Unsubscribe Podcast - 7 - Hackers and Cheaters in Gaming

Episode Date: February 8, 2021

RANCH WATER!  We talk about Spoilers this episode. so like. be warned and stuff. Baddie is still dying, Donut's audio is good for once, Eli is still a prick. This week things hit the wild west, Mrs. Pac Man lovers, DIRTY hackers/cheaters in gaming, Mat Best's secret love of anime to spoil things for Eli, Movie/TV spoilers, DONT SPOIL STUFF, Willerz Birthday that Eli missed, annddd all the old movies that we used to watch back in the day that are older than half of our audience.  Enjoy, be gone thots.    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Kinsta. Simply better hosting. Oh, God. I'm still not drinking. My throat hurts. Big shout out to Batty. Ranch water. That's not like a bong.

I know. That's my secret power. I don't know what that sounds like. That was through police investigation. Through police investigation. Directed by Dick. Bum, bum. Batty, it's your turn to do Ranch Water.

No, it's always my turn. Every time it's my turn. I'm the only one who's not drinking. Ranch water, I love you. Thank you for everything you've done for me in my life. And- Ranch water. I'm still sick and dying.

I actually have a bit of a voice right now, which hopefully will last into the next five minutes. One portion of ranch water, Batty just drank. Water. The other portion, the great wilderness of Texas. And Cowboys. Ranch. Ranch Water.

I love Cowboys. Far West. You guys play Red Dead? Red Dead. Red Dead Redemption 2. Transition right into video games. It's a cowboy game. It's the most popular cowboy game of all time.

I don't know why since, I think because of Ranch Water, I've been watching a lot of Red Dead on Twitch recently like the Red Dead RP I need to I don't I want to play I haven't played either of them and I need to what so have you beat play have you beat it yes wait for real when it first came out

the only time Red Dead 2 yeah last week Batty just complained about not having time to play video games can I finish my story? Nope, you're a liar. The only time... The only time I've touched my Xbox One in two years was when Red Dead came out. I had to figure out how to get a capture card working.

This is when I was still in Vermont. so that i could get my xbox capture because it only released on xbox initially it wasn't on pc yet so i was like how do i i'm gonna play it cowboys and i just played the good the bad the ugly like song over and over on loop for like four hours just just and i played the fuck out of that game it was a lot of fun but the online shit wasn't out yet now that that's all here like i want to be a cowboy baby my lyrics were terrible so do you remember the the kid that got kicked off of youtube he got a strike and his video got taken down when red dev first came out because he went and he beat the feminist up on the street and then tied her behind his horse and fed her to an alligator oh my god yes

it was huge on twitter that was huge oh no no alligator thing yeah but it was like beating up a feminine that was the title and so he finds the woman in the street. She's protesting for women's suffrage. And he just beats the piss out of her and ties her behind his horse and drags her to the swamp and feeds her to the alligator. And he ended up getting a strike because of that. And the video got taken down. But they eventually put it back up because he's like, it's a video game.

And they were like, okay, just change the title. I mean, the title was asking for it it's just a little bit honest and that's the perfect transition again into ranch water and why it's amazing horses no okay cowboys hair out of regs hair gel where are you going with this what are we doing women's suffrage what this? What are we doing? Women's suffrage? What is this bit? What are we doing right now? I thought you were doing this bit.

Women's suffrage. Are you for or against it? For it. Okay, good. Wow. Because I know what it means. Okay. Because I know what it means.

I see what you did. I love watching the skits on the street where the dude goes around with the pad. And he's like, would you like to end women's suffrage? And all the women are like, yes, I would. And they sign it. Oh, honey. No way. I was glad. I was like, oh honey no i was glad i was like wait wait wait i know this eli's fucking with me ranch water it's always but like red i don't know i really just kind of want to get into the online of red dead again like i don't know i think it's because i moved to texas and i just

want to be a cowboy like in my i went to a rodeo the other week. Like, I want to be a cowboy. Yeah, we got to go cowboy shopping still. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Guys, just, do you want a photo shoot? That could be another. Yeah, yeah, that'll be a great unsubscribed photo shoot, too.

Three of us. The three amigos. I don't speak Spanish. Back Mountain. Yeah. Now you Spanish. Rope back mountain. Yeah. Now you're speaking my language, though. Ranch water. Ranch.

Can I be Jake Gyllenhaal? Or, oh, let me be Heath Ledger. I want to be Heath Ledger. And we can both be Jake Gyllenhaal? You can both be Jake Gyllenhaal. Eli told the waitress last night you were the bottom, so whatever role that is in the movie. I'm a power bottom.

He's going to be our... I am a am he's the structure to the eiffel tower let's just say that he's a pylon we're the hi-yah and he's the hi-yah y'all are fucked up all right it's like a pig on a spit what video game are we going to transition that into? Pig in a spit. Pig in a spit. I don't know. What video game does that? Did you say Pac-Man almost? Pac-Man. Pac-Man.

Because he's chomping the berries. Oh, dude, have you seen the documentary on YouTube where the guy's obsessed with Ms. Pac-Man? No. Yeah, and he has every single... He wanted to marry Ms. Pac-Man. Yeah, I think it was really weird. He had every single thing Pac-Man,

and then he was just really creepy with people there are a few of those i mean oh what was that you get to see people like that where they're like fully invested to whatever they're my strange addiction yes yeah like this is my car i fuck it you're like dude's kissing his exhaust pipe like stop it stop it exactly stop it and then it hard cuts to like the parents interview and they're just like their eyes are dead he's our son and i'll love him forever and you just see that dead in their eyes. It's like, oh, man. They're not invited to the family.

No. He's in the parking lot fucking his car. Kevin went out to the parking lot again. Dad just... Speaking of cars, Grand Theft Auto. Yeah. You guys played Grand Theft Auto. Yeah, you guys play Grand Theft Auto recently. I hear they're making six and the map looks like a dick.

Wait for real. Yeah, it's like the anatomy. If you look at the anatomy in a textbook, I don't know if it's real could have been leaked like a salad, but it's like a sack and in the roads are like the veins and stuff. Is Grand Theft Auto six actually like a thing right now? I think.

I haven't looked at it. I don't know. That got leaked and everyone spread it around. It was like, look at this map. And you're like, look at it for a second. You squint a little bit like that. It's a dick. Oh, look at that guy. That was running through Twitter.

I mean, the end of the Grand Theft Auto 5 era, that's been like 12 years. It's still going. Dude, shark cards, the money you can buy with real money in Grand Theft Auto, Rockstar never needs to make a game again. Ever. I mean, that's why they keep it going. They're still making so much money off of it. Why develop another game?

Oh, God, this game only made us $500 million this year. It's like, oh, yeah, we're good. Let's just keep this rolling. Because they spent the marketing budget on Grand Theft Auto 5 when it was announced. It's one of the most expensive games of all time. It was like $600 million or something ridiculous. That's great.

$500 or something like that. Yeah, but it was absurd. For a video game? But also had the biggest launch. Oh, it's Grand Theft Auto. Yeah. After 3, you just... 3 was like the catalyst.

It's like, we go from overhead views to Vice City. Yes. To that. Did you guys play the fuck out of Vice City? Oh, yeah. It came out when I was in the 8th or 9th grade. PlayStation 2. That was the OG one, right?

No, it was the one in Miami. It had a bunch of Scarface vibes to it. It was just... It was Scarface the game. It was Scarface. It was so great, dude. You had the cheat codes in that? You had the cheat codes? I don't even remember them.

You give me like an old... Mortal Kombat, A, B, A, C, A, B, B. There's the blood code off the top of my head. I remember some Age of Empires cheat codes off the top of my head. Some Starcraft Brood War ones. Like Age of Empires equals MC off the top of my head, some Starcraft Brood War ones. Like Age of Empires equals MC squared if you type that in the console. It would make a little car appear and a dude with like a laser missile in the back of it and he would just drive around on the map and just nuke shit.

Are you crushing your bills? Defeating your monthly payments. Sounds like you're at the top of your financial game rise to it with the bmo eclipse rise visa card the credit card that rewards your good financial habits earn points for paying your credit card bill in full and on time every month level up from bill payer to reward slayer terms and conditions apply. Age Man players, you know? There's people with tomahawks and shit, and this dude's just in a convertible like, meh, meh.

It's like, what? Oh, cheat codes. Grand Theft... StarCraft, I remember... Oh, God. What was it? Black Sheep Wall Removed the Fog of War. That was a big one. Do video games come with cheat codes built in really anymore?

Everything's online. Cheat codes are dead in games, man. We talked about that a few podcasts ago, didn't we? The Game Shark and Game Genie and all the stuff we had when we were little. Yes. Everything's online now. Everything's connected, which means you can't have those cheat codes at advantage because that means somebody's cheating and then somebody's at disadvantage.

And everyone uses exploitation now. Oh, exploits whole cheating and exploits you just become like rampant rampant I mean Cod is I mean you were telling me about a story what who got nice a nice a out of he's a professional Valorant player it's been all over Twitter recently that you that this guy got caught in an actual ranked tournament, caught cheating. Like there? I don't know if he was. It wasn't at an event, obviously. COVID, things like that aren't happening.

But he's on a professional esports team, caught cheating during the tournament while he was losing. Hey, everyone out there that cheats, I'll punch you in your fucking face. Dick. Just dick. Dick. Or vagina. Yeah. I hate cheaters.

It's ruined. We lost... Oh, my God. I just remembered this. Last night, fucking murder sesh on quads on Warzone. Yeah, on Warzone.

Murder sesh. It was me, Disaster, Lightning, and someone else. Like Cosmic Light? Morphing, yeah. And, on war zone. Murder, disaster, me, disaster, lightning, and someone else. Lightning, cosmic, what? Morphing, yeah. Cosmic lightning warrior. Four. We're all four alive,

and we're like, oh, there's literally two people left. Three teams, two people. So it's a one, one versus four, because we're all alive. I fucking mow down one. It's like, one more. We're like looking around in the circle.

I'm like, for the love of God, their stem glitching right now. now dude just out wherever he wants you can just infinite stem glitch so the gas kills us yeah and no matter what he can just he can just heal through it without having because he's got to go yeah which warzone this has been going on for a year now literally a year war zones activision again huge shout out to that small indie dev team I know like a big triple-a studio first game ever yeah I mean they have like what 10 devs max working on that probably it's really difficult for them and to limit those things yeah the money's just not there yeah only a few

million in micro transactions every single day yeah they're struggling so I know it takes time like two months three months to fix a glitch. And the same glitch has been here since a year now. Stem glitching has been a problem. And then you had like, yeah, they have so many cheats or whatever. Those are glitches. And it's just people like taking advantage of a broken system. Yeah.

It's like, oh, you're just laying there just like in the gas, just shooting yourself with health every few seconds. So you can't die. And you're on that whole fucking map. So we have no idea. We're just, like, the circle's closing. It's shrinking and shrinking. Yeah, and I'm like, well, we're going to die in three, two, one. All of us die.

And we're like, we lost a baller-ass game because dudes are glitching out wherever the hell. Dude, hacking in, like, God, what's the word? Battle Royale games has been like since PUBG. Holy shit, the hacking in PUBG or COD or whatever your fucking Battle Royale style game, Fortnite even. It's just like you see people just flying on the map or your aimbot hacks.

It's like, why hacking him what is the point of hacking in a multiplayer game like honestly do you who do you brag to where you're like fuck yeah bro hey did you check out my sweet dub play you're you're glitching out in the middle yeah but it's a fucking a win's a win bro yeah ha and you're like oh my even though even more now you step that up into the competitive yeah but it's a fucking a win's a win bro yeah huh and you're like oh my even that even more now you step that up into the competitive level whether it's valorant cs go warzone whatever call of duty doesn't matter your fucking pick your poison like why would you cheat you're gonna get caught look literally you're gonna get fucking caught no matter what you're gonna i mean even if you don't get caught like how small is your dick gotta be to jerk off to that like that's my win as your fucking aim button

fucking through smoke at people like what's where does why if you want to see some like good compilations on on youtube look up twitch streamers caught cheating oh where they're like they'll accidentally show their cheating overlay where it shows where people are on the map and they're just like there's that chick yeah yeah they panic and they try to like hide it real quick and they're like, they'll accidentally show their cheating overlay where it shows where people are on the map and they're just like, oh, yeah, they panic and they try to like hide it real quick. And they're like, oh, wait, who was on my computer today? What the F was that? I can't remember this girl.

She said she said a name and it became a meme for the longest time. Sarah was on my PC earlier. She must have installed a virus. Dead eyes. After a headshot. You just see her hand slowly reach the power button and shot off the stream. It's like, what happened? No, at first she started like, wait, does anyone

ever get that glitch where you can just see all the players on the map through the walls? Weird. So crazy. And then you can see her panicking slightly and then she opens the console. She's like, what is this, Close? Who was Sarah on my computer? I told her not to put these things on.

What did you do? Yeah, doesn't she pull out her phone? I'm testing her now. What did you? Oh, man. Like, why cheat in a competitive sense? like what what do you really gain out of that i don't know how you could stream and do it like streaming because that would be my biggest fear would be like getting caught and those a lot of those cheaters on every platform you're looking

at and again activision hey what's up it's't fap. If you could not make fucking Warzone free, charge $5 to $10 for the game. So then when... They don't ban my keys. They just ban the account. So you can just make a new account. And that's all people... You're like, oh, this dude, he's level 12.

And, oh, he's going 38 and 0 right now. He's really just carrying his team. Definitely not cheating. And you're just seeing him like... You can tell cheaters on Warzone because they just run out by the game mechanics and how they play. They're just like running out. Zero fear. Middle of the field, open. All of a sudden, guns out.

It's like, hey, what's a container? Okay, he's dead. He's 400 meters away. Dead. And they're like, what the fuck? Shroud Jr., he killed me three nights ago. Who's Shroud Jr.? Literally, I don't know.

That was the username. I spawned in. Popped my parachute because I went gulag. I'm like, cool. I'm fucking ready. I'm coming. Where am I going? Got...

Shroud Jr. And then it goes to their cam. And you see Shroud Jr.'s character. He's like looking straight with his RIM 700. He's like... Snap. Fires. Just snap fires i'm not even visible yet it just snaps headshot in a parachute dead i was like well cool man you can always see that tarkov has this issue with hackers as well obviously because for the longest time they're like we're gonna use our in-house anti-cheat system and that didn't work but they do these like you know they give out trial codes or they do these discount weekends and you're like every time there's a discount on the game

there's a trial code or a free weekend or what the fuck ever the influx of we call them white names because in the in the game there are uh your basic account or your trial account anything like that has a white name in the game most honestly at this point it feels like most players have what's a gold name or an eod a special edition of the game because Most, honestly at this point, it feels like most players have what's a gold name or an EOD, a special edition of the game, because you've paid a little bit more for a special colored name, whatever. Most people that play the game have that at this point it feels like. But you see an in- Whether it's a family member, friend, or furry companion joining your summer road trip, enjoy the peace of mind that comes with Volvo's legendary safety. During

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or go to volvocars.ca for full details. Folks have these white names, random letters and numbers in the name. You're like, I'm about to volvocars.ca for full details. Folks with these white names, random letters and numbers in the name, you're like, I'm about to get fucking murdered in this lobby. Or you'll be just fucking running through the woods as long as you get snapped and you're dead. And on your kill screen, it's like,

there's a white name with just, looks like somebody smacked their face off the keyboard four times and that's the name. It's like, there's that fucking random idiot's account for the day. Like, fucking. It sucks. I don't think we're we'll ever be able to get past cheaters they're always going to find a way into our online games what's your worst experience with them with cheaters yeah probably some tarkov stuff man people speed hack and shit on there oh god i haven't seen that tarkov that'd be oh yeah it

used to be i haven't seen a lot of speed hacking lately, but it used to be. Not this way, but a few weeks back when you played a lot. It was really, really bad. People just zipping across the map. You'd just be like, what the? They'd appear in front of you. You'd just pop your gun or something. Yeah, yeah. Okay.

There was one in Targa for a while where they would throw grenades, and they would just appear at your feet. Like, the grenade would just drop at your feet. It didn't matter where they were fucking throwing it we call this god uh you're getting aborted grenade it's like what the borderlands you ever play borderlands they have the grenades on there where they teleport it's like that yeah but in tarkov god that was awful for a while there was a loot hacks where people could take all of your equipment out of your bag. You'd open your inventory.

You'd just see stuff getting dragged out of your inventory. It would just disappear. You would watch it slowly disappear. While you're playing? Yeah. Not dead. Alive. Basically, a hacker would just wait on one part of the map.

Wait for people to loot the map. They'd put in their bullshit. Then all of a sudden, you'd open your inventory. You're like, where'd my helmet go? Wait, the gun in my bag just disappeared. You're watching it happen. I just, oh,

the poor guys that had that mid-fire fight were like, okay, guys, we're gonna go left My gun's gone. Three, ready, one, two, gone.

Straight up, there's videos of people like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, and the grenade like, disappears and he throws it and he's like,

no. Dude, straight up up Because this was before Your hatchet and stuff Couldn't be looted So people would be there They'd be on the ground In labs or something On this one

Really hardcore map And there was a team Being like Man my gun just disappeared Hold on We got a hacker We got a hacker He's coming

My gun's gone too And the next thing The guy's got his hatchet In his hands And they're just like What do you do You know like see i wouldn't i didn't mind exploiting uh labs back when labs first came out but when you didn't have to pay to get into labs you didn't and you run in with the tt with no gear and you run straight to the kitchen and you would just shoot them through

the little the raiders yeah yeah did you do that? Absolutely. The Mosin or the TT? Yeah. Dude, Freddy taught me that. That's how you make money. Bro, we would just go there and just wait. He's like, okay, get everyone's attention. We'd be in the kitchen, doors closed, and you're just like, shoot them through the door holster.

And you're like, oh, loot everything, leave, good to go. Got a gnarly kit out of it. Some extra stuff. Oh, man. Have you watched Summit play recently? You were saying, what's that like? Yeah, it's insane. Because it's him and Landmark, I think, who have been doing it.

And they'll go into labs, and they'll kill every player easily, and then they'll just farm the raiders. And I think they spawn infinitely, right? You can go back and forth, and they keep spawning. For a while, yeah. Yeah, they spawn for a long time. Until the map ends at that point. And so they'll just farm the raiders. And I think they spawn like infinitely, right? You can go back and forth and they keep spawning. For a while, yeah. Yeah, they spawn for a long time. Until the map ends at that point. And so they'll just go in.

There's a couple waves. Yeah, they'll just go in and go around the map, kill everyone. Because there's only a set number of players. They don't respawn. And then they have just free reign to kill every raider that spawns. No scavs, no player scavs or anything like that. So once all the players are dead, nothing but AI on the map. And then you can just farm.

No doubt. And they just make millions and millions per raid. That's the best way. I mean, that's literally the best way to make money in that game. Yeah. For those of you that aren't familiar with Tarkov, the labs map, what Batty was saying,

it's like the hardest map there is because there's raiders, which are like hardcore AI in the game on there. You used to be able to get into labs for free, but now you got to pay between like, it's like 200 000 like 250 or something like that you have to buy a special key card from like one of the vendors and not not with real money like in-game money of course and that's like your entrance fee to get

into the map one time then the card disappears but used to like eli was saying we go in for free with a little pistol and just kill all the big bad guys and get out with tons of gear but it's not like that anymore yeah you'd have like the best gear in the game at that point and you just do that i remember they released it at like the beginning of a wipe too so it was like it just broke the entire patch because at that point it was like normally like early wipe and tarkov they wipe the entire game everybody goes back to having no money shit tier gear level one and early web is usually a lot of fun because at that point people aren't running the best guns in the end they don't have the best armor and so you're running around like shitty

pistols and ak's and mosins and shit like that and that's like where the fun is in that one patch it was so bad because you just jump into labs pop a raider who's kitted head to toe m4 60 round mags doing all this crazy shit and it's like well suddenly levels don't fucking matter anymore no and they used to because you had the strafe glitch oh you just you fucking you would strafe if you were around that corner if you just strafed peakers yeah the peakers advantage but they couldn't see you back in that first they're just like look and they just stare at you, and you're like, clack. So, yeah, another unfortunate thing about Tarkov is desync. Their network is not good. It's been so bad lately.

Oh, it's been awful lately. At times, you know, you figure from what you're seeing on your game or what I'm seeing on my game or what an enemy's seeing can be like a 3 to 12-second delay. 12 seconds in a in a competitive shooter think of how far you can move in like csgo we're talking you're going through the double doors you're down long a you're already around the fucking corner when that other dude has already shot you 18 times like he's not dying he's not dying but on his screen you're still back at the other end like and that's that's how bad it can be like on average it's a couple seconds at times. Which is wild that it's still a thing four years later.

I don't know when they're going to fix that, man. The game's been four years in the making now, though. It's been longer than that, I think. Has it been? Yeah. It's starting to get really, really good, though. I mean, this has been one of the best patches and wipes we've had in a long time you know like definitely you know giving kudos to battle state games for that but like

hugh that netcode bro hi nikita batty and i want in-game items just throwing that out there beard and like a donut we can munch and flip-flops for eli you don't play anymore you know there's sandals and socks in the game. Now there's you. There's a skivas. It's a scav with sandals and socks. I like it. He was in.

Yeah. Do that for me. Nikita. I play again. They will. If you give if you have Eli flip flops, I play that game at least two days a week. Not like me every day for the last ever.

That's why you choose me, because I do have a life. I definitely don't. No, you play a lot. Both of you just live in that Tarkov life now. Yeah, I've been on a card the past couple weeks since the wipe, man. I'm like, ooh. I'm like, C like cod and then we played tarkov finally one time and you're like we're gonna play again we're gonna play and then

tonight are you okay well maybe play i'm probably gonna take a couple days off of streaming because i i tend to yell too much when i stream and what my this whole throat infection and bronchitis thing kind of kicked my ass mono The mono is taking you out. You want to make out later? No, that's John's job. That is... We need to cut that out. That needs to go away.

Oh, quick. Just quick. While I'm thinking about it, got the text. Happy birthday to Mr. Willers. Billiam. Billiam is 22 years old today. What a fucking childers. Billiam. Billiam is 22 years old today. What a fucking child. Old Billiam. I feel old now.

Follow him on Twitch. Yeah, I just felt real old. He's like 20 years older than that or something. His first system was like the PS3. Yeah. I can't even picture that. I always think that's a good indicator of somebody's age. What was your first system?

Oh, the PS4. And you're like, Huh? I am your father. Go to your room. It was like Clinton Jones. I was like, What was your first system?

He's like, Nintendo 64. I was like, You sweet summer child. You like you sweet summer child you sweet sweet summer child it's the summer big red sale canadian tire save up to 50 what are you doing these are the biggest deals of the season i'm shouting it from the rooftop you have a radio ad you don't need to be up there the summer big red sale is on from june 5th to june 12th conditions apply details online oh okay what is the next topic that we wrote down because we're gonna not make a natural transition right now and

just force this transition i mean or we could have a pretty natural transition so we were talking about cheaters hackers tarkov right yeah grand theft auto we talked about that as well yeah cheaters hackers everything grand theft auto who made grand theft auto rock star what they made Yeah, yeah, yeah. Grand Theft Auto. We talked about that as well. Yeah. Cheaters, hackers, everything in Grand Theft Auto. Who made Grand Theft Auto? Rockstar. Rockstar. You know what they made? Red Dead 2.

You want to know the ending of Red Dead 2 even though you haven't played it? I'll spoil that shit right now. No. We're not doing it. Oh. Boom! Oh, I already know this transition. Boom.

I'm good. Spoilers in games. Like, what's the cutoff? No, spoilers in general, Batty. Okay. Fuck you if you do spoilers. Fuck you. How old is Aerith Dyes? You're welcome.

I saw a comment on her YouTube video. It was like, spoilers. There's a time frame on spoilers. How old is Red Dead 2 now? I don't know. It's two years. It's two years old? Really?

I mean, 2019, right? I was still in Vermont. It was 2019 because it wasn't last year because I wasn't a Twitch partner I don't believe when I played it yeah it might be that old what is the time frame on spoilers and in general

fuck you for spoilers like if it's a good ass show you should still not like if it's your friend and you're recommending something he dies in the end of breaking bad yeah you don't do that wow you're just going oh so was he he said he he dies at the end i mean that's technically good but if you're suggesting a show like if i go up to baddie i was like baddie you should watch star wars it's fucking great you're dude this twist

when vader you find out vader is luke's dad's gonna Dude, this twist when Vader, you find out Vader is Luke's dad is going to blow your mind. That is not how you get your friend hooked on a series. Period. Because you just gave away the big fucking hook. You had a good point. What's the time frame on that though? Because I think we're safe in saying Vader is the father. In general.

In general. But I'm like, Batty, have you ever seen Star Wars? Now, Batty has never watched Star Wars in his life. No. He's not a nerd. He's a have two star wars tattoos stop it the internet will get mad at me like he's a fake nerd he's not what stop it okay live long and prosper may the force be with you i'm gonna read wait is it may the force be or it's may the force be with you. I'm going to re. Wait, is it may the force be or it's may the force be with you? I forget. It's something like that.

It's one of those two. It's one of those two. You should stop. What is the time frame, though? And. I'm going to cut. Yeah, so, like, I don't know, like, Red Dead 2. Two years.

But you can't tell. Like, now I don't want to know because you know I'm going to play it. So you better not fucking say the ending otherwise i'll i suddenly just i have power now i'll ruin attack on titan for you that's how you take power away ladies and gentlemen right there look at back he's like i'm gonna say this the amount of anime and other shows like that I've ruined for myself. Cause like what you did on the wiki. Yeah.

Like you, you get caught up to wherever you end or you're like, you realize you have like a hundred episodes to go and you're like, I ain't got time for this. Wiki up. Who's his dad? Like what are the Titans? You're like that, that shit. I stay away from the internet. I definitely did that for attack on Titan.

Cause it was, yeah, That was years ago, man. I jumped in there and kind of looked up where the Titans came from and how they're made and who they are and who's Titan and all that stuff. And mistakes were made. That's right. You're like, oh, God, I screwed up. I screwed up. I cannot be. I have to stay back. When spoilers come out, I screwed up. I screwed up. I cannot be.

I have to stay back. When spoilers come out, I just wait. I'm like, nope. I'm taking a break. I'm stepping back. If an episode comes out, I'm like, I don't want to ruin this on chance. I won't get on Reddit. I only follow like 300 people on Instagram.

So most of those people do not watch anime in general. I know Matt Best is not going to ruin Attack on Titan for me. I'm going to text Matt to try to get him to ruin some anime for you. Just because it would be so fucking out of the blue. Matt, post this on your story. This is a main post

for Matt? He just did a YouTube video about this. He doesn't even do Attack on Titan breakdown videos. Dear Eli. God, man. For movies, though, what's the worst spoiler you've had? Oh, should I even say the spoiler?

What if people haven't seen it? Logan, the movie Logan. No, that's fine. That's, yeah. Logan's old at this point. You're allowed to say it. If you haven't seen the movie Logan, the Wolverine, the old man Wolverine movie,

go watch it. Spoilers right now. Spoiler alert. Have you seen the new movie Logan? Wolverine dies in the end. You're like, huh? Oh, well, thank you for that. You just ruined everything at once.

Destroyed the movie for, yeah. Oh, God. I'm trying to think what the worst spoiler for me was. I think it might have been one of the new Star Wars movies. Which one? What happened? We might have had the same one. I know what you're talking about.

Was it the newest one? Again, spoilers alert. I saw it on Twitter. I think I know what you're talking about. The very end. We got spoiler alert. People were spamming it. This is your fault if you... The Paline connection with ray and yes yeah that was probably

one of the like because a lot of people shit on these new movies i don't care i love star wars i don't care if it's bad or it's good i will take star wars on the big screen every day of the week whether it's the original trilogy the sequel the ogs i don't care don't care. I love it all. Even if it's stupid, palpatine, I don't give a fuck. I'm going to watch. I'm going to love it. And somebody spoiled it for me

and I was so angry. So angry. I was a very angry boy. Oh, I just thought of my best one. I was in line waiting for the last Harry Potter book at Barnes and Nobles and someone drove by

and screamed, spoiler, spoiler alert, spoiler alert, Snape dies in the end and there's like there's like 200 people stand outside and I was I was there waiting for hours to get the new Harry Potter book and someone did that to me. Yeah, that is

a book spoiler. That's like some George RR Martin Game of Thrones level shit. Well, I read stories about like people walking out of so angry still angry about about the ending. That's the thumbnail right there, that face. Because I still go back to... I was reading stories about people walking out of

What the Empire Strikes Back and people walking out of that OG 1978. When did that come out? 80. 80s. The original was like 77, yeah some shit and the next one was like the like 80 81 dude walking out would be like man vader's death is crazy just being in line you're like i'm gonna hold the front door when did this happen just being like so upset

about that i don't know like that's that's one thing about streaming that's hard though like when something big's happening like marvel movies endgame spoilers iron man fucking dies right yeah because the chat will get in the people will troll and just get in the chat they'll be like they'll make brand new accounts on twitch just to join in and be like this happens so you have to like unfortunately for your mods this is like has to be in there not even nightbot dude your mods unsung heroes of twitch because these motherfuckers are the ones banning these messages

a lot of the time before the streamer themselves sees it. Or you can put little delays so your chat won't even see it. But your fucking mods are getting spoiled. These bastards.

God bless all of your souls for protecting us from the worst spoilers in movies and gaming and whatever. But they get shit ruined you can put in like keywords like a lot of the time when a new movie's coming out like i'll block the phrase marvel or something like that that's a good so they come in immediately they

can't type half their sentences a lot of the times they'll just fucking leave because that alone it's like oh already too much effort for my low effort trash meme. I will say I waited two weeks to watch the Avengers the final one. Endgame. Endgame it was like I had a week or two where I didn't and I stayed off the internet. I was like I'm just not turning on my phone

not going on anything right now because I want this a clean slate going in. How did you survive that? I saw it the night it came out. Someone put it on Twitter. Oh, you saw it. The ending, yeah, man.

People are brutal. I don't go on Twitter, though. I have to for work, man. I don't know. I live on Twitter. Yeah, I work off of there. That's where most of my content from my main channel comes from. Oh, yeah.

And I also have 38 followers. I'm't know. I live on Twitter. Yeah, I work off of there. That's where most of my content from my main channel comes from. Oh, yeah. And I also have 38 followers. I'm following 38. My Twitter feed. All my feeds are really dead, actually, now that I think about it. It's like Twitter's really bad. Because it's like I hit scroll. Get unlimited grocery delivery with PC Express Pass. Meal prep delivered.

Snacks delivered. Fresh fruit delivered. Grocer grocery delivery on repeat for just two dollars and 50 cents a month learn more at pcexpress.ca up and it's like you guys like oh that's okay that's about it right there and uh twitter's done okay i've browsed twitter's like a cesspool but like it's like a drug like it's bad for me. I know it, but motherfuck if I ain't having fun. Let's see who's getting canceled today. Fuck, man. God, I hate spoilers.

Some people just found out on Twitter. This is coming back full circle. I love it. It does this every couple years that Robert Downey Jr. did Blackface and Tropic Thunder. And so they were just finding that out. No, it happens every couple years, though. Yeah, it just rolls back around. I guess kids that finally discovered old movies exist, and they get on, they're like,

Robert Downey Jr. did Blackface. So there were people complaining about that on Twitter yesterday. That was pretty funny. There's been a couple interviews with him where they're like, this movie could not have been made a year later. Tropic Thunder is one of my favorite movies of all time loaded lock boys and we land follow motherfucker yeah everything about it i'm a dude playing a dude dressed as another dude and you're like this is comedy amazing it is every part of it the entire

movie start to finish is like do you remember going into theaters to see Tropic Thunder and seeing the fake commercials in the beginning of it? So good. Fucking busting up bar and, like, booty sweat. Booty sweat. Just to make them say booty sweat. Booty sweat. Booty sweat. Booty sweat.

And then that dude's gay. Oh, yeah. Robert Downey Jr. and Tobey Maguire. Oh, yeah. And then the next commercial. Yeah, they're the monks. It was called... Satan's Alley. Satan's All They're like, it was called Satan's Alley. Yeah, I would love Satan's Alley.

I would love Satan's Alley. The music is all sexual and it's like low tone. It's like, you've been a very bad, bad boy. It's like, whoa. So, Booty Sweat, the fatties. Oh, yeah, with Jack Black. Was it Klump's or is that the real one? That's the real one.

That's the real one is the Klump's and the movie one was fatties. The fatties and like just farting. I was like, oh, with Jack Black. Was it Klumps, or is that the real one? That's the real one. That's the real one is the Klumps, and the movie one was Fatty's. It was Fatty's, and they're just farting. I was like, oh, this is so good. Jack Black is a national treasure. What would they call the one the movie's for? It was like Firegeddon or Armageddon. Oh, it was like number eight, though. Yeah.

And then finally it went to the other one, Ice Age. Oh, what was it? God, I can't even. Was it Scorched other one, Ice Age. What was it? God, I can't even. Scorched? It was literally scorched. It was just scorched. He's going to destroy the world to save it. Scorched 8.

What the fuck? Looks like it's a little cold today. What was the last time? There's no movies like that anymore like god no you can't yeah will ferrell like blades of glory any of that stuff there hasn't been a good just raunchy comedy period i'm trying to think of the last one i can't do you remember do you remember the era of like american pie like not another Movie. Those movies, again, are we too old?

Let me just point out, that's when Will was born. When American Pie 1 came out around that time period. The whole poor billion. We're old. That was like 2000, 1999, 2000, right? Yeah. Those people are 21. When old Bill was born.

Van Wilder. Van Wilder was good. Classic. God, see, they don't have any... Are we just old or they just not make those anymore? Does National Lampoon do movies anymore? Because that was what Van Wilder was. That was a National Lampoon movie. No, it wasn't. No, it wasn't.

Was it? I don't think so. I'd have to look that up. We you got the power on doing it right now we're pulling that up Van Wilder was back before Tara Reid broke yeah she was decently attractive at that I had that movie on DVD

and what would happen I watched it so many times that was like my nightly ritual movie because there was a great couple pairs of tits in it. And when you're that age, like, duh. Just like American Pie. Exactly. So what would happen is the movie would finish. Shannon Elizabeth. Yeah.

Yeah. The movie would finish and the song, motherfucking bouncing, oh God, Sugar Coal cult was the theme song for van wilder and that song is burned into my memory it's on my stream playlist now and every time it comes on i'm just like van wilder i want to go back and watch that now man there's so many good what was the one with i actually watched this recently because i haven't watched like one of those teen adult watching yeah it was um with jennifer love hewitt is the guy that was the nerd he was trying I actually watched this recently because I haven't watched one of those teen adult coming out. Yeah, it was with Jennifer Love Hewitt. It's the guy that was the nerd.

He was trying to confess his love to her through a note. It's a recent one? No, this is, again, when we were growing up. Oh, why can I not? Preston is the guy. Why do I remember the name? And I can't remember. And then Jennifer Love Hewitt. And I don't know her name in it. I just know her

as Jennifer Love Hewitt. You've had to watch this. I'm sure I have. He's like wrote a note and it's like the high school party. It's the last time you can tell her you love her and come out. It's like every teen movie ever. Why can't I remember the name for this yeah in the

comments please save eli for this don't look it up don't look it up don't look it up you don't get to know anymore it's gonna be i just want you to just suffer for the next seth green in it oh man uh euro trip no no he wasn't in europe i was about to say euro trip though that's weird it's the same it's the same style of movie. Like, American Pie, Euro Trip. Those don't... Broken Lizard movies. Oh, yeah.

Super Trooper. Shout out to Super Troopers. Oh, yeah. Love Super Troopers. Vermont, what up? Beer... What is it? Beer Fest.

Beer Fest, yeah. Dude, that's got the best character transition in any movie. My brother, Landfill, died chugging beer i'm his twin brother i would really appreciate if you guys would just call me landfill as well in his honor character dies reintroduce character same name you're like this is a plot development right this is brilliant writing brilliant for real it was awesome it was fucking hilarious you you could never have that happen now like that style of comedy like slapstick comedy it's i feel like it's gone i found your movie title what is what's it start with oh man what's it start with can't huh starts with can't can't make this up can't break can't can't point break how do you

feel when you look at me can't fat ginger can't fat oh my god how'd you guess that what is it what is it can't hardly wait can't hardly wait Oh that hard Can't hard Can't flaccid wait What is it I can't flaccid I'm gonna slash your tires I can't ginger fuck right now Can't ginger fuck

That's our word Thank you You guys aren't gingers You don't get to say it Can't hardly wait You remember that Yes I've gingers. You don't get to say it. Can't hardly wait. You remember that? Yes! I don't remember the name of it, but I remember the movie. Oh, you have to watch it.

I'm going to have to watch it. Can we have a binge night of Van Wilder and Tropic Thunder? Also on our stream, we could do a watch party if they're on Amazon for Amazon Prime people. So we could watch it with all of our people. This is just a side throw off of another podcast. So they watch one of those style of movies.

Whether it be Can't Hardly Wait or Blades of Glory. And they watch it every time for each podcast. And then they have to do a breakdown. So it's like episode 700. And they're like, so watch the movie. And they're just like so painful. And they're just so miserable about it.

I never noticed his eyes are so blue. You know, they're like new details that they've never seen before. Robert Downey Jr. He's got his contacts out and he has beautiful blue eyes. You're like, God, watching a bad movie every time, you're just like,

yep, that'll do the trick. Yeah, we need to do an Amazon stream party with Camp Party. There's got to be some of these movies

have got to be on there. Yeah, for sure. I bet all of them are on there. I don't know. I don't think I've ever searched for something

on Amazon that wasn't there movie-wise. It can be any movie on Amazon. I don't know. Maybe it searched for something on Amazon. It wasn't there, movie-wise. It can be any movie on Amazon. I don't know. Maybe it's only the Amazon Prime ones. I don't know.

We'll circle back to that. Not another teen movie. Oh, that was a good one. What's her name? Lacey Chabert. Lacey Chabert, if you're out there. What's up? For real?

Yeah, that was my crush growing up. Okay. You know who that is, right? It's the girl from, I mean, not in your dream. Lost in Space. What? She was the chick in Lost in Space 2? Yeah, and Party of Five.

Oh, man. Dude, Lost in Space. Whatever happened to that fucking movie? It was set up for the perfect sequel, and then it just... That was like another 2000s, 99 movie, right? Exactly. And it was like, boom, here we are. And that was growing. I was like,

oh, this is my crush. And that's what started that crush. And then it just stayed for a long period of time. It's still there. It's right here. I don't remember that movie. Lost in Space? It was with Danger Will Robinson. Oh, okay.

I got you. Heather Graham. When she wasn't doing showing her naked body. What was that movie? With Marky Mark when he shows his dick. Oh, Deuce Bigelow.

I think that is... Oh, wait. No, no, no. You know what I'm thinking wait, you know what? They get about Rob. You know what? I'm thinking about Dirk Diggler.

It was one about boogie nights with Rob Schneider. I said Mark, you Mark Rob Schneider. Just shows his mammoth dick old hung Rob

Schneider. Rob Schneider is a giant car Schneider in Schneider is a giant cock Rob Schneider in Deuce Bigelow It always comes back to dicks doesn't it No matter what we talk about Cock

Oh Boogie Nights That's it I don't know if I've seen Boogie Nights But you haven't? I don't think I have Heather Graham like skates No she just like walks She's like okay it's my scene And and just drops trowel and top.

Yeah, you go from literally lost in space to PG teen kids movie, and you're like, hi, I'm Heather Graham. Hard cut right to that, and you're like, hello, Heather Graham. Puberty. Exactly. to that and you're like hello Heather Graham puberty exactly except for Will because he was one when that movie came out yeah he was shout out to Billiam again shout out to Billiam

everyone go say hi to Willers on Willers on Twitch or any of his platforms and say happy birthday and tell him he's got a nice cock I say belated birthday because we're doing this on a Thursday. You guys get this on Monday. No, just say happy birthday.

It doesn't fucking matter if you watch this in December, fucking September. Just go fuck with his shit. Go tell him happy birthday for us. Yeah, he deserves that. God. His birthday.

That was a weird rant just going from spoilers to now. Rob Schneider's dick into Heather Grampus. Good transition, Devin. Yes, you're welcome. It's with Marky Mark's dick. Deuce Bigelow.

The Lion King? Star Wars. No, these are all very wrong. Star Whores. Star Whores. Do you remember Zack and Mary Make a Porno? I haven't watched that. There's a scene in that movie with Seth Rogen where I look identical to him back when my

hair was all long. Because I used to have like, it wasn't like this long, but it was like curly and long and my beard was short. There's a gif where somebody did a face swap of me with it in the actual scene. It's the same fucking face. I used to show my friends as a joke at work and they'd be like oh that one's you i'm like that's seth rogan bro yeah when my beard's short it's terrifying uh i love that movie you gotta watch it man they because the porno they make is called star horse

oh my god that's gonna be star wars themed it's really good. Speaking of spoilers, are we allowed to spoil the movie now? Seth Rogen dies in the end. She is his father. Yeah. Now I don't know if this is true. Now I'm just, this is the best spoilers because now I'm like, my friends could be fucking with me. So I'm going to just go in thinking he dies. Anything that's about to happen, like a knife enters the scene,

I'm like, here it comes. Here's a gun. Here it comes. He's out of breath. He's going to happen like a knife enters the scene like here it comes he's out of breath he's gonna have a hard attack fingers going on here me just waiting here it is here it is on my couch it's like attack on titan we were speaking in code in front of donut yeah because of the spoilers that called up yet i know how hard did you make it um so i watched the first season and a half like years ago, and I'm about to finish the first season. I'm re-watching everything. Because, dude, y'all were geeking out so bad, and I just want that feeling. I want that anime feeling.

Bro, so when we were at lunch just before this, we were like, Just word vomit. Real hard. The fourth season of Attack on Titan is holy holy fuck y'all need to go watch it right now get caught up it's so good you sit up in your chair like as i was saying like i haven't had a tv show on that you are like i was laying down chilling i was like yo this is set up on my couch i was like what the fuck is going on? Oh, my God.

And then episode. And it's I'm like, one more week. I got to wait a week because bad is now experiencing that because he didn't have to deal with because I binged watched one through three, which is all on Hulu so that you can just keep going. Keep going. Keep going. I didn't realize the fourth season is on a weekly release right now. So they're on episode eight, I believe. I think nine comes out tomorrow.

Yep. Or Monday. Oh, so they're just now slowly releasing. It's just coming out. Oh, I got to get called up now. And this is the final season too. Yeah. No shit.

Yeah. It's not like there's a season five. This is it. It ends. Yeah. Definitely getting called up. It's so fuck. It goes hard.

I don't do a lot of anime. I did a lot of the old school anime. Your Triguns, your Cowboy Bebops, shit like that. Your old school Toonami. But holy shit if this didn't suck me in hard, man. It's so good. It's like, this show's like ReZero where everything ends on a cliffhanger, unfortunately. Isn't there another season of ReZero that just came out?

Yeah, it just started. Just started? Is that what it was? They did half of the last season and now they're doing the last half. Those episodes right now are really, really good.

Best Girl Ren. All those shows. That's why I love anime. Minus how they end. On that cliff note, Batty, close this out. Cliffhanger. Cliffhanger. Cliffnote.

Ranchwater. Cliffnote. Ranchwater. Batty, close this out. Snape dies. That's gonna be it. Oh, shit, uh go uh youtube watch the videos subscribe uh unsubscribe podcast spotify amazon google play uh what's the other one stitcher castro pod bean what is that i don't i don't know these are all the places you can listen to our podcast okay so put them there follow those make sure you leave a review for us. It really helps. It'd be great.

Yeah. The three people on Castor Bean, thank you. I don't even know what that platform is. Spotify. Just go leave a comment on our YouTube about Eli's wonderful pecs. Thank you.

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