Unsubscribe Podcast - 75 - THE GREAT DRUNK MAGICIANS ft. Chris Ramsay & Wes Barker

Episode Date: October 12, 2022

Unsubscribe Ep75 - THE GREAT DRUNK MAGICIANS ft. Chris Ramsay & Wes Barker ABRA KADABRA ALAKBLAM!! HOLY DRUNK WIZARDS BATMAN! TODAY @Chris Ramsay and @WES Barker COME ON BY AND MAGIC ARE MINDS WITH WA...Y TOOOO MUCH BOOZ! ------------------------------ CHECK OUT TODAYS VIDEO SPONSOR, GHOSTBED Right now GhostBed is offering 30% off everything if you use the code - UNSUBSCRIBE at checkout or visit https://www.ghostbed.com/pages/unsubscribe ------------------------------ GO FOLLOW CHRIS AND WES! @Chris Ramsay https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrPUg54jUy1T_wII9jgdRbg https://www.instagram.com/chrisramsay52/?hl=en @WES Barker https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCM3e8MIdaDQrowdqdPEw-gQ https://www.instagram.com/stuntmagician/?hl=en ------------------------------ OUR MERCH: https://www.bunkerbranding.com/pages/unsubscribe-podcast JOIN THE PATREON NOW: https://www.patreon.com/UnsubscribePodcast WE HAVE A SUBREDDIT??? https://www.reddit.com/r/UNSUBSCRIBEpodcast/ CHECK OUT https://outofregz.com/ CODE: UNSUB http://gfuel.com/discount/baddie CODE: BADDIE ------------------------------ WHERE TO LISTEN Spotify https://spoti.fi/2Ye8YOU Apple Podcasts https://apple.co/3cbqY4k Amazon https://amzn.to/2YbzQia Google Play https://bit.ly/2YcWmaD Stitcher https://bit.ly/3cbnY8o MORE LINKS! https://linktr.ee/UnsubscribePodCast ------------------------------ Follow the Cast of Unsubscribe -Baddie- @Baddie Streams https://www.twitch.tv/baddie https://twitter.com/BaddieStreams https://www.instagram.com/baddiestreams/ https://www.youtube.com/baddiestreams -DonutOperator- @Donut Operator @Operation Donut https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwkm_Wcyh0pc7UUmZZfL-6w https://www.instagram.com/donutoperator/ https://www.twitch.tv/DonutOperator https://twitter.com/DonutOperator -Eli_Doubletap- @elidoubletap https://www.instagram.com/eli_doubletap/ https://www.twitch.tv/Eli_Doubletap https://twitter.com/Eli_Doubletap https://www.youtube.com/c/EliDoubletap ------------------------------ Edited by Fluck https://www.twitch.tv/fluck twitchcon 2022 reaction Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:27 Must be legal drinking age. Thanks, guys. Sink it. Oh! Yeah, it's a lot confusing, Fluck. Fluck, that's all right. There's Fluck, by the way. Here, let me get Fluck.
Starting point is 00:00:40 Is that yours? Literally, his username is that. Let's Fluck this game. Yeah. I'll Fluck this game? That's not as cool. Random as shit. He's actually thinking about changing it.
Starting point is 00:00:51 Can we all just talk about how dumb it would be to change the username Fluck? Like, that's a great username. He's like, just Fluck? It's just Fluck. It's also just F-L-U-C-K? Yeah. Keep that. Forever Fluck.
Starting point is 00:01:01 Forever and ever. It's also his password, though. That's why he wants to change it. Or Fluck it. Pass that to your children. Cody, would you like one? Are we doing this? We brought some Japanese whiskey as a gift.
Starting point is 00:01:14 We have an unsubscribed podcast. I know you guys are going to be nervous. This is the first guest that brought us a gift. Yeah, a lot of thought. Wait, is it really? Name one other guest. I couldn't name any other guests. I don't remember any of them.
Starting point is 00:01:27 He's like, I can't name a guest. Are we good on audio? Mm-hmm. With everyone? Okay, cool. I took a photo. We have done so many podcasts. We fuck it up.
Starting point is 00:01:36 Someone's not fucking talking. Oh, we've had that. I'm not laughing at you. I'm laughing at the fact that there's always somebody that's trying to keep everything together. And I'm like, that's great. Thank you. You're that guy. Perfect.
Starting point is 00:01:46 It's never Cody. He's never that No, I just haven't really like a week That guy's fucking ridiculous That's harder to rhyme but he's a really nice guy Welcome to Unsubscribe Hey guys, thanks for watching Unsubscribe Podcast. Make sure wherever you're listening or watching, whether it's on YouTube, Castro, Spotify Apple, Google, Amazon, Podbean
Starting point is 00:02:17 Stitcher or That's all of them Please leave a comment, like it Thumbs up it, give it a rating of five stars, whatever you do. It helps the podcast out immensely. And Donut and Eli will be very happy if you do that. And we want to make Donut and Eli happy today.
Starting point is 00:02:33 Yeah. Five stars on everything. And a comment if there is possible, because we need to be at the top. Donut, say something motivating. And that's where the, that is. something motivating. That's where the... Come subscribe. Respecting women. Come high.
Starting point is 00:02:51 Come high. And respecting women. Cheers. How do you guys get this podcast started? Alcoholism. We gotta do this. I already double cracked both of mine. I've been drinking my noise.
Starting point is 00:03:06 It's okay. We're getting ready. Just make the sound. Just make the sound. And that's how we sync our mics. My God. Nice. We would drink a copious amount of manmosas at our favorite brunch place.
Starting point is 00:03:17 And then we were like, we should just do this at my house. And we used to set our three cell phones up to record. Sounds like every other man's podcast brought to you by manscaped so okay we got sponsors literally two weeks ago. Hey, promo code bottom. Thank you. You're just on here promoting on your own. By the way, bottom of the barrel, promo code
Starting point is 00:03:52 right here, buddy. You had four ad reads to do by the end of the month. Just hop on this podcast clip. They just brought us on to read their own ad reads. Genius. That's how we got them. We told them we're not going to get a lot of views but we can get on some podcasts
Starting point is 00:04:06 I'm really good at reading a prompter so good at fucking convincing my audience to buy shit you guys read a prompter we do this shut the fuck up you can't read it hi everyone unsubscribe podcast here today I'm joined by Eli Double Tap
Starting point is 00:04:23 Chris Ramsey, Wes Barker, and Batty Streams. They're awesome people, and I love them. Fuck yeah. We said to get that out of the way. The elephant in the room. Cody, your hair. Oh, I'm not using it anymore. That's the elephant in the room right now. It isn't for us.
Starting point is 00:04:40 This is the only Cody we've ever known. It's definitely going to be with a new studio, a new set, lighting've ever known. It's definitely nothing to do with a new studio, a new set, lighting, a table. It's crazy. No, this is also the only studio I've ever seen as well. So all of this is very normal. You guys walked in and you're like,
Starting point is 00:04:55 man, the studio looks way bigger. Yeah, 100%. We saw it. We're like, damn. Because we get that a lot too when people come into the office and they're like, well, this looks a lot different than on camera.
Starting point is 00:05:03 And we had the same thought, except it was valid. Cause it's not the same. Everything happened in reverse. So we got here, you let us in remotely. So we were in here before you were here. And then you two came in and then we saw your hair.
Starting point is 00:05:17 So everything's happening in back. We were in like 10 minutes before you guys just like talking shit about this lighting setup that you got. Don't point it out. Nobody can see it. They can't see the line. Fantastic hidden wires. Fan being the key word.
Starting point is 00:05:31 We did enjoy the sushi chef you had over there. That was cool. Thank you. Yeah, and the chocolate fountain. The fridge on top of a cardboard box. I was still the sushi chef. That was amazing. So many giant bobblehead boxes just laying around, and they're all sitting in the background.
Starting point is 00:05:45 Now, this background, by the way, I got to say, guys, looks pretty good. This is really, really nice. Wes mentioned earlier the purple and blue light, for some reason, screams like nerd. Yeah. I just like that. It screams Blade Runner. It screams Blade Runner.
Starting point is 00:06:00 It does. Oh, yeah. No, it screams like Twitch, like fucking gamer. You guys nailed the vibe. Really love it. Can we get your loud voice out? Screams bag it. Perfect.
Starting point is 00:06:14 That was weird. Why did you get the three candles up in front of the fucking Star Wars? They were there already. You had them there. Yeah, I thought you would take them down. You're like, you're like, you know what's going to go good with the Star Wars decor? Three candles. Those were there.
Starting point is 00:06:29 Yeah, because there was nothing. You put them there. I got a question for you guys. What's your retention? Oh, usually one minute. They're gone. They're gone? They're gone by now.
Starting point is 00:06:40 34 minutes. Is it 34? All right. So we got 34 minutes to plug our own podcast is what it's like. It's just heavy. And it's like, guys, have you ever checked out? Bottom of the barrel. Okay.
Starting point is 00:06:53 So can I? Do you mind? Go for it. We've had one or two dreams. No, seriously. Shut the fuck up. It's over. Braddy, can you mute everyone's mic butt kisses right now?
Starting point is 00:07:05 All right, listen, guys. I'm going to be, I'm going to fucking shoot it right down this middle barrel here, right on the wide. Wes and I have been working on a podcast for the past two years. It's called Bottom of the Barrel. Did you fucking mute? You son of a bitch. Oh, shit.
Starting point is 00:07:24 That was great. That was great. That was great. I was like, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah. The entire time he starts talking. There's some slurs in there. Well, see you never, man. Almost had him. Almost had him, Chris.
Starting point is 00:07:36 Bottom of the barrel. Yeah, he got it in there. Bottom of the barrel podcast. Wes Barker. Fooled Penn and Teller, by the way. And that's about it, right? Is that all you got? What is your claim to fame? That's one of them. I want to hear about Penn & Teller, by the way. And that's about it. What is your claim to fame? That's one of them. I want to hear about Penn & Teller. You did
Starting point is 00:07:49 Full Penn & Teller. Twice? Yeah, well, they were looking. Not twice, though? Not twice. Only once. What was the guy that did it twice? Tell me about that guy. Don? Sean? I don't want to hear about you. He's old, and he's done it a long time, and he's old. I don't know what to tell you. He's old and he's done it a long time.
Starting point is 00:08:05 And he's old. I don't know what else to tell you. Wes actually was hilarious that his trick that he did to fool Penn and Telly. You guys can check out. It was my trick. The trick that he used was actually super simple. And they were fucking angry. Penn was legit pissed off at you
Starting point is 00:08:25 didn't because it was like the simplest method i thought it was a method published in 1926 that's so old these are fucking weird yeah we're dead i don't like that shit yeah i don't know a thing about 1926 i was like yes i don't know what was going on then i don't even know i hit on some historical things. 2016. I know. That's great in the 20s, man. Are you kidding me? Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:48 Not for my people, but you white people. Yeah. Dude, for white people, life's been great for a long time. Ever? Ever. Yeah. Except 2040. That gets a little dicey.
Starting point is 00:09:00 Yeah. In 2040. I don't know if you guys know. We're enjoying the ride right now because after that it's all fucking downhill. We deserve it. I thought, Batty, you fucked up the audio. God damn it. I know. I trust you this time.
Starting point is 00:09:13 I believe it. Why do you prefer Mini Mullet? Who? Yeah, why not the full one? This is a good question. I like this. You guys just take control. So I grew up in Alabama.
Starting point is 00:09:30 Now said, no, my cousin loves this. My uncle really liked it. We're not going to sit in the car. He says he's going to grab one too. We call this the fuck handle, boy. I'm just kidding. I enjoy it. I like grabbing my bullet too.
Starting point is 00:09:57 It's fun. You just grab your uncle's as well. It's just like. Dude, this is. Okay. So this is the first time we've ever had five people which completely different than our normal cadence we usually we've done four it's three all the time and then four bring brandon a lot in who and now we have yeah these beauties chris is assistant that's right yeah
Starting point is 00:10:17 my co-host on bottom of the barrel podcast you know i started a podcast and somehow he's like taking it over as if it's his and i'm the extra guy it was mine yeah i brought him in was it start a wiki and make sure you started the podcast that's what i'm saying i started the podcast there it is he gave it to me i was like it's dying it was on life support when you were here. It wasn't. I was cruising. I was cruising the numbers. I did. It was me and my mom. He saved it.
Starting point is 00:10:47 We were good. Thank you. He's like, buddy, give me a coattail to hang on. And you wrote that coattail, and I'm proud of you. I couldn't. I was going too fast. I had to let go. I had to circle back and grab the coattails again.
Starting point is 00:10:58 I'm on my second coattail grab. First time was our TV show. I lost it. Where does that expression come from, by the way? Who's ever been literally holding on to someone's coattails and being like, Never. That was colors and shit when you were walking in, right? Never ask where a say comes from because it's always racist.
Starting point is 00:11:19 Shit! It's never going to be good. Fuck after this. No, you already knew. The coattails on the white robes with the, uh, hats and stuff. Yeah, yeah. Something about wizards. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:30 Yeah. I like D&D. Not the wizards! Not the wizards! Yeah. Yeah. I love ghosts. I love the orcs.
Starting point is 00:11:38 That wasn't a ghost costume, was it? No. Boo! It was. I've pashed down this ghost costume for four generations Why are we wearing those costumes in March daddy? Can we make our first ghost costume merch cost Send us $20 like cut eye holes in your own We just like just said people just buy a pillowcase. How uncreative is the Ku Klux Klan? You could have done so many things it off spell clan, right? Yeah, all right was there a tryout is everyone for real yeah, okay. All right won't talk about it
Starting point is 00:12:47 How easy is it to burn crosses, to be honest? Make it one of something stronger. Burn a lower... What is that, lowercase t for time to get out? Burn a lowercase t to time to get out. We'll wear ghost costumes and scare people. Oh, my God. It's time to get out. We'll wear ghost costumes and scare them. Love that episode of Southwark. Oh my god. Batty's more like, oh this episode's one of those.
Starting point is 00:13:11 I can't wait to get cancelled on Twitch finally. Cancelled for what? Making fun of the Ku Klux Klan? Fuck those guys. I agree. This guy's worried about making fun of Ku Klux Klan. He's like, no dude, the Klan's gonna cancel us. You don't know my audience. We get canceled from the Clip Coats. Hey, clan. I'm subscribed.
Starting point is 00:13:43 Hey, clan. Hey, clan. Not the subscribed, all right? Hey, clan? Oh my God. Hey, clan? Hey, you clan out there. Not the Wu-Tang Clan. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:51 Oh man. Oh no. Who do you think the most famous person that secretly watches your guys' shit is? There's so many out there that are like, good question. Elon Musk, we already discussed that. Oh yeah, is you?
Starting point is 00:13:59 You think? We just want Big H also. You think or you hope? We know. You know? You know. Dude, obviously. Holy shit. Did you see who tweeted on John Mc you know obviously account yesterday so okay cody was the last person john mcafee ever talked to before he was assassinated yeah that's what i said assassinated yeah he did text his wife's account now who is
Starting point is 00:14:21 his wife she's like i feel like it's really important to talk about all the sketchy shit that happened when i was with my husband and i need to point out today i was followed around all day by a bunch of creepy men what's also the same guy on his on his account yeah but what was she wearing maybe she invited him we intro this with respect women and you're like, but what would she wear? It was her fault at the end of the day. Holy shit. Come on.
Starting point is 00:14:54 Wendy's most important deal of the day has a fresh lineup. Pick any two breakfast items for $4. New four-piece French toast sticks, bacon or sausage wrap, biscuit or English muffin sandwiches, small hot coffee, and more. Limited time only at participating Wendy's Taxes Extra. Chris, are you trying to retire? I'm trying to get views on Bottom of the Barrel Podcast. Listen, if you're looking to cancel us, we said some way worse shit on our podcast. You should really go down the rabbit hole trying to find a clue.
Starting point is 00:15:21 It's trying to knock out the other. Watch like 40 other 50 episodes. You'll find something. The first 20 are wild. We never met. Okay, we'll start. Before we get into the puzzles. Wait, I don't want to talk about puzzles.
Starting point is 00:15:38 Me neither. Until pretty long, I didn't know you were a magician until I texted you. I was like, bro, you need to check out this puzzle guy. I know who you are. And then Freddie was like, Chris is one of the greatest magicians. I was like, I think you're
Starting point is 00:15:52 thinking of the wrong individual. I don't think he does magic. I like magic shit. That Penn & Teller guy doesn't talk, right? Well, he's one dude, right? Penn & Teller's one. Mr. Penn Teller. Mr. Penn Teller. So we have a
Starting point is 00:16:08 segment first and foremost is do we, yeah, the superpowers. You guys get to assign yourself a special power, super power to be part of the offenders. The offenders. We've managed to
Starting point is 00:16:24 become part of the offenders already. No, not yet. No. So how this works is Cody, can you explain your superpower? Okay, so I can fly, but I have to shout racial slurs. So to save minorities and low-income areas. It's a catch-22. It's like a section 8 tower.
Starting point is 00:16:45 I had to fly in and save him. He's taking the stairs. I don't know what you mean. Tower 7? Just walking up the stairs all angrily. Batty comes if he picks up anything heavy.
Starting point is 00:17:01 I have extreme strength, but when I use any form of that strength, I just come uncontrollably There's a fire Our friend Eli here, the brown streak. Super speed, but he shits himself uncontrollably. The entire time. That's the best one. What if you run out of shit, though?
Starting point is 00:17:31 No, he doesn't. Oh, you don't? No. Wow. He's Mexican, dude. He eats some crazy shit. That's how that works. He eats a lot of shit.
Starting point is 00:17:38 He's got a lot of fuel. Okay. All right. Cut. Fluck. Punch in. What happens if you run out of shit? Then punch in on Chris and be like, he can't, he's Mexican.
Starting point is 00:17:50 Chris Ramsey. Whole frame, nice music. We're just going to get you canceled all the time. We're going to talk about the sponsor. We're all set. Bottom of the barrel. That's what pops up. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:18:04 I'm going to lose some. You're going to gain a lot, unfortunately. They're not good. These are ones you don't want. Fuck our audience. You've been telling them not to subscribe, and they haven't done it. You're doing good. You've been telling them since day one.
Starting point is 00:18:17 They can't wait. That's our guy, then. What's your superpowers? It's so crazy. If you've got to be a superpower. It's through to you first. You don't have to pick the downside, by the way. We got that. What's your superpowerpowers? I'm so crazy. Is it through to you first? You don't have to pick the downside by the way. What's your superpower?
Starting point is 00:18:30 Oh, okay, we pick the upside and we talk about the downside? Talk about it, that's it. Alright, well I wouldn't be able to teleport. I'm a teleport guy. We've had that before. So you're gonna have to choose a new one. I can do a new one. Okay, it's pressure's on.
Starting point is 00:18:45 All right. Well, then I get it taken. Oh. X-ray. I got X-ray vision. Oh, see? New one. See, Chris is way better than us.
Starting point is 00:18:52 I got X-ray vision, but it only works on children. Wow. Okay. You have already. You're like, I got this. I can see through shit. already All we keep close and what are we doing? Well talking about the thing we want, right? Okay guys, what's my dad? What's the downside The downside is you shit yourself What's the downside? What's the downside, though? Oh, wait, wait, wait.
Starting point is 00:19:47 They cry. Oh, no, no. You're only helping. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, guys. I'm so hard. What is this? X-ray vision! Okay, hold on! One step at a time. X-ray vision. Oh, fuck this.
Starting point is 00:20:09 That's mine. If you use your power if you're not a you're a super pedo no that's all you are you're a super i'm groomer man you're not saying i only can see through kids stuff. What superhero are you well? I mean hey if there's like a school shooting like they're gonna call me No, not now Cuz I'm gonna go in there and be like hey look at all these kids You're literally a machine at TSA. That's all you are. Is that what they're doing? I knew they were shady. They can see your deal.
Starting point is 00:20:51 So I'll do they shouldn't be. Can I get laser eyes? Yes. I could be a homelander laser eyes guy. Your laser eyes like how much damage they do is like so minimal
Starting point is 00:21:05 it's like you could like try to zap a tattoo but you like sunburn you like sunburns this is a long we have to do you can you could maybe give a sunburn no laser it's annoying wait yeah laser eyes but only when
Starting point is 00:21:22 you're talking to someone who you're not you're talking to someone who you're not interested in talking to. So like they're talking to you anytime. You start laser eyeing them. Yeah, you kill them instantly. I can only laser eye people that I like.
Starting point is 00:21:38 That's not any better. That sounds worse. You guys are the worst super... You are our first super villains that just fucking see children and kill people. I don't want to! These are super villains! I don't want it! Hey! Don't put me in that category! I don't wanna see these children! It's a gift and a curse! Okay, so now we have the offenders. What is the villain group led by Chris and Wes here?
Starting point is 00:21:59 Fucking call them fucking- The offenders! The Cyclops and Pedoman. Genomes of pesters fighting. Listen. The offenders! The Cyclops and Pedoman I'm so pissed off Listen I'm not naked Yes you are. Chris just threw your clothes and I'll burn them off Yeah dude there's someone out there watching this being like I wish that was my power
Starting point is 00:22:18 Guaranteed there's a guy watching If that's you Fuck you what are you doing with yourself Bottom of the barrel Come on man Watching Yeah I don't know you said you many people already picked a good superpowers You can kill everyone like Always goes in fucking blows already minutes a day. You have no control over that shit, and you don't You're blind control over that shit, and you don't know you're blind
Starting point is 00:22:45 No, that's what you don't you're blind. You don't know what you're lasering. Oh my god That's so much better than just aiming him around and then you're blind but you have laser vision. You're like, you're like, uh, what's his name? Daredevil and Cyclops at the same time. Yes! You literally need a sidekick. Chris is your sidekick. No, I think she's a-
Starting point is 00:23:16 There you go! I can see. This is my hair thing. Let me see these two figures real quick. This is gonna be a side-gu guys. I'll save the day The school he's That was a school. He's like, I know. You're good. Keep it over. Keep it over four feet. Midget criminals are running rampant.
Starting point is 00:23:59 I can't stop. He's like, I can't make it in ZOWN! Fuck, that's great. Doesn't they all sound like that when they write? I think so. I only met Peter Dinklage and he was definitely, AHHHHH! Does he sound like that when he writes? No, no, I'm sorry, I was like, hey Peter, AHHHHH! They're all balling it though.
Starting point is 00:24:22 Yeah, anyways. They are. Bottom of the barrel. They are. I'm amazed you guys are the least PC people we've had on probably. What do you mean PC? What are you talking about? We're talking about things that they're thinking about right now. Yeah, it's funny stuff.
Starting point is 00:24:36 You sick fucks. Oh my God. As if Peter Dinklage doesn't know he's short, you fucking piece of shit. You think he thinks he's tall? You're fucking Peter shit. He's just finding out now. What? He's just listening to this episode.
Starting point is 00:24:59 He's like, what? Everybody's like, fourth screen. He's like, my neck's been like this for years. He's like, I've been cast as a Christmas I want Peter Dinklage on the podcast next I always love Peter Dinklage on the bottom of the barrel on this one sweet love to Peter Bigelow. That's just what I'm saying.
Starting point is 00:25:27 I'm going to fuck him. Yeah, yeah. He's a good-looking little guy. He's a good-looking little person. He's one of those children that no one hates. There are some little people who are like, you know, they all kind of, you know. And he's like a good-looking little person. Oh, he's a good-looking little person.
Starting point is 00:25:40 He's a good-looking little person. Okay. We found the opposite of that, what Cody did. Oh, man. Is that a weird person? Is that what you're saying? No, it was a weird looking little person. We found the opposite of that. Well, Cody did. Oh, man. Is that what we're saying? No. Holy shit. Your superpower to loved it.
Starting point is 00:25:53 He looks like a child? She. No. I went to a porn convention and there's this chick named Tiny Texi. It's Tiny Texi, right? Yeah. Yeah. Sure.
Starting point is 00:26:02 But she's not stumpy like midgets. She's proportionate, but she's still this tall. Wow. And she does, I think she does porn, but she definitely strips. Is she nine? He looks, yeah. That's the problem. She looks weird.
Starting point is 00:26:16 That's the problem. Her voice isn't that. Her voice is like a nine year old. It's weird. Like he thought a little kid was at the convention. Wait, she does porn? I don't know. She's at least a stripper.
Starting point is 00:26:30 Bare minimum a stripper. What's her name? Tiny Texas? Are your powers active? I'm going to find out. Tiny Texas. I can't wait for this reaction because it is... I'm not going to look. no. I've already loved it. Yes the one on the right like
Starting point is 00:26:53 Now really awesome here zoom in real quick mm-hmm I get it. No, I get it. Yeah, I'll sub. I get it. And with my superpowers, I can clearly see through her clothes. Which is amazing. You have to burn your phone now before you go back to Canada. You're not going to be allowed back with that.
Starting point is 00:27:21 No, they allow that, but let criminals go. Canada is pretty slack. Every bit of freedom of speech, though. Yeah, but this and a gun? I'm not. Yeah. What about freedom of speech though? Yeah, but this and a gun? I'm not kidding. Exactly. You take a picture of a gun, you better watch out. Totally cool.
Starting point is 00:27:33 Guns, no go. Yeah. That's the title of this episode. Brownface is also our leader. Brownface is also. If we do blackface or brownface, that's no problem. But yeah, guns are, We don't talk about those.
Starting point is 00:27:46 Yeah. We don't talk about the gun things. Let's not start now. What's better than a well-marbled ribeye sizzling on the barbecue? A well-marbled ribeye sizzling on the barbecue that was carefully selected by an Instacart shopper and delivered to your door. A well-marbled ribeye you ordered without even leaving the kiddie pool. Whatever groceries your summer calls for, Instacart has you covered.
Starting point is 00:28:08 Download the Instacart app and enjoy $0 delivery fees on your first three orders. Service fees, exclusions, and terms apply. Instacart, groceries that over-deliver. Did you know that Trudeau was actually, like, he didn't just brownface once? He's like a repeat offender. Okay, brown face. Are we talking like Eli? No, no.
Starting point is 00:28:30 Yeah. He went full. He went like Sri Lankan. Oh, yeah. Like shark. Yep. And like turban. But he also went like brown arms, brown legs.
Starting point is 00:28:41 He didn't stop on the face, right? But he's a cosplayer. Yeah, cosplaying. He was my face right but then he did it every year so they confronted like what was this he's like I was drunk I was at a party he's like whatever this one he's like short-circuit that was the same era they had a real white actor doing brown costume face
Starting point is 00:29:07 everything for that movie so I forgot about that he's doing the same time so I'm like I'm not gonna yeah the guy's white as fuck
Starting point is 00:29:15 they did that show so short circuit guy was white and he's like Johnny 5 I'm alive 90 whatever and Trudeau's out there
Starting point is 00:29:23 being like I'm also gonna play Aladdin in his Halloween costume I don't want to defend the guy but like it wasn't everyone was doing it I'm just saying like I got a couple pictures too Johnny Five Alive dude
Starting point is 00:29:42 you're going to love our audience but seriously like I feel like Trudeau could have not brown-faced, wore the turban, and still looked like Aladdin. Yeah, but you go to Brown Town, and you're much more convincing. Right? But the turban. When you go to Brown Town, it usually. Is that the kind?
Starting point is 00:30:01 I understand. I get it. Eating ass is cool now. It's 2022. That's what I'm saying. That's a very down Brown town. Sounds like a children's show. Come on down Brown town.
Starting point is 00:30:13 No, it doesn't. It does not. Oh my God. You are not joking. He straight went fucking Brown. That's not him. Oh wait. That's not Trudeau.
Starting point is 00:30:23 That's the actor from Short Story. He's like his actual Brown actor. I'm like, that is not Justin Trudeau. That's the actor from Short Sleeve. I'm like, that is not Justin Trudeau. Yeah. Yeah. That guy is. What? But I don't know the movie Short Sleeve. How do you guys say that apart?
Starting point is 00:30:34 But he also looked apart, though. Indian? Yeah. What are they called? They're called South Asian at home. Because we don't know if they're Indian 100%. They might not be from India. Wait, what do you call them?
Starting point is 00:30:44 South Asian. South Asian? Yeah. I was being PC from India. Wait, what do you call them? South Asian. South Asian? Yeah. I was being PC. Yeah, that's what you would call them. Really? Alright, bottom of the barrel podcast. Yeah. If you want to learn all the real terms. South Asian. Bottom of the barrel. Salvation.
Starting point is 00:30:58 No. The salvation one. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I'm sorry. Cody, I just decided on a mini mullet. Man, holy shit. You guys want to see a magic trick? Yes.
Starting point is 00:31:15 Baddie, mute it. We just ruined magic. Hey, if you're listening to our podcast today, fuck you. You want to hear something? I'll describe exactly what Chris is doing. Which is the one? Do that. I'll do it right now.
Starting point is 00:31:31 You're going to make a bottle of this beer in your ass? Oh yeah. Don't give it away. Don't give it away. You shit three out. You actually are going to make a bottle. Give me the close up on the bottle. Take a bottle. I go with a Corona bottle. I put it in a bag. He's puttingup on the bottle. Take a bottle. I go with a Corona bottle.
Starting point is 00:31:45 I put it in a bag. Yep. He's putting an empty Corona bottle. Lean closer to Batty so you get that nice. Come over this way. Move this way. There you go. Oh.
Starting point is 00:31:53 This side. Okay. Yep. I take a Corona bottle. Yep, Corona bottle. And I put it in a paper bag. In a shit bag. And then I do the move.
Starting point is 00:32:04 That's the move. Right right and then you flick it and then you turn it over vanish it's gone we'll never see it again I'll bring it back oh yes can I try that one alright
Starting point is 00:32:19 I can do it I refill the bottle refill the the bottle, refill the bottle, refill the bottle I feel cheap because I looked at the bag earlier Nope, here we go Is that a full crumb? Is that a full crumb bottle now? Okay Okay, they don't fucking care, watch I'm explaining to them!
Starting point is 00:32:39 You don't have to, we're idiots Alright, fuck it, fuck it, fuck it, fuck it I'm upset Wait, Patty, what the fuck? Patty, what? I'm upset nothing to see motherfucker the bag that we did it bought this or that table here this is great table that is like what oh yes daddy I'm a good position yeah fucking weirdo who looks stupid now baby yeah yeah fucking goon bad is this in the next hour feel bad
Starting point is 00:33:17 for the stable right right right right the table Eli huh can I bore that mug over there you see that mug the there? You see that mug? The postcard. Which mug? The mug that said the beer mug. I was like, I knew what was happening. I see that bag.
Starting point is 00:33:30 Hey, buddy. Yo, I don't want to touch you. Yeah. Let me do it with your dick. It's in your ass. Hey, Wes. Wes. Check this out.
Starting point is 00:33:37 Oh, here. Okay. Can I use this? This is fine? If you're listening to this episode, fuck you. You need to wash this. We got a beer mug here. Did you guys bring that?
Starting point is 00:33:46 Hold this, hold this like this. No, like hold the handle. Everyone, what the fuck's going on right now? This is... All right, you got a beer mug. I'm gonna give you something to listen to if you're listening to only on audio, I'm gonna give you guys something to listen to, okay?
Starting point is 00:34:02 All right. So... Where's the bottle? I'll get it, I got you. Where's the bottle? So we got a mug here, you guys see that listen to okay all right so i'll get it i got you so we got a mug here you guys see that on the line yeah see that on the line yep or on the center you fucking go is that a real mug is that a real mug is that how you test real mugs you want to hand it over make sure it's no i don't want to touch it it's your mug it's not my mug want to drink out of it okay it's real. No, I don't want to touch it. It's your mug. It's not my mug. I want to drink out of it. Okay, it's real. I picked it up so I can verify that is a very real mug.
Starting point is 00:34:29 Hold it up a bit. I want you guys to... What's like a magic word we can invent right now? No, no, no. No, no, no. Cody's going to start flying away. Cody's like... Cody, don't say the N word. Benjamin!
Starting point is 00:34:46 A magic word. We'll make merch out of it, guys. We'll make merch out of the magic word that they're going to say. What's the name? What's the magic word? Is it... Sploogican. Sploogican. Can you say Sploogican on three?
Starting point is 00:35:02 One, two, three. Sploogican. Can you say splooge again on three? One, two, three. Splooge. Oh my god. I don't know. What the fuck? You demon. He's a demon. Why are you a demon?
Starting point is 00:35:19 What the fuck? Yeah, broken glass. Where did the sunglasses come from? The more confused it does here I'll throw a glass you be careful don't cut yourself man this should have been probably the last trick Chris said earlier he's like I'll do this at the end that's the earlier time you said
Starting point is 00:35:40 you didn't care about the table yeah you started breaking shit on the table alright at least oh there's a piece down there Table yeah, you started breaking show the table all right Why are you picking up the glass with your teeth? I was inside and I needed to cut my hands. Where did the other corona bottle come from? Oh fuck, what a life, what a life boys. Imagine if we do this for a living. Give me this part right here. Yeah the funniest thing is so like, okay there's a magic trick where- It's sharp!
Starting point is 00:36:20 There's a magic trick where we all- It's real! We eat light bulbs, right? All of us? We're not gonna do it here, but like the fucking thing with the light bulb is Where did this come from did you bring this cup? No? Yes Here in your house Let's get me for now. I'm not ready for this I wasn't ready for this It's just a the size the cut is where the location right so if it hits your name other than that you're fine
Starting point is 00:37:18 Buddy it's He thought there was gonna be beer that's just gonna be the mug that's actually really interesting. It means he's an alcoholic What the fuck? Did we just murder him here? Yes, because you fucked up a matter of choice. Okay, the bottle disappeared and you broke the mug. Where'd the bottle go? See, Chris, someone on this side of the table likes my trick better. No, fuck, your trick sucked, his was better. But where did the bottle go?
Starting point is 00:38:00 That doesn't mean I have a mug. He shattered a cup with his mind. Where's the butt? I finished it with my brain. That doesn't mean I'll be like, he shattered a cup with his mind! Where's the butt? I finished it with my brain! What did you say before he started the trick? You're going to make a bottle disappear. Yeah! And appear in your ass.
Starting point is 00:38:16 So tonight when you go to sleep, when you go to sleep, you wake up and you'll go, and you'll go, is there a pump in my ass? If we get that text, they'll be like, two-way hand.
Starting point is 00:38:27 Guys! Check your butt. Yeah, but he's like, what the fuck, dude? It's a bottle of Doss's skis. What the fuck, dude? It's not even Corona. Why is there a Corona in my ass?
Starting point is 00:38:35 Dude, they got us two bottles of Shibuya. One was a surprise. No joke, no joke. I'm doing a... It's sealed. What the fuck? I was doing a gig at some fancy corporate thing. I'm walking around doing card tricks and I do a card trick for this couple. Right. This guy's wife picks a card.
Starting point is 00:38:58 I do a fancy trick. I pull out the card all cocky. I'm like, that's your card. She's like, that's not my card. And I'm like, oh. And I'm like, we'll put it under your pillow and tomorrow it'll be your card and she'd leave I grab her husband find her actual card handed it to him
Starting point is 00:39:12 I said you know what to do so at night she I guess she did next day I wake up to a fucking email this fucking law my wife's freaking out right now she thinks someone broke into her house she's like someone broke into her house violated her while she was sleeping and into her house, violated her, and wants you to sleep. And he's like, you said I know what to do, and I don't think I really understood.
Starting point is 00:39:30 We were miscommunicating. I put the card in her pussy, was that right? I went into the pillow, and he's like, you said it in her pussy. It was a lot. Those words are easily confusing. Yeah, so either way, I have a poor date. He's like, I put the pillow over her face, just like I said. The card was nowhere near her face. There are very few things that you can be certain of in life.
Starting point is 00:40:08 But you can always be sure the sun will rise each morning. You can bet your bottom dollar that you'll always need air to breathe and water to drink. And, of course, you can rest assured that with Public Mobile's 5G subscription phone plans, you'll pay the same thing every month. With all of the mysteries that life has to offer, a few certainties can really go a long way. Subscribe today for the peace of mind you've been searching for. Public Mobile. Different is calling. No, there was- I- I- Motherfucker, I looked in that brown bag when I was sent- Well that should teach you a lesson. There was two bottles!
Starting point is 00:40:47 Now there's one! And it- I don't know where- You batty the shit. I'm one step ahead of you, Batty. I'm one step ahead. Go look at the batty. Alright. This podcast is fine.
Starting point is 00:40:58 Hey, Batty, you can't go look at a two bottle snake by sticking your head in a bull's ass. Hey, Batty, don't do it! Don't do it. Don't do it. Wait, did you ruin the night? You're both sick by sticking your head in a bull's ass. Don't do it. Don't do it. Wait, did you ruin the magic? Or you can take the butcher's word for it. Magic is dead.
Starting point is 00:41:16 I know, bad is not. Don't do it, Maddie. Don't do it. Oh, you like magic, Maddie. Don't do it. Maddie, are you going to go commit Ryan Reynolds? gonna go commit Ryan podcast I've ever done in my life This is so great Danny do push-ups You're gonna do this for the rest of your life. What the fuck? What the fuck, dude?
Starting point is 00:41:46 How did you set this up? I feel like it's unfair that we did one for Baddie and one for Cody, but none for Eli. So I'm gonna do one for Eli here. Do one for Eli. Eli. Oh, give him the Eli trick. Oh yeah. There's an Eli trick!
Starting point is 00:42:00 Yeah, there's an Eli trick. Eli, hold your hands up like this. He just writes Beaner on my head. Hold your permanent marker. Hold your your permanent marker There's my magic trick You fucking beater I like that trick Are you left handed or right handed Right
Starting point is 00:42:16 Close both your hands And drop one of your hands Alright perfect Point your finger out like this. All right. Where'd you get a fucking marker? Check this out. Is that the magic trick?
Starting point is 00:42:30 Check this out. What does that look like? It's an X. Yeah. See that? It's a T. X. Next.
Starting point is 00:42:37 It's actually a cross. We're gonna burn it. Time to get out. Check it out. All right, watch. It's an X, watch, ready? All bags. Ready, watch. Do this X. What? Watch, watch. Time to get out Ready watch
Starting point is 00:42:47 Do sex what watch watch watch watch this is rubbing sand no wait Rushing Open your hand didn't touch them down there I don't feel good. I don't feel good. No, lick it. It's real. I'm ascending Jimmy I don't feel good I'm not ready for this You Damon What the fuck is this shit, but you know bottom of the God. It must be really hard to get laid as you guys When you were single Watch what happens when I come. Check your back pocket. She's like, oh my God, I'm serious. Look at my back pocket.
Starting point is 00:44:08 Just a pocket. That sums it up. I don't feel good. I don't feel good. I'm a throw up. I'll show you a magic trick later. I legit. All right, Cody.
Starting point is 00:44:22 I legit learned magic to meet chicks when I was like 19. And then I'd go to the bar. I do a card chick I'd be like hey ten seconds later. The girls are gone. I'm surrounded by 30 dudes be like you must get so much pussy So it's with the other boys by the party like every inch of fucking pussy. That's all it is next trick everybody take your dick out Everyone surround me now jerk off All right, take one take it out Okay, you got it? Can I look at it?
Starting point is 00:45:07 Yeah, of course you can look at it. I don't want to look at it. Did you force this card into my hand? No, of course not. Spades. Spades. Wrong. Of course I don't know that it's the Jack of Hearts, but it's fine.
Starting point is 00:45:17 Wait, is it? Jack of Hearts. But it's fine. How the fuck did you pick that? You fucking weirdo. Just to make sure that it's the only Jack of Hearts in the world. What the fuck? It's funny. How the fuck did you pick that? You fucking weirdo. But just to make sure that it's the only jack of hearts in the world. What the fuck? Like, it's fine.
Starting point is 00:45:28 It's the jack of hearts. Write your name on it. I don't want it. Write your name on it. Just so. No, but like. I don't trust him. Go away, demon.
Starting point is 00:45:38 Batty, so we know that that's the only jack of hearts like that in the entire world if you write your name on it, yes? Yeah. Okay, write your name. Okay. Big, big, so we can all see it big big big scribble on it make it make it scribble i scribble is that yeah nobody's gonna see it but it's there yeah okay here's your demon marker thank you i'll put this back in the deck baddie don't your hand out like no and put your come here closer come closer and put your other hand here closer. I don't want to.
Starting point is 00:46:05 And put your other hand on top of it. Cover it up. I'm going to reach in there and find your card. Why does that top card feel fucky? Did you cheat? No, look. This is magic. Look.
Starting point is 00:46:15 That's not your card, is it? That's not your card? Why does it say that? Why does it say that? It's not your card. Okay, fine. I fucked up. I messed up. But here. Close your hands. Close your hands. Close your card. Okay fine, I fucked up. I messed up.
Starting point is 00:46:25 But here, close your hands, close your hands, close your hands. Okay, don't move. Okay, I got it. But don't move. I did mess up a little bit. So I'm gonna redeem myself. What if I see this card disappear right now? Would that be cool? Yeah, one, two, three. Gone? Okay, no, it's not really gone. But what if I made the entire deck you're holding on to right now completely fucking vanish oh wait what bad the crony can't find oh my god oh we have a quick sponsor I
Starting point is 00:47:37 Want to hear your pitch first go I mean this is a really sexy pillow Is this the first time I've ever held a ghost? Yeah, and I'm not even joking their mattresses saying this. I'm just doing this. They're doing mattresses. They yeah. They're doing mattresses now? Now they're doing mattresses. They're doing mattresses now? They started out with ghost pillow and now they're ghost bed. If the mattresses anything like this, I would.
Starting point is 00:47:55 They rebranded to ghost bed after ghost pillow. They're doing mattresses now? Yes, ghost bed. About time. wait till you see uh i don't know spooky pillow their beds are amazing i don't know if you're looking to fuck and you have you
Starting point is 00:48:18 you've probably been fucking on a fucking solid like bland bed right now like you know your dry dirty cum stain mattress that you have at home that you it's probably hammy down from like your uncle or something right here it's got some undetermined stains on it that you you're like is that poo blood or pee i don't know yes but it's a stain regardless and this right now is the upgrade you need to check out fucking ghost bed dude if you're bringing a girl home or a guy or a there or a fucking there's a whatever you want to bring
Starting point is 00:48:52 home lay them down on one of these bad boys holy shit dude it's actually super comfy fucking it's got a 20-year warranty you can try it out for the 101 and one nights. You can use Arabian nights. And you can send it back if you don't like it. No hard feelings, but I'm hard. One of our favorite parts about the ghost beds, each mattress has cooling technology in it. So if you get hot at night,
Starting point is 00:49:14 like in Texas, you guys came here. It was like, it's fucking hot. You're going to want a ghost bed because it's got cooling technology and shit. Ghost bed offers bundles. So you can get everything you need. You get pillows,
Starting point is 00:49:23 beds, choose from the four mattresses and pick your bundle. So whether or not you need a mattress in a frame or you want it all, you can get the best. Will they sell the frames too? Tell us more. Nod your head yes, Cody.
Starting point is 00:49:35 They're offering 30% off. If you use the code unsubscribe. Unsubscribe. Unsubscribe. At ghostbed.com slash unsubscribe. Get the best bag for your buck. Damn. 30%. And free shipping, right? And free shipping. Sure. We're saying. Subscribe at ghost bed comm slash unsubscribe Sure we're saying
Starting point is 00:49:51 Ship to Canada no And I was just joking but if you do come on these it flakes right off you know hours You just scratch it right off. I'm not joking UK flakes off. It's like But you get like scratch it on a dent like this and then you'll just see a flake I thought personally was a trap catching goes to fuck it Have you ever wanted to fuck it goes yeah well I'm gonna catch these fucking go yeah Real just a bunch of guy in clan hoods coming in You been setting me up for this why? I've been baiting you since the moment I met you.
Starting point is 00:50:47 I hate magicians. Oh, bro. I have an eyeball. Remember how many conversations we had in your car? Chug that. Chug it. I couldn't possibly shake it. Did you try to do tornado and fail?
Starting point is 00:51:03 No, he did. That worked. That worked. I'm going to chug Corona. I'm going to try something. You got an fail? No, he did. That worked. That worked. I'm not a chugger, Corona. I'm a chugger. You got an iPhone? No, hang on. I'm not done with this motherfucker, Chris.
Starting point is 00:51:11 Okay, hold on. I'm not done with this motherfucker. No, because he asked me. He said, What did you just have a pack of cards in your pocket? Everybody has a pack of cards in everybody's pocket. Come in your pockets. Okay. Because I asked you so many questions.
Starting point is 00:51:22 Do I have packs of cards? No, it's not a joke. I don't. It's in your ass. Okay. Because I actually... Packs for drawing out packs of cards? No, it's not a joke. I don't... It's in your ass. It's a deck card. It's a deck card. But I'm going to make more predictions. Because what you guys don't know is I drove with you for like half an hour today.
Starting point is 00:51:37 What did you do to me? I'm sorry. I drove... You're sorry. I went to your house. Yeah, you were in my home. But because I was doing all that, I would- I did it for a magic.
Starting point is 00:51:47 For why I was with you. That's why I jumped in your truck. So I made a prediction on- I'm very good at this. I know what- I know what card you would say. From now. Okay? Literally. Literally.
Starting point is 00:51:58 I know what card you would say. Okay! I gotta find it here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where is it? No, no, no. I'm gonna show you. It's in my pocket! It's in my ass! Alright, here we go. Here we go. This is your card. This is your card. This is your card. Yeah, yeah, where is it? This is your card this is your card this your card I'm gonna put it right here. Okay. I want you to a sleight of hand Name your card name a card. I'll let any card be as random as you want name any card jack of hearts
Starting point is 00:52:21 He said that earlier you can say no I didn't I didn't say that earlier You didn't know I said the eight of clubs earlier Whatever you want to say, what do you finally want to say in final choice? What does that mean I said I wanted to be the Jaguars remember the card then? Never show it never show it They deserve the best. They deserve the best. You just keep that in there. Do all the, what are the, are they normal, what's else in the pack of cards? They all say fuck you.
Starting point is 00:52:52 Do they all say fuck you? Yeah, every single one. What's a normal deck of cards? With just a secret fuck you. No, I don't have a fuck you card. Here, pick one. There's no fuck you card. Pick any one you want.
Starting point is 00:53:01 Might as well there's no fuck you card. Except for that one. They're all normal cards. I don't know why you pick a new fuck you card. I don't know why it's doesn't exist. I don't know why it's doesn't exist. I don't know why it's doesn't exist. I don't know why it doesn't exist. What are you doing? What are you doing that, Batty? I don't even know about the forced bullshit. Cause I have talked about it with Freddie.
Starting point is 00:53:19 How about if I throw it over there where you go look at it later? No! Batty, are you gonna touch that? It's gonna turn into Corona Bottle. Throw it over there. We go look at it later Turn into Corona Are you from bottom the barrel podcast I think I watched the Vodafone on the Barrel podcast. Yeah, it's a great fucking time. Fuck me, bed pillow, let's go to Vodafone on the Barrel. Yeah, dude. No, Ghost Bed time. Yeah, dude. We're not even sponsored by Ghost Bed on our podcast, but we still cum in them.
Starting point is 00:53:54 For free. We haven't even saved 30% of cum. Eva has an iPhone! I save 30% of cum every time I cum. I'm really cum-off. Who has an iPhone here? You got an iPhone? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:07 You got a passcode on it? Yeah, I have an iPhone. 100% Elon. Not me. He's got a girlfriend, so he's got a passcode. Yeah. Is it four numbers or six? Four.
Starting point is 00:54:18 Is it? Do you know it? No, I know it's six. Is it six? I thought it was four first. Is it four? Okay, close your phone. Close your phone.
Starting point is 00:54:26 Do you know it by heart? Yes. Just to be sure, make sure you know it by heart. Some people say they do and they don't. It's just a pattern recognition. You know the numbers individually by heart. Wipe the screen.
Starting point is 00:54:41 You told me you smell the phone to figure out the pattern. Did you sniff him out? He knows my butthole scent. All right. Open your calculator. You told me you smell the phone to figure out the pattern. Wait, did you sniff him out? Yeah. He knows my butthole scent. All right. I thought only I could do it. Open your calculator. Open your calculator.
Starting point is 00:54:51 Don't show me the phone. Hide this to yourself. No cameras. Open the calculator. Calculator app. You got it. Clear the screen. Clear, clear, clear.
Starting point is 00:55:00 You got it. All right. Put in a random six numbers. Random six numbers. Six might be hard for me. It's a lot of numbers. It's a random six numbers. Random six numbers. Six might be hard for me. It's a lot of numbers. It's a lot of numbers. So many numbers.
Starting point is 00:55:10 Put in a random six numbers. It's not your passcode. It's not your passcode. All right. Hit plus. All right. I want you to put in the birth year of someone close to you. Maybe not your girlfriend.
Starting point is 00:55:18 Maybe not your kid. Someone completely random that I wouldn't know. But put in their birth year. All right. Wait. Birth year? Yeah. birth year. Put that in. That's four numbers, Eli. That's four. I know. I'm going to break it down for you, Eli.
Starting point is 00:55:33 Eli's still struggling. Okay. I got it. All right. Hit plus again. Do you remember the address of the house you grew up in? No one here would know that, but do you remember the address of the house you grew up in? Yes one here would know that, but do you remember the address of the house you grew up in? Yes. Put that number in. The dirt floor?
Starting point is 00:55:49 Just put the address. I don't know what he's talking about. He's fucking insane. I hit plus. You got it? Now put in your passcode without showing anyone here and then hit equals after that. Put in your passcode and hit equals. That's why I asked you.
Starting point is 00:56:08 Can I see that number this is not your passcode yeah oops okay this is not your passcode that's the number he put in that's 1,479,132 just in case anyone wants to hack you that's 7 digits it's impossible that that's your passcode.
Starting point is 00:56:25 However, Eli, this might seem like a random number, but it is personal to you because if I had done this with anyone else, it would be a different number. You agree? This is maybe a personal number. We're going to clear screen here.
Starting point is 00:56:41 We choose passcodes in life, Eli, for two reasons. One, because we want to get into our phones quickly and two because it's a personal number to us now i'm not going to guess your passcode entirely but i will get close to it is that is that okay all right think of the first number in your only. I want you to scream it out loud. Scream it in your mind. You got it? You piece of shit.
Starting point is 00:57:10 So it's eight. Eight is the first one, right? Eight. Uh-huh. And the second one is zero, yes? Yeah. Is there a two? No, but there's a one, yes?
Starting point is 00:57:22 Yeah. Eight, zero, one? No. But there is a one, yes? Yeah. 8-0-1? No. But there is a one. There is no two? 8-0-1. 8-0. I don't like that he got the first two really good.
Starting point is 00:57:37 I'm like, I don't like the Sturck anymore. There's another one, though. No, it's just 1-1. There's just 1-1? It's like, it's something 1-5. just one one. It's like it's something one five. Yes. Why do I have to change my number now? I literally now have to change
Starting point is 00:57:51 my password. Eight zero one five. Right. That's what we're dealing with now. Uh huh. You piece of shit. What? We'll leave it at that. I'll leave it there. Uh-huh You piece of shit Of course At least secure Eli. Where's the health? Leave it at Express. What the fuck? Can you do that too?
Starting point is 00:58:26 Yeah, of course. Every magician can. No, you can't. Check your ass. Use your own bottle. There you go. In the bag. There's no way.
Starting point is 00:58:34 Your passcode's in the bag. The bag is stumbling dirty. There's no way. There's no way to have that. Chris has a style of magic I don't do. Like he will know what car I'll do something like this like the mind shit I Cody
Starting point is 00:58:50 I Want you to take I want you to take any card you like don't pick the one he wants he's gonna do it What that one or you want to change it you can put it back if you want You want that one have a look at it show it to everyone. Don't show me. Oh, no Cody. Oh, no Yeah, I got it. Yeah, put it back in the deck no, Cody. Is this the same fuck you? Oh no. You got it? Yeah, I got it. Put it back in the deck. Wait, did you show the camera?
Starting point is 00:59:08 You show the camera? Show the camera. Is that still the one? Yeah. All right, we're gonna shuffle this up. How do the sound effects? Shuffle, shuffle, shuffle, shuffle, shuffle, shuffle. Okay, watch.
Starting point is 00:59:23 Bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep. Here's what we're gonna do. What's that? It's shuffle, tones, shuffle, shuffle. Okay, watch. Bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep. Here's what we're going to do. It's shuffle, tones, or bleeps. Do you believe in intuition? Do you believe that we have intuition? No, you're a wizard. Okay, but intuition does exist. A grand wizard. A grand wizard.
Starting point is 00:59:35 You are a wizard. I am a grand wizard. Intuition does exist. Where are the black people? Intuition does exist, and it is a feeling. It is something you feel deep inside. It's something that you can't explain. It's just something that happens that you're like a gut feeling.
Starting point is 00:59:55 Don't snap ever again. Now, we need you to channel into that gut feeling for this trick to work. Okay, now I've shuffled the deck, and I go, I'll shuffle it again. It doesn't matter where your card is because this has nothing to do with me. It has nothing to do with sleight of hand, but it has everything to do you and your intuition. So what you're going to do is I'm nude.
Starting point is 01:00:15 It's Cody's dick. I want you to hold the card. Don't hold him. He's lying. I want you to deal the cards down one at a time. From the top? Yep. Stop it. Stop it. And the top? Yep. Keep dealing.
Starting point is 01:00:26 Stop it. Stop it. And whenever, keep going, keep going. And whenever you want to stop, Cody, whenever you want to stop, you just say stop. Whenever you want. I say stop and then I stop. Yes, you stop whenever you want. Now, do you want this card or this card, Cody?
Starting point is 01:00:42 This card. Right here? So we're going to leave that there. Cody, you chose a card. I? We're going to leave that there. Cody, you chose a card. I have no idea what that card is. Only they know and you guys know what that card is. I'm so uncomfortable.
Starting point is 01:00:53 I just wanted you to solve puzzles. Cody, you dealt the cards yourself. Yes. For the first time, Cody, what was the card that you chose? The Queen of Hearts. How fucking amazing would your intuition be if you stopped exactly What was the card that you chose? The queen of hearts. How fucking amazing would your intuition be if you stopped exactly at the queen of hearts?
Starting point is 01:01:12 Pretty good, huh? Cody? Yeah. I don't want to touch the card. I'm gonna have you do that. What, holy fuck, bro. Stop it. What the fuck is this demon magic i don't that's fucking rad okay okay okay but like i hate it i'm so stupid don't how did don't put it back, what's going on in your pocket? Take a shot? Yeah?
Starting point is 01:01:47 fucking magic Already shot your report your report. I'm gonna report a port of order for me. There's already yep. I poured many okay, Cody Do you want one? Why did you? What's in your pocket? What else you have in your pocket? Oh, we got a measure. I'll measure these no But what else you have in your body? Oh, we got a measure. I'll measure these no, but what else you have in your body? I don't trust you expired plane ticket You have any questions about managing these like yeah, fuck you
Starting point is 01:02:15 Yeah, no, how did you write that more than a shot? Yeah, I'll take it. I'll take that one. I'll do the double as they say in Braveheart Cheers, Cody thought the trick was so good. He had a knock one off real quick Surprise you're doing really good magic today. Thank you No, it's like your YouTube channel. It's usually not that good. It's usually, this is magic. This is magic. It's like my channel. It's usually, it's usually 95 takes and then it works. But today somehow, by some There's glass on his feet. There's glass.
Starting point is 01:02:57 Legitimate glass on his feet. How did you shatter the cup? Did you put the shattered glass in his butt? Yeah, normally, normally all that takes a hundred takes, but today we just got lucky and everything worked out. I don't believe you and that's the problem. I don't know what to believe right now. That's making it hard because I'm already kind of a fucking idiot.
Starting point is 01:03:15 I'm not a smart man. I know that. Yeah, no one accused you of that. No. No one ever accused you of being a smart man. That's how you're talking. No one's like, daddy's a smart man. That's not your crock. No one's like, that is smart man. Okay, can you fucking... Yes.
Starting point is 01:03:30 Come back to yourself? Yep. First try. First try? I don't want to do it. I can do one of these. Oh, he's way better. Okay, he's not as good.
Starting point is 01:03:44 Ready? Got it. Ready's not as good. Ready? Ready for the lens? The middle one? Right there. Right on the lens. Make that card disappear. You can't see it on camera. It's stuck in the wall. He killed four people. He's a pedophile gambit.
Starting point is 01:04:00 He can see Kato's naked and throw a shotgun. Hey, boys. Cheers! Un-subscribe. This is one of the best podcasts I've ever been on in my life. 100%. This is so much fun. You guys are absolutely beauties.
Starting point is 01:04:08 I'm uncomfortable. I love you guys. Oh fuck! You have to do it. You guys are fucking legends. Like and subscribe. Whoa. You're right on your sound mixer.
Starting point is 01:04:17 I'm sorry. You got... Pretty good, eh? I didn't drink it. It's not good. Did you cum? In the bathroom? Yeah, dude.
Starting point is 01:04:24 After I showed you that trick? It was pretty quick. I got it. the bathroom? Yeah, it's pretty quick I got it like oh man. It was a queen of hearts. He did The entire time he had to just go he's ever do a live event anything Hopefully doing one soon. You ever get that feeling of being on stage though and like performing like, magic tricks are obviously an outlier experience,
Starting point is 01:04:50 but like performing something's a weird thing where you're like, it needs to happen. You ever have that at all? And even individually, you ever like, we were so out there, we were like, mm, this gotta go well. Why do you have two empty packs of cards? I don't even follow that.
Starting point is 01:05:03 I can't stop watching twitch is like the most live experience I think all right that's very live though yeah we do that big twitch streamer also fucking like what the guys do it's and then we do the big events
Starting point is 01:05:20 it's always like hey we have oh hold on can I can I oh you are twitch gone you have a fucking yeah no which one are you on It's always like oh Whether you're at which God or is that the bars around which condoms in Diego I myself from 2 3.30 will have an actual meet and greet event in San Diego. At TwitchCon. There's not a lot of those going on right now. So if you want to get in line
Starting point is 01:05:53 and wait for me to sign your titties, I'll do it. Or penis. I'll sign a dick. Maybe not a tit, but I'll sign a shaft. I'll sign an upper shaft once. Batting up the shaft looks good. The guy was asleep and he didn't know Maybe not a tip but also The shaft good bottom chat sleep and he knows there, but I signed it
Starting point is 01:06:26 See if your mouth can fit in my mouth. Can you dethrone that? No, I don't think so. Have you seen this magic trick? I don't think so. Oh, you don't even know. I forgot you don't know anything about me. Chris, no. This is what I'm known for.
Starting point is 01:06:44 Check me out on OF! 100% I'm known for swallowing a 60 inch balloon. Oh you didn't see this? Why the fuck would I Google that? No hold on! Why would I Google a guy who can swallow a 60 inch balloon? You guys think I'm fucking Chris' sidekick. No no no no.
Starting point is 01:07:04 No I think you're the main kick. He's not fucking my sidekick at all. He's the main piece. Is he fucking you? I'm not going to swallow the balloon here. That's too much. Do you have a balloon in your pocket? Do you have a balloon in your pocket?
Starting point is 01:07:14 Chris, do you have a balloon in your pocket? Go get it. You have a balloon in the car? Get the balloon. Yes. If I have it, I'll do it. I don't have it. I'll get the fan.
Starting point is 01:07:22 You know you have one. Don't you love how he set this up? Wait, you guys don't know I'm known for I'll get the fan Don't you love how he set this up wait you guys don't know I'm known for swallowing the boy. It's in my car I don't know if it's there. We'll see He's like, maybe. Maybe you're all lucky enough to see the Great West Barger swallow a balloon. Who knows? It's in my car, though. You never googled who can swallow 60-inch balloons before? Oh, fucking loser. Get back here.
Starting point is 01:07:57 I'm still betrayed after the bag incident with the Corona bottle. I'm more sad he does this with his butthole, not his mouth. It's an amazing challenge. I can swallow it. He didn't say we're swallowing it. Yeah, he he does this with his butthole, not his mouth. It's an amazing challenge. I can swallow it. He didn't say we're swallowing it. Yeah, he's just like his butt. I was like, all right, look,
Starting point is 01:08:09 I'm going to, while he does that, while he does that, look, it's horrifying. He sits in on his chair. Chris is like, watch this. He's blowing it up. Then Chris is like,
Starting point is 01:08:20 okay, guys, ready? He just sits down. I'm like, and then I watch it. I'll never see it again. It's fun forever. Okay guys ready Legit they don't have one I don't believe you Like they're all shuffled. No, you not. You're a magician. Everything you do is bullshit! Are they not shuffled?
Starting point is 01:08:47 That one. Are they not shuffled? Yes. They are shuffled. Okay. Um, I want you to name any card. Wait, you name any card. It's Elias or Baddy's turn.
Starting point is 01:08:57 You name any card. Two of spades. Two of spades. Two of spades. Two of spades. Alright. Um. Here's the fucked up part. Two of spades all right um here's the fucked up part two spades don't look at me
Starting point is 01:09:08 you're not allowed to look at me all right what's your full name no that's kyle but that's we'll bleep it kyle batty no say your name that's fine we'll bleep it fine if you want to do batty kyle batty it's kyle batty how do you spell it k- K-Y-L-E-B-A-T-T-I-E. Take this deck of cards. Look, I'm not touching it. Take this deck of cards. Take it. I'm not touching it.
Starting point is 01:09:35 Don't touch it, Wes. Take the deck of cards. I'm trying not to. All right. I want you, card for card, to spell your name. You said what card? Two of spades? Yeah. I want you to spell your name, card for card, to spell your name. You said what card? Two of spades? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:09:46 I want you to spell your name, card for card, turn and face up. How do I spell? K-Y. Let's go. Okay. Jelly. K-Y. There you go.
Starting point is 01:09:57 Y-L-E-B-A-D-Y. Now, don't move. Don't move. Kyle Batty. E B A D D Y Now don't move, don't move. Kyle Batty. Don't- no. It- it could- you could've named any card whatsoever. Yeah! I want you to show that card to the camera.
Starting point is 01:10:16 I don't wanna show it. Show it. I don't- I didn't touch that deck. Show the- show the camera. I'm not gonna- I'm not gonna look. Is it? AHHHHH! Sorry. I'm gonna throw up! I didn't know that was- the camera I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, That's so funny. What the fuck?
Starting point is 01:11:06 You she-devil. Holy shit. What the fuck? How did you do that? I don't know. My cum is now in your pants. Check your pocket. He pulls out and just licks through his fingers. It's my cum in your pocket.
Starting point is 01:11:18 It is. And he's just like, ah! Oh, my fingers are drinking. My fingers are sticking. It's like, it's a cup! Drink it all to prove it! It's in your white claw now! Yeah, you wait till back takes it.
Starting point is 01:11:31 How did you do that? Am I allowed to ask that? Everyone initially instinctively wants to know how. How are you allowed to ask? There's two things. One, you don't really want to know how. What are you going to ask? But first, there's two things.
Starting point is 01:11:45 One, you don't really want to know. You don't. I did. No. Second of all, I did. Second of all, I can tell you,
Starting point is 01:11:53 the one thing I can tell you is that that is about 12 years of my life. That's what I can tell you. You spent 12 years making that work. I can, I spend about- Chris is a slow learner. Three for most. 12 years of my life.
Starting point is 01:12:11 He's in class with Ryan. My son's like, touch the deck. For you to name a card. Hey! And for that card to be there. All right. That's your answer that Some people join the army and some people got good at dumb shit
Starting point is 01:12:36 No, but dumb shit one out of the internet You're right you're right Chris is of the shit all of a sudden Go Cody You're right. You're right. And even as good as Chris is at this shit, all of a sudden. Here, give him back the deck. Cody, go Cody. Cody, take the cards. All of a sudden they've been like. Put them under the table. All right, cut the deck anywhere in half you like.
Starting point is 01:12:55 Anywhere. Doesn't have to be in half, but just cut it and put the bottom at the top. You did it? Keep it under, keep it under. Do it again, do it again, do it again. Cut again? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:13:05 All right, cool. You want to cut again? again. Cut again? Yeah. All right. Cool. You want to cut again? Yes. Cut again. Cody's magically holding his penis. You want to cut again? He's running his cock on you right now. Take the top card.
Starting point is 01:13:14 Sit on it. Don't look at it. Sit on it. Don't look at it. Oh, that's sexy ass. All right. At this point, none of us have any idea of what your card is. Yes?
Starting point is 01:13:23 What did you just do? Your ball hole nose. What did you just do your ball? Like the cards Like the cards, what does that happen? It's called a riffle shuffle. I think I don't know No one believes in this growing this this is a shovel deck of cards You cut how many times? Three times.
Starting point is 01:13:50 Essentially, you shuffle the deck under the table. And you took a card and you place it under and there's no way that either of us could know what that card is. There's no way. Is it black or red? Red. Is it hearts or diamonds?
Starting point is 01:14:05 Diamonds. Okay. Quickly, out of the top of your head, name a number between zero and 13. Go. Ten. Close. Why is it close?
Starting point is 01:14:15 Because it was the nine of diamonds. Is your butthole a nine? What the fuck? Bro. No. Can you control the door he has the dune sandworm in his powers your butthole came out look related to Chris demon we burned Chris Christian control everything but the algorithm. I mean, I don't know.
Starting point is 01:14:49 His channel seems... No, no, no. Please sub to Bottom of the Barrel. Dude, you want to see something? Watch this. Bottom of the Barrel podcast. This is my magical spell. Bottom of the Barrel podcast.
Starting point is 01:15:01 Yeah. Check it out on YouTube. Bottom of the Barrel podcast. Now watch me control the algorithm on a Bottom of the Bar a bottom of the barrel not working. That's so weird For watching this is your podcast day as always We have Chris and Wes can you guys Chris real quick where are you at bottom of the barrel no where is Chris Chris Ramsey check me out Wes Barker
Starting point is 01:15:29 stunt magician don't be confused with stud magician they'll never be confused nobody gets it bottom of the podcast please go check our new friends out and we'll see you all on the after show unsubscribe
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