Unsubscribe Podcast - 3 - Ostrich Mustard

Episode Date: January 25, 2021

Today these idiots talk about making fun of your friends when they are in a downward spiral, Donut killing LVNDMARK, Baddie fan girling over everyone, the 18 versions of Street Fighter II, robucks, dumb RPG loot tables and all the amazing people we want on the Podcast!! Who would you like to see on Unsubscribe? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It won't take long to tell you Neutral's ingredients. Vodka, soda, natural flavors. So, what should we talk about? No sugar added? Neutral. Refreshingly simple. Hi, everyone. EY Double Tap here.

Me and Kings are going to get together and do some commercials. Are you really? You have such a good fucking voice, man. When I turn the radio on, I don't sound dead inside. Yeah, it's pretty fucking... Right now, it's back to dead inside. Yeah, we're back to... That was a hard turn back to I don't want to live yeah it's pretty but now it's back to dead inside yeah we're back to that was a hard turn back to I don't want to live

hi everyone I have no soul anymore that's me I can tell I come here I'm like ah we're getting a podcast or gonna be video I'm gonna do my hair get styled baddies like I'm gonna wear a jersey and then donut is like what the fuck is wrong with how I look I brushed my beard today

I know now I'm going you did not brush that that's the worst there's and then donah is like what the fuck is wrong with how i look i brushed my beard today i know now i'm going you did not brush that that's the worst there's a chunk missing out of the right side baddie no there's not no there is there's a chunk there's a giant chunk out of mine i took a nap now you're self-conscious about your beard hold on what's wrong with my beer no no no no no no you can't say I brushed that and then have that okay okay listen it's fine look at it

we're good look at it it was just tucked in there it's still red we got no shit in there red then we got donut he just rolled out of bed

and walked downstairs for this podcast my feet look good man fuck you wearing the same clothes I've worn in the past two days no gel this is where a good friend would be concerned but instead we're gonna make fun of him as I watch him pour whiskey ranch water right we should

have you given up ranch water have you given up ranch water we're just the worst product placements ever they're never going to sponsor it they don't sponsor it they don't officially sponsor us yet it's been a running joke the whole time it is like this is why they're not going to sponsor us though because we've already we've put in the work

do you feel depressed are you low on life ranch water it won't fix anything lunch rotter 12 ounces of happiness yeah now we've been what everyone's just working all the time streaming playing tart well you guys just play tarkov 24 i mean i just play tarkov do you cody does uh don't know those other things oh my god dude the new computer plays it so smooth it's nice i'm gonna get into it i'm quitting everything else and I'm becoming a Tarkov streamer like Batty. Nice.

Wow, you've given up on life really hard. I can see that. The clothing. But now you're just playing Tarkov. Tarkov breakdown videos. This is where I got fucking smoked upon spawning into the map. Okay, I don't want to poke the bear here, but remember that time

you killed Landmark in Tarkov? Oh my god. Have you guys heard about the time Okay, I don't want to poke the bear here, but remember that time you killed Landmark in Tarkov? Oh, my God. Have you guys heard about the time I killed Landmark in Tarkov? I don't know if you've heard about that. You should do a shooting breakdown of that. I should. Oh, my God. Name the video, The Time I Killed Landmark in Tarkov.

Landmark sucks, LOL. 69,420 just blaze kills. No, I have nothing against Mr. Landmark. I've never met him in person. But it's just, I killed him one time in dorms. He was toggle peeking me and I ran around the corner with a... MP7. No, it was the VSS and I had the SP6 ammo in there.

Oh, that was MP7. And I was just like... And just mowed him down. And then what he does is he takes Tarkov so seriously. He's one of the best Tarkov players in the world, by the way, if you don't know who Landmark is. Because he plays way too serious. I'm kidding.

He plays a lot. And what he does if he dies and he feels like, I don't know, anytime he dies, he takes the clip of him dying, and he rewinds it, and he tries to break it down frame by frame. And he did that when I killed him. It was just funny because I'm garbage at the game, and I just moved him down. Oh, God.

Zex killed Nick Merckx on and warzone man we oh yeah i heard about this yeah it was just like he was a little angry he was he was he was definitely angry you bitch whatever he says that's one thing about call of duty that will forever be the greatest invention for game when you kill somebody you have that like that two seconds or that second of oh what the fuck then it cuts them off because they're complaining about dying and they die they're like in a corner camping and then they're like you run in you like mow them down real quick and like fucking camper and you're like you're the one in the corner the fire going bro i'm breaking down your tent now what are are you talking about? You're trash. I killed you, bitch. Sometimes, you know, we've had it where

we killed. It was the last circle. We killed everyone and we killed the last one. He's like, ha, it's a bunch of lumberjacks running around killing us all. That was it. And I was like, okay, I ain't even mad at that. I was just happy. He's just happy. Yo, you the real Matt Best?

Yeah. That's true. That happened in postcard. ain't even mad at that he's just happy he's just happy yo you the real matt best yeah i yeah he was just that okay i'm cool with dying then you're like god damn it every other time though just bullshit hackers you suck you just you died literally died in the video game there are some suspect stuff i've i've even done suspect stuff where I was like because you're a hacker a hundred percent look like one I like one where I'm just like you're not that good at games Exactly. I'm so bad. I never have to worry about we get calling back I've had ones at gulag. I was like wasn't noticing. I was playing in the gulag. I was like da da da I'm like talking to chat. I'm like, oh shit gulag. I just hit key. I was spamming Q. That's it

I was all this this is That's it. I saw this. This was a clip of this, right? Yeah. I was spamming Q talking to chat. And I always try to throw whatever Q is. And it was a knife. And it was like, hey guys, what's going on? And the knife just goes and kills the dude.

I'm like, I look back. I was like, oh, I just won. Oh, that guy's going to think I'm cheating off of that one. Because replay, it's like I'm just like staring at a wall. He runs and I just throw the knife instantly just headshots like god i was like oh yeah that's a cheat right there i remember me and kings have both been called hackers in tarkov before it's like have you just sit here for 30 seconds and you will see how poor i am at this fucking game like dear god sir i lose most of the time come on you're good at first person shooters yeah yeah like coming in you're always just like great at tarkov like from

like that was one of my favorite things that people used to talk to me about a lot when you first started playing tarkov with like me and kings a lot to like now people are like dude as soon as you figured out the maps learn the maps you were god mode half the time man you're so good at tarkov thank you you're good at shooters yeah i did that uh yeah i did the modern warfare one with you guys and was destroying everyone until uh freddy wong came in yeah yeah i was on i was on the leader like at the top and then freddy wong came in and just started fucking my shit up like what the fuck that was the most random day though that was during the charity stream last year oh when we all played cod together yeah and i ran around we did the rpgs we did that yes we did cod and

made everyone my fucking bitch and freddie freddie indeed that was the most random occurrence yeah they just we ran into them i did yeah you remember i couldn't get in your guys yeah it kicked me to a different one yep and they were in it and i was like hey uh freddy what i was like wait wait wait what the fuck it's like freddy and he's like eli was like wait why is freddy and d playing in a match and like how did we get looped i was like uh we're doing a charity stream do you want to join like sure yeah and they just joined all that was like the most severus yeah most random occurrence of people just yeah locked in dude getting to meet freddie was like i still fangirl thinking about it it's not good were you there when he was watching danny sing oh my god when uh okay i haven't met freddie in person yeah well danny's worse not uh asking alexandria

no i didn't see him meet him when he was danny was singing and danny's just singing over there everyone's like tat and having a good time i look over at batty he's just like this i was literally just like i was sitting there like so forever doesn't know we did uh we had a bunch of us over at eli's house and danny worse not the lead singer singer of Asking Alexandria, one of my favorite bands for the longest fucking time, was there as well and he just started singing on stream with like eight of us in the room and I just like turned

and I got like the big puppy dog eyes and I was like oh my god. Oh that was your birthday right? No no no this was why was I here? We flew down. No it was the BRCC grand opening. Yeah it was the grand opening for me yeah i was there but i i was just fangirling like a motherfucker and i this wasn't even the first time i've met him either that was the first time i've been in the room when he was just singing

and i was like baddie always plays it cool until afterwards so yo what's up oh my god me and you walks away and then baddie turns to me like i just met danny i'm freddie wong i gotta run a game i gotta run a dnd game for freddie wong and that was i was like i was so chill for the entire thing and i remember talking to eli after and he you made so much fun of me because i was like oh my god i still it's still, it fucks with me, man. I've been watching these fucking dudes. Like I've been watching Freddie Wong's videos on the internet forever. Yeah.

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Instacart. Groceries that over-deliver. Now, trust me, still weird to me you were in video game high school weren't you yeah i didn't know that yeah he's one of the shitty snipers right weren't you a shitty sniper i was on the the bad guys team yeah the law the four mains i was one of the mains on the like the front row of the bad guys team and i was the sniper plus a business guy like earlier in this season it was a weird it was a weird transition random dude what the fuck we had a good time though i was super excited tarkov

tarkov is i don't know tarkov's a hard game yes it's like the learning curve is it's a fucking cliff learning cliff yeah learning it's a learning first person shooter, a learning cliff. It's a learning scare. It's like, oh, it's a first-person shooter. I got this. Oh, there's no tutorial. How do I... What do you mean I died? I lost my...

Wait, where do I throw a grenade? What do you mean I have to check my mag? I'm out of ammo. I can't just reload. What do you mean? What's 7.62x39? What's a 5.45? What?

5.154? If you're not familiar with the game Escape from Tarkov, we're talking about if you die in the game, you lose everything you have on you. Gun, armor, bullets, everything. And you have to like match bullet calibers to the guns. It's not like you can just pick up some blue ammo and it magically goes to your blue gun. You got to know that your M4 takes 5-5-6.

You got to know your AK takes 7-6-2 by 3-9. You got to know your M1A takes a 3- or seven six two by five one like you you need to know this because there are some ammo types that are close where if you put the wrong ammo in the wrong gun it will look like you're fine and then suddenly it doesn't work and then you're dead yep you can't shoot you go into the game and you do you have the wrong ammo and then vice versa if you have shitty rounds yeah because there's different types of ammo you have your armor piercing ammo you have your regular bunk ammo you have your uh hollow points for shredding flesh like so if you're shooting hollow points that i do with armor you're just not you're just stinging

him with bees and he doesn't give a fuck and he's gonna kill you you gotta leg shot him if you have like oh man running around with shotguns is still my favorite thing to do in that game and i just blow people's kneecaps out straight up i was doing that all day i was running with grenade launchers and shotguns like a piece of shit dude there's like this new shotgun the game called the the ks 23 which is like basically a four gauge shotgun it's like an old artillery barrel and you just run around with this fucking tank of a gun and you just if you can hit somebody in the legs they like their legs blow out the ragd rag dolls are the greatest thing in the world. They just face plant in the ground and they die.

Their legs are gone. And it is my, it's the, like you run into the biggest, fattest gear dudes and you just pop out. Your legs are gone. Even if you don't kill them, they can't move very well anymore.

They're just like, they panic, try to run for something. Just pop up and like, I'm like, now you're dead. Yeah. In Tarkov, you, you don't have leg armor. So you can spend a million dollars on your helmet and your chest, but there's nothing to protect your legs.

Your gun, your ammo, your meds, everything you need for a raid, but your fucking thick, fat, delicious, juicy legs are there for the taking. They're gone. They're gone. They're gone. And that's one of those hard games. And I don't know about you guys, but like getting those super difficult games. Games are either getting harder or easier as we get older. Games are not getting easier.

Games are not getting easier. We got Tarkov, like we're talking about. First person shooters. Dark Souls. Dark Souls isn't new, though. It's not, but like... Dark Souls 1 is not a new game. I mean, you're right.

There's a newer Dark Souls out there, but that game isn't new. But it's 2010 past, so it's this decade. And that's when you've seen that shift of people. Because I think there was that time period where games held your hand. Like, tutorials would literally just. You had to play tutorials. You had to. And Dark Souls, Demon's Souls, Demon's Souls.

Do you actually guys know the proper name for that first one? No, I don't play those fucking games. They're rude to you. Demon's Souls. Demon's Souls? Is that just like a bad translation? I don't know. I always thought it was Demon's Souls, but then I read the cover for the first time ever,

and it was like Demon's Souls. Is that like a Mandela effect thing? Yeah. The Bernstein Bears? Exactly. Or is it the Bernstein Bears? Which one is it? Those games were like that first time where it was like,

yo, people want hard games, and everyone bought into it. And they were like, yo, okay, this is how we want it. This is like super difficult. You had just that time period from, think ps2 to late ps3 early ps4 i didn't fuck with the ps3 at all i skipped a playstation generation yeah i mean that i was so hard in on xbox at the time like i i won the three xbox 360 so that was I did. But think of a hard game on that system. I mean, at that time I was just living the call of duty and Skyrim life,

like Skyrim oblivion and then call of duty. That was it. I went from 360 to PC. Yeah, exactly. I had an Xbox one, but I was already on the PC when I had the Xbox One, too. I kind of did both at the same time.

I just think recently, that's when you had Demon's Souls, Dark Souls, Cuphead, and then they started introducing these harder games. Fucking platformers, dude. Hurt me, daddy. Hurt me more. Hurt me more. MMOs have gone the opposite direction, though. Because World of Warcraft especially used to be hard as shit and you didn't know what to do and now it holds your hand.

I think it's a different audience though. It's catering to a different audience. They're trying to get the new generation into it because we don't need that help. We've been playing MMOs since their inception. This new generation isn't used to that type of game so they need to

open them up and make them a little easier to jump into for them to kind of get hooked because honestly looking at it this way we're looking at a generation that is growing up with mobile gaming for the most part oh that's true and you need to find that transition from a mobile game to a MMO how do you get somebody who's used to

everything being on their phone or in that case playing a console to getting them hooked on a pc game so they need to bring i'm not saying they're dumbing the game down but they're making it easier to get into this you look at the your end cap of wow still your mmos shit's still fucking hard man it's not easier it's easier to get to end game and learn about end game but end game is not easier i don't think think. And those endgames, well, now you literally just buy your character all the way up to level 100. And you get a free jump.

You get a free jump, yeah. Yeah, and you're like, oh, I've got to grind 10 levels. And that doesn't take long at all anymore. They know people want that endgame. So they're trying to get people hooked before they're like, if they can get them in on that first expansion, they'll just buy the second expansion and they'll grind. They'll grind out to that one. But you need to get that initial audience hooked before.

And the games, MMOs start at the end game. That's why I've always hated it. And that's probably why all of us hate it. Because it's that level 60 grind or whatever it is. You know your character class after first 10 levels. And now you're like, now I just have to grind this out for a shitty story. I don't give a shit about it. Same quest.

Go collect 10 bear asses. Bring them back. Okay, now I need three pieces of corn. The kobolds drop them out there. Kill 20 kobolds. Yeah. But not the gray ones, the white ones. The gray ones don't drop the corn on the cob.

And bring that back then okay here is 20 pieces of gold and a thousand experience and you're like cool 14 more fucking times within an hour otherwise you cap out sorry dude that makes me think of uh on world of warcraft and the barons there's a famous quest for the horde where you have to collect beaks from these ostrich type creatures and you need like five of them but there's only like a five percent drop rate so you kill a hundred of these fucking things that

clearly have beaks but only five percent of them drop their goddamn mouths you always think of the random stuff those characters would drop you'd be like and I killed an ostrich you got mustard stuff those characters would drop you'd be like and i killed an ostrich you got mustard why do i got mustard now why is he carrying mustard like none of the loot table ever made sense in those games

you got candle wax i just why does this ostrich have a dagger exactly that's the thing what did you eat sir okay god bless those old games it's not old games that's new shit too though like that is true you know like weird loot tables have never changed like i remember playing so i tried getting back into elder scrolls online for a little bit because i'm such an elder scrolls fiend and i just like i need more and you kill fucking like tigers and shit and they're just spitting out armor i'm like did you eat somebody sir were you wearing the armor like that was not an armored kitty i just murdered what the fuck that is true those old mmos it's like you killing a dragon it's giving you pieces of armor i think some of the later ones did it a little bit better. You got the crafting materials.

For stuff, yeah, yeah. Or you named armor that was built off his scales and shit like that. And then you're like, okay, this makes sense. I remember Final Fantasy XI, it's like one of the most expensive pairs of boots was Leaping Lizard Boots. And it's just a lizard. Why do you remember Leaping Lizard Boots? Because it's the name. Because you had to kill the Leaping Lizard Boots. How much's the name. Because you had to kill the Leaping Lizard.

How much Final Fantasy XI did you play? Way too much. Like 70 days in game. It was a shitty level five or level six lizard that was out. And you kill it. And it dropped Leaping Lizard Boots. At least it matched the name. But they were a perfectly pair of boots that you got to put on right after killing this creature.

But it's like stuff like that where you're like, maybe just give me the skin and then i'll craft the whole thing okay i think monster hunter did that well though like everything was crafting materials to make cool shit or and the weapons look like it too dude the weapons i wish i enjoyed monster hunter more the weapons and monster hunter were the coolest fucking things in the world when you kill nothing hits like playoff hockey the road to the cup starts world. When you kill... overtime markets download fan duel today and get more playoff action with north america's number one sports book please play responsibly 19 plus and physically located in ontario if you have questions or concerns about your gambling or the gambling of someone close to you please contact connects ontario 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge the dragons and you made a sword from that dragon it was a dragon tooth and your claw or something yeah i was like this

is baller like all the armor look like the creatures you killed and yeah this makes sense versus majority of games oh and it kept you on like your armor look gangster where you go in a lot of mmos and it's like you have patchwork running around it's like yeah i have my flip flops on before like trans mog and shit yeah pantalones that are pink i have awesome armor on yeah i have fingerless gloves and like a real man real men wear fingerless gloves by the way and you have to walk around in that embarrassed and it's i hated that it was like walking around looking like a banana but same time people would make fun of you for your goofy looking ensemble and then you'd shit fuck them yeah hello sir you look like an idiot and you'd snap their neck.

I'm like, now who's the idiot? Dead guy. Jesus, man. I don't know. I love old hard games. I still think old, old games,

NES, you missed that era of fucking difficult games. That's the thing. You didn't know. He didn't know about Nintendo. Jason on Nintendo. Jason. Freddy Kr jason on nintendo ghouls and got super ghouls and ghosts hot guns sorry i was busy looking at laura croft's triangle tits and

fucking tomb raider nerds that t-rex was scary as shit on that first team really was do you i remember i was one of the weirdos i had a sega saturn and that was one of the first games i got on it was Tomb Raider wait wait okay okay I'm gonna this is gonna get me yelled at I already know it was the Saturn or was it the Genesis

that had the little screen memory cards and the fat ass controller Dreamcast Dreamcast it was the Dreamcast there we go nevermind okay

no one had I don't think I knew my buddy had that thing dude the Dreamcast was so ahead of its time it was so sad that that console just flopped

it was so good what's console just flopped it was so good what's crazy is they went went sega canceled or anything because they didn't take off they dropped that this console price to like 50 bucks a console it was literally like dirt cheap you probably find them on ebay for like 30 or 40 the dreamcast was so ahead of the fucking game and it flopped so goddamn hard it was so why do you think it did the i'm sure there was a reason i just don't know it was the first system that had like fantasy star online online capability it did everything and the games phenomenal games for that system it just ps2 crushed everything when it came out when the ps2 launched they were like yo we have a ps2

oh this is this is just going to crush everything. And that's what happened. And then I think Xbox came out at the same time. So it was just trying to compete with those systems. And it wasn't as powerful. Even though it was cheap, just people didn't want it. And they were like, uh.

But that system was phenomenal. Sega Saturn. Yeah, that was, I don't know. I was the only one that had that everyone else had a Nintendo 64 because I think the site the Sega Saturn released around the same time I yeah yeah I was around the same time I didn't have a 64 but the Sega Saturn did have the games where you had the little gun and you could shoot at your TV oh yeah virtual cop it was a virtual cop virtual cop is funny shit

hello ritual cops need for speeds sega saturn had some really good games like going i mean out out the launch but it was like sega sega cd and then the sega saturn came after there was a sega cd that's another obscure one kind of like the the dreamcast that like no one really so i was just looking kind of looking it up like the dreamcast failed partially due to terrible advertising i guess where they were competing against the playstation and they were just like go ahead and buy a playstation but what about the dreamcast this is terrible and there was i guess financial issues at dreamcast cause we're making them like a pain to make or some shit i don't know like there's a whole bunch of like i was there's just

like 10 reasons why they failed so bad but one of the reasons they failed was they had online architecture long before anybody else like people just didn't understand the technology no because it was literally they had a modem built in it's a dreamcast was cool as fuck man too oh they also had no ea sports titles which all the other consoles had they had to use 2k games oh yes that's why because they didn't have the rights to it and they're like no you have to make your own series completely separate sega cd had the dolphin game on it was the first one to have the dolphin echo dolphin echo the dolphin yeah well they had a bunch so you had also if you want a weird system was the atari

jaguar the first 60 oh yeah yeah i remember that i remember that. I remember that. Atari Jaguars. 64-bit. It was to rival the Nintendo 64. It had some of the most trash video games you will ever find, especially the fighting series. They had, like, they tried to rip off Mortal Kombat. They were just like, oh, we're going to rip off Mortal Kombat games, and they just made, like, the lineup of fighting games was like, Ted, the janitor. And it's like, Ted comes from a...

He's a janitor. And he has a broom. And it's like, dude with gun. I remember the box now. Yeah, that guy. What was the handheld? Game Gear. Was it a Game Gear?

It looks like a Nintendo Switch, but it was fatter. The Game Gear was gigantic. It was like a game gear it was it looks like a nintendo switch but it was fatter the game gear was gigantic it was like a handheld thing right that was a you could put sega cartridges in it no the links links it was the links my uh stepdad had a links that i used to fucking steal and i would just hide in my fucking basement playing that shit yeah because i had a bright ass screen it took like 16 double d batteries it was like it was just like hooking up a car battery to it like sweet and then uh the not the no the 3do i think was the the expensive dude no the neo neo geo the neo geo oh neo your geo the neo geo was like the best ports it was an arcade port home console.

So like all the games were like home ports when you got them. You're saying so many things I haven't heard in so long, but like I can kind of picture them in my mind. I was not born yet. Neo Geo, this is like, so they had Samurai Shodown. They had like Street Fighter. And they were like complete perfect. How do you remember this shit so well? Because this is my childhood.

Dude, I don't remember my childhood that well. What fuck hold on hold on they're expensive bro those games they donut coming out those games were 700 at release the video games are 700 a piece oh crap okay so in 1980 money that's like a thousand two thousand three thousand that's a lot of money neo geo console with 21 games on ebay guess how much 20k 30,000 25k price is right i win low sell going over 25k and that's open that's not that's not sealed that's nothing that is open what the fuck dude that's not sealed that's nothing that is just open hey here we are and you're like hi yeah yeah dude i i just fucking played this shit out of game boy stuff like i had an n64 then i had a ps2 and the amount of game boy stuff i like i was a game boy kid that's what i

did because i was always getting kicked out of the house fuck you dad look what i do now ha he used to yell at me all the time being like you're not gonna make anything if you just keep playing these games my mexican dad you still don't understand what i do because he doesn't know me help weirdo yeah my white dad's the same way i send them pay stubs. I'm like, hey. Show off. Look at this. Dude, my dad tells people I do porn.

He's like, what are you doing? People watch you online? I'm like, yeah. He's like, it sounds like porn. I'm like, okay. But I'm wearing clothes. He's like, sounds like porn. Your mom thinks we do porn.

Yeah. Yeah. I've definitely been asked if I'm gay. I'm not nothing against that but but he's i love boobies dude boobies it's why donut has a nice pair on his back there we go oh my god tattooed you oh my god what um ranch water god bless these people will never sponsor no they're never going to who should we who should we bully into being on the podcast to shill ranch water for us oh yeah

we need to find guests yeah we've had people like you need x y and z i'm like but like okay but people that we need to no matter out the gate let's lower expectations okay who do you want that's reasonable who we could actually fuck that anybody you want on this anybody post malone okay you said you said anybody let's get post malone on the podcast dude it'd be like where do our guests sit they sit on your lap yeah absolutely i'd want to sit side by side and 100 make you have matching tattoos that day so people can see how close you guys look we can do all our doppelganger i'll get we'll get seth rogan then and then i'll get uh joseph gordon love it there

we go and we're good we'll just have that imagine we have a podcast one day and all three of them are sitting here we're just staring at each other like, why'd you guys do this? We just wanted our doppelgangers. We don't actually care about you as individuals. Could you shut your fucking up? Okay, Seth, don't laugh.

Stop, please. Okay. Okay. If we're going to really have somebody on the podcast, we're here in Texas. There's content creators all around us. Yeah, that's why we came here. Demo. on the podcast, we're here in Texas. There's content creators all around us. Yeah.

That's why we came here. Demo? Yeah. Well, Carriker. Yeah. Demolition Ranch would absolutely come be on the podcast. Oh, I was going to hand you. Okay.

I think Demo would be a fun one. We can make that happen. Guys, we can make fun of him for being such a filthy casual gamer, too. Yeah. Go on to his last post and bug him until it happens. Yeah. Yeah, just ruin some of his content. Yeah We're bullying. That's our that's what we do. We bully. Oh

His brother's here to drew skis like a biggest gamer ever we could get drew skis on here. He have you seen his mustache? Is he still growing yes, I mean it's a dirt like you a beard. It's never going to get any better, you know? It's there. It's there. It's there. He's not allowed to. Dude, we got Operator Drewski. So we got Demo.

We got Demo Ranch, Operator Drewski. We got Best, of course. We got all the BRCC fucking boys. Best is definitely going to come on because he's like, we already know he's a huge nerd. He's a fucking nerd, dude. Hold your shit. People are surprised. Everyone's like, wait, he plays video games?

Completely blew me away. Yeah, he's six foot two, good looking, an amazing singer, musically talented, driven, and everything. But yeah, he plays video games too. Fuck. You mean every day he doesn't just drink whiskey and shoot miniguns and hang out with hot girls in bikinis? Really? Well, no, he does that every other day. Fucking Matt.

They gotta be good at everything. They gotta be good. And he crushes Warzone, too. The games he takes serious, he is goddamn good at them. That's why I'm like, oh, yeah, homeboy used to play tournaments and stuff growing up,

just nerdy old Matt. I was like, God, we would have been such good friends growing up, all of us there was another dude that just visited that was a big gamer fuck who was it no um you know disaster 18 disaster nope he runs a meme page he's a ranger and oh he was on the free range american podcast yes that other shitty podcast exactly exactly if you've never heard of the shitty podcast free range America, absolute terrible.

Not sure who even is in charge of that one. We could have Evan on here too. He's a huge gamer. He would just shit on us the entire time. You know who's been asking to come out? Leon Lush. Oh yeah, Leon wants to come out. I fucking love that human so goddamn much.

The tomato. Yeah. Tomato Mafia. Dude. Leon. Swagger Souls would probably come out. I'd have trouble not fangirling a little over Swagger Souls. Just like a little.

I'll be fine. He wears a helmet. It's fine. You know Swagger Souls? Oh, buddy. He's the best rapper in the game. I'll see you. Wellen just entered the chat.

Okay. Listen. Do you know Wellen? We might be able to get Wellen out. well it's a friend of mine yeah we just got yeah we just got it there's we got connections this whole podcast hi clean clean clean's only five minutes away and we just didn't mention and he's yeah we're like uh we got freddie definitely a bit on it yeah will will would come on yeah who i'm kidding well john john your your child my son could be like he could never listen to this roblox enterprise he does oh that's a good story i'm not i'm not gonna tell the whole story now

but we are gonna have john on and his okay i don't know what he's doing he can't hear us we're gonna have john on one day my 11 year old because he stole nearly five thousand dollars from me and spent it on roblox robux robux for he spit it's a game roblox but he bought robux which is in-game currency and we're not gonna go too much into it but he's balling on roblox yeah i just i just want him to sit next to me and be like so robux huh yeah we're not gonna shut down because that's what he does he like shuts down when you start talking about robux because he's so ashamed of what he did as he should be yeah oh my god could you imagine the whooping the whooping ifoping. First of all, if your family had that much money.

But if you had spent that much money, or any amount of money that you weren't supposed to spend. I remember getting yelled at on my phone, my old brick Nokia, when I'd accidentally go over my minutes when I was like 17. And just get whooped, just screamed at. I'm like, I sent one text message over the limit that's like 40

bucks thanks verizon like i remember i broke somebody else's skateboard or something happened and my family had to buy a deck for that person and it was like you didn't eat for a week and they were like i was like what did i it was a heck was like, I didn't mean to do it. I'm like, that's $60. Now I look at it, I'm like, man, Ryden spoiled everything. I'm like, God, these kids will get away with murder now because of this. But whatever. I mean, I still hit him with a sack of oranges.

Yeah. Because it doesn't leave bruises. Yeah, it doesn't leave bruises. Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. I stopped. Ryden doesn't understand. But it's fine we figure out new methods for punishment

I don't have children when are you going to have children let's just I'm a ginger we're not supposed to reproduce it's frowned upon it's frowned upon I don't need this continuing

I was a terrible child i never want to deal with me who else did we move here to hang out with i don't even i know we're forgetting somebody and we're yeah yeah it's somewhat cool that we hang out with all the time probably we get crispy on here too of course we get crispy oh my god he's so bad at games too yeah it's the burnt finger i know it's it's the nubs the nubs really do it he was with us two nights ago and we were he joined in the lobby and he's like oh you guys have a full or we weren't even full we're waiting for somebody to join and they were like you want to hop in and he was even like ah nah you guys have two spicy

lobbies for my elo because he's trying to play with us and it's like okay go and he like steps out like so like for whatever if you don't know what that means is a lot of these games have skill-based match uh matchmaking and if you play with a lot of really skilled players when you go into games it matches with other players that are super fucking good so unfortunately if you're the shitty friend in the group you get matched with people that are really good and you just kind of get bent over the whole time so it's like unless you're into getting fucked yeah because it's such a difference and that's why people are like how do you get good at it's like you play with higher elos and then learn to move to keep covered because we're in

diamond lobbies now all our player base is like diamond so it's like everyone's a fucking monster at war zone everyone's just if you're in bad positioning if you're running out if you make a mistake they'll capitalize on you get killed oh yeah we get fucked dude our buddies come in they're like oh this is gonna be fucked right and they're like what happened it's like how you doing today bait because that's what you are right in the open what do you think was gonna happen that was a terrible push and we get to see we started doing um viewer war zone How are you doing today, bait? Because that's what you are. Right in the open. What do you think was going to happen? That was a terrible push. And we started doing viewer war zone lobbies because you can do customs now. Oh, man.

That's rough. Well, we just get a change. So the rule is you hit random and that's your team. So you don't get to choose your teams. But we did a wager. We were doing random. We join in. You play with the individuals.

And you get to see the play style of everyone else because we play aggressive yeah aggressive most games aggressive is the way to go and they're like i'm landing and i'm already like okay we're ready and they're like uh does anyone need a knife or grenade i found both on the ground like why the fuck are we having this discussion we need to be going we gotta move to move. Wait. Right now. I'm yelling at people. I'm like, come on. What are you doing?

Is he AFK? We need to kick him if he's AFK. He's looking at a wall right now. We've been here for 10 seconds. Get the fuck out of here. I'm like, I'm so aggressive on this game. And we were having fun. Everyone's winning or whatever. Everyone's like winning or whatever. Everyone's losing, actually.

But then we did a wager. It's like, okay, it's Callie, Zex, Matt, and me versus every other team. Winner gets $500. Who's Callie? One of our other buddies we play with. Callie's like, Callie, I don't know. He's just, his character, he's like, hey, man. Oh, so he's from California.

Yo, yeah. Okay. I was like, Cali, you high as fuck. Dog, I don't smoke weed, yo. I never. And he gets in his vehicle, and it's a weed camo. And the paint job turns to the weed camo. I was like, uh-huh.

You don't smoke, you say. Because 420. He's like, nah, it's just a joke but he's a monster monster at the game like homeboy wreck god damn it and we were like us for everyone else winner gets 500 winning team gets 500 100 a piece or whatever 150 a piece plus it will uh matt was going to donate a thousand dollars to any charity of their choice for whoever won. The charity of my life. So every dude instantly, it was like we all in.

You just see every team's like, kill them first. We murdered everyone. It was like the Hunger Games started real quick and you were being hunted. Yeah, we murdered everyone. We won. And then the next round, we're like, okay, we'll change the rules. We'll do this. All you versus us. Murdered. And then after that, we're like, okay'll change the rules we'll do this all you versus us murdered and then after that we're like okay we can't do this anymore this

is not fair you're just never you're bullied you know what that you know what that was pub stop matches back in the day it was it was when you were a ranked good player and you'd go in and just fucking murder the fuck do you remember christmas noobs oh yeah right everyone everyone got their xboxes and playstations brand new right after it's like the two weeks three weeks after christmas harvest straight up it was the great january was the best month to be like a good gamer whether it was call of duty or destiny or whatever the fucking new game it was or old game oh my god you never felt better at a game than like a month after christmas there was just a video about that with the new star wars game because it came out free

yep the whatever the battle one is or what the battle one battlefront i think that's the new one right no what's the um where there is jedi that's like a special unlock battlefront 2 yes maybe that one that one became free a week ago or two weeks on steam or whatever platform so everybody got it so then the new harvest exactly came early this year that was one of the clips it's like i love new players and it's like somebody running at a jedi and the dude's playing a normal character and he just waits for the jedi by a corner and the dude lunges and he just steps. And dude, you just see him fly off a cliff. Yeah, off a cliff.

He just eats himself off a cliff. He looks down and he just runs away. It's truck month at GMC. Tackle the open road with added confidence in a 2025 Sierra 1500 Pro Graphite at 0% financing for up to 72 months. With an available 5.3 liter V8 engine, 20 inch high gloss black painted aluminum wheels, off-road suspension with available 2 inch factory installed lift kit, plus a towing capacity of up to 13,200 pounds,

you'll be ready for anything this truck month. Truck month is on now. Ask your GMC dealer for details. Oh yeah. That's so rude. That would have been me right there. Fuck. Is there any other good games you guys are looking forward to playing soon? Dude, Hitman

3 just came out like two days ago. That was one of those games that I grew up playing a ton of. Hitman 1 and 2. Which one was Blood Money? Hitman Blood Money. Was that 2? Oh my god, that game was wild man.

Shout out to sheriff eli for that clip man he's dressed up as a undertaker yeah and he goes in the bushes like he's it's like they're looking for an undertaker but they'll never know

i'm already to county away and he turned into a clown donald sunset i love sheriff eli guys I'm already a county away. And he turned into a clown. And Ronald McDonald ran off into the sunset. I love Sheriff Eli. Guys, please go follow Sheriff Eli and watch his live streams. He is the funniest person on Twitch by far. Comedy gold. You sent that.

Wait, Sheriff Eli's in Texas. Oh, my God. He's in Dallas. Yeah. Is he? Yeah, he's in Dallas, I think. Sheriff Eli, please come be on our podcast has anyone seen his face yeah he goes he goes to cons dressed up like a cop and shit it's fucking awesome that is amazing yeah okay he wears like the fucking wide bra like oh

yeah i 100 would love him that dude is comedy gold yeah he's amazing i've only done a couple things with i've played a few i forget i think it was with you or with uh tarkov yes i don't play tarkov yes i wasn't there for i didn't get to play them which is really a bummer because he's another one that's really cool oh matt was there that was matt best on that stream too yeah we had matt was clean part it was like a sweaty five man thing because clean plays with them all the time we're on labs we did labs with him a couple times yep that was it yeah that was fun sheriff eli's a great guy he got his start from uh grand theft auto role-playing servers didn't he he was because

he's a cop i don't know if he got a start from it but he he blew up because he would rp a cop on on the server amazing people would like try to stream snipe him and shit to just to get the interaction and shit it was was wild, man. GTRP, fuck. Shit's crazy. I might have to play Hitman. I don't know. I'm playing Dragon Quest IX right now, which I'm actually- How many Dragon Quests are there?

Apparently nine, but I think that's like Street Fighter where they say there's five. I mean, Dragon Quest VII. I remember Dragon Quest VII came out in like fucking 2005 so there's there's got to be more in there we're at street fighter 5 just remember that there's technically only five street fighters minus there's actually 40 or 50 of them if you look at like no shit yeah because you go like street fighter 2 street fighter 2 turbo street fighter 2 hyper turbo street fighter 2 japanese turbo, Street Fighter 2 Japanese Turbo Edition, Street Fighter 2

Street Fighter Edition. Capcom. Look up how many Street Fighter 2s there are. You're going to be like, oh, Eli's telling me. How many? Street Fighter 2. So was that your shit growing up was fighter games? Oh, bro, I can murder in some fighting games.

I've seen you play Mortal Kombat. You destroyed my 11-year 11 year old he came to me he came to me that night after you beat him so bad he's like dad street fighter two suicide no you destroyed his ass that's funny i love seeing him being humbled yeah i was like do what do you want me i'll beat you with uppercuts alone, John. And I didn't. I was just like waiting for John. Eli said, too close. Too close.

Too close. I will humble people in fighting games. This is my jam. John's over there looking like he's going to cry. And I'm like, you remember that one time you called me out for having a dead girlfriend? This is what that felt like. Exactly. Smile. So real quick, Street Fighter 2 games street fighter 2 the world warrior street fighter 2 champion edition street fighter 2

turbo hyper fighting street fighter super street fighter 2 the new challengers super street fighter 2 turbo so we're on the second turbo uh hyper street fighter 2 the anniversary edition super street fighter 2 turbo hd remix and ultra street fighter 2 the final challenge why is who so good that's what they do to all of them they're like we're gonna make one what the fuck and then we're gonna change it slightly and charge 50 every time and you're all gonna pay for it. It sounds like titles from like the Rick and Morty alternate universe TV shows Two brothers and an armada of aliens and grandmas They just keep adding words like it said here's 50 bucks And that's what I love it's like do you remember when games used to be like what 30 bucks?

Dude, yeah, dude. Gameboy Advance games used to only be like 20 do you remember when uh electronic boutique like eb games they sold used computer like pc games but they didn't realize you could like clone them and take them back yeah and so i would go in there i'd be like oh half-life oh this this this game i'd go clone them in my dvd drive and bring them back and be like i don't like this game like okay dude eb game i forgot all about eb game what are they uh no you don't have it just babbage's was before eb eb games because it babbage's turned into eb games yeah and then they sold i think they sold out the game i would assume that was the game stop that took over everything and then game stop died no they're

still alive i went and bought pokemon cards at one two days ago they were bankrupt didn't they they filed for i feel like they just closed a metric fuck ton of stores due to covid yeah you would take in uh i don't know four hundred dollars worth of games they'd be like all right you can get a fifty dollar game off of this credit yeah it's like here's forty five dollars cash or it was a pawn shop sixty dollars in pokemon cards are gambling for children yeah i just gave you an rtx 3090 and you gave me 30 dollars in in-game currency what am i gonna do with this buy some sweet jets on roblox like my son fucking it man that was just such a yeah i loved going to those. That and rental stores.

That's a whole different episode. I think we'll save that. Going to rental stores was such a... That's too old for my blood, bro. You didn't go to... Okay, you gotta remember, I grew up in Vermont. Rental stores? Video game rentals?

Oh, yeah, absolutely. Oh, oh, oh. Blockbuster. Okay, okay, sorry, sorry. You can even rent Nintendo 64s and stuff from Blockbuster. I know. I forgot about that shit. Jeez.

Dude, that was... Like, that set up a weekend. It was like Friday after school. Yep. That was my treat every Friday. It was called Nils, because I grew up in rural... I mean, mine was a Showtime video. Yeah, it was called Nils, and my dad would pick me up from school, and he would rent

me one Nintendo game every Friday. And, you know, Nintendo games were hit or miss back then, so sometimes you would get one and it was just fucking terrible for the weekend. It was all cover art back in the day. Dude, the boxes, oh man. And then it's a garbage fucking game. And that's what the worst

part was, is like a lot of the garbage, it would look so gangster on the cover, you're like this game is going to be the greatest game of all time. And then you play it. You're like, this game is going to be the greatest game of all time. And then you play it and you're like, I fucked up, Dad. The Simpsons games on Nintendo had the best cover art. And I watched The Simpsons with my dad twice a week. But those games on the Nintendo were fucking garbage.

And I was stuck with them for 48 hours. I just started. After a while, I got taught my lesson and started just renting super mario world 3 every single weekend i want a year you're like i just want to know these old games like some of the the box art batty look up mega man one box art because i swear the artists they were just like they just hired a team or an artist and they're like yeah and you're like okay what's the game. Yeah. And you're like, okay, what's the game?

The artist didn't ask questions. They were just like, it just said make a man one. And the dude just got to interpret the title and draw it how he wanted lasers and man in space suit. Yeah. Like I'll hold up a picture on this. I mean,

we'll, we'll throw it up on the screen, but it's like, it's a dude in a gold and blue outfit with a nine millimeter pistol which mega man has no guns with like space miami in the background there's peaches in the ground and palm trees in the background like and that was all the art back in the day it was just like nothing to do with the game it's like does, does Mega Man use a pistol? Sure. Now he does.

I mean, Mega Man 2 wasn't any better. I mean, at least he's blue. He still has a gun, though. I just love he always has a gun. I mean, I think you can attribute all that to just the cash grab for how big video games were becoming in that era. It's like Super Mario World 2, how it makes no fucking sense whatsoever. That was never meant to be a mario no nintendo was or someone was making a game and mario 1 was so successful they were like well we found this other thing doki doki they were like let's put our mario characters into it just say it's mario world 2 and that's why super mario world 2 is so fucking weird and makes no sense

i had no idea so mario 2 was Doki Doki, Doki Doki, Excaper Doki Doki action. I forget, it was Doki Doki something. And what had happened is they created Mario 2 for Japan. And it's literally Mario 1, harder version of Mario 1,

did really good in Japan. They did a test in the United States with it. And then that's when the American dude, I forget his name, that was part of Nintendo America he was like yo this is fucking hard no one's gonna like this like this is just

America this is Mario 1 just really hard in different levels so the Japanese were like well uh oh let's reskin Doki Doki and it's a separate game completely and they're like just reskin this and put Mario characters and call it Mario 2. And they launched it and it did really good.

And they're like, oh, see, we fixed it. We made Mario 2. Doki Doki, escape, expansion, whatever it's called. And that's literally what happened with that entire thing. I had no idea. I'm glad to know that we're all still fucking stupid. Great. Dinosaurs with big hole mouths spitting out eggs everywhere.

It was so weird. It had nothing to do with anything. Flying tarpets. Bowser was not a boss. Really? Yeah. I don't know. That's the only one Bowser's not a boss.

Period. He's just not in the game. It's a toad thing. And then 3 was just a work of art three i could go back and play with super mario world three anytime any day three set the tone watching speedruns that's freaking ridiculous oh yeah guys if you've never watched a super mario world three speedrun go watch it right now because it's only like eight minutes long but it's eight minutes long jesus man the first flute

off the second level and then they skip to the last thing and they just the skull hand grab and then they're good and they're like okay we're done and we're golden that's wild i mean i think that that's it that's that's all i think that's we're gonna that's all she wrote today that's a good one that's a fun one you're a good one you That was a fun one. You're a good one. You're not a fun one, though. Say bye to everyone. Batty, where can we find you? It's Batty Streams, right? Fuck off.

I hate everything about all of you except for... At gmail.com. Yeah, Batty Streams at Gmail. That's not it. Batty Streams at Instagram. Batty Streams dot Angelfire dot... Angel Fire. Oh, man.

Geo Cities dot... Do you remember Hotmail? Hotmail. I still have yeah hi I'm baddie goodbye streams on Gmail I not Gmail we gotta say it now I'm Eli underscore devil tap god damn it bye

everyone dog nut here I love you and done