Unsubscribe Podcast - 42 - Three Boomers One Nikko ft. Nikko Ortiz

Episode Date: February 23, 2022

Unsubscribe Ep42 - Three Boomers One Nikko Ft. @Nikko Ortiz FIRST OF ALL SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OUR PRETTY PRINCESS BADDIE! Ok now you can enjoy this episode with @Nikko Ortiz . he likes battlefield 2042. sorry. ENJOY!!!! ------------------------------ WHERE TO LISTEN Spotify https://spoti.fi/2Ye8YOU Apple Podcasts https://apple.co/3cbqY4k Amazon https://amzn.to/2YbzQia Google Play https://bit.ly/2YcWmaD Stitcher https://bit.ly/3cbnY8o ------------------------------ Follow the Cast of Unsubscribe -Baddie- @Baddie Streams https://www.twitch.tv/baddie https://twitter.com/BaddieStreams https://www.instagram.com/baddiestreams/ https://www.youtube.com/baddiestreams -DonutOperator- @Donut Vlogerator @Donut Operator https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwkm_Wcyh0pc7UUmZZfL-6w https://www.instagram.com/donutoperator/ https://www.twitch.tv/DonutOperator https://twitter.com/DonutOperator -Eli_Doubletap- @Eli Doubletap https://www.instagram.com/eli_doubletap/ https://www.twitch.tv/Eli_Doubletap https://twitter.com/Eli_Doubletap https://www.youtube.com/c/EliDoubletap ------------------------------ Edited by Fluck https://www.twitch.tv/fluck Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Oh my god. Miss Keisha, what the f***? I haven't, what? It's my birthday no stop it Alright that's fine Wait are we doing it? There's pickled pear Make him drink the spicy one

Which one do you want spicy or grapefruit? What's not spicy? No not the spicy one Okay or pickled pear Okay birthday man girl Call me a princess! No! Call me a fucking princess today.

Shut the fuck up, John! John! Is that the last kid? Hey! Say hi to Eli. He's racially ambiguous and batty. That guy's fucking ridiculous donut that's harder to rhyme but he's a really nice guy welcome to unsubscribe hey guys thanks for watching unsubscribe podcast um make sure

wherever you're listening or watching whether it's on youtube uh castro spotify apple google amazon podbean stitcher or that's all of them. Please leave a comment, like it, thumbs up it, give it a rating of five stars, whatever you do, it helps the podcast out immensely. And Donut and Eli will be very happy if you do that. And we want to make Donut and Eli happy today. Yeah. Five stars on everything and a comment if there is possible because we need to be at the top

Donut say something motivating Betty it's your birthday! You look older than all of us I do not Cheer! Set your crows feet up bitch You can't have crows feet with that weight Oh god Howie

Open your drinks! Oh! You gotta yell at me the whole time. You gotta do whatever you want. I yell normally, so this is fine. It's the same, this is it. Hi everyone, Unsubscribe Podcast here. I'm joined today by Batty Streams,

Eli DoubleFap, and Mr. Nico Ortiz. And... Donut Operator. Which my favorite new comment is, Donut, when he starts each episode, it looks like he just woke up here and he's surprised what's going on. That's hell of a time. Donut's like,

why don't you subscribe? The dragons are back. He's like, what the fuck are we talking about today? He's like, guys, do we have a script this time? No, god no. But they never had. What is this? That's why it starts, he just throws out, he hits a hold of it, cause you're,

and he's like, oh dude, something fucking me against you, and then you're just, yeah. And then he stares off and he's like, Then he has the PTSD. It's Batty's birthday. Batty, how old are you? 30 fucking 2. How's it feel? Everything hurts.

Are you surprised as us that you've made it this far? To be honest, I'm surprised I made it past 18. So this is all bonus time. So I'm just living life like I should be here. Batty's on New Game Plus already. This living thing is way harder than I expected. So I'm just living life like I should be here! The baddie's on New Game Plus already. Yeah. The baddie's on New Game Plus already. Man! This living thing's way harder than I expected!

This fucking sucks, dude! Why am I doing this shit? You just gotta send it, bro. That's all I'm doing, man. Fuck it. Well, happy birthday. Cheers. Again, we did a shot.

Oh, God. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Good. Good. Good. Good. And then we got Nico

Hi Nico Nerd Well You play a shitty game I play a shitty game What game do you stream now? Guys just watch this This is fucked up

What game is this? I don't play the new Fortnite Don't fucking throw Battlefield 2042. Fuck! Okay. Listen. Bro, I hate Call of Duty, and Battlefield makes Call of Duty look good.

That's fucked up. No one has given it a fair shot. I think everyone who said... How many... No, here's the thing though Yeah, nobody hey 18 boy girl princess kay Alright, you still look cute though. I love you all the same. I guess but we can't do it here these 860 negative

860,000 negative reviews on steam didn't give it a fair shot Unfortunately you have to go into the settings to fix it. That's always how I like to describe a video game Okay, my first experience was starting it and Sorry the foot was plugged in They have been fucking up though Big time They put a new Because they created all these new fucking game modes

They fixed something and then it goes wrong What's it called the creator Which one The shit where you can edit your own shit Where you can make your own custom game modes It's got a name The other where you can start your battlefield It's like you can pull people in and you get a control every aspect of

In conquest and that's pretty much it I'm glad we pulled your audio at the beginning. You're like, I'm going to talk about this loud. Okay. And the second the podcast started, he was like, we're just peaking.

Everyone's Mike. Now this is great. Maddie, your Tara fell off Tiara. So now when you guys start talking, I just can scream and I win. Remember that you're sitting here with me, sir.

You need to calm your, I'm sorry. Yeah. You didn't call me. I'm sorry The worst games I'm like every time I'm like I'm gonna raid me never mind playing battlefield Okay, well ready or not no no no we still are out there with battlefield And then it just... It's so crazy. It's so weird. It's so crazy. Stop. It is a better game. Okay, well, ready or not. No, no, no. We're still not done with Battlefield. No, we gotta make fun of you for at least five more minutes about this.

So, who makes Battlefield dice now? Yeah? Who makes Battlefield? Where is this? Dice. Remember what Flux sent us the other day? God damn it. Oh my god, yes.

Uh-huh. No, wait, wait, wait. Have him guess why. Because why did Battlefield fail? No, no. This is too... My video came out... The video came out literally. Yes Why I'm like why did it do we really know a this is a statement dice made this statement Oh, I know why no why this is Hell fucking sucks. I've never been a fan of halo halo is dog shit okay we want to do do as I didn't invite him Eli Eli this is your fault yeah let's do this

y'all ever had a fucking at least ever benefits you master chief right this is how you this is you're literally turning about hello the cut scenes because I create a whole movie yet Well in the whole long time no it could be the age gap too, but you know On the first three games what's a halo? Oh, I'm not old enough to play the game fuck, okay, you know whatever Battlefield really that's your go-to. That's the hill you're gonna die on? That's your fucking hill? Right? Custer, let's calm down a little bit. But, but, but...

Where we don't raid you. I used to... Hey guys, you wanna go watch me go watch Passion of the Christ for two hours? It's basically me just screaming and crying my own shit. Just shitting and pissing everywhere, man. It's everywhere. Yeah, so I mean, I still think it's better, well remember I used to do COD, it used to be COD 24-7 We're better off doing that Yeah, that's when you got raids

I fucking hate it, battle duels are so bad I need you to calm the fuck down Why, why is it bad? What do you shell- I haven't had any bugs the last 2-3 months You're full of shit Why why is it bad? From You gotta change it to fucking from a DX11 to DX12. And then you have to unbind half of your keybinds for other things if you're playing on a controller. You can't use keyboard and mice. You play keyboard and mouse. Yeah, no shit! That's probably the first problem.

Just cut to technical difficulty and then play episode 33? Flux, if you can just cut to three of us. John, come here, you're on your own Nico's fired John set up so fast I was like, ha! I like Max and Kmart Do you actually

Are you on like console too Or are you using a controller on your PC? We started on console Then I transitioned over to PC Your first system was at PS2 Using a controller on your PC started on console. Okay. Yeah, no fair gotcha PC your first system was at PS 23 ps3 to wire to end of that very end of the ps2 To I wanted an Xbox 360 Do I have a spot your PlayStation 2 and I'm like yeah, but they came out

There's no Xbox think about a week ago Then I was the kid who had the PlayStation 2 said PlayStation 2 was God wait until the Xbox one I hate that was it the slim PlayStation 2. Oh, yeah after I broke the big one. Yeah, it was a little tiny one I can envision this is a kid. Can I get great that's auto 3 no on your five no My mom was like what should I get my son as a game for Christmas? And her coach like oh Jim a grant of photo. I love run around shooting everybody and then My god great game so fun right and then I'm like in second grade We didn't get that far because my dad my mom buys the game comes home my dad's like what what is What is this cuz my mom's more of like oh, yeah, whatever my dad's like the oh, no don't uh-uh No, and then my dad was like this

He's killing people in this game And then he asked one of his friends like oh you can like run around like shoot cops and stuff or something like that And then and then my asked one of his friends like oh you can like run around like shoot cops and stuff or something like that and then and then my dad was like oh no never we're not doing this so I never got to play Grand Theft Auto until I was probably like in eighth grade so that was like two years ago pretty much I was in high school, I was in the fucking, you know, trying to play Grand Theft Auto, and I was like, dang, this is crazy. So that's why I joined the army right away, you know? I'm trying to live this shit, real life. Grand Theft Auto, Afghanistan.

Yeah, same, same, same, but different, bro. But still same, you know? I love my 10-year-old, who has autism, is allowed to play Grand Theft Auto. Nico had to wait until he was, you had pubes. Pretty much, dudees Pretty much dude pretty much my parents saw the same way y'all looked at me when I said hey Shit you know those look that's the same looks my parents gave me while I was growing up So it's understandable at this point. I guess right. What were you saying? No, it's how old are you? I am wait. Hold on. How old do you think I am? Oh, you're an old fuck like 24. No, you got that that youthful vigor

24 right 23. Oh damn makes me feel good. No, he's like 42. I'm like 26 Six oh snap. I'm only 11 years old 11 when I was in war When you couldn't play Grand Theft Auto I was in war You were born I was like oh I'm getting out of school today Awesome kindergarten by the way Then my mom Is looking at the tv my dad's looking at the tv

they're crying and i'm like oh look that building is smoking that's not good and i legit remember saying this i was like i'm gonna go upstairs play spider-man 2 on playstation and that was my day didn't understand the relevance of that. That was a really long time I can just picture and be like Why isn't spider-man there? Yeah, that's how I feel around all of you will not and you're all I have only like a five Yeah, me and Cody have a two two year That's how I feel around all of you. Well, not... You're all... I only have like a five. Yeah.

Me and Cody have a two... Two year. Two year. Me and Matt only have a one year. I'm the old one. Yeah. Damn. Yeah. It's okay.

And then me and you have an 11 year gap. Knowledge. Wait, wasn't Tim older than you? That's my mom's gap. Yeah, Tim was one year older than me. But Tim was like, why are you only one year younger than me? Really? I was like, Tim, this is what special forces and UFC do to you.

You were... Hi, I'm Tara Schmidt, a registered dietitian and host of On Nutrition, a podcast for Mayo Clinic where we dig into the latest nutrition trends and research to help you understand what's health and what's hype. There's a lot of wild stuff out there, so we'll be keeping it science-based, research-informed, and practical. Mayo Clinic's On Nutrition. New episodes every other week, wherever you get your podcasts. Broken. broken oh yeah tim stories when he was here is fucking it was tim tim being tim tim being tim so nico

tiktok youtube yeah grinder what's your favorite app my favorite Well, I don't have one because I hate social media. But now it's my career. Most of us hate social media. That turns into our career. I think I hate social media. I can't stand fucking social media. No. And I'm the kid here, right?

I love everyone. Even my entire audience, everyone in high school is all addicted to social media. You were born into social media you were like born into the social media i was born before it still so yeah i was born into social media and ever since like middle school and all that stuff i was the last kid to get like the newest i didn't get facebook a facebook account until i was probably a sophomore in high school and you were in a sheltered life weren't you no i just i just didn't care i was a kid who actually i think i was one of the last few kids who went outside to play and go do shit?

And it wasn't even nothing crazy I just go outside play football or go hang out and talk with like my neighbors luckily I had I was on a block where there's like six other kids my age at the time So I'd able to go out and talk to other people and then when I was inside I just shelter myself and play video games and that was that you know Like in high school for you vine was big right that was that a vine was big the vine age Yeah, I never used vine. It was vine during that a it was that high school for you. Yeah Yeah, vine and not divine

Vine was the I know of mine, but I literally never used it never had yeah, I just I hated dude I didn't even get an Instagram until 2018 2017 yeah, literally right before I started streaming. I didn't I didn't use Instagram I didn't take photos of myself my I had a Facebook. It was just cuz like family I didn't use social media I didn't fucking make a Twitter until I had already started streaming on Twitch like I think we all have good for you I have I have four military pictures. I think the entire time I probably

You know what you get shit on for taking photos, but then you know your biggest regret is not taking Like constantly man It's such a self-conscious thing in the military anywhere to just pull out a phone take a photo like you want to but you can't because even the dude next to you wants to but you can't i got one photo at sniper school man and it was like we got shit on for that i got one photo of me shooting a barrett standing up when i was right before i grabbed dude straight up and then the cadre came by like what are you doing? That's what's a good photo. I'm like Yeah, do we had sofa oh my god 2008 one of the

Is the bricks no this is just an actual photo a video in Iraq which would no one took video so far our fucking so far at nah he did the coin is his names He was a Thai kid in fucking worse accent. He's the one I couldn't make say hippopotamus struggle for Like fucking mid-fire fight in Mokhtadiya. And this is a bad firefight. Fucking Sofa's like, oh! He runs over and puts the fucking camera up and it's recording. Just to get a video of the firefight.

I'm like, what the fuck are you doing? Yeah, and you just hear like, it's like a bad firefight. We're like Like turns it off is a good one. Yeah, there's a great video on my youtube channel in eight years My space is gonna be fired My space man that was after bro that was the only social media I have 2000 years what that died in like 2009 It died. I think I think, after my last year in high school because Facebook was taking over. So 2008.

My MySpace was the thing early in high school. I remember I met John's mom on MySpace and he was born in 2009. So MySpace died in 2008. So is that last year? That's how I met Bryden's mom. Exact same way, MySpace. I was looking for local people in Norfolk Niko's doing his... All on four cameras. What the fuck? He's leaning into each angle.

Niko, get out of the shot. You're really fucking this up and you're never coming back again. You ain't welcome here no more, bro. We should bring... We're like Eskimo bros on MySpace. We're like MySpace Eskimo bros. Yeah. Something like that.

I wonder, are we? Maybe, probably. Batty, how many girls did you sleep with off MySpace? Happy birthday! Today is the deep dive. What questions have you always wanted to ask Batty? Today is the time. I've selected a list of questions that make him uncomfortable

Did you know your dad was disappointed with the tear But we can say starting now, so that's fine, So we got what baddies birthday you turn old as fuck. Yeah Well, okay, Eli. I Know I own that we had it's true. Donut was out for a week He's back You know riding that Chevy again, or do you want to ride in the Porsche I'm trying. What? Sorry, I mean, you were talking about butt sucks. Stop. Sorry. You want to ride in that Chevy again, or do you want to ride in the Porsche? The Porsche is the best, dude.

They're shooting rocks at my fucking car. No, that was best. Oh, man. I was like, we're not even going to do it. They're going to just fuck each other up before we get inside. This is it. It's over. So Eli's got his Porsche back, back and it's very very low to the ground so my driveway sucks ass it's rocky and bumpy so he parked it at the bottom of the

driveway i have my chevy back which is also kind of low not nearly as low as the porsche and i had to park at the bottom of my driver real quick just to fix my gate and everyone hopped in my truck to drive up the rest of the driveway before uh to get to the house and Eli's Porsche was directly behind my truck on a rocky uphill driveway and my truck

does this thing where you step on the gas the wheels spin a little bit and you hear he's trying to cover his ass right now before you go outside and check he didn't check his car after so he's trying to cover his truck it's called traction control, it didn He didn't check his car after, okay? Yeah, I was still looking. It's called traction control. It didn't exist in the 70s. No, it's a 79 Chevy.

It doesn't do the whole wheels not spinning thing well when you start. They just go. Yeah. Into the car. The windshield, the rack, the back and the grills. It's my birthday! Don't be mad at me! I'm. I do think there's... Eli, it's my birthday. Don't be mad at me.

I'm sorry. I think there's a rock in the front. I was just looking. I was like, there's a white something on the grill. I tried so hard to go slow. I tried. He did. Well, that's probably why it felt like the whole thing was going to fucking get...

We're shaking like this and I'm like, yo, what the fuck is going on, dude? It's my truck trying to go a quarter mile an hour to get out of the loose rock in front of any of those cars. Was gonna fucking get we're shaking like this Definitely like an old truck you like we open the door and shit What's not like a rod sell truck? Joy man second. It's got a brand new motor in them. Yeah That's why the exhaust looks very shiny I just like if you took away the body but look at this shiny new everything and then you're like Let's slap the body back on you like Badass then Cody has just your Raptor and your goddamn Yeah, it sounds fucking phenomenal. It's real loud. It's badass. And then Cody has just your Raptor and your goddamn. Just his Raptor, sir?

And your goddamn, and just your 200 edition. Oh, God. Oh, yeah. You know what car he has? What kind of cars does he have? Nico's a car guy. Oh. He has a Jag F-Type.

He has a Jag. And when he says he's like That's why he's like you playing with a mousing keyboard Don't see why a massive keyboard has to deal with what you drive me goes fucking weird But yeah super stock hell Cassie he has the fast the 808 horsepower. Oh, that's hot Cuz he's like, Hey dude, what's a good baguette? Okay, got it, love your car. Super great, love it, very fast. I was like, I should have brought the Jag. I was like, oh yeah, you got a frunk, my bad. A frunk?

You call it a frunk? Yeah. It's a frunk. A frunk. I've never heard the word frunk in my life. Really? Wait, hold on. You've heard of a frunk?

I've never heard of a frunk. Whoa. What do you Wait, hold on. You've heard of a frunk? I've never heard of a frunk. Whoa! What do you call a butthole? A bunk? A putthole? So it gets a pussyhole. Another option. That's what the fuck it is. My time is way different than yours.

And it don't work, we got fucking options now, bro. Okay? And if you're not okay with it, you're weird. Not me. Dude, I'm calling a pussy a frunk now. Let me get that frunk. Hey, if you like it from the back, you're winning, bro.

Because they're not going to like it when you call it a frunk. They'll be like, fuck my ass. Oh, yeah, we don't. Jesus fucking Christ. What's the comment section right now? We don't have a question. We're like an hour in. Y'all eat ass or what? Y'all eat ass.

That's the question. Y'all eat ass. Comment below. Just yes or no. Yes or no. Y'all eat ass. Do y'all eat ass? Yeah, we're fucking... This is a pro-EU object

I'm not saying you do, like Yes! Oh, watch this guys Ready? Because one of his stories I know this Alright, well, we go ahead Nico, you spit in mouth? Oh, dude, I'd be fine The perfect

amount You fucked a nothing bunch of the rest of your life. Like, damn, I just... It's property now at this point? Or am I like... Am I in... Is that like a personality?

Am I a person? Or am I just an object at this point? Wait, is that why you guys get along so well? You spit in mouths and he receives spits in mouths? And at that moment, we knew. Guys, we're in a pandemic.

That's how we met. I was like, you're six feet away when you spit in his mouth. It was like a slow-mo. He just jumped. Oh, got it. You're going to spit on the ground

and just die from under your legs? That's such a good scan. I'm like, you're already there on the ground, and he's like, oh, this is the best. Oh're already there on the ground. What's the best? Oh, yeah.

You did this story. It's like you could be the first guy that spits in her mouth or maybe the last. You decide your journey. I was like, no truer words have ever been said. That's just like, I'm not drunk enough. Am I wrong though? Does anyone say I'm fucking wrong? You can be the first guy or the last guy.

You could be both. The choice is up to you. Okay? I've changed people's lives. I've changed lives, dude. For the better, okay? Both sides, all right? I like your guys

are like, this is embarrassing, but I love eating worse. I'm not embarrassed. I love the shithole. The shithole's my favorite place to dine out of. Ew, spitting in mouth? That's disgusting. I don't think it's gross. Spitting in mouth. I'm not burying my face in mouth.

This is where people fuck up, though, dude. They're like, oh, spit in mouth? Oh, dope. And then they're like, oh, my girl legit smacked the fuck out of me We're probably gonna break up and I was like what happened like a spit in her mouth I'm like okay, this is- Did you warn her? No no not that it's did you like do the thing We're like you know whatever's on the tongue spit into the mouth, which is what it should be okay? Or did you straight up loogie everything from her stomach to push out into the fucking, the hole of her mouth?

Like, what did you do? I know. That's how it is. No, it's like. Can you spit my mouth in? It's like. That's what people imagine, bro. One more.

And then it's a yo-yo. It's just like. It's slow. Can you tease him with the yo-yo? You're like, you want that? You wanted this Bro, okay, no, no, no Okay, so real quick Back in our early days, cartoons Sorry, cum, there

Early days, the cartoons we used to watch All like recess and shit Everybody used to joke, it was always like the prank The bully would hold down the kid and do the yo-yo spitting them out thing Is that why we all have trauma now? That could be the starting? Like Sandlot type movies wasn't it was like a couple remember it was long. We were young No Little Nikki there's a lot of things that happened That has to be one of those yeah, I know exactly

Like when you used to watch the gargoyles TV show and demonia came on That's I like statues it's weird Picture of demonia right now no fuck that Go put up the intro gargoyles to show how bad it is fucking wretched 1 000 years ago superstition and the sword ruled it was a time of darkness it was a world of fear it was the age of gargoyles stone by day warriors by night it's like mighty max is

my jam i love mighty max that was before i think that was before max i know what my name else is mighty max mighty max mighty max can you sing the whole song for me no that's all i remember it's not like pokemon i feel so young right now. This is fucking sick. What was the show that had the girl that broke you as a child? Wait, did you just say Phantom? Dora Explorer. He's really into Mexicans.

I remember that. I would go home. That was the one where you were like, this is going to be me later in life. Como estas, Joe? Did you bring that backpack? Yeah, bring the backpack. That's Nico's cake. Explore me.

Explore me. Speak to me in Spanish. Speak English, dude. I got the math to your- This is stupid. Me amo Niko. Hold on, hold on. What was that question again? Because I was like, hold up.

The show growing up, are you sure it was a fat two? There was a cartoon when you were younger and you were like, that chick in the cartoon, what was that? Fuck. We're talking like Teen Titans, like where were you on the oh fuck scale? Like... Example, Faye. Oh yeah.

Oh yeah, Cowboy Bebop, absolutely. Faye broke me when I was a teenager. Teen Titans was a good one right cuz starfire right so you're a starfire guy but not a Raven guy but but black fire if none of them really hit me hard it was actually video games and sly Cooper the Fox the female officer remember name oh my, are you a furry? Oh my gosh. Are you a furry? No, I'm not. I've been asked that before. What is your opinion on Zootopia? Oh, that's actually a great movie. I love that movie. Great J.O. flick.

I don't want to jerk it to that, but like, Greatest J.O. flick. Wait, hold on. You can't say, I'm not a furry. You ever seen Sly Cooper? Cause fuck, dude! Chewbacca? The Christmas specials? No, no, no, no!

Give me your Wookiee! I wanna hear the Wookiee now! I just slid out a little like, I was like, I don't know, I was hoping you guys could just pass over it. No! No! I love Star Wars. I know you've talked about it multiple times, you it's the best thing and whatever. Do your Wookiee impression again. How many times do you do it? I did!

I don't have a good one, I just did it. I did it, I just went, Which is like a weird grizzly bear one. That would have scared John at the age of three. It would have not been like, That's a Wookiee! It's just me, it's like, that's a Wookiee! Honey, get a shotgun! It's just me and Tom like, Eli's son's under the bed.

I'm gonna go kill it. Fucking A dude. What the fuck was that, dude? Maybe I'll don't let him come out here. Maybe I fucking win it. Maybe he's gonna go home and just work on his Wookiee impression. No, I'm just sick of this. He's gonna come back speaking Wookiee.

Yeah. I'm just gonna go home and just work on his Wookie impression for six months, dude. He's gonna come back speaking Wookie. Like, what's up guys? That one I'm not gonna do it again. I think we fucking need to do it again. I'm not gonna do it again. I know I don't know how to do it, okay? Son of a bitch.

We shit on Nikko. Open Nikko's mouth, fat shit. Do it There's your thumbnail It's half time it's half time. It's half time bad're. Oh, it's halftime. It's halftime. It's halftime, Batty. What does that mean? What happens at halftime? It's a birthday shot. I just, I'm upset over doing shots.

Don't use that one. Why'd you grab the fucking that one? I said shot. We're doing shots for Glen Levin 18. It's okay. It's his birthday. Just let him fuck up. I love you, though.

Don't do that one, Batty. That's not. Oh, my God, Batty. Stop. I'm here to support you. I Wait No why it's a great It's a really good thumbnail though. You get excited. There's a really good thumbnail It is I thought we're doing the shit and spit on me Jerking off we got apparently YouTube algorithm gods won't pick that thumbnail of it Now listen to podcast Three guys when Nico okay I don't listen to podcasts This one can stay This one's alright

Three guys, one Nico Okay Is this piss and shit? Three guys, one Nico And spit? Alright Oh shit Also

If we can get 30 more Go on to Spotify And get us over 1k 5 star reviews We're about to break Oh are we really about

Yeah we're about to break 1k Oh shit So thank you everyone For fucking Seriously Thank you from the bottom of our hearts. Just Eli's heart. Here, switch. Switch.

Yeah, you're old. You can't do it. I just like doing this to Eli. I know. Eli's like, I'm going to get drunk today. I'm like, oh, here's a full shot. Oops. Cut.

Happy birthday, Matty! Kill. But yeah, Spotify. What are the other ones? Yeah, if I can do that But Spotify, almost at a thousand That's hot It's crashing I'm fucking just happy

Y'all are killing me Shooting that 18 I know, just wasting Unparalleled Literally unparalleled You guys really are Thanks, man We got two more heads

We just don't like you You're lying to fucking everybody Don't fucking Now you know what's gonna go down Four instead of five You fucked that up, not me Thanks, man. We got to work. I don't like you Now you know it's gonna go down the four instead five you fuck that up not me now. They think you're lying, huh? Everyone how much you love me? Yeah, Betty. It's your birthday Nico. He's a good guy. I'd like you to move to Texas He's got in yeah, he can influence and he has that fuck face right there. I hate it. Dude, that was boring with the fuckest of fuck faces, dude. And I can't beat it, dude. I know. Dude, do people look at me and they like, are like...

Watch this. Wait, everyone pause. Donut, do your best fuck face. Fuck face. Fuck boy face. Like this. You gotta do the L. Okay, watch this. No, Nico, go. I'm gonna be inside. I don't have to do this shit anymore, man. It's so hard. Everyone's getting dick pics right now from Nico Please don't No he's sending him out

The second they see that face They're automatically sending their DMs So girl Make sure you do this thumbnail right Cause if motherf second they see that face, they're automatically sending their DMs. So, girl. Make sure you do this thumbnail right, because if motherfuckers see my face, they're going to be like, no. That's a fuckboy. They just needed someone. They fucking, look at this piece of shit right here.

He's on TikTok. Yeah. You're safe. We have the pieces of shit covered in this podcast. We did it. My side note, one of my favorite comments was last week episodes. No, not yours. It was a simple fact.

Donut didn't drink for one episode. And people were like, congratulations, Donut. Stay strong. And then people were like, brother. Solidarity. Good on you for doing better. He's healing now. Well I wasn't until Betty's birthday.

I ruined it. Or he's just a good friend, you know. The amount of times I've ruined Donut's sobriety. Seriously, Betty, every time. We had a solid nine days going there. I was like, yeah. You did say that earlier too. I was like, yeah, I'm drinking like nine days. And I was like, it's my fucking birthday.

Donut was on like a record of 23 days. And Batty was like, shot time when he woke him up. It's crazy. Dude, no. No, way back when we first moved here, we, because we went on the bender hard when we and you first moved to Texas. Yeah. And then we took, we were like, we're going to take a month off.

And it was like halfway through the month. I was was like don't know it means you're and we ruined Donuts and Pridy again you guys went on two benders we've been on a few been alcohol and tinder together no We did go one of those vendors together. Oh, you did one of them together. No. No, that's what I just said, bro. No, I didn't. Y'all caught up on the... Y'all caught it here live, baby.

Well, it turns out San Antonio is a very small town. Can you guys imagine this one? We all had a group when we were single. I forgot about that. We had a group text when we were single. And we're like, this one? And there's like five or six people in there. And they're like, oh, yeah, I got that one. It's like, ah, fuck, man.

It was literally, it's like, send a screenshot. It's like, question mark? Why are you following this girl's Instagram? I'm like, sorry, man. You guys just sent photos, and it's like, anyone going to get emotionally hurt? Everyone just like, nope, nope, nope. You're like, I'm fucking sick, dude. Yeah.

It's like, is this one okay, guys? And you'd be like, me and Caleb, we're good. High five real quick. Use your imagination. Oh, man. It's not good. Imagination. Imagination.

Somebody's been calling our podcast a fever dream, and every episode, I feel like it's getting worse and worse. Like, we are straying farther and just further from the worse Like we're straying farther And it's further from the light Farther from God's light Every podcast We used to come to the podcast every day With like notepads on our phones Being like okay I got three topics

Donut's like I got a couple here He's like I got a whole bunch of shit to talk about And now we just show up and we're like alright pour the shots Let's do this. Roll these fucking dice. We got Nico. How many subs has he got? Like three mil?

Cool. Fuck him. Let's wing this shit. Let's shit on him. Yeah, bitch. Yeah, let's make fun of him. We're going to be shitting his mouth on my thumbnail. Let's do it.

Thanks for coming, bro. Yeah. Oh, God. Dude. Hey, dude, come down here for the podcast, bro. It's going to be a good time. Fuck this little ass bitch, dude come down here for the you know the podcast, but I was gonna be a good fuck this the last Love you so much brother see when you get here Own that bitch I'll reel it back. What video games are you looking forward to oh shit? Oh shit looking?

Oh, wait hold on, shit. Looking forward to. Wait, hold on. Wait, no, wait. Fucking, Fluck, punch in on Donut right now. Ask that question again in your commanding voice. What video games are you looking forward to? Nico, open your mouth. Donut, spit in it.

Wait, Nico, Nico, Nico. Nico, assume position. Roger. I Can you fit that entire mic in your mouth I probably can do you want me actually Why do we do this Because you're so I'm like did rots you seem bad So you're seeing you can go deeper. Mm-hmm easy Right now wait Betty go To the wall to the base. I mean I already did it. What you guys know did he okay? Don't hold it I want that hand so you don't care. No, Link, can you put one hand on the back of the mic? Poor guest mic.

I want every person who comes here next to smell this. They all do that. Everyone does this. I don't know why. We make our guests deep clean. And you can tell by this house house it does not get deep cleaned. What's better than a well marbled ribeye sizzling on the barbecue?

A well marbled ribeye sizzling on the barbecue that was carefully selected by an Instacart shopper and delivered to your door. A well marbled ribeye you ordered without even leaving the kiddie pool. Whatever groceries your summer calls for, Instacart has you covered.

Download the Instacart app and enjoy $0 delivery fees on your first three orders. Service fees, exclusions, and terms apply. Instacart. Groceries that over-deliver. Mike is... What does that mean? Nothing.

It doesn't get deep. It doesn't get basically clean. I know this is okay, but the brush just Fucking Clean and shit what the hell Why'd you go so deep If you're listening today I'm so sorry

As long as I ain't getting AIDS Cause I don't have y'all good I promise I ain't getting AIDS we're good But to base though Don't be a liar again It's not a common thing we do on the podcast Yeah, you're good on that one. I'm good again. But to base though... Don't be a liar again. It's not a common thing we do on the podcast. Usually before the podcast we're just playing around with our mics and we're like, Can you get your teeth over it? Can you get your teeth over it?

You know who we didn't ask? Tim Kennedy. You guys didn't want him to be like, Oh, okay. The f- the f- Tim's just done. Tim's just like... That's the first time we've done it on stream. Yeah, yeah, oh yeah, it's always been before just because we're doing our sound check to my hey, dude Can you get over the mic? Yeah, so we don't know it so make sure you

Who else can fucking do like 40 minute mark which means you're right at that viewer retention rate So people will either see or they won't That's the thumbnail Okay, you were hold you were creating little oh and then you guys can be put like shit on my head in the thumbnail Jesus are spitting on my face. I'm just like can I get a resounding come Cody come? Thank you for sounding calm. The deepest, most I hate our podcast so much. There's nothing else you'd rather do, bro. Your skills,

if you put them on a fucking resume, they'd be like, podcast. I've peaked. This is it. This is as high as I go. I have reached the ceiling, and it's not that high. Oh my god, I love Donut asked a question ten minutes ago Shove this in your throat. Yeah, what's your favorite video game? What about a throaty Mike? I love that game You ever done that one? Watch me do it, bro. AGH! What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing?

What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? I better be in there. I better be in there. I better be in there. I better be upset, because that took effort. Oh, do you think we cut anything from the podcast?

Thank God. Oh, do you think we cut anything from the podcast? I didn't think so. I didn't think so. Dude, I cannot even handle this shit today. Dude, I cannot even handle this shit today. Dude, I cannot even handle this shit today. So we had Donut's question ask again.

So we had Donut's question ask again. So we had Donut's question ask again. Are there any video games you're looking forward to in the future? So third- I apologize for ignoring the other two times you asked future so third I apologize for ignoring the other two times To answer that If we were to just be disappointed to mine my real response the next In like three months I would have been like, oh, Battlefield 2032. Dude, there's videos on the internet of me praying to God, on stream playing God, being like, God, please.

Let fucking Battlefield come out already. I've never been a fan of Battlefield. I couldn't, dude, never been a fan. So I'm not an OG Battlefield fan. I'm not. I really don't like Niko. And this is the hill you die on This series

I'm gas about a boom I'm in didn't do two three or bad company or bad company to I played one of them you ignore ready Can upset wouldn't play the game again once it caught I'm over this conversation you ignore red flags how are your relationships in real life she's gonna get better she's changing

she's happy you don't even fucking know her she's in Canada she's got grappling hooks who cares she takes care of me. Okay, she gets it. It's oddly specific, Cody.

Grappling hooks. She has grappling hooks! She lets me spin her around. We all played that new Battlefield. Never a Battlefield fan until 2042, which is surprising for everybody, because half the people can't play the fucking game, but yeah. That was the defining moment of becoming a fan. You have a bar solo

I'm real I'm never lie to you. I promise keep it real, but the reason I do like remember like I said We started with cod and it was Call of Duty for a lot of fluff for this answer no this is real it's called dude for the longest time i only like battlefield now because it's like winning the match is actually objective based other than just killing people war zone when you win a match it's because you were the best ones out there or did you camp the whole match? Because I've done that and won multiple times. Warzone sucks. You can't camp. You go out and slay. Y'all about to hate me. I don't play the full map.

I do Rebirth. He does the baby map. It's way more fast paced. It's far more fun. Is that like after birth? Rebirth? Is that after birth? Does the mom eat that my mommy that is that what the mom eat

yeah the placenta is we have a black on the body we're all virgins and I'm done with me like 13 square so how many kills would I get on rebirth? To start, cause I know I'm about to get lit up in the comments and be like, Oh, Nico would never get it first, he's shit. To start, it was like 1. Maybe negative 1, and then I start playing as you do and it would kill me.

Is your character killing himself? It's landed, boom! Sorry guys still give me control I'd be like oh look I'm about to snipe them fall through shit So you know but that's the end it was like 12 13 kill games got a little bit better and it stayed there and then continue to play God I Want to talk of Niko so bad. Oh, I know here. It's our cough. It's okay ready or not I think is gonna set me up for good. I'll take okay. No well battlefield. I like it no Stop saying battlefield in like How many how much time do you have playing battlefield Cause I know I did raid you one time playing Battlefield

Cause you loved it so much Yeah cause it just came out two days ago Dude you were having so much fun I remember you said I'm never going back to COD Battlefield It's the best shit in my entire life I think I can pull up that stream and be like Why do they look so fucking small? Eli's just vomiting under his keyboard

And they're 75 meters away and it's like Unfortunately you do gotta fuck with the settings But I'm never going back to COD They're 75 meters away and it's like... Unfortunately, you do gotta fuck with the settings, but I'm never going back to... Don't justify a game by not... That's like saying, be like, man, okay, fucking... Okay, just hear me out. The new Spider-Man, if you adjust the settings on your TV, so much better. If you just turn off the TV, Battlefield's so much better, guys. If you just turn the monitor off, turn off the TV

If you could a three mile radius battlefield sick shit can't do the same thing same thing right it's so rough and you played tarkov these boys are tarkov boys and john john nappy john over there he's a big tarkov boy yes he got into tarkov but dude how much full of your old he fucking slays that john i played a couple times and i also watched him run to his death and it was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my entire life. No, it was the greatest thing, straight up. John, I do wish it was like two years ago when you got into it, because now when I log on to your guys' streams and I hear you playing with John, it's like, hey guys, should I go? Wait, I need money, so I'm going to go to Factory.

Stupid ass kid. Two years ago then, I'd be like like hey guys i'm gonna go to factory it's like a big difference now john's all pubered pubed out yeah he's all pubed out and deep voiced so summer hit the john boy hard he's a grown man now yeah he's got a mustache it's fucking scary Dude he's speed ramp puberty I'm still waiting on it Someday So am I John's like fuck you guys

John come say hey bud Yeah John get in here show your mustache off He's gonna have his dad's mustache He is he's already got a mustache Like right here put your face right here Right in the middle All generation new Wait medium 9-11 leave more a little more John

Better stash than me. Yeah, you honestly do have a better session. He's been growing that one 37 years 38 37 yeah, you're right. Yeah, I was like you you are dude your speedrunning puberty. Thank you for being fast. He sends it. He's a better target player than me. Ooh. Damn. I suck. You that little ass kid? I was lying.

Fuck that little ass kid. He's stuck. Uh-uh. Fuck that boy. Not in that level of change. That boy must stop. I'm gonna just stop right here. He's about to beat you up, man.

You better be careful, bro. I know. He's taller know you already That's like when you talk shit, and he says what mmm grows the full fucking Flexes a mustache Turns into donut I got all this wetness from my deep throat from the back of your throat

I'm the best dude I say salivating you ever had some dry shit go down? explain what? as opposed to wet shit go down? yeah what's dry shit versus I mean I've taken a dry shit before it's not great, not fun that's like a little caesar's after like three days later we're not very hydrated Shit before

Dusty the dusty right Going hard as fuck for a BJ How unsatisfying is that for a BJ? BJ you got a dusty blowjob. I never mean dry mouth, bro What do these fucking smoke weed? They have the white strings on their lips? Like the corals and shit? Yes! The white- hold on, hold- let me just-

Hold on. And the sandpaper on my- Does it feel like a cat licking my penis right now? Okay. What? Jesus Christ. You had a cat lick you? Dude, you're a

savage. You're something else. What's happening? Dry blow job? Yeah, you have to focus on this more. Is she just lipping you like, Don't reenact that. That's not what you would react. How do you... He said he had a dry mouth job.

Hey, use your imagination. I'm trying. I can't. None of us can fathom this. That guy just did some ecstasy before So I take pre- I'm like, you're like a guy. I'm like, what the fuck did he say? He said, dude, what? He's talking about

a man. I had a dry mouth before, but I don't quite see how this is... Man, times have changed, bro. Y'all had it really good, apparently. High school. The 10-year generation made a difference. Big old gap, bro. A lot of teeth.

Oh, God, yeah. A lot of braces. A lot of braces. Since y'all hate me so much, we'll talk about the generational gap. One, guess what? On active duty, I did not drink a sip of alcohol. Wait, the entire time? Entire time.

Why? I was like, eh. All these fucking drunk fucking specialist bitches who are about to get on deployment, I can beat them out in this box rotation. Because they all fucking, they're decent dudes, but I can beat them out in every way, shape or form, right? Because infantry like- Because your body is pure.

Because my body is fucking pure, bro. And I was like, fuck these dudes, plus I'm smarter than them. They're a piece of shit. I got this. And then while we're on deployment- Hey guys, if you knew Niko when you were in the army, just leave a comment below. Unit 213. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Got my sergeant in two, let 213. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Got my sergeant in two. Let's go. They're like, this little bitch? This little TikTok bitch? That's what people think, bro. I'm like, god damn it. Whatever. I can't blame them.

It's the fuckboy face, bro. People are like, you're, you. Could you imagine Nico just fucking ready to go? Just going for it. I picture him kicking it. He's like, second man. He's like, fuck. That's it, dude. He's in his man. He's like

But go back to not drinking yeah, what's that like? Now we can all look in I'm ready to learn. I feel like don't know everyone's Like daddy stare at that camera don't assert that camera You continue your boring story How many years how many years are you sober? Oh, you're sober? Yeah. Oh. We said not a drop of alcohol, so how many years were you sober? What was the push over? I probably didn't start drinking until...

We're not talking about from birth. You're in the fucking military. No, no, from- from- So I started drinking alcohol... Last year? Like, why are you taking so much time? 2020. I drank alcohol when I was 16. Last year 20 I Drank alcohol when I was 16 My goal is to become a police officer or join the FBI and I said I got knocked this off was getting to a lot

Of trouble I was getting I don't look like it Little ghetto ass White kid getting into fights you're getting arrested all the time Fucking just causing problems. I can't picture it I was it I would explains the fuck did you wear polos you look like you want polo he's doing the same time oh yeah not I want CI did I did I wear polos but yeah did you steal it away right now yeah honey steal that No, never thank God so So you

You were straight edge until 2020 No, never might so my dad So no look I was drinking in high school battlefield So no look I was drinking in high school battlefield Stop drinking at like 17. Didn't drink alcohol again. Didn't touch it until I was like 23. Sorry, 24.

24. Yeah. 24. It won't take long to tell you neutrals ingredients. Vodka. Soda. Natural flavors. So. soda natural flavors so what should we talk about

no sugar added neutral refreshingly simple wish you said it's like I already had two fucking hospital trips for alcohol poisoning by then Neutral. Refreshingly simple. I wish you said it's like... I already had two fucking hospital trips for alcohol poisoning by then. Batty had a heart attack two years after that. He's had a stroke.

Dude. Tough bitch, bro. Let's get it. Okay. Yeah, brother. I'm the best. We're going with prickly pear. This is going to be terrible. Do I need to drink faster? Yes. Donuts on one, two. Yeah, brother I'm the best we're going with prickly pear is gonna be

Yes Donuts on one two there we go dudes. Oh fuck. I'm still 24 you didn't drink that's fuck a long time Y'all saw on the charity well one bro. I've never been the one to let other people influence me in any way shape or until you And I was like yes, sir Roger scared Mr. Batty I don't like Mr. Batty I don't like that at all Batty daddy bro What's wrong king I'm gonna get you some

Batty daddy shoes What's wrong king I have a Batty daddy hat Oh that's hot I sell that merch I have Batty daddy merch Oh dude Well that's hot

It works Cause I just said it's natural bro It just happens Dude wow I'm still more amazed Just not drinking in the military I cannot wrap my head around this. Like, Donut's having a...

He's having a flashback inside a flashback. It's Vietnam and then Donut being sober in Vietnam. It's a dual-air flashback. This is an inception shit. We're double-talked in right now. I just... Well, don't get me wrong. Everyone in the military,

you haze the fuck out of the privates, right? The new guys, right? You tell them to drink the alcohol, you make fun of them, you GI their rooms and all that dumb shit. I was the dude who was like, oh, fuck you, you're not my NCO, suck my dick,

tell my squad leader to come here and talk to me. Hey, E4 Mafia, never been about it. That's why I got my five and two and kept sending it my squad leader got me shit Right. He smoked me while feeding me booze on my 24 I got ran up and down a ski slope because we were in Vermont where there's snow up and down a ski slope Piss drunk until I vomited until 5 a.m. repeatedly. That's some good indoctrination right there. I just did it myself, bro. My 21st birthday, I remember I was getting smoked

at like 4 p.m. and then I woke up at my house at 5 a.m. like, ha! Where am I? I had my 21st birthday in a mountain water salt climber shit like No, that was that was in Vermont dude the army mountain warfare schools in Vermont

I was a I know the mountain warfare school is not at Polk but no it's from us all the same school So no no send you where were you stationed at then when you was in the guard, bro? I was a guard you I was on the guard bro I was on the guard for a while I'm gonna do service now Dude I got so fucking Oh there was like a whole investigation and shit When I was uh They gave us the morning off We didn't have to report until 10am Cause they knew it was my 21st birthday

I was the only young guy in this school And so they're like report at 10 But we had the first cadet girl ever Going through this school With a bunch of fucking Ranger bat boys That is the worst Fucking mistake I've ever heard mixing Ranger bad boys with first female ever with Not nothing could Guy it was all active and I was the only guard guy there. Oh, and then one girl

female in general with I was the only guard guy. It was all active, and I was the only guard guy there. Oh, and then one cadet girl. And then one cadet girl. The worst thing is female in general with bat boys, okay? And on top of that, we had a first sergeant going to the school with us, too. It was weird. There was eight people. There was eight of us, and there was an investigation because she was hitting on them. Then she wasn't, and then one of the dudes got beat up. We don't know what happened,

but I was, all I remember is the next door, the, the fucking cadre coming to me in the first turn in the schoolhouse, the sergeant major, the schoolhouse, everything coming. Cause I was like, you know,

19 and the brand new in the army. And they're like, so this is your fault. Cause they let us out for my 21st birthday. It was not good. And it was your birthday. It was your fault. It was my fault. It was a piece of it was your birthday it was your fault it was my

fault piece of shit dude i was they destroyed me then i had to go climb ice walls it was not good i woke up at 5 a.m the next day i was like what happened where am i and then uh i was with my military marriage because i got a contract marriage for the military. Because I'm a genius. Smart motherfucker. Hey, pay attention. Yo, big shout out to Ashley. We still friends. She's a fucking G. But she was like, yeah, I went and picked you up at like 6pm and you were shit wrecked.

Ennis was drunk, throwing up everywhere. You were on the curb like, I can't move. And then she's like, the curb like, I can't move. Smooth. I can't move. I share my phone with her. And then she's like, I'm in the middle of my phone. She's like, I drove you to your house

and then you just passed out until 5 a.m. And I woke up. I was like, ah! Ah! No hangover because I was like 21.

You wake up in the evening and you're like, all right! Let's go run. More! Yeah. At this age, it's like a Vegas shot show every day. We were waking up looks

I need a full day to recover like a bad night of drinking you're crying midway to know you have to drink dude We just cry do man Moses every at shot show every morning was those were delicious my first Yeah Did you get did you have because you're us were with you. Josh, there's a lot of me. Did you get, did you have, because you were in the military for your 21st, right? Yeah. Did you do, did you get pain? Oh, yeah, yeah. We went to Hooters, then the strip club, then we played Edward 40 hands.

But it turned into 80, it turned into Edward, like, 120 hands. Because we did, like, we did, like, six 40s. So. Have you, were you, like, just taping them up your arm and just going for it, or did you swap out? No, we just kept swapping out. You swapped out? Okay, okay, okay. And as you're drunk after the first two 40s, they're like, wait, you didn't finish that one.

I'm like, what? There's a duct tape going around the other end. Okay, we'll do it. You played that? Well, you don't know. Say he doesn't know Edward Fortyhands. Were you in the military? That's a new generation.

I don't believe this anymore. Do Edward Fortyhands. Nobody believes you, 40 hands no bro you get shit wrecked i'm if you do that in the the bro the chubby highlife 40s that were like fucking white so you have to duct tape two 40s to each hand and you can't pee okay i've seen this and you can't finish your 40s because you can't pee so you had to finish it. Well. Yeah, I never did brah I'm like when I said and not drink. I don't know nobody influenced me. I was like that sounds fucking Hey that sounds fucking stupid yeah, I'm pure. I'm fucking pure yeah Fuck you Ortiz Motherfucker

Where does Ortiz come from? Why are you Mexican? My dad I'm a weird Mexican Is he like 100% Mexican? My dad's That's a Mexican dude That's what I just realized I look white as fuck

Ortiz throws people You thought he was Mexican? That's why when he said he was white I'm like wait you look at Nico and think Mexican Home Depot look at his stupid fucking eyebrows you guys have the same hair swoop his just clearly hasn't been refined like yours yet

that's called fucking pomade that's called hair product not ethnic That's called fucking pomade. That's called hair product not Old fuck over here. Okay. He's done cutting it off. Okay. Oh, yeah, we should do another one though. Let's go. Yep. Oh god But yeah And he's like I shouldn't but yes Baby one go ahead you want to do that thing you want to do that thing that tank See see you making fun of me alive till 5 till five. Thankfully, I was only $200 to put on the table. Oh, shit.

Hey, are you going to cry on your birthday? Don't do it. I wasn't going to, but now I am. Thanks. You can share it if you want. I you feel I hate that more beard. That's hot dude. Yeah. Oh, it looks like Nico Super expensive alcohol, then he grabs baddies magic cards cards. He's like, I'm going to sop these up with your magic cards. Are you trying to fuck his birthday up? Do you have any collectible Pokemon cards that can dry this up?

On purpose, he's like, I'm going to spill that alcohol that's expensive. I'm going to fucking ruin his reputation. I got other shit planned. Just stay tuned, guys. It's fine. It's just the fancy towels. There's an important question to ask here. Who got Batty a birthday present?

What? Hey, who flew out here for him? You didn't fly out here for me. Why not? I did. This is a birthday weekend. I just came out here. He said it's your guy's birthday weekend.

I have the text to verify. I was trying to verify. Wow. Dang. I appreciate him. Hey, Cody. Thank you. I was trying to verify. Wow. Dang. I appreciate him. Hey, Cody. Thank you for getting me a birthday present. You're welcome.

Yours was over $600. Batty, I bought you a shot of... Shut the fuck up! I got you a shot of the... The place we were just at. The shitty tequila? That was the Don Julio. Yeah, the shitty tequila?

Don Julio makes decent... Cheers, boys! Cheers. I can't wait to go to Topgolf. Did you use his birthday present to soak up the alcohol you spent? We're going to pay for towels, I'm sorry. It's fine, it's okay. He said, he said, hey, it's our birthday weekend.

And I said, because we were trying to sign on a date for me to come out here. No, time out. He said, hey, it's our birthday weekend. And I said, because we were trying to sign on a date for me to come out here. No, time out. He said, hey, it's our birthday weekend. He said, it's your birthday. And then he said, it's his birthday as well. You said our. Do you want me to make a bunch of horses? Why did you fly out here for me or him?

Me or him. All three of you, because it's also for the unsub podcast. That's pretty cool. Thanks, man. I appreciate you. Thanks for coming out. Yeah, because people, I was like, hey, guys. I was just trying to figure out. Oh, no, I appreciate you. Thanks for coming out. Thanks, Niko. Yeah, yeah, yeah, because people, I was like, I was like, hey guys, like, I was just, I was trying to figure out, oh no, not my phone. I was trying to figure out a day to come down here, but once he said birthday, I was like, oh well.

If they tell me to fuck off on their birthday, that's fine too, but I want to be there for the birthday, you know? I appreciate you. Yeah. I appreciate you doing it way more though. No, and because, and it's a disclaimer, people thought I was getting paid to come out here when I told my stream that, yeah, they were like. Oh, I can't afford to pay people. No, they were like, how much are they paying you to fly out there, like, you know, to do that shit or whatever? I was like, no, no, no.

I was like, why do you guys think I don't operate with other people? I don't. We have friends. I live in Los Angeles. Yeah, it's called being friends. I was like, I live in Los Angeles. I was like, do you guys, not to be be a cock and I don't talk about all the time You know many people want to collaborate with me and I tell them to go eat fucking cock and sit in fire hydrants

Okay, LA people a lot fire hydrants. Damn. I tell me go sit on the fire I I'm about great business aspect to some things but that's not life I don't care about money building a relationship is far more important than money Okay, the reason I've done more things with you guys than everybody in L.A. is because there's a relationship. People tend to care about each other, and it's also something that's installed from the military. You know, you tend to care about the people that you like.

Not the drinking, though. Not that part. Not the just drinking part. I wasn't involved there very much. It's just picking drunk fucks up. But whatever, you know, still love them. But, yeah, I was like, I'm not getting paid. I was like, I'm going to hang out with, you know, friends and people I genuinely think

are good people, you know, not going out there to get paid, make money or nothing like that. And they have a simple set. It's as it should be. I don't know. You know, it's whatever I want it to be. Boy kisses. It's as it should be. It's working with individuals.

How long was it me, Cody, you guys, we were all across the u.s. Me Cody was in the Carolinas clean was from the fucking west coast I'm northern east coast New England and we all hung out for damn near two years every fucking day online talking Flying across the US every other fucking week just a bullshit or like what are we doing? Fuck this? We all moved to Texas like months. Within two months. It was super fast. Brandon Herrera. I didn't know it was like that.

But that's super sick. You guys should do something in depth about that. Well, it's like because it's actually good. No, but that's what I mean. But you guys should do something in depth about it because that's sick. People don't get friendships like that anymore. It's as it should be. It was like Batty was, I started streaming with Batty after our second Twitch. It friendships like that. It's as it should be It's like baddie was I started streaming with daddy after our second twitch

It was like click and then I knew donut and Utah we was started chit-chatting he you were running PUBG Service and your YouTube his YouTube was like 19,000 when I started talking to a donut so it was Yeah It was before you blew up. So yeah. Yeah. Before you came the baddest bitch. Now he's at 3 million, 4 million, whatever. Fucking big cock over here. But it was telling Batty. I remember having those conversations with Batty.

I was like, man, just fucking quit your job. Focus on this full time. Quit your job. Focus on that. I was working full time, streaming full time. Like that's a rough dude. And it's hard. I feel it. It's not easy. No. And then it's especially if you've never been in the media world. You're like

Risk safer. I guarantee when you like quitting being a police officer You were probably making X amount on YouTube before you like I can now transition No, you didn't cuz you were like cuz I jumped headfirst in yeah, you didn't. Because I jumped headfirst into it. Yeah, you were like, Mom. I'm living here now. I was like, I'm living in your basement now, Mom. But your mom's like, fuck yeah,

he bought me my very terrible car that she picked out. Mama operator. Mama operator, terrible choice. You are a human. That is the stupidest fucking vehicle I have ever seen. That was the worst $52,000 vehicle I've ever bought. choice worst 52,000 dollar vehicle of ever bought Jeep pile of shit, what are they called?

It's a Jeep yeah It's a Jeep the females of jeeps is no G it's Jeep or something else that no not in a fucking car. It's the Jeep truck though It's stop it Nico, so I don't Shit it's fucked. I gotta deal with this shit girls. This is him if you got hateful messages love each other just Send him all to him. He's beautiful though. You're not gonna send it to me. It's okay. I'll do the fuck boy face You make fun of fuck boys on tiktok cuz that's what you see no I did I look at dudes, and I'm just like Dudes on tiktok are the where they do that they just look into the camera and they just do the fucking with the music

Fucking like I'm a look sexy Go make bitches drown and then I'm just like make bitches Like oh he 25 26 Nico 25 26 Nico a bitch too, and I'm just like oh Stuck. He's be older like just like a little bit i love it i'll try but that's that's what happened was so donut lived at home but then he blew up baddie quit and then can continue to just fucking grow when you can invest good yeah but you got to invest all that hours into the job and we had those conversations everything as soon as i quit my job and I put like that extra effort into Twitch. And that's the thing. And then birthdays.

We had the we had a couple. They would just fly out and come visit and hang out. Had a good time. My favorite birthday ever. Stop it. And I will still say it's my favorite birthday ever. It was the one you missed. And you had a good reason.

I still he flew out and got to meet Freddie Wong because we played D&D with everyone. So that was like baddies that came out. i was like hey freddie's coming out baddie loves freddie we had a great time baddie fucking dms like a champion and then my birthday weekend it was a i don't like to invite i do not like to tell my friends like yo fly out or anything so it was like birthday weekend and everyone started buying tickets to fly out and hang out and donuts like it and clean both Y'all are like hey, man Why I get him an invite and I was like, but you think I'm gonna ask any of you to fly across

Started doing things. Yeah, and they just were by it's like, oh I can come I was like, I would love to have you here and they just buy a ticket fly out and then was it you Brandon clean? Yeah, I was talking to Matt. Yeah, and Brandon was like, hey, I yeah i was talking to matt yeah and brandon was like hey i'm going to eli's birthday i was like wait what you're going to eli's birthday can i go you're talking to me you it was me because i eli had said i think guys are coming over i don't know what's going on and i was like i didn't know and so you just jumped on it after me and you had a whole conversation about it yeah yeah and then i got texted like hey why didn't i get an invite i was like my it's not I promise you it's not that.

You are flying across country to hang out with a Mexican-Asian dude. And I think that's fucking weird. But it was the best weekend ever because we had six air mattresses at my house. We inflated them. We played video games all night long. We got tattoos. We got tattoos because of the tattoo. Will was over tattooing us.

It was, and Batty missed out on everything. What tattoos did y'all get? Oh. Smiley faces. Which was the weird part because I had just gotten the smiley face tattoo separately, like unrelated, a couple months later. I didn't tell anybody. And we all ended up with the same tattoo.

It was a fucking. It was a weird thing. It was a. Speaks. I don't have any smiley face tattoos. You don't have any smiley face tattoos? Maybe. I mean. I got to go. Never fuck with me again. Gotta join the crew. I got to try to go to In The House. It was a weird thing it was a You want to do you actually got a lip tattoo? That was my nickname in the army You didn't drink

No but I fucking shot It should say soft Yeah it looks soft until like They need to go die and I'm like yeah let me do it It's a lot of work to show After you kill them you're like guys Guess what? Dad bitch

Spit in their mouth again Spitting on people when they're dead fucking disrespectful I'm a Yeah, yeah hands-down favorite birthday I've ever had Just sent it on you there in him because he had Divorce Birthday top golf birthday top golf oh yeah we're no we gotta end now oh yeah batty end it thank you for watching the unsubscribe podcast today of course we have donut operator eli as always hi i'm batty and we have our special oh so very very special guest nico ortiz you can find him on tiktck or some shit. I don't know wait Nico What's your fucking numbers?

Numbers numbers give your Again Is savage that you know and quickly IP access for you guys but for next time I just got done being celibate for two years Wait are you for real? Deadass. Thank you for watching our podcast. I don't want to know anything more. Adios, everyone!

End it. We're not touching that? Nope. You gotta leave it for next time now, girl. It's his birthday. I don't want to know. I know! My face is just going to be like

getting to that where I'm like, huh? Oh, yeah.