Unsubscribe Podcast - 85 - Holiday Hangover Part 2 ft. Demolition Ranch & Brandon Herrera ​

Episode Date: December 25, 2022

MERRY CHRISTMAS! SANTA SAID YOU WERE NAU- I MEAN NICE SO YOU GET A SECOND PART OF THIS WEEK'S PODCAST. Hope y'all have a safe and merry holiday. NOW GO GET SOME EGGNOG. ------------------------------ CHECK OUT TODAY'S VIDEO SPONSORS, MYBOOKIE Head over to https://www.mybookie.ag/ now and you'll receive up-to-$200 on your first deposit. Just use promo code UNSUB to claim your deposit match! ------------------------------ GO FOLLOW DEMORANCH! @DemolitionRanch @OffTheRanch @VetRanch https://www.youtube.com/user/demolitionranch GO CHECK OUT AK DADDY BRANDON!! @Brandon Herrera https://www.youtube.com/c/BrandonHerrera https://www.instagram.com/realbrandonherrera ------------------------------ ------------------------------ OUR MERCH: https://www.bunkerbranding.com/pages/unsubscribe-podcast JOIN THE PATREON NOW: https://www.patreon.com/UnsubscribePodcast WE HAVE A SUBREDDIT??? https://www.reddit.com/r/UNSUBSCRIBEpodcast/ CHECK OUT https://outofregz.com/ CODE: UNSUB http://gfuel.com/discount/baddie CODE: BADDIE ------------------------------ WHERE TO LISTEN Spotify https://spoti.fi/2Ye8YOU Apple Podcasts https://apple.co/3cbqY4k Amazon https://amzn.to/2YbzQia Google Play https://bit.ly/2YcWmaD Stitcher https://bit.ly/3cbnY8o MORE LINKS! https://linktr.ee/UnsubscribePodCast ------------------------------ Follow the Cast of Unsubscribe -Baddie- @Baddie Streams https://www.twitch.tv/baddie https://twitter.com/BaddieStreams https://www.instagram.com/baddiestreams/ https://www.youtube.com/baddiestreams -DonutOperator- @Donut Operator @Operation Donut https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwkm_Wcyh0pc7UUmZZfL-6w https://www.instagram.com/donutoperator/ https://www.twitch.tv/DonutOperator https://twitter.com/DonutOperator -Eli_Doubletap- @Eli Doubletap https://www.instagram.com/eli_doubletap/ https://www.twitch.tv/Eli_Doubletap https://twitter.com/Eli_Doubletap https://www.youtube.com/c/EliDoubletap ------------------------------ Edited by Fluck https://www.twitch.tv/fluck twitchcon 2022 reaction Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Please play responsibly. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or the gambling of someone close to you, please contact Connects Ontario 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. Everyone ready? No! We're doing another? Are we fucked? I gotta drive home. I gotta piss. Okay, go

pee pee. You don't have to drive. We'll drive you home. I don't? Will you leave my truck here? I mean, if you want to leave your truck here. Your truck's safe here. I can text one of your employees right now tell them to pick you up you don't have any of my employees numbers i absolutely have a handful of your employees numbers who uh mayor doesn't count i don't well i don't have mayor's number uh david oh leslie leslie's assistant i don't remember his name but it's in my phone

Oh Darius I don't even have Darius's number How about your ex-employees numbers I don't have any ex-employees They stay with me for life Well One more for the road I mean might as well right

Look just sink off mine You have to do a shot I mean, might as well, right? Yeah. Oh. Look, just sink off mine. You have to do a shot. No. No! Why do you have to do a shot? No shots. It's the Christmas episode, Matty.

We've done shots. We're 14 drinks in. You're three. We drank at lunch. I drank at lunch, too. One. You had two. You had two. You had two. I had two.

I tried to be good and I had one. See, we had two. Batty, stop killing this. We got to roll with it, Santa Claus. I thought you were merry and cheery. Merry and cheery. See, Brandon gets it. There we go. He knows.

I'm going to join Brandon. He's just going to. I'm going to he knows I'm enjoying it. He's just going to enjoy an hour of this shit. I'm enjoying it. How much time you got? Are we going to be here for 20 minutes or two hours? What do you need?

You tell me what? More than 20 minutes. OK, last two hours. Here we go. That's what I need. What do you don't kick any cameras, Eli? I swear to God. Daddy!

You ruined a camera. Don't. Wait, what? Y'all have a real fridge that's no we have that fridge and then this for why that's actually my friend Jim somebody lives here every fridge is this big oh I'm gonna do what you're doing we may we have the whiskey can I give this can we bring the whiskey back I give this to you let me we bring the whiskey back? Can I give this to you? Hand it to Sir Brandon first. Merry Christmas. Ishka Baja, I believe. No, Merry Christmas.

The water of life. Do a pool. I did. Very good pool. Thanks. All right. Same pool as me, man. Yep.

Respect. And then I'll hand it back to Patty. Give it to me. Give Santa his juice. Give it safe. Give Santa his milk and cookies You want that one well, let me say there's so many directions like that. What's the black mean? Santa need milky milky mommy Do you want one I can make you you one real quick. I just had one. Wait, this is how we start the Christmas episode.

How much for a drink? We're going to treat it like manna, but for demo. No, I'm fine with this. How do you do that in a non-line format? A manna? Yeah. What are you going to pull out the credit card? Yeah, we literally just PayPal him from the unsub account. Yo, here's the PayPal unsub.

What are we talking about? Oh, I thought you're trying to like get people from. No, we're going to do it from our own PayPal account. What are we? Who are you paying? You. I'm in. You can't afford us.

Wait, per drink? Yeah. How much is a drink? Well, how much is a drink? Oh, is this what we're doing? Wait, I like, Yeah. How much is a drink? Well, how much is a drink? Oh, is this what we're doing? Wait. I like... Batty, shut the f*** up.

The Uber home is only 30 bucks, so I can make some money. Exactly. I gotta come back tomorrow and get my truck, though. That's fine. I'll pay for that. We'll have Batty drive it. Perfect. What the f***?

As is Santa Claus. This is great. I love this. Merry Christmas, motherf***er. What did you get for Christmas? As is Santa Claus. This is great. I love this segment already. Merry Christmas, mother******. What did you get for Christmas? An Uber. Say hi to Eli.

It's racially ambiguous, daddy. That guy's f***ing ridiculous. Donut. It's harder to rhyme, but he's a really nice guy. Welcome to Unsubscribe. Hey, really nice guy Welcome to Unsubscribe Hey guys, thanks for watching Unsubscribe Podcast Make sure wherever you're listening or watching

Whether it's on YouTube, Castro, Spotify Apple, Google, Amazon, Podbean Stitcher or That's all of them Please leave a comment Like it, thumbs up, give it a rating of five stars, whatever you do. It helps the podcast out immensely.

And Donut and Eli will be very happy if you do that. And we want to make Donut and Eli happy today. Yeah. Five stars on everything and a comment if there is possible because we need to be at the top. Donut, say something motivating. And that's where the... Come subscribe.

Do you remember the first time I ended up on Demo Ranch and I got dropped off by an Uber directly from the airport? And I was just like walking down your dirt. Me too. I had my little suitcase. Wait. Why?

Because somebody doesn't pick us up from the fucking airport. Who are you looking at, me or him? Don't look at me. Who technically was you this time? Actually, I also Ubered to your house from the airport the first time we hung out. Never mind, I'm a piece of shit. Technically, I was here to hang out with you, but I had to be on Demo Ranch that day. But I also was like, well, I'm at the airport.

I guess I'll just... I don't remember the first time y'all came. Because you did AR guys versus AK guys. And then, like, a week later, you're like, hey, dude, I totally stole your shit. Do you want to come out and hang out on the ranch? I'm like, fuck yeah, dude. Let's do it. I remember doing, like, the Rambo 4, like, long walk down the driveway, like...

With a fucking backpack. I had my little wheelie suitcase and a backpack in that movie. I was like, you want me to leave you here because the gates weren't up yet which uh had some weird indian which places you go to it was the new ranch okay yeah he came at the old old old old ranch i had a weird indian uber who didn't know where the fuck he was going i'm like just drop me off at the whataburger i'm pretty sure i could figure this out you walked all the way from whataburger yes holy cow that's what i'm saying like i was doing like the fucking homeless vet like like fucking that's far. Yeah. This is the new Brandon.

I can't remember who picked me. It was one of your, one of your guys was in a truck. They're like, Patty. Oh yeah. You were just, that's right.

I remember that. I literally just walking down the road, down the dirt road. Yup. Good times. It was like, I hope this is the one. Cause there was nothing was built yet. There was no nothing was out there

this is fucking golden okay wait so how much for a drink two years ago well the thing is if I drink one more drink besides this one then I definitely have to Uber to your god but what I'm saying is you live a remarkable 10 minutes away

the problem is I gotta come back it's not 10 minutes you don't have to come back we will take care of that we will also take care of that. Batty. Y'all bring my truck to me tomorrow? Yep. Done. I'll do that.

I'll fucking make sure it's covered. But I'd rather just drive my truck home. Yeah, but hear me out. Well, this is bullshit. This is this like $100 per drink. This is that high tier YouTuber shit. How much then? We're like before,

like you guys, as soon as we're done with the podcast, closing time. Me and Maddie just turned the lights off and maybe you guys are still stuck. Can I take like a two hour nap on the couch? No. You can do it on the porch though. Yeah,

get the fuck out. You can do it on the porch though. Yeah, get the fuck out! I mean, you right, like You right. You right. Wait, okay, wait a hundred's not enough for you for a single drink. No. Heck no. Brandon? I've been doing it for free. I know. But how much for a drink though? Like where it's like, you have to do a drink.

Me and Batty have our number. Way less. What is your number? I'm curious. 100 bucks. 100 bucks? It used to be 70. Bitch, that's what you just offered us.

You would do any drink for 100 bucks at any time? For the most part. It used to be so. It started out when I was first on Twitch. Because you're not allowed to drink for money on Twitch. Because that's technically self-harm. But they've got like the arm brace rule of mana. We call it a mana day.

We're powering up our mana level to become wizards. And we joke about building wizard staffs and dumb shit. And we don't even do that anymore. Which is funny because it just makes your wizard staff soft. And it started out like 20 bucks. But then, you know, a half an hour in, in your blackout drunk because I was like 20 bucks dude There definitely needs to be a tier system to oh yeah more and more Five drinks in you gotta be like I start that we got bumped to like 40 and we're at 40 for like a month and

Then we did 60 70. Yeah 69 for a long time, but it still, it's like the second you announce that, it is immediately. Someone's like, yeah, I'll pay that. It's like, oh, no. A couple $200. Dude, if you can imagine, like, especially if you're like hammered, you're like, all right. Next shot's $500. And you're like, I would pay $500 to make my favorite YouTuber throw up. Wait, hold on.

Batty, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold on. I can directly influence these. Batty, put apple juice in that bottle. You guys aren't important. Me and you right now. We're talking. Not important.

500 a piece, three drinks. I'm out. Two drinks. God, no. No. We're friends. We drink for free. Thank you. No, two drinks. God. No Why would no? Friends we drink for free. Thank you. But if you but These two what back no back no

What just to do three fully two fullies you get 500 apiece two full shots Yeah, I would do this for free. Yeah, but- What are you saying? No, now we gotta talk him into it. You got one free. All right, perfect. I'll take 500 bucks times two for his two shots. He's like, I'll take mine and his.

Yeah, 500 bucks a shot, I'd do that. A shot? But you just said. No, I said for two. You said 500 a piece. Yeah, you said 500 a piece. Yes, for two. He said you'd do it for free. Oh no i said for two you said 500 a piece but yeah you said 500 a piece yes he said for free a piece for oh yeah for two you said yes i don't give a shit he said he'd do it for free what the fuck is happening i won't do it for all your money on this episode i won't do it for free i'll do it for his money how about that you'll do it for his money yeah he gets paid

for for my shots as well. I just want to see the downgrade of this episode. I just really enjoy getting fucked up with Matt. That's what I want. I want Matt to be like, okay, I'll do two back-to-back. I'll do two with you for free. $500 is worth less to me. Matt is going to do two back-to-back also with us.

But we have to line them up. We have to do them right now. $500 is worth less to me than getting fucked up with Matt. That's a good friend! I enjoy fucked up characters. I do two shots and get $1,000? This is a good friend.

I'll do two shots for $1,000. See, there we go. We're fucking in. All it took was like an hour of negotiating. $1,000. That's the easiest check we'll write in unsub history. Stop judging us, Santa Claus. You're supposed to be married.

Hope you weren't trying to make money on this episode. Because it's getting fucking demonetized. Self-harm. Yes, it will. Eli, don't you ever fucking tell me this won't get demonetized because I will demonetize it. Look, bleep everything coming out. Okay. Are we the song of my people? That's like I have to be at works Oh my god he is flat

Oh this wasn't a joke was it No Guess I'll Fire out a way to get your truck to you tomorrow Matt Can I shake your head no No you don't Apparently not Hand me the whiskey Betty

I was supposed to go build a fence all afternoon Why were you building a fence? I got shit to do. Like your gate? No, like a goat pen. Me and Matt have cousins. We got goats. Oh, dude, your goats look cute.

They are cute as shit, and they need a bigger pen, and I was going to go work on it this afternoon, but I was like, yeah, I'll be done at like 2.33. It's 4. And we're pouring shots. Tell Merrill I'm sorry. The behind the scenes that we got kind of wrestled into was we were told we were filming one podcast yeah, that's true Yeah, and we were now here. We are we got fucking beer pong of

Glenn Gouley over here I'm making thousand bucks today though I would have if I got to film Fine I would have if I got to film. They're fine. Shut the fuck up. You didn't say words. How did, how did, how did, what in the mother? What?

Why am I? How? What? Fatty. Merry Christmas, everyone. We're running a business. We're running a business. When does fast grocery delivery through Instacart matter most?

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Running or ruining? It's just a couple letters apart. Okay, we have like a happy and a foley. Well, great. See you guys tomorrow. Well, you'll see Batty tomorrow. I feel like this is like fast traveling in a video game. It's like, I'll see you in six hours.

We're fast traveling right now. We just wake up like, uh-oh. I fast traveled to Bear County Jail. We're not in Bear... Wait, Bernie's not in Bear County, right? Are we not in Bear County now? I think this might be Bear County. This is Bernie.

I think we're Bear County. This is Bernie. But it's not Bernie County. There's no Bernie County. What? It might be Bear County. Yeah, the lines are... I think we're in Bear County.

Bernie's... So it's split? Yeah. Counties and cities aren't the same thing. I found out a lot about Texas counties recently with the whole political thing. Vermont is just like a city's in a county.

You don't get splitsies. You don't get halfsies. That's true. Vermont's like 40 square feet. Vermont also would fit in San Antonio eight times over I don't know if that's necessarily correct, but I mean there's 500,000 people in Vermont the entire state the people Dude there's like yeah Here we go fucking hell, we're sending you that money instantly tomorrow. This is worth it.

I'm just asking a stupid question first. Do we have any water in this building at all? No. Wait, we don't? The water runs. Like from the faucet. The water runs with these colors. Cheers.

We're just shooting everything. Like from the faucet. The water runs with these colors, don't brother! Cheers! Faucet, cheers! Ah, batty! Oh, oh, we're just shooting everything? Okay. Yeah, uh. Oh, fucking hell. Thank you, Drop Tide. That was a mistake. Yup.

See you guys tomorrow. There's two, by the way. Fuck you so hard. You're the one trying to get you $500 and you so hard trying to give you 500 dollars no no no no no no i just watched that fucking triple shot you just tried to pass off as a single shot i got halfway through that i'm like we all did that i'm getting fucking whiskey boarded over here we all did that brandon no no that second shot was No one was half one was full. No, this one was fine this one I took a full shot I look at there's still a goddamn shot left. Let me see Drink it you won't Wait, what's your right? Yeah, he's right. I should have put it operation. Okay Do like half of that and then you're good. Do half of that and you're good. Just drink it. It's fine. That's what Eli's

Brandon, just do half of that and you're good. You know what Santa brought for everybody for Christmas this year? Hangover? Santa brought for Christmas forever a hangover. This is the Christmas episode that goes up on Christmas

Day. Everyone's gonna be like, oh, this family time, I can't wait. If you're spending this family time watching Unsubscribe, you're probably as fucked up as we are. You don't have any family or kids. I still have both. What am I doing here? I gotta race this home.

You're gonna race this home? Race this home. Race this home. You're gonna get home before the booze hits. You ever actually had to race the booze home? You heard of racist home. You heard of

racist home. I got a racist home and he just walks away. It makes no sense. I have a racist home. I just like, I'm cutting back in my mind

to the abandoned mansion with like Mel Gibson just chilling on your couch. On the phone? The abandoned mansion did have some racist stuff in it. Kanye would have loved it. Really? Yeah, I put it in the first episode.

It had a big swastika, and it said, F the Jews painted on the floor in one of the rooms. Oh, that's rude. Why'd they just write the letter F? Flock! Flock! Yeah, you know what? Actually, maybe cut that.

I do not say that. Cut that. God! Santa's putting his boot down. When you offend Batty, you know you've gone too far. That's not true. I'm the easiest to offend here.

I'm the most PC motherfucker here. When me and Batty agree and I'm like, yeah, Flock, maybe cut that. That's your language. When Brandon's like, never mind, never mind. When Brandon looks at Batty,

is that joke okay? Yeah. You worry about him. See, there's Brandon looks at Batty, is that joke okay? You worry about everything. There's the scale of Batty reactions. There's, oh no, which is like, that's fine. Then there's the, oh, I'm going to move out of frame, but it's okay to still be in camera.

Then there's the, cut everything. There went the senator. There are the jokes you say in private, which you know, like we're all just having a good time. Then there's the things like, oh, we can't do that. I love the comment section because it is like, oh, Batty is the voice of reason. But when he's not around.

When Batty is the adult in the room, leave the room. I'm always the adult in the room here. My brother in Christ, you have a fucking pantry full of gushers. Oh my God. You're right. I don't. You're the adult and you are the...

Oh my God. I never thought about that. I'll never forget the time I moved to Texas where it was the big freeze. Do you remember this? That's my favorite story. Oh, 100%.

2021 or 2020. It was the... Ah, fuck. 2020. It was the beginning of 2021. Yeah. No, it was 2021. Oh, yeah, you of 2021. No, it was 2021. Oh, yeah, you're right.

I moved to Texas, moved my entire fucking life to Texas. The day it started fucking snowing. That big snowpocalypse that Texas had. All the fucking stores were closed. Everything was closed down. Roads were closed. Couldn't get food or whatever. Ended up making it

to Batty's house because everybody was just going to to baddies because he was the only one who still had power i was literally the only you were every you're in like a hospital area right i was right next to a hospital so i had power i had water i had heat and the only thing he didn't have was actual fucking adult food i had white claw like diet white claw ranch water and a fucking Costco pack to feed a homeless shelter worth of gushers and root roll ups

and tostito chips and luckily you and Cody cooked like a pot roast no Cody brought that oh never mind so Cody cooked a pot roast and that was the first warm food I'd had in like three days I want to go into that night I just don't know how much we can go into that night

how much do you want to Brandon I know what you're getting at Brandon was like four hours and not being able to go inside I was just like man that looks like a good time. Me and my ex-girlfriend at the time

were persisting. We were living on a diet at that point. I had convinced this poor girl to move across the country with me. We get there and it's completely snowed in. I thought it was supposed to be hot here. Yeah. In Texas, there's too much snow.

Everything's ice. It's negative eight. No power. Pipes are bursting everywhere except for my house literally i was the only one with a vehicle that could get around somehow in my Volvo all-wheel drive i was on the road like looking around i was like oh everybody's cars off the road i had my Vermont tires still on my Raptor so i was like Raptors you have like a puddle in the road and they're allergic to traction i had them vermont all seasons still dude because i had one winter

with it but yeah no she we were living on a diet of like trail mix adderall and alcohol for like four fucking days because the only stores that were open in texas were liquor stores and i'm like what the shit i can't buy food but tito's or two does is fine yeah now we ended up like staying in the car because she wanted to drive home for like four hours i had to sit there convincing her that that was a terrible fucking idea it was great it was like and we were like me and maddie were like i would look outside and like is she trying to convince him right now i think he i think that's what's going on it's like you can totally go home right now and brian is like i don't know the last 18 cars wrecked backing out of the stop sign and we i

don't think this is a good idea it's like well we have just tried oh yeah i had to do like a fucking controlled spin down the hill i'm like fast and furious in this shit. Like with no traction trying to figure out how not to wreck into shit. Fucking manage it. Because like we're doing an uncontrolled descent down a frozen hill. It was so bad he's fucking him because of the bikes. She didn't remember it. Then she asked to drive.

She's like, no, I can do it. I'm like, no! You can't! Did you have to walk back up the hill? I can do it. I'm like, no! You can't! Do you have to walk back up the hill? No, no. We were able to, because it was an incline up out of the neighborhood or whatever. Couldn't make it up that.

I'm like, I'm taking us back to Batty's house. I need to like, this is not going to work. And we parked out in front of your house and argued for like three hours. Yeah, I was like, how aren't they dead yet? It's like negative 20. It's like Alaska outside. And we're just like watching anime eating fruit loops Making eye contact with me as I say you're calm All worked out.

Do you ever get in those kind of relationship arguments where you just walk in with a thousand-yard stare? No, we never do. Yes. We can totally make a home. I'm so proud of you, man. Your vehicle is just a ballerina. You have a perfect relationship all the time.

All jokes aside, you seem to have a pretty good thing going on. We do, yeah. My wife's pretty solid. What's the worst moment you and Mare had? That's what he actually paid a thousand bucks for. This was an investment. I know how my payments work. Eli's like, stonks.

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trusted by thousands of businesses? Get your first month free at kinsta.com. That's K--n-s-t-a.com kinsta simply better hosting the first two are free the next four that you drink on your own that's how it starts he gets you in the first two it's a buy two get two free jesus fuck So there was this pool boy. What was his name? Do you need a new pool boy? Yeah, I mean, me and him hooked up a couple times. Oh, fuck.

Do you have a hot tub in your new pool? We do, yeah. Can I come hang on your hot tub? For sure. Can I just show up in your hot tub? Tonight? Yes, please. That should be hilarious. You got to drive him home. I actually need anybody to come hang out in the hot tub so I can get a ride home. That'd be great. Thanks. I'm just going to show up.

Your neighbors, she seemed really nice. Can she drive me home? The old lady? She would. She would. Dude, f*** to drive. That's the greatest. That's maybe like not.

Doc's the name of your neighbors? But the greatest neighbors of all time, minus they called him 40. They are great. She said, you're so young. And I was like, yeah. She's like, what are you, like in your 40s? And I was like, what? How old are you now?

Like 39, 40? I mean, I'm close to 40, but I'm not in my 40s. I'm 38. You're 30? Wait, you're older than Eli? No, wait, I'm 37. I just turned 37. Okay, so you're 10 years older than me then.

He's a few months younger than me. 10 years? Well, I'm 27. Actually, 27. Can I just say, Brandon is freaking killing it. Good job. No, you're killing it. You were where I was 10 years ago.

No, I was not. I was broke. I was negative net worth in vet school 10 years ago. Oh, wait, no, I just graduated. So I was still negative net worth. So here's actually a story I don't think I've ever told the internet. I remember why I asked for more shots. I'm 32.

I'm not doing great. I got to start a YouTube channel. It's almost like people have been telling you that for fucking three years. By 32, I was doing really good by 32, Batty. So you got to figure it out. By 27, I was not. One of my older channels that nobody knows about. Oh, here we go.

I started at the same time. I was still doing gun content and stuff like that. I grew it to like 4,000 or 5,000 subs and deleted it. But I remember I was tracking on the same trajectory as you were. Oh, really? In the very, very early days. Just delete it. Because I was in high school at the time

and I'm like, ah, you know what? Like, I'm just, I'm bored of this. I don't want to dedicate the time. I didn't treat it seriously because there was no money in GunTube at that time.

Yeah, no. There was no money. Nope. Nowadays, everybody's like, I want to be a YouTuber. Back then, it's like, YouTubing is a cool hobby. Yeah.

Because there's no fucking money. It was, you were the weirdo. Yeah, for sure. I didn't tell anybody about, I had 100,000 subs before I told anybody about it because I was embarrassed yeah really yeah because there was it was looked down on like that was like a oh i remember i was a veterinarian i had a respectable career and like i didn't tell anybody about youtube and i had a hundred thousand subscribers and i was embarrassed

about it that's that i didn't know that crazy, these shots are paying off. I treat that like, well, I kind of like, I oscillate back and forth because I think that's one of my biggest regrets is not keeping up the YouTube thing back in the day. What do you mean? Oh, like the first channel? Yeah, the first channel. Well, that was like my third at that point. I've been doing YouTube for like fucking 13 years or whatever. When did you start? What year?

2006, 2007. Yeah, that's when I, so like when it was first, yeah, when it was first around. I've been, I've done multiple YouTube channels, always deleted them because I just got bored because low attention span.

But like, I regret not keeping them open, but I'm also glad because I'm glad I, That stuff's not still out there? No, I'm glad I didn't start getting success before I matured a little. Yeah, for sure.

Because that, that would have been a bad move. Like, if you, you look at all the guys who get famous at like fucking 19. Wait, you guys matured a little. Yeah, for sure. Because that would have been a bad move. You look at all the guys who get famous at fucking 19. Wait, you guys matured? That's the idea. Yeah, me too. Totally.

You tried to. I'm in a Santa suit. That. The vodka. Cork. Vodka, cork. You guys are so mature for your age. Yeah, if I would have made money and got internet famous like yeah at 20 yeah yeah you would have done a lot of dumb stuff and it would have sucked yeah i still do dumb

shit but a lot of dumb shit a lot less a lot just imagine imagine that it's calculated now is it like yeah well kind of it's more calculated it's more calculated than it would have been before it would have been like i would have been like whistling dickhead longer than mine and yeah you're right imagine being 13 13 and rich 13 i kind of feel bad for him a little bit who's 13 no but those individuals that get rich young fucking like ryan like text me all these oh he's never mind yeah i i kind of feel bad for him a little bit because like i i really do think like somewhere in there there's a nice kid and he's like he's just he's almost your age i know but he's lindiesel yeah i knew it i just i think he blew up way too fast way too quick i think that

happens a lot pewdiepie did a good job of growing with that. You have the individuals that grew with their audience really well. How old is PewDiePie? He's our age now. He's 34. But I mean, Ryan's doing a good job too. The kid, Ryan. Who? The unboxing kid?

Yeah. Ryan. What's his name? kid yeah um ryan like ryan's world right yeah ryan's world i have no idea who this is so ryan boxing kid or whatever that did like basically everybody's parents fucked him up. No, but he has like his brothers, sisters, and then the family has this very good relationship because I've had young kids that watch them. I think Eli's the drunkest out of everyone. Yes, absolutely. He always is.

But I can remember Ryan's world. How many views? That's right, yeah. How many views do you think he gets? Ryan who? On each video? Or a total? He's got his phone. Of course he remembers it now. No, I haven't looked it up yet.

On each video? What are you asking? I don't know. Let's consult the nightmare brick. I bet he gets six to ten on each video. The nightmare brick. Dude, I seriously started like exclusively referring to my phone as the nightmare brick. I hate it.

Every time I look at it, it's like, oh. Just not as, I mean, he's been killing it for 10 years, so he's probably falling off. Okay, so I have an honest question. That brings up something interesting. Is there ever a point where you think that there will be enough with YouTube where you're like, I have made it enough. I think I would like to retire.

Okay, here. Eli, I just asked a question. I'm going to answer it. I have an answer for that. I want to know. Eli, you don't matter anymore. I need to know question okay I'm gonna answer it I have an answer for that go I want to know I want to know no yeah Eli you don't know I need to know this shutting the fuck up go I have an answer I have made it enough that I could retire on YouTube right now yeah and be happy but I have small kids and if I retired I don't know what I would do yeah and so I'm gonna work for the next 10 years that's when my youngest kid will leave. And then I will actually retire.

So I got, I got, are you going to do once you retire? I don't know. Don't keep busy. I can't wait to move into your house once you retire. Cause you'll need a new friend. But yeah,

I got, I got 10 more years of YouTube in me and then I'm actually done. I've got two more before YouTube shuts you down. I got big plans. They can't shut me down. I'll hear yours because I can go up as a...

You've got enforcers in Silicon Valley. It's super interesting because you have a non-parent idea and then... But you have an entrepreneur and I think your brain

is more like me. For mine is like parent and that maybe your... Maybe. A lot. But it is the idea of leaving a legacy of when you die. Mine has always been this of leaving a legacy of when you die.

Mine has always been this. Leave a legacy. When you die, you leave one generation that remembers you. For the most part, when people pass, it is two years, and then you're fucking forgotten. If you can leave a generational gap of when you pass, and you're like hey go back and watch these videos and you you are remembered for a generation that is a good mark in the world you're not going to be like elon or these individuals gang's con whatever but gang is gone to me to be honest i don't

care like as long as i had a good time and i feel like in my heart of hearts i made an impact that's okay it's making an impact that's what the it's not like my like as long as people remember me i'm like no as long as i can look back let's say you get this fictional like last 60 seconds looking from a third person like you know what i had I had a good run. I'm happy with that. Like, I'm okay with that. Someone, an older guy told me one time that you start off trying to make a living. And then once you figure out how to make a living, you try to make a difference. And so I think, yeah, that's kind of what we're all.

Sheesh. Yeah. Isn't that cool? Yo, that's some real shit. That's why old people are cool to talk to. I love it. I can't wait to make a living. Someday, Daddy will make a living.

He's on stage one y'all motherfuckers talking about making an impact I just wanna make rent rent's good but that's it booyah man I need to start a youtube channel sounds great

stage one is amazing. Can I get your tutorial? It's almost like you're personal friends with a bunch of rich and successful YouTubers that would love to help you in your journey. And you just don't talk to them about it or do it. Merry Christmas. Santa's in his cups right now. I Haven't tried Betty will try eggnog so we'll demo just a little demo They're good Whoa! Okay, it's like a cum- Sluice everywhere. Sluice everywhere. Sluice everywhere. All right, let me slowly pour this one.

There, good. It's so good. There's none. Whiskey, cool. Brandy and whiskey. And rum. And rum. Are we shooting it?

No, it's eggnog. Newly teamed? You drink it. Oh, there's nothing in this. Yeah, it's good. We just taste good. It's 14.75%. It's eggnog!

It's wine. It's a wine. I thought you were pouring like a shot of liquor. No. It's 14.75%. It's eggnog. It's wine. It's wine. I thought you were pouring like a shot of liquor. Baddie cummed on the table. Do you have a towel? You got a hat on. I would not wear this anymore.

That was the determining factor. That was my hat. But this is a good point. It's like your view, your view. You're looking at these like hey, here's my Here's how I want to leave my mark in the world and I know a lot of people have that Which is crazy to me because like it's a mixture Photon you had to put up for No show them don't let this joke run oh I, but somebody bet me I wouldn't throw my watch.

Don't look at me when you say he did it. Look at that piece of crap on the ground over there. The shit that won't connect to my phone, that's super cool. Maybe I'll connect now. Cheers for your fucking eggnog, bro. I love eggnog. First time having eggnog in like years. Oh, this is it.

The day you finally ask for that big promotion. You're in front of your mirror with your Starbucks coffee. Be confident. Assertive. Remember eye contact. But also remember to blink. Smile, but not too much. That's weird.

What if you aren't any good at your job? What if they dim out you instead? Okay, don't be silly. You're smart. You're driven. That's weird. What if you aren't any good at your job? What if they demo you instead? Okay. Don't be silly. You're smart. You're driven. You're going to be late if you keep talking to the mirror. This promotion is yours.

Go get them. Starbucks. It's never just coffee. That's pretty good. That's so good. That was good. That was pretty good. That was delicious.

I love eggnog. It's okay. It's very viscous. I'm going to poop a lot later later it does have dairy in it i know that trust is right on it i know dairy dairy cream real dairy cream yeah oh yeah that's gonna sorry like my bell so i know a lot of like uh like hispanics and whatnot have issues with uh lactose intolerance is that true i think so. I didn't know that. Did you just make that up? Mine is because of that.

That's why it's like a quote-unquote white supremacist dog whistle. No shit, pun intended. Yeah, no shit. Literally no shit. He's not joking. No, I'm literally not kidding. White people process milk way better. Did you not know this?

Is that what my? Literally, you know why people from European countries are the only individuals that decided hey look at this fucking weird utter thing Okay, what happens when you fucking jerk it on how milk this weird white shit come out what happens? We drink remember how we all love fucking sucking on titties. What if we sucked on like fucking cow titties? Wow. They can't say no. And they made an entire industry out of it. But it's good.

I hear you, but it's good. Oh, I got a shit. There's a reason it's Louis Pasteur and not Louise Pasteur. See, my question was, are Asians the same way? Like, do they have that lactose intolerance problem? Asians are the worst. See, that's what I was curious about. There was none.

In general or just at milk? No. Well, if you look at college test scores, like they're clearly better at most things. Oh, my God. That was $1,000 well spent. He gets up and leaves. He's like, I'm out of here. That was my money.

You lose $10 for every second you're out of the frame. I think Matt Best said this to me once. He's like, oh, I can't wait to hang out with my friends. I guess we have to pay him to hang out. I was like, man, I got to stream tonight. I'm oh, I can't wait to hang out with my friends I guess we have to pay him to hang Like man, I gotta stream did I'm sorry guys I can hang out Pay our friends that's the funny part everybody's like you're such a fucking BRCC fucking cock you sold out or whatever I'm like, you know much black rifles ever goddamn paid me It's like I'm sorry, I think these people are rad because i actually

know them as personal humans weird yeah he's like i just enjoy their they're just company at this point it's fucking crazy ass concept crazy ass concept you're welcome for all the engagement that one sentence just by the way i can already hear the angry commenters like, like you sons of bitches. If Evan Hafer would just leave Jerusalem for a fucking hour. Fuck. I'm sorry. I just fucking enjoy hanging out with these people. Dude.

I have friends. It's crazy. I met dude trading out this Matt friends trading out this group of friends. Never in my life. I would trade out Matt. What? I would never. I love you.

Well, no. Okay. So is this like a Brittany Griner Lord of War thing? Like, what are we, uh, who are we trading him out for? Trading me? Yeah. We're trading you. Can I, can I, can I get a little spicy for a second?

I would love. Oh, batty. I actually prefer not. Let's just keep it chill. Okay. So there's been so much shit about this Brittany for the Lord of War. I don't know. I don't know his name. spicy for a second i would love no batty i actually prefer not let's just keep it chill okay so there has been so much shit about this britney for the lord of warg i don't know his name i don't give a fuck to be honest uh sure victor something i'm sure wait what actually victor it's literally his

name i am out of the loop on this so did you not know hold on for the audience and apparently eli do you know who the the wmba star Brittany Greiner? She got arrested in Russia smoking weed. Never mind. That's how long she's been in Russian prison? I was told it was supposed to be five. No, but how long has she been there?

It's been like nine months. I thought it was over a year. I don't think so. Recently, we traded a prisoner release between her recently at time of recording but yes yeah true uh for the lord of war victor something yes i've been in american prison we traded a russian prison it was a prisoner swap with russia for this wnba player and everybody is so goddamn mad

over this marine that's there furious with them i have a very very very controversial take on this but i'll i'll let you finish i like it both everyone is furious because we haven't helped this marine he's been there for three four years that i don't know he's been it's four years since a different administration four years uh he was he's been there for two years as of the last administration and people go to jail for espionage he used to be a marine i didn't hear about that like he basically he got caught carrying too much cash into russia yeah and uh he everyone's like why aren't we saving this Marine from Russia this Marine stole a bunch of other Marines identities uh he he did a bunch of really fucked up shit got

dishonorably discharged kicked out and he went to the UK I believe or not the UK uh the EU sorry Europe for a while dishonorable discharge for those who don't know like carries the same weight as like a felony it's it's honestly almost worse in some cases it a while. So a dishonorable discharge, for those who don't know, carries the same weight as a felony. It's honestly almost worse in some cases. If you get a dishonorable discharge, it's bad. You literally can't buy a gun. You get a dishonorable discharge. I didn't know that. On the 4473, they ask you,

have you ever been dishonorably discharged from the armed forces? It carries the same weight as a felony. I will give this for an example. I have friends that got busted for cocaine, marijuana, and stuff. And wartime military got kicked out for other honorable discharge. Oh, he's an honorable. You have to really fuck up to get that dishonorable, other honorable medical. I have a buddy that fucking, oh my God. I have a buddy that fucking oh, oh my god. I have a buddy that fucking

Friendly fired somebody And this is not in a wartime like we're in a firefight this is like raining this is oops outside of combat something report And everyone was like, what the fuck? And still got an other than honorable. You had to really fuck up to get a dishonorable

discharge. And this guy had a dishonorable and then he had felony stacked on top of it for other shit, which is all over the internet. He's a piece of shit. He's a massive piece of shit in the amount of stuff I've seen online being like, why aren't we rescuing this American war hero? I get that on the surface.

Yes. I, I didn't, I'll be honest. I didn't do any digging. Yeah. I have no clue about this guy. What I will say is that I am glad I could give a fuck less about WNBA

check. Absolutely. Um, I would have preferred. She actually, she like, she flat out fucking hates America Very terrible she's like basically fuck the United States when she got back. Yeah, she got back

I'm like you know what I wish you had rotted in jail forever I'm glad Victor bout is out of prison I'm glad Place when Victor bout got out of prison. Ow. Um. Did you hear his interview after getting out of jail? No! It was so fucking good. Like, it took me by surprise, because I was originally in that crowd, though.

I was like, kind of a little upset. I'm like, wow, Jesus Christ, we did what? And then I heard his interview, I'm'm like this guy's based as fuck because he literally just said like somebody asked him like do you hate America he's like no I don't hate Americans I think Americans like the rural Americans I met in prison are very very agreeable easy to deal with. I enjoy them and I honestly pity them because they're losing their country. He's like, they have these value systems, they're Christian values, they're families, they're this, they're whatever. He's like,

they're losing that and then America isn't what it used to be. And I feel bad because they're watching their country disintegrate in front of their eyes. I'm like, god damn! This guy's more American than most of the people I fucking know. Like, fucking hell.

Do you want to move to Texas, dude? I've got some guns you can move. And Brandon gets his FFL revoked. It was that quick. That was the line.

There it is. ATF, open up. Aw. Little three plates. Like, well, yeah. Man, open up three plates like well you and 30 out six black tips are wild brother fucking crazy but i'm like man i i i saw the babylon b post where it's like yeah britney griner gets to

return to a life of obscurity being an nba star as most people said the one comedian it was like name the team she played on go i couldn't name one wba team batty name a single team don't care the sparks that's all i know i know that you do shit he he studied one sparks and the seattle it might even be the seattle sparse i don't know nobody fucking knew before before any of this the only thing the wnba was was a joke i love when they did that audit they were like oh yeah so the wnba thinks that they're underpaid because they make this much and the nba makes this much but if you adjust that for their viewership the wa wnba makes like four times more than the nba view for view people do not understand that key component on viewership like basically

the wnba like oh i see what you're saying how many million dollars it makes 36 but it's like if you adjust it for the views yeah i saw a uh i saw a post and they were saying that if they actually they want to get paid you know percentage wise just like the nba gets and they were saying that if they actually, they want to get paid, you know, percentage wise, just like the NBA gets. And they were like, if you get paid a percentage wise, you have to pay us like $20,000 per game you play. Like you actually, the WNBA loses money every year and you have to pay us.

That's what people do. The WNBA is basically a charity. Yeah. Why does that sound so aggressive when you say it like that? It is. I don't even think it sucks it's just objective fact Santa needs to give slumps and clothes if I bought

courtside tickets to the WNBA team of San Antonio that none of us know even though we live here I should be able I should be able to write that off on my taxes is there a Samsung Vision AI television I should be able to write that off on my taxes. Is there a... Samsung Vision AI televisions transform screens into intelligent solutions. From the shows that make us laugh to those that make us cry.

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Team in San Antonio? We're looking at them. I would know if there was, right? I've lived here my whole life. Would we? I don't know. Have you been a... I've lived here my whole life. Would we? I don't know. Have you been here my whole life? I've lived here my whole life. The Spurs, right? That's an actual NBA team?

Yes. That's a men's NBA team. Okay. But I don't know. I got it. I feel like if those are the NBA, I would know. Oh, my God. We do have.

I told you. How have I never heard about this? Holy shit. We have a WNBJ. No, we don't. Yes, we do. San Antonio what? No, guess it.

San Antonio. I don't know. What do you mean, guess it? The Spurs. San Antonio's Lady Spurs. Close. It starts with an S. Go.

The Spurs. Sparks. Sparks. The Spurs. The Spurs and the Spurs. Brandon. I have no idea. The Stars. Okay. Wait. The Stars. The Sparks is what I said. Oh, I was like, Sparks and the Skirts. Brandon. I have no idea. The Stars.

Okay. Wait. The Stars. The Sparks is what I said. Oh, I was like, Sparks and the Skirts. I honestly don't remember. Oh my God. Is it the Stars or the Sparks?

Are they doing good this season? I just don't know. Do you care? Do you actually give a fuck? I actually really want to know. Yeah, long story short. I didn't look at that part. I'm pretty.

Who the fuck we're trading this guy for? I do. Because it sucks. Why? Because I want him this guy for. Because it sucks. Why? Because I want him out of jail. Well, no, okay, but Brandon. Spicy takes, like I said. Brandon has spicy takes. On the one in three chance Victor Bout is watching this episode of Unsubscribe,

if you'd like to do some business, my telegram is in the description. Can I put that in the description? Can I put that in that in the description there's gonna be 40 other telegrams I'll put his telegram in the description hit me up boo boo or you can come on unsubscribe and talk for 450 line is a little fucked up in me he's absolutely would you let Brittany

Griner come on no no it's not even my fucking podcast. I also wouldn't let random fucking dishonorable disarmed Marine. I don't even know. You know she flew you, right? Yeah, when she got back from Russia, they flew her to the Air Force Base here. Oh, shit.

Yeah, they actually had a... They shook hands and shit. Did you not read that? No, I just knew she came here. I feel like I saw a picture of the exchange. There was like a legit exchange. No, no, just Victor. No, but Lord of War.

Yeah, it was like a legit exchange. There's photos of them. That's gotta be hilarious because he's like a normal height and she's like fucking seven foot or whatever. You heard her talk? Holy cow. It sounds like this. Worse. It's going to be hilarious because he's like a normal height and she's like fucking seven foot or whatever. Yeah. You heard her talk? Yeah. Holy cow.

It sounds like this. Worse. Yeah, I'm happy to be back in America. It's crazy deep. Batty, have you not? No, I don't care to be honest. I don't think she is. I have no idea.

You hate this? She's just like that vocally anti-americans like you you know russia isn't exactly what it used to be but you still got locked up there for it wasn't good before but now like even like the new russia it's like new coke it's like You still almost I'm gonna just keep drinking. I don't remember where I am. I wish I didn't remember where I was. Unfortunately. This is why I was like, let's just drink more.

And this is like everything way better. Let's just drink more while the AC doesn't fucking work. I know. It's definitely not on. No, 100%. If I wouldn't have taken these sleeves off. If you wouldn't have taken these sleeves off. It's fucking hot. Why do you have a giant bruise on your fucking weird.

I was wrestling. It's almost like somebody like punched his arm while they were trying to cut your sleeves off. Yeah, that wasn't there in the first episode. Now it just popped up. Don't blame me for that. Who's. Are you okay? Blink twice. If I'm okay't there in the first episode. Now it just popped up. Don't blame me for that. Are you okay? Blink twice. If I'm okay or if I'm not okay. Does Mare hit you?

That's all she can do. All I hear is just sobbing. Don't tell Mare. That's what don't tell Mare actually means. She's like, don't tell Mare. She grabs you like this. I'm sorry. You guys just keep telling me.

I've been telling you for years to not tell her. You're a bruised cop. Mayor freaking hates that. This is like a Meat Canyon Demolition Ranch parody. We have enough time to pay for an episode of this. We go to events and all the fans just want to go up to Mare and be like, hey, Matt has something I haven't told you about. And Mare's like, great, awesome.

She's like, everyone says that. Are you tired of the don't tell Mare thing yet? It's just annoying to you now? It's mildly annoying to me, but it's super annoying to Mare. She hates it. I don't say it anymore. It's still at the end of every outro, but I personally don't say it anymore. No, it's at the very end of the

outro. You have to watch all the shit until... It's 2023 almost. I need to go ahead and make a new outro. So that'll be good. You just had a new outro. I made it a year ago. Between that one and the last outro.

How long did your last outro go? It was at least two years, maybe more, yeah. See. Because I know how things get with the whole. Parasocial. We're AK-50. Yeah. And it's funny shit to me.

Do you want to slap a motherfucker every time? I'll have these kids. I will never forget. There was this one kid who came up to me. I say kid. He's fucking like 20. A kid. He just goes like.

Oh. I'm sorry. we're AK-50 I'm like oh it's on my wall at the shop just deadpan he just goes like I just watched the light drain from his eyes like yeah sorry

it was glowing when you post that thing on twitter about you dying, some of the comments were, now we'll never get AK-15. I laughed at those. I was waiting for the response like, like you were fucking getting it anyway.

I was like, that's pretty good. Oh yeah, so I died. Oh my God. I forgot about that. What was that? We started talking about that and then Eli did the intro for the third time. I died. And I lived.

Fucking Santa Claus will fucking kill him. Kill him. I bet you won't. You fucking red beer fuck. And that's how this gets struck. Out of all the things we've said, like you get struck for death threats. Cause you literally told your co-host you'd fucking kill him. I bet you a thousand dollars you don't actually kill him. That's fair. You got a grand lying around right now?

I do. He's supposed to pay me. Eli's like, box cutter! This homicide brought to you by Raid Shadow Legends. Raid Shadow Legends. Fuck! Fuck! I hope he gets that automatically without me saying that. I'm like, fuck, why'd you leave that in there? Why did you die? Sorry, I'm still recovering from that. I'm like, fuck, why'd you leave that? Why did you die?

Sorry, I'm still recovering from that. Unexpectedly based. No, apparently I died fighting in Ukraine. That was great. Was it someone who looked like you or what? So what I was told, so there's a gentleman.

Yep. Just like Brandon. So what I was told There's a gentleman Yep Just like Brandon There's a gentleman who's in Ukraine Who apparently had the same name Like he literally was Like his name was Brandon Herrera It was what I was told anyway And he got killed

No I think he's still alive is the funny part He was taking a picture in Ukraine And so I did on a gun meme review The whole thing about uh like garan thumb and post malone technically fighting for wagner group and you in ukraine for russia and like the news like newsmax reporting about it wait so he actually believed it newsmax literally did a debunking article about garan thumb and post malone fighting for wagner group in uk Sweet. And then the guy who originally did the tweet that got viral did a tweet about me that got like 80,000 likes on Twitter. It was a lot.

It got big quick to where like my mother was calling me. Are you going to Ukraine, Brandon? She's like, you need to have them delete this. I'm like, yes, let me call the owner of the internet. Let me call ABC. Let's just unhook the tubes that are on the back end of the internet. Let me call Twitter. Let me call NBC. Let's just unhook the tubes that are on the back end of the internet. You see, Mom,

I haven't contacted the internet police recently. Friend. Idea. Oh, here we go. Oh, dear. Shut up. What is that smell?

Shut up. No, but I can... The smell. I can... Oh, I love this so much because it's gonna be good it is

you can tell by the way that it is it's not gonna be good it's not gonna be good can I can I do a VFX thing of us

and then announce this before this episode of you dying cause I can make it look really good sure cause I can do you kill me

grand thumbs oh I'm gonna deep fake Brandon into a just saving Private Ryan really good. Sure. Because I can do you. Kill me. Grand thumbs. Oh, I'm going to deep fake Brandon into a... Just saving Private Ryan? No. In one of the... No, in real life. Yeah.

In one of the war crime videos. Oh, dude. Deep fake me into that like sledgehammer killing. Yeah, that's too easy. What? Sledgehammer killing? I, that's too easy. What? The sledgehammer killing?

I don't know what you're talking about either. God. I feel like a piece of shit. I follow this shit pretty regularly. Oh, and it takes three seconds. I know the AI program now very well. Somebody murdered someone with a sledgehammer? Yeah.

The Ukraine Russia thing? Yeah. Yeah. One of the Wagner group dudes straight up executed a guy, like a defector or some shit like that. They executed him with a sledgehammer and they filmed it. And then they presented a member of Russian

parliament with a decorative sledgehammer. I'm dead fucking serious. There's a video of the presentation. They open up a nice case and it's a sledgehammer. Very not American style. Well, not American style. Well, not current America.

Is that World War II? God, this is when you want to go back in time and be like, hey, what happens if we had cell phones for one? That is the difference. People are like, we would never do that. It's like, bro, come on, man. You ain't read the same books I read.

Motherfucker, your grandfather had an ear Necklace like let's not like Pretend they were above this Let's be honest on this stuff It's real fucked up If you enjoy the Dr. Seuss version of history Yeah no we didn't do that but Could you do some Bunker Branding Christmas sweaters without sleeves

And have Eli cut them off That'd actually be sick I was gonna talk to Bunker about doing a Christmas sweater but it was too late. It was like a week ago. I was like yeah it's way too late. I'm like there's no way you can do that. I love how all of us are like hey let's wait until a week before Christmas.

Oh it's Christmas next week. We should sell something. Honest to God like Bunker's purpose is to know influencers. You should hit us up in October like hey do you want to do a Christmas sweater? July. Yeah probably. Bunkers like purpose is to know influencers Yeah, probably honestly yeah, but let me know I would love to do like an Afghan war rug with like the grenades and like a KS and shit like on a Christmas sweater I feel like that would be perfect. I Wrote that idea down if any of you take it. I will personally come to your

I've seen it. We're going to redact it from you. We're so terrible at this. This year's Christmas sweater? Is that an old one? Yeah. What one is that? It's sold out.

You can't have one. I have one from like two years ago. You bought it? Yeah. Dude, respect. I have bought more bunker merch years ago. Oh, you do? I do. You bought it? Yeah. Dude, respect. I have bought more Bunker merch than I'm proud to admit. Well, whenever you have merch that's cool, I'll buy it. Oh, man.

I'll get it for free. I made more on Bunker this year than I thought I did. You did? Yeah. Good job. A lot of people do. My computer crashed like two months ago. What are you?

You didn't get a new one? This makes sense. Okay. Just follow me on this. They sell new computers. You This makes sense. Okay, just follow me on this. They sell new computers. You need a computer to do work. Follow me on this. Fuck, guys.

My Google's gone. I need to use a new one. I didn't have my portal for Bunker. Okay. I didn't have my logins or anything. So just recently, I texted one of your guys who works there, who works with me.

And I just got it yesterday. I got it back online. I'm like, oh, damn. I looked at it yesterday i got it back online i'm like oh damn i looked at like what i made for the year i'm like okay we're doing all right yeah not doing bad good yeah bunkers bunker people sleep on merch people sleep on merch which is great no did you guys fucking crushing it we look at ours i'm like that's stupid subs doing good i haven't looked yeah heck yeah good job, you can blur this. Blur this out. Blur it. Blur it.

Blur the words. Blur those words out. Leave the audio, but can you just blur our cameras? Not at all. Blur his mouth and words. I don't want to see what Blaine's about to say. Blur the words. Just blur our faces and blur

our words are I'm gonna say it perfectly I'm imagining the cuts are like Always Sunny in Philadelphia I'm gonna say the N word Dude you got your fucking cut-offs right now We got drunk Matt, Matt do you want another shot? It's on you right now You don't have, you have a

500 bucks I'd take a shot yeah Let's do it No let's not That's what I'm talking about I could actually drive home right now No how much how much I would only do it for 500 bucks a shot But I'd rather just drive home

Baddie shut the fuck up I'd like to drive home I could drive right now And if I drink another shot I can't See you Baddie Put it down Brandon So we got one Baddie See you, Batty. Put it down. Put it down. Brandon.

So we got one. Batty? No. Batty, do a happy. I just cracked the white card. Batty, do a happy. Batty, now do a happy and spider. I will spider monkey my ass over this table and whoop you. He has to do a happy if you do one.

Batty? So help me God, Santa Claus, you fucking gender fuck. Alright, let's go! Let's fucking go! They're gonna gay wrestle! We're gonna do halfies? No! We're not gonna do halfies! Who said halfies?

Brandon was the full one, I was shit! No, you did halfie gay stuff. I didn't say I wanted a sh- Oh, whatever. You did, you literally asked for the bottle. No, you did happy gay stuff. Oh, whatever. You did, you literally asked for the bottle. No, I told him not to put it away. We're gonna do happy gay stuff. Just in case I change my mind.

How long have I been here? For four hours, five hours. Yeah, that's what I ask every fucking time I show up here. Podcast, yeah, an hour, no problem. It's never an hour. Then I'll go home and get some real work done. Matt, when have you ever showed up for just an hour? Never, but I always think it's just an hour. Two and a half hours straight so far.

Just recording, not including the fucking two hours of lunch we did before. Yeah, we did a lot of talking. I will say, they were very slow on the food today. Those are happies. It was good food today. It's almost like nobody shows up to an Irish pub at noon. Those are happies. Batty, grab your fucking happy.

All right. I'm mad. Dude,'re fucking happy. All right. I'm mad. This is Christmas. Everyone. Nobody likes Christmas. Now I love Christmas. Shut up. We have to.

We have a baddie showing up tomorrow delivering your Raptor. He doesn't have a Raptor. I want a Raptor, but I'll take a Raptor. You don't have a Raptor. You get baddies Rapt Raptor. I don't own a Raptor, but I'll take a Raptor. You don't have a Raptor. You get Batty's Raptor tomorrow. I thought you did. I did two years ago. I thought you were part of Raptor gang. When are you getting a new Raptor? I was the original

Raptor gang. You signed up for the new Raptor. I'm actually in line for a Bronco Raptor and a Raptor R. What is a Bronco Raptor? Is the Bronco Raptor actually happening? Yeah, I actually supposed to get it in January. Oh,

oh my God. I could talk about cars. Is them right now. So the Raptor R is not actually happening. Who knows when those come out, the supercharged 700 horse, whatever they push that back again, they push it back over and over.

The Bronco Raptors are actually allocated. And like, I have one supposed to be coming in January. I think I'm not going to lie. Like the Raptor I already have is already fucking allergic to the road yeah like the horsepower behind that if you put it in sport mode dude I was fish

tailing all they just want to they just want to be better than TRX and so I love my Raptor it's like fair Dodge was trolling them perfectly yes that was good that was excellent so yeah I don't know I just want the cyber truck I've had one for like a year and a half have you really yeah yeah they announced that serious break in two years I don't know I'm not

a youtuber I've had a grand down on one point about half grand I thought they were tuned about I thought it was a grant I thought it was a way I can put one never on it to over a great screwed I don't remember it was at least $1,000. I can put one down for a grant. I don't remember. It was through the Tesla website. It's cheap now. I've heard a lot of people saying, you're never going to fucking happen.

They're happening in three months. I feel like the truth is somewhere in the middle. I want to wrap one like a warthog and turn it into a technical with a fucking dish guy. Eli, Jesus fucking Christ. What are you doing there, brother? He high-fived me. I'll put it like that. into a technical with a fucking dish guy like fucking whoa eli jesus fucking christ what are you doing there brother he high-fived me that was like that yeah that's get it up why is he interrupting it it's way more awkward okay go again stop it

no one stalingrad was this high high Mexican Mexicans can do it Well by the time this comes out this will be Christmas Day, so the wife should have just happened Oh, I didn't know was that soon So we're talking this I can say I'm gonna say I don't even fuck talking about this on the 13 Do you guys high-five your white? Like this up as much as possible video games Apple

I know it's crazy video game, playstation xbox one more now that we're number one on Apple's charts again the Tarkov wipe is about to happen.

And I can say for sure it's happening before the 29th or 28th. Okay, good. Interesting. I know you don't give a fuck. Drewski gives a fuck though. And he's important. I thought it was happening on the 30th. So like the fact that it's happening earlier is I might have to come home a

day early. Yeah, no. So they're doing drops again on twitch which is a really big deal it's when people get free gear sweet you should literally just matt just stream twice and you don't give a between the 29th and the 7th oh i'm definitely gonna play tarkov yeah the last time you'll have 70,000 to 300,000 concurrent viewers. Please steal everyone from Tarkov and make it you are the Tarkov. 300,000 concurrent viewers. You will steal. That's like to be real.

That's number one on the entire platform. Twitch. Just playing Tarkov, you will kill. Oh, if you stole that position. Let me know. Let me know. I'll tell BSG you want to play Targa for a day. Hold up.

Who's BSG? Battlestate games. They made the game. Yeah, tell them. Nick, you will steal every view on the entire platform. We will die from that. Holy shit. Because you don't give a fuck about the game.

No, I totally care. But the wipe's happening probably just before Christmas So the last time that Tarkov wiped I was not single so I couldn't dedicate like 72 hours straight You need 72 hours straight absolutely. Yeah, that this time around Do do you want to come over my house just stream do you want to stream together the entire time? We can. I have 16 PCs in my house right now. I'll come up to your place then. I legitimately have four PCs set up in my streamer right now. I'm stoked.

You want to stand up in 69, Matt? Who's upside down? Which one's upside down? You are. I'm holding you. Maddie's already got a body pillow. It's not that hard. Bring it out. Bring it out. Dude, when you were like, you just have this. You are I'm holding He's already got a body pillow Not that hard bring it out bring it out. Do I when you're like you just have this I was like it's in my truck already

Official demo ranch body pillow. Yeah, you might have the only only I don't know if it's the only only now I promise you Only only but like I think I'm the only one that you physically touched and I've touched it a lot. Yeah a lot This is why Christmas episode is gonna be so much better Christmas everyone Why are you guys watching this instead of hanging out with your families? Calm. It's not calm. It's not calm. Thank you for watching unsubscribe for the second time! Wait is this the end? This is the end right now.

Is it the end? Oh fuck! Thank you for watching unsubscribe we'll see you next time! Fuck you! The cops... That happened. We'll see you next time. Love you! we'll see you next time love you

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