Unsubscribe Podcast - 71 - Subtember Brain Nut ft. Brandon Herrera

Episode Date: September 14, 2022

HEY CHAT BRAINS HORNGY. ok i had to, WELCOME BACK AK BOI, OPERATOR BRONUT IS OUT OF TOWN SO WE HAD TO TAP IN EVERYONES FAVORITE SUB!! HOW ABOUT THAT THUMBNAIL GO CHECK OUT AK DADDY BRANDON!! @Brandon Herrera https://www.youtube.com/c/BrandonHerrera https://www.instagram.com/realbrandonherrera Get 20% OFF @manscaped + Free Shipping with promo code UNSUB at MANSCAPED.com! #ad #manscapedpod ------------------------------ OUR MERCH: https://www.bunkerbranding.com/pages/unsubscribe-podcast JOIN THE PATREON NOW: https://www.patreon.com/UnsubscribePodcast WE HAVE A SUBREDDIT??? https://www.reddit.com/r/UNSUBSCRIBEpodcast/ CHECK OUT https://outofregz.com/ CODE: UNSUB http://gfuel.com/discount/baddie CODE: BADDIE ------------------------------ WHERE TO LISTEN Spotify https://spoti.fi/2Ye8YOU Apple Podcasts https://apple.co/3cbqY4k Amazon https://amzn.to/2YbzQia Google Play https://bit.ly/2YcWmaD Stitcher https://bit.ly/3cbnY8o MORE LINKS! https://linktr.ee/UnsubscribePodCast ------------------------------ Follow the Cast of Unsubscribe -Baddie- @Baddie Streams https://www.twitch.tv/baddie https://twitter.com/BaddieStreams https://www.instagram.com/baddiestreams/ https://www.youtube.com/baddiestreams -DonutOperator- @Donut Operator @Operation Donut https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwkm_Wcyh0pc7UUmZZfL-6w https://www.instagram.com/donutoperator/ https://www.twitch.tv/DonutOperator https://twitter.com/DonutOperator -Eli_Doubletap- @Eli Doubletap https://www.instagram.com/eli_doubletap/ https://www.twitch.tv/Eli_Doubletap https://twitter.com/Eli_Doubletap https://www.youtube.com/c/EliDoubletap ------------------------------ Edited by Fluck https://www.twitch.tv/fluck twitchcon 2022 reaction Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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terms apply. Instacart. Groceries that over-deliver. Why did you crack it? I didn't crack it. I watched you. I cracked it too. Wait, hold on. Cody leaves and this family falls apart.

He is the glue that keeps us together. We are very shitty glue, keeps us together. We are very shitty glue, all of us. Now we're just gonna have to rely on the silence to be silent for the podcast. Holy shit! We love Cody. We love you, Cody!

Say hi to Eli He's racially ambiguous and batty That guy's fucking ridiculous donut that's harder to rhyme but he's a really nice guy welcome to unsubscribe hey guys thanks for watching this podcast um make sure wherever you're listening or watching whether it's on youtube uh castro spotify apple google amazon podbean stitcher or that's all of them please leave a comment uh like it thumbs up it give it a rating of five stars

whatever you do it helps the podcast out immensely and donut and eli will be very happy if you do that and we want to make donut eli happy today yeah, five stars on everything and a comment if there is possible because we need to be at the top. Don't say something motivating. And that's where the you come. That is come subscribe. We should have just put a chair there. And the normal space. So it's like a donut hat hanging on the chair. Just a fishing string for one bit. Hi, everyone. Welcome to Unsubscribe Podcast. I'm once again joined by Eli Double Tap,

Batty Streams, and your boy, Brandon Herrera. And the ghost of donut. Oh, and then... I opened a new one for that. I didn't. There you go flood Maddie you're back a lot of mosquitoes in this house Baddies back hi

Brandon you're here. I am yeah, you sat there last time so everything you said reflects on baddie. I hope so I'm gonna go see if Donut needs help. Sorry, guys. No Donut today. He had something pop up and he had to leave. Yeah. He hates you. He told me.

He said, I specifically hate everybody that listens to this podcast. Fuck you all. And fuck you. I have to go do family stuff. He has to be a father. Not to any of you because you're not his children. Remember that, because I feel like sometimes you get that confused, guys. Our audience never gets that confused.

Yeah, AK Daddy. They have great relationships with their fathers. AK Daddy, will you be my father? Will you be my daddy? Pretty sure you literally could be my dad. I mean, we literally have. Age or what? Yeah. I think that actually checks out.

Are you 24 or 26? 26? God, they're growing up so quick. I mean we literally had age or what yeah How that actually checks out are you 24 or 5? 6 God, they're I hope I want a I mean no I didn't hit puberty until like 21 Okay, no no that's not quite My son wasn't you'd be a fucking stud in middle school, like just walking around. Have you seen my seed? Youngest father in the world. Nine year old. That's impressive.

How you dropping? There are two recorded 11 year old fathers. There's also a 10 year old father in the US. One of them's right here. Have you met my son? Brandon. Hello. My name is Brandon Cuevas. No, no's Indian a Native American now. Oh that's true.

Whoa bro fucking handsome. Hey hey feathers not dots bud. Yeah bro calm the fuck down over there. I'm sorry. Pocahontas no no hotel chain here. Apparently your boy we did the DNA thing. I'm 21% Native American which is way bigger than I thought. I was like, it's going to be a little. 20% Native American,

20% Mexican, 20% Japanese. Asian. The Filipino. You're Filipino? Yeah, the dirty Asian. What? You've been lying to us this whole time?

I never said I was Japanese. You did. So you were scratching. I thought you were going to make a fucked up joke with the eye thing. I was waiting for it. I was going to do like 20, 20, 20 in the last like 20 and there was going to be an autistic joke in there, but it's gone now.

Cause you've been lying to us about being Japanese this entire time. I say the poor Asian every time. No one's ever been like, the poor Asian, the Japanese. You know, the Betty son, a hero. You literally said you're Japanese. I seriously thought Japanese this entire time. Really? Yeah, cause you've said it. I've never said it.

No. Fucking clip me saying that one time. I always say the poor Asian. All right. I know timestamp you guys in here. Yeah. And I'm sure, guys, go back in the podcast.

This is your homework today. In the comments below, leave a timestamp in a previous podcast where Eli said he was Japanese. One of you autistic motherfuckers knows the timestamp off the top of their head.

As a Japanese man, I'm offended that Batty is wearing a cultural appropriation of our society. The fucking cartoon Joker shirt? Demon Slayer? It's anime. That's offensive to me now. I never watched Demon Slayer. Batty started this podcast with a headdress on. I told him no.

It's been offensive the entire time Once he found out my genetic traits Like this is a battery what are you doing? Doing that on stream now like multiple times And then Eli Whenever I talk about Eli I'm just like And Eli And the hands go up man New spell cast

No there's spirit fingers bro There's spirit fingers I'm getting ready to dance So how much more native Are you than Elizabeth Warren Oh man How many times more native Yeah what is the percentage

And why can't you open a casino Or can you I wonder with that percentage Hold on Google Cause that was the biggest thing I was like Oh that's like a Once you hit a certain percentage And mine was the biggest thing I was like oh that's like once you hit a certain percentage and mine was like

bam I was like what the why the fuck is this a thing I don't even know this you go through that and you're like just surprised of everything you're like eh the fuck okay Spaniard makes a lot of sense Mexican people just a whole

bunch of Native American did not know. My family was like, nah, none of that. I'm going to try to, now I'm going to try to buy your Porsche with shiny beads. Why are you giving me pillows and blankets that smell weird? Oh, no. Is that a small box? Yeah. I don't know.

We did that. My first four Google results did not give me any information. And I'm not actually going to read or look into this because I hope not. During the podcast, that's what we do for an hour and 10 minutes. All right. This one says 19%, but this one over here says 21. Maybe we can split the difference. The title of the episode is Can Eli Open a Casino Legally?

I almost Googled that exactly. Can Eli Open a Casino? I'm distracted by the conversation. Can Eli open a casino? I'm like distracted by the conversation. I almost, can Eli open a casino? Yes. Thank you, Google. It's like the magic fucking con shelf in Spongebob. Wait, two seconds. Huh? Wait.

Oh yeah, buddy. Yep. I'm good. Is mine going up or down, baddie? So help me God. No. Okay. Is it going up? down, Batty? So help me God. Now. Okay. Is it going up? Okay, we're good. Okay.

Cody's mic's on the floor and it's getting all sorts of weird fucking feedback. Oh, yeah. So I just muted him. Dude, Batty doing his job. Five minutes into the post. Seven minutes into the post. Making sure my mic is on. Seven minutes into the podcast. To be fair, it wasn't that it wasn't on.

It wasn't plugged in. I literally didn't pull shit Because the previous one, it got left on the table And it was plugged in And it was in front of the camera So I just unplugged it so we didn't fuck that up again To make all of the audio weird It works super good

And then we drank a lot at brunch and came to film Oh no, I didn't even drink a lot that day That was the day I was half asleep because I didn't sleep before oh yeah you were just i was like a zombie yeah you had like one red bull and you're like this is how i'm okay i woke up i drove safe this is what we're doing today so we got fucking i don't even know what you've been doing everyone's just been out and about doing random shit video games this month, you got tattooed. You were doing... What were you filming yesterday?

Can you even discuss that? Oh, what was I filming? Oh, yeah. We were doing... We were helping somebody with... In the political sphere with a documentary they were doing on like American gun stuff. Ooh. So it was nice to actually have some, you know, relatively like-minded people as far

as guns go. Yeah, really. And not getting fucked over by random Australians. Can we talk about that? I think we did. Yeah, we did a little. Oh, I wasn't here. Yeah, it was the last one you missed. And we briefly went over like, oh, yeah, it just looks like you.

That's so fucking scummy, man. Yeah, it's like their entire continent was just a bunch of felons when it started. Who would have figured? Yeah, it's like their entire continent was just a bunch of felons when it started Figured you seen that that picture of the Queen were like she's at like customs or whatever like trying to get into Australia Excuse me ma'am. Do you have a criminal record? No? Do I still need one to get in? Do you guys have our come subscribe that band what was it Slayer? Uh Reaper of the Slayer It was not fucking Slayer Dude it was Slayer as a hundred princesses

System of a death It was like no It was Reaper of Reaper of No! No! Was it just Reaper of I said it was a brunch? This was a brunch joke. I said it was a brunch joke.

We totally didn't go all the way to the chorus of chop suey pretending we were downy kids. In public. Dude, detergent kids is what we call them. Detergent? Oh no. I love that was a slow joke where it's like one, two, oh. detergent What was the name of the panty lie which one I'm mad at him so I look at you that I'm like, oh, you're you. Why are you mad at me? Why are you mad at me? Where's Cody in his silence? Where's his judgmental silence?

I'm going to go back to my stream room. You guys have fucking fun. Reaper. That's the band's name. Path of Victory. There it is. They had a show and it was uploaded to the Reddit page and it's just them yelling, come, come. Because one of the guys.

It was like the drummer had a come subscribe shirt on i was like my man with that don't find no one will ever wear this everyone's stage oh god i just like it's a whole audience yelling come yeah that was pretty i mean everybody likes come yeah guys girls chicks love come dudes love to come some dudes love come i don't judge hey man that much everybody does love come holy shit that's what that's what binds us together literally it creates life holy shit yeah all right the ether of life that brings us all together is the band is this i don't like it's the ether of life I can't even Change his Final Fantasy storyline

Drastically Every Joker sentence I want to make I just think like Come Fucking child You're like oh no God I fucking love it Yeah they had a whole

And they're heavy ass metalcore Australian hardcore The Circle Pit they have a lot of titles the circle pit dude circle pits are just a bunch of dudes skipping think about it they're just skipping circle pits you ever seen dudes running around they're just

skipping everyone get in the fucking middle let's fucking go let's fucking skip yeah fucking ring around the rosie that's literally what it is dude to be fair ring around the posy. That's literally what it is, dude. To be fair, ring around the rosy is one of the fucking most metal songs in existence. I know I've heard why I don't remember. Explain it for the podcast.

Because it's about the plague. The black plague? The black plague, yeah. Ring around the rosy. Pocket full of posies because that was just a thing during the plague. Yeah. Ashes, ashes. Burn the fucking corpses

ashes to ashes we all fall down like you're like oh yeah that was a kid's song about fucking dying dude all those old actually back when we had a real pandemic that like killed a third of europe yeah your local benjamin moore retailer is more than a paint expert. There's someone with paint in their soul. A sixth sense honed over decades. And if you have a question about paint, it's almost as if they can read your mind. I sense you need a two-inch angle brush for the trim in your family room, regal select in an eggshell finish,

and directions to the post office. Benjamin Moore paint is only sold at locally owned stores. Benjamin Moore, see the love. locally owned stores. Benjamin Moore. See the love. I literally kept that. And that was that fast one. Also, why it didn't last as long is because it just kills you, which is the biggest thing where it's like humanity was like literally retarded. We were filthy.

The shit we were trying to do. It's like, oh, I mean, it's these stray cats that are carrying the plague. So we kill all the cats because they're a sign of bad luck and they were eating the rats. You have a headache. Let's just bleed the bad blood out of you real quick. Give it all that extra.

I've opened my meat market next to the horse's stall. Come try the meat. And you're like, ah, this is what happened. That's the Decker. I need to use Decker cane for that one. Honestly, yeah, that's fitting. Would you like my meat? I hate

your Decker cane voice more than all your other voices. Ignore the loud horses next door, baddie. It was good property. We get a good deal on here. Ignore the fact that it's a mortuary. The meat's great, bro. It's unrelated to the meat, I promise.

These prices, we're slashing prices that will kill you. Video game related talk. Physically. Now it's gone. Because of this, it's gone. Matty, why are you wearing Japanese shirts? I love anime! You're not Japanese.

Why do we still use forks and spoons? Matty, please take that shirt off. You're offending me. The guy who just went on a long fucking tangent about not being fucking Japanese. He's Tanjiro and he looks white. Are you a samurai? We're going to be able to go back

and watch this section and be like, this is what it's like beating a dead horse. Yep. This is all it's still going. Great. More horses for the meat block. See, it comes back around. Loops back around.

It's dead, but you just can't let it fucking die, Eli. Can talk about cum some more. Honestly, I would love to. That's the next stall over. You racist piece of shit. Can I see your water form attack? We'll just let you keep going. Are you done? I don't know how long this bit can go.

Thank you. I needed it for the bit. Now I'll hand it to the racist baddie I'm getting a migraine again I don't get those I'm sort of thinking It's after I talk to Eli I get migraines I was fine last night then all of a sudden Eli started texting me about the podcast

Got a migraine that's so crazy That's so crazy Stress induced I like it So what was your video I don't remember That's so crazy. That's so crazy. Stress induced. I like it. So what was your video game topic? I don't remember. I was excited to talk about a video game thing. Okay. Is it Pokemon?

Nope. It's definitely MonsterCon. Pokemon's coming out soon. Scarlet and Violet. Super excited. Can't wait. But that's not until November. What is going on in video games right now?

There's really not a lot. Pretty garbage right now. Cold Blim's still fun. I play Tarkov once a week for two hours. Do a scav run and then fucking hang it up. Hanging up my goggles. Yep, pretty much. God of War, the new one.

That's the only thing I'm really excited for. What about that? Xenoblade. Dunkey got fucking shit on for doing donkeys Young he does get shit on a lot though. You've donkey troll lover hate donkey that there's no donkey He just does the most fucking absurd reviews. Okay. Oh, yeah, okay I think he's talked about it before yeah, I was like he's the guys like fucking masterpiece greatest game ever three out of five stars He will never game again perfect score He did like four out of five once but everything else is like one star one star, but he shit on the new Xeno

blade Xeno blade 3 came out and Twitter did not like that. He's not a fan. I like that. Yeah, well we talked about dude the new fucking Lord of the Rings is apparently not doing I love it. Is it good? so So far. Oh my biggest complaint is there's a weird bit of animation. You'll see to me immediately Where they're just they were doing like like fight scene stuff, and they clearly went from Practical to animated back to practical that's kind of odd just cgi it's not bad cgi but it's it's not fluid cgi and you can you can be like all right whatever kind of that matrix too kind

of like yes unnatural yes 100 it's just one small fucking section of a small of a smaller fight scene but it's early on in the first fucking episode if only they had a lot of time and a billion dollar budget to make sure that didn't happen. I will say from that one thing, though, I'm absolutely loving the show. People are complaining because it doesn't follow the lore and motherfucker. If I could strangle every idiot that thinks Sauron was a glowing red eye for the entire Fellowship of the Ring trilogy because he never was. He was a real person the whole time.

But Peter Jackson made him a glowing eyes and everyone thought he will. He didn't have a body. That's why he did. No, he was a nine fingered a real person the whole time but Peter Jackson made him a glowing eyes and everyone thought he will He didn't have a body. That's why he did. No. He was a nine fingered fucking his tower the whole time Don't get me started on Lord of the Rings fucking shit, man. I was mmm. I was going off on stream It's doing okay on IMDB. I Generally doing it look six point eight out of ten, but look at the Rotten Tomato Okay, look at Rotten Tomato and that is like the lore. Yes. And that is, like, the lore, yes, they couldn't do, based off of Salmonella, the, the, uh, The Salmonella? The Salmonella, well, J.R.R. Tolkien.

The Salmonella? The Salmonella. J.R.R. Tolkien doesn't allow, the state wouldn't sell the ride, so you can't fucking touch it. Like, you can literally, Amazon cannot touch it. Well, because I think they need the permission of the family, right? Yeah. The Tolkien Foundation. I thought they I think they need the permission of the family, right? Yeah Yeah, which the Tolkien Foundation got that only for Lord of the Rings letters Right. No. No. No, they have permission for a lot of it. No letters, but not the salmonella

Silmarillion demure alien blah Salmonella Salmonella. Salmonella. The Salmonella. I'm pretty sure they do. Yeah, so audience score is 39% on Rotten Tomatoes. The average score is 85%. Yeah, the critic score sucks. That's usually when I know when to not watch a movie, is when the critic score is very high and the audience score is low. That's when I'm like, all right, I'm out.

Yeah, that's when I read that and I was like, oh. They have rights to The Silmarillion, yes. They do? Not all, but there's, okay, I'm out. Yeah, that's when I read that I was like they have rights to the Silmarillion Yes, they do not all about there's okay. So yes, and the reason it's different like everybody fucking I don't know man Like this shit hurts the hell out of me because everyone's so feels like the the Felicity of the Ring trilogy is so precious They changed so much shit Glorfindel one of most important characters in Lord of fucking rings in elvish Throughout the second and third age Super fucking important He's not in the movie at all

They replaced him with Arwen or Elrond or Gandalf Or Strider, Aragorn So they're going to change shit And in ten years they're like Oh it's a great show Now everybody has access to Twitter Now everybody has access to the internet Now everybody wants to fucking hate

Because it's fun to do that. Sometimes things deserve to be fucking hated on. That's fair. Yeah, that's fair. I do think they're a little too... I've enjoyed several movies that people have kind of shit on, but I can't think of one off the top of my head. Well, usually, well, some of them I actually really enjoyed.

My first time watching it in theaters, I enjoyed that Rian Johnson Star Wars movie. What was it? Rogue One? No, the episode eight. Oh, I absolutely loved it in theaters. I loved it in theaters, and then I thought about it.

And then I started hearing people complain about it. I'm like, fuck, that's right. Oh, fuck, that is kind of universe-breaking. Not The Last Jedi. Oh, damn. Not The Last Jedi. Second. Yeah, it was the last Jedi.

Because it was the Rise of Skywalker. That I hated in theaters. When it comes to things like that. Fuck it, I guess. That's the only explanation we have. I just like they followed the exact same formula for all the Star Wars movies. Like, we need another Death Star, then we need another Death Star.

Yeah, make a bigger Death Star. I don't care, man. I'm not there to give a fuck about the lore. I just want to have a good... Dude, if you... Stop thinking about it. You had fun in the theaters. I don't give a fuck.

I'm there for a good time. There were several... When they did the hyperspace through the ship, I was like, that was one of those beautiful fucking scenes, dude. And then I'm like, click, click, click, click, click. Fuck. That makes no sense. And then I'm like, click, click, click, click, click. Fuck.

That makes no sense. Because it comes down to like, why aren't they just attaching hyperdrive engines to rocks? Because that breaks the whole universe. You're like, oh, yeah, shit. It's the same for aliens. It's like the new, like, what's up? Oh, fuck. Aliens.

Prometheus. Yeah, Prometheus. Prometheus, you're like're like oh it's fun but then you start breaking down everything you're like fucking god like that's why i live happily in ignorant bliss like i don't give a fuck dude start making movies and understanding like script format that will piss you off and then like when you're setting up shots all like that's what kills me i'm like i mean that's why we're never gonna have books like lord of the rings ever again the color palette the original lord of the rings books were just like tolkien released like that's what kills me too it's like it's

harry potter did i will say like you can love and hate her and how far absolutely the books themselves books and then the shows they did really fucking good. They're like, hey, here's this. We'll just kind of stick true to this format. We'll make billions of dollars and fucking cash out and walk away. And then you have the flip side video game shit where it's video game movies. I swear you would have a blockbuster if you just followed a formula one fucking time. Like Netflix Resident Evil. Like, dude, just follow the fucking games. That is such an enigma.

Why can Hollywood not just make a video game movie? Because the video games that are good don't push the message. So they have to bring in a writer who has to be, you know, fully original. And I'm going to do my own spin on it. Despite the fact that nobody wants that. Also, everyone is now race and gender swapped. Netflix, give me $100 million. Thank you.

I'm going to go do blow now. I'll be back. From commutes that become learning sessions to dishwashing filled with laughs, podcasts can help you make the most out of your everyday. And when it comes to everyday spending, you can count on the PC Insider's World Elite MasterCard to help you earn the most PC Optimum points everywhere you shop on the PC Insider's World Elite MasterCard to help you earn the most PC Optimum points everywhere you shop. The PC Insider's World Elite MasterCard, the card for living unlimited.

Conditions apply to all benefits. Visit PCFinancial.ca for details. I've burnt $60 million on blow. $40 million is going to underpaying this cast of gender swap people. Women, we can pay less, and you're like oh no he turned out to be the enemy we gender swapped everyone because as it turns out it saved us some you know saved us about 27 percent per employee and that's how you get she-hulk i haven't watched it oh i i've seen all i need to i've seen

like okay there is one thing i will say because i've just heard it's terrible it's boring as fuck that's the main thing people were freaking out about the twerking thing which i didn't i was like did she twerk yeah she told there's a full scene of just yeah she hulk is just i'm gonna watch it now yeah i'm all i'm here for some some fucking green pud it's it's bad like it is like it is 2004 fucking cgi at best oh it's grad it's bad green fucking torrent i have seen pc games do better and and i'm not fucking lying well the main thing like my takeaway was like oh people freak out about that shit I'm just like Everyone in the Iron Man's dance

Everyone's danced in the universe We don't know her She hasn't done any fucking thing The show's apparently Really boring You can definitely tell It's talking about the struggles of being a woman A single woman in your 30s

Like I thought this was about Fucking fighting aliens and robots and shit I don't care Dude in your 30s that's your prime Especially as a girl that's the easiest time to get laid As a guy it's the easiest time to get laid So true

This is being single at 30 Is the best time of your life. That is not a- I have time. It only gets better. Brandon stop floating. No. Okay. That makes me think of something. What video games have the best sex shit, like sex scenes in them?

Witcher. Cyberpunk. The same studio made both of those. have the best sex shit like sex scenes in them which are cyberpunk Okay, the same studio Cyberpunk had probably one of like I don't really care like what is the max effect right? Oh massive I had good ones to blue alien titties Let's go, but the tank scene the tank bit from cyberpunk 2077 remember that't remember that. You literally fuck in a tank. I gotta finish Cyberpunk. But there's like this weird thing where they're saying in their universe or whatever

like your pilot and co-pilot are connected through like a neural link or whatever so they're fucking while they're in a neural link and it's kind of wild. Oh, I'm gonna... Wait, you're in a neural... Is it cheating then? What do you mean? Wait, you're in a neuro Is it cheating then? What do you mean?

They're in each other's neural link already They're connected to each other They're brain fucking while real fucking Do you have to double cum? Probably What a conundrum Dude, I want a brain nut Yo

That's the name of this fucking episode Give want a brain nut. Yo! That's the name of this fucking episode. Brain nut. I know the thumbnail. It's our heads. It's like you're like this. You're like, oh my god, I'm gonna... Your face expands here. You're like, okay.

It's just swollen. You have a swollen... There's a lot of pressure. Maddie, this is why you have migraines I've been brain nutting way too much guys or am I not brain nutting enough no you're too much that's a new name for an epiphany I just had a

brain nut oh we got a new t-shirt there you go it's a light bulb that just says brain Design guys brain nut epiphany is now your worst or your mess. They're gonna just make a jizzy brain Do your best? For epiphany Oh Brandon you fucking genius. That's why you have that shirt right now Yeah, the you can't buy boys, but you can use that brain nut then he said epiphany. You're on epiphany Betty what?

Okay, sorry, we gotta praise baddie right now Don't touch me Obviously, I have body issues. You're not Japanese cuz it's been 28 minutes not 45. Okay, so What the fuck did I do yeah, he's going going to. I promise you. Why'd you fuck up your son, Kyle Sr.? Hey, baddie daddy. Baddie senior. Oh, here we are back to the internet having weird daddy problems with AK daddy, baddie daddy, granddaddy. Eli, I guess, is technically a daddy.

That is very hard to explain. Technically? Very hard to explain on a date, too. When somebody comes up to you like, oh my god, AK daddy? That is very hard to explain. Technically. Very hard to explain on a date, too. When somebody comes up to you like, oh my god, AK daddy. Like, fucking why? It's like, look, read the room, guys. This isn't Reddit.

Hold off for at least two more hours. Wait, is it the girl saying it? No. Oh, okay. My audience is entirely autistic men in their 20s. Dude, my son loves Brandon. And 30s. And 30s.

And 30s. Big fan. And some, well, they claim to be women. I know. We get like, when we- Usually accompanied by an anime profile. Oh my God. How many episodes ago that were like, we have no women that listen to us. The top section of our comments, all women.

They're like, bullshit. All women. They're like, oh, sorry. Okay, okay. We get it. I've gotten comments like that too when I say like, let's be honest. I'm like, ladies and gentlemen, let's be honest, gentlemen. They're like, well, stop disparaging the women in your audience.

I'm like, I'm not. I'm just making fun of the dudes. God. Calm the fuck down. Also, big shout out to Elboy find those things i boys what i was calling i texted because he it is i boy i call my boy when he's not gifting subs to piss him off oh you are okay because i was calling him my boy wow we are yeah i was going like if you ever put up i swear to god if you start a sentence with a lowercase l

fuck you if you're typing and you put a lowercase l at the start of a word or a sentence, it's an I! It's a capital I! Bad spelling, poor punctuation, and incorrect capitalization. That's just Twitch. Basic fucking shit. Like, I'm like, I'm sorry. I thought we all passed the fourth fucking grade. Well, I mean, Eli, you got a GD, so like that.

Some of us. Speak for your fucking self, buddy. That's how you know I was in Japanese, okay? And dropped out of high school. Do you remember when they forced cursive on us? Oh my God, yeah. What happened to cursive? It died like it should have before our generation.

I can't even tell you how to do... I was thinking about this literally two weeks ago. How to do like a B. Because you remember it's that up? Yeah. Well, of course I know how to do it. What happened to cursive? Dude, I could write that

for a new generation and they would all just be like, what is this? Dude, that's basically talking in code to a Gen Zers. Wait, is that what happened

to like hieroglyphics and shit? It's like just one generation all of a sudden was just like, nah, dad, what the fuck are you writing? I think that was

like a couple hundred and like a lot of years. A couple hundred years ago.? I think that was a couple hundred, a lot of years. A couple hundred years ago. I was going to say a couple hundred years. Silver war. A time period they used them. Where we learned about the assassination of Abraham Lincoln via hieroglyphics

on Ford's theater. I just pictured this. It's just a top hat with a fucking gunshot wound and an actor. Yeah, behind him like this and then this and then splatter. Okay, honestly, I like the idea of storytelling new events

with hieroglyphics. I really do like that idea. Oh God, I can only imagine what it would look like, the fucking Bill Clinton affair with the blue dress. In hieroglyphics in the White House. Just hands up. Oh my God, it's... I want us in hieroglyphics in the white house just hands up oh my god it's i want us in hieroglyphics no we don't yeah we do that's a fucking great i could tell so many better stories like that

you just want to be able to draw for like fuck yeah why do you like eat things the purple tastes better than the green Fuck yeah. France! Yay! Eli is happy again. Why don't Eli eat these? The purple tastes better than the green. Eli, you're in the army, not the marines. Stop it. Cultural appropriation. For the second time for any different culture. Fucking hell.

Racially ambiguous, you son of a bitches. Not anymore, actually. No. Holy fuck. You gotta take that out of the intro now. Yeah, now I'm racially accurate. You're racially biguous. Eli, he's racially biguous.

It doesn't flow off the tongue as good. He's racially specific now. Percentage is break down. It's just a chart. It's gotta be the Fallout-like fucking VAT system. He's racially specific Okay, we're gonna do something we've never done before minus entertaining episode Okay, calm yourself. Okay. That's episode 100 read. Yeah So welcome to the ad now unsubscribe is brought to you by manscape who is the best in men's below the waist grooming their products are precision engineered tools for your family jewels brandon stand up and show your family little jewels not again perfect thank you

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I didn't read that. That was from my memory, Brandon. Oh, shit. They come charged. The Performance Package 4.0 has arrived, and oh, man, is it a game changer. Show it off, Batty. Inside this package, you'll find their lawnmower 4.9 trimmer weed whacker ear and nose hair trimmer they they make ball powder crop preserver ball

deodorant okay i just magically got that at the exact same time crop reviver toner which i need to see it on his dude you put the ball toner on? I sprayed his balls. He actually did just spray my balls. They have ball toner. And I usually flat iron mine. This trimmer is the future of grooming. And dare I say, the greatest ball trimmer ever, which I actually did use that to trim my balls last night. I will say they have actually sponsored me before several times.

And I do unironically use Manscacape. It's pretty it's pretty good I've had the bad tremors Nick myself in my my hoo-ha area your hoo-ha. Yeah, I've But I don't know you have you guys nicked yourself is not comfortable really it's not good No, you're like oh god bad. Are you going to fucking aggressive, bro? Right now? He look and he's fine. Fluck punch in.

That is a lot of hair getting trimmed in there. Yeah, I got a lot. I'm a I'm a fuzzy dude. Cover your drinks. Just lean in and listen to the microphone. Let that microphone take that in. Careful, you're getting beard. That's's alright. There's a lot of beard. Oh, yeah, the trimmer is water resistant so you can say The trimmer is water resistant as your poor you're drinking while doing

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The ad read's over. Get 20% off and free shipping and watch. But now we cut to Batty eating a banana for three minutes. Batty, how much can you get you get oh i don't have a gag reflex that is the hottest thing i've seen all day unironically that yeah i already have i could have gone deeper yes how did you find out you don't have a gag reflex what was part trying to make myself puke when i was super hungover okay man it's okay what didn't you like about the ad read well afterwards baddie talked about deep throating a banana no that's after the ad read it's fine fuck man and we're good then

well next time let's maybe like condense it down to a minute and a half and not like run for 10 fucking minutes about ball cutting. Okay, first off. Or not ball cutting. Ball haircut. Four minutes and thirty seconds. I feel like it was longer than that. I don't know. I don't think they're going to pay us extra for those extra three minutes.

They're not going to. Hey, as long as the audience is happy. We're not getting paid by the hour over here. We're not getting paid at all. Actually, you're correct. Yeah, Brandon, you're free. We're free too. We haven't fucking... Oh yeah, we never take checks. I forget, never mind.

Why do we do this? Got that there. You know what the last thing I used those clippers on was? My MP5. What? The metal around the front side post is super like, p-like, p-likeatable so I was able to bend it a bunch and I couldn't get the snap. I used those and I

fucking snipped that shit off. What were you snipping? The front side post, the side pieces so I could get the what's the fucking word? I have a side post rail so I could put a light on an old school like retro frame. Got it. But it won't fit on a K so I had to remove part of the front

side post. You're like ghetto garage Gunsmithing is entertaining as hell to me. I lost the Dremel on the way in yeah I guess I was sitting out on the table like oh This was going nowhere good I was not doing anything bad in ATF. I don't have any dogs. Hey, Dumpy, Dumpy, come here. You're the consolation prize.

I'm going to put a service dog vest on Dumpy when you leave. No, I was trying to Dremel off the spikes. What's with that taxidermied dog full of tannerite? Oh, fuck. It's all that taxidermy dog full of Tannerite? I'm like, fuck! It's all one of those Tannerite. It's all one of the cleaners, the Hoover things. The Claymore Roomba? No, it's a Boomba.

I have one. A Boomba, yeah. Well, a fake one. I have a lot of real ones in my garage. I still think you need a taxidermy dog on your Broomba because it makes it way better. I actually want to build... I faked one for a video at one point We literally did like you know Tanner right on a room or whatever with a claymore on Like a stuffed dog or something just gonna finally go the dog from scrubs he used to carry around his fucking dog everywhere. I want to get like some legit Claymores though

and like a real Claymore Roomba. Like with the proper licensing and everything of course. Have you blown up a Claymore? Never. Batty has. Never a legit one. Do that clack.

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BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. Clackety-clack. This is a three, right? Yeah, three. Now when you have to look at the, oh yeah, you have to look at the little flash window and you're like, click, click, click. Make sure it's sparking. You have that wire, you just unroll, put the caps in. Roll. Shock tube. look at the little flash window and you're like click click click make sure it's sparking you have

that wire you just unroll put the caps in shock tube yeah yeah you put a shock tube in both sides or one now camera no it's one side it's one i remember i did this in 2010 bro like and mine was five it's been a long time yeah you put the fucking shock tube front towards the enemy because people fucked that up in the past that's why that's that's why it's down there it's like you know how leave it to the coffee military that's why did you read on the uh c4s do not eat yeah that's hilarious that's because someone ate it yep i believe that which i think you can do right yeah like it's actually got nutritional value of some sort where like people would get like really hungry and eat their c4 all right guys for listening to the podcast right now

this is this is uh your your father speaking don't eat c4 i think you can get high on it too some of them absolutely have C4. Don't ingest or light it on fire. It's a bigger felony for you to have it than for you to smoke it. Let's be real here. And it's not going to explode if you smoke it. No, it's very safe, very stable. It actually takes a blasting cap in order to ignite that fucking system.

You could light that shit on fire and hit it with a hammer and it's not going off. People don't understand. They're like, C4. They think it's nitroglycerin. Big shout out. Back in the day, in the 1700s, those ships that would come across the... Those are some real motherfuckers. Holy shit, bro.

Have you seen how they would hold it in that spring system? How unstable that shit is? Bro, it was giant springs built into those old ass ships that were just like, please don't move. And because glycerin leaks. So once that happens, it's like, well. Because all it was is nitroglycerin, I think, absorbed by like wood chips. That was basically dynamite. At least to my knowledge.

Like sawdust, essentially. Dude, that was like, you'd watch. Stabilize it. Oh, God. At least to my knowledge like sawdust essentially Dude, that was like you'd watch stabilize it Oh god, they take it across boats, and it was just like a spring system to keep it here So when it's like the big rocking and just stay still and they're like please Springs just keep you're not having like chests full of dynamite Everybody thinks of c4 is unstable because they see like fucking Call of Duty where it's basically Tanner, right? You just throw it and it explodes.

You can shoot it and it explodes. You shoot it, yeah. That's not the case. But people will underestimate how much C4 is needed for a very large explosion. Oh my God, dude. Because in movies it's like suitcases and it like levels a floor of a building you don't need it you need like three pounds and you are fucking oh yeah we did that demo course with best recently and uh yeah no you that that'll rock your shit you're

too close to some of that shit you were kind of close to some of that shit i was really close in retrospect to a lot of it and how many poundage? One of the charges we ran, one of the charges I blew was like a nine pound charge. And that was a big boy. That one wasn't too bad. The other one, it was the smaller one. We used like ECT, like electrical cutting, or excuse me, explosive cutting tape. Basically like a shape charge of copper or whatever that you wrap around something. Shape charge is the coolest fucking shit.

Boosters and then like a pound and a half C4. And then a bunch of dead cord that one i was way too close to and that one felt like somebody literally takes a wiffle ball bat and just fucking beams you in the back of the head with it as soon as it goes off you kind of feel your brain rattle around you're like oh okay well i'm good yeah brain nut whatever the opposite of a brain nut is that was a reverse chasm. Your brain got kicked in the balls. Oh, no.

I was... Fuck. I forget what they told me to do. It was eat an avocado. Jericho was like, oh, yeah, you're probably a little close to that. Just eat an avocado. You'll be fine. No shit. It was apparently the healthy fats or whatever in an avocado or whatever like help your brain repair something like that i didn't i

didn't do it we just drank military that's it's one of those things it's like being in however many id blasts and suicide bombers for me and then also when you're doing those explosives it's like okay a giant explosion like it's like now run into the house you got it When I think back of those days I'm like like, nah, people ask me that daily. You miss being in the army? No, fuck. No, you can pay me fucking 500 grand to go back. Is it a private?

I'd say no. OK, I might do. I think it's a little different with us, too, is like I would pay the lives that we live now are dramatically different from the average military member leaving. Yeah, but right now, you know, we got a fair. We got a pretty good you know but i would definitely do a gofundme for 1.5 mil if we can do baddie goes back as a private for three years in the active military no you just said you would do it for 500k uh not for three years you don't get a choice in this you have to sign a contract for 1.5 million dollars unless you get med boarded

which you get in man that's fair dude so i thought about i thought about doing that for content at one no not for that because because of my broken ass brain at this point we don't tell dude you never tell me bro i didn't tell him about any of the broken bones i had my fucking migraines the four concussions I had at the time. I'm like, nah, I'm good. Meps, they always just don't say a thing. Do 1.5 mil, Batty. Three years.

That's 500 grand a year on top of whatever else. I don't want to go back as a private, though. I'd probably, I'd be an evil. No, I don't want you. You want me as a private? For 1.5 mil, yeah. You are not getting an easy. Just amused the fuck out of it.

If you were Brandon, how much would it cost for you? You're going to have to bump those numbers up. I know. I thought about it for content, but now I'm like, that's just not worth it. Plus, I'm not sure what the recruiting age is now. You can get wavered up to 42. What the fuck? Seriously?

I went to basic with a guy who was 42 Well that was because you were still kind of wartime 35 I think I had some old ass fuck Who was that old ass fuck he dropped out like Halfway through my cycle Fuck who was it I forget his name He dropped out halfway through this dude was like

42 I think he was also One of those guys This man was wild It was funny because our first sergeant of the company first sergeant was 42 and he would walk up to me like he just stood there and he did that for like two minutes it was like way too long i'm like damn that's rude man like even right now that's rude i saw they were talking about military recruiting it was like a meme i was i was looking at where it's like gen z like the the modern you know military that they're building up now like i need a stress card like i have anxiety when i talk to people uh this this like yo this this uh this boot camp is

not busting for real for real and then like there was like the chad fucking like 2002 enlistment like yes, sir. I heard the Toby Keith song. I am here I am here for America I am America Dude that I wonder like nowadays because before we deploy you have to do the dis I might have talked about the desensitizing For war so they just want you had to watch like army dudes Just getting sniped and killed over in war and you're like they're like this is to desensitize you it's like man okay i was on live leak before i joined now i'm like that's just fucking reddit now wait well it taught me i was like more is it still bad no there's still tons of places on reddit you can still

combat footage i think still like post a bunch especially the ukraine conflict like oh dude i didn't think about that all right fair i i literally the only time i go to right now is for our subreddit i stopped using right like four years ago smart like twitter it's yeah it's accessible like there's a bunch of just very angry basement dwellers on reddit but there's occasionally good info that's what they sound like in my they're typing angrily yeah dude i used to have to watching all those videos and deploying i just remember i was like Wow, that's what they sound like in my they're typing anger Yeah, dude. I used to have that watching all those videos and deploying. I just remember I was like don't turn patrol don't stop moving Like doing tick-tock dances Ahmed not gonna know where to aim the SVD.

Maybe that's why Nico is so good at TikTok. He was already ready for all the dances. I was so terrified and then you get like five months in the deployment when war has set in and you don't give a fuck and you're like night

mission just a line of chairs. You're like don't give a fuck if they're like night mission just a line of chairs you're like don't give a fuck if they shoot me in the head i'm not gonna feel this you see a red laser on the wall you're like pull the fucking trigger do it do it pussy your shit's not zeroed sorry neither was ours i had one mission where it was my gun fucked up at zero and I was like man I like went to do like warning shots I was like man my zero is really off right now we went immediately back and I was like I hear warning shot zero like uh is this going the generation kill direction this is like clack clack I was like what the fuck is going on? I got back.

I was like, okay, let's confirm my zero right now from that drop of my gun. I was like, and it was like, I was like, it's not hitting paper. That's not a good sign. Suppressing fire. Yeah. Yeah. Not great. Yay war.

You guys should not do it. I would love to never do that. It sounds so cool Thought about it for a minute decided it wasn't for me. It's so cool right until it's not That first time you like just like let's roll up into the strike is like ting ting ting ting ting is that gunfire 100% dismount left What yeah, so we're getting out in this It's not rain. It's not You sure it's not hell just say it's hell I'll be way more step out of the striker onto the forbidden tuna can

Forbidden tuna can the forbidden Play-Doh. I walked over forbidden tuna cans before. We walked over in the next... Man, this was literally... The next day, we cleared an area. We're like, whoop! Cleared the entire area. A new company, Nodoss, walked the the exact same path and one of them did he

hit a a tuna can fucking went off uh he like he was a below the knee injury and i was like fuck i was like one of us stepped over that and didn't see it we're like what the fuck do it reminds me of that photo where they've got one of those that for those who don't know the forbidden tuna can you obviously like landmine uh there was one where it was like a hopscotch thing where it was like across a fucking creek where they were like stone stone stone landmine stone stone like oh god that was my biggest i would just watch where i was walking and watching it's like cutting wires you got you unless you've been there you never experience it's like you're supposed to trim wires because here in america we have fucking power lines that run up that is not how iraq is they're

all the power lines are just like into the ground they're running into houses they're running across the street and you're like do i clip these or like maybe those might be connected to people's power we don't know you're like so one of these might be an id one might not and they're like well if it's between abdul's xbox working and me not getting blown the fuck up i have a preference you're like click click click Okay, we're good. We're good Buddies that come up. It's like click stuff and you're like oh you're good And we're walking and then they're like oh there's a wire that led here like what it and you just need like something like a daisy chain and he's like

Puts him down. It is a huge daisy chain of ideas. It's like I'm glad we clicked that off Holy shit, that is a whole bunchisy chain of ideas it's like oh i'm glad we clicked that off holy shit that is a whole bunch of fucking happy times hurt locker shit yeah oh that when he's like pulling it's like we just seen him in a line it was like one and then you see like two three like fuck my fucking mortar rounds and shit ah man again so how much to go back to the military? It's fantastic. I mean, we're not like doing a real... It's truck month at GMC.

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Uh, no, I'd do it for two mil a year, yeah. And then Batty's 500. And then we have money. 500k? You would actually go back in as a private 500k a year? Yeah. Dude, this vlog would take... If I could record it, they're like...

If we don't tell each other the number? Yeah, no. I'm just kind of like, man, I can't believe they're giving us 500K a year and I'm over here like three years, six million. And this was their paying you? He's like, man, I just wanted to go to college. All the other primates don't know about how much you get. Or they do know, so they hate the fuck out of you.

That's how you get fragged in the field. Hey guys, just to let you know, these guys are joining later in life. They're equally the same as you minus they get paid significantly more than you. Treat them with respect. Significant. 2,500,000.

You guys make about that in your life. Yes. You don't. Have fun. Salute. Walk out. Record. Oh, that's comedy gold. you don't have fun salute walk out record oh that's comedy gold that's a series

that everyone would watch at least I would it's called murder that's a snuff film that's a vet TV skit that's what it is you all you guys are getting

soap barred is that immediately every night immediately so many stress cards though no no you're good can I use the stress card? I'm stressed

that I'm getting lock in a sock every fucking night. Lock in a sock? My ribs don't work anymore. Allie? Oh, fuck, dude yeah father k here uh oh fuck are you streaming this month since it's september are you dude so what is september all right he'll explain it he'll get oh that's the title

of this episode yeah honestly yeah or that or brain nut brain nut brain a September brain nut There is um four years ago. I believe it was I think it's our time I mean That was weird twitch Decided to be like hey for September. We're gonna call it sub temper We're give you discounts if you get this sub a new sub it's like a dollar or you resub It's a dollar instead of five bucks But the person gets the same amount of money the streamer and wasn't amazon just complaining about not making enough fucking money off of twitch twitch has been in the red for a very long time that's why they're forcing ads everywhere but then the next year september was

like hey you get 50 off a new sub instead of like a dollar wait how much was the first one it was like a dollar for a sub man no shit oh i thought you were talking about this current one no no no it's worse and worse every year it's worse and then 2020 it was like 50 dollar for a sub man. No shit. Oh, I thought you were talking about this current one. Okay. No, no, no, no. It's worse and worse. It's worse. And then 2020, it was like 50% off. Then next, it was like 30% off gifted subs though,

which was like, Oh fuck. That's still a ton for people. And then this year it's like, all right, well then we'll give you an Arby's gift card. That'd been better. It's like,

it's 20% off for you to resub sometimes for a length of time, not just like a regular reason. We have to do it for like three months, six months, whatever. That's pretty shit. It's not great. And I,

there's like stipulations behind it, man. It's like, it can't be one of these kinds of subs and it can't be this, but it can be that, but it can't be that. It's like the most convoluted shit. It's like how to ruin a good thing.

So fucking fast. Like, how the fuck does Twitch even know at this point? I don't know why they didn't keep it 50. Speaking of fucking Twitch. Did you hear about the chick getting railed on Twitch? Oh, yeah. Yeah. She was fucking ugly.

I don't know. She was a small ass streamer, right? 250 followers. She wasn't small ass, right 250 followers 250 ish followers Now like 4k ish Because after a week She got her account back Twitch unbanned her

She had a 7 day Suspension I don't know the details Was she getting fucked on stream Getting visibly fucking railed The boyfriend was behind her She was bent over her desk drinking and her boyfriend for a second you see him Is it visible or like you just in front of a glass? No, it's absolutely

See my camera like But it's a girl came in you see the guy behind and she's like but you could see the glass on that you could see the Glass and he's just fucking her yeah i mean do your thing good for you i guess seven days like out of all the shit that'll show emerald well they get like that's the biggest thing it's you get to see it like the alcohol and the cat's face she got what a day ban or something seven days yeah yeah she's spitting vodka into her cat's mouth or a bunch cat's mouth. She's done a bunch of shit. She's done a bunch of shit. She threw her cat once.

And then it's like seven days. And homegirl, she's like getting fucked on camera and you're like, seven days. Even then, a lot of other female streamers were like, hey Twitch, you probably could have just left this one man. If you're like not... It's an accident.

His dick didn't just fall and slip in repeatedly like she willingly got fucked as she's like live on twitch subs for the chats like this for the she's moaning on like you can see her facial reaction to getting fucked like it is here it looks like my camera right now that's what you see from her and then she's like i saw a screenshot like i saw a screenshot from like the article or whatever that's what it looks like and then if you look in the glass window you just see the full-on reflection of her getting fucked i'm like i wish twitch would just make up their fucking mind as to whether or not they're gonna allow shit like that on the platform it's like if you're if you say you're not like that is a pretty fucking egregious violation that's it like why intentionally exactly intentionally that's the thing it's

not like i understand why some of these like Oh nip slip whatever yeah, yeah bad slip It's like I feel really bad for streamers about that too Especially like fucking married streamers and shit like that like I've seen a couple of those like fuck-ups And it's just like this is why live shit like would freak me out especially as like a female like that. Oh yeah, yeah Well you see like amaranth She was doing that a podcast on how much she makes off of all those platforms. And you're like, girl, you did it the right way. Can't get mad at you for anything you did.

You can't blame people like Amaranth for taking advantage. She makes like 100k a month off Twitch. 100k a month off of some. Well over 100k a month off Twitch. I was going to say that sounds low. That's real low. You might be right. No, I know I'm right.

But on the main platform. If only we have a nightmare brick in front of us that could tell us oh f she's bringing like 1.5 mil a month yeah she's like yeah and that's why she's like cutting back she's like the 20th something most subbed streamer on twitch she's the top female streamer i didn't know that yeah fucking shit twitch star uh amaranth has revealed she's earning a staggering 33 million from adult content platform only fans yeah oh yeah that's why she makes all her money on is oh

dude i would makes roughly 1.5 million per month yeah it's just weird like if twitch would it's the same thing with youtube it's community guidelines like none of these platforms want to state what they really are they're so vague so they don't need to enforce them properly they can do whatever they want and nobody can be like what and something that i'll give them a lot of credit for and like and this is people like giving people i really don't like credit for like

big social media companies they have a really fucking hard job where you have a platform that has you know for example like facebook instagram whatever billions of fucking people on and you have a staff of maybe like 10 000 dudes like that's a hard fucking job yeah to go through every report every spammer every everything like there's a reason why ai takes over a lot of this shit because you fucking have to you can't keep up to the amount of content and then the length of our podcast is a good example it's an hour they have to scrub through we found out they don't the ryan reynolds thing is the main thing the ryan reynolds pool is the main big no-no can't talk about the ryan reynolds pool very much we can say it ryan reynolds pool we can post it we need to find oh that's gonna go on the new wall too yeah yeah oh we need to actually fill that out at one point oh we're gonna do a separate like sacrificial lamb of a video i mean with everybody making

their their bets yeah there you go perfect dude we can actually have content on patreon that could be up in the background as long as you don't talk about it just put it up there it's a fucking poster what are you in every every new episode there's like a different fucking name or something's changed slightly I just like it's gonna be Ryan Reynolds Pool I'm putting his fucking face right there Exactly so it's like that And then we're gonna do a Fuck ad spot for Mint Mobile

Which is his company which I love the most I love that that was The one they were like yeah we wanna work with those guys It's like fucking dope Did you guys talk about the new studio Last episode No to work with those guys it's like dope do you want to work with you talk about the new studio last episode no i don't do the new when is the new studio going to be a thing uh in a week and a half i'll have it all done so episode afternows yes that was the biggest thing it's like we got the new the table probably not matches the one kind of we had. It's minus it's gray. It's not a black. Whatever.

It's brown even. But it will have more width. Could not anticipate that next sentence. Couldn't have nailed it better. So we got the new table. God damn. I love you so much. Which is a lot more length into it.

But that way nuts aren't touching over. You're not sitting on your buddy's lap anymore. You have that. You want to? Well, we get this big ass table. We're all just still like not the butt. We're still like me. Holding hands.

I missed you. But the wall, the decor. Fucking conga line the entire hour-long episode. Sitting butt to nut. We have a bench. We just sit straddled. I have a bench for this table. It's four chairs and a bench. So we could have put a bench here.

The mic's mounted on the back. One of our heads to talk. Hey, Brandon. We're all wearing helmets. With the mic on the back of it It's just a reverse night vision mount With a microphone I like this new setup way more already

I'm a fan Bravo seeks going gay Homosexual Those are one of my fucking greatest things I ever did The clod nods Oh the clod nods They broke when I moved I was real sad about that.

Dude, but the new studio, it's going to look fucking dope. All the shelving. I gotta do Eli decor so I don't look supertistic. Gotta make sure all the color palettes are looking good. Oh, bro. They look real fucking good. Just wait till you see these fucking palettes.

Dude, the fucking lights. The fucking backdrop. The decor. So you're not gonna have lights that attack guests anymore? See these fucking do the fucking the fucking lights the fucking the backdrop the what they decor What you're not gonna have lights that attack guests anymore. No, I'm sad about that I'm not gonna lie. Can we still like just duct tape a light? And I can pull it and it just falls That that would be very hard to explain to the, you know, the rental agency. Like, why did you build a trap door with piranhas?

Why didn't we? Why did you not have it convey with the property? He's just like, what did you do to this house? How do you fuck it up so much? First off, is it fucked up? You have piranhas now, and they're beautiful creatures.

There's a lot of blood in there. Sounds pretty fucking judgmental, to be honest. When I was a kid, I actually owned two red-bellied piranhas. When I couldn't afford to feed them, I gave them hot dogs. One ate the other. Always sounds good when you buy a pet and you're like, when I can't afford to feed it. I bought it

hot dogs. And then one literally ate the other. Did you know piranhas won't eat your fucking hands up if you put it in yeah yeah it's a myth you can be bleeding and you put it in they want to fucking it's a myth literally so they don't attack humans nope I feel like I've seen piranha attack there's a very extremely extremely rare it is because I remember in North Carolina there was a thing like when I was living there I saw it like in the newspaper or whatever where somebody had like pulled up a prawn out of like the Cape Fair River or Some shit, and they had a picture of their a pocket knife that hadn't made an indentation on it

Oh, yeah, no you put a knife in the mouth and shit like that little bite, but like prana art like Inherently aggressive I guess the way to put it was there small 3d fucking lied to me yet. Just like fucking Sharknado, it's not real. It's fucking bullshit. Yeah, who did that that coyote? Oh, what's that guy's name? Have you ever watched coyote? The only Jones or something. Yes, I think I know who you're talking about. He gets stunk. Like, welcome to the sting zone. And he does like the world's most fucking painful bee stings and shit like that. Yeah.

Ants, spiders. Sounds like, what's his name? Houston Jones? Not Houston Jones. But he's Coyote Johnson. What is wrong with you people? Stop it. Dude, Coyote Johnson or whatever his name is. Coyote Peterson.

Peterson. Dude, he built... He did such a good job with what he did. I don't know if you've watched his content. I watched some of it when he did the most intense bee sting or wasp sting in the world. Bro, that dude, he almost fucking passes out from the pain. He's about to vomit on his hands and knees. So this is what I'm feeling right now.

And he's handling this, I'm sure like way better than any fucking buddy else would do baddie are you good no no no sorry i just check it out this guy who will capture boring you betty yeah no i can't see the time anymore because of how the light is right now i will tell you boom we're good just trying to watch it that's my job that dude will fucking take like the scariest fucking murder hornets and shit. Yeah. And they, he was like, okay, he captures them and then he puts a stinger and he just holds them and until they sting. Yeah.

And he did it with piranhas though. He cut his hand. He's like, okay, blood put hand in piranha tank and they had to have known ahead of time. They just swam around and he's like, no shit. They do not do this.

He was like, it's a fucking myth. He was just holding his hand in there. He's like, like nope he had to have known ahead of time because my size is that and in the pack it's like like they'll attack like splashing and things like that there's certain things that trigger like their fight flight shit so most of the time it's panic and run but that tarantula wasp that's the motherfucker that made him crippled tarantula wasp those are two things I hate dude yeah that sounds like some shit

that makes me want to move off that continent it fucking dropped that dude it's the vomiting one and that one ant he got bit by one ant he was like oh this is worth it I'm gonna vomit like the bullet ant I know those are bad yes he gets bit by one of those he's basically like went around the world like funny the most exotic shit to be stung by and

He made millions off of it. So I mean, okay, he got shows it and he's wasn't like og internet We're like this would get 10,000 views on like me. No, he's pretty big. He has TV channels now like I think He's oh my god brave wilderness is his channel. It's 20 million subs. Bro, he's crushing it. And he's so... Like, Bitten by Bloodworms, 11 days ago. That's a real thing?! 6 million views. What is a bloodworm? Wait, what is a bloodworm? Oh, what

the fuck is that? That's from... That is the forbidden fleshlight. That's the forbidden fleshlight! The forbidden fleshlight! Dune! Dune! Have you seen my fleshlight? It has f had fangs yeah stung by a cow killer like the uh like the ant or whatever yeah fucking five years ago 80 million views dude his fucking i'd fucking do that i'm not even gonna lie like if i knew i could get to that size i'll fucking do whatever man well he's so methodical on how he breaks it down that's what guys brandon will do anything for 80 million views yeah do you know how much

80 million views is monetized on fucking youtube no on a long ass video like that that's a good chunk of change but there's not much that's like more than 100 grand at least me being probably a couple hundred grand me being stung on the inside of my butt by a penis this episode I would do almost anything

the stings I'm being stung by my body of my buddy's cock again for the fourth episode in a row. Tweezering it, he's like, oh god, here it is on my face! It's going crazy! It's spitting its poison venom at me. Stung by a brain nut. God dam it.

Patty, what? Don't judge this. Thank you for watching the Subscribe Podcast. As always, we have Eli DoubleTap and... Oh, no. The Ghost of Donut Operator. And Brandon Herrera. I'm Patty Streams. I'm going to go bleach my eyes. Fetch the melon ballera. I'm baddie streams and I'm gonna go bleach my eyes

Fetch the melon baller. I tired my eyes Yeah, I was doing the other one just drop it in and we have to do a mid read Yeah, we just do it at the end the with the power of editing No, welcome to the ad now read your script Do I read what I can't talk about or not? No, Batty. Hey guys, we recorded an extra like 35 minutes of the podcast for like the Patreon.

So if you want to go to the link down in the description in the comments, see us as a tribe podcast, Patreon, get a little unsub extra, a little uncensored unsub, a little extra Eli, a little uncensored unsub a little little extra eli a little extra baddie no don't know on this one but he's gonna be on the other ones so go check it out