Unsubscribe Podcast - 62 - Not Safe For Work ft. Brandon Herrera

Episode Date: July 14, 2022

Unsubscribe Ep62 - Not Safe For Work Ft. Brandon Herrera Dont watch this at work. our around people you love. or around anyone for that matter. PLZ YOUTUBE GODS dont strike this episode down, we love you!! GO CHECK OUT AK DADDY BRANDON!! @Brandon Herrera https://www.youtube.com/c/BrandonHerrera OUR MERCH: https://www.bunkerbranding.com/pages/unsubscribe-podcast WE HAVE A SUBREDDIT??? https://www.reddit.com/r/UNSUBSCRIBEpodcast/ CHECK OUT https://outofregz.com/ CODE: UNSUB http://gfuel.com/discount/baddie CODE: BADDIE ------------------------------ WHERE TO LISTEN Spotify https://spoti.fi/2Ye8YOU Apple Podcasts https://apple.co/3cbqY4k Amazon https://amzn.to/2YbzQia Google Play https://bit.ly/2YcWmaD Stitcher https://bit.ly/3cbnY8o ------------------------------ Follow the Cast of Unsubscribe -Baddie- @Baddie Streams https://www.twitch.tv/baddie https://twitter.com/BaddieStreams https://www.instagram.com/baddiestreams/ https://www.youtube.com/baddiestreams -DonutOperator- @Donut Operator @Operation Donut https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwkm_Wcyh0pc7UUmZZfL-6w https://www.instagram.com/donutoperator/ https://www.twitch.tv/DonutOperator https://twitter.com/DonutOperator -Eli_Doubletap- @Eli Doubletap https://www.instagram.com/eli_doubletap/ https://www.twitch.tv/Eli_Doubletap https://twitter.com/Eli_Doubletap https://www.youtube.com/c/EliDoubletap ------------------------------ Edited by Fluck https://www.twitch.tv/fluck Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Is the sound, Betty, is all the sounds working? Is there levels on everything? Alright, say something. Something. Say something. Something. Say something. Hi everyone. What? Never change, Cody. Say hi to Eli.

It's racially ambiguous. That guy's fucking ridiculous. That's harder to rhyme, but he's a really nice guy. Welcome to unsubscribe. Hey, guys. Thanks for watching. Subscribe podcast. Make sure wherever you're listening or watching, whether it's on YouTube, Castro, Spotify, Apple, Google, Amazon, Podbean, Stitcher, or that's all of them.

Please leave a comment, like it, thumbs up it, give it a rating of five stars, whatever you do. It helps the podcast out immensely. And Donut and Eli will be very happy if you do that. And we want to make Don Donate Eli happy today. Five stars on everything and a comment if there is possible because we need to be at the top. Donut, say something motivating.

That's where the... Come subscribe. I don't fucking like this. Don't like this thing. I was asking if it was going to trigger you. Do you want wanna swap? Do you wanna... No, you're good.

This is weird. Wait, if he's closer... What the fuck? We didn't... I wasn't... Shit. Why am I the leader on that? I just randomly, stupidly pop and everyone's like...

I see why his mic is quieter now. Were you deaf out of the other ear? You sit here all the time. Yeah, maybe I am. Maybe I am more deaf out of this ear. It's your off ear. So if you're right-handed, you're shooting right, your left ear is going to be real angry.

Oh, that's why. Okay, that makes sense. We're learning so much right now. Are you going to be meaner to Batty because you're closer to him today? I don't know how it works. You're now within striking distance. be meaner to batty because you're closer to him today or i don't know how it works hi everyone unsubscribed podcast here i'm joined today by batty streams eli double fap and the always beautiful brandon herrera with a mustache Hi, everyone. Unsubscribe podcast here. I'm joined today by Batty Streams, Eli DoubleFap, and the always beautiful Brandon Herrera with a mustache.

Yeah, that part's not great. I mean, it looks pretty good. It's pretty great. Yes, ma'am, I have seen the new Top Gun. Why do you ask? I loved you in Narcos. Oh, yeah. I said I need to recreate that before this goes away.

Just the swing set. In the bottom of the hole. Why do you have a mustache now? Because I lost a bet that I forgot I made with you. About like two years ago. Yeah. Where I said that if you ever had longer hair than me, then I would shave down to a mustache.

And we were reminded on Twitter recently. Thank you, fuckhead. You know, you know who never forgets? The internet. Here we go. That's why half of you guys are going to have your mom's OnlyFans accounts to be made fun of for in high school.

So, yeah, that's, that's, that's, that's pretty true. I don't think about that can we say that word? OnlyFans?

yeah why not? Fluck put up some fans just blowing up on the screen you can say come as a catch phrase but not OnlyFans this is a Christian mind carash server we have lines Brandon can't wait until this one gets age restricted I don't know the last one we were talking about

enslaving children in California is still green. Why are we doing this in the first minute of the podcast right now? Let's like push it like an hour in when people aren't listening. Let's get drunk first, guys. We prefer prisoners with jobs around here. Oh, there's that

word again. They're just little prisoners. Ah, we told you about the S-word. Just little indentured servitude. Little but small ones. Today we're learning potatoes. Guys, what are you hiding? Eli. I forgot the spoon.

Today we're learning a new word, carrot. How many carrots can you collect, children? Oh, God. Yeah, this is last week's. That's the indentured servitude. It looks like a school, but the kids walk in, and they're like, we're learning carrots today. And they're just picking carrots.

They're going to learn about carrots. They're going to learn to fucking hate carrots. Okay. Jesus, man. Oh, man. Yeah, so earlier I tried to be nice to Bat carrots. Okay. Jesus, man. Oh, man. Yeah, so earlier I tried to be nice to Batty. Yep. Well, not really.

I did give you a kiss on the cheek. He did. Gave him a big old smooch. That's not nice, though. That's just weird. I was like, Batty. When you hug me and kiss me on the cheek at brunch, that's just fucking weird. I want to chat if that's weird, too, if that's just homies.

I think that's homie stuff. Homosexuals. Have you guys seen that picture of Anakin Skywalker yet? Where it's like when, you know, kissing the homies goodnight isn't enough anymore. And he's like, I want more. And I know i shouldn't i know his cadence during that speech too to pat him it's not fair it's not fair george lucas is like yes no your delivery is fantastic you're all professional actors but can you say that line again like you're fucking retarded he's whining

a little bit more it's not fair i don't like it god i forgot about that scene all together still love those movies don't care that's fantastic i absolutely love them i do i was 11 or some shit when the phantom menace came out favorite star wars don't care it's just like the 80s nostalgia shit is coming back around where it's like it's shitty and that's what makes it good like certain line delivery it's like oh well i'm endeared to that that's it's like literally no matter how they could have made the movie even worse it could have been fucking puppets the whole time i don't give a shit and there were literally puppets in that movie i know but i meant like everybody like anakin skywalker is a fucking muppet i don't care until the duel of fates kicks

in and i'm like i don't care i the duel of fates kicks in and i'm like i don't care i have a boner like that that scene put me through puberty that was it darth maul that second lightsaber kicked out i won't ever argue everyone says it's like that could be the worst star wars in history it came with darth maul duel of the fate it's like you had those things you're like unfortunately i had to wait two hours to get to that moment. Greatest moment to me. Still in like Star Wars. Fight through Jar Jar Binks to get to the

to the best music ever! You're like, yes, Qui-Gon's dead. I think you mean Darth Binks. Spoiler alert, Jesus. Oh, I'm sorry, guys. Cancel that out. But yeah, I tried to give you nice something or other buddy homie hugs homie

sexual sexual kisses and then immediately God was like no you can't do that Eli and I Knocked over my man Mosa into his food my food or on the table You just dumped it all over my $6,000 camera like God was reminding you of Leviticus. Thou shalt not be homosexual. Dude, I can't wait to hear something Christian today. You sound like you're about to lie with another man as if a woman he lied. I turned to salt. Just a flash wave.

Dude, Old Testament God fucked. Yeah, yeah he did. He got a little like, he got pussified toward the sequel. Just a flash away dude Old Testament God fucked yeah He got pussified toward the sequel We haven't done that in like 30 episodes spent a little bit a super superhero G Yeah, we really did was when we said like Jesus was the worst superhero Throwing a building in Jesus like His weakness a whip Weird it's like, that crown's got thorns. Oh God. Weird, it's like the New Testament had like a different author or some shit.

The King James Bible? That's weird. Mom, don't listen to this one. I just picture Tony Stark, it's like, and Jesus is like, and like, there's that facade. He's like, lowering the crown on. Oh man. Oh

No, it's just the last piece is everything like he suits up His robe gently and Okay Torgo! Torgo! I'm ready! Move the camera! Oh no. That's the one thing. I have so many lines. Pissing off the Christians? I'm good. That's the line you can't cry. I don't care. I was, I was, grew up in Catholic school and shit. Let's go.

Game on. Hi everyone. Welcome to unsubscribed. Just in case we need to cut this entire beginning part He's like Spider-Man with a web but he's like Oh that's the one from the old video Bread fish, bread fish Oh that's it so I can't make fun of the Christians

I'm making fun of the Christians too It's like the Vecna eye thing except it's just his eye through the hole Vecna's wrist. We're just going real hard today, everyone. This was like an unnormally spicy beginning. I know. Was it? We usually drink two or three before we start talking about enslavement and pissing off religions.

What is that? Spider-Man. I mean, who'd be chill? Spider-Man's just throwing fish out when he fucking... It's like fish and bread. Just being hit with fish and bread and wine.

He puts them together for wine. Y'all... Just in your mouth. It's like, hey, Jesus, why don't you just stay back at the Avengers lair today and prepare the meal?

Just make some food. I don't know. I mean, if you really want to go hard into Jesus, can you think of a more useless profession than a carpenter in the desert?

Holy fuck! Something must have been lost in translation there, because yeah. I'm glad Carriker isn't here for this one. That is never going to happen. God damn it.

We were just talking about having Demo on here again. Now he's not going to come back. Instead, you got me. Let's just skip this episode. FanDuel Casino's exclusive live dealer studio has your chance at the number one feeling, winning, which beats even the 27th best feeling, saying I do. Who wants this last parachute? I do. Enjoy the number one feeling,

winning, in an exciting Live Dealer Studio, exclusively on FanDuel Casino, where winning is undefeated. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca Please play responsibly. Oh no. This is what happens when we don't write a script beforehand. I mean, we were talking about rough ideas beforehand and then we were like

nah, fuck that script. Oh, do you guys have any topics? No. No, the boys. That wrapped. Same. Alright, you guys go. You guys have any topics? No. No. That's awesome. The boys. That wrapped. I didn't see the end. I know.

Same. That's what I was like. Alright, you guys go. Me and Badu go in the other room. Fuck real quick. We'll talk about that. Homosexuals. Homosexuals.

Is that the next shirt? Just homosexual. No way, Bunker Pro. They absolutely will. They printed a cum shirt. They wouldn't let us do the cumalicious shirt. We are interacting their branding. That one I get.

We can try homosexual. Homosexual would work. Oh, can I shout out something real quick? They're letting me print my dead cartel monkey shirt. Hell yeah. So go to ripcartelmonkey.com. I've never heard of any of this. No. You don't know about the cartel monkey shirt hell yeah so go to rip cartel monkey.com i've never heard of you no there's there was a about the cartel oh yes yes yes yeah i don't know the story behind it can we go into that though what is it oh shit it was little it's like little trouble or something

like that wasn't it there was a monkey named little trouble that's the cartel the cartels had it in it have you seen this yet and You showed me a picture of a dead monkey, what I'm assuming now. He had the vest on. Yeah, yeah. This little monkey with the cart. Yeah, El Changuito. Yeah, the monkey with the vest. And they killed the monkey with the vest?

Well, it was in a gang shootout, right? No, it was police. The federale. It's one year. So like... Eli immediately zooms in on the dead monkey photo and laughs hysterically. It's funny, I'm like, what? ollie it's one year so like Eli immediately zooms in on the

dead monkey photo and laughs hysterically it's funny as shit dude like rip cartel monkey dot com it doesn't

but uh no guys you are we are way too fucking close to the border to be laughing like this

with the the cartel dudes do is you know they love buying exotic animals and the little spider monkeys are super expensive and he put a little plate carrier on it a little camo hoodie and the federales ambushed this gang that was being like super extra violent which is weird by you know terms down there and uh standards and police killed everyone but they ended up hitting the monkey in the crossfire and it was still like latched onto his owner's back oh the monkey was on its owner's back yeah i want to see him like a little 22 derringer just like

i'm so confused right do you think he used one of the premier body armor like coaster the cans man today is a good episode we need to get premier body armor to do a special run of small animal plate carriers they already did dog ones didn't they um they no they haven't done the dogs dogs are way more useful than they are cool though

like monkey cartel monkey is like my velociraptor yes that's terrifying that doesn't need body armor Like what she for a reason Like so you want to make it harder to kill that thing? Oh my god There was well you need to tell your story, but did you guys see the story of the what's the big monitors? What are the huge fucking lizard? Yeah, or monitor lizards like those are two different ones with the nasty teeth.

Yeah, like, there's a family. I'm guessing Thailand or somewhere. They're, like, just chilling. It's a pretty good guess. Those don't exactly run around Europe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was just so not New England. It was, like, a seven-year-old girl, a teenager boy, and then a baby on the ground.

And they're just, like, chilling in the store. And the webcam. No. Web the ground and they're just like chilling in the store and the web would have baby no Webcam and they're just chilling and then you just see a fucking like Komodo like come running in and like Joe They get up and fucking dip into the other room and it chases them They leave the baby like bitch baby the baby's like no told you and then Komodo chases them Then they run the are you singing like three seconds later? And the baby's just like yo what's up dogs Runs right by the baby again chasing them out the fucking front door. You look what the fuck just happened

So I got the baby. I was like oh that poor baby, so they got it right in Jurassic Park. It's It's baits eyesight's based on movement Tasty shit runs away Which direction we going with this What's your name Bryce Dallas Howard Bryce Howard Dallas right Dallas Howard redhead? The one who just decided to eat one of the smaller dinosaurs in between movies Dallas Howard Bryce Howard Dallas redhead One of the smaller dinosaurs in between movies TLDR hot redhead got fat

He got unfat and she got fat so yeah They transferred energies Loses way another must gain It's part of the not having a soul thing you're like a hive mind She knows Bryce if you're watching this would you like to all you have a manly first name Jesus? I know why you go boy go by all three now Or it's Dallas Bryce Dallas. Yeah, is it Dallas Brisa? No way Dallas? We don't even know her name and we're mocking her weight

She's fat Wow Jesus is ripped Like any any any interpretation of Jesus just was who I saw a meme the other day was like Jesus He's like you've been working out with him. Just paint the painted on abs of Jesus like terribly drawn looks like a giant dick And I'm like, oh He's got a dick on his chest Jesus Christ we're just going all out this episode just offend everyone Nothing's funny

Who used to say that everything's I dubs yeahbs? Yeah, he did. Yeah, I-dubs. Remember when he was funny? Remember when he was, like, really offensive before he pulled up the ladder and said anybody who's not woke is a piece of shit? After he got famous? Yeah, I remember that. That was cool. Batty's, like, just scratching his head. No, I'm good.

I'm happy with today. Today's going good. I'm okay with all these people. It's your boys. And then we- oh. I'll rescind that if you let me fight in the next YouTuber bit. The YouTuber cage matches or whatever like fucking- The boxing things. It's like they're doing to YouTubers

what they did to slaves in Django Unchained. I know I'm not a YouTuber, but I'll fight you. I mean, you could be a YouTuber if you like- Tried. I mean, I'm not a youtuber, but I'll fight you. I mean you could be a youtuber if you like tried YouTube That's fair you can have credit like that's my third credit maybe a quarter credit I Mean like that's my foray into YouTube. I hate YouTube. I Love it. I really like you too. It Ryan, the kid that does the videos versus unsubscribe.

It's all of us just beating the shit out of his toy opening child for a YouTube match. I can't remember what I was watching. Subscribe versus Ryan. It might have been PKA where they were saying, like, who, what YouTuber would you want to box? And he's like, Ricky Berwick? Oh No easy Ricky's ring interest is gonna be the most dope ring entrance He's like that jockey from left 4 dead 2 that just jumps on your back

I cannot think of much that I would like to happen less Is that scene from Red Dragon it's a wheelchair on fire coming down. Like the pyro's messed up. I knew he's on her back on fire. You have a tongue thing going down. When Michael Jackson got set on fire. It's Ricky. It's Ricky. I forgot about that scene from Red Dragon.

I don't know Has anyone ever replied to Ricky on Twitter and been like, I wish this was you? He pisses so many people off. Or just like, brave words for someone in Molotov distance and just have that gif. It's the title of this one. The hardest podcast ever.

Jesus. Holy shit. The title of this podcast should be not safe for work. Oh, God. All caps. The offenders. We got Christians,

cripples, and fat people down. And women, technically. We haven't gotten to that part yet. We'll get to that, yet. We'll get to that, Eli. Maddie's eyes just closed.

I'm not here anymore, guys. I can't see you. You can't see me. We found the line. What's better than a well-marbled ribeye sizzling on the barbecue? A well-marbled ribeye sizzling on the barbecue that was carefully selected by an Instacart shopper and delivered to your door. A well-marbled ribeye you ordered without even leaving the kiddie pool. Whatever groceries your summer calls for, Instacart has you covered.

Download the Instacart app and enjoy $0 delivery fees on your first three orders. Service fees, exclusions, and terms apply. Instacart. Grocer $0 delivery fees on your first three orders. Service fees, exclusions, and terms apply. Instacart. Groceries that over-deliver. Yeah, absolutely. I like having sex. Let's go, dude. Holy shit.

Alright, we're good. There's almost white fly everywhere. Oh, yeah. Goddamn. It's hot. It is, like, incomprehensible laughter. alright we're good there's almost white claw everywhere oh yeah god damn it's hot it is like incomprehensible after volume 3 volume 6.9 everyone's just like

nice and toasty in this fucking room I can tell I went to hell welcome to hell it's my house this is training we're so guaranteed a ticket going to hell that we to hell. It's my house. Training. Yeah. We're so guaranteed a ticket going to hell that we're already like kind of slowly getting there as we're still alive.

No, that's why Texas has been so hot lately. Satan's down there like, yeah, we'll just start cooking them now. He's like, yeah, he's just a switch. Time to get an eight for one of that group right over there. They moved in one area. He's down there taking his bets on the Deadpool. Nobody put four for one the whole table at once

It's cooking all high stakes betting through barstool My bookie calm so I started operating Okay, I'm gonna to hit up my sponsors. I guarantee you they won't do that. You should ask anyway. They don't pay me anymore, so I don't care. We can test it. I mean, they do fights.

That's like one step below death. Was that poll on our Reddit over? Or was that one still going? Oh, yeah. I don't know if there was an end, but they agree with our conclusions, which is, patty number one and then Brandon number two clearly second number three and then you're gonna die last Yeah, I'm in last place on which is crazy. You're the old. Yeah, I know words out of my mouth No speaking of the subreddit guys Fucking artwork. Oh, please. Please submit artwork and memes to the subreddit, and we'll show them here on the podcast.

The superhero stuff specifically, because Jack Naked Batty had us rolling. At fucking... At Mamosa time today. You just like... You like slid that phone over. Then you see Jack Naked Batty with his beard. I lost it.

What the fuck is going on? Just need to add just a tiny pee pee Just the littlest dick Just like the old Greek What is it like the Greeks or the Romans where they said that like having a tiny dick was like more regal Oh yeah Like less animalistic You're like oh I've got a tiny penis therefore I belong in the aristocracy

Well that makes a lot of sense. As soon as I said it, I'm like, fuck. I get it. Yeah, you couldn't show your glands either. They have to tie the rope and wrap it. We actually make a pee. Oh, we talked about this

before. Yes, a pee pee band. This wasn't on the podcast? Yeah, we did this on the podcast. Or did we just talk about this randomly? No, This wasn't on the podcast Yeah, we did this on the podcast Or did we just talk about this randomly? No, this wasn't on the podcast I've heard this 20 episodes, 30 episodes ago You said the glands as in like

The tip of your dick Because everyone was circumcised back then Other than the Jews So gladiators, they would have your foreskin over And they'd tie a little string around it And then you'd tie that string around your waist So it'd hold it up It was like a belt pee pee. I am not

Dick or cock like Hey bros my is my pee pee belt looking like you're checking each other. Yeah, the glands not showing Let me adjust that for you. Yeah, you like you got your friends dude. He likes way better at tying these dick knots No, no, no seriously, I got you bro Okay, cut off like here hold this string right here, buddy. Thank you. Okay, we're good. That's nice and tight. Toss it around, you catch it. Everybody listen to me.

Use this teeth. You can take my dick out of your mouth now. Just holding it there. No, I gotta wait till I get the other side. No, you can really till I get the other side Zero shape as this is going down the dude like four back in the lines like getting in the direction slowly. Uh oh, my gland showing.

You are! Fucking homosexuals. You just undo the knot right after. Oops. It fell. Wait, what if it's knotted and you pee? Like a balloon Combat or whatever and then they bring out like a leak. You bring out the lion. And you just piss himself. And just... You guys and your flappy coomers.

So for anybody who wants to share a podcast anywhere, this is the episode to send to your friends. This is the one. You'll know if they're your friend or not after they listen to about 20 minutes sponsors we're looking for sponsors The kind of pisses himself. It's like you like I'm getting it It's like this scene where they're changing the baby's diaper. He's like, Oh! Oh! Oh!

Just plug it with your finger. And then he's just like, Oh! And then he's like, Oh! You know, out of all the things I thought we were going to talk about today, Gladiator sounding was not one of them. Dude, can I keep forgetting that's called sounding

i'm just picturing russell crowe as we're talking about this this whole time i just got russell crowe i'm thinking of eli jamming his finger into Russell Crowe's cock. But it keeps cutting back to him. Are you not entertained? No, no. It's that scene where I'm, like, plugging it and, like, tying it off and it just keeps cutting back to, like, the fingers through the high grass. Like, that's the story.

This kid running to him in the afterlife. The wife. He just keeps on. Yeah, the hot daddy! He's got his teeth on it. Yeah, and he keeps getting back to me, just hold the rope. I can't get it! As he's still tying it off, like, my ancestors smile upon me Imperial, can you say the same? Oh, now we ruined Skyrim.

Holy! Wow. Holy Wow That's a good turn That was This is what it's like to hang out with those guys I'm sorry This is every dinner and brunch that we have This is every minute

Pretty much We always try to like move It's like where's this table being located at Oh in the center of all the family section Can we move this really far from this in the back? Do you put us in there like the kitchen like us we go to a nice restaurant. It's like Yeah People wear pants that is your We went to one fancy

Nice girl I remember we went to one fancy Like steakhouse and shit And I had to take my hat off Like they wouldn't let me Wear my hat Yeah Yeah we went there

I was wearing like a cut off In short shorts Cause we all looked like Fucking We just came We looked like a Hot topic It was bad

I don't know if we came From the ranch or the range Or it was bad bad Cause remember we all went up To go to the bathroom And they followed us They followed us They literally built a human wall of servers in front of the door like no no sir this restroom's this way please don't fucking run yeah i forgot they did there's like it's this way here we'll take you the fuck is going on we were dipping out on the bill

they wouldn't let me wear my hat on the restaurant. And we were like alone on that side too. That was one of the times they... Oh, yeah. We didn't start alone. You're right. We didn't. Oh, that lady table was not happy with us.

We upset that one. You can only say come so loud. That was a nice restaurant. The more you know. Remember on the middle school bus when you guys would be like, who the old penis? That's like us, but as adults. Except we don't even do anything wrong with us.

We're still sitting at the back of the restaurant. It's just so bad. No, not like that. You were talking about riding on the bus, and you're like, we're still in the back of the restaurant. I'm like, what the fuck do you mean, Eli? Let's expand on this thought some. Batty's closing his eyes.

It's okay. Okay, he said trouble. We're good. The troublemakers were in the back of the bus. You're not getting any better. In high school or middle school, whatever. Fleck, fast forward. Go. Oh. Fluck! Fast forward. Go!

Okay, new segment. Cody, Cody, stop floating. Bro, all I can think of is like, Fluck, just take like 10 minutes prior to the podcast, and just put the fast forward symbol and just redo it over that so you just hear That's what he did last time. Did he really?

On the last episode. That's what, when I said, yeah, I was like, fuck. It's like, hi guys.

Well, it's going, it just skips the batch. You're the best. Wendy's most important deal of the day has a fresh lineup. Pick any two breakfast items for $4. New four piece French toast sticks, bacon or sausage wrap, biscuit or English muffin sandwiches,

small hot coffee, and more. Limited time only at participating Wendy's Taxes Extra. Don't skip anything here, Flug. Hold it all in, but keep it on Batty's face. Camera tracks. Brightburn over here. Wait, what's my new name, Eli? Yo, that was a good fucking movie. I want to watch it. Have you not seen Camera tracks right burn over here

Seen right, but I know what it is. I haven't seen it. Holy shit. That movie was good. I forgot how dark it was It was so violent. What's the original the boys basically for Superman, right? Yeah Man was like a fucked-up kid instead of like a happy. I'm gonna save the world kid It's hey, you're sad. Oh, it's literally the origin story of Superman. But then when he hits 13, then puberty hits. And then it's the alpha instinct of you're a predator and these are prey. Yeah. It's so good.

Unbelievably good movie. That's the one where he kills the lady in the diner. Yes. Okay. Yeah, I know. I saw that a long time ago. The fucking freezer and he like rips the door off and i forgot how violent like when he hits that one police officer like at the front door he just like explodes into pieces i was like oh yeah this

is super violent i forgot how the car wreck scene is a fucking yeah i gotta go back and watch that again i need to watch it It's live action This is just like a violent superhero movie This is a little teen that literally just hits puberty And now he's going to It was the birthday and then he goes to start The fucking lawnmower That next day and he's like

And he like pulls and the lawnmower goes Like just Yeets that bitch and he's like The fuck that goes and look the blade's spinning up And he just puts and the lawmower goes, whoa, like just eats that bitch. And he's like, oh, fuck. That goes and look at the blade spinning up and he just puts his hand in it. And it just like stops immediately on his hand. He's like, I have seen that part. Yeah. Yeah.

I need to go home and watch that. That gets dark. Don't put your hands in lawnmowers. It'll be fun. Brightburn? Yeah. It was Brightburn, right? Yeah, Brightburn.

Brightburn. I'm going to go home and watch that right after I take a goddamn shower. Jesus fucking Christ. You're sweating indoors. You're just like, had to be Texas. It's only 107 right now. Yeah. Directly on this

one part of my house, it's fine. It hurts so much. Yeah, Brightburn. I was watching trailers or videos two days ago about that because I was like, oh, yeah, what are the scenes in this? You just see how fucking dark it goes. And you're like, who directed Brightburn? I don't know. Did that movie do good?

It did decent. But they had like it. That's one they had at the end. You remember during the credits, it was showing the other supervillains that were like popping up around because it was like one planet. It wasn't just him. Yeah. And you're like, oh, this is dope.

And then that was it, though. Unfortunately, it was like rated R Superman movie. Right. Hey, this is what happens if Superman was a fucking dickhead or Homelander. Yeah. That's a real good homelander horse story yeah i'm just over here thinking if we can tie like ropes to a tarp over this part of baddie's house so it's just like eating the tarp up not baking us in here be awesome

let's get a studio i keep saying it i'm looking for one that's what we're finding out now so it's I'm looking for one. We're getting one. That's what we're finding out now, so it's not this. I tried one of these claw flavors. I haven't had one of these. Grab one of the blackberry ones if you can. Wait, is there a blackberry? Oh, the wildberry. A wildberry.

A thigh smash. A thigh smash. A thigh, dude. And then we got the tricolor. I don't know how else it was pronounced, a thigh, until I was like 24. This is not a K. Yeah. Or a K.

Yeah. A Kai. A Kai. Straight up. Until I was like 24, 25. I was like, that's a Kai berry. And then I was like 20 this is okay. Yeah, okay Yeah, hi, okay straight up until I was like 24 25 was like that's a Kyberian I was like what you're fucking what it should be more. Oh, no, that was wait. Yeah, this is black cherry There's no black ones You just open that I only had one Brand-new case I don't remember. Oh my god, that feels so fucking good.

I know, that's like the best part of this. That's why we get these. Our guests are going to be hunting, bring something cold so they can rub their body on podcast. Oh my god, I forgot Meatball sent those fans. They're sending my truck. Meatball sent us each a... Who is Meatball? Don't worry about it. His name is Meatball. Meatball, we love you. He sent us these neck fans don't worry about it his name is meatball yeah

meatball we love you he sent us these neck fans you put it around your neck and it just blows your fucking face he sent four of them they're sitting in my truck right now i had one in iraq temporarily until you realize you have to charge this stupid thing and we didn't have many electrical outlets all the time no electricity in iraq yeah weird. That's so crazy. I know. I just assumed they had any way to have solar out where the sun is hitting the desert all day long. I should have solar on my house right here. Converted to AC. Like, yes, we win! I am God.

I am honest to sun! Just one panel right above this little fucking roof and we're good. Monkey has found tools. Oh, monkeys. We're just one panel right above this little fucking roof and we're he has found tools Rip cartel monkey calm What's the picture they're using for it for Yeah, pay page made it for me. Oh, hey Remind me to send this to you put it up on Paige made it for me. Oh, Paige. I'll show you real quick. Remind me to send this to you.

You can put it up on the screen. Well, he's looking this up. He's already got it. Oh, okay. Oh, my God. It says ride or die on the poster in Spanish. Oh. I just like there's blood on the fucking. Oh, no, I didn't notice that

Fucking cool Him did his little best Story of my life Him did his little best. So is there gonna be a second date or uh... No, okay. No, I get it. That's fair. Give me the rope. I'm your puppet master. Okay guys, let's go! Is this Eli in the backseat the whole time like,

You're doing great. Master of puppets, pull your strings! Twisting your cock and smashing your dreams! Yeah, that's my puppet. I don't wanna be here anymore. I technically don't have to be here. I can like walk out and go home. I know, you can leave at any time technically Always

Peace Should do that once I just dip out and fuck it up Guys I'm bored as shit I'll see you later This is my line I'm out I can't do this anymore Oh man I don't think I found my line I know I watch your like your everyone's videos I'm like I watch your, like your, everyone's videos.

I'm like, I watch your videos with your jokes, your Twitter. I just go on your Twitter. I'm like, here we go. It's going to be a good one. I know.

And I just see everyone's like, I'm like, yeah, yeah, we're definitely, it's going to happen one day. Just win. The giant win.

I just don't care about my Twitter. So I just go as hard as I can on there. I didn't care until I got the checkmark. Now I'm like, okay, that was really hard to get. I'll keep it around for a bit. I don't want to do it, bro. Actually, not really, no. Dude, Dankula was hilarious. Did you see that when the whole Roe v. Wade shit?

He pretended to be a Supreme Court justice and he had a check mark. So everybody believed it. He's Scottish. He's never like, he's been to the States once and he just changed his name to Justice Dankula and just photoshopped his face on like a Supreme Court justice. And he was like fucking combating women on the like Joe Biden's post about it. And he just goes like, well, if you bitches don don't settle down i'm just going to make women illegal oh yeah 100 jesus christ you remember dank here not for a long time do you know who we're talking

about he's the one that made his little pug dog uh do it oh yeah oh my god that's the dude that's been banned in like germany or didn't get arrested or something. Yeah. He's from the UK. He, uh, he got arrested there for the dog thing.

Yes. Oh, he's just a world-class troll. Yes. Yeah. And he owns baddies uncomfortable. I can tell by baddies eyes. I told you we'd get to the women part later.

He actually just, uh, actually just uploaded a video yesterday where he got to the end of the pug trial. He just finalized everything. Oh, because he won and got a bunch of money from a GoFundMe or some shit. He didn't win. He pled guilty. That's where I'm at.

What was the... He did start the charity, the GoFundMe. Yeah, he gave it all to charity. To help people. So this is a woman replying to him. The fact that this man is on the Supreme Court of the United States and tweeting things like this. Unprofessional. Comical.

This man is the reason women will die. His reply. I hereby declare the Itty Bitty Titty Committee a terrorist organization. What? What is this? True. terrorist organization. That's when you meet those people. I was like, I feel this group.

I'm like, man, my friends don't give a shit. And then I see those guys. It's like, that's that next level of not giving a shit. That's where it's like, man, you know, this guy would get along and this friend. Oh, I see you It's like I can I understand like not knowing all of the Supreme Court justices like I could probably name five But Jesus fucking Christ to not being able to Google first of all justice. Thank you Thank you by itself you're just like yeah, I don't think that's How about that Jesus guy Batty's like let's roll it back

Flugg just blur out Batty's face For this segment just pixelate it Every time it cuts to Batty So he's not It's like your end stream Your end stream title card like Batty will be back soon Every time you talk It's like

We'll just like do a voice synthesizer Your N-stream title card like, Batty will be back soon? Every time you talk, it's like, oh, ho, ho, ho. We'll just do a voice synthesizer. Just make it so it's not you. You're like the drug dealers on National Geographic that are blacked out. Yeah. Getting your kids to school safely is important to you. It's important to us too.

Toyota, for what matters most. Well, sure, I've killed people. I've killed plenty of people on the streets. I need this. Holy shit. Okay, now, Batty, do the thing. Hey, guys, does your beard and hair suck? That's great.

Go over to outofregs.com, outofregs with a Z on there, and check out their new smooth operator beard cream, beard oil, pomade, body wash, shampoo, conditioner, and all sorts of other cool wonderful products to keep your grooming needs up to snuff and a batty beard oil and yours went live they got it they're starting to ship it out already oh already well yeah okay well shit fuck cock you should ship batty stream stuff fuck i mean he put it there but like photoshop i Photoshop, you don't have to do that. Yeah, head over to Adorags.com, go to their collections page,

you'll see Donut Operator, as well as Batty, and you can get some awesome cream for your mustache or pomade for your hair from Donut Operator and get some beard creams or beard oils from me, and you can put us on you. And fuck me, I guess. And unsub,

unsub. And fuck him, I guess. And unsub. Unsub. And fuck him. Unsub or cum 20. I mean, you can put us on him, too. Back to making fun of the other people. So, about this Christ figure. My brother in Christ, you must endorse Out of Rags.

Use code CUM20. That's gotta be the best selling code, right? Surprisingly not. It just does really good. It's just a random code, but it fucking moves the needle. You hear that, guys? It's not the best used code yet yet use come 20 c-u-m send your bald dad a funny gift send him some pomade i i never know

what is going to actually make it to the episode same that's what i love that's where it's like we have there's the and then a lot of people, why is that? Where's any of this line right now? It's a very blurry line. Have you seen my vision? It's not great. Oh, we don't have a line. Where'd our line go? It's kind of like a...

100% have a line. Alcohol is kind of like the sun setting. Because you've got like a shadow of a flagpole. And the line moves. As it goes later in the day it's the line gets farther and then you wake up the next day like oh no why am I so far

away from the shadow it's even worse the sun sets the line goes away anything goes and the sun goes down oh man the video games shit I don't know we just played Oh Man the video games. Ah shit. I Don't know we just play In Tarkov. Yeah, you've been actually playing him shit the other day a little bit. Yeah, we're

Like level 10 like I'm not like okay. I mean that's that's for you. You're playing offline again Well, what were you I was streaming a little bit 33 34 34 now, okay, it's fucking 39 now and no it's crazy cleans not even no laughing it. He's still doing variety streaming I was actually just talking to clean today about it. Damn. That man is just good at target like me. I Played five and a half hours yesterday. I survived two raids jeez player I survived almost all my scabs fucking hate those days dude It was just it was all interchanged. Nothing but extract camp every fucking raid or a dude sitting in a bush right near it.

It was bad, bad. What do you do on those? Are you just waiting? Do you just suffer? I'm trying to think. Like, Warzone right now, they got rid of a lot of the shrubbery on whatever map it is. Caldera, let's say it's that. But they got rid of a lot

of the plant and shrubbery because it was way too much. Still shrubbery and I still use it to hide, but I was like man, there are... Covered versus concealment, EY. But sometimes you just don't fucking look. Tell that to the North Vietnamese. It worked for them pretty fucking good. Until Agent Orange got involved.

Now the babies have five arms Napalm is perfectly politically correct. It doesn't discriminate at all hates everyone Really dude. Will you show me the the white phosphorus and the guys I socket that one dude? Get white phosphorus. Don't fuck around this guy having a looking I out the front yeah what did he lean forward you have to this is the only thing but he was just like they were trying to like put it out and shit you can't put it so it's literally sand until it burns out yeah that's why it's like it's like my is this can we use this shit it seems very bad this is mean guys

You're in the middle of war This is really mean which is weird in the first place to have rules during like which is why the people who drop the bombs Fly away, so they don't have to see the aftermath That's really guys on the ground who don't have the bombs horse blinders it's like don't look don't look don't look we just go don't look don't look i delivered ice cream you just got like the uh the enola gay just flying along there just like steve i thought it was midnight it's awfully bright outside it's like world war three is all fun and games till the sun comes out at 10 p.m. Have you seen that short cartoon on YouTube? It's Thomas the thermonuclear bomb or

something like that. It's like, dude, dude, dude, dude. Yeah, yes. I can fuck. Can I? Oh, OK. Sorry. You really have to see this. Oh, no. It's super short in that can fuck

Thomas the thermonuclear warhead This is like some weekend it really is who mom on MSP Oh no. It's so simplistic. Yeah. Oh. Oh, that reminds me of what? Have you ever seen this video? Oh.

Which one? Well, that one. That was like, oh man, all these kid videos that I look at, I'm like, oh, yeah, I forgot about a lot of these things. So many old videos. YouTube's ruined me. A lot, yeah. Well, I don't think it was that. LiveLeak ruined me. LiveLeak isn't around anymore.

Wait, is it not? No, the guy quit. He said he didn't want to promote stuff like that anymore. The guy that created it. Wait, when did that happen uh last year did he just sell it off or did he no he's gone he didn't sell it he just deleted yeah he shut live leak down he was like i don't want to you know be pushing stuff like this anymore i said that in a darwin awards at one point i'm like you know shit's gonna be good and that live leak logo is in the corner but i'm like yeah live leak you made some of us grow up far too quickly.

That is the damn truth on a lot of that. Like those old things, you're like, oh, God. Holy shit, yeah, dissolved May 5th, 2021. Yeah. No shit. Didn't win away. The reason was just that? Rest in peace.

Yeah, I think he was saying he just didn't want to do stuff like that anymore. Or in one out from a homie LiveLeak. On Batty's floor. On Batty's floor. He just didn't want to do stuff like that anymore or on one out from a homey lively baddies Where's their mushrooms going right here? It's so warm and warm and damp That he gets rated for growing shrooms just because I poured out a Heat random shit starts popping up. Oh no. It's like an upside down world.

The floor looks like fucking Stranger Things. There's shit coming out of it. Betty, why is there a fucking rift in your house? Scientists come there, it's the perfect environment. I'm in the corner just drinking water. Spores are floating through the fucking video. He's like, oh yeah, sorry about that, guys. Shoves it all back down. Nose bleeds.

Yeah. It's not that bad. He's still blaming the AC. It doesn't work in here. It works in here. Stand right there. Stand right there. I mean, you're too short.

Never mind. Somebody taller, stand over there. That one segment. It feels great right there. Oh, you're too short never mind somebody taller stand over there that one segment It feels great right there nowhere else in this room. It just does not doesn't hold her I don't know the one meme of you with your face the reddit is so good you're just like uh these people get us still the the hand smashing the sandwich i fear no man nor god but this man is just crushing a fucking sandwich these people are our people unfortunately they're fucking idiots oh god here's the all idiots. All right. We still haven't started planning on subcon.

I'm just throwing that out there. Why would you say that out loud? Now they know. Fuck. Fuck. Indeed. I was hoping like come November. We're like, everybody just show up.

That's what it should be called. Come November. Come November. Instead of like, oh, it's not November. It's come November. Would you say last time best by night? Said best by what shitty is it closes at 8? Breaking through like fucking Black Friday Screaming come Arrested for fucking planning a riot Those hashtags I don't want you to know this but your fans will just do anything you tell them to I've caused 458

Riots Telling people to steal shit is free We need to get Alex Jones on the podcast. He lives in Austin. He is not coming in my home. I refuse to let Alex Jones in. No, he just has to sit here and speak in front of the microphone. We'll put the podcast in your van for that episode.

Okay. He'd come to my house. Nope. Do an episode of Unsubbed from my house for no reason. Alex Jones comes to my house and other people will know where that is. Yeah, okay. That man's watched. So am I, so that's okay.

Oh yeah, sorry. It's fine. That's why this room's so hot. It's all the cameras watching us It's all the batteries running for the fucking AC It's all the bugs in here The IRS agent's like, we'll get them dragon skulls one day We don't get the dragons, boy You're just like laying awake at night About to go to bed and you just hear like

The power down noise of like a Sony camera Or low battery warning you're like That's why the AC is not working man it is getting progressively hotter in this because it's 110 degrees out right now Oh a super hot outside right now. It's utterly hot outside. And my house is like, I can't keep up! We walked out of the restaurant, and I was like, ow. Why do we live where the air hurts? Dude, that's the fucked up.

I went from Vermont, where it was like negative 20 in the winters, whereas you walk out like... Your lungs just start freezing. And then I moved to Texas, and I'm like, oh. Oh, I'm getting and I'm like, oh Under my shirt Fine, I always forget how hot is here and tell it's like we have to go to the range or film something No, we don't Wow. Nope. You don't know you like walk outside it like 11 and you're like Fuck I didn't pre cool my car. Holy shit. Oh, no, I was there right before lunch. It was bad

Yeah, you have to wake up early to film. Oh Jesus Christ. Guess how hot it is right now. 103? It's a fucking 106 degrees. I said that earlier. Yeah, I literally said it's 106. I don't like that. And then we're gonna get one fucking dude from like Ecuador who's like, oh you think that's hot? It's 112. I well like yeah, also your Give a fuck about Ecuador Do What's the best thing to come out of Ecuador? Do you know where Ecuador is? I don't. Central America.

No. Fuck! South America. Great, you got it. I was close. It wasn't the one with three countries. It was the one with the lots of countries. There are so many countries in Central America.

How dare you? So many? Yeah, there's like a fuck ton. That was a Trumpism if I remember. There is a lot of countries in Central America. I could name them, but there are so many. There are several countries. Lots of great countries, lots of bad countries, but there's a lot of them.

Lots of bad countries? How many countries are in Central America? I'm guessing like five. Seven. Yeah, but he's like, there's bunches. There's literally tens-ish. Less than ten. Less than two hands. An incalculable amount

of countries in Central America. Nobody knows. Mexico doesn't count as Central America. No, that's North America. The one with three countries. He's struggling right now. There's bunches. I'm feeling real good about my B in geography right now. There's bunches over here.

You took geography? Look at our beer sweating. I know the beer sweating. It's perspirating. Guys, I'm hot, okay? This is the next guest. El Salvador. There's the E word I was thinking of.

El Salvador. Nice recovery. There's no recovery. What are you doing? If you do it. Oh, my God. Hey, guys, we should stop filming the podcast in the middle of a fucking day. When are we going to film this?

I mean, if we do it at like 7 a.m., I'm still awake from the day before. I know. I was like, what time did you wake up today? It was 1.20. Technically, I got up at 11 because I had to pee real bad. And then we're back to bed. I know. I've seen your text.

Side note, Betty, your text cracked me the fuck. Hold on, everyone. Oh, no. Wait, hold on. Before you read that, is that illegal? We'll modify it. Actually, not in Texas. What's illegal?

Really? Wait, which part? The thing I did. No, you should be reading it first. No, we'll be good. We hit the body, so it's not illegal anymore. Yeah, we'll be good. That's a joke.

I'm not talking about anything illegal. I think it's illegal. Illegal. We good for a podcast tomorrow sure betty oh just whoa whoa whoa you leave the minor out of it that's a joke betty also oh just had someone join my chat found the podcast from shorts today and this was at 1 a.m today i was streaming oh yeah tomorrow 2 p.m. At for lunch at mash Brandon's coming to bad use response So because I don't have insurance like a proper doll. I ran out of migraine meds

So I googled and found someplace in Canada It took like two months, but I got it from Dubai if I die banana And in my reply so is that a yes to the podcast too? I don't give a shit about the rest, Matty. Did you just say banana? It's a salute. Oh, it's a salute. It's a die salute. That's like a banana.

If I die, banana. That is what got me was the if I die, banana. It's a goddamn salute. Look at it. So I got these sketchy meds from Canada that came from Dubai if I die, banana. I just took one. If I die, banana. So is that a yes or no to the podcast? That's the last I die banana So is that a yes or no That's the last text ever

I love I sent that And then Cody responded At 11am Hi What time was the Migrate text that Like fucking literally the exact Minute after I sent mine

And no response to podcast Just your Like fucking literally the exact minute after I sent mine. I can't. And no response to podcast. Just your micro. I was like, did he respond to the wrong person? I can't tell if I'm crying from laughing or the sweat is just in my eye. Does it burn? Yes. I think it's a little, little column, a little column.

Oh my God. That text exchange is so good. You gotta see that new movie, dude. Dude. Dude. Oh my god, that text exchange is so good. You gotta see that new movie, dude. Dude. I'm going home now. We met a person who looks like Zendaya, if you got her off Wish.com. She stars in the movie Dune.

This is a real thing. That's why I missed this cover. That was our server today. She looked like Zendaya. Oh my God, she did. I missed why you guys started talking about Dune. I was busy. I was like trying to brand out. I was like, yo, she's like a Walmart Zendaya.

Does she look like a Walmart Zendaya? I'm like, yes, yes. And that's why Dune. Dune. D-O, yeah. And that's when I'm like, DUN! DUN! D-O-O-N. And that's why she stopped coming to the table, I think, after we said that. My drink was real shitty. I get it. Man, does anybody get like a spit consistency out of this? Like, I wish. Like, I wish Zendaya would spit in my drink. Yeah, but DUN, like D-O-O-N.

DUN. DUN. Welcome to Sand Planet Worm here. DUN. Would spit my drink Yeah, but doing like do-oh-oh Welcome to sand planet worm here Space we sell spice traveling in space is what does it yeah it makes like consuming the spice like you know you can travel through space and time but it makes you retarded just the second this is the cross we bear one warp drive you you I don't know I don't know I don't you know the voice is just it's linked there's no unbreaking it there's no

unbreak no little triple negative there all right I'm just the math meal you're like the fucking zach golf and i guess at the poker numbers flying everywhere except i'd be like fold and walk away yeah no i saw you gamble in vegas yeah pretty much i did great the first time did not do great this last trip yeah did you see fucking arab did the thing that he did when we were at shot show oh yeah he's the one that won money like yeah we first year i lost too i was like arab did the thing no we uh so we not the plane that's bad he's the next in-game tarkov item it's glasses with scared eyes

oh no dude when we were yeah when we were in vegas with our friend era you've seen him on the we had him on here right yeah he was on that happened right 15 ago but um we were playing roulette and if you bet on a certain number it's 32 times if you get that number on the roulette wheel and he really well yeah and he put a hundred dollars on it one at once we went to another table he put a hundred dollars on a number won it again so he's like up thousands of dollars and he sends us a tweet the uh the other day he went to vegas for whatever reason and he's doing his live stream out there did the same fucking thing the other day put a hundred dollars on one number doesn't doesn't bet on anything else he watched us for an hour yeah yeah just sat there joking drinking with us he's like i'll do 18 i was like i think even fucked up

i think you picked his first number and I picked his second number. Yeah. And we didn't do the single bet. Cause I swear to fuck. It was either like, Oh look, it's been 18, eight times in a row. I won't be 18 again. And he fucking bets 18 and it was 18 again. Son of a bitch.

No, it was fucked up. He shouldn't have won any of it. And he did. You're a piece of shit. Muhammad is strong with this one. That's fucking all he did though, man. He didn't bet the entire time. Oh, batty, okay. Jesus is funny, but Muhammad's off the fucking table.

Okay. Fuck him too. I don't want to piss off the people who don't live in my country. Fuck, let's do the juju. No, no no no no keep it. I know where you live Now this Doc's bad That happened before it's not great plane hits bad The Asian blood kicks in he puts on the Eli what's the what's the rising sun flag for? Madison has been a bear in my bed.

But he will appear in his own life. House is like a hair. But he will not appear for AC. He will not a player for AC. He was not a player with his life. He was a player for honor of a much country. Thank you for watching the Upsubscribed Podcast. I'm here with Donut Operator, Eli DoubleFab, I'm Batty, and of course our very special... Not that special anymore, Brandon.

Thank you! See you next time. Fucking hell. This is technically work, just a reminder. Oh, we went the gamut.