Unsubscribe Podcast - 50 - Demo Ranch's Darkest Secret ft. Demolition Matt

Episode Date: April 20, 2022

Unsubscribe Ep50 - Demoranch's Darkest Secret ft. DemolitionMatt FIFTY EPISODES. WE MADE IT TO FIFTY. HOW???? HONESTLY PLEASE TELL ME HOW WE DID THIS WITHOUT GETTING CANCELED??? Well, since y'all let us make it this far, we have a VERY special episode for you. Our MAIN MAN @DemolitionRanch IS BACK!!!! AND BOY DOES HE SPILL ALL THE BEANS. EVERY Dark secret that there is about DemoRanch!!!!! Are the guns really his!? is he really 7ft tall?? DOES HE LIKE THE CUMSUBSCRIBE SHIRTS???? DOES NO ONE REALLY TELL MARE?!?!?!?!!?!??!?!? GO CHECK OUT DEMOLITION RANCH!!! @DemolitionRanch @OffTheRanch @Vet Ranch https://www.youtube.com/user/DemolitionRanch https://www.youtube.com/user/mlcarriker https://www.youtube.com/user/VetRanch MERCH: https://www.bunkerbranding.com/pages/unsubscribe-podcast CHECK OUT https://outofregz.com/ CODE: UNSUB http://gfuel.com/discount/baddie CODE: BADDIE ------------------------------ WHERE TO LISTEN Spotify https://spoti.fi/2Ye8YOU Apple Podcasts https://apple.co/3cbqY4k Amazon https://amzn.to/2YbzQia Google Play https://bit.ly/2YcWmaD Stitcher https://bit.ly/3cbnY8o ------------------------------ Follow the Cast of Unsubscribe -Baddie- @Baddie Streams https://www.twitch.tv/baddie https://twitter.com/BaddieStreams https://www.instagram.com/baddiestreams/ https://www.youtube.com/baddiestreams -DonutOperator- @Donut Operator @Operation Donut https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwkm_Wcyh0pc7UUmZZfL-6w https://www.youtube.com/c/DonutVlogs https://www.instagram.com/donutoperator/ https://www.twitch.tv/DonutOperator https://twitter.com/DonutOperator -Eli_Doubletap- @Eli Doubletap https://www.instagram.com/eli_doubletap/ https://www.twitch.tv/Eli_Doubletap https://twitter.com/Eli_Doubletap https://www.youtube.com/c/EliDoubletap ------------------------------ Edited by Fluck https://www.twitch.tv/fluck Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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I'm just gonna be nice to Batty again today. This is why I don't. I was a hero last time. No, you're not! Alright, I'm not talking. Get in here! I poured a little baby shots We'll go right to the line. It's okay, man. We'll get you an uber home Yeah, you don't have to teach kids soccer Give me a new shot glass. There's a bug in mine drink it welcome to Betty's house

What is this that looks like a bug yeah has a hundred percent poverty tub I don't know that's that's have you not heard of dishes Why is it bugs living I use like three shot glasses. I don't need 40 shot glasses You're not you're missing the point of why bugs are living in your shot glasses Cuz they've been sitting on top of a cabinet in the back with the dust for four months There's a bug float in mine too Dude, I think there's two bugs

Yeah, look Oh God what is that the bottom? There's two is that dust? I got two bugs in my hand. You have Demolition Ranch Matt here, and you're like, here's my fine silverware. You wrote out the good China. I have four brand new clean ones in my dishwasher right now, but I grabbed the other ones.

Welcome to episode 50. Things are really, really good. Eli is racially ambiguous and batty. things are really hard hey guys thanks for watching the subscribe podcast make sure wherever you're listening or watching whether it's on YouTube Castro Spotify Apple Google Amazon Podbean Stitcher or at podcast um make sure wherever you're listening or watching whether it's on youtube uh castro spotify apple google amazon podbean stitcher or that's all of them please leave a comment uh

like it thumbs up it give it a rating of five stars whatever you do it helps the podcast out immensely and donut and eli will be very happy if you do that. And we want to make Donut Eli happy today. Yeah. Five stars on everything. And a comment if there is possible. Because we need to be at the top. Donut, say something motivating. And that's where the... That is... Come subscribe.

There we go. Protein. Protein. That wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. Shh. Hi, everyone. Unsubscribe podcast here. Uh-oh. We're on.

What? Do we? Hi, everyone. Unsubscribe podcast here. This is officially episode 50. I'm joined today by Fatty Streams, Eli DoubleFap, and DimwishinWunch. Hi. That's it.

That's all I got in me. Now I'm not talking to Batty for the rest of the episode. 50 episodes. We didn't get canceled yet. That's pretty good. That's weird. What a great episode, guys. See you next week.

That's all that gets uploaded for episode 50. They're like, what the fuck? It was a minute and 20 seconds. One minute of them just yelling about baddies. I have bugs in my body because of baddie. This is what kills me. It's a joke. Don't tell Mare. Std It's a joke. No tell mayor

Sure he knows I'm gonna baddies play. She's like great We're a condo I Forget that I regret hanging out He said yeah, okay Is your AC not on cranking right now is it yeah Do we do your cameras get above the waist can I take my pants yeah, yeah, I'm here percent Yeah, it was 78 degrees when we came in the house they see us cranking right now Why wasn't on before we got I didn't sleep last night, and I forgot to turn on before I left

You have an automatic about you are perspiring Head is freshly shaved Beating sweat right now. I got the quotes for our warehouse for the studio today. That's great I see it has a see we have a see in our new studio I got the quotes for our warehouse for the studio today. That's great, instead of AC. It has AC. We have AC in our new studio and it's gonna look really really cool. You're bad at your livings, it's gonna be so empty when we take all this stuff. Did you not say that? I know!

All these dragons, there it goes! No more dragons! Hey, last time I was here you only had two dragons on this show. Yeah, there's a lot. Look at this one. Look, I got dragons up there too! I hate dragons, but it's looking sick. Thanks man. I love dragons. Dude, what? I too. I hate dragons, but it's looking sick. Thanks, man. Yeah dragons do What you love you hate animals, so you're saying no just would you rather make believe ones?

Okay, let's just come Dragons call right there. Oh, never real take it back. How are his ears still they have bones in their ears There it's like a stegosaurus Which was a stegosaurus fake to pony ears? Stegosaurus dinosaur dinosaur ears they don't have a stupid they had spines on the back. It's the same shit Why can't that be the same shit? They were wings? No Back in fucking the Jurassic period?

I just know the second story is the Stone Age. What? Back in the fucking Stone Age is when the dinosaurs were walking around? Again, I didn't sleep. Let's just calm down. This dude was like, I was like, what's clockwise? He was like left. I was like, Cause if you rotate the clock Clockwise is which way now go clockwise which direction is that the same is close left? That's right left though. You never talk about the bottom when you're in my bed I got it counterclockwise steering wheel steering wheel and you say turn left which way is the wheel go? Down or going left The comments were like, fuck Matty, but he was right.

No, they weren't. That was because we were trying to be nice to you. You're a piece of shit. Like, everyone right now is like, Matty, when you turn left, what do you do? The top of the- But you don't turn the clock. Your turn is moving. The clock isn't moving.

The fucking hand is moving. You're not going to win this battle moving Even though you want it you're never Hate to be married No, it's going left! I wanted to- I hate you! UGH! Fuckin' G. Oh no. How you been, buddy? You been fuckin' doing good? Yeah, what number was I on before? Do y'all remember? 25. So like halfway? You made that up.

100%. It is our most popular podcast. How does it feel being able to crush every single other person? 30. Episode 30. See, that was close. Yeah, it was pretty good. The one I wasn't on. The one that Donut wasn't here on. It was really good. Now for our next test.

Donut, can you leave for five minutes? We're going to see if there's a spike in the viewership at this moment. Am I ever really here? That's the question. Between PTSD moments and not talking to Batty. Am I really on the podcast? What's going on with this not talking to Batty? You guys beefing or what? No, people just pointed out that I don't talking to Batty. Am I really on the podcast? What's going on with this not talking to Batty?

You guys beefing or what? No, people just pointed out that I don't talk to Batty. I never realized it. So people realize that the beef is happening. You see how he puts his hand in between us? It's like a subconscious. It's always the body language. Batty, can we build a wall of claws here?

It would be funny. It would be like a stick so I don't have to look at you. So does Batty talk to Donut? Yeah. Okay, so it's a one-way thing like a marriage Can we clarify we've been mean to batty again? No, no, we're not being mean to batty those up when you were mean to batty they started going down Really do it except for the Leon one that one Leon you suck But you are our least performing episode. What a terrible guest you were. Just now shit on old guests.

It was such a good podcast, too. What? But it did not do good? No. It was a funny-ass podcast, though. I want to watch it. I love Leon Lush. You watch episode 30, and that's it, right?

I watched episode 30 and part of Drewski's one, whatever he was in. That was the one where he showed up at at baddies and no one was there Drew come to come to baddies. We had a podcast for you. Okay, and then baddie was asleep and no one else was there Got him. He also didn't knock or ring the doorbell you get man. Yeah, I'm actually surprised. I'm not sweating more I use this what a lot, but no I look over at batty I just think listening Sweating my left nut off He works out I just sweat It's a great diet also depression and white claw probably a little bit of caffeine yeah

Oh, yeah, not sleeping the best diet he is set oh my god okay so we have a list of things to go through oh no i gotta tell my story first oh okay story story okay we're just story first it's not super long either so it's fine can i just say that i i don't i don't you haven't said one they have not told me one thing that we're going to talk about today yeah we don't ever know okay we don't kind of make it up this is probably the most prepared we've ever been for a podcast, actually. Eli's got an entire list of shit, and I had two things I wanted to talk about. Okay, let's do the story.

I was like, was it Mark from Cumalicious coming on? I'll prep some questions. We'll be good to go. The Cumalicious. Welcome to the Cumalicious, guys. Oh, no. That shirt's going to come out. They discussed changing their name to that.

Yeah. Technically, we have two days to make this shirt possible why this comes out on Wednesday The presses are Fuck these guys. If you're into the ground. If you guys didn't know, Bunker Branding is his, and that's who makes our come subscribe shirts. And they're on our front page, apparently. They were. They're not anymore, but if you buy a bunch right now, we can get them back on that front page.

Let's get that number right. That's so hilarious. When we first released them, guys, if you didn't notice, if you go to BunkerBranding.com. A nice family website Doom font which is even better It's literally the doom font. So you're like yeah, we have to figure out as a company like where to draw the line and We're gonna get there with these guys Too far too far the come alicia's here. No. I just want to see how many people wear that to your events

I will not sign that can we use your likeness? no, can you look in that camera? Just say you have No idea bad he has a story that we're gonna listen to the other day on stream We were talking about I don't know 69 like the sex number Cody. Can you hand me some logs? This gonna be a long one that's rude why are you rude already what you were so mean to me today i was not even hard i was barely mean i was normal mean is the story going so one of my mods in my twitch channel was telling us about his ex-girlfriend or some shit and how they were 69. You know, the two consenting adults do the thing where... The thing. The thing.

The sex number, right? Nice. It sounds like you've never had sex. I don't think you're explaining 69 to everyone. I've had so much sex. Probably more than anyone else ever. Guys, I've done the sex a lot. Three times.

At least. At least. You got the trophies. You got the sex trophies. You only use it to rope it. I don't know if you've done it as many times as me. Cause I've done it three. How did you? I approve. My three children.

What's a girl? Oh fuck. So, and he was talking about how he used to always 69 on this girl, but She would never ever Be on top And he's a bigger dude. This is a smaller. I got this conversation So I wear this going okay I just like, that's a big dude in a small car. Just like, that.

Why wouldn't she be on top? She didn't like it. She just liked the asshole in her face more. All I can think about is just the whole time. Right? Just balls slapping on her forehead. And a butthole in her face. Like, dude buttholes aren't cool.

No, it looks like a fucking Dude sometimes you're on an elbow right on some sheets and you slip That's it. That's dangerous. Oh, he killed her And then she got mad at him she got mad at him cuz Apparently a ball caught her in the eye and this turned into like a big argument and he showed me the texts of her they're fighting over it oh yeah there was a fight over an actual like ball in the eye so what do they say what how do you argue are you mad she was mad that she got slapped in the face by a ball apparently maybe wait is she fucking isaac

i just i just needed to share this with the world because it just doesn't... Be on top. What the fuck? Have you seen The Mountain Thor? Yes. Oh my god. It's not...

I don't know how that happens. She's 400 pounds and she's 100. Remember how we showed the bad dragons the other day yes like a top i just it doesn't make sense it doesn't oh there was a meme about that it's like she's like the tiny little usb stick it's like a giant it makes zero sense it's not right i just i I'm assuming they do 69 the exact same way. I just now am super happy because his photos yesterday was family

photos at church for Easter. And now he's immediately back. He's like, gotta tell a story. I regret I didn't tell you this podcast. Never again. This is the last time. And I'm done. Episode 100. We'll see you at 100. I will never be back.

I needed to share that. I knew Eli would enjoy that as much as we're arguing right now. How do you feel about it? Are you like a bottom 69 guy? I can't talk about it. See, here's the deal. Guys, one in chat. If Matt is a bottom 69 guy or Tilly is a top 69 guy.

My channel, we don't talk about this kind of stuff, obviously, because it's not right. My kids talk about it, but I get loosened up on this because I'm like, my kids are never going to watch this. But still, I can't discuss this, guys. No, you can't. You know what? I'm going to be married for 14 years in a a couple months so congratulations you know why because you're number one because you don't stream cum on your videos oh man how have your videos been doing uh pretty good yeah nice we saw the mansion pictures this morning that house is looking oh god it looks

good yeah i'm gonna get y'all come up there for a party oh the shit the the new hq looks really We saw the mansion pictures this morning. Dude, that house is looking... Oh, God, it looks nice. It's looking good, yeah. I'm going to get y'all to come up there for a party. Ooh, the shit. The new HQ looks really nice, too. Dude, it looks... I was just watching that yesterday. It just got painted, too, on the inside. It looks...

Oh, I just saw you had the foam and stuff out. It's painted black and dark and Dungeony. You would love it. It's Dungeony? Put some dragons in there. So, wait, you're saying for Halloween... Yeah. Haunted...

Haunted... Haunted warehouse. Dude, let's make a haunted maze. For who? Just us? I mean, Halloween. Yeah. Haunted. Haunted. Haunted warehouse. Dude, let's make a haunted maze. For who? Just us? I mean, yeah. For four guys. For adults.

Or punch the kids that try to use it. Take that second child. I can't go trick or treating, John. I'm going to the haunted adult maze. Get rid of kids. Fuck you, man. I'm going to be the chainsaw guy in there. Sure. Nice. As long as there's white cloth at the end of kids. Fuck you, man. I'm going to be the chainsaw guy in there. Sure.

Nice. As long as there's white cloth at the end of the puzzle, I'm game. Or at the beginning, too. Throughout it. Can I carry them the whole time? Can we just not make a maze and just go drink white cloths? Yeah. I like this idea.

This is great. This sounds like a social experiment with Batty now. It's like, put a white cloth at the end of something and I'll figure it out. Mice have been trained to do a lot. Who knows what I can learn? Marriage didn't help, but... Oh, my God. I'll do it.

Okay. Are we doing a list? Oh, yeah. We're going first. When's the last time we had a list? Dude, I know. It's been so long since we did... It's been like 20 episodes.

I never do these. Usually we did what? Video game like 20 episodes since we made this. I never do these. Usually we did what? Video game questions last time. You did decent. About 50% probably. Yeah, you were at a 50-50. You were better at old school Nintendo games than Nintendo 64, which you claimed was your bread and butter.

I was wrong. Yeah. I thought I'd be good, but I missed Perfect Dark. Yeah, it was perfect. It's been a lot of time. Perfect Dark is so good. First, superpowers. These are questions or just topics? These are topics. Super are topics superpowers. We're gonna start early on this one superpowers because I have that Do you know how the offenders work? No

Betty donut So the offenders is like the Avengers but a little different We have superpowers, but in order to use your superpowers or for them to work, you have to have an offset ability. Like I can fly, but the only way I can stay in flight is if I shout racial slurs. Okay, cool.

And did you pick this? How did you come about? I don't know how I got to that. I think I picked offset. So he suggested you accept it. You said I would take it. Sure. I just picture like low- He said I would take it. Sure. I just picture low-income housing, and he's going to fly and save it.

You're like Mexican. I'm going to section 8 housing. It's my people, and I'm like, go on, donut, save them. Go on. Fly and save them. The only way to save them is if I say this. I'm sorry, ma'am. So mine was super strength, but I cum whenever I eat.

Somebody made a suggestion in the comments that was actually pretty good. They said I should be able to get painfully loud voice shit. And I was like... That makes sense. So if you're saving a school bus of children, you're like... But like... They're hearing my vinegar strokes miles away. Outstanding. And I just feel like that makes it worse. They're hearing my vinegar strokes miles away Wars have started real quick. I'm gonna make a quick

You know change there. Yeah, I like it. What is the superpower? One I can go fucking so fast. That's your power. Yep travels the speed of light. Oh but Well in real life, I'm Asian and I have lactose intolerance and then my stomach's super irritable anyways So I shit anyways all the time so in order to activate this power Brown streak Where's the life all the fucking line No No, I got the back

You have a belt I pictured this is like Batman's utility belt I think cuz that's actually pretty hilarious. So in order to activate your teleporting powers, you have to euthanize a kitten. Every time in order to do this. So you're like. So I have a sack full of kittens? Yeah. Or a utility belt of kittens.

Chicken's real bad, you start swinging the bag. I need to kill like four for this one. Alright, yeah, I mean I would only use it if I needed to. If I could save a human life, I'd kill a kitten, sure. But every time. Every time I save a human? Yeah. What's like the guy on X-Men that can like, poof? Yeah, it's gonna be like that.

But every time he does like a poof somewhere, he has to like... Just pop that flashbang or something. It's a fucking Is that a glow stick? It's a glow stick It's just a glow stick until the kitten's life leaves its eyes There's like a bunch of kids, he's in a burning house

So instead of a big puff of smoke when he leaves, there's just a dead kitten That's his trail You just see a kitten's dead body I'd like to welcome you officially to the offenders I like the idea of That's his trail? You just see a kitten's dead body. I'd like to welcome you officially to the offenders. I like the idea of slowly. I just like, you're just like the needle.

Yeah, you're like, you just jab it. The kid's like, I'm sorry. You have to think of the news, too. It's like you show up to this burning building news. It's like, Jim, I was here to save them and you're like Take out one kit He's gone his dad all right here's the deal what happens when I pull up and there's like a burning tree There's a kitten in the top of it. I'm like

Which one I pull up and there's like a burning tree and there's a kitten in the top of it. And I'm like, which one? The fire department's got this one. I'm not needed here. Schrodinger's kitten. You're just killing a kitten. Yeah, he's just like, I'm late for dinner. You're abusing it. God, I really gotta go to the bathroom.

I don't want to get out of bed. Stop. The traffic is terrible today. I don't want to get out of bed Like 40 more kittens, and I just don't want to sit in this traffic all day. One less kitten. Come on. You have a couple extra kittens, you're like, I guess I don't need to open my truck, dork. Into the house. You're landing bad in the remotes across the city. You gotta, you gotta, that's two kittens, one to get there, one to get back.

Exactly. Family vacation! Let's form a circle, everyone hold hands, a little kitten's like, meow! So there's five people in my family, is that five kittens or is that one? If you do it one at a time, you psychopath! There we go! Yeah, Dima's like, wait, I could've- I can touch people in groups? I said, it's like, yeah!

He said, oh man, I killed lots of innocent kittens. That's a real fucked up learning curve. You're just testing kitten piles. I'm going to the local shelter. They're like, it's so great that you adopted so many kittens. I'm like, yeah, I'm great. They just put them in this brown sack. That was a little too old.

That probably won't work. This is a brown sack. He's like, oh, that cat's 14. This is so funny. Oh, that cat's 14. You might not have my favorite power. What's Leon's? Oh, his was good. Telekinetic. He can read minds.

Yeah, he's got telekinesis. He can control people. Yeah. The offset was his spouse or any future spouse can read his mind at any moment. So no matter what, they're always. Yeah, that's good if you're good. But if you're a man, even a good guy. We have thoughts.

Why are you wearing horse blinders? Nothing. You're just like. Ha, ha, ha. I never can see again. I'm fine with this. Dude, Meat Canyons was pretty good, too. Oh, God.

He came up with his negative real quick. He came up with his own negative. I was like, Hunter, are you okay? He can stretch. So he was like, I can stretch. Yes, because he's like, as an obese man. Elastic Girl, that's your go-to? Not like the Fantastic Four? Who is Elastic Girl? I just watch Incredibles and Incredibles 2. stretch girl yes cuz he's like as an obese girl that's your go-to not like

the Fantastic Four who is the girl I just watch Incredibles and Incredibles 2 and it's awesome okay I was so good three is alright I haven't seen that one yet let me see it is it out there's some incredible story I think they made any code maybe I'm running you have children so I don't know but I love the Incredibles did a really good series okay this guy can stretch what's his his, whatever you said, bad one? Mick Kenyon's bad one. He can stretch because I just liked his picturing stretching because he was like, I'm an overweight guy,

so I think it's hilarious because then you have my stretch marks also like wrapping guys up. It's like the, was it? The map of the Missouri River. Yeah, that's what he called it. And we're like, what's your offset? He's like, oh, that's easy. I have to beat the shit out of my wife.

I was like, Jesus Christ. He's like, I need two black eyes and a chipped tooth in order to activate my power. And you're like, you came up with that very quickly. Like really quickly, bro. I've been trying to activate my powers for years. Holy fuck, man. Not working yet. Oh, man.

So yeah, that's the offenders. We're going to eventually get a big piece of art with all. Yeah, we're going to have Nick Cannon draw it. He's actually drawn it. He's going to be holding a dead kid in his hand. Yeah. It's just going to be like, ah! Just head in one hand body twisted

What was your outfit? We gotta give him a tell like the teleporters in X-men they both have tells there's a red one and a blue one Yeah that's right There's a little devil tail There's a red one The red one was the evil one when it showed the How What was it it was where Magneto got started when he

was hunting down all the Nazis and killing them orange it not or origins was they did all the origin stories there was the X-men first class yeah that's when they started they revamped it and they did first class yeah but they had the red guy and he had knives and he would just teleport be like and just fucking kill everyone in the room that That's what I would do. What would be your outfit? Like, do you wear a Dill Militia shirt? A Cum-a-licia? Cum-a-licia?

That's y'all, not me. I don't know, man. Just like him up here. He's like, Dill Militia shirt. It's like, I don't know. A kitten died for this to happen. Yeah, would people ever like to see the... Would your fans show up with kittens for you?

Please, please. Can you take me to Aruba real quick? What's the fan base that's just like... Oh my god. I've always wanted to go to Disney. It's like we're at brunch and Matt just pops out of nowhere and we're all just like,

God, Jesus, dude. We know what you did for this. It's like there's HQ. Come on, and we're all just like god Jesus. We know what you did We're in downtown Bernie And I have a cage full of kittens. That's what he just says. He's mad with just a thumbs up and a crate of kittens behind a brown sack. You want paws out of the brown sack. I'm thinking we show up, like you guys are like, hey we need to assemble, like there's some bad stuff happening. We're like, okay, and I just show up and I've just got a crate of kittens. Like, what are we doing today? It's everywhere we go.

Oh man. Forgot about Matt's power. This sucks. This This is gonna be terrible Matt's gonna make the kids cry bad He's gonna make him cry because he's gonna be coming Least that high school was saved the elementary school like there's some movie like that where they all had terrible superpowers Like 20 years ago. Oh, it was the Smash Mouth did this song for it oh yeah like one guy farted a ton and like it was like what was it called fuck and the one guy could go invisible but only when no one was looking at him it was a bit stiller it been stiller was the main character yeah he was like super angry but why can I remember you yeah you're right was it called because they were actually in the music video the smash mouth? Yeah

Smash mouth You guys stole this whole idea Did you look I just look I just brought it like wait let me find bad ratings and it was just no I got them did anything by DC this instill or super precious hero movie is it 25 years ago stream in mystery men yeah there it is nice hell hell when it come out dude 1999 oh my god we're always fuck we are so old I mean tag that's 60% that is is that passing read Read their powers. I don't know if we'll have it listed somewhere. The one chick could throw bowling balls really well.

Her dad's skull was in the bowling ball. How do I remember this? Oh, yeah, they can control it, too. Betty, you've never seen this? William H. Macy was good with a shovel. I mean, if it was 25 years ago, I was basically a child. Yeah, I was. I remember vacationing in Orlando and kind of was 14 when that came out listening to the same song Parents in Orlando we would

Without worthy jealous service using was that alter? Hey, Fluck, you should cut that part out. Fluck, leave it in. Almost teleported. We're leaving it all in. Okay, so. The offenders. Check. The offenders. Done. The people needed to know. That was a good question.

See, this is what I'm talking about. Now, this is a good one, too. Okay, this is going to be a mixture of fucking this. I already know the comments. No, we're going to mix the offenders and 69. I know. You know it does get good because people flip the fuck out of it. Already know the comments the offenders and 69 What the fuck out of it when you but wipe your butt first do you stand or sit second? Do you fold your toilet paper or scrunch it in a ball? All right? How do you stand and wipe your butt people do that?

I think baddies is like a new wiper really? That's weird I don't fold you kill kids and you kill trees Jesus Christ. I know like I was younger. I was a crumb. I even tried to fold but I'm like, I don't have time for this. How don't you have time to fuck? No, I just gotta get out of here. People who stand and wipe, like, who does that? No, we can ask him why he fucking crumples. We'll get to that. You're obviously a stander. I sit and wipe.

I actually didn't know anyone stood and wiped. That's like a 50-50. It's actually crazy. Like, you just do that? Yeah. That's just uncomfortable. That's weird. You just go, boo. You just, eh. Do we go on uncomfortable. That's weird You just do we go on like another no one

Just keep adding ones into you Being like in this is an army a veteran thing going to like any kind of shitty post you remember when the stall there was No stalls. It was just the holes on the bench Yeah, and you had to shit with all the guys and you'd be like leaning into each other like sorry man That's a thing. Yeah, sometimes you gotta go and there's like three dudes just three stalls and you're just like thigh to thigh So there's my stalls usually holes. There's not actually wall. It's literally a bench crazy with three holes in it You just kind of shit next to you. Yeah, there's like a roll to it. We're just sitting on it Like it's not interesting you remember how uncomfortable everyone was like the first day of boot camp

Who's never been naked around another dude didn't play sports or something by the end of it. You're just shit on a log next Wearing their underwear in the shower, and it's like yeah, so it's awkward you're just like Just sweating somewhere down south just but you get to see, yeah, standing and wiping. Standing and sitting are like a 50-50 and crumpling. Really? 50-50 on that? Yeah, it's a fucking. We should ask this on Twitter, do a poll.

Oh, yeah. Because I did. I think we were streaming one night. I was like, no, Batty, watch. And they were like, yeah, stand. And you're like, what the fuck? Why? There's so many people that stand and wipe. He's going to ask on Twitter right now. To Right fair. I think it's more. It's not like a stand. You're not like it's a hover

It's your weird leaner, but both cheeks are off. Oh, yeah off the seat. That's wild. It's a weird fucking It's a weird thing. I'm not gonna. I've tried it. It's I doubt it. I'm gonna try it now But I was like in weird, but I tried it but I know I should Do you use normal toilet paper or wet baby wipes? No normal Really? I'd say sit or stand Cause it

It gives that like Cheeks on or cheeks off The toilet scene Cheeks on cheeks off So I'm branching out. I got a bidet. That's great. I can't use it because my toilets are out. That was good.

All my toilets are broken right now in my house so I don't want to hook it up and ruin it, but I have one. I have a bidet story. I went to my friend's house one time. You need to start this differ. What's his name? It was actually his parents' house. It was his graduation, his college graduation party.

We go to his parents' house in Houston. Oh, so this was a minute ago. Yeah. This was in the early heydays of bidets in the U.S. Yes, it was one of those electric seats that goes on top of a normal toilet, but it's got the little bidet thing. Okay. So I sit down. I've never seen one in my life. It has a keypad next to the toilet yeah that's kind of and i'm like oh dang

like i've never tried this i have to try i didn't need to go number two i needed to just pee but i was like i gotta try this so i sit down and it has levels it has like the low levels and then like it gets higher you turned on the fucking pressure washer it. It starts at the lowest level is feminine wash and the highest level is turbo enema So I'm like all right, I'm gonna go easy first. I'm gonna try feminine wash so I like and they're here What's gonna happen Turns out feminine wash just goes a little more forward so just spray me right in the balls. That makes sense. That checks out okay. I'm gonna need 30 more minutes on this thing. I was like well I've been in the bathroom too long now so I'm just gonna go ahead and hit turbo enema like let's crank it up and so I can get out here and get back to the party.

Oh god. So I hit turbo enema and I tightened everything. You are not winning this battle toilet seat anyway it blasted me got me all clean, and I went back to the party But I was pretty much it yeah, who was about it did not penetrate That verbiage I would blasted me and it got me clean, and I left to the party That was a very detailed story right until it was it wasn't a detailed story And then I ended it And then I clutched real hard and I walked away. I'm still, I'm still. Have you seen my wife and three kids?

Totally just love my wife and three kids. But anyway, that's the only time I ever tried a bidet. How is it? I can't use them. All my, my, uh, my master toilet and my bathroom are broken right now. And I don't want to hook it up. Is yours just a top that goes on a regular toilet too? Well, you have to take off the whole seat and everything

And you have to actually hook it up to the water intake and everything But it's like a It's a fancy bidet Is the water warm? I don't know Yeah, if you've never been in Japan Was that a kitten? That sounded like it

You run off and just He walks and he teleports right after coming back. What did you do? Nothing? I did nothing. Don't go in that room. He says, don't talk. Do the kittens teleport with me or do I leave them behind?

You leave them behind. You make a great villain. Jesus Christ. I just, I'm very excited to set up a bidet. Cody, have you ever used a bidet? No, I've never had a bidet. Hold on.

I just, I'm sorry. I just thought about him, like, teleporting into a burning building, and there's a little girl sitting there with her kitten. And Matt's like, oh, wow. Is this bad? He's like, oh, no. And he's like, sorry, little one. no. And he's like, sorry little one. Let me mess with your kitten first.

Poof. You're like, don't look crunch. I've never used a bidet though. Have you? Oh, in Japan, that's every toilet has a bidet there.

Nice. That's the standard. Japan has, I will fucking always complain about this. Japan's toilet systems are the nicest. They have alcohol wipes and everything for when you have your, Japan has I will fucking always complain about this Japan's toilet systems are the nicest they have Alcohol wipes and everything for when you have your in the bathroom next to each stall so you can clean your fucking toilet So you spray down they have ones that rotate so it's just a little machine wise or counterclockwise

It's a little machine that just goes around the rim of the toilet scrubs it real quick and says Left with our arrow pointing, right? It's just a clock And then it plays the music like a tropical storm or whatever so you people can't hear you shoot Yeah, you have music settings so people can't hear you dumping out or whatever So you choose that and then you get what is the night japan does it fucking nice clean and i were talking yesterday about doing a japan trip with all the boys 100 take a couple camera guys and like just make some really cool

it's a blast like we go to koenji that's like out of the District that a tourist so it's actually in the community in the tourist district, please don't take me anywhere else No, you want to like that's what I ran into the Yakuza people. They were like fucking gangsters Yakuza's it'll be great. They would stop everyone walking my our place was down in the alleyway shit at you. It'd be great I'm gonna give me a thumbs up because they started knowing I was the tattooed American dude walking by and like good tattoos nice Got you got sue. I just walked by their little got sue means Yeah, no, pal come on like and I'd walk by their little prostitute things and then Yeah, cuz it's legal they will they have their call actually I'll go If you 69 never it's when two people they the guys are you ever watched a hamburger Hi everyone out of regs here This is our water-based pomade

It's good for your hair It's good for angry cops bald head He liked it for some reason It smells really good It's like adult play-doh This flavor And you have your own Don't have

We have surprise news I was just gonna wait here We're getting baddie his own beard cream to It's like a movie trailer we don't know when it's gonna come out This has been so since I became a streamer and I have a fat beard I was just like I want like a baddie fucking beard looks nice today I got a haircut today like tomorrow. It's gonna be a messy. I wanted oh my god, but it's probably sweaty It's like so snow go down. You gotta go down. I know but I wanted to feel like against

I like I like feeling with sandpaper. Yeah, I like when you feel it, too That's why I'm mad like 60 He's probably cheating on me and we're sitting here like oh, that is so cool. My boy, sweet. Sweet. Yeah, Batty's getting his own thing so we're gonna be working on designing his little color or his You will probably use the exact same shit you've already have and that will be your can design Make it loud or whatever and then we just get to choose uh I'm so excited to put myself in my beard.

So get your donut mustache stuff, and then you got baddie beard stuff. Baddie stuff out of regs.com. Use promo code unsub, unsubscribe, unsub20. There is so many now because Joe just adds them. He's like, you guys literally have people just typing because it shows. Whatever you say will give you 20% off. Yeah, they just type in. He's like you guys literally have people just typing because it shows He's like people just type in random fucking shit to try to get you guys don't Type income

Come 20 20 just so we have to make that a discount code now. What's the last video game you played? Oh my god This is a good question. I call it duty Like during which charity that was the one we all play together well That was seriously the last time you played me do I still play sometimes yeah wait like you will just yeah Just for fun like not streaming. Do you play with your kids and just stomp them in it? No, I just I play alone at night. Yeah 11 o'clock at night Why have you never hit a war zone I play the other one what's it looks like the actual duty Yeah, modern warfare do you single single player or just like matches?

Yeah, do you know what? The Internet I just shoot things on the internet. No. Yeah, I go play. Have you played through the single player, like the night missions where you have to kill Osama bin Laden? No. It's got the dopest single player maps.

Yeah, especially the night modes. I started when it first came out. I did a few of them, and then I never kept doing it. Bro, you got to do the Osama bin Laden killing. All right. I'm doing it tonight. It's so fun. We've talked about it.

I think we got his first dub on PUBG. Probably, yeah. We were together. We were playing that. I remember that. That was fucking... I'm so happy right now. Video game box.

Check. Was I there for that one? Maybe. It was years ago. Because we played Tarkov. You remember playing Tarkov? Oh, yeah. We talked about this last time when you weren't here.

Yeah. It was all about Slam and Drew. Him or him. You killed Eli. I was the only one left at the end of it was like what happened who died I just wanted to see if I could kill like Eli or something and I could yeah, and most people can On my team like he didn't know I was gonna shoot him I was standing next to him I was like This is still on operator Drew skis channel by the way guys if you want to check that out. Oh is that where it was? Yeah Drewski put it up. Is it getting hotter in here?

I think it is. It's getting colder. I'm starting to sweat now. Yeah I'm not sweating anymore. Yeah I know my body is just like... We're probably at like a solid 71 now instead of 79 when you came in. Feels good. It takes like a solid 71 now instead of 79 when you came in. Feels good. It takes like a solid 40 minutes. Sweating with the bullies.

This is central air. Yeah, I need to get my new thermostat. I just, I have it. I just don't know how to install it. Because I can't find the breaker to shut off the power. There is no breaker, apparently. We went over this before. Matt is electric is hot all the time.

It's dangerous. There's one wall that I can't get to turn off, no matter which breaker I flip. Yeah, you get the shotgun and go shoot the power line down to shut the power off. Yep. Texas. We melted the fucking...

Guys, that's what we did. We melted some cables last time. The AC's on. Batty, you just poured ice in buckets in the corners of your room. And then the fan blows up. It's circulating. I can't wait till we move this. This is great. Do we go high? Oh, sorry. Let's be cool. It's circulating. I can't wait to leave.

This is great. You got high? That's going to be cool. That's going to be dope. I'll show you guys that after. It's going to be cool. It's going to be so nice. Okay.

Zombies. You've heard of them. Yeah. Shot a few, I think. Killed several. Kidding. What would be your go-to fucking zombie gun? Ooh.

And then who is going to be the first, like, what house are you going to first? Are you staying home? What's, like, your first, like, three people you're grabbing for the zombolix? That's not fair. It's cheating. Can't pick what? No, Nicholas Irving. That's cheating.

His name's the Reaper. That's not fair. Come on, Packer. He would be really good. He would be great. Yeah. No. No, I think an AR in 223 would be what I'd go with for sure

Yeah, any special one that new one you just create the pump one super nice That video needed to happen though it really really funny cuz I posted on Instagram and I was like Destroy this or pimp it out, and I thought everybody like destroy it and they were like pimp it out I was like oh man like 75% people said pimp it out, so we have to so we spent like 4,500 bucks on just attachments Pump AR so like every time would they even make that? California it has to be but it's not it's not even It has a threaded barrel and a pistol grip and then it's an open

Sometimes too so like that's yeah The mags come so I don't I don't know who I don't know why they made it, but it was stupid So anyway, we pinched it out my whole video pimping it out, and then I made a whole nother video Just destroying it as it should yes, and it's good You took all that shit off there perfectly balanced Yeah, before you destroy that yeah, we put like a d-ball on it. I mean it was nice It actually was like once I did it that was kind of cool Before on top and like dude it was actually I was like I kind of like this now I took everything off and I was like ah yeah let's kill it it's ugly again murder okay we're fine now who'd be your three guys

you got your AR you got your Gucci one or not Gucci doesn't fucking matter so it's three guys that we are taking just me and those three guys

are going to fight zombies end of the world scenario and I can't pick Nicholas I could not have Nicholas Irving probably know another sniper or two yeah I'm just going with you guys End of the world scenario, and I can't pick Nicholas. I could not have new serving Probably know another sniper or two. Yeah, I'm just going with you guys just cuz that's easy no fuck that all right I can't pick you all either

I'm just saying I'm the only one has been a combat Urban come back. Oh, he's been there some baddies has a fell marriage fourth plate That's combat failed marriage I Think all ofher competition in 2012! That's combat. Failed marriage. Failed marriage. I think all of us combined makes like one Tim Kennedy or something. Yeah! Yeah, that's what I was gonna say. I was like, I think I'd take Grantham. Good.

Smart choice, honestly. Mine's a good choice. And then uh... Shoot, I don't know. I mean Tim, yeah Tim, like... Tim Kennedy would kill any of y'all, so... Oh yeah, and R.B. Egan fucking... He'd blink and we'd we die and he can fight the zombies with his hands well who else Tim got bit Tim just shoot on who would y'all take I don't know I think grand would be an excellent choice Does he go to because you know he's just fighting he's just for five. Well. He is a survivalist cute So like if you really go and if we had there is maddie populate the world huge penis yeah

Fighting in apocalypse are going into day six bottom You what what I didn't hear I forgot if in this scenario do I make it in superpower or no no cool You're just killing kids That's just youth and nothing I'm like I forgot that it's not real. He goes crazy because it's the apocalypse. He goes around euthanizing kittens. Mare's like, what are you doing? I'm like, this will teleport eventually.

I have to hit the level. There's a threshold. Are you getting XP? There's experience points happening. It starts after the thousandth kitten. You've already passed the mark, Matt. We've been over this. You've passed the thousandth kitten.

I've killed so many kittens. Not on kittens. Cats. Cats. Oh, okay. Any small marmot. Dude, the abandoned mansion, though, in a zombie survival situation is amazing. Because there's one point of entry, and can't scale up like the sides of it

And you sleep who's your third though? You haven't picked any of us which is great feeling Use any of us I don't know I really don't know Just Nick Irving can I I just pick Nick? No, you can't pick Nick. Pick like a cook. Jet Teela. Jet Teela. Jet Teela. I'm just saying, if you're going to see the world, I'd like to eat good.

Oh, can I say a shout out to Jet? He was in the season finale of Tour tournament of champions last night, but he lost He was one of the one of the people that got out on their shame, but we love you and you should have won jet You make Thai food baby fucking delicious So good so good he can't pick baby Jesus No He can teleport, probably. I can't? Can Jesus teleport?

I think we went over this. I think we talked about Jesus can't teleport. No, he has the superpowers, though. That's how we started this, Jesus is superpowered. That's right. Jesus was the worst superhero. That was the name of the episode. Oh, God.

Welcome back. I formally apologize for being on this podcast again. Now what's the most offensive meme we can make? Matt naked on the cross. That's just the thumbnail. He's like, why did we do this? I don't know. We were just trying to get clickbait. And it worked.

So we need you to pose naked for this I'm already pretty hot I'm trying to look for excuse it's sure it's fucking warm in this fucking house Oh Yeah, my plan is working That's why you create the heat. He wants to 69 on top Like you just hear this in the background the whole time just Ball slapping a forehead last one come on. You got pick one one more. You pick Nick. It's fine Nick it's fucking Nick. He's coming to film a video tomorrow, so you say, Tim Grand and Nick? That's such a power team

Who else is filming in the video tomorrow? I don't need to talk about it I was just making sure because I know And you just was like, well, Nick's coming Crispy will be there You're not picking Crispy for survival Negative He's not the fastest

Zombie camouflage Guys, that's not the fastest. Well, oh, zombie camouflage, though. Guys, that's not real. I killed Critt and get a work. Crispy was a zombie. He was alive. He was screaming at you. You just shot him four times. He literally screamed, don't shoot me.

I'm not a zombie. I'm not a zombie. Well, look at him. I'd like to formally apologize. You just apologized 80 times on this podcast. This episode's gonna be called Matt Sorry.

My wife, sorry. My mom, sorry. Crispy, sorry. Crispy's still getting picked last for the zombie apocalypse. Straight up. You're behind me on the list. That's rough. That dodgeball picked you?

It's me and Crispy at the end of it. Sorry, bro. Fuck! Batty. Yeah, Batty. Oh, man. Is Crispy shaped like an airplane? Last week we were talking about fucking jumping out of airplanes

because we did the skydiving shit. Getting acers. I saw Matt last week, and he was still hurting. He stood up like this. Dude, he has a torn. So it was a torn lcl or acl meniscus though sure i'm just saying knee too yeah i didn't know that i thought he was standing up because his butt still hurt no he actually tore something he has to have surgery oh yeah he has to have surgery so he was avoiding going in when we last talked to him he was like i don't want to know what's wrong

they're like yeah you tore it you had that surgery he's like motherfucker He has to have surgery. He was avoiding going in when we last talked to him. He was like, I don't want to know what's wrong. They were like, yeah, you tore it. You had to have surgery. He's like, motherfucker. That stinks. See, this is why I'm fat. I'm good. I got a little cushion if I fall.

You know what I mean? I'm not getting that hurt. Yeah, that's gravity. Have you seen Matt's butt, though? It's a great looking butt. He's got a cushion, too. It's a great looking butt. It didn't help. 30 miles an hour is 30 miles an hour.

I mean, I dumped a bike going almost 70. He didn't, like, break his tailbone or anything? No, apparently he was bruised. It looked like that was broken. Don't be saved in men. Fluck, let's see that again. Some body wants you. Don't need body, body, body.

Some body wants you. I can't, I can't, I can't. Dude, somebody. King it, king it, king it. Dude, that meme is the funniest. God, landing. And it's so many different videos are on that same audio, and it's so funny every time. Somebody's getting beamed somehow. It's so good. When the big pause is like, some, and you know it's coming.

And he was the one. I was like, oh, this poor dude. Because I landed, and then the instructor was like fucking awesome landing sorry comms got fucked up in the sky uh you made it down really got hurt and i was like what the first thing it was like matt got hurt he landed right before me i was like what happened he's like ah the comm stopped on that one too it's like maybe we need to work on the comm situation when this is our first jump ever we don't know how to pull no it's pulling and

landing there's a full cycle period there's a they tell you when right they're supposed to right yeah they're supposed to be like pull now flare so mine was they tell you when to get in a proceeding or final approach and then you take your left, left, and land, or right, right, depending on your final approach, because you have to land towards wind. So at 1,000 feet, you take your final approach. Then you turn left at 700. You got a watch that says all this? Yeah.

Okay. Yeah, you're always looking. And then 300 is your last left turn. When you turn, you descent really fast. So when you turn, you drop fast so when you turn you drop altitude really quickly so like mine gets fucked up and i'm like okay i'm here i was like i'm getting zero calm so it's like a thousand okay i just got a left left can you talk back to them too no uh it's a one way so i was like okay my left final approach thousand good thousand uh 700

good turning and i'm like 350 i'm like okay i'll do my last turn here in a second and they're like eli we need you to do a hard right and i was like it's the other way i'm the left it should be where i'm like and they're like shit because you're like because i had to do a 360 so i scrubbed literally 100 feet instantly when you do that and they're like oh just oh my god oh wrong comps go towards us it's like but now i'm the other way and i land boom walk it out with uh that guy right in front of him almost hit the target and he was like ah we're so sorry we didn't know that was you we thought you were someone And then Matt's they were like mad a lot large

Hard hit I didn't even see it his comms didn't work So they didn't flare mouths just like I'm a good Ranger. I just listened to instructions Earth is one foot away And he was like He was like I was like He didn't like break his legs though So that's cool Oh god

Yeah oh man There was Yeah So how did he tear his knees Did his legs hit too Yeah If you watch the video Leg butt

Well I told them A week before Person came in First time jumper So you only do one tandem and then you're jumping. Yeah. First time. First time jumper came in and did target fixation.

So he stared out where he shouldn't have. He hit a fucking con X box going 30 miles an hour. You just watch his leg snap and he dents in the conics, bounces off and into the ground next to he doesn't die shatters femurs Tibbs Everything and they're like yeah, this happens sometimes. I'm like oh Doing it with you anymore Don't just say he would skydive with me and then you ruined it You know I said you break every bones in your legs the day we Day I left lady fucking

She hit a gust of wind so she flared. Oh she died right yep. She flared She did a fucking and that told me that freak out flare, but but she was old as shit. Yeah, it's fine I mean most people are not gonna be is 40 feet of fall Because of your parachute doesn't instantly inflate when you flare install. It's fine. I mean most people are not gonna be is 40 feet of fall Because your parachute doesn't instantly inflate when you flare install. It's like and Shoots like got it crumple And it just crumples and you like we you want to go skydiving You want to go Rocky Mountain climbing mm-hmm? How about riding a bull for two points? I Never heard that I used to climb mountains and I was like, man, I brought a bull, that'd be cool. It's just a great day to be alive, brother. That's a Fu Manchu.

It's a great day to be alive. No, I'm here. I'm back. I got you. We're going to do the wind tunnel. Do you want to join us on that? Yeah, I would do that for sure. We've got to do that soon. That would be fun.

Do you have to watch those kids today? No. We could go. Not how I just said that. That was weird. That was weird. No, we could go Take care of that one family Try to keep the plausible deniability around this You guys keep fucking it up. Let's go to Dona's Twitter Twitter check in with the

I wouldn't sit or stand There I bet it's 70% right now. Yeah, so 25 minutes ago. It's got four thousand five hundred votes when you wipe Sit is 65% Stand is at 35 35. I would have thought Stan was at four percent. I told you That's still weird that I told you out of almost out of forty five hundred people thirty five percent I told you and why people free what do they say? What are they what are their comments saying because obviously they have to explain by a bit of a savage I don't wipe. Oh, that's your cause to have Justin Chandler says by a bidet you savage. I'm so excited for my bidet

I'm gonna have the cleavage As a non-american I find wiping extremely disgusting and disturbing. It's very unhygienic Versus what I've been a is not a thing in the u.s.. They're really not yeah, I can't wait I'm so I'm gonna clean this ball ever man I Love clean bows same honestly That's the squad oh wait We will one second. That's I We gotta figure out why the days aren't a big that's the next question we ask we started the day something Yeah, we could do unsubscribe, but

You guys Wonder why your business failed you put millions into but days Come it's gonna take off one day What you got baddie? I'm going to pax here in a couple days in Boston packs East us to eat I used to donut is he's leaving us. He was 80% last podcast My son has his birthday How many has he had so far how many more is he gonna have fucking least 90 dude you can miss one. I'm a good dad Coming to PAX East as well and she's gonna tattoo the inside of my lip and it's gonna say I

eat ass and I'm really excited about sounds like one you'll never regret having never I mean I got tribal on my shoulder like baddie why is it infected why'd your tattoo have pink I talking? No joke, when we were talking about getting this tattoo, she's like, you know you can't eat ass for two weeks after this, right? I'm like, what do you mean two weeks? You're like, what? Wait a minute. It was just like a row of question marks. I was like, don't you have that tattoo?

Yeah, for sure. Is it gonna be written like when you pull it down? So when I show it, yeah, when you show it, you can read it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't need to read my... This is on his lips. On the outer lips. So when I show it, you can read it. Yeah, I don't You're very visible I don't know how lip tattoos work it's a big titty goth girls try and walk up to him and go It's the chair you want to be like Take a seat What should your first tattoo be? Yeah, you are you supposed to have a face? No? I know Yeah, we all got the smiley face the gang face you need to get your one

Yeah, I got one of the oh geez Eli's got me on his toes, so I probably should get a tattoo I got all y'all on my toes. I still need to get my all y'all on my toes samurai tattoo I gotta finish that what is a Mexican samurai Yeah, I can't wait to see that it's a does he have a mustache with a sombrero It's gonna be like a samurai wearing a sombrero like it. I get katana. I'm like this, and I also have a leaf blower Weeding a rice field. Never been done. It's done.

Your yard is done. I'm going to go up the street now. I want to do a skit. We were talking about Home Depot on the last one. We need somebody to weed eat a rice field. It's like, we need somebody to Weedy to Rossville. And Eli's like moment to shine. He's like, see. Okay.

Well, it's just, it looks like shit right now. See, I got it. Lisa, the next question. How many Mexicans worked on your mansion? I'm joking. I learned Spanish. You are actually, he's fluent in Spanish. No, I'm not fluent.

You speak a lot. I'm 50%. Uno mas tequila por favor. Por favor. Yeah. Por favor. But you speak a lot. Yeah, I speak a lot of Spanish. Do you really?

Yeah. That's actually super cool. Okay. I didn't know that. I actually got really into it. So I worked like a ton on the house with this dude from Mexico. And he's fluent in English. But I was like, don't talk to me in English.

Because he's from Mexico, but he's lived here for like 20 years or something. He worked in California for a while. And then he started working on my house. And we worked, like, he's a framer. So I framed with him all the time. And it was cool. So you did a lot. I did a bunch of the early stuff.

Once it was stuff you would see, then I was like, we need real people to do this. All the stuff that was in the walls that you would never see, I did that kind of stuff because I like that kind of stuff. Are you still going to shoot sniper rifles in the house, down the hallways, with Nick Irving? We should.

We already did when it was a shell, but I do want to do it when it's finished. You've got to do it when it's finished, right? You've got to try to catch that bullet bullet though, so maybe some birdseed I actually have a bullet in my arm from the last time I tried to do that wait what I have a bullet fragment in My arm right here. I Have it on video to help filming What is this?

There's a video. What is it called? It's called like shooting a sniper rifle in my house or something Yeah, and I started small, like 22, nine mil. And I built this bullet trap out of random like body armor panels. So I built this bullet trap and I'm in the apartment of the old house and I am 12 feet away. It was bad. And I'm like, I was just working up and I got up to like five five six And I was like no scary like I fired a five five six in a living room. It's loud Oh, yeah, and I like no there wasn't any major wall set up right. It was a skeleton still wasn't it no no no

No, I'm talking about when I saw my old house. Oh shit. Yeah, that's when I got the bullet in my arm It's loud, and it's loud, and so I shot five five six caught it shot I think I like three away caught it, and then I'm like 300 wind mags Gonna go to 50 BMG But I caught a three in her wind mag in my arm like I was like I was laying on the ground so I could have like the smallest profile yeah smallest profile to catch bullets and I shot and I was like My arm is, my arm is, and I'm like, oh, man.

I shot myself. But in the video, it cuts as soon as I shoot. The smoke alarms went off, and I was bleeding all over the floor. And I was like, oh, man, that was dumb. And so I went to the vet. I was like, I'm sure it just, like, hit me and bounced out. You went to the vet clinic? I was like, I'm sure it just like hit me and bounced out. You went to the vet clinic? Yeah. I was like, I'm sure it just hit me and bounced out. So I went to the vet clinic like later that night and I took an x-ray of myself and I

was like, oh, there's a piece of metal in my arm. So I still got that. I did not go to 50 Cal. I decided 300 Win Max. I was good enough. You called it weird. Yep. Called it on that one.

So what you're saying is if one of us gets shot in some way, we can just go to the vet clinic? Yeah, it's way cheaper. Do you charge us based off kitten prices or horse prices? Do you guys do IVs? Because the IV bar is a little expensive. Especially when you're on twice a week. Do you want to tell them about how we accidentally got shit wrecked the other day? Oh, yeah, You're fucking.

Okay. I missed out on this. I know the story vaguely. I was not partaking in this. This was just me and me and Donut. Yeah. Well, we had Zay driving us. We're safe when we go do things like this.

Yeah, we went and got a couple of mimosas at brunch. That was eggs. It was over got a couple of mimosas at brunch. That was eggs. It was over the limit. 14 mimosas. And we're like, Hey, you know, we're probably dehydrated. Let's just go to the IV bar and get some vitamins pumped into us. And so we go and we do that and we're like, I'm feeling good. I'm feeling great.

They gave us some B12 injections and it's like, I've never been to one of these. This is just for people who have been drinking, right? Not just for drinking. I've gone a few times completely sober because it actually helps with me and my migraines. Overly hydrated. You get vitamins put into you. They have migraine cocktails.

They have the banana bags. If you think you're crazy, your vitamins. The world we live in. It's wild. It's pretty cool. It's so crazy. We're like, yeah, let's go there and get this done. We're filling we're filling fucking great after It was like damn like holy shit going from drunk to sober like yeah, we're like sober And yeah, I sobered up super quick while we were sitting there for the 45 minutes getting IV and we but we're like

I don't have anything to do today. Let's go back and get some more mimosas, right? We're back to brunch. So I guess because, I don't know, you're the doctor here. I guess because we had just gotten IVs and our blood was flowing pretty well. Still the exact same percentage. We drank like, what, two, maybe two more mimosas sure and a number forgot everything forgot everything we black out we got home and it was like i i blacked the fuck out i don't remember what i took i ended up taking a nap i don't there was a whole i lost like five hours

yeah i made heather chicken wings and i don't remember making her chicken and it was like five days later me and donut were sitting at, and it was like five days later being donut We're sitting at brunch, and I'm like man Like a little more drunk than you should have been the other day. He's like bro me too. I woke up with no hangover Yeah, no hangover whatsoever But I fired up my Traeger and I like tossed some honey sriracha wings and made some wings for Heather Your memory did not record any of it. Nope And this is not that we don't do this all the time guys

But like I think because of the IV it just like it was yeah, you guys that you're good And it was like Nos added to your gas Yeah, you're like we feel so much better let's just hit that button. Yeah, you're like, we feel so much better. Let's go back to eggs. Why did we black out? Weird. Vegas, you had a great... I love Matt when Matt has some drinks. I would never.

Which drink, guys? Chacho? Yeah, Chacho. Everyone went downhill real quick. Was that the first time you bought everyone Yeezys, or the other time? The last time downhill real time. He bought anyone you sees or the other time the last time last time What drunk eating pizza? Pizza you weren't that one boy. I was serving very yeah This is fucking we were in the food court of the we saw the food court like two hours pissed

And there was a guy we didn't know sitting with it You may have been a vlog Guy we didn't know She's never heard this joke before. Yeah, but I gotta make the joke on the channel. Everyone says in the comments, fuck all of you. I did it. Yeah, SHOT Show is just like every other SHOT Show. It's like you go and walk the floor for a couple hours,

and you just go drink a lot. Everyone is having a good... Everyone buys drink shots and then you just gotta watch everyone's like downhill progression people are going to shot show less and less though did you even like go on the floor much i i was on the floor for an hour yeah maybe the least amount i've ever been on the floor i just i was like i don't want to go anymore like i definitely was in the casino the majority of the time yeah how much time were you on the floor of SHOT Show? A few hours, absolutely. Yeah, no, I did a few hours because me and Eli did one day where we both

walked around for a while. Yeah, we did a few hours. That was about max. I only did one day. I was alone and I just kind of walked around. This is the least amount I've ever been on. And I feel like that was with everybody. Same. Like the Black Rifle guys are all like, nah, we're probably not even going to go on the floor.

Three hours. Well, a lot of us, Black Rifle wasn't supposed to be there. And we had the show. It was last minute for everything. So everyone was like, what's going on? Okay, we'll just make this work. Ah, whatever. Just go get a drink.

Let's go actually gamble. Donut gave me $100. I lost $100. Then I gained way more than i lost way more yeah i i actually came out even this year i think i don't remember i love roulette the whole i was just doing that 500 bets on roulette i was like it's gonna yeah i was like it's gonna win or it's not it's like and now i was like cool next one cool and now and then it was a downhill we had arabo and he Oh yeah Arab was there

Motherfucker just watched us That piece of shit This dude came out and just watched us gamble for like 7 hours Yeah he's just hanging out with us Arab, the streamer guy His name is actually Arab That is Twitter, Twitch I didn't know that

Arab That's not his real name I think his real name was was a hundred he did that he went came to the roulette table watch this watched us gamble my five hours I see a night no he comes up and he does the one on 20 bet I want to bet on the roulette he's like 14 114 yeah when five grand hey grand. But he does it fucking again. He did it a second time right after that. Yeah, he got two. He got two. One to 20 bets on the roulette

table. He's like, I guess I'll do it again. I won some money. Won another like three or four grand. I just walked away. I was like, fuck, we've been sitting here for the past four days. I just do big bets so that way I know my money's gone or it's not. That's smart. I should just do that.

No, and I will. So much time. I lost a lot of money. I was like, well, this counts for all the time I made money usually. That was the first year I lost money. You always just showed up and won. You were a piece of shit. Until I killed your streak

in the 2019 SHOT Show. My bad. 2020. Lost you always just show up in one you're a piece of shit. Yeah, until I killed your streak. Yeah 19 shot show my bad 2020 Was the beginning of the end John I went to gamble and all the same bets is made of like losing I'm like Just a downhill prize like I was like, no! Can we tell your gambling is bad story? Yeah! Okay. You gonna tell it? No, you tell it.

I kind of remember it. You were gonna make a video about how gambling is bad. Why is gambling terrible? So like SHOT Show, I just go there to make content because it's just like, I don't know. It's good stuff. I don't need it's it's i don't know stuff i don't need to go like meet all the companies and everything i just like going for fun and having

fun like i can make some content while i'm there and so we decided i'll make a whole vlog about how gambling is dumb so i had like i think we had like a thousand dollars for this experiment we're like we're gonna you know get a thousand bucks and we split it between five of us and we're all gonna go gamble and see what we ended up with. We ended up with $2,500, and it was the funnest night of my life. Didn't you have somebody give you money? Yeah, so a gun company was there, and they were like, we'll throw in some money, too.

We just made tons of money, and they were like, well, if we win this, we put it all on red on roulette at the end of the night. We're like, if we win this, we're going to go buy Yeezys, and we freaking won, and then we went go buy Yeezys. We freaking won. We went and bought Yeezys and I made a video about how dumb gambling was while I won $1,500 and just ended up with stupid shoes and extra money.

I was like, yeah, but anyway, kids, gambling's real stupid. Just remember, it's a chance. Every one of your crew had Yeezys? No, we bought three pair of Yeezys that night. But they were clean. Oh, so clean. I still got them.

Clays. His son had Yeezys, and then he went and played in mud. Yeah, that was really cool. I got mine. Very cool, John. I went and squished chicken poop with my Yeezys. I will say, did you watch Whistling Diesel? I actually saw those shoes the other day. He was in Florida when I was there, and you watch Whistling Diesel?

I actually saw those shoes the other day. He was in Florida when I was there. He was wearing them. Dude, those shoes stood up. What were those shoes? The Nike. No, they were the Air Jordan $12,000 pairs. The special.

They weren't Air Jordans. They were the Nikes. They were $12,000. He used his work boots, got them all dirty, and then he used them as work boots. They were the Nikes. I don't know. But he used them as work boots, got them all dirty, and then he put them on an excavator bucket on one of the teeth and dug in the ground with them and then pulled it back out and they're just fine. He ran them over with a steamroller and then they just

bent in half and they spring back and they're fine. He washed them a thousand times. He was dirt biking. He'd throw them in a washing machine, let them roll, throw them in a dryer, Yo, was dirt biking. He fucked these. He threw them in a washing machine. Let them roll. Perfect. Whistle and diesel makes me uncomfortable. I love his shit sometimes, but other times, he just makes me uncomfortable.

He was surprised. He was like, yo, no stitching problems. He was like, this is the first shoe. Yeah, 12,000 is stupid on a shoe. He's like, I'm'm not even gonna complain because these held together through every single thing they did stitching it washed right out come back to natural form no folds no creases damn he beat the fuck out of these shoes he read jordan's yeah special jordan's jordan's i swear they weren't jordan they were easy they weren't

easy they were nikes but i don't know uh and now we're like I wear shitty flip-flops and slides so like I don't know I wear Vans man Oh you want for me hair D ors D ors that's so they are air Jordan, but they're the D ors I didn't know yeah, they're the D or brand Like yeah, he 12 grand Like baddie here just for a reference of baddie can see So the podcast can't this is my favorite part of the pockets where Eli pulls a video out. I know Just for us, but no one else bad. Do you see how those shoes are? Yeah, he beats

Like when he does this baddie he is it's that video is 3 million views though. Yeah, he runs over him with like Like homeboy beats the fuck out of these shoes. We'll have luck put it up All right keep coming I I Like this stop it I'm crushing that say here Jordan D yours. Yeah, okay, so bad and that's one of many Fucking tests. Yeah, 25 minutes of him just Fucking ruining fine and then he washes them This is after everything like all of that I'm watching him a thousand fucking times So those are Jordans

I kind of want to get some Air Jordan Dior's now And they stay He lights them on fire Light them on fire And now he apparently wears them all the time Like he was He was equally surprised He was like

Huh Holy shit Nah I'm actually surprised I get mad if I ever spend more than 70 bucks on a pair of shoes Like honestly I get mad Man when I had to spend $60 on a pair of flip flops We went to

Florida for Cletus and Cars again Like you and I did And it was another race And Whistlin was there And the prize this time Last time it was El Caminos This time it was a Lamborginos you know yeah two el caminos this time it was a lamborghini oh my gosh lamborghini murcielago that was a big step up but it had been it had been

ls swapped so it had a chevy engine in it but still it was a it was clean still um and whistlin diesel said if he wins it he was going to destroy it on sight. But he didn't win. Who won? Some race guy. Brian Deegan. Why don't you... An actual racer. Bring me to these. I race. I will fucking...

I didn't know I was going to that one the year we did. Because it was a Crown Vic race. Yeah. Bill and Mullets. Bill and Mullets. And then you and I wrecked so many cars. They stopped giving us cars. Yeah, it stinks.

It's like, no, you guys can't have this. I didn't make it this time. You're done. I got seventh place out of 20. That's not bad. So I was happy. I finished the race this time, which was good. That's good.

That's good. Next year. It was 100 laps. Next year. That's 20 laps. So it's those two next year, and it's me and you next year. Eli, like, I don't know. Yeah, he needs to hit a five.

Cletus. Cletus. Cletus. Come on. Him and his, we were on a closed circuit road. Oh, Jesus Christ. Totally professional racetrack road. Super windy. And his, and his plan.

Yeah, I was like trying to, trying to. I was in my 140 horsepower girlfriend's car. I'm on his bumper. He's like When he follows you he's like can you not drive so good he's like I was like, oh don't it's like try And he has this blue SUV mini fucking thing. It's like Staying on there 140 Like right when I moved to Texas we were leaving the BRCC ranch It's kind of like it's got a kind of a dippy wonder when I had my fucking Raptors like a sport mode

And he was got his fucking Volvo. This dude was so close to my I was flying down this fucking I was afraid I was like I'm gonna hit my brakes when I go around this corner for a second and he lies gonna disappear He was gonna make that pass you like is a good driver, and I hate it Favorite what what's your race car background cuz I know you were the cards growing up So then carts tag shifter cars, which you'd learn everything on how a car feels. And then we did Formula Mazda, a couple Corvettes. Spec Miata was my favorite series.

That's the one I ran all the time was Spec Miata series. And then now I just fuck around on iRacing. All those racing sims, I can still hop in a car like BJ. We used to borrow our buddy the mom's minivan at three in the morning when she didn't know basically the same thing same thing same thing same exact thing it's weird when you go from like like racing racing because i can throw a car around and like oh whatever like blue car i'm like but it's at its limit keeping up with you that car was like like just sliding in corners look it's fine it's 140 horsepower

I gotta keep the RPMs up so it continues to speed I was like I have to keep up with donuts a thousand horsepower for this scary man that was wild with no sound to go from

fucking zero to a hundred whatever yeah that thing's gnarly no sound It's just being like Gone I don't like it do it the day. We've had less white clothes With no white clothes even one would say oh so after this podcast Park my truck in front of the road nobody can get on it. It's a closed road. Yeah, just park my truck in front of the road, nobody can get on it. It's a closed road.

Yeah, that's true. And it self-drives. We just turn it on self-drive mode and it drives around in circles. Let's go faster. I mean, that's pretty much it. Batty, do you have, what question, Batty, have you asked him anything yet? Who? Him.

Why are you guys not talking? We've talked so much! Get out. Starting to be the right man. I gotta look at our survey. Oh yeah, how we doing on these? 7,000 votes. And still at

exactly 35% standing. There's over a thousand people that are standing. Cheeks are clenched. How do you loosen your cheeks when you're like you gotta like pop it You know like what like why don't you lean? I don't understand leaning seems way easier your butt cheeks close Maybe they're trying to get a workout in their squat and you know like your butt cheeks close when you stand

That's what I'm saying. So you're not staying and you're like the the blue ha the poops your quasimodo in that shit, dude You got a lean and you know, like you're haunched. You're Quasimodo in that shit, dude. You gotta lean and you gotta stand and haunch. The poop squashes instantly when you stand. Sound like Caleb Branson. The poop squashes. The poop squashes. The bassist from

Lamb of God said polarizing content. The bassist from Lamb of God. content Love the internet God bless this society we are now Know your house after an hour is... I'm still a little hot, but it's better. End of the podcast-ish. You're not profusely sweating on this.

No, I was hot when we got here. Oh, I know. It was just like... I got a freshly shaved head and it was glistening. I can't believe I got it all. I'm excited. That was for you. Our next podcast is going to be in a restaurant.

Oh, yeah, we got a restaurant. Can I just is going to be in a restaurant. Oh, yeah. Can I just say this was my idea? No. Here's the deal. I told them, hey, guys, you guys got to step it up a little bit. This is amateur hour. And I think you guys can be better. He did.

That was your idea. Why do we never do that? This morning, this is how we started. He was like, guys, you know how I got to 10 million subs on my main channel? 11 million? Innovation. Killing kittens. Innovation.

Killing kittens. This is what I did. You think I stopped? You guys doing this in this poor-ass batty house. Well. Think bigger. Tiny ceilings and dragons. Touch the ceiling real quick.

It ain't it. Everybody can touch the ceiling except for you, Eli. Yeah, you're the only one that's like a centimeter away. Let me put shoes on. We'll touch that ceiling so quick. It ain't it. Everybody can touch the ceiling except for you, Elon. Yeah, you're the only one that's like a centimeter away. Let me put shoes on. We'll touch that ceiling so quick with shoes on. We're sitting at brunch, and he's like, why don't you guys just do the podcast here at brunch? Yeah, we were at a really cool place. We're at a cool place, and they had this little separate room that we were all looking at.

And I was like, y'all could do the podcast in the corner over there. And there'd be the kind of background noise of people getting orders and eating and everything. The hubbub. He didn't say it this nice. He's like, I watch an actual successful podcast. So what they do is they have a restaurant. You guys do have something really cool here.

You guys are all really funny. We laugh the whole time. I watch your other podcasts. I don't watch the whole thing. You watch that one episode and a half. You've said that. He didn't even watch the the whole time. I watch your other podcasts. I don't watch the whole thing. You watch one episode and a half. You've said that. He didn't even watch one whole episode. He watched parts of one.

I clicked on Leon Lush's and I watched 10 seconds of it. And y'all were laughing. And it's funny. I just pictured Demo on his own episode. He's like. I watched it 19 times. It's like a Meat Canyon episode. He takes his shirt off.

Yes, man. Did Meat Canyon take his shirt off during this? No. No. How he would draw you watching your own episode. He'd draw you like I watch your episodes. I don't really know who Meat Canyon is. I mean, I've seen him on y'all's thing, but I've never watched his stuff.

Don't. Okay, I'm not. Oh, God. I think you guys got stuff. Oh, okay. I'm not I think you guys got a good thing going here, and so I was just giving a little advice I think it'll I think it'll kill it work. They literally said yes Yeah, they asked the guys in the restaurant Go for it. Do the manager owner was like yeah? When do you want to when you want to book it and you know we're like?

Oh, we were just we're We're just pitching ideas out. It's the operating partner. He was like, you want Tuesday or Tuesday at noon or what? Oops. Oh, you said yes. We're idiots. Bring out a lot of these knockout punches. Bring out a lot of knockout punches.

A barrel of knockout punch. Well, it's a good thing because it is we always eat brunch lunch before with our guests. Every time. This is the go-to. And then you cannot talk about anything that we want to talk about. It's a really annoying, awkward lunch.

Yeah, Batty, like three times, like, oh, I have this funny story. I should save it for the podcast. I just wanted to... Yeah, that was the one. I was so excited to tell that story. I should save it for the podcast. I just want to... Yeah, that was the one. I was so excited to tell that story. I really was. I loved it. And then we just...

Do these guys know what brunch means to you guys? 1 p.m. Yeah. Brunch is like... Donut came to my house one time, or it was through the range, and he was like, sorry, I was at brunch. And I was like, it's 3 o'clock. Like, what are you talking about?

Okay, not to be rude, but like, what's brunch to you? 10 o'clock, for sure. That's morning. That's definitely brunch. That's brunch. You guys are wrong. It's breakfast lunch. Yeah.

You guys just eat eggs at 4 p.m. We're like, we had brunch. Are we wrong? We're adults. It's so true. Who's down for brunch at 4 p.m.? I just want pancakes for dinner. Brunch.

We call it brunch. It's the Principal Skinner meme. It's like, no, it's the kids who are... We're not wrong. Batty closes out. Thank you for watching the Unsubscribe podcast. Of course, as always, we have Donut Bopperator, Eli DoubleFab, I am BattyStreams, and we have our very, very special guest, Dr. Demolition Matt.

Demolition Ranch here. Thanks for coming out and being the cool kid that hangs out with the idiots for the day. Thanks for having me, Dr. Demolition Matt, Demolition Rancher. Thanks for coming out and being the cool kid that hangs out with the idiots for the day. Thanks for having me, guys. Plug yourself. Number 50. Number 50! Go check me out, yeah. Where can they find you? Instagram, Dr. Demolition Matt, and YouTube, Demolition Ranch.

Comilicia, everyone! Comilicia! I'm a little show. Done.