Unsubscribe Podcast - 77 - Canadian Tinder Tips ft. Harley Morenstein

Episode Date: October 26, 2022

Unsubscribe Ep77 - Canadian Tinder Tips ft. Harley from Epic Meal Time MIGHT BE THE FUNNIEST GUEST TO DATE, JUST ASK FLUCK WHO IS DEFINITELY ON THE PODCAST THIS EPISODE. Harley gives us his best Tinder tips , good thing we're all not single! Also, you should try boxing. ------------------------------ CHECK OUT TODAYS VIDEO SPONSORS, Established Titles Go to https://establishedtitles.com/UNSUB and help support the channel. They are now running a massive sale, plus 10% off on any purchase with code UNSUB. Thanks to Established Titles for sponsoring this video! Adam & Eve - Go to http://www.adameve.com, select any one item. Use code UNSUB, U-N-S-U-B This is an exclusive offer specific to this podcast so be sure to support our show and use this code UNSUB to get you not just the 50% Off, but also the 100% Free Shipping - Code UNSUB! Go to Adam and Eve dot com right now! GHOSTBED Right now GhostBed is offering 30% off everything if you use the code - UNSUBSCRIBE at checkout or visit https://www.ghostbed.com/pages/unsubscribe ------------------------------ GO FOLLOW @Harley Morenstein Twitter: https://twitter.com/HarleyPlays Binge Eater Podcast: https://t.co/8UgpasTPE1 Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/c/epicmealtime ------------------------------ OUR MERCH: https://www.bunkerbranding.com/pages/unsubscribe-podcast JOIN THE PATREON NOW: https://www.patreon.com/UnsubscribePodcast WE HAVE A SUBREDDIT??? https://www.reddit.com/r/UNSUBSCRIBEpodcast/ CHECK OUT https://outofregz.com/ CODE: UNSUB http://gfuel.com/discount/baddie CODE: BADDIE ------------------------------ WHERE TO LISTEN Spotify https://spoti.fi/2Ye8YOU Apple Podcasts https://apple.co/3cbqY4k Amazon https://amzn.to/2YbzQia Google Play https://bit.ly/2YcWmaD Stitcher https://bit.ly/3cbnY8o MORE LINKS! https://linktr.ee/UnsubscribePodCast ------------------------------ Follow the Cast of Unsubscribe -Baddie- @Baddie Streams https://www.twitch.tv/baddie https://twitter.com/BaddieStreams https://www.instagram.com/baddiestreams/ https://www.youtube.com/baddiestreams -DonutOperator- @Donut Operator @Operation Donut https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwkm_Wcyh0pc7UUmZZfL-6w https://www.instagram.com/donutoperator/ https://www.twitch.tv/DonutOperator https://twitter.com/DonutOperator -Eli_Doubletap- @Eli Doubletap https://www.instagram.com/eli_doubletap/ https://www.twitch.tv/Eli_Doubletap https://twitter.com/Eli_Doubletap https://www.youtube.com/c/EliDoubletap ------------------------------ Edited by Fluck https://www.twitch.tv/fluck twitchcon 2022 reaction Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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The difference is that Eli is a short king. You're just short Did you just call me a short king? I feel like you don't get short king status just because everyone is taller than you at the moment. You know what I mean? He like lives it. So if there's like

five dudes, they're all like 6'5 and taller. Because you're like, what, 6'5, 6'6? 6'5. 6'6 when I was on Tinder. I always put that extra inch, you know? That made a difference. So I'm 6'1. I used to be 6'2.

Spine compression in there. Again, on Tinder, 6'2. Yeah, of course. I would change that to 6'3. Nah, that was a stretch. Even with like the poof. Yeah, but you can get easy to get lifts. Oh, yeah.

You're going to hate this. I ordered lifts from Amazon. For yourself or me? I'd hate it more if you... You're 6'5". Is it me lifts? I would never do that. That'd be weird.

You're looking short today. I got you. You just sent me back a penis enlargement kit. You're like, I got you something too. We just have that subtle. It's like, thanks. I got you. You just sent me back a penis enlargement kit. You're like, I got you something too. We just have that subtle. It's like, thanks. I appreciate it. Yeah.

Thank you for your lifts. God, lifts is the worst gift you can get for a dude, I think. You know what lifts are? No, I have no idea what you're talking about. It's literally like a heel in your shoe. It's for me to add like three. Some of the shoes don't look like they have. No, it goes in your shoe like the soles.

They're like on your tippy toes in your shoes. They're heels for dudes. They're incognito heels. I've seen those ones that add like two to three inches to dudes. I'm like, wow, I could never wear that. Tom Cruise shoes. You get out. It's like the date goes good. You get home and you're like, what's up queen? You kick off your shoes and you're like

what? You have to take the shoes off in bed when you're lying down. I only take my shoes off lying down. Walking around? I'm gonna piss, thanks for the f***. You put your shoes on before getting out? You're just naked walking around in your lips around your own house

like this is what I do. Wait, did you crack your beer? No. I did, I cracked mine. Open another one. Get another one. Yeah, or don't open get another one. Mm-hmm This and then hold it. We're gonna oh we do. Yeah, you I'm so Great great beard over here Santa Say hi to Eli. It's racially ambiguous, baddie. That guy's fucking ridiculous.

Donut. It's harder to rhyme, but he's a really nice guy. Welcome to unsubscribe. Hey guys, thanks for watching unsubscribe podcast. Make sure wherever you're listening or watching, whether it's on YouTube,

Castro, Spotify, Apple, Google, Amazon, Podbean, Stitcher, or that's all of them. Please leave a comment, like it, thumbs up it, give it a rating of five stars, whatever you do. It helps the podcast out immensely. And Donut and Eli will be very happy if you do that. And we want to make Donate Eli happy today yeah five stars on everything and a comment if there is possible because we need to be

at the top Donut say something motivating and that's where the you come that is come subscribe I need all the slow mo we can get of that there was like five seconds of panic those have been sitting here a minute

what the f*** oh my god they're pranking Ranchwater I was like five seconds of panic. Those have been sitting here a minute. What the fuck are you doing? Oh my God. They're pranking Ranchwater. That's so funny. Why didn't I move out of the way? I expected you actually, I- I was like, oh God!

I expected you to be cooler under pressure and panic. You're like putting it in your mouth and drowning. Imagine that's how you died. You drowned like that. Standing up with a can of soda spray in my face. He could have just lowered his hands. It's like turkeys that drown

looking at the sky when it rains. Yeah, dude. I don't know. My grandpa told me that my god i don't know it might my grandpa told me that happens but i don't know i don't know why but i believe him okay we're back back yeah so help me god if this opens this brace board hi everyone unsubscribed podcast here i'm joined today Hi everyone. Unsubscribe podcast here. I'm joined today by Eli double fab,

batty streams and Harley. You may know him from just being hot and tall and tall. Yeah. And fat. I was fatter for a while there. Yo, hell yeah. Big boys.

Oh yeah. Texas. You get respect here. i was looking at like in the stores and i was like there's no double xls and triple xls my people live here oh yeah endless mediums as far as the eye can see so many medium shirts when canada mediums go first medium large gone here no the double xls They're all gone. Triple XLs. No one's touching those. I'm touching those.

XLs, double Xs. Got them. Large 30-30 pants, I'm good to go. 30-30? 30 length? You're square. Oh no, I never thought of that. I don't like it anymore. You're square. Oh, no. I never thought of that.

I don't like it anymore. Why did you want to all be lying? Man, a 30 waist is crazy. 30. Wait, you're a 40. That seems a little big. Super offensive. That's super offensive.

I don't know waist. No. 36? No. 40. Shut up. 36? Come on.

Me? He's like, 48. 38. 36. No. 40. 36. Come on. He's like 48. Drew, what's that? I'm like an asshole. You're all 36? No, no, no, no, no. If I put on a 36, it'd be, it'd be like weird. I think.

I don't know. Yeah. No, these are 38. Okay. 38's good for me. I feel like 30. What's your length? Whatever is available.

32. I could do a 34 it depends where i want them to sit on my body and how much extra pant i want at the bottom it sounds like you want shorts like 30s is shorts free yeah i wear 32s like how do you wear a 32 you got like stubby legs you got you got a tall torso i think i do and also i think you maybe you wear pants more appropriately than i do i got a short ass you stay in that drop trowel your torso is just oddly long i literally i pull my my pants go down like there there have been girls in the past i've been like why is why is your ass crack not out yet it's like like, whoa. It's like under me. A lot of back, not a lot of ass. Yeah, it's all back. All back.

Very little cheek. As far as the eyes can see. I'm laughing and talking about it, but it's always been something I've been self-conscious of. Perfect. Let's address it. I'm not ass. Let's stand up. Can you drop traveling?

Let's see this abomination you call it and you know we were shooting guns today and i like went over to julia i was like yeah you see this great ass clean you're not clean nice ass is here it's clean uh him as well as um the guy whose shirt was like i i have my guns you gave guns to the taliban so i have my guns oh i know it's one of the it's one of brandon spergy's yeah yeah great yeah that's what brandon said it first spergy spergy uh ass burgers okay but a spergy you take off the ass I am Spurgey no ass only Spurge short ass would be a Spurgey

no just because I have no ass anyways take me away from it I've told the guys before because I've seen some of my favorite Harley moments are is Harley drunk at Webby webby's god when they're hosting they let you me as the streamies oh yeah the stream yeah i remember they did i went up i was like i was drunk and i i went up and posted yeah i was like oh i was like oh you know it was

something stupid i was like you can make a million dollars on YouTube, dummy. Something stupid like that. And then I remember they called me like the next year. They're like, yeah, you got to come and say something fucking drunk and stupid on the mic. And I was like, I can't now. And they're like,

why? And I was like, cause I was inspired by the fact that like, no one told me to do that. I was like, I'm going to fuck up this show right now. And they were like, yeah,

you got to come and fuck up the show. And I was like, well, now I don't want to, now I'm going to come and behave myself. You're not even my real dad. I'm not going to do it. And I did behave myself.

Except I did coke in the bathroom. No one tell Cody. We got a narc over here or what? No, I'm playing around. He's not a narc. But I did do coke. 20% of coke. Drugstore. you're just like so transparent about it you're like yeah drug stories yeah i did no i was i was telling you that i took a ton of new drugs new drugs which is weird to do when you're like an

adult yeah like really into being an adult and i'm like i'm gonna try some new shit this weekend when you're young and like impressionable still it's okay you can fuck your brain up a little bit and you might be able to recover at this age that damage permanent well i'll tell you one thing though it takes a lot more for me to really get messed up because i'm like happy and content and I'm okay. And I feel like when shit gets weird, I'm like, oh, this is weird. This is so weird. I'm kind of like, we can get on top of this though. Just breathe and get some water.

And the second someone comes to you and they're like, yeah, you don't look good. You're like, no, there's no recovery. I was comfortable thinking everyone here tonight tried a new drug. Then I'm sweating. It's not me. It a new drug. It was just me. Then I'm sweating. It's not me. It's not me.

It's not me. It's not me. But I got, I was like so fucked up and, um, and I got, I got hit up. Um, this is actually good news at the same time of having a lifetime experience. I got hit up about, um, uh, a boxing match doing a second boxing match. Cause I had boxed at a, one of those silly fucking stupid YouTube nonsense boxing things. Yeah, but I boxed a fucking YouTuber. So obviously I won. On the grand scale of YouTubers, I feel like I'm on the other end of not being such a pathetic little fucking bitch.

You know, I'm like with you guys, right? Fuck yeah. This is my YouTube rating. my YouTube rate guns and shit. You know, game grips is going to watch this. What the fuck? Suck my dick, Aaron. Well, you beat the shit out of Aaron. Yeah.

I'm coming for you next. John Tron. He's going down the line. He's like, I'm not even with the gay girls anymore. He's just beating him up. And I'm like, sure. But I got an offer to box scan. Oh, that being said, by the way, I was like six inches taller and much heavier than Aaron.

Proportionally, if I fought someone like that, they'd be like, oh, you fight this guy? I was like six inches taller and much heavier than Aaron. Proportionally, if I fought someone like that, they'd be like, oh, you fight this guy? I'm like, that seven foot two, 350 pound guy? No. He stepped up. He did step up. I'm not like, and he was like about it too.

He'd hit me up and he was like, I'm going to fuck you up. He did. He was like, oh, I was just training with my boxing coach. And he was an Olympic level boxer. And he had to stop because I hit him in the stomach so hard. And I'd be like, ha ha. And I'd get off the phone. I call up my coach at work to gain some.

I was like, we have to, we have to train triple this week. No, I have a feeling he's not a gamer. I think he's a super athlete. Yeah. And then the boxing match, I was like, Oh, thank God. He's just a YouTuber. I'm scared. a super athlete. You're just going over one tag team. Yeah, and then in the boxing match, I was like, oh, thank God.

He's just a YouTuber. He's just a fucking gamer. I was scared. I was scared. It was like super athlete. Like, I remember when I was first doing the boxing match, I told Ian, I was like, I need to know my opponent before. And he was like, okay, yeah.

Like, don't worry. I'm like, but I am worried. I was like, he was like, why? I'm like, because I don't want a boxing Filipino or a Mexican or a black person. And he was like, don't worry. I'm like, but I am worried. I was like, he was like, why? I'm like, because I don't want a box of Filipino or a Mexican or a black person. And he was like, why? And I was like, you know. Shut up. You know exactly why.

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Kind of overweight. I need small white. Is that what your Tinder profile said too? I need small white. That's it. I need small white. That'd be terrible. You're just like, swipe left. So I got this message when i was like super messed up to potentially have um a new boxing match against who who knows when who knows but

um i was so fucked up i was like i'm a 7 000 year old baby from an alternate dimension. And so are you. So yes, I will fight again. I just liked the picture. Fluck. Harley's going to text it to me. I'm going to text it to you. You put that up on screen. Did you see the photo?

I'll send you a photo. It was me. Like literally I took a picture. I was like, I'm on a lot of drugs right now. And I sent the picture and they were like, okay, well when you're good,

think about it. I was like, I don't have to, I'm a 7,000 year old baby from an alternate dimension. And so were you. And they were like, okay, well, when you're good, think about it. I was like, I don't have to. I'm a 7,000 year old baby from an alternate dimension. And so were you. And they're like, okay, buddy. It's in the contract now.

Yeah. You drew a smiley face. God damn. Who trained you? It's a long story. It's so so crazy how much time is this one of those four hour podcasts eight we decided to double my favorite podcasts are like four dudes talking for like four hours they're not even in the same house they just call in on each other skype love that those podcasts are the best. My favorite.

It's all day long. It's super fun. Awkward breaks. Just a conversation with the homies. I was referencing specifically PKA because it's always like four dudes. They're like, can you be on the podcast today? I'm like, I'm like walking with my parents on a cell phone. They're like, just call it.

And then I'm like podcasting. I'm like, yeah, what's up? It's like iPhone. The audience. There's's delay desync filter turns on yeah uh so i trained with uh this guy coach jesse thompson from montreal he's great real person real boxer he's really helped me like because i went in there and i was like hey i want to box i just don't want to like get uh punched and die yeah you don't want to be embarrassed yeah well i'm embarrassed i feel like i would embarrass myself in many ways there's so many ways i can get not being embarrassed i'm like

i'm gonna embarrass myself in front of the people that watch a youtube boxing event you know i'm not worried about that i was was just like, I didn't want to like get punched like long R and go home and be like, and like, that's how I am now all the time. From one amateur match. Do you really suck at boxing? Do you know how scary I'd be though? If I was on the street and I was like, I just pictured six foot five, six foot six Harley.

Then you get tranked. Right away they tranquilize you. Then you pull your pants down and stare at him. That guy has no ass. Where's his crack at? It's probably why he's so mad and raging right now.

One amateur boxing. Do you have to wear a belt with everything? No. I'm raging right now. One amateur boxer. Do you have to wear a belt with everything? What do you mean? Do you have to wear a belt with everything? Are you a belt guy? I am a belt guy. I always wear a belt.

But now that you say that, I'm like, oh, he's tightened the drawstring. I thought everyone wore a belt and tightened the drawstring. That was self-conscious. You mean a lot of people got an ass you don't have to wear? You're like, I have my ass to handle it. You're not going to wear a belt? That's what it's for. I got an ass you don't have to do it? You're like, ah, my ass will handle it. You're not going to wear a belt? That's what it's for. I got an ass. To keep your pants up? Yes.

I thought it was like to spank and bite, you know? On yourself? Or whoever. Your homies? Especially my homies. Just to choke the homies. You can grab and bite my ass whenever you want. Oh, God. Alright.

Put that down. Put that down. You don't start with the thing up. Yeah, you're starting. No? Okay. Okay. Hey, Eli.

Huh? You ever just want to feel better than all of our viewers, everybody who listens? You ever just feel like you're a little bit better than all of them? Yes.

Me too. So now with established titles, we officially can be. We can become lords and or ladies if we have a guest on who wants to be. Like me, Lord Batty Daddy and you. Sir Lord Eli Double Chap. You're gonna commit to the, okay. No, this is a different voice.

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What voice do i do you could officially change your name to lord or lady and get it on your credit cards plane tickets etc your mail can now say lord eli double tap if you'd like i love it makes a great last minute gift with we even have a couple packs that come with adjoining plots of land so like we could get one for you and me next to each other so when we die our minds could grow together be i can fit in one square foot you can that's so much you i hope they put mine on top of yours the first 200 people purchasing a title pack using link were effectively next to my plot within a few minutes of walking distance depending on how many of you were to become a lord or a lady we can build our little unsubscribe kingdom today

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Today, become a lord or a lady. The, what was I rambling about a second ago coach or your ass i don't know you went from a coach to a retard walking around hey long arm okay i actually i was like let me run through the nine ridiculously shit things i was talking about here um oh yeah so coach jesse pompson he helped out he specializes in defense she helped me be defensive and that was cool but he's like a real coach with real athletes so he he did have some um commitments that he had to do i went and i trained with this guy lenz lundy he was good um you know he was like uh like a lightweight maybe i'm not exactly sure but he was like more

like uh your size you like i was boxing with you for like a little bit there and i was like damn he'd fuck me up he was like oh there's a guy like i would do like and i was like so this my nightmare is i do it you do thing like that and someone comes out fucks me up like yeah yeah the little king fucked his ass up the short king destroyed that mutant at least i'm better genetics when you say walking away from the right my little dick in no ass Medics are superior. At least I'm 6'5". But then I was talking to him at the time, Sam Hyde. He's like, I was going to be like, he's a content creator.

I'm like, but it doesn't really sum him up. Anyways, there's lots of videos. You guys can go check them out. Google him. Yeah, Google him. And sift through 80% of the things that are not true. But so I was like talking to him at the time and i was like oh check out this uh this tape of me sparring and stuff and

i said to him and he was like oh he's like you're moving you're moving all fucked up he was like you're not that's not he's like you're gonna get your ass beat. Yeah, he was like, come down to Rhode Island and let's box together. And I told my friends, what do you do when that happens? You guys just burp on your podcast? I just fucking burp. Gentlemen approach, I like it. Cut it, please. Yeah, cut that.

That was disgusting. Yeah, there's no room for that here. Or be your own boss and fucking crank it up. Yeah, don't be a... Can we use some reverb? Yeah, reverb. I want the screen it up. Yeah, don't be a... Can we use some reverb? Hey, allow him to shake. Yeah, camera shake.

Put on epic music. So I went there and he was like, he was my height and a lot of people were like, oh, you're going to go down? I didn't know Sam's that tall. Yeah, he is. He was 6'4". And he got the lifts. Sam. Yeah, he is. He is. He was he was he he was

six four and he got the lifts. I'm talking about it right now. And I actually was going to tell you like he's like I did get to know him and I feel like I got to know him better than a lot of people do. But having said that now that I'm thinking back on it, he

said he was six four when I got there. He was definitely at least six five and I'm like, he said he was six four when I got there, he was definitely at least six five. And I'm like, I think he was wearing lifts. It's kind of like, that's kind of like a thing he might do is like throw lifts on and not tell me and then just be taller and then be shorter the next day and also not say anything. And I could just think it was me. It's just fucking with you.

That's one of my boxing training. It's like your training has begun. You don't even know it. I'm not even this tall. Forget everything you know about the world i don't know but my tricks so i went down there and i was just like my mentality was like if i go and i could just um spar with a dude my size and he he loves punching he's got like he's like loves punching shots i'm gonna go on my hangout this guy for two weeks and we're gonna punch each other in a parking lot and um that's guys and friends yes well if you ask me yes for sure if you ask him i'd like to think he would say yes but i'm not gonna speak for him

but you don't have to be you don't have to be my friend for me to say you're my friend okay and that applies to everyone you too cody like i don't fucking care be my friend for me to say you're my friend. Okay? And that applies to everyone. You too, Cody. I don't fucking care what you say about me when I leave. I'm like, oh, Cody, that's my boy. You called me a narc. I fucking hate that Harley. Long R's all day. Long R's all day. Don't say narc.

That's the short N word. Don't call me that. Oh, God. I'm a cop. Say the real one. So I did that with him. And we just like fought every day. It wasn't in a ring or anything, which like I thought it would be in a ring.

But when I got there, he was like fighting in this warehouse. And the next day, we were fighting in this parking lot by the dumpster. And this is when we're fighting in the abandoned dojo. And I was like, these are all Def Jam fight for New York levels. Nothing was an actual boxing ring. It was only like def jam fight for, and he gave me like these, did he fuck with you?

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Truck month is awesome! Ask your Chevrolet dealer for details. This is special you don't know about. He didn't fuck with me, and I was kind of like, oh, what if I get there and he fucks with me? Oh, he's taking you to a dojo. Yeah. A parking lot with a truck. And a warehouse.

It was due to the cell phone. It was his warehouse. Okay. Was it? Yeah. And it was like his office. People were making NFTs over there. And I was like, yo, what were making NFTs over there.

I was like, yo, what's that guy doing? He looked like he was doing stuff. He was like, oh, this is like we handle this. He literally said this. He was like, I know this is like a Montessori school. He could just do what he wants, and it'll come together. He's like teaching himself. He's like making it.

I was like, oh, okay. Then I found out they were making NFTs there, literally. But anyways, so he did. Your face right now is my favorite expression. Oh, he is long R. So he went and he just fought me everywhere. And so when I came back and I saw my coach, he wasn't like, your technique is crazy or anything but he was just like oh he's like it's very clear that your cardio and your resilience has increased since then um so uh i'm by no means at all a boxer at all at all you know i just like have done it for essentially months

uh however whenever people ask about it and to all you fucking losers at home right now. You're disgusting. You fucking idiot. You should go box if you've never boxed. Have you ever told them that Eli? Do you ever tell them they should go box and punch shit? Obviously keep it for yourself. Cause you box all the time and you love it.

And you don't want to tell them. You keep it for yourself. It's a surprise. It's a surprise when you show up. You're like, Eli, can I get a picture? And you fuck them up. Yeah. You're like, give me one.

Fight. Yeah, bitch. Why would you do this? That's literally the first time Eli boxed me. I was like, I didn't know you could fight. Yeah. You beat the shit out of me. Yeah.

Yeah. And I feel like, I feel like even for me, he came up to me. He was like, hey, Matty, here's Matt Best and Eli. Good luck. Take off your glasses. You can't see. Matty was like, I'm doing some bar fights in my day. Bar fights, they don't move so much.

I can't do it. I'm so winded. He's so sober. He's so sober. Yeah, we definitely weren't sober. Yeah, that was a long night of drinking. Cody was there. That was fun.

We wrestled it is fun if you manage to keep going and not get too fucked up you end up on this place where it's like hours and hours later it's like however long and you're like this is the place this cocktail of doing it this long all day we earned this special buzz we earned people don't make it here they sleep or they get sick or they have to eat we're special fucked up like a hard-earned one do you know what i'm talking about yeah i'm now thinking that drunk boxing and that feeling of when you're like winded but drunk and you're like yeah i should fucking yeah matt hit me in the stomach again it's fine oh yeah matt was just teeing up actually resilient in his stomach I was

surprised a lot of lot of drinking picture like every really used in There's liquid in there. Slap of water. Why does he feel it? Shit. Yeah, because we did that demo. It was there too. We had like everyone there just drunk boxing and doing MMA. That's what dudes do. We get a little too drunk. We're like, I'm going to go wrestle in the garage.

That's so funny. I'm like, you should lie down. All the boys. All the boys. All the boys. Take a picture. It's going to be hilarious. Come here. Get naked.

I want to watch a DVD. We're going to watch some VHS. I'm like, Harley, what are you doing right now? He has a machete next to him. If you guys haven't watched Dom or Them, joke makes zero sense. The meme's been amazing. Oh, it's so good.

It's had some good memes come out of it. I just want to watch some VHS tapes, sit down and take some photos. I watched something recently. I forget what it was, but sometimes I watch a thing that maybe I slept on. I'm not going to remember what it was, but the meme in it. There was a moment that I was like ah the meme there it is yeah but like when you don't

know where something's from and then you see it you're like this is where it came from this movie yeah i wish i could remember what it was but i literally saw something like three weeks ago and i was like ah the thing there used to be only like 10 memes in the world yeah yeah it was like, ah, the thing. There used to be only like 10 memes in the world. Yeah. Yeah. It was like, and they were drawings. Yeah. It was like a drawing of Jackie Chan. Yeah. Literally.

It was like the weirdest thing. Nick Cage. Yeah. Nick Cage. Jackie Chan. Like the troll face. Oh, they were literally all just shitty drawings. Bad drawings.

Yeah. The rage memes. Mm-hmm. The little four panel comics. Yeah. The dude. Yeah. I didn't even even think about because you didn't get our memes just suck they were terrible no i think that yeah we sucked at me they were like so funny back then though you're like it's the picture of the raptor and he's thinking and look what it says it says why do why why do you drive on the highway and you park on the part remember like

that one oh the philosopher it was like why do you drive after yeah why do you drive on the parkway and park in the driveway and you're like you had uh caleb there and he was filming a lot of my videos, taking my camera, like film this. And it's my video. And then I hear like in the background of every single clip. Caleb's trying to get serious content. And it's your dusty windy head. I call it the tea kettle the master cut of us all doing that

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shit memes on facebook that you would see that maybe your aunt or uncle or something would share and you're just like oh you're so fucking so fucking dumb. Yeah, all my neighbors are fucking dumb. However, though, if you happen to be in a Facebook group, that's like shit memes posted by your aunt and uncle. Now they're funny when they're posted there, like when they post and someone screenshots that and puts it and you're like, now you get to be like, you dumb bitch. You're not my aunt or uncle posting this nonsense

you're a stranger and so hilarious piece of shit yeah yeah as long as it's in a group it's okay fuck your aunt and uncle you're just coming out hard against the audience like fuck all of you i want them to know guys i actually mean it you should go box you literally should go box i swear even if you go to um your mother ask her if she wants the box box your mother i'm like looking past the camera at last week's guest you should go box you should go box even if you want to box testily do some boxing dude he's risking birds even if you yeah but I was listening to him before he was talking. Before he was talking?

No, before when he was talking. He was saying that he was army and a firefighter. And then like Twitch, I was like, bro, this guy is doing every big dick career move out there. Like only big dick moves. That's it. So now I'm like, he has to box. Pistilli has to box. And he jumped from a plane. Yeah, he has to box pastille he has to box and he jumped from a plane yeah he has to

box um landmark i know and way heavier than who is that i have to box him oh landmarks a big dude oh he's your height no No. Oh, never mind. Boxing. But I mean, people should go. People should box. They should go. Even if it's like you're with a bunch of moms doing a group boxing class. I swear to God, don't downplay it.

Whatever it is, go and hit the bag. Do the little group class that's nearby. Swear, do it. Beat the shit out of this party hit children uh with gloves yeah with gloves that's how they don't bruise no i got i got like not punched i didn't think about it i was like sparring and i was like yeah that was fun nothing happened and then i like went home and i woke up the next day and i had a black eye and i was like what the fuck dude your abs are sore everything you're like what happened what happened last night i know i was getting punched but i think i was i got punched

um but yeah you guys at home you should actually go and you should do a group boxing thing um i was 310 pounds like eight months ago now i'm still a big me like as i'm talking like my belly's folding over itself and sweating within itself my tits are hanging and there's sweat under the tit love them i have like a gray t-shirt i'm gonna stand up it's gonna be a smiley face under my tits and my belly um like but having said that i'm like 60 almost 60 pounds lighter than when i first started and all i could say is like bro if you're watching this and you're fat like your ankles are hurting your knees are hurting i've been there i've done that like i was telling you i was so big

that i would i was like cautious about breaking a toilet seat sitting on it not in texas of course you got fucking big ass toilet bowls here yeah you see like the toilet bowl at target here and i was like yo you would go to target yeah he was like and he was like it was a hanger it was literally a hanger you could put nine planes in there nine planes but instead there's like the jerky aisle. Spring is here, and you can now get almost anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. What do we mean by almost? You can't get a well-groomed lawn delivered, but you can get chicken parmesan delivered.

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I actually love this country. Always love this country. Like being from Canada. Most people don't realize, like, did you realize he was Canadian? I knew he was Canadian. Oh, I know some people are like, oh, he's Canadian? I was like, yes. You're like, have you heard him fucking talk?

I'm from near Montreal, though, so I have... Yeah, you said you were in Vermont. People in Vermont also, like, they sound more Canadian than they do America. Yeah, it's true. A. But you guys say, huh? Yeah. Whenever we say, hey, people here say, huh, like, in the same context.

It's the same thing. You know, like, oh, y'all, you guys say, hey, huh? And so you guys say, huh? You just said it. It's actually a good skit by itself. I swear. It always happens um but when i was um uh going to this big ass walmart there's a million aisles just a small normal walmart probably it's the bernie one yeah exactly oh that's a small walmart yeah don't you dare say that don't you dare say that to me you haven't seen the no ark of walmart well i was like i was like let's walk down the cereal aisle and i like walked down the cereal aisle on my phone you got lost it's like 10 000 steps you reached it today and i'm like we just

did the cereal aisle like that was it uh and there are so many crazy cereals here that we're not even allowed in canada and shit like that why i love the usa i always did like we used to come like we used to come that's it we come the same movies used to be two minutes thursday music can come out yeah guys buy a cum shirt uh doom font though it's real strong back in the day like i was i was born in 85 like 92, 93, when I was human enough to be like, mom, dad, take me to the movies. I'm going to fucking choke myself. I like that age. You guys know, right?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like I'm going to stop breathing if you don't do what I say. Well, he was talking about being like a kid and he was just driving here. He's like, man, I was a shit. How's the kid? I remember being shit. Oh my God years old five foot ten it's like you're in a grown adult

i was like eight and i'd be like like choking myself at the restaurant because i like eight and six minutes i want to leave now and the waiters are like sir sir sit down and my mom's like he is eight i'm like grabbing them. I'm like, ma'am, tell your husband to calm down. You came out three feet tall with a beard. I like opened the curtains and walked out for birth.

You didn't. Oh, you pushed through the curtains. Your dad's like, no, it's ruined. It's like, no, it's ruined. He just sees a fist come out. It's like that. You're reaching around, grabs the doctor head, and you pull yourself out. I grab him by the shirt. I'm like, my name's Hart.

You named yourself. That's a weird name. Now that he named himself, punch back in, you pull out your toy. Harley, it comes from this. You ride it around. It's like,

what's going on? And that is your origin story. It comes from this. You ride it around. It's like, what's going on? And that is your origin story. It's actually great. It's way better than they're like, it's a Jewish baby boy. Now let's snip his foreskin. I like this origin better. Yeah, because I'm like, my name's Harley.

Give me the scissors. Give me the scissors. I'll do it myself. All right. Who's animating? I'm trying to see that animation. This three foot tall baby. No ass.

No ass. No ass. He'll grow into it. That's what his parents keep saying. They were embarrassed by it. He'll grow into it. We don't need to get surgery. He's cutting his foreskin off.

His penis is all fucked up. He has no head. He just cut off everything. And it's still eight inches. I wish. It's a tube. It's a tube. Oh, bro.

It's okay. It's okay. You're in good company here. Jesus. What was I rambling about? Before we started talking about me punching out of my mom's. What was I saying? You have to say cunt.

Cunt. Cunt. Cunt. Cunt. See, we all do a hard T. You can't do the hard T. Cunt. Cunt.

Cunt. Cunt. You want to be a mad cunt. You want to be a mad cunt. You the hard tea. Sick cunt. Sick cunt. Sick cunt. You made it worse. You made it worse. You made it worse. Not a shit cunt. What about a sick cunt? A doo-doo pussy is what we're saying.

What's the difference between a sick cunt and a mad cunt? Shit cunt is... No, a mad cunt and a sick cunt. Shit cunt. No, sick cunt and a mad cunt. It's a shit cunt, right? That's the bad one. This episode just turned red as well. So many cunt. It's a shit cunt, right? That's the bad one. But sick cunts exist. God, this episode just turned red as well. So many cunts. I thought YouTube

liked those. Same. Shit cunt bad. Doodoo pussy is bad. I like that it's called doodoo pussy. Did you guys just come up with a new shirt? Doodoo pussy. That's a good shirt.

No one's going to do a doo-pussy. Oh, hell yeah. That's a good shirt. Chip-cut, doo-doo-pussy. No one's going to buy it. You guys went by doo-doo-cunt shirt with doo-doo-pussy shirt. Wait, what was it again? Doo-doo-pussy. You guys weren't. They weren't, right? They weren't. Oh, you guys don't like good shirts?

Fucking idiots. Oh, what if it's doo-doo-pussy in Japanese, though? Yo. That's how we get away with all our groups of stuff. Go even harder. Doo-doo-doo pussy in Hebrew. No one's doing that. It's great.

I want a Hebrew shirt now. You got a Jew on right now. I'm going to let you're allowed. They're allowed. Get the Jew card. Yeah. Yeah. Doo-doo pussy in Hebrew.

You got a Hebrew shirt being like, no, never mind. Ezekiel 316. Doo-doo pussy. Ezekiel 316. person Hebrew being like no no no no you That was weird I don't know how that happened I like moved my head to scratch my knee And like my pinky like went into his pocket Grabbing that pocket That was really weird So my pinky went in Don't do it again

That was so fucking weird Touch his doo doo pussy right now God could that be a fucking back butt? Your butthole's a doo-doo pussy? Oh, yeah, that's accurate. That's totally accurate. Goddamn. Girl, give me that doo-doo pussy.

You go to prison and the big dude's like, give me that doo-doo pussy. I don't want to. I don't want to do that at all. I ain't asking. You're hurting me. My doo-doo pussy. No, my doo-doo.

All this doo-doo pussy talk is coming off really weird with all the anime stuff behind you guys. I'm like talking like anime stuff. And you're like. Doo-doo pussy. with all the anime stuff behind you guys. I'm like talking to like anime stuff and you're like. Now everything looks weird. It's fine. Yeah, it's fine. Nobody pays attention to us anyways. This is my place.

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help make sure that you get the best bang for your buck right now ghost bed is offering 30 off of everything if you use code unsubscribe that is the full word unsubscribe you just you want to fix that perfect now they can read these prices are scary boo that was awful you you start when did you start your podcast oh yeah podcast brand new though what's called it's called so right now it's called epic meals sorry no no self promo on our way yeah that was jumping on me yeah fucking yeah hey there's this great podcast That actually has nothing to do with me It's called Epic Mealtime

Podcast It's called Epic Mealtime Presents It's called Binge Eater And I was just like Binge eating is a thing I've always done I've gone up and down in weight And I snack like crazy I'm like yeah binge eater you could binge the podcast

I'm sure Epic Mealtime presents binge eater. And then like, I put it up on Reddit, a subreddit twice and it got banned. So the subreddit and everything was cool. And when you search it up on Spotify, you have to put in Harley Morse, you know, Epic Mealtime binge eaters and come up. And I was like, I wonder if the name is problematic since binge eating is like, that doesn't seem like it should be problematic. Well,

we're in Texas. Nothing's problematic unless you want to fucking cry about a bitch, you know? Oh, a word you're bothered by a word, you know? Right. You know,

it's the second episode, but I'm like, should I be changing the name? I'm like, what, should I? No. Right? But what if, what if like, what if when you, okay. Okay. Is this a back end issue that you just fucking, your feed is just fucked up.

It's me, isn't it? It's me. I don't know what I'm doing. Is upsetting people? Well, it's like a it? I don't know what I'm doing. Is binge eating upsetting people? I don't think so. It's not searching, though. It's like a disorder. I don't want to say disorder.

It's like a thing, like a problem people could have. No, we've had much worse things in our titles. You could just not be fucking fat. Yeah, imagine that. But that's it. Like, imagine if I was just like, Epic Mealtime presents Long R r but the word not long r i would love it i would i would hope it would take off but if you have that word then it's

like you're gonna get in trouble they're not gonna be like you know spotify recommends this for you long r this for you long are her but so I was like he may be a change it but I did we did two episodes the third one came out yesterday it's the same shit as this you know you got a table you got a table don't tell me are you just want to dudes calling each other on Discord? We are. We're three guys that Skype at each other. Get a table.

When you get a table. I can't get a table. You guys are killing it. You got to get a fucking table. Do you have a table? For your podcast? Ikea sells them. Get a table. There are Ikea's.

Mad cunt. He's got a couch. He's a doo-doo put. No, he's a. Shit cunts use tables. Shit cunts use tables. Mad cunts use the couch. Yeah.

Oh. The white chocolate macadamia cream cold brew from Starbucks is made just the way you like it. Handcrafted cold foam topped with toasted cookie crumble. It's a sweet summer twist on iced coffee. Your cold brew is ready at Starbucks. But that's the same shit as this. Just hang out and like talk, right? Drink too much.

Talk. Well, you guys started this a year ago, right? Yeah, a little over a year. And even then you were probably like, we're going to do this? Is there room on people's schedule for like one hour? Three men sitting together being like, men, men, men, men, right? going to do this? Is there room on people's schedule for like fucking three men sitting together being like,

men, men, men, men, right? Is there room for that in their schedule? There is. You're in. They are. Now you've got to ask me, is there room for another one? Oh, there was always room. What we did was just like manmoses. We'd just do manmoses

and then finally be like, we should do a podcast. We'd sit at brunch for four hours just bullshitting. We're like. I'm just saying. We have iPhones. Let's record it. And we're sober. Let's go back to Cody's house and set up two iPhones,

one Canon and a Sony. Real bad angles. It wasn't even four. It was only three. It was my vlog camera. It was his vlog camera and two iPhones. We'd always have to argue whose iPhone we were giving up because we're like, what if I get a message? Yeah. Who's going to give up their phones for the hour podcast?

Weren't we all single at the same time? Oh yeah. Two or three. You need the iPhone better then. You're just like, I have a like, I don't want to give up. You need the iPhone better then. You're just like, I have a girl. I don't want to hear from anybody. You take my phone. And everyone's like, no, we didn't hear back from six girls that might sign my name.

What if my Tinder goes off right now, bro? My phone's going to vibrate a lot. I was actually, I'm actually the friend amongst friends who like, they'll call me in the blicks. I'm getting back on tinder i'm divorced or broke up like i need your help and i'm like say less come over let's take some photos are you a good tinder guy like i look at the picture and i'm like cut this cut this for the people listening at home i'm sure you're so single and shit so let me help you out i'm joking by the way these long arse he's getting mad and not even mad cunt mad like like shit cunt mad

confusing being australian doodoo pussy is my favorite word now shit car doo-doo puss this is my tip quick tips any dating profile as a guy no fish only harm yourself by speaking more literally i've seen a million times they could choose a million different guys so when you're like uh hey i like uh i like having fun cool and then you're like and you know what i I hate? I hate when you're done. Because whatever you're going to say is going to be like so, it's just not for them. They don't want it. They don't need it.

Keep it short. Keep it simple. Choose a good thing. Be like, I have a car and I have a job. Or I want the small white ones. Don't say that. He's trying to sabotage you, boys. He didn't tell you to box. trying to fuck up your dating profile keep sure i'll be like be like i have a car and i have a job

i have a i have a place and i have ambition shut the fuck up one sentence secondly even if you don't like your teeth and you're unhappy with your teeth you need a smiling tooth picture they need to see your teeth that you have them yes because no teeth or what they are imagining is worse than what you have so you got to show your teeth and now you only have one more picture don't do it with your friends don't hold up a fish or ugly friends if you do it with your friends. Don't hold up a fish. Or ugly friends if you do it. Yeah, just be you. And don't even have your ugly friends. You ever see that?

That's what a lot of guys do. In Canada, a lot of guys hold up a fish. I assume here a lot of guys, judging by how huge the Bass Pro Shop was down the street, I'm assuming guys here also hold up a fish in their Tinder. They do. It's your baseline. It's like, you have a huge fish shop.

You got people fishing your profile literally there's like someone listening there's there's there's hundreds of people listening and they're like i have a fish in my profile thousands of people this is why i don't get pussy i'm holding up a fish they're like this right now it's like delete the fish two pictures one inside one outside don't have a gym picture or doing an exercise or flexing because it looks like you're obsessed if you have great muscles that's cool don't show them they know they're there they see them you don't need to put them at the forefront or pick up a child and be like don't hold a child that's your child then they're like. They see them. You don't need to put them at the forefront. Or pick up a child and be like, don't hold a child. That's your child.

Then they're like, that's a child. Unless you have a child. If you have a child, shut the fuck up about it right now. That's a later thing. That's like a third day you already got a blowjob where you had sex and you can be like, you know, I got a kid. So you shouldn't bring your child to the second day unannounced? You brought your kid to the blowjob?

I'm sorry. the second you wait till the third you brought your kid to the blue job no go watch tv mom's busy jesus christ keep it simple Keep it simple Two pictures One open mouth Show your teeth Don't do anything Fucking weird

You know like I had a buddy of mine He went and like Took yoga posing pictures He's like All these bitches love yoga I see So he's like

I got a yoga mat I'm gonna put on some yoga stuff And I'm gonna do a yoga pose Be yourself Then she's gonna see you And she'll be like I saw you do yoga Let's go get

Let's go do yoga or something you don't want to get caught up doing some shit you don't want to do you know that's why I know hiking photos for me yeah yeah but if they say oh do you hike I'd be like well

what does that even mean oh yeah it's like not out of real you better fucking google a lot of hiking spots and you'll check them out What's this? What does that even mean? It's a halfway between. Yeah. Yeah. It's like not a real. It's like. You better fucking Google a lot of hiking spots and you'll check them out tomorrow. You just, all I'm saying is just like, you know, keep it super simple. Keep it tight. You know what?

Guys, send, send your things over. DM them to Cody. Just automatically dumped every profile. He'll send it to me. I'm in Cody. He'll send it to me he'll send it to me yeah bitch I walk that's it it's super simplistic

that's actually good am I dropping the bitch being like yeah I walk that's a great answer I just like if that's the only thing in the profile it's like oh this guy's cute yeah bitch I walk right swipe I'm interested if I've seen a female profile just said yeah bitch i walk i'm like well okay we're going i'm curious

good opening line is you message the girl you could be like um do you have that 50k i loaned you and then be like oh shoot wrong text i meant to send this to a person who I loaned $50,000 to. Not a big deal. I lend lots of money to lots of people. I'm very wealthy. She responds, you sound irresponsible with your money. That depends. You start crying.

I broke down. You said, let me show you how irresponsible I will be with my money tonight at dinner with you yeah i walk split this check i don't know if i'm getting late i don't care about this yeah Split this check. I don't know if I'm getting laid. I don't care about this. Yeah. I'm going to go to the middle over here. By the way, I can only vouch for the first like 30% of this conversation. Everything we've said after that dating profile is not it, but I was good at it. No fish.

I helped a lot of buddies. What's no fish? Oh yeah. No fish. Don't hold up a fish. What's no fish? I thought it was like some Texas form of cat fishing. Like I was like, oh, what's no fish?

What we found worked really good. Oh yeah. If you have a verified account and it's linked to your dating profile or gifts of yourself oh if you have gifts harley's like i've never started a conversation with never because i'm just like yeah Go check me out online they go and check me out Online and I'm like I'm gonna suck this Pig's dick

And they're like what kind of videos do you make And I'm like it's funny you're not the demographic I like bacon I like pig Me and my boys are gonna get drunk and suck this Pig's dick bitch And then it's like uh yeah so i don't i'm not like like content facing however what you said about the check mark which is

probably the most pathetic thing of um like the last 10 years for me is like nothing nothing has like nothing has been as successful with the opposite sex as that stupid fucking badge that stupid fucking badge it's so dumb and it goes way too far to people people are just like he's someone if you knew as many blue check mark people as i did my first assumption would be like he's someone shit he's someone not good he's a doo-doo pussy he's a fucking doo-doo pussy but i swear that blue check mark is like it's just like you can literally like slide into a dm dm and be like and you're still gonna stand out because they swipe and they see a check mark and they'll be like, ha, ha. Are you an athlete? Are you a musician?

You play the guitar. You're like, I can. I can be. I can. Are you an athlete? I can play a sport. Not competitively. But yeah, no, the badge is actually pathetic how far it goes.

Always hated that. Loved using it, though. H it goes. Always hated that. Loved using it though. Hated it. Oh man, abusing this power. Felt like Spider-Man. But I didn't give a shit what my uncle said when he died. But I shot cum, not web.

With great power comes, I don't care, don't finish the web. Great power comes. Yeah, I like when great power comes. Got don't care. Don't finish the web. I like when great power comes. Got it. I was like, God, this is pathetic. Come on, Uncle Ben. Come on, Uncle Ben.

When great power comes. Come on, Uncle Ben. Hebrew? There's a Spider-Man dressed like a rabbi on the shirt. Sell it. Sell it. I'm only giving you guys shirt ideas that I want

and then I'm going to hit you up. You're lying. Give me some new shirt. We'll make this. Just for me. Why are you guys just suing us? Well. Well.

Like, what the fuck? But the badge, I was always like, this is so pathetic. This is like a game genie. This is pathetic. I get up, I'm dragging my feet. My buddy's like, what's got you down? I'm like, I don't want to get my dick sucked. Just pissed about it.

Ugh, I did knock over a cat. It wasn't even me. It was this little fucking thing that they put on my account. Oh, it also was pathetic because I would have never done this, but I got banned on Bumble because it was reported as a fake profile. What did you say? What did you say? I linked my Instagram account.

They banned you? Yeah, I thought it was a fake account. Okay, so that's what happened to me. And then they went, they're like, hey, yeah, we brought you back. Our bad. We put a badge on you so they know it's real. And I was like, don't do that. Don't give me this power.

I was like, I don't want a badge here. I don't want to be the badge. I'm hilarious without it. You're not. But I could be to some people. Some people, it's a type He's got to say about flat asses little dicks shit and Dick tonight

But I was like I was actually I was like, okay I gotta leave my account cuz like I have a badge there and now it looks like I'm a professional bumbler you know they're like damn epic meal time fell off my content is like bumble videos the only way you can see is you have to come across my profile they link it a linkedin account for you there was like a secret dating app was not a secret people know but it's like but it's for like famous oh yeah it costs money or hot people i had it before it cost money rova um i forget what i know you try to get me on because it's a lot right yeah i have it on my phone one of them costs a lot. It does now. Apparently it's like a hundred bucks a month or something. There's one that costs like a

thousand dollars or ten thousand dollars. I know this one. It was called like the elite or something. Yeah, and it's all rich like CEO types or like whatever. It's literally only filled with like the worst dudes and I'm like I wouldn't even doubt

just like straight up prostitutes that like just go online and get them there instead of paying for the what you paid for the app you could have got three of them this month instead you want to pay for the app match them and then still pay when you see them let's

get away from this conversation now I got hot takes coming up and I don't want to deliver them here Jesus fucking Christ okay I don't mind it I'm about to go co-retate in this bitch you know what I dislike about the opposite I'm joking

that was a joke I swear it's a joke I swear it's a joke. Let me tell you about women. These doo-doo pussies. Listen here. You can't call a woman that. It reads entirely different. You can call Bastille a doo-doo pussy. You can't call a woman a doo-doo pussy.

I can't call Pest a doo-doo pussy. You can call me a doo-doo pussy. You're a doo-doo pussy. You can't call my sister a doo-doo pussy. I don't know your sister.doo pussy. You can call me a doo-doo pussy. You're a doo-doo pussy. You can't call my sister a doo-doo pussy. I don't know your sister. It feels rude. My sister is a mad cunt. Oh, she's a sick cunt. She's just...

You said a lot of different things. Mad cunt and sick cunt is the same thing. Shit cunt. No, not shit cunt. Not a doo-doo pussy. Yeah, not a doo-doo pussy. Is sick cunt... Did we add sick cunt to the...

Mad cunt and sick cunt are the same. Sick cunt is a mad cunt. Yeah, sick cunt is a mad cunt and sick cunt are the same. Yeah, sick cunt and mad cunt. How do you know it? I know sick cunt from like old Z's videos. What's a Z video? Z's. You know Z's?

Are you a fucking long R? He started the podcast by coming on his face. I don't want to hear it. He just called him a... I'm not in. I'm not in. I'm not in. I'm not in.

Don't like this. Don't like this podcast. Holy fuck. Good. I like where today's going. Cheers, sir. Yeah, it's fun. Good. Good. Do you have fun on the range today? It's a good position.. Cheers, sir. Yeah, it's fun. Good.

Good. Do you have fun on the range day today? Oh, so sick. Yeah. It was all right. I went from like. What was your previous gun experience before this? I hung out with FPS Russia.

Wait. And one of his plays. Back in the day. Back in the day. Before the dark times. Well, I don't know what happened to FPS Russia. I haven't seen him in ages. Shout out to my friend Kyle, though.

I was at FPS Rush's house. He lives with Kyle, so weird, but I never saw him. Anyways, I'm going to throw that bit in the garbage. I sat on his couch. That bit was good. Yeah, right? You should try it again. It was long arm. I sat on his couch in his house i

swear i sat on his couch i was like oh what's this and like i pulled like a gun out of the like the cushions in his couch he's like give me that might be loaded and then he got he got me to shoot um a desert eagle a shotgun um and then a fully auto glock which was cool because he was like trying he's like don't let go squeeze the trigger and try and keep your arm straight and then like i shot it and like 15 bullets and 0.3 seconds later my arm was here i swear to god it was crazy i was like and i couldn't have but in my head i was like my brain was still like you almost killed us you almost fucking shot us in the eyes. And I was like, brother, that'd be you.

That would literally be your fault. You're the one that makes sure I don't shoot me. And he was like, yeah, but it's you and your stupid arms that almost fucking did it. And I don't know. Anyways, my brain. So I shot a couple of guns, came here and like touched a thousand i like we it was an arsenal yeah you guys had like um everything like 850 000 worth of firearms like laid out like it was a fucking like buffet it was literally a buffet of firearms the golden corral of fire it was golden what i what i wanted was like the chef's

recommendation i wanted to sit down and have like the chef be like start with this shoot it and then have this and shoot it and i'd be like thank you this was delicious how did you like that instead i got there like grab whatever you can fucking grab and people are there and they're stuffing fucking

bullets in and pumping shotguns. It's a Chinese buffet. What do you want? Okay, you got nine millimeter. There you go. Go shoot it right now. Come with me. Next stop.

Okay, info. Okay, good. Get out of here. Beat man. What's your name? Okay, love it. Okay, good. Bye.

Everyone rotates out. I just wanted a soft waiter that just spoke to me kindly. But I laugh because he has Asian blood. If Cody did that bit, I'd be here and I'd be like, you're not allowed. You're not allowed. Otherwise, I would get banned on Twitch. They'd be like, you were sitting next to Donut Operator.

He did a mock Chinese accent. You didn't do anything. So you're banned for seven days. They banned you. Why am I in trouble? They're like, you were a racist adjacent. So you're gone. Oh my God.

You were near that guy that says those words. People were fucking stuffing bullets and guns, pumping shit. Castillo was like, I want every single gun that's ever been in tarkov and he was fucking going through guns and like everyone's fucking uh you gave me you came over here like grab this bad boy it was like the built-in silencer and i shot it was like i'm like got me this could shoot people i was like and then you're like grab this one it was like and i'm like i can't believe bullets are coming out of this thing. It sounds like air fucking crazy. Then the M 60, like shooting an M 60 from an air gun to an M 60.

I was like, yeah, I was like, I wish, um, I wish I, uh, had this always the feet.

It's so weird. It was weird. Like shooting the M 60. Like, like I was looking back at videos and I was like, I should have shot it videos and I was like Should have shot it longer I should have shot it longer

looking back Like people who are like Here, this is mine, and I don't give a fuck what you do And here is 900 bullets I'm good with 10 Like I shot that i swear it was like crazy what happened because like not a lot of things like get me like crazy excited or anything i'm like i shot that and i was like like my nipples got hard talking about it my nipples are hard yeah that's what happens rub them i'm pushing them in i want them to be assy you know when they're like assy happened more when i was fatter

my nipple would go in like an ass you had indies no they're outies but when you get fat enough anything could be in any you're laughing at it but there's people at home more fun like he's right I'm only heavy size are pushing the nipples I gotta get a DM there and be like yo always

hated your content never watched you or listen but I got a couple questions i got assy nipples my penis isn't any how's my tinder profile look in this emoji it's gonna be a yellow one took the fish off if it's a yellow fist i'm like send me your picture please and then i'm gonna respond with this is the fist you should be using okay you're not eli you're not eli you could use the yellow the beige the light brown he's got like a lot he could use i don't want to ever see you using anything but the whitest

fist out there i need that far left emoji when When you hold it, get the left shade. That shot. The 50 count. Yeah. Caleb gave me his 454 Raging Bull. The Casull, yeah. And that was really fucked up for me because I don't like, like, look at this hand. It's a little hand.

Grab that. Grab that there. Grab it. Grab it. Look at that. It's a little hand Grab that grab that there grab it grab it. Yeah grab this Cody rabbit. That's really small From pinky to index finger that's small like oh if I spread it. Yeah, but don't even when you spray Yes, I can't go his or not. His right? His are really thin. Right? It should be bigger and meatier. But they're not. Why are you thin fucking hands, dude? Yeah. They're about to take money from your wallet.

He's a long person. Long person. Yeah. But still, look at this. Look at that meat you got there, right? Those meat pads are fucking. Seriously. Those pads are good.

Yeah. So I was holding the raging bull and I shot it and just this thing. It was like. that meat you got there right those meat pads are fucking seriously pads are good yeah so i was holding the raging ball and i shot it and just this thing it was like and my skin was like and then the first time and then the second time it was like and i was like this part of my body was never built to have a magnum there shooting so after two i was like take it and like caleb comes over with fucking triple cheeseburger hands they were like good quality hands like he could punch a wall this guy could like you know he's like he's like my size but he could still grab me and like pick me up and move me and so he took it and i'm like that gun's for you that's all you but then you guys gave me the 50 cal the shoulder mounted one oh yeah and that's different because

like this like i don't trust this little bitch wrist but this big bitch body i could trust so that like i was there and i was shooting that in your face because it did it was crazy it was like if you've never guys you gotta shoot a gun if you're listening to this right now you gotta shoot a gun a box you gotta shoot a gun you gotta even if it's with a group of uh moms jump in there and shoot guns okay just like boxing get out there get out there and punch and shoot been in texas for five minutes i'm like punch and shoot everything but like when i shot that it went through my body and i felt it was like like through my body and it was like it was just a next level experience it was really crazy i loved it

and i have a good friend of mine um chef atari he cooks on epic meal time it's one of my best friends he was the guy that i told you that has the chris vector um he's perky i told him oh with the most and i said uh oh i'm gonna go be shooting guns tomorrow what gun should i shoot and he said he was like uh aa12 if they want to impress me so i sent them a picture of all the guns and there's like literally a thousand guns here and he was like very cool god bless america no aa12 very nice collection looks like a lot of fun i hope you take molly while shooting it feels amazing the energy from the guns running through your body feels like no other did they let you shoot the m60 i i sent the video of the m60 he goes shoot the m60 mda molly ecstasy i'm super peanut butter and jelly do they have a thompson there saving private ryan that gun makes a nice sound and i was and then he's like very good

gun looks like a great time did you you enjoy? Did you touch MP5? Yeah. When are we going back for an AA-12? And this came while I started the podcast. I didn't even write when he said, when are we going back for AA-12? He just wrote, yo, the McRib is back. Please eat one for me. It's like that guy you never respond to in DMs.

And they just keep responding and talking. Hey, 812. Thompson, save him. Every new sentence is just a new text instead of like period or one text. Each one is its own text. It's its own thought. Like, there's no continuous. There's no story back. Did you touch mp5 the McRib is back?

I would be lying on my back, holding it in the air. And I'd be like, stay down. Wait, everybody guys, can I die like this? And before it's coming down, can I die? Everyone's standing around like, what do we do? What do we do? What do we do? Pick him up.

You'd be like, Caleb. Get the gun, get the gun from him. Yeah, you'd be like, back Caleb. You guys gotta pick him up. He's gotta be you. He's too big. Yeah, he's so big. He's too big guys got to pick him up. He's too big. He's too big. He's angry right now.

Caleb, hug him. Right now. He's like eight years old. He's choking himself. The buzz changes. I'm scared. He's choking himself. I'm like, what the fuck?

I'm back. I'm like, you with the nice ass. Come for me. On that wonderful note, thank you for watching the subscribe podcast. As always, Eli Double Tap, Donut Operator, and our very, very, very special guest. Our long, our guest.

Binge Eater podcast. Mine too. Binge Eater Harley long, our guest. Binge Eater podcast. Mine too. Binge Eater Harley. Epic Mealtime presents Binge Eater podcast. Do it. No. If you want. No.

Get it. Get it. Cut that, you fucking. Harley, where can we find all of your wonderful content? You can check it out on youtube.com slash epic mealtime. All your favorite podcast platforms and which motherfucking, you got a guy in Sri Lanka editing this shit from fiverr.com don't fucking cut this part bro i want everyone to know about my podcast as well

okay and you guys got to come on it one by one oh that stupid big white man he talking shit right now okay we do it We'll see you on the next one.