Unsubscribe Podcast - 89 - CORE MEMORIES ft. Your Narrator

Episode Date: January 18, 2023

Unsubscribe Podcast Ep89 - CORE MEMORIES ft. Your Narrator THIS IS A DESCRIPTION. Also we brought back @YourNarrator for more sensual DANCING!!!! Hopefully this episode is actually seen by yall this time. Overlords trying to keep us down! ----------------------------- GO FOLLOW YOUR NARRATOR @YourNarrator @NarratorWins https://www.youtube.com/channel/UChfYPe-r_5EMHbBMT-YuYsA https://www.instagram.com/yourfavoritenarrator/?hl=en https://twitter.com/YourNarrator1?s=20&t=UxoKRtuIldFNmH1IvJJKYg ------------------------------ CHECK OUT TODAY'S VIDEO SPONSORS, GHOSTBED Right now GhostBed is offering 30% off everything if you use the code - UNSUBSCRIBE at checkout or visit https://www.ghostbed.com/pages/unsubscribe Manscaped Get 20% OFF @manscaped + Free Shipping with promo code UNSUB at MANSCAPED.com! #ad #manscapedpod www.manscaped.com ------------------------------ OUR MERCH: https://www.bunkerbranding.com/pages/unsubscribe-podcast JOIN THE PATREON NOW: https://www.patreon.com/UnsubscribePodcast WE HAVE A SUBREDDIT??? https://www.reddit.com/r/UNSUBSCRIBEpodcast/ CHECK OUT https://outofregz.com/ CODE: UNSUB http://gfuel.com/discount/baddie CODE: BADDIE ------------------------------ WHERE TO LISTEN Spotify https://spoti.fi/2Ye8YOU Apple Podcasts https://apple.co/3cbqY4k Amazon https://amzn.to/2YbzQia Google Play https://bit.ly/2YcWmaD Stitcher https://bit.ly/3cbnY8o MORE LINKS! https://linktr.ee/UnsubscribePodCast ------------------------------ Follow the Cast of Unsubscribe -Baddie- @BaddieStreams https://www.twitch.tv/baddie https://twitter.com/BaddieStreams https://www.instagram.com/baddiestreams/ https://www.youtube.com/baddiestreams -DonutOperator- @DonutOperator https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwkm_Wcyh0pc7UUmZZfL-6w https://www.instagram.com/donutoperator/ https://www.twitch.tv/DonutOperator https://twitter.com/DonutOperator -Eli_Doubletap- @EliDoubletap https://www.instagram.com/eli_doubletap/ https://www.twitch.tv/Eli_Doubletap https://twitter.com/Eli_Doubletap https://www.youtube.com/c/EliDoubletap ------------------------------ Edited by Fluck https://www.twitch.tv/fluck twitchcon 2022 reaction Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Call 1-866- 531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca Please play responsibly. Those are your glasses. There you go, Fluck. Hey, fuck you, Fluck. No, I saw the video. Fluck, I love you. I love you.

Good. Yeah? We're okay. Daddy needs his fucking juice. Oh, which... Daddy needs his fucking juice. Oh, yes. That sound was so good. Oh, so now that the... Yeah, yeah.

Essentially, we were role-playing our... Where's your water? I bet he didn't even wait for me. He signed the bitch. No, I didn't. Ready? You just twist it and make the okay but by the mic all right ready

oh yeah clap clap what the what what was that wait didn't you guys wait what was that was that your guys's last high five too who did that look like it was like riding high-fiving baddie i can't fucking what i can't wait say hi to eli it's racially ambiguous bad he that guy's fucking ridiculous that's harder to rhyme but he's a really nice guy welcome to unsubscribe hey guys thanks for watching unsubscribe podcast um make sure wherever you're listening or watching whether it's on youtube uh castro spotify apple google amazon podbean stitcher or that's all of them please YouTube, Castro, Spotify, Apple, Google, Amazon, Podbean, Stitcher, or that's all

of them. Please leave a comment, like it, thumbs up it, give it a rating of five stars, whatever you do, it helps the podcast out immensely, and Donut and Eli will be very happy if you do that, and we want to make Donut and Eli happy today. Yeah, five stars on everything, and

a comment if there is possible because we need to be at the top don't say something motivating and that's where the you come that is come subscribe i cannot wait until your curse mark takes over your body wait you have a curse mark yeah oh shit i got that and i got anotherars or tattoo on my other leg. Would you get I got a sand true? Pokemon that is dressed up as Gaara. That's cool That's drew Cruz you guys did great. Yeah, it was Friday 13th. It's a Friday 13th tattoos You have Eli Dills at myself baddie streams and our beautiful baby boy Your narrator of the baby boy. Your narrator. I'm the baby boy.

Hello there. Just the, your narrator. Narrator, your narrator. Yeah, your first name's your. Your favorite narrator. I'm back. I couldn't stay away. I know.

We kidnapped him. He's ours now. They have me. I mean, it's not all bad. You gave me a room. I got treats. The water. Free sex.

Free sex. It was awful. I got treats. Free sex. Free sex? It was awful. Consensual? There's the word. Thank you, Eli. Even though we kidnapped him. Green. Podcast is still green.

Not even five minutes in. Gee willikers, I wonder why this is demonetized. Consensual free sex. YouTube reps just watching. Where's this conversation going? Do you think we have one YouTube rep, like just one dude who's like, no, give me the episode. Give it to me.

They want really bad. So they're like, and green. The second they see it's like, oh, this is way too peaceful. Fuck. Got to get rid of this. They got to go back hard. That's actually a really good idea they just hate really nice clean episodes who like use bad words really say the word flipping his desk at youtube is like

the mouth and shit so there's another last time time we had our beautiful baby boy on the podcast here. That's what I'm going to call you from now on. I'm liking his name. My beautiful baby boy. The episode was immediately flagged by YouTube. Yeah, I saw. Yeah, and that's not good. That means nobody sees things.

And it was flagged for sexual acts sensual dancing Simulated sex and nudity those really we got like a breakdown of everything we did wrong So then we re-uploaded the episode without that part And that's what you guys saw you missed all the you missed the orgy is basically you you missed all the HAHAHAHAHA What a joke! What was that? It made no sense. i don't know what the fuck youtube was on that day but we cut out the audio portion though so when that that segment it just sounds like

we're making like mac and cheese yeah no we fucking yeah head over to uh spotify apple castro yeah uh pod bean stitcher, Apple, Google, Amazon, wherever you listen to your podcasts. And you can try to find the macaroni sounds in the lab. It's like that for 35 minutes. There's just a blink sign on the office. 35 minutes? Well, you were two.

And then you tapped out and we're winded. Wow. Two minutes? That looks like a decent amount of time. I was about to say. Right? We've all seen Kevin Hart on stage. You can do a lot of, I mean, we're friendly.

Welcome to YouTube Green. I mean, like, two minutes is a decent amount. Like, that's like, if, like, on an average amount of time, probably. I mean. Not for me, but, like, I bet for, like, a lot of our audience. That's totally, no, everything like i bet for like a lot of our that's yeah totally no everything's is too much listen i i'm trying to be i'm trying to make sure this episode stays green for you so i will be i will implant but i will also like you just go over the line yeah if you watch last week's episode we went i was forgetting to flex in that list of like things he's like man you guys talked about this this this and work

Oh, oh we we got drunk II drink It's always great when we have to call an uber home As a good Cheers! I just woke up and I was like, eh I'm leaving the Porsche Like the car stays here I was like I ain't driving that right now I'm walking home boys I'll get in the morning Oh man Oh man Do you ever have issues with YouTube doing that stuff

Like y'alls videos or your videos in particular Or you just, no? No, okay You guys don't do, how much cussing do you guys do? We do a fair amount of cussing but usually on like the hard like like the f-bombs we we usually like sense of that but everything else is kind of fair game it's just the new uh within the first 15 seconds we're not allowed to swear even bleeps now hilarious enough oh yeah there. Also, no showing any kind of violence.

Even video game violence. What? Owie. Wait, you can't show video game violence? Yeah, no, they want no violence. But apparently now, everybody on the platform was like, that's dumb. So now they're like, we're gonna take that back.

Like, they're in the works, apparently, of taking off that first 15 seconds. So they're there in the works apparently of taking off that First that first 50 we can fight in the first 15 seconds again Eli. Yeah, thank God. You start throwing hands again Go back to the hard intro There you go That's my favorite intro we had, we cut it. Nope. Uh, it was a weird segment, we were like, let's test it out, Batty, see what happens. We're playing a game today, it's- Salas can flut, cut without it seeming like there's cuts. Holy-

We're testing you, Flut. No, we're testing. I love watching you get uncomfortable. Dude, ever the Chris video, there's segments where we start talking and you just see your face like- I'm just like- yeah, you're like I'm just gonna move out of frame. I'm gonna I'm just gonna The second we start going hard

he's like Wes, Wes was the surprise monster of the episode. The stunt magician he was the guy with Chris. Yeah, yeah. Much less famous, shorter, not as good looking one. Great hair though. Great hair. The stunt magician he was guy with Chris. Yeah, yeah much less famous shorter not as good-looking one Great hair though great hair

We'll have to take you to your I fly what's I fly you the wind tunnel so you have to oh I've always wanted to try that oh, I always wanted to do that I've been super excited good. I thought obviously I couldn't do it before cuz you know, I thought it was having heart attacks all the time But now it's just I can't eat fun things Betty do you like my feet? Do you like my fingies? Do you like my little fingies? Yes, I love my sweet baby boy. Oh, my God. Be shy and cute. Nice. She's massive and breedable. God, I can't.

YouTube. So the new rules are all over the place. I know what... Who's... Now I can't remember the Asian dude's name. The Asian dude's name. He does the voice acting for a lot. He was big on TikTok and those shorter styles.

Big YouTuber. He dresses... No. I want... acting for a lot he he was big on tiktok in those shorter styles uh big youtuber he dresses no i want some lee some lee i think um you guys will know him the second i show him it's uh he must fucking this is a great story that i'm baddie take over i just i don't understand sometimes how how like youtube's like yeah you know that but everything else like i kind of want to i don't want to swear i want to oh i swore a bunch there didn't i yeah no huh oh we gotta forget that i I mean, have you got you? I don't know if I talked about this in the last podcast. How do you have Australians with your group?

And they can't say. So no bleep. Anytime you say that. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I know. I know where I'm aware that's getting. But the hard C.

No, no, no, no. Hard T. Oh, if you if you say it. So there's different ways. I've learned. Yeah. If you if you say it like. no, no. Hard T. Oh. If you say it, so there's different ways. If you say it like. Pull up that one too. Yeah, exactly. But if you say it like.

Like if you're. Attacking somebody with the word. Well, that. But it's also like if they say you're a sick. And then you do that. Then it's like, oh, you're a sick. That's okay. But if you say if you're a dirty

With a hard t then there's like then they won't fight you like like you're their pants Like we are gonna punch you in the face I don't I don't get it You do prod. What is happening pros D show me fuck is probably a face but you guys know he is yes okay got it everyone knows pros D like this I can't I was like names we may not know he's got a beautiful voice beautiful yes it's like you we have both of you were just like spicy geez yeah he's like i am the anime view what are you doing oh the rap song he's like i'm the horse the dragon the horse dragon rap is one of the great

that's really really good do you even know what we're talking about i got nothing i'm i've seen him talk about some shit but like that's it. Not a lot. I don't know. Dude, the horror story. His comedy is, especially for those 30 seconds, like one minute to 30 seconds. Not Twitch, not YouTube. I'm just like. Those are like voice actors like that that can switch instantly, and then they write their own skits. Because he talks about when you go into a fight on uh the dragon and then they rap or

there's a musical when you go into it i'm the horse the dragon i'm the baddest of them all he's like what what are you doing leap into froggy fresh there yeah and while he's getting back to the dragon rapping he's like i i don't want to hear you. I'm the ultimate villain. Can you can you not? Or when he shows up with the anime clothes when you're it's like going off stats and not looks Dude I Mean that's you either place you either play souls games two ways you either play you don't care how you look and you all don't care about stats or you play fashion souls that is it i'm on fashion i played like elden rings was because i just dressed up his guts i was like i'm gonna look like guts have his sword

and that's how i'm playing this game thanks to you guys i am gonna go see will and i'm getting my other full sleeve that is going to be a tattoos are dumb ew dude you get out what kind of sleeve so will xx he's phenomenal tattoo artist he's done work for you know eli me and a bunch of our friends as well look look clients he is in san antonio but now he's doing your sleeve yeah uh mine is going to be uh a a crossover between um between uh young younger futhark viking and elden ring oh so it's gonna be a welcome to the bro vet community apparently any vet that has tattoo sleeves we're all uh Viking and Elden Ring. So it's gonna be a- Welcome to the BroVet community.

Apparently any vet that has tattoo sleeves we're all pieces of shit nobodies who are using our tattoos to seem harder and tougher than we really are. Oh. Got that one the other day. Oh. Was that from somebody whose dreams are crushed at a 9-5 job

that won't amount to anything? Damn. Must be nice to have that kind of freedom. Whoah! By the way, that we fought for! Hit me up, Todd! Yes! Alright, anyway. As our...

As our loyal supporters are watching this at their nine-to-five... What? Like... Man, that guy's a fucking dickhead. We don't like him. Oh, whatever. Just listen. Everyone starts out at a 9 to 5 at a regular job, okay?

I get it. Or an 11 to 7. Eh? I don't know which camera. Eh? That one. That's you. You're over here.

Yeah, the one that's you. Hold on. I got to focus my arms. Wait. Okay. Eh? Eh? Eh? There we go. That one, that's you. You're over here. Yeah, the one that's you. Wait, hold on. I gotta focus my arms, wait. Kink kink. Ay. Ay. Ay. There we go.

No, yeah, tattoos. Is Elden Rings? Will's gonna fucking, do you have an idea? Yeah. I wanna know how that combo works. So, so, so, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me,

What in the fuck is going on? What is this usually? What? It's like rolling your hours. I can't do that. Stop it. I don't like when you stop it. I am uncomfortable.

What's that stereotype that all the... Mexicans do? No, no, no. Shut up. The freaking... Like everyone... Speaking of Mexicans, your buddy Robo, holy shit. You saw, I just, I was scrolling through old DMs,

and I saw a video he made about the podcast when we were talking about him with you. I fucking lost my shit laughing because I'd never seen his stuff before. I didn't know who he was, and I was like, what in the fuck is this? And he's funny. He's a funny guy. You TikTok-er, you. I just had breakfast with him today and it was super cool to actually meet him in person.

You've never met him in person? No. That was you guys' first time? Yeah, we went to Eggs Benedict. That was the very first time. Wait, there's a place called Eggs Benedict? Yeah. We used to go to a place called Eggs Benedict? Yeah. Dude, it's great. We used to go to a place called Eggspectations in San Antonio.

Bro. Oh my, wait, holy, I'm so dumb. I'm so dumb. And you got Eggs Benedict at Eggspectations? Yes, I did. A hundred percent. This is where I blush. Have you ever went to Eggs Benedict? Have you ever been to a McDouble? Eggspectation. Eggspectation, there there we go did you poop a lot because the last few times when we got some we all stopped we all stopped going for a little

bit because we would go and poop a lot a lot of poopies yeah no it was like it was also because like as soon as i showed up i will i showed to the breakfast with my, like my shred pills, my protein shake, and I had my sandwich. So I was like, as soon as I had that, I was like, oh, I'm really, oh, oh no. And it just went. Who was your server? Uh, I don't know his name. Was it a guy? It was, uh, he had uh he had he had uh hand tattoos

went um maybe like half sleeves he was wearing was he short yeah he was short he kind of had like a like a spiked choker on that is it brian that's brian is it brian i think so yeah our gay asian friend yeah gay mexican asian yes yes yes oh brian brian brian was the man do brian he's brilliant we used to go so we would literally three four days a week we'd be on expectations for like a year straight every morning man moses it was terrible yeah my liver was we were going to across the street there's an ivy bar i can't so i can't drink anymore it's like the donut everywhere you just be like let's go there brian has uh a crush oh brian yeah brian was like i bang you elon i'm like thank you thank you you are a good looking small dude thank you i i appreciate i appreciate

that yeah you're a good looking small dude hey i, you can be the straightest man in the world. If man, woman, whoever, like gives you a compliment and says you're hot, I mean, you blush a little. Yeah. Yeah. He was like, hey, what's up? He always, I get texts when they go, like anyone that goes there, like,

In the comments today, guys, put some compliments about Eli and narrator. Leave me out of it. No, please, for the love of God. Put some real good compliments about Betty. Yeah, just real nice ones. Speaking of things that make you blush. I got these.

You just pull up a picture of your butthole. What do you guys are missing out but here you go so I get no skates swords so for our audio listeners right now your narrator's

playing with swords I have he brought swords to the podcast all of our guests sucked none of them bring swords for the Hashira and

and funny enough true super funny enough these are actually for you two. Wait, what? Yeah. Batty, we have to trade because I have these. No.

Yeah, we have to trade. I want these ones. Batty, I already have these. You cannot go like, yes, this is how we do it. This is how we do it. Okay. I got, okay. Rock, paper, scissors on who hung up the sign by themselves.

No. Okay, rock paper scissors on who hung up the sign by themselves. No Betty give me this fucking blades bad. No no otherwise. He has to just take it back. Why are you starting fights? What? Just all the background like you're like I just trying to do something not you still hold ceiling. He's just on the background like, you're like, are you trying to do something nice? He's still holding them just. I know. I'm so happy. This is great. This is like Christmas.

It's like Christmas, like if my parents cared. Shing. Wow. This is like Christmas. My dad watches this podcast. It makes it okay. Oh, okay, cool. This is like Christmas if my parents could afford Christmas presents.

And they got the, of course they got the stands over there. So wherever you want to put them, feel free. Oh, this is perfect for the unsub hat. We got swords. We're collecting swords for the podcast. There you go.

Oh my God. And then you're just doing a selfie mid thing. Thank you. First off. Take a selfie mid podcast. I'm going to thank him first. Do it. Oh, wait. Flip it. Flip it. Portrait, portrait, portrait to thank him first. Oh, wait, flip it.

Flip it. Portrait, portrait, portrait. There you go. That's perfect. Thank you. Your narrator. Oh, you, you are quite welcome. Just cut to that.

Wait, Fluck, just do a little Roto and no, look at your camera. Okay. It's just hard. a baddie look at his camera just straight looks like he got pierced and they dude thank you so much yeah of course guys like my the level of nerd you are you are the only one that keeps up as much manga as me manga i'm not used to that. I used to forever ago and then I stopped reading manga because I stopped giving a fuck because I was depressed.

It was real sad so that's the story. Yeah, I got depressed and read more. Really? I drank. One was not healthy. Every mattress has a 20 year warranty. Some even has 25 and you can try it out

for 101 night if you don't like it you can how do you put up with him do you just you tune him out like your child no hard feelings one of my favorite parts about this is your fault is that mattress has cooling technology in it. So you don't get hot at night unless you're Batty. You can tell he sweats. Do you sweat, Batty? Does the cooling technology help that? Batty, wrong camera.

You have to look at that camera. GhostBed also offers bundles so you can get everything you need. It's kind of like Santa. He's still going, Sav. He's literally a child. You have to ignore. Right now, GhostBed is is offering 30 off of everything if you use code unsubscribe at checkout or visit ghostbed.com slash why do you have a christmas

hat on because it's christmas time hi guys do you want a better night's sleep for christmas maybe you don't want saint nick waking you up i don't that's why ghostbed.com is having a 30% off if you use code unsub right now or to go to www.ghostbed.com slash unsubscribe and get your 30% off on your new cooling technologically advanced pillow. I looked at mattress. Mattress and bedding technology. Bedding technology. That's what I'm going to call sex from now on. Bedding technology.

That's what I'm going to call sex from now on. Bedding technology. So good, it keeps batty cool in the evenings in Texas. Not in this house, though. Not in this house still. It's like batty's old house. It just follows batty. It's worse.

It is. It follows batty. It's actually worse. I didn't think it could get worse. But good thing this pillow has cooling technology to keep us cool. Even in this literally insufferably hot house. Not right now. Cause the heater was off. Yeah.

It's not good. It's cold. It's not cool. It's hot in here. You're hot right now. Hey, big age. Are you hot?

Yeah. Me fucking too. Oh, Merry Christmas. Big Henry Cavill. Also, I would just like to formally apologize about the Superman and the Witcher thing. We love you.

We love you. What is this? We love you. We're doing ad reads. Stop it. It's not a podcast. This isn't an ad read. Yeah, but you can put it somewhere in there.

Dude, don't. Adam, are you looking at me or Big Ed? You. I'm looking at you. Let me see. Use code unsubscribe over at ghost bed calm guys But not a reason I recently I picked up my hair because I couldn't wait I literally could not wait to just watch my hair. I was like I need more right so I bought manga Are you caught up? Yes? Are you done? I'm like two is it chapters the not you're missing one good chapter with Deku back

Cuz I've seen obviously vigilante Deku. Dude. Did you catch? Yeah? Okay wait? You both have seen the comeback of my boy Lemillion. Oh, yeah Let's go. He is my favorite. He is bait. Oh, have you not been there yet? Oh, okay. All right Warning just a slight. Yeah, yeah, right here Dude I'm like Go on you were saying how far are you what happened? Deck UK as I saw vigilante Deku. came back they found him and he's like I gotta go But then he didn't actually go knows yeah, okay

Wait are they what okay wait then he his friends found him and stuff and he's like hanging out with his friends again Then he had to fight something some but I don't remember Legitimately spent a few months wait are they okay? So are they in the big fatty they release those every week? Those are like oh that I'm probably more than a few behind They're like are they going down? I Remember they went to a headquarters. Okay. Yes, and it wasn't the right thing Right because the head kid not everyone was at the headquarters and then they were fighting sugar rocky. Yes. Okay. Yep, so You're past that. Yes. Okay, so you saw the comeback of a million. Yes, okay? Go that's all yeah, so cool. Okay?

I was I was like He's my favorite. He's actually I love his eyes. We should you're a dude. I can't wait for the game to come out Game is that the fighting they're doing a fighting game right? Yeah, so it's It's not just a side-scroller fighting game, okay It is is this like some DBZ fucking flying 3d fighter? It's gonna be that isn't it DBZ fighter was amazing for kind of it's it's a joy It's kind of like that. It's a gigantic arena. I I want you get to my hero RPG. Oh Yeah, I would only be... Holy shit. There's a fucking memory unlock.

Did you guys remember the Heroes and Villains games? The MMO? I never played it. The DC game. I did not play it either. Heroes and Villains? No, it was a DC. It was close to...

It wasn't Marvel or DC. It was Custom Heroes. It was an MMO. It was like City city city of heroes you guys ever play that holy shit that was i forgot about that game i like that game was fun you gotta just you randomly would you could have powers and you could pick your powers and you could upgrade them into different paths and branches what happened to that game that game was a fucking riot man holy shit i shit. I miss OG MMOs.

I never played it. No, Eli, we are never going back to EverQuest. Star Wars Galaxies, anything like that. I miss RuneScape. RuneScape? Star Wars Galaxies is a perfect example of how you should do MMOs and the example of a Jedi. Did you guys read the history? It's like two years to find the first jedi it took

two fucking years for someone to figure out how to unlock a jedi but that can't happen now no we're at a different time of gaming there's no people do not have the time the patient the game would fail put out a star wars game like a mmo star wars game without jedi the game would fail and on top of that the way the internet is now, one person would get it. Guess what? Everybody would be there in a week. They would data mine the shit out. That's what happened.

Like now it's data mining. You can't make games like that. It's not possible anymore to have that style of mystery in a game. Podcasts are great because they help us make the most out of our routine. We learn about the fall of the Ottoman Empire while we drive, keep up with news while we take the dog for a walk, or turn folding laundry into a comedy show. Make the most out of your time with the PC Insider's World Elite MasterCard, a credit card that can get you unlimited free grocery delivery

and the most PC Optimum points on everyday purchases. The PC Insider's World Elite MasterCard. The card for living unlimited. Conditions apply to all benefits. Visit pcfinancial.ca for details. We were talking about wait, that was a 10. Where did I go? My hero, my hero, my hero, my hero. We were on a tangent. One punch man. Also new one dropped yesterday and two days ago and that shit's about to fucking pop up. Everyone's saying that it's the whole thing where he's like well it's official he can now beat goku and all everyone's like what do you mean and now

it's now that's a war i think he because as they are we talking manga or anime manga okay because are you caught up caught up okay because his his power is exponential like his exponential growth on a god level he just gets stronger and stronger so there's a gap that will always happen yep and you're like oh homeboy could probably be go because he wasn't even pushed during that fight and i'm a goku yeah i'm a dude goku stan yeah ultra ultra instinctive your hand tattoo that's go is Goku? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I got it. Ooh. I got my Dragon Ball. I got my Dragon Ball Z gauges in today. Oh, that's cool.

I've watched it all. What? It's on your gauge. Yeah. I was like, hey, it's in Matty's gauge. But I'm like, this is a nerdy fucking episode. I love it. This is.

DBC has something like Super was okay. You watched your opinion super sucked It was not the best super was awful. They had a few no no the Cool the freakouts when he goes ultra instinct. Mm-hmm. There was a there was a couple Way good mom mixing things up super was fun. I'm mixing things up. Super was fun. I like Super. GT sucked. Yeah, GT. Sorry, I mixed up. GT doesn't exist anymore. No, no. Yeah, they just...

But there were some cool moments in Super, especially when he fought Kefla and he fucking rode her energy cannon with a Kamehameha ball, rode it all the way up to her and went surprise shoulder and just went did you did you watch the slowdown video of how he was riding the energy video uh wave because

on the breakdown when she's shooting her energy blast uh he's using those small key channels on his feet and hands that's why he traveled up it yeah so there's bro they like went into debt like yeah science with chi or ki ki chi kai kai ben kai kai ok kai ok do it apparently barbie and ken do i love that freaking uh uh and then we just go on Ultra Instinct And now we have Fujita went Super Ego Is what he's called I hate he lost his eyebrows I hate Super Saiyan 3 and Ego So he went Super Saiyan Blue

And then he pushed it And then it went I'm even more blue And his eyebrows went It was purple hair It was like a mixture between It went, I'm even more blue. And his eyebrows are gone? And his eyebrows went. It was purple hair. It was like a mixture between. Oh, honey.

It was like, imagine if Super Saiyan Blue had like. It went to Ascended Saiyan, but it was like right in the middle between Ascended Saiyan and Super Saiyan 3. When like he loses the eyebrows. It was like. Yeah. And then he's like. Did the eyebrows actually go away i just realized he just evolved into somebody that's gonna be offended by everything his purple hair and no eyebrows vegeta just transcended into somebody that hates everything he just descended into my tight for a while there Super saying three in that form. I have no idea where

They're like, let's get rid of these. All right. No, let's talk about DBZ or I'm just saying I could go from super saying one being so fucking hard to two just being a little tougher same fucking shit Okay. Well two was actually a big hard one because remember there's no fucking difference that was what i'm saying to three being like bam mullet yep like omega dragon fucking hair mullet to four which they reconned which is no longer a thing i could i know it's an unpopular opinion because it's GT but like for was pretty cool Yeah, super saiyan for list for when they went to the monkey. Yeah. Yeah, they brother say it kind of made sense So you're like a monkey but you're a dude still yeah, I was like it was cool super saiyan for Gogeta was

killer Yep Killer all the earrings Gogeta wasn't earrings. Oh, the earrings. Gojira wasn't earrings. That was fusion. Was that fusion? Yeah, but Gojira was... Gojira was the earrings.

The earrings. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys are fucking nerds. God, I... Me? Hey, how much... I think I'm him. I'm like, I found someone.

We're jerking each other off over here right now. No, you're Gojira. No, you're Goku. Yeah, man. Fuck you both. both cuddle your swords that's what happened on the last episode with sexual acts we fuck here we go again i just maybe that's what it is maybe it was the nerd boner it was too strong for them just man you get me going on dude uh emirates of a shadow a shadow of Emirates. Have you watched that yet?

Yeah, bro, what was it I Atomic Dude it is one of the funniest What is this what are we talking about? He wants to be a background character So he does all these things to mean he wants to be a background character, so he does all these things. What do you mean he wants to be a background character? Think of like the most badass dude like on a whole different scale. The anime is just breaking the fourfold constantly. Imagine a world where like obviously it's anime.

Imagine an anime world where there's magic, right? Imagine this. Imagine a world of magic. I was just saying that to Chris and Wes. Imagine Lord of the Rings and there's elves. But everyone's like, like Oh like someone has like You know normal magic like Fire, water

This dude is an atomic bomb That's his magic He is a gangster But Does he die when he goes up? This is the clip This is what it sounds like Alright here we go

blah blah blah blah blah blah oh god this is my almighty power and then just a nuke a nuke not okay that's kind of cool all right okay what is this show shadow of emirates right or emirates of shadow emirates of shadow that's the city oh oh yeah he goes fucking oh he's a bad guy no no but because he can the energy launched that far uh even though the energy launched that

far out he can control what detonates in it he expanded it to the entire city but only chose like what explodes in it. My man controls shit on an atomic level. Okay. That's kind of badass. So I'm like, his secondary. I love his like his cyst. Everyone thinks he's a scrub in his normal like day to day life.

And so this is just a magical version of one punch man. No, he wants to be a he is choosing yeah essentially except except except for saitama wants to be like a hero a hero and this guy's like i just want to i just want to exist i just want to be in the background i don't care however if you hurt anything i care about you're gone but he fails into those positions of he was like oh the background what story what story do I need I'm gonna ask this girlfriend uh ask the princess to be my my my girlfriend and then that will have a good character our background character because she'll like uh she'll shun me in front of everyone. And I'll be like, ah! And then she's like, yeah. And he's like, sure. And he's like, no, no.

I want to be left alone. I want to be in the background. You don't say yes to this. And she's like, yeah, you're cute. And I'm like, bro, if it were that easy. Oh, it's not. Hey, yo, princess. Looking good.

She's like sitting on her throne like, Sheesh. Okay. I just love the face because he's like acting nervous. He's like, will you be my girlfriend? He's like, and she's like, yes. He's like, wait, wait, dead ass? Yeah, and he's like, what the fuck?

That work? No, I don't want. Oh, Yeah. And he's like, what the fuck? That word? No, I don't want. Oh, God. It's immediately like back place. And then it builds off of that of all the just us. I don't have time to watch more anime right now. We do have a healer. No, we are not talking about redo of a healer.

No, no, no, no. Okay. Real quick. I interrupted this for everyone. I'm getting a tattoo that you both are going to love. Drew drew this. Drew my god. Okay, real quick. I interrupted this for everyone watching. I'm getting a tattoo that you both are gonna love. Drew drew this. Drew drew this. Do you have photos?

I do not. But I'm, But you. Because it was when I was getting the other ones done, he showed me this sample and nobody else would get this tattoo. Nobody would get the tattoo. All right.

And y'all know, obviously, Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood or full metal aqua yep and we all know um tucker and his uh daughter and don't you dare don't you he has he drew no the daughter and the dog doing the fusion dance you You need to stop. You need to stop. If you get that shit on your body, I am getting that tattooed on me. I will disown you, Benny. His girlfriend

was like, nobody's coming. They're banned from the shop if somebody gets this tattoo. I'm like, I'm getting it. I'm putting that shit on the back of my leg, dude. I was rolling. Oh, Nina. There it is. Oh my my god i couldn't even name good luck put up nina just so sure what nina looks like real quick because you're like oh no that's a messed up dad nina and the dog doing the fusion pose with her face touching it i was like

yep and it has the full metal circle behind them yeah oh yeah I've made a humuncula The ultimate I'm so fucking excited. That's like one of the worst Most bet that was the worst best thing I've ever seen my entire life My god God I forgot like one punch is going insane All the animes right now are kicking. I do Vinland saga Episode one release of season two. I haven't seen it. I haven't seen it. Don't you dare? Okay? I like Guys go watch Vinland saga season two go watch season one if you've never seen been gonna gonna call this episode anime spoilers oh my god dude vinland suck but season two just started uh episode one came out on the 10th and it starts good and if you are into like viking lore and everything it honestly that

that people ask me constantly like good anime to start with um made lynn song i i don't often recommend vinland song and i think that would be a really good because it's it's an anime but it's it's viking it's not like it's not your typical fucking anime it's not superheroes it's not magic it's fucking it's it's the vikings tv show it made me happy in in anime form and it's fucking awesome it's bloody and hellish it's great good show it makes me go it makes my heart go doki doki but yeah that one started and then that's pretty much the only big ones that are out right now demon slayers march right or is it my hero march one of the

two are march my hero is doing it right now so demon Demon Slayer is March. March or late Feb, right? Is it? I think so. I'm almost positive, yeah. I would believe so. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Because I'm like watching that and then my hero Demon School, which is Urimukum. Yeah, sure. Say it

in Asian. Thank you. Say it in Asian. Not Japanese. Asian. I don't know! Say it in Asian. Not Japanese. Asian. I don't know. Why are you doing that? Say it in Mexican. Say it in Mexican. I don't know it in Mexican.

Why don't you know Spanish? Poor kid. Yeah. Piquito Español. I'm a terrible Mexican. We all know this. But why, do you like, maybe, okay, remember when you had your hyper fixation kicked in and you learned how to play the piano?

Yeah, maybe you fucking learned like a little bit of Spanish. I forgot I just learned the piano because I wanted to learn I learned the piano for no fucking reason He's got hyper fixation issues and find something to latch on to it some people Excited on something I'm like must learn When you're touching the cameras, I'm like, I'm just going to step back. I will. He's going to. You're in your own world. Yeah.

I need algorithms. Chess is now my. The algorithms. Yeah. Chess has been your new hyper fixation. Bro. Right? Dude.

You play chess? You throw down some chess? Dude, I haven't played chess in probably 10 years. That was. In fourth grade, I won a trophy for playing chess. I used to be very good at chess. Dude. And then I stopped.

In fourth grade, I was learning how to do cursive really fast so I can get extra time on recess. When you guys... Hold on, real quick. How old are you again? Can you say that? Is that a thing? Yeah, I'm 27.

So you're 27. I'm 32 years old. Did you have to learn cursive in high school? Middle school? Middle school. I don't think I wrote in cursive once in high school. Oh, no. I wasn't technically in middle school until...

Wait. Sixth grade. Wait. Fourth grade is high school. Oh no, I wasn't technically in middle school until wait, sixth grade. Wait, fourth grade is middle school. Fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth. That's middle school. Sixth, seventh, eighth. Yeah, sixth, seventh, eighth. Fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth. Fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth for me was...

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth was middle school for me and then ninth, tenth, eleventh, twelfth was high school for me, and then 9th, 10th, 11th, 12th was high school. So 1 through 4, yeah. 1 through 4, 5 through 8, and then 9 through 12. Every four years, yeah. Fuck off, Eli. No, there's going to be a whole bunch of comments.

Everyone's like, wait, what? It was K through 5. In the US. K through 5. K through 5. What? No, we had K and then 1, 2, 3 2 3 4 and then 5 6 7 8 9 to 11 12 We went by force. No one of our present Okay, wait cuz we had K through we're unpacking some childhood trauma right now, it's gonna be good it's K through 4

Okay, this is going to be the common section. It's going to be like, uh, this? I actually went K through five. Wait, K through, wait, one through, oh my God. Kindergarten. Yep. One through. The white chocolate macadamia cream cold brew from Starbucks is made just the way you like it. Handcrafted cold foam topped with toasted cookie crumble. It's a sweet summer twist on iced coffee.

Your cold brew is ready at Starbucks. Four. Then five through six or five through eight and then nine through 12. Cause we didn't count. We didn't really count a preschool or kindergarten. As a preschool. Yeah. Preschool kindergarten.

We're like their own deal. And then we go one through four yep and then five through eight and then this might be nine thing he's old as shit maybe it was for him that's why we just we just got the by fours i mean it was fours for me it was it was kindergarten uh then my middle school was one through uh first through fourth wait whoa k through k through five k through five is elementary elementary is an american term for the education period from kindergarten to fifth grade it receives equal amount of criticism uh-huh and when when was that wrote 1932 when was that wrote is it was it written recently in the 2023 politically correct bullshit while many early

childhood experts deem it too closely aligned with the more developmental inappropriate watered-down early elementary teaching methods administrations and policy makers see it is a way to integrate kindergarten under the guise of the no children left behind act of 2001 which i was already out i mean i was at high school oh yeah yeah that's why you guys would have had a different... There you go. In sixth grade, you were in sixth. I was at war.

I do believe so. Were you already in the military when 9-11 happened? No, 9-11 was high school. Then you got out and went to war. I dropped out. Wait, wait. What year did you graduate?

He didn't. I dropped out. Okay, what year did you drop out? What year were you? I graduated high school at 2013. So wait, wait. Okay, so 2009 you were getting into high school. Yes. 2000. And you were in sixth grade when I was in war. I just started. So I just started, uh, middle middle school. I don't know. I was my second year middle school. Yeah. Motherfucker was looking at geometry like nah. And Eli's like, ah! I was hanging out with my super cool science teacher,

Mr. Smith, because he was super duper old, had like a huge big hunchback, and every day he would say the same stuff. He'd come into class, and he'd be like, hey, everybody, how's it going? We'd be like, hi, Mr. Smith, how's your day? And he's like, man, I'm high on life

right now. Let's start class and I'm like Hell yeah, you are and he drove the Volkswagen bus beetle. Look at so he was probably actually Oh, no, there were certain days were like you could easily tell you could easily smell it off him Then he's like let's learn about Adams Yeah, dude and the days that he got like too baked he would come in you would smell it vcr would roll out like movie day oh dude no he would he would be like uh just uh because it was like you walk in the door in the center of the classroom there's like the square of desks and then along the edges like on the sides in the back there were all

computers so when he was get when he would get too high he would be like it's a free lab day and we're like hell yeah and i would just be on like freaking apple studio like the apple music studio just like making beats just because i was bored and i'm just like he's like are you learning and like every time he'd come around i would just like quickly switch back to the safari and it would just be like atoms and neutrinos and electrons and i'm like i'm learning so much mr smith god it's such a different world because you guys had like computers in like every class um i remember this was actually pretty crazy i remember i also had an english teacher first computer lab when my school,

I think it was fifth grade for me, when they started using computers like that shit. Because that would have been 2000. I went to high school in 2004. So this would have been like 2000. Yeah. 2000, 2001. And we got a computer lab.

And I remember we learned how to animate something frame by frame, pixel by pixel. Dude, it was fun. It was cool because that was new. I know it was new. MX Flash. I can't even remember what it was. It would have been MX Flash. Because that's before Adobe.

It was like the MX Flash, MX Photoshop. I feel like it was a Microsoft. I don't think it was. Yeah the MX Flash, MX Photoshop. I feel like it was a Microsoft. I think, I feel like, I don't know. I don't think it was, yeah. Yeah. I remember the MX Photoshop. That shit was. But I remember you would place your pixels and you would screenshot or take your photo.

You'd move to the next frame. Yep. And you would be animate, you'd be stop motioning basically pixel by pixel. And you would make, our goal like the other guys was make a 30 frame movie So once I mean a volcano erupting. I don't remember how or why I just remember that just goes But yeah, that was like

We were playing quarters Yeah, when you... Batty, do you know quarters? I feel like I used to do, but I... You had to keep the quarters spinning? Yeah, well, we did. You'd have to touch it if you knocked it over. You got, like, punched in the nose.

Well, there was... Well, no, we... No, it was that one. You launched it at your knuckles! Yeah! Yeah! Holy shit! That was the best one.

We would keep it spinning, and then whoever couldn't keep it spinning, you'd be like, all right, knuckles. And then you'd take it with your thumb and go as hard as you can. And just bleed. But now our knuckles are just calloused. This episode is going to be core memories.

Dude, it is! Core memories is the title of this episode. I can't wait to go to therapy because I remember a thought I shouldn't have remembered. The other core memories. Please tell me I'm not the only one when you were a kid. Like, if you're driving nowadays, you're just driving. Like, if you're in a passenger seat, you're just looking at shit. That's fine.

Tell me I wasn't the only one as a kid that would see an anime or a stick figure just running along the side of the car and jumping over trees and sliding, grinding the rails, the side rails and shit. Are you okay? No, you didn't do that? No, my imagination doesn't work. Oh, that sucks for you, dude. Did you? What pills are you on? Stratera. Your parents are

feeding you ass. Am I really the only one that had that? I would watch. I would pretend like my fingers would rage. You never did that? No. I would watch. I would pretend like my fingers like were legs. Yeah, all the time. And I'd be like,

shh. Wait, you never did that, You never did this? Like with your fingers, you'd like pretend it was like running on the side of the road and like jump over stuff and like run up the cars.

I feel like I need to say yes so you guys stop looking at me like I'm an idiot, but like no, I don't think I do. This is why we're best friends, Betty. Whoa.

Mom, dad, please stop fighting. We do this. I was like, and then you'd count the, the poles. Yeah. I'm going to count poles, bro. And you'd be like, uh, please stop fighting. We do this. I was like, and then you'd count the poles. Yeah. Is that why

the T-Rex game on Chrome when it crashes or your internet goes out is so much fun? Yeah. The T-Rex game is just like, little tiny legs, you gotta jump. Yeah. The T-Rex game on Google Chrome. Open a Chrome window and shut off your internet. Oh What has a built-in game? No shit. Oh, you don't know this a little t-rex appears

We're like the web page you won't doesn't work anymore And if you click he just starts running and it turns into like a fucking jump game. I love the jingle jingle I know our chains jump game i love the jingle jingle i know it's really good for a podcast but tell the story no i didn't even know that but yeah the man long drive suck because you'd have we'd have our game boy bro game boy my pocket i re-bought no no i re-bought my old pocket so you got the brick i know you have the brick i have a brick too the brick on long drives though, especially overnight guess what it's not back Let's scream, so you're just like nope and the battery Which is it you fuck you parents

Not legal to put on you fuck dumb like you lied to us our entire childhood I don't think I was ever told it was illegal. I was just told it was annoying. Yeah like me turn that music down I can't see You do is turn down you're like cuz it's my sights better it's it's too it's weird because it's so much noise It's too much noise. So you're like it's too distracting and then like the moment you turn off the radio You're like oh, I can see everything like neural net processors learning computer I couldn't understand what's going on. Oh my God, dude. I had that. Oh, shit. Dude, everyone's experience.

You get to watch those little things. You're like, just idioms. Dude. Three, two, happy New Year's. Happy New Year's from our friends over at Manscaped. The ball has officially dropped, but don't drop the ball on your balls in 2023. Just read over there. I'm going to take care of something real quick while we're doing this ad copy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like it. Whether you had a New Year's kiss or not, the leaders in the below the waist grooming have you covered for your much needed resolution bringing sexy back. Trim in that lower area. Join the 7 million men worldwide who trust manscaped with our exclusive offer to go to manscaped.com and use code unsub 20 20 off using code on some over at manscaped.com and free shipping let us have a toast for the new year a new you and no pubes maybe like a little bit of pubes like if you shave it into like a little heart or like a diamond little landing

strip get creative have fun check it out use the new lawnmower talking points do not read i was talking about new grooming don't read the part that says do not read oh okay sorry inside the performance package 4.0 you'll find this talk this is the performance package 4.0 right oh yeah that's it i don't know this is a pretty awesome package though says manscaped let's ask ryan reynolds what he thinks about that inside the performance package 4.0 this is my ryan reynolds face you'll find the signature lawnmower 4.0 the advanced skin safe technology reduces the cut and nicks on your delicate parts also comes equipped with your 4k led spotlight that will shine a light to the promised lands 2023 looks to be how you like that. Ryan Reynolds.

I don't know. I use that voice for him. It's like his weird, quiet voice. It is. Hey, yeah. Hi,

Ryan Reynolds here. That was embarrassing to complete this set. Manscaped through in a shrewd travel bag and anti-chafing box of briefs. It has a free gift to keep all those goodies stored comfortably just like that underwear does for baddie's balls i'm wearing those right now baddie show your balls no just blur out his face we'll pretend those are his testicles that's rude and shave your testicles that are now your face call the action you already did that part yes it's already done you're so bad at ad reads did you travel a lot as kids no god uh i i did by myself same because i had divorced parents well that was later my parents got divorced when i like

the moment i got to germany uh a couple days later army for the army as an adult as an adult I literally divorce yeah oh they were waiting for you to get out of the house yeah which like uh he's in Germany fuck you I am so done with you um but but uh it sucks because like my little sister got like the whole run end of it but I mean now she's used that to her advantage and she went back and forth. Two Christmases. But it's whatever. Did you blame your little sister for your parents divorce?

No. I was the one that was like if they ever got in fights and stuff I would be like running out at like 11am when they're screaming and i'm like and i would uh the first time i ever like actually cursed out my mom and dad like really pissed off cursed them out was right then and there because they were yelling at like 11 11 30 p.m at p.m

and it was a school night and by this time i think my sister was like seven and so i walked out of the door uh out of my bedroom, walked down the hallway in the living room, and I saw them arguing in the kitchen. And they both caught me out of the corner of their eye as they were arguing. And I walked in and I was like, shut the fuck up! And they're like, excuse me?

And I'm like, no, you're excused. Sydney's got fucking, she she's got a school in like five or six hours that we gotta get up for i don't care what you're doing shut up go to bed and then i turned around and walked my little fucking like 14 15 little ass back to my room and i slammed the door and i was like i like my parents wouldn't talk to me, but they wouldn't fight either for like three days. Oh yeah. That's going to be like,

you're like that little fucker has a point. Yeah. Son of a bitch. Weird. So I was like, we're the assholes. Aren't we? Oh,

but it was also funny because I, when I first got to Germany, I was like, they're getting better. So I bought two oil canvas paintings that were like two grand each on a private salary so i was going month by month until i got to specialist to pay them off and then they're like hey we're divorced and i'm like so these are mine now and they're still in my house this is like a family portrait no no no

one at one is uh like a nice black and white, no, no, no. One is like a nice black and white kind of grayscale ocean and wave and stuff like that. Oh my God. I thought you meant you got like little parents. No, no, no, no.

I was like, why would I lose your parents like this? No, no, no, no. And then they sent it back apart. It's like a... It's a rift. Like,

you just took a no-skate sword and just... Yeah, it's like, holy shit. We got some news. We hate each other. It's your fault. Surprise.

You were what held them together. They were afraid to fight with you around in the house. Oh, yeah. Because I would call them out on the bullshit. But it was funny. But she literally, when they told me, they were just like, so we're going to get a divorce. And I was like, okay, I got PT in five minutes.

I'll talk to you later. She's like, wait, what? I'm like, bye. Because I knew it was coming. So I was like, eh, yes, whatever. It happens. I know you didn't see this coming. Flashback to all the fights.

Yeah, I did. 100%. No, it makes sense. I get it. I was mentally prepared for you guys to split since 15. Yeah. I don't know why you held on. Yeah.

I was like, bye. I got to work out in the morning. It's like, I'm going to war. Just kidding. For the trauma. Yeah.

No, I'm going to the Connex. So you've always been picky about your produce produce but now you find yourself checking every label to make sure it's canadian so be it at sobees we always pick guaranteed fresh canadian produce first restrictions apply see in store or online for details literally everything i'll slap a serial number on it so that one dude who's slightly higher ranked than my platoon sergeant can come out, look at it, and go, yes, this is a pile. And then do that seven days in a row so one other dude who's slightly higher ranked than the last guy can go, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, this is a pile. We call this the dog and pony show if you've never experienced it.

Fuck games is another personal favorite. Oh, yes, yes, yes. the dog and pony show if you've never experienced it fuck games is another personal favorite oh yes yes yes like much uh very very good uh slang that the military uses like of the fuel hose is called the donkey dick it's pretty cool god i forgot about every wish i forgot about all of it those are those things when i think about all the dumb shit you have to do in the military it's that extra god they could not pay me enough to go back like we've had this discussion how much i have i mean i have a story about that but i don't know if i can say it on the podcast about getting offered a bunch of money to go back no no no no no no no no no oh it's it's a it's a it's a story okay i think i can say

there's no lines we can change the names well it's not the names it's kind of what happened i'm fine with it we've talked about a lot of bad stuff yeah well of course we're fine with it are you fine i'm fine with it it's just like i'm making sure you guys are ripping the fuck apart let's go i just told myself last week. It's mainly YouTube. YouTube's fine. Alright, so I'll make it extremely quick. I had it.

Because we've all had bad NCOs. Oh my god, the worst. Fuck you, Lamp. Well, this one in particular was a staff sergeant. We'll call him Staff Sergeant Smith for the sake of... Was he your science teacher? Oh, shit, that's right.

I just thought of Smith. Anyway. He followed me. But no, so Sergeant Smith, airboats, he already kind of picked on me sometimes. Whatever. I thought it was just leadership shit. I was like, whatever.

Good old hazing. Yeah, exactly. But it was way past the due. Because I was a specialist at the time. I'm like, shut up. Whatever. Oh, yeah. But all of a sudden, one week, he came in just on my case out of nowhere yeah like one of

those he was like we were setting up stuff for uh like the leadership yeah he just rolled in he was like clean it clean the trucks and clean all of the uh equipment because they were getting ready for the whole dog and pony show for the uh because they were going to go to Hohenfels, so the giant game of laser tag, essentially, training, whatever. But I cleaned them all. I took them to the scrub area, scrubbed them all down by hand, soap, let them soak, dried them out,

laid them all out nice and neat, and I put all the long ones in one side, all the short ones right next to it. They're pretty. He comes up, sees it, takes a couple steps back, gets his boots purposely muddy, comes back and stomps on them all. And he goes, why didn't you clean them? And I'm like, I'm going to lose my rank for this.

And I was like, what are you talking about? What are you talking about, Big Sarge? He's just like, also, why are they laid out like this? And I'm like, excuse me? And he's like, how come they're not laid out long, short, long, short, long, short? And I'm like, I'm going to. Yeah. Okay. So he would do stuff like that.

I was the gunner on the 50 calv on top of the striker. He told me, when I'm the gunner with live ammunition, said my ammo was in wrong when I racked around. It's in there of a 200-round belt. He unloaded it, took the whole belt out, and threw it in the snow and said, go get it and put it in the snow, and said, go get it and put it in right, and I went, it'd be a real shame if,

since this.50 cal is attached to a swivel, if it just went, whoop! Those turns are big. Anyway, so I got out, picked it up, put it back in, he goes, put it in right, and I go, oh. Put it in an upside down, can't close close it can't close the feed tray he's like why is this so hard for you and i'm like oh it's almost like there's only two ways to put it in

brass to the grass and i go he's like see and i'm like it's how it was before it's how it was before what's going on and he's like don't happen again fucking hate so i found out yeah so i found out the reason he was on my ass was because i looked like an older version of his son and at that time his mom died his dad passed away a few weeks later, his wife divorced him, took the dog, the dog, his everything. 50% of it.

He was, and he was showing up drunk every day, every day. And then like he, and he was saying weird, like shit, I've never even heard before. Like we,

we got the striker choke with the 50 count that had the rws system on it yep and i was like i'm super happy about it we took it out tried to shoot it in the snow for those of you who don't know it runs on thermals and if you're in the snow what can you not see eat cold there you go which means targets aren't lit up. Yeah. So he goes, why can't you hit anything? And I'm like, we cannot pop the top on the RWS system. Oh,

we have to use the screen. And he's like, fix it. It's snowing. And he looks at me and goes, I don't care if it's snowing or not. If you can't hit the target, I'll have you get out of the striker and throw snowballs and yell that bullshit fire

bolt you do i mean okay that'd be kind of funny though that was kind of funny that was kind of good that was kind of good i'm not gonna but then he tried to make me get out and actually throw rocks and snowballs and shit at targets and i was like you're funny but so what i found out though is that he got extremely extremely drunk we went to poland for nato he stayed back because he was super like he went to rehab he went to rehab imagine being the guy all right imagine being the dude on rear d you're me the dude on rear d bad It's me, the dude on rear D. Batty's life story. I was on rear D.

Legitimately, when I joined the army, I got put on rear D because it was already gone. Imagine me put on rear D and you're just sitting at troop. You're sitting there taking calls, that kind of shit. And the

only job you have is to watch this one dude who's on suicide watch. Crazy fast. You have one job just to watch him. You know he's got the vest on, the safety gear, everything. No belt, no shoelaces, still got the boots though. And my man goes, hey, I did all my taskings. I'm going to go grab lunch. And the guy goes, okay.

And just lets him go. An hour goes by. Doesn't show up. We know a half. Ryan Reynolds. Someone didn't do enough push-ups that day. 21 push-ups ain't enough, guys. Remember that.

22, though. That'll help. So we found out because we just got there on our way to Poland. We were stopping in, I think it was Latvia or Lithuania. It was one of the L's. But we got our first sergeant and commander walked in. They're like, hey, bad news about sergeant smith smith um he is no longer with us and i and everybody was like oh my god and like was like i can't believe

it and they were like i know you were going to therapy I was using therapy as an excuse just to get away from him for a bit. Yeah. And I went, and he's like, are you okay? And I looked at my captain. He's like, I know you guys had like a troubled past. Are you okay? And I was putting on my gear, and I was like, sir, I got gate guard. The fuck?

I got to go. And I walked out, and as I walked out, one of the Lithuan fuck. I gotta go. And I walked out. And as I walked out, one of the Lithuanians who I talked to earlier was asked me if I wanted like actual food. So we got that news. I then walked out where nobody's outside. And a Lithuanian soldier rolls up and goes like, hey, is that you? And I'm like, hey. He's like, I brought you cheeseburger and i'm like

whoa this day's awesome this is crazy so i picture the commander looking at you as you're walking away with your hamburger you jump up and click your house nobody nobody knew i got a cheeseburger because they were all the temp and i just walked out. I grabbed it from them. I crumpled the bag and put it between my flicking shit and I just sat there and I was like, this is the best day of my life.

Oh my god. Moral of the story, don't be a shitty NCO. Take care of your troops. It's pretty fucking easy. Yeah, like literally my buddy Casey who's in in oklahoma he me and him he was the one who taught me how to sham oh yeah and i feel and my like when we me and him were on rear d because it was like right as i was getting out and and he got uh hurt uh with his jaw uh he he was also fixed like it already hurt because it was nerd

damage thanks to the dentist. Army dentist, yay. I never told my army dentist to run the podcast. I did. Did you? They fucked up your... I said it was nine hours or eight hours because the dental van, because it's always a van,

generator kept dying. So every time they would give me NoviGain, it would die and they couldn't drill the tooth that didn't need to be drilled by the way they drilled the wrong tooth so nine hours of me sitting there they just had to keep numbing me until I had locked off like three days after they went through his nerve canal

and then after that they said after that they said he was good to deploy when we finally got get to Poland he trained with us for a couple days. And his truck was, you know, something was wrong with his truck. They went to the mobile little garage for it to take it out. Oh, man.

They had a gigantic freaking iron beam for one of the attachments. And Casey's up there. And all I hear is, bing. And then Casey's on the ground and it bonked him right through the face. Oh, right where it was. Right where it was for his nerve damage. And they were like, yeah, you're getting

out. So me and him were on rear D. Oh, God, bro. But I was like, when you put specialists in, like, especially lower rank, but like, not quite there, the sham artists in charge everybody on rear d it was like sergeant major the army showed up he was like casey you're now in control of troop or squadron he's like roger that's hard fucking whipped around he went away and he goes

all right here's what's gonna happen we have teams of three there's three quote-unquote put small platoons of you guys you guys are gonna do uh the trash you guys are going to do the cleaning over at that one area that needs to be cleaned and then you guys are going to uh just hang out around squadron and pick up really quick as soon as you guys are done with that tasking text me they we want we separated freaking maybe three hours go by they all text him and he goes cool go home they're like what he's like you you did it that's all we were tasked to do today go home don't get out of uniform stay in uniform just in case shit gets weird stay in uniform but just go to your rooms

and just lock the door do not answer for anybody only answer or leave if i text you and i was like oh those are the best fucking times was that uh the shamming i have so many sham stories oh dude we got to unit and we had to stand up. Give me a fucking, give me a solid Eli sham story. I need a good one. I will do some quick ones. So when we first got to the unit. Lightning round.

Lightning round, go. Infantry unit. Starting up a unit. 2CR. Boom, boom, boom. Because we were standing up 2CR in Fort Lewis. Okay. All right.

You said 2CR and i was like you guys then went to germany and then they started up 2cr and then went there we started up in fort lewis and then we switched to 2id now when we got there no guns a e4 was the first sergeant like everything was basic so you're just oh my god no we had um uh at that time it was first sergeant jones but then everyone else was e-force and charge so there was like nothing so it was go there first sergeant jones like he he selected what platoon first sergeant jones was a fucking like badass ranger combat diver went delta like yeah badass dude And he got stuck with you guys and he trained us like mother fuck, but he was very much a hey You're going to this platoon. What was would you shoot you like? What was your PT scores?

And I was like this and this was like actually okay. You're gonna just put you in boom boom boom do the ear thing yeah, I was like this Eli I was big your Eli at the time and But there there there there there he just assigned we'd go and then it was my sergeant at the we did a month of training we'd have guns so it was very much go to your classrooms and do teachings and we'd be like okay so we go do that and then they cut us by 11 every day for the first couple months months. And we got our E6s. My E6, Raina picked his squad based off of PT scores. He was just like, okay.

So he got everyone that could max PT score. That way when we did PT, he was like, everyone's going to do theirs. He's like, come on, guys. Let's go stretch it out for PT. We're stretching. He's like, all right, y'all, max PT scores. Let's go stretch it out for pt we're stretching he's like all right y'all max pt scores let's go denny's we were just jumping the vehicle and drive off and then go eat denny's we did that every day of the week because he knew anytime we had pt tests he was like as long as you guys stay 290

or above he's like we'll do this until we fucking deploy yeah exactly every fucking time we would do that and then uh sergeant we had one of the team leaders at that time brought us aside sorry he was like hey i'm gonna i got a dentist appointment everything he's like go stretch out the troops so we're like one over we're stretching out and then the lieutenant came over he's like hey guys hey i'm gonna join you guys today for some pt what are you guys doing and we're like you but fuck we gotta make some oh we're doing in the airfield oh i'll run the airfield with you we're like i guess we're running the air so we're like stretching out and when he's like charging he's like okay okay sorry i love it sorry randall walks up he's like hey sir he's like charging. He's like, okay, okay. Sorry, Raina. I love it. Sorry, Raina walks up. He's like, hey, sir. He's like, oh, sorry, Raina.

You're not joining. He's like, I got a class to do. What are you doing? He's like, I'm going to run the airfield with you guys. He's like, oh, the captain's calling you. Go say what he wanted to do. And he's like, oh, shit. He's like, I'll be right back.

He runs off. Little butter bars like, I'm going to go see the captain. He turns the corner. we're like stretching, Rain is like, GO! GO! Yeah he's like, what the fuck are you doing? Get out of here! I'm gonna, I wanna see how fast you can run that two mile. So we just like sprinted to the vehicles like,

and drove off real quick. And then he came back at 9am for formation, he's like, where'd you guys go? He's like, We decided the airfield wasn't enough, so we decided to run more. Yeah. I love your guys' energy. Man, dude. Every time.

One of the guys, like, wiped the syrup off his face. Like, yeah, it was real. Dude, this is why I was like, if you ever want, like, the smoothest running base of operations, like the smoothest base in the Army, if you want to do, all you got to do is this. Any kind of stupid detail that nobody wants to do all you got to do is this any kind of stupid detail that nobody wants to do you put the e4 mafia in charge when it comes to actual training

you put the ncos in charge everything will be done effectively effectively because i swear to you there is nothing more that if you go to the e4 mafia and go, hey, if you get X, Y, Z and done today, you're done. Yeah. You will watch the fastest cleaning ever. You will see the cleanest trucks, the cleanest bays. Oh, man. We won't miss a speck. You think that we can't mop up an entire whole entire platoon bay area when it's raining and keep it dry?

Bitch, we know exactly where the pop-up tents are we'll make it happen dude so fast we had when i had um oh man it was a weekend it was a weekend drill where we're gonna do a 15 mile road march what was it two days a 15 mile road march before that No, before that. A weekend drove. The Barneys? Oh, yeah. You said that. Weekend. Jay, how dare you? Just get to that, fuck. But it was a 15-mile road march.

All this dumb shit. They were like, okay, we're going to walk out there. We're training in the rain. We're going to do urban combat, blah, blah, blah, and then road march back after two days i was like oh why so they're like okay everyone get ready pack and i took my striker to the that needs to get it park it and they're like oh your striker's messed up you gotta get this fixed and then you can go i wasn't even the driver and i was like oh oh i have to stay with the striker and they're like oh your striker's messed up you gotta get this fixed and then you can go i wasn't even the driver and i was like oh oh i have to stay with the striker and they're like

yeah uh tell them you have to stay with the striker and i was like i ran back i was like hey guys i have to stay with the striker until this is fixed and then they're like okay well try to get it done by this time because we step out at that time i was like totally oh 100 don't want to miss the big road mark charge listen i'll try my best but listen it would behoove you to go without oh yeah behoove you fuck that word so i ran i like ran back to the thing i was like what's wrong with the thing they're like the seat it's not going up or down we have to have that for the mwr mws system i was like you can't not move this vehicle without that so i'm like sitting there and they're like okay uh we'll have it done by this and then i

just sat there at the thing watching at the motor pool they're like you're good so i'm like i'm like well what about the oil and stuff they're like oh yeah we need to change that i was like okay good and i'm just watching the barracks waiting to watch everyone walk away in formation and then i see like a line another line i was like okay there's not mine not mine that's not mine oh wait wait was that mine and then oh and then just like emperor palpatine just yes good yes young and young they're all looking at you and you're like give it to your head all of them walk away i'm like dopey shit hey is the vehicle done like it's all good park it i was like cool park that shit i'm going to denny's parked it walked back i was like hey because the e7 stayed behind yeah so uh the platoons are yeah platoons are step stay behind i got back i'm like

hey uh okay vehicle's finally done sorry for the the delay he's like oh it's all good let's give the paperwork i was like there and he's like well you missed out you're gonna miss the weekend training exercise so just yeah you just stay up in your room and uh just you can't leave you just have to stay in your room until everyone goes i was like okay i just have to stay in your room and tell everyone goes it was like okay I just had to stay in the barracks everything. He's like yeah, I was like easily. Oh, no, I am saddened that I am They came back and they're like how did you get out of that claim so i was like bro i play world of warcraft i was like i got it i literally got out at the perfect time when i got my dd214 i was getting out and they were going back to do another seven to eighth month round in bowen oh god and so i went to the px got a big thing of like roll-up paper and some colored sharpies and like the 3d effect

i wrote thank you and i just showed up and i'm like hi everyone and they're like dude i hate it because we gotta skip um what is the california training center for vehicles i always forget you have to do those vehicle training i was in the guard man yeah ours was uh wait for what to go to combat and deploy you have to do those like two months back in the day to train up that was hohenfels that was hohenfels what was it was like a month or two months and you i forget what it's called you had to go everyone put on the last gear or the l res gear whatever it's called. You had to go out. Everyone put on the LAS gear or the L-RAS gear, whatever it was called, and simulated combat with all of that stuff on

and they did it usually. That was Polk for me. Well, we did Polk. Yeah. That was Louisiana though. Well, we did Hohenfels because that was only two or three months. But then we also did like, we did the NATO shit. So we went to Poland for like seven or eight.

That was quote unquote, our deployment, which I don't count. It wasn't. But, but yeah, no. Hohenfels was the super fun,

go there for two or three months every time. I was, so I was in from 2013 to 2017. That means you do it once a year. I never went. Had you shammed out of it? I shammed out of all four. All four.

You were like, we got out of the NTSC? NTS? Something like that. Fuck, what is it called? JRTC. JRTC is what Polk was what the simulated all the fucking gear and you're there that might be it it was JRTC and there was also an NTC

NTC is what we but that's and then that was back to the other story when they were like they tried to immediately promote me to NCO only re-up me for one year instead of the three to four and then give me a 10 grand sign on bonus so that way i would be an nco but go back to poland for seven or eight months and i was like you're dumb you're like no not a million fucking years yeah but no no i need

to i also need a call or get a hold of my because again i found out my old platoon sergeant sergeant wade oh that's his real name sorry wade um he was he's he's super fucking cool he was a super cool platoon nco uh and like he always had our backs like our soldiers his soldiers he always had our backs but i found out like oh it was like a month or two ago that his son is a fan of my channel oh that's funny so i was like super cool so i'm trying to get a hold of them again because i'm already i already sent him sent him some merch to mail ah wait um but uh i want to either for a video or even for the podcast like i want to call him one time and be like i know for a fact you have some embarrassing stories with my ass help me out go on story time

yeah exactly because i know the i've got a we've all got a couple fucking funny stories so we got the military was such an experience and i went through like wartime oh yeah yeah completely different where it was just like yeah you could do drugs and when you pissed hot there was a 45 days they just demote you 45 days and they keep them in though they're like oh we need bodies you're that you're that body. I remember watching dudes get fucking just straight booted for weed like oh, yeah It was fucking insane Yep, our time we all would get locked in a room during piss test time and like, you know The ball gazers and shit and yeah, we'd have dudes there was always like three or four dudes at the end. They're like

I'm shy Lo and behold they got pissed hot but anytime somebody pissed hot dude they'd get us all the fucking gather yeah we'd all have to sit there and watch all the fucking shit again yeah some dude get dragged the fuck out the room holy shit dude we had so many people getting 45 days 45 days but not getting kicked out because they were like we need bodies you're staying the search and yeah there's a surge everyone's like you're staying the fuck in you're you're not getting out ntc we gotta completely skip which is a month of shit yeah they were like uh yo you guys are

deploying soon so you get a week train up we're coming to you what is it xtc no ours is ntc okay there's an xtc ndz and there's jrdz yeah that's it and we did they were like we're coming to you we're just going to train you up for a week and then that's it in fort lewis we're fucking good to go and it was it was just like rush rush rush rush yeah we got to get you over there get ready and we're like oh yeah getting back i shammed the hardest because that was when i got back it was the it was a weird in between they were they didn't put me in the right place so it was a switching of uh companies companies yep so i like show up to the company i'm supposed to be at i'm like and they go through and they call the names they don't

call mine they're like did i miss any names i was like i'm not raising my fucking new no eli smart it was like i just stay like this. Raise your hands. And then they're like, okay, everyone dismissed. Do whatever. And I was like, okay. I ran to the other thing. And it was like, Hey, did a sergeant call my name?

And they're like, no, I was like, fucking dope. So I was like, I'm a dude. I'm getting out of the of the military i'm gonna carry my docket and start out processing on my own so i showed up like it was two weeks of not showing up i show up finally and i'm talking one of my buddies and the unit i'm supposed to be in he's like oh eli what's up i was like uh fucking actually doing some paperwork today to get out and then one of the sergeant majors came up and he's like, Hey, our platoon,

a platoon Sergeant came up. He's like, Hey, fucking you. What the fuck are you doing? My buddy. And he was like, uh,

I'm just talking to Eli really quick. Uh, I'm going to do this. He's like, get down and do pushups. What the fuck? So he's like doing pushups. He's like,

what are you doing? I was like, I'm just X getting out. He's like, Oh, processing. Yeah. He's like,

who's, uh, who's older? Go on. Do you? And I was like, he walks off. My buddy gets getting out he's like l processing yeah he's like who's uh who's older go on do you and i was like he walks off my buddy gets up he's like you fuck he's like you're in my fucking platoon he doesn't know not that he knows so it's three months showing up to the base maybe three days out of three months that's awesome i was just getting out and that's when i was like getting all the gear in that is how you sham dude i was that is how you sham we got to do a public or we got to do private dentist they'd be like do you want to go to the military dentist or do you want

to go off base and go to a private dentist oh let me think private bro this whole like tooth drilling experience i said earlier, that was my last drill. Yep. Because I was getting out. I was already literally finished my out processing, but my last drill, I had to show up, and it just happened. I can't remember what the fuck it was called.

They'd go through all the checks to make sure you were green on everything, getting ready to fucking gear up for an appointment, which didn't fucking happen, but we had to do it yearly anyways. And they're like, nope, you got to go to the you gotta go then but i'm like can i go see my right i'm in the guard dude so i'm already not even on activity order anything i'm like can i just go to my regular dance nope gotta be green by the end of the day i'm like this is my last drill i had a stroke last month i'm walking with a cane at this point yeah and. And you're going to make me get my tooth. Sure. Sure. Drilled the wrong fucking tooth. Gave me a filling for no reason because they realized it was the wrong tooth.

Fucked up the van and I was there all day. I'm like, fuck you. God, I don't miss the military. Bro. I don't, bro. So dumb. Dickie Luce. So happy I have other people to talk about this shit with, dude. Oh my God.

I say stuff like this, and the boys look at me like I'm insane. Like I'm senile. Like, what are you talking about? Dude, combat. I have like a billion different random stories. I've told them many times. Wait, how many stories do you have? A billion.

Guys, thank you for watching the unsubscribe podcast. I'm MattyStreams. Eli DoubleDepth. And our reveal of MattyBoy. Your narrator, your favorite narrator. Do you have a billion guys? Your narrator your favorite narrator where can everybody find you real quick? It's on YouTube your narrator narrator all the boys. There we go And if you want to know about Eli's billion stories, you can check out the patreon you'll find the after party there Oh, which we go right into now. Whoa.