Unsubscribe Podcast - 36 - Kotaku Sucks

Episode Date: January 15, 2022

Unsubscribe Ep . 36 - Kotaku Sucks ft. Donut Operator NEW CAMERAS!!!!!!!!! WHY DOES IT SAY FEATURING DONUT OPERATOR?!?!?! Because we are appeasing the Algorithm gods. We love you Gods dont hate us. We will be doing a Donut and Baddie title as well. NO WE DIDNT FIRE DONUT!!!! WHAT DO WE TALK ABOUT THIS WEEK? HENRY CAVILL OF COURSE. God he is Beautiful. I want him on the podcast so bad. Honestly what if instead of a description for this video we just talk about Henry Cavill? He is just so perfect. and tall. and that JAW LINE?! god and his mustache. Basically he is everything Eli can never be. whew. It's hot in here. ------------------------------ WHERE TO LISTEN Spotify https://spoti.fi/2Ye8YOU Apple Podcasts https://apple.co/3cbqY4k Amazon https://amzn.to/2YbzQia Google Play https://bit.ly/2YcWmaD Stitcher https://bit.ly/3cbnY8o ------------------------------ Follow the Cast of Unsubscribe -Baddie- @Baddie Streams https://www.twitch.tv/baddie https://twitter.com/BaddieStreams https://www.instagram.com/baddiestreams/ https://www.youtube.com/baddiestreams -DonutOperator- @Donut Operator https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwkm_Wcyh0pc7UUmZZfL-6w https://www.instagram.com/donutoperator/ https://www.twitch.tv/DonutOperator https://twitter.com/DonutOperator -Eli_Doubletap- @Eli Doubletap https://www.instagram.com/eli_doubletap/ https://www.twitch.tv/Eli_Doubletap https://twitter.com/Eli_Doubletap https://www.youtube.com/c/EliDoubletap ------------------------------ Edited by Fluck https://www.twitch.tv/fluck Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It won't take long to tell you Neutral's ingredients. Vodka, soda, natural flavors. So, what should we talk about? No sugar added? Neutral. Refreshingly simple. This is our first time using them. I just want to be able to like...

I know. Red dot. It's blinking. Red dot. It's blinking. Red dot. It's blink... Oh my...

Look how good we look, guys. That's pretty dope. Oh my god. We have real cameras, boys. I have a boner right now. Right? We have real cameras because we actually started making money on the podcast. We can afford things.

We finally turned on ad revenue. We'll do Black Cherry. Yeah, that took a minute. Ooh, watermelon, Black Cherry. I'm going to go Black Cherry today. Decisions. minute watermelon black chair i'm gonna go black chair today but i got a lot of decisions oh baby and the clap because we didn't clap for like three episodes yeah we didn't we didn't clap at all one we did he just cut it out his magic i don't know. There was one where we clapped like 30 minutes

into the episode for the first time and then we just didn't clap the last time because people in the comments were like, guys, I was waiting for the clap. Where's the fucking clap at? I was there an hour and five minutes waiting to finish that one. Cut out the clap so people watched the whole episode.

Put it at the end though. We look good good we look so i'd fuck me say hi to eli it's racially ambiguous baddie that guy's fucking ridiculous that's harder to rhyme but he's a really nice guy. Welcome to Unsubscribe. Hi, everyone. Unsubscribe podcast here. We're with Batty, Donut, and Eli Double Tap. Remember to like, subscribe, and comment below because we always forget to do this, so we're adding like a five-second segment.

Yeah, wherever you're listening, whether it's on Amazon, Google, Apple, Podbean, Castro, or that other place, make sure you do a rating of not four stars, three stars, lower than the highest number. All of them. All the stars. Like Mario.

I didn't know we were on Amazon. We are. That's cool. Are we? Yeah. Video? No, the podcast. Hi, everyone.

Unsubscribe podcast here. We have Batty Streams, Mr. Beeline Bubble Bap, and I am Dullnut Operator. And we have cameras now. We spent some of our money from that revenue that we finally turned on after nine months, 10 months. A lot of months. A lot of months.

But look at this. Hopefully our sound is working. We probably look fucking amazing. Batty's house is worth more now by double because these three cameras. Batty's property value went up. Yeah, probably. The IRS gave more of his dragons back. Dude, we're looking.

Now they can really see your face of disappointment. I hate it here. I forgot how much I hate you two. We haven't recorded in like a month. Like a month and a half or a month or something. Yeah, it's been like a month and a half. Beginning of December. Yeah, when Arab was here.

But we were saying we're happy we stocked up on filming there for a while. We had like four lined up. Yeah. So you guys only missed, what, a week? Yeah, one week. It's probably two. No, because this will be up wednesday what is today sunday i don't know what day it is sure maybe it'll be up wednesday maybe it'll be up high on wednesday i go to start this i was like guys we can record sunday so i think a late time is 2 p.m is a good start time first

response baddie's like i'm gonna be streaming for like 30 hours can we do 4 p.m. is a good start time. First response, Batty's like, I'm going to be streaming for like 30 hours. Can we do 4 p.m.? I got to sleep. I was like, what the? And then Donut's like, I get a text from Donut at 5 a.m. He's like, I found a Mexican Asian. He cooks donuts.

He makes donuts. Yeah, I streamed like super late last night. I don't know. I couldn't fall asleep. And so I raided a... I was like, let's look for a small streamer to raid. And I found a guy who is a Mexican-Asian who does powerlifting and MMA. But the only difference is his family owns a donut shop.

And he streams it on Twitch. And it was really freaking cool. But he's like Eli, but he makes donuts. Yeah, isn't your family only a restaurant or something? Oh, yeah. Jumperito. It's called Jum, but he makes donuts. Yeah, isn't your family only a restaurant or something? Oh, yeah. Jumbo Rito. It's called Jumbo Rito? You would. Gasp.

Jumbo Rito. We do Asian cuisine. We? We, Eli? By we, I mean not Eli. Let me give a shout out to this guy real quick since I'm talking about him. His name's Hung Gek. H-U-N-G-E-K. And he's up at like 4 a.m every morning making donuts on his at his family's place on twitch well he has a very i have a very mexican name he has the exact opposite yeah it's very asian

yeah he looks more asian yeah it sounds like it yeah I will say with era, it starts hard, dude. It goes out. No, before anything, he immediately opens up with calling Twitch soft and laughing and making fun of Twitch. Motherfucker got banned on Twitch like a day before we released the episode. It was fucking hilarious. Get fucked, Harrah, bro. He's like, I don't know how I got banned.

Whoops. That episode went hard. I forgot. I was like, oh. The ending. I don't even remember that. We drank a lot. Yeah, we did a lot. There was only a little gone from that. we drank a lot we drank this and yeah we did a lot there was only a little

gone from that hmm god that was a good that i mean well hi everyone we upgraded everyone's back we're all together finally we have shot show coming up we've missed each other we did i haven't seen baddie in like fucking a decade it's like a decade right i'm not done i'm not done letting i'm holding on to eli's hand right now. I'm just not going to let go. So we did Christmas. We can talk about that in a minute, but we... We did do Christmas. I got...

That's why we didn't have one week before class. Two weeks ago. Two weeks ago. Bleep that out just in case, Fluck, because... No, don't call it COVID. Call it... Call it gingivitis. We got gingivitis.

I had gingivitis we got ginger but i had gingivitis i got the gingivitis where you're stuck in bed for a couple days the coffee i got the coughing gingivitis fucking terrible i got the coughing gingivitis uh our dentists made us restrict for 10 days yeah we couldn't go anywhere. The CDC was very big on the gingivitis. Thankfully, now we all took some... We threw the kitchen sink at him. At our gingivitis.

So Donut got the gingivitis and then he was healthy. And then the next day, what happened, Eli? I was filming and got the gingivitis by being in close proximity of Donut's breath. From all the making out. Yeah. From the kissing. Yeah. Yeah. Fair.

Fair. An apple a day did not keep the gingivitis away. And somehow Heather got the gingivitis. Weird on that one. Well, Kurt wasn't feeling very well there for a minute too. He might've gotten the gingivitis, but we all beat.

I'm immune. Yeah. We all beat the oral disease. And here we are. The oral disease. Oh no. There, we covered it. Yay.

This episode will still get flack. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. It took like a week for other one to get approved because we talked about it so much. I know. I mean, we didn't even talk about that. It was just the very end. It was at the end of the episode we talked about it.

It was like 30 seconds. You got to bleep it. Like you can't even use that fucking the episode we talked about it. It was like 30 seconds. You gotta bleep it. You can't even use that fucking word because it'll flag it. Oh yeah, Fluck also bleep out me saying I'm a bitch. Yeah, it's bullshit, but... You can't say that either?

I don't know with that whole Joe Rogan thing happening right now. We just... We'll just bleep those words out and it will look whatever. I don't care. It's tooth decay. It's a serious problem. Brush your teeth. We're going to SHOT Show soon. I'm excited.

When is SHOT Show? January 18th or 17th or the 21st. It's like a week and a half. Okay. We gotta plan things. We know that Grantham's gonna be there and we're gonna do a podcast with him because we're taking our setup to SHOT Show. On the road!

So if it was scuffed now, wait till you see it then! If you think we had problems then! We're gonna have my friend Fouya on. Fouya's the best. I'm super excited to have Fouya on the podcast. She's fucking hilarious. Perfect. She's got crackhead energy so. So she's you with a vagina. She's got crackhead energy. So bad.

So she's you with a vagina, but smaller. Okay. Kind of a furry. So we'll cover that later. It's fine. Yeah. That's what can she,

wait, nothing. Can she bring her for sauna on the podcast? Is that what they're called? For sonas? Yeah. Yeah. Why do you guys have way more?

Not I'm the weird one. I thought I know you are. You are the weird one. And then you guys are like her? I'm the weird one, I thought. You are. You are. You are the weird one. And then you guys are like, her fursonia? And I'm like, her fursonia? What? No, I have tons of furry followers. Really?

Because I made fun of them on Twitter. Yeah, you trashed on furries for a little bit. Yeah, I trashed them for a while. And then they all started watching my content. They're like, hey, I like this guy's videos. So now I have tons of furry followers. Dude, that's a... What?

Yeah. There was one big game. Who's the... fox firefox oh mr fox who's the um he he's a professional fighter uh he does video games he's a fighter he does fighting games he wears the um the furry hat he's an actual furry i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't really follow any furries i don't i don't know. I don't really follow any furries. I don't. I don't know if I do. Fursona? Chat.

In the comments below, what's your fursona? Yeah, that's what I was thinking. If you had to have a fursona, what would your furry name be? What animal? Batty's a tabby cat. I hate that I just imagined you like that. I can fucking, I hate that I just imagined you like that, just being fucking disgusting. I just picture you needing your cat ears on me right now.

I just picture Batty on his leather couch. Meow. Meow. I don't have a leather couch. You would be on someone's leather couch tearing it up. Do you have a leather couch? No, I don't have a leather couch tearing it up do you have a leather couch no i don't have a leather couch meow like batty get the fuck up stop eating my taco bell i'm gonna get another cat i'm gonna name it batty just get a big fat ginger mirror mirror cat sorry what's

batty yeah donut eyes picture is a i like a wolf Oh fuck. Yeah, I can pick you as a way. Oh, yeah King Sean turd mountain no matter what you're still furry Your smartest guy with Down syndrome. Oh no. Now another group of people don't like us. They didn't like us already. It's okay. No, man.

They couldn't get past the age restriction button. Who's going to be on the podcast next week, mr tim mr tim tim blenny tim blenny tim blenny's gonna come to my poor person house tim's huge into the furry scene yeah so super excited bird bird do you imagine if tim kennedy was a furry like who would who would have enough who would talk shit to that man? Imagine walking up to Tim Kennedy and being like, fucking furry.

Just clocked. Getting beat by a furry. That's his walkout UFC outfit. He puts his tail in. Meow. He walks out on all fours. It's a 30 minute walkout. Is Tim a cat too? Yeah.

God, I hope he doesn't watch our podcast. Oh, God, yeah. He's going to be like, or he shows up in a furry outfit. Yeah. Tim brought the fucking heat. Tim, please show up in a furry outfit. Tim brought the heat, and I like it. Oh, Tim.

That's going to be a really freaking good podcast. I'm looking forward to that. I've only met him one time briefly at the Tim Montana show, that one that we went to. And he seems like a really nice guy. Dude, Tim has so – he has crackhead energy too. And he's super positive. He's just a nice dude. It's always that weird do they do it for like an act on camera where you're like high energy.

Like for cameras, I have way more energy than I will ever have off a fucking camera. Batty's just high energy. Yeah, I have ADHD or energy than I will ever have off a fucking camera. Batty's just high energy. Yeah, I have ADHD or something. Donut's the same. You're like, you have that energy, and then the second you get, it's like you're drained really quickly. Yeah, especially people don't understand how hard streaming is, like how draining it is, especially, too.

We were talking about that in chat last night. People were like, it could be hard to be a streamer. It's like, nah, man, it actually is fucking draining very very draining you get off and you're like oh shit man it's like i just ran a marathon you have an extrovert that gets energy from it baddie can do that stuff where you then you have introverts that is the most soul draining experience so if you had a day where you're like shooting directing filming and then you have to go immediately stream. You're like, fuck, I just want to lay on my couch and watch Animal. I don't want to die.

My Animal. Who is Tim Kennedy, by the way? Tim Kennedy. There's maybe some people. The most dangerous man on the planet. That's what they call him. I heard he couldn't even shoot a.22, though. Can't shoot a.22?

It's going to be the first podcast we get our asses kicked. Live, watch us next week where Tim Kennedy beats my ass. Hey, guys, don't subscribe here. We're all swollen eyes. I'm just not going to be in the chair. Tim's going to be in my chair. He replaces that. I'm just down on the ground.

Now, Tim, UFC fighter, Army Special Forces sniper, TV show hunting Hitler. Yeah. Hasn't he had a couple TV shows? Yeah. He's like Dog the Bounty Hunter, but for Hitler. Yeah. I think. I don't remember.

It's something like that. And then he hunts Hitler. What the fuck? He hunts Hitler. It's his history show. I'm so confused. I haven't remember. It's something like that. And then... He hunts Hitler. What the fuck? He hunts Hitler. It's his history show. I'm so confused. I haven't seen his shows. Yeah, he has some TV shows.

Dude just brings that Tim energy. So we got him on. That's going to be fucking dope. And then we have... And then... What? Whoever else. Heather.

Heather will be gone. Yeah, Heather will be gone soon. First female guest. Yeah, female guests. Shit female guest. Female guests. Girls. I'm going to get nervous. Gross. Why do fintechs like Float

choose Visa? As a more trusted, more secure payments network, Visa provides scale expertise and innovative payment solutions. Learn more at visa.ca slash fintech. Should we wear dresses for that episode to make her feel better? We probably should. I just really

make her feel at home. Yeah, get down to her level. Has Heather ever worn a dress? She wears a skirt like once a month. Hey guys, it's unsubscribe. Today we're talking about periods. So Heather, has your cycle started now? I'm just feeling our cycles

are synced. Let me check. No blood. That's what girls do, right? That's exactly what they do. Me as a female. Let me check. Digging around in the van. It smells like pennies. gotta tell you something later you gotta tell him something what do you just say that on the book

i can't i can't tell you a story later i do can't say this one on the podcast the old red wing story okay roger oh man well this is great oh man we're filming today yeah it's starting out strong we got what you guys are on the fucking the tarkov oh man yep we just full swing right now i stream so much tarkov this last nine days, 10 days, eight days. I don't know how many days I've lost.

I don't know what day of the week it is. I didn't know you were doing like, what's your longest stream you've done the past week. I did a 27 hour fucking brutal. I mean, it wasn't as bad the last time. So for everyone who doesn't know what's going on, escape from Tarkov is the game I usually play on stream and once or twice a

year, they'll do a big event called twitch drops where if you just watch a tarkov streamer you get free in-game items and it really boosts everybody's numbers so all the tarkov community the tarkov streamers will all do super long streams because you each get like a day so from like the 27th through like the 9th it just tarkov drops and everybody gets drops the first day everybody gets drops the second day and by everybody i mean the streamers if you watch those special streams you get those special items so everybody's the first day last day and then each streamer gets like a special individual day where you you're on like the mine was the 28th or the 29th or no mine was the 30th sorry and that day, your numbers are just insanely high.

Like normally I average 500 viewers. I was averaging 8,000. Yeah. So yeah, yeah, yeah. And then a lot of the other guys, like Pastilli was hitting 200,000. I've seen this. Like it's fucking nuts.

So I did a 26-hour stream on the first day I did. Then I took a quick break and went live again on the 30th and i did another 20 like eight hours stream and then i was doing like 12 13 hour streams all the way i think the shortest stream i did this week was like nine hours eight hours damn dude and i did another i did like 16 the other night i took a quick i took a nap yesterday because i wasn't feeling well because of the leg tattoo fuck that that shit. And then I did another 12 hours yesterday until I got off at like 5 a.m. I hear

logging in is super fun. The queues are really quick. Oh yeah, that's the first time I've seen queues on Tarkov. They just implement so for what's going on with Tarkov is because of how big it's gotten over the drops this event, there's so many people it was just breaking their back end. They just couldn't handle it plus they were actually getting hit by a ddos attack

during a lot of it so what they did is they implemented a queue system to log into the game so for any big game on you know wow release day new world you know you have to sit in a queue for a little bit worst worst case the queue was like an hour and a half two hours for some people i never sat in it for more than an hour. Yeah. I think on average I was like 10 minutes, 15 minutes. Oh, that ain't too bad. So I like peak times. You're right.

At 7 o'clock on a Friday afternoon, it kind of sucked. You're right. Sure. I didn't think it was that bad. And it was either the queue system, you wait in the queue, or the game just would break randomly while people were playing it. That's what I was hearing. There was rollbacks. You'd do two or three different raids and you'd be

getting all this gear. Then all of a sudden you'd get kicked. You'd log back in. Those raids never happened. It was like rolling rollbacks and shit. It got pretty bad in the beginning because of how the servers were. They had a data center go down for that host, one of their servers,

one of the days as well. It got pretty bad. They just had some bad luck that whole time. The data center go down for that host, one of their servers, one of the days as well. It got pretty bad. Yeah. They just had some bad luck that whole time. Yeah. The data center thing is not their fault. It's not like the data center is like, oh, we have to go down for emergency maintenance. And they're like, could you have done this a week before? What?

What? So Targava has been absolutely insane. But they did a really cool update where they added Santa Claus to the game. Oh, no. I didn't see any of that. Was Santa ananta an asshole or they had santa in war zone too oh yeah yeah so i want to know so tarkov santa was a regular scav except he had a white beard a red hat and a joe you remember the purple backpacks the giant oh yeah they made one red like a giant red backpack santa would run around the map to like the popular spots and he was always

non uh non-aggressive he would just stand there and if you ran up to him he would throw an item on the ground in front of you and if you threw an item down on the ground he would pick it up and he would drop you a better item and i didn't know that oh that's fucking dope so i did the reasonable thing and i killed him every single time i saw him did you take a shit dude you so if you kill him his bag didn't have good stuff except if he picked up other people's stuff oh also uh one of the bad things is if you killed him you got really negative rep so in the end it's like scav rep yeah you were just ruining your scav rep the final tally at the end of the the thing was uh batty 16 santa 3 sending so if you shoot him, Santa had a lot of health.

If you didn't kill him quick, that motherfucker turned on your ass. I shot him accidentally last night. I ran into him on reserve. You panicked for a minute. I panicked, and I hit him in the head twice with an SVD, and he didn't die. That's when I would have panicked more. I shot a man in the head twice, and he's running at me now. I'm like, no!

Nonny! As he charges at you. Yeah. I'm like, no! No need! He charges at you? Yeah, not great. See, that's crazy. We had Krampus for Warzone. Yeah, it was Krampus. Krampus was a fucking cockhead who also had so much fucking health. So Warzone, it's 150 players, and your team's a four.

Krampus just randomly picks what team he's going to go after. And until you kill him, he does not stop chasing you. We won battles because we would be like, it's last circle. We're in a good position. And we see a team of four. And you just see Krampus running. He's like, just punching the team. And they're shooting at him.

And we're like, we're just m punching the team and they're shooting at him and we're like i we're just mowing the team down because they're trying to kill krampus because he'll fucking what did he look like he looks like cramp like a demon like he has he has horns and shit yeah so he's throwing snowballs that make you move slow and then he hits you and he can two shot you and he will litter especially when like the first two weeks they it would take like like 40 rounds from a shotgun point blank to drop him because oh my god if you do a damage he'll disappear then reappear somewhere else and you just hear his laugh the entire time and he does not stop chasing you for it's i think five minute countdowns so if you're in a team fight and then he's just beating your ass,

teleporting, you're like, you fucking piece of shit, just engaging him, engaging the bad guys. It was fucking chaos. That's cool. I've got to look that up. It was fun. It sucked when you see Krampus is attacking your team. You're like, damn it. Because you'd just be standing by the Christmas trees,

and then you'd accidentally hit him instead of the guys you were trying to kill and you'd be like so that's that's exactly what happened to a lot of people in tarkov santa would just be running around you'd turn you'd turn a corner in a dark room scab and you'd shoot him once in the leg and all of a sudden it's like it's like shit he's got like an auto and he just mag dump your ass into the ground. Ugh, so bad. Yeah. But you've been playing, don't know, you've been playing Tarkov with John a lot, right? Yeah, John's like into Tarkov

now. Yeah, yeah, John, my 12-year-old, he's like super into Tarkov right now. He loves playing it. I like you said, John, my 12-year-old like you have another John that's like five. That's true. There might be people who don't know who John is. Just throwing that out there. John, my five-year-old.. John, my five-year-old, not John, my 12-year-old.

Not my other John. I have several Johns. You made a backup just in case. Just in case. You gotta recycle this one. He's been loving Tarkov though lately, man. Even though that computer I got for him off Amazon crashes every two matches.

That's kind of lame. Cool, Amazon, thanks. Tell them to bring it, and I'll fix it. Yeah, I can probably fix it. I swear, those fast Amazon computers, that's the third one I've heard doing that, because we've ordered two, and same shit.

Really? Janky, I don't know if it's the OS or the software they put on it, but they're fucking trash. Are they slow? They're supposed to be fast? I wouldn't have done it. Zydex was building him one, but he wasn't going to get it before Christmas, so I was like, well, I want him to have his Christmas present, so I just ordered him one

off Amazon. It was expensive, dude, because of the price of video cards and stuff right now. And it's just a piece of fucking garbage. I'm really mad about that one. That's such a fucking shame, man. When it does work, he's been loving Tarkov, man. He says it's his favorite game now. He's addicted to that and zomboyed right now.

Good news, Tarkov, no microtransactions. That's true. He can't steal my money now. Yet. Yet. Until Nikita gets greedy. Nikita finds out. John's the pivoting point for microtransactions.

Children like our game now. Donut's kid likes our game now. Add microtransactions. Now, it's the time to shine. No, Tarkov looks fucking good now. It's better. It runs good. It runs smooth.

I mean, compared to like three years ago. Yes, absolutely. It's night and day honestly the game has been performing better than it ever has uh frames per second overall new maps are the new map lighthouse is fucking awesome it's brutal and very difficult yeah oh yeah yeah they had minefields too we're one of the best whoever edited that on your thing i was cracking up that was fluck so flucker editor did a quick video of me i spawned into tarkov and i took like i didn't know where i was it's a newer map and it was when the newer map came out i didn't know where i was

i was lost on the new map i spawned panicked because i didn't know where i was ran like 20 feet in one direction hit a landmine, panic, turned around, immediately hit a second landmine and died. Oh yeah, Fluck, throw that up here. Let's show everyone. It's good. Yeah, that little edit had me cracking up. Yeah, that was funny as hell.

Okay, where am I? Chat, chat, this way. I don't know where I am. Oh bro, I I'm fucking lost chat. Where the fuck am I? Am I going the wrong way? Is it that way? It's that way What the fuck is the goddamn lighthouse? Hey go that way. Okay this way. It's gotta be this way Another one.

Did I just spawn in a minefield? and uh yesterday i had another landmine adventure which flux is editing um where i'm playing with genitals and she we're like getting ready to creep up on these new there's a new type of ai called rogues and they are monsters bro yeah holy shit they're worse than raiders oh god so much harder and they'll aggro at like 200 to 300 meters yeah they're on 50 cal turrets and uh grenade launchers like mark 19 they're the russian equivalents but and on the ground yeah but their own rooftops they have a compound and their own rooftops and yeah they have the you into the compound and shit and they'll just fucking destroy you they'll oh dude they're lasers from across the map so me and jen are hiding behind a rock getting ready to like peak one to try to shoot him and she's like hey hey baddie isn't their minds right there i'm like nah they're

farther out as i step on the mine you just see me walk back in like, my limbs are all ate up and chill. Yeah. I shot one of them on the roof. I was playing with my, with a foul. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

And he was like, don't shoot the guy on the roof. I'm like, no, I got a cool sniper rifle. We were doing a scav run. I was like, no, I'm going to shoot him in the face. He's like, I'm telling you, donut, don't do it. And I shot him and instantly five Raiders or five rogues ran out of the warehouse that he was on top of and just fucking smoked me if you're anywhere near the mid compound and you shoot there's a so there's rogues on the rooftops and there's a roamers they're called rovers because

they just roam this compound they're usually in one area to start and there are two groups of roamers and if you aggro these motherfuckers they will hunt you down yeah i haven't seen any of this i got trapped in a room uh in one of the buildings because we thought the compound was cleared out we thought another team cleared it out because we were like just walking in we're like oh we're good there's nobody here fuck yeah getting our tasks done because there's a bunch of new quests you have to do in this compound so you have to but of course so i'm like in this room grab my oven all of a sudden i hear ah as my buddy gets a knife it was druski druski gets fucking annihilated and i'm in this little room like i got a sniper rifle in inside a small building so i can't even like aim and i like

peak was like they annihilate the entire door and window i'm at i'm just murder the rogues are rough yeah they're rough but But it's fun. It's rewarding. They drop really good stuff. Yeah, they're all like kid... Because they're called Rogue U6. So they're using M4s. They're using AKs with like the best ammo. Oh, so they're literally

just like, as you're saying, the raiders just... They're like raiders plus a level. God. See, that's what Tarkov does so fucking good i need to play it more i just yeah you like remember when you used to play games with us that was cool ever feel like your wordpress site is moving in slow motion switch to kinsta's managed hosting for wordpress and watch it fly host your site on google cloud's fastest servers with worldwide data centers so your pages load instantly.

Need help? WordPress experts respond in under two minutes and will migrate to your site for free. Try it yourself. First month free at Kinsta.com. That's K-I-N-S-T-A dot com. Kinsta. Simply better hosting. Before Warzone.

God damn you, Warzone. You took our friend. And now i'm back in high racing oh yeah you just got your whole uh racing setup yeah talk about that let's see let's see let's hear it mr fucking i got a race car in my house now yeah i do and i'm fucking i told you earlier i'm point five seconds off the world record on the track now which track track? I don't know. Explain iRacing, first of all. 0.05 seconds. I don't care about your 0.05 seconds. Yeah, I'm quick in bed, too. I get it.

0.05 seconds! Speed running the sets, baby! I did it! Yank first, you're last! Boom! And Laurie's like, aw. Go get the towel see you in an hour babe i'll try again i racing eli sim it's a sim racer so it's a sim racing it's a realistic racing and you have to

have like the steering wheel wheels pedals all that shit so think of fours but way more realistic yeah like where i forgot dude the races are fucking brutal i forgot about that because i've only done one race being back because nothing my shit from a decade ago 11 years ago all of it stayed the same so my i rating which is your level in the game stayed the same so i came back i was like cool i'll get a start new figure out everything wait this game is a decade old? Yeah, it's 12 years. I keep a 12.

What? Yeah, 12 years. I've never even heard of it. Yeah, it's old, Tim. Shit. So I was like, oh, fuck. I'll just start new. I'll figure it out, blah, blah, blah.

And then I see an I rating is there. And I joined the first practice sessions. I'm like, what's everyone's I rating? It's like 1,000, 1,800, 1,500, 1,100, 2,000. I was like, sweet. I was like, OK, so that's still here. That will be your divisions where you put, I'm at 4,000 eye rating. And then my buddy that was-

Oh, so you're immediately dropped in the hard mode. Yeah, I was in division one. Everyone thinks- You just woke up from a fucking eight-year coma like no no you gotta still go you're still in the hard mode yeah that's literally my buddies that were watching they're like yo you're gonna have some spicy like you are in the sweatiest of lobbies and i was like so i do uh the miata series on that i was doing doing the Mustang, Miata, and the Porsche Cup. But the Miata series was like, I got to get Road Atlanta short.

I got to get this back down. I was like, 108s. And then the guys that are watching. I don't know what the words you're saying mean right now. A minute, eight second for a lap. So per lap is a minute eight. And I was like, sweet. I was like, where is that?

And then the guys, my viewers were like, oh, I do 107s. I was like, sweet. I was like, where is that? And then the guys that were my viewers were like, oh, I do 107s. I was like, fuck. So then the next day I'm at 107s and then I'm at 106s. And then I look at the times and they're like, oh, they said the top qual, they're like your top 1% is gonna be 105.9 is gonna be the top 1%.

And then the top, top record is going to be one oh one one minute four seconds point nine for world record lap time on this track i was like sweet i'm at one minute five seconds point zero six right now point zero six yeah so everyone is like my stream was like you literally cut off four seconds and are now just averaging that as your every lap. I was like, yeah, I told you I was decent at this game at one time. And they're like, no, you're like fucking stupid. This is your artistic ability.

Yes, it's very. This is my artistic ability. Riding's proud. But I got it down. I was like, I rated one dude and his eye rating was 5000. I was like, holy shit, this dude's a fucking monster. And he's like, oh, what's up? I was like, oh, here you go.

And he's like, oh, you haven't played in a decade. How is it being back? I was like, bro, I don't even know what the fuck I'm doing. And he's like, what laps were you running? I was like, this and this. He was like, oh, let me see. He's running it. And he's like, what lap time did you get?

I was like, 104 flat or 105 flat. I was like, right about 105 flat i was like right about to get a 104 running running he's like bro you're like fucking he was getting a 105 four and he's like i am considered really fucking fast in this and he's like what the fuck did you used to play in this i was like back in the day this is my jam i still got it still fucking god it's just good to be back because it is like a fucking. Once it clicks, I was like, yeah, this new steering wheel and everything. It does feel good to get into a game, like an older game, and just be like, I'm good at this.

Dude, right? That's what it was like when I used to, like, I went back to, so I was in a tech program for community innovation web design back when I was in high school And I used to go back and do little things to talk about how you can do different things on Twitch or become a content creator to these kids and I would do like little speeches and talks to the kids about about shit They can do in Vermont cuz it's a small state not a lot of tech and we used to always play Super Smash Brothers Like the old-school and 64 one that was like our after class or during lunch We'd sit in the fucking hangout and play smash and I wasn't great at smash, but then melee came out Oh, you didn't wait dash and everything

Gamecube dudes now melee was my shit, and it just was like you'd go back and you'd be like Play play fucking gamecube this time. We're not playing in six for no no no put that weird controller away Give me the gamecube one. And it just felt good. You'd sit back down and you'd play a game like that and you'd be just good at it. Any of you know what wavedashing is? No? Okay. I'll show you real quick. Wavedashing was actually super technical.

That's why I was surprised. So wavedashing was an accident. Melee was crazy because it was an accidental pro fighting game. Yeah, yeah. Melee went pro and then people were just discovering the craziest shit with that game what is what is it there was so many things that the programmers didn't mean to do and they implemented in the game like wave wave dashing and all these little things that would give you like a couple frames faster for attacks and you had to be like individual frames

faster so and it's very technical on you have to like how you hit it movement everything landing how you're attacking and it added it made a game that was supposed to be family friendly with not because nintendo a lot for a long time said this is not a competitive game and then it became one of the top competitive games ever because all these might change shit yeah it did and it's like that's why i still think my favorite um series is goddamn the smash bros yeah yeah have you watched it oh those no i thought you know bro did you watch the smash have we talked about this i don't think so the smash bros i don't know what that is oh fuck oh my god guys, you're going to go on YouTube and watch it because you can watch it.

We're going to forget. We do this every episode. We drink too much and forget. I'm going to send you – it's the best YouTube series you will fucking watch, especially as a Melee player, bro. Yeah. Okay. Okay, okay, okay. Check it out.

It is the competitive fighting scene for all of uh smash bros so melee starting in nintendo 64 era and then going into um melee into brawl and they started this doc series it released in 2012 or 13 they started filming it in 1999 or no 2001 nintendo 64 so they were filming it on cameras and you get to see camcorders and you see it upgrade through until it became on evo then it followed um uh who are the big um uh melee players in smash bros they still i don't remember they're the big ones still but you got to watch that entire progression it was like east coast versus west coast and it was when it was off the grid and you'd have these kids playing and they'd land party style yes and you see them go to local tournaments and they're recording it and then they're like yo this is this is the best kiss in the west coast this is the best kid on the east

coast and then they finally had the main tournament and met it's fucking it's four hours i was good at melee but i was like good in my friend group. You know what I mean? I wasn't good at Melee. I was just better than the people around me. Oh, you guys are going to watch this. And this is the only time I've watched it three times, four hours. I will sit down and watch the entirety of it. It starts off so hard because they're like, this is, he was like a guy like you as a kid.

That was, uh, he's recording. He was like, Hey, you're going to play a fat ginger. You're going to play our Korean. Big ginger cat. Korean. What's a DJ? Korean DJ. He's one of the top players.

And they were like, hey, you're going to play him. So he's like, oh, and Korean DJ just held back. And the friend's like beating him. He's like, oh, you just got to practice more. And he's like, OK, now Korean DJ is actually going to try. He's like, okay. And then Korean DJ lost all his lives. And then he went go.

And he five-stalked the dude without getting touched. And he was like, what the fuck just happened? Because Korean DJ then started waved at everything, not taking single down. It was like, boom, back up. Dude, juggling and you're like slam dunk right off the right off the edge bang straight down it's like oh god yeah do it oh oh i'm gonna send you guys oh it's so good i'm gonna buy a gamecube i'm gonna buy a fucking gamecube man i miss that shit game with the little mini discs gamecube is really cool as fucking

they weren't even circles right wasn't it like they were circle yeah they were they were just small ones oh like this yeah they were sizes of your score sticker what was the system where they weren't circle it was a disc but they weren't circle they were like the top it was like the top and the bottom were cut off on the circle the top and the bottom was they had the psps had the weird oh yeah yeah psps had uh it was that weird plastic they had the PSPs had the weird... Oh, yeah. PSPs had... That weird plastic. They had the disc inside the plastic thing. They had the weird... It was a PSP?

I don't know. I think it was some GameCube games were... Yeah, some GameCube games were like that. They were weird. I think. Maybe I'm tripping. I don't know. Dude, GameCube was fucking...

GameCubes were cool as shit, though. Those didn't do very well, did they? Wasn't that like the Dreamcast of the Nintendo world world it didn't do well i think off launch and then eventually it like picked up yeah that's that's the only thing i'm missing missing from my uh my collection of like vintage game systems as a gamecube you need a neo geo oh i don't have that either shit neo geo was a handheld right no there is a handheld there's the neo geo links yes the links my uh when i stepped out way back in the day had a link j's the neo geo links yes the links my uh one of my stepdad way back in the day had a link jesus it had a links and i used to play that fucking it was a colored

but it was colored it was color it was massive it was it was awful the games were fucking shit but it was so much fun to play like 12d battery yes it was i think it was like a tesla battery double a's it was like eight or nine it was eight or ten. I think it was eight. It was like a Tesla battery. I think it was eight AA's. It was like eight or nine. It was eight or 10 AA batteries. It was insane. Yeah. That's back in the day. And those batteries did not last. No, you burned a couple hours, dude.

You're cooked. Because that was a colored screen. Because you got to think only the Game Gear and the Lynx were the only two colored systems handhelds at that time. This was pre the Game Boy, the original green Game Boy, right? It was pre that. Right after. It came right after. Oh, it was right right after it came right oh is it right after yeah okay okay and game gear was a sega one yeah okay sega game gear with sonic and a couple others god damn and then the links was that one which was it was a fucking it was beautiful it was ahead of its time for that but god that was fucking it was

a it was big big ass boy right there it was like a Switch, but like five times the width of it. Yeah, literally. Neo Geo Lynx, Neo Geo, the system system. So that was a true arcade at home. But only the rich kids had that motherfucker. That's why I didn't know anyone who had that. The games were $200 to $700 per game. What?

No shit. Now they are. Like, if you look up some of the games, they were like fucking like $20,000 to $50,000. Yeah. Well, I'm not getting that. Never mind. Do you remember the Nintendo system that looked like a pair of binoculars and it was red? All the graphics were red you look

through it and you play the game nintendo hold because i'm gonna get it wait it is i don't even know what you're talking about no it is the it's so weird it's almost like a vr thing yeah it was the first vr it but but all the graphics were red yeah so they did a red because i don't know why the fuck they chose red because it gave you... It was called the migraine system. It literally just... It was horrible. I can't remember what it's called, though. The Nintendo motherfucking...

I don't look it up. I don't look it up. But give me the first letter so I won't... Because it only had like 30 games or 20 games. It would give you a headache. It wasn't 3D, but you'd have to have your head like right here and it was the games were garbage okay you're ready you're ready for the first letter v virtual virtual virtual boy yep yep look at this fucking thing dude like fuck and it wasn't a head

thing it had a little tri legs so it had little you couldn't even strap it your head you had to just like sit there at a table. The Nintendo Virtual Boy. Put your head to it. Just throw up a picture of this thing. Yo, but the controllers, what they started doing the... Yeah, it's like early... GameCube. GameCube.

It's like a weird GameCube NES mix. Bro, that... Look at an in-game screenshot of it, though. If you want a headache... I see it right here, yeah. Yeah, it was... If you want the headache... Oh, God.

It's all red why is it they didn't have color so it was a big flop that thing flopped yeah I never even heard of the damn thing and there was no you had to sit like so think you'd have to have a table perfectly on that height to put your head up

yeah that's it oh it's so awful look throw some of these screenshots it's all just red and black in. It's all just red and black. Endgame is all just red and black. This looks pain. It would give people the fucking worst headaches ever. No, thank you. You come out and your eyes are like burning.

What a horrible idea, too. Like that whole thing. You can't even strap it on your head. Like you said, you have to get to the perfect level and then lean into it. And then get a migraine. I mean, I get migraines already i'm good i'll pass you're like no thank you yeah the fucking virtual boy that was i mean you can find those it was just a weird time where like developers were trying to come up with the newest coolest idea but they were kind of overreaching nintendo had some good ones

and then some trash donkey third parties would develop but Nintendo still made trash donkeys let's be real Nintendo still they're the Wii U really we're gonna say the Wii U was a success they I still liked it oh shut the fuck the Wii U was the dumbest shit it was a dumb ass name because they didn't even do anything with the name or anything. They were like, we're just gonna, we have the Wii. Let's add a add a U and they were like, oh, they literally admitted they fucked up. They should have named it because

it was a different console. It was a completely different fucking thing. Oh, really? Yeah. I didn't know that. I thought it was just an expansion onto the Wii. That's why I never even looked into buying one. It just was like, oh, so it's the PS5 Pro? It's the next version was like oh so it's uh it's the ps5 pro it's the the next vert no oh no it's a completely different fucking thing yeah that's why they fucked up but then that nintendo switch this whole that was a fucking i love my switch yep

that thing's a fuck we were talking about this the other day imagine if rimworld was on switch oh god i wish rimworld was on switch that would be so cool i would waste so much time in just so many places like i like all right i already the only game i ever play on my laptop is rimworld because i just want to chill and like in bed and just grind my face into nothing for just playing fucking rimworld and sometimes i just get sick of having a laptop on my fucking lap while i'm sitting in bed but a switch switch. Yeah, that would be super cool. Have you played rim world yet? No, I don't know,

man. Someone asked me the other day, they're like, what's the, what's the most, what's the biggest war crime you've done in rim world? And I was like, well,

my last colony was on a frozen tundra and my biggest exports were cocaine and cowboy hats made out of human flesh. It's like, yeah, you can commit some atrocities in a game, brother, different type of game. No, it's fun as shit, though, man.

RimWorld early is not anything crazy, but when you learn RimWorld, oh my god! Is that a death? It's a dwarf fortress. Yeah, it's a dwarf fortress, but in space. And you can't dig down.

It's a space dwarf fortress. Yeah, it's like dwarf fortress where you can't control the dwarves, and you can't dig down. It's space fortress. Yeah, it's like door fortress where you can't control the doors, but you can build buildings and kind of put things up that they're going to do. It's the same thing. Maybe, maybe going to do. Yeah, maybe going to do. Maybe they eat each other. Yeah, maybe they kill each other. I had a big

kill each other. I had like one where a couple guys went psycho or whatever. They went crazy. They just straight up just murdered. Everyone just got murdered and then the last guy bled out and died, and that was the end of my game. I was like, oh. Does it just say game over? No, the game keeps going.

That's the thing. You have no people left. You just have to quit. Yeah. You just can't do anything. What the fuck? Okay, I'm going to have to give this a try. Great World, it's a very easy game to get into,

but a very, very difficult game to master. I have more hours in that than any game other than world you have like 5 000 hours in it don't you i have a ton yeah i got a ton of hours in the real world i don't know i got addicted to it man it's my go-to like my like you said my chill game and it's it's fucking fine man okay you got to give it a try a little little try that's the one we should do for our episode because we can... The download's probably like five megs. Oh yeah, it's tiny. We should have us three. Start a colony with us

three on there. The base starting is three people. And you can do prepare... How do we breed together? Yeah. Oh, like dudes can get married and fall in love with each other. Can we make babies? Yeah, butt babies. Yes.

But no, you can use a mod called prepare carefully and you can start with as many people as you want and whatever characteristics, their appearance. Normally it's only like three, four or five, right? Or two, three, four? Yeah, you can put a hundred people in if you want to prepare carefully. So we do us. You can find other people normally, right? Yeah.

Yeah. That's how you have to find like other wrecked colonists or whatever and you can bring them into your community. So that's what we do. We should do Murder Boat where each of us controls our colony every, like for a day or something. We start with us three.

I feel so bad when I just get us all killed and ruined. I know Eli's going to get us all killed. He's like, I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know what they're doing. They're starving, where's food? I think that's a good way that's a great intro to gaming but like i mean we don't even need to swap at all i would be happy just watching donut yeah fucking play and then trying to learn to play rimworld again

based off of watching eli do it oh my god so what we'll do is this we have three it will start with three of us we can repopulate with that many or do we need one female out of that no they wonder in yeah the people you'll find random otherwise i was gonna say we just rock paper scissor and loser has to be i mean you're gonna be the girl no it'd be like girl female baddie you're so bad it's like no no i'm a girl jesus Oh, Jesus. Choo-choo. Eli and Donut are coming back. Oh, God. We're time to repopulate. We could add Heather with us in the game and see what happens.

Oh, no. Oh, no. Damn it, Batty, why? Oh, yeah. No, RimWorld would be a good start to our little game series. You want to tell people who would review that? Depending if we do that today, because it would be a good start to our little game series you want to tell people depending if we do that today because it'll be a 30 minute segment i don't know how long the download would take uh we're gonna start a gaming uh 30 minute episodes once a week so you guys will have the podcast on wednesday or thursday depending on when our shit schedule is to how

drunk or sober we are that day yeah and then on monday or monday we're gonna say monday monday then uh this monday not the one after this one definitely not maybe we'll see uh we'll upload that so we'll have a gaming uh story that are 30 minutes still treat it like the podcast but it gives more content for everyone to consume laugh have a good start off start off the week fucking awesome so we're terrible depending on how terrible i've seen all our episodes i don't know how it helps you guys we're not great i like started that one at probably i was like jesus we go hard is this the normal cadence for our podcast was a kiss it is the last couple of men spicy just out the gate yeah they were a little spicy especially the air of wind yeah it was great i love one of my favorite comments was i thought you guys were

doing uh being racist and calling this guy just a name and And that's why he's like, then I realized it was his name. We had just a random guy on it. We're like, we have a rap. Look at his skin. Today we have two white guys in Mexican. Congrats. I'm starting to realize why it took so long

for that one to get out and monetize. The week now makes sense. Alright, thanks YouTube. The YouTube rep was like, oh, I'm just sweating. If I monetize this. We've actually, I just realized that like some of our older ones

got switched to yellow. Did they? Really? How many? I didn't see an email. I found two that had been switched to yellow. The tattoo one.

I don't remember which ones it is, but I went through and I requested reviews on those. So, hey, maybe those will turn green again someday. Yeah, the tattoo one did. I figured maybe because we're shirtless. Nipples. No, that wouldn't be yellow, though. Boy nipples.

Yeah, you know what's still monetized on YouTube? The dildo versus real dick video. Have you seen that? Yeah. Yeah. Wait, dildo versus real dick. Wait, do you know? Yeah. Yeah. Wait, dildo versus real dick. Wait, do you know what? Oh, is it a chick?

No, no, it's a dude. It's a dude with a, he's like bent over and there's like a curtain on his back and there's a dude behind him over the curtain and it's dildo versus real dick. And it's still monetized on YouTube. Well, I was just... You know who confuses me?

When I came up with that concept... Matt was really excited about it. I was like, man, let's play a game. Name that whiskey bottle. Oh, no. Oh, that's a handle. Why is it crowned? No, not the crown. It's definitely a $60 bottle of Tito's.

Not the $20. It's very girthy. Oh, man. I mean, it's about time in this podcast that I mention cum thank you people were mad at me too because of that got that out of the way

we talked about cum fairly early in there Eric brought it up he got to it first thank you slam dunk that cum cum nice throw it in Matty's eyes Thank you. Slam dunk that cum. Burn it! Cum! Nice.

Throw it in Batty's eyes. Glasses, I'm good. Oh, man, our merch should be coming out sometime soon. I'm hoping this is about January. I was thinking of the T-Rex with the cum towel and just like whipping it up in there. The Demo, I just like talking to Demo's employees about all this. Here's our list of merch. Come

subscribe. It's like come subscribe to the podcast, but jizz. But spelled T-U-M. Get it? Jizz subscribe. You guys aren't even being original now. You said come to everything.

Here's semen, subscribe. Juice, subscribe. Got cum. It's like got milk with cookies, but it's jizz. You guys get it? You heard of bathwater? Well, we sell cum. Oh, no. Just batty jerks.

Can you imagine? Can you imagine? No, no, no, no. Instead of gamer girl bathwater, it's just like gamer boy. How many babies you'd have running around out there? It's yours. Bitch. I've never receipt for $30.

Damn it. That's going to cost me way more than $30. 18 years. Let me see it. God damn it. It's ginger. Five, four. No. years let me see it god damn it it's five four no no for for matt carriker's employees making you know his shirts and kentucky ballistics and all those guys and then we go in there that one day and we're like all right t-rex being

impregnated with a cum towel there you go i like. Can you put the little pink there? The more pink blush on the T-Rex? It's really, really enjoying the cum. I need some... That towel needs to be more of a red to contrast the white cum. Hey, Fluk, can we get a cum counter for this conversation? How many times have we said cum? Cum. Cum.

Cum. Needs to be more cummy. wasn't coming enough we brought it back i really missed you guys you know this month away was i know it was bro i don't like being isolated for that long i was just like bro i got fucking i had when when laurie had like i yeah or sorry gingivitis yeah gingivitis when laurie had when laurie had the coffee there but she had the ginger i never got it i was fine the whole time and i was just like like losing my mind like i didn't know what to do like i because i i was like i feel like i need to isolate too because i'm in a home with somebody with so i with gingivitis with gingivitis.

With gingivitis. I was just like, I'm just going to stream 18 hours a day for the next three weeks. Here we go. That's why, yeah. It's fucking like, I remember it was a year and a half ago now. How long ago was the...

January 2020. It was a shot show. It's been two years you're talking about when we all got it no when we all had to i when was the fucking the isolation it started like early it was like 20 22 of 2020 early quarter two or late quarter one of 2020 i forgot about that and then you start back 22 man yeah it's been two years. That's insanity. Yeah. Fucking insanity. It's crazy, man. Two years of gingivitis. Two years of gingivitis.

Remember how scared everyone was? And that's why you floss, okay, everyone? That's why you floss. Fucking floss and mouthwash. People are going to be like, these guys' mouths are so dirty. Everyone gets gingivitis around them? Gross. Yeah. It'sitis around them? Gross.

Yeah. It's from all those big mouths. Oh, okay. Oh, we're going to get Nico Ortiz on soon. Yeah. He just said to just let him know what day. He just wants to come out. Literally, that's the same.

I was texting him. He was like, whenever. Meat Canyon was texting me last night night and i would like to have him on yes i would a hundred he's been asked he's he's been asking me he's like hey dude when you want to hang out because he stepped away from his main channel do you see that video yeah on his on me canyon got on the second channel was like i'm stepping away for a little bit like i'm burned out i'm just burned out i'm just gonna do a lot of second channel stuff drawing balls attached to his own face it's so it's so fun, it was beautiful. I've seen that.

But I was talking to him last night. He's like, when can we hang out? When can I come down? Fuck yeah. That would be awesome to have him on there. Yeah, whenever he wants. Yeah. I just told Nico, I said, hey, Nico, fly to Texas next week.

Yeah. I'll talk to Papa Meat tonight. Yeah. Try and get him down. Just start backlogging these episodes. Yeah, honestly. We should probably film occasionally. Yeah.

I mean, we did that. that yeah we were so good we did like four episodes in in less than three weeks yeah we had christmas did you guys get anything cool i bought myself some stuff yeah that's what yeah that's what i think all of us did yeah like i told my family i was like i don't want anything that's it like i'm at a point where it's like don't don't worry about it just fucking if people like laura was like what do i do for you for christmas like make me a cool meal like that's don't worry about it yeah honestly we're at a point where it's like i'm gonna buy my own dumb shit because i'm an idiot we can literally buy what we want now we are hard to shop for it that's what everyone says they're like you can have whatever you want at this point eli i want you and that's what you

get then i made a delicious christmas dinner for mr maddie and noel who did it i was like i woke up early it was like christmas day i was like bam 8 a.m let's fucking go i made my my my beef stew which is oh i saw that you made it about you you were talking about your beef stew, which is... Oh, I saw that. You made some stories about you making your beef stew. You were talking about your beef stew. And I made chicken tiki masala, so I made both homemade. That's one of my favorite meals ever. Can we have Jet on the podcast?

Oh, shit. Jet Tila. I was just talking to him yesterday. We should have Jet on the podcast. Yeah, he's our homie. Yeah, that'd be fucking dope. He would definitely do it, too. And he'd probably cook for us, too. That would be awesome. Okay. Hold on.

Let me put that on my list. Yeah, add that to the list. Yeah, just add that. Yeah, fucking Christmas is dope. Like, we showed up, and Noel's going to cook for us. She was like, okay. I was like, I got all the meals done. I was like, here we go.

We got two giant fucking meals. Sit down. No cooking. Let's enjoy food. And then they started eating. Matt loves the beef stew. okay i was like i got all the meals done i was like here we go we got to sit down no cooking fucking let's enjoy food and then they started eating matt loves the beef stew he him and noel came over so matt loves your beef stew yeah but the first time he had it he was like hey me and noel got a bounce we can't stay and eat i was like no problem they just got tattoos willows at the house yeah they were leaving matt's like i'm just gonna grab a bite uh just i'm gonna taste it real quick it's like yeah he took his taste he was like he's like no well we're staying we're eating a fucking bowl of this

what the fuck and they sat down they ate the whole he's like you have to make this way more than you do i've never had this so i brought six pounds of beef stew no seven pounds it was a fuck ton of beef that's a lot of stew and then a huge vat of chicken tikka masala and then they started matt's like i haven't had this we killed both dishes gone hell yeah and i was like it was just fucking good it was just a beeline bubble bath it was just a good fucking christmas just being a fat piece of shit and drinking. That's why I live every day like Christmas. Taco Bell and whiskey. I don't know why I picture the Christmas story.

It's like, Matt, you still got a Santa hat on. Yeah, I'm so burning. And three ghosts came to batty that night. The ghost of diabetes passed. Stop eating Taco Bell.

No. Fuck you ghost. Oh, god damn, dude. What the fuck? Stop eating Taco Bell. oh god damn dude what the fuck stop eating taco bell speaking of taco bell this is when you were young and healthy Eli shut the fuck up taco bell has a subscription service now

oh we were talking about that last night yeah it's like 10 bucks for all you can eat something i don't wait don't you get a taco a day or something yeah for 30 days for 10 bucks you can go in and get a taco taco bell subscription what do you get what do you get here we go taco a day for 10 bucks because it sense. Because most people aren't going to go get a taco a day. Doing the math, it's genius. It's called the Taco Lover's Pass.

Because $10, you think about it. A taco a day for three days. Those tacos... They're like 50 cents a piece or anything. Probably 10. Oh, you mean for them to make? Yeah, for them it's less than 10 cents. It's like 10 cents.

Absolutely. So you got to think your average person maybe will go every other day. So it's 15 tacos. I'm just going to gonna say you can get your doritos low uh logos taco with the with your taco pass you get the fancy tacos yeah that shit doesn't cost you a thing but they're guaranteed 10 bucks a month for anyone that's subscribed yeah and there's gonna be so many like college kids and dad they're not gonna use it they forget about it they forget to cancel i'm about to go get a taco pass, bro.

That's what we should have got. Wait, but can you save up? Can you save up your taco a day? No, Batty. Get 30 in one day, and then you're done. He's like, I'm here to redeem my taco. They're like, sir, who is this for? Me.

It's disgusting, sir. I'll take them now. Put them in this bag. Me can't get her. Oh, Jesus. I was thinking his future ghost. That's what he's showing him. How'd he go on in there? This is you in the future, Matty.

I'll take my 30. That's his present ghost. His future ghost is grave. I just see Jabba the Hutt with, like, my hat. Do-ka-be-ka-ba-ka-wookie. Ghost of present. The ghost of future, it's a grave, and then you just see a fucking giant. Tacos are at present. God damn it.

Taco, a subscription to tacos? That's the world we live in now you can get a subscription for tacos as a genius but i mean business-wise i was like that's i remember reading that last night on the pooper and i was like that's a genius business plan that was my only thought process can you combine it with doordash and be an extra piece of shit i thought so that's the thing like that was my issue the only reason i don't have a taco lover's pass right now is because i don't want to have to physically go into a store and look somebody in the eyes when i order 18 tacos you know what i mean like i don't need that judgment in my life i can no contact door dash that shit they'll place on my door and leave and then i can just give me my food i just picture the i'll take one taco please

i need you just pulling out your card do you get a card i don't know are you heavy breathing dude just get one taco and leave yeah every day dude imagine the people are like, yo, he's back again. It's been 16 days. Sir, it's 12 1 a.m. Hell, that's a new taco. Dude, imagine going in at 11 50 at night. I'll take one.

You eat it in front of like at the counter in front of them. It's 12. Sir, bring me up for one more place. Does anyone want to do a vlog with me where we go to Taco Bell for 30 days straight and eat one taco? Yes.

I will die on this. I love this. This is New Year's. Everyone starts their fitness challenge and donuts over here is like the 30 day Taco Bell challenge. I'm challenging myself this year, guys. Come on. I'm pushing my body to the limit.

I'm going to start having to walk to Taco Bell so I don't die. Batty becomes a marathon runner. I've got to run to get my one taco a day. Oh, man. Dude, also new games coming out there wait wait is there new games coming out this year's fucking has some solid boys coming out video games yeah the new god of war we talk about video games now i know we're moving on from coming tacos to video games have you ever put cum in a taco? That's the question. That's just sad.

Isn't that one of the rumors from back in the day? I swear every place is like, one time, I swear, there was cum in a taco, and a lady ate it and sued Taco Bell for it. It's like the thumb in the chili at Wendy's. Do you remember that one? That actually happened. The person cut their fucking finger off

and put it in a thing of chili because they started investigating it, and they're like, wait, your boyfriend is missing a freshly cut thumb. Listen, officer. When does fast grocery delivery through Instacart matter most? When your famous grainy mustard potato salad isn't so famous without the grainy mustard.

When the barbecue's lit, but there's nothing to grill. When the in-laws decide that, actually, they will stay for dinner. Instacart has all your groceries covered this summer. there's nothing to grill when the in-laws decide that actually they will stay for dinner. Instacart has all your groceries covered this summer. So download the app and get delivery in as fast as 60 minutes. Plus enjoy $0 delivery fees on your first three orders. Service fees, exclusions, and terms apply. Instacart, groceries that over deliver. I don't see the issue here. I give it one thumbs up. I have missed that story. I don't like that.

They had one that the monster, like an energy drink company, had a fucking finger in it too. Shit, I didn't see that one. Yeah. It was like the Mexico location or some shit where you're like, hmm, makes sense. That makes sense. Yeah.

I think it was the same thing. It fucked up in the machine. It was like, and then it went in the can. Someone was like, ah, just imagine us drinking on the podcast, a fucking white claw. And then a fucking finger came out.

I'd be like, it's been documented. That'd be great content though. That describes Richie's shit now. I'd also throw up on both of you. By the way, we're not podcasting anymore. We're suing the fuck out of you, White Claw.

White Claw didn't want to sponsor us. I'm still butthurt about that. Lame. I mean, business-wise, it does make sense. Right? We had an Arab on the podcast. Yeah. That's the reason. Oh, God. We're like, we just thought you hated us because we were drinking on podcasts no it's because you're mexican eli thank you for being reasonable it's called white claw

yeah not brown claw bitches you know i'll still never get on my head You and a rice filled with a weed eater. That needs to be a shirt. Oh, yeah. We still have to have Matt back on to do those T-shirts that we need to make. That we need to make. On the list of... So, also, another thing to put in the comments below. What's your favorite thing that we forgot about as soon as we said we were going to do it on this podcast?

Because it's a weekly event now. It's only happened 37 times now. We did say we were going to upgrade one day, and here we are. Look at us. And we look good. We're probably not going to do any of the other things we said, though. We say things, and then we drink too much,

and forget we say things. we drink too much and forget we say things yes oh man then i re-watched the podcast right before i published it i'm like oh fuck i said we said we were gonna do that and then i forget and here we are hey what new games are coming out oh god of war do god of war the rings Eldon Eldon rings Eldon rings oh yeah but with George RR Martin yeah I don't give a fuck it's dark so when you're showing me with the giant beautiful landscape Pokemon Pokemon's coming out I caught up this month yeah it's like the 21st 22nd legend of Arceus yeah so Pokemon is doing a feudal Japan-style Pokemon game.

That's what it's called? Yeah, it's called The Legend of Arceus. It is an open world. We're talking Breath of the Wild-style Pokemon. Oh, it's going to be Breath of the Wild. But it's in feudal Japan. Yeah. What?

Wait, what? Yeah, it's not like new with new Pokeballs and technology and Pokedexes and gears. It's like the origin of Pokemon stuff. How did they catch Pokemon? So you're going to have six Pokemon following you around behind you? No, they have like, you know, okay, so for everyone who doesn't know anything about Pokemon because you're a bunch of fucking idiots, Pokeballs were made originally from apricots, I believe they were called, apricorns, apricots, I don't remember what it was exactly.

And they didn't work, they just shoved the Pokemon in, and they would scream the entire time at your waist. Oh, I hate this. You throw the Pokemon like balls out. It's like... Vomiting? There was an animated something where they did that you ruined my book all right so how do the apricots work okay so apricots go i'm busy i'm opening liquor right now i can't tolerate you too i can't open it. Eli, open this.

I will go on on your fucking how they used to beat the shit out of them with Bokens. Pokeballs are made from berries. That was the original. I'm assuming what it looks like is they're old school looking pokeballs before they were crazy. In this open world style game you get a capture, you can find

Pokemon in the overworld just walking around in the grass and shit. That's fucking cool Why are they stirring it off in feudal Japan instead of just doing like like regular Pokemon open-world? That's weird. You know they used to beat the shit out of Pokemon. Yeah, absolutely There's samurai yeah, they were not nice to They took their wooden swords and they would just smack them. The Pokins are just like Pikachu trying to do a Fakata. And he's just beating the shit out of them because he can't hit his form. He's so sad right now.

Oh my, I should hit Pikachu. Arigato. Kodewa onagosuma of Pikoki. Nani? Nani? Just a quick shout out to my...

I'm taking the little one. To my buddy Gypsy Danger for sending the bottle of Woodford Reserve who almost got a man shot on my property when I received it. So thank you for that bottle. Cheers, cunts. Cheers. Dude, I can't wait

for fucking beating the shit out of Pokemon. Oh, that's good. It's really good. Yeah, Woodford Smooth, man. Damn, I wasn't sure. I wasn't damn. Okay. Woodford Deck, good. I didn't know they were going back in the day because if you think about it, Pokemon's very based off of

technology. It's all technology based. This is the origin to Pokemon. Yeah, like what the fuck do you do? This is the new region. Magic. Hylian region or something like that. Which even kind of sounds like hyrule which is i was gonna say like hyrule it's like breath of the wild really really good it's on

the switch obviously and weren't people bitching about this one because they're like yo the open world is very not open or it felt like cheesy this is the new the one that's out shining pearl brilliant diamond no it's whatever the the one coming out i know but i thought people seen screenshots and initially they were pissed because they're like i don't think so i haven't if there if there's outrage or anything about it i haven't been following it i've stopped listening to shitty reviews because everybody's mad dude oh my god something to talk about uh have you seen the hate that ready or not is getting right now no no why oh my God. Kotaku. Kotaku. Of course, Kotaku is the one who released it. What?

Whoa. Kotaku's finding shit to make people mad. Fucking people should get mad at the police. Dude, straight up. That's what they're doing. They're like, they're saying like SWAT, is it the new gray FPS or is it just a. Racism in video game format. A fantasy version of SWAT.

Somebody to live their SWAT fantasies of shooting people. You can do that in video game format a fantasy version of somebody to live their swap fantasies of shooting people you can do that in any game bro that in the article goes in like crazy I skimmed it I only saw the bits and pieces of it there was some stuff like some assets in the game that apparently

could be associated with some sort of like white supremacy or racist shit but it wasn't what the author's face i guarantee they have purple bro kota i i can't fuck kotaku honestly yeah you look at any major like those are it's kotaku it's all those it's always reviewers or anythings and then it's because it's it's fluff pieces and then i love. I've been watching donkey. I was a God. Can we get, I want donkey on the podcast.

Jeff Ramsey on the podcast. Who's that? Uh, Jeff Ramsey from achievement Hunter. Like he's a military guy. Like he's like my, he's the reason I, I kind of got into content creation way back in the day for YouTube,

like achievement Hunter. Yeah. When I failed, I want to failed miserably as a YouTuber. I don't remember that. I'll make you a YouTuber yet, buddy. Let's slow down. Let's just calm down here.

Donkey. I love Donkey because if you watch his stuff, he destroys video game reviewers. That's one of my favorite things he does. And he shows how big a piece of shit a lot of them are on how they review stuff. They say the same verbiage.

Or it's like, this game is boring, blah, blah, blah, blah. 96 out of 100. And he's like, give a fuck. This game is trash. Because X, Y, and Z. Yeah. But Kotaku. Whatever.

Kotaku. Yeah. They've always been known for just being piles of shit. It's just been like the last five years with Kotaku. Every article is like a bigger and bigger pile of shit. It's just been like the last five years with Kotaku. Every article is like a bigger and bigger pile of shit. What was that one? Can we name this episode of the podcast Kotaku Sucks? I'm down.

I want to take that article. Featuring Donut Operator. Yeah, there we go. Kotaku Sucks featuring Donut Operator. Hell yeah. Why didn't you guys get sued? Fuck. No, I want to take that article and break it down for like a main channel video.

Here's why you're fucking stupid. Honestly, no. I think Clean talked about it a little bit already, but Kotaku, they just go in on trying to destroy Ready or Not. I can't remember the devs' names right now, but it's like they're calling the devs racist and shit. Kotaku's the same stupid fucks there was a uh one of their people did an article about how more triple a games need to represent the blind community for video games and developing video

games specifically for the blind shit you not and then they go in it's like how it's a race it's what's the opposite it's like racist or it's against uh ableism or something yeah it's like you're not doing this you're just blah blah blah because we don't and you're like okay like i i have blind friends i've had like uh seeing impaired friends and they they you know what they usually don't do is bitch about video games not being able to be made for them because they're like you know what they they what why am i gonna get pissed about this they fucking make problems that no one really has or that no one's saying and kataku literally made an article about it and the the girl it was a female and she she wasn't she's legally blind

just by based off of eye subscription not even like full like hey i wasn't born with eyes i didn't fucking do this it was just that and you're like you fucking oh oh you are pissing you are mad because the world doesn't revolve around you and it's fucking shitty and then you have people um one of my favorite uh blind people oh what was his name it was uh your favorite blind people you have like a you you have well did you ever see the black uh he's black kid from my favorite blind dude he was the the black kid he was a teenager he learned how to click to see stuff oh shit yes like echolocation shit yeah he could play video games he could do any of that shit just based off of clicking and just sounds literally went blind he got eye cancer lost his eyes at four or five started using echo he just clicks he can tell you where objects are

how big they are where they are he ride his bicycle everything just clicking he's a bat bro literally and they were like he was the only one that taught himself to do it too and they're like scientists were like yo what the fuck this dude i got some evolution shit what is his name because it was crazy that's his mutant power play basketball bro yeah did you watch him shooting so the whole time playing basketball i remember seeing this on tv forever ago did you do it constantly yeah constant he just like does that and dude you i'll i'll show you after this when you watch him like interacting running downstairs going out riding his bicycle around like moving in and out of traffic you're like

what the ever living fuck and then they're like okay get this object he'd be like he's like oh it's right here. It's this high. Oh, is it this? And he'd name what it is. I haven't even seen it. It's like Daredevil. Yeah, he's got Daredevil vision. Oh, my God.

Spider-Man. I want Daredevil. Did you see Spider-Man? No, don't even start. You guys haven't seen Spider-Man yet? No, the big one. You know, that was like Sony's highest grossing picture of all time. It was so fucking good.

How have you not seen Spider-Man? Don't start with Spider-Man after we leave today. Go see it. Did we talk about webs coming out of someone's dick in a previous podcast? Probably, yeah. Spider-Man booty hole. It was buttholes. Oh, okay.

Ben Underwood. That's the kid. You guys need to go see spider-man no way home okay no way home no way home no homecoming no homecoming is the last one wait i don't know there's so many dude you need to go see spider-man it is so i haven't seen i heard it's fucking bro there isn't a moment in that movie that i was like meh it's all great and as somebody who grew up over the last you're in the city you're old you guys are old like me uh you you you saw you grew up with the other spider-mans like there's the callbacks and everything is it's go see it okay right it's the one with uh dr strange in it yes okay yes yep i

just i haven't i haven't had anything spoiled yet and i I'm like, go see the movie. I've heard nothing. However, you know, it came out like two weeks ago. I know. I don't know. Weird. We were fucking. Oh, you guys like.

Yeah. I'm sorry. Do you want me to go to the movie? Gingivitis. You can't go into a movie theater without mouthwash, Batty. I did. It took me two weeks to find that mouthwash to get this gingivitis. Now I can go.

So I go. Well, the movie was very, good i heard nothing my uber driver the other day like literally said he was like you need to go watch the fucking movie he was you should listen to your driver yeah he was like it's fucking good i was like oh fuck okay done i heard it heard it's one of the best Marvel movies to date. It's like that. Ragnarok. It's up there. It's like with Ragnarok.

We're talking top five without a doubt. Easy. We're talking like OG Iron Man, Ragnarok. It's good. Yeah. Fine. Fine. Fine.

That. Oh, Dexter. Watch the new Dexter. Yeah, I gotta watch that. I've heard, Dexter watched the new Dexter. Yeah. I got to watch the effort. You guys were saying the new Dexter is really good, too. Yeah. I just been watching. We caught up on Queen's Gambit.

Watch all Witcher. We haven't even discussed Witcher. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. The new Witcher was so. Is the whole season out now? Yeah. Yeah.

Witcher drops all at once. Yeah. Netflix doesn't make you wait week to week Disney plus you fucks which reminds me Henry Cavill still needs to be on the show yeah Henry Cavill I know you're a huge follower

you watch this probably every week definitely still welcome right here you're gonna sit on my side well okay we're calling it now you guys hear it on episode 36 definitely still welcome. Right here. You're going to sit on my side? Not bad. Well, okay. We're calling it now. You guys hear it on episode 36. Henry's sitting on my...

Me and Henry, that's what I call him. Yeah. My boy Hen. Yeah, my boy Hen. Big H. I'm just tweeting at Henry Cavill right now. It's okay. I'm like, hey.

I DM'd him on Instagram. I was like hey man nice dick who doesn't say that right old oh h big h big h our boy big h i just want like if i can use this podcast for one thing it is to blow up his twitter instagram with be on unsubscribe until we have big h who Who's probably worth a hundred million dollars coming into this room, coming into this room, sitting right driving up that fucking driveway.

I was like, I done fucked. Who's going to see my house and be like, nevermind. What if we's going to see my house and be like, never mind. How? What if we get him to call in? Huh? Can we get him to do a cameo?

I don't think any camel's on cameo. Imagine if it was on cameo where you just do like 18 cameos and was asking him questions. This costed $3,286. Completely worth it. Oh, good. Just awkwardly cut stuff.

Does he have a Henry? He's definitely not on Twitter. I'm just even on Twitter. Oh. Henry Cavill News. He has like 30 million followers on Instagram. Huh? Yeah.

He might get one or two DMs. Yeah, maybe a couple. Probably a DM order. So him, Dunkey, a close second. Jeff Ramsey. Jeff Ramsey. He's in Austin too. So we could

probably get a couple of the Achievement Hunter guys. Oh yeah, they're all up. Freddie's supposed to come out and do one. Yeah, where the fuck is Freddie? LA doing Freddie stuff. He comes out, I'll run a D&D game again. Henry Cavill, we can't have any of our girlfriends around when he comes out. No.

They'll come instantly. Yeah. I mean, I'm going to come instantly. I am too. But we can't have our girlfriends around. Can we ask him to wear the wig? The white wig? Oh my god.

That would be hilarious. Can you dress him like a witcher? We're all just quiet the whole time. Welcome to unsubscribeubscribe Thanks for being here Hey can you do the witcher sign Can you say fuck in that deep growly voice Fuck I just can't

Can you do it one more time Love you Henry Cavill Henry Cavill can I touch your jawline Oh my god He's just sitting here drinking white cloth we get him shit wrecked we're like man that was a weird episode and we're best friends with Henry now

can we be extras on the witcher season three we can just die yeah can you kill me by big age kill us yeah just big h yo h dog can we see your abs real quick fuck bro god damn it i came again he doesn't have a twitter no i don't see one i could see him not having a twitter that makes sense i have man yeah i have a twitter i don't use it but he has an instagram so we just all have to blow him up on instagram yeah don't guys message say it in his comment sections and then upvote them

i don't know what henry cavill would just be god damn it oh dude i bet his manager would hate us you can't be on this show you cannot be on the show they talk about cum and video games he's like i like video games i don't know why he sounds like that he is british is he i didn't know that yeah see he yeah but your accent sucks. This is what I was talking about. You sound like soap. He goes, no, he's, uh, he sounds like Snake. He does have a very, Geralt has a very big. Geralt? We're going with Geralt now? Yeah, Geralt. That's his name.

Big H or G, depending on how close you are with him. Oh, Witch Daddy is bad. Are we developing a relationship with Henry Cavill? We're developing a relationship with Henry Cavill without him knowing it right now. Welcome to the unsubscribe podcast. Hey, can you turn? Can we do the Witcher process on our podcast? We just go through the transformation.

I could talk to him about the Witcher for like eight hours. Same. I can talk to him about World of Warcraft for a long time, too. Yeah, he's a super nerd on that. Bro, he would... We'd be best friends. He'd move to Bernie. He would move to Bernie, yeah,

like we all do. You don't know, buddy. You don't know, buddy. All the rest of us are here. Sure, he's worth a couple more dollars than all of us. Dude, Big G. You make Matt look poor.

Both Matts combined. All of us combined are poor. Both mats combined. All of us are poor. He's like cute. You get stopped in a gun store once. He's that next level famous. Smells like four. The next episode, we're just, we hate Henry Cavill. He slept with all our girlfriends.

God damn it. Henry Cavill, fuck you. He didn't even try. We were so cool. They just, they knew he was here and they were already naked. Big A. You're already naked. I thought you were my friend, Big H.

Big A. Big G, where'd you come from? Yeah, Big G. Girl A. Big G, would you come? Yeah, Big G. Girl. We were homies. You hate our podcast. Hey, this is the goal. We want just Big H.

Is that the end goal for Unsubscribe? Get Henry Cavill on the podcast? Never do another one. After that, we stopped. We peaked. the end goal for unsubscribe get henry cavill on the podcast never never do another one after that we stopped we peaked if that happens episode 42 we're sorry episode 42 it's like henry cavill's here we're like weird we're stopping after this that sucks but uh it's been a good run we could probably live off that one episode's ad revenue, though, for like a while. It's going to get a couple couple mil.

We need to start featuring Henry Cavill. We'll just get a cardboard cut. I'll put it right there. We've talked about him in like 10 fucking episodes now. Oh, man, that would let's. Yes. Oh, he just sits yes oh he should be like oh

henry oh no it'd be good to have have our our henry back there as a guest every episode and then maybe one day the real yeah but we're every episode we're just like and we have henry cavill here and then the real one one day that would be fucking dope. It's still standing exactly like that and then he just moves and sits down. We can get a maximum height of 6'3". How are you guys feeling with 6'3"? He's probably 6'3", isn't he?

I mean, that's the best $70 I think I've ever spent. Our next guest on the podcast is going to be Tim Kennedy and Henry Cavill. This is our running gag from now is Henry Cavill. Tim, like, what is that? It's like our guest, our other guest, Henry Cavill. It's our backup guest if, you know, people want to show up.

Like, when Eli can't be here, we just put them. It's not upright. It's still, like, backwards. So the light's reflecting upright it's still like backwards so the lights reflecting off it weird it slowly slides down halfway through the episode pouring booze on it on pulsing white claw we change his outfits periodically for christmas for halloween for valentine's day we'll get a Geralt version, a Superman version. God damn.

Mustache version. He's going to be on one day. Probably not. Is it going to happen? What's your thought, Donut? Oh, man. Oh, no. He had a look at his eye there.

It was a twinkle. He calls him. It's like, wait, I forgot I have his number. No, you know who would be on the podcast, though? Dean Cain. An actor, Superman. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I talked to him on Twitter and Instagram.

He would be on here. Is he from Texas? I don't know. We could get all the Supermans. Probably not all of them, because one of them not all of them Yeah one of them did die We can still do that podcast on his grave That's true too People already hate us you should stop

That's true I feel like That would be a weird podcast I feel like joking about Christopher Reeves Is like a line right Is that like a line you can? Isn't that like a line? You can't do that? All right, fuck it.

We're good. Don't fall off a horse. So whoever, can we just make a pact? Oh, Jesus Christ. Whichever one of us dies first, can we do a podcast on their grave done absolutely it's gonna be mine so two years from now well i mean if the spicy depression doesn't get me it'll be the diabetes i'm gonna bring one taco to your grave okay so why call in one taco the best podcast ever we just make his gravestone taco bell.

Oh, no. I hate it. Yum. There's a button you can push on Batty's grave that does that. Lori's like, I hate you guys were in charge of his funeral service and had anything to do with building his gravestone. He would have wanted this. God damn.

Sponsored by Taco Bell. Yum. But yeah, we could get that Superman. We could get Henry Cavill. Henry Cavill. It's never going to be on the podcast. It's never going to happen.

It's going to happen. We got gotta keep growing if we get how many subs do you think he would need to see I think at least a million

at least at least we're talking like 10 mil we're talking that's a lot he's a nerd yeah

what if he already follows one of us he doesn't look look don't talk about H-Dog like that okay I love H-Dog as much as you guys do I promise you but there's yeah what if he already follows one of us he doesn't look look don't talk about h dog like that okay i love h dog as much as you guys do i promise you but there's it doesn't sound it sounds like you don't love h dog as much as us it sounds like you hate non-h dog how dare you

i think a mil maybe 50 000 we're almost at 50k subs i know that's gonna kind of cool it'd be way weirder if he showed up at 50k subs he's like as a 50k subs or he brings us our 100,000 okay so he's never gonna come to my poor ass house but i bet we get him to call in on the on no we have to have him come here there's zero chance there that might be the first time we don't do it here at your house. We're going to go to Donuts for that one. Yeah, we need not a fucking creepy driveway. What's wrong with my driveway? A man worth a hundred million just driving up that driveway to this house.

Do you think, how would you feel if you've never met these people that do a video game podcast about cum? I mean, his bodyguard would come first. Yeah. Oh, no. We got to do the podcast at the abandoned mansion or something. It's like, Matt, we need to borrow your house. Yeah, we got to borrow your mansion real quick, buddy. Mountain top.

H-Dog's coming into town. Yeah. Do you have a balcony we can hang out on? He's like, can you guys please stop calling me H-Dog? We make him uncomfortable. This podcast is just three grown-ass men fanboying about Henry Cavill. How old is Henry Cavill? He's probably younger than...

I think he's probably your age. I bet he's your age. No, 34. 34 is my age. Wait, how old am I? How old is Henry? How old is Henry? Or 38, Cavill.

What's your guess, Eli? 38. He's 38? I said he's your age. I'm not 38, Donut! Eli, you wouldn't be the oldest one in the room for once? It feels so good H-Dog looks younger than all of us though

Yep That's what Taco Bell does It just destroys your We could do our laundry on his stomach So many good stuff He just lays across the table We're doing baddie's laundry You wasted this podcast opportunity.

No, don't just shut the fuck up. You don't say his name like that. Don't ever say his name. Aggression. Fuck H dog. Be quiet. Okay,

bad. He closes out. That was a solid hour and 36 minutes of the last 30 minutes dedicated to fucking henry watching the unsubscribed podcast or listening to it i don't want it wherever you're hanging out today

uh we have eli double tap donut operator and of course i am batty streams love you see you next time have a fantastic day I would let Henry Cavill do disgusting things to me