Unsubscribe Podcast - 70 - LOVE, WARIO & ANDREW TATE ft. Che Durena
Episode Date: September 7, 2022I DONT KNOW WHAT TO WRITE HERE CAUSE I MISSED THIS EPISODE BUT I WAS TOLD BY THE BOYS IT WAS SPICY!! ENJOY!! FOLLOW CHE YOU IDIOTS! https://www.instagram.com/chedurena/?hl=en ------------------------...------ OUR MERCH: https://www.bunkerbranding.com/pages/unsubscribe-podcast JOIN THE PATREON NOW: https://www.patreon.com/UnsubscribePodcast WE HAVE A SUBREDDIT??? https://www.reddit.com/r/UNSUBSCRIBEpodcast/ CHECK OUT https://outofregz.com/ CODE: UNSUB http://gfuel.com/discount/baddie CODE: BADDIE ------------------------------ WHERE TO LISTEN Spotify https://spoti.fi/2Ye8YOU Apple Podcasts https://apple.co/3cbqY4k Amazon https://amzn.to/2YbzQia Google Play https://bit.ly/2YcWmaD Stitcher https://bit.ly/3cbnY8o MORE LINKS! https://linktr.ee/UnsubscribePodCast ------------------------------ Follow the Cast of Unsubscribe -Baddie- @Baddie Streams https://www.twitch.tv/baddie https://twitter.com/BaddieStreams https://www.instagram.com/baddiestreams/ https://www.youtube.com/baddiestreams -DonutOperator- @Donut Operator @Operation Donut https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwkm_Wcyh0pc7UUmZZfL-6w https://www.instagram.com/donutoperator/ https://www.twitch.tv/DonutOperator https://twitter.com/DonutOperator -Eli_Doubletap- @Eli Doubletap https://www.instagram.com/eli_doubletap/ https://www.twitch.tv/Eli_Doubletap https://twitter.com/Eli_Doubletap https://www.youtube.com/c/EliDoubletap ------------------------------ Edited by Fluck https://www.twitch.tv/fluck twitchcon 2022 reaction Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Shane's diet coke.
I didn't even know they make diet cokes
in a tall can. Yeah, well Shane
Smith drinks like 47 a day.
Holy shit.
Yeah, he goes through a 24
case a day. 24 case a day?
Shane Smith is big. Yeah, he's going to a 24 case a day 24 case a day Smith is big
Yeah, he's gonna lose some limbs or something or brain cells that there's no way that's good for you
I think he's going to give birth to a kidney stone. Yeah, that's exact. That's what's gonna happen
That's what's gonna happen. Oh not to this day. He hasn't do I have everything I feel like I'm forgetting something sound is good
Brandon's over there. Yeah, hi.
Is the mic working?
Yeah.
The mics are on.
Brandon's mic is working.
Everybody seems to be.
Cody's talking.
I like it.
We're here.
Minorities are all here.
White person.
I'm the minority.
Say hi to Eli.
It's racially ambiguous, buddy.
That guy's fucking ridiculous.
Donut. Hey guys, thanks for watching unsubscribe podcast. Make sure wherever you're listening or watching, whether it's on YouTube, Castro, Spotify,
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And we want to make Donut and Eli happy today.
Yeah.
Five stars on everything and a comment if there is possible because we need to be at the top.
Don't say something motivating.
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Come subscribe.
Hi, everyone.
Minority Donut here.
I'm joined today by Brandon Herrera, Che Dorena, and as always, Eli, DoubleFap.
And this is a video game podcast.
I just I don't know. It's like, hi, DoubleFap. And this is a video game podcast. I just, I don't know.
It's like, hi, Minority Hunter here.
That's my old profession.
Cody's new nickname.
I don't do that anymore.
It was like Buck Hunter, but it takes place in Spartanburg.
Jesus Christ.
Welcome to the podcast
we'll see we'll see i might break in the middle of the podcast i'm i have a weak will when it
comes to booze that's that's why i gotta give myself the hard lines because i it doesn't take
a lot for me to just be like oh i'll have, and then I'm just face down in some strange person's bed.
Nobody says you don't have discipline if you never put up a front
like you're trying to not do it.
There you go.
This is just what I decided to do today.
Exactly.
What would you like?
Right now I'm good on the coffee.
I'm good on the coffee.
You got to let me get worn down first.
I got to put up somewhat of a fight.
That's the way we like it.
Yes.
No tears, only dreams.
Stop resisting.
Oh, no.
We're just forcing
alcohol. The last time I heard
stop resisting when I put someone in handcuffs
was about a year ago. Cody, you've been out of
policing for like three years.
I know.
Times are adding up, bro. You're gonna put one of Game of Thrones, like the thing they put in that dude's
mouth and just like feed him booze.
Instead of hot steel.
Yeah, that's it.
He was your crown.
Yeah.
Your crown of gold.
Yeah.
That was like the first episode, wasn't it?
It's early.
It's early.
It's like the first time they introduced like Khal Drogo.
Yeah. Because it was what's her name's brother. Right. Yeah. The first time they introduced Khal Drogo. Yeah.
Because it was What's-Her-Name's brother.
Yeah.
And he was a piece of shit.
Yeah.
Because what they run away, they escape, right?
And then they get traded off.
Or he trades his sister to the Dothraki's as an offering.
And then they just end up murdering him.
And then she becomes queen, of course. When you see the size of Khal Drogo next to his sister,
and he's just like, have at it.
You're like, ooh.
That's a little fucked up, dude.
It is, yeah.
It's not going to end well for her.
But that's the way she goes.
Apparently it did.
Oh, it did.
It did, yeah.
For a while.
It was a different time.
I forgot the size difference.
Yeah.
Like a Betamax going into a GameCube system. Jesus Christ
Full guesses on Jason Momoa's dick size. What are we thinking for Jason Momoa's dick size? How big a dick he's got?
You're gonna fit right in!
You're gonna fit right in bro!
This is your first time you've listened to us, obviously.
I listened to a few episodes. I got the vibe. I got the vibe.
Oh, no.
You wrote down come eight times.
Okay.
That's just his notes. He's just like, come, come.
Edgy racism, come.
Okay, yeah.
We'll just always transition to come.
That's Cody's notes. Those are my morning affirmations.
You're like, Cody, talk more. Come, come, come. Those are my notes. Those are my morning affirmations.
You can't really Cody talk more.
Come.
And also... Cody!
Get him down here!
It's like, oh, this isn't live, right?
We're not live.
I could already see
Fluck just opening the bottle already.
Just like, here we go.
Batty's not here.
And it's going to stay monetized.
What is this?
I think my cortisol went through the roof about this podcast when I realized that Batty was the voice of reason.
I know.
That's a bad one when Batty's there like, uh-oh, Batty's not there.
This is going to go bad.
It's like, or is it?
He anchors you guys down.
He keeps you civil.
Which is bad when you see Batty and you realize he's the voice of reason.
Oh, he's the chaperone?
Yeah.
Fuck.
It's very unstable.
Unstable waters out here.
I like it, though.
It's good.
It's refreshing.
A red flag tattooed on him and he's the voice of reason.
A red flag?
What's the red flag?
A literal red flag. Yeah, he has it tattooed on him and he's the voice of reason a red flag what's the red flag literal a literal red flag yeah he has a tattoo like like i'm a fucking walking red flag oh a red flag i thought
it was like bro you've had some red oh no i've got tons of red flags for sure man i got a mattress
on the floor that's uh one of the first red flags and you're older than 23 oh yeah i'm older than 23
and i live in new york yeah
how is that bringing a girl home to a mattress on the floor i tell them beforehand i tell them i go
there's like there's the mattresses on the floor because you can't you can't bullshit it you can't
bullshit the mattress on the floor yeah how does that conversation usually go oh it's but you got
it like the vibes i give off sometimes i'm like why are all the women I sort of associate with like these kind of like
grimy people like
Just what I oh my god, you just yeah, I'm just gonna let you know, you know, the mattress is on the floor
Do you have a mattress?
Doesn't take a lot to impress them. I have a call to make mom. I made it He owned the whole mattress
for context
The first girl I slept with when I moved to junior York had more than one face tattoo like this is that's the realm
I'm kind of in constantly and it's just those just the vibes I give off. I don't seek these people out
They find me I have terrible pickup game. What was her dick size like?
This is chode-ish.
That sounds less painful.
Oversized clit or undersized dick?
Four inch clit? That's a penis,
my friend. No.
No, it couldn't be.
Couldn't be. There was no veins in it.
We've gotten
six minutes in and we're already at trend clit.
Yeah. That's
a new record
right here dude mark it mark it put in the fucking guinness books so you just like you have high
high quality females you invite them to your place they're great they're great we're all in the same
vibe where they come back to the place i do i go a lot of going there right now because i have two
big windows in my apartment and no blinds yet yeah having haven't invested in
the blinds i've been on the road too much to really get the the humble abode looking the way
i want it to look uh so most of my downtime in new york has just been been chilling uh but i will
i'll get there i'll get there we'll get to the point i don't the the my brother in christ they're
like 20 on amazon i know it's like haven't made that investment this isn't fucking you're not shopping
for a house my son no you are right i will give you 20 bucks guys we're starting to go fund me
right now for jay's blinds but we're gonna pick what blinds we're gonna put in the house i need
to get the blackouts for sure i need those blackout curtains that'll change your life yeah
yeah those are those are the the best thing ever that's why they wake up at 12 yeah because you got the blackouts yeah okay my car was towed this morning that's
what that was little to everything did you run out did you make a scene we're like
did you try to stop it i didn't even know it was happening like i slept good last night
and i walk outside to take john to school and i'm like oh well my truck's not in front of my house
that's like it's san antonio so it's probably stolen but i live in a gated community so it's probably not stolen and i
called security and they're like yeah you parked it in front of your house so we towed it you're
not supposed to park overnight on the street just imagine that is what your security says bro you
parked in front of your house exactly i was like listen here ralph i appreciate what you do for
this community but you have a name and address.
Don't fucking do that again.
Yeah.
It's that that's such a preposterous,
because like, especially overnight,
at night is when it's going to be
the least inconvenience to anyone.
It's like, what is the point of towing this truck?
And it's like, if anything, come to you first.
Like, hey, man, you're not,
if it is bothering you for whatever insane reason,
like, can you not park your car in the road you're not supposed to where in front of your own it's not a small road either like if you have one car on either side of the street you can still
get through them yeah it's no that's what they tried to tell me they're like it's so emergency
vehicles can get through and i'm like well i was a cop for years and i know emergency vehicles can
fit through here fucking three fire trucks can fit through here yeah you have like a big roadway it's not like yeah well it's just some busy body white
lady that lives across from me keeps calling they got nothing better to do man and if it's not this
it'll be something else it'll be like a guy has a boat in his driveway and it's four centimeters
bigger than it needs to be they're just like it's like bro get a life get something to do there's
so many things to do man learn how to play piano I don't know
They need to bring over the wolf of Wall Street pills the Quaaludes they need to bring Quaaludes back for these ladies our Quaaludes uppers or downers
Aren't they a downer at first and then if you what if you stay awake, they are like a total downer
Yeah, cuz they're like it's supposed to be a sleeping pill Oh
Sleeping pill, but if you like don't sleep for like 20 minutes, you get absurdly high. Oh, shit.
Comments below.
What are quaaludes?
Yeah.
Since we're huge into the drug scene, as you can tell, we're like, are they uppers or downers?
Maybe if you take some, episode 71, we take eight quaaludes apiece and see what happens.
See what happens.
They don't make them anymore, right?
Oh, they don't make quaaludes.
They haven't made them in 20 or 30 years or something like that.
Really? Yeah, because they got you know he'd be slapped by the fda i got a hard no on any prescription drugs that's the that's where i draw the line scripts
it's just like if you're gonna get hooked on a drug that's too but like uh um psychedelics big
on those love the psychedelics i fucking hate prescription drugs now heroin heroin is where
it's heroin yeah you got to go to a guy he's got to meet you in a parking lot there's several
barriers that stop me from getting addicted to heroin yeah you have to buy a spoon yeah
exactly so i just injected 50 of heroin 50% white spork Prescriptions the VA
Dude the VA is so good at
Hooking you up on prescriptions
What's the VA?
It is our universal healthcare
For the military community
It's great
They're terrible
They'll give you any drugs you want.
That's pretty cool.
I remember I had
back issues. They're like, sir,
gotcha. Here's Vicodin.
Vicodin? That's a big one.
They were like, here, take fucking two a
day or whatever. I was like, dope.
Took it. Go back. I'm like,
yo, I can't sleep on this shit. They're like, oh, fuck.
That's a rare thing. You actually like 5% of people when they're on Vicodin, it wires them, makes them wide
awake.
I was like, yeah, one of those.
Like, ah, okay.
Here's some Ambien.
Just take him side by side.
I was like, this is both very addictive, right?
And they're like, yes.
But just take them.
But take them.
Oy, oy, oy.
And they have no problem.
They're like, yeah, here's a monthly refill.
You're good to go.
Have fun.
Holy moly.
I was like,
yo VA,
thank you.
Same thing.
If you have PTSD,
you go in there and you're like,
Hey,
I'm having bad thoughts.
They're like,
here's a bunch of pills.
Yeah.
Here's a,
here's a Vicodin.
Yeah.
Here's a prescription to nine millimeter.
Y'all,
y'all ever heard of SSRIs?
Here's a funnel.
The VA is so bad.
And then you wait in line for like fucking.
I had, I think I've said it before.
It was like, I was supposed to have like x-rays done for my back to have some shit done.
And they were like, got you, sir.
This was February.
And like, we got you an ASAP.
You're taken care of.
Dope.
When's my appointment?
It was July.
The end of July.
This is February. sap you're taken care of dope when's my appointment it was july the end of july this is february and
i was like i'm not gonna remember i have an appointment in july yeah to get my back looked
at that is fucked up and you're like we can try to move it to june i was like we're we're good
we're just gonna so what did you do about your back dude Dude, I gave up. The VA is very good at making you give up on any problems you have.
Oh, yeah, 100%.
They put this wall of everything.
You're like, I'm depressed, and I'm feeling certain ways.
Well, here's a wall of everything you're going to have.
All the hoops you have to jump through, you're like, well, you're expediating one thing, and that is my life.
So can you go to just like another doctor?
You have to go through the VA.
No, I mean, you can, but you're going to have to pay full price for it if you don't have
civilian insurance.
Yeah.
Because the VA most of the time is not going to pay for any outside doctors.
Yeah.
So you got to go to a VA hospital where...
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You go in and get a simple surgery or something,
and you end up with no leg when you wake up.
Jesus Christ. The VA hospital is where the bottom 10% of your medical school class goes to work.
And they're just chopping people up.
They fuck people up all the time.
They fuck people up.
I went in for a wisdom tooth left with a beautiful pair of tits.
It's fucking amazing.
That sounds pretty good.
It's almost a bonus.
You're like, what happened?
Oh, fuck.
We fucked these up.
Who is getting tits right now, VA?
Somebody.
Someone needed tits.
Take back the curtain.
Your bedmate is like Chelsea Manning.
You're like, oh, god damn it.
Son of a bitch.
The third time this has happened. Dude, sorry. I got your tits. We'll be back. Take the t has happened dude sorry i got your tits we'll be
back take the tits out did they remove your wisdom teeth i want those please oh my god so
one thing you don't know is we do a wonderful superpower game.
Yes.
You mentioned this previously.
I did.
But you didn't tell me what it was.
Yeah, I was like, we got like a superpower thing.
I'll tell you tomorrow.
Don't worry about it.
Cody has the best power.
You have to pick a power and we get to pick the offset to that power.
Oh, what is your what is your avenger esque superhero
Vandress superhero power I always thought super intelligence is great
It kind of opens up first it opens up a lot of doors if you're super smart
You're like a Tony Stark a Batman like all those guys you can kind of circumvent a lot of things you could make I know
Build time travel make yourself fly give yourself super strength
You can go to out through a lot of different routes if you have super intelligence.
I already know the offset that I really want to do.
I've got one.
Do you want to do yours first?
Because mine is, I got mine.
It's locked in.
Yours is probably better.
Mine is like you can only use it for one day in a row, and the next day you have to be clinically retarded.
Oh, that's good.
Because I was like, you have to use it, but then your rain man for 30 minutes
Come on let's go change. I don't want to oh, yeah, I don't work. I need four Snickers
No, that is good that is good
Lock is on a date. Yeah eight o'clock eight o'clock my luck
Your power is great because he's like, he's coming to inclusion.
He's like, the end of time's tomorrow.
We have to stop Thanos then and there at 12 p.m. tomorrow.
We're like, thank God for Che showing up that next day to stop Thanos.
Just retarded.
Don't bring him here.
Head over, head over. Didn't have to. Just my home leave my home man dude who are you poop hits
we're sorry everyone would be so confused in that in that special needs home yeah because you just
walk in window licking retarded one day
and then come out the next day in a fucking three piece.
Thank you.
Fine.
Gentlemen.
Thank dude.
I got to go.
Yeah.
Holy shit.
The one off.
I like the idea that some of the retarded things you like
stick with you when you're super smart.
You still fucking love lunchables.
You're sitting in your office doing all these calculations don't touch my fucking lunchables those are my lunchables
you're like drooling trying to put together a puzzle and like eating caviar
they have a little crossover i like that that. I like that. The synapses are firing weird.
His favorite
part about being retarded is he gets to watch
Roly Poly Oly.
He's like, I love
being retarded. It's not the best, but you
gotta watch a ton of Roly Poly Oly.
They really fucking love that. Jay, watch out!
He's on his tablet.
Just an inch down.
Just like
aggressive with the tablet just 8 inches. Yeah. Ooooooh! Yeah! Just like, aggressive with the tablet.
Don't go! Tablet!
Ooooooh.
Where's Wi-Fi?
I have to pull my phone out and turn on dad-ass Wi-Fi.
God damn it.
I just realized we're literally describing the Hulk.
Yeah.
Where you have Bruce Banner and then the other half of the time you have this big retarded brood who's got a f***ing screen.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Fuck.
Ugh. Not far off from the Hulk. Except I don't think he has any... There's no bonuses when he's retarded brood who's got a f***ing string. Yeah. Fuck.
Not far from the Hulk.
Except I don't think he has any... There's no bonuses when he's retarded.
I just love you're wearing a Burger King crown.
I love it.
The Burger King crown is a win, man.
So am I power.
Yes, it is.
Oh, yeah.
So Cody's power.
Cody, go on.
I can fly, but to stay in flight, I have to shout racial slurs.
So it makes it really difficult to save people in Section 8
housing.
There's a fire!
I have my ladder!
Can't you fly?
No, that wasn't me.
I know!
There's a lot of news crews around.
Here, citizens, put on these noise-canceling earbuds.
Brought to you by the RAIDCOM.
I'm here to save you.
He's just blasting a speaker while he's doing it so no one can hear what he's saying.
Kids, close your ears.
You become an anti-hero even though you did nothing wrong.
Yeah, you're like, I can't.
You want me to fly or not?
You want me to fly or not?
I need to do this to fly.
I can take this from that building. I can. Yeah, I can. I can't you want me to fly or not I need to do this in that building. Yeah, I can't I
That's 60 fucking feet. Are you gonna cancel me or not? It's the question six Twitter accounts
But I saved some people fuck that action speak louder than words
he's had this running joke about Wario about how like
Mario is already a plumber. A plumber is pretty like
a grimy kind of... He's a fucking
trades guy. He's a grimy guy.
And fucking
Wario is the evil
version of a plumber. We're like,
he's for sure a racist.
There's no universe
where Wario isn't racist.
He's Italian.
The evil version of an Italian plumber,
like, how far does it go?
Mussolini.
It goes pretty far. It goes pretty far.
Wide spectrum, those
Italians. Wide spectrum. Wide
spectrum. What would an evil plumber do?
I'm just thinking of racist
Wario. He for sure, like,
he'll fix your toilet, but he leaves an upper
decker every time. Takes the shit shit in the top your toilet every fucking time canceled on Twitter. I would have more money if the Jews didn't run the banks. Yeah.
Just fucking fixing your toilet. You're like, oh, okay.
Hey, Wario, what do you think about Sicily?
Well, I read a lot.
Black
people, am I right?
It's just always like these really hints of
racism. Yeah, you're like, whoa, Jesus Christ.
Jesus Christ, Wario.
He's just gonna he's got a tattoo of derek chauvin on his arm the lord now this is canon for warrior and luigi or waluigi because he has to have the
racist brother yeah no waluigi i thought waluigi is for sure a pervert waluigi looks like such a pervert like I could see him having
Like a mirror on his shoes so he can look up skirts and shit like that's the kind yeah
He's doing pervert. I just see him like doing that awkward ass fucking run with one kid in each hand yeah
Gets in a fucking Mario Kart thing. Throwing kids instead of shells.
Why am I thinking of this in the context of that fucking SNL
like Elon Musk skit?
The Mario bit.
You haven't seen that?
I think he plays Wario.
Yeah, Wario on court.
Not a very good skit
because he's Spurgy as hell
and it's just, you know.
Spurgy? Oh my god, can we make a Spurgey shirt?
Spurgey as hell.
I'll let you have the word.
Oh man, Tism and Spurgey.
Is it like autistic?
Asperger's.
He's a Spurgey motherfucker.
That's so 2000 and late.
Spurgey's my favorite singer.
That's Spurgey. Dude, fucking Tism and Spurge is my favorite singer. That's Fergie.
Dude, fucking Tism and Spurge.
Oh, Brandon, you're genius.
Tism and Spurge is like Poncho and Lefty.
This is a buddy cop, Tism and Spurge.
It's like some awful 90s Nickelodeon shit.
Welcome to the radical adventures of Tism and Spurge.
That's a fucking Meat Canyon cartoon right there hunter we got
an idea tism and spurgy run with it you have full permission whatever you want whatever you want
hey justin roiland i got an idea dude oh god the meat canyon stuff is is fucking every it's hard
to watch those and just be like oh that was great i always feel like i've been touched the wrong way
or something after i watch a meat canyon cartoon i'm like oh man he goes dude the blues clues one jesus yeah that one's
you don't feel like a good person it's at your statement stands very i just i love the whole
thing behind the bucks bunny when being taken down which means warner brothers
acknowledged that Bugs Bunny
being a official canon.
I want to smell that sweet man.
Because he pointed it out in the funeral video.
He was like, I just can't believe
they would do this considering, in order to claim
it, that would make him being
a serial canon.
Very odd they decided
to claim this.
Can you hand me a so is it still
like is it still online they just claimed it uh it's it's re-uploaded by some like smaller channels yeah teenagers re-uploaded so yeah so watch it it exists yeah it still exists they
made hunter take it down yeah that one blew one blew up, man. That was everywhere. Smell a sweet little man pussy on your ass.
Smell a sweet little man pussy.
It stinks.
Yeah.
Nice and good.
And when you meet him, he'll transition into those voices so fucking.
He'll talk to you in a regular voice, and then he'll switch over to one of his characters,
and it's like, oh, it's so cool.
You're doing the thing, Hunter. It was literally the first time we hung out at the Gun Ranger of his characters and it's like, oh, it's so cool. You're doing the thing, Hunter.
I was literally, the first time we hung out,
I was like at the Gun Ranger or whatever
and we're like, do we ask him to do the voice?
We're all just fucking stupid.
It reminds me of like Salad Fingers back in the day.
Cupid Cumberdell.
Yeah.
Cupid Cumberdell.
Salad Fingers was so good.
The nettles and he like rubs them on his nipples
and produces his own milk.
You're like, what the fuck? Yeah. That was barely barely i was barely old enough for that part of the internet early 2000s
yeah man that's like the that was that age of the internet was on there was there was like five
things to watch that were like things back when smosh was funny yes yeah that was new grounds new
grounds that's right i would watch porn on new grounds like
There you can watch anime porn you there's also the undress things where they would take some celebrity and like
Photoshop her onto like a naked body and take her clothes off love that as a kid is more difficult cuz you like yeah You're like using the mouse with your left hand. Yeah
Yeah
I'm in jail simultaneously No, you had to play a game in J.O. simultaneously. Yeah, yeah. You had to track ball. Yeah.
That was just so hard.
That was not my generation's problems.
No, you missed out on that.
Dude, loading porn at fucking one line at a time.
You remember it when you'd be like.
Almost got a nipple.
Almost got a nipple.
Yeah.
That's like your generation's version of like the hitting on the fucking side of the TV like
Yeah
You almost have your one porn picture your sister picks up the phone and it just shuts you off the internet
Bitch I was almost there. I was at the tent. It's was big on limewire porn that was a big one
live just digested a ton of limewire porn i would like i would fucking download that
shit on my family computer i digested i was good it was an insane amount of porn i consumed as a
kid like i i found out that you could download it and i was just like putting tons of it on
my computer fucking my family computer up like that family computer had std oh yeah it was fucking ruined dude and you never knew what
you were watching you get like random videos in there and shit yeah I got herpes on his hands
just trying to type yeah like what is going on huge tits exe file that sounds good yeah install
huge tits exe file of course the computer's like why did it lock up this doesn't
make any sense i just want to see some tits over here i'm just a human man this is fine
smoke coming from the museum yeah fine it's fine i'll blame my little brother it's fine yeah no
you know when your parents find it you you're like, it's a virus.
I don't know what happened.
Yeah, that was the.
So downloaded it all by itself.
The virus Googled this for me for 30 minutes.
Yeah.
At 913 when I was logged in.
The virus loves the BBWs, not me.
I remember.
I remember my mom being like,
This bar is great taste.
Oh, great taste.
Her being like, what's this on this computer?
This big tits cum shots.
And I was like, it's pretty much what it sounds like.
It's exactly what it sounds like.
Mother, I have the inkling you know exactly what this is. Considering I was born.
You got it.
You got it.
Mom, I thought you graduated from high school, you dumb bitch.
What's it read?
This being.
Wow.
Jesus.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
The internet did it.
That's a bold strategy, Cotton.
Let's see how it plays out.
Now, if you can.
Excuse me.
I know exactly how that plays out.
The chocolate comes out.
Takes your ear off. Jesus Christ.
Do what you must, I've already won.
I've already came.
Do what you must, I already came.
That's a new shirt.
It's just a prideful guy.
Oh no, it's just a picture of fucking Jeffrey Epstein.
Do what you must, I already came.
Do what you must, I already came. Ugh. Oh, no, it's just a picture of fucking Jeffrey Epstein
It was fun it was fun now this is them out inside thoughts
Don't bully me I might come don't bully me I might come is so funny dude That's my favorite fucking t-shirt that I've seen popping up there was I haven't seen
Yeah, don't bully me I'll come there's a video That's my favorite fucking t-shirt that I've seen popping up. I haven't seen that one. Oh, that's awesome.
Yeah, don't bully me, I'll come.
There's a video.
That's so good.
A video went viral a while ago of a guy trying to wear it at his family get-together.
And his sister being like, don't wear that.
And he's like, what does it matter?
We're all going out.
It's at home.
Who cares?
Stop bullying me.
Yeah.
I'll come. would i want step sister
dude fucking new kink unlocked yes
fucking god damn it oh you're a mega nerd yes you're a gamer i didn't realize how much of a
gamer yeah i play a lot of video games.
Yeah.
Watch the animes, too.
I watch anime.
I'm not super deep in anime, but I have seen some good stuff.
I've consumed quite a bit.
You're like in between Cody and Batty, I think, on anime.
Yeah, yeah.
Cody's like, I know anime.
Still going to call you a fucking nerd if you watch as much as me.
It is nerdy. It is nerdy. Even coolest anime is like this is pretty lame kind of gay
He's gonna make you come Doing it. Hope nobody bullies me till I come.
Here I am.
I know I love anime just because I don't watch it,
but I love knowing whose opinions to disregard on the internet when they have an anime profile picture.
That really just sends it home.
You're like, I don't need to listen to you.
Anime or furries.
Those profile pictures I know like, okay,
they're either young or they have developmental issues.
The furry thing is wild.
It's like a huge community,
massive community.
And it's like thousands of dollars to build those suits.
And they just like,
yeah.
And they're like a secret cult too.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Don't fuck with the squirrels.
You fuck with the squirrels.
Yeah.
You'd never know.
There's a lot of police officer furries.
Really?
Yeah.
There's a large community of
them dude you probably may keep that under wraps hey they're not fucking telling anyone
when did that come out of like when does that get instilled where i'm like i want to fuck a rabbit
with hits there was this i didn't know that my discord i had like 200 000 people on my discord
there was a sub community of just first responder furries on there really yeah in the discord your
discord my discord yeah that's
man I wish they had like badges or something that would identify them with that it's like
nope just give me something for the pain and let me die but they'll like their fursonas they'll
be like police dogs police they'll wear like police outfits on their first song they just
watched like Zootopia one too many times and then decided they wanted to start fucking
I don't know. What is it the rabbit random? We call that like it's kind of hot. Let's be honest. She's not not hot
In this weird area
The rabbits kind of hot.
Where do we start?
Where do we start drawing the line?
If it's not Zootopia rabbit.
No, no.
But we're moving a little more the other way.
It's called bestiality.
Not a fan, as it turns out.
Mr. Ed with tits is hot.
But?
It gets marginally less weird when you draw them
but it's still a fucking animal.
I'm not fucking a rabbit.
Mr. Ed's just...
But what about like Lola Bunny? We're going like
a little further. Is Lola Bunny hot?
Yeah, they had to tone her down. They toned her down.
Lola Bunny's very sexualized.
We can't say she's not.
I would say in the same category as like Jessica rabbit jet, but just a little person. That's like yeah
But it's a cart
This way you're not putting on an actual fucking suit
But I'm just like where there's a there's a point where it's there's a gray area where we go like I don't know anymore
My dad never I've seen Jessica rabbit. I was like I fucker I was like fucking the other rabbit
Looney Tunes oh, yeah, oh, it's a rabbit
What a human human ass
Really nice You got great tits! It's a great tits on that rabbit. Fucking fur nipples in my goddamn mouth.
What?
What?
What, did she just shave her beave?
Uh...
Maybe she just keeps it hairy, I don't know.
I'm a fan of hair.
It's just hairy everywhere.
Sorry, Patty.
I mean, at a certain point, though,
cartoons are just supposed to be like stand-in
representation for people to avoid like the uncanny valley with there you go stuff like
it's kind of the idea of fucking that thing and not a rabbit like a literal fucking that's weird
as shit i don't know i'm still i'll i'll be fucking a rabbit weird uh lola bunny we're like
introduce that to your family at the party.
Nah, they don't need to listen to us.
They don't need to listen.
You pull down the projector.
This is why I want to fuck a rabbit.
Okay, see, as you can see,
Exhibit A.
Look at these tits. Thank you for coming
to my TED Talk.
Okay, but this being
a video game podcast, you guys will appreciate this.
So when I was a kid,
my parents found tons of porn on the computer
and like locked that thing down.
There's all these passwords and shit,
could not use it.
But I'm like, I don't know,
I'm a teenager at this point,
maybe I'm like say 13, 14.
I'm not going to stop jerking off.
I'm not going to stop watching porn ever.
So I convinced my parents to get Wi-Fi.
I was like, I need Wi-Fi so I can like use,
I don't know.
Internet. Yeah, internet, PlayStation online. This is is wi-fi it's not a common thing yet but what i was
really doing i was getting wi-fi for my parents nintendo wii which was like hooked up to the big
screen tv because the wii had a browser oh yeah my parents didn't know about so i used that to
watch porn in the living room like i fucking own the place i would jerk off on the
big screen watching the wii and they never found that out that was like one of the craftiest
ways you probably would would have never known how they caught you because they'd just be like
walk in start to like get toward the door and like no we're just with this we don't need this
we're gonna let this happen we want I give this 10 and like come back like
It's Che doing the thing again. Yeah, he's out there. He's doing the thing her time today
Yeah, watching you fucking browse the window on the controller. You're like and it was so yeah, sorry to type
That man and aola Bunny, I tell you.
Just keeps J-O and Lola Bunny.
Bring up Jessica Rabbit.
Jessica Rabbit's a fucking female that was married to a rabbit.
Yeah.
She's not right for that.
No, no.
You need something in between that makes you question who you are.
That's what you need. You need something in between that makes you question who you are. That's what you need.
You need something floating in the gray area.
I'm a fucking rabbit.
I don't know how this is a hard decision for people.
I'm like, you get no pushback from me.
I agree fully.
I've never looked at a Pokemon and thought, man, I'd smash that Pikachu.
I've never looked at a picture of a furry and thought anything other than like face the wall.
It's like some Sodom and Gomorrah shit.
Like, I don't want to be a part of that.
Cody, what's your kink?
Which animal?
The squirrels.
What?
Which one?
I don't want a fucking animal.
Okay.
Well, no.
All I said was like, they do some of those animal cartoon characters.
They draw them very well.
Okay. Which is the line though? where you're like, I'd smash?
Oh, fuck.
I don't know.
No, I probably wouldn't fuck the one from, we were just talking about, the rabbit cop.
Oh, the Zootopia.
Probably nothing in Zootopia.
No one in Zootopia is getting fucked.
Agreed.
She's that big.
Agreed.
Exactly.
She's like a flesh slug.
I don't like that imagery at all.
Mr. Coding.
Oh my god.
And she's dead.
Literally just like fucking through this
poor rabbit.
Dolphins that catch the fish.
They use the fish as flesh slugs.
Oh my god. The end. fish's flesh. Oh, the joke, guys, is a joke.
The end.
That's how Zootopia ends.
Oh, God.
Jesus.
Cody just walks in.
The deleted scenes.
This is the one for us.
This is the one I hope my mom doesn't watch.
She's like, let's have family movie night.
Let's not watch Zootopia.
Mom, are we very specific on what we're not watching now?
Well, I watched episode 70, Cody.
I love how you guys can do my mom's voice.
It's pretty good.
I don't think we're going to watch Zootopia today, Cody.
That doesn't sound good.
I didn't like that last one.
Patty took the Lord's name in vain and you want to fuck
a rabbit. I got you
this DVD though.
Zootopia.
There was a
rated edition.
There's a tweet that went viral a while ago
of people were like, has
Bula better hope that we don't find him because
if I see him, I'm turning him to a fleshlight on the spot.
Jesus Christ.
No.
That's the most
aggressive tweet I've ever watched.
So aggressive.
So aggressive, man. He lives in
fear now from that one tweet.
Did you see the one with him and Shaq? Oh, that was great.
I love it. I love Hasbulla. I don't know
what happened to create that thing, but Hasbulla is great, 100%.
Everything he says is a little laugh.
He's fucking awesome.
He's hilarious, man.
He's like a little mascot.
He hangs out with Khabib.
They're dude.
They're fucking, they're cool as shit.
I'm a big fan of Hasbulla.
He exploded in like, what years just that yeah happened and
then it was like he had that standoff with that other guy who's like a little baby man guy
i'm sure that's what the proper term is a little baby man guy the shore guy baby man
and then that was just like everyone was like what what is this? What's happening? It was great loved it loved it
God that would have been the worst thing to happen though if they actually fought
No, like being oh
That's the worst thing ever no that'd be awesome. No do you know what if has bullet in Alexis Texas fuck Oh God
I know Alexis Texas, yes.
I met her at a porn convention.
Really?
Two months ago.
Wow. He made us all very uncomfortable.
He's like, bro, what the fuck?
What is that?
That's not a person.
You can't call her it.
And I'm like, I don't know what the fuck it is.
We're walking to the porn convention and we're in this hotel.
And Alexis Texas walks in front of us. And and I'm like who the fuck brought their kid here
Who's dressed their toddler up in a bikini and bra? Wait is Alexis Texas in the fucking I don't think I'm thinking the right person
Who's Alexis, Texas? I got it
Alexis Texas we went so fucking hard the first episode making sure we didn't say her name because of this exact thing
Oh, I know everyone's nervous. Oh, yeah, alexis texas is is that the blonde with the bigger ass yeah she's got a
huge ass if i'm thinking oh maybe i'm thinking of the wrong one what's right tina tiny tiny tiny
taxi texas texas tina i don't know texas tina tina taxi but you know but you thought she was a child
yeah it literally looks like a seven-year-old oh really because she thought she was a child yeah it literally looks like a fucking seven-year-old oh
really because she's she's a little person it is tiny taxi look at this branded show like i didn't
know that there was a porn star like that but it does nothing surprises me nothing surprises me
that's dude like how do you express how do you bring that to a family i know but
their torsos are the same size right no she's like two foot tall she's like almost proportional
it's really weird yeah and like but like where does the dick go where it always goes well i know
what is the what is the question being developed that at 42 years of age. But, like, wouldn't it, like, you can't take the whole dick.
She can't take the whole dick.
There's no way she's taking the whole dick.
There's no way.
I don't know.
You see some of those.
They can get out there.
I don't know.
I would assume she's not taking half a dick.
She's like that rabbit from Utopia.
I won't.
No.
So let's take Tiny Texas, Tiny Tina,
throw a couple bunny ears on her.
Now where's the fucking line?
We found that line.
Yeah, that's a homicide.
The best video game podcast ever. Ever.
Ever.
Ever.
So you're a nerd, right?
Yeah.
Would you fuck a rabbit?
Would you fuck a rabbit?
At what point do you fuck a rabbit?
How much do you have to humanize a rabbit before you fuck it?
So I'm not fucking any rabbit,
but what I will fuck with is out of regs.
Out of regs?
What's out of regs?
It's our one sponsor.
Oh.
Are we doing a commercial now?
Yeah, this is how we transition.
I have a beard oil cream.
Yes, out of regs.
Beard and mustache cream
Sorry, beard oil beard and mustache cream, and it makes your mustache and beard a silky smooth
Silky smooth and feel great smells good like tactical
It does smell amazing I like play doh yeah, I like the play doh smell this one's the play doh smell we got
It's what I use every day out of Yeah. I like the Play-Doh smell. This one's the Play-Doh smell. We got a new scent coming out. What's mine, Ben? I thought mine was a Play-Doh smell.
It's what I use every day.
Oh, yeah. Mine smells good.
Out of rakes.
It smells good.
Batty's is light.
The oil smells really good.
This is how we do it.
Made with all natural ingredients.
What is in your oil?
Good stuff.
The only thing I know.
Your oil smells good.
What's the coupon code?
Because I just know we've got Cum20.
Or you have Cum20.
On sub. On sub 20.
Come 20 is the code that everyone uses.
It's C-U-M if you thought it was spelled come.
Normally it's not.
C-U-M.
C-U-M 20 to zero.
Go get a portion of donuts cream or baddies cream.
Put our cream in your beard.
Become a cream filled donut get your facial
today with out of ranks use discount code come 20 and save 20 on getting donut and baddies cream in
your face oh man why are you having trouble finding other sponsors Oh, man.
Why are you having trouble finding other sponsors?
I don't know. It's fucking weird.
Would you fuck this rabbit to death?
By the way, unsubscribe come 20.
Speaking of fucking rabbits, therapy.
You bitches need betterhelp.com. Betterhelp.com.
Y'all motherfuckers need Jesus and a therapist.
Speaking of Jesus, Bible doc.
We start flipping Bibles and shit.
I'm like, oh man, we're just taking all the ad reads now.
Are Bible sales still through the roof?
I feel like everyone's got a Bible.
Everyone's got one, right?
I mean, it's the number one selling book ever.
It is the number one selling book ever, but I feel like everyone's a bible now harry potter beat it yeah i don't think it
beat it i don't know no harry potter's up there i think harry potter's if it's if it didn't beat
it's number two overall sales but like maybe like for one year i feel like the first time the bible
was ever outsold it was harry potter when i like a little bit that's wild man that's why your mom
threw harry potter out
yeah oh she won't let you read it well no when i got to the eighth grade she was kind of like
drinking again and passed her religious stage but no she like took my magic cards and cried
about them because she thought they were possessing me this is why your head no that that's
me hitting puberty after rabbits because I like
Devils like don't blame me man
I'm all about this fucked up shit, but blame Pixar
Alex Jones Hey, I'm all about this fucked up shit, but blame Pixar on that one. I didn't even need to touch it, man.
I don't know why the devil's Alex Jones either.
The globalists don't want you to know this, but you can fuck as many rabbits as you want.
I fuck 450 rabbits.
They're free.
You can just fuck them.
The frogs are gay.
That's why the frogs are gay.
I've been fucking the frogs gay.
All this rabbit fuck is turning the freaking are gay. That's why the frogs are gay. I've been fucking the frogs gay. All this rabbit fuck is turning the freaking frogs gay.
Oh, dude.
Chimpanzees actually do use frogs as fleshlights.
Oh, I did see that video.
What the fuck is with you knowing what animals use what other animals as fleshlights?
You grew up on the internet like I did. I didn't know either of those things.
Where the chimpanzee grabs the frog and it's just like going to town with it.
You've never seen that?
Oh, that's a classic.
You're like, oh, very highly reviewed.
Very good early internet video.
That's very good. I love that one. I love it.
How old are you guys?
26.
35.
I'm 30 and you're 37.
Yeah.
The early internet stuff.
Cause I think,
did we,
did you catch like blue waffle and stuff like blue waffle?
I was like,
yeah.
Yeah.
You got blue waffle to two girls,
one cup,
like all that kind of shit.
Yep.
Uh,
pain Olympics,
pain Olympics.
Yes.
So good.
Heather,
I deep throat.com.
Not going to have a,
Oh,
I,
you didn't have ID throat.
No Heather ID throat.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The champ of the champion.
See,
she was like, that was a lot of my LimeWire downloads.
Every version of her.
Yeah.
This chick was like the queen of Deep Throat before that was even a thing.
Before they even put out like an official title of queen of Deep Throat.
She was like, she was the one.
I wasn't aware there was an official title.
I mean, I'm making it right now.
Is this like a fucking WWE belt that they pass around?
Yes.
She earned it.
Oh, yeah.
She earned it. It just has like a swallowing sword on the she earned it. Oh, yeah, she earned it
It just has like a swallowing sword on the end of it
She was the first person I ever saw that the dudes jizzing and then she goes all the way to the base and then you
Don't even see the jizz. It's just like magic trick. Yeah
This come disappear
That's the great stuff, that's the great stuff that's the great stuff dude that's that og internet and she's still
she she can't she did a comeback recently i don't know if it's stuck though maybe she was just
trying to launch the only fans but she she did she went she took a shot at it again. And she's much older now, though. Yeah, she's older.
She was like, I was in a nice 32DD.
Let's go with a nice F cup.
Did you see how big her...
Did she have fakers?
Are they new big fakers?
Dude, the most giant...
She was like, I need an upgrade.
Yeah.
Dude, it is.
I lost my gag reflex 30 years ago.
She's a champ, though.
That is most of our teens.
That was your Kazaa, your LimeWire.
That was your down.
That's all pre-OnlyFans era.
These girls were just doing the amateur stuff and selling DVDs and shit.
Is that what she was doing?
Or her website?
I think you go to the website.
I don't even know if subscription things were a thing back then.
Like I think maybe you would pay
per episode? Yeah.
I don't even know how you made money off of porn back in the day.
It's more of a membership thing.
Babe, I'm blowing up on Kazaa.
They still have like banner ads and shit like that
I'm sure. Yeah. Like traditional ads.
Oh, I forgot about banner ads and shit
back in the day. Yeah. Damn. before anybody had ad blocker yeah you just had to eat it cpms were probably
through the fucking floor but whatever oh yeah they were garbage back in the day i forgot all
about that stuff is that weird like you're the young guy so like there are certain stuff on the
internet you're like bring it up you're just gonna be like what the fuck are you guys talking about ICQ like I can play the sound you would not know
the sound I see Q ICQ is even like I never gone to ICQ ICQ and there was what
was the other one in myspace myspace I never got into yeah yeah myspace I was
like the very tail end I remember having to apologize to my parents because I made a Myspace without telling them.
I was like sixth grade, seventh grade, whatever.
You piece of shit.
Oh, yeah.
How dare you.
Net zero.
What was that?
Was that like AOL?
That was the free internet.
You had to have an ad that played all the time,
but you got free internet access to 56K modem.
They would like send you a CD,
and then you just plug your computer in.
You had free internet. I remember hearing ads
about that. Yeah, you would have an ad that
ran the entire time of your internet.
Like anytime you're exploring, it's like
and it was shitty slow internet, but you could play
Diablo 2 on that shit.
That's that's fucking
old school. Man, Brandon, you just
missed like the fucking, not
the heyday. It was a terrible time. Like Google
searching was the worst.
What was before Google?
There was something that was right before that.
Dash Jeeves.
Yeah.
Yep.
And Yahoo.
Yeah, Yahoo.
It was like an actual competitor to Google for like three months.
And then Google just took it all.
Google took everything.
Google was cooler.
And it had a better layout.
Trying to figure, Googling back in the day, it would be like four things would pop up and you had to be highly specific
Now it's very refined you have like a billion fucking searches back in the day
It was like which I missed back in the day a little bit because like I actually had a computer like Peter left course when
I was in like middle school
Teaching you how to Google where it's like oh you put these parentheses around something or whatever if you want like an exact phrase
Whatever now, it's just all algorithm driven like it doesn't even fucking
matter yeah and they present like what they want to show you which is like if you want to find
something like crazy shit go to like duck duck go or something like that oh yeah unfiltered results
of like what the internet is actually saying oh versus like the algorithmic shit which that's good
to know changes i gotta get on this duck duck go search a brave brave browser brave i've not heard of brave is like a clone of google uh google chrome
like it works exactly like it same plug-in same everything they don't keep your fucking data and
it's encrypted oh see that sounds way better it's really cool see this is the norfolk people are
learning right now they're learning you guys are learning are you getting it yeah this is you guys
googling if you use a minus mark the whatever that's called a minus mark People are learning right now. They're learning. You guys are learning. Are you getting it? You getting this, you guys?
Googling, if you use a minus mark, whatever that's called, a minus mark.
Subtraction sign?
A dash?
Subtraction sign.
If you use that, it takes away everything. Like Miami, if you put in dolphins, if you put in the minus mark and dolphins, wait.
Yeah, then it will subtract any dolphin or whatever it
takes away what you're googling okay this might have some like this is close relatable stuff that's
always pertinent to this information well i never want that stuff you put that minus mark and the
word never will pop up again i never knew that it's like the iPhone when I showed you how to so you can like Google like tits and then subtract
women
Man do it watch watch. I'm not gonna do that
I was gonna say I don't want that. I might see what I don't like Amazon recommendations cuz of that shit
Well, that's why you go to private. Tits minus the women.
Minus?
That was a joke. I'm genuinely curious what comes up, though.
What do we got?
Survey says.
Well, tits attached to women, I'll tell you that much.
They are.
A lot of penetration.
This is bullshit.
Wait, do I have to space it?
Liars.
Yeah, this is not working at all.
There's three tits on that first one.
Oh yeah, three tits.
That was the first thing?
Oh yeah, no shit.
Legit total recall.
I think it's pretty hard for the algorithm to figure out
tits minus women.
Are you telling me that Google is
based?
You piece of shit, get out of here.
You're never welcome back to this how dare you how dare
you make such a claim ever again it's like when the ai is like oh yeah we're just gonna let them
like have access to the full internet and like every time they turn into like fucking literal
not like misogynist nazis yeah just every fucking time it's like wow we really should stop letting
the ai read 4chan yeah no it's it's wild on there
man yo do you guys know okay more like outside of uh two girls one cup like newer gross shit on the
internet um the was it my little pony jar experiment you guys know that one yeah i saw
that one on reddit no you don't know pony jars i already know where jar experiments fucking going
one guy one jar no one guy one jar is a whole whole different vibe the my little pony jars i already know where jar experiments i know one guy one jar no one guy
one jar is a whole whole different vibe the my little pony jar experiment was a guy who was
writing on reddit about how he had bought this like my little pony figurine put it in a mason
and then he was like i'm gonna jerk off on it into this jar until i fill up the jar with cum
and then he like went dark and they're like what happened and then he came back and he was like okay i left the jar next to the radiator and the cum got all like hot and
just started to stink so i i think i'm stopping the experiment and he went dark again and then
he came back way later and he's like guys i finished it and he posted a video of him transferring
the my little pony like figuring out and put he had gloves on and he pulls it out puts into a new jar and then pours the cum into over the my little pony
This is why God doesn't talk to us
Every day we stray farther from his light
Yeah, the Milo, Johnny jar my little pony jar experiment is it's great
Well, cuz you know the other like I think jar experiment
I think of what was like the big basically like the breakdown and like the beginning of the Yugoslav war
in the 90s.
That was basically entirely caused by one, I forget, ah, fuck, I forget his nationality,
Bosnian, something like that, where he basically, what it came down to is he was shoving glass
jars in his ass.
Yeah.
One guy, one jar.
Yeah.
Basically, like he was doing that, but he basically started a war because he was doing that. What?
Because, like, at one point, like, one of the bottles
burst in his ass. He had to go to the
fucking hospital, and he was too embarrassed to say,
I was shoving jars in my ass, so he said,
this gang of Serbians came up
to me and beat the shit out of me
and shoved this jar in my ass
and broke it, and it became a huge
newspaper thing, really, like, fed the tension
or whatever, like, really, really amped everything up and it turned into a fucking like just really baller
civil war and then uh yeah basically like pretty much like 90 percent of historians look back on
that they're like he was shoving jars in his ass what the fuck i love that literally yeah so the
reason why like serbia macedonia uh all these countries exist, like Slovenia,
because somebody was shoving a fucking jar in his ass.
I just picture that guy with a fucking diaper,
like a Band-Aid diaper eating chips in the hospital.
Watching apartment buildings get grenaded,
like fucking like rifle grenaded by Yugos.
He's like, where was Serbia?
And I was like, uh-oh.
Yeah.
Uh-oh.
Yeah. It'soh. Yeah.
It's one of those weird butterfly effect things where it's like literally within six months,
shoving jars in your ass turns into bloody civil war.
Do you guys know the play, what's it?
I'm Sorry, Evan Hansen or that something Evan Hansen.
It's like a play about a kid who who a kid dies and like no one really knew
him and he didn't really have any friends and then some other kid goes like oh no i was his
friend and he wrote me this really nice note or something like that but he actually wrote the note
and then he becomes like famous and like uh like this basically this lie spirals into this thing
of him making this kid who didn't have any friends seem like he's something more than he is. There should be
a play, but the same thing like this. Like this
guy, he's like, oh, my little lie has turned
into a civil war.
It's like glass coming off his
ass. And it's his trials and tribulations
is him overcoming the need
to shove jars up his ass.
It's like that turning point where he's
like, he's slamming back booze.
He's looking in the corner. There's a jar. He's like no
That's his Popeye spinach
No, he's throwing booze bottles at the jar of glass
So he was Serbian. He was Serbian claiming he was attacked by Albanians, but yeah, the rest is correct
Yeah, dude, that is wild man little white lie of shoving jars in your ass
There's a story to be there's a there's a lesson to be learned from the story, I think.
This is like a VeggieTales moment.
It is.
It is.
Just like Own Up.
Or maybe...
Always tell the truth.
Because even if you're shoving glass in your ass, you could leave to an event where tens
of thousands of people die.
Exactly.
Don't shove jars in your ass, kids.
A pig cold towel.
Don't shove me in your ass, kids. A pickle. Don't shove me in your ass, kids.
Use me instead.
No jars.
No jars.
Eat your veggies with your ass.
Cucumbers.
The body count that you could have saved by just putting out that PSA in the 80s, essentially.
Now I could have prevented 9-11 and I could have prevented the
Yugoslavian-Serbian war.
You had two chances, Cody,
and you fucked them both up.
How could you prevent 9-11?
That's a whole story in itself.
He legit is the reason 9-11 happened.
You're the reason 9-11 happened.
I could have prevented it.
I just needed to be born a little bit earlier.
You know what? I think that's all I needed on that.
I believe you guys.
So he was working with the CIA operative back in the day
named Tim Osman.
What did you do?
I found a flaw in all aircraft in the world
and their TCAS system
that allowed them to fly into buildings
when they could have been prevented
the entire time.
Me, little E3 airman
in the Navy found this fatal flaw
in every single system.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
I got a Navy Achievement Medal for it.
I was spot-nammed, so they just
handed me this award
that means something.
Good job. The only cool thing I did in the Navy.
Honestly, though, it's probably a good thing you didn't come up with that idea sooner.
Because you would have been Dick Cheney'd somewhere along the way.
Like the Pentagon hears about, oh, there's this E3 somewhere that's got this grand fucking idea.
And you're like, oh, okay.
Oh, he goes jogging, right?
Yeah, he's not a problem. Proceed jogging right proceed in the way of our plan
definitely resulting six guys show up to my command one day and they're like we
want to take you shooting this is awesome
crazy I what price did I win 9mm One more Mr. Brandon
Thank you
Anybody else?
I'm so good, I think I'm good
You're not going to do one?
You can't not be that guest
I can't remember the comedian
He's like, all it takes for me to do anything
Is for a cool guy to tell me to do it twice
One's like, oh no, I don't know Come on no I don't know and he's shooting a black tar heroin come on
it'll be fun eventually yeah they say the world's getting hotter might as well
do heroin that's your process back in a die someday yeah we're all gonna die
right good shirt yeah the world's getting hot might as well do black
That's a rehab center merge
Fucking Brandon you just had a super viral video. Did I?
Yes.
Right?
Yes.
Well, too early to say.
Let's see.
Oh, just the 50 video today?
Yeah.
Yeah.
We're AK-50.
That's an update.
Okay, what is an AK-50?
Oh, my God. So, AK-50 is a project that we've been working on for a while, but, you know, like an AK-47.
Yeah.
We kind of specialize in those.
And we were like, it would be super cool if we took that and basically made it fucking huge and made it like a barrett like
50 bmg like 50 cal yeah in an ak platform and so we've been working on that for a while because
that's normally the thing that's underdone on like a a project that's undertaken by like
a very big weapons company or like a world government or some shit and we're just like a
couple in a garage
so we're figuring it out but we actually got one working last year you guys hear about that story this was a viral on tick tock a little while ago that there's some sort of gun that's used all
throughout the british military and the the reason they use this gun is they the british government
was like i think it was in the 70s or something they sent out something to the public they're like
hey if anyone thinks they can make a sick gun, send it in,
and we'll assess all these guns.
Is it Accuracy International?
Maybe, yeah.
And there was some guy he sent in the drum.
They're like, this is amazing.
And so the military sends people to go inspect his shop.
Like, this gun is great.
And they quickly set up some bullshit shop.
It was Zach's Gun Rants, right?
That did the thing?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And it was just three dudes who fucking made this gun on their own and then got this crazy like
contract yeah they sent out the military inspectors they're like okay well this is a formality for the
contract because they're like oh my god we are so fucked so they rented out this big ass shop right
and like all the different very like variations of prototypes or whatever that they had they just
like put them in different states of like disassembly out to make it look like they were building them or whatever yeah
and they're like oh yeah and all of our employees went to lunch you know whatever we're just like
oh but here's the facility whatever like they just fucking moved into it and they're like okay well
this is just mostly a formality we're just trying to make sure you weren't just three guys in a it's like they leave they're like we are so fucked
but yeah now that the military uses that gun it's a gun this is a huge company now accuracy
international is pretty pretty fucking big there you go it's awesome bullshitting works out a lot
100 yeah yeah you can bullshit your way through life pretty fucking well. We all do it for a living.
Look at all of us.
Yeah, dude.
That is true.
Okay, here's a good one, fucking.
This is current.
Were you guys up on the Andrew Tate saga?
All that stuff going down?
Yes.
I didn't know who the fuck that guy was.
I just watched his, not apology video.
Oh, you didn't catch any of him being, like, active on the internet?
No, he was always hilarious, I will say.
Dude, he is the best instigator I think I have ever seen.
He's a troll.
I don't believe he believes 100% of what he says.
No.
Not even close.
It is amazing watching.
I'm very fascinated in trolling.
Because trolling does something in media that is so hard to replicate.
Where you are
instigating the public and so you have all these people who like support what you do and they're
like yeah because like pretty much everyone here we all have platforms and people support what we
do and the people who fuck with you share your shit but the people who don't fuck with you just
ignore you when you are a great troll the people who don't fuck with you make content about you and they make content that
makes you even bigger so you have both sides of the coin making content about you and even though
people are making kind of about how they hate you it's still elevating you to this level where you
can superstardom in the last month oh yeah i've never heard of and then i nothing but everyone's
talking about him the nelk boys are interviewing and he's the guy to get and then of course now everything's taken away that's the problem with
trolling is eventually you get to this point where they like a bell dafien's another example where
they'll just de-platform you take you away your girl boss a little too close to the side exactly
take yeah but a lot of these people in that process andrew tate bell dafien alex jones whoever
the fuck you are that you're like in your your poke in the bear you make millions of dollars in the process so it's a it just kills
me with the free speech sort of thing because like i like i don't even necessarily agree with
the guy on most things well i don't know like i i can't stand these people who will like celebrate
people that are saying things they don't like getting deplatformed yes like i don't care who you are like i've never advocated for anybody to get deplatformed yeah it's like if you're an
idiot i think the best thing to do is let people listen to you and realize you're a fucking idiot
you let them hang themselves absolutely that's like that's kind of the the course of action
and eventually the good ideas don't require force thing yeah all of them i find all of them
eventually do all of them eventually will hang themselves and they uh because people the usually you have this front that you put up that's well uh calculated but then
once people get you like a long-form interview or they question your ideas things start to fall
apart uh but it is just wild to watch like is there a way to take that take the concept of
trolling and either do it to a point where right before
you get to that deep platform thing you switch your views or you change it so you don't or to
get people instigated on something that doesn't yeah they do it all the fucking time ethan klein
i dubs all of them just get super fucking edgy they blow up super super big and then they do a
180 they move to fucking la and then they pretend to be super woke and it's like no no no no i remember you saying the n-word like 80 fucking times a video like
four fucking years ago and now you're calling somebody else a piece of shit like hold on
yeah it happens a lot because they yeah youtube's big on that they pull back up the ladder they're
like oh no i know i got here by being like you know edgy as shit but you can't do that because
that's wrong and oppressive to women and minorities it is it's
a wild thing to watch like to to be able to do that it's uh like i i find it fascinating i'm
fat i was following him all along the way because it's to capture the public consciousness like that
is a hard thing to do media is everywhere and constantly getting fed to you and to have someone
who's like i am everything you're watching every time you're scrolling tiktok or something you're seeing me it was wild speaking of trolls getting into like the
the the media i don't know zeitgeist whatever you'd say uh sam hyde after this last fight
holy shit with him calling out hassan piker oh my god yes that thing i was like
hassan piker i'll fucking kill him.
In the ring, right?
No, in real life.
Did you see that?
No, no, I don't know.
Oh, it's fucking hilarious.
I haven't, because Sam Hyde had that million dollar something something TV show.
Sam Hyde was looking like he was going to be one of the next big comedic guys.
And then he even did that TED talk where he was trolling the whole TED talk talk and then he like disappeared didn't he have like some breakdown or something like that
oh no he's always just been a little unhinged with the trolling like yeah here was the here
was the hassan uh the fight he did a boxing match and then hassan is a twitch person right
yeah who did he fight uh something thompson there's like another personality creator yeah
this is him calling out his son
Very funny, that's very funny in or in the ring right no
you're like oh i was giving you an out bro i saw one it was like breaking bad where it's like
walt like yelling through the door like oh no like through the car door it's like
sam hyde fans saying like no tell him in the ring i'll wear your i'll wear your skin as a coke like the traditional irish did
dude he goes off on and you're like didn't they cut it they like pulled the mic away from him
yeah so who because
the ksi just fought right so it was part of that yeah so who did ksi fight i'm actually not sure
because i didn't hear about this at all i just saw ksi call out andrew tate and say that he
wanted to fight i saw that too yeah and uh what's his name is fucking fighting anderson silva jake
paul is fighting anderson silva what no shit yeah yeah
that's the fuck that just got announced today or yesterday yeah okay yeah they're gonna fight um
and anderson obviously anderson silva fought uh hector chavez jr or something like that and beat
the shit out of him so i don't know that'd be an interesting one to watch silva's older like
for fighting he's he's older but he He's a fucking fighter, master class fighter.
That would be...
Man, these YouTubers are making money.
I want to do one of these creator fights so fucking bad.
If anybody like iDubbbz, KSI out there,
I will fight for very little money.
I'll do the same.
And I've never boxed or fought in my life.
You've got to create a beef.
Clearly not.
Start calling out another creator.
Who could you fight?
I want to just fight Hasan.
I don't even care if I lose.
I just kind of want to hit him.
Not go to jail.
I would drop to whatever weight class
to make any fight possible.
Where are we going?
I fought at 138.
I never fought at 138.
He's never boxed. It's like this dude. All my Hollywood videos would be Yeah, I fought at 138. I'd never fought at 138
All my videos would be me just being a piece of shit and tele got that ring I'm like no we're fucking going hard I don't have that. I don't have really problems with many content creators
So it's like really hard for me to like call out somebody that I'm like I want to
Well his toilet spins backwards, I mean
Mean whether or not we're gonna do a thing broader spectrum
The head can we tell that story?
Fucking well we could just tell the facts of the story. That's perfectly fine.
Brandon, Cody, this is your story time.
I was not a part of this.
Okay.
So, yeah.
I get contacted by a friend of mine who's big in the YouTube business on the back end.
Who's like, hey, there's these guys.
I did a thing who want to come down and do a video where they want to attach a machine gun to a robot dog sick and i'm like
fucking dope okay so they had a dog that was like in the san antonio area and he's like huh well i
know a guy who's got machine guns in san antonio who's also a youtuber it could be like a collab
thing like i'm like oh cool yeah whatever like we'll we'll go down and do it and like william
osmond came out like i fucking like i think it's really cool i did a thing we hung out with these dudes for like two
or three days and filmed this and i know they're australian and i know that they've you know they've
done some other stuff that's like kind of like anti-police stuff or whatever but i'm like okay
well that doesn't matter like this is still a cool fucking video like and they were really chill to
hang with yeah and then they released like a complete fucking hit piece video that was like
they they kind of lied a little bit misrepresented us like what they had put up like little kid targets and
like claimed it was like our idea or whatever and like it was really just kind of fucked up and they
even opened the video like in front of uvalde like really made it like a fucking like american gun
laws are retarded kind of bit jesus and they didn't tell you they were doing any of this beforehand
no no just incredibly nice they were super nice and then i well then i released a video after
showing like well i didn't really know about all that but we'll get to that later but in the
meantime here's a compilation of them enjoying the shit out of all of my like guns and ammo and
range time that we didn't charge them for yeah like it was several thousand like yeah i thought
we were buddies in this whole thing and that and now we're right
And I'm my whole thing was like I wouldn't have I wouldn't have censored you like I would have let you do whatever you wanted
To do I just like would have been nice to know about it before you yeah
If you had came down like oh we want to do a critique on gun laws and that kind of stuff
Then it's like okay. Well, then we can have a discussion about it and like that's actually a lot more interesting
Yeah, like let's have a discussion and I'll still let you film whatever you want
Yeah, like I'm not gonna tell you what you can I can't film. Yeah, let's have a discussion and I'll still let you film whatever you want. Yeah. Like, I'm not going to tell you what you can and can't film.
Yeah.
Let's just like, let's be honest with each other.
Yeah.
And that caused an absolute shitstorm in their comments.
Like that video.
Yeah.
Pretty much all of their top comments on their video are just like, you guys are pieces of shit for doing this.
Yeah.
Because that is a fucked up thing to do to be completely two faced.
And it's all editing.
Right.
So you can make anyone look like a piece of shit through editing music all this kind of shit like that's what happened yeah and
it's like yeah yeah i showed sav their video first because this and this was two days ago i was like
watch this video and she was like okay she's like man what the fuck is this this is so weird watching
she just seen there i was like okay like now watch brandon's she's like just seen there. I was like, okay. Like now watch Pranin's.
She's like, what the fuck, babe?
I was like, now let's go back to the original video and read the comments.
That was one of my favorite things to do for a minute.
I was just sitting there reading the comments. Cause it's like, I, cause I really did play the high road.
Cause that's just the best.
Like you don't want to get into YouTube drama.
Cause nobody cares about that.
It's just, I don't want to be a part of all that.
But it was nice to know that like, okay, I'm not crazy. They were actually just fucking us. Yeah. It's just, I don't want to be a part of all that, but it was nice to know that like,
okay,
I'm not crazy.
They were actually just fucking us.
Yeah.
That sucks.
I've talked to the guy since like,
he's like,
he's apologized and a bunch of other shit.
So like,
I'm not like,
it is still funny.
It's fucking slimy.
Yeah,
no,
it is a slimy thing to do.
It is a slimy thing.
Slimiest moose.
Oh,
side note,
fucking wheels came in.
I think I told,
I don't know.
I told you.
Speaking of slimy.
Oh, I didirted on you
Actually have a story I have a question for you
It's one of your top comments about the girl that can squirt.
Oh, tell your story.
There's nothing, nothing to report.
Oh, dang it.
It was a good one.
If it was, I would have told you.
I would have told you.
Yeah.
I was like, I know that because like Sam was bringing those.
Like, oh, this is fucking great.
No.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The, the, um, for anyone who doesn't, do you want it?
You want me to just go for it?
Go for it.
It's way better. So
Creator on tick tock
Made a video about someone was like, what do you do for work?
And she's a big like OnlyFans creator and she it was just her basically
I don't even you can't be called dancing
It was just her reacting to this music that goes squirt squirt squirt squirt
hardcore squirt
synchronized squirt squirt squirt squirt hardcore squirt synchronized squirt and I
Commented on that video. I was like I was like, oh, I didn't know you could do that. That's pretty neat
He responded saying oh I can show you sometime
And so I made a video like breaking down what happened and she responded with another video but nothing has happened from there there's been no yeah there's been no no i have not seen
you're like i'm in i'm not in i'm not in sign me up please your content is so
like i'm like man this man found a fucking a fucking rhythm on TikTok and it's fucking working.
Well, like I've always liked making like my comedy, my standup is there's a lot of stuff about sex and dating and stuff like that.
And I've been doing standup.
Like I only started doing TikTok to get more people to come out to shows.
Like I've been doing standup for almost 10 years.
Oh, God.
And I started doing TikTok seriously in December of 2020.
But I've always done a lot of jokes about sex and stuff.
And personally, I find that stuff.
I find it funny how little we talk about because everyone's doing it.
It's fine if people want to be private.
Speak for yourself.
I don't know where we can talk about right now.
So I'm just like, ha ha.
Yeah.
Anyway. can talk about right now so i'm just like haha yeah anyway but people be fucking people be fucking so it's always been something i i talk freely about and i think it comes across natural
because i'm not trying to force it it's just like i'm like yeah everyone's fucking being
explorative with sex is a normal thing for people to do.
So it shouldn't be as taboo.
And it's also there's a lot of funny bits in it because sex has all these weird, intricate interactions between people.
And it is a core motivator for a lot of things.
Oh, yeah.
It's just kind of like the same vibe, I think, is dark humor.
Yeah.
It's like these are things that at fucking cocktail dinners, you're not going to fucking talk about.
Yeah.
But it's funny because
it is a shared experience or shared observations or patterns or whatever and everybody's like
well we can't really talk about this all the time but it's funny when somebody else brings it up
it's way easier with booze too way easier with booze the sex is like both dark humor and sex
but louis was just talking about this on a podcast about how with comedy like you're like so many things have been taken out of context.
You guys have this probably happen all the time.
We're all creators here.
You,
you put something out there.
Someone takes a snippet of it and they,
yes,
you have something blown up because you're taking out of where,
where it happened.
And within the walls of a comedy club
there is an understanding like everything we say here is a joke everything we understand this is a
performance words for example exactly um witcher yes god of war these are game words right brandon
no oh okay i know what you're talking about then but uh
but that but keeping it within the context those things make sense and that's what the dark humor
thing is every like making dark jokes or anything with your friends like uh like we've a bunch of
dudes have always said of like the group chats get released we're all fucked but we'll all be
in oh we're all we're all done if the group chats get over all fucking just canceled prison
no yeah oh yeah we are but because within the context of that you understand what we're talking
about everyone gets that it's a joke it's not meant to be brought out in front of people in
a situation where it would offend them we get it i wish other people got that same mindset i think
it's like everybody well i think that's what started all the woke bullshit is everybody
stopped caring about context yeah like are you actually trying to like fucking harass somebody
or are you making a joke yes because there is a huge fucking difference like when it comes to
language when it comes to just all sorts of shit it's like what are you trying to accomplish with
what you're saying because there's a chance you could be offensive on accident,
but at the same time,
it's like,
but if you apologize,
you're like,
Oh,
I didn't mean it that way.
Like,
and if you,
and like within a concept of like a friendship,
that's the,
you know,
totally normal or whatever,
but you can really say whatever the fuck you want as a joke.
And it,
it has a totally different connotation as if you're like shouting someone down or doing
something like those are two totally different things.
Absolutely.
And this generation has lost that.
Yeah. Any meaning, miney mo black people. Am I right? Versus Someone down or doing it like those are two totally different things so and this generation has lost that yeah
any meaning my Nemo black people am I right versus
Punching you in the face
One is like oh if I can blah blah blah yeah
My n-word versus my n-word this totally different fucking thing. Yeah, I completely did with that.
Same sentence, different context.
Cody's flying away.
He's uncomfortably disappearing.
On that beautiful note, thank you for watching
this episode of Unsubscribe.
Here with Eli DoubleFab,
Che, and Donut Operator,
and myself, Brandon
Baberba. Where can we find you
at, bro? Oh, you can find me on all platforms
at che durena everything little dinky news on twitch um but yeah every other platform is just
che durena c-h-e-d-u-r-e-n-a and then wait let's fuck it all oh when's this when's this coming out
we got you bro so you can do some fucking announcements. The 7th. The 7th?
Do you have any shows coming up past the 7th?
On September 8th, I'm going to be in Scarsdale, New York.
September 14th, I'm going to be in Irvine, California.
And September 28th, I'm going to be in Ontario, California.
So all those, you can get tickets at chaderana.com.
Through any of my links in bio, you'll find that.
Boom!
Go check them out.
Have fun. Dude, thank you so much. You're fucking intelligent and shit. Good time. Adarena.com through any my links in bio you'll find that boom go check them out
Fucking intelligent time good time. Yeah, good time with guess. Oh yeah comments description below click on shit right now
How's being homeless Cody? It's pretty great. How's yeah as being Mexican? I read it in your eyes. I didn't want to say it out loud. I saved it in the context.
F***.
Thanks for watching, guys!
See you next episode!
Oh.
Well, that was great, guys.