Unsubscribe Podcast - 83 - Family ft. The Fat Electrician & Nikko Ortiz

Episode Date: December 8, 2022

Unsubscribe Podcast Ep83 - Family ft. @the_fat_electrician & @NikkoOrtizzz OH LOOK BADDIE IS BACK!!! BUT ALSO HIS CAMERA FOOTAGE GOT RUINED BECAUSE ELI HATES HIM! MINI KEG MINI KEG MINI KEG MINI KEG M...INI KEG MINI KEG MINI KEG MINI KEG MINI KEG MINI KEG MINI KEG MINI KEG MINI KEG MINI KEG MINI KEG MINI KEG MINI KEG MINI KEG MINI KEG MINI KEG MINI KEG MINI KEG MINI KEG MINI KEG MINI KEG MINI KEG MINI KEG MINI KEG MINI KEG MINI KEG MINI KEG MINI KEG MINI KEG MINI KEG MINI KEG MINI KEG MINI KEG MINI KEG MINI KEG MINI KEG MINI KEG MINI KEG MINI KEG MINI KEG MINI KEG MINI KEG MINI KEG MINI KEG MINI KEG MINI KEG MINI KEG MINI KEG MINI KEG MINI KEG MINI KEG MINI KEG MINI KEG MINI KEG MINI KEG MINI KEG MINI KEG MINI KEG MINI KEG MINI KEG MINI KEG MINI KEG MINI KEG Thanks bye ------------------------------ CHECK OUT TODAYS VIDEO SPONSORS, GHOSTBED Right now GhostBed is offering 30% off everything if you use the code - UNSUBSCRIBE at checkout or visit https://www.ghostbed.com/pages/unsubscribe EXPRESS VPN Protect your online activity TODAY with the VPN rated #1 by Business Insider. Visit our exclusive link https://www.expressvpn.com/unsub and you can get an extra 3 months FREE on a one-year package. MYBOOKIE Head over to https://www.mybookie.ag/ now and you'll receive up-to-$200 on your first deposit. Just use promo code UNSUB to claim your deposit match! ------------------------------ OUR MERCH: https://www.bunkerbranding.com/pages/unsubscribe-podcast JOIN THE PATREON NOW: https://www.patreon.com/UnsubscribePodcast WE HAVE A SUBREDDIT??? https://www.reddit.com/r/UNSUBSCRIBEpodcast/ CHECK OUT https://outofregz.com/ CODE: UNSUB http://gfuel.com/discount/baddie CODE: BADDIE ------------------------------ WHERE TO LISTEN Spotify https://spoti.fi/2Ye8YOU Apple Podcasts https://apple.co/3cbqY4k Amazon https://amzn.to/2YbzQia Google Play https://bit.ly/2YcWmaD Stitcher https://bit.ly/3cbnY8o MORE LINKS! https://linktr.ee/UnsubscribePodCast ------------------------------ Follow the Cast of Unsubscribe -Baddie- @BaddieStreams https://www.twitch.tv/baddie https://twitter.com/BaddieStreams https://www.instagram.com/baddiestreams/ https://www.youtube.com/baddiestreams -DonutOperator- @Donut Operator @Operation Donut https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwkm_Wcyh0pc7UUmZZfL-6w https://www.instagram.com/donutoperator/ https://www.twitch.tv/DonutOperator https://twitter.com/DonutOperator -Eli_Doubletap- @EliDoubletap https://www.instagram.com/eli_doubletap/ https://www.twitch.tv/Eli_Doubletap https://twitter.com/Eli_Doubletap https://www.youtube.com/c/EliDoubletap ------------------------------ Edited by Fluck https://www.twitch.tv/fluck twitchcon 2022 reaction Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:36 Why is there a mini keg in here? That was you? Which one? I didn't do it. Purple. I'll do purple. We can do that. I have never liked you more than I do right now. We can't I'll do per we could do that We have never liked you more than I do right now. We can share the mini can one episode We just drink it Just like three beers each yeah, it's really not we have to finish that today
Starting point is 00:00:57 Are we just doing that before that's the podcast the one keg podcast feeling? You'll feel better. I think I'm okay. Well, you're going to feel better. All right, I'm on it. There you go. Fuck. Oh, God. What's up, fuckhead? This went from
Starting point is 00:01:14 this is going to be nice and short to this is going to get fucking aggressive. We were going to drink coffee. We were going to drink coffee. I like this is recording because it's's gonna show how We gotta pull it up into the frame I'm like
Starting point is 00:01:29 I'm hungover from last night But this is how you get unhungover You defeat it with alcohol I don't know what that's called It makes sense Let's do it around the expensive equipment It's not a razor you blew a fucking can up three four episodes ago i don't know how many episodes ago that was
Starting point is 00:01:53 when you popped the fucking the ranch water and it literally went everywhere yeah but that wasn't my fault i thought you were talking about uh chris when he blew the cup up on her brand yeah that was pretty fucking this table brand new day one fucking Chris blows Up a mug then baddies opening beer cans on the side of the fucking table. I was like guys it's new Is it good No, it's still Heineken It's Assumed I thought it was Heineken. Those are very different flavors. I saw a green cake. It was a Heineken cake. You just assumed.
Starting point is 00:02:26 It's a gender. It's a fucking gender. Well, let's just. It's a pee pee. I'm sticking out. Hold on. The little pee pee. Don't we got to still crack?
Starting point is 00:02:34 I don't know. I'm not. I don't know. The order operations. You crack. Just start while you're pumping it. This is so foamy. Is the podcast starting right now?
Starting point is 00:02:42 Yeah. It's on. It's been on. They're going to get this entire intro of us switching from just coffee, water to... This is pure foam. Who wants the most head they've ever had in their life? Here, Nico. You get a cup of foam.
Starting point is 00:02:53 I don't know what shit Marines don't say. Say hi to Eli. He's racially ambiguous and batty. That guy's fucking ridiculous and don't hurt it's harder to rhyme but he's a really nice guy welcome to unsubscribe
Starting point is 00:03:13 hey guys thanks for watching unsubscribe podcast um make sure wherever you're listening or watching whether it's on youtube uh castro spotify apple google amazon podbean stitcher or that's all of them please leave a comment uh like it Castro, Spotify, Apple, Google, Amazon, Podbean, Stitcher, or... That's all of them.
Starting point is 00:03:27 Please leave a comment, like it, thumbs up it, give it a rating of five stars, whatever you can do. It helps the podcast out immensely. And Donut and Eli will be very happy if you do that. And we want to make Donut and Eli happy today. Yeah, five stars on everything. And a comment if there is possible, because we need to be at the top Don't it say something motivating and that's where the you come that is come subscribe. Oh great great
Starting point is 00:03:55 It's great. Let me get that here's this is not a new table is the lightest beer. I've ever had in my life It's all phone. What do you want to get? It's getting heavy get it get a bigger cup and just get all the foam Oh, I saw some actually I see beer in this one No this one's for me Never mind you get this one. I can't that's true. I can't this is I'm just letting it dribble. It's fine Wait, what the god? Not a god, but Here's the towel baddie guys. This is why you shake your dick after you're done peeing.
Starting point is 00:04:25 Otherwise, you dribble everywhere. More fun that way. Bro, that's like what my fuck. Shaking or dribbling. You ever get drunk off craft beer at a brewery? No, I don't drink shit craft beer. I hate craft beer. Baddie, you don't hate it.
Starting point is 00:04:36 It kills you. There's a big difference. Baddie's like, I hate it. You're allergic to it. There's a stark difference between hating and it kills you no never mind i like craft beers just because i feel like i feel like anybody's willing to pay nine dollars for a beer it's safer yeah he's like let me put it on the edge of the table now you're more expensive it was foamy but now i want it more foamy we just set up this entire
Starting point is 00:05:00 sick podcast but fuck this place yeah Yeah, I think Nick just left. Our guest is gone. Did you just pour out my foam? Dude, what a dickhead. Oh. You gave me a Dos Equis mini keg. I'm going to call it Heineken. It's Heineken now.
Starting point is 00:05:19 I don't give a fuck. No, he poured it out because it's Heineken. This is Vin Diesel's brand of beer right here. Triple X, homie. That's because this is not he pointed out This is Vin Diesel's brand of beer right here triple X homie This is that's three. I just my lore is bad. He doesn't speak Spanish so He just read very good mine is Learn Mexico like a yeah Dude, what the fuck is hot so warm quattro beer. We were talking about that earlier, dude Yeah, I told him I was like I was like we woke up and I was like, I don't think I'm hungover
Starting point is 00:06:03 Was hot and I was like I'm starting to feel hungover, though. I really feel like shit right now. Maybe I am hungover. I don't know anymore. Hungover dehydration or regular dehydration because it's 75 fucking degrees in here. Hey, everyone. Welcome to the Unscratch Podcast. Eli just left, but as always, it's me, Baddie Streams, Eli Delgert.
Starting point is 00:06:22 We have our two beautiful guests, the Fat Electrician and Nico Ortiz. Yeah. I put a little spice on that. I like it. Nico! Is that better? I'll just do it like that. Do you want back to the coffee?
Starting point is 00:06:37 You already done with the foam? Dude, it's a mix. I want coffee. It's pretty early in the morning. I haven't had coffee. Eli was kind enough to get me these dope ass fucking mugs Where did you buy these at? Do you think I you think I bought those I went I went into the video game that they Come from where what game does it come from bro? It looks like you know stop what game man? We're gonna play
Starting point is 00:06:58 Oh my god mother Fair actually Oh my god. To be fair, this is in Angry Birds. To be fair, I'm going to give it to him. I can't get mad, other than the color palette's a little different. But that's really close. I'm surprised.
Starting point is 00:07:14 It's because we were playing Angry Birds mode at Top Dog last night. That was fun. I liked that one. That one was great. I never played that one before. Seriously though, it looks like you bought this fucking thing from the island and misfit toys. Why is it square? Minecraft, motherfuckers.
Starting point is 00:07:30 Can y'all never play Minecraft? Drink a hot liquid out of a fucking square? Okay, it looks nothing like the TNT from Angry Birds. Not even close. 100% not. I got you. Yeah, not even close. I thought maybe it was that reddish.
Starting point is 00:07:41 It's not even a little bit. You can't take it out. It's a box top, actually. And it's wood. It's wood It's wood. Yeah, never mind. You're fucking idiot. You're an idiot We use that Mario But you play Mario when is Mario Yes How old are you? Guess. 28.
Starting point is 00:08:05 No, that's me. You're 26. I just turned 27. Oh my God. On the 15th. I could be your dad. Are you like 30? You want to be my dad?
Starting point is 00:08:16 I don't know, but I'll be your dad. You're my stepdaddy. You're stepdaddy, Batty. Batty, are you 32? Yeah. I could be your dad. Your son is, you had him at five years old, you 32? Yeah. I could be your dad. Your son is you. You had him at five years old.
Starting point is 00:08:27 You fucking weirdo. Your balls had sperm. Yeah. My balls are super potent. X came to my house. He can do it. Batty at five is smashing out 18 year olds. Is that what's up, bitches?
Starting point is 00:08:41 I've been fucking since I was little, bro. Let's go. Those diapers were for me. That's highly illegal. It's a cool story for bad. Very illegal, though. Dude, baby dick bad. That's what they still call me.
Starting point is 00:08:59 Wait, here's something. This is something weird I found out that a lot of people don't know. Uh-oh. How tall did you think I was before you met me? I always thought you were probably. I actually thought you were shorter. I thought you were shorter. I didn't.
Starting point is 00:09:13 I thought he was going to be like 5'10". Dude. Hey, y'all got demons, but I ain't sleeping here. That ice machine is getting mouthy over there. For those of you that don't know, Niko is 6'9". He's actually sitting on a five-gallon bucket, and I'm in a high chair. It's alarming. No, I thought you were a tall guy, to be honest, like my height-ish.
Starting point is 00:09:36 Yeah, dude, everybody, including, like, all these web forums now, are like, Niko Ortiz, TikToker YouTuber, 5'6"- five six to five eight and i'm like where the fuck bro you film half your content in the kitchen with counters and shit this shows you how tall you are you've been through door frames how do people not like no no you know what it is they're like look at like some of the reaction content well you're sitting down and like the background looks so big so we just thought you were like and then my community is fucks with everybody because people like how tall is nico like he's he's five four he's five four and stuff and everybody says that shit and now it's all over the website i'm like god damn it do unsub because everyone was like now i get
Starting point is 00:10:19 wow you're taller in person because everyone like us we always play i'm super short so people think i'm like 4 11 on a good day so when they meet me and i encourage it so bad yeah weird you're taller i was like you know shit i sit on the same yes it's a high chair but i'm on the same eyeline as my friends you're right i have a butt pad that lifts me up a little bit but doesn't matter well because before it was everyone thought i was taller because I was around fucking all the tall guys Matt fucking rock It didn't matter. I was just surrounded by six foot two to six with six people So then and I'm in the photos, which you can clearly see the stark fucking difference Yeah, they're holding Eli like, sup bros? It's your boy. Like a little dog. It's your boy, Eli.
Starting point is 00:11:08 Double tap. This is when I knew you were like shorter. Because I thought you were like 5'5", 10", 5'11". Damn. Yeah. You think he's running the pumps. You give me like two inches. Yeah, but then on the old unsubbed, you were talking shit to Maddie. Maddie was like, hey Eli, touch the ceiling. You give me like two inches
Starting point is 00:11:28 You were talking shit about anybody's like hey Eli touch the ceiling Most people go for a bolted feeling bad he was like what's reverse vaulted it just comes down hobbit home hobbington it was cozy you know but no uh demo has demo finally it changed for the longest time with everything. So when you search Demo's height, it was 6'9". No, 6'7". 6'7", yeah. He was just a tall motherfucker, and we were all like, and it would be the internet everywhere, and it was for years this was happening.
Starting point is 00:12:15 He was like, I don't know where it started, and then that's all it was. So then when people would meet him, they're like, huh, I thought you were 6'7". He's like, no, why am I 6'7"? When did I say that? When did I address this you would google and it'd be like demolition Matt's height six seven you like I Got everyone. I got tall. How tall is he I got the same thing with the fat electrician deal
Starting point is 00:12:37 What I said, you're not bad enough to be called the battle. I've trained you're like the I See you're not a fat guy. Yeah, you're a fit. Yeah. Fit, not fat. The thick electrician is way better. It's the thick with two C's electrician.
Starting point is 00:12:52 No, three C's all capitalized. Whoa, no, no, no. Are you a 2X? Are you a 2X? Are you a 3X? You're a 1X? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:00 He's only thick with one C. You got it. Samsung Vision AI televisions transform screens into intelligent solutions. From the shows that make us laugh to those that make us cry. Now, your TV knows you more than ever. Whether it's reviving old memories with AI upscaling or seamless hands-free control with universal gestures. This isn't just television. It's a whole new vision.
Starting point is 00:13:24 Because it isn't just about what's on. It's about who's watching. Learn more about Samsung Vision AI televisions at Samsung.com. Dude, the thick electrician is so much better. Sorry. You get extra C's the more X's you wear. You have three X's, you're thick with three X's. Three C's, you know?
Starting point is 00:13:41 Batty, you're at one C right now. Yeah, I am. Dude, Batty was a triple I can't use the dryer. I have to hang dry all my clothes Use fucking bedding like on the setting is like where you Try your shirt and then you wear it and you just see the little nipples all over your shirt Oh, you're like trying to stretch it out Yeah, totally know what you guys are talking about touch the ceiling. This is a lot taller, Matty. This ceiling's way taller. Look how tall those lights are. Eli, did you turn the heat down in here?
Starting point is 00:14:29 I did. I turned it down. Turn it way down. It's a 60. The fucking air's not even on. It's hot as fuck. It is. I'm like, I'm going to pass out. You're kidding.
Starting point is 00:14:38 It's 77. For those of you that don't know, me and Nico have been here for a while. It got hotter. It was fucking 75 earlier, and we put it down to 68, and it's fucking... No, we put it on 69. It's broken. We, uh... I just want to go to this AC.
Starting point is 00:14:53 Me and Nico have been here for days. Fucking cool. They drugged us and gave us too much alcohol, turned the fucking thermostat to 75. Yeah. Made us film a seven-hour podcast where we said stuff we didn't mean because we were drugged. This stupid fucker.
Starting point is 00:15:07 77. 77. 77 is bad. It is. It's super bad. And I don't know why. Look at that color. Look at that clear color. That's way better. Nico, where you at?
Starting point is 00:15:20 Let's go. Let's go, boys. I need more. The most is podcast 30 minutes of talking 30 minutes of filling dose a keys up Double X. Oh my god I can't wait for flock to edit a photo of Vin Diesel as triple X as The double X just to see how fucked up you like skinny like never Captain America before he got buff I want to see that but with Vin Diesel's fucking face Well, this is feeling
Starting point is 00:15:55 I just dropped that I was like it was colder colder just put I know I feel like flock is gonna edit all of us bald And look like Vin Diesel is just gonna say family family Family look at a camera and look like Vin Diesel is just going to say family. Family. Family. Look at a camera. Perfect. Now you can edit us all bald.
Starting point is 00:16:13 Oh, I don't like that. Oh my God. I wonder what you look like bald. Fucking terrible. Fucking, I remember basic. I was a basic training. I shaved my head the day before, just before I left. I was like, oh, I got to see what this looks like. I just buzz cut. I was like I gotta see what this looks like Surgery Eli involved, bro. Oh, yeah, I had dude my fucking ears
Starting point is 00:16:41 They were like fucking bro out there, bro. and I did that gaming video and I saw your fucking New windy cold days With with how much you talk about like skydiving and stuff now that you're into it I really wish that you would have got into skydiving before the surgery I would have got into it after cuz you'd have to relearn everything a thousand jumps. They're like a thousand jumps Eli doesn't need a parachute. I just go I've been just training with my ear dynamic Land I just I up kick her right at the end of my body. I just walk it out Dude yeah, I have wait. I might actually have surgery
Starting point is 00:17:29 Yeah, go back 18 years once a surgery Right when I was getting the History Channel Show because they were like yo you're gonna be on the History Channel No, I was like I'm gonna be on national TV, and they're like yeah, and I was like I know what I'm doing first click click click click I ain't going on Apple gun Just bleeding blood Welcome to history
Starting point is 00:17:55 I double down It hurts so bad Where the fuck I saved him Just fucking Google Eli 15 Ely Range 15 Eli is all you need watch I'm gonna find out where he gets I saved him just fucking Google Range 15 Eli's all you need watch. I'm gonna find it where he can know I was gonna show the surgery pics because I was awake During you oh yeah, we got your awake during it man look at all these I wasn't yeah Whoa dude, I'm talking during that like there's a
Starting point is 00:18:29 They fold the fucking you either made your vagina dude It looks like a jam in there But no they do local so you're like that and then they just fold the cartilage they do everything and I'm like oh like, oh, man, that's crazy. And then we're just talking. Like, so what are you doing? Blah, blah, blah. I was like, oh, you know, living the dream life. And nothing. This year, though, they cut in.
Starting point is 00:18:56 They cut in this year and they were working on it. This is my last year. And then I remember the worst, the worst fucking pain ever because I felt like the local wore off. And I just felt like a razor go like this down my ears. like first it was a small stitch i was like is it just cold i didn't like no i was like ah that's a weird feeling i haven't felt anything and then the next cut goes and i was like oh and i was like hey i can feel all of that and they're like oh my god i am wait you felt i was like 100 you just cut like really down into whatever you cut. And they're like, oh, we are so sorry.
Starting point is 00:19:27 Like local, local, local. Two hours later, getting my food. And then the local wore off. And then that was the worst pain. Daddy, are you just eating a donut? No. That's symbolic because he's not here today. We miss it in memory.
Starting point is 00:19:53 We remember. Oh, my God. today we remember oh my god what the fuck is with this fucking ac you gotta fix it not at all it is a little over here it is a little bit fuck you guys it is right here like we're feeling it i'm just amazed at how fucking i'm sweating yeah same and this says losing weight hell. Yeah, bro, dude. Yeah It says 67 degrees cooling tube is 77 degrees, right? The AC might have issues right now god damn it baddie Why is it when you're coming here that your fucking house AC follows you here. Legit. That's 100%. You have ghosts. I said demons, but I was just saying. Baddy ghosts.
Starting point is 00:20:29 You've got like a haunted nose ring or some bullshit that makes me sweat. When are you getting a nose ring? Do you go? But you don't have, I don't think I'm getting
Starting point is 00:20:37 a nose ring. I'm never getting a nose ring. Never getting a nose ring. Maybe. I know. That's why I was like, he, am I the only one without piercings here well never mind I had huge ears I wasn't going to draw
Starting point is 00:20:52 attraction to it and put lanterns on those bitches but you can now yes at 38 I should be getting earrings that doesn't scream anything at all I just show up to the come on you're 38 yeah notice anything That doesn't scream anything at all. I just show up to the door. Come on. Come on.
Starting point is 00:21:05 You're 38. Hey, people. Yeah. Notice anything different? New? Feel fucking stupid. No, but if you don't do it, you stay old. Yeah, I am old, motherfuckers. If you do do it, you get a little bit of youth back.
Starting point is 00:21:22 You're 38? Yeah. I didn't know that. That's fantastic. His height is deceiving, right? Yeah. Did you say that's disgusting? You get a little Yeah, I didn't know that Did you say that's disgusting no I said We finally actually do play D&D and record it, you're going to be Graybush the Wise. Hello. I'm Graybush the Wise. You had to start this. You had to start this fucking.
Starting point is 00:21:50 You have created my new character. I hate. He hates this voice. I'd be like, my name is Graybush the Wise. This is my sex slave, Batty. The Batty. Batty the Batty. Batty, will you accompany on my journey? Don't forget my prune juice. This is worse than the boop.
Starting point is 00:22:14 I hope you know that. I was just going to ask. This is so much worse. The boop probably smelled better. Batty, remember that time I was searching for hot anime dolphins? And I was searching for hot anime dolphins and I was super embarrassed. I hate when I'm online searching up hot anime dolphins. Me too.
Starting point is 00:22:32 It's the most embarrassing thing. You know what? Sometimes you're like, just use incognito mode. I always use incognito mode. That's safe, right? Then tell the government knocks on your door.
Starting point is 00:22:42 Trust me. They can hold up that animated dolphin. You're trying to not turn your pants into shorts. And that's why I use ExpressVPN. It doesn't matter who your internet service provider is. That's ISP. In the U.S., can legally tell your information to ad companies. They can sell everything you have, even on incognito mode. That's stupid. They know. They're listening.
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Starting point is 00:23:39 It's so easy to use. All you have to do is tap one button and you're protected. ExpressVPN is available on all your devices phones computers or even your smart it's actually kind of helpful because i actually have used it it is like it's a chrome extension you just boop it's just like any of your like uh how you have ad block or anything like that you can just turn it on or just never shut it off because i know you're a bunch of d gens looking up anime waifu dolphins i can't wait till that's a shirt that's a shirt now anime waifu dolphins with the little i hate it i hate it so much but hey now you can safely uh search
Starting point is 00:24:11 the internet uh surf the web look up your disgusting disgusting dolphins that's right protect your online activity today with VPN rated number one by Business Insider. Visit your exclusive leak, expressvpn.com slash unsub, and you can get your extra three months free on a one-year package. That's expressvpn.com slash unsub. Expressvpn.com slash unsub to learn more. You're cut off. Get your dolphins today.
Starting point is 00:24:46 Good. Where's my Metamucil at? Karen! We're on a mission! Karen's dead! Where am I? I'm just old. I want to play a campaign where I
Starting point is 00:25:01 can't remember. How old were you at basic training? 32. No, I was 19. What year? 1995. January. You were in middle school?
Starting point is 00:25:14 You were at ACU then. No, it was BDU's. You were rocking the Lord's flannel? That's it. The Lord's flannel. That's what we were discussing. That was the shirt. Boom.
Starting point is 00:25:22 That's trademarked. Is it? By me. For sure. 100% when I said it on camera first. Guys. Fuck. That's what we were discussing that was the shirt boom that's trademarked is it by me 100% when I said it on camera It's just a camo shirt this is Lord's camo Now you got both you know you can have Lord's cam all rock lords flannel see who sells more shirts From life shirt yeah, it's out in the car. I forgot to grab it the comments on Facebook are great people are super happy wait Wait Facebook's ask do we check our Facebook bro my wife my is like, they're getting some fucking heat in the comments section.
Starting point is 00:26:07 Oh, we don't even check. We don't have a Facebook. Well, I mean, it literally says, you're like, y'all irrelevant. We don't even check our comments. It literally says, life unsubscribed. I mean, I'm not saying you guys are saying that. I'm saying that it's open to interpretation.
Starting point is 00:26:24 I don't know. My wife was like, I just saw it on Facebook, and people are upset. I'll tell people that right now. Look into the camera. Oh, my God. Life, unsubscribe. Wait. No, now I got to find this on Bunker everything.
Starting point is 00:26:40 I don't know. It's like everything goes up in the ether, and then I have no idea. Okay. I hope it did good. I love't know. It's like everything goes up in the ether and then I have no idea. I hope it did good. I love that shirt. That is my favorite shirt we've ever done. What's better than a well-marbled ribeye sizzling on the barbecue? A well-marbled ribeye sizzling on the barbecue that was carefully selected by an Instacart shopper and delivered to your door. A well-marbled ribeye you ordered without even leaving the kiddie pool.
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Starting point is 00:27:25 Yeah. I like the cum shirt. Doom font. That's great. Yeah, dude, it's the doom font, but it just says cum. What says cum and below it says subscribe. Yeah, it's the doom font. It just says cum. Subscribe. It just says cum. C-U-M
Starting point is 00:27:41 and doom font. Subscribe. Okay. That's hot. Just aggressive doom font. And that was our number one selling shirt. Still, we did not expect that. That's a good shirt. Yeah. A lot of people like to wear it out in public. The amount of people that tag us in photos.
Starting point is 00:27:55 Look, I found a guy with a club subscribe shirt. I'm like, why are you wearing that? Look what I'm wearing. To a Grand Canyon. Family pictures. Family pictures. Well, they have that concert. Sorry, this is a Denny's like what are you doing? They they have the concert people now that are going like that one band that always wears the cum and then they have the audience
Starting point is 00:28:19 Shouting come come come and the guy standing there in his shirt. They're just like Yeah, he's Australian. They're on Australian. Yeah, they're Australian here over the name But yeah during their shows here like shouting come and the drummer was like standing with the club and again come Again y'all right there. Yeah, there's people like please send in your cum photos. No don't why I want to put them up on this In their defense, it's all they've got never mind Do it do it it just loads on a table. I'm like oh, I don't want to know about your come box He's like no did you're now in charge of the Twitter Twitter and Instagram. Because I'm done checking those. Are we talking about Twitter? Oh, man. Twitter's a good fucking time right now. I'm the worst tweeter person ever.
Starting point is 00:29:13 I don't use Twitter at all. I'm very, like, once a month, I might. I live on Twitter. I don't even have a Twitter, but I love reading screenshots. How do you not have a Twitter? How do you not use Twitter? I hate Twitter. Does it look like a fucking read
Starting point is 00:29:26 shit? Yeah, exactly. Dude. No pictures? Out. There's lots of pictures. Instagram was a hard sell without pop-ups for me. Oh, you're good. Right there. Stop fucking everything up, Nico.
Starting point is 00:29:40 I can tell, Nico, their baseline isn't equal. Tism's going off. Yeah, my Tism's going off. Yeah, my tism's going off. It's fucking driving me crazy because then that camera is going to have one of you blurry and one of you not blurry because you're not on the same focal length. Whoa. You see Daddy Eli just get mad and I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:29:59 Nico's got scolded. Everyone. Go to your room. It's going both of them. You're having fucking air for dinner I am the dad in this group unfortunately I'm old as fuck you are oh, that's what the show a show you all need to watch now Peripheral now have you heard of it? I've heard of vision huh like the vision
Starting point is 00:30:24 No Huh like the vision No, no, this is like a peripheral equipment. Oh Have kids no, how do you catch all these dad jokes? Fucker couldn't catch a cold in Alaska and you catch every single one of them I hate dad jokes so much. So every time you say what I'm like, I have two kids I just had another one like I can't help it to get worse. My kid doesn't understand dad jokes. Why? He's like, father, I do not get this. It's lost on his intelligence.
Starting point is 00:31:00 It's like, I do not care about this, daddy. The bird's caliva is. Yes. Like, how many is a thousand hours? He's like, three days not care about this, daddy. The bird's caliva is. Yes, 2000. Like how many is a thousand hours? He's like three days, 14 hours and 60 months, which I loved it. Brandon, that one day I was just asking riding time. I was like thousand hours. I was like, ask him hours in a year or whatever.
Starting point is 00:31:16 He's going to tell you to a team. That was like every fucking like, it's like how many hours are in a hundred years? 14,300. And you're like, what? And Brandon's on his phone like doing the math. He's like how many hours are in a hundred years? 14,300 And Brandon's on his phone Doing the math Yeah Brandon was like what the fuck I was like I don't know How his brain works
Starting point is 00:31:34 He was getting the number faster than Brandon Punching the calculation Slow down It was wild And he's learning heights of buildings now And you're like, why? What the fuck? It's like, hey, Statue of Liberty is like 315 feet.
Starting point is 00:31:50 Dude. He's gonna become like the world's greatest architect. He's got numbers and fucking heights of shit down there. Or... Or... Yeah. He could be an assassin. That's why I just play rock metal and beat his shins with metal pipes
Starting point is 00:32:07 Just like right in, become a killer Just smacking his shins with wood For advertising purposes that was a joke Ben Affleck taught me Yeah Ben Affleck Affleck Matt Damon
Starting point is 00:32:24 Matt Damon Matt Damon What were you saying, buddy? Have you ever heard of my bookie.com? I don't know if you're a fan of sports bets, UFC betting, UFC. I know. Wait,
Starting point is 00:32:42 do you watch UFC? I watch UFC and boxing. Do you ever bet on those UFC fights? I might have one or two times. Have you bet on? Well, is it just UFC? It's everything, right? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:54 Is it everything? Oh, yeah. Everything. Everything. Trying to think. Wait, what was the two fights? We had the Patty one. Oh, what's his name?
Starting point is 00:33:04 Just knocked out because that's a good one. I can, that's an actually. You mean Royce, Royce Gracie and Tank Abbott? If you bet on that fight in 1991, you would have won. What, what, uh, Conor McGregor and Anderson Silva. I don't think they fought. They're completely different weight classes. What about those other two guys?
Starting point is 00:33:27 Sean the Sharkman Shirk and BJ Penn. I thought you made up somebody's name. No, those are real people. Those are real people. I thought you were just like Sean the Sharkman Shirk with Billy the Bebop
Starting point is 00:33:44 Bo Baskins. Those are both. I'm pretty sure they fought. No, a bet on Usman versus Edwards. That would have been a giant payday because Edwards was the underdog, and he was going to lose. So if you had him on a knockout in the last round. You would have won a whole bunch of money.
Starting point is 00:34:02 A metric ton. Caught my verbiage right there beep it anyways but if you're big on betting the first 200 is freeze if you freeze bad you go for it just join my bookie now and you'll receive up to 200 uh cash for your first deposit just use promo code unsub to claim your deposit match a little match your first $20 oh no doubt yeah that's pretty gangster just like betting and if you're still on the fence about who to back this weekend check my bookie social channels for real predictions uh for your favorite ufc fights and fighters boom bet anytime, anywhere with my bookie. Head over there and use code unsub.
Starting point is 00:34:47 I'll match you 200 bucks. 200 free dollars. It's free. It's freaking free. You get 200 freaking dollars. Join my booking now and you'll receive $200 cash on your first deposit. Just use promo code unsub to claim your deposit match at HTTPS double dots line line www.mybookie.ag slash go now pan to his face love you peripheral good fucking show holy shit on amazon haven't heard of it that was the one that was
Starting point is 00:35:26 like hey uh babe check this out it's like really highly rated fucking it's vr it's like every time you put your hands up now i think you're doing this shit you could be pointing at something and just imagine you doing this i do it now like i'll be at my desk and i'll be like yeah guys you just totally at home you're not doing anything, and then you're just, like, watching TV and you're... No, no, it's always when I'm talking about Eli, or I'm like, man, this is fucking... It's contagious.
Starting point is 00:35:59 I caught his tism. Tism. It's the tism touch, man. Damn. It's contagious. Oh my god. Tism. It's contagious. Don't touch me. I don't want to catch anything. Put your mask on.
Starting point is 00:36:18 I don't want to catch anything. Oh shit. It's way too early to be drinking. I know. Is it though? Is it? We brought a keg. Well, I'm getting on a plane today, so I need this.
Starting point is 00:36:30 I know. You guys are all going. I can't wait to get on my plane. I'm not. With Sun Country. I thought it was good. I did research beforehand. Sun Country?
Starting point is 00:36:39 Have you heard what he did to me? Bet he was great. I paid $39 extra for the seat with extra leg room And there was nobody Sitting next to me And I was like This is gonna be the dopest flight ever This is the first time This is gonna be the first time I've ever been on a flight
Starting point is 00:36:49 Where it was me And nobody Like every other flight I've ever been on I'm in the middle With two dudes bigger than me It was like This is gonna be dope
Starting point is 00:36:57 They're like The cabin is now pressurized I look up There's no TV on the headlight There's a seat in front of me I was like Okay I have my phone And I have wifi
Starting point is 00:37:04 No fucking wifi Three hour flight Just TV on the headlight the seat in front of me I was like okay I have my phone and I have Wi-Fi no fucking Wi-Fi just you know like a game on your phone you can like know he deleted I can only I can only play risk against the computer so many fucking times I got so bored I started deleting old pictures and screenshots 1.7 gigs of fucking pictures I deleted over a three hour flight. Side country. He played half a game in the Monopoly.
Starting point is 00:37:32 What? You fly in Southwest? Hell no. I don't know. I'm sorry. I did American and then I spent some money on you and then
Starting point is 00:37:45 no he got it himself I bought my own shit fuck me yeah you deserve some country nevermind Eli's like I'm gonna send you
Starting point is 00:37:52 an Uber as a fucking covered wagon it's a bunch of fucking pilgrims I did smoke signals to the Amish
Starting point is 00:38:00 the Amish got the smoke signals Roden picked him up for those of you that don't know I'm actually a full time member of the unsubscribed The homage got the smoke signals, wrote it, picked him up. Please smoke cigarettes when you pick him up. For those of you that don't know, I'm actually a full-time member of the Unsubscribed Podcast.
Starting point is 00:38:10 They just only pick me up via a fucking covered wagon. I have a three-week journey here and back, so that's why I'm only here every other month. You journey back home just crossing the Mississippi on your a trail.
Starting point is 00:38:25 Man, I hope Nick doesn't die of dysentery. Fucking rattlesnakes. He's on family three. Buffalo hunting. Sorry, cholera. Cholera? Family three for Nick. For fuck's sake.
Starting point is 00:38:41 You're literally playing War Gun Trail every time you come out here. That's great. Love it. I didn't know. I did the research. No, you didn't. Yeah, I did because he was at first. How did you not know? How the fuck? Why would I fly to fucking Iowa?
Starting point is 00:38:53 How did you not? Have you not heard of Sun Country before? No. That's your first time? You ain't heard of it? Don't take it. Let me ask you a question. You ever buy a gun that you've never heard of, like the brand name?
Starting point is 00:39:03 Have you ever heard of Staccato? You ever walk into the gun? Yeah, I have. Before, did you because did you hear i've known about it for years oh okay yeah if you haven't heard of an airline it's probably not great well when i read it and googled it they said really good that's the only reason because i did first i was like fucking reddit for advice that was a troll comment it was google and reddit i literally was like because my it looked shady i was like i feel like it could have been a diamond in the rough it could have been a diamond in the point that i feel bad like everything about that flight was fantastic except no wi-fi and no tvs yes like it was just, it gave
Starting point is 00:39:46 me three hours to reflect on how great everything else was. You have to pay for a bigger seat. You have to unplug and just live life. Yeah. See, if you left a review, you'd be like, super happy. No Wi-Fi, no TV. Kind of suck. Everything was a really good experience
Starting point is 00:40:02 though. I should just shit on and be like, worst shit I've ever taken in my entire fucking life. I will really good experience though. I should just shit on and be like, worst shit I've ever taken in my fucking life. I will not be flying again. Man. Put some motherfucking technology on this bitch. I don't care what airline it is, it's always the worst shit
Starting point is 00:40:13 of your life if it's on a plane. I haven't pooped on a plane in a long time. God, it's the worst. I will make myself shit before I leave that airport. Dude, the whole time.
Starting point is 00:40:22 I'm too big. The whole time, don't poop on planes, man. It's hard enough peeing on a fucking plane because I pee like this. Oh, that cracks. Your neck just shattered. You were like, I'm paralyzed.
Starting point is 00:40:38 We're wheeling you around. Dude, but peeing on a plane like this and then like, god damn it, I'm like, can't wait to get out of here. And then you're done and you're like, god damn it. I love peeing on a plane. It's like a grand hall for me. Bathrooms when I walk in, it's like, it's this, it's this studio space when I walk in the bathroom, I'm like, ah, I jog to the urinals, the door closes. I get like self-conscious cause like Just like everybody everybody just everybody
Starting point is 00:41:20 Oh my gosh, and I need feel like you need look those beds comfy upstairs. Yeah, right Great you're right. That was your bed mattress. He has a very nice man. That's a great mattress. Okay You have an issue like like I don't know why I like like hard hardcore PTS, right? You just like I'm on the bed tonight. I'm on the floor, dude. I legit would just lay on the floor I'm so You the count to Monte Crisco you just can't find a fucking comfortable bed It's like me like man this dirt looks really nice. What was that reference? Kind of money you just you've never watched that? I have no idea what the fuck he's talking about. I know you did, you're not old enough.
Starting point is 00:42:08 You probably are an old dude. That's a fucking huge ass book. It's a book. The Count is on Sesame Street. I don't know what a Monte Cristo is. It's a... First off, a one, a two... It's like powdered sugar sandwich.
Starting point is 00:42:24 That was such an obscure reference. I'm impressed. One in chat if you're impressed. Chat. One in comments. One in comments. If you're impressed. I'm so used to chat still.
Starting point is 00:42:33 I'm like, hey, chat, what's up, motherfuckers? Dude, count on me. Monte Crisco, go home and watch it. First time I met you, you slept in the van. Oh, yeah. Dude. I was fucked up. That's we got taken out to salt lake city together and that was the first time i met him and the first night that he we slept in salt lake city
Starting point is 00:42:55 he like apparated in the morning and we're like hey what's up nikki it's a good just woke up in the van i was like why i left the house right what i don't even know what it was like two in the morning three in the morning i left the house and i was walking to the other house because my bedroom was there sitting in the fucking basement and then i was like yeah and i don't know why i saw the vans we were being transported i was like it would be funny if i slept in the back of that tonight i legit did you say that out loud to yourself? I like you like no one was around you like dude. This is hilarious And I was like is it open and then I like put my shit down I'm like oh
Starting point is 00:43:47 Cool, and then I ran inside grabbed a couch pillow and a blanket that was on the couch and i ran back outside and i was like the back looks terrible it's just metal in the back put a pillow there and i had to sleep in a ball because there wasn't enough room no you didn't have to you could have went inside so let's readjust the word have to that's a word you didn't have to use at all you could have slept inside so let's readjust the word have to that's a word you didn't have to use at all you could have slept the fuck inside when you realize you have to be in a ball leave dude no dude and i slept in there and i woke up and chris was like where were you this morning because they brought everybody breakfast and i was like in the back of the van yo i was like no he's like doing what and i I was like, I slept there last night. Nico's waiting all day for them to laugh about it.
Starting point is 00:44:27 He was like, I just sit in the back of my head like, man, I hope somebody comes and checks on me. Dude, this joke is going to hit so hard. It's funny now that I know you, but like only knowing you for 11 hours, you're like, bro, I slept in the van last night. I'm like, no, y'all are like, what are these pillows doing in here? They're like, what are these pillows doing? I was like, I slept in the van last night. My bad. I'll put them back in the house.
Starting point is 00:44:48 Because they're like, what the fuck? Silver, you're like, that wasn't funny. They go from your character online to meeting you to that. I was like, oh, he's retarded. Retarded. When I was out with Brandon last night, bro. Oh, God. Bro, tell me you didn't go to Little Woody's.
Starting point is 00:45:02 No, they went to a gay club. No, we actually did. I'm not did. We went to a different the dude Zeus Texas is like I'm gonna go into the gay club. It's a Sunday and I'm like Yeah, you can't be He forgot it Sunday, he's like I'm like yeah we're happy again bro I was in Vegas the last trip we went to a gay bar best fucking bar experience ever
Starting point is 00:45:52 gay bars are the best bars yeah there are very few things that you can be certain of in life but you can always be sure the sun will rise each morning you can bet your bottom dollar that you'll always need air to breathe and
Starting point is 00:46:05 water to drink. And of course you can rest assured that with public mobiles, 5g subscription phone plans, you'll pay the same thing every month with all of the mysteries that life has to offer. A few certainties can really go a long way. Subscribe today for the peace of mind you've been searching for public mobile.
Starting point is 00:46:23 Different is calling. Like nothing, nothing is even close. I had a lot of drinks while we were in Vegas, you know. Yeah, you know. Yeah, you know. I see your eyebrow. No. Dude, I was walking
Starting point is 00:46:41 You know. God damn it. Stop it, you're putting me on the spot. I was walking Or is he likes to call his come slide? Oh you're you're come drainage ditch Spider web prevention technology. It drains. It's like, it all just runs down here. Keeps it out of his eye. Now that you brought up the van life, I have to show you this image that I sent. Oh, don't say van life. Hashtag van life.
Starting point is 00:47:17 Hashtag van life. I remember growing up as a child watching Chris Farley making fun of people that lived in vans because they were poor. Now you have to have a fucking trust fund to live in a van down by the river. Bro, Vans are just Vans though. Because Brandon always says, brother, never let me walk anywhere ever again. And at 3 in the morning... Oh, no that's yours. Okay, that was yours.
Starting point is 00:47:40 At 3 in the morning he's like, oh god, did you actually manage to get back to the house? And I was like, nah, but this grass mad soft can you screenshot these and send them to me because holy shit but this grass is mad soft read those texts out loud That's awesome. Look at the time. Look at the time. I know. Read those texts out loud. Please. How old is your iPhone? It's even funnier. This is a new one.
Starting point is 00:48:16 You have the smallest little iPhone. I have tiny hands, bro. Oh, he does. They're smaller than mine. No, they're smaller than mine. Eli, no, fuck this. I don't care about you. You're a big dude. Eli, hands. No, his are small.
Starting point is 00:48:27 This is why people think you're small. Man, that's a hand part-time job. How big is your dick? Dude, my shit trickles so thick, dude. That's why I don't care about my hands. I'm like, it's fine. We've talked about it. It's like taking a pic with your dick. You just use a Barbie hand.
Starting point is 00:48:44 You want to look like a mammoth? Those little things you put on your fingers. You're like... with your dick you just use a Barbie hand and that soft text message thread is even funnier because Brandon was there and salt like also and knows that he slept in the van so like it, it's believable. He just said, fuck it, this yard's nice. Well, guess what? The place we're at, Brandon's like, I'm going to get a fucking Uber. We'll go back to my place. We can like crash and be safe there.
Starting point is 00:49:17 And I was like, how far away am I from the house? And I look at my home, like 13 miles. And I was like, I'll catch you later, brother. He's like, Nico, no. I was like, okay, okay. And I literally just started sprinting across the street. I was like, good later, brother. He's like, Nico, no. I was like, okay, okay. And I literally just started sprinting across the street. I was like, good night, bro. And I just was running for like two miles.
Starting point is 00:49:34 And I look at my phone like, fuck. Still 12 miles. I was like, 11 miles. I was like, holy shit, dude. You were just deciding to walk home. Yeah, I thought it would be fun. What is your brain? It's going to be hilarious when I wake up in this hot hard van. Dude, I thought it'd be fun. What is your brain? It's gonna be hilarious when I wake up in this hot hard van.
Starting point is 00:49:47 Dude, I'm 12 miles out. The guys are gonna find this funny too. I'm gonna run home at 3 a.m. It was funny until it was like 3 o'clock and I was like, I fucked up. I definitely fucked up. I'm halfway.
Starting point is 00:50:04 The booze wore off? Yeah. I was like, man, Dan. I was like, don't ever let me watch it again. And then, bro, he's like, obviously, he's like, did you make it back? And I'm like, no. I just picture you, like,
Starting point is 00:50:20 jogging. It's that two-mile mark, and you're like, dude, I'm running like this. It's dark. I'm like, I still have, like, it's dark. I'm like I Still have like I'll come in like this so I just picture that dark highway road though with lights illuminating it So many times you're coming to that stop you like Mike, huh? Huh? Huh? You look up and you're like 10 miles you hear a coyote howling you're like oh man no i'm drunk dude i was i was so dude cars were like going by because it's like a freeway right it's like a sir the frontage road yeah yeah
Starting point is 00:50:53 yeah and yeah it's a fucking freeway walking on the side of the freeway yeah were you walking to kmart like i've never seen anybody do that dude i was just walking i'm like who gonna stop me nobody like i hope people were driving by their lighting nico ortiz and they just kept driving dude that dude's hitting it roughly three just fans homie peaked and he died yeah his man his tiktok career is dying by the way there's no fucking lights on that like road. So I'm scared of all these cars hitting me, right? Because they go by and it's like. Should have had your PT belt. And then there were no cars for like 30 seconds. And the last car went by and then it was like pitch black.
Starting point is 00:51:34 And I was like, what the fuck? I was like, oh my God, my eyes. I was like, what the fuck? I'm like, I can't see shit, dude. I was freaking out for a minute. So that was fun. You just unlocked a fucking core memory. I like almost forgot about PT belts for a second. How did, haven't you done a video on PT belts? I don't know
Starting point is 00:51:49 Oh my god Reflective contraceptive Dude, I was researching I was trying to find out like where PT belts came about and like why they happened I cannot find it to save my life Like man, I had to know like there's a reason actually for pt belts is it really like pt belts is literally just the equivalent of like one person shits we all gotta wear a diaper one time and now mcdonald's cups say this is hot coffee
Starting point is 00:52:22 uh that's fake, actually. That's a completely different story. Stop it. Don't. I swear to God, do you want to know this? It's a good story. I love that story. Oh, I know it.
Starting point is 00:52:31 You want to know it? So, like, they created an ad campaign that they spilled hot coffee, or somebody spilled hot coffee. Old lady. Old lady. In her 70s. That's the whole thing. It was, they didn't put the lid on all the way, and they handed it to an old lady in
Starting point is 00:52:43 her, like, her 70s or her 80s, and when they handed it to an old lady in her, like her seventies or her eighties. And when they handed it to her, it spilled on her lap and gave her third degree burns all over her thighs and genitals and genitals. And she was in the hospital for a very long time and it racked up all these health bills. So she's only to get money to cover her health expenses. And McDonald's literally said,
Starting point is 00:53:02 well, she's so old. We're just going to tie it up in litigation until she dies and the problem goes away. And then they created that marketing campaign to that of how ridiculous it is. So yeah, there's that. They fucked that old lady
Starting point is 00:53:17 because she literally was like, all I want. So it was the coffee also was well above boiling point because it's supposed to be like 90 Celsius, 92 Celsius. Fuck is that? I don't fucking know. Talk like your country went to the 60 Fahrenheit.
Starting point is 00:53:33 I don't know how hot it is. Coffee supposed to be because on my little thing, 202 your tea is tea. I love tea. I'm sorry. He is tea. He's great. What's worse, the metric system or tea? It's the same.
Starting point is 00:53:50 It's the same thing. I drink my tea at 202 degrees Fahrenheit. It's just metric leaf water. I fucking hate it. That's terrible. That's a shirt for you. Metric leaf water? That's such a good. But no, that lady,
Starting point is 00:54:10 it was well above boiling point. So they had all those fuck ups. And then as he said, not lit on, spilt on her fucking genital, like everything, fused it shut. It was a bad thing. And she was just like, yeah, she had to have reconstructive surgery.
Starting point is 00:54:24 And then it was just like, Target built to have reconstruction surgery and then it was just like target built the shit fucking just fuses so you know the dust and then she won but she did win money from it because she did just go against she was like i just want my bill pays mcdonald's like fuck you like they made the conscious decision to tie it up in litigation like writing it out until their plan was to write it out and tie it up in litigation until she passed away. Like it's pretty fucked up. Yeah. Fucked up.
Starting point is 00:54:50 Yeah. Now people are like, oh, here's the real story behind that. And you're like, oh, man. Fuck. Because I remember little. It was just like you just learned. It's like this old dumb lady spilled coffee. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:01 You can sue anybody for anything in America. I give it like the first one. So people like, oh, she just took it just call it but knowledge. It's like that's my comment section all the time some but knowledge too, but it's very different I Also have that but no Baddies but knowledge let's go Nick here Just tap it just tap it before we would start this ad read This is the ghost bed pillows like baddies saying right now. We want more because
Starting point is 00:55:41 These things are bed send me another pillow roseos for reals though this is a mattress it feels so comfortable you like toss your trash pillows now the second my head hits something i know it's not right i'm like sav i don't want your shitty ass pillow from walmart these though it's cool dude have you do you put yours in a pillowcase oh Oh, yeah. No, don't. Wait, what? That's the fucking case. The pillow's inside. It's got a zipper. What? Use the outside.
Starting point is 00:56:11 It's legitimately, like, cooling as fuck. Really? Bro, I'm telling you, just rock that shit. Raw dog your pillow, bro. So nice. Oh, yeah, I'll hold it up here. All right. Every mattress has a 20-year warranty.
Starting point is 00:56:28 Some even have a 25-year warranty. You can even try it out for 101 nights. If you don't like it, you can send it back. No hard feelings. Who does that? Perhaps GhostBed? Is it GhostBed? Boo!
Starting point is 00:56:39 The pillows you've been talking about this entire time? One of our favorite parts about GhostBed is that each mattress has cooling technology, pillows too, so that if you get hot at night, like we do here in Texas, cause oh boy, it's warm. This thing's our lifesaver. Fluck, now insert your head in the wide.
Starting point is 00:56:56 Do that last part. Eli, I've got you buddy. Batty, thanks for having me here by the way, guys. I'm totally here. Don't look under the table. Listen, Ghost ghost bed also offers bundles so you can get everything that you need making it really easy to think about just simply go and pick one of their four mattresses and then pick your bundle whether you're choosing just a
Starting point is 00:57:14 mattress in a frame or maybe you want it all like the cooling sheets and pillows ghost bed's gonna help make sure that you get the best bang for your buck right now ghost bed is offering 30 off of everything if you use code unsubscribe that is the full word unsubscribe you just you want to fix that perfect now they can read these prices are scary boo that was awful. Okay, Nick. Nico. Oh, boy. Yeah. Favorite video game ever. Favorite video game ever.
Starting point is 00:57:50 I just want to know. Fallout 3. Ooh. The Fallout series and the Assassin's Creed series, but if I had to pick, like, from childhood that I wish they continued, it's actually Jak and Dexter. I like that. You have a great choice.
Starting point is 00:58:04 I got to talk to you about assassin Creed real quick Go they don't suck You said Jack and Dexter and it like literally unlocked a core memory of me playing Jack and Dexter on my PSP Bad happening trials that you're a lot of things recently I just want to reflect on how ahead of its time and how fantastic the PSP was I Never had a died because everybody hated it. I thought it was amazing. I hated it I loved it all my friends had it and I played it one time. I was like I have a PlayStation Dude in Iraq the PSP was fucking Joe on my down Yeah, no, no I had yeah, but I had
Starting point is 00:58:50 Do always the zoom the zoom halo edition you guys remember the zoom Dude, this is before your guys's time Microsoft put out the zoom which was just the same as the original iPod but better in every fucking way But it didn't have the marketing of an iPod and it failed It's not that it didn't have the marketing it didn'tod and it failed miserably. No, no, no. It's not that it didn't have the marketing. It didn't have an insane fucking cult that thinks anything that Mac puts out is the best. Okay, that's true. That's also true. The Zune was so fucking awesome. Dude, I beat off that Zune. Right, exactly.
Starting point is 00:59:14 Just like how I am. That's the name of this episode. Sticky Zune. Dude, I just would be like, time to go to the port of john have my zoo walk in walk out hashtag sauna fap dude jack and dexter and did you guys ever play conquerors if you have oh bad for a day oh my god if you like jack and dexter or jack and dexter you would love conquerors bad for a day it's n64 so yeah it's n64 right didn't they remaster it They should I think they did you guys like Jim. Yeah, Jack and Dexter was a
Starting point is 00:59:49 Shows the third one The first one was very confusing when they traveled through time though And they were in the future with like hovercrafts and guns and shit on the second one though. They did the second one. Okay? like that was is nerdy oh i know you're gonna hate this i don't care after uh you're gonna get this point just go back in time and do a cup counter on everybody i'm curious yeah yeah just start putting i have to be drinking all day or you guys already know this right now i will freak out on the fucking planes oh yeah he's not a freak out on the fucking plane i have i'm gonna have to drink all day till 9 when my plane takes
Starting point is 01:00:25 Yeah, I have to drink all day or I'm gonna fucking freak out I've uh, good. I've been around Nico for about five days cumulative in my life right now, and it's never been dull He's a great guy I love I know all of your I can tell your personality trace by you guys just staying here And I'm noticing that with guests when they come here I'm like I'm telling you right now like your wife cleans a majority of your house. She's the clean one Why it is my wife's mission to make it look like I don't exist in the house like I have my one office where my Computer is that's where my shit goes period but it's if they organize
Starting point is 01:01:06 It's getting fucking heated down the stairs Your shit is ugly get it out of my house like I don't want your Carhartt bullshit hanging on the shelf your dirty work clothes eat Cuz I was like oh like nickel like the coffee maker right now It's pulled out from the thing and I'm always that pulled out right now I wasn't it Sorry, this isn't you being dirty. I apologize. This is Eli's tism kicking. It's flaring up Left a coffee maker out cuz it's still on so I know he's a fucking slob Yeah, Nick did Nick open the charging cables and left the open package next to it
Starting point is 01:01:51 Yeah Did you would you prefer that I opened the garage door over there and threw it into your garage? Yes, please. A fucking ocean of Amazon boxes? I swear to God, the entire two-bay garage, completely full, six feet high, nothing but empty Amazon boxes. He's right. Everything. It won't take long to tell you Neutral's ingredients.
Starting point is 01:02:24 Vodka. Soda. Natural flavors. So, what should we talk about? No sugar added? Neutral. Refreshingly simple. Truth.
Starting point is 01:02:49 I'm going to throw it in there. I'll do it right now. I like to cosplay as Scrooge McDuck, and that is my coins. When people talk about compartmentalizing, that's not what they meant. They didn't mean to shove all your fucking shit in the garage. You, that garage is... We'll take a picture and post it. Because this house is fucking spotless.
Starting point is 01:03:09 You go to that garage, though, it's like... It's a whole hoarder. You're, like, moving stuff around. There's a little path through it. It's a maze. We're opening it with a corn maze. It's just a cardboard maze. Kids can come in.
Starting point is 01:03:24 There's four skeletons in there Nico to the sleep in there The dudes are going to laugh their ass off. I'm like, dudes, there's nobody around. I'm like, this is going to be great, dude. Smashing cardboard and making a cardboard blanket. I'm like, Nico, no one finds this hilarious. Ever. I'll be like, I'm going to laugh about it tomorrow. Going to the bar with Nico?
Starting point is 01:03:58 Best experience. Oh, God, explain. If you get in a fight at the bar and Nico is there with you, he could not know what's going on. And if you get in a physical alter, he's going to come out of left field and double leg drop kick whoever's fucking with you and then ask questions later. Like he's just like, this guy just tried to find me.
Starting point is 01:04:19 I was like, where the fuck is this bitch? Take me there right now. And then fucking, uh, he walks up and he's like so this guy right here and I looked at like I'm not trying to like throw a first punch right like that's the elite that's where like shit is like that's where the crime happens he's like so this guy the dude turns around and then like I gotta go like this I'm like like trying to make Fighting him right and then they like this to do that back me. I was like oh, oh no he didn't like he's cool
Starting point is 01:04:57 An inch from death it's crazy. You know You know microwaves have a fucking popcorn button yeah, like there's no reading instructions Nico's got a fight button Go and chances are I'm like it's sober Remember when you were playing a fallout and you're like companion dog or your ogre whatever the fuck Something that's like seven eight feet tall like this Deathclaw Shooting the dog in the leg. You're slowing you down for the death claw. So you are a popcorn button. That's amazing.
Starting point is 01:06:14 Chances are it's not going to work, right? So it's just hitting people. Yeah, death claws have that ATF perk. Extra damage on dogs. Oh, no. God, I haven't played a Fallout in God knows how long. This is a good, like, best. We were arguing with Cody and Brandon yesterday.
Starting point is 01:06:38 We think that Fallout 3 is the best, and they are thoroughly convinced that Fallout New Vegas is the best. I'll go with 3, 100%. Yeah. I like 2 and 1. Here was our argument. I'll go with three. A hundred percent. Yeah. I like two in one. Here was our argument. He's old, guys. He's fucking 80. You play in the back of your covered wagon, you fucking pilgrim.
Starting point is 01:06:52 Jesus Christ. Fallout. I don't even know what Fallout 1 and 2 look like. Sorry. Seven minutes. A six-minute audio. Do we say something we're not supposed to say? I We didn't crack a beer usually sinks over beer cracks now. We didn't crack a beer We didn't cloud folks gonna hate us for this one you There's a sync button
Starting point is 01:07:25 But we were saying that fall out of fallout 3 was like the last big game that came out when? Gaming companies would just release a complete fucking product and not released 40% of a complete game and then sell you the rest as a DLC Fallout 3 map is massive The true open world experience. Yeah, like it's fucking huge an interaction for the entire way 2005 or 2008 eight oh Man, I saw that I can time I was a I can guess Game is ahead of its fucking time. Then you guys didn't play. That's why you would have loved Fallout 1 and 2. I've seen the gameplay on that and I'm like, this is not for fucking me.
Starting point is 01:08:07 If somehow you're an adult and you're watching this podcast, let your kids play RPGs. It's really important when they become an adult because you really learn how to interact with a lot of fucking NPCs walking around in this planet. Very important. Niko's a quest giver. You can tell.
Starting point is 01:08:24 Still an NPC, but like like an important one yeah no he's definitely giving a question it's like i misplaced my three pillows i slept in a trailer last night can you find that trailer and you're like why why are you not going decker cane for that good job that's nico's voice what i don't know it's not he's not steak sauce right now what all right you're giving quests. You're in you give a mission. Yeah, you're an embassy But you're like a boss bot you're like a rich bot you handed out you a quest giver You're an NBC but like it was giver was giver no fucking We gotta talk to three bots before we get to you. He's like, I don't know what's going on. That's like the nicest way to insult somebody. Like, you're an NBC, but like, you're a ghost giver.
Starting point is 01:09:08 Ghost giver. No fucking. Fallout 2 was the first. I love the Fallout series. So, Fallout 2 came out in 98. It's isometric. Did you have to plug that game console into AC or DC electricity? DC.
Starting point is 01:09:23 I'm crazy. Edison come out with it? Edison come out with it? Edison come out with it? I fucking hate you for how old I am. What? You hate him for how old you are. You're the reason I'm old. But for 98, those are the first games that broke. Did you just say 98?
Starting point is 01:09:39 Yeah, that game came out in 98 or 97. That was fucking four. Nico was born. 98. It might have been 97, actually. I was three. I'd like to get money. Do it.
Starting point is 01:09:50 This or this. It's old as fuck. That was the first game, though. You're old as fuck. You could, yes, 100%. Marry somebody and then prostitute them out. And that was, again, in the 90s. You're like, what the fuck is this game?
Starting point is 01:10:02 And you could kill entire cities. It's Fallout. That didn't change. Oh, in the video game. I was're like what the fuck is this game and you could kill entire cities it's fallout like that didn't change video games i was like what are we talking you have like i was like that blackout for a second i was like what the fuck just changed you can literally marry people in fallout one uh fallout one and two and then you can prostitute them out to make money. The games are really fucked up and you're like, oh, and then they're like Fallout 3. They're like, yo, let's make it first person now.
Starting point is 01:10:31 That was highly successful for the PC market space. Let's make it this. And then it turned down to the fucking Fallout series which is, again, fucking cream of the crop because the choices you make in the game actually change. It's not like, yeah, it's not the lines of dialogue well that was in the time of fall throughs in the time of like your elder Scrolls in time of what
Starting point is 01:10:54 was the Star Wars one mass mass mass effect yeah oblivion was 2006 I think oblivion is fucking amazing. That was all new stuff. Making choices in games. Holy fuck. That didn't exist. Now I think it got watered down because the new Fallout, they didn't change. You can change the fucking...
Starting point is 01:11:18 The text doesn't matter what you say. You'll still get the same line of dialogue, and that's what I hated because the old ones it did. You literally... Oh, fuck. People are complaining about shit, did. You're like, you litter. Oh, fuck. No, cause people are complaining about shit, bro.
Starting point is 01:11:28 They're like, Oh, I don't, I made a mistake and I want to go back. It's like, you can't go back. You're like, welcome to life.
Starting point is 01:11:34 Motherfucker. So fallout, I forgot about this fallout one and two. This is my favorite mechanic that they didn't incorporate. Uh, what is the best stats in fallout three, four intelligence? Did it matter matter i don't
Starting point is 01:11:45 know well you guys fuck what i remember that yeah maybe you would eli what stats are important what's that because i want to be able to carry all my shit lock picking is always one that i really went for well not lock picking hacking hacking and oblivion and skyrim So your stats really mattered in Fallout. Let's say you took all your stats away from Intelligent and then you put it in Strength, you did whatever. In Fallout 2 and 1, if you did that and you put your Intelligence at 1 and you put everything else everywhere,
Starting point is 01:12:18 the stats came like this. Your guy in conversations, it would be like, hey, you are the chosen one. You have to ooga booga booga booga re redo your guy couldn't speak english so people would be like yeah that's fucking weird and you had to play the whole game as a fucking idiot and it has the best lines of dial because you go up to the kingdoms and it'd be like ooga booga do do goo and the king would be like i don't understand what the fuck you say you guys like
Starting point is 01:12:46 Like shoot them in the head you're like ah, this is a chaos mission. I like this so much trying to talk to Oblivion was super cool because I remember you could like opt to become a fucking vampire Yeah, it's just like you could literally only play the game when it was fucking dark outside. Because you were a fucking gangster in the dark. You were like unstoppable in the dark. But the best strength, the magic was insane. But like you could only play at night.
Starting point is 01:13:15 Yeah, and then you had to dig into the guts of the game to find like the cure. Dude, the vampire cure in the old games was wild. Yeah, I remember I was like And then like the first like a bowl of onions knows like so bitch Because in oblivion I want to play the game, but I can't. Dude, that's so good. Accidentally becoming, because in Oblivion. Accidentally becoming. You would. You would fight a vampire, and you would get hit by them, and they would pass you.
Starting point is 01:13:53 Vampirism. Vampirism, yeah. And, like, if you don't have the cure, go fuck yourself. It was just like any disease, because I don't. Yeah, well, there was a way. There was diseases and shit in the games. You can cure it, like, right from the get. Like, through, like, sleep or, like. A cure disease, but, like, right out of the like through like sleep or like a cure disease
Starting point is 01:14:06 But like right if it lasted a day if yeah, if you passed up that opportunity You were a fucking vampire and you had to like do google research To try and figure out how the fuck to not be a vampire and you're like this quest barely fucking exists The homeless dude in the middle of the woods. He has the cure. What the fuck? No, that was the thing in oblivion, which was much better than Morrowind still, if you caught vampirism or anything like that, it would be like, all right, here's how you cure it, but it wouldn't direct you to how to cure it.
Starting point is 01:14:34 No. Like, once Skyrim hit, that's when it really put quest markers on every single objective to find every little thing you needed. I was going to say, I think Oblivion is better than Skyrim. Dude, I'm not going to argue with you. The Shivering Isles was probably the greatest expansion I have ever played of a game. I think oblivion is better than Skyrim dude. I'm not Was probably the greatest expansion I've ever played of a game ever to this day, and you're unlocking so many Fable 3 never played fable
Starting point is 01:15:09 That was again a game change I know the next fable got delayed like a year. I had a so y'all know I had a buddy is the best man My wedding he did you know, you could like do blacksmithing to raise money Yeah And like you had like running the kingdom you had you had choices that you had to make where it was like the kingdom ran Out of money and now these people are gonna be mad at you because you didn't give him fucking money to do there Whatever the fuck he would literally just go on blacksmith for like six hours and like hit combos and he raised like millions of dollars and he like gave everybody all their money and he had like the highest charisma and morale i'd ever seen in the game and it was like a special xbox achievement oh fucking awesome do chris i always charisma luck those are always my stats i pour into games
Starting point is 01:15:44 like that I'm like in fable dude. Oh no lucky enough. I was was another thing to luck in most games Yeah, lock lock in that one where you could like speak to people and like you can persuade them charisma charisma Yeah, yeah, the charisma that's so you can great great great question for an influencer to ask Yeah, we're saying when, you like win people over? Yeah. Is that intelligence? Which one is it?
Starting point is 01:16:08 Ooga Booga. It's strange, right? Fucking, it might be luck. Oh my God, I forgot. Fallout 2, you could get, what was the drugs in Fallout? Can you stop talking about that? What's the drugs?
Starting point is 01:16:18 Nobody played Fallout 2. What's the drugs? In Fallout, it's the same drug they've always used. Meth? I don't, what message drugs like it's like Yeah, right the red Jet is the drug so you can get
Starting point is 01:16:38 Him so yeah, I'm addicted to it Yes You can't so in the fallout 2 you would get addicted to it where you looks like an adrenaline. Yes, an inhaler. You can't. So in Fallout 2, you would get addicted to it where you had to continue to do it. And then your character transformed into Hulk weird creature. And so you'd have to do it. Yeah, I was like, he's literally turned into a fucking super mutant. Yeah, you turn into a super mutant.
Starting point is 01:17:00 You have to play the game as a super mutant addicted to Jet. And you go, oh, if you don't have it, rage, berserk. This is a 90s game. It is fucking mind blowing on the shit they did what did you play either skyrim or uh oblivion as what class or morrowind no yeah i want to know uh like which class you didn't play them person human human yeah human which human that's like four different kinds a draw yeah i know it's like were you a drought no one was in a drought the god i don't even remember it's like a breton or nord is one of the two humans uh breton was the big red guard breton red guards were magic the north yeah adrenaline they could sprint they check mark shivering
Starting point is 01:18:02 no I played and then naturally the first time I played. I was a Khajiit named Chester. Oh, Khajiit. The Khajiit. I couldn't do the Khajiit. I was like, you can see in the dark, and you're kind of fast. Cool. Fuck you.
Starting point is 01:18:17 Fireball. You're dead. Brands were the way. You'd take more damage, but then you'd just, you'd use your star sign to make it to the Atronauts Whatever the fuck they were so that you would absorb magic half the time instead of getting out by it I remember I was like if I'm gonna play okay. We have an abjuration wizard here, okay? No, okay. I'll let you know in a second continue. No. I was just saying like if it was magic and light armor
Starting point is 01:18:42 That's that's what the fuck I was doing i was like okay i'm gonna become the i'm gonna be the master fucking mage like let's go here hear me out khajiit max out stealth arrows stealth melee and fireball fireball and then you go and you join the brotherhood of assassins you go all the way the dark brotherhood Assassins. You go all the way. The Dark Brotherhood. You get their fucking their dagger at the very end. That's like if you hit them with stealth, it's like 900 times. I was literally walking up in Skyrim like to a fucking dragon dead.
Starting point is 01:19:16 Whole dragon. That's why if you did that and then also with the arrows, because I accidentally did that my first playthrough. And I was just like, oh oh I'm a god now you like a dragon could be like the most powerful dragon in the lands is up on that Mount Pekin you're like punch a dude in the face and then squat down on your knees, where'd you go? And you're right in front of him. Where are you? Reveal yourself! Stop, you violated the law! Yeah, so... Huh?
Starting point is 01:19:52 I forgot about that shit. I'm sad that Oblivion ended that, man. Was there any cheats that you guys took advantage of in like, uh, Fallout or Oblivion? Nope. That was one of the... I never cheated in that. I cheated my fucking ass off would I would exploit stuff by Enchanting maybe but I would never For office one day answer ever I didn't cheat I exploited you could crack potion
Starting point is 01:20:20 Cool I got a glass Oblivion there was this glitch where you could take a bow and you could draw your arrow and then I know you open your inventory Whatever you show whatever you click on it with an item and how other than you could fire and whatever however many Say you had like 500 fucking apples you could fucking open it draw Select 500 apples and then select a different item. And then when you let go, it would make 500 of that other item. So, like, if you had an item that was worth a fuck ton of money. Oh, you could do gems. Yeah, gems.
Starting point is 01:20:51 Greater soul gems with a greater soul in it. Whatever the fuck it was. And it would, like, but your game would be, like, three frames per second. You could feel your Xbox vibrate. You could feel it. You could hear your Xbox go. Trying to generate 500 new fucking items. It's taking off. Again. You can hear your Xbox go They wanted me to do this. New COD, the new Modern Warfare, we found out there's two good exploits to level guns really quick.
Starting point is 01:21:27 Nico, Modern Warfare or Battlefield? Battlefield. You're a piece of shit. That's entirely... The new COD is... I do the old COD compared to this one. The thing that pisses me off is the hardcore. There's no hardcore.
Starting point is 01:21:38 Yet. They're dropping it, are they? This month, they're dropping it. Yeah, they're dropping it. That's my main issue. DMZ and that, or whatever it's called. I'm weird. I like to go semi with my rifles in Call of Duty.
Starting point is 01:21:47 100%. I love doing hardcore. And I'm like, when I have to shoot you with 15 rounds, I'm not having fun. Oh, you're just not good. I can be the best player in the world. It's not going to be fun by doing that because I love types of games. I love a realistic aspect to it. Just fucking come play Darko with me.
Starting point is 01:22:02 EBR in. I do play Darko with you. I'm trying to learn the game better so I can keep up. It doesn't matter. Just come play Darko with me. EBR in... I do play Dark with you. I'm trying to learn the game better so I can keep up. It doesn't matter. Just come play Dark with me. Dude, I fall and die immediately. I'll be like, guys, we started and I'll be like, why is my guy fainting? Oh, fuck, you don't have any water or food.
Starting point is 01:22:16 Shit. I would play if my PC sponsor would get me a PC. Do we rip into one? No, I'm joking. I'm about to just go buy one you should just buy one do the The EBR I will say in the campaign is nice because it is like one shot to the head and they are fucking Dropping to the great sound it has to that's the only time in that game We like oh even the armor guys if they have full armor you and for it's gonna take at least 30 rounds
Starting point is 01:22:43 EBR one round they. They'll be like, everyone else is a bull mag. Bull mag to the head. I just wish we could go back to Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2. One or two. That was
Starting point is 01:22:58 the best game ever. And now it's like, X, power slide, 30 30 fucking feet around a corner Mag dumping it's just it's jump 17 feet in the air We've never come back from advanced warfare. Yep. That's the one I quit playing up. That's literally rough and then advanced warfare was The end let's add running on walls because titanfall did it they literally we gotta do we gotta do the run thing and put them in a meg suit and they did now you remember
Starting point is 01:23:33 there was megs the exoskeleton yeah and people were like this this actually kind of sucks cock let's not let's actually go backwards from where we're at right now and i do modern warfare i do think they um they turned it down like slide you can't slide cancel and that shit anymore it's a little slower it's not i can't but you can slide yeah dude i actually i did slide in combat multiple times getting shot at like if it was up i'm see me i'm down i would actually slide i would use my knee pads the only time i'd pull them up from my butt my my boot sides was if i was like doing that shit i'd slide them up i'm like i'm probably gonna have to do like knee slides or something
Starting point is 01:24:09 like that or hit the ground hard only time i do it because i'd be like i'm up i'm sitting and i'm down like if it's slick grass i'm like and i lay back down yeah i don't encourage people to slide please stop it i hate this conversation I used it a lot Yeah Just if you're watching at home they patched that in real life. It doesn't work anymore Like a dumbass in a video I just put out because I was like dude I was like oh like I'm making fun of game. I was like I ran and I said no like oh by the way This is honest. I really didn't notice.
Starting point is 01:24:46 I was like, oh, look, cool. I slide canceled. They're like, what? You can't even slide cancel in this game. I was like, what are you talking about? I literally just ran and slid and I ran and slid again. They're like, oh, you're an idiot? You don't know slide canceling? I was like, it was like I saw a flash of my entire life.
Starting point is 01:25:03 I was like, why did y'all always slide so fast? I slid so slow. It's because I was like, I was like every it was like it's all flash of my entire life I was like, why did y'all always slide so fast and I slid so slow? It's cuz I was literally just run and slide and run and slide you weren't canceling I wasn't I was like, I didn't know there was a separate thing our 15. She's kicked The I would run slide hit the ground shoot and then let other person bound for sure like a smart person Yeah, I would be like, run, slide. Not cancel the slide because I want to lay down in the prone. So I have. Return fire.
Starting point is 01:25:31 Then I'm like, go, buddy. I'll engage firing now. Rotate. It's what happens. War. It's fun times. War. What a good time.
Starting point is 01:25:42 I really like how you guys don't do in-video ads anymore. You do them after the fact, ever since the Outer Regs one that got out of hand. Outer Regs? No, we did them after that in for a lot, actually. Yeah, depending on what's the schedule and the timing. Yeah, it all depends on who the guest is, too. Sometimes they'll be talking and we don't want to interrupt them with, Outer Regs, Put cum in your hair!
Starting point is 01:26:05 Though, yours did really good. Give me an outer eggs pitch. No, one. Just a quick one. Why? Do it. I have a beard oil. This is not beard oil. This is fucking pomade. Oh, no. You have a pomade? You're doing it for us. It's not for you. Stop it.
Starting point is 01:26:21 Gross. You ain't getting nothing out of this. Let's hear your best ad. Sorry, I'm not either. That one smells good. This video is brought to you by Outta Rags Basic Operator. If you wanted to dress like Han Solo every October, it smells like pumpkin spice in Starbucks. It's fantastic.
Starting point is 01:26:41 That was a great start. Now finish it. Yeah. Finish me. I'm already finished. No, that was a really good one finish it yeah finish me i'm already finished no that was a really good i'm here to disappoint you were that was like i was having the best sex ever and then it went just south and you gave up and then she's finding harder nope that was it Adam Riggs use code on something Or com 20 Use code com 20
Starting point is 01:27:08 Nico let's hear your pitch now What's in your hair right now Nico Uh You don't want to know No you're supposed to say Fucking Adam Whatever weed killer that person uses In their yard
Starting point is 01:27:22 Adam Riggs Untouched bro Tastes delicious whatever weed killer that person uses in their yard. Out of rags. Untouched, bro. Tastes delicious. Wait, hold on. We got a new, okay. No, it actually tastes like pumpkin. Tastes like pumpkin delicious.
Starting point is 01:27:37 There's a new out of rags that says it's peppermint. Yeah. Bro, I want to smell like a fucking candy cane. Oh my God. Smell that, smell that. Oh my God, it smells like gingerbread cum. It's amazing. Smell that. It's peppermint. Oh my God, oh my god, it smells like gingerbread come it's amazing Oh my god, you just
Starting point is 01:27:59 Oh my god Come 20 what what the fuck why the fuck what the fuck what the fuck is going on what the fuck is going on what the this is the ad read you sucking on thumbs fucking eating pomace starting with a solid fucking ad you're now picking your goddamn teeth bad he's offering his thumb delicious guys have you tried baddie cereal? Baddie, stop eating your fucking shit What the fuck I think Aderex is going to hire me to help But we're going to go ahead We're going to start a petition That the White House actually has to respond to
Starting point is 01:28:56 To let our military grow fucking beards And then you're going to sell more products Can't you just be Norse now? It's not like a thing I'm a Viking You can, but they really bully you from what I'm seeing. Really? Like, NCOs bully the shit out of you.
Starting point is 01:29:09 Why? Who gives a fuck? It's a commander's discretion thing. Commander's discretion? Every other military on Earth gets to grow a beard. But they're not back-to-back World War champs. They literally are, though. You can say what you want, but Canada, Britain, India, Canada, they're all back-to-back World War champs. They literally are, though. You can say what you want, but Canada,
Starting point is 01:29:26 Britain, India, Canada, they're all back-to-back World War champs with us. It's a team effort. How many nuclear warheads did they drop off? So fascinating. Fascinating thing. Thank you for watching the M2I podcast.
Starting point is 01:29:42 As always, Eli Doublesap, I'm Matty Streams. We have our very special guest, Nico Ortiz. And the Fat Electrician. Where can we find you? What's up with you, Nick? Where can we find you? TheFatElectrician.com. Perfect. Nico, where can we find you?
Starting point is 01:29:58 Don't come find me. In my bedroom. Thank you guys. We'll see you next time.

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