Unsubscribe Podcast - 75 - THE GREAT DRUNK MAGICIANS ft. Chris Ramsay & Wes Barker
Episode Date: October 12, 2022Unsubscribe Ep75 - THE GREAT DRUNK MAGICIANS ft. Chris Ramsay & Wes Barker ABRA KADABRA ALAKBLAM!! HOLY DRUNK WIZARDS BATMAN! TODAY @Chris Ramsay and @WES Barker COME ON BY AND MAGIC ARE MINDS WITH WA...Y TOOOO MUCH BOOZ! ------------------------------ CHECK OUT TODAYS VIDEO SPONSOR, GHOSTBED Right now GhostBed is offering 30% off everything if you use the code - UNSUBSCRIBE at checkout or visit https://www.ghostbed.com/pages/unsubscribe ------------------------------ GO FOLLOW CHRIS AND WES! @Chris Ramsay https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrPUg54jUy1T_wII9jgdRbg https://www.instagram.com/chrisramsay52/?hl=en @WES Barker https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCM3e8MIdaDQrowdqdPEw-gQ https://www.instagram.com/stuntmagician/?hl=en ------------------------------ OUR MERCH: https://www.bunkerbranding.com/pages/unsubscribe-podcast JOIN THE PATREON NOW: https://www.patreon.com/UnsubscribePodcast WE HAVE A SUBREDDIT??? https://www.reddit.com/r/UNSUBSCRIBEpodcast/ CHECK OUT https://outofregz.com/ CODE: UNSUB http://gfuel.com/discount/baddie CODE: BADDIE ------------------------------ WHERE TO LISTEN Spotify https://spoti.fi/2Ye8YOU Apple Podcasts https://apple.co/3cbqY4k Amazon https://amzn.to/2YbzQia Google Play https://bit.ly/2YcWmaD Stitcher https://bit.ly/3cbnY8o MORE LINKS! https://linktr.ee/UnsubscribePodCast ------------------------------ Follow the Cast of Unsubscribe -Baddie- @Baddie Streams https://www.twitch.tv/baddie https://twitter.com/BaddieStreams https://www.instagram.com/baddiestreams/ https://www.youtube.com/baddiestreams -DonutOperator- @Donut Operator @Operation Donut https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwkm_Wcyh0pc7UUmZZfL-6w https://www.instagram.com/donutoperator/ https://www.twitch.tv/DonutOperator https://twitter.com/DonutOperator -Eli_Doubletap- @elidoubletap https://www.instagram.com/eli_doubletap/ https://www.twitch.tv/Eli_Doubletap https://twitter.com/Eli_Doubletap https://www.youtube.com/c/EliDoubletap ------------------------------ Edited by Fluck https://www.twitch.tv/fluck twitchcon 2022 reaction Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Thanks, guys.
Sink it.
Oh!
Yeah, it's a lot confusing, Fluck.
Fluck, that's all right.
There's Fluck, by the way.
Here, let me get Fluck.
Is that yours?
Literally, his username is that.
Let's Fluck this game.
Yeah.
I'll Fluck this game?
That's not as cool.
Random as shit.
He's actually thinking about changing it.
Can we all just talk about how dumb it would be to change the username Fluck?
Like, that's a great username.
He's like, just Fluck?
It's just Fluck.
It's also just F-L-U-C-K?
Yeah.
Keep that.
Forever Fluck.
Forever and ever.
It's also his password, though.
That's why he wants to change it.
Or Fluck it.
Pass that to your children.
Cody, would you like one?
Are we doing this?
We brought some Japanese whiskey as a gift.
We have an unsubscribed podcast.
I know you guys are going to be nervous.
This is the first guest that brought us a gift.
Yeah, a lot of thought.
Wait, is it really?
Name one other guest.
I couldn't name any other guests.
I don't remember any of them.
He's like, I can't name a guest.
Are we good on audio?
Mm-hmm.
With everyone?
Okay, cool.
I took a photo.
We have done so many podcasts.
We fuck it up.
Someone's not fucking talking.
Oh, we've had that.
I'm not laughing at you.
I'm laughing at the fact that there's always somebody that's trying to keep everything together.
And I'm like, that's great.
Thank you.
You're that guy.
Perfect.
It's never Cody. He's never that No, I just haven't really like a week
That guy's fucking ridiculous
That's harder to rhyme but he's a really nice guy Welcome to Unsubscribe
Hey guys, thanks for watching
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Yeah.
Five stars on everything.
And a comment if there is possible, because we need to be at the top.
Donut, say something motivating.
And that's where the, that is. something motivating. That's where the...
Come subscribe.
Respecting women.
Come high.
Come high.
And respecting women.
Cheers.
How do you guys get this podcast started?
Alcoholism.
We gotta do this.
I already double cracked both of mine.
I've been drinking my noise.
It's okay.
We're getting ready.
Just make the sound.
Just make the sound.
And that's how we sync our mics.
My God.
Nice.
We would drink a copious amount of manmosas at our favorite brunch place.
And then we were like, we should just do this at my house.
And we used to set our three cell phones up to record.
Sounds like every other man's podcast
brought to you by manscaped so
okay we got sponsors literally two weeks ago. Hey, promo code bottom.
Thank you.
You're just on here promoting on your own.
By the way, bottom of the barrel, promo code
right here, buddy.
You had four ad reads to do by the end of the month.
Just hop on this podcast clip.
They just brought us on to read their own ad reads.
Genius.
That's how we got them. We told them
we're not going to get a lot of views but we can get on some
podcasts
I'm really good at reading a prompter
so good at fucking convincing my audience
to buy shit
you guys read a prompter we do this
shut the fuck up
you can't read it
hi everyone unsubscribe podcast
here today I'm joined by Eli Double Tap
Chris Ramsey, Wes Barker, and Batty Streams.
They're awesome people, and I love them.
Fuck yeah.
We said to get that out of the way.
The elephant in the room. Cody, your hair.
Oh, I'm not using it anymore.
That's the elephant in the room right now.
It isn't for us.
This is the only Cody we've ever known.
It's definitely
going to be with a new studio, a new set, lighting've ever known. It's definitely nothing to do with a new studio,
a new set, lighting, a table.
It's crazy.
No, this is also the only studio I've ever seen as well.
So all of this is very normal.
You guys walked in and you're like,
man, the studio looks way bigger.
Yeah, 100%.
We saw it.
We're like, damn.
Because we get that a lot too
when people come into the office
and they're like,
well, this looks a lot different than on camera.
And we had the same thought,
except it was valid.
Cause it's not the same.
Everything happened in reverse.
So we got here,
you let us in remotely.
So we were in here before you were here.
And then you two came in and then we saw your hair.
So everything's happening in back.
We were in like 10 minutes before you guys just like talking shit about this
lighting setup that you got.
Don't point it out.
Nobody can see it.
They can't see the line.
Fantastic hidden wires.
Fan being the key word.
We did enjoy the sushi chef you had over there.
That was cool.
Thank you.
Yeah, and the chocolate fountain.
The fridge on top of a cardboard box.
I was still the sushi chef.
That was amazing.
So many giant bobblehead boxes just laying around, and they're all sitting in the background.
Now, this background, by the way, I got to say, guys, looks pretty good.
This is really, really nice.
Wes mentioned earlier the purple and blue light, for some reason,
screams like nerd.
Yeah.
I just like that.
It screams Blade Runner.
It screams Blade Runner.
It does.
Oh, yeah.
No, it screams like Twitch, like fucking gamer.
You guys nailed the vibe.
Really love it.
Can we get your loud voice out?
Screams bag it.
Perfect.
That was weird.
Why did you get the three candles up in front of the fucking Star Wars?
They were there already.
You had them there.
Yeah, I thought you would take them down.
You're like, you're like, you know what's going to go good with the Star Wars decor?
Three candles.
Those were there.
Yeah, because there was nothing.
You put them there.
I got a question for you guys.
What's your retention?
Oh, usually one minute.
They're gone.
They're gone?
They're gone by now.
34 minutes.
Is it 34?
All right.
So we got 34 minutes to plug our own podcast is what it's like.
It's just heavy.
And it's like, guys, have you ever checked out?
Bottom of the barrel.
Okay.
So can I?
Do you mind?
Go for it.
We've had one or two dreams.
No, seriously.
Shut the fuck up.
It's over.
Braddy, can you mute everyone's mic butt kisses right now?
All right, listen, guys.
I'm going to be, I'm going to fucking shoot it right down this middle barrel here, right
on the wide.
Wes and I have been working on a podcast for the past two years.
It's called Bottom of the Barrel.
Did you fucking mute?
You son of a bitch.
Oh, shit.
That was great.
That was great. That was great.
I was like, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah.
The entire time he starts talking.
There's some slurs in there.
Well, see you never, man.
Almost had him.
Almost had him, Chris.
Bottom of the barrel.
Yeah, he got it in there.
Bottom of the barrel podcast.
Wes Barker.
Fooled Penn and Teller, by the way.
And that's about it, right? Is that all you got? What is your claim to fame? That's one of them. I want to hear about Penn & Teller, by the way. And that's about it.
What is your claim to fame? That's one of them.
I want to hear about Penn & Teller. You did
Full Penn & Teller. Twice? Yeah, well, they were
looking. Not twice, though?
Not twice. Only once.
What was the guy that did it twice?
Tell me about that guy. Don? Sean?
I don't want to hear about you.
He's old, and
he's done it a long time, and he's old. I don't know what to tell you. He's old and he's done it a long time.
And he's old.
I don't know what else to tell you.
Wes actually was hilarious that his trick that he did to fool Penn and Telly.
You guys can check out.
It was my trick.
The trick that he used was actually super simple.
And they were fucking angry.
Penn was legit pissed off at you
didn't because it was like the simplest method i thought it was a method published in 1926
that's so old these are fucking weird yeah we're dead i don't like that shit yeah i don't know
a thing about 1926 i was like yes i don't know what was going on then i don't even know
i hit on some historical things.
2016.
I know.
That's great in the 20s, man. Are you kidding me?
Oh, yeah.
Not for my people, but you white people.
Yeah.
Dude, for white people, life's been great for a long time.
Ever?
Ever.
Yeah.
Except 2040.
That gets a little dicey.
Yeah.
In 2040.
I don't know if you guys know.
We're enjoying the ride right now because after that it's all fucking downhill.
We deserve it.
I thought,
Batty, you fucked up the audio. God damn it.
I know. I trust you this time.
I believe it.
Why do you prefer Mini Mullet?
Who?
Yeah, why not the full one?
This is a good question.
I like this.
You guys just take control.
So I grew up in Alabama.
Now said,
no,
my cousin loves this.
My uncle really liked it. We're not going to sit in the car. He says he's going to grab one too.
We call this the fuck handle, boy.
I'm just kidding.
I enjoy it.
I like grabbing my bullet too.
It's fun.
You just grab your uncle's as well.
It's just like.
Dude, this is.
Okay.
So this is the first time we've ever had five people which completely different than our
normal cadence we usually we've done four it's three all the time and then four bring brandon
a lot in who and now we have yeah these beauties chris is assistant that's right yeah
my co-host on bottom of the barrel podcast
you know i started a podcast and somehow he's like taking it over as if it's his and i'm the extra guy it was mine yeah i brought
him in was it start a wiki and make sure you started the podcast that's what i'm saying
i started the podcast there it is he gave it to me i was like it's dying
it was on life support when you were here. It wasn't. I was cruising. I was cruising the numbers.
I did.
It was me and my mom.
He saved it.
We were good.
Thank you.
He's like, buddy, give me a coattail to hang on.
And you wrote that coattail, and I'm proud of you.
I couldn't.
I was going too fast.
I had to let go.
I had to circle back and grab the coattails again.
I'm on my second coattail grab.
First time was our TV show.
I lost it.
Where does that expression come from, by the way?
Who's ever been literally holding on to someone's coattails and being like,
Never.
That was colors and shit when you were walking in, right?
Never ask where a say comes from because it's always racist.
Shit!
It's never going to be good.
Fuck after this.
No, you already knew.
The coattails on the white robes with the, uh, hats and stuff.
Yeah, yeah.
Something about wizards.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I like D&D.
Not the wizards!
Not the wizards!
Yeah.
Yeah.
I love ghosts.
I love the orcs.
That wasn't a ghost costume, was it?
No.
Boo!
It was.
I've pashed down this ghost costume for four generations
Why are we wearing those costumes in March daddy? Can we make our first ghost costume merch cost
Send us $20 like cut eye holes in your own We just like just said people just buy a pillowcase. How uncreative is the Ku Klux Klan? You could have done so many things it off spell clan, right?
Yeah, all right was there a tryout is everyone for real yeah, okay. All right won't talk about it
How easy is it to burn crosses, to be honest?
Make it one of something stronger.
Burn a lower... What is that, lowercase t for time to get out?
Burn a lowercase t to time to get out.
We'll wear ghost costumes and scare people.
Oh, my God. It's time to get out. We'll wear ghost costumes and scare them.
Love that episode of Southwark. Oh my god.
Batty's more like, oh this episode's one of those.
I can't wait to get cancelled on Twitch finally.
Cancelled for what?
Making fun of the Ku Klux Klan? Fuck those guys.
I agree.
This guy's worried about making fun of Ku Klux Klan.
He's like, no dude, the Klan's gonna cancel us. You don't know my audience. We get canceled from the Clip Coats.
Hey, clan.
I'm subscribed.
Hey, clan.
Hey, clan. Not the subscribed, all right? Hey, clan?
Oh my God.
Hey, clan?
Hey, you clan out there.
Not the Wu-Tang Clan.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh man.
Oh no.
Who do you think the most famous person
that secretly watches your guys' shit is?
There's so many out there that are like,
good question.
Elon Musk, we already discussed that.
Oh yeah, is you?
You think?
We just want Big H also.
You think or you hope?
We know.
You know?
You know.
Dude, obviously. Holy shit. Did you see who tweeted on John Mc you know obviously account yesterday so okay cody was the last person john mcafee ever talked to before he was
assassinated yeah that's what i said assassinated yeah he did text his wife's account now who is
his wife she's like i feel like it's really important to talk about
all the sketchy shit that happened when i was with my husband and i need to point out today
i was followed around all day by a bunch of creepy men what's also the same guy on his on his account
yeah but what was she wearing maybe she invited him we intro this with respect women and you're like,
but what would she wear?
It was her fault at the end of the day.
Holy shit.
Come on.
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Chris, are you trying to retire?
I'm trying to get views on Bottom of the Barrel Podcast.
Listen, if you're looking to cancel us, we said some way worse shit on our podcast. You should really go down the rabbit hole trying to find a clue.
It's trying to knock out the other.
Watch like 40 other 50 episodes.
You'll find something.
The first 20 are wild.
We never met.
Okay, we'll start. Before we get into
the puzzles.
Wait, I don't want to talk about puzzles.
Me neither.
Until pretty long, I didn't know you
were a magician until I texted you. I was like,
bro, you need to
check out this puzzle guy.
I know who you are.
And then Freddie was like, Chris is one
of the greatest magicians. I was like, I think you're
thinking of the wrong individual.
I don't think he does magic.
I like magic shit.
That Penn & Teller guy doesn't talk, right?
Well, he's one dude, right? Penn & Teller's one.
Mr. Penn Teller.
Mr. Penn Teller.
So we have a
segment first and foremost is
do we, yeah, the
superpowers. You
guys get to assign yourself a
special power, super power to
be part of the offenders.
The offenders.
We've managed to
become part of the offenders already.
No, not yet.
No.
So how this works is Cody, can you explain your superpower?
Okay, so I can fly, but I have to shout racial slurs.
So to save minorities and low-income areas.
It's a catch-22.
It's like a section 8 tower.
I had to fly in and save him.
He's taking the stairs.
I don't know what you mean.
Tower 7?
Just walking up the stairs
all angrily.
Batty comes
if he picks up anything heavy.
I have extreme strength, but when I
use any form of that strength, I just come uncontrollably
There's a fire
Our friend Eli here, the brown streak.
Super speed, but he shits himself uncontrollably.
The entire time.
That's the best one.
What if you run out of shit, though?
No, he doesn't.
Oh, you don't?
No.
Wow.
He's Mexican, dude.
He eats some crazy shit.
That's how that works.
He eats a lot of shit.
He's got a lot of fuel.
Okay.
All right.
Cut.
Fluck.
Punch in.
What happens if you run out of shit?
Then punch in on Chris and be like, he can't, he's Mexican.
Chris Ramsey.
Whole frame, nice music.
We're just going to get you canceled all the time.
We're going to talk about the sponsor.
We're all set.
Bottom of the barrel.
That's what pops up.
Oh, my God.
I'm going to lose some.
You're going to gain a lot, unfortunately.
They're not good.
These are ones you don't want.
Fuck our audience.
You've been telling them not to subscribe, and they haven't done it.
You're doing good.
You've been telling them since day one.
They can't wait.
That's our guy, then.
What's your superpowers?
It's so crazy.
If you've got to be a superpower.
It's through to you first. You don't have to pick the downside, by the way. We got that. What's your superpowerpowers? I'm so crazy. Is it through to you first?
You don't have to pick the downside by the way.
What's your superpower?
Oh, okay, we pick the upside and we talk about the downside?
Talk about it, that's it.
Alright, well I wouldn't be able to teleport.
I'm a teleport guy.
We've had that before.
So you're gonna have to choose a new one.
I can do a new one.
Okay, it's pressure's on.
All right.
Well, then I get it taken.
Oh.
X-ray.
I got X-ray vision.
Oh, see?
New one.
See, Chris is way better than us.
I got X-ray vision, but it only works on children.
Wow.
Okay.
You have already.
You're like, I got this. I can see through shit. already All we keep close and what are we doing? Well talking about the thing we want, right?
Okay guys, what's my dad?
What's the downside
The downside is you shit yourself What's the downside? What's the downside, though? Oh, wait, wait, wait.
They cry. Oh, no, no.
You're only helping. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, guys.
I'm so hard.
What is this?
X-ray vision! Okay, hold on!
One step at a time. X-ray vision.
Oh, fuck this.
That's mine. If you use your power if you're not a you're a super pedo no that's all you are you're a super i'm groomer man
you're not saying i only can see through kids stuff. What superhero are you well? I mean hey if there's like a school shooting like they're gonna call me
No, not now
Cuz I'm gonna go in there and be like hey look at all these kids
You're literally a machine at TSA. That's all you are.
Is that what they're doing?
I knew they were shady.
They can see your deal.
So I'll do they shouldn't be.
Can I get laser eyes?
Yes.
I could be a homelander
laser eyes guy.
Your laser eyes
like how
much damage they do is like so minimal
it's like you could like try to
zap a tattoo but you like sunburn you like
sunburns this is a long
we have to do
you can you could maybe give a sunburn
no laser it's annoying
wait yeah laser eyes
but only when
you're talking to someone
who you're not you're talking to someone who you're not
interested in talking to.
So like they're talking to you
anytime.
You start laser eyeing them.
Yeah, you kill them instantly.
I can only laser eye people that I like.
That's not any better. That sounds worse.
You guys are the worst super... You are our
first super villains that just
fucking see children and kill people.
I don't want to! These are super villains!
I don't want it! Hey! Don't put me in that category!
I don't wanna see these children! It's a gift and a curse!
Okay, so now we have the offenders. What is the villain group led by Chris and Wes here?
Fucking call them fucking-
The offenders!
The Cyclops and Pedoman.
Genomes of pesters fighting. Listen. The offenders! The Cyclops and Pedoman I'm so pissed off
Listen
I'm not naked
Yes you are. Chris just threw your clothes and I'll burn them off
Yeah dude there's someone out there watching this being like I wish that was my power
Guaranteed there's a guy watching
If that's you
Fuck you what are you doing with yourself
Bottom of the barrel Come on man Watching Yeah
I don't know you said you many people already picked a good superpowers
You can kill everyone like
Always goes in fucking blows already minutes a day. You have no control over that shit, and you don't
You're blind control over that shit, and you don't know you're blind
No, that's what you don't you're blind. You don't know what you're lasering. Oh my god
That's so much better than just aiming him around
and then you're blind but you have laser vision.
You're like, you're like, uh, what's his name?
Daredevil and Cyclops at the same time.
Yes!
You literally need a sidekick. Chris is your sidekick.
No, I think she's a-
There you go!
I can see.
This is my hair thing.
Let me see these two figures real quick.
This is gonna be a side-gu guys. I'll save the day
The school he's That was a school. He's like, I know.
You're good.
Keep it over. Keep it over four feet. Midget criminals are running rampant.
I can't stop.
He's like, I can't make it in ZOWN!
Fuck, that's great.
Doesn't they all sound like that when they write?
I think so. I only met Peter Dinklage and he was definitely, AHHHHH!
Does he sound like that when he writes?
No, no, I'm sorry, I was like, hey Peter, AHHHHH!
They're all balling it though.
Yeah, anyways.
They are. Bottom of the barrel.
They are.
I'm amazed you guys are the least PC people we've had on probably.
What do you mean PC?
What are you talking about?
We're talking about things that they're thinking about right now.
Yeah, it's funny stuff.
You sick fucks.
Oh my God.
As if Peter Dinklage doesn't know he's short, you fucking piece of shit.
You think he thinks he's tall?
You're fucking Peter shit.
He's just finding out now.
What?
He's just listening to this episode.
He's like, what?
Everybody's like, fourth screen.
He's like, my neck's been like this for years. He's like, I've been cast as a Christmas I want Peter Dinklage on the podcast next
I always love Peter Dinklage
on the bottom of the barrel
on this one
sweet love to Peter Bigelow.
That's just what I'm saying.
I'm going to fuck him.
Yeah, yeah.
He's a good-looking little guy.
He's a good-looking little person.
He's one of those children that no one hates.
There are some little people who are like, you know, they all kind of, you know.
And he's like a good-looking little person.
Oh, he's a good-looking little person.
He's a good-looking little person.
Okay.
We found the opposite of that, what Cody did. Oh, man. Is that a weird person? Is that what you're saying? No, it was a weird looking little person. We found the opposite of that. Well, Cody did.
Oh, man.
Is that what we're saying?
No.
Holy shit.
Your superpower to loved it.
He looks like a child?
She.
No.
I went to a porn convention and there's this chick named Tiny Texi.
It's Tiny Texi, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sure.
But she's not stumpy like midgets.
She's proportionate, but she's still this tall.
Wow.
And she does, I think she does porn, but she definitely strips.
Is she nine?
He looks, yeah.
That's the problem.
She looks weird.
That's the problem.
Her voice isn't that.
Her voice is like a nine year old.
It's weird.
Like he thought a little kid was at the convention.
Wait, she does porn?
I don't know.
She's at least a stripper.
Bare minimum a stripper.
What's her name?
Tiny Texas?
Are your powers active?
I'm going to find out.
Tiny Texas.
I can't wait for this reaction because it is...
I'm not going to look. no. I've already loved it. Yes the one on the right like
Now really awesome here zoom in real quick mm-hmm I get it.
No, I get it.
Yeah, I'll sub.
I get it.
And with my superpowers, I can clearly see through her clothes.
Which is amazing.
You have to burn your phone now before you go back to Canada.
You're not going to be allowed back with that.
No, they allow that, but let criminals go. Canada is pretty slack.
Every bit of freedom of speech, though. Yeah, but this and a gun? I'm not. Yeah. What about freedom of speech though?
Yeah, but this and a gun?
I'm not kidding.
Exactly.
You take a picture of a gun,
you better watch out.
Totally cool.
Guns, no go.
Yeah.
That's the title of this episode.
Brownface is also our leader.
Brownface is also.
If we do blackface or brownface,
that's no problem.
But yeah, guns are, We don't talk about those.
Yeah.
We don't talk about the gun things.
Let's not start now.
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Did you know that Trudeau was actually, like, he didn't just brownface once?
He's like a repeat offender.
Okay, brown face.
Are we talking like Eli?
No, no.
Yeah.
He went full.
He went like Sri Lankan.
Oh, yeah.
Like shark.
Yep.
And like turban.
But he also went like brown arms, brown legs.
He didn't stop on the face, right?
But he's a cosplayer.
Yeah, cosplaying. He was my face right but then he did it
every year so they confronted like what was this he's like I was drunk I was at
a party he's like whatever this one he's like short-circuit that was the same
era they had a real white actor
doing brown costume
face
everything
for that movie
so
I forgot about that
he's doing the same time
so I'm like
I'm not gonna
yeah the guy's white as fuck
they did that show
so short circuit guy
was white
and he's like
Johnny 5
I'm alive
90 whatever
and Trudeau's out there
being like
I'm also gonna play Aladdin
in his Halloween costume
I don't want to defend the guy but like
it wasn't everyone was doing it
I'm just saying like
I got a couple pictures too
Johnny Five Alive dude
you're going to love our audience
but seriously like I feel like Trudeau could have not brown-faced,
wore the turban, and still looked like Aladdin.
Yeah, but you go to Brown Town, and you're much more convincing.
Right?
But the turban.
When you go to Brown Town, it usually.
Is that the kind?
I understand.
I get it.
Eating ass is cool now.
It's 2022.
That's what I'm saying.
That's a very down Brown town.
Sounds like a children's show.
Come on down Brown town.
No, it doesn't.
It does not.
Oh my God.
You are not joking.
He straight went fucking Brown.
That's not him.
Oh wait.
That's not Trudeau.
That's the actor from Short Story.
He's like his actual Brown actor. I'm like, that is not Justin Trudeau. That's the actor from Short Sleeve.
I'm like, that is not Justin Trudeau. Yeah.
Yeah.
That guy is.
What?
But I don't know the movie Short Sleeve.
How do you guys say that apart?
But he also looked apart, though.
Indian?
Yeah.
What are they called?
They're called South Asian at home.
Because we don't know if they're Indian 100%.
They might not be from India.
Wait, what do you call them?
South Asian. South Asian? Yeah. I was being PC from India. Wait, what do you call them? South Asian.
South Asian? Yeah. I was being PC.
Yeah, that's what you would call them. Really?
Alright, bottom of the barrel podcast.
Yeah.
If you want to learn all the real
terms. South Asian.
Bottom of the barrel. Salvation.
No.
The salvation one.
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
I'm sorry.
Cody, I just decided on a mini mullet.
Man, holy shit.
You guys want to see a magic trick?
Yes.
Baddie, mute it.
We just ruined magic.
Hey, if you're listening to our podcast today,
fuck you.
You want to hear something?
I'll describe exactly what
Chris is doing. Which is the one?
Do that. I'll do it right now.
You're going to make a bottle of this beer in your ass?
Oh yeah. Don't give it away.
Don't give it away.
You shit three out.
You actually are going to make a bottle.
Give me the close up on the bottle.
Take a bottle. I go with a
Corona bottle. I put it in a bag. He's puttingup on the bottle. Take a bottle. I go with a Corona bottle.
I put it in a bag.
Yep.
He's putting an empty Corona bottle.
Lean closer to Batty so you get that nice.
Come over this way.
Move this way.
There you go.
Oh.
This side.
Okay.
Yep.
I take a Corona bottle.
Yep, Corona bottle.
And I put it in a paper bag.
In a shit bag.
And then I do the move.
That's the move. Right right and then you flick it
and then you turn it over
vanish
it's gone we'll never see it again
I'll bring it back
oh yes
can I try that one
alright
I can do it
I refill the bottle refill the the bottle, refill the bottle, refill the bottle
I feel cheap because I looked at the bag earlier
Nope, here we go
Is that a full crumb?
Is that a full crumb bottle now? Okay
Okay, they don't fucking care, watch
I'm explaining to them!
You don't have to, we're idiots
Alright, fuck it, fuck it, fuck it, fuck it
I'm upset
Wait, Patty, what the fuck? Patty, what? I'm upset nothing to see motherfucker the bag that we did it bought this or that table here this is great table that is
like what oh yes daddy I'm a good
position yeah fucking weirdo who looks
stupid now baby yeah yeah fucking goon
bad is this in the next hour feel bad
for the stable right right right right
the table Eli huh can I bore that mug
over there you see that mug the there? You see that mug?
The postcard.
Which mug?
The mug that said the beer mug.
I was like, I knew what was happening.
I see that bag.
Hey, buddy.
Yo, I don't want to touch you.
Yeah.
Let me do it with your dick.
It's in your ass.
Hey, Wes.
Wes.
Check this out.
Oh, here.
Okay.
Can I use this?
This is fine?
If you're listening to this episode, fuck you.
You need to wash this.
We got a beer mug here.
Did you guys bring that?
Hold this, hold this like this.
No, like hold the handle.
Everyone, what the fuck's going on right now?
This is...
All right, you got a beer mug.
I'm gonna give you something to listen to
if you're listening to only on audio,
I'm gonna give you guys something to listen to, okay?
All right.
So...
Where's the bottle? I'll get it, I got you. Where's the bottle? So we got a mug here, you guys see that listen to okay all right so i'll get it i got you so we got a mug here you
guys see that on the line yeah see that on the line yep or on the center you fucking go is that
a real mug is that a real mug is that how you test real mugs you want to hand it over make sure
it's no i don't want to touch it it's your mug it's not my mug want to drink out of it okay it's real. No, I don't want to touch it. It's your mug. It's not my mug. I want to drink out of it.
Okay, it's real.
I picked it up so I can verify that is a very real mug.
Hold it up a bit.
I want you guys to... What's like a magic word we can invent right now?
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
Cody's going to start flying away.
Cody's like...
Cody, don't say the N word.
Benjamin!
A magic word. We'll make
merch out of it, guys. We'll make merch out of
the magic word that they're going to say.
What's the name? What's the magic word?
Is it...
Sploogican.
Sploogican.
Can you say Sploogican on three?
One, two, three.
Sploogican. Can you say splooge again on three? One, two, three. Splooge.
Oh my god.
I don't know.
What the fuck?
You demon.
He's a demon.
Why are you a demon?
What the fuck? Yeah, broken glass.
Where did the sunglasses come from?
The more confused it does
here I'll throw a glass you be careful don't cut yourself
man this should have been probably the last trick
Chris said earlier
he's like I'll do this at the end
that's the earlier time you said
you didn't care about the table
yeah you started breaking shit on the table
alright at least oh there's a piece down there Table yeah, you started breaking show the table all right
Why are you picking up the glass with your teeth? I was inside and I needed to cut my hands. Where did the other corona bottle come from? Oh fuck, what a life, what a life boys.
Imagine if we do this for a living.
Give me this part right here.
Yeah the funniest thing is so like, okay there's a magic trick where-
It's sharp!
There's a magic trick where we all-
It's real!
We eat light bulbs, right? All of us? We're not gonna do it here, but like the fucking thing with the light bulb is
Where did this come from did you bring this cup? No?
Yes
Here in your house
Let's get me for now. I'm not ready for this I wasn't ready for this
It's just a the size the cut is where the location right so if it hits your name other than that you're fine
Buddy it's
He thought there was gonna be beer that's just gonna be the mug that's actually really interesting. It means he's an alcoholic What the fuck? Did we just murder him here? Yes, because you fucked up a matter of choice. Okay, the bottle disappeared
and you broke the mug.
Where'd the bottle go?
See, Chris, someone
on this side of the table likes my trick better.
No, fuck, your trick sucked, his was better.
But where did the bottle go?
That doesn't mean I have a mug.
He shattered a cup with his mind.
Where's the butt? I finished it with my brain. That doesn't mean I'll be like, he shattered a cup with his mind!
Where's the butt? I finished it with my brain!
What did you say before he started the trick?
You're going to make a bottle disappear.
Yeah!
And appear in your ass.
So tonight when you go to sleep,
when you go to sleep,
you wake up and you'll go,
and you'll go,
is there a pump in my ass?
If we get that text,
they'll be like,
two-way hand.
Guys!
Check your butt.
Yeah, but he's like,
what the fuck, dude?
It's a bottle of Doss's skis.
What the fuck, dude?
It's not even Corona.
Why is there a Corona in my ass?
Dude, they got us two bottles of Shibuya.
One was a surprise.
No joke, no joke.
I'm doing a...
It's sealed. What the fuck? I was doing a gig at some fancy corporate thing.
I'm walking around doing card tricks and I do a card trick for this couple.
Right.
This guy's wife picks a card.
I do a fancy trick.
I pull out the card all cocky.
I'm like, that's your card.
She's like, that's not my card.
And I'm like, oh.
And I'm like, we'll put it under your pillow and tomorrow it'll be your card
and she'd leave I grab her husband
find her actual card handed it to him
I said you know what to do
so at night she I guess she did
next day I wake up to a fucking email
this fucking law
my wife's freaking out right now she thinks someone broke into her house
she's like
someone broke into her house violated her while she was sleeping and into her house, violated her, and wants you to sleep.
And he's like, you said I know what to do, and I don't think I really understood.
We were miscommunicating.
I put the card in her pussy, was that right?
I went into the pillow, and he's like, you said it in her pussy.
It was a lot.
Those words are easily confusing.
Yeah, so either way, I have a poor date.
He's like, I put the pillow over her face, just like I said.
The card was nowhere near her face. There are very few things that you can be certain of in life.
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Different is calling. No, there was- I- I- Motherfucker, I looked in that brown bag when I was sent- Well that should teach you a lesson. There was two bottles!
Now there's one!
And it- I don't know where-
You batty the shit.
I'm one step ahead of you, Batty.
I'm one step ahead.
Go look at the batty.
Alright.
This podcast is fine.
Hey, Batty, you can't go look at a two bottle snake by sticking your head in a bull's ass.
Hey, Batty, don't do it!
Don't do it.
Don't do it.
Wait, did you ruin the night? You're both sick by sticking your head in a bull's ass. Don't do it. Don't do it.
Wait, did you ruin the magic?
Or you can take the butcher's word for it.
Magic is dead.
I know, bad is not.
Don't do it, Maddie.
Don't do it.
Oh, you like magic, Maddie.
Don't do it.
Maddie, are you going to go commit Ryan Reynolds? gonna go commit Ryan podcast I've ever done in my life
This is so great
Danny do push-ups You're gonna do this for the rest of your life. What the fuck? What the fuck, dude?
How did you set this up?
I feel like it's unfair that we did one for Baddie and one for Cody, but none for Eli.
So I'm gonna do one for Eli here.
Do one for Eli.
Eli.
Oh, give him the Eli trick.
Oh yeah.
There's an Eli trick!
Yeah, there's an Eli trick.
Eli, hold your hands up like this.
He just writes Beaner on my head.
Hold your permanent marker. Hold your your permanent marker There's my magic trick
You fucking beater
I like that trick
Are you left handed or right handed
Right
Close both your hands
And drop one of your hands
Alright perfect
Point your finger out like this.
All right.
Where'd you get a fucking marker?
Check this out.
Is that the magic trick?
Check this out.
What does that look like?
It's an X.
Yeah.
See that?
It's a T.
X.
Next.
It's actually a cross.
We're gonna burn it.
Time to get out.
Check it out.
All right, watch.
It's an X, watch, ready?
All bags.
Ready, watch. Do this X. What? Watch, watch. Time to get out Ready watch
Do sex what watch watch watch watch this is rubbing sand no wait
Rushing
Open your hand didn't touch them down there I don't feel good. I don't feel good. No, lick it. It's real. I'm ascending Jimmy
I don't feel good
I'm not ready for this
You Damon
What the fuck is this shit, but you know bottom of the God. It must be really hard to get laid as you guys
When you were single Watch what happens when I come. Check your back pocket. She's like, oh my God, I'm serious. Look at my back pocket.
Just a pocket.
That sums it up.
I don't feel good.
I don't feel good.
I'm a throw up.
I'll show you a magic trick later.
I legit.
All right, Cody.
I legit learned magic to meet chicks when I was like 19.
And then I'd go to the bar. I do a card chick
I'd be like hey ten seconds later. The girls are gone. I'm surrounded by 30 dudes be like you must get so much pussy So it's with the other boys by the party like every inch of fucking pussy. That's all it is
next trick everybody take your dick out
Everyone surround me now jerk off
All right, take one take it out
Okay, you got it?
Can I look at it?
Yeah, of course you can look at it.
I don't want to look at it.
Did you force this card into my hand?
No, of course not.
Spades.
Spades.
Wrong.
Of course I don't know that it's the Jack of Hearts, but it's fine.
Wait, is it?
Jack of Hearts.
But it's fine.
How the fuck did you pick that?
You fucking weirdo.
Just to make sure that it's the only Jack of Hearts in the world. What the fuck? It's funny. How the fuck did you pick that? You fucking weirdo. But just to make sure that it's the only jack of hearts in the world.
What the fuck?
Like, it's fine.
It's the jack of hearts.
Write your name on it.
I don't want it.
Write your name on it.
Just so.
No, but like.
I don't trust him.
Go away, demon.
Batty, so we know that that's the only jack of hearts like that in the entire world if
you write your name on it, yes?
Yeah.
Okay, write your name.
Okay.
Big, big, so we can all see it big big big scribble on it make it make it scribble i scribble is that yeah nobody's gonna see it but it's there yeah okay here's your demon marker
thank you i'll put this back in the deck baddie don't your hand out like no and put your come
here closer come closer and put your other hand here closer. I don't want to.
And put your other hand on top of it.
Cover it up.
I'm going to reach in there and find your card.
Why does that top card feel fucky?
Did you cheat?
No, look.
This is magic.
Look.
That's not your card, is it?
That's not your card?
Why does it say that?
Why does it say that?
It's not your card.
Okay, fine.
I fucked up.
I messed up. But here. Close your hands. Close your hands. Close your card. Okay fine, I fucked up. I messed up.
But here, close your hands, close your hands, close your hands.
Okay, don't move.
Okay, I got it. But don't move.
I did mess up a little bit. So I'm gonna redeem myself.
What if I see this card disappear right now? Would that be cool?
Yeah, one, two, three. Gone?
Okay, no, it's not really gone.
But what if I made the entire deck you're holding on to right now completely fucking vanish oh wait what bad the crony can't find oh my god oh we have a quick sponsor I
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And I was just joking but if you do come on these it flakes right off you know hours You just scratch it right off. I'm not joking UK flakes off. It's like
But you get like scratch it on a dent like this and then you'll just see a flake
I thought personally was a trap catching goes to fuck it
Have you ever wanted to fuck it goes yeah well
I'm gonna catch these fucking go yeah
Real just a bunch of guy in clan hoods coming in
You been setting me up for this why? I've been baiting you since the moment I met you.
I hate magicians.
Oh, bro.
I have an eyeball.
Remember how many conversations we had in your car?
Chug that.
Chug it.
I couldn't possibly shake it.
Did you try to do tornado and fail?
No, he did.
That worked.
That worked. I'm going to chug Corona. I'm going to try something. You got an fail? No, he did. That worked. That worked.
I'm not a chugger, Corona.
I'm a chugger.
You got an iPhone?
No, hang on.
I'm not done with this motherfucker, Chris.
Okay, hold on.
I'm not done with this motherfucker.
No, because he asked me.
He said,
What did you just have a pack of cards in your pocket? Everybody has a pack of cards in everybody's pocket.
Come in your pockets.
Okay.
Because I asked you so many questions.
Do I have packs of cards?
No, it's not a joke. I don't. It's in your ass. Okay. Because I actually... Packs for drawing out packs of cards? No, it's not a joke.
I don't...
It's in your ass.
It's a deck card.
It's a deck card.
But I'm going to make more predictions.
Because what you guys don't know is I drove with you for like half an hour today.
What did you do to me?
I'm sorry.
I drove...
You're sorry.
I went to your house.
Yeah, you were in my home.
But because I was doing all that, I would-
I did it for a magic.
For why I was with you.
That's why I jumped in your truck.
So I made a prediction on-
I'm very good at this.
I know what- I know what card you would say.
From now.
Okay?
Literally. Literally.
I know what card you would say.
Okay!
I gotta find it here.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where is it?
No, no, no. I'm gonna show you.
It's in my pocket! It's in my ass! Alright, here we go. Here we go. This is your card. This is your card. This is your card. Yeah, yeah, where is it?
This is your card this is your card this your card I'm gonna put it right here. Okay. I want you to a sleight of hand
Name your card name a card. I'll let any card be as random as you want name any card jack of hearts
He said that earlier you can say no I didn't I didn't say that earlier You didn't know I said the eight of clubs earlier Whatever you want to say, what do you finally want to say in final choice?
What does that mean I said I wanted to be the Jaguars remember the card then?
Never show it never show it
They deserve the best.
They deserve the best.
You just keep that in there.
Do all the, what are the, are they normal, what's else in the pack of cards?
They all say fuck you.
Do they all say fuck you?
Yeah, every single one.
What's a normal deck of cards?
With just a secret fuck you.
No, I don't have a fuck you card.
Here, pick one.
There's no fuck you card.
Pick any one you want.
Might as well there's no fuck you card.
Except for that one.
They're all normal cards.
I don't know why you pick a new fuck you card. I don't know why it's doesn't exist. I don't know why it's doesn't exist. I don't know why it's doesn't exist. I don't know why it doesn't exist.
What are you doing?
What are you doing that, Batty?
I don't even know about the forced bullshit.
Cause I have talked about it with Freddie.
How about if I throw it over there where you go look at it later?
No!
Batty, are you gonna touch that? It's gonna turn into Corona Bottle. Throw it over there. We go look at it later
Turn into Corona
Are you from bottom the barrel podcast I think I watched the Vodafone on the Barrel podcast. Yeah, it's a great fucking time. Fuck me, bed pillow, let's go to Vodafone on the Barrel. Yeah, dude. No, Ghost Bed time.
Yeah, dude.
We're not even sponsored by Ghost Bed on our podcast,
but we still cum in them.
For free.
We haven't even saved 30% of cum.
Eva has an iPhone!
I save 30% of cum every time I cum.
I'm really cum-off.
Who has an iPhone here?
You got an iPhone?
Yeah.
You got a passcode on it?
Yeah, I have an iPhone.
100% Elon.
Not me.
He's got a girlfriend, so he's got a passcode.
Yeah.
Is it four numbers or six?
Four.
Is it?
Do you know it?
No, I know it's six.
Is it six?
I thought it was four first.
Is it four?
Okay, close your phone.
Close your phone.
Do you know it by heart?
Yes.
Just to be sure,
make sure you know it by heart.
Some people say they do and they don't.
It's just a pattern recognition.
You know the numbers individually by heart.
Wipe the screen.
You told me you smell the phone to figure out the pattern.
Did you sniff him out?
He knows my butthole scent. All right. Open your calculator. You told me you smell the phone to figure out the pattern. Wait, did you sniff him out? Yeah.
He knows my butthole scent.
All right.
I thought only I could do it.
Open your calculator.
Open your calculator.
Don't show me the phone.
Hide this to yourself.
No cameras.
Open the calculator.
Calculator app.
You got it.
Clear the screen.
Clear, clear, clear.
You got it.
All right.
Put in a random six numbers.
Random six numbers. Six might be hard for me. It's a lot of numbers. It's a random six numbers. Random six numbers.
Six might be hard for me.
It's a lot of numbers.
It's a lot of numbers.
So many numbers.
Put in a random six numbers.
It's not your passcode.
It's not your passcode.
All right.
Hit plus.
All right.
I want you to put in the birth year of someone close to you.
Maybe not your girlfriend.
Maybe not your kid.
Someone completely random that I wouldn't know.
But put in their birth year.
All right.
Wait. Birth year? Yeah. birth year. Put that in.
That's four numbers, Eli.
That's four. I know.
I'm going to break it down for you, Eli.
Eli's still struggling.
Okay.
I got it. All right. Hit plus again.
Do you remember the address of the house you grew up in?
No one here would know that,
but do you remember the address of the house you grew up in? Yes one here would know that, but do you remember the address of the house you grew up in?
Yes. Put that number in.
The dirt floor?
Just put the address.
I don't know what he's talking about.
He's fucking insane.
I hit plus. You got it?
Now put in your passcode without showing anyone here
and then hit equals after that.
Put in your passcode and hit equals.
That's why I asked you.
Can I see that number this is not your passcode yeah
oops
okay this is not your passcode
that's the number he put in
that's 1,479,132
just in case anyone wants to hack you
that's 7 digits
it's impossible that that's your passcode.
However, Eli,
this might seem
like a random number, but it is
personal to you because if I had done
this with anyone else, it would be a different number.
You agree?
This is maybe a
personal number. We're going to clear screen here.
We choose passcodes
in life, Eli, for two reasons.
One, because we want to get into our phones quickly and two because it's a personal number to us now i'm not
going to guess your passcode entirely but i will get close to it is that is that okay
all right think of the first number in your only. I want you to scream it out loud.
Scream it in your mind.
You got it?
You piece of shit.
So it's eight.
Eight is the first one, right?
Eight.
Uh-huh.
And the second one is zero, yes?
Yeah.
Is there a two?
No, but there's a one, yes?
Yeah.
Eight, zero, one?
No.
But there is a one, yes? Yeah. 8-0-1? No. But there is a one.
There is no two?
8-0-1.
8-0.
I don't like that he got the first two really good.
I'm like, I don't like the Sturck anymore.
There's another one, though.
No, it's just 1-1.
There's just 1-1?
It's like, it's something 1-5. just one one. It's like it's something one five.
Yes.
Why do I have to change my number now?
I literally now have to change
my password.
Eight zero
one five.
Right. That's what we're dealing with now.
Uh huh.
You piece of shit.
What?
We'll leave it at that. I'll leave it there. Uh-huh You piece of shit Of course At least secure Eli. Where's the health? Leave it at Express. What the fuck? Can you do that too?
Yeah, of course.
Every magician can.
No, you can't.
Check your ass.
Use your own bottle.
There you go.
In the bag.
There's no way.
Your passcode's in the bag.
The bag is stumbling dirty.
There's no way.
There's no way to have that.
Chris has a style of magic I don't do.
Like he will know what car
I'll do something like this like
the mind shit I Cody
I
Want you to take I want you to take any card you like don't pick the one he wants he's gonna do it
What that one or you want to change it you can put it back if you want
You want that one have a look at it show it to everyone. Don't show me. Oh, no Cody. Oh, no
Yeah, I got it. Yeah, put it back in the deck no, Cody. Is this the same fuck you? Oh no. You got it?
Yeah, I got it.
Put it back in the deck.
Wait, did you show the camera?
You show the camera?
Show the camera.
Is that still the one?
Yeah.
All right, we're gonna shuffle this up.
How do the sound effects?
Shuffle, shuffle, shuffle, shuffle, shuffle, shuffle.
Okay, watch.
Bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep.
Here's what we're gonna do. What's that? It's shuffle, tones, shuffle, shuffle. Okay, watch. Bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep. Here's what we're going to do.
It's shuffle, tones, or bleeps. Do you believe in intuition?
Do you believe that we have intuition?
No, you're a wizard.
Okay, but intuition does exist.
A grand wizard.
A grand wizard.
You are a wizard.
I am a grand wizard.
Intuition does exist.
Where are the black people?
Intuition does exist, and it is a feeling.
It is something you feel deep inside.
It's something that you can't explain.
It's just something that happens that you're like a gut feeling.
Don't snap ever again.
Now, we need you to channel into that gut feeling for this trick to work.
Okay, now I've shuffled the deck, and I go, I'll shuffle it again.
It doesn't matter where your card is
because this has nothing to do with me.
It has nothing to do with sleight of hand,
but it has everything to do you and your intuition.
So what you're going to do is I'm nude.
It's Cody's dick.
I want you to hold the card.
Don't hold him.
He's lying.
I want you to deal the cards down one at a time.
From the top?
Yep.
Stop it. Stop it. And the top? Yep. Keep dealing.
Stop it.
Stop it.
And whenever, keep going, keep going.
And whenever you want to stop, Cody, whenever you want to stop, you just say stop.
Whenever you want.
I say stop and then I stop.
Yes, you stop whenever you want.
Now, do you want this card or this card, Cody?
This card.
Right here?
So we're going to leave that there.
Cody, you chose a card. I? We're going to leave that there. Cody,
you chose a card. I have
no idea what that card is.
Only they know and you guys
know what that card is. I'm so uncomfortable.
I just wanted you to solve puzzles. Cody, you
dealt the cards yourself. Yes.
For the first time, Cody,
what was
the card that you chose?
The Queen of Hearts. How fucking amazing would your intuition be if you stopped exactly What was the card that you chose?
The queen of hearts. How fucking amazing would your intuition be
if you stopped exactly at the queen of hearts?
Pretty good, huh?
Cody?
Yeah.
I don't want to touch the card.
I'm gonna have you do that.
What, holy fuck, bro.
Stop it.
What the fuck is this demon magic i don't that's fucking rad okay okay okay but like i hate it i'm so stupid don't how did don't put it back, what's going on in your pocket? Take a shot? Yeah?
fucking
magic
Already shot your report your report. I'm gonna report a port of order for me. There's already yep. I poured many okay, Cody Do you want one? Why did you?
What's in your pocket? What else you have in your pocket? Oh, we got a measure. I'll measure these no
But what else you have in your body? Oh, we got a measure. I'll measure these no, but what else you have in your body?
I don't trust you
expired plane ticket
You have any questions about managing these like yeah, fuck you
Yeah, no, how did you write that more than a shot? Yeah, I'll take it. I'll take that one. I'll do the double
as they say in Braveheart
Cheers, Cody thought the trick was so good. He had a knock one off real quick
Surprise you're doing really good magic today. Thank you
No, it's like your YouTube channel. It's usually not that good. It's usually, this is magic. This is magic. It's like my channel. It's usually, it's usually 95 takes and then it works.
But today somehow, by some
There's glass on his feet.
There's glass.
Legitimate glass on his feet.
How did you shatter the cup?
Did you put the shattered glass in his butt?
Yeah, normally, normally all that takes a hundred takes,
but today we just got lucky and everything worked out.
I don't believe you and that's the problem.
I don't know what to believe right now.
That's making it hard because I'm already kind of a fucking idiot.
I'm not a smart man. I know that.
Yeah, no one accused you of that.
No.
No one ever accused you of being a smart man.
That's how you're talking. No one's like, daddy's a smart man. That's not your crock.
No one's like, that is smart man.
Okay, can you fucking...
Yes.
Come back to yourself?
Yep.
First try.
First try?
I don't want to do it.
I can do one of these.
Oh, he's way better.
Okay, he's not as good.
Ready? Got it. Ready's not as good. Ready?
Ready for the lens? The middle one?
Right there. Right on the lens.
Make that card disappear.
You can't see it on camera.
It's stuck in the wall.
He killed four people.
He's a pedophile gambit.
He can see Kato's naked and throw a shotgun.
Hey, boys.
Cheers!
Un-subscribe.
This is one of the best podcasts I've ever been on in my life.
100%.
This is so much fun.
You guys are absolutely beauties.
I'm uncomfortable.
I love you guys.
Oh fuck!
You have to do it.
You guys are fucking legends.
Like and subscribe.
Whoa.
You're right on your sound mixer.
I'm sorry.
You got...
Pretty good, eh?
I didn't drink it.
It's not good.
Did you cum?
In the bathroom?
Yeah, dude.
After I showed you that trick?
It was pretty quick. I got it. the bathroom? Yeah, it's pretty quick
I got it like oh man. It was a queen of hearts. He did
The entire time he had to just go he's ever do a live event anything
Hopefully doing one soon.
You ever get that feeling of being on stage though
and like performing like,
magic tricks are obviously an outlier experience,
but like performing something's a weird thing
where you're like, it needs to happen.
You ever have that at all?
And even individually, you ever like,
we were so out there, we were like,
mm, this gotta go well.
Why do you have two empty packs of cards?
I don't even follow that.
I can't stop
watching
twitch is like the most live experience I think
all right that's very live though yeah
we do that
big twitch streamer also fucking
like what the guys do it's
and then we do the big events
it's always like hey we have oh
hold on can I can I
oh you are twitch gone you have a fucking yeah no which one are you on It's always like oh
Whether you're at which God or is that the bars around which condoms in Diego I myself from 2 3.30 will have an actual meet and greet event
in San Diego.
At TwitchCon.
There's not a lot of those going on right now.
So if you want to get in line
and wait for me to sign your titties,
I'll do it.
Or penis.
I'll sign a dick.
Maybe not a tit, but I'll sign a shaft.
I'll sign an upper shaft once.
Batting up the shaft looks good. The guy was asleep and he didn't know Maybe not a tip but also
The shaft good bottom chat sleep and he knows there, but I signed it
See if your mouth can fit in my mouth. Can you dethrone that?
No, I don't think so.
Have you seen this magic trick?
I don't think so.
Oh, you don't even know.
I forgot you don't know anything about me.
Chris, no.
This is what I'm known for.
Check me out on OF!
100%
I'm known for swallowing a 60 inch balloon.
Oh you didn't see this?
Why the fuck would I Google that?
No hold on! Why would I Google a guy who can swallow a 60 inch balloon?
You guys think I'm fucking Chris' sidekick.
No no no no.
No I think you're the main kick.
He's not fucking my sidekick at all.
He's the main piece.
Is he fucking you?
I'm not going to swallow the balloon here.
That's too much.
Do you have a balloon in your pocket?
Do you have a balloon in your pocket?
Chris, do you have a balloon in your pocket?
Go get it.
You have a balloon in the car?
Get the balloon.
Yes.
If I have it, I'll do it.
I don't have it.
I'll get the fan.
You know you have one.
Don't you love how he set this up? Wait, you guys don't know I'm known for I'll get the fan
Don't you love how he set this up wait you guys don't know I'm known for swallowing the boy. It's in my car I don't know if it's there. We'll see He's like, maybe. Maybe you're all lucky enough to see the Great West Barger swallow a balloon.
Who knows? It's in my car, though.
You never googled who can swallow
60-inch balloons before?
Oh, fucking loser.
Get back here.
I'm still betrayed after the bag incident
with the Corona bottle.
I'm more sad he does this with his butthole, not his mouth.
It's an amazing challenge. I can swallow it. He didn't say we're swallowing it. Yeah, he he does this with his butthole, not his mouth. It's an amazing challenge.
I can swallow it.
He didn't say we're swallowing it.
Yeah, he's just like his butt.
I was like, all right, look,
I'm going to,
while he does that,
while he does that,
look, it's horrifying.
He sits in on his chair.
Chris is like, watch this.
He's blowing it up.
Then Chris is like,
okay, guys, ready?
He just sits down.
I'm like,
and then I watch it. I'll never see it again. It's fun forever. Okay guys ready
Legit they don't have one
I don't believe you
Like they're all shuffled. No, you not. You're a magician. Everything you do is bullshit!
Are they not shuffled?
That one.
Are they not shuffled?
Yes.
They are shuffled.
Okay.
Um, I want you to name any card.
Wait, you name any card.
It's Elias or Baddy's turn.
You name any card.
Two of spades.
Two of spades.
Two of spades.
Two of spades.
Alright.
Um.
Here's the fucked up part. Two of spades all right um here's the fucked up part two spades don't look at me
you're not allowed to look at me all right what's your full name no that's kyle but that's
we'll bleep it kyle batty no say your name that's fine we'll bleep it fine if you want to do batty
kyle batty it's kyle batty how do you spell it k- K-Y-L-E-B-A-T-T-I-E.
Take this deck of cards.
Look, I'm not touching it.
Take this deck of cards.
Take it.
I'm not touching it.
Don't touch it, Wes.
Take the deck of cards.
I'm trying not to.
All right.
I want you, card for card, to spell your name.
You said what card?
Two of spades? Yeah. I want you to spell your name, card for card, to spell your name. You said what card? Two of spades?
Yeah.
I want you to spell your name, card for card, turn and face up.
How do I spell?
K-Y.
Let's go.
Okay.
Jelly.
K-Y.
There you go.
Y-L-E-B-A-D-Y. Now, don't move. Don't move. Kyle Batty. E B A D
D
Y Now don't move, don't move.
Kyle Batty.
Don't- no.
It- it could- you could've named any card whatsoever.
Yeah!
I want you to show that card to the camera.
I don't wanna show it.
Show it.
I don't-
I didn't touch that deck. Show the- show the camera.
I'm not gonna- I'm not gonna look.
Is it?
AHHHHH!
Sorry. I'm gonna throw up! I didn't know that was- the camera I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad, That's so funny. What the fuck?
You she-devil.
Holy shit.
What the fuck?
How did you do that?
I don't know.
My cum is now in your pants.
Check your pocket.
He pulls out and just licks through his fingers. It's my cum in your pocket.
It is.
And he's just like, ah!
Oh, my fingers are drinking.
My fingers are sticking.
It's like, it's a cup!
Drink it all to prove it!
It's in your white claw now!
Yeah, you wait till back takes it.
How did you do that?
Am I allowed to ask that?
Everyone
initially
instinctively wants to know
how.
How are you allowed to ask?
There's two things. One, you don't really want to know how. What are you going to ask? But first, there's two things.
One, you don't really want to know.
You don't.
I did.
No.
Second of all,
I did.
Second of all,
I can tell you,
the one thing I can tell you
is that that is about 12 years of my life.
That's what I can tell you.
You spent 12 years making that work.
I can, I spend about-
Chris is a slow learner.
Three for most.
12 years of my life.
He's in class with Ryan.
My son's like, touch the deck.
For you to name a card.
Hey!
And for that card to be there.
All right.
That's your answer that
Some people join the army and some people got good at dumb shit
No, but dumb shit one out of the internet
You're right you're right
Chris is of the shit all of a sudden
Go Cody You're right. You're right. And even as good as Chris is at this shit, all of a sudden. Here, give him back the deck. Cody, go Cody.
Cody, take the cards.
All of a sudden they've been like.
Put them under the table.
All right, cut the deck anywhere in half you like.
Anywhere.
Doesn't have to be in half,
but just cut it and put the bottom at the top.
You did it?
Keep it under, keep it under.
Do it again, do it again, do it again.
Cut again?
Yeah.
All right, cool. You want to cut again? again. Cut again? Yeah. All right. Cool.
You want to cut again?
Yes.
Cut again.
Cody's magically holding his penis.
You want to cut again?
He's running his cock on you right now.
Take the top card.
Sit on it.
Don't look at it.
Sit on it.
Don't look at it.
Oh, that's sexy ass.
All right.
At this point, none of us have any idea of what your card is.
Yes?
What did you just do?
Your ball hole nose.
What did you just do your ball?
Like the cards
Like the cards, what does that happen? It's called a riffle shuffle. I think I don't know
No one believes in this growing this this is a shovel deck of cards
You cut how many times?
Three times.
Essentially, you shuffle the deck under the table.
And you took a card and you place it under
and there's no way that either of us
could know what that card is.
There's no way.
Is it black or red?
Red.
Is it hearts or diamonds?
Diamonds.
Okay.
Quickly, out of the top of your head,
name a number between zero and 13.
Go.
Ten.
Close.
Why is it close?
Because it was the nine of diamonds.
Is your butthole a nine?
What the fuck?
Bro.
No.
Can you control the door he has the dune sandworm in his powers your butthole came out look related to Chris
demon we burned Chris Christian control everything but the algorithm.
I mean, I don't know.
His channel seems...
No, no, no.
Please sub to Bottom of the Barrel.
Dude, you want to see something?
Watch this.
Bottom of the Barrel podcast.
This is my magical spell.
Bottom of the Barrel podcast.
Yeah.
Check it out on YouTube.
Bottom of the Barrel podcast.
Now watch me control the algorithm on a Bottom of the Bar a bottom of the barrel not working. That's so weird
For watching this is your podcast day as always
We have Chris and Wes can you guys Chris real quick where are you at bottom of the barrel no where
is Chris Chris Ramsey
check me out Wes Barker
stunt magician don't be confused with stud
magician they'll
never be confused nobody gets it
bottom of the podcast
please go check our new friends out
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on the after show
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