Unsubscribe Podcast - 63 - Crossing the Line ft. Brandon Herrera

Episode Date: July 21, 2022

Unsubscribe Ep63 - Crossing the Line Ft. Brandon Herrera GUESS WHOSE BACK, BACK AGAIN. BRANDONS BACK, BACK AGAIN. TELL SOME ok you get it. AK Daddy is back and this episode took an extra day to get approved by youtube. good luck. GO CHECK OUT AK DADDY BRANDON!! @Brandon Herrera https://www.youtube.com/c/BrandonHerrera OUR MERCH: https://www.bunkerbranding.com/pages/unsubscribe-podcast WE HAVE A SUBREDDIT??? https://www.reddit.com/r/UNSUBSCRIBEpodcast/ CHECK OUT https://outofregz.com/ CODE: UNSUB http://gfuel.com/discount/baddie CODE: BADDIE ------------------------------ WHERE TO LISTEN Spotify https://spoti.fi/2Ye8YOU Apple Podcasts https://apple.co/3cbqY4k Amazon https://amzn.to/2YbzQia Google Play https://bit.ly/2YcWmaD Stitcher https://bit.ly/3cbnY8o ------------------------------ Follow the Cast of Unsubscribe -Baddie- @Baddie Streams https://www.twitch.tv/baddie https://twitter.com/BaddieStreams https://www.instagram.com/baddiestreams/ https://www.youtube.com/baddiestreams -DonutOperator- @Donut Operator @Operation Donut https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwkm_Wcyh0pc7UUmZZfL-6w https://www.instagram.com/donutoperator/ https://www.twitch.tv/DonutOperator https://twitter.com/DonutOperator -Eli_Doubletap- @Eli Doubletap https://www.instagram.com/eli_doubletap/ https://www.twitch.tv/Eli_Doubletap https://twitter.com/Eli_Doubletap https://www.youtube.com/c/EliDoubletap ------------------------------ Edited by Fluck https://www.twitch.tv/fluck Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Wendy's most important deal of the day has a fresh lineup. Pick any two breakfast items for $5. New four-piece French toast sticks, bacon or sausage wrap, English muffin sandwiches, value iced coffee, and more. Limited time only at participating Wendy's Taxes Extra. It's back. Sorry. Yeah, we forget to do that. What the f*** are these?

Oh, they're not at all. They're not frozen? They're not frozen at all. This is bulls***. We gotta put them back not at all. Oh, they didn't- They're not frozen? They're not frozen at all. This is bullsh- We gotta put them back in the freezer. Wait, Batty is your- Or it's just like 110 here in Texas, so they might have just like-

No, it's Batty's house. Batty's freezer is the equivalent to this room. IT'S JUST PROBLEM! Oh no. So, you guys need a studio and an appliance budget. Yeah. Silverware. We'll just get a fridge. an appliance budget. Silverware. We'll just get a fridge. We'll just get the baseline.

Somebody was like, every episode they say they're getting a studio, they're still at Batty's Sauna? Yeah. Batty's Sauna. Say hi to Eli. He's racially ambiguous. Batty. That guy's fucking ridiculous.

Donut. That's harder to rhyme rhyme but he's a really nice guy welcome to unsubscribe hey guys thanks for watching unsubscribe podcast um make sure wherever you're listening or watching whether it's on youtube uh castro spotify apple google amazon pod Stitcher, or that's all of them. Please leave a comment, like it, thumbs up it, give it a rating of five stars, whatever you do. It helps the podcast out immensely. And Donut and Eli will be very happy if you do that. And we want to make Donut and Eli happy today.

Yeah. Five stars on everything and a comment if there is possible because we need to be at the top don't it say something motivating And that's where the you come that is come subscribe. What is this Ryan? What are we doing? What is this? Oh, yeah, you open it. Oh wait. No This is why you're not a real host yet I was trying to like fucking- Fair and Brandon aren't fighting internet. Yeah, totally not You guys have seen it here we got drama Doctor punch him in the face Hi everyone, we got master Roshi here I'm podcasts everyone we got master roshi here subscribe podcasts here we got master roshi we got uh eli we got brandon herrera he's back for uh we're getting canceled episode

four now right yeah something like that if at first you don't succeed have me back on again we're like guys we still gotta do this goddamn podcast we might as well have brandon back on again. We're like, guys, we still gotta do this goddamn podcast. We might as well have Brandon back on again. So he got canceled. God damn it, I thought we got fired last week. Now we're trying to get fired. We talked about Jesus and no one said anything. These guys have been trying to get canceled for several episodes. So it's kind of like sex by Brandon. Sex. Sex with Brandon. I don't know. What are you? We can't say sex. You said it louder.

You yelled it. We'll fast forward this segment. No, we won't. Can't say what? We're trying to go out, but we want to make sure if three of us go, it just wouldn't be fair to not let you come with us. He's pulling Brandon down with it. You always are making the joke like I'm bringing you guys down

involuntary jihad We might have got one round of shots of bot force at today's Yeah, shout out to that guy by the way Mustache man from somewhere. He was a cop. Oh was yeah, he definitely doesn't give a warning he was so curious he was so courteous that i didn't quite understand what he was getting at right off the bat he just kind of showed up with booze i'm like uh what yeah that was the second time he came over after you got there he came over the first time but he stayed like 20 feet away and he was looking at brandon we didn't see him but he he was going. Like making a camera signal.

I kind of figured what he was getting at, but I wasn't like, sure, sure. I'm like, I don't want to be that guy. Like what? Can I help you, sir? Hey, little Met traveler. We turn into NPCs. Greetings. Well, hello.

Welcome to Mashed! God damn. We're not here everyday. He gave us moonshine shots. That was cool. He's a cop out of uh... What do you say? Lubbock? Texas. Oh I don't wanna dox him anyways.

Yeah it's probably me. He's from Texas. He was cool. Here's his home address. Laredo. I don't wanna do his home address Laredo. Oh, yeah Laredo Texas is the only He's from sex with Brandon Overtime working on this Money the god damn it brandon's in this episode i have so much more work to do now i literally think that with the second you set down everything like oh god damn

if i'm editing this i'm gonna have get this cut cut key ready to go the editors are the real heroes. Flog, this is for you. Fatty didn't salute you. Just remember that, Flog. What? I spaced out for a minute. I was there. You guys started talking about the help and I just zoned out. Help? Oh, no.

Sorry, AJ. The help. Yeah, my help is being real fucky this week guys You only edited 15 videos for me Piece of shit Piece of fucking shit Dude everyone went on vacations and traveling Yeah dude we were all gone this week

Yeah What were you guys doing? Haha Who goes first? Them cause I'm not Why not? Cause I didn't do anything But you did That baddie ball magic cards I did first. Them, because I'm not. Why not? Because I didn't do anything. I just left Texas.

That baddie bought magic cards. I did. He was late to brunch. So the king of not picking up what he's putting down, Eli DoubleTap, ladies and gentlemen. Baddie, what'd you do, though? Eli's like, I'm waiting. Nobody else is going to know why this is funny.

Camera slowly pushing to Batty. Add clock sound ticking. Cody, why don't you do this for me? I went to... Batty, why don't you do this for me? I went to a porn convention. I sure did. Did you just get walked in for free because of the mustache?

I got a press pass and got to walk in for free. You got a press pass to a porn convention? Yeah, dude. Okay, that's pretty awesome. It was cool. But what was the... To get that press pass. Okay, so I thought the press pass was just a film.

I didn't know it would get me in for free, so I went ahead and bought other passes. And the cheapest passes they had were the swinger passes so you had to be a couple and since i was there you didn't know the press pass would get you in yeah i thought you had to have like paid passes plus like i thought that just allowed you to shoot there i didn't know it got you into the convention so i bought regular passes regular by that i mean your alibi is starting to fall apart for this next bit yeah Alright, I'm a furry swinger. Yeah, so it was for a video on Heather's channel.

We need like a little ticker across the bottom. Breaking news. Don't an operator admits to being a furry swinger. Yeah, you're a swinger, but now you're a furry too? Didn't know about that part. That's not great. Yo, the Bad Dragon booth was rad. Yeah. Did you talk to him about sponsoring the podcast? No, I should have no no

we have the we have the i have the contact information for the owner and stuff oh my god i would love to know what the owner looks it's gonna be so much different when we talk about dragons now oh man baddies dragon dragon blue dragon we have our own goo dragon they do have that dude they had the goo dragons there. Yeah. It's like, it's like come lube. Dragon tails. Dragon tails. Oh no.

We back to the Boy Scout conversation we had. Fuck. No, it was fucking, it was rad though, man. Heather and I just walked around for two days and like talked to porn stars and stuff. And it was for a video on her channel where she's, she's going on interviewing these people. It was weird. Oh my God. The one text you sent us the thing the thing oh it well heather told me i had to say she not it but they typically like that yeah well it was we were we we had we were walking to the convention and it walked out in front of us with its handler and uh and i was

like fuck dude who brings their child to something like this but it's proportionate like a person but it's got a big head and i was like that's a toddler who brings their toddler in a bikini to things like this and i was like no no i'm about to go talk to talk to this word you can't use on reddit anymore like i'm calling the police right now but nah man it was 30 years old and this is weird it's definitely a way for a tiny person yeah it's definitely a way for dudes have you not seen it jerk off like legally jerk off to a toddler but i i was like i just cody shared the ig and i was like i feel like we got put on a list it is so uncomfortable we were all all like, what the fuck?

Because the voice does not help. It's a child's voice. What the fuck? Yeah. It's a child's voice. But it's like three foot tall. My favorite part of this entire conversation, like this text thread, is how he starts out. You can tell we're all drinking.

He's like, well, Heather keeps getting mad because I keep calling it an it. But it's disgusting. It is not right. It makes me sick. That made me super uncomfortable, man. That is super uncomfortable. Because you know the pedos there, that's... It's me sick. It made me super uncomfortable, man. That is super uncomfortable. Because you know, like, the pedos there, like, that's... It's legalized.

It's, yeah. Pedophilia. Exactly. This episode's getting age-restricted so fast. It's been 11 minutes. I'm sorry you're just pussies and words hurt you. You know. Yeah.

You're fucking ancestors. That's fucking weird, man! Well, that's what i said i was like imagine trying to bring that home and be like this is my date you jumped right there just right to that that's in the text thread i was like how the fuck do you explain you dating this individual i was like how the fuck do you bring this individual around your friends and be like this is my girlfriend your friends are gonna be like you're a fucking pedophile exactly no she was up on stage humping people and i'm watching and i'm like it's just it's fucking

disgusting dude kill it and i know oh god damn i know she can't help like how she was born but it was just like it's you can help what you do with it yeah it was it was it was odd man it was uncomfortable betty the voice isn't that of a child it was it was it was odd man. It was uncomfortable Betty the voices of that Dude she has a child's voice What I think most people would call a line That's new to me What is this feeling oh Man I hated it so much

You didn't look like I hated it so much. Why did you do it? Benny, what did we do? It was like I didn't talk to you guys the entire time I was there except for that because I was like, guys, I need you to be uncomfortable with me. You sent a couple of flashbangs into that test. In case I don't survive banana.

In case I don't survive banana. Oh my god. Banana. In case I don't survive banana. Exactly. They're correcting me so hard. Oh my god. Stop looking at her on fucking Instagram. I'm not. I'm just disappointed I wasn't in this text thread. He's like, why was I in this text thread?

Why aren't you sending the weird pedo things to me? I thought I was sending it to Blake's group. Sorry. Oh, it's okay. My bad. It's fine You didn't see the banana girls no, I see shit you don't want to see the banana I don't want to see the banana girl Anything happens, but I'm glad that's a running thing. Oh, no, see the banana girls. I feel like the banana girls. If anything happens banana girls. I'm glad that's a running thing now. Oh no, they're banana girls. Banana girls. That's like a fucking topographical map.

Wait, let me see that. Oh my god. God, it looks like an orange going bad. With a banana on top of it. You guys wanna talk about video games? We're talking about asses of a human. Yeah, that... not great. Same species.

Supplementary imagery would be probably really... Same species. That's the thing you gotta think about. Same species. As opposed... Are we going back into Bad Dragon stuff? I think so. I don't know where this is going. Now it's just like we're like, woo! Let's just have fun today!

So what else did you guys do this weekend? Fuck, what'd you do? Did you fuck and do what you're asking him or are you saying? I don't know. Oh wait. Cody's like, fuck, what'd you do? He's like, Cody, Cody okay let's segment this better I was at a porn convention

I was actually up in Indiana with all of my shop boys we call it lake boat with you know one of my guys has a lake house or his parents have a lake house in Lake Syracuse so last two years like we just take a week off and go fuck off and

the AKG crew as we described it that weekend uh was belligerent and numerous so yeah that's a good week it won't take long to tell you neutrals ingredients vodka soda natural flavors so what should we talk about no sugar added neutral refreshingly simple again okay yeah just hanging out with the boys boys making people have fun i want to know about going back to the corn convention what are the people like we are way fucking we're so

fast corn at this point no we're gonna go back and flug is redoing all those words it's exactly how you would think people are at a convention like that who come to meet the stars i don't see the yeah is it open to the public like anybody can just like an industry thing that has to be the creepiest dudes showing up sometimes like why did i say sometimes that has to be so all the time so like browsers was there because they're they're based out of miami and the line was like all the way through the convention center just to go talk to these busted ass bitches but they were waiting for fucking hours just just to get a picture with these these nasty ass girls on your facebook might admit your busted bitch won this weekend nana gonna like that one

i'm so proud of you good job what do you say to those people, too? Like, J-O, do you? Like your butthole. I have put so many leaders of cum into a sock watching your videos. Like, what the fuck do you say? They're going to be like, thanks. You're like, wow. You give me the best J-O sesh I've ever had. Like, I don't care. Yeah, what are the combos?

And pictures, first of all. Oh, what are the combos? And pictures. Oh, God. You have to shake their hand. That's the thing. So people recognize me there more than I've ever been recognized anywhere else. What's that say? I know, right? They're like, Donut, what are you doing here?

I'm like... No. No? You turn your swinger badge around. Oh, Jesus, man. Yeah yeah but like you're saying they shake my hand and i'm like hand sanitizer like right when i walk away i don't know what you guys are doing with those you just have like a blue don't shake hands like the surgeon's glove waiting in line the closer it was different i'm definitely gonna go back you said you have fun oh dude there's one in

new jersey like riley reed's gonna be at the one in new jersey so and uh charlie classic's gonna be there charlie's gonna be there when is this so like we thought going to the miami one was gonna be the best one because who the fuck wants to go to new jersey but it turns out because new jersey doesn't have anything more people go to it so all the big porn girls go there yeah amazing nothing really happens in the state equivalent of three mile island yeah so yeah we got to go to the new jersey one man it was fun it was way way that was the funnest convention i've been to in years i know we went to packs together and did some other stuff see everybody's like well you go to chat show you go

to these gun conventions like they're not really all that enjoyable for us. No the porn convention though, dude And that was people watching was fucking awesome. And yeah, of course, there's just like titties everywhere. So it was really cool Titties, I don't want to be controversial or anything, but I'm kind of a fan of titties. Yeah titties are kind of cool They're kind of neat. Okay. Yeah She sucks dick and that's gay. Batty's like, God damn it. Women are gay, bro. We can talk about Muslims again, Batty. I'm laughing, fuck off.

Are we the worst fucking people I have ever met? Let's spin the target wheels. We need a target wheel! Oh my God, just once every 30 minutes. And Let's spin the target wheels. We need a target wheel. Oh my God, just once every 30 minutes. We have Arab back on the podcast, dude. He was fun. He's cool.

He's in Europe this week. He's got the best fucking job ever, dude. Do what? What? What the fuck? Oh, man. He's in a the fuck? Oh, man. No, he's in a different country like every week, man. He just...

I can't keep up with his travel. It's constant, like everywhere. He was just in Amsterdam for TwitchCon. I would go insane with that. Maybe at his age I would have loved it, but my age, like traveling and never being home, I'm like... How old is he?

He's like my age, right? He's like your age, right? Yeah. That's a lot of travel, though. I don't even think I'd enjoy yeah 25 26. that's a lot of travel though i don't even think i'd enjoy it yeah that's a lot his content it works because it's his style of content you would be like i can't make a video right i can't make a video well most of the places where it goes cannot you can't make videos at all but it would be a blast i just couldn't do that lifestyle anymore i'm like now you arranged

Oh, I don't know if I can make that joke. Oh, well that when he caught himself I just hope like is doing I'm like that like does a good time. I like fucking we were talking about that It's for a great moral compass, you know luck will get rid of it. We forget everything I forgot we're talking about dot tying dick knots until people came into the chat and were like, man, Eli's a pro dick knot tie. I was like, what are you talking about? Oh, no, you kind of harped on that one for a while. You were stuck on that.

Were you in that group chat? I don't know. I was showing him how it's actually done because it's called the dog tie. He sent us the Wikipedia of it. There's a real dude's dick in there. I was like, Eli, you made this up. I was in there making a wiki. What's the English term?

The dog's dick. Yeah, it's my penis. Eli's like, I'll show them. Eli, your face is in the photo. We know you made this. It's like the dog. Like this. This was never a thing, Eli.

That's your dick. See your hand tattoos. I fucked Eli's dick up on screen. You put in champion dick tire, Eli Cuevas. Eli, you weren't a gladiator back in fucking before Jesus Christ died. Lord have mercy. In Kenneth's book of world records, like best dick knot tire. Like, you were the only one you were the only one

ever Still got the best Fucking making dudes foreskin look like the fucking end of a hot dog just tweets up. Oh, it's like a cartoon sausage I just hated now that I think about that some dude went in for that wiki and was like this is how you do this proper And literally took a picture. Yes, that is LARPing on a level that I can't get behind Well, I didn't realize there's two techniques for it You you get the shaft under we're not talking about this for a second podcast History story podcast We're not talking about this for a second podcast. Well, that's history. Nobody gives a fuck about this history.

This is a historian podcast. He's like, God damn it, this is our heritage. Just put the genre of podcast education and history. Did female gladiators have something? There weren't any. Yeah, I think they just got raped. I guarantee sometimes they were. Let these bitches cut each other? Yeah, that's going to happen back in the day. Something there weren't any yeah, I think they just can't guarantee something But these bitches cut each other yeah, that's gonna happen back in the day all right this one I will hold my tongue

In the movie gladiator there were female gladiators were there oh yeah the one riding the chariot the blackjack with the long hair yep She got cut in half by the what that's when the cherry came back around and Russell Bald Cut in half by the... What? When the cherry came back around and Russell Crowe was driving. She was like, I thought she was bald. She bald? This is too very... Oh, no, dude. That was the only female to fight her in that entire movie. That was it.

Yeah, you're actually right. She was the one riding. You don't remember that? She went, I haven't seen Gladiator in like seven years. Time to catch up. I saw it in theaters

first day it released. That's how old I am. That was a couple months ago. I love it. I'd never seen it like all the way through so I sat down like did a dedicated Russell Crowe's the man dude pretty dope you see him in the new Thor

I didn't know I would see him until like 10 minutes into the conversation he did his last role we won't say anything bad he did the trailers yeah okay he did his last role from that like angry trucker or driver movie where he has road rage and then did not lose that weight

no no he did not he plays like zeus oh no shit but like zeus let himself like zeus went through three divorces yeah this is who has an alcohol problem like Like us. OMG, he's literally me. You haven't watched a new Thor job? No, I haven't. My bad about the seats again. Oh my god, yeah, we forgot. I saw that. You guys were like, we're in the theaters. I just watched

eight cubic feet of Chris Hemsworth's ass. That was fucking awesome. That's fair. When I was looking I guess you don't know about that. That's fair. When I was looking at... So we got the VIP thing here in San Antonio where you actually get recliners and they put you in a booth and a waitress comes around

and they bring you booze while you're watching it. It's super cool. But I thought I was buying the ones at the back of the theater when I was clicking the thing, but I actually bought the ones at the front of the theater and the front ones aren't recliners.

It's just a bed you lay there the screen's fucking 8 feet from you we were at the fucking top looking for it I was like Cody where's our seats he's like it's somewhere I was like all these seats are taken oh we're

row 1 Cody when you open it no it's not! It says screen! No, okay. It says fucking screen! Thank you, Brandon. I almost fucked it up the first time I did it. Like, I understand there's, like, a map legend to it,

and I understand that I didn't fucking read that. I didn't read it. It's not intuitive. It's like a push-pull door. This is Cody watching YouTube videos. This is what it felt like. This is Joe. I was just like, it's like a push-pull door Wow I can't wait to watch Know which one did I not send that? Someone, like, Microsoft painted Dune.

And put it on our subreddit. I've got it. Big shout out to the unsubscribed subreddit right now, y'all are fucking wild. We're horn geeks. We're horn geeks. We're horn geeks. Fork, put this on the screen. Dune.

Dune. Brandon, will you send that to, uh, to me or one of just the group or whatever Holy shit But yeah we were up close and personal Dude when you look at the app okay I bought tickets there I've never fucked that up You would think the back Cause you do a picture

You would think the back is the top right It says screen I'm sorry I put it in the art It does it does it says screen I'm never doing this shit again Here I have to do the art! It's just that it's just for me. I'm gonna fuck y'all. I'm never doing this shit again. Here I try to do a good thing, I don't know, fuck you guys. Batty's like, I hate to agree with you. I don't like your room with the art, I really don't.

But it's this screen! Alright, fucking Dave over here, am I right? I don't know what cut. He's just like, ha! Just spearing Batty in the side now But it was good Like if you haven't watched it

We won't ruin it I'm gonna go see it Hopefully tomorrow Tonight I'm just gonna go see it I need to see it It's not Ragnarok I'm such a Marvel

No Ragnarok's better But still real It was fun Like it went really like Yeah It went quick They have really good jokes.

Running jokes. Probably say maybe second favorite Thor movie. Yeah, second favorite, which is not saying a lot because the other two are not great. Isn't there three? There's four. You have Thor 1, then Thor Dark World. Dark World was the bad one.

And then they switched it to Ragnarok. Yeah, that's the new writer. This is the fourth one. I thought Ragnarok was the fourth one. I thought there was Ragnarok. I thought it was the fourth one. This is the fourth one. I thought Ragnarok was the fourth one. I thought there was another one in there. I don't think so. It was fun. Yeah, it was fun.

That was good, especially with the drinks and everything else. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Dude, that new Avatar looks stupid as fuck, though. The wave. I haven't watched any new trailers before. The trailer was before Thor. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're right.

He's got a little little man pet like the big blue thing does like what the fuck it's not an it stop calling it okay heather it's a person fine your pet has a social security number the handler The handler. 13th Amendment has entered the chat. God damn. I can't do it. Oh, God.

Oh, wait, Batty, are the mics working? Or am I on the wrong mic? Check. What does your mic say? Look at the base of your mic. When does fast grocery delivery through Instacart matter most? When your famous grainy mustard potato salad isn't so famous without the grainy mustard. When the barbecue's lit, but there's nothing to grill. When the in-laws decide that, actually, they will stay for dinner. Instacart has all your

groceries covered this summer. So download the app and get delivery in as fast as 60 minutes. Plus enjoy $0 delivery fees on your first three orders. Service fees, exclusions, and terms apply. Instacart. Groceries that over-deliver. Same thing that all of ours said. No, the base. Not the bottom. Did you say Eli on it?

Where the fuck would it say Eli? Why are you all looking at the bottom of the mics? Because that's what you said to fucking do. Not the bottom. This is the base. This dude right now. Hold on. Hold on. Cuz that's what you said the fucking do not the bottom This dude right now is saying look at the base Brandon. Can you confirm? What color is this base right here black? It's not black one piece marker colored black

But this man is a black sharpie on a black and is like look at the base. Cody, stealth. I couldn't see that, I was like what the fuck is this dude talking about? It's right there. I know they're all there. Yeah, fuck you, baddie. That was rude. That was so rude, Cody. I didn't see the word screen.

Fuckhead. Oh, here we go. I didn't see the word screen I saw the mics where you've been screeching like an idiot the whole fucking podcast you open the podcast going I'm gonna have to get like a fucking like one earbud you're shooting here anyways you're fine no it's really not that side. You're shooting here anyways, you're fine. No, it's really not. That was my good ear. Welcome back to Nidus. I love that we were out on the lake in Indiana and just like sitting at the edge of the dock and like it's totally fucking quiet and I'm like, wow, this is awful.

I was sitting on the couch the other day and I'm just sitting there and all of a, I heard something weird. I'm like, and just like, and you just flare up. Like, it'll just like come out of nowhere. Like somebody like just hits you. Yeah. Holy shit. I was in the airport the other day and there was a really loud refrigerator in front of me at the bar and it turned off. And then my tinnitus decided it wanted, like, it's like completely quiet. It just, but do you ever get it like to the like point where it's like almost painful?

Trying to fall asleep and it happens. Yeah, that's Implants or whatever make my no't want to make my fucking brain stop fucking breaking. We never used those in gun. I didn't wear ear pro in Iraq. Weird. Because they had those plungers, you know. Oh, the 3M You should call it The lawsuit ones, yeah.

You're not going to put those in going to missions because then you can't hear. Yeah, so it's like, oh, just go open. So you're just running around just like in firefights. It was afterwards like, huh? Yeah. Nobody bothered to do the fucking math where they were like, okay, so what's detrimental to human hearing?

Like above like 100 decibels or something? 110? Yeah, 110. They're like, wow. Okay, well, howitzer is 150. The 3M has a decibel reduction of 25. It's good. Put them in!

Send them to Roo! Well, I didn't even... What's that? Fourth tour? What are those? Over-ear Peltors? Peltors, yeah. Peltors were just 2005 frame.

It's like when those were just getting introduced. So it was the outside. It high-pitched sounds. it brings those down yeah it dissipates those so the first time i put on pelletors when we were like firefly i was like up on top of the hatch and i'm just like on the saw and i was like because we were in a bad tick and then they were like i hear like i feel this like someone hitting the bottom on my leg like what what fucking what what I do like they're shooting at you. I was like what are you talking? Because it killed that fucking snap so I had no idea I was getting shot at shit. Yeah I think it was fun

Yay Iraq PTSD That is a great ad for fucking like Peltor so good you won't know you're being shot That's like one of those few I wish was on recording to see the fear in my face and immediately watching that dude get out of the hatch instantly i can i can immediately hear the fucking mall ninja bullshit ar15.com thread that's happening because of this they're like well the reason I don't wear your ear pro anymore It's cuz you won't be able to tell when you're being shot So I just I don't wear a pro at all because that's not tactical. I want to hear everything in my environment

after three rounds, it's like Yeah I know it's movies it doesn't matter best the one thing that Triggers me at every fucking movie when there's some kind of shooting and after They're like yeah, man. We gotta be quiet like how can you hear that cock down? They fucking nailed? Opens up with the 240 That's what it's like you ever just accidentally left your ear pro off shooting and you fire four rounds and you're like, oh yeah, oh yeah. God, and then growing up when we did it was when dads didn't use ear pro for their kids

shooting guns. Oh yeah. It's like, ear muffs. Like, this isn't gonna work. Wad up some paper towels, just put it in your ear, man. It's fine. Yeah, my grandpa would like take the casings and stick them in my ear. Your family was way better.

Like, you shoot guns. I remember going home and just hearing like Man I hate like the day after My dad just didn't know about ear pro pair For his kids growing up. He's like Matt So for those of you in Europe or whatever shithole country you're from where they don't allow you to own guns When you shoot a gun Unsuppressed with no ear Pro it is like high-impact sexual violence on your eardrum. Not the good kind. No, not the good kind

No, there is a good there's definitely a great guy, but the Dude coming in that girl's ear and her losing all her green was oddly specific. What? Is this the poor guy? That's a great segue.

I dated a chick in high school who her mom was deaf in one ear because her college boyfriend liked to blow in her ear with his dick. That was his kink, and she got so many ear infections, she lost hearing in one of her ears. Imagine trying to explain that to your parents.

Why did she? I would have made up for her. I stabbed myself in the ear with a pencil. I was born like this. A dude busted in my ear 20 times. Why would you tell your daughter? That's probably the sluttiest girl I ever dated in high school.

Mom, why are you deaf? Well, honey, you remember Steve? I hate girls. I love Steve. Earload champion, 1994. There I was. Getting pinned the gold medal.

Just getting earloads. There I was getting pin the gold Getting ear loads Q-tips for you You're just fucking churning butter Like fucking Amish chick with the fucking it's the girl turning butter thing he's seen at the fucking convention convention just like making milk over here man oh god i don't like that from the old 80s horror movie she really did oh i would just like whoever dates that person is kicked off the podcast effectively okay i know what i have to do i just don't know if i have to it oh man what did we talk about at brunch we said we were going to bring something into this conversation it was the porn convention yeah a lot but there was some there was something else there was a few we had a thing drink and i was like what you had a story you were telling you're

like can't tell it i assure you it's gone now because i was trying to remember it immediately after i said this was like i'm remember this. And my thought process immediately went to, what was it you were thinking about? And I was like, I don't know, internal Eli. And it was gone. I have a great story, but I can't tell it now. Every one of us has a brain of a fucking etch-a-sketch. It's like,

child drawing looks great. Gotta remember this. Shake it! It's gone. You just turn and it's like, it's like a slight turn That's literally our fucking brains man. It's where a dry erase board covered and come Speaking of boards however We have the death pool board Which is already giving up on life

So I ordered a chalkboard Off Amazon and FedEx Absolutely annihilated it Before they dropped it off at my house But it was only like $4 Somebody suplexed that motherfucker The box it came in was like Ripped wide open

It was hanging out of it and shit when I got it. It was it was bad. It looks like our brain smooth with two wrinkles These are memories Why is we have this perfectly formed just much for all the embodiment of our last four brain cells like we don't power to mine Hello handle You know exactly why it's anywhere Maybe in five years and we're all long canceled the internet. I'll know why but Yeah, we're gonna do not wait till I off myself first, please

No, no, you'll never get to see the finished product I'll be there I think we've talked about we have a list of skits that we can drop the words no okay never mind I don't think we've talked about we have a list of skits that we can drop the words no okay never mind I don't think we haven't said that on here yet we were talking about batty today just because like Wednesday we couldn't get a hold of batty to upload the episode

I was busy having a migraine oh my god everybody's just being like banana did you see our subreddit that day? No. Dude, bananas? It was a ton.

Dude, it was just fucking bananas. What Minions does to a motherfucker. Dude, it was the new emoji on iPhones, the salute. Eli thought it was a fucking banana. He's a fucking idiot. Your text came out of nowhere. It was like, whatever happens, and I put a salute. And he's like, whatever happens, bananas I put a salute, and he's like, whatever happens, banana?

So podcast tomorrow, 9am question mark? If you haven't seen the last podcast... You're not gonna watch it, it's fine. We get it. That's the one, now everyone's like, that's one of the top three to do. You good? Yeah, like, he was trying to make it appear on screen. I don't think it's gonna happen though. No, Fluck... on his though.

Yeah, there you go. And fade it away slowly and then put it to Batty's face. Dude, Fluck killed it on that edit with the Stranger Things bit. He did! I was like, what the fuck? I didn't see it. Shop with Rakuten and you'll get it. What's it?

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That's R-A-K-U-T-E-N Rakuten.ca The short? You guys should probably watch Yeah, it's literally a short. Not even a full podcast. It's one of the shorts. It has like flat out like visual effects. What? Yeah. Alright. How did I know? Hold on. Did you miss this? Do you not watch any of our shorts?

They're a minute. You don't spend a minute watching our content? It sounds like a lot of work i was there you were shitting for 10 minutes i know i think it was lively grew lively isn't around anymore wait is it not no the guy quit he said he didn't want to promote stuff like that anymore wait when did that happen uh last year did he just sell it off or did he know that's when we talked about the upside down he didn't sell Did he just sell it off? No, he didn't. That's when we talked about the upside down.

He didn't sell it. He just deleted it. He just shut it down? Yeah, he shut LiveLeak down. He was like, I don't want to be pushing stuff like this anymore. I said that in a Darwin Awards at one point. I'm like, you know shit's going to be good and that LiveLeak logo is in the corner. But I'm like, yeah, LiveLeak, you made some of us grow up far too quickly.

Yeah, I think he was saying he just didn't want to do stuff like that anymore. Or in one hour from a homie LiveLeak. I'm bad. He's floored. I'm bad. He's floored. Yeah, yeah, I think you're saying you just didn't want to do stuff like that anymore or in one out from a homey lively Where's their mushrooms going right here? It's like an upside down world. The floor looks like fucking Stranger Things and shit coming out of it. Is there a fucking rim in your house? Oh, fuck. We love you, bud. I want to flunk on the podcast. I want to flunk on the podcast.

Yeah, we got to get flunk on the podcast. We got to get flunk. We have, oh, Fat Electrician. He said in the next three weeks if we want to bring him down. Yeah, that one killed him. I don't remember him. Who?

Who? We're trying to, well, I we want to bring him down. I don't remember him. Who? Who? We're trying to. Well, I was trying to bully him into moving to Texas. Yeah, I tried to. Honestly. Yeah. I think he's considering it. Really?

Yeah. He would be a great addition to the team. Move to Texas. Welcome to the offenders. And he's a medic. So when we fuck shit up. Also, you can't say that word on YouTube. Unfortunately.

Medic? Yeah. Fuck shit up. Fuck shit up. Also, you can't say that word on YouTube, unfortunately. Medic? Yeah. Fuck shit up? No, no. Fuck shit up. So, all right. Fluck. Sorry.

I'm making your job difficult. Love. Did I say love? Wait, you can't say that on YouTube anymore? You can't say fuck on YouTube. What? It's in the same category as... What about Australian YouTube?

If you read the guidelines, guidelines is officially in the same category Do they list the words you can't say? Yeah, does YouTube say the n-word in the list? It is literally in the yes YouTube has sent the n-word Wow hypocrites So you can say it I didn't know about these like I know it I just-worth. I know it. I just don't think I should say it. Ten seconds, Mr. Marshall. I'd like to solve the puzzle. Heather and I saw the one that came on the other night with the Harley riders.

Do you remember that? They changed the definition of the word. Did they? Oh yeah. Yeah. And the show. I was like, they changed the word.

Yeah. Well, they changed the show. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. out the fucking you're gonna have to mute that one but everyone knows what episode i'm talking about because it was on comedy central but they did not mute or change that word in the show really yeah no they didn't yeah top bark still fucking pushing the line holding it down weird it's like jokes are funny it's like there's a difference between jokes and hate speech oh yeah exactly oh it's funny because the boys were in the auditorium and the the principal and they held like this big thing the principal and the mayor and the PC police or something.

The PC principal. That wasn't that one. The season's after. That was a couple years after. Oh, man. But the principal and the. What if we don't own a bag, but we're curious about owning one? Then I would be bike curious.

Jesus Christ. I forgot about that at the time. But they come in there like, someone's been spray painting this word all over the billboards in town and all in buildings. And the boys were like, yeah, we did it. Like, why would you do this? It's like, oh, no, we don't care about gay people. We just they're being a bunch of gay.

Just don't be. And it's all for the bikers. Like. Because they're sitting in the diner and they're like no one's paying attention to us boys That stigma I think is the only reason I still do not own a heart Bro, I got a Harley and I put the shortest loudest fucking pipes. I could on it They're just straight to the ground there are ground shakers like oh, there's a word for that I can't just resonated with me

I'm retarded Can we play that quantum leap oh my god here That way who sent that in god. Who sent that? I sent it to you guys. We were saying we're going to green screen it so we can put anyone we want on it. The possibilities are endless. I forgot about that conversation. Yeah, this is the episode.

This is the one. Just deep fake that one for a whole episode. This is the episode. I don't know what the fuck the audience has heard so far, but we really have gone harder here. I think we ever Cheers Weird when I quit the podcast It's still in my house It's gonna be me in the corner just shaking my head He's like uh uh uh uh You're holding up stuff in the corner He's protesting over in the corner I'm protesting the podcast He's quiet over there with his sign He's like you guys are rude

I'm unsubscribing from unsubscribe But he's in the corner holding that sign Yeah fuck you Ben Holy shit There's still a deal here though Oh yeah He's in the corner Yeah, he just gets his old cop a ton baton out Stop resisting dude. It has to you you in the shirt match your orange it has to do you in the ginger lives matter Everyone oh your shits live. I'd made it said that last time your shits getting shipped out So people should be getting this since I haven't even gone. Oh, yeah,'s live. I may have said that last time. Your shit's getting shipped out, so people should be getting it soon. I haven't even gotten it yet. It's on. No, I'm getting a huge

package with all your stuff. Your stuff. Random stuff. I love huge packages. Fuck me, I guess. Batty's just like, if you haven't tried out of regs,

toothpaste. It's so delicious. She's like oh, do you have it right? Oh out of regs? Oh god toothpaste? Fucking whip it's a virgin. It's just tongue in my brain. Stop doing that to the hair paste It's too late mother You've come 20 That's not what Outta Rags is for! It's too late, mother. I've seen everything. Use cum 20! Oh! Just eating it! I don't use that pot! I'm gonna empty this out and fill it with like fluff or some shit.

Do it like whipped cream. Alright guys, he uses his new code, Artard20. It's not gonna work. Yet. I would love that. It's just one episode. Hey, guys! Go to OutOfRags.com. Rags with a Z.

O-U-T-O-F-R-E-G-Z. Look, I can spell OutOfRags.com and use code Unsub, Unsubscribe, Come20, Donut, Batty,

maybe Brandon, Eli, and get some fucking pomade, hair gel, soap, shampoo, beard oil, beard creams, beard pomades, beard juice.

I don't know, man. Get your shit and buy it. Let's go. I'm going to switch yours to Batty's beard juice. The video is just us milking your beard. And it comes in the middle. Hi, welcome to the Atta Rags Farm. Atta Ragsggs farm it's 18 baddies on his hands and knees and we're like here we have the greatest baddie beer juice welcome to integrity farms it's gotta be caleb caleb's gotta be milking me so no they made these for

oh god they made they made these for you retardsards. Caution, keep out of the reach of children. Do not ingest. Avoid contact with eyes. In case of contact, rinse with water. Store in room temperature. Do not swallow. Oh, I shouldn't be in this room anymore. This is not room temperature. Front towards enemy.

Yeah. Front towards enemy. I don't listen to you, stupid can. You're not my boss. We didn't raise ourselves at the top of the food chain to listen to cans now i know baddie's commercial though it's gonna be baddie juice but yeah it definitely has to be caleb yeah it's been in the family for generations yeah just him milking him i hate it.

Murph! Murph! We have to shock back and calm him down. Keep him in a 95 degree room. Shout out to that guy on YouTube. There's that one guy on YouTube who is like one of our top comments every time who just like breaks down exactly what we talk about. Oh, the timestamp guy.

The timestamp guy. The timestamp guy. Good luck. YouTube is like one of our top comments every time who just like breaks down exactly what we talked about time Sam Good luck Time to get 32 seconds in brain bleed 59 minutes mentions me he puts that at the top. Please do. You go to the top time, guy. Made fun of ****, said the F word, said the R word, said the C word,

said the N word. You fucking timestamped the video based on racial slurs? Oh, God. You listed it. Video based on racial slurs. Oh The boys get canceled you make it really easy for the manual reviewer Purple hair in California is gonna see this time stamps and just freak out. Yeah.

What, what, what? It's gonna be like fucking Kyle's mom. Dude, that fucking episode ruined my life for two years. Which one? I was in middle school when Kyle's mom became a thing. Oh, God. Oh, no. Yeah. Kyle's mom's the biggest, biggest, biggest, biggest bitch in the whole wide world.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah At least your name wasn't Stacy Oh yeah that's fair Stacy's mom Got it going Dude that has Matt Damon in it Stacy's mom Stacy's mom does not have Matt Damon in it No no no

You're thinking about Euro trip No but he sings How fucking stupid have Matt Damon in it. No, no, no. You're thinking about... Road Trip. Yeah, Euro Trip. Euro Trip. No, but he sings how fucking stupid the boyfriend is. Scotty doesn't know? Scotty doesn't know. There it is. Yeah, that's the one. Scotty doesn't know. That's Matt Damon? Yeah, that's

Matt Damon. He's the singer in that. What? Yeah. Look it up. I've seen that shit so many times. That's Matt Damon. This is a little before my time, not gonna lie. It's a good- if you ever- If you're a true- If you're a true- I don't think so.

No, it's a good one. It's still good to watch to this day. Scusi, a scusi. What the f- Oh yeah, when they're in the train. In the train! And it's like every time it goes dark and he's like, What?

Like, it's like this, it's like, first time it's like dark, he's like, And the lights go back on, he's just holding the guy's hand, he's like, Uh... That's fucking Matt Damon! It's bald Matt Damon! Yeah! It's a- First time it's dark, he's like... And the lights go back on, he's just holding the guy's hand. He's like, uh... That's fucking Matt Damon! It's bald Matt Damon! Yeah. Scotty doesn't know! Scotty doesn't know!

That we do it in my van every Sunday. God, that's a classic song, too. You gotta watch your road trip now, dude. It's a great movie. I might go home and movie Go upstairs and watch it Dude the exchange rate bit is What happened to those movies Like Euro trip

Fucking American Pie like your raunchy Slapstick comedies what happened They started getting shittier Like Superbad was the peak of that It really was American Pie was really good The original was like They started getting shittier. They were awful. Like, Superbad was the peak of that. It really was Superbad. And what was the other one? American Pie was really good. American Pie was fucking amazing.

The original was like, you grow up and, like, you see it, like, the fucking Walmart, like, unrated cut, and you think it's just porn. But, like, it's actually a pretty good movie. No, they were fucking great. There was just more titties in it. Yeah, which, okay. So it was great. I see this as an absolute win.

When Broken Lizard was fucking king of fucking comedy Because they did a broken lizard. Yeah, they did a super troopers and the island What was it the there was beer fest super true? That makes sense why they're like all the same actors do oh, yeah It's their little fucking crew like that shit was fucking funny hazard the redo mm-hmm I don't know if those same people but i don't think that was yeah that was a good one they even was in that they did like the fucking reference to super troopers in it where the guy pulls them over in the fucking campus police golf cart

mother of god holy shit that was a guy loved that movie man those don't exist anymore no they don't kind of died out teen movies anything like that comedy That was a fucking funny one too that was Captain America before he was Captain America. Yeah, he was Yeah, yeah, it was where he had like a fucking crotch full of fucking whipped cream And Wilder Ben Wallace my favorite movie of all time. I really honestly I will say so much fun It was like the love story story it's like still cute Before Tara Reid broke

Oh yeah Guys look at Tara Reid I remember that girl busted She went from like A to B I had the Ben Wallace DVD and I watched that movie So many fucking times The intro song to the DVD was A sugar cold song called

Bouncing bouncing off the walls. I believe it was yeah I just because like every time the movie would end it kick it back to D You guys remember that DVD menus? Oh, yeah It would just play like a 30 second loop of something and it was sugar holds bouncing off the walls Fucking I constantly remember that that was one of my favorite movies will get that whatever that menu is stuck in your head for No, no, it's it never left Bouncing on balls is still ever in my head Yeah, I know I like the gif of the background like stops and then restart

Stopping motion. Yeah, I gotta go watch fan water again now jerking off the dog Oh, I remember the Boston cream doughnuts and then they all eat them this tastes familiar. Yeah, mm-hmm His Ryan Reynolds is just so fucking charismatic. He is everything he's in like Terrible people terrible person, but like I just didn't enjoying every second He does those his first big like every movie just Ryan Reynolds playing Van Wilder in a different role. It's Ryan Reynolds being Ryan Reynolds. Honestly, probably. Have you seen Free Guy?

Yes. Oh, my. I fucking love it. Yeah, I watched that last month. I did not know this. There's an episode of X-Files with Ryan Reynolds in it. What? Is he playing Ryan Reynolds?

No. You can't even tell his voice. If I played his voice right now, you would not recognize him. Is it a child? No, he's playing a football captain. It's fucking weird. His chunkier voice does not match Ryan Reynolds. I was like, what the fuck? He hadn't grown into his full Ryan Reynolds form yet.

No, not yet. The Canadian, the Bremen. Blade Trinity, fucked. That was a good one. I forgot about that one. Ryan Reynolds. Didn't they hate each I forgot about that one Dude Ryan Reynolds Didn't they hate each other Like Wesley Snipes

And Ryan Reynolds Like on set for that movie Like fucking hated each other Really Everyone hated Wesley Snipes During that I heard he was a cock During the last couple

Of Blades and everything Turns out he was dealing With a lot of shit With the IRS at the time Yeah One or two tax evasions Sorry Batty They took Wesley Snipes

Dragon To schools Blade Trinity was a great movie though I love That was Again that came out tax evasion. Sorry, Batty. They took Wesley Snipes' dragon skulls. Blood Journey was a great movie, though. I love that. That came out when I was growing up, though, so it was like... Those are the OG superhero movies. Think about it. That was all we had. Blade.

The OG Punisher. Oh, shit. That was a good one. Dude, the fucking dude the piercings it wasn't good by like today's standards but for like no marvel shit like no good superhero movies at the time that was pretty fucking good yeah sean travolta was the bad guy yeah that was really cool fucking the punisher also um what's his name guy that did the castlevania anime short uh or anime on netflix right now he's the one that did the original punisher youtube video oh yeah laundry yeah i know that guy yeah have you watched dirty laundry no the punisher youtube skit done by a youtuber now he's

a director director it's like 10 years after that movie came out they were trying to get it rebooted dude his thomas jane was the best punisher and they had fucking hellboy in it. Yeah Ron Perlman Even though he's a cuck on Twitter like he is such a fucking psycho on the internet. I've seen that Nut job crazy far left like any time he's like Crazy which is why Trump has a small dick What the fuck was in that red makeup This guy at the convenience store today, and he's fucking crazy, which is why Trump has a small dick. I'm like, dude, it's just chaos. What the fuck was in that red makeup? Are you okay?

Is it fucking lead based? Like, what the fuck is wrong with you? Calm down, bro. Just let it go. But yeah, if you've not watched Dirty Laundry, I'll watch that again. It's a short. It's like five minutes. Yeah, I'll watch that for this. It goes so hard

especially for YouTube back in the day you're like I'll put a link to it in the YouTube mr. Jack Daniels bottle Hey, we'll watch after bad. You're gonna look what the fuck also. I Told you guys. I don't know if I told you in the text group are the Mentos commercial, you know And then the guy beats the shit out of the girl. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I shouldn't be laughing at that, but yeah. My buddy, the creators of that,

I got a text from like three days ago, four days ago, and he's like, hey, man, what's up? I was like, John, what the fuck? He's like directing big stuff off Netflix. He's done a few docs and stuff. I bet he didn't put that on his fucking resume. No, well, the text is the best exchange because he was like, yo, did you guys talk about us on your

podcast because we got this influx of comments about unsubscribe and Eli saying this? I was like, oh, fuck yeah, man. Yeah, we talked about that. It's like when everybody suddenly remembers again that Joji was filthy Frank. Oh my god

Every fucking two years They try to cancel fucking Joji Because I sent you that video Where he's doing some appearance As Joji and somebody in the crowd yells out Hey Frank And he just goes He makes the noise

And the people around him Are just kind of like they said the thing He remembers us That's why Happy about that. He's like that lives but books does not live anymore because I take it out. All right, yeah, they took it Yeah, I was like what happened to books. He's like, but we got careers to work Books Yeah, I was like what happened to books. He's like, but we got careers to work Books John close your ears. I think it's okay to talk wait. I don't know if I can talk about it

I'll tell you after books was a hard Jounce not here. No, it's a four minute I'll ask him afterwards and then I'll text him. Did he follow me here again? He followed me. Thought I left you on the curb. He's like the fucking dog from National Lampoon with the fucking leash on the end of the bumper. It's another amazing movie. The National Lampoon movies. Those are all classics.

I keep dropping them off at the fire station, but they keep bringing them back. It's like, sir, you gotta keep him. All right, fool me once, Shane. So Books is, it starts off and they walk in It's like, sir, you gotta keep him. All right, fool me once, Shane, or you. So books is, it starts off and they walk in and a guy's reading a book. He's like, what are you doing? He's like, I'm just reading a book.

He's like, huh. You never read just a fun book? This is how you open your mind. This is how you explore the world. He's like, you know what? He's like, try it out. Read a book. So it's like, I will. And he opens it up and he starts reading. He's like, try it out. Read a book. So it's like, I will.

And he opens it up and he starts reading. He's like, then it's him writing the best. It's a four minute sequence of like all these things. Like I know where this is going. And then he closes, he walks in and he's like, and he reads the last sentence. He closes it. He's like, Zach, what'd you think? He was like, my friend, books are the greatest things I've ever explored.

Thank you so much. What do we do now? He's like, well, I'm going to go fuck a dead dog you want to watch. His heart cuts to him and Dirt Naked is like, oh, oh. He's like, you want to try? And then he sees his buddy like,

oh, oh. And that's it. I thought it was going to be like, I realize what I've been missing out on and now I have a new purpose in life. And like slams the book shut and it's mine come We can make that yeah, I just like John was like we're never running for Congress No, God, we wouldn't take the pay cut. Well, maybe the new Congress. That's the reason.

Oh, God. The pay cut. God. What did they make? Oh. Ew. No wonder they're all corrupt. Gross.

Pay them more and they won't be corrupt. Yeah. Wow. Okay. So we know publicly you've had a full-time job for 20 years making a hundred thousand dollars a year and you're worth 82 million that's weird so suspicious i have questions it's weird that nobody has questions where do these two zeros come from wow your stock portfolio has been really conveniently timed with world events. Buys and sells right at peaks and lows.

Right before announcing of stuff. Also, you get paid $2 million for speeches you didn't even show up to. Dude, I can't wait for one of us to get suicided now. It's going to happen. It's going to be me. They go after bad news. No, no, suicide did. Oh, the ED.

Yeah. Unintentional. Right? Right, guys? No. Right? Is it unintentional? I don't know now.

Get the board out. I'm actually excited to fill that board out. Yeah, me too. Well, in the new office space, when we finally get it, we're never going to get one. I got another place we're looking at. Oh, yeah? This week. You hear that, podcast crew?

We're going to look at another studio. A.K.A. Eli's going to look at another studio. A.K.A. somebody's going to send you a video of them doing a walkthrough of it. No, I'm the one that did that video of the walkthrough. Oh, you actually went there? I didn't watch the video. I watched the video. This is what I deal with.

Someone's sending you a video. That's me sending the fucking video, man. I'm probably in the fucking video saying, hey, this room is this. Oh, my. It's going to be the 17th episode in a row. Like, they still haven't gotten a studio. Been four episodes, and they say they got a studio. It's haven't gotten a studio. Been four episodes and they said they got a studio.

It'll be a lot of episodes. We don't. I just can't wait for not to perspirate during an episode. I'm going to be kind of sad if it's cold in the studio. We still grab those frozen things. They're definitely not frozen.

They're ready enough. We can do one. We'll end this. They're slurpees But you got a lot of melt a little bit before you Really the fuck's wrong with your ghetto ass freezer? It's a freezer! I hate so much. It's a freezer. I'm just gonna drink it. I don't give a shit. Alright.

How much sugar is in here? To be honest, it's not. At least it's cold. They don't show you. It contains 8% alcohol. Yeah, I'm gonna drink this. Okay. Wait, do they not have like a terror? All right scissors This is this is a lot of work friends unacceptable

Nice. I mean I'm going in really. Yeah, I mean really. Oh wait. Hold on. Hold up Same one at home. I'm just not carrying it. Tac-Pak. 50 carbohydrates. Oh, 6 carbohydrates. This is only 50 calories? These are healthy as shit. Only 50 calories and 8% alcohol? I'mma do a shooter.

This is technically better than the White Claws. Guys, let's boof them. Oh, let me get a... where's the Nike at? Cody, would you like a... Matty, Pond passes you the frozen boof. Do you accept? Are you sure you don't want a bunch of sugar? No, I want a frozen one. I don't want a liquid one. I...

Sorry. I freeze it. I know it's your fault. You fucking asshole. Like, old rich white guy over here. Wow, that tastes like it would be really good frozen Strawburritas I did a limerita I Had appeared in my life where I was I was just drinking Rita's I don't know makes sense the way

I did that with the the Natty light natter days. Do you remember those those were fucking good? Is there a peach one? No, it was like lemonade, strawberry lemonade or something. I went through a period where I was drinking a lot of Natter Days. The Natter Days were great. Actually, me and you drank a fuck ton. It was when I came to visit you. We got drunk in your kitchen. I wore a helmet. There was a photo of that.

I was slamming Natter Days. We were just crushing Natter Days. What do you think? It's not very good. It's not great. I don't know if it'll be great frozen, to be honest. It might be. Batty's freezer has a fucking sauna in it.

I mean, they're cold, Eli. They're not frozen. Batty's freezer has... It's been 45 minutes. I can't wait for Batty to shoot you. Say, hey, guys. It's been 45 minutes. Yeah, I need to shoot you Frozen pops now Cut he's still I know what you get What you get when you make 65 episodes of a podcast and constant bully you what you fucking deserve Bring out the clowns. Say hi to Batty.

He's in federal prison. You think I'd get taken alive? Brandon, he's now a host the hard way. It's just me and Brandon. You don't switch seats, you still sit side by side. Shit happened last week.

In case you haven't watched the news, something uncool happened last week. Super uncool, guys. Don't shoot your friends. We uploaded it. You still upload it? What, to live link? Yeah, age restricted. It just blurred half the episode.

Cody doesn't break down. He blurs the segment when I'm just... It's just pixelated. I look like... It's where they both die. It's just going to be you two in the middle

blurred on my side, blurred on his side, and just Cody going... It's back and forth. We're going to have to get Danny Worsen up to sing another song. Say bye to Eli.

He's dead baddie that's just the whole thing say bye to eli say bye to bad yeah that's true god who wins on the dead brand that guy was oh that's the rule though There was a there was a clause in the death pool that can't kill each other. Oh, that's fucking lame Decides to fry you that's still fair game. Yeah. No. Yeah, that's fair. That's fair Cuz you don't know how long that's got either there be appeals and like yeah, well, okay, does it have no They'll cook me. Yeah They did like a South Carolina they just shot someone by firing squad wait what yeah, they couldn't get by request

No, they couldn't get the chemical to inject them, and so they took them out back and shot them. I would rather do that. Okay, this is actually a really good last segment. Watching Death Row stuff, shit that's gone wrong, dudes got hung three times and they just gave up on it.

This is a death kind of shit. No, he got hung three different times. Every time he would go, it would mess up. So they just let him go. This was a while ago. I know. They don't hang people anymore, Eli. But they just gave up.

They're like, oh, we fucked up three times. We can't do this again because of emotional distress. I guess go back to f*** or whatever. But Shooting Squads was Request for a while and there was a dude that did it out in Not too long ago like 2000s dude Hmm I don't know I guess one guy with a blank I think some have blank some have a real I think it's one guy with a blank and then the rest have real bullets

I believe is the way it works the other way around because you don't want everyone being like I probably murdered It's less people that because I don't think they can murder or somebody to be honest is fucking stupid anyway Cuz you know you're shooting blanks Stop the hesitation. I don't know it just sucks cuz you can be like man imagine You're like you're just there and you're like oh man. Can't wait for another great day at work I don't like this job that much. Hey, you got to kill somebody today Well, that's what I'm saying. That's a lot of pressure I'm sure they have to volunteer I'm sure they have to kill a child rapist murderer

Fuck yeah, alright Woo! Best job ever I love my job They pull the guy, it's like, load, put Brandon's Yeah, he's like, oh yeah, your job is to kill pedophiles I'm like, oh fuck oh and you're paying me i'm asleep like a fucking baby yeah they had that what are the other ones because now it's just the

the needle stuff so in 1973 i want to say they had you know that year uh because i've looked this up before uh why okay well so in 19 I think it's 73, might be 74, something like that. I think it was the last guillotine execution in France. God damn. That's metal as shit, dude. They straight up cut

someone's fucking head off and I can't remember if it was like via request or whatever, but. Well, even. That seems way more humane than firing squad. Dude, I'd rather be shot,

like shot in the head. Especially like eight dudes, eight dudes fucking just like shooting you with bolt action rifles. Give me the fucking guillotine every day of the week if the guns were here if i had eight guns like here call i'm good i'm like you know what like this fucking i've seen infantrymen literally not be able to qualify on a fucking range that's what i'm saying these are meant people who are meant to be the best shot like i don't know how much you know about firing squads, but it's like, you know, face the wall at 10 feet.

It's not. That's what I'm saying. We've seen infantrymen. That's the thing. That's what I'm saying. It was worth it. Boom. My dick.

It's like a shimmy kick. A shimmy shoulder. That's what I'm saying. That's why it's way more humane if it's only one dude with the blank. Because then you get like fucking eight rounds of eight millimeter Mauser to the fucking brain basket. And it's like, okay, well, I'm done. You shot my dick. That's what I'm saying, though.

Motherfuckers that are trained to shoot for a living can't qualify on a rifle range. I don't know about prison guard number two. He doesn't have a name in the credits I don't want him shooting me Prison guard two Steve That guillotine's a piece of metal, it ain't gonna miss Do you have any last words?

Yeah, I'm still the main character But I want a guillotine here What? Just to stop like, crack, halfway through your head But I want to go in here I would be so sharp! I'll take you to the head room! Crank it up! Crank it up again! You got the fucking executioner stuck! I didn't know your head stuck! The executioner is like jumping on the fucking blade! Thank you for watching unsubscribe for a podcast! As always you have Eli Doubletap, my best friend, Donan Operator,

who loves me so much. Fuck you, Eli, and Brandon Herrera! Thank you, as always. Go away. Go away. That was the first time in this podcast I think I just, like, stopped before I was gonna make a joke.

I'm like, we've already gone way too fucking far. We found your line!