Unsubscribe Podcast - 86 - NERD ALERT ft. Your Narrator

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Starting point is 00:00:35 Testing. Perfect. Testing. You're good. 100%. Aha. I would f***ing yes, please, dear baby. Do it. Harder. Faster. Stronger. I would yes please dear baby do it

Starting point is 00:00:45 harder faster stronger sweetly better choke it harder better stronger faster right right is that right that punk yeah yeah uh uh better faster stronger

Starting point is 00:01:01 remember the yeah yeah with the words on, and they would like rotate their hands Yeah, like early. What was it? When was that? I was like 2003 or something. Yeah, like early 2000 YouTube It just started and really good. Let's just get in scantily clad and then we'll do the finger Looks like God you guys are recorded three minutes Listen here editor with content his name's flock. We like him names flock flock. Oh That's fun, he's not oh He's not fun. Is he all business? Very. Liar! Oh. Flipp is like, shut the f*** up. Got it. Flipp was like that. And then we got Cranberry Juice.

Starting point is 00:01:51 That's a cool f***ing wall background too. Right? The wall came out great. It took months to f***ing get here, but. I have tism. Autism. Autism. Aww. Autism. Cute. He's like our scapegoat. My son son got it too he got it bad though yeah but he got he went for autism you're like happy i'm not even joking

Starting point is 00:02:14 not like call of duty autistic like he's just like medically diagnosed oh can i fly to tokyo that will take 12 hours and 30 minutes the tallest buildings are x y and z like it's those weird numbers you're like dope bro how the f do you know that it's what i do he's like a superhero that can't fight. He's like a superhero? The worst superhero ever. You suck as a superhero. You're a fantastic son, but Jesus, you need work as a superhero. He takes one, like they put him on like a police raid.

Starting point is 00:02:57 He looks like one time through like an abandoned building. He goes, there's 37 people in there, all with like at least 37, no no wait 42 AK-47s in the back and you're like oh can you just sniffing them out yeah can you see through walls just through one window he's like I know all the numbers what yes daddy guy number four's gun will jam this is what we do father

Starting point is 00:03:20 this is what we do say hi to Eli it's racially ambiguous daddy that guy's fucking ridiculous father that's harder to rhyme but he's a really nice guy welcome to unsubscribe hey guys thanks for watching this podcast um make sure wherever you're listening or watching, whether it's on YouTube, Castro, Spotify, Apple, Google, Amazon, Podbean, Stitcher, or that's all of them. Please leave a comment, like it, thumbs up it, give it a rating of five stars, whatever you do. It helps the podcast out immensely. And Donut and Eli will be very happy if you do that. And we want to make Donna eli happy today yeah for five stars on

Starting point is 00:04:05 everything and a comment if there is possible because we need to be at the top don't say something motivating and that's where the you come that is come subscribe i just realized i'm drinking a white claw of vodka cranberry and a coffee i know we're look at this look listen you got you got the the normal black cherry to warm up your palate okay but then sometimes you want to get a little more fruity with it spicy a little spicy and then when you're done with all the sugar sweetness then you have a sip of coffee and then you're good again a little delicious oh this is like this is erases the palate like a restart Okay, first off guys I Know

Starting point is 00:04:56 Podcast as always we have Eli double tap here myself baddie streams and our very very wonderful amazing Kind of cute special guest, your narrator. Stop. Hi, everybody. I'm that guy. I narrate things. God, listen to that golden voice. I don't want to talk anymore. I just want you to talk for the rest of the podcast.

Starting point is 00:05:14 Can you do our intro for us right now? What is the correct way? Hi, everybody. Welcome to the Unsubscribe podcast. Eli Double Tap, Batty Streams. Oh, okay. Hello, everybody. Welcome to the Unsubscribed podcast my name is your narrator well today we are joined by baddie uh we're joined by baddie and mr two taps himself how you doing hey i love two taps mr two

Starting point is 00:05:37 taps it's way more that's fancier can you rebrand everything he's like baddie pointing at me he was like they're both l's if you look at it if you're dyslexic anything's an l uh we just met like 10 minutes ago yeah like all of us just met he walked in we're having a great time well to be fair eli when me and you met, we started pretending to jerk each other off and suck dicks immediately. We were playing, we were a skit from Tarkov. We had never met. They're like, you guys were in the army, right? We're like, yeah.

Starting point is 00:06:17 Then we immediately just started deep throating each other. It was like, oh, it was just typical. Just guy stuff. Just army things. Just army things. Yeah, that's what we'll call it, army things. Totally not homosexuals. Hey, homosexuals is okay, all right?

Starting point is 00:06:33 It's totally fine. I know. That's why I like to 69, my friends. Wait. Batty, I'm going to spit up your coffee. How you doing, man? Welcome. Love your hair.

Starting point is 00:06:43 Thank you. Is that natural? No, this is dyed. Actually, my girlfriend is my barber. So she knows how to color, dye, cut it. I thought that was your actual hair color. God, it sounds so... I just feel like you're narrating everything. It's just a fake voice you're doing right now. And then you drop it and you're like, hey guys! Because when you look at him, his voice is saying, hi, your narrator here. How are you guys doing?

Starting point is 00:07:10 He has that deep bellow. Yeah, yeah. Well, once I hit puberty, it was all growls and shit. But this voice is just my voice but lower. That's all I do. I just lower it an octave and then sing. It'd be way better if you hadn't hit puberty yet. And this is the base factor.

Starting point is 00:07:25 It's going to be terrible once you actually hit puberty. After that, it's nothing but just like incomprehensive growling. It's Wells talking. What's up, man? Okay, so YouTuber, Twitch person. You started off at what appeared to be Minecraft. Side note, if you've never read some of the article shit about people it's one of my favorite things oh when you do like when

Starting point is 00:07:50 you just google somebody's name oh you mean like for the past ever since i started doing youtube people have thought my first name has been sam this whole time it's not you're not oh okay breaking news his name is not sam we're gonna give a quick personal history from the internet. Personal life. Because you want to learn about yourself real quick. Oh, dude, I would love to learn about myself. Your narrator enjoys spending time with his cat, Lily, whom he featured on his Instagram account in August 2020.

Starting point is 00:08:20 He also featured his grandparents on his Instagram page. That's it. That's literally. That's your entire bio of personal life on this website. Literally the only thing that I ever did on my grandparents. It was one post when I went to their house in Michigan and we were just playing cornhole. And he threw it and he made it in. I was like, dance, grandpa.

Starting point is 00:08:44 And he just started flossing. And I'm like, dance, grandpa. And he just started flossing. And I'm like, oh, that's all right. Get it, grandpa. Cool. Yeah, I was like, man, I love these internet bios. They're so good. I was like, out of everything you could have gotten about me from like the internet bio. He has a cat and he and he put his grandparents on Instagram.

Starting point is 00:09:05 And I'm like, that's my content. Sure. And then it's like net worth is 500,000 to $2 billion. It's like, well, I wish dude, holy 2 billion. I just stop. I'd retire. I know. I'd be like, I don't know.

Starting point is 00:09:23 You just live a good life when you hit that amount of money yeah that that that's that's the kind of money where like i just disconnect i'll be like hey thanks everybody for watching uh this is it and then i just disappear i just fuck off to montana buy a huge mansion a lot of land and then just live out the rest of my days and just fuck off that's it would you make a single and more like another internet video where you're just like nah i'm rich oh yeah oh 100 imagine if you made two like in the billions of dollars that's no because that for a normal person that's a literally unfathomable amount of money yeah how you can't that like Yeah, no, it's yeah

Starting point is 00:10:12 You there you do not run out of money. You have cheat codes at that point you would type in slash cheat money And then you left the house for a week and you came back you're like, oh I have two billion. $2 billion simoleons. I can just be God. That's cool. And not get arrested. Sir, you can't park there. Shut up. Just throw money at all your problems. Here's $1,000.

Starting point is 00:10:35 No one could stop you. I was thinking about that. Like you can pull up to the airport. You're like, oh, I gotta fly out and just literally park in departures and leave your car. Cause you're gonna make that amount of money by the time you walk to your plane you're like exactly let me just buy this airline you buy the whole airline you're just like move it's like i'm just gonna buy this plane you all

Starting point is 00:10:58 can't go on it now get out of my way yeah go fuck yourself guys what's up buddy welcome we've heard about you you're like the one last vet and youtube vet that we did not know about somehow in san antonio like there's so many vets like or youtubers here no idea how we never crossed paths i mean i mean i it was uh first i lived when i first started i was in dallas so that was probably that was probably it and then i moved to san antonio i live i rented a house in san antonio for about a year uh year and a half and then i just bought my house in new bronfels so where i won't tell you but it's somewhere what's the address can i get your address and you moved here and then you're just like have you interacted with like any of the youtubers

Starting point is 00:11:51 out in demo or i i so funny enough with demo um i because i love meeting new people obviously hello um i actually was meeting a lot of people through tikt, and one of the people that I met through TikTok was Robo. And he does a whole bunch of different stuff. But he just started working for Demolition Ranch. Who's Robo? He's a TikToker. What's he do? He does Spanish.

Starting point is 00:12:22 Wait, is he the one with the Satan face? Yeah. Yes, I met him. He worked at the liquor store next to my house. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What? What? He was like, uh.

Starting point is 00:12:33 And then I watched it at demos. I went to demos. He was like, hey. Okay, Robo's his name on there. Okay. Yeah, yeah. So he was like, he just text messaged me and he was like, hey the way i'm stepping up and i'm like cool man that's awesome what are you doing now because i wanted to collab with him just just to hang out

Starting point is 00:12:50 and he was like i work for demo and he's like we should get you guys together and i'm like okay cool more freaking more more content creator friends more veterans i was guns i'm like oh yeah we can do that so yeah so it was super cool oh shit I'm slowly connecting the dots because like I don't the only person that I know out here in this area like content creation wise was at first was just me and Eddie

Starting point is 00:13:15 because I record with him all the time Eddie Guaro the guy in my group Eddie VR he's on YouTube he's somewhere north too yeah yeah he's uh somewhere north of san antonio nice yeah yeah so but so i was like so i was like dude freaking that's the but that's the only content creator that i know all my other content creators

Starting point is 00:13:37 uh buddies are like in houston or like like farther up north or like in different states and so i'm like okay it's cool to be out here but i don't know anyone that's doing that does content that's cool i guess like everyone's out there's a lot of a lot of content creators here then we have austin and dallas texas texas is pretty cool for for content creation just in general yeah yeah a lot uh i started the i've started to notice a lot of people are in austin now oh and that's becoming kind of california 2.0 at the moment and i'm like i love that state yeah yes so did that you yes started in uh you so you started on minecraft and then moved to fortnite so i'm just guessing from the different history

Starting point is 00:14:26 so so we we started out originally uh we started with virtual reality stuff br yeah yeah so we did uh we started off with that because we during that time right after i got out of the military i went to filming school i'm sorry me too it was bad how many years did you do oh this is a good time i'll rage on this like three or four oh my god and it's gonna be like wait did the gi bill or do you have to parse no yeah okay but they're like they charge a metric shit ton you're happy you didn't pay for it because you see those people when they leave film school they're like 80 120 dollars oh yeah especially since the one that i was going to in california not accredited closed halfway through my education wait so you got

Starting point is 00:15:15 so then i that's the real reason i moved to dallas was because it was either a start your degree over with no credits at a new set of new university or go to the same one looking at you art institute oh yeah you went to ai yeah oh no so and they're not an accredited for some stuff so you can't the credits don't transfer it's fucking i remember sitting down on that as i sat down because i was just learning you i was was learning film I was doing I was already doing like a short two shorts uh a month and I like cinematography lighting all that shit like that's I love doing that and I was already doing it for a few years at this point

Starting point is 00:15:55 I was like I'm gonna go to film school Art Institute of Seattle sat down on that first sat down where you like you know the intro where you're just meeting people you're going to go to school with. And I was like, oh, this is post-military. So young and so like 38, 39, 39, I think I was crazy. I'm 63. When does fast grocery delivery through Instacart matter most? When your famous grainy mustard potato salad isn't so famous without the grainy mustard. When the barbecue's lit, but there's nothing to grill.

Starting point is 00:16:31 When the in-laws decide that, actually, they will stay for dinner. Instacart has all your groceries covered this summer. So download the app and get delivery in as fast as 60 minutes. Plus enjoy $0 delivery fees on your first three orders. Service fees, exclusions, and terms apply. Instacart. Groceries that over deliver. Man, you're aging really good, man.

Starting point is 00:16:54 Aging like fucking wine over here. Jesus. I need a drink more. God damn, that's the secret. But, um, no, it was sitting down, looking around. The teacher's like, everyone raise your hand, it was sitting down, looking around. The teacher's like, everyone raise your hand for film. Oh, shit, Fluck. Oh, we didn't clap.

Starting point is 00:17:11 Oh, what a fucking rookie mistake. Fuck you, Fluck. Sorry. It's all right. Fluck, listen, if you can't at this day and age, I mean, if you can't synchronize now, come on. You're fired. You got it. You're not fired. We love you so much. Thank you. No, no, we love you can't synchronize now come on you're fired you got it you're not we

Starting point is 00:17:25 love you so much thank you no no we love you just synchronize the footage please think it's just really off nothing like it's like you have one job it's like it's like a 1970s kung fu action flick just like what are you doing but yeah it was sitting down at film school the teacher was like oh who these are you going to be your classmates and i was like why are you doing this i was like oh i do shorts i do youtube i'm figuring this out this is 2007 i think oh no i didn't even graduate from high school high school oh yeah and i just remember them being the other kids raise their hand and they're like why are you here and they're like i thought it'd be cool to make videos and i was like that's a weird answer all right i like taking photos another weird okay non-inspired answer and then i just like all the answers that sounded cool as a

Starting point is 00:18:22 job and i was like i'm not going here. And I quit. I like after that, I was like, I'm going to make my own shit and teach myself. Yep. God, it finally paid off. Mm hmm. Took a few. I did. You know, very long rocket jump.

Starting point is 00:18:33 Yep. Yep. Corridor digital. Yep. I moved to L.A. and was working with them. Oh, awesome. Multiple years. So that's how I learned.

Starting point is 00:18:39 That was my way of learning. I was like, I'm going to work with hell of a lot better than school. Yeah. And easily. Well, now is L. is la it was still expensive but but you were in like double debt you know you weren't paying off college as well as well yeah you were just paid five hundred thousand dollars for a shoe closet yeah uh-huh that's what sucks you see uh all my friends out there they're like well look at my 1.3 million dollars house this is smaller you're like i'm sorry oh i'm sorry why would you live there so film school yep finished it well

Starting point is 00:19:14 they finished it they finished for you oh oh no uh it got better because i i did move to dallas to in order to finish it and i got to my final semester of my bachelor's degree and COVID hit and so they shut the school down I technically all I have to do is go back to that school do a senior project and then I get my bachelor's but I'm not going to you're like at this point it's like I just dropped out I'm like I'm done it's, but I'm not going to. You're like, at this point, it's like, I just dropped out. I'm like, I'm done. It's not worth it. That's the biggest, bruh.

Starting point is 00:19:52 If you ask any big filmmaker, that's one thing. Kevin James, he was like, go to film school for first quarter, then leave. Fuck it. He's like, network, get the fuck out. He's like, not going to make a difference on anything you'll learn, do in life. Just network. Most important part of life,

Starting point is 00:20:10 as you probably know through YouTube. And then you don't need, do you apply any of that knowledge? Like, I don't know what knowledge they taught you, but the only thing I ever apply that I learned in film school is premiere pro editing. That's it. After that, it was like

Starting point is 00:20:28 after one class of that, the teacher was like, alright, cool, so this is great, right? You're learning how to edit. Every single one of these things that we're going to teach you that you're spending thousands upon thousands of dollars for, you can learn off YouTube for free. That's what I did.

Starting point is 00:20:44 It sucks because you can do it on three tutorials, especially with shortcuts. That's it. You're like, hey, here's your shortcuts. Here's the four keys you need to learn. Then just drop clips and learn your style. Cvio. That's all I needed for that.

Starting point is 00:21:01 My mother's texting me. Who is this? If you could pay for my plane ticket of course my mom doesn't text me she died thanks eli well this boy love you mama yeah peace out mom all right double tap wins for the sad hours today he always does don't worry always that's my life so dallas that was fun then huh yeah it was no and then and then from that right into youtube or yeah so it was during it was actually during when i was going to school that i was just playing

Starting point is 00:21:40 vr chat because it was new what else are you gonna fucking do yeah exactly And that's when I learned to like practice different voices and stuff like that. Because I wanted to be a voice actor. No. No. No. Eli has Deckard Cain. Go. What voice do you want?

Starting point is 00:21:56 I can do voices. No, continue to story. We're interrupting him. No, it's all right. That's all a podcast is. It's just you continue trying to finish the story you started the podcast with, interrupting each other the entire hour until you finish it in that last segment. That's literally all a podcast.

Starting point is 00:22:12 It's just that with tangents. It's one story with tangents. It's all a fucking podcast. There it is. Nobody comes here for a storybook reading. Are you okay? No, because this is what we do every time. Fine.

Starting point is 00:22:24 I'm good. I'm good. Continue your story. Guys, can we chat can we just get in the comments baddie stop interrupting it's not the first time won't be the last time voices um right so i was going on vr chat to practice a lot of different voices and that's when josh and josh open mully uh just started their youtube stuff and they found me and they were they were recording for like one of their first ever videos and they found me and they're like i was entertaining a crowd at that point. Okay, real quick. Do your best Asian impersonation. Don't.

Starting point is 00:23:07 Huh? Okay, black, go. Were you voice acting? As your lawyer, I'm going to advise you that everything that comes out of this fucking mouth. I love how normally, because with that, with voice acting that I've done, like I'm learning like different voices, like characters and like, like anime and stuff like that. My man just goes like black, Asian.

Starting point is 00:23:36 I can't say yellow. I can't say yellow. He is Asian. He's allowed to. Yeah. Asian, Mexican. I have like every card. I took you want to see my cards of things I get away with?

Starting point is 00:23:45 Because I'm not white. It's real dope. He's got a trading book fucking on the end of it. This is my holographic Charizard. Here's my Asian card. Here's my past. Look, it's Minority Man. Dude, look.

Starting point is 00:23:59 That's an autistic card, my son. And you. Don't play this off like it's your son. Here's my autistic card, my son. And you, don't play this off like it's your son. Oh, here's my autistic card. Mine's 10%. Holy sh. It's like your VA disability. You get a discount?

Starting point is 00:24:13 They're like, aw. What's your rating? 10%. Oh, that's pretty good. God damn. I'm only three. Every mattress has a 20 year warranty. Some even has 25. And you can try it out for 101 nights.

Starting point is 00:24:31 If you don't like it, you can send it back. How do you put up with him? Do you tune him out like your child? No hard feelings. One of my favorite parts about Ghosted This is your fault. is that mattress has cooling technology in it. So you don't get hot at night unless you're Batty.

Starting point is 00:24:49 You can tell he sweats. Do you sweat, Batty? Does the cooling technology help that? Batty, wrong camera. You have to look at that camera. GhostBed also offers bundles so you can get everything you need it's kind of like sana he's still going sav he's literally a child you have to ignore right now ghost bed is offering 30 off of everything if you use code unsubscribe at checkout or visit ghostbed.com.

Starting point is 00:25:29 Eli, why do you have a Christmas hat on? Because it's Christmas time. Hi, guys. Do you want a better night's sleep for Christmas? Maybe you don't want Saint Nick waking you up. I don't. why ghostbed.com is having a 30% off if you use code unsub right now or to go to www.ghostbed.com slash unsubscribe and get your 30% off on your new cooling technologically advanced pillow i looked at mattress mattress and bedding technology. Bedding technology.

Starting point is 00:26:06 That's what I'm going to call sex from now on. Bedding technology. So good, it keeps baddie cool in the evenings in Texas. Not in this house, though. Not in this house still. It's like baddie's old house. It just follows baddie. It's worse.

Starting point is 00:26:19 It is. It follows baddie. It's actually worse. I didn't think it could get worse. But good thing this pillow has cooling technology to keep us cool even in this literally insufferably hot house not right now because the heater was off yeah it's not good it's cold here it's not cool it's hot in here you're hot right now hey big h are you hot yeah me fucking too oh merry christmas big henry cavill, I would just like to formally apologize about the Superman and the Witcher thing. We love you.

Starting point is 00:26:49 We love you. What is this? We love you. We're doing ad reads. It's not a podcast. This isn't an ad read. Yeah, but he can put it somewhere in there. Dude, don't.

Starting point is 00:27:00 Adam, are you looking at me or Big Ed? You! I'm looking at you! Let me see. Use code unsubscribe over at ghostbed.com guys okay so asian voice no vr chat so vr chat we'll get to that so vr chat um just working a crowd they put me in a video and they were like hey you were pretty funny you got you're a cool like narrator type voice I was like oh thank you so they put me in the video they told me where it would be i saw it when they finally posted commented like hey it's that guy just thanks for putting me in there and that after that they would send me a discord link and one thing led to

Starting point is 00:27:39 another and then fucking three years later here we are shit here we are so you kind of accidentally fell into youtube yeah we it was it was like right right when we could push by the way six out of ten when uh right when the school closed down that's when i like just right around there is when i hit 100 000 subscribers so i was like right so but but now the school closed it was like well now what because now i don't get paid from the GI Bill because I'm not going to school. So I went, I'm just going to try nothing but YouTube for a month. See what happens. If it pays my bills, cool.

Starting point is 00:28:13 If it doesn't, I'll go work at Best Buy until I can figure this out. Take care of yourself. Exactly. So I paid. Fuck, fucking. We can't say that anymore. Fuck. Dude, we found out we can do literally the worst shit in the world,

Starting point is 00:28:28 but if you talk about that, YouTube is done. Oh, dude, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, I also found out they added new things with YouTube. The first 15 seconds of everything, doesn't matter what video it is, it has to be squeaky clean. No violence, no swearing. We've done two minutes like first two

Starting point is 00:28:46 minutes we've been we've been just we don't we don't do fuck all we we purge it completely now because yeah right two minutes is that where we're at two or five one two we were doing one i think yeah yeah well i mean for podcasts usually like one or two minutes you're like you guys are good yeah yeah but for like a 15 minute 16 minute video yeah. That first minute is how you hook your audience. So I'm like, I can't swear. So it sucks. So you're fucking, you're like,

Starting point is 00:29:12 okay, best buy. I can't. Yeah. Uh, so I did that and I, that, that first, that month I did nothing but,

Starting point is 00:29:20 you know, record with them, uh, do the time difference. Cause they're Australian. I woke, I finished recording around 2 a.m., finished editing that video at around like 9 a.m.,

Starting point is 00:29:30 posted it, and then I would sleep during the day. And then we would record again. So I did that for a whole month. I made just enough money to pay for all my bills and eat Top Ramen and like pizza bagels. That's the dream, bro. And so I was like, I made was like i made it i can do this barely as you sit on your throne of ramen literally as i'm like i have all the beef and

Starting point is 00:29:56 chicken in the world but i was like i can do it so i just told my mom and everybody i was like hey remember how you were excited about me being the first person out of the family in a long time to get a bachelor's degree hope for my sister all right so gotcha bitch i'm gonna go be an internet star i dropped out it's a porn so no no i did selfie pics though uh that was funny we'll get to that okay okay good i have questions that i'm not sure i want answers to yet but i i'm gonna i have to ask them later for sure but yeah no we did uh but we uh but yeah after i did that three years later uh now we're here now we're doing freaking crazy shit like teaming up with red bull and flying in stump planes and going to las vegas and just

Starting point is 00:30:45 blowing up ranges and shit and making our own merch and just having a blast this looks like but i know i was looking at this this is like a nice it's almost an initial d shout out i don't know if you know initial d but it's like that's when i seen that jack i was like duh it's fucking yeah it's got like the cute little insides and stuff like that but dude i'm gonna add um i have so many questions I don't want to do it because I'm like, anime? Is he in anime? He looks like he's in anime. I am an anime fanatic, a video game fanatic. I play D&D, I shoot guns. Why do we be hanging out way more?

Starting point is 00:31:18 As soon as I walked in, I saw the dragon from the Icons of the Realms. And I'm like, yeah, exactly. So I was like, oh. Look at the animes! So let's exactly so i was like oh look at the animes so let's see you got that you got the dragon ball balls obviously you got master chief you got freaking itachi right there you got my main man endeavor who's you know i mean in the manga right now he's getting kind of crazy also the anime i know sorry his son kind of got revealed kind of crazy i know i know they finally showed him off the the anime. Yeah. My Hero Academia. Got you. It's so good.

Starting point is 00:31:46 Yeah. Fuck. Even though I don't watch a lot of English dubbed anime, one of my friends, Rico, is the voice actor for Mirio in My Hero Academia, who's my favorite character, by the way. No shit. Yeah, yeah. My back. Ooh.

Starting point is 00:31:59 Ooh. I'm not done yet. His back tattoos all My Hero for me listening. Are you cool? Are you? Look. Berserk. Oh, dude.

Starting point is 00:32:09 I was about to say. And then Edo. Japanese whore. Yeah, yeah. Bro, like, this is like, and then Batty's like the fucking D&D master. Why weren't we friends? A long time ago. I was in Germany.

Starting point is 00:32:21 I don't know. What? Well, I mean, when I was. Oh. Eli. Huh? Dibs. No. I just didn't choose. No. See. I dib in Germany. I don't know. What? Well, I mean, when I was. Eli. Huh? Dibs. No.

Starting point is 00:32:28 I just dibs them. No. I dibs them. I'm not like that. I don't. Yeah, I know. Because I just dibs them. Oh, okay. Am I going to be like part of a cool custody battle?

Starting point is 00:32:35 That'll be hot. No, it's. Mom is on top of you. Oh, okay. Who's on top is what we're dibbing. It's okay. It's okay. I'm used to that fighting.

Starting point is 00:32:44 My mom and dad are divorced. The white chocolate macadamia cream cold brew from Starbucks is made just the way you like it. Handcrafted cold foam topped with toasted cookie crumble. It's a sweet summer twist on iced coffee. Your cold brew is ready at Starbucks. No. But, I mean, is that the segue for tattoos? Oh, I mean, yeah, we can, I don't fucking,

Starting point is 00:33:13 I mean, do you think we can segues on this show? We just get drunk and just roll the dice, we're like, oh, we just did a quick one, now let's talk about, he got a new tattoo, everyone. So this is my full sleeve. It is, it's still wrapped up, let's talk about, he got a new tattoo everyone. So this is my full sleeve. It is, it's still wrapped up, it's healing, but it is a Avatar the Last Airbender tattoo. Oh my god. Oh, I love that.

Starting point is 00:33:33 So it's the original, if you can see it, it's the four teacups, each with its own nation. And then you have Uncle Iroh's favorite teapot which is avatar one the first avatar with uh with the symbol in the middle and then i wanted him to i have to go back one more time but then he's going to it all the elements are going up my arm and corroding it so it's going to be awesome and then my right arm is going to be another full sleeve but that's going to be full viking because i love's going to be full Viking because I love my Scandinavian heritage. Feel that, brother. I'll put a Valknut on there somewhere

Starting point is 00:34:09 and we'll figure it out. Dude, Vinland. Good anime. It's starting again. I'm so fucking excited. Is it really? It's about to start next month, I think. He's our resident Omega weeb. Yeah, you get animated

Starting point is 00:34:25 i got i got you on anime homie and dnd fuck you guys play dnd let's go oh man let's go just have a blue dragon across my entire chest my throat is the hand and eye of vekna i have a d20 i i love dnd it's literally what the fuck how have we been this close and then be like the internet is so fucking weird about that shit yeah and plus like especially with like different categories like it wants especially with youtube they love putting people in like this little box you have a silo yeah so it's like these are your friends these are your friends and nothing else yeah and that's why i was like i was like i'm all about gaming and stuff like that so that's why i was like oh i can capitalize on like my veteran

Starting point is 00:35:13 side i'm like that's cool it's the moment i started doing that everyone was like hey there's some cool people out there you got demo you got nico and then and i was like oh these are these are freaking cool people and then the moment i actually before uh you tweeted i actually heard about you guys um going through uh well one talking with nico but also going through twitter and i was like oh cool because i also do like uh on patriot like just any anybody who's a veteran i was like content creator wise and i was like oh this Is cool and so like the moment I was just scrolling through I was actually thinking about downloading Escape from Tarkov because like

Starting point is 00:35:51 Juicy's super into it and I haven't Played it yet so I'm like I'm gonna tell you the wipes happening like Within the next week and a half Honestly by the time this comes out it'll have already happened So like that's the time Like it's like on a So we need to play yes okay for fuck's sake too easy don't we this is a fuck steepest learning curve it's a learning cliff that's fine good it's like i've seen i've seen

Starting point is 00:36:15 videos of like the mass amount of buttons and key bindings you have to learn but he's a nerd do the guns and everything you figured it out i know well not the dude the organization system I'm like searching for money in boxes I'm like nope nope hey an AK Man so you're like, okay. Okay. This is cool. I like this super we Fucking that would is that why you chose the? Where we gonna Bakudan? Bakudan ramen? That's where I wanted it. That's not the anime ramen shop Oh there's an anime ramen shop in San Antonio too. What?

Starting point is 00:37:12 It's called Hero Ramen Oh yeah So I'm super down also to grab a bite to eat after this Girl you had us at a bite to eat I am hunky i just we're fucking all huh i left the gym and i'm now drinking

Starting point is 00:37:31 okay this will process real fast that's right i don't go to the gym you don't it's okay oh okay i i can't i got boo boo i have been tattooed every two to three weeks for the last two years. Dude, hell yeah. It's not good. Don't do this. Dude, do you have your back done yet? Or your chest? Oh, no.

Starting point is 00:37:53 It's literally just my. Oh. Don't do it. Do not do it. No. The chest is obviously. Because I got the saggy titties. So, I got it.

Starting point is 00:38:01 That'll hurt a lot. But the back piece, I know those suck, especially over the spine. Ribs are terrible. I just did my groin, like inner thigh, like up to the giblets. Okay. Right. You said groin. Immediately I thought, like, what, you get like a ruler that extends?

Starting point is 00:38:19 Like, what'd you get? Like an inner thigh ruler? Like a tape measure? No, I have ankle to my hip all pokemon yo but it goes all the way up the inner like literally ankle to hip inner thigh all the way i was about to say you're rocking the garrido shirt do you have a lucario on there no okay i got 23 different pokemon on my leg do you have are you a smash bros player yeah okay save what about uh what about a garchomp no garchomp garchomp is good though i i so okay i went with like a traditional japanese

Starting point is 00:38:52 style for background for everything from like the backdrop so it's like two different gyarados regular shiny two different magic carp regular shiny requesa nice uh into vulcrona larvesta and a shiny venonax that was my first shiny i ever found all right um my thigh which is tortera shiny turtwigs i just did a a soft reset when that that the remake came out okay okay uh chikorita trico then behind my in my knee ditch worst tattoo i've ever had in my life that sent me to a different planet. That was Gengar Haunter Ghastly. Inner thigh, or sorry, back

Starting point is 00:39:32 of my thigh, Mega Steelix, Helioptile, and Torkle. And then inner is Ditto, Metagross, Malamar. I got the technical hentai Pokemon right next to my dick and balls.

Starting point is 00:39:51 Fluck just hard cut to a scene of jocks beating up nerds with our faces. Nerds after that conversation, please. That was a, this is a dope. It's like, I have a Gyarados and a Magikarp and a Tortoise. Twirl. A shiny Pokemon. It's like a shiny poker And shiny new oh there you go

Starting point is 00:40:13 Played the new one yeah a lot. Yeah, he's all he does your starter you Coco. Oh Were you a weed cast starter? Yeah? Figured you look like it you Tito what do you mean? Were you a weed cat starter? Yeah. Figured. You look like it. You look like a fucking spritito. What do you mean? I look like a weed cat. No, you're right 100%. Few Coco is the name? Yeah, Few Coco is the fire crocodile.

Starting point is 00:40:33 He's a fire crocodile. Fire crocodile. I haven't played Pokemon since like Red, Blue. And then there's the dancing water bird. Useless. Quacksalotl, I think is the final. He just stands there and does like twice a lot so they More like a Mexican.

Starting point is 00:41:05 I know. No, no, lo siento. Me hablo espanol mas o menos. Wait, can you actually speak Spanish? Si. Fuck, you're a way better Mexican than me. You can't speak Spanish. No, I only know a little bit.

Starting point is 00:41:16 Oh, okay. You got me fooled. I was like, you can't speak Spanish, do you? Now let me hear a Mexican accent. You didn't answer that. Eli, can you speak Spanish? Piquito. Me llamo Eli.

Starting point is 00:41:29 Me llamo Eli. Mi poquito. Mi poquito. Muy. Oh. Don de el barrio. Muy poquito. This fucking.

Starting point is 00:41:42 Si. Let's just talk like that from now on. Don't fucking look at me. Don't even try. That's not speaking Spanish. Don Don't fucking look at me Don't even Don't even Don't even fucking look at me Bro Hey This accent is okay

Starting point is 00:41:53 He's like whatever Oh it's alright Look at fucking baby over there Oh now the white boy Drink the coffee Okay Take a nice big sip There we go

Starting point is 00:42:01 Oh no I didn't know You had Uncle Roger Oh my god He can do the Uncle Roger. Oh, my God. He can do the Uncle Roger, too. Oh, my God. What you doing? Go back to car. Oh, it got free.

Starting point is 00:42:11 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Is that how bad he's looking? I am not my best friend. I already called dibs. Me and them can do this accent all the time. Today's letter is brought to you by the letter F.

Starting point is 00:42:32 Go fuck yourself. I want to throw up and die. No, stop it. Oh, meatball. Oh, my God. We should just talk like you are. I've got my best friend, buddy. You're my best friend, man.

Starting point is 00:42:45 All I can think about is all the people on audio who have never seen us. And they're trying to, like, we recently had somebody who had never seen or heard of us. They just listened to us. And then they saw, they're like, oh, you guys do YouTube, too? And they chucked us out. And it's like, that's not what you're supposed to look like. I don't know what they envisioned. Dude, it's super fun going on video games with proximity chat.

Starting point is 00:43:05 And then just imagine, sort of close your eyes, and then all you hear is this, just talking to you. And everyone's like, oh. You have a very mark of play. Are you my subconscious? And then they're like, what do you look like? And they look me up, and they're like, dude, if I put your ass underneath my truck,

Starting point is 00:43:22 it would be illegal. The neon street glow would be too It's gonna be fun what is warzone yeah, but it's warzone Yeah, you just know when people are coming people on warzone I've only had a couple experience so far with proximity war zone where people have been like actually cool. Cause like I pretended to be like, like a gas attendant and just fill, fill up gas for them with the cars.

Starting point is 00:43:54 Oh my God. That is genius. Who's at my front door. I'm sorry. This is unprofessional and shit. Who are you? Who is that? Wow.

Starting point is 00:44:03 I know. This is what we deal with guys. And we just guy. And that's why I was like, Hey, I don't know when they're going to drop that off. Is that an Asian guy? I think so.

Starting point is 00:44:12 Yeah. I heard it in the town. Yeah. It was, it was, it was more like, hello. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:44:16 Okay. Drop off. Okay. And I'm like, no, I will open the garage for you because I bought the installation sheet. Okay, you gotta put that together Living spaces great. Oh, dude. They did all my stuff living God fucking living spaces So far both things that I've ordered recently though

Starting point is 00:44:39 Like my new couch, which is awesome, but it's like, instead of being flat and flush in the back, it's like they didn't put the hookups right on the inside of it. So it's like straight and then it goes. Oh, there's a little. Yeah, but it kind of looks cool. It's like a geometric kind of thing. I'm like the couch, the couch on the inside is still flush.

Starting point is 00:45:01 So I'm like good enough for me. They said they'll fix it later. So I'm like, whatever. me they said they'll fix it later so i'm like whatever they're not gonna fix it later we're totally coming back to unfuck this nope never see him again well right now but okay so we got there you go why'd you cover that push it out sorry so i mean now i have like so many questions i like video games and, top three animes. Oh, shit. This is a fucking weeb. Okay, all right. Top three animes.

Starting point is 00:45:31 This is hard, I know. Oh, no. You can toss five if you need to. Okay. My top three. You will be judged. I just need to make sure you know that. I know I will.

Starting point is 00:45:41 Good, good, good. I know my top number one. I get judged heavily for it but i don't care i have to know how it ends number one is one piece okay good choice good choice i have to know how it ends and i'm super mad because they they just did the announcement where they're like so you're caught up in one piece how did you like the prologue oh yeah what episode wait wait what like a thousand is like all of this has been a prologue yeah because did you notice like what six months ago yeah because it was like remember he's beating kaido he's right

Starting point is 00:46:20 now he's trying to fight that um you still got shanks and blackbeard to deal with were they just gonna cut them out of the whole series oh this was the prologue i'm supposed to be like another thousand episodes probably i'm gonna watch i'm gonna make my grandchildren watch one like berserk it's literally exactly so that's number one number two for me would be cowboy bebop i love that one spike is pretty cool so netflix i like listen that's what you're talking about i just i just like i just i love netflix too yeah but there's i mean just just his all his whole attitude and demeanor, plus the line where he's like, I love a woman that can kick my ass. I'm like, oh,

Starting point is 00:47:09 same. Same, strong women. To you. What's up, girl? What's up, girl? Ooh, repeat. But then for number three for anime of all

Starting point is 00:47:24 time, oh, man. That's a hard one, because there's a couple. but then for number three for anime of all time oh man that's a hard one there's a couple lined up I would say for number three spot for the moment for the moment would actually have to be My Hero big fan

Starting point is 00:47:42 especially right now it's got a great story great character plot development's good it's it it it knows how to hook you are you a manga guy or anime only or do you do both i dabble i i if it's a really good like wake with uh my hero academia i'm reading the manga that is the only anime only manga I've actually taken the time to go through and completely read up to where we are. Because I was like. Wait, how far? Have you seen Deku right now?

Starting point is 00:48:14 Yes. I am like five chapters. What is it? It's not. There's chapters. And then or some chapters. Yeah. Whatever.

Starting point is 00:48:23 Yeah. I'm like five behind have you seen has deku appeared again yes when he's doing deck like fucking deku doing deku yeah deku's like i'm a badass now yeah i'm a badass now you're like i've seen all that yeah hey remember that power the uh predecessor that was locked away and said you shall be shouldn't use this or else you could die Guess we're doing it. Oh, it's so good. I'm just like I think the only other manga I've read is Naruto Yeah What are we just taking mid episode breaks?

Starting point is 00:49:03 It's been 48 minutes. This is so unprof- It's worse than him taking a call. What do you mean talk? You're pissing. Should I, want me to get the fourth mic in the bathroom? Do we need to like measure the stream? I hate that I can hear him.

Starting point is 00:49:24 I hate that I can hear him. I hate it. You got it. I hate everything. The moment it gets to the end, the higher the voice gets. Obviously. Oh yeah.

Starting point is 00:49:39 That was beautiful. See, America's got talent right here. Always. Easy. We could. Easily win. I mean mean talent these days imagine for youtubers i'm not i'm a twin star okay so i'm so proud of you wait what are you doing crispy blue crispy blue yeah okay hajimano ipo you ever read read it? Those aren't even real words. Yeah, the boxing anime, yeah.

Starting point is 00:50:05 You actually know it? Yeah. Oh, Jesus, fuck. Are you talking about the... What's the folly ball? The... What's the folly ball? Oh, with the Black Ravens?

Starting point is 00:50:14 Yes. No, Hajimono Ippo's the boxing one. No, I'm trying to think of what the folly ball one is. I can't remember the folly ball. Oh, you have like Blue Lock, which is soccer. Yeah. That was fun. Blue Lock, yeah.

Starting point is 00:50:24 The soccer one was really good. They're animating it really well right now, actually. Spy X Family. That's a real... Dude, that is... I've always seen the first episode. It is so good. I just moved.

Starting point is 00:50:35 I've been too busy to watch anime. Little Anya. Little Anya is just like... I just moved. I have been busy as fuck. I don't have time to watch anime right now. I won't say it. I won't say it.

Starting point is 00:50:49 No, but he will. I know you will. I won't spoil it. I've never spoiled anything on yours. Bullshit. Name one. If you can name one spoil. Go.

Starting point is 00:50:58 Go. One spoil I've ever given you. No, there was. What was the... One Punch Man. On what? given you uh no there was what was the uh uh one punch man on what you 100 spoiled one punch man the first season the very end of it the first season before i moved here i was staying at your house and you gave away everything before it happened wait i was trying to get you hooked on anime i think you spoiled it yeah there's only was getting you hooked spoiled it and now he said

Starting point is 00:51:23 give me one i gave you one fuck you and that's the only one he had to think about that one but that was the game i was like this is something i don't do i'm not like man i had to go back in the matrix real quick the only animated got him started in a reboot speaking of oh my god did you watch reboot when you were i don't know how you're only like 27 or some shit 27 yeah did you do you know what reboot is it sounds familiar he's not yeah he's too young to watch that shitty 3d it's like og toonami uh dude the 3d animation was like, yeah. So reboot was like, um, back in the early two thousands when the TV realized we could make a 3d

Starting point is 00:52:12 animated shows. The entire show was 3d modeled, but poorly, it looks like, like blender or a 3ds max or like, uh, what's the other one? Like Maya,

Starting point is 00:52:23 was that the other 3d modeling program? And it is the, one? Like Maya, was that the other 3D modeling program? And it was like, they were characters in a 3D digital world, and occasionally these blocks would come down out of the sky, and it would suck. If you were in the block when it hit your sector of the city, it'd pull you into a game, and you had to complete the game, and if you didn't, you died or something.

Starting point is 00:52:44 Dude, look at these That was my crack as a child if you've seen the animation fuck put this up because it is oh my we need a clip Oh reboot. Yeah God reboot was painful for sure. Oh my god my newfound friends their hopes do you can count the pixels? That's new reboot that's no this is Updated yeah This is this is state of the hours That was the original bad guy yeah oh man dude what that looked like a ripoff of a playstation one game i think that honestly that was basically the graphics

Starting point is 00:53:34 for playstation one dude because you're on this different age bracket because you're the same age as nico and savannah yeah my girlfriend oh there you go i was like i was like oh i looked at his age i was like oh oh yeah we're the exact same i was like that sounds okay okay okay got it got it got it different but playstation because your first console would have been hold on probably the nintendo 64 or a ps2 yeah actually ps2 i uh i originally had PS2. I originally had a... My God. I had a PlayStation 1. You did have a PS1, okay.

Starting point is 00:54:10 I did. I had a... Wait, I had an Atari. I had a PlayStation 1. What kind of Atari? The handheld or... 5600. Like the OG Atari?

Starting point is 00:54:21 I had the handheld, the Lynx. Oh, that's the later. You had like the brown, like the wood finish that was had to handle the links oh that's the later you had like the brown like the wood finish that was big in the fucking 80s they're like here you go here's pong yeah here's pong and galactica yeah yeah et but i had that playstation one you got more og shit than me man i was a nintendo 64 in a game boy pocket that's where where I started. Dude, once I got the Game Boy SP, I was like, whoa. Dude, the SP was so... It flips.

Starting point is 00:54:50 I forgot about all those old things. Me and my freaking... That and the flip Nokia phones that were indestructible. I got my girlfriend's because this is going to air after fucking Christmas. For Christmas, I found the special edition old school SP with the Pikachu and everything on it.

Starting point is 00:55:05 That's a flip up screen. Yeah. The, the SPs went hard. I still have my original red SP from way back in the day. That one has a solar thing on it at the sun meter. Yes. The SPs.

Starting point is 00:55:14 Cause, uh, there was a, a vampire game fucking comments. You'll figure it out. Uh, there's an old vampire game. It was kind of like Zelda.

Starting point is 00:55:23 It was an old, uh, isometric. Yeah. Yeah. If you played in sun, you had It was kind of like Zelda. It was an isometric RPG. If you played in sun, you had to beat some of the bosses. You had to go outside in the sun in order to fight bosses because it would register real sunlight. What? Yeah. I shit.

Starting point is 00:55:35 I don't remember this on the SP. The SP knew when you were outside. Are you sure it wasn't just a clock feature? I want to say. Wait. Like it's daylight hours? Like I've never. I don't remember seeing just a clock feature. I want to say, wait, like it's daylight hours? Like, I've never, I don't remember seeing a sun. Sorry, you can't play this game at nighttime.

Starting point is 00:55:51 You're supposed to be asleep. I remember like your Game Boy Color, some of them had the little IR reader so you could trade if you were literally like three inches away. The Kojima game, Kojima made it. Kojima is the one, the game that made you play in the sun. What console? Don't say SP. It was the SP. No way.

Starting point is 00:56:07 Corky Outside, a Game Boy Advance title that let players play outside. Game Boy Advance was SP. Yep. Very good reason. Only book Boktai, the story of the vampire hunter who was more powerful during daylight. But to ensure these powers were properly timed, the game's cartridge included daylight sensors. Told you. The cartridge? The cartridge had it. Yeah. So not the cartridge. That's crazy. sure these powers were properly timed the game's cartridge included daylight sensors told you the cartridge cartridge had it yeah so not the car that's crazy i was like kojima though like kojima

Starting point is 00:56:31 is the one that helped with that that's why it makes sense i fucking told you well no but you're right you're wrong yeah you were saying oh my god it was like the actual sp i'm like here's the cure for cancer like well technically it's not. Because it wasn't! You said the SP did not have a daylight. This is the right answer. How did you get this answer? Show your work. And you're like, but I got the answer.

Starting point is 00:56:54 I did. But show your work. Yeah, was it right? No. No! Wait, not to show your work, but the answer was kind of there. No, it wasn't! Kind of!

Starting point is 00:57:01 There was a gang that still existed! This isn't horseshoes and hand grenades, homie. Like, what do you mean? Well, I was almost there. Why can't we just get along? That's not what we do here. I know. My feelings are hurt.

Starting point is 00:57:15 Good, that was the point. But you were right. You were away with the cartridge though. It's all right. He wasn't right. Let's just, this is impartial. Not in front of the sun. Our kid's right here, Matty. Mom, dad, please stop fighting. Let's just... This is impossible. Not in front of the sun! Our kid's right here, Matty. Mom, Dad, please stop fighting.

Starting point is 00:57:28 Let's go fuck. Oh, God. Okay, that's where we're at today. Do I have to go back to my very thinned wall room now? Yeah. What's next to us? All I hear is, drop and give me 20, and I'm like, I know what that means. Mommy's a whore

Starting point is 00:57:50 I forgot about that shit the SPs Was cool dude those old games, that's why I love Tactics dude Kojima I forget how much he actually tries to like innovate when he does shit yeah sometimes it goes the wrong way but that's one of those perfect examples i was like yeah i would remember boss fights gamer had to touch grass i'm upset i'm just hissing at the sky Like fuck this game I'm gonna do something that no Mexican Has done before I'm gonna go ahead and be a streamer

Starting point is 00:58:31 And it's great And I love that because he does that And it jump cuts to him playing like lawnmower simulator Wait what is this from Have you not seen that TikTok No this is amazing It shows a guy with a Mexican with a sombrero and he

Starting point is 00:58:45 goes like i'm going to realize my dream i'm going to be a content creator and then it jump cuts to him freaking doing lawnmower simulator and he's like this is what i want this is it i have made it i have made it my family is proud of me. Look at this business I run. Look at the virtual streets that are clean. He pulls up to a virtual Home Depot. Gets his virtual Mexicans and drives. Pulls out a course, sips a Modelo.

Starting point is 00:59:18 See, Tris. Three Mexicans get back in your virtual vehicle. You're just running an empire. Man, this is oddly racist. It's VR, though, so it's good. Racism simulator. It's the new DLC for Sims.

Starting point is 00:59:40 Hey, let's hit up this white neighborhood. They pay more. It's true. We do. But only if I don't have to talk to you. Oh, shit, we're getting pulled over. We don't have insurance. Oh, shit.

Starting point is 00:59:55 Oh, shit. I love my people so much. Oh, boy. Love you, Eddie, if you're somehow watching this. Love you. Thank God. Dude, what are some of your favorite OG games? Oh man I could like talk. This is like an actual nerdy

Starting point is 01:00:12 podcast which we usually just go off the rails. We're like come for like 45 minutes. Yeah that's okay. It's a classic topic. If you had to fuck three dudes how would you fuck them? That's our podcast and it's in the gamer title? Okay, what the fuck?

Starting point is 01:00:28 Like, you can't just leave. Like, who are the dudes? Well, Big H right there. Okay, who are the other two? Ryan Reynolds. Oh. Oh, boy. I like your point.

Starting point is 01:00:40 I mean, we have a cutout of Big H here. And then on the other side, who would be the third dude? I'm fucking. Yeah, that's a good Johnny Depp. It's a good one, but I don't know if it's a, how are you going to say no? How are you going to say no to Johnny Depp? Robert Downey Jr.

Starting point is 01:01:01 RJ would be central. I think now. Well, no No that's true Man that's a hard one I mean those are two I mean Jason Momoa You don't fuck him he fucks you Let's be very clear

Starting point is 01:01:17 I think all of these guys are fucking I don't think any of these guys Superman's not gonna be on bottom He's a power bottom. Big guys like to lay down too, okay? Dude, have you heard what's happening with Chris? My boy Superman, who's insanely in love with all things Warhammer. Oh, I bet.

Starting point is 01:01:38 He's freaking out. We haven't even discussed that. Holy shit. Henry Cavill getting bop-bop. Yeah. He's going to be in a live action freaking not only in it wait hold on he is the one of these showrunners and producers yeah so he's like writing and helping with the story which is one of the reasons he left the witcher because it was kind of taken out of his control

Starting point is 01:01:57 and it got weird yeah and now the moment he can't be superman anymore he is now dedicating all of his time to this project so you know it's gonna be good and now crit your buddy is helping Wait wait, what are we talking about Chris Henry Cavill Henry big age? You said Chris you said isn't Chris the? No, it's Henry Cavill it's him right there. It's Henry. Big H. Who the fuck's Chris? Who's Chris? Did you just make up an actor's name? No, it's not Chris. It's not Hemsworth.

Starting point is 01:02:29 Why did I come up with Chris? I thought it was Chris. You're just throwing out names. Dude, Dakota is so excited. What is the old Superman? I thought it was a friend. I know what I'm talking about. Wait, wait, wait.

Starting point is 01:02:38 What was the old Superman? Broke his back. Died. Christopher. Wait. Christopher Reeves. Got it. Yeah, I know what I'm talking about. Christopher. Wait. Christopher Reeves. Got it. Yeah, I know what I'm talking about.

Starting point is 01:02:47 There it is. He accidentally, he went OG Superman. It's fine. I got you. Thank you for making sure I didn't look stupid. Well. I was so, I thought you had a really good friend that was going to be working with him. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Starting point is 01:03:01 He said Chris and I just ignored it. I know you didn't just misname my idol. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, and staircases after the horses it's been like 20 something fucking years it's hilarious he's like just don't make eye contact punch in on him no but yeah he's now full in on 40k cause it was the witcher it was superman

Starting point is 01:03:44 then book shot did an announcement. Then literally two days after, he was like, yo, guess who we got? Netflix was our Amazon. Who bought it? Netflix, I want to say. I think. I'm sure Netflix bought it. I mean, it's.

Starting point is 01:03:56 No, I think it's Amazon. I think it's Amazon. I think it's Amazon. I think. But they were. Dude, that was the best deal. Because I guarantee immediately they were like, yo, what happens if we buy the rights to this and we just reach out to Big H? We know for a fact he likes 40K.

Starting point is 01:04:13 We know for a fact he likes Warhammer. We've seen his figurine collection. I guarantee you. So about two weeks ago, one of my good friends here in san antonio and tattoo artist drew fuck you he uh uh started harassing me about getting into 40k so now i have like 10 40k sets coming to my house and then no shit the next week yep all this 40k news dropping i'm like this was meant to be i'm ready have you played the new 40k game dark time. Yeah, no, I haven't I played a fuck ton I haven't touched our tight. Yes. It's literally vermin. It's just vermin ties vermin tie with 40k. Yeah

Starting point is 01:04:56 Your fun things. I'm a psycher. I blow people's heads up Yeah You it's here you better like the Emperor. Death Watcher. Wait, are you, okay, wait. So that means, what's the last MMO you played? The last MMO? Sorry, this is just a nerd episode.

Starting point is 01:05:21 That's like 100% the biggest nerd. Guns are dumb. We're talking about video games. Happy New Year's, motherfuckers! This will come out right before New Year's. Oh, happy New Year's! Hi! There we go. Nailed it. So many days.

Starting point is 01:05:35 I'm so proud of you. Thank you. I appreciate it. I feel welcomed here. This is great. I'm so happy. I got it. We got a new best friend. I like it. Ugh, can't wait to 69 later. Dude, I mean, you saw the temperatures. What it's going to be like. Well, 69 Dutch oven.

Starting point is 01:05:51 So that way, like the heat will be right there at the face. God, it's going to be so hard. Just hard cut to a 69. It's too cold. Why did they move the table? Where the fuck is your woman? Bring me your woman. I just It's too cold Why did they move the table Why is this batty holding the camera so close Bring me your woolly Just balls on the forehead

Starting point is 01:06:11 This is it Here we go again We're right back to balls on the forehead Wait wait do that again Do that again then Mr. Sandman Oh my god God Man okay yeah Last mmo because i'm assuming you're do you play a caster or melee so here's my thing uh usually with mmo rpgs i have now uh be at first of course obviously i

Starting point is 01:06:42 was like all about damage all about big numbers that kind of shit um but now over the years i've now come to the realization like whenever any kind of mmorpg i'm usually like a big damage dealer caster just because magic's fucking fun or yes or i am actually either like a i'm usually like the paladin i am i am a tanky healer because every single time I don't, everyone in my party dies. And they're like, and I'm sitting there like, force heal. And they're like, oh, cool.

Starting point is 01:07:15 And then he can go in, he can do more damage numbers and not worry about health. But then heaven forbid, the second I leave him and I go over to the range guy, cause he's starting to take damage. Then it's just like, where are my heels at?

Starting point is 01:07:31 Why aren't you holding hate? And you're like, because you fuck head stop. What are you doing? Hold on. Or you get a bad tank and the tanks like, I got you guys. Or the dude, if you are, if you are dude, if you any kind of MMORPG, doesn't matter if you want a simple aggro, yeah, you are dude if you any kind of mmorpg

Starting point is 01:07:46 Doesn't matter if you are a regular tank That's just there to aggro or if you were a tank like a pallet and it also heals a little bit if you are going To be a tank that sits in the back. What are you doing? You are meant to be big and fluffy it sounds like trauma do we have some damage To be big and fluffy. It sounds like trauma. Do we have some trauma down back here? Absorb damage. If for a reason, just get in there. Just get in the front. That's where you go.

Starting point is 01:08:11 Just cast. Just taunt. Magic. Just taunt. Tank and melee damage dealers are in the front, so they support each other. Usually, if you have a secondary healer that's in the back ranged in and after that ranged in freaking magic are always on like kind of a middle ground so they can go in if they need to and nuke or they can come back with the healing the hot honey mcchrispy is so back at mcdonald's with juicy 100% canadian

Starting point is 01:08:37 raised seasoned chicken shredded lettuce crispy jalapenos and that completely craveable hot honey sauce it's a sweet heat repeat you don't want to miss. Get your hot honey McCrispy today. Available for a limited time only at McDonald's. You've had some good experience and sounds like Final Fantasy XI or like one of those older ones. Yeah, teammates are fun. They're not.

Starting point is 01:09:01 They're not. Friends are fun when they know what they're doing. Look at me. Look at me. Agree with me. We are here. Look right here. What was the last MMO you played?

Starting point is 01:09:19 Or what was your favorite one? Oh. So, well, the last MMO I played, probably. God, it's been a while since I did. Oh, the last MMO that I played was, oh, my God. What was the new one that came out that was a failure? Amazon. Yes.

Starting point is 01:09:41 New World? Yes. I played that. Played it for boys content for a little bit just to see because we that was around the time when we had to like stream so i was like the boys are playing an mmo none of the no one else in the group does that this is great and so i just skyrocketed with that and the game fell off and then the game just went it did pick up recently again though well it's i don't care i fucking hate it so like mmos that's why everyone even the last war of the warcraft people were

Starting point is 01:10:11 like eli you gotta fucking play i was like no what's gonna happen is you're gonna be super excited you're gonna hit in game and be like two weeks two weeks of fun it's the exact same thing as every other fucking mmo on the market ever. MMOs! Here's my thing with that that really made me mad. You are making an MMO, right? Massive multiplayer online game. Okay. Supposed to explore, supposed to do shit.

Starting point is 01:10:36 When you make an MMO, and the only way to level up in that MMO is to give your players the same four quests in the same spot. Fetch, protect, kill. Yep.

Starting point is 01:10:57 Fourth one. Fetch, protect, kill. Fetch, protect, kill. And like, it was like a- Gather maybe? Oh yeah, gather. Gather supplies. I was going to say, it was either- either the fetch could is usually just grab an item bear

Starting point is 01:11:08 bear asses no that's fetch all right well let me gather because like a fetch could be like a question oh yeah you have to go talk to another but it's just like when you got to the point when you're like in the upper level 30s and you're just like so what do i do now and they're like go kill skeletons bring them back Go to this one place bring it back Go get wolf hide bring it back. I'm like oh cool. Okay. Well, it's at least they're different. What are the other quests? That's it. Go get a bigger wolf now

Starting point is 01:11:43 Go further now go find more skeletons and kill those yeah and you're like i'm only doing this for like one level right like i can go to the new town they're like yeah but it's the same stuff there yeah oh and in order to progress the new town you have to be in 10 levels higher have fun and i'm like this is terrible that's why i don't get on mmos anymore well that's it you missed out because your age like ever course I've talked about it like mmm That was the pinnacle final fantasy 11 to like those are the games where it was like you didn't have bad players at the max Level why because they got punished. Yeah If you were bad if you died it punished the fuck out of you you'd lose like one death you lose 10

Starting point is 01:12:25 hours of progress instantly so no one fucking died to get max level lost in mmos like i think diablo had xp loss uh when you died on maybe it was hard because obviously it wasn't a hard if you died in a hard mode you lost your character um yeah but xp loss in MMOs, that was a very hard but a very fun mechanic. I miss it. Because you lose, you have five bubbles every quest, you lose half a bubble, which took, at the high levels, 20 hours could take for one bubble. And you're losing half of that in one death. So you were like, the second you're about to die, you're like, no, no, no, no. And enemies didn't have aggro rangers. Enemies chased you until you got out, the second you're about to die, you're like, no, no, no, no. And enemies didn't have...

Starting point is 01:13:05 Imagine if you had... Enemies chased you until you got out of the zone. So you would cause trains. So you'd have like 80 enemies like... And you're just typing train as you run. You're like, please, just the train. Don't be at the fucking zone line. You'd like exit as you see people popping in.

Starting point is 01:13:21 You're like, run, you fool. And there's like 80 mobs like... You're just gonna murder everybody. As you see people popping in you're like You exit out it takes four minutes to zone in because it's 56 K and then you're just challenge like you fucking did Murder and you're like, I'm so sorry This is not good RPG this is just the original. Yeah, so it's fun because it was the first time a game like that existed. That doesn't mean it's fun. No quest, too.

Starting point is 01:13:57 Like quest, even though it was called EverQuest, the quests were so convoluted because there was no like exclamation point. You had to type in specific words. And when the first, I want to say Telvelllius the first three expansions sure i don't know what that means there was 15 000 quests never discovered in this game ever discovered because people didn't know what words to type in what did what it was a fucking insane time back in like 98 99 you didn't have the you didn't have you had cheat code central and hopefully there was a a fucking document somebody wrote out on how to do anything. It was like, okay, if you look northwest and kill the enemy, you have a 10% higher chance of dropping the item.

Starting point is 01:14:34 Did nothing pay off. Meanwhile, I was just fucking just mass clicking on RuneScape. Were you a RuneScape? I'm sorry i know it was it was my only joy was bringing pete like new players into the wilderness and then just slaughtering them oh god see we would have got a that was like eek dude eq you can do so much shit baggery just the shittiest things to new players you were you a shitty person to people hundred percent You had the Oasis where when you were level 15 to 20 you go level up this is a nice it's called the alley

Starting point is 01:15:17 And then my character The necro you go invisible grab the specters Specters long you didn't attack him. They would just agree you but I But they kill anything. They will kill anything on the path to kill you. So you grab them. You grab four. Run. Run by the aisle. And you just watch level 15 players like, what?

Starting point is 01:15:34 Just getting one shot. And just getting murdered. Like, who's the asshole that's doing this? My guy's invisible. Just running really fast to the zone line. Killing everyone. I'm like, huh, huh, huh, huh. Zone back. Yeah, i'm such a dick in that shit when i was just trolling oh man the good good old days what is wrong with you like on on a psychological level that that no i mean that's

Starting point is 01:15:59 me with overwatch i don't play that game for fun i play that game to piss other people's days off. So just Lucio bopping? I literally, if I'm damaged, I am now my fun thing. I am now either a Bastion or I'm a Sombra. You're just hacking people? Just hacking people because it pisses them off. It's infuriating. That or my personal favorite, which sends shivers down people's sp pisses them off. It's infuriating. That, or my personal favorite,

Starting point is 01:16:25 which sends shivers down people's spines, in Overwatch 1, I was a Symmetra main. Symmetra was the portals and... And the turrets. Oh, the little fuck balls with the lasers. Oh, yeah. And now they made it so they're like,

Starting point is 01:16:44 well, Symmetra only has three turrets now. I'm like, yeah, but you can put them on any wall, any surface. And they added her thing with her main beam, which is, as long as you are hitting them, the beam gets stronger. And you can just go ahead

Starting point is 01:17:00 and melt a roadhog in like three seconds. Oh my god. You're just fucking cringe. Did you play league? League of legends. I did not play league of legends. I did not play league of legends. Were you ever RTS or,

Starting point is 01:17:14 or what are those? Are those RTSs? What is league considered now? I forget. It's not RTS, right? Uh, no,

Starting point is 01:17:23 it's got its own name. Um, fuck. Got it. right uh no it's got its own name um fuck got it you got it no i don't i believe in you no league of legends is a of legends is somebody figure it out i'm gonna i'm googling it it's not rts that's like starcraft age of vampires it says it's a team-based it says a multiplayer online battle arena battle arena isn't that what they're called but there's another name for there's a fucking shitty acronym like rpg or mmo there's rts i'm mad oh my god comments somebody somebody i know hour and 17 of the podcast guys here's your uh your moba moba moba i'm glad that took all mobile online freaking battle whatever i'm like i don't think those are the things but you know i'm gonna i'm

Starting point is 01:18:24 gonna let us slide this time all right cool god i forgot they were called mobus i used to play the shit out of those two like that was my is most toxic player base you will ever meet the worst people you ever meet the worst game in the fucking world but i i still remember when they came out with freaking uh players unknown battleground oh dude for the phone i went out and i for mobile yeah and i i went out and bought the uh uh like the little pad it's at my house just so that way everyone's like doing the touch screen on their phone and trying to like figure it out and i'm running around like with like a controller i played it on pc when it came out. No, I did too. But when it came out on phone,

Starting point is 01:19:07 I would do that just to be like, because they offered me a brand deal once and I was like, I think this would be hilarious. So like all my footage was just me not using the phone control, but using a gamepad with the phone and just winning games.

Starting point is 01:19:22 Like you piece of shit. How is it so good on a phone? I didn't realize that was one of the craziest things to me when I realized like the mobile content creator market like looking at like mobile like PUBG players mobile Call of Duty players like It's it's a different planet, bro These motherfuckers are blowing up and shit and like they have like arenas in Oh, yeah, you ever watch like they have like arenas in. Oh, yeah. You ever watch like a live like tournament of people playing this shit?

Starting point is 01:19:49 Oh, there's. Oh, yeah. They're all just like hunched over doing this. Welcome back to Raid Channel Legends. I know it's like the WNBA of eSports. No one can name a team. Mobile gaming is just the WNBA. Tell me I'm wrong, please.

Starting point is 01:20:09 Microphone. And you can name one team for fucking mobile sports. I can't. Can't do it. Batty? I proved a very solid point, Mike. Holy shit, dude, no way. And back he's like don't look now.

Starting point is 01:20:32 I don't give a fuck, I'm not gonna lie, I don't give a fuck. He's not a good mobile esports team like, ahhh. They're like, we're players too. No you're not. You're not a player. Keyboard and mouse or controller controller not a fan of controllers anymore pretty sure they make more than us though auto aim i'm like you have your alarm but you have aim assist but you have your whole other hand for movement but you have aim assist i don't you see i am a keyboard and mouse player have you seen the have you watched uh war have you

Starting point is 01:21:02 played warzone 2 have you seen the level of aim assist on uh if you switch it to the proper like it's like gotcha bro look that shit just is no it's it's bad it's it's and they but they still it's like you have a keyboard and mouse it's like no no no no like you don't understand the level of aim assist. That's full on like damn near hacks at this point. It doesn't move. It compensates for recoil, which is fucking ridiculous. Yeah. What?

Starting point is 01:21:31 No, it compensates for recoil and control. So like just levels. So is it like pick up and then drop? No, it doesn't pick up. It just goes. And it tracks with them, Batty. Like especially if they're a distance, it just tracks. It's like you can tell a fucking controller player instantly.

Starting point is 01:21:48 Man, I've got so many things. Like, I love playing Call of Duty. Go, girl. I have so many fucking wrong. I have so many things fucking wrong with that game. Mainly, one of the things I thought was absolutely, like, hysterical. I couldn't believe they actually did this shit. There were so many hackers in your game, right?

Starting point is 01:22:07 There were so many that you didn't know how to actually like ban them or like get rid of them. So in order to quote unquote, make it a fair, you know, an actual fair environment for the non-hacking players, you put a perk in the game that was essentially wall hacks. Oh, did you shoot that guy and one of your bullets hit him well for the next three seconds you could shoot through the wall you can see him through the

Starting point is 01:22:32 walls we're calling it like a sneak vision or whatever it's a perk and i'm like so now just everybody has wall hacks it was and as an lmg user because i used lmg like people i would hit them once they would go inside, and I'd be like, please go through that wall. Yeah, exactly. Oh, I'm behind the wall now. It's just like I hit you with one of my mini 7.62 going through the wall. And then Serpentine 2, when it was like, oh, now you take extra damage.

Starting point is 01:23:04 Or you can absorb more damage if you sprint while you're running. And they took and I'm like and they took a lot of damage you like to talk to anybody like sprint And you just unload you like why okay imagine if that was like a real thing It's like a little it's like an immediate adrenaline Just like a little button on your chest. Owie. I'm fine. Yeah. Oh, my God. That controller player. So Halo, the new Halo.

Starting point is 01:23:31 Did you play the new Halo? The first fucking world tournament for Halo because people are like, yo, control is way too powerful on Halo. And it was back and forth. No, no. 98% of the world tournament players, controllers, because of how good the controllers aim assist to headshots were. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:23:53 Oh, yeah. And people like cosmic lightning were. He showed up. He was invited to it. He competed. He was like, bro. He's like, 98% of people have controllers on this. And that's fucking crazy. He's there with his Corsair K95 in his mouth. He's like, oh, no.

Starting point is 01:24:08 Yeah. He's like, oh, I'm fucked. I came to the wrong neighborhood. Which is crazy to have in a video game where it's like, oh, yeah. Not 50-50. 50-50, you're like dope. The aim assist is working good enough. It's enough.

Starting point is 01:24:22 It's enough. Well, here's the question though, with as games advance, cross-platform obviously has been a thing screamed about for the last 10 years that everybody wants. Of course. What do you do? Do you just make the emphasis worse? Or like, how do you find a happy,

Starting point is 01:24:37 clearly finding a happy medium is hard. Oh, it's extremely hard. You just turn it down. Like if you go online and you're like, let's just crank it just a smidge more down until there's that happy medium. We're like, it's not this where it's like, why? Oh,

Starting point is 01:24:52 he's moving. And they have videos, Batty, where you just, they show without shooting, they just slightly moving and all. And then the players running and jumping in the, it's just aimed on them and like,

Starting point is 01:25:04 okay, this is a little bit broken just a smidge a problem i don't know like i like cross platform yeah no cross platform is fine as long as there's like a happy medium which obviously is like super fun too that's it's it's kind of crazy to think about that now going back again 10 years you look at anything you're when keyboard and mouse players would just shit all over any kind of crazy to think about that now going back, again, 10 years. You look at anything when keyboard and mouse players would just shit all over any kind of console or controller. Like, well, you can't use a controller. And now controller players are like, it is my time. I have conquered thee.

Starting point is 01:25:36 I have been summoned. Like, what are you even supposed to? What's your favorite, like, your genre of video games right now so i easily my my favorite uh series of video games of all time is the soul series i love dark souls i fatty hates it i fucking hate why i hate them all because that's why we're friends. Have you beaten it? No, I've played a little bit of three Elden Ring of you're going to get pissed

Starting point is 01:26:13 when I tell you why. I love the difficulty. So what about the aesthetic that you don't like? I hate it. You hate medieval? You hate medieval? No, it's not medieval.

Starting point is 01:26:30 It's a gothic horror medieval, and I hate it. Okay. Can you rotate your arm for me real quick? Keep going. No, the other way. That's Boba Fett. Yeah, that's Boba Fett, right? He's got some cool-looking armor.

Starting point is 01:26:45 Don't. You know what Boba Fett. Yeah, it's Boba Fett, right? He's got some cool looking armor. Don't. You know what Boba Fett has? It looks like gothic. Normal proportions where his neck and arms aren't spindly and extra foot long. Why are you making

Starting point is 01:26:54 your Elden Ring characters spindly? They're all like that. They're bad. Every single person. They're mad. They're all build. Every character

Starting point is 01:27:02 from Souls 1 to Sekiro to Dark Souls to what was the vampire fucking bloodborne fuck you every character in those games their arms go down to their kneecaps and their neck is a foot long and they're skinny and dumb i cannot stand the goddamn character design in those games i love the enemies they're crazy they're fan fantastical and wonderful you want to be friends with them hate hate the character design and because it's an rpg i cannot get into it because i am so much of a dragon age lord of the rings that that style fantasy i i

Starting point is 01:27:37 cannot immerse myself so i fucking hate it he speaks himself. Me, you're a narrator. We love it. Sam. So. Sam. So what you're saying is you don't like people with long arms. Yeah, I hate them. Rangatang looking motherfuckers.

Starting point is 01:27:59 I don't give a shit. Oh, calm down over there. Or long necks. Yeah dumb fucking stupid I've never seen I've never noticed that before like every time I play Souls. I just go like all right This is dope. You should make a medium build. Let's go kill some shit. Nope I'm such a like Tolkien esque fantasy nerd like my D&D style shit because that's what I cannot

Starting point is 01:28:26 immerse myself I can't oblivious guy I'm like it's look at the different the aesthetic I can't that's where I was so the aesthetic oh okay that you can have like maybe you just don't like that the look of the aesthetic on that okay yeah

Starting point is 01:28:43 I'm still weird about the characters because like even though they're like you know you're saying they got long arms and long necks like most of the time you're either holding the weapons up spindly weird fucking arms your main character is what are you talking about the bad guys no every main character looks exactly the same in every one of those games what hold up hold up they look like humans just skinny ass humans skinny ass with long arms fucking long necks and haunched ass fucking legs they're dead baddie they're husks they're not gonna have a huge bunch of muscles hold on watch i swear to god show me a long i can show you somebody with a long neck They're not going to have a huge bunch of muscles. Hold on. Watch. I swear to God. Show me a long neck.

Starting point is 01:29:29 I can show you somebody with a long neck. Dark Souls 3 character. Go. Elden Ring 3 character. Go. Elden Ring 3, my favorite game. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. You loved it.

Starting point is 01:29:38 I will come over to this goddamn table. One of my favorites. I mean, you fight now. Okay. Okay. So look at that, right? Those are such weird stands. So his arms are about down to there, right?

Starting point is 01:29:51 His hands are about there. Like, so watch. So here's the thing. If I stand up... Oh, you freak. Oh no, my hands are past my fucking hips. Oh god. No, they're to the knee! Like in the game they're always to the knee! Let me see it.

Starting point is 01:30:07 Let me see it. Look at that shit and tell me that's past his goddamn knee. What game is this? It's Elden Ring! Sorry, it's not Elden Ring 3. But- Right? That was bullshit.

Starting point is 01:30:21 Now he's looking up- I'm going to defend Souls games to the day I draw my last breath on this planet. If you need, I will carry your ass all the way through the game. I had so much fun in the starting of the game. I just couldn't get into it. I played Demon's Souls. So I started with the Korean version of Demon's Souls. So I imported it.

Starting point is 01:30:41 Okay. FOH, shout out to all you. Why is his neck so goddamn long? It's- Why has he got a tiny little head? Wait, let me see. It's not long, man. Look at his neck, he's got a long ass neck

Starting point is 01:30:52 and a tiny little head. It looks, it is appearing long because the armor he's wearing is samurai armor. So it's going- Ah, don't even know! It's sliding down. I have played Ghost of Tsushima. Batty, I can take a picture of you

Starting point is 01:31:04 and make you look like this with a weird small head too if I take it from that Low ass angle ain't here angled up. Oh, so now it's the angle now. It's the angle I Hope you're phone cracker. It's already cracked Man I don't want to hear nothing until you at least beat the game I Can't do I literally I cannot get into those games. Then your arguments are relevant. I played probably eight hours of Elden Ring before. I was like, I literally cannot do this anymore.

Starting point is 01:31:33 Which one's it? You're looking at the guy's ass most of the time. What's the problem? What's the problem? You don't like dude ass? I mean, good dude ass. Just a donk? That's what you can customize in the game it's just this huge butt like fuck yeah it's only on the guy character the souls series or the the from software style games okay i i i've never been able to enjoy it

Starting point is 01:32:03 damn i've tried so many I have damn played Kiro I have played dark. I didn't play two or one. I played Dark Souls 3. It was my first entry into that That's a now to I I didn't buy blood when I watched a lot of because I was like I already hated Maybe I'll try and I watched it was like I fucking hate this And yet you play D&D I not only played the&D I DM I run games I am I live for it alright so next topic

Starting point is 01:32:30 which is your favorite of the of the soul series yeah honestly right now probably Elden Ring Elden Ring was fucking it was absolutely amazing I'm so happy they put in the Berserk. Don't look at me.

Starting point is 01:32:47 The Berserk sword, I just literally... I went and got it. Oh, yeah. There we go. And then you level up nothing but health, stamina, and strength. And then you fucking dual wield them. And you're like, nothing can stop me. Just walking around swinging.

Starting point is 01:33:04 Dude, it's such a good fucking game i demon souls was my favorite until elden rings sakura was fucking difficult dude i watched tweak play sakura for heroes hours i watched that because he would he died so tweak you sucked at that game oh shit got him but then he got really good at it probably yeah that was the thing for me because like like the souls games uh in terms of like dark souls and stuff were more about like you can parry if you want but you can it's more about like blocking and attacking those numbers out and sekiro was literally just like you better learn to fucking parry dude or you're done it's learn to

Starting point is 01:33:46 parry also dark souls you're like i'm gonna just i'll walk away for a few hours get some souls level up sakura is like nah nah you just you don't level up you learn to block stupid and you're like and then it's like also you can you have to kill the enemies twice yep like every enemy had a second form oh dude monkey oh and then you and then you play dark souls 3 and you're like you know what i think i beat it this is oh dlc oh this is fine dragon oh yeah like dude there were so many the mega bosses the only boss to have fucking three phases with two you had to like you fought her in the first phase you beat her then she all of a sudden was like oh just kidding i came back and my crazy grandpa dad who's in the chair is throwing fire at you so now i have two and then you beat both of them. And you're like, oh, thank God. I beat it. And then she goes.

Starting point is 01:34:48 Now I'm on fire. Figure it out. And you're like, it's great. It's great. And what's her weapon? Oh, frost scythes. Two of them. Oh, and she can go invisible and teleport behind you and grab you.

Starting point is 01:35:00 God, I love some of the video games on how they're just like, use an enemy, have fun. Yeah. And they're just like an enemy have fun. Yeah, they're like Hey, Elden rings the witch the in the library where you have to kill the other witches and hit the real one and in So like when you finally like hey, yeah, and you're like I did it now I'll take this health you don't have time to help because it goes into the dream world with the moonbeam Yep, and I was like what and it's like moon beam it's like the fuck is that second form how did it murder me instantly what the fuck oh dnd speaking of you guys have you guys seen have you guys seen the movie

Starting point is 01:35:38 oh absolutely so um i So I'm a big, big Critical Role fan. Perfect. I got, obviously, the Flame Alchemist, Travis Willingham, voice actor for it. I live for Critical Role. That is the only reason I'm not Ryan Reynolds. I think I can say that, right? Yeah, we can say that.

Starting point is 01:36:02 Ryan Reynolds. Ryan Reynolds. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The second season drops. What? Soon, soon. Like, soon, soon, soon. January or end of this month?

Starting point is 01:36:15 I think it's like the end of January. It's the Chroma Conclave drops. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love you, Brian. Ooh. Little crush, little crush, little crush. Mr. Foster. On that note, Patty. Thank you for watching the UnSubscribed

Starting point is 01:36:29 podcast. My name is Matty Streams. Of course, we have Eli DoubleTap here and our new amazing, beautiful, wonderful friend your narrator. Can you please tell us where we can find you, whatever you want to shill briefly? Yeah, of course. I'm a YouTuber. I go by Your Narrator narrator my second channel is just

Starting point is 01:36:46 narrator it's very easy to find both uh and then i'm part of a group called the boys so check them out we do wacky on uh real life scenarios and uh yeah it's pretty fun they're cute yeah love it go fuck yourselves yourselves.

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