Unsubscribe Podcast - 40 - Clickbait ft. Heather Lynn

Episode Date: February 9, 2022

Unsubscribe Ep40 - Clickbait ft. @HeatherLynnOh *GIRL ALERT* *GIRL ALERT* *GIRL ALERT* IF YOU HAVE A WEAK IMMUNE SYSTEM BE CAREFUL, THIS GIRL IS CONFIRMED TO HAVE THE NEW OPTIMUS PRIME VARIANT OF COOTIES! But for real, Heather is awesome and we finally tricked a girl to hang out with us. ok bye. ------------------------------ WHERE TO LISTEN Spotify https://spoti.fi/2Ye8YOU Apple Podcasts https://apple.co/3cbqY4k Amazon https://amzn.to/2YbzQia Google Play https://bit.ly/2YcWmaD Stitcher https://bit.ly/3cbnY8o ------------------------------ Follow the Cast of Unsubscribe -Baddie- @Baddie Streams https://www.twitch.tv/baddie https://twitter.com/BaddieStreams https://www.instagram.com/baddiestreams/ https://www.youtube.com/baddiestreams -DonutOperator- @Donut Operator @Donut Vlogerator https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwkm_Wcyh0pc7UUmZZfL-6w https://www.instagram.com/donutoperator/ https://www.twitch.tv/DonutOperator https://twitter.com/DonutOperator -Eli_Doubletap- @Eli Doubletap https://www.instagram.com/eli_doubletap/ https://www.twitch.tv/Eli_Doubletap https://twitter.com/Eli_Doubletap https://www.youtube.com/c/EliDoubletap ------------------------------ Edited by Fluck https://www.twitch.tv/fluck Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I hate this so much say hi to Eli it's racially ambiguous that guy's fucking ridiculous don't I it's harder to rhyme but he's a really nice guy welcome to unsubscribe

hey guys thanks for watching unsubscribe podcast make sure wherever you're listening or watching whether it's on I will come down and subscribe. Hey, guys. Thanks for watching the Subscribe Podcast. Make sure wherever you're listening or watching, whether it's on YouTube, Castro, Spotify, Apple, Google, Amazon, Podbean, Stitcher, or that's all of them. Please leave a comment, like it, thumbs up it, give it a rating of five stars, whatever you do. It helps the podcast out immensely. And Donut and eli will be very happy if you do that and we want to make donate eli happy today yeah for five stars on everything

and a comment if there is possible because we need to be at the top don't say something motivating we got a girl on the podcast hi everyone unsubscribed podcast here i'm joined by batty streams eli double fap and and Miss Heather Lynn, the first female guest that we've had on here. Episode 40. You count female Eli. I'm hardly a female, though. More feminine than Heather.

No. I think I've always been one of the boys. Always. Yeah. It's the penis. It is the penis that, you know, really adds. Is it an undersized dick or an oversized clit? We don't know.

Both. What the fuck? It's disgusting. Why does your cl What the fuck? It's disgusting. Why does your clit have veins? It's so vascular. Are we not addressing this? Have you met Batty? Lord have mercy.

Don't dress. You look at you. You have a tumbler full of Moscow you drove here with. And it's not full of it. It's just diluted slightly. It's just... Heather, I know you. It's diluted slightly. It's slightly diluted. It's a vodka, vodka, vodka Red Bull.

Also, shout out to our sponsors, Tito's. On Subscribe Podcast or AA Meeting. Don't forget to finger your drink after. Oh yeah, I'm gonna stir it. Oh, you boys. I have food poisoning right now, so I'm going easy. Why am I always the messed up one on the podcast?

Oh, yeah. Oh, this should help. Okay, everyone. Remember to like. Just say that. You do it. Remember to like what? But look into the back camera.

Say the follow, subscribe. Hey, guys. Follow and subscribe for chaos. Now do it more sultry. We got to win them over. Pretend you're Donut. We're using. Now do it more sultry. We gotta win them over. We're using... Now do a hair flip. Do a hair flip.

She's like this. She's hair flip. Follow and subscribe. It doesn't work when I do it. Follow and subscribe. Follow and subscribe. The thumbnail. The clickbait. We'll just have that again.

No, can I be doing it next to her? I can Photoshop. I'll Photoshop. I'll Photoshop your head on her body. It's done. Yes! I got so many comments from people that were like, I love your team photo. So good.

What was the team photo? Can you describe the team photo for us? It was just straight tits. I mean, it was everybody's faces and then tits. So good. What was the team photo? Can you describe the team photo for our viewers listening? It was just straight tits. I mean, it was everybody's faces and then tits. Yeah, I put up everyone's faces for the two teams. And then it's just like, they all come up. They're like, and you just see Heather's rack.

Because we did that one video. The terror, the home invasion. Home invasion. That was so good. Anytime I plan the camera to Heather, it's like everyone had dialogue or talking scenes. So I'd be like, yeah, yeah, yeah. So the camera, even when she leaves the house,

it goes down and she's like, ugh. Oh no. So who do we have on the podcast today? Who it is? Who it is? Who it is? I'm Heather Lynn. I don't know.

I make stupid videos. Very stupid. stupid stupid videos very stupid very stupid videos He's dark humor and alcohol is a crutch, so I feel like I fit in with you assholes 100 baddie dreams from this thing as doughnuts I just like doughnuts reason he's like i have food poisoning something's gonna make me feel better it's like that episode it's always sunny whenever they think they all have like the flu and they realize it's because they haven't drank in 24 hours i'm just feeling like clammy Oh, this is my liver healing Take a Flintstone vitamin it offsets the alcohol For dr. Heather a

Flintstone gummy will cure alcoholism. Yeah, or like the chalky ones that used to have when you're a kid I like those fucking things I would fucking crush Those as a child Well that explains a lot What's wrong with the boy? Seven year old baddie crushes, but stones doing lines Never taken a role in my entire life so bad would probably it would probably actually do its job on baby

Boring is but I'm a guy daddy's here. I don't feel like I don't see it Maddie's gone streaming all of a sudden we're like Today And all of a sudden we're like, Maddie, what the fuck? You have a podcast. Yeah, that didn't happen today. So the kids just actually crush up like the Smarties and shit, right? And the little rapper, the little twist rapper, and you just smash them up and then...

Did they snort them? What? Where is the... I was joking. I'm from Kentucky, so... I didn't do it, but I witnessed... My friend, I heard... You might recognize her from Redneck Island?

Let's not ever talk about that. Push it deep. What from Redneck Island? Let's not ever talk about that. Push it deep. What is Redneck Island? Look at all the guys are now like, I don't know. Who is the host of Redneck Island? Stone Cold Steve Austin. God damn right, Austin 316.

Hold on, I can cry in beer for that man. No, he's a very nice man. He's a very nice man. He's a very nice man. Okay, so what happened on Redneck Island? Just stupidity, you know. It's like this podcast. I remember one of the days, one of the producers, because I would go into the interview days,

and one of the producers pulled me aside, and he was like, what are you doing? And I was like, what do you mean? And he was like, you know you don't belong here, right? And I was like, what? And he was like, you are way too smart for this shit. He's like, you need to't belong here right and I was like what he was like you are Way too smart for this shit Really was it on MTV It's like ESP in the

Everyone go google Heather Lynn Redneck Island let's bump that up so people type her name into google it shows up right at the top I fucking hate this so much none of your social media is just Redneck Island my favorite part of this story is how long was it? a month? month and a half?

how much did they pay you Heather Lynn? $100 a day and that was it. I didn't get anything afterwards. And it's still running. Like, you can still, like, I mean, obviously half of it's, like, scripted. They kind of drive the narrative. This is where the you're too smart for this thing came in. They kind of drive the narrative.

And I used to go into my interviews where people are, like, drunk. Like, I swear. And then she said blah, blah, blah. And I'd go in. I'd be like, tell me what you want me to say. I want to get out of here as soon as possible. And they're like, oh, my God. Like, all right, let's do this. So I know go in I'm like tell me what you want me to say I want to get out of here as soon as possible

So I know Hey you made ten bucks an hour Blacklisted by Viacom like it was like a whole thing like I first I will because I went skinny dipping in their lake on the down days and They were sad that they didn't get it on camera. And I'd been squirreling away whiskey and water bottles. And so I took out... Wait, you? No.

Were squirreling away whiskey and water bottles? No way. No way. The audience is thinking, this is what, two years ago? No. This was eight years ago. I was young 20s. But she's still squirreling away alcohol, right?

You're not young 20s anymore? No, I'm an 20s. But she's still squirrel weight alcohol. You're not young 20s anymore? No, I'm fucking, I'm an old bitch. I'm like a geriatric OnlyFans over here. I love talking to you, Heather. It's always just good. It's just the truth. It's just angry, blind rage. I vibe with it.

Honestly, it's kind of how I've lived my life. How is aging treating you? Really good. Really good. Really good. You know? Cody's like, oh. I slip farther and farther. Is this your fault, Cody?

What do you want to say? Ben, you look great. It's fine. I've got another good 10 years before I, like. Someone's glass half-full He's drinking for you Red Bull I didn't sleep last night. I'm going on like 20 something hours I know baddie Texas like baddie both y'all

just the worst at fucking texting at random ass times i'll get like at 3 a.m don't it's like don't respond or you get a random i'm like i'm waking up at seven in the morning i get texts from baddie he's like are we doing this today i'm like okay first off i'm going to bed literally he was like if we're not doing this at noon, I'm going to sleep. I was like, oh, no, we'll just move it. I was like, this is my friend. So you really haven't slept. No, I was streaming this morning.

I was late to our lunch before this because I was still live. Gotcha. Okay. He's like, I'll be there. And then we're like there. I was like, he fell asleep. I was like, he fell. You live the closest.

Yeah, that's why I'm streaming. Oh, yeah. Something big happened. shit yeah so wait okay before that we'll do a pause you're a nerd Heather likes video games okay okay so I was playing Tarkov and uh that's what I do full-time all the time and in Tarkov they added VoIP if you don't know that means it's voice over IP it's how you talk to each other in game without using like a third party service, so you can talk to like random people as they're running around trying to shoot you. Yeah, it's like a proximity chat. Yeah, yeah, sorry, proximity chat, yeah. And I was basically just lying to everybody in the game about like the best,

I was like, dude, there's this new type of ammo, it's the best shit ever, it's bugged right now, you gotta use it, it's the worst shit in the game. And I was like, guys, I'm using this. Don't, what if we don't, just don't kill me. I'll give you my loot. We'll hang out. It'll be fine. And then I gobbled that.

I just want, I'll just walk around corners and be like, and I'll just gobble at people because they're like, what the fuck? And I'll just gobble around. This is the big news? Yeah. Oh. This is a very important thing. Just imagine you're not getting that 60 seconds back. What can I?

We're just here. 60 seconds. I got like five more minutes. I got it. He's like, so about to goblin. So I was gobbling at these guys, right? And it was a team of two. This is the big news.

And we became friends. They didn't want to kill me anymore. It was great. We were having just like the most wholesome conversation of my entire life. On target when a game, we're supposed to murder each other. So we go to keep looting, right? And another guy shoots at us. Another guy. I was like, I got this. I just jumped out a window, started go to keep looting, right? And another guy shoots at us. Another guy.

I was like, I got this. I just jumped out a window, started gobbling at this dude. He didn't know what to do. He started giggling like an idiot. He's like, well, fuck. And he gobbled back. He gobbled back at me. And it was just.

Did you get another gobble? Yeah. Did he join the gobble team? I gobbled into the darkness and somebody gobbled back. Did he join the team of turkeys? But there was a problem. He had killed one of the other guys already. And I was like, bro, it's after Thanksgiving.

You're not supposed to be killing turkeys. So I had to go back and forth. I had to be a mediator between the two rival turkey gangs. And I was like, hey, man, you killed him. Don't take his loot. The other guy's going to come in, but we won't kill you. And he's like, you couldn't. I'm like, I'm right next to you with a gun. He's like, good point. Never mind. He's like, wait, I thought you were a turkey. Turkeys don't take his loot the other guy's gonna come in but we won't kill you and he's like you couldn't i'm like i'm right next to you with a gun he's like good point never mind he's like wait i

thought you were a turkey turkeys don't have guns i was like fuck they had me i was like okay so i know we started out this whole relationship on a lie but i think we can move on we can build from this and honestly it was great we all just had a great time we all met up we kind of gobbled around our dead brethren yeah and then i was like shit i'm late for the podcast because eli called me so i was like you shoot me in the face he's like what show me and then he shot me and that was it nice god i've had some of the most wholesome interactions with voip on and some of the most worst worst i guarantee's... I've ran into more kind people than anything, though. I'll come up to people and they'll be like, hey, I killed a bunch of these dudes and I got all these guns.

Do you want some? I'll be like, yeah, yeah, for sure, bro. And I do the same thing to people now when I run into player scavs. I'm like, hey, dude, I just killed this guy. I got a bunch of guns and stuff. I need to play Tarkov again. Damn it! Dude, VoIP is so fun now.

Isn't this the same game where somebody just like walked up and shot John in the face? Yeah, shot my son in the face. Did you shoot yours in the face? No. Oh, God. It was on reserve, the hermetic door extract. You know how people hide in that cubby hole? In the back corner, yeah.

Yeah, someone was hiding there, and I went by, and me and John had been on there for probably 45 minutes. Like the whole raid. The whole raid. I was showing him around. I was showing him where all the good loot is and then yeah this fucking rat shoots John in the Face as we're coming through and I'm like you fuck and I turn around I kill this guy and you avenged your son I've been to my son Murder you but like when we say kind we mean they're not saying terrible horrible racist awful words to us Yeah, they're not dropping in bombs the man

John in the face Don't it watch John die and then donut was like Braveheart you yelled freedom. Yeah watching your dead son Lion King instead of Scar throwing Mufasa off, Simba was thrown into the wilderness and Mufasa avenged him. Yeah. Okay. What's better than a well-marbled ribeye sizzling on the barbecue? A well-marbled ribeye sizzling on the barbecue that was carefully selected by an Instacart shopper and delivered to your door. A well-marbled ribeye you ordered without even leaving the

kiddie pool. Whatever groceries your summer calls for, Instacart has you covered. Download the Instacart app and enjoy $0 delivery fees on your first three orders. Service fees, exclusions, and terms apply. Instacart,. I'd watch that movie. It's just complete change on Disney. It's like, this is how we do this now. I love VoIP. Like, that's what I loved about. I like death cam screams on. God.

God. When you kill someone, you got like that five second block. Oh, they get mad. Now that I wear the Levi attack on Titan. Now if we do like that, it's a one of those anime nerds. Bro, they use other words they did levi dirty oh yeah he looks like a dad cosplaying he looks stupid they messed eli up or um levi up they have like they actually brought an attack on titan character they're like

we're gonna wear yeah it looks like a dad doing a walmart cosplay of levi like levi's hair color is it's black it's light brown in this but it's black in the anime because they're they from Japan I was so pissed but I still use that skin he just he's like really like lanky and creepy I always feel like a nerd until I hang

out with any of you and then I'm like oh yeah it was like I watch me play donkey donkey favorite D&D class I don't know what the fuck you just said to me What video games it was like Super Nintendo predominantly. So like Super Mario, Donkey Kong, Mortal Kombat, Street Fighter in there, Primal Rage. I had like all the Primal Rage action figure toys, whatever action figures.

Dolls? Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. So I still collect those. I actually just finished that collection like last month. I had a fan send me my last one that I needed. Tromper got one for you that I still, I told you i need to give to you the orange one oh the um not sauron right no he was i forget he was in lord of the rings he's right

he's right that like megaman x, Mario Paint, stuff like that. And you still have all of those. All those minus. With your childhood Super Nintendo. Minus, yeah. I have my OG, like the one I hooked up in 96 and stopped playing. You're like, I play all these awesome games in Mario Paint. How much fun can you have on that with that shitty controller?

I know, with the little mouse. I just have such vivid memories of my childhood of the fly swatter and stuff. I don't know why it just always stuck with me. Trauma. Trauma. It was the escape from trauma. That was my escape. That's it.

There it is. There it is. That's what blocked it. Yeah, that's what blocked out everything around me. I'm like, oh, Mario painting. Mom, look what I made. Honey, what is that? That's my life.

It's called depression. You've been playing it on stream. I saw you playing Donkey Kong on stream a couple weeks ago, and you were really good at Donkey Kong. She's really good at fucking those old. Yeah. I need to show you the drunk video of her. It's fucking ludicrous.

Which one? You're just a drunk piece of shit playing Donkey Kong yelling at Donkey Kong. Oh was this when we were roommates Yeah, I haven't seen this so you and I used to be roommates. We lived at unicorn unicorn ranch Yeah, it was you two and then Matt best Unicorn ranch yeah, we all cycle cycled. We were all roommates. Me, Matt, Jared, Eli, everybody. We were all roommates at one point or another. And we'd all just sit there and drink and play video games and make content. And it was just like a giant content house.

But she would get drunk and play Donkey Kong. And you'd just hear Cat 5. You've seen Drunk Drunk Heather. Yeah. It's like that. Now imagine that trying to conquer a video game. Was I bad? I don't remember.

I mean, I'm sure. Was I bad? I don't remember. Well. I don't know. I remember. I don't know. I don't know what we could talk about in this podcast.

Whatever you want. I remember just getting violently high after we got the air bolts. And I was like watching that nature documentary. And I was like sobbing. And I was like, the baby bird is dead. I forgot about that. Heather's just like dying. She's like.

And this baby bird. It's a mom bird. Like a bird came in, killed it, ate the baby yolk, and like flew off. And then the mama bird lands. And it's just like stepping like a bird came in killed it ate the baby yolk and like flew off and then the mama bird lands and it's just like stepping in baby guts it's like oh i gotta warm my baby up and you see its little feet going like this it's like dancing yeah in the yolk you just see like baby guts baby bird guts just like and the mom bird's like man something's wrong i will sit down i'm gonna and she's like the mom birds like hey something's wrong. I'll sit down. I'm gonna Like no, that's because it's a fucking bird oh, God. Ugly crying over a bird.

Over a documentary. Like a fucking nation. Nice. Oh, planet Earth. Delta 8. It's just not having a good time. Oh, right, yeah. Oh, I forgot about that.

That was fucking hilarious. It went so hard, it threw my neck out. I remember, because you kept laughing at my tears. Yeah, I was like that was fucking so weird through my neck out. I remember cuz you kept laughing at my tears Because you kept laughing at my tears Heather Maybe A little gift that says Scribes it should be like trauma Somebody needs to make me a trauma emote. I actually I got emotes for my thing. I got like what are you doing? What is this? My son does them She's wiggling her fingers

You could have a trauma button on your stream death, so you press it and it's like Okay, look at my trauma button. It says autism Thankfully no one listens to this podcast. I can't wait to work boot off Spotify. God, what's our superhero team? I could live with... Someone came up with the best name ever. The Offenders.

The Offenders. Yeah, we're the Offenders. Instead of like the Avengers or... It's so good. The Offenders. Did you tell her about like Donut's power? What I made his superpower? He can fly, but he has uncontrollable Tourette's

with racial words. Yeah, I heard about that. So you're like, oh. It's just like Donut Burnett House surrounded by minorities. I'm going to just walk these people out real quick. Set them down. Walk them down.

Set them down. It's like, Donut, you can fly! I can! I could! It's so cool! I can't show any of you my balance! I start to fly and they- oh shit, their kid's back in the fire. Earmuffs, earmuffs.

Yeah, everyone go like this. I wanna save you, but... I got what's important! There's cameras here! Oh no. Twitter hates me. What was mine? Like super strength, but I cum anytime I like lift something heavy.

It's like. What would Heather's be? You can get any superpower, but. If I could be anything, I would want to be like a human cadaver dog. A what? What the fuck? This isn't the Animorphs. You picked the worst fucking super power.

I want to be a dead animal. Heather's a furry. No, no, no. That's the name of the podcast. Heather's a furry. Oh, what? Like I could look- What the fu- This isn't the Animorphs! You picked the worst fucking super- I wanna be able to- I wanna be a dead animal! No, no, no, no! Heather's a furry! That's the name of the podcast! Heather's a furry! Yeah, a cadaver dog is a dead body. No, it's not.

A cadaver dog searches out dead bodies. I would wanna be able to find dead things. But you have to get blackout drunk to do that. I mean, that's okay. What- That's normal! AHH! She does that already!

I get drunk and I wander the woods anyway. Yeah, you describe me in like... What's your superpower? I can fly with racial slurs. I can lift stuff. I cum a lot. I go super fast. I shit everywhere when I do.

I can smell dead things. Brown streak. She's not on the offenders because she has the shit. Well, she has a shit Furry just a dress like a furry like a dog. I don't like this already. Oh my god. She she's a furry That's the best. That's the bad part. Mine is the worst one. Yeah, I would rather shit all over myself Consistently She just grows Welcome to the super guys She grows a long snout Whatever we're called She's a fursona Yeah she gets like a A human dog

You turn in like Half human half dog When you have your Your super power Not like the cute ones You see in hentai This is unlocking New kinks for people

And I don't like it I hate your super power I hate That's not even a super That's just a shitty power I can smell dead people It's like You can't save anyone.

I'll shoot spaghetti out my fingertips. No, it's not. It's like solving crimes that would have been lost forever. We're all saving lives. How? Don't worry if I'm your dead kid. Have you ever been in the swamps, which I have tons, where you're just on an airboat and you're going to the swamps and you're like, I wonder how many dead bodies are down

here. Or I go deep sea fishing sometimes and I wonder how many people have concrete shoes down there. Somebody was just shoved off a boat, catched to a concrete block and they're dead at the bottom of the ocean. You could find their bodies and bring peace to their families. Or you could harvest their skulls. Don't blink twice if you're okay. We're over here trying to save lives and Heather's like I'll help you find your dead family She's like think of how many crimes

I can save You found body The crime's not unfolding It brings peace to the family Lady look I found your son Oh he died I can only find dead people He's bloated he was in the river for about two weeks

He doesn't smell the best. Closure. Closure. We touched him and he exploded. I just see, all I can picture is like a neon blue fursuit dog person with a shirt that just says, like a red shirt, it says closure. That's what it says. She has that. It says closure.

She's a dog. It's just a girl in a furry suit. Closure. I can smell your dead family. She walks around, a service animal on this side. Closure right here. A handle on her back. Cody can carry her and fly around yelling Rachel.

She just blows her shit about furries the whole time. The perfect team. We solved another crime. Every time she shows up to a scene, everyone's like, oh, oh, God. It's like, wait, wait, who died? It's a bad news bear over here. Heather shows up. Somebody's dead.

All the moms start crying when Heather shows up. Everyone has like a cool landing pose. You land like this way. She runs on all the floors. She's like hot. And I'm like, I hate this so much. The weird titan on Attack on Titan. The weird one that rides and carries things on its back.

The cart titan? Yeah, yeah. You're the cart titan. You just see Heather jump into the river and then come flipping out with a body. Found it!

Now she's a dolphin? What is the dolphin? I'm envisioning. She's a fur. Yeah. I like that. Another crime solved. We have terrible word Tourette's.

We have shitting everywhere. I'm coming uncontrollably. And Heather's a furry. Like, super guys. With our powers combined. We're canceled. Again. Oh, no.

Oh, my God. That's it. The name of this episode is Heather's a furry. Like, that's it. I'm sorry, but. Oh, God. That one, I The name of this episode is Heather's a furry. That's it. I'm sorry. Oh god. That one, I mean, that's actually not a bad clickbait title. I like it.

We can get Heather's face in like a fur suit. Just her face right like squished into it. Oh, I thought it was going to be my tits. Next year. Oh, that's also going in the thumbnail. A furry with tits. That's fine. We'll figure it out.

Don't worry about it. We got this. Fluck. Thanks, Fluck, again. Sorry. Welcome to unsubscribe. We can't say gamer words back. Do you like this table?

Do you have a bottle opener? I never know what Batty's like. I was gonna... We can't say gamer words back I never know what baddies like Fuck real whiting that part real slow. Don't you fucking chew cans off with your teeth? Yeah, I know I just know that's like's like I imagine him breaking his teeth You have like 30 something teeth right Like what's a molar Oh god I've never done that on a podcast No I hate it all I hate it It's my party trick

Heather just started You started streaming Doing different stuff Phasmophobia is terrifying. Wait, where do you stream, though? What's your? Oh, it's Heatherlyn O on Twitch. Spell it for me.

H-E-A-T-H-E-R-L-Y-N-N-O-H. Holy fuck. She spells way better than all of us. I'm illiterate. Super guys. So, phasmophobia is terrifying, but I played a game with Caleb Francis two nights ago. Oh, my God. I've seen that game.

What was it called? I've seen that game. Who's Your Daddy? It's so good. You have to be the baby. Can you say it again? Okay, so Who's Your Daddy is the baby. Say Daddy, but slower.

Daddy. But say Who's Your Daddy and look into Donut's eyes. No. Batty's slowly leaning. Batty's just like, I want this moment, too. your local benjamin moore retailer is more than a paint expert there's someone with paint in their soul a sixth sense honed over decades and if you have a question about paint it's almost as if they can read your mind i sense you need a twoinch angle brush for the trim in your family room. Regal selected an eggshell finish

and directions to the post office. Benjamin Moore paint is only sold at locally owned stores. Benjamin Moore, see the love. I didn't think she said Patty for a minute. I was very confused. Okay, so she's talking and everything. No, it's fucking hilarious.

The premise of the game is that you are a baby who has to kill itself and you're the dad. There's another character who's the dad who has to try to stop the baby from killing himself and you can take turns. And you can put yourself in a blender. You can run yourself over with a lawnmower. You can poison yourself. You can drink

bleach. You can eat glass. Caleb, I was almost literally pissing on myself because he was like, oh, we're going to hell. And he's just dousing everything in gasoline and lighting it. Was he a baby? Yeah, just starting a garage fire. Caleb shouldn't ever be allowed to be a baby.

Oh, my God. Look at all this fire. We're going to hell. And as it turns out, I didn't win a single round as the father. I won as a baby. It turns out I'm better at killing myself than I am at keeping anything alive. But.

Who would have thought? Prize. You're trying to like lock up, like you're trying to take stuff out of baby's reach. So you're like tossing it up. Like the baby will grab a fork and just beeline to the electric socket. And you're like, you grab the fork.

It's so funny when it sprints to Sometimes you can but like you have to find the baby and you can I can hear him like I can hear him like What am I doing now? Where am I? How do I do? And I'm like, where the fuck is he? Where are you, you little shit? He was like, you can't find me.

Found some bleach. I'm going to drink it. I can picture. It's so good. Caleb is just really. He's Caleb. Yeah, he has a better knowledge of like the PC gaming

which I'm not used to yet so I'm still getting the hang of that the keyboards are hard I was like you motherfucker I was like you've downloaded like you've played this before

and he's like no I swear and yet he's like putting gas in the generator he's like lighting fires and I'm like how do you know how to do this I've never played this before player loads in on

cod diamond skin yeah what is this game he's like riding he's riding the dog as the baby across the lawn I'm like how the fuck Play this before player loads in on cod diamond He's riding the dog as the baby across Did you do that you can ride the dog There's a push motor and a ride riding mower Yeah, he was on the push mower, and he was spinning his mouse around and this little baby's just flailing around holding on He's like you can't get me you can't get me it's like all an ass across the yard Around and this little baby's just flailing around holding on to the push motor It's so good dude He's like you can't get me you can't get me

He's just like hauling ass across the yard I'm gonna have to like cut together a video of that The game is a little glitchy it froze on me like twice in two hours, but like it's fucking fun See that's an indie game. That's like it's like goat or a goat asshole goose What's that? Have you seen ass was a goose The goose game Where you're It's called Is it just called Goose game?

No it's I thought it was Called something else Yeah you're just a goose Isn't it just called The goose game? You literally are Like your objective

Is to be a fucking Douche bag goose Like a real goose And you have to Grab shit And it's like Do this So it's like

Grab a rake From someone's yard And you drag it out away from him. Oh, Untitled Goose Game is the name of it. Oh, there you go. It's called Untitled Goose Game. It did so good, though. These are assholes. Oh, yeah.

That's why it was made. It's a great one. God, see, indie games. Yeah. That was like the funnest thing I've ever played. Out of anything, any game I've ever played, that was the most fun i've had because it was so ridiculous like even stuff like the scary games like how you have me played slenderman or phasmophobia as much as i love shit like that because people get good reactions out of you i'm like on edge the whole time and i can't fully enjoy it because i'm like something's going to

jump like you're ready to fucking sprint out of the room as fast as you can it's fucking terrifying like i've you know it'd be a happy medium a good game would be like with this crew and you add a couple more like Caleb and is The red guy red blue the line among us among us would be amazing with this crew try that once with Matt and he hated it No, I hate it. Oh you You fucking hate it John was telling me about that John loves it. Yeah, I'm plays it on his cell phone. I love among us I'm just also a piece of shit though. I'll pick one person in every chance I get whether I'm the the the What the fuck's it called the bad guy assassin or the the resistance fighter? Yeah, the monster

Fucking word sus the sus Whether I'm a good guy or bad Yeah, I will pick one person the entire game and I'll blame them or I'll kill them at first I'll just sprint after somebody in The best thing to do is when you all spawn in you all have to do the very first task where every jumbles up I'll kill somebody in that group every time Somebody died here You all have to do the very first task where every jumbles up. I'll kill somebody in that group every time Everyone's doing the test nobody's attention. There's a so there's an imposter imposter. That's it. It's a

The person that's never played it Everybody else is like you you're all lying to each other and you have to fit if you're the imposter you know that you're yeah you know there's usually two imposters and you know who you two are and everyone's trying to figure out who okay so you're just lying playing with people or just being a sneaky little snake sneaky little snake i always thought that i hated not like hated gaming because i grew up playing games i always thought that i hated like modern gaming because i never got into like the first personperson shooters It's just not my jam. No everybody talks about Tarkov, and I'm like I have no desire to play that It's just like not for certain games, which is not for everybody Yeah, that's one thing fucking sucks if somebody doesn't like a game

It's like that game is trash, and they just fucking hey you just gotta know like not everything's free Yeah, not everybody likes the same shit racing games you guys aren't gonna like racing games yeah like I'm not gonna be like you just gotta try them like first person shooters MMOs you usually JRPGs

or RPGs you have your branch that you stick to usually solo player multiplayer gaming retro gaming killing babies that too my favorite past time Solo player, multiplayer. Retro gaming. Retro gaming. Killing babies. That too. Yeah. And naughty.

Killing babies. Yeah. My favorite pastime. Yeah. And then she also likes the video games of that. What? Right? Killing bait.

Right. Yeah. And okay. Yeah. That's what I thought. In real life. And. Yeah. Patty, hand me a white.

No, I always felt like. Other one. That. Yeah. No. Oh. Ah. Sorry, I needed this. I couldn't tell which sound was the one. Okay, I see.

Yeah. It's like you don't even know Eli. No, I know. You don't even know his good and bad sounds? I don't. Oh, I do. I don't know his sounds. I do.

Intimately? So killing babies Back to killing babies I don't know how many times I've taken her to Planned Parenthood Not true Let's not put that on the internet That's not true Definitely not true

Start the episode with that, Fluck That will be the intro Family Dangerous game it doubles as a road trip. We just go to Arizona We live in Texas, so you know Can we go back to autism We haven't pissed off pro-life people yet You gotta check all the boxes

Nobody is safe We hate everyone Not equally I definitely hate some people more We're pretty good We're dialing it in It's mostly short people The Jesus superpowers That was mostly short people the Jesus superpowers

Yeah, that was a whole episode about Jesus We thought about Jesus being a shitty superhero for like 45 minutes not as bad as your superpowers like at least he like Before a furry yeah i gotta sniff him though yeah she's been there for 30 minutes oh god you just hear meat canyon's voice when she's why is she harvesting it's my thing

floating around oh you were in that lake for a long time aren't you there's the good stuff you're a bloated boy who's my bloated God damn it. Oh, you were in that lake for a long time, weren't you? There's the good stuff. Oh, you're a bloated little boy. Who's my bloated little boy? Who's my bloated? Guys, one second.

I'm figuring clues out. Yeah. Fucking yeah. I got such a raging clue right now. Wow, Hardy Boys. Is that what they call themselves? Yeah, the Hardy Boys. I that what they call them? Yeah, the Hardy Boys. I got such a raging clue.

I got such a raging clue. That's very uncomfortable. Yeah, for us too, Heather. You furry. I didn't go into a fucking five minute dialogue. I'm starting that rumor. Heather's a furry. I'm telling everyone Heather's a furry now.

It's too late. It's over. This is it. Back to the gaming thing. I never enjoyed playing Mario Kart so racing games were just out for me racing never got drunk and played Mario Kart I hated it Mario Kart even drunk I always hated it I just hated it Mario Kart's a like it's a racing year but the drinking version of that where you're driving yeah you can't touch a controller just drunk driving in real life?

Superpowers. That's her other one. Drunk driving. Just kidding. Offenders go. I'm kidding. I'm just going to start saying shit just to see. She's the world's greatest detective, but she has to drive to crime scenes drunk. She's like, I know how to solve this.

The second she gets in a car, she's just drunk. Grab the beer bottle and the liquor. But she is hands down the world's best detective. Hammer drunk. All right, we got to stop at Taco Bell on the way. Now be ready to go. I'll be able to find this dead kid. I wanted a Taco Bell after this so bad.

Let's check off offending mothers against drunk driving. Did you guys hear? This is gonna be the next sponsor for the podcast. Taco Bell? No. Baja Blast. I almost said Baja Blast. Bitch! Mountain Dew's coming out with boozy Baja Blast.

That's a thing. It's in a can. Baja Blast. Bitch! I almost fucking said it. Mountain Dew's coming out with boozy Baja Blast. Yep. That's a thing. It's in a can. Baja Blast with alcohol. Are they added booze in it? It's boozy Baja Blast. Daddy, when's the last time do you think I had Mountain Dew? Oh, wow. So I did three days ago.

So I'm going to say it was probably longer than three days. It's probably been like 15 years. A decade? Yeah, yeah. At minimum. You ever gotten like Mountain Dew, a little drunk drunk and gotten a little Baja Blast? Baja Blast is not now. A little Taco Bell action?

Got a little boozy? I'll have a Baja Blast like once every three years. I heard they engineered it to like go with Taco Bell. Three years? Did they? That was told. Yeah, three. I don't even count how many times I've had Baja Blast in the last three years.

Because every time I go to Taco Bell, I get like the biggest cup of B of Baja blast like if I could bottle that shit up and snort it later I would my shits cheesy gritty to crunch. What do you get? Oh? Straight up good. Yeah, good. I'm a crunch wrap supreme or or The steak yeah Steak from Taco Bell Look at me. I feel like Took a two-week break from Taco Bell before I went back after after horrendous food boys I know we had food poison from Taco Bell. I think it was the KFC like two months ago. Was it two months ago? My sense of humor is skewed. We were in Charleston.

Yeah, I was right after you guys. I got super sick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why do fintechs like Float choose Visa? As a more trusted, more secure payments network, Visa provides scale, expertise, and innovative payment solutions. Learn more at Visa.ca slash fintech. I'm scared I don't try Taco Bell.

Okay, dude. And we did it two nights ago. What, you Mexican? You eat like legit? Oh, wow. Yeah. slash fintech. Don't you eat like authentic legit Mexican food and not like trash. Yeah, exactly. Thank you. What do you want? Superpowers going on podcast and say racial slurs. Heather Lynn, aren't you Mexican? Why would I like Taco Bell?

Why would you like the American version of it? It was like America tries. Eli, you cleaning product. You shut up. I'm like, whoa, calm down. I'm so hungry right now. I just want Taco Bell. Cody got that joke. I got it too.

I didn't hear it. I was getting tired of that. We've been friends, Eli. It's been at least a decade. Batty's like, huh? I'm sweating from the Taco Bell. I just want it. It's like fantasy lore for me. It's been at least a decade. Batty's like, huh? I'm sweating from the Taco Bell. I just want it. It's like fantasy lore for me.

It's like, phew. Yeah. Say your racial slur. Bro, the PTS moment you had. Bro. The PTS donut. I have no idea what that was. That's right.

We were talking about last on last podcast. And we're like, you did this. I thought he did it on purpose. He didn't, apparently. No, no. I don't know why. Yeah. never do that on purpose i don't i don't know i guess i just zoned out dude fluck will you play that clip right here so everyone can see the vietnam clip yeah the vietnam go to the same well to drink he went to the wheel of time well and ingested every drop of water and then wrote his own books.

It's the same looking for that chosen child. Like it's. And then the, like the women being the power carriers. Yep. The way. You just disassociated. He was gone. I was listening to his conversation, too, and I just fucking PTS.

That thousand-yard stare was rude. Just the Inception sound in the back of Donut's head. The top was spinning. Nobody was fucking there to stop it, man. We have Tim Kennedy on the podcast. And Don is like... He was in this sentence, too. We're talking about the wheel of time. Like fantasy hardcore shit.

And Don's like... Floating. That man was gone. Are we in this chaos? I'm fucking disassociated with reality. I don't know, dude. If I remember what was in my head I'd tell you I have no idea I just fucking it was so good I came back though it's just like that for five seconds I don't know where I went it happens a few times throughout the podcast series yeah you know like John points that out

to me too sometimes I'll just get like a thought in my head and run with it. I do the same. Okay, that's your moment. It's like when Eli and everyone's like, hey, guys, Eli, what do you think about these cameras? And Eli's just like. Literally. And he starts just silent. His eyes are just.

As he's playing the film out in his head. Three years later, look at how it did on the internet he's like no we can't do that this is your moment this is get up in your head I shit when I do that it's just like for a moment you just black out when you shit I gotta poop Lori opens the door, he's like

No, Laurie! You can have the most insane, like, smart... ...Baddie is happening again! He just comes to, he's like, Laurie's just crying in the corner. He just comes to Who's your daddy game you can literally eat shit to a point of where you're like spinning around You eat glass and like wood until you shit and the baby turns purple like more purple green now As it's dying yeah, I hate green babies Maybe it's dead baby. You hate. I hate him. He likes a lot under the snow and turns blue

Gotta hate living in Vermont like the north fuck snow. It's no stupid. No, I fucking hate kills babies watch out Thank you fucking Dr. Batty Yeah web MD my baby got cold can it die bad you pops up yes Stein over here When they're mr.. Ballin story, we're a fucking like five-year-old got five miles away from home snow It was like 25 miles or yeah, it was like 25 miles away and they 1950s or something and they were found like completely unharmed like there was a little girl during this snowstorm I think was like yeah there was feasible snow.

I used to wander miles as a kid. It was like five degrees. There was no feasible way that this child should be alive. And they couldn't remember how they got there. It was a blizzard snow out. So they can't even see. They just walk. It was like an ungodly amount.

That's fucking four months out of the year in Vermont. Weren't there like no tracks or something? It was so bizarre. It was like something like almost like it teleported or something. Yeah, like the baby teleported 20 miles away. Whether it was a boy or a girl, I can't remember, but they're still alive today, and they're like, I have no recollection.

They're like, I have no recollection. Yeah, it was like a school, because school didn't happen, or they let out early, so the child walked on. They were playing at the barn. Oh, yes. They were playing at a barn. I remember that story. Mr. Ballin is good in the chair.

He does sometimes go on these tangents where he's like, all right, now if you guys don't know what asthma is, it's where you have a breathing issue and then you can't breathe. And I'm like, okay. One time he explained what bungee jumping was, and I'm not even like sliding him because he knows every time I walk in, I'm listening to Mr. Ballin. But sometimes he's explaining what bungee jumping is,

and I'm very confused. Because I'm like, this bitch is cheating on me again. If anyone do you think is going to mr. Ballin do it if she leaves you will be for mr. Ballin for mr. No, it'll be for Henry Henry Cavill's doesn't think the gauge is attractive. What the fuck I like funny people Take that mic Fucking sorry. We are so sorry for this guest today. We're sorry, Big H. Get the fuck out of here!

Oh my god! I'm not, I just don't, like, objectively, I don't find him, like, I'm not physically... One in the comments of Heather Lynn sucks. I got nothing past that. Heather Lynn sucks. Fuck the one. Hey, Chad, you guys will just agree with... I hope I hope Henry Cavill does just a five second segment on his Instagram is just like I don't find Heather Lynn attractive and that's it you're so mean don't not Heather defend Henry I put up with You

Jesus go sniff dead bodies. That's your celebrity crush, okay? Yes, absolutely. It's all of our celebrity crush. He's a super nerd. He's our boy, big age. A mega nerd. He's our boy. Besties, all of us. I bet he's got a fat cock.

Dude, he's Superman. I'm going to get one of those. Who? Yourself? Congrats. Yeah. Tell me you hate Henry again. Tell me. I never used the word hate.

I said I wouldn't fuck him. I don't know him. He's charming? He might not be funny. I don't know him. Did you see that time he was in The Witcher? Okay, I've never know him. I don't know if... I don't... He's charming? He might not be funny. I don't know him. Did you see that time he was in The Witcher? Okay, I've never seen that, so... Donut! I know.

It's supposed to be the Eli Cody Brandon show, but now we might do the baddie Brandon. Sorry. Fake Brandon. I'm right here! I know Brandon numberdie. Brandon. Sorry. Fake Brandon. I'm right here. I know Brandon number two. Wait a minute. I'm not going to be Mexican. I'm a ginger.

We can't have two Mexicans on one podcast. The next intro, I'm Brandon. Bringing this guest on. Why would you bring her here? Nobody wants to watch a double Mexican podcast. That's hate speaking or him flying. Yeah. That's Donut just flying around.

Can we have a gift of just Donut like this? You've taken his job away from him. I just want Donut T-pose around our heads and it's your voice saying, no one wants a two Mexican podcast. As he's flying around. This she devil has sowed

hate between us. My brothers. This is why we said no girls. Gaming guys and gats. Because I can't say the other words. I'm not even going to say what I was going to say. And cum. Oh my god, that's a late Because I can't say the other word. I'm not even going to say what I was going to say. And cum. And cum.

And cum. Oh, my God. That's a late cum. That's a really late cum. Oh, my God. It's been 50, 40 minutes. 50 minutes. 50 minutes without a C word?

I was telling you about cum. Yeah, I didn't know about cum. Wait, you tell her about cum sometimes? You told me about cum yesterday. He was like, I talk about cum. And I was like, what? Yeah, it's Henry Cavill. Excuse me.

Paul, like. Those are our biggest topics, Henry Cavill Cavill. Paul McComb. Those are our biggest topics, Henry Cavill and McComb. Okay, cool. H and Jizz. Yeah. And gaming sometimes. Sometimes.

Sometimes we get crazy and talk about video games. Is it predominantly like a gaming podcast? What do you list yourself as? Gaming podcast. Yeah. Will you hold up that mug? Hold up the mug. Yeah. Towards the camera.

Yeah, they're perfect. Oh, gamer words. Am I right? That's not a gamer word. I know. Nobody knows. Oh, nobody can see the... Oh, sorry.

If you're listening, fuck you. We have what? Okay, so... Ah! Rewind. We were talking about... What the fuck was that? That was... so rewind we were talking about that was his thinking noise yeah that was my I do an autistic screech every time I have this idea

Eli what do you think of this idea no it doesn't work what we need to do what's he doing it's just Eli What we need to do It's like, oh, he doesn't like it. Matt and Evan don't flinch. They're just like, no, dude. Next slide. There's one new guy who's like.

He's just looking around. Nobody's reacting. He's just like. He just sorts his papers. The detective. Can that be a skit? I know. Can we just, he's like, he doesn't even need the autistic screech.

He can just be a screech. Just be the weird guy in the group that's really good at something. Oh, yeah. And then that's like, what the fuck? Ha, ha, what the fuck was that? He's got the new guy tag. What the fuck is wrong with my body? The intern shits himself? Ha, ha, what the fuck was that? He's got the new guy tag. What the fuck is that? The intern shits himself. No, no, it's okay.

He's good at the cameras. It's fine. We allow it. I'm a goat. Anytime you're good at something, that's what you do. Oh, God. I was like, what's that thing with Eli? Well, I mean, I know he's Mexican, but calm down.

Just calm down. He's from Southern Texas. Say the M word here. Eli drives a car insane. That's what I do the entire time racing. Just screaming. I need you to play Targum with me.

We need to do a gunfight. He killed everyone. You just hear the screams slowly fading away. Dude, cause that's why it's so co- Are coming towards you. AHHHHHH! I just figured out- AHHHHHH!

He doesn't even shoot, just runs by. AHHHHHH! Not wearing anything. Just sprinting. I don't know, he just does all the stims and runs. It's like cocktail. Oh my god. It's fucking stims. Sex lightning, we call it. Oh yeah, sex lightning. Holy shit, I forgot about that. I don't know he just does all the stems and runs Sex lightning oh yeah, sex lightning holy shit. I forgot about that So in Tarkov you can take drugs that make you all like some will just make you like not bleed as much some will make It so you can run faster. I found a special cocktail like the 14 different drugs you die

Yeah, it kills you. But you got like 90 seconds where you hear the flash. It's like Viagra. You know, you're great and then you die. Or you have to go to the hospital. It's just like everything's a blur. Discover the exciting action of BetMGM Casino. Check out a wide variety of table games with a live dealer Learn. Please gamble responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connex Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. Then MGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario.

See everything. It's like 90 seconds of just unstoppable speed. Then there's like 30 seconds. Oh, it's like the Mario star. Yeah. You're not invincible. You think you are. Oh, okay.

Gotcha. Heroin. It's Mario Star. But not. But not. It's actually a good skit. It's like Mario gets to start. He's like, oh, here we go. Da, da, da.

Dead. Just explodes. It's horrible. It's the EMTs living up. Nope. He thought he was invincible. He thought he was Invincible Big oof

Sorry Come on Eli if you die in the podcast our views will skyrocket No it won't we'll get banned Just cut out when I die You just blur it We made a living we're good You can die on YouTube I know it won't we'll get banned Just cut out when I die Yeah, the world's greatest detective over here More than likely just saw sawing the head off. Yeah for what no power tools. I'll just go grab your blood

School to my collection Do you have a human skull yet? Yeah, my friend. I have a dice like a D&D like yeah RPG It's made of human bone. That's fucking cool. It's super cool. Yeah Oh, yeah, I think Laura has a severed human head like she keeps by her bed. Okay when you say severed is it the skull? It's a skull. I shouldn't say severed human head. Because those are very different things. If the motherfucker's looking at me and I can see his retinas we got no- Is she formaldehyde? Jar. It's in a jar still. No, okay, no, there's like a human skull. She's running from the police. And then she has like a- no. Jar jar

Oh Pokemon Heather you're actually a huge Pokemon fan. I was looking at you sure I was like, you know When I was a child, let me show you a picture right now, I'm gonna find it is this like Going up on the screen for everybody to see I'm going to I'm gonna keep talking I'm gonna find it right now I know this is your story, so I can't keep talking. See, what I'm doing is installing. So if you could... When I found out how much that Pokemon cards are worth now, I wanted to shit and vomit at the same time because I had all of the things. Like me today.

Yeah. I had all of the things. I had an entire binder of like... The rustic. Like, I had an entire binder full of shit that was stolen from me. And I... Stolen? Stolen. Stolen when I was a child. Who stole them? like I had an entire binder full of shit that was stolen from me and I stolen stolen stolen stolen probably one of my brothers or something where do your

brothers live yeah we should go kill them I mean I don't know about kill but like take your Pokemon cards back they probably sold them a long time ago but like I had it makes me sick thinking about how much money that I would have had yeah same thanks dad it was yeah That Pokemon shirt very similar I believe I can show you Winning yeah, I had this shirt since I was six years old And I cut it into like a crop top when I was an old like when I was like 18 I was like fuck it cuz I still love Pokemon, so I'm gonna cut this

And I still I still have it in my shit right now I feel like that's something that connects a lot of us is that we all had like holographic Charizard's when we were little and now We can't we just they're just not there I had like several of them. I gave mine. I gave mine to a poor kid that couldn't afford Pokemon go Jesus Christ I had a whole binder full of holographic. That's why you don't help the homeless. Yeah, that's why Don't ever help poor people That's something I said I'm flying around Don't help the poor it is

This is definitely Heather what is on your face though? No What's the red lines Maybe what do you don't know did you or did you know how braces Heather? No, he's asking what the lines on my face are I don't know. Who's that? I was a little chunky I was a Temporary tattoo on my arm. That's a that's a sticker Or I was pretending it was a temporary tattoo. I don't know that's me when I was seven cool shirt

It's very similar remotely the same chonker it just it says the fucking word i was a chunky kid with braces and i liked pokemon and it's like heather what was your so okay okay when you say you like poke you like pokemon what are we talking i liked it i liked watching the show i like the characters that collected the cards can you name the first nine pokemon for me i cannot what yeah Yeah, you can. Think about it. Jigglypuff? No, first nine. The core,

when you think of Pokemon, you have the flame, the plant, and the water. The starters, Heather! Oh, starters. The water. Just the three. The three that you can start with. There we go. Three. Pikachu? oh my god

Henry Cavill and hates Pokemon Anyways, I don't know I haven't I haven't watched or ball be the ball be there's fire grass and water Bowl be Bulbasaur okay, and then he goes into I can't remember it grows on the side of buildings It's kind of like a vine. But it starts with an I. Oh, Ivy? I don't remember.

Dude, I have not fucked with this shit since I was like seven, eight years old. And then he turns into... We're going back in my memory 25 years. And then you got the water. Water. He's a turtle. Squirtle. Boom.

That's what Donut calls you. And then we have... That's weird because that's what he called me. This is what he calls everyone. And then fire. Fire one. Oh, Charmander. Boom.

See? Yeah, huge Pokemon nerd huge When have I ever like it's like Heather black rifle coffee content producer twitch affiliate and Pokemon nerd it's not my bio cuz I don't Literally said that I collect how it started was that i said i was gonna be sick thinking about all the money that i could have had if i still had those cards and then i said i used to watch the show when i was a child when i was a seven year

eight year old child and that i always collected the cards but i never played the fucking game so no i'm not a huge pokemon what was the first pokemon ash ever caught that he caught what was it wait this the bird it's sparrow The first one he ever that hot Cuz he was given Pikachu with this yeah, he was given I want to ash ever caught no he left sparrow. He just fucking ditched that one. What was the first one? I'm thinking it was a Weedle. I was never a tato was it

You know fucking idiots I hate you both. Ohata, was it? You're both fucking idiots. I hate you both. What is it? Sorry I didn't watch this shitty anime. Sorry you're gatekeeping Pokemon over there. Yeah, sorry.

It wasn't Trainer Red. I am! Absolutely! Trainer Red is the true OG. No, we're talking about Pokemon! I don't watch that shitty anime! It's a goddamn Caterpie. What the fuck is wrong with you two?

I said Caterpie! You said Weedle. Oh, Weedle oh weedle yep never mind why would you catch that because it turned into his buttery fucks dude yeah still remember the episode bye-bye butterfree bug the moment that made every child cry when ash released his butterfree into the wild to go be with the shiny female butterfree i remember didn't he just leave his sparrow and said i'd be back for you and just fucking bounced not at all He never caught a sparrow at all. I swear he's not gonna be not in the injury when he was attacked by sparrow I feel before he saw

Fly over before hose Don't fuck with me right now. You see my pts moments Associated for like you have to listen. This is why you have shitty superpowers We have furry on the podcast today, sorry everyone I hate this for me. We do too This fucking sucks and I hate it Oh, so what we even go what? No I was going to say how many podcasts have you done This one I did

Maybe three others Really? I don't have my own obviously So whenever people ask me to do it It's either yes or no Weird those are the two options Yeah no Yes or no, and I don't go. Weird. Those are the two options. Yeah. No. I get you right in the mouth.

Oh, give me the pee pee. That cat does not like being carried. No, I've only ever done like a few other podcasts just because I don't, I don't know. Podcasts are weird. I will say back in the, way back in the. Good banter. Yes, that is key. It's like keeping the banner going and it's having fun and it's not taking like any. It's not forced.

Having a cute mustache. Yeah. It's asking normal questions. I'm not like, hey guys, welcome. We have Heather Lynn. Heather, when was your first period? Right back. Let's talk about childhood trauma first.

Interesting. Yeah, that unlocks a whole lot of other things going on in my brain. Well, let's dive deep into your past. Right, yeah, let's do that. Does everybody want to cry? When did boobs develop? Yes, 11. That's weird.

I just podcast. Just zoom in slowly on Batu's face. The offenders. That's weird He's also formed at that age Mine look better than yours though Baddies like a fucking Cody how dare you I drove from Vermont to South Carolina for you Finally you were supposed to be on the podcast last week. We did a core three or whatever I fucked up the trif. The trifucta. That's what we came up with. Yeah, it's the trifucta. Yeah, it wasn't. I had more importance.

Oh, yeah. Fluck, just do a slow punch in on that face. I had way more important, productive things that could be a better use of my time. Can I ask one question? Can you really facilitate your growth on online media? What was the food item involved? Shh. One question you really facilitate your growth on the online media item involved Oh, yeah, Heather D&D Dungeons & Dragons dragons dnd can you act as okay i will i will i want to teach dnd more than anything on earth i will i will give heather a compliment oh no don't she's one

of my favorite act stop actors to work with gross period when i direct or anything like that i i love working with heather because she she's like what do I need to do? And she listens when I explain something like, hey, this is whatever. This is the emotion you're going for. Do this with your face. She listens to a fucking T. D&D would be fantastic if she learned. Heather, do you

like Lord of the Rings? Yeah, I used to be butt-fucking obsessed. Butt-fucking obsessed. I can show you an old-school picture Okay, are we talking like how obsessed we talking Gandalf? Legolas Gimli No, I'm just curious that what where you are on that scale of daddy issues please punch into that vlog Orlando Blim's my favorite

same though I was looking at these old pictures and I can't even find I have all of these so I can put these on the podcast I'm wearing an anime shirt red hair and there's a leather one the shirt says anime it doesn't mean you liked anime I

Like basic anime Yeah, I like very basic. I like inuyasha a cowboy bebop trygun stuff like oh, okay. Oh, that's not basic That's just oh gee. That's just oh gee. That's the 90s. That's a to nominate fucks. That's okay I stopped watching Lori just got an entire inuyasha piece on her leg. I wish they finished that. Oh, okay. That's cool Did you hear about the second this the new Inuyasha? What? Are they bringing it back? So Inuyasha got a like, you know how they with Naruto they did Boruto the Naruto son Well, they did that with Inuyasha. It's kids from the inuyasha series like sishomaru's

kids yeah well they're bringing their children back yes that's literally it they they had kids like higome and inuyasha and sishomaru so it got really fucking weird though because i can't remember the girl that uh sishomaru inuyasha's brother kidnapped as a child um but he uh raised her to the point where she was an adult then fucked her and had a kid with her so yeah it got super fucking weird like the anime is like look at these cute kids introducing and the child he kidnapped that he fucked and then had a then they made a show about it's Japanese anime. Yeah Yeah, I have that photo. You've literally sent me all that I have all I have the entire of Heather problems photos

Well, yeah, that was just me like that was when I was fucking himself in Yasha That young a Look it's a tiny head. Yeah, I love anime And I watched like three shows so D&D you just have to pretend to be a character Just pretend you're in Lord of the Rings. Yeah could literally be like Legolas, but you stay in character the whole time Eli was Characters hilarious a redneck drow That place in Yeah, nice watch yeah, awesome awesome place. I just bought a cloak there yesterday

cloak Yes, because I know first of all you went and bought a cloak without telling me or bringing inviting me in any way Yeah, we kind of live by that place I was right after we oh when I right after I was heading to Brandon's. Oh, okay. Because I was like, fuck, I need to do it for a skit real quick. So I was like, I'll just buy one there because it was the only place. You can't talk coke without me.

During the checkout, Batty, I was like, oh, I'll take this cloak. He was like, oh, I love open cloaks. I wear those all the time. I was like, oh, he's being serious. What? He's like, oh, he's being serious. Like, I know that dude, like, throws on his cloak to walk around. What scenario calls for open cloak versus closed cloak? A coat. Is this like open carry versus inside the way?

No, this isn't this. Open cloak versus a coat. We live in a modern time frame. We're not fucking wearing potato sacks to stay warm anymore. What? Did you just call this man's cloak a potato sack? That seems rude. Huh?

What do you need a cloak for? Jedi. Oh. See? That works perfect. Jedis wear cloaks all the fucking time. All the time, but you didn't work perfect. Hooded?

There are no short Jedis. Yes, there are, Yoda, but you didn't work. I did there no short Jedi's Yes, there are Yoda green. Yeah It's Jedi's most powerful one. How tall Luke Skywalker go away you Oh, no All in my chips Five six five nine. He's my height The greatest right rules i didn't lose the greatest jedi of all times all right darth maul was five four what five two that's not true who played dark ma um i can't remember his name he was the uh the stunt actor yeah he was the stunt man and they pulled him in to be the full-time ray park yes ray park yes ray park he is not five four he is a tiny dude no he's

not uh i'm just fucking talking on my fucking a lot of like front men for like metal bands are like five four it's five five to five nine is, for him, they have two different heights. Five, eight. Five, five. I'm going to throw up. You're thinking of all that remains right now, aren't you, Phil? No, like in general. Phil's a tiny man. No, in general, though.

Phil's motionless and white. That mojo is big. Chris? Chris is motionless? Danny Filth from Cradle of Filth is like five, four. There's so many front men that are like, they do this big voice experience. Danny Worsop, what a little bitch.

I'm pretty sure he's like 6'5". He's my height at least. Yeah, he's a tall dude. Danny is a regular sized human. It's because I had another thought. I'm just gonna tuck that one back in. I'm a little loose today.

Run your size. Shut up, you tall bitch. In my newest vlog, Danny sang a song about how big my dick is. That's cool. That's a good vlog song. What was it called? I love Danny. I don't know.

It's like a whole. He did like. It was a whole. He serenaded him. Yeah, I did. Guitar or piano. He serenaded him. Yeah, I didn't He's like serenade me for three minutes Matt played uh guitar guitar guitar

the guitar song about cody's dick Pp oh stop. It's not the first song that was written about it won't be the last okay It's just multiple songs about pp Oh Okay. It's just multiple songs about pee pee. Oh, don't. Yeah, it's Konuts dick. That's how it went.

It's what happens. Okay, Batty, are you ready to close this out? No. Wait, first, Heather, where do people find you at? On social media. I'm Heather Lynn O. Why the O? O? No.

People think that. People think that. People think that. It's because my last name starts with O, and I don't tell people my last name. So I just O-H. O. I didn't know that. Yeah.

So it's H-E-A-T-H-E-R-L-Y-N-N-O-H on Twitch, TikTok, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, et cetera, et cetera. Or Google Heather Osaka if you want to know her real last name. Got you. Thanks. Or Sasha Gray. Oh, my God. You never made that connection?

I know. It's hard to unsee once you see it. Holy fuck! Cody! I don't. That's why we were wanting to go to the AVNs this year. We were going to take a picture with her and Sasha Gray with me in the middle. It's the eyebrows.

Yeah, I love Sasha. It's the eyebrows. I love Sasha. Everyone, thank you for watching the unsubscribe podcast. Today, of course, as always, we have Donut Operator and Eli Double Tap. And our very, very special guest, Heather Lynn! Thank you for being here. We love you! Bye!

Yeah, that one. Like, subscribe, all that stuff. Okay, bye. Like, subscribe. I already reacted. I'm a fucking idiot. Heather, make a cracky sound. Three, what?

I have a cup full of mezcal. Who do you... What? This is the worst... Why did you... No, do it in front of the mic. Don't do it over there. Nice.

Shop with Rakuten and you'll get it. What's it? It's the best deal. The highest cashback. The most savings on your shopping. So join Rakuten and start getting cash back at Sephora, Uniqlo, Expedia, and other stores you love. You can even stack sales on top of cash back.

Just start your shopping with Rakuten to save money at over 750 stores. Join for free at rakuten.ca or download the Rakuten app. That's R-A-K-U-T-E-N, rakuten.ca.