes to see you with right now because it was would have just knocked me out so um i picked myself up and i can't move real good my back's just pinching me but uh you know one of the guys told me later uh they when they saw me go off the

edge they looked down when i hit my uh camelback it was full of water it burst so they see me laying there in a spreading pool of black liquid going well okay coach is dead how the we got this building you know off this route jesus so i got my comms back on i'm like oh yeah i'm not dead uh and i just kind of found a place where i could see them on the roof and kind of de-conflict. How far was the drop? It was two stories. I hit the top of the second story. Off the second story, I hit the edge of the first story, the top of the animal pen as I hit. And it kind of spun me around and landed me in the yard.

There's no depth perception. Oh, yeah. I mean, it wouldn't have mattered at that point. I mean, I stepped backwards into nothing. So frogman luck, right? If I'd gone off two sides, I would have landed on the next deck down. Where I fell was two, and then that side over there was 100 feet before it would have touched anything. So I really would have been dead had it been just 90 degrees off.

Jesus. Luckily, that camelback probably saved a lot of your fall, too. It might have. I mean, you've got body armor on. You've got a helmet. I crash-tested the helmet. That's a word? Yeah.

And then I had this big meatball on my shin, big hematoma that came up. So they're like, eh. When the sun came up up they medevaced me and one other guy who fell off another roof uh it was it was a shit show wait two people fell yeah yeah but he fell on the the one one story and just fell on his back yeah anyway yeah he only fell one story in the middle of the night when full kit. You did the entire evening?

I finished out, yeah. And then in the morning, Hilo came in. I couldn't do dynamic clearance, obviously, but I found a useful job watching a... Pulling security.

Yeah. Trust me, I know, bro. You get zero shit out from me. You're like, I don't know. 10 to 2. I'm good. I'm good. Yeah.

I got you. Because I told him I can't move. I'm just going to stand here. Because I wasn't really mobile at that point. Professional mag dumper. I'm going to watch right here and that's it. I'll kill anything, though. Right here, done.

Yeah, yeah, watch out. I own this, right? Yeah, so they made it back to me and went to the hospital, and they kept me for a couple of days, and they wanted to operate. And I was like, we're going home in a couple of days. Fuck this. I'll just wait until I get home. And so I got surgery.

When everybody else went home we landed and i went to the hospital to get my uh my leg worked on and then my shoulder was jacked up i couldn't it was just impinged because it you know in the fall whatever uh slap tear and some other stuff and um when we got back we found out we're going to be the guys that invade iraq i'm like i'm not going under the knife now i ain't missing that so they shot me with um the light zone yeah cortisol yeah whatever cortisone oh lidocaine oh yeah yeah and it was like it just it didn't hurt i just couldn't get my arm higher than this and then they shot that i was like it's not supposed to do that but i can do it anyways

so we trained up for a couple of months and they gave me another shot on the way uh you know out and said that's the two you get when you get home we got to do surgery so that was the um you know so i got to go you know invade iraq which is cool oh dang you so you were man it's so fucking loud here. I wish they would... I wish this giant conference would close their doors and be considerate

of our five-man podcast. Yeah, Elon. Shut up. Shut up for a second. I can hear what Mark's saying. Was that actually Elon up there? Nice. Fuck yeah.

Oh, God. So at dinner last night, he brought up Osama and Clinton. How inconsiderate. And I kind of brought it into like, oh, if he didn't have a reason to hate Clinton, the dude I just did the whole 90-minute video on, Billy Wah, he was sent into Sudan, I think. Wow, what an expert. In like the 1990s. So it was like the 1990s.

He got sent into Sudan and was basically put in charge of like trailing Osama bin Laden. He was like almost 70 at the time spying on the guy. And he comes to the conclusion of like he's like a religious leader

on top of being a regular leader we should just take this guy out now and not worry about it in the 90s and plot twist he does it 2001 the towers fall anyway you go back in time and save

flight whatever the fuck and then the towers still fall those loose change guys got something there huh no so he ends up like tailing Osama Bin Laden for a while and he's like we should just take this dude out and he writes up an op order

for the CIA and he's like hey I kind of just want to kill this guy and then we're going to throw him over the iranian embassy wall with a flashbang grenade to get news coverage and blame it on somebody else and it makes it all the way to bill clinton's desk and bill clinton's like no we're not doing that please don't ask about this again so they pull him off the case and osama bin laden is basically allowed to grow al-qaeda for another 10 years uninterrupted and he's like like one of the biggest regrets he writes about is like if i had known what he'd done i'd he's like i would i had an apartment overlooking his compound

i took pictures of him daily i could have absolutely gotten a shot off he's like i wish i'd have taken him out right then back when when it was still Tim Osmond. Yeah. Do you know that this is the guy that caught the jackal? Do you know this story? Yeah, he was telling me last night. I told him last night at dinner. It was a wild story. It's like Carlos the Jackal is the most notorious assassin,

and it's the same dude that caught that guy. Went in, caught him in like a month. Dude was on the run for like nine governments for 18 years, and they sent in Billy Wah, and he's like, yep found him at a market rented huh at a marketplace so he put in an order for a new bodyguard and they intercepted it and billy waugh like tracked down the new bodyguard found the bodyguard went to his apartment found out where the guy lived paid off the landlord to buy out the apartment directly above him and was spying on him that's why you always tip your landlord brandon herrera tip your landlord no no and uh so he like spying on the guy and he's like oh he has

a toothache and then they pay off the local dentist to give him a call and be like, yeah, we're offering free checkups, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and get the jackal to go in for a free dental checkup because he has a toothache. And they're like, oh, yeah, you need a root canal. You want that done now? Oh, sure. Why not? Hit him with laughing gas. Motherfucker wakes up on a plane headed to France in handcuffs, still in jail to this day.

Did he ever fix his teeth? I don't care. Fuck him. Holy shit. Speaking of the Clintons, it was very funny this morning to be walking past, I don't know if anybody else thinks like this, because it's just very funny to me.

Uh, walking past the very desks that, uh, Clinton and Monica Lewinsky. Yeah. It's apparently a big highlight of Trump's personal tours. You want to see where Monica Lewinsky had a book deal? Do you want to see where the blue dress was minted?

In the words of Dave Chappelle, you ever been so famous that somebody could suck your dick and then they're famous? You got sexually transmitted fame? It's insane. I feel like if anybody's got its potus, you know. Meanwhile, I'm walking through the West Wing this morning.

We're getting a very private, just a little tour. Very quick little run around. And we're going through, and my brain unfortunately works in cinema like I know yours does. So we're walking out the West Wing toward where the presidential entrance is.

Past the Oval Office. And I turn to Cody and I go, west wing toward like i guess like where the presidential entrance is um past the oval office and i turn to cody and i go dude this is where that firefight from civil war happened it's just breaking that down you remember that oh yeah the last firefight yeah oh yeah and i turn around i'm like oh yeah this is it It was like a kid in a candy store. I say this to Cody, he just goes, oh. I'm such a fucking cinema buff. I turn around and I'm like, oh, this is it.

Breakout, breakout, breakout. Where the dudes are going down the corridor going to the noble office. We walked down that hallway and I was like, oh, that's the thing that happened in that movie. Dude, that was a wild experience like from each location from the pentagon to the white house

and then how they walk you through the white house also cold as balls in DC yeah it's not that bad fuck you man okay tank top man right now Texas is in the middle of an apocalypse because it is 28 degrees right now.

With wind chill, it was negative 34 when I left my house. It was not a big deal. You should man up. God hates Iowa. Also, wild experience to be like for the White House today. None of us knew anything going into that. So we were just like, and then we had to talk. And they were like, hi.

Okay. We had to talk. That's all you can say? Yeah, like, we had to talk. Yeah, we just went in there to say hey to everyone. Yeah. And then we had a guide through the whole thing. Yeah, big shout out

uh seb gorka a good friend sebastian gorka took us through the entire thing that was randomly just texted like hey dude i already i have a meeting in uh the eisenhower building today like can we just like uh do you have like two minutes i know you're super busy he came in like fucking took us on a whole tour and everything. It's just rad. Because did you get to watch that switch, too, from, like, full war? Where I guarantee they were like, here, do whatever you want. And you're like, uh. The longer you're in a situation, it's like, you know, the frog in the boiling water, right? It's like the ROEs change just a little bit and they creep up on you.

And next thing you know, you can't do shit unless you're calling up hey can I shoot this guy that shot at me? Yeah. And then the bad guys they learn this stuff. You know they take a couple shots they drop their gun and you know they're standing in a field. You can't shoot them. And we talked about I always say when we went into the last AOE

it was a Mokadilla and they're like hey if they're suspicious shoot them. We're like oh this is a real bad area. I was like we've never had this roe before i'm like that is a crazy statement suspicious yeah yeah i was like that's a crazy statement for us okay well here we go but then it was like anyone with a cell phone you think it's just bad dude. Fucking bad dude, no matter what. Yeah, well, when we did the Jessica Lynch raid. You were on that too? Yeah. Yeah.

Terry was on that too. Yeah. Is that how you met new guy? No, he'd been around for a little while. But, you know, this was 2003. So, yeah, he'd been around for a few years. But, yeah, what they did is they basically changed the roes for on nazaria so all these guys that were running around thinking that they're good to go all of a sudden the snipers

along the river just were smoking military age males like it was you know first day of hunting season because these guys had no idea like oh yeah i'm too far away i can't, you know, ha, ha, ha. And then, you know. I just started napping. Yeah. All right. I know one guy got 30. Really? Oh, yeah. It's like they didn't get on the phone and talk to each other. They're going, oh, man, yeah, keep your head down.

No, smoking them. So that caused, they had a little fight there at the bridge. And so when we went in, we coordinated the assault that the Marines were doing on the bridge with our takedown of the hospital. And we found there was like 300 of the Saddam Fadine jackasses that were using the basement of that hospital as their, that's where they planned everything. They knew it wouldn't get bombed because it was a hospital. So they were in the basement doing all that shit. And they went to go fight the Marines at the bridge. And we came in. No one was home.

And, you know, we landed. We did a little run around. I mean, we had some intel on the place. Yeah, we found her in six minutes. And we're flying. She was flying away in 16. I have a friend that has a Fedayeen helmet.

It's one of the funniest things to me on the planet. Do you know about the Fedayeen helmet? No. If you look at an Iraqi Fedayeen helmet. Wait, is that under the sabers? No, it was his special forces. Those are Iranian helmets. Wait, is that under the sabers? No, it was his special forces. Those are Iranian helmets. So that was his

special forces or whatever. The Iranian Fedayeen helmet looks shockingly like Darth Vader's helmet. And it's because it was modeled after Darth Vader's helmet because they were a huge fan of Star Wars.

I'm dead-ass serious. Like, look up a Fedayeen helmet. It looks like Darth Vader's dome piece, and it's because of Darth Vader. They're just like, that's dope. Yeah, let's do that. Pretty cool. That's what I wish our military was like.

That's dope-ass armor. Let let's roll that that will scare the fuck out of people yeah the funny part is like i identify with the bad guy yeah you know i mean what do you do he nuked a whole planet fuck let's model after his helmet for sure nobody will nobody will have sympathy for me when i die. 100%. How do you get one? Huh? How do you get one? Redacted. Don't worry about it.

I remember the Sabre ones. We got to go there once. I was like, oh, what are all these helmets right here? Then they explained, oh, it's Iranian. I was like, oh, I had no fucking clue on that. There was supposedly a million of them million Iranian helmets They're you know all baked into the monument the two weird sabers. Yeah, they were both Saddam's hand apparently Or I don't know here you go Eli

What holy shit? Helmet yep, what it was mod info. I go the iraqi fedayeen helmet was modeled after darth vader's helmet that is 100 what that is how also i'm sorry i went to use the restroom how did we get on this he was there well that's right that tracks we were just talking about you know iraq and um according to this saddam Hussein was a huge Star Wars fan and wanted his special forces to look like Darth Vader. It's crazy.

Hitler was the same, which is why he wanted all of his officers to look just like the Imperial elite, you know, admirals and such. Well, and so I wasn't on this, but our guys hit either Uday or Kuse's house. And he had a big, big video collection, right? And he had this one shelf that was like favorites.

And one of his favorite movie was Navy Seals, baby, with Charlie Sheen. Really? I got a picture of Rosie holding up going, you know. Navy Seals with Charlie Sheen? Yeah. Jesus Christ. I was hoping you were going to say Hot Shots Part 2. War.

It's fantastic. So we talked about this earlier during CPAC. You know Jake McNasty, the guy that had the mohawk during dj i've seen your so at yeah at the end of his career they raided herman goring's castle and herman goring apparently was really into like equestrian fucking horse racing so whenever they would raid a country like all the top breeding racehorses got brought to his castle so when they raided it the 101st airborne had all these elite level breeding racehorses there and the 101st airborne is like fuck it let's have a rodeo i i don't think i said it in the video because I was fairly new to long-form content.

Oh my god. They ended up running some of the horses to death, unfortunately. They were just dicking around having a rodeo with these elite-level racehorses. The survivors went on to become owned by Glock. Pretty much.

I say that as a joke elite level german racehorses lineage wise that european in general at that point unfair plenty were probably originally french so they stole all these racehorses and they were just basically dicking off in the 101st airborne division having a rodeo for the townsfolk. And then Jake McNasty ends up f***ing the daughter of the guy that led the German youth in that area. So basically just f***ed, you know, the closest thing you could find to a Nazi princess. Yeah. I mean, like the Hitler youth?

Yeah. Oh, shit. It was like the leader's daughter is who Jake McNasty was hooking up with while he was racing or having a rodeo with equestrian elite racehorses. I'm sure there wasn't any alcohol involved. That is the definition of zero. None.

Flag over a conquered castle. Come on. Meanwhile, and then he became laughing. Nigel Farage just passed behind us. Yeah. Who? Nigel Farage.

I don't know what that is, dude. He used to be a prime minister or something. Big fan of the EU. Yeah. Yeah. No, he was the one who led the whole Brexit movement. Yeah, it's just wild to just see the random passerbys here. I'm not going to lie. I forgot for like the past hour we were in the middle of a fucking hallway with thousands of people walking by.

We didn't. I did. Cody, you're a slur. What's up? What? Are we slurring now? Come on, Matt. We need to do some slurs. I'm drunk enough. Go for it. Eli's using the restroom, I believe. Ooh, that means I can slur now. Do you know how hard it is to find a Burger King crown in D.C. on a Thursday at 5 in the afternoon?

I know shit. I don't know if I've ever told this on the podcast. I bought a 10-pack of them on eBay, specifically for our live tour so why you know why i was gonna i was gonna give them five locations why did you need a 10 pack because i was gonna give it to one of everybody in our crew and we were just gonna board the fucking plane at once with burger king cat cats and those flight attendants would be so scared either that or they knew they were about

to go viral so hey by the way why did that plane go upside down uh yeah the one in Canada I'm watching it I've seen it comes in it looks like it's making a good landing and all of a sudden it just kind of flips I mean it looks like it's making a good landing, and all of a sudden it just kind of flips. I mean, it looks like it's going a little fast. Maybe. In my unexpert opinion. Yeah, I'm not a pilot in any means. They said something about landing gear not fully deploying or something,

but it looked like it slapped the runway pretty good, and that's what snapped the wing, I guess. It was deployed. Yeah. I've seen a plane land before a couple fucking million times. I have no idea. It's weird. I wonder what they haven't announced

who the pilots are yet. Who was flying the plane? I believe it's Coulter's Law. This is the hardest podcast I've ever done because I can't hear shit that you guys are saying. I can pick up on Mark a little bit. I got to sound off higher? Done, Oh. I can pick up on Mark a little bit. I gotta sound off higher? Done, Cody. I got you, bro.

Yeah, we can't hear shit down on this side. No, it is like... The audio is really good, though. We have so good audio, which is insane. That's bananas to me. If you turn the camera around, it is close enough. That mic probably sucks. Like, terribly. That mic's

definitely unusable. Yeah. Yeah. We should just cut in on that mic right now. Just so people know what this sounds like. Even directed this way. It's weird. I don't even know. Okay, we're good.

We're good. I was checking my time. What is going on? Dude, and then the people stopping me in the bathroom. People stopping you in the bathroom? Yeah, but they're wanting to talk to you. Oh big camera hey gino brandon his hair is so nice that's all they said wait what who cody what i don't know who that is which one i don't know there's a big camera see that's the crazy part nobody knows who that is nobody they have a very big camera they're

european or something you know shit it's like youtube you can sit in front of a webcam and make millions of dollars though on the positive note people are like looking at this like this but they're like are you you're doing the podcast out front i was like yeah it's like and then the you know brandon i was like yeah. I've met him once or twice. Once or twice. We have crossed paths. I'm like, oh, okay, okay, okay. I was like, yeah, talk to him, though, if you want to.

We're going to finish this up in like... What are we at? What are we at? No idea. I want to say 11.29, 11.30. 15 minutes? Yeah, sure. It's too easy, too easy dude this is

brandon are you are you going to do the politic thingy again what do you mean are you going to do the politic thingy again you almost got it last time we came very close and like i'll i'll say this i'm very proud of my team. They did a fucking amazing job considering, you know, we were outspent 12 million to one

and came within 400 votes of an entrenched incumbent. That was really cool. I was really proud of that. I have no desire to be in DC. I'll tell you that. This is probably

one of my least favorite cities in the world. I really like my job. I like my friends. I like what I'm doing now. So if I decide to do it again in the future, it's not going to be because I need it or want it. It's going to be for, it's great or good kind of shit, but I don't want to

be here, man. I hear you. I'm sure I don't think anybody here really likes DC, to be honest. I haven't been here much. Unsub's still non-cold. Yeah. We don't do politics.

Unsub's like, so, like, Brandon's done politics and everything. But as us, as a whole, as a team, it's just like, eh. We'll have fun. We'll talk about, like, what you're doing. But we're not. We're not. We're not really apolitical. No. We're pretty, like, pro-gun and stuff like that. Things that are just, like, eh, we'll have fun, we'll talk about what you're doing, but we're not We're not really apolitical We're pretty pro-gun and stuff like that

Things that are just inherently political, but we don't just sit there the whole time like, have you seen the news? We don't do that shit We love, like, hey we like shooting guns, we like being able to say retard Freedom thing? Yeah, we like freedom, crazy concept

Country was kind of built on it, I don't know Is that political? Freedom thing? Yeah, we like freedom. Crazy concept. Country was kind of built on it. I don't know. Is that political? A bunch of guys wrote a letter a long time ago that seems like it was pretty important. Yeah, they drank a lot. Yeah, a bunch of 19, 30-year-olds. Yep. We were talking about that last time.

The 55 gentlemen. Yeah, what they drank, though. You know how much I've seen that bill? It was like 55 gentlemen, and they spent like 20 grand modern time or something stupid. No, I think it was like $18,000 modern. Which is still a while. Between 55 friends. Yeah. You see.

That's a good night out man $18 bro you're waking up after you don't know you made America when you wake up here we go I've got it the bar tab of the 1787

farewell party for George Washington the founding fathers drank 54 bottles of Madeira, 60 bottles of Claret, 8 bottles of whiskey, 22 bottles of porter, 8 bottles of hard cider, 12 of beer, 7 bowls of alcoholic punch. There were 55 attendees. Bro, 8 bottles of whiskey? Eight bottles of whiskey with 55 people is already kind of like, alright, everybody's going to have an okay night. It was one of you guys that said, we should have

55 of our friends over and we do that same thing. Try to recreate like The Founding Fathers. The Founding Fathers party. Who does The Founding Fathers? Maybe not that title. founding fathers. The founding fathers party. Gang does the founding fathers? Maybe not that title. Oh, you will.

Gang bang the founding fathers? Switch that one out. The gang drinks a lot. Eli's over here thinking of the constitutional equivalent of Debbie does Dallas. Oh, I would hate that next day. You're coming. Oh, that's going to be fucking awful, frankly.

55 of us and we have to finish it all? Oh, that's the bit. We have to finish it. Oh, we have to do it. 55 of our closest friends and we have to finish it all. Just as the founding fathers intended. Dude, Finn's

camera work is going to get terrible. Finn will defeat an empire. Blair Witch Project. And then I hear there's a boat full of tea coming into the harbor. The camera's doing what the people are

and like the further you get in the video the more that the vignette just like closes in the frame rate goes down to like 8 frames a second dude like just double I'm trying to do the math moments of lucidity you good bro? yeah yeah

a bottle of whiskey is I'm trying to do the math. Moments of lucidity. You good, bro? Yeah, yeah. I'm here. A bottle of whiskey is... We do that with like five of us. It's like Jack. I think it really matters how long the party is. Because there's a difference between consuming that

in three hours versus like ten hours. Well, it was the bottles plus the seven bowls of alcoholic punch. How big is a bowl? They didn't really say. They didn't specify. It's definitely going to be like... We don't want to put you out on the Founding Fathers.

No, no, no. Punchbowl. Punchbowl. Go to Walmart, buy a punchbowl. Mark one motto, punchbowl. We're going to need more. Oh, oh god i wish we had more than 55 people because that's that's a heavy order dude we are like all of us are hurting that is and we have to record the podcast after i would quit do a piece of it every like hour as you go along oh that's actually a really funny idea.

We're just all going to this new... Hour one, hour two, hour three. Hour five through ten is us passed out. We have not learned it. Yeah, it's just us. That's actually really funny. It looks like Johannesburg. We should...

Oh, I've got an idea you guys are going to hate because it's going to lock us in on it. We should do this for the 4th of July. I wish I was younger. Brandon's. Eli, you're not getting any younger. You wish you were younger. We make a list for 55 people. And then we do the drinks.

Your hangover is going to suck. Oh, yeah. So much. Oh, Mark's coming. Yeah, Mark. He's coming. Oh, yeah. I'm there. You're formally invited to. Yeah, Mark. He's coming. Oh, yeah. I'm there.

You're formally invited to our 4th of July party. 55. I'm formally accepting. Oh, beautiful. I'll be there. Nick. Nick. Nick, you're going to love this.

Remember the 55 gentlemen thing where we read off the bar tab of the Founding Fathers? Yeah. We're doing that for the podcast on the 4th of July. I'm game. We're inviting 55 friends, and we have to finish how much they finished. I agree. Including overthrowing a nation. Fine.

We're going to overthrow. I'm ahead of the rest of you guys. We overthrow the UK again just to fucking prove a point. Just in case you guys were feeling uppity. Nick, you like this idea? I mean mean they're not allowed to own butter vials what could they do no i meant the drinking a whole bunch i like i was like naturally no i'm talking about the drinking not the overthrowing europe again it's the british What are they going to do?

You know that meme? It's like that cartoon where the guy forgets he's got a revolver in his carry-on. And then he's like, huh. And then it cuts to hard cut like seven days later. He's like a king on a pile of fucking gold in the UK

with like several slaves. Like, I think I own this island now. This is mine. Dude, I think on that note, Cody, you want to close us out? Guys, thank you for joining the Unsubscribed Podcast. I'm joined today by Eli

Doubletap, our friend Mark. Mark Coach. Mark Coach, fat electrician. Brandon Herrera, myself, Donald Operator Thank you for joining us here at CPAC We love you all Where can we find you, Mr. Mark? Yeah, I'm in Smith & Wesson now

I'm the director of the academy But I gotta build it first So maybe next year Yo, hit us up Oh, hell yeah He's already coming to Iowa Texas Texas It's not where we film Fat Pews Oh, hell yeah. He's already coming to Iowa. I've already solidified this. Texas.

It's not where we film Fat Pews. Ma. He can do both. I might be able to. I don't know. This is going to be like a biblical tale. We cut Mark in half. We share him.

I call his ass a dick. No, don't get him that way, Eli. Thanks for watching. Jesus. Jesus. We'll see you next time. We just feel like hell You don't know what