Unsubscribe Podcast - 6 - Tifa vs Aerith

Episode Date: February 3, 2021

NEW PODCASTS MON/WED  *CLAP* WELCOME BACK. This week Baddie is dying and losing his voice. still. His immune system is like that of a sickly child. We get into some weird topics today...New COVID tests, our first video game crush, Donuts spiteful bowel movements as a child, the game we gave up life to play, and autosaving games. BUT NOW FOR THE IMPORTANT BIT. TIFA OR AERITH??? STRAW POLL BELOW. http://www.strawpoll.me/42569923 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Okay. Alright, Simmer. We're just getting our claps in. Donut. Hi everyone, Donut here. This is the Unsubscribe Podcast, and welcome to our shenanigans

Where we normally talk about video game things But sometimes we go into Pokemon This is Mr. Eli Double tap Dear God Oh, we started this one off real Bleep that one out real quick Maybe the algorithm is not

Pokemon, boop Pokemon, boop We just talked about Pokemon here. Yay. Batty Streams. Batty, it's just. Dude, people be coming into my stream now, and they're like, what's up, Batty Streams? I'm like, you fucker.

I love your podcast. How dare you, Batty Streams? We call them sprinkles. Why are you drinking water? that's not ranch water that's just this is regular water i'm losing my voice again some ranch in that yeah where's your ranch water what if you were supposed to do the ranch oh no what if we put ranch dressing into ranch water and it's ranch ranch water ranch ranch dressing water ranch if we put ranch okay so i'm gonna take these away from you we could put ranch in it and water into the ranch water so it's ranch ranch water water

the universe collapses on itself you just divided by zero batty where's your pitch for ranch water it's your turn so i had bronchitis because Donut Sun gave me bronchitis. And mono. No. Whoa. And mono. No. So I had bronchitis, which then turned into some kind of shitty throat infection. But not COVID.

So that's great. I've had my brain poked so many times for these COVID tests. How is this an ad for ranch water right now? I'm explaining why I'm drinking water. So Donut Sun gave me mono and ranch water. So, Donut Sun gave me... Alcohol hurts my throat right now. Donut Sun gave me mono and ranch water. You guys see where we're at? China, they're doing COVID tests by sticking things in your ass now. Are you joking? I don't know.

That's amazing. Yeah, the new COVID test. Oh, I did see that. Is it that real? It's an ass swab now. And then they do your throat with the same thing. The same one. I don't know.

It's double dipping. I don't know if it's a meme, but they're talking. I mean, that has to be a meme. I don't know. I don't know if you're joking right now. Is this joking, Donut? I've seen it too. Yeah, I've seen it on social media.

I don't know if it's real or not. Oh, okay. So this isn't a bit. You guys actually saw this somewhere. Yeah. Oh, fuck. I'm an actual doctor now. My penis is a swab that tests for COVID.

Is that what you told the ladies? Excuse me, ma'am. Your COVID test is due. You're a COVID negative. Oh my god. Listen here, Mono. I can't even do it just a simple plug you go on a sad story being a victim with bronchitis and mono okay that's that's a good oh well you said it's a good like baddie

does the tiktok i don't do that shit be like ranch water ranch water Well, I'm drinking. Thanks, guys. Oh, man. Our creative brains are working. Way too similar. I can't wait until my throat closes up on me. This will be great. Get better genetics.

I'm a ginger. I already lost that pool, bud. That is very true. You know, after meeting you, I looked up if Hitler killed gingers. Did he? He didn't. No. No.

Even though you're inferior. You are the 1%. You stop it. Gingers are great, dude. Gingers are great. Gingers are great. I think every ginger I've ever met has had a huge personality. To be completely honest.

You can just say I have a giant dick. They've got to make up for eating souls of kittens. No, that's why we have a huge personality. Because as we absorb souls. Absorbing personalities. So it just keeps growing. How many souls have you? I don't have time to count all my freckles.

He's got like a thousand freckles. I've got a lot of freckles. Yeah, he's got like a thousand freckles. I got a lot of freckles, man. That's where they're counting. Yeah, every freckle in a ginger is a soul they've stolen. You got some big souls. I mean, there's some really big freckles I can see from here. Why did that feel like an insult?

Why did that feel like? You're like, that hurt. I don't know why that was mean but it hurt god damn i like you looked over at your freckles like what's that even mean big souls what's a big soul me ranch water's good drink it water there's your fucking do you guys like video games yeah i know today today's topic we'll talk about our our first our first love and passion of video games so what's that huh eric that was the i mean i wasn't talking about that passion but that that was the good

that over what was yours over tip oh yeah dude oh man or he doesn't know either of them anarchy online i have no idea what you guys did you play your first okay okay literally your first love yeah i thought we were talking about video games that we well that's what we're going to going but oh your first video game like character yeah eris laura croft man with her triangle titties those are tomb raider you remember final fantasy 7 no it's off my mind. Okay. We'll just block him out this episode.

So what we're going to do is on the YouTube video, we're going to put a big picture of Aerith and Tifa. Yeah. Peace. Really? Yeah, dude. Where's your phone? Okay, don't know. Well, me and Batty had this heated discussion. Look up Tifa versus Aerith, and he's going to make the final call on a battle.

I already know who has won. Really? I mean, dude. Oh, man. Never mind. Was it the long, dirty sundress that got you? I don't know. Why can't I just?

I liked her more than Tifa. But why? She had, like, what qualities? All right, she saw her more than Tiffa. But why? She had like, what qualities? All right, she saw it. That's Tiffa. Oh, fuck. We got Tiffa. Come on, come on.

Tiffa? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. But, but, come on. That pink dress, dude. It's definitely not Batty's type. What's the other one? Aerith.

Aerith. Aerith. Aerith. I mean, Batty's type has changed over time. That is true. But really? Absolutely. It was the sundress and the flowers that really got me.

It's those weird bangs. Stop it. They're both pretty. Let me see what you got. Let me find a good full line. Like, you're going to meet Aerith at church. Yeah, that's true. That's like literally you're going to meet that girl at church.

God damn, though. Come on. She's like, I really love Bible study. Do you want to come and hang out after work? We can come to church. Tiffa's like, I'm going to. Yeah, she wants to go to the gym with you. Shut the fuck up.

Fuck yeah, she does. And then OG Tiffa? She does. Even, like, everything they play, she's, like, wearing a dress. Like, hey. What's wrong with the dress your girl you were talking you're you like the other one right yeah he likes the whore oh oh wow she does not get around first off tiffa is not a whore okay she just has boobs horrified of all time She had some huge boobs For the PlayStation era My Final Fantasy character

Is way harder than Your Final Fantasy character I just want you to know that She's a whore You like dudes As we're talking about it Okay so Tomb Raider is a good choice

But this is not the conversation The actual conversation Okay, so Tomb Raider is a good choice. But this is not the conversation. The actual conversation. You got us on another tangent. I was busy thinking about boobies. Let me alone. So how does it feel to be wrong, though? I'm not wrong. Viewers, if you could just comment.

Everyone, whether it's on YouTube, in your review, please put either Tifa or Aerith, whoever your favorite Final Fantasy VII thought was. I need to know Eli needs to know and Cloud slowly unzips Batty's pants he gets onto his knees to reveal his buster

sword he grasps it in his firm calloused fingers I'm gonna throw up what is the first game you said R runescape runescape was your og jam no anarchy online oh yeah that was the game that you played more than anything like you you didn't want to get up you didn't want to move you're like no ground me i don't give a fuck like that was the game the anarchy online is the one that i remember, but the first game ever. Discover the magic of BetMGM Casino,

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operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming ontario that i wouldn't get up from so much i pissed my pants and my dad wouldn't let me play it with Super Mario World 3. Yeah. I remember playing it, and I was playing it, and I was at the end of the level, and I didn't want to get up. And I didn't do it on purpose.

I just accidentally pissed myself because I was holding it, holding it, holding it, holding it, and I pissed myself. I was like seven. And then my dad saw that I pissed myself

while playing a game, and so he like super cut my video game time for the next year. That sucked. John, I can't pause it. It's an online game. Or you could pause this one. Super Mario. This is 100%.

Pause any time in the game. It's a very possible game. Yeah, but I just pissed myself instead. John, I'm so... He wasn't there watching me. How did he find out? Because I'm a stupid kid, so you can't hide anything. So I took my pants off and put them in the floor of the bathroom like a child would do.

I'm trying to hide what I did, so I'm just going to put my pissy pants in the floor where everyone's going to find it. So, yeah, that happened. Oh, man. I shit myself on purpose one time do you hear that yeah yes you can know i'm not gonna answer no to that yeah i was like nine and um it was it's funny because that's the first time i ever said fuck that day too um so i was in the lunch room and miss able at midway elementary that bitch in lindell georgia she wouldn't let me go go uh go poop at the during lunch and i was like i gotta go poop she was like you're not gonna get up i was like i gotta go poop

she's like you're not going to the bathroom i looked her in the eyes and shit my pants and was like well i pooped my dad my dad came picked me up and i had a half day of school that day and he wasn't even mad he was mad at them that is the most savage kid thing that's pretty fucking hard that's just like started as i mean you inserted your dominance the best way you can fuck the man in my room yeah and then i became a cop i need to poop no i just shit myself i looked her in the eyes and shit myself. I was like, this is your problem. You were nine, so you weren't doing a cold stone face. You were like this.

The tension on the cheeks. And the lips turning red. The veins on your neck kicked up. She's like, what are you doing? What are you doing? I'm done. She knew. I can't remember it, but I imagine are you doing? I'm done. She knew. I can't remember it, but I imagine her face.

Knowing I'm shitting in the lunchroom. Her face is probably just like, huh. What the fuck's wrong with this car? She tells that story completely different. I know. When someone asks, what's the worst student you ever had? That's her story. Let me tell you what about cody from lindale georgia in 1996 this little kid head jesus i hope she dies in her in her sleep thing

very peacefully at a old the old age of 95 i don't want her to die i'm just kidding i'm sorry miss abel i'm sorry it's oneel. I'm sorry, Miss Abel. It's one of the... Man. She's probably dead already, to be honest. You made eye contact with someone while you were pooping. Yeah. I mean, okay.

We were all in the military. We've all made eye contact with somebody while shitting. I don't like... I don't like it, though. It's not that we enjoyed it. But you've done it. We've done it. I don't like it.

Do you remember being in some old shitty base on a port-a-shitter? There's no barriers. There's a hole and a bench. Yeah. And you're just like, your elbows touch another man. You're like, y'all got to play the... Just staring at the wall, but there's another fucking set of dudes right there. Well, PAX has that stalls.

It's half stalls. For like at the event downstairs, because that's where like druggies and stuff. So they're like, oh, how do we solve this? Well, we'll just cover this portion. So the stalls literally go here. Wait, wait, wait. Like Penny Arcade Exposition. Yes.

Yes. It's south or? In Seattle. Oh, prime. So the, yeah, PAX prime. The toilets downstairs on the first floor of the Expo Center all go to here. So I was like, oh, they're hip. I've never seen that in my life.

They're hip weather. It's just a Penny Arcade Expo. They go to like your elbows. Yes. So I was like, I got to shit. And I walk in. And I'm like, there's a. I was like, oh, this line isn't that bad.

It's like halfway. So I can shit pretty quick. So I walk in. And I'm like. And like four dudes are looking. Yeah, that dude is shitting. And he's staring at me did you just

turn around and walk out? no I took a picture because I was like I've never seen Stahlsberg the best part is this the dude like sees me I was like what the fuck and you just see a humble girl like this he just like

bent over I was like, what the fuck? And you just see Humble go like this. He just like crouches. He just bent over. He just bent over to hide himself. I didn't even make an eye contact during this. I was like, what? Why do they have half doors? Like, it's just the weirdest fucking thing. Weirdest thing.

At a modern gaming convention. Yeah, I left and went to someplace else to poop. Okay, so I went to someplace else to poop okay so i went to um e3 in 2019 and i've never smelled the worst like in a bathroom so bad even in the military i never smelled a bathroom so bad like the combination of people who don't bathe plus whatever their diets are dude nerd if you're a nerd fucking if you go to a convention, take a goddamn shower, please. Put deodorant on. Fuck. Wash a little bit. One time. Just that first day, please.

Maybe the third day. Like, sure, take a day off. Whatever. Just take a shower. Just hygiene. Get some baby wipes. Clean yourself if you don't want to get in the water. The evil water.

Take the horse bath, at least. Yeah, man. Get the sink and just do this a little bit. Pits, fucking dick and ass. Get your shit sorted, man. It's not that hard. And that's why there's the meme. The dude that on Reddit blew up where he was just taking photos at the Magic the Gathering

tournament. The prayer thing. And they kicked him out of all the Magic the Gathering tournaments for like two years. He was doing it behind people with their ass crack. Right. But it was like dozens of pictures.

Like whole asses sometimes. Yeah. It was just like that the entire time. Oh man. What's the, what's that guy's name? I want to get him on the podcast. That would be rad.

He would probably come out. Oh, absolutely. A hundred percent. Yeah. Hey dude, bro. Uh,

prayer guy, prayer, MTG man, prayer, booty man, booty, prayer, magic gathering guy. Yeah. You want. Prayer MTG man. Prayer booty man. Booty prayer magic gathering guy. Yeah, you want to come shoot some guns and hang out with the boys?

And drink ranch water. And drink ranch water. We got you, boy. Ranch and water. So you had Mario 3, Super Mario, Brothers 3. What was yours, Eli? You pissed your pants. What was the game that, even if you didn't piss yourself, what was the game that you would have pissed yourself to play?

I had two. Okay, well, let's break this up into two different things. You have your PC, because I think that's a different level of video game, like latch on. Like my PlayStation games. You gave me those old school games, Metal Gear Solid. Metal Gear Solid solid I played Like the first one I mean I used to be able to quote the entire fucking game

Like you're out it with your socks. Yeah, no look Colonel what's a Russian gunship doing here? Uh-huh indeed. That's it. That's exactly. And then it's like, they're going to America. Man, I could quote that whole goddamn game. Stop it. Beat it through all of it. Got all the ranks. Big boss. Like, literally just played that so goddamn much.

You go through the first event on the first story because it's faster. You don't have to worry about anything. And it's faster to traverse. If you do kill three people, when you have stealth camouflage, Gray Fox, they won't give you the speech about uh being a stealth killer yeah i know spin in three circles go left right

ab down exactly the game's done and i'm like bam but that i played way way too many times i had that game just yeah memorize you have the whole thing done yeah that's what like i would just see how fast i could beat it before speed running one so yeah i would just like run as fast as possible it was the best did you do that because you loved it and that was your game or was that like the only game like you had at the time i wasn't i had games at that time i wasn't like but that was like your shit that was my shit that like yeah that didn't deal with poverty that was just my game. I've seen those judging eyes. Those are not judging eyes. I only say that because there were times when I

had a game and it's all I could play because my parents couldn't buy me any more games. It won't take long to tell you Neutral's ingredients. Vodka. Soda. Natural flavors. So, what should we talk about?

No sugar added? Neutral. Refreshingly simple. That sucked, man. That was terrible. why don't y'all get better jobs guys oh man it's a four why'd you have to be i love you mother and father if you're listening i love you guys we're playing we're playing we love you we're gonna shit on you i'm playing we love you guys you gave us life i. Resident Evil 2, I put in a lot of hours. But the first one, EverQuest.

And EverQuest definitely dumped just hours. It sucked your soul out of your body. 40-hour raids were fine. 24 to 40-hour raids, you're like, okay. Or like camping spots. You just sit there for that, like 40 hours. Cool. I'll just get up and pee.

Oh, I just killed the placeholder. Get up, pee, eat real quick, come back. Okay, start the rotation. And you start a time. Yeah, just go, go, go. Whatever it was. And you just sit there and get whatever piece of gear. You would live that life.

You would never log out. Miss lots of school from it. But it's EverQuest. I didn't give a... I mean, that was one of the first MMOs. So you're in that world. You're having a good time. You're meeting new people. And when you're a badass in that game,

you're a fucking badass. Everyone knew you were getting through in that game. Not in the real world. Okay, okay. I thought that's where you were going with that. Still in high school. Not doing anything. I don't know how I never i i found anarchy online through like a game pro

uh article i never i didn't know what everquest was but i got into anarchy online which was around the same time period but it was you know sci-fi yeah and i fell in love with that the same way and i would spend like almost felt like middle school and the first half of high school playing Anarchy Online. It was the same shit though. It was an MMO so you get with friends, you do raids. Yeah. It consumes you. It consumes the fuck out of your life.

There were times when my friends would be like, you want to come out and hang out with chicks that really like you? And I'm like, no. Even like me wanting to hang out with chicks really bad would be like no i gotta raid you'll have a raid at uh 8 p.m uh they really need me uh my gps is next level i'll see you guys later yeah we did jared goings that's the dude

that got me involved on everquest he was like the kid in our apartment complex he had the game and we would sit at the bus stop he's telling me about it i was like i want this yeah he invited me over one day and like i was like the fuck am i watching right now because that's like a mind-blowing experience coming yeah for sure no computers and then going into that and i'm like and he started a drow or dark elf in that game. And he's like, there, you have like night vision. You can actually see. Your problem started young.

Yes. And I was like walking around. I was like, oh, what do I do here? Oh, why'd that guard kill me? Oh, you're, you worship the wrong God. So he doesn't like you. I was like, no, that's brutal. Just like real life.

Just like real life. That's okay. So shit. He's like, did you have anything? I was like, I don't know. All my starting stuff. He's like, well, you have to go back and get it. I was like, huh? He. I was like, so. Shit. He's like, did you have anything? I was like, I don't know. All my starting stuff. He's like, well, you have to go back and get it. I was like, huh?

Who? He's like, wait, what? I have to go get my stuff? He's like, yeah, you have to go collect it. I was like, oh, man, this game would be crazy the stronger you get. And then you get stronger, the world's gigantic, and it's just that whole exploring and everything. So I was like, oh, I love it. Batty?

What? Man. So I hate to even bring it up because this has been like four it was pokemon man without a doubt early game boy that was your jam dude holy red blue and it was red and then gold and silver i had both of them and eventually crystal and that one came out but like oh my god my game boy was everywhere i was i I was. I had spare batteries. I had the lights and shit because this was before the Game Boy had the backlight. I didn't have a Game Boy Color with the backlight. Yeah, you gotta have the little

light attachment that hangs over it. Because there was no backlight on the Game Boy. So it was, dude, that. That was a lot of my childhood. But if we're talking console stuff, because I didn't do a lot of PC gaming because it was the family computer, but when i did i was

always on starcraft starcraft 2 brood war dude battle.net any chance i could get online i would sneak online at night you know like hoping the modem wasn't too fucking loud dude straight up just praying so i could sneak on and fucking get on battle.net to get in some StarCraft 2 games, or StarCraft games. That was fucking brutal. But the first, like, RPG that was like, well, goodbye world. Morrowind and Oblivion, the two Elder Scroll games. Because I got into Morrowind a little later than its launch. Morrowind was so good.

Dude, Morrowind was amazing. That water was so mind-blowing back in the day. Yeah, holy shit, right? I was like, this game's graphics will never get past this. Oblivion, though, was the first RPG that I did everything in. There was nothing I did not do for Oblivion. Elder Scrolls for Oblivion. You did everything.

Literally everything. I actually got into a review of Game Informer magazine way back in the day because I used to write all the time about Oblivion because that was the first time that was when dlcs were coming out you know you used to be able to go out and you'd buy your fucking dlc disc oh and you'd have to download off the disc because you weren't getting that shit offline half the time you couldn't do that so i remember game informer every month would come with a disc and you'd get like fucking trials to like the horse armor the the most memed fucking DLC ever. I don't give a fuck.

I had that horse armor and I fucking loved it. But yeah, I got into a couple different articles of Game Informer just because I was writing about Oblivion so much because I was playing it so much and I knew every single fucking thing about that game. Brad, you're wrong from Game Informer. Technically, you have to start the quiz wrong this way okay uh just i'm actually in not game informer uh what was the other ones god there was like game tips and tricks tips and tricks yep tips and tricks i was in that for around anymore not now all those weird they all died i think so tips and tricks i was in one of the issues for uh i had one issue for drawing and then one issue for armored core because i armored core i dude holy shit why is

there not a new armored core they haven't had ps3 was the last one it's a travesty dude armored core was like the first straight up it was gu Gundam on crack. You could completely customize your Armored Core, your robot. Different guns, missile launchers on your back. You could put everything in. You'd make your dude too heavy so he couldn't move fast, but he was armored as fuck. Oh, God. Armored Core was so good. It was so – it was like that was my jam.

And number two, I wrote in. I was like, hey, my mech can destroy any one of your mechs. That thing. Cause you would write in your exact build and then they would test it and compete with all the other mechs. I had the one that won all the, the entire tournament. That was one. I was like my proud moment.

And my boy Jordan. God, that was high school. Jordan. Shout out to Jordan. Yeah. Jordan Black. Shout out to Jordan. Yeah, Jordan Black. You're out there. He, during high school, we were sitting at lunch. He was like, you ever heard of Armor Corps?

I was like, yeah. I have a pretty cool mech. I've played that before. Yeah, once or twice. He was like, my mech could crush yours. I have, going through the tournament in the game, you have a tournament system you go through. And I was like, I, I mean, he's like, he's like, yeah, come come over bring your mech i was like okay put it on my plate like you had your memory memory card you'd bring your memory card everywhere you went back yeah and i was like click and then i look at

his mech i was like bro your mech sucks and he's like no it's gonna be and i fucking wrecked him he was like i can't do anything what that was like be dodging every attack just with your boosters. Yeah. And I had the nuke and the carousel. So I had like the full, the gangster build up. And I just destroyed him. He's like, this is like,

like Gundam when I'm like a regular mech and you have like the Epion system. I was like, fuck yeah, bro. I built this to destroy. Get wrecked, Jordan Black. Get wrecked.

Get wrecked, son. I remember you from high school. You died like a bitch. Love you, Jordan. I hope you're living school. You died like a bitch. Love you, Jordan. I hope you're living a wonderful life right now. Ranchwater. Discover the magic of BetMGM Casino, where the excitement is always on deck.

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gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connex Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. BetMm operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario ranch water but yeah so you had what just oblivion what was your first pc and then starcraft uh my first like pc like addiction was starcraft brood war okay that and diablo 2 but starcraft brood war was without a doubt. Woo! Man, those 24-7 money maps. Do you remember the naming convention of the old Battle.net? Because it was nothing.

Old school Battle.net is nothing like it is now, obviously. No, God no. It's completely new. But it was like this weird like... Text box. Yeah, exactly. And it was just like green text. And if you knew how to use some CSS, you could fucking put different colors in your text. And everyone's like, well, how do you do that?

And you just be like, I just copy pasted it from another one I saw. That's how you, that was the trick. And it was just like, there was lobbies about porn and people would draw like custom maps. So they would have custom maps with the minerals and crystals and shit into like naked chicks and shit, dude. Oh, my God. How many times did you jerk off to that, Batty? Okay. Ranch water.

Ranch water times. Man. Dude, yeah. StarCraft, though, that was, I was good at StarCraft Brood War, man. That was my life for a long time. I would just meme on people like Zerg rushing out the gate just to be a dick. Zerg rush? God. Imagine what I hate. time i would just meme on people like zerg rushing out the gate just to be a dick zerg rush god

imagine what i hate i love where we are right now with the twitch and everything but dear god i think the hours we could have dedicated to twitch if we were younger at that time frame because i would have twitched like nonsense i don't know about you i would have just twitched the entire time i'd be like what's up guys welcome guys? Welcome to my 48-hour stream. Dude, imagine being 15 and knowing this shit. 48-hour stream. I got into the game at 27 or 28. Your body can handle that.

Batty does it. He's dying in front of us. 24 hours. He's like, well, I mean, I also do that a lot. My body is dying. What's your longest stream, Betty? 39 and a half hours. Straight,

nonstop. Never. Kings did a 48, so like. I don't know. I was really mad because I was wide awake after I finished that 39.

Like, I was just bored. So I was like, I guess I'm just going to end now, guys. I don't know what else to fucking do.

I'd been playing Tarkov for 39 and a half hours. I was like, see you later, I guess. And I was awake the rest of the day. I was like, I don't know what else to fucking do. I'd been playing Tarkov for 39 and a half hours. I was like, see you later, I guess. And I was awake the rest of the day. I was like, I should have just stayed on. Like me at nine hours in stream, I'm like, what day is it? Where am I? Where have I been?

Yeah, where? Who am I? No, I can just stay awake forever. Yeah. I don't sleep anyways. Imagine you streaming Anarchy at young at 15 played it for 12 hours straight anyways

no problem either it was a big game back then I could have had thousands of viewers you know concurrent viewers this is what you do with your that's it imagine if we had known about this shit and started building our audience that long ago. No.

I could play EverQuest for 20 to 30 hours forever. Until your fingers cramped. I would fall asleep on video games. I don't know if you guys do that. Oh, yeah. Holy shit, dude. You fall asleep on your keyboard sometimes and wake up and there's little squares in your fucking face. The amount of times I've fallen asleep playing my old Game Boy,

and then my Game Boy would die, and I'd have a panic attack when I woke up, because I'd be like, I turned it on. I'm like, I'm flicking the switch. It won't turn on. What was I doing?

Did I save? Do you remember pre-autosave games? Yeah. Of course. We grew up. We were in the golden age of video games, man. We are, yeah. We're experiencing it still, you know?

Yeah, which is really neat because, you know, video games are... We got to see the whole way. We got to see everything. I know. The start to now and you get to experience it all. It's just a glorious time. Man, like EverQuest, I'd fall asleep during auto-key when running. So I'd be like, oh, when running. So I just like,

I'd be like, Oh, auto key run and let my guy go. And I just remember, I'd be like, I woke up in my characters, like on his binded air, like where he died,

like a bind area. I was like, I have no idea where I died somewhere. Yeah. You died somewhere in this world. I was like, Oh, go to a zone.'d be like was it corpse find corpse find

it'd just be like not located i'm like it's not in this zone like walk to the next one corpse find and it just gives you a rough location it's like you have sent your course your your body north i'd be like well i guess i'm doing this for like three hours yeah i gotta locate this body now dude was everquest that big oh here oh ot so we have here's a good example ot to take the boat from uh oasis to ot soasis to OT. I think the boat trip. Just the boat trip to go. So, if you died one of these zones. This is just how you travel around. It's a 30-minute boat ride.

It's not like WoW where you get on the blimp and it zones you in? You go like, okay, I got to wait. Why don't you just zone people in? Why do you have to sit on the boat? Why is that a game mechanic? Because this was how it was. This was an experience. Okay, I got to wait for the boat.

You'd walk and you'd sit there. No, fuck that. 15 or 30 minutes and you'd just sit there. Everyone would sit so you'd talk and make new friends. You'd be like, hey, what's up, man? That was like Morrowind, didn't you? You were on one side of the map and you had to... There was no fast travel back then.

You just walked. I guess there was the silt striders. They kind of had fast travel. Yeah, no, no, no. You got teleported. You could go up on the big things with long legs. Yeah it was just walking you go okay got on the boat and then you just sit on the boat boat would wait for like five minutes and take off then it travels and it zones then it goes through that zone then it finally gets to ot and you pull up and you're like whoa i made it

fuck yeah let's go and then hopefully you got to where you needed to bind and not die. Otherwise you're doing that old trip again. So that's one zone. That's like, could you kill like quest NPCs? Yeah, they would. Oh,

but they're really strong. So yeah, I remember that. That was like my, my, like a learning moment for me in gaming and Morrowind. You could kill like the, the main quest NPCs.

Like they were tough. And then your game was just... A message would pop up on your screen being like, the moons and stars aren't aligned anymore. You've made a mistake that's irreversible. It was just like, what did I do? What the fuck was that?

You killed the main quest line NPC, or a quest giver, so you can no longer finish the game it's like hope you fucking saved bud that shit was wild or like you'd have a guide quest and one of them would die and then you're just screwed you're like well i can't play this game it was fucking brutal man like nowadays you can't do that shit you can't kill like the the main characters and shit you you knock them unconscious and they magically fucking wake back up in a minute god this is like oh the old stuff of like being able to stream that now okay if you had an op what would you stream now if you could stream

it let's say it didn't have rules you stream whatever you wanted like these days yeah these like are you saying we're constricted to streaming what people want to see but if we could stream what we wanted to yeah like if i was like if i could go on and if i could go on crunchyroll and just stream me watching anime 100 like i that's i would do that i'd be like welcome to my eight hour stream guys today we're watching the entire series of attack on titan play sit there just veg the fuck out oh man i would stream me playing uh rim world while watching anime in my bed see that's my happy place do you just play rim world on your laptop i do i get my laptop and i just play rim world and i have anime in the background and i just uh i veg out and i'm like yep oh dude it would be like my old school RPGs that I don't play anymore.

Absolutely. Morrowind, anything Elder Scrolls related. That's not Elder Scrolls online. Yeah. Do those old, I mean, I love like those old games.

They're just hard to stream. Like when you're playing, they're not good. It's a story. Games are hard to stream. Yeah. It's a content. It's just not because you're like,

how do I enter? Do I just talk and do voices? even then, like when it comes to stream. Yeah, it's the content's just not, because you're like, how do I enter, do I just talk and do voices? Well, even then, like, when it comes to, my issue with RPGs are story-driven games as a content creator, even more so as like an entertainer.

Like, I just want to veg out and fucking immerse myself. Anytime I'm in one of these RPGs, that's why I have trouble playing RPGs, I have trouble pulling myself out of the game constantly to read chat or talk yes because i'm no longer paying attention to the game like i would normally i'd be like fuck i just missed what that dude said i needed to know what that dude said like

even if it's not important it could be a mindless dumb fact it could be when you're walking through a town and a random guard says stop you like shit like that like i'm like i missed what he said i needed to know what he said and so like i that's why i can play a shooter all day because i don't i don't need to give a fuck no about what's going on it's rinse repeat the entire time you're like okay it's hard to play rpgs for me because i i lose that immersion that i needed playing rpgs what's the the one you were playing recently that just came out it's like dungeons and dragons balder's gate yeah they just came out balder's gate i i rp. Baldur's Gate 3. Yeah, they just came out with Baldur's Gate 3. I RP'd through the entire thing. It was actually a lot of fun.

Wait, you beat it? No. Well, I stopped because I... So Baldur's Gate 3 came out in early access. Trust me, and that's why I stopped. That's exactly why I stopped. I played like five hours into it. It wasn't because it was too buggy or because it was bad.

No, you got the good one. The content... Yeah, it was great for me. The content isn't finished. And I don't want to get burnt out before the game's done i don't want to play through an early access rpg when you're only getting half of the story in an unfinished stage it's gonna ruin it for me i'm not gonna want to play it again like i have trouble replaying certain rpgs and like i don't want to like

all the characters aren't in all the classes are in it like fuck man no god no because i had it where it was like you get the ship down yep ship goes down you go out of the burning ship and you know you can go left or right and left has those brain monsters yeah i was like oh intellect devourers yeah and they they didn't give me no warning like oh they just killed the fuck out of you yeah and i and then autosave was before the big fight in the ship, and I was like, you've been autosaving this entire time, video game. You have autosaved this entire

fucking time. I beat the boss, the plane goes down, and you don't fucking autosave after the big boss in the hour cinematic, and then I die like a bitch because brain thing, you didn't say don't fucking autosave after the big boss and the hour cinematic, and then I die like a bitch because brain thing. You didn't say don't go that way. I just went that way in a fucking instant.

One shot at me. I was like, cool. I'll just load right here. That's a taste of old school gaming, dude. It wasn't. Oh, I was so mad. Dude, could you? Okay.

15-year-old Eli, you know what you would have done, though? You would have done the exact same fucking thing over and over again because you know what? You didn't have a life, and you could just do that. But now you're like, I got shit to do later, man. I don't want to wait another hour. And I would have saved myself, because auto save really just hit or miss on me.

In RPGs, I'm a paranoid saver. Like, I absolutely. Oh, you're the guy that's like, auto save. You see it and you're like, save. Straight up, dude. You save again. F4, F4, F4, F4. Doesn't this, yeah. straight up save you save again f4 yeah it was good though like pass that I mean I want to play it I'm super excited because I love ballers gay it's you do

too like it's ballers gate I it just needs to be finished I think if we did a co-op story that would be a good so my issue with co-op stuff in a lot of these games I had this issue with Divinity 2 as well. If you start it and other people aren't there, like you want to play it one time. Because it's hard to get us all together sometimes. Like I can't play my character. I'm just fucking shelved.

And then you end up, or somebody will play and their character will, and then they'll play all the characters. Because it's not like when you want to play, it's only your character. You then have to take care of everybody's shit. Oh, yeah. Oh, so you'd have to have a, and that's a hard because you want to play it's only your character you then have to take care of everybody's shit oh so you have to have that and that's a hard because you want to start that schedule and we'd be like okay two days a week we have to do this you know and then exactly and then

i don't know i've had that's why with rpgs and shit i just i just want to veg out so i can't stream them true true i just want to watch anime i know i've been wanting to play an rpg for a while now and i feel like every chance every chance to have downtime i just i don't know i haven't found anything i want to do downtime's the hardest like my downtime we discussed it before anime's my go-to for downtime like out i'm kind of playing uh dragon quest 9 but it's still i because that's the switch i get to lay in my bed and play that for 30 minutes and go to bed rpgs though you're just like i have to grind this is a jrpg i you have to especially old school rpgs there's there's a good grinding aspect there yeah there's like but have you okay so this is the the horrible thing about

nostalgia is like you remember how happy you were when you were younger playing a game and then you try to revisit it like i tried to play chrono trigger recently and was like i know you put it down instantly yeah it's like you get you're like you try to give it a chance you try to give it a chance and you're trying so hard and you get like 20 minutes into it, and you're just like, I'm going to go work. I'm going to go do other things. I want to make money. I want to do anything else. Nostalgia glasses, dude.

They kill you. Yeah, exactly. Nostalgia glasses. That's what it is, man. It's so rough. P99 is the OG EverQuest, so it's like playing vanilla EverQuest, and that was how it was. I was like, fuck yeah. I'm going to install this. This has everything. I tried to do that recently. I tried to play EverQuest. And that was how it was. I was like, fuck yeah, I'm going to install this.

This has everything. I tried to do that recently. I tried to play EverQuest 2, I think it was. Oh, God. At least that had a map. It had a map, though. Yeah. I couldn't do it.

I played a couple hours and I was like, I can't do this. Imagine, the best way to explain EverQuest is imagine World of Warcraft, but Tarkov. That's EverQuest. No map, no HUD. Oh, no. Your HUD, there is a HUD. Like, in order to recharge your mana as a magic user, wizard, or anything, and this is OG, you'd have to meditate. Meditate, then, is the book opens, and now that covers your entire screen.

So you can't see anything around. You can't see what's going on, man. And you just sit there for, and oh, my God, you got health every, I forget how many seconds. It was every tick, six seconds, 10 seconds. And it was only like four health or? It was slow. 12. So in order to get all, dude, the old raids, your warrior characters would have to sit

there for 30 minutes to recharge all their... No shit. So everyone in the raid would just have to wait for the tank. That was when you got your food. There was no... Yeah, there was no food

at that time. So food and stuff didn't exist. No, no. I meant when I say food, I mean, in real life, you'd go get food. You're literally waiting. You would literally go...

Break time. Go. We're fucking... We're taking a short rest. We're sitting there. Yeah, imagine it's like, okay, guys, we just beat that fucking...'re taking a short rest sitting there yeah imagine it's like okay guys whoo we just beat that fucking uh that the second boss in the raid okay uh every one hour break get up you go get your fucking food you eat you drink you piss you do everything eat and then

okay everyone's health and mana back up we're good we're good okay let's get this right going guys we're going on boss three now what a life train bro but that was the greatest fucking thing in the world it was like the excitement like i'm ready to go i want to do i want to rate i'm going to spend the next 14 hours doing this and you were happy and that didn't matter like fuck going outside take that dad the world ain't going outside dad what are you thinking yeah those old games now when i play um even when i play xenogears because i try to make a every couple years i play through xenogears old playstation game and i do an emulator but with the random battles yeah i just do it times 100 speed. Because emulators, you can fast forward.

Oh, you can speed you up. Yeah, yeah. I do the same thing with it. I just auto. I just hold that for random battles, spam the attack button, kill them, kill them. And at that moment, I was like, random battles are fucking stupid. They serve no purpose other than to grind. That is it.

They've got to put some kind of content in there between bosses. Emulators are kind of like the greatest thing in the world, though. I've used so many to, again, do randomized runs on Pokemon games, shit like that. If people listening to this don't know what an emulator is you can download a Playstation a Gameboy any console Gamecube

you can download that on your PC and play any game you want to for free any old game make them look way better too and you can save them at any point. Yes. Oh, the auto-

Oh, man. Control-S. The emulator screen saves. It doesn't matter if in-game saves. Fuck that. Don't need that anymore. Control-S or F2, I think it's some, which I've accidentally hit F3, and then it loads your last one, and you're like, oh, shit, that was an hour ago. Yeah.

Okay. Fuck. Oh, God. Fuck. Oh, God. Yup, man. Oh, dude, emulators are cool. Super fun. That's like the greatest thing in the world now. And you get to just enjoy those old video games

and kind of get rid of the bad shit like auto battles. Yeah. Leveling up. You can dump so many more mods into that stuff, too. Like you said, you can speed it up times a hundred so you just don't have to deal with bullshit shit they go into those boss battles like a boss because i would just be like okay time to get to level 10 right now on xenogears before i even move to the next part just after it times 10 my character's like just running in circles and he's

just like beating the shit out of every random encounter i'm like and level 10 and it's like real time it was 30 seconds. And I'm walking to the next boss battle, punch him in the face, win. I'm like, cool, this game's fucking great. When you're a kid, though, it takes four days to get to that point. Dude, for real, man.

That's crazy, the difference in time. It's why most games are so streamlined now. They hold your hand. Every step of the way man could you imagine being like hey good luck playing ever quest 2 or some bullshit to somebody now the rage yeah it is maybe that's why i like tarkov so much it's an mmo like if tarkov is literally there's no help there's no tutorials there's no you just hail random npcs until you get what you want you're like hell

hell hell and you learn really fast to hit enter to type stuff because a is auto attack so you'd be like you walk up and you're just like oh i need to type something this npc okay um after and you hit like a on accident and you're like your character like hey little 50 guard yeah the guard just takes your head off fuck oh my god dude fuck walk back to your corpse and loot it put your equipment back on yeah okay I'm gonna type this right this time. Old school gaming hurt. It hurt. Physical pain. Now that's why you guys like Tarkov. That's why you guys like Tarkov. That's why you want demons.

It's masochist. What were we as kids though? We were kind of masochist. It hurt us game and it did every time. It did and it hurt so good. It took so many hours of my life. Hurt me more. Jesus Christ. Oh my god. time and it hurt so good it took so many hours of my life hurt me more jesus i wish i could like you said the nostalgia glasses like i just i sit here and i'm like

oh i had so much fun with that game like anarchy online i revisited it recently and they created a new server there because the servers have been on for 22 years now and they just created a new server where everyone started over and i went back and i played it a little bit yeah they gave me some they gave me some uh like gift cards and stuff i hooked up with them to give to people in chat like i loved it for like three days and then was just like i can't do this yeah this isn't the same as when i was you know when i was 12 and couldn't stop playing this to the point where I was failing school. The graphics were amazing, too.

Back in that day. Remember Unreal Tournament back when that fucking shit came out? Oh, Unreal Tournament was so fun. Dude, that was another game I dumped my life into for a while. Remember the map where it's floating in space? Yup, and you have to jump for platforms. Oh, yes. Yes.

There was the jump, and wasn't there a connecting bridge? Yup, there was a little bridge. Because there and there was, wasn't there a connecting bridge? Yep. There was like a little bridge because there was four corners. Wasn't there a center platform? Yes, there was the center and then the bridges, the long bridges and then the actual columns.

There were columns, right? Something like that, yeah. A way for people to run over that hill and just snipe, snipe, snipe. And that game, you learn how to shoot really good in those games

because if you go back and play, even now, it's that instantaneous, like it's it's so guys if you've never played even the new unreal tournament because they have the brand new one out yeah and you play that shit you're like scan man it's so it's crack too like everyone's like like just flying and you're like two two then you go play Tarkov and you're like clunk sneaking through the bushes this fast just slow is different your character is winded after like a sprint

get more than 40 kilos in gear too heavy Jesus Christ I was like Patty why are you crawling he's like okay you're standing but actually climb moves forward if you're crawling. So you're actually pushing forward during this. I was like,

it's been a while since I played Tarkov. Things have changed. What's this yellow indicator? You're overweight. You don't remember the military when we were, you know, too tired from walking where you'd get on the ground and crawl so that you could regain your stand. Yeah.

So stand up. I'm tired. It's real life. Like, what is that mechanic man fuck exactly so what is this mechanic

I think that's it I think it's it's kind of the end we're kind of we're kind of there okay then Jonah's about to tell a story and you just

cut him off yeah fuck you you know what is this the halfway point or is this the end of an episode this is it this is the end.

That's a full. I love the shotgun meta in Tarkov where you shoot people in the leg and they die instantly. That's all I wanted to say. Absolutely. That was your last like, I really just really care about that shotgun meta right now? Dude, I love it. I haven't got to play it. Don't play it.

It's not so fun. I was destroying people. Why? Because I told my community and Matt that I played oh because you told Matt fine

whatever we'll play shotgun meta Tuesday yay okay and I have to edit the video tonight yeah

yeah definitely speaking of video where can we find the video that you're listening to right now you can go on youtube.com backslash

channel channel podcast unsubscribe. Just search unsubscribe podcast. There's links everywhere. Unsubscribe podcast on YouTube. We've taken over that. We've taken over all those people. It is nice.

Now when you search us, we populate everything first. So yeah, you can find unsubscribed Podcast on YouTube, on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Amazon, Google, Stitcher, Podbean, Castro, all the things. I'm trying to make sure it's up everywhere for you guys. Leave a review. Please leave a review if you do or a comment on YouTube. Yeah. But like not a mean one. It hurts my feelings.

That one twat left that fucking one star. We're looking at you. You didn't even say why you left the one star. left that fucking one star We're looking at you You didn't even say why you left the one star You just left one But whoever also said This is a podcast with three dudes Two good ones And one funny one

God bless your soul So you can find Eli everywhere Eli Double Tap, Donut Everywhere, Donut Operator And I'm Batty Fuck off goodbye so you can find eli everywhere eli double tap donut everywhere donut operator and i'm batty streams fuck off