Unsubscribe Podcast - 61 - BADDIE'S BEARD IN TARKOV!?

Episode Date: July 6, 2022

Unsubscribe Ep61 - BADDIE'S BEARD IN TARKOV!? AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ESCAPE FROM TARKOV!!!! OUR MERCH: https://www.bunkerbranding.com/pages/unsubscribe-podcast WE HAVE A SUBREDDIT??? https://www.reddit.com/r/UNSUBSCRIBEpodcast/ CHECK OUT https://outofregz.com/ CODE: UNSUB http://gfuel.com/discount/baddie CODE: BADDIE ------------------------------ WHERE TO LISTEN Spotify https://spoti.fi/2Ye8YOU Apple Podcasts https://apple.co/3cbqY4k Amazon https://amzn.to/2YbzQia Google Play https://bit.ly/2YcWmaD Stitcher https://bit.ly/3cbnY8o ------------------------------ Follow the Cast of Unsubscribe -Baddie- @Baddie Streams https://www.twitch.tv/baddie https://twitter.com/BaddieStreams https://www.instagram.com/baddiestreams/ https://www.youtube.com/baddiestreams -DonutOperator- @Donut Operator @Operation Donut https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwkm_Wcyh0pc7UUmZZfL-6w https://www.instagram.com/donutoperator/ https://www.twitch.tv/DonutOperator https://twitter.com/DonutOperator -Eli_Doubletap- @Eli Doubletap https://www.instagram.com/eli_doubletap/ https://www.twitch.tv/Eli_Doubletap https://twitter.com/Eli_Doubletap https://www.youtube.com/c/EliDoubletap ------------------------------ Edited by Fluck https://www.twitch.tv/fluck Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Wait, are you going? This is so refreshing god i could just have a hundred of these your sponsor here water you have to do one if i'm heron of the dog and he's hearing of the dog saying it like that stop saying heron of the dog. You're not a bird. The heron of the dog. There we go. Fluck, okay, rewind everything. Just be like... Wait. Fucking hate it here. Say hi to Eli.

He's racially ambiguous. Baddie. That guy's fucking ridiculous. Donut. That's harder to rhyme, but he's a really nice guy welcome to unsubscribe hey guys thanks for watching unsubscribe podcast um make sure wherever you're listening or watching whether it's on youtube uh castro spotify apple google amazon poder, or... That's all of them. Please leave a comment, like it, thumbs up it, give it a rating of five stars, whatever you do.

It helps the podcast out immensely. And Donut and Eli will be very happy if you do that. And we want to make Donut and Eli happy today. Yeah, five stars on everything. And a comment if there is possible, because we need to be at the top don't say something motivating and that's where the you come that is come subscribe hi everyone unsubscribe podcast here i'm here this week and i'm joined by baddie and eli and we're just doing the core three

now we don't have a guest it's called the trifecta the trifecta the come fuckta bro oh is it hot and batty sounds like yeah that's what i'm more excited about with the real quick address all the hvac technicians in my in our comments go fuck yourselves no one fixed your problem no because it's not it's not it's the installation this goddamn room oh i know it is every other room my house is totally fine you walk in here you put us under No one fixed your problem. No, because it's not the installation in this goddamn room. Oh, I know. It is. Every other room in my house is totally fine. You walk in here, you put us under some lights and us next to each other.

Suddenly, we're all sweating. Yeah, it feels like there's just a... We're in the greenhouse of the part of the house. It cooks. It cooks right here. The sun is... Just glass. You don't have a ceiling.

It's just glass. It's just like inside a car. We're doing a podcast. We're like, oh, man. I wish our parents would have rolled down the windows kind of fun to do not the greenhouse thing, but take the podcast somewhere and we just like we're all sitting in a fucking car

with a camera on the dash and we're talking like we have to and just do some fucked up podcast like for like an hour and all the windows are up and it's like man. I gotta get my babies die now. Yeah, we guess I gotta get my babies dying out. Weak ass bitches. We made it an hour.

Fucking weak ass babies. Fucking stupid dogs in our eyes. Stupid animals. What a bunch of pussy ass dogs. We're just all covered in sweat. Our machines aren't working at that point. Three influencers died. Because they're fucking idiots. To prove that babies were pussies.

That's all it says. It's like, what were these idiots doing? Upload the last episode, though. I hate it. We're hungover. All of us are hungover. I'm not. You're not hungover.

I feel fantastic. Yeah. You do. Why? Huh? hungover. I'm not. I feel fantastic. Why? Huh? How? I don't know. Is that what alcohol does? Yeah. Cody's like, I'm fine. I woke up and was like, I'm gonna work today. And like took a shower and

worked and made a video. Like, fuck. You realize it's Sunday. Is it? Yeah. Oh yeah, 4th of July is tomorrow. We don't have plans we have no plans no we remembered it was fourth at lunch we had a big celebration yesterday uh black rifle and bernie had the block party and they shut off the street and have a car show and have a bunch of vendors and that was fucking cool that one was popping that was actually pretty cool i was like

okay dope we did that you got we have a lot to talk. Well, a lot and a little. You got Tarkov White, Batty Beard in Tarkov. Did we talk about that already? No. Briefly talk. Kind of. We've said, they've said it was coming, but we never got to like, it's in game.

Yeah, it's in game. Batty got beard cream too. It's all, this podcast can just be called Batty. That's true. Dave. Dave life changes. Turns it around. Dave turns it around.

It's the podcast. Once again to all the idiots who listen. If you call me Dave in my own Twitch chat, I'm going to ban you. Get fucked. He's been banning people I just bad on this Brandon because they come into my stream and they're like what a baddie burn me and I'm like you fucking probably called him Just like now the comments there's no rhyme or reason

Man sure do love that great guy Fucking Greg I guess some guy called me and said, man, I sure do love that Greg guy. I'm like... I was just like, Greg? These comments now are... Do I look like a fucking Greg? Fuck you if your name's Greg. Oh, I will give a shout out real quick to... Who are we shouting out? Well, all of us, because we're going to take... Shout out to us.

Yeah, shout out to us for being gangsters. We're fucking... Let me find this. What? Well, I got to find it. Okay, that's not Okay, I'm sure happy you had this ready to go. I did I was like I might have I think I did. Don't open your photos so the camera can see it. There we go. Oh, I found it.

Did you take a screenshot? Yeah, I did. Who we shall know. Garrick Glebke. I think that's your name, bro. He's like, what's crack-a-lackin'? Did he say that? Yeah, he said, what's crack-a-lackin'? I gotta say that I found a podcast two weeks ago

on spotify and started banging it out or binging it i mean uh listening to work and all that shit uh currently just oh but wait do i have to read this for you eli do i have to read that's not the right one you didn't graduate high school i know that's that's why i was gonna sound it out But But Oh there we go Yeah this is the one I was like Did he write a fucking essay Yeah it's a big one He's binging it I mean listening to all your shit on day for 14 hours a day While at work

Currently just restarted the podcast for the second time I've been battling some severe depression And listened to y'all banter from the offenders To anime titles to occasional almost, it's almost like therapy and it's really affected me in a positive manner and brought out the depression I was in. Hopefully y'all see this and know

that at least one person's life was changed for the better because of y'all. Keep on keeping on. It was a positive. We fixed one person. We did it guys! The offender! We saved! We stopped one person. We did it, guys! The offender! We saved! We stopped self-sleep! Come factor!

We did it! Like, that was a positive message, and then Batty starts off by calling him fucking stupid. I know! Like, you got a stupid fucking name. And he's like, thanks, I didn't self just imagine a therapist like someone's like I ain't feeling good doc have you ever heard I prescribe you

this show sometimes listen to them but don't do what they do I was like what the fuck well that's good that's a positive that's do. I was like, what the fuck? Well, that's good. That's a positive. That's awesome, man. I just like that.

He's like, fuck him. He's stupid. This is dumb. I'm alive because of you. Oh. Fucking Dave, everyone. Oh, man. I fucked up.

You probably banned that guy from your Twitch chat. That man has absolutely been banned in my Twitch chat. Baddie's the 13th. He's like, man, I'm going to type in Baddie's chat. Dave, what's up? Enter, you've been banned. Don't meet your heroes. Because they banned you. Fuck you, Baddie. heroes because they made it

you bad but man you could you gotta fucking okay we'll start with tarky wife we'll actually talk about oh okay how's that rtx oh yeah we'll talk about rtx real quick that was our conventions dead yeah conventions are absolutely fucking

dead what's rtx uh roosterteeth yeah oh shit we're in austin so just a little drive's RTX? Rooster Teeth. Yeah. Oh, shit. Over in Austin. So just a little drive. This is Rooster Teeth's first convention back since like fucking shit. Oh, sorry. The gingivitis. And it was rough. Like the people were great as always.

Super cool people. Their enforcers are called Guardians. Way cooler. Okay. Way cooler. That's a way cooler name yeah yeah well i'd feel kind of lame actually if i had to i don't know about that but it was kind of i felt bad i felt bad for him because i the rest of the people are like jeff ramsey from is literally the reason i started making content

on youtube when i before yeah naturally and it was just like there was like 300 people there it was bad red versus blue to the OG's that's that's what they did was right there first like big thing cuz I think I had him on DVD yeah first two seasons or whatever yeah fucking crazy my god you know what there's probably a lot of people who listen to the podcast who are younger than red versus blue yeah they don't know who caboose is yeah oh private caboose what are you doing yeah griff uh red versus blue was uh their first big thing and it was halo it was halo one right yeah and they just voiced over doing funny skits in halo one multiplayer yeah yeah because you could only be red or fucking blue.

And it was Blood Gulch, and they used to do... That was like the first series done like that, I think. That's 20 years old. That's 20... When did it come out? It's got to be 20 years old at least. It has to be older because I was in Crawfordsville... 25...

20... Wait. 22 years old? It's probably like 20, 22 years old It's probably like 20-22 years old No way It's not Is it?

It has to be Red vs. Blue drink now? 19 Okay 2003 They can join the military That came out in 2003 I thought I was older than that

Yeah high school I guess senior That's so wild dude What would have been my senior year? God 19 years Is fucking Ancient That's so wild, dude. What would have been my senior year? God, 19 years is fucking ancient. That's insane. We're old. Oh, no.

Daddy's like, no. No, this is not right. Fuck, dude. But conventions are dying, aren't they? Now you're hungover and sad. Dude, me trying to figure out how I fucked the mics up last sorry about that last podcast guys i fucked that hard uh i literally moved the working mic out of the way but i'm so loud it's still registered on on the the audio levels i looked over i'm like oh i see my levels i'm good all the mics are working i love

it still picked you up from across the table yeah literally and I put it in the middle of the camera too instead of like out of the fucking way uh that was a mess also we did it we got our first age restriction oh yeah fuck dude number 60 the big six seven podcast we got age restricted that's insane that is that that is absolutely insane because every one of our podcasts has been monetized up until that we have one yellow no we have three yellow but not at the start like it takes a day

or two well most have been about seven days and then they get yellowed yeah but we haven't gotten the 18 plus yeah that's an age restriction so that's a donut video right there that's one of my main that's a donut video right there right that's that's one of my main channel videos fucking age restricted age restricted age restricted i was like holy

shit like you guys told me i was i was on vacation and and that that's why i wasn't on the podcast you guys told me it's age restricted like what the fuck did you talk about and i was like oh and then i started reading the comments and going through sections. I was like, yeah, we went pretty hard on that stuff. Yeah, we went pretty hard. Jeepers. That bottle was full when we started the podcast. It was like... That was a plane crash.

Oh, yeah. That was a straight up plane crash, man. Oh, good. That was fucking hilarious. We took off and boy, oh boy, did we have an onboard fire halfway through. Discover the magic of BetMGM Casino, where the excitement is always on deck. Pull up a seat and check out a wide variety of table games

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Uh-uh. Uh-uh. Just crash. How do we take off? Just crash. You guys are the ones that took the plane off. Uh-uh. Just flying in the air at this moment.

Whatever. Fucking whatever. Oh, man. But conventions are dead. Like PAX East, bummer.mer packs West the the biggest bummer RTX um I hadn't been to before it's usually not a big big convention. No, but it's not it's usually ed. Yeah, it was It was dead you said bummer. I love roosterteeth. I love everything they do and that was sad I. I don't really give a fuck if PAX sucks. It's a bummer. But when you see something that other

creators have made and that fucking bombed, I'm like, because they're not going to want to do it next year. No one came after this. PAX South is gone forever. That one's indefinitely done. That was here in San Antonio. I moved to San Antonio and then PAX went away.

Bummer. Why do you think it was so bad? why there were so many little people there just people aren't coming to going to conventions like people don't want to deal with restrictions they don't want to deal with that's true too because you said they had the there's hoops you got to jump through to to even go like you have to whether you take a test or not you have to go download some app on your phone scan in your you have to have your driver's license or identify all this shit. You got a scan in a test that sorry gingivitis test and You gotta wear a mask the whole time. This is Texas. So like even if it's Austin a lot Funniest things like on the con floor

Massive er you leave the convention we go to the industry the industry party all the same people that night Closer there was nobody on the con floor so everybody was six feet apart because there was space We're literally shoulder-to-shoulder Sharing drinks like okay. Well, I Don't know. I haven't been like the last few i remember cons were fun as hell dude i i dude like going to twitch con and see that sucks i never got to go to any before fucking oh that's what sucks is because you missed out on like pax prime when it was pax prime pax seattle and it was like a hundred thousand

hundred and twenty thousand people like dude it was the streets packs arcade was packed across the street like it was just packed and you're having fun you're interacting with people it was like you're like holy shit there's lines for everything though because it is fucking packed now you go and you're just like a tumbleweed rolls by straight up man like i was there's a shooting. Cowboys are like, what the hell is going on here? Cowboys. Oh, that's funny. They have tax besides Section 8 housing or something?

I don't know. Maybe unsubcon will get better. Oh yeah, we still got to plan that. We still're gonna plan the unsub come I get asked about that every That was a month ago. We said we were I know I got four months to fucking probably should at least start like a document Let's get a g-dog that we can all share so we can all like write each other cute notes on the side of it But we're not actually planning, you know, yeah, hey the g-dogs never getting done Someone's gonna create in this group, and it's going to stay red. I will make sure we put notes in, okay?

You know what? For you guys, for you, what was that guy's name? Which guy? Gabe Glibbon. Gabe Glibbon? Yeah. Gavin Glibbon. Gavin Glibbon.

Gabe Glibbon. Garrick Gleb key Gabe Garak Gorky all right Gabe living I just like he's like Garrett's like you've changed my life. Thank you, and we're like like shop game Yeah Look we have on subcon we'll fly you out and put you up oh okay so we're gonna have a business talk if we never have unsubcon he has to

keep waiting he has to survive oh yeah for long because where you seen he's gonna smoke himself after on subcon He's so excited we're talking about him he's also like I can't show my fucking friends or family what they're saying about Other pieces of shit Tom shit oh no we just doxed them well i'm sure there's a bunch of those tom bro we're fucking idiots are we really gonna have are we gonna try the convention or you think we're just gonna forget no we have to i think we gotta try we gotta have a convention where you don't have to get an app and wear masks and get vaccinated cards. I know.

My biggest fear is like, we gotta do it this way. And then we're hit with all the regulations for said conventions and everything. Like the space where you're like, no, you have to have this. No, fuck off. No, no, I'm like, oh, then we don't do it. Like, it would be like, I don't want people to be like, yeah, come out and then fucking be miserable. Dude, well, then instead of like, they they have flash mobs we'll do a flash convention then we can rob it that's been happening i've seen that a lot on twitter lately

flash mobs unsubscribe I can't wait for like the internet historian to do our story where we can't fucking canceled and arrested or flash convention Oh god in one of the rooms at the convention We just need like a tent with a heater and we'll call Batty's house. You can walk through it. Experience it. It's just going to be a table with

some lights and a microphone. You can talk about how much you hate it. We have a guy that has IRS on the outside. He just takes money from you as you walk through. Anybody dragons on you? No? Move along. The experience.

What are our enforcers going to be called? Do we ever come up with that? Nerds. Cumlings? Cumlings? I don't know. What? I don't know.

I was just pitching shit. What's wrong with that? Have you never listened to this fucking podcast, Matty? Your superpowers literally come. I'm too hungover. I know all of us are like, no, Cody's greatly smiling and happy.

I'm sweating. But the problem is I was sweating before I got here. I was in my truck in the AC sweating. You never get too hungover and you start sweating out the booze and you're like, oh, I smell like a Miller Lite. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's hot.

It is a warm room. Well, I mean, outside too. Yeah. It's also 110 fucking degrees south. It was like a 114 on my Raptor the other day Yeah I've been definitely using my like remote start app That thing is a lifesaver

I'm actually mad at myself my remote start button on my my keychain hasn't been working I forgot I can do it from an app on my phone yeah you can afford that dude i know i haven't i just forgot because i'm an idiot yeah i literally i'm like i step outside i'm like now we're gonna wait at least five minutes before i walk out that door right now i would not live here fucking i would not live here the world goes to shit and we don't have like electricity or anything. Oh we'll move north. 100%. Oh yeah. Like I think California like that coast stays about 80 to 70. Yeah.

The water's cold as fuck all year round. Oh yeah. I don't need to get in the water. Yeah. The world's ending. The world's ending. I'm not going to be like man this water's too cold Cody. I was just not feeling it. Okay so if the world does end there's going to be a lot of people there. We can take their food and enslave their children because it's California.

That's Cody, not us. We're going to have way more guns, dude. We're going to have someone to work our labor. Someone's got to work the crops, okay? I'm not going to do it. okay? Do it I have guns I have guns I'm not doing it doesn't matter Elementary school we just have the front of a building Today we're learning carrots. Just harvest for the next 12 hours.

Come back the next day. We're learning some more carrots today. Grab your carrot bag. You have the carrot bag they drag around just chucking carrots in it. I don't want it. Well, you don't want mommy to die either, do you? Do it, Timmy. Fucking just peel the carrots up right now.

I don't want to be here anymore. I don't want you here. Fuck me. I don't know. I just hope none of us run for Congress. They're just going to segment from this podcast. When the world does end, we can make our own Congress. That's what I'm saying.

You're going to vote for me. Hashtag apocalypse things. The square table. Knights of the square table. Still this little. We just wear helmets and random shit. Swearing in the new president. Swagger souls.

Yeah, swagger souls. LED lights, give him a buster sword. Our currency is magic cards. Pokemon cards and magic cards. That's it. This would cost you five lands. Fuck, man. I only got four lands today.

It's like Elon Musk opens his safe with four black lotuses in it. That's the big... Why does your house keep trying to fucking kill us, dude? I like all of his junk. The light's going to get us again. That light is engie. No, I like all of his junk. The light's going to get us again. That light is engie. No, I like this. For everybody who can't see what Eli's doing,

he's using cardboard to make like a little block thing for the light so it looks prettier or some shit. I don't know. He explained it twice and I already forgot. But it keeps falling because it's literally a year-old piece of cardboard that's been ripped a bunch. We've been using that as a prop for like. We should sign that and send it to Gabe Glibbon.

We probably should. Do you want to sign that and send it to Gabe Glibbon? Gabe can have a piece of it. It's been a piece of the set since we've been here, right? It has. I like when that electrician got assaulted by it. He was like, what the fucking, the piece of Tupperware fell and everything else came down assaulted by it. He was like, what the fucking the piece of Tupperware fell and everything else came down

because of it. Because at that time it was balanced on like Tupperware, a box and like three knives. At least it's on the ground. I wish people could see how jank that was before. We just stacked

random dominoes together like Even though we could have just moved it and use the fucking tripod the entire time now for months for fucking months We're like now nice good But we got a good piece of content from that one fall it's just like we'll call it now Jesus Christ Batty's house if heat stroke doesn't kill you fucking brain trauma

from a prop falling on you wham wham that electrician starts having Afghanistan PTSD flashbacks. It's so hot, and I just got hit in the head. It's just getting...

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Truck month is on now. Ask your GMC dealer for details. That's over. That house, I'll never go that house i'll never go back i'll never go back there why would phil goldberg ever walk in there we had goldberg in here in my house yeah we had the domino with goldberg's walking in he's like what the fuck that's how that thing okay we got him in before you know it got to 110 degrees that is true oh because he would have loved this yeah this is he's already never gonna talk to us again though so yeah should have told him i shit my pants in an airport never meet your heroes that's the first story you tell your hero i shit myself you brought it up

like we weren't even talking about i think you brought it 100 i probably that sounds like you like oh is there a bus coming goldberg's driving there was that one brief lagging conversation it was like huh it was like so you shit yourself right right? I was like, I got to keep this conversation going. We got to keep the ball rolling, gentlemen. My face hurts from laughing so much today. I'm so hungover and I just can't handle it. Dude, I got sick again.

From eggs? Oh, yeah, that's right. No, from Key West. So, like, Heather and I have never been on a vacation by ourselves, not for work. And so we're like, you know what? One of my friends has a nice house in Key West. And so we're like you know what we're gonna one of my friends has a nice house in Key West and so we're gonna get this house for seven days it's gonna be awesome we're there for a day and like the night was awesome we party we eat a bunch of

fish and I think that's what did it so the next like five days we were just peeing out of our butts and vomiting everywhere and couldn't enjoy anything that was literally on just day two we were just like throwing up and shitting and it was it was pretty brutal oh yeah so that was my vacation that's why i wasn't here to drink a whole bottle of whiskey with you guys last week honestly i wish you were because it wouldn't have been so bad i was pooping peeing poop i was peeing poop poop and pee but you did oh man well at least your vacation sucked yeah right top it all off i missed the fucking tarkov wipe oh you did or the white though a pre-wipe event

yeah the pre-wipe event where they put every single boss on oh yeah they were it was so okay an escape for tarkov a wipe is where everything goes back to level one everybody gets reset it's like a season in video game or a ladder whatever your whole account just gets fucking back to level one yeah so like the eight nine months you've been playing everything goes back and it sounds awful but it's actually like the best thing in the world oh yeah but right before a wipe they usually do all these crazy little events like everything's basically free in the game You can just buy any gun everything's unlocked They'll do things like they'll put all the super difficult bosses the AI the scavs on one smaller map So anywhere you go you're just running into like the Terminator

And like Batman It's like Rambo Terminator. It's just like around each corner. And it was so much fucking fun. To be fair, though, they did ruin the very last event, which was kind of a bummer. They made it. They added this toxicity feature, I guess, feature because it's going to be coming later on. It's gonna be like a radioactive thing or a poison, basically.

So you spawn in. You immediately get poisoned. You have to find an antidote somewhere in a crate or one of the bosses. be like a radioactive thing or a poison basically so you spawn in you immediately get poisoned you have to find an antidote somewhere in a crate or one of the bosses within eight minutes oh shit or you just die you just fall over dead there's no slow bleed that you can heal through you just die so they added the chernobyl feature kind of but so they added airdrops like every six minutes or four minutes or some shit oh my my God. Are they marked? Dude, glowing red smoke.

Oh, so you're just pushing for the fight. You're sprinting for the airdrop or you're sprinting for one of the bosses. So you either have to fight tons of players at the airdrop or take your chances with the AI goon squad and try to find an antidote. You have to inject yourself with the antidote when you have like 30 seconds left on your timer because it shows your time or how long you have to live. And you still can't extract. You have to find a second one because that just delays it. The antidote doesn't cure you. It just delays your timer.

So you have six more minutes and you can't extract until like the 14th minute or some shit. So you're always rushing to get more and more. You need these things. See, that's fucking. I love where it was fun for a little bit, but after a while, you just couldn't play. After like two days, you're like, okay, I can't. I'm out of this.

Yeah. I'm losing shit at this point. I mean, you could lose shit. It was just like, you only had one play style. You had to spray. It made 90% of the guns in the game pointless. You're like, well, I guess I can't snipe. I guess I can't be tactical.

I can't move slow. I can't loot anymore. There's no point in looting, which is one thing I love in the game pointless you're like well i guess i can't snipe i guess i can't be tactical i can't move slow i can't loot anymore there's no point in looting which is one thing i love in the game even when the wipes happening i still like looting i've caught myself like the wipes happening in three hours and i'm sitting here looting a fucking bag i'm like why am i doing this why am i there is zero no purpose in what i am doing oh look i found a pack of cigarettes that i can't even sell because nothing's worth anything you could kill players and the bosses no point taking their gear yeah because you can't sell it for money because it's worth one dollar now oh my god i think about that well i love the idea of just the forcing players when they see a loadout drop it's

like call of duty where yeah it's like loadouts dropping they do it now one of my favorite things is they just warzone is loadout drops like within one minute of the match starting so it's like Call of Duty where it's like loadouts dropping. They do it now. One of my favorite things is they just, Warzone is loadout drops like within one minute of the match starting. So it's like one minute you're like grabbing quick shit and then immediately loadouts dropping and you're like, well, let's see how many loadouts are next to my loadout. It's like, it's mine. Great. Or it's like four loadouts like, and you're like,

there's four teams around this area and I don't know where they are. I need to get to my first fucking get my gear and go but i love that it forces everyone to run me so then the wife happened and they added a bunch of new shit and one of the cool like super cool things they added they added a flare gun you can call in airdrops like it adds a red flare you fire it up into the air it fucking comes out and then like 30 seconds later a plane like a literal c-130 comes flying overhead shooting flares and shit out of it dropping an airdrop to your position that's really cool if you could if you had told me four years ago when i was playing tarkov that i would be uh i would have an in-game

item either wearing my beard firing flare guns into the air, picking up airdrops full of attachments and crazy shit. Like, what the? Yeah, so Batty's beard is in the game now, by the way, everyone. He got his Tarkov item. He finally did. Speaking of bearding stuff, we'll go right into that. Well, I don't have yours.

But you also got a fucking beard you get to ruin my my beard thing No, we're gonna transition into it because now you'd be like speaking of beers. I don't know we should have done I should have done after we were talking about the beard. You didn't even have time to bask in I didn't he literally stole That's he took that well guys. We'll see you next episode of It's Eli doubleTat out. Alright, fuck that up. You didn't say your name right. Eli DoubleTat.

Eli DoubleTat. Eli DoubleTat. Can we just show that he says TISM. T-I-S-M. Can I just say that? Just the TISM. Fuck yeah, baddie. But yeah, no, they added a streamer item for me.

They added a bunch of new streamer items. This wipe, and one of them was my fucking beard. My beard is in a video game. It's called Baddie's Rez Beard, I think, or Baddie's Beard. Oh, I thought it was just Baddie. If you open it quickly and you crop it, yeah, you'll just see Baddie, but it's Baddie's Beard. That's fucking dope. I was like, proud of my boy.

I'm proud of my boy. That's awesome. And you haven't got it in game have you it took me uh the first day i streamed 19 hours straight of the wipe didn't find it everybody was tagging me in photos sending me pictures of me like baddie got your beard i'm like fuck off everyone's like i can just give you i'm like no i gotta find one first i found it the next day like eight hours into so it was like 27 hours 26 hours where i found my own goddamn beard jesus how do you just grinding are you just keeping it in your inventory now yeah where do you where do you find it at it can be on random scavs like they'll just be walk around there's just a ginger walking around on the map now it can be in weapon cases uh red bag like anywhere regular loot can spawn pretty much like it's the same thing as like the mustaches and all the other

different weird items in the game. It's such a weird concept and I think it's bulletproof Oh, yeah, wait what? I was with you on that match. Yeah Uh, I don't know if it was probably just a bug but it was or desync but it was super fucking funny I literally scoped in on a dude wearing my beard shot him in the fucking face. He's like And then he continued and killed all of us Yeah, I like I was yeah cuz I was playing with him. We were it was like me

Brandon yes, Brandon and reefer Brandon Kings and Reefer and you're like oh I see him and I heard a bang and you're like what the fuck he's wearing my beard it bounced off of his face dude came into my chapter he was like dude you shot me in the head I'm like I'm dead he was like what the

fuck he actually registered he got shot in the fucking head too his head did the ringing thing like I shot him in the fucking head and he was just fine the beard that's fucking dope though now you got that in-game item i just picture getting that though like actually it's like just a scalp baddie's beard yeah it's so gross when you think about it it's just like I am not wearing out beard back into the apocalypse Look what I found guys Stop wearing

Been four months mold on six lands stop doing that but the wipe has been good man it has been there's new movement like the way tarkov is like running and the way you move in the game now is it just feels smooth and it's the sounds the sounds are dude there's new sound they added new sounds like so like wood sounds different than metal things sound different now because there used to be like grass gravel and like wood and metal but they sounded they were all the same like bland and now there's like different levels to them it's real good it sounds as tarkov always had really good sound i always said what game was the when it works when it works i still think the best audio is fucked but they increased the the rain by like 30 percent too, though. Oh, God. Yeah. When it's raining, you can't hear a fucking thing.

God. Sneaking up on people. I bet. The rain in that game was always bad. It was like... Sounds like baking being fucking cooked. Yeah, bake it. Exactly.

Yeah, and you're just like... Hello? What did I do with my hands? Why is it so loud in here? Well, that's fucking dope. Oh, what was I going gonna say about that uh sound wise i always said pub g was shit game but the sound where you could hear like oh how people were moving yeah that's the only thing i wish parkov's getting there but it's not on that point

like pub g sandstorm probably has the best audio i have ever heard in a video game like the sounds from the guns to movement to explosions they do explosions better than i've ever heard a video game it is unbelievable shout out to the insurgency sandstorm dev team like those guys their audio is like their gunfire is gunfire the cracks like when a bullet goes by your head that crap you're like cool okay there it is it is insane that that game is good and tarkov's getting there it's it's a little weird with a gunfire occasionally but it's good they didn't beta yet tarkov been in beta it's been in beta it's been an open beta for four plus years now we were playing it in like 2018 yeah when it first came out 2017 it came out oh yeah yeah when it left yeah. It used to be a closed alpha,

then it went to the open beta in 2017. Because I played one match, and I accidentally spawned into a nighttime match. And I was like, this game fucking sucks. It's black. And then I didn't play it for another year. That game is brutal. When you don't know what the fuck you're getting into,

you're like, I'm going to play this game. What the fuck am I doing? Where's my gun? Yeah. Why don't know what the fuck you're getting into you're like i'm gonna play this game what the fuck am i doing you're just like gun yeah like why don't i have a weapon you just spawn in and he's like oh just get my character stuff in game i don't know it's like well to get the quest you have to go here and then look at this little thing like bro like my favorite thing to do is like actually stopping for a minute and like reading some of the quest dialogue because the only reason i know how to do all these half the quests in the game is because i've done them a hundred times now muscle memory and when it comes to the new ones i just go to the wiki real quick and look it up because when you sit

and like read the dialogue it's like how the fuck am i supposed to what it's like a lot of broken english in there hello comrade you need to Wooden Shack and find me key labeled blah. Go, and you're like, where? Where's the fucking shack? What's better than a well-marbled ribeye sizzling on the barbecue? A well-marbled ribeye sizzling on the barbecue that was carefully selected by an Instacart shopper and delivered to your door. A well-marbled ribeye you ordered without even leaving the kiddie pool. Whatever groceries your summer calls for, Instacart has you covered.

Download the Instacart app and enjoy $0 delivery fees on your first three orders. Service fees, exclusions, and terms apply. Instacart. Groceries that over-deliver. They'll be like, it's on customs. I'm like, there's fucking 800 shacks on customs. Good luck, my friend. Also need you to kill 12

Beloffs. One Beloff will drop shotgun. Please bring back. And you're like, okay. Well, then the quest items a lot of times are fucking hidden too, like in a little wedge. That train car. Fucking, what's the name of that one? Extortionist.

Not Postman Pat. There's a yeah, though you have to grab the little doc folder or whatever the little drive Yeah, that's behind in the train car in the box of the boxes wedged in the corner So you have to crap you used to actually even even worse Years ago you some to go prone crawl and wedge yourself into the corner and you might be able to click on it They finally moved it forward a little bit, so you can just crouch and lean and then grab it. Still barely see it. It's like the quest in Big Red, too,

where if you don't know what you're looking for, they're like, go in the office and find it, but it's under the desk on top of a file cabinet wedged back in there. That one I remember, because that one I was like, man, how would somebody find this shit where you're just like crouch. As you're saying, it's under the desk on a file thing, it's just like in the crack there's that much space isn't it like

a thumbnail or something or a thumb drive no it's like a hard drive yeah but it's something small and it's like yeah if you knew like well first off you got to find what big building it's got to find the key to that building yeah key to the bill and then you gotta find the office and then while you're in the office you have to like actually fucking actually even even worse you have to breach the office door that's what so half the doors in the game you can't open it'll let you breach them so you can try to kick them nothing happens though you can't you can't breach 90 of the doors in the game just make a lot of noise this one though you can breach you can't open it you have to breach it so you have to try to do the breach thing that doesn't work on any other door it's wild this is those weird it's like those old rpgs or just quest lines on

video games like old mmos where it's just like have fun bro good we gave you this much dialogue it's like four sentences and you're like, imagine in real life. I'm like, Cody, I need you to go to Bernie. There's a shed northeast. There's going to be a key in a building downtown. You have to go get both of those for me. And you're going to be like, and then I'd never tell you anything.

Can I just show you that exact dialogue? And you're like, what the, what the, the where Bernie that's a 15,000 people live there She's just like trying to find one fucking thing Quest lines. Yeah, there's another one where you have to find another key get into this fucking room and You have to pull a flash drive out of a PC But also there's a file that not finally There's a shelf with a bunch of folders on it and in between two of the folders is a different looking folder that you have to grab

I love you have to do the wiki to like it Thank God there were people that did hundreds of hours of this imagine or we could just look it up on the wiki Fucking whoa yo shout out to anybody who ever writes helpful shit out for wikis and stuff like you you're the real mvp bro that's i'm old and lazy now you think about like some of those i thankfully they're like 100 the items they're like eq was a in order to get this quest line you have to type in the specific dialogue to random mpc and then he'll give you the next place to go. But it's like, hey, you have to get this one item.

And then back in the day, there was no like, hey, here's a bunch of shit. Like one dude did it by figuring everything out. And it's like, oh, yeah, you need this one item that spawns on this creature that drops it once a week. And you're like, oh, and he only spawns once a day. You have to kill the placeholder every time you're just like this how's the dude figure that one little thing i was like oh there's the item to do this and now i have it all linked together and you're like holy fuck fuck that shit but that was the thing that was fun back then when you're when you're young when you got

time to do that shit man keyword right there yeah right like now i just don't have the patience i say that as i streamed 19 hours straight two days ago but i don't even have the patience to like level guns up and cod if there's like i can buy close to what i need i'm like dope it's 10 bucks there's my in-game purchase this gun's close enough to meta until i get it to meta good good pay to win baby all day every day oh the diablo the new diablo game do we talk about that already a little last week yeah how it's someone added it up again it's like 540 000 to get the top like a top tier character or some like that is that a mortal yeah yeah yeah because you can play it on i mean it's fun i've been playing it with john oh it's out already it's on mobile and pc yeah

i've already i've already spent like 100 bucks on it don't get into it yeah i can't say anything i do it yeah i mean it's not difficult whatsoever but i was like i want to kill everything with one hit i was like do do do 100 bucks yes yes because John was trying to level up so I was just like fucking destroying everything with 100 bucks but now I probably got to spend like another 200 bucks to you know do better and then it just goes up and up and up and up from there watching those streamers just to get like one thing like man I spent 15 grand one guy dude like stream $15,000 to get one item. And he just kept rolling. On his stream it was like, we're doing this until I get this item.

$15,000. This looks kind of cool. I mean, technically if you're a professional streamer, that's a business expense. It's an investment into your business. Dude, it would be so hard to justify. You could buy so many fucking guns or anything else.

Anything that's not going to. What sucks is like you spend that money and you know season one wipe. Like all that shit's irrelevant. Oh, yeah, that's true. Because they do seasons on there now. Are you going to play it? You can play it on PC, too. So you can even stream it.

Yeah. And you can start streaming anything but Tarkov for the next three months it doesn't matter Tarkov wipe what are you gonna try to get your Kappa like what's your goal I usually just go until I hit level I go hard till I hit level 40 because that's or 42 that's when you have all your

traders unlocked oh yeah I do I like doing like the the or all the early game quests are the best man I just I love this early wipe like people are using all the shit guns shit ammo. Oh It's fun. What were you running around shoreline doing the other day? I saw you said we're just zigzagging. Oh man, so what I Cuz the the progression of early game It's like first you basically have to go to customs you do all your customs quests or do a ton of customs quest then you have To go to woods and I got some wood stuff to unlock the rest of the custom stuff and then from there you

slowly start unlocking individual shoreline quests but you can do like eight shoreline quests at once when you finally unlock them all so i'll i try to build up as many shoreline quests i can and then knock out all of them at once which is terrifying to do because you have like 30 markers on you jammers you have to carry in a sniper rifle and shit to to place do because you have like 30 markers on you jammers you have to carry in a sniper rifle and shit to to place and then you have to go to this spot you go to that spot and you have to place all this shit so i was zigzagging from one side of the map to the other oh the marker one there's a ton of them now there's like 10 different marker quests and i just tried to do as many as i could in one run. And as I marked my last ambulance right in extract,

I was like, all right, it's got to wait 20 seconds for the marker to count down. It was like five seconds. I got shot in the back. I forgot. I was sitting in a bush waiting with his giant purple backpack. I had just found.

So I was no longer camouflaged in this bush. I'm like, oh shit. So I had no stamina because I got shot. So I'm like, just zigzagging slowly the 20 feet to where the actual extract is that this guy's just peppering me

in the back with the shittiest ammo in the game, thank god I was like, if I die right now, I just failed like 8 quests oh god, and I was like I was doing the IRL moving thing at my desk, like trying to dodge the bullets like, because I'm an idiot and I didn't realize I was doing the IRL moving thing at my desk, like trying to dodge the bullets, because I'm an idiot and I didn't realize I was doing it.

Oh. I do that too when I'm trying to look over stuff in the game. I'll be like... You're looking over a fence and physically doing this. Yeah, I'll be like... Looking to the right, he goes... It doesn't work like that. Why is my brain doing this to me?

Stop it, brain. You're dumb. Bad fucking game. I need to get back into it. I say I will, and then I won't. I know. I know. I had Brandon overplaying the other day.

It was me, you, Brandon, Kings. We were having a good fucking time, too. I can play now. I'm way better at first person shooters thanks to all the Call of Duty. You were good at shooting back then. You just didn't know how to play the fucking game. Well, now I'm way better at shooting close quarter far Warzone got me real good at that

All find a bunch of red beards and we can be the red beer game. Uh-huh It's not my mustache though, it's a cautious mustache Pretty great. She doesn't even play the game There's an in-game item from a streamer sequitur cool guy i've been following him for years now but it's the mustache it's a big bushy mustache i love sequitur he's a good dude yeah he is he's a really good dude he's funny as fuck too man he's a really good streamer it's like sequitur you wouldn't think it was like like a little like an italian white guy no because he named it after his world of warcraft character that was a black um

human i didn't know that a female uh it was a black female uh warlock or something named sequitur that's why he had that name he's like yeah i just kept that name and yeah i just swear to god that's so wild okay okay i was like why do you have name? Why do you have a black female's name? He was like, oh, this. I was like, okay, there we go. I was like, it makes way more sense right now. We were talking about, like, someone asked me what my in-game item would be,

and I think it would be, like, a plush doll of Squirt. They just added a teddy bear for ammunition. That was her streamer item. I don't know who that person ammunition for real It's like one of the biggest you know streamers like on the platform like ever she was on like CBS Really no and fucking cool. She's good people. I don't know any streamers. I don't I still rarely watch Twitch rolled off in though. Yeah, that's true, too. You guys like know youtubers and shit I would I'd be like, okay. I don't know who the fuck you're talking about i know streamer things that's it

that's my bubble yeah we had was it minecraft uh youtuber died you just died yeah um technoblade technoblade just died his last video was fucking he just had that dad write what he said he's like hey it's like a positive message he's like hey blah blah blah and then the dad gave his little uh talk afterwards and i was like oh shit i didn't realize how big he was and then that video yeah he had like 10 mil i've never even heard of him but john told me about it yeah he was like 10 mil past that video in 18 hours of that final video going up had 27 million views and yeah i was like god dang and the dad like everything he was just like hey keep being positive keep like if you if

if you're hearing this i'm dead that's how the message starts and then he goes into oh yeah he's like damn yeah like it's fucking like boom but he's like hey be positive i think everyone for everything they've done boom boom positive message and the dad's the one reading it and you're like oh god oh my heart i'm definitely gonna listen to that yeah oh my heart oh it doesn't feel good yeah john was saying he's like he was like the best pvp minecrafter in the world or something like that i don't know i've never even heard of him it's weird how people have these millions and millions of followers and you're never gonna hear when you think about like how siloed the different communities on the in content creation really is like i don't know fuck all about minecraft youtubers or minecraft twitch streamers for that

matter and they're massive unbelievably large following gigantic and you're like how the fuck did i not know you existed then you think about how many creators there really are it's like yeah i'm just some tarkov fucking streamer to somebody they're like yeah they have no idea who the i am but i go to a gun event and people are like oh you're the guy that hangs out with donna and demo and like how the but everything's siloed it's weird yeah dude when i go to social blade so i'm at like 3.5 million on my main channel when i look my main channel up on social blade it's still above like 1300 on the ranking of how many subscribers you have so there's there's meet tim's new oreo mocha ice caps with oreo in every sip

perfect for listening to the a side or b side or bull side order yours on the tim's app today at participating restaurants in canada for a limited time. Over 1,000 people that, you know, over like 1,300 people that have more subscribers than me that I've never even fucking heard of. Yeah. That's insane. 1,300. That's a lot of people who are like,

like, what the fuck? I was watching what PewDiePie stuff randomly started popping up on my stuff. I started watching his shit again. Just, he's like, I'm in Japan. And it's just moved to Japan,

right? Yeah. He moved, moved to Japan. Oh really? Yeah. That's like, I think Tesla gave him a free Tesla or a company gave him a free car course.

Cause it's fucking beautiful. No, but yeah, all he's doing, he lives in Japan. The more you like make it in the content creation world, the less you need money, the more free shit you get. Oh, you have money now.

Here's free shit. And you're like. Whatever. OK, so buy more dragons with my money that I don't have to spend for this shit. This is dope. I'll buy guns or whatever. Living the dream that you got a new uh you got beard cream and see now's a great time to talk about this hell yeah so not only did i get my beard

in tarkov but i fluck put the image up here i'm out of regs right here just floats png out of regs has made a uh baddie beard cream and beard oil. Yeah. And it fucking hits ginger and coconut. That's why I love best. It was ginger. I haven't smelled it yet. It's a nut joke.

My nuts in it. He's proud of that one. He's not in your beard. Use the code. Come 20. Come 20. Baddie. 20.

Baddie. 25. I think they changed changed the two i don't know there's a lot of codes dude i don't know which ones do it just try them all there's like baddie come 20 baddie 25 maybe baddie 20 maybe i don't know which one's there try them all merry christmas yeah we treat our discount codes as video games so you can put this sweet awesome citrusy smooth operator in your hair. You can put some donut operator mustache oil

in your mustache and then some batty beard cream in your beard. Adventurer, find your own discount code. Type in the magical password and you might save money on your next purchase. it's a quest it's just because we can't remember what our discount codes are yeah or just use come 20 that was a hundred percent but it's 20%. I don't know. Who knows? We don't know what it's going to say. The 20 doesn't, it's pointless.

Good luck, adventurer. Oh, God. Fuck, man. Kajita's cream if you have code. Huh? What's the code? Kajita's cream. And before it got put on the website, Eli texted me.

He's like, hey, man, can you give me like like a little Blur we can put something funny to write about it I'm like alright Smells like booze and Disappointment Or this this I just started listing them I'm like goth girl Approved I think that's the one we put on the website And on his can it says goth girl

Approved on the website it says goth girl Approved That Smells like your mom's girl approved on the website it says got girl there was what was the other good um that that smells like your mom's basement um i think i did oh this was my favorites long those you know that point like you go out on friday night in that point where you're having a great friday night but then it suddenly becomes a bad friday night it's that that singular point in time that's what it smells like when things go from great to oh

Like I'm too drunk But the can turn out fucking good in the comments below if you've made it 55 minutes into the podcast Write a little blurb what you think the baddie beard oil smells like thank you. Yeah We get some good ones in there it comes out. It was a was a pre-sell so it'll start shipping the 15th or something yeah they'll start shipping you can pre-order it now and uh uh you can actually get it on the 15th or so it'll be out it'll yeah right now you're saving 25 instead of the standard 20 because it is a pre-order the 20 does mean something yeah unless you use the wrong one and you failed the quest. Who knows what it does?

You failed the quest. Adventure. Of course, to say funny, you failed. Try it next time. Dude, I'm having a pretty good year, man. It's been a pretty good year. Podcast is doing fucking great for all of us. Doing good.

We're only 25K away from getting our play button. Yeah, we just hit 75,000. Oh, we hit 75. We're fucking three quarters of a million. That's, we just hit 75,000. We're fucking three quarters of a million. That's doing good. I got a beard. I'm a character in a game. I got a beard item.

I got fucking beard oil, which that was one of my goals when I started. I have a cool beard. One day I want a beard oil with my name on it. Put your money in the Deadpool now. It's all going positive. That means it's going to do a hard right turn.

She's dropping a batty flavor later this year. I'm having a good year. I'm absolutely going to fucking die by the end of the year. 100%. Now I'm thinking of all this. They're trying to be like, doing good, champ. Life's awesome, right?

Life's awesome, right's awesome right you did good oh man no you're doing good you're gonna keep doing good I'm gonna not shit on you oh fuck what's gonna happen later this year this could be a bad one and I'm sorry I ran over your cat in the driveway

It starts the downhill It comes in threes And I was like no no no no I don't like this very much You're paying permanently off Twitch Oh god My livelihood gone What would you do then?

Hey guys guess we gotta start that second YouTube channel right? What do you do then? Daddy why are you uploading seven podcasts a week? We're only doing one Hey guys, welcome to the baddies episode I just need to run up the ad revenue Hey You're like Betty. No, we're not doing a podcast. We did seven Create your own channel. I'm not going to do Would you do it's which one away? I probably I don't know I Now we're putting fear in What. I'm thinking about it too.

I'm like, what if YouTube went away? Fuck, that would suck. Do you need an assistant? I'm pretty good with a camera. I mean, we've talked about that before. At least we have a lot of friends. I would be working for Black Rifle really, really quick. I can make a decent coffee.

So they're opening stores all over that's what you're shooting for it's like not be part of the media team or anything batty wanted to be a barista this was his choice he said we said send a resume and he's like i made good coffee go find him in Bernie Imagine somebody comes in like aren't you bad I'm like it was now. I'm just Kyle Working the guys don't call me baddie anymore. I got banned. Working in Monachima and fucking Black Rifle. Holding down two jobs to pay the bills.

Hey, Mr. Mason, can I clean some guns today? Oh, gee golly. Hey, Batty, we're going to go get lunch. I got work, guys. Those guns don't clean themselves. At least he's happy. Okay, kind of related. When was the last time you cleaned a firearm one of your own firearms when was the last time you cleaned one oh actually my bedside gun i i

try to keep that thing lubed that's okay any of the other guns that you shoot fucking nah nah i just throw the brand when was the last time you cleaned your brand the uwu gun oh the uwu gun hasn't been fired since it got Cerakoted. We literally, didn't we shoot it? Oh, you didn't have a mag or didn't have ammo? Yeah, I didn't have ammo. Or both. I had the mag.

I didn't have ammo. Yeah. So it didn't get fired. You still haven't shot that? It got shot a lot with the pig hunting, but then I had to take it Cerakoted. So they strip cleaned it. And I was like, dope. I don't have to clean this. That's why I just Cer it and i was like dope i don't have to clean this that's why i just cerakote my gun so i don't have to clean them

way easier that way i don't think that's how that works you still should clean them i haven't cleaned a gun since i was a cop in 2016 i don't have nearly as many guns as you guys but i've got we've got a couple dozen Fuckin forever You don't you have a clean shit Actually like clean clean the gun Was when I bought the SKS obviously it was covered in cosmoline, so I had to clean that one Otherwise my bolt gun my sniper sniper rifle i do take pretty

good care of but that's it i just it's a time money thing i would rather just take it down to mason's or someone else's place and spend 50 bucks and be like here make this shine i'm gonna i need i'm doing a stress test on all my fire stress test i want to hit 10 000 rounds before i clean it that wasn't my water you do that all the time most of the time it's vodka though with you you're always the guy that grabs like a cup and it's like water it's just vodka i've watched you do it like three times okay again in my defense when we go to eggs they, they literally give us cups of vodka. It looks like a cup of water.

Because you never get ice in your water. No. And I have started doing that now because you've made me a weirdo. I don't know. But I'd be like, well, there's my water. It's a cup of fucking vodka. And I was like, vomit immediately. Dude, I haven't been there in a month.

We stopped going there because I got food poisoning. You got food poisoning. Didn't Brandon at some point get food poisoning? Yeah, yeah. Right the same week right after me. So I shit myself, Brandon shit himself. And then we were just like, no, it's not worth it. You know what's kind of wild?

I have gotten food poisoning so much since I moved to Texas. Dude, Heather got. So we were sick during our key west vacation we got back and we're starting to feel a little better than the other night like the i love it the day the day after we got back we're starting to feel good heather orders taco bell and the guy's like up north at the rim and coming to my house gets there in like an hour later and i'm like i'm not i don't want to eat any of this talk about bad after 15 minutes And she eats it and she fucking gets food poisoning again for like two days

Like it's been wrong on the bro. I don't know what is she looks great though She's dropped I look the most ripped when I do that after a good I'm so dehydrated I have no nutrients in my body this is crazy god damn it dude I'm sickly this is dope as shit oof i know

no we got fucking oh there was all the uh you guys haven't caught up on stranger things you haven't caught up on oh my god all the obi-wan obi-wan's boring as fuck dude the first two episodes i was i agree with the first two episodes are fucking slow they're kitty the first two episodes I agree with the first two episodes are fucking slow. They're kiddy. The first two episodes are kiddy. Have you watched three, four, five? I'm on four right now and it's still like even in four, the little spy chick with the two stormtroopers are carrying her off

and she's like, oh. And they fall down and she takes their blasters. Dude, the chasing, when they're chasing it's been memed a whole bunch. Spoilers, guys. No, no, no. This is not a spoiler. I don't think it's what we're talking about. Spoilers.

We're going to say some things. It's probably not going to be a big spoiler, but just in case, don't cancel us. It's not much. It's a fucking small one. You can be like, oh, stop. It's when little Princess Leia, and it's the bad guys chasing. Oh, my God. Dude, if you watch it, it's so good.

That was the stupidest fucking. And the adults are like, they're running wide-legged. Because they can't get in. Yeah, they're like, how do we catch this little girl? And she's like, and they're like, when you watch it, you see them like,

they're walking with their knees out like, I was dying. I was like, this is the dumbest scene. You could have wrote this song. This girl runs under a bush. This guy runs into the tree. He out like, hi. I was dying. I was like, this is the dumbest scene. You could have wrote this song. This girl runs under a bush. This guy runs into the trees like, oh, it's a tree. I've never seen one of these before. Dude, it was like, she would literally go and they're like, we gotta go around the mountain now.

She crawls under a log and he's like, I'm defeated. And it's literally a log that you could just step over. It's the shittiest chase scene I have ever seen. I just want to hear some Oompa Loompa music while that's going on. I want to watch that now. Oh my God. You can, it's so bad. I was like, what the, but why is he running that way?

What the fuck is going on? There are some. Sometimes Star Wars can be real fucking silly. Yeah. Like real fucking silly. Cause you're like, oh, it's going this way. And then it's like that stormtrooper that falls on the laser and gets hacked in half. And I was like,

okay, that was gangster. That was pretty cool. And then it goes darker. I was like, okay, last few episodes, it went way better. I was like, okay, I'm fine with this now. This is in the right direction. I'll skip everything. Watch the last episode. The last two are fucking gangster. I haven't seen the last one yet, but the second last. I'll skip everything. Watch the last episode. Last two. The last two are fucking gangster.

I haven't seen the last one yet, but the second last one was fucking. Dude, that Stranger Things is good. I haven't seen the last episode just came out a couple days ago. I cannot fucking wait to watch them. I'm a Stranger Things whore, but I'm a four hours. Yeah. Four hours for two episodes. Yeah.

Hour and 30 minutes for episode eight or or nine the last two yeah the first and then two and a half hours for the last episode it's a movie the last episode was a fucking movie that's really cool i did that oh it's so good the music and i always forget how much i love synth 80s until i hear the synth 80s music from stranger saying i was like this is literally i'm so hyped because like i'm such a fangirl of vekna he's like my favorite villain in dnd lore and they just they brought him back into stranger things what really what's a vechna vechna is the name of so vechna is the god of secrets and liches and like some of the undead in like og dnd lore uh it's an anagram for the name vance i can't remember the guy's actual name but his name was was Vance. That's your neck, right? Yeah, my neck tattoo is the hand and eye of Vecna.

But this guy was one of Gary Gygax's friends or one of the original writers. One of the guys that helped make D&D back then. So they made him a god of evil and shit. And now Vecna's in Stranger Things. It's such a cool little connection. How Stranger Things is helping bring D&D back even more oh yeah dude so they're doing a whole new like vechna series like on like for fifth edition dnd right now because of it all dude it's crazy watching how because that show was pitched many times before netflix was the only one that was like yeah we'll run it because everyone

else was like that's a stupid fucking idea i don't i don't know anything about it heather and i heather and i are gonna start it over i was just talking to her about that today when you guys were talking about it at lunch it's super good it is it's i just love the feel for it because it is that i like indiana i live there a majority too so it is literally 80s 90s indiana when i see that town when i see this i'm like just fucking indiana like to a fucking t i can fill all of this and then it's back in my old ass time so i'm like oh man this is fucking dope to watch all this shit now they're fucking adults i went back and watched a little snippet of episode one i was like oh my god they are little fucking kids like little children and

now they're full grown like 18 and 19 years old playing 15 year old and it's like that doesn't feel like it's a big difference bro it's a big difference when you go back and watch you're like holy shit because they're doing a season every two years yeah so the next one will probably be 2024 for the conclusion which i'm like oh so don't die baddie make it wait or just hold off until you watch everything everything everywhere all at once

that one you both need to watch everyone needs to fucking watch that movie everything everywhere all at once it just got released on your services to stream but it was in theaters a month ago it's gonna win a fuck of awards and i it was like it feels like a very family style movie and i was like oh this is rated

r's but super rated r it is um how do i describe it without spoiling it is a asian lady it's like an asian family the dude uh the kid from the goonies is in it the asian kid from the goonies oh yeah i've seen the goonies once when i was like and dr jones like and uh indiana jones like same kid oh short short round yeah yeah so he's in that one or he's in this and it is like 50 yeah and it's his first roll back since like when he was a kid so this is his big roll back and it's crazy watching him he you instantly was like holy fuck that's that dude i'm like what sav was like what are you talking about i was like no that's him looked at i was like okay i know that voice anywhere hasn't changed his exact same voice but oh my god they have it's like the lady from um

i want to say hidden dragon was it crouching tiger hidden dragon it turns into like a martial arts flick slash kung fu slash comedy super dark violent it. It is. It's everything, everywhere, all at once. Yes, literally that. And it is one of the funniest fun movies I have ever seen, period. That went at the top of my list once I watched it. I was like,

this is fucking dope. Okay. I've been streaming so much lately. I've been having too much fun gaming. See, you do that Gaming Just try that movie both of y'all try that movie And then we were supposed to watch Bloody Hell

This is like a movie talk I love movies Bloody Hell you remember when I went to your house And we were like scrolling through movies I was like oh yeah we got this one And so we chose the horror movie Was it Green Hill or Bloody Hell Bloody Hell We were looking at it we just watched a trailer for it and that was it

also really fun fucking movie because it is it was like a man gets kidnapped by a crazy family when he tries to go to a new country to experience life oh yay and so he's like wakes up just tortured like fucking legs gone like this is right and yeah he's just like up just tortured, like fucking legs gone. Like this is right. And yeah, he's just like, what the fuck? He has a split personality. So he's also crazy. So he has a split personality. Yeah.

So he always talks to his split personality, like back and forth. And so anything bad happens to him, he relies on a split personality to take over to consume the anger pain whatever so like he's like he looks down he's like no no no no no he's like and the split personality outcomes like shut the fuck up you do not scream i'll scream for you he's like he starts screaming because his life's gone and it cuts to the wide and he's just like just sitting there like quiet and the little kid comes in and it's like he's like buddy buddy buddy buddy buddy please please come here help me help me i need your help i need you to come closer i won't hurt you i won't hurt you it cuts to a split personality standing by the kid he's

like i'm going to fucking kill you please come closer oh i'm gonna fuck oh you're fucked kid you are fucked and it cuts to the wine he's's just like, yeah, buddy, come closer. So it is such a good, like comedy. It's a dark comedy. It's a black comedy, but fuck the beats are so good. And it just goes, you do not see anything coming.

That was the first movie. I was like, Oh, what the fuck just came? Wow. Okay. Like looking at that, I was like,

Holy shit. So two movies, two fucking stellar goddamn movies if you've never seen them yep okay everything good good good buddy break oh I gotta do this

the whole time fuck thank you for watching the unsubscribe podcast as always we have Eli Dolzap Donut Operator and hi I am Batty Streams. Goodbye. Yeah, we drank that whole bottle. That was good.

With that. Dude, we drank the entire. It was a brand new bottle. Dude, Batty went Asian. Oh, no. Batty was just like this. I was like, oh, Batty's like drunk. You can watch her decline too

if you just skip through the podcast. You're like, what, what, what? Like do four segments. You just be like. We start out talking and I'm like, my face is on the mic. I was like, oh, this is going to end well for everything.