Unsubscribe Podcast - 81 - Lock and Load ft. Nikko Ortiz, The Fat Electrician & Brandon Herrera

Episode Date: November 24, 2022

3 GUESTS IN ONE SHOW?! @Nikko Ortiz @The Fat Electrician BACK TO BACK ALONG WITH @Brandon Herrera AND WE ALL MIGHT HAVE DRANK TOO MUCH Wait where's Baddie???!! We missed him!!!!   Go pick up some sweet UNSUB merch this weekend and save some dollar bills! head over to https://www.bunkerbranding.com/pages/... for their big black friday sale use code BOGO50 Out of Regz is now running a massive black friday sale! Head over to https://outofregz.com and use code UNSUB30 to save 30% off everything in the store Look and smell better today! STUFF be gooood Komikoto is now running a black friday sale, Their biggest sale of the year! Go to https://kamikoto.com/UNSUB to get an additional $50 off on any purchase with code UNSUB Thanks to kamikoto for sponsoring todays video. Established Titles Go to https://establishedtitles.com/UNSUB and help support the channel. They are now running a massive sale, plus 10% off on any purchase with code UNSUB. Thanks to Established Titles for sponsoring this video! Adam & Eve - Go to http://www.adameve.com, select any one item. Use code UNSUB, U-N-S-U-B This is an exclusive offer specific to this podcast so be sure to support our show and use this code UNSUB to get you not just the 50% Off, but also the 100% Free Shipping - Code UNSUB! Go to Adam and Eve dot com right now! ------------------------------ GO CHECK OUT THE FAT ELECTRICIAN https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_T3... https://www.tiktok.com/@the_fat_elect... https://www.bunkerbranding.com/pages/... https://www.instagram.com/the_fat_ele... GO CHECK OUT NIKKO ORTIZ https://www.youtube.com/@NikkoOrtizzz https://www.tiktok.com/@nikkoortizoff... https://www.instagram.com/nikkoortizzz/ GO CHECK OUT AK DADDY BRANDON!! @Brandon Herrera https://www.youtube.com/c/BrandonHerrera https://www.instagram.com/realbrandon... OUR MERCH: https://www.bunkerbranding.com/pages/... JOIN THE PATREON NOW: https://www.patreon.com/UnsubscribePo... WE HAVE A SUBREDDIT??? https://www.reddit.com/r/UNSUBSCRIBEp... CHECK OUT https://outofregz.com/ CODE: UNSUB http://gfuel.com/discount/baddie CODE: BADDIE ------------------------------ WHERE TO LISTEN Spotify https://spoti.fi/2Ye8YOU Apple Podcasts https://apple.co/3cbqY4k Amazon https://amzn.to/2YbzQia Google Play https://bit.ly/2YcWmaD Stitcher https://bit.ly/3cbnY8o MORE LINKS! https://linktr.ee/UnsubscribePodCast ------------------------------ Follow the Cast of Unsubscribe Baddie @Baddie Streams https://www.twitch.tv/baddie https://twitter.com/BaddieStreams https://www.instagram.com/baddiestreams/ https://www.youtube.com/baddiestreams DonutOperator @Donut Operator @Operation Donut https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwkm... https://www.instagram.com/donutoperator/ https://www.twitch.tv/DonutOperator https://twitter.com/DonutOperator Eli_Doubletap @Eli Doubletap https://www.instagram.com/eli_doubletap/ https://www.twitch.tv/Eli_Doubletap https://twitter.com/Eli_Doubletap https://www.youtube.com/c/EliDoubletap Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Can you hand me a wine? I would love to. A mango? What is that? A pineapple. Dude, my cum will smell good. Ladies love the pineapple. Taste good.

Well, they love it when you smell it. Is it smell or taste? Why the fuck do you think I know what my cum tastes like when I drink pineapple? Why do you? I didn't say I didn't. I'm asking why you think I know. You look like a guy. Did we already start?

Brandon, we already started. It looks like a guy did we already start? did we already start? it looks like a guy that's tasted his cum we have to clap 1, 2, 3 damn okay hey that was like so lock and load what's that I started taking it a couple days

I need to get some of that stuff you do you can get it on. We're just freely pushing PKA's shit now. Well, it's GorillaMind.com and use the code Brandon. Oh, nice. If you want to shoot ropes like Brandon Herrera, where'd that name come from? If you want to.

Lock and load was the, it's like a supplement. You take a bunch of shit. It's like selenium and a bunch of other shit. But basically it's nine pills a day. And go for it. Rocket. Nine pills. Yeah. of shit it's like selenium and a bunch of other shit but basically it's nine pills a day and go for it rocket nine pills yeah but basically you're the whole point is to come like a fucking champion and like it literally just like it's it's a it's a volume enhancer gives you a peter just 10 volume and you come a lot more i feel like this would be like an eight or ten roper yeah it's like it's

it just makes it makes you come more it It's the whole fucking point of the, the, the supplement. It really works too. You have to take it for a while. My favorite part is just bewildering random women. Yeah. It's amazing. I started taking it a couple of days ago and didn't tell, I didn't tell a certain person. So we'll, and we'll see how that goes. Oh, so she hasn't noticed yet.

Oh, wait, wait for it. Oh no, no. She, we got back. So we went to Vegas for Halloween. Right. And she got like the the the shot show bug in vegas and so she's been down and out for the past three days since i've been taking lucky load oh when you come back when we like he's back into the game i oh it's stored in the balls right now do those balls are bursting From Halo just being in the morning his balls are And he's just going to hand- And Heather's like, what's wrong? Why are they the size of two grapefruits? Oh, no. Don't touch them.

It hurts. He's just going to hand-cog that shit. That's what we were talking about yesterday. It's like, it just cuts to the frame on the wall. It's like a clean wall. It's a splat of a wall, but Heather's outline. It's just a clean cut. Use the code Brandon.

Say what? That's a great ad. Say hi to Eli. Say hi to Eli. It's racially ambiguous, Maddie. That guy's fucking ridiculous. Don't hurt.

It's harder to rhyme, but he's a really nice guy. Welcome to Unsubscribe. Hey guys, thanks for watching Unsubscribe podcast. Make sure wherever you're listening or watching, But he's a really nice guy. Welcome to unsubscribe. Hey, guys. Thanks for watching unsubscribe podcast. Make sure wherever you're listening or watching, whether it's on YouTube, Castro, Spotify, Apple, Google, Amazon, Podbean, Stitcher, or that's all of them.

Please leave a comment, like it, thumbs up it, give it a rating of five stars, whatever you do. It helps the podcast out immensely. And Donut and Eli will be very happy if you do that. And we want to make Donut and Eli happy today. Yeah, five stars on everything. And a comment if there is possible, because we need to be at the top. Donut, say something motivating. And that's where the, that is.

Come subscribe. Cody Stark this b****. Hi everyone. Unsubscribe podcast here. I'm joined today by Eli DoubleFap, Nico Ortiz, Nick the Fat Electrician, and Brandon Berber. Berber. Do we're back to five where the audio is either gonna be A, terrible or B, terrible. It's looking good right now.

Five, four mics, this is gonna be good. Nick's audio is gonna be like. Like he has the one laugh. Yeah. It's gonna be awesome. Fluck, we're so sorry. We're so sorry. Look.

Literally just gonna crop me out. Oh god, he's good. Ditch my audio, crop me out to slug. I'm not even in the back zone. This is weird laugh between you and me. I'm not even in the back zone. I'm not even in the back zone. I'm not even in the back zone.

I'm not even in the back zone. I'm not even in the back zone. I'm not even in the back zone. I'm not even in the back zone. So look literally just gonna crop me out. Oh, okay. It's my audio crop me out to sleep There's also gonna be parts where like you're gesturing over and there's just like a black Sensor bar goes around me or some shit. Okay back to the calm though back to sound all right So what's the percentage you save? You save save you use code Brandon. Oh, oh, oh fuck that. I'm a gold point you're coming more my brother in Christ Ten percent something like that what do you what is the increase in semen volume percentage wise if you had to ask? Oh, that's what I thought you were saying after after about like after like two two weeks it's a big one it's like jump at least 50 a double wow which also makes you it makes you come longer too and harder which oh yeah is the pleasure though nicer dude that pre extended do you get that pre-come too yep lots of pre come you can sticky finger all day long I

Don't know what the fuck you're talking about I just don't really know what you're why would you want to sticky finger off when they ask can you do your 15 second um ad spot for of just like a table and then you just like try to spell your name with your jesus it's just a cum hits the table it's like brand do you just use your unsub code throw your penis no yeah it's like my favorite part it's just a female enjoyment go from oh, this is amazing to oh This is going on for a while to what the fuck is physiologically wrong with you scooping Occasionally my parents watch this

It's right at the beginning of the episode. Oh, I know. It's fucking great. Babies all have grandkids. You're making a bunch of more cum. Yeah, dude. They probably already have some. It's possible. I don't know.

Dad's going to be like, Brandon, fucking good work on the fucking cum stuff. You've been using it all day long. I'm going to be visiting them in a few days. I will absolutely be taking that the entire time. I've got to keep up my come gains Yeah, like if you don't go away you got it You got to keep it up do come gaze or fucking the thing are you on that lock and load grind?

I used to do I used to actually build my own little supplement thing with it, which is better or worse It was just using random vitamin zinc. It's all those zinc is a big one, too Yeah, it's all the things There's like some seed extract or something is it corn syrup? Where the fuck I'm getting fat I'm not shooting more come Dr. Pepper all day long and shooting like 20 foot ropes. I just like that. That's the dry.

Hey, so given recent events, does this mean that we need to revisit Brandon the superpower? Oh, dear God. Which one was Brandon? What recent event? Brandon's is the one we can't talk about. Now that I know that you take this supplement, I want like, it's like Spider-man jizz out of your dick You swinging around

So well if okay, that's actually a pretty good question if If you guys could change your superpower, what would you do? Cody can. Would you and what would you change it to? I love my superpower. I do it every day anyways, and I don't fly. Eli, the backwards hat is your dream. You're really putting on, like, Kevin Smith vibes right now. Okay, you guys create a superpower for me.

Or a better offset. I like speed. Speed's a pretty gangster one I think there's better powers, but fucking run The power we get to pick the down fuck yeah, I changing superpowers no, I don't you can change my offset Which is cool, but I think there's better offsets for super speed Yeah, so for everyone that doesn't know Eli superpower was he's the Brown streak. He can run an incredible speeds.

He's he's the flash basically, but he can't control his bowels when he runs and he just shits everywhere. I've got a pretty good idea. You can't slow down super fast. Yeah. I like that. Oh, he's just running into schools and 60 miles an hour.

He's like, I'm going to save the kids in U Bobby and then he did can't slow down It would still be better than You also have the same ability as like the girl from X-Men that can just walk through walls and walk through anything You have that for five minutes after you use your super speed I can walk through walls you had no you have to you can't not you can get there super quick, but then you Just as useful as the Uvalde PD I like already showed up a mic. I you got five minutes of

Getting that shit on under wraps cuz I do shit right now you missed one Crime car of getting that shit under wraps because I can't do shit right now. You missed one. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Crime cock. Crime cock. Just show up and watch for five minutes. I love just having to watch anything. It's like my buddy's getting their ass beat. I show up to save the day. Still a five

minute window nothing's happening cody's yelling racial slurs brandon is offing himself over and over trying to reset the day it's been fucking 10 minutes and i can already tell this is going to be the worst episode of unsubscribe i've ever been on not worst but the hardest i, we started with cum. Cum roll. Which, that checks out. Okay. Pineapple. They were good. We're redoing these.

We went to Uvalde right off the bat. We're doing really good. We're doing great. This is not, dude. This is what the people came for. Just full swing. Man, I know why we do this, but why do you fucking watch? That's worse.

Guys, we've been drinking for like seven hours now. We're forgetting about the days. Yeah, you're forgetting about the previous days. Watch that's worse guys. We've been drinking for like seven hours now It's been it's been a lot of hours at least ten responsibly though Mika what was your superpower? Oh yeah. Did we give you one? No I never got a superpower. How? You've been on how many episodes so far? One. One.

This is. Do you know all of ours? Well yesterday. The one yesterday? The yesterday's was two. Yeah. But we didn't do superpower because I didn't even realize. I was like wait did we do his?

Because like okay Cody can fly. He has to yell racial slurs to fly. Okay. Now I can run fucking awesomely fast, but I just I love the, what is it? What's my name? Crime Cuck. Crime Cuck is the best name ever. The Brown Street versus Crime Cuck.

I'm like, Stark. He gives bad ass detailed police reports. He has five minutes to finish. He's bad-ass detailed police reports. He has five minutes to finish. He's an awesome character witness in any fucking situation. I got your sketch, at least, motherfucker.

Please don't leave. You're trying to put pen to paper? Fuck! Yeah, you can't even take notes. I know. In the pictures, all you're like, no! God damn it! What's yours uh so i think it's i think i can't die but i'm constantly offing myself like i it's like a deadpool thing like i can't actually die but i think what we can only wish yeah exactly look your downside was his body he wakes his body stays there he wakes up the next

morning oh he's in the bed and he doesn't remember how he died. So Brandon's is always a body is left somewhere. So even if it's in his house, he'll wake up in his bedroom and he's like, oh, what happened? Why am I hanging from the ceiling? No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no.

You're trying to dispose of it. That's what I like most is you having to get rid of your own. What is your name? Oh, I don't know. I don't know if I we I don't know if we ever gave ourselves names the incredible respawn was I'm the flying The cosmic cancellation landing on earth like no captain can't captain cancel yeah cancellation oh my god jesus and then what was yours yes What was yours? Yes.

Oh, yeah, I forgot that. Yeah, well, and she can always read your mind. No, that was Leon Lush. He can read minds, but his wife can read his mind. Yes. God, I forgot about that. Oh, that's a really good answer. Yeah. Thank you.

Oh, excuse me. Why are you walking so close behind me? Well, you're a tall guy. You throw a decent shadow when I'm walking in it to keep out of this bright sun. It hurts my eyes. Okay. Well, you know what? Spec Savers, you can get two pairs of glasses from $149.

And you'll like this. One can be a pair of prescription sunglasses. Sounds great. Where's the nearest store? Not far. Come on. Let's hurry then. To my count. One,! Where's the nearest store? Not far. Come on. Let's hurry then! To my count. 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2. Visit specsavers.ca for details. It's like mind reading. I was like

duh, that's fucking awesome. Your wife can always read your mind. She's the only one. He was like fuck. Well that's actually perfect because he could just divorce her. No, it's any future spouse. So anytime you get into a long-term relationship, then that's it. Unless he's banging. That's great.

He's catching feelings. They just read his mind then. Yeah. Or it goes to your parents or something. He knows immediately the day when that happens. It goes to the parents. Jesus Christ. It's immediate.

That's a little Oedipal, but all right. The girl's just like, God, I love him him man. This bitch sucks. What'd you say? If they knew about the superpower offset they might be really kind of they might be flattered They're like oh wow I'm getting close to him cuz I'm starting to read his thoughts like it might actually really for a second Any dudes in your head or girl anyone in your head period what? Wait You lost me on 80 dudes in your head You and words today, it's not my strong suit hard swipe. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam.

Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Happy Thanksgiving. It is also Black Friday Cyber Monday this coming weekend, which means you can get that money. I don't even need an ad paper for this one. This is all from up here somehow.

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Have a good time. Wish you guys all the happy holidays. All the kisses. Love you. I like me canyons. That was the funniest shit I've ever heard he was so fast that bring i know we didn't give him a negative no he goes we're like what's your power i want a super stretch we're like okay what's we gotta figure out an off thing to that he's like punch

my wife i beat the shit out of her at least two black guys in a broken nose so what's the offset where's the downside i don't see it so it is going oh no we were just like me you doing okay that's how I activate my powers Directly related to how hard they hit It's just like the flash where all the problems are solved by like I just gotta run faster. He's like, I'm sorry, honey, I need to stretch farther. He's got that key. He's like, and he's like right there and he just looks back, looks at the white bitch. It's like Iron Man

and the Hulk. Jordan from Space Jam. Yeah, Space Jam. Space Jam. He's clawing the fucking beatings. He's like, wow, that's really far. He's stretched really far. About a fucking 15 minute beating, bitch He's like, wow, that's really far. That's really far. That's about a fucking 15-minute beating, bitch. You better get ready, bro.

Nico, what is your superpower? I don't know. Y'all give me one, dude. No, you got to choose. I have to pick my own one? We picked the bad side effect. You just got to pick the good one. What superpower would you want?

Well, okay, okay. To be fair, if I could pick any superpower that I've always wanted, it would be to like teleport we already have that demolition ranch has that one well he has to kill a kitten every time but he does that anyway yeah but we want to know that part where we were talking about it's like where it's just an annoyance because when you kill enough kittens you get very desensitized oh damn we were talking about yeah after like a thousand kittens we were saying it's like you have two lazy bullies like one that's laying down one's sitting up so

you're like you down that kitten game is getting there there's a lot of kitten bodies everywhere why does he run an animal shelter? Come to my no-kill shelter. What's the superpower, Nico? I don't know. What superpowers have not been taken then at this point, though? Literally, we just covered all of them. So then how the fuck am I supposed to pick shit if they're all taken? They're not all taken.

You just said they're all taken. No, we covered all the ones that have been taken. All the X-Men. Well, you said one that I want. Maybe you could get, like like fucking spiky hands or That shit that's lame. Oh, I'm a dude He's just a big fucking cat bro my brother in Christ you better step away from the shit has anyone done like time dilation shit Anything like that like your time yeah gravity no gravity or two Okay, pause travel through time, but you have to adopt the mindset of the era that you're in so if you're in the 1860s

You get super racist. Oh I love this And if you're in like 2047, you get ultra low. And not just time, geographic location. Ooh, okay. So, both. And when you go to a new time frame, it's still a solid five days of it's still there. So, when you're in like...

You get a time travel hangover. Yeah, you get a time travel hangover where you're like, you go from like 1700s America to like 2020. Oh, God. And then you're like, what? I would become like a different person then. I would have to stop traveling through time. I'd be like, fuck, I'm probably going to become a racist again. Again?

Again? Yeah. I'm like, I know the game. I can't. It's too fucking tragic, bro. It's a risk. It's like Quantum Leap. Back to racism.

Yeah, he's back to racism. He has the watch on his hand. The whatever vehicle he's going in. Oh, that's a good poster. That's a really good poster. It's a Cadillac. That's a Cadillac. Roots.

Where we're going, we don't need roots. Cadillac. Roots. We're not going. We don't need roots. Eli pulls up. Nico, get in the Pontiac. We've got to go back to the future. How would I feel about myself then? If I look at my ID one day, I'm just like, Ortiz? I didn't say you had to become a white supremacist.

You go to the Alamo and you're like, Ortiz. Why do you keep choosing white supremacists to jump into? You have a choice how to save people. Stop just going into those bodies. Wait, we're going into those bodies? Wait, wait, wait, what? What, we're body jumping now? Yeah, I didn't get that.

Oh, well, yeah. I thought it was time travel. I was thinking quantum leap. Oh, you're thinking I'm retarded? Yeah, quantum leap. I'm retarded. No, it was, I'm able to like travel through to or like pause okay and shit like okay so that would be really dope like quantum leap superpower but the offset is you're just going into like just the worst people and that's your it could even be like it could even not be that

pronounced you're like oh let's just go back to like 2008 and then for like a week you're obsessed with taylor swift for no fucking reason okay i'll take i'll take this power okay if he's body swapping i was thinking of uncle ruckus like oh god like he's in uh the greenville slave auctions and then he fast forwards he's uncle ruckus Imagine if you get Superman's power like all of Superman's power like you wake up and that is you're like And the offset is you look identical to Adolf Hitler no matter what Any time before 1939 As a designated historian, I'm required to point out the Adolf Hitler definitely was not allergic to crystals There's one smoked him a lot the car Did a lot of math.

I was like, what the fuck? Superman, kryptonite. He's doing a nerd joke. He was injecting a lot of methamphetamine. And liquid cocaine. Yeah, you can see him. He had a private doctor who was injecting it. Which also, as it turns out, this is great for the podcast,

the injection of methamphetamine intravenously apparently is such a euphoric effect in the initial injection out this is great for the podcast uh the injection of methamphetamine intra intravenously uh apparently is such a euphoric effect in the initial injection that it can lead to spontaneous ejaculation you just come brandon what's your discount code yeah brandon at uh gorilla mind.com uh lock and load and also just buy from anybody it's really not hard and come you can buy all that shit on fucking Amazon. You get that shit for free in San Francisco and everywhere else in California. That's true.

You guys are very progressive. For fucking free. You just stand on a corner long enough. People are like, hey, do you need clean needles? I remember seeing this the first time. I was like, what the fuck? We're trying to stop. No, you're giving people free needles to do drugs.

This is bad. They're just going to reuse the free needles. You're not going to stop any disease. It's true. Stop that. Give free drugs. Whatever happens to recycling? I will say, though.

They're just dipping. It's like a box of chloroproxide. Like one and go. Two and go. This is not sanitary. The earth is healing. It's like that condom. The condom factory you did where they were using oh yeah come yeah come come what was it come come i love cody called me he's like hey eli uh you're asian can you do an accent for me real quick for this bit

literally how that call went i was like yeah what is it and he's like i'm gonna just send you what you need to say it's like come to come come pop for him uh we sell best used rub condoms you ever need okay here you go number one number two best in china okay you have good time goes like that's good enough and then he used to i was like oh and it's like my asian friend like glaring on the bottom of the text yeah just so we're clear it's fine if he does this i don't remember what asian country it was but they made a monopoly of taking used condoms and like recycling them and selling them back to people and they got busted and I'm not gonna make an Asian voice on YouTube and get busted

I'm almost a hundred percent sure I've done a racist Asian voice on YouTube before. Yeah, I'm 100% sure you've done that too. I know. I could almost... Oh, no. I know exactly what I did there. Let's hear about the Siggers. Oh, yes.

Have you just seen what Brandon's doing? You know who I fucking hate? People who defend Sig Sauer, also known as... Well, whatever you'd like to call them. I just. Why are you floating? This isn't racial. I like Nick just contemplating every time.

He's like every time. Last night. They're like, why can't we get Justin Roiland on the podcast? Well, we could before the cigars remark is this true konnichiwa konnichiwa today okay wait I'm looking up the exact ad why am I so bad at this this is like the hardest thing I can have the phone in

front of me. I'm like, oh, it's like one sentence. This is super easy. I just have to remember. Kamikoto is now running a Black Friday sale, their biggest sale of the year. Go to kamikoto.com slash unsub to get an additional $50 off of any purchase with code unsub. thanks to Kamikoto for sponsoring today's video. Kamikoto, why do I say it in a Asian voice automatic? I watch way too much Japanese anime. That is what, that is what, we have to get through that. I watch a lot of anime, anime, anime days. Konnichiwa. Kamikoto is now running their biggest

Black Friday sell of the year. This is the biggest, wait, konnichiwa. Kamikoto is running Black Friday sell of the year. This is the biggest, wait, konnichiwa. Kamikoto is running their biggest sell of the year right now. Why? Because it's Black Friday. I might have to actually get this proper. Let's try it one more time. Konnichiwa.

Kamikoto is now running their biggest. Konnichiwa. Kamikoto is running their biggest. Damn it. Flack, put this in. We'll sum it, make it funny. Konnichiwa. Kamikoto is running their biggest... Damn it! Flack, put this in. We'll make it funny. Konnichiwa, Eli-san. Kamikoto is running their black...

God. Konnichiwa. Kamikoto is running their biggest... Fucking Black Friday sale. Konnichiwa. Kamikoto is running their Black Friday sale. The biggest sale of the year. Hey, I know that.

Go to kamikoto.com slash unsub to save $50 on any order. Use code unsub to get that thing, to make that app. Use code unsub to make, to get $50 off. Fluck. I need some Japanese flute music.

Samurai style. Go. style go these are handcrafted japan god these are actually really nice if you haven't seen the wooden box they come in look at this oh look at those blades look at those blades and this nice little box now we cut something. Okay, this was left at the unsub house. Testing the blade on food I found at unsubscribe. We have a pita. Oh, it's a brek. This actually looks really good. Oh, that smells really good too.

Okay, let's see how strong. First, the first thing you always cut with a knife, paper. Ready? Oh Jesus. Okay, that's really sharp. It's paper. The true test is can it cut through this peanut butter, banana, falafel?

That is really sharp actually. I mean, and that's bread. Usually that's like soggy-ish. A real test would be, That is really sharp actually. I mean, and that's bread. Usually that's like soggy-ish. A real test would be... Anime eyes go. These are actually handcrafted in Japan. They are super, super nice blades. Oh my God.

What did I just open? This is from Batty. Batty left his... Can it cut through that mold? I mean, this is like a real, okay. Oh, spores went in the air. That's grody. That is a sharp-ass blade.

I ain't gonna lie. Huh. Kamikoto Blades is running their Black Friday sale. The biggest sale of the year. Go to kamikoto.com slash unsub and use code unsub to save $50 off of any order. God, look at that. That is nice Japanese steel, actually.

Holy crap. Go, look at that. That is nice Japanese steel, actually. Holy crap. Go check him out today! Poriwa Anagasa Masu. That means I'll take one, please. Anime boy. Last night, it was the first hour, he was just like... Okay, what happened last night? Oh, God, it was

something. Dude, you guys, we were like, like oh are they gonna go out with us oh i don't know we'll see what happens fucking four or five hours go by the bar is closing i get a text from both of you at the same time like yo dog what's the mood i'm like do we already need a fucking riot last three and a half hours yeah dude that was a long it was an hour and 20 minutes. We walk away, do stuff. Nick's drunk kicks in.

He's like, let's do it again. I do you fucking. You're going to get me canceled. We got to go again. And then he's just like... He just sits right there. Okay, motherfuckers. He's carrying the microphone.

Like, okay, what are you... Dude, we're trying to fuck this over. And we're like, no. No, you fucked up the first time, guy. You're done. So today we're going to fuck this over and we're like, no. No, you fucked up the first time, guy. You're done. So today we're going to talk about the USS Indianapolis. Let me just read the Wikipedia page real quick and we'll be done. Exactly.

It's 100% up. Tell us about 45 versus 9-0. Oh, 45 ACP? Yeah. Oh, the history of the 45. Anti-cow projectile. Anti-cow projectile Cow project the only reason I know the story is your YouTube channel. Oh, nice fucking party

Left you with gay Now my bush life smells like mango It's like the vermin supreme like with the fucking glitter, like, you're gay now. Congratulations. Oh no. Nice. The internet makes enough fun of me for drinking bush light, now it's bush light with white claw on it. Bush. Thanks, Beelize.

Dude, there's- I cannot tell you the amount of people who meet me in person, they're like, Oh, well, I'm glad you like killing white claws and never drink them, and I'm like oh yeah Yeah, that's what that is totally I hate them so much. Oh Man wait wait 45 ACP. Yeah, so basically America was involved in military conflict. I 98% sure was the Philippines they're going up these guerrilla warfare fighters that were known for eating coca leaves and getting very high on stimulants before going into battle.

It was fucked up. They would also basically pre-tourniquet their limbs. Holy fuck. That was 1918, 1920s? What was that, 20s? Yeah, it was the 20s. I remember that. I actually remember this.

Well, let's get them loose that I actually remember this get loose Because at the time the military was using what was he the 30 30 carbine that they tried to go to for a minute So there's 30 carb carbine 32 super maybe 38 super is that stupid little carbine? They tried to switch to right after World War two the parachuter was the m14. It's the parachuter in 14 You talk about the 30 carbine yes, so it didn't have enough ass to put these guys down I use it in day of defeat all these literally called 30 carbine. It's got an M though It's got a military doesn't have one carbine. Yeah. Oh yeah, and one carbine there It is anyways this rifle didn't have enough ass to put these guys down with

Efficiently so the US government's like well. We need a pistol. we want to find wait this was after no this is free I misspoke all right this is like right after one yeah I'm sorry I pre I pre actually he doesn't have wiki in front of him go on anyway the United States government wanted to do the study on what was going to be the smallest pistol cartridge that could kill a cow with a single bullet. Where were they shooting the cow? In the head, I believe. They did all kinds of weird studies, and this was like highly controversial. I refuse to believe that 30 carbine couldn't do that.

If I shot a cow, we can go to the ranch right now. I'll shoot a cow in the head 30 car But I have it my fucking office will do it look Branded why weren't you rolling? I was doing a test Film it next Where they can't be worth more than like four grand a piece They wanted around that could drop a cow they decided they were gonna go to 45 ACP That's why I say it stands for anti-cow projectile,

also anti-plane projectile. It's the only pistol round that's taken out of plane before that also happened. So they decided they could kill cows. We'll go back to that. Okay, go on.

It happened. It did happen. So it can kill a cow in one shot. Then the U.S. government is like, well, what's it going to do to a person?

So they took the bodies of people that donated their bodies to science? I love this start fucking shooting them with 45 ACP for science, and it's like that's That's probably not what they donated it for but okay Though it is that grandma story. It's like I donated rocket. Yeah They literally like strapped some fucking old lady who donated her body to science to a goddamn chair to a rocket and fucking buzz light-year Her ass up in the fucking sky and exploded it and the family found out about it later and we're pissed They're just getting fried pieces of Albuquerque or you already know that was like this it's like Getting the last bit of duck

Put an arm up. Okay. Just flying. The two dudes who are being poorly paid. Yeah, exactly. Just government contractors. It's two privates at that point. They don't give a shit. Grandma fucking hiled into the afterlife is what you're telling me? Can you imagine how wild documented history would be if we could just go back in time and just give soldiers starting in like iPhones World War One?

Just just camera phones. High quality pictures. Oh, it'd be gnarly. It'd be. I feel like it'd be bad. Don't be idiots like they 100 percent are. Have you seen that picture of the dude in the Pacific Marine in World War two and he's just wearing a palm leaf

On his waist and that's it and a bazooka War changes the men that fight it never do Fucking true More was it more caught Cath God Catholic best sniper ever. Yeah. He's doing vlogs, like low crawling in behind enemy lines. Just like, hey guys. This is Carlos. What's up? Yo, guys.

Thanks for all the donations. You boys crawling through enemy territory. Yo, shit. We going live right now. Okay. So the enemy's out right now. We got that general in my sights. Whoop, whoop, whoop.

Hit that fucking like button right now. We turn that camera. Okay. 100 subs. I'll hit him with a 50 cal. You know his nickname? What's cal. You know his nickname? What's that? You know his nickname?

Fucking, I don't know. White Feather. You know why? Yeah. Because he had a big ass white feather that he would put in his hat to go do counter sniper operations because he wanted to give him a chance.

Yeah. He is the best sniper of all time. And that's going to piss off the internet because they're like, boom, what about the white dust? Seymour Haya. He's great. I'm not bashing on him. He's way better than I'll ever be.

He's fantastic. Carlos Hathcock's better. Yeah, that's like me. The wife had, they called me infantry soldier 118. I had no... I didn't get a cool Indian name. What the fuck? Homeboy.

He who shits in port-a-potty. He's got 94 confirmed kills in Vietnam. In Vietnam? In Vietnam, to get a confirmed kill at the point that he was in, it had to be seen by him his spotter and his commanding officer and he still got 94 confirmed kills however after about 40 confirmed kills hathcock comes to you and says i got three confirmed kills on that mission you just read it um it's going in a book yeah but the But the other issue, though, of that happening is there's investigations during Vietnam that had to be backed as well, like how they are now today, which was a huge pain in the ass.

Beginning of paperwork. And then that became the, okay, yeah, it's true. Just sign off on it. And then when, okay, no. So then when it started to have to get documented, people were like, no, it didn't happen then. No, it didn't happen then no it didn't happen so then like this casualty poll of vietnam which should have been like x is like up here is like actually down here because if it's not truly documented because people don't want to do the fucking paperwork right which is why like the further you go back in warfare the more like the casualty

count goes from like we don't know in between like to the thousandth person to the millionth person we're likewhere between like 38 and 56 million. Russian deaths are like 12 to 15 million. So there's just 3 million people. You just don't fucking know. It's not 12 to

13 million. It's 12 to like 50 million. When the man in front of you drops the rifle, you pick it up. To be honest, we didn't know they existed before the war. We're good now. That's my least favorite argument for World War II. Which one? Well, Russians won.

Yeah, everybody has their argument for why their country won. Obviously, the Allied side won. But everybody's got to be like, no, my country won more because XY, Y, Z. The Russian one is like, we shed more blood. I was like, that's not a good stat. Like look at our Katie. It's fucking shit. You're in the, you're this shit. Dude, you're in fucking wood.

Elo right now. Just bragging about your Katie. You are 30 million. What they were. Oh my God. How many, they killed what? How many Germans were lost during world war two? And, uh, 30 million what they were oh my god how many they killed what how many Germans were lost during World War 2 and Russian front

on the eastern front alone dude I don't know it's four two I think the overall accepted stats it's like 54 million total like during World War 2 right but a majority was worse

So the Katie's was a very not look it was like you're playing team deathmatch, right? Like yeah, okay our team won But you're at the bottom of the scoreboard with the KD like fucking point. Oh wait like oh we won like no That's not how this works. There's a modern warfare law Just screaming that they won and yelling retro slurs it's like man i don't know if you guys won they were in bronze rank all right let's be honest the germans had the best kd but i i will i will give that war to fucking germany all day long because they fucking they declared war on the world and it was close.

They did really good job. They went in, bro. They're a small. All right. Put that down. You don't start with the thing up. Yeah,

you're starting. No. Okay. Okay. Hey, Eli. Huh? You ever just want to feel better than all of our viewers, everybody who listens?

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Is it? Over at Established Titles, it's a fun and novel way to preserve the natural woodlands of Scotland while helping global restoration efforts. Reforestation efforts. I can't read. It is a project based on historic Scottish customs where landowners are referred to as lords or lords and ladies in English. Title packs give you

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I love it. It makes a great last minute gift. We even have a couple packs that come with adjoining plots of land. So we could get one for you and me next to each other. So when we die, my foot can be... I can fit in one square foot. You can... That's so much you.

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Establishtitles.com slash unsub. Go get your 10% off today. Become a lord or a lady. Dude, the Soviet Union lost. Okay, I just realized I defeated my own argument because I was gonna say like, look at how fast they conquered all of France. Oh.

They spread themselves. If I could go back to any point in time and hear any conversation between any two people, it would be when Japan told Germany, oh, by the way, we attacked America. You fucking did what now? Yep. Yeah. That was probably, I think everybody, it's like the beginning of, what is that?

Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Like, widely regarded as a bad move. Just across the board. You shouldn't have happened. The alternate history of if Japan never fucking did that no matter what like Jesus fuck America let it happen

I gotta do the stat thing I've heard that one Germany lost 8 million Soviet Union lost 24 million that's a shit KD and that was two fronts on Germany, by the way. That's not real communism.

3-1K. They were at a 1-3 ratio of dying. Damn, son. Wait, what? Fucking Matthew. 1-3. Science. No, no. Think about it, because Germany was split between two fronts. They were fighting on the western and eastern front.

That's true. 4 million, let's just say, make a split. 4 million versus what, 20? 26. 24 million. That's 1 to 6, yeah. It's incalculable. However, play that map

on Call of Duty is cool. Dude, the chart looks crazy. Yeah, when you see those charts on just mass exodus of life. You're like, oh man, war is crazy, man. Germany during World War II really just had a bunch

of bad fucking tactical, like political decisions. Like, hey, let's piss off the US and Stalin. You saw, like, if they just never would have fucked with Stalin, fine. That's fucking wild.

United States is like one of the lowest. Oh yeah, we did go. We did 280,000 or 400,000. 280,000 or 400,000. If you just look at the fucking chart.

Soviet Union up there at the top. Soviet Union, Probably 200 something thousand To be fair we got into that or later Nisha I hear that argument all the time and my response to that is America always shows up late, but every time America shows up it is yeah We be fucking mom aka Great Britain looks at the kids your fucking dad's home you're in trouble now and then the war is over in well that works for World War one and two no World War two we showed up in what 41 gee wanna really really early 42 gee what we crushed it. Yeah. Well your Katie versus Against people who've never fucking heard of the internet

We use the moon I'm so mad at the news lately because all I've been getting on my news app is just articles insinuating that Russia wants to invade Alaska. What? It's the most absurd shit ever. I've never heard that. Newsweek did an article that was titled

roughly, this is what it was titled, Chinese and Russian warships spotted 100 miles off the coast of alaska cool cool you know what else is 55 miles off the coast of alaska fucking russia they went 45 miles in the other fucking direction and you're trying to play it off like world war three my brother in christ you understand where kamchatka then, like, you scroll to the very bottom of the article. Oh, we asked the Coast Guard, and they said, quote, they didn't violate any rules or norms. This is completely normal.

They've been here the whole damn time. I don't know what you guys know about the Coast Guard. Their entire job is to pretty much follow Russian warships and say, we fucking or not? That's all they do. Not going to fuck either. We just call it, tell someone else someone else tell the army till the Marine Corps Yeah

Everybody sleeps on the Coast Guard bro. They banged on one fucking submarine caught it on video And now they're the shit and then was like oh MSRT is the best Banged on that submarine really hard. He was so angry at that submarine. Yeah, his hand was hurt. I just love your comparison, though. It's like the whole thing is to pull up on Russia and say, like, follow them around. Like, oh, we fucking are not.

And their response is usually, I'm tired. Yeah. Not today, please. Bro, my conscription's almost over. Please don't. Russia would not do good in a war. No, like, the other thing is almost over. Please don't. Russia would not do good in a war against America. Weird. It's almost like we have data about how well Russia does

in a modern war. They don't do that good. The other thing is, I know you guys, this is fucking Texas. You guys are going to get mad. If I was the tactician involved in how to invade America, Alaska would be the last place that I decided to try first. They have the biggest

guns. They have the most guns. They have, literally, I checked, they have the highest percentage of gun ownership. But lowest population density. Most murders of women. They are the most violent. They are the most... Not just women.

They're the most violent state in America per capita. Period. By far. Yes, nothing changes when you invade. They beat out Chicago and Michigan. You understand that? For violence. They beat out Chicago. The state beats out Chicago?

No. They beat out Chicago or Illinois? They beat out Illinois. Oh, yes. Yeah. Like, I refuse to believe Alaska beats out Chicago. It's like they beat the Buccaneers. Everybody knows I'm talking about talk.

You get my point. You have such a way with words. Okay, yeah, I'm on board again. Let's go. That makes sense. That was it. That's the worst state to ever try to fucking invade. It's fucking giant.

You have everyone, and there's bears. It's cold as fuck. It's all the shit I wouldn't want. They have the highest percentage of gun ownership, but at the same time they have the highest oil-to-gun ratio So like strategically let's say you invade Alaska I doubt it's gonna go well But let's say it does then you have to go through Canada before why wouldn't they stop there? first of all

Alaska's already been invaded you know that right Why wouldn't first of all so Alaska Alaska? Invaded Okay Alaska's already been invaded you know that right well most people don't know this world war two yeah, yeah, okay? Invaded by the Japanese yo yeah three thousand Japanese Right that was like a really like yeah, America and Canadians repelled him because that was like a, I want to say I remember something about that and flamethrower usage was really heavy. I don't know about flamethrowers. Was that X Games, Matt?

I could be making this up right now. Didn't one of the pilots miss, and that's with the pilot that did something in Oregon, Portland, I want to say. It was a Japanese pilot that like shot up something or something happened. Oh, the only US civilian casualties that died were on the coast of Oregon. But that was a firebomb.

And then one Japanese soldier felt bad about it and came back to Oregon and gave his family a sword. Have you read that story? No, I haven't. One dude, like a Japanese dude, because he got off of the bombing run. I forget what happened.

I think what they were doing, and I could be totally, comment section is going to rip me apart, but what I. I think what they were doing is, and I could be totally, like, comment sections are going to rip me apart, but what I think it was, they were trying to take advantage of, like, wind currents across the Pacific,

and so they set up basically, like, you know, those, like, funeral things. Those lanterns. Yeah, they set that off to go, like, do incendiary runs, basically, on the west coast of the United States,

and we never reported on it because we didn't want them to know it was successful. But they were making it and it like blew up a family on a picnic. It only hit like one home. Yeah, those were the only US civilians to die in World War II on.

Wait, they used the little tea candle fire thing? I mean, they made bigger ones, but it was that concept, the paper lanterns and they'd let them go at this certain spot and there's this air current that travels very quickly from Japan to the west coast And these they were just releasing thousands and thousands of these paper lanterns hoping that it would reach the west coast meanwhile There's a were and the United States government suppressed it in the news and didn't tell anybody that way the Japanese didn't find out that

It was working. So they're like, oh shit. They're not making it. Let's abandon the product Okay, we lighted these candles and we waited for three weeks Making it let's abandon the product Meanwhile there's a wartime meteorologist who's just happy his job is Reporting on the candles Fuck them over and when actually landed in Japan no and like a few the lanterns landed home side for Japan Yeah like failed ones came back, and I think it was like two or three I don't know if that's the number I know a number came back and actually hit them and I was like If your hand was made of all of wood yes, it's kind of like the CSS Hunley if you guys ever like read into that Oh, that was the first ever combat submarine ever the Confederates built it

Was that where it's like the whiskey barrel that old iron on it? It was it was a straight-up like no It wasn't it wasn't an iron cloud Nick quickly corrected me of my stupid brain Brain it was a full-on steel like Like it was it was like seven dudes like uh paddle powered submarine and uh, Like it technically was the first submarine to ever in combat sink an enemy ship However, there were two that sank before that and then that one sank after it was done with its combat mission so you lost like combined total seven crews apiece 21 great what year was this uh 1864 i would say jesus christ do those people anything that's on that next frontier it's like a submarine and you're the first of the class it's like we're gonna find out how this works we're gonna make it work no you're the first of the class. It's like, we're going to find out how this works. We're going to make it work.

No, you're not. It's like, you're going to fucking die. Well, they technically succeeded. Come on. It's like,

it's the Marines every time. Well, it's like jumping out of a plane too. Like when you, like, I think about that. The first dude that jumped out of a plane, he had no idea how his body was going to stabilize in the air.

He's just, and they're just like throwing people out. And you're like, I got this. You jump jump out your body's just like fucking Flailing about yeah Poor private from fucking, Georgia Have you heard the story about the Gurkha's and Britain and the Being airborne do you guys know what Gurkhas are, right?

Yeah, the guys with the cool knives. The kukris, right? So the badasses. There was a... Real quick, I love how this started immediately with Cum and now we're in like deep history time. Yeah. It's my favorite thing ever.

I love this podcast. There's a story where... The turns we take. Gurkhas fight for the British military and they went to this unit of Gurkhas and they're like, we're looking for some guys to jump out of planes. And they were talking to like 200 Gurkhas

and only five dudes volunteered. And the British commander's like, what is happening? Like these guys are supposed to be badasses and don't fear anything. What's going on? So they pulled their commander up and they're like,

and he explained what it was. They didn't realize that they were going to get parachutes. So those five dudes volunteered to jump out without parachutes. Those are the hardest motherfuckers. It's like you got jumping out planes. Kevin makes sense. Kevin's retarded. Those guys just- they just go WHO WAS SIR? Everyone else is like What the fuuuu- Kevin makes sense, Kevin's retarded

They just got their Dear John letters It's like Oh no She's fucking Muhammad over there Here we go broskies Jesus Christ Dude that's fucking terrifying Hi Batty Do you like sex stuff? Here we go, broskies. Jesus Christ. That's fucking terrifying.

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Fluck. But that's the shit. When you like grew fucking, you're just jumping off a goddamn plane. You have no idea. You know, they didn't know the American army. There would be if 200 people, five of them, if they they're like you're jumping out of planes without any context and

there were no parachutes at the time there's probably five you know it they'd be like the thought process what's amazing what's amazing to me though is like when we were doing those fucking combat jumps in world war ii like paratrooper jumps over fucking Normandy, right? The plane had been around for less than Eli has been alive. The airplane has existed for less than that. That's fucking true and terrifying. It blows my mind. Military drives all innovation, pretty much, though.

That's true, yeah. Because they throw bodies at technology. That's a weird concept the parachute was at that time around for a few years no parachute parachutes predate planes okay now you have my attention why did we need parachutes i was gonna say it started with the dude jumping off the tower and no we didn't need him but like uh i i'm pretty sure it's like leonardo da vinci had sketches of the parachute parachute Well, I mean he also had stuff like of the no, but like I understand that but like no there were actual parachutes I don't know if it was fucking hot air balloons or what?

Well, because the idea of a lot of shit's been around for a long time Yeah, I was gonna say the idea and concept there and sketches This is gonna be useful eventually I drew a lot of shit when I was It's just like SpaceX versus Blue Origin on the re-landing rocket shit Yeah, where he's just like Elon Musk is like throwing a fit because Blue Origin like Jeff Bezos company was trying to patent the Re-landing rocket. He's like like Elon Musk is like throwing a fit because blue origin like Jeff Bezos company was trying to patent the re-landing rocket He's like yeah, no shit. We've had the idea of a re-landing rocket since Jules Verne

But if the problem is fucking figuring out how to do it retard Anybody any fucking four-year-old can draw it like that's pretty fucking easy the only reason like we have cars now is because of Ford because like the original patent trolls when automobiles were first coming out like some fucking patent troll before automobiles were a thing. He was like well we got carriages and we got these new electric motor things. I bet that's going to happen eventually. And he got

a patent for a carriage that was driven by a motor. He owned the patent to fucking cars. And then there was a period of like 20 years where every automobile had to pay a royalty

to this guy that owned this patent because he didn't figure out how to fucking do it. He just had the idea and did the paperwork for it. Because it was an electric motor? I think it was just a motor in general. It's like Tesla,

how Tesla got fucked out a lot of shit. You got, so how patent trolls, man, watching a Silicon Valley again, I forget how good Silicon Valley is. Thebo show yeah yeah when you re-watch it and how good they're so good at business and then just dumb shit everything leading up but patent trolls they

have a whole episode on patent trolls and those guys were just like yeah i found this song it was fucking close enough to all these songs that we're losing i just started fucking buying out old pat old songs and i'd sue the fuck out of cup any artists and everything and they'd settle uh because they didn't want to pay everything and go to court so that's how i made my money somebody uh somebody just did a video because i guess whoever owns the the uh san and gta san andreas theme song went and started copyright striking every YouTube video on YouTube that used their song for more than five seconds. And now they're there and they went for the revenue split. So there's like all these humongous videos that they're just now getting all the revenue for because they have to also back pay them. That's millions.

That is, yeah, millions. Like there was a guy that did a whole video on it, and they're rich now. Well, that's what they did. Copyright struck a nine-second jingle. Dude, Disney right now is... Because YouTube's not broken. Well, Disney's about to hit the 100-year cycle for Mickey. So that's where you have those weird laws because of 100 years.

Because wasn't it literally an act of Congress that stopped them from going into public domain? Yeah. Yeah, literally. Because a lot lot of songs you have old songs that's why you can use like beethoven all that old shit but when you had mickey coming up it's like oh yeah this is like 100 years old this is gonna go to public domain and disney's like no no no no no no no correctly if i'm wrong but i think it was 50 years last time it was at the 50 year mark was when it expired yeah and then they they extended it it was 50 years last time. It was at the 50-year mark was when it expired. And then they extended it.

It was literally an act of Congress. They put a bill forward that extended it to 100 or some shit like that. And 100 just happened. Yeah, that's what was just happening was the 100-year mark. Side note, old Disney movies. Whoa. Real good stuff. There's a lot of ratios.

Movies are the cartoons. Cartoons. And movies. real good stuff a lot of racial movies or cartoons cartoons and movies that they cancelled completely one of my favorites was the World War II Disney era dude with oh fucking Daffy Duck like you have Daffy Duck Nazi Donald Duck and you're like

go on and Cole Black in Seven D seven horse it was just like it was a it was an ethnic copy of snow white yeah but but my favorite joke in there was not the not the the racial jokes it was because it was during world war ii they had a they they hired a hitman on cold black and there was a car that was you know hitman whatever uh adult male 10 bucks or whatever half off japs free oh my god bro you're young you have you watched some of the old oh yeah okay they go hard yeah they go real hard you're like yeah cartoons they hit different in the 40s my favorite bit of trivia is that walt disney was at his peak during this time

he was not only alive he was running the goddamn company oh yeah and he was like oh yeah send it this is what we do now. And you're like, Walt Disney. Different time. God damn it. I like this whole podcast has literally just been, we're going to be very, very vulgar for the first five minutes. Now that it's just the boys, let's talk about history. Okay.

Now that it's just the boys. We're deep diving in. Nick, what lessons do we have to learn today? Dude, that fucking axe story got me. Wait, axe story? Axe story. Wait, which one are you talking about? Which one? Because I just had a kid

and I named him Cassius oh yes Eli is very curious why I named my son that Cassius because I was like oh the Cassius Clay thank you yeah but not the boxer there was someone else before that the guy that Muhammad Ali was named after

alright you have my attention he is the most gangster politician of all time Cassius Marcellus clay was a politician in the 1800s he was born on a plantation plantation owner's son in Kentucky grew up went to college decided that he did not like slavery at all went home read all of his family's went home freed all of his family's slaves to the cost of like it was like forty thousand dollars in value that he just in the in the day or a judge in the day adjusted for inflation I was trying to do the math it's like roughly two million ish yeah it's a lot for value

I'm nice Mazda SUV Jesus like half a truck Two million he releases he releases everybody and then he starts a newspaper and becomes a politician He starts his newspaper called I'd want to think it's either the True American or the True Patriot is the name of the newspaper. And he basically puts out information. That sounds like a white nationalist website. Now it does. Back then it was still pretty edgy.

So he starts pushing out like, we're going to free slaves. Obviously it's not very popular in Kentucky in the 1800s. He would have bombed his YouTube channel. Don't quote me on the ears. So he starts a newspaper, and he's getting all these death threats.

He ends up armoring, he puts metal sheeting at the front of the newspaper, has a bunch of guns loaded and ready to go. He has a cannon at the top of the stairs. Oh, he's a full-on baller. He's ready to get ambushed. And he's not expecting his employees to go. He has a cannon at the top of the stairs. Oh, he's a full-on baller. He's ready to get ambushed. He's not expecting his employees to fight. He has an emergency exit on the roof

for his employees, and he has the entire building rigged up and ready to explode. He's going solo dolo, bro. Dude's ready to fucking go about this. Who works here? He transitions completely into politics. Sir, this is an apple beast what are you doing here they try to assassinate him he kills the assassin and both of his friends with

a bowie knife the assassin and the assassin's friends are his own friends the assassin and his two buddies okay he's like boom oh i'm so hard right now okay and Nick I'm sorry the war gals I was taking over this door is way cooler now he's got a murder boner so he kills he kills the assassin continues running as a politician

he then solves most of his disagreements by duels and he's credited with winning the most duels in North American history. Then he goes on, he survives two more assassination attempts, killing the assassin each time, and then he actually is supposed to be

vice president for Abraham Lincoln. Abraham Lincoln doesn't take him because he's pushing Emancipation Proclamation to free the slaves way harder than Abrahamraham lincoln wanted to yeah okay so what this was his first run for president yes so he's actually the reason that abraham lincoln did it as early on as he did he straight up bullied him into having to do it earlier than he because abe lincoln was not actually very pro anti-slavery right he was

cassius marcellus clay is the reason that he did it though like he was he was his same party opposition he was he was running against abraham lincoln and his platform was freeing the slaves and it was popular enough that he had to do it to beat cassius clay so y'all motherfuckers over here are actually learning a shit in this podcast i like this other than cum ropes do we start with with Brandon's discount cum code and we end here? I need to make sure that's actually correct. I'm not 100% sure that's right.

That's actually like 10% off, 50% more. There you go. That's a good little slogan. That's why you make the big bucks, Nick. That's why I make the medium bucks. Dude, but stories like that where you make the big bucks, Nick. Why I make the medium bucks. Dude, but like stories like that where you have the idea of, have you guys read tweets from the 1800s? Or have you seen those Twitters?

Have I read tweets from the 1800s? No, you lied. Jesus Christ, I have not fucking read tweets from the 1800s. There's accounts about everything on these, and it's the most hilarious because it's like tweets if they existed at that time and you're like, oh, this is dope. It's like YouTube videos at that time. Cassius Clay would have like, how would his YouTube videos go during that segment? And how would it be like?

They'd probably be censored and demonetized. Yeah. Man challenged my honor. He's dead. So no. Number 14. He also. That's it. man challenged my honor he's dead so no number 14 hashtag 14 it's always like oh my god crazy story today guys and it cuts to like a three second boom

just like like wiping blood off your face yo vlog day number 38 yo i'm pissed at my family you know what i'm gonna do today fucking free them slaves let's Just like like wiping blood off your face. Yo vlog day number 38 Yo, I'm pissed at my family, you know what I'm gonna do today fucking free them slaves Let's go cash slave in the house. Hey hashtag free the slaves. Let's get this bitch rolling get that going on Twitter Cassius cuck is trending on Twitter Having a duel with the person who put Cassius Cuck is trending on Twitter what the fuck's this having a duel with the person that put Cassius Cuck he's just shooting him in the head that was the good old days

where you could just agree to shoot each other today we had YouTube boxing matches back in the day it was just YouTube duels and that YouTuber died right there and was just gone if we just have glocks or something it's like you want to do a duel oh we walk 15 bases and turn around and shoot with the glock yes all day long i feel like people would get a lot less upset yeah and there would be a very solid problem i'm not gonna be a keyboard warrior today

how worth it shut the up i watched there was a there was a dual key You just hit a key you just duel the person like yep Okay, we went extreme but like fist fight if there was a fist fight key not to go to duel What if there's a fist fight and a dual? Yeah, I mean I would do it still there's a couple people online i'd be like I still like trial Like you throw down the handkerchief or whatever the fuck Like fuck you tier one concealed. I think the Really fast Dual button and then you like really far Tearing had a troll that way you're just like mildly upsetting to me duel duel well next guy oh well i mean i guess i kind of disagree with that

just cleansing my uh disagreements from the internet you just watch that following the following account disappear one at a time it's like 448 446 i'm being shadow banned no you're just shooting all your followers. Those are your fans. They just don't like what you say sometimes. You said I didn't like the new cinematography. I had to kill that dude. Yeah, so get your shit straight, motherfuckers, or we'll duel you. One in chat, if you want to duel Brandon, we'll set it up.

Oh, God. Let's do it. Dang. Dude, that will go way better than boxing. Yeah. Kill people? Whoa, dude. Celebrity dueling?

Dude, celebrity dueling would be baller. I want it to be with bow and arrows. I don't... I think it'd be way cooler with bows. It would take forever. Do you have any idea how unskilled people are in Hollywood? Exactly. That's what we do. That... Oh, my God. You're onto something. Do you have anything? Yeah. How unskilled people are in Hollywood? Exactly. That's what we do.

Oh, my God. You're on to something. If we have, if you're looking at some of these YouTubers and you're like, okay, you put them in the middle of the Coliseum, a buzzer goes off. They have to sprint 100 yards apiece to their bow. I want to do a Rosie O'Donnell. And you have to get that she didn't spread 100 yards anywhere exactly it's getting that bow you know they're like frustrated trying to hit arrows i can't miss they're walking closer to like try to engage and it's just like recurve bows

they have no idea the only thing i thought of when you're talking about celebrities with this shit is Jennifer Lawrence dueling Harvey Weinstein. Bet you wish I didn't have to fucking learn with this. Fucking do the nose, bitch. Do the nose, bitch. Girl on fire ain't taking your shit no more. Ain't taking your dick no more. I'm going to go pee on that

we'll start the after show everyone thank you for coming to the unscribed podcast please follow Mr. Eli Double Tap Nico Ortiz Nick Fat Electrician and Brandon Herrera would you guys like to shout out anything

can I get a shout out to follow Donut Operator also come shout out anything oh can i get a shout out to follow uh donut operator also come come also these two like nico and you know okay after show bye love you if you want to watch the fucked up shit we're going to talk about on the after show please go to our patreon patreon.com slash is it unsubscribed patreon slash unsubscribed nick is gonna actually have sex with nico it's gonna be great yeah we're gonna touch this bp it's gonna be cool looking forward to that part get ready for hand career not trying to brag very strong i could i could probably squeeze cum from a stump We'll see you again

You won't know my