Unsubscribe Podcast - 94 - Fat & Angry ft. AngryCops & The Fat Electrician

Episode Date: February 23, 2023

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN AN UNSTOPPABLE FORCE MEETS AN IMMOVABLE OBJECT WELL THATS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN @the_fat_electrician AND @AngryCops MEET.  HERE WE GOOOOOOO Unsubscribe Podcast Ep94 - Fat & Angry ft. AngryCops and the_fat_electrician ​ ------------------------------ THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS!! Manscaped Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code UNSUB at https://www.manscaped.com/. That’s 20% off with free shipping at manscaped.com, and use code UNSUB. MANSCAPED® Beard Hedger, one stroke, one guard, 20 lengths. GhostBed Right now GhostBed is offering 30% off everything if you use the code UNSUBSCRIBE at checkout or visit https://www.ghostbed.com/pages/unsubscribe Kershaw Knives Use Code UNSUB20 for 20% off at https://kershaw.kaiusa.com/ ------------------------------ OUR MERCH: https://www.bunkerbranding.com/pages/unsubscribe-podcast JOIN THE PATREON NOW:  https://www.patreon.com/UnsubscribePodcast WE HAVE A SUBREDDIT??? https://www.reddit.com/r/UNSUBSCRIBEpodcast/ CHECK OUT https://outofregz.com/  CODE: UNSUB http://gfuel.com/discount/baddie CODE: BADDIE ------------------------------ WHERE TO LISTEN Spotify https://spoti.fi/2Ye8YOU Apple Podcasts https://apple.co/3cbqY4k Amazon https://amzn.to/2YbzQia Google Play https://bit.ly/2YcWmaD Stitcher https://bit.ly/3cbnY8o MORE LINKS! https://linktr.ee/UnsubscribePodCast ------------------------------ Follow the Cast of Unsubscribe -Baddie-            @BaddieStreams    https://www.twitch.tv/baddie https://twitter.com/BaddieStreams https://www.instagram.com/baddiestreams/ https://www.youtube.com/baddiestreams -Eli_Doubletap-             @EliDoubletap   https://www.instagram.com/eli_doubletap/ https://www.twitch.tv/Eli_Doubletap https://twitter.com/Eli_Doubletap https://www.youtube.com/c/EliDoubletap ------------------------------ Edited by Fluck https://www.twitch.tv/fluck twitchcon 2022 reaction Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Eli, I constantly like to fit in. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. At least your microphone's in focus. Did you hear the cord? No. Are we good? We on? Yeah.

That's what we had to wear. That's what I had to wear. I had it in my closet. God. It looked bad. Bro, just like. I liked it more than the blues. Everything screams bad 90s recruiting commercial with that uniform.

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That dude, one of my favorites, the guy getting off the bus. He's like, I just got back. My family's proud. He's just walking a desolate road, getting let off from just joining the military. You don't remember that? It's an Army old school commercial? Yeah. Army of One or something like that.

What a great campaign slogan. The Army of One where you immediately learn to have a battle buddy at all times and never do anything on your own because you're not an individual anymore. You're part of something bigger. The Army of One. Let's introvisualize it though.

That commercial, you don't remember that? He gets off the bus. He's like, my fam. And no family picked him up. He's just like walking to us. Just like a real deployment. Everybody's forgotten about you. You were gone for a year. They wrote letters the first two months, and then everybody moved on. You don't exist.

God, that'd be a great tier list. Where's that vodka? I just talked about a real memory. Best recruiting commercials is a tier list. Nico went over some really good Army commercials that didn't hit any views, which is weird because they were super solid. And they came out around or just before the same time that Emma and her two moms did. Shout out to Emma and her two moms. What is Emma and her two moms?

The recruiting commercials. I don't watch TV. No, it was always the internet thing too. I did a video on it, but I don't even watch my shit. No. I don't watch TV it was always the internet thing too I did a video on it but I don't even watch my shit I don't watch yours either so I guess we're even I watch your Instagram reels you're an alright guy god I can't hate you

I try to you're like the friend that just keeps coming back I text you guys when I watch your stuff because I don't watch Eli doesn't watch anything he also would fall into some sort of weird like ass burkers coma where he'd be guys i watched a video about pennies and now i know how to make meth it's racially ambiguous and batty that guy's fucking ridiculous and we don't know best

not to ask yourself why but my friend you've arrived welcome to unsubscribe coming from a bunch of army guys like you know how like the army values our leadership you know the acronym is leadership loyalty duty respect uh self-assertion, honor, integrity, personal courage. Okay, drill, sorry. Chill. We'll be sorry. My unit, we would always say, well, there's an extra value. It's called leaderships. And the S was spite.

And if you can't do it for anything else, do it for spite. And let me tell you, that got spite, got a lot of shit done. Spite got a lot of shit done. I remember hearing that. Holy shit. Leaderships. Oh, I don't miss military. There was a CA and silent campaign that we started in 2006, and it spread like wildfire

because it just makes sense. When did you start becoming a drill sergeant? 2012 was when I graduated drill sergeant school in October. When I graduated high school. I think I knew your mom. I recruited you. I have two dads. I ignored her. Do you really? No. mom. I recruited you. I have two dads. I ignored her.

Do you really? No. Well, I bought it. That's not a negative or a bad thing. It just looks like you got two dads. This is how we're starting this episode. And you still don't know who his real daddy is. Can we all please pick up a White Claw?

Hey-o. You got to crack it. I don't care. It's tradition is. Can we all please pick up a White Claw? Hey-oh. You gotta crack it. I don't care, it's tradition. It's like the Grog Bowl. You know. Mine was retarded. There, I got it. Yours was fine.

Oh, Tropical Pomelo Smash? Yeah, they got a whole bunch of new flavors. What is this? Little citrus. Yeah, this isn't like the White new flavors. What is this? A little citrus. Yeah, this isn't like the White Claw that I grew up on where it was like a whisper of flavor. This ain't your daddy's White Claw, brother. Yeah, this is your creepy... Okay, we're here!

...teacher's White Claw. Wait, sorry. Batty, do the intro. Continue, yeah. Do your intro. How fucking dare you? Welcome to Unsubscribe. I'm Eli Doubletap.

We are joined by Batty Streams, Angry Cops, and Fat Electrician. Go f*** yourself, Batty. No, we can't buy an intro. We have an intro at home. My first tour we used to do shit like that make funny little videos where or not even videos just moments just boy Okay, guys We showed up here at 630 But it turns out that they don't have the keys to open up the gate until 10 in the morning And we would just go like five of us that were tight. We just started screaming. I'm sure you did a lot of just dumb shit in the military. Like, like my mom. Nasty girl.

She was thirsty. Respect your father. Jesus Christ. She was thirsty. Respect your father. Jesus Christ. Both of them. Got two dads, but no balls this guy. No, as a military, I had the dumbest details. I've heard the other militaries are way worse. French 4 Legion has the dumbest details.

Do they paint rocks? They do? You painted rocks? They do. You painted rocks? You never saw painted rocks in the Army? Walkways where they were like. White rocks? Yeah. Yeah.

No. Yeah. Bridge 4. I've never had to paint the rocks. That's how racist the South is. They painted the rocks. We don't even want no colors. We want white rocks.

At Fort Bryant, North Carolina. Fort Bliss, Mississippi. We go here. For Liberty? How dare you? Did it change? As of this year, right? Isn't it Liberty?

Is it becoming Liberty? Yeah. Hey, listen, if we can't remember our losses, right, how are we going to ever remember Vietnam or Korea? I just... Right? Or Afghanistan. Cool.

White Rocks only. What's Bennington being changed to? Like freedom? You're just pouring more alcohol. I just thought you were like, oh, this is this episode. Freedom and liberty just sounds like bad ideas from generals. I can see why. For Benning, I'm surprised.

I'm like, that's Benning, man. I don't even know who General or Lieutenant Colonel Benning was. Hey, you're a military nerd. You tell us about all the smart things about Benning and why it's called that way. I don't know off the top of my head. He was like the most successful military tactician from the fucking south oh from the south well everybody like why the whole that's why they're doing all the rename is everything that's associated with the south yeah and all that so that's why they're renaming it but like which i'm not mad at i'm not mad at either my beef is that they just like typed in google top 10 most most patriotic America words. And that's all their name and shit.

Now, like the, the V 28, what are we going to name it? The valor, like wasn't bending the terrible, like fresh. At least next time we leave a southern base in Georgia or Atlanta or in

Georgia, it should be the guy that fucking burn it to the ground. What was the general's name that went down there in the South and burnt it? Start with an S, didn't it? Fort Moore is what Benning's being changed to. Moore, after Hal Moore. Oh, that's actually pretty cool. That's a good one. That's a great one. That's pretty cool. I think it's just...

Who's the Civil War general that lit fire to half the South as he conquered it? He was like, screw it. You guys want to secede? And he lit fire to the South. And the South hated him. He had a hit list on his head even after the Civil War was done. There's a statue in front of the

White House of the dude. It's on a horse. It's massive. Come on. I gotta Google this shit. I know. Now I'm looking. I'm like, oh God. Bragg is being changed to Liberty and Benning is being changed to Moore. The American scrimmage is not my forte as far as history goes. Scrimmage? The scrimmage is not my forte as far as history goes I do recall that Stonewall Jackson was voted most likely to secede in his high school

Please and gentlemen, the no laugh joke brought to you by the fat electrician. I'm mad. I'm mauling. Even a dad joke gets a chuckle from the guy that said it. Nothing from the order. Sherman was his name. General Sherman that burned down all of the South when he went through it. Like the tank?

Yeah, so I think the Sherman tank was named after him. Oh, he just fucked shit up on his way though. He was like, you guys know all this? No. So during the Civil War, obviously, once the North started winning in campaigns, he went down south and set fire to Savannah, Atlanta. And there was a swath that starts how a hurricane begins. It starts off a little small, and then it went. And everywhere he went, he just lit fire to the entire town.

He's like, this will fucking teach you. So it would be a hell of a nudge from a guy from New York to name a military post in the south after the guy that burned it the fuck down. No shit. That's Fort Sherman. Yes, it is. You fucking carpetbagger.

I want Fort Clay. That's what I want. Clay? Cassius Clay. He didn't join. Muhammad Ali. No, no, no. The man that Cassius Clay was named after. Oh.

Unknown. I don't even know that. The most gangster politician in American history. Cassius Marcellius Clay. Is he the guy that fought a dude in the Senate and bashed a dude's head in with a cane? Probably. But he was born on a plantation.

His father was a slave owner in Kentucky. He went to college, decided that he didn't like it, came back, inherited his family's fortune, freed all of his slaves, I think he kept the house, but he freed all of his slaves, and then he ran for public office, started a

newspaper, and then they did not like what he had for a message in the newspaper, then he ran for public office started a newspaper and then they did not like what he had for a message in the newspaper so he turned it into a armory like he had metal on all the exterior walls because he was somebody was going to ambush and he was going to john wick the whole situation had the whole newspaper thing rigged to blow with an escape hatch in case he had to throw down weren't they like mounted machine guns this shit for like interest there was a lot when he did that like it was like he had a throw down. Weren't there like mounted machine guns and shit for like entry? There was a lot when he did that. Like it was like.

He had a cannon at the top of the stairs. Like he was ready to throw down. Yeah, fuck around and find out. He was the fuck around and find out guy. He's a fucking crazy sword. That never happened. That's almost a mission because you've got all that pressure inside of a building. Ryan Reynolds mission. The S word.

The S word. The S word. Did I say it? Self-deletion. It's a mission? It's a beautiful movie. It's a movie. It's a movie. The AI doesn't differentiate.

The forever sleep? Yeah, there we go. So the newspaper never got attacked, but he did fight off like three assassination attempts. Somebody stabbed him. No, somebody shot him at a bridge He stabbed them with a bowie knife threw him off the bridge. God bless him He killed like four would-be assassins hard to swim when you got a hole You're just thinking cuz your lungs don't

Have impeccable balloons, but then yeah He he actually ran against Abraham Lincoln and he was the one that pressured Abraham Lincoln into the Emancipation Proclamation Because Abe Lincoln wasn't about splitting America. Yeah, he was drastically in together Yeah, he was the one that provided the social pressure on the other end Well, the war was already do it begun at that point and he was like I might as well free the slaves It's a moot. It's kind of a moot point right plus it'll at least it's a it's a good psyop for the slaves down you know south to the south because they're like wait a second that we just kibosh everything and kind of do our own little uh insurgency down here we'll be free boom brilliant cash this clay i forgot that dude was a fucking hard-ass.

Ended up dying of old age at 94. What? Yeah, in the 1800s. Yeah, 1800s. Fought off like four assassination attempts. Dude, he's a fucking hard-ass. That's when God's like, this one. I like this guy. We're going to keep him around.

And Satan's like, I'm going to kill this son of a bitch. And you're like, he's like, no. Fine. Fine. But when he's 94. I now picture God like that. He's like, there's a guy coming up to him with a gun, Jesus. He's going to stab him.

He's got a knife. You've activated my trap card. Listen, man, if there's something you should know about the south You can have a gun But you don't show up to a gun fight on a bridge With a knife You show up with a knife on a bridge fight to a gun There you have it ladies and gentlemen from Angry Cops

Always bring a knife to a bridge fight With a gun It makes perfect sense. What's better than a well-marbled ribeye sizzling on the barbecue? A well-marbled ribeye sizzling on the barbecue that was carefully selected by an Instacart shopper and delivered to your door. A well-marbled ribeye you ordered without even leaving the kiddie pool. Whatever groceries your summer calls for, Instacart has you covered. Download the Instacart app and enjoy $0 delivery fees on your first three orders.

Service fees, exclusions, and terms apply. Instacart. Groceries that over-deliver. Even if I said it wrong. It might make sense, but I'd prefer you made dollars. Jesus Christ. Yes. I'm turning your mic off. I said it wrong. It might make sense, but I prefer you made dollars. Jesus Christ. Yes. I'm turning your mic off.

I'm unplugging it. What do you want from me? Something better. Oh, my God. What? Oh, never mind. On that note, I'm going to exit this table and grab some vodka. Breaking news!

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and using code UNSUB and saving 20% off and free shipping. Look at that. I contact the entire time entire time you're using my scissors now too you're just you is that your kit now talking points it's my favorite part of the ad when eli reads the talking points it all starts with the beard hedger this thing is a juggernaut of fixing faces batty fix your face first, this cordless trimmer has a rotary wheel that gives you 20 positions of

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Watch. Oh, and it moves it on its own so okay. That's pretty cool. That's pretty cool Oh, I've always looked for this in a freaking trim Because I always trim short so this is actually real good. It's one piece It's cordless, but you have 18 different clip-ons that change the the length it just raises or lowers the guard I'm gonna let you guys know yes. This is for beards. You can use it on your pubes too, dude Okay, man scape that's dope so get 20% off and free shipping use code on seven man scape I'm this 20% off. You should be a code man scape code. No code on sub at man scape calm Thank God we got you got so it's already uncapped Smells like grandma's kisses. What?

Kisses, okay. I took me a second to process what does that grandma's titties grandma wasn't a wet nurse for that long Then we know what a wet nurse is look up we know yep, do you we wish I didn't now Grandma wet nurse I'll take I'll take some father that oh man. Oh man. Oh, man. It's nice having you back around, Rich. Dude, both of you. You were just here? We do have me here as well. I just wanted both of you together to watch the chaos unfold. Oh, God.

And our text group started hard. You calling him poor. That's also true. He can't even afford a K on his name. And his phone is not an... We're at Green Texas. We are. Can't even afford a K on his name. And his phone is not an... You get that green text. Yeah, green text. When you get that blue or that green text in the group chat, you're like...

I get irrationally angry. TikTok can't track me because it's an iPhone. I don't believe that. That's not true. I'll take... That's a lie. You honestly expect me to believe that Steve Jobs has your back from the grave? He's too dumb to not eat not fruit.

So you're saying that a ghost with superpowers can't save me? That would be the most pretentious ghost of all time. Have you seen any footage of him ever? You didn't dig he should turn off your locations, huh? Thank you for saving me, Steve Jobs. Just the ghost wearing a black turtleneck.

The worst. Yeah, just the guy in that little ghost trail. It's like Catherine was just floating around judging you. Simon Cowell? No, you idiot. Steve Jobs. Are you British too? I was in California. around judging you like hey simon cowell no you idiot it's me steve jobs are you british too i was in california i thought i saw you in dancing with the stars i was dead before then oh no treatable cancer

does that did he really have treatable cancer i mean so here's the the conspiracy theory with this he was a fruititarian. He literally only ate fruit. That's a thing? Did you just make that word? Fruititarian. No, I swear to God. I'm dead ass serious. I eat you every day of the week, you delicious little fruit.

Ooh. Hey. Ooh. You ever had a ham job? I'm right here. A ham job? Hand. Oh, no, I want a ham job.

I want to put those two big pieces of meat together. I'll give you a ham career. You're going to be happy cops by the time I'm done with you. I'm going to braise you with butter and barbecue sauce. That's what I'm going to do. Go subscribe to our Patreon. I'm about to put some southern meat between two fine pieces of bread. I don't like his image at all.

Anyways, he's a fruititarian, and then he ended up dying of pancreatic cancer. Pancreas produces insulin for your body. They assume that that's why it was all messed up because he only ate fruit, which is basically just fibrous sugar and whatever. And then when Ashton Kutcher did the movie Jobs and he did the fruititarian diet being a method actor, he got hospitalized with pancreatic problems.

Yeah, when I think of Ashton Kutcher, I think method actor. I think Ashton Kutcher and- Do I think Ashton Kutcher and he was stoned the whole time for somebody. Which one? He's actually stone. I did not enjoy that 70s show. I didn't watch it.

I loved it. It's got canned laughter in it. I can't stand it. Really? I can't stand it. You have to respect that. That's one of the classics that pioneered that. It is.

It's a classic for what? Everyone. Everyone? No. That 70s show is universally loved. Absolutely. Yeah, I see all of its reruns on. Oh, I don't.

Friends. Friends is like Universal. Friends is true. Oh, my gosh. I'm too old. Some comedian. Okay, Ashton K. These guys are like too old. Universal. Friends. Some comedian.

Okay, Ashton Kutcher, Daniel Day-Lewis. Say it. Who is Daniel Day-Lewis? There will be blood. I was like, Maddie, so help me God. If you compare Ashton Kutcher's acting. You don't know Daniel Day-Lewis, motherfucker? Who is Daniel Day-Lewis?

Fucking Abe Leakey. The nemesis of Daniel Night-Lewis, motherf- Who is Daniel Day-Lewis? Fucking Abe Lincoln. The nemesis of Daniel Night-Lewis. Listen here, kids. This is what happens when you go on internet all day. All right? You don't have a personality. All you know is- Whoa! What do you mean I don't have a personality? All you know is video game, haiku, anime titties, and now you don't know

anything about actual real people doing things and probably being real life assholes and what is there will be blood uh i haven't seen it but it's based on the rockefellers or it's one of the one of the oil tycoon i know enough about oil it's based on yeah it's based on an oil tycoon and it i watch a lot of fucking movies it's no i'm sorry classic movie uh what's the one with leonardo dicaprio the gangs in new york he's the hatter butcher guy with the glass eye. Glass eye, yeah.

Oh, fuck. Who am I thinking of? Who's the guy? Oh, man. Last of the Mohicans. Yeah, I haven't even seen that one. I know all the clips about it, but I haven't seen it.

Daniel, Two Left Feet? Two Left Feet? No, that's not him. Are you saying real things? Okay, Daniel Day-Lewis is a method actor to the degree of when he did Abe Lincoln or the other one. Or he did Lincoln. Yeah, Lincoln.

That's another recent one. Who was he when he was wheelchair bound? I forget. He wasn't too left feet. That was the most recent. He would not get out of his wheelchair. Yeah, he made people carry him. Yeah.

But that's shitty stuff. I saw a quote about method acting from another actor. It's like method acting is what you do to cover up that you're an asshole i've heard that too because like everybody that does it is an asshole you become a burden on everyone you're like no no i have to live the life the person i'm portraying is like or you could just well act it do you know what he did on last of the mohicans he lived out in the area by so didn't have to have the crew with him he built his own fucking log cabin and lived off the land where they were filming last mohican so he understood he wouldn't bathe or anything but they're like yeah daniel you do you bro like

you're fucking gold the man has every award from acting he is one of the greatest actors ever you know what and as we all know by the ratings, awards about acting really matter. Yeah, it's not predetermined by the award ceremony. Never mind. FanDuel Casino's exclusive live dealer studio has your chance at the number one feeling, winning, which beats even the 27th best feeling, saying I do. Who wants this last parachute?

I do. Enjoy the number one feeling, winning, in an exciting live dealer studio exclusively on fan duel casino where winning is undefeated 19 plus and physically located in ontario gambling problem call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca please play responsibly christian balvin you know him batdie he's a method actor christian oh so help me god he's a method yeah he actually fought crime in chicago in a black suit that's how method i can surprise he fucking survived he had to hire a clown off fighter

to kill his parents yeah his parents are dead one of his friends that was a lawyer, he threw acid on half his face. Holy shit. He's heavy, Dad. Holy shit. Swear to me. Swear to me. I don't wear hockey pants.

So you're saying if I lick this little red button, it's going to set off an explosion? You know the knockoff guy? That's what I just said. Yeah, yeah. It's fucking good. Dr. Fishy. No! You're white bread, Superman. You fucking suck. He used to have a late night show.

His name was Phil something. Pete Holmes. That's Pete Holmes? Pete Holmes is one of the most talented comedians, writers, late night show talk hosts. Give Pete Holmes some fun. You absolutely should. He's way out of our league. He's way out of our league.

He's amazing. I don't know how he doesn't have a show. He's at Conan level. Oh, yeah. He's at Conan level. Conan is the only late night show guy that I liked. Stephen Colbert let me down when he stopped being a funny funny sarcastic version of you know then the Colbert rapport like when he was lampooning both sides now he's just a bleeding heart like chode

that isn't funny anymore which crushes me because I loved him he drew a line Jimmy Fallon is Jimmy Fallon became white bread he used to be fun and entertaining and then they were just like let's steal his thoughts on the daily show? Jon Stewart. The new one? No, Jon Stewart. No. Well, Jon Stewart's great, but he's got a new show on Apple TV, and he lost. He's like, I don't know.

Oh, I didn't know he had a new show. Nobody, yeah. He lost it. Let me tell you a story, right? So you get Jon Stewart in The Daily Show for years, bringing young comedians on. Did you want this off your fucking chest for the... He's getting everyone with the boot.

You're going to stab him? You're going to catch these... No, it's all right. It's a verbal boxing match, and I'm about to Tyson his retardedness. What does that make me? Buster Douglas? No, you're like that gang member that wore chains and tried to fight Tyson because he thought it was hardcore, and then Tyson knocked him out in like 30 seconds. Are you going to keep referring to other men, or are you just going to get to it?

No, I'm just going to look at your lined up beard like you're a Hispanic kid that's visiting the North for the first time and put fun to your beard. That's what I'm going to do. Let's keep going. Why couldn't you just let the mustache go into the sides? You had to come down at a sharp angle, just like your view count. I just went. I'm coming in hot right now. Because you made a horrible joke.

You boop me and I'm fucking pissed. You want to boop the tiger? You get the horns. You boop the tiger? You get the horns. Hashtag tiger horns. That is a new shirt. Tiger horns. I wasn't going to draw.

All right, if you're listening, I need you to draw like cranes. I want a picture of a tiger with fucking horns. I love tiger horns. I need to see everyone's drawings of tiger horns. Send it in. Whatever one's the best will make a fucking shirt. You boop the tiger. I don't care what you said Yeah, the knife hand just got defeated by the scalpel finger

Nothing on it precision Yeah, Jon Stewart so he said Sarah the Daily Show brought bunch of people in. Amazing. Great content. Hungry dudes. They went on to create their own shows.

And then he brought in Trevor Noah. Then he was on Half Baked. Don't forget that part. He was on Half Baked. Holy shit, he was on Half Baked. He was on Half Baked. And he brought in Trevor Noah because he retired. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I knew it was going to happen. I'm like, dude, I know you want to spend time with your family. That's great. You should do that. And I saw Trevor Noah's comedy. And I'm like, dude, I know you want to spend time with your family. That's great. You should do that. And I saw Trevor Noah's comedy. And his stand-up comedy is hysterical. But him getting on and preaching to me every day while he grows his hair out during COVID to be like, see, I don't even have to go get a haircut even though I'm super wealthy.

And I'm going to stay in my room to, like, project. So how great I am and better than you? He's such a chode. He's such an arrogant chode that it just ruined the Daily Show. And he's stepping down. I don't know. He's dating my boo Dua Lipa. I don't know how she got bamboozled by his craziness. What if he's got a great dick?

Oh yeah. I mean it goes without saying, right? His craziness might just be paychecks. Well yeah, but Jon Stewart wasn't worried about paychecks. Well, yeah, but Jon Stewart wasn't worried about paychecks, but he would hit everybody high and low. He really would.

Left and right did not matter. It didn't matter. You were getting it. He was established at the point. It's like South Park. No, he wasn't. He was throwing haymakers when he was a nobody and just started the show. But it wasn't the political climate we are in now versus when Trevor took over. over yeah but if you're an og with it you'd like that's like oh yeah i agree completely i think he should have

done that but if if he's coming in and homeboys make an x amount because they can pay him that it's just like south park south park can charge whatever they want they're like hey here's your fucking dime you do whatever you want you make whatever joke you loved you know literally drew muhammad you know who refuses to sell out ricky gervais he's still him oh he got up because he hosted one of the was it wasn't the grammys it was an acting one he got up there and he opened up the speech with like none of you are entitled to lecture normal people about life. Yep. Yeah. Take your award and shut the fuck up. He's done like two or three times. So it's the best interviews are because he's like, I just go super fucking hard hoping they won't call me back.

And then by year he's done four or five now. And every year they're like, Hey, you want to be back? He was like, I just made fun of Mel Gibson. He gets the views. Yep.

And what the hell is sugar tits? Like, bro, I view sugar tits is like a like an insult i don't know what it is it just is have you seen what he said about mel gibson when mel gibson when he's calling him out yeah i like a drink but not as much as this guy this is after like his oh when he had his little voicemail yeah mel gibson's a weird cat like how do you like eat like Hollywood was like you said something anti-semitic you're done He was like I'm gonna make apocalypto with a whole bunch of no-name nobodies, and it's gonna crush Oh by the way, it's in like a dead language. You have to read subtitles Such a great movie. There's like not even language in it. They had to let him back They were like all right you went against the Jews, but you won this time

That dude told an entire story and there's like seven lines of dialogue the entire time. He's just massacring people. You know how good a movie has to be for me to be willing to fucking read? Really good. It's fantastic. It's probably one of my favorite movies of all time. You look a lot like the fat chubby kid that was at the top of the pyramid that was like watching people get cut open. He's just like Hey listen, listen, I can't take anything you say seriously.

It's not going to be an insult because you got like an Etch-a-Sketch light bright tattoo on both of your arms. So, you know, what am I going to do when a five-year-old tries to color by number? I'm right here. Oh, no. Yours looks like an acid trip, but that's okay. Oh, a bad acid trip. A poor acid trip is what I call it. Put you put an arrow into your your doodad. Your fire symbol. No the arrow was there first. Don't forget the snake. I didn't cover it up. Oh I would have. I'm just I'm enjoying all of this. So you know what's great is whenever I say a really good mean comment to him. Can I see hands real quick whenever I see a really good mean comment? I actually see one of his tattoos go down So I know it's funny

He was full on the start It started already Half another one goes down it's like beep That's what I do You take a shot and it's like Hopefully you guys are doing push-ups tonight. We're all vets. Now I'll do 21.

I get it. Who's the... You guys aren't going to have PTSD. Oh, you said you were going to do it, so I would just do 21 because I wouldn't prevent your death because that was the joke. 22 push-ups to stop it, but I'd stop one short

so then you would fulfill it. Jesus Christ. Well,'d see him that's the point math jokes i can't do that richard just i love that you're just constantly like i got the only reason you're not getting them is because you're building me up literally you'll say something smart that's like you always do and i'll come after you you look i can't wait for you to get you literally just a toddler throwing haymakers after you got third graded can't wait for you to get you literally just a toddler thrown haymakers after you got third graded and now you're just you're out of control i couldn't i couldn't hear a word you said after that heavy breathing asthma boy is that children break it up where this thumbnail so easy it's gonna be you with a black eye and you with a black eye

can you put the sleep apnea machine on him so he knows why he's breathing so heavy? He's looking like the bad guy of Road Fury. Yeah. Just the mask right here. Give me the fuel. Walk away. Walk away. I need to body breathe.

Walk away. That's a great movie, though. That's a good movie. It is really good. The remake wasn't bad, either. I enjoyed the remake. I liked it. Tom Hardy, right? Yeah.

Tom Hardy stays as the road warrior, but they bring Celine Dion or whatever her name is in. Celine Dion! And Sharon Stone. And she does a great job as a one-armed bandit, you know? My favorite part is Tom Hardy crushes a dollar he didn't say it's single line and dialogue get your head off the microphone they're gonna hear your I feel like I'm at an auction with the auctioneer just going, what the fuck is happening? Welcome to the range, man.

This is the first time you guys have met, which is so fun. Get it over here. This is the first time they've met, so this is like, we're just going to sit up together. This is what we call testing boundaries, so if it happens off camera. Yeah, and there's like usually a safe word, but they didn't start with one, so I can go wherever I want to go. Oh no. Typical.

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Oh, I did want to talk about. No. Because you are. No. Last of us. Has he been watching the show? I haven't. I heard that the recent episode where they made.

So. I'm going to get deep. Oh, God. So Velma sucks. How many times have you not said that before? A lot. I was going to make a joke. I was like, no, I'm going to behave.

No, Rich, because people don't watch the show. Listen, it's not the ones that you expect that make you laugh. It's the ones that you don't expect that get you right so they ruined velma right they ruined i haven't seen it but i heard it was like everybody's got to be a different point of view in a different race you know and they didn't make it interesting like yeah they just made trash let's make it scooby-doo where's scooby-doo out's not in the show. They changed things up just to change things up and didn't add to the character. Right. Which is fucking stupid.

But in The Last of Us, they did it perfectly. So I'm told. Yep. With. All the characters. What's his name? Joel? No, no, no.

Ron Swanson. Ron Swanson. Bill and Frank. Yeah. It was Ron Swanson. Because I don't think he was gay in. He was in the game. He was in the game.

Yeah. Oh, then i'm mistaken another video game faux pas by angry cops are we fucking surprised so he was in the game if you remember because you did play it was he was like that who's my partner they cut him down he was the only one that wore that he still lived in that same little village they were just separate he was the only one that wore that and then when they were driving away ellie brought out the gay porno mag that they found at his house. In the show or the game and in the show.

They did both. Yeah. So that's why she's like, whoa, it's like dudes, dudes or whatever the mag is. Well, that's what they're going to do with that. And he's like, don't don't look at that. It was that from Bill's house. But I'm told that like showing their relationship was like heartbreaking. Like they did a really, really good. I don't have HBO I should buy it. I should just watch it for that and also um

Do you watch Chernobyl? No, oh Mad at that show Okay, we'll get into that in a second shit. Wait. Okay, look bad. He's like we just don't like the Sun That's why we look like this. We just don't tan well. What? What? God damn it, man.

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Learn more about Samsung Vision AI televisions at Samsung.com. So, okay. Last of us. It was the third episode. I know, a little.com. So, okay. Last of us. It was the third episode. I know a little bit of spoilery, whatever. The Bill and Frank story was wonderful. There were some tactical oddities, which we've covered. Stupidity.

Yes, tactical stupidities. But it was FUDs being FUDs. That's right. He was a FUD. Everyone was like, well, he was hardcore prep. Yeah, he's a FUD. Everyone was like, well, he was hardcore prep. Oh yeah. He's a FUD. He's a loot crate.

It happened in 2002. A what? A loonacrate? He's a loot crate. Kill me with all the loot. He was a guy that collected a bunch of stuff, but didn't have the skills to defend it. Yeah. Yeah.

Kind of like you, you collect a bunch of knowledge, but you don't have the skills to defend it. Not a good one. You're reaching. My bad. Yeah. I'm reaching. Oh man. You're right. Rich is reaching. Not a good one? You're reaching. My bad. Yeah, I'm reaching. You're right. Rich is reaching.

He's just mad you booped. He is. I see it. He's never been booped. The line has been crossed. That was the line. That was his Pearl Harbor. America's going to war, baby.

He's already reported you on Instagram. He's trying to get you. He's getting you shadow banned now. I Twitter me too'd him already. Unwanted touching. At that moment, I was a woman. And you assaulted my breasts. And now I've transferred back to a man.

Because only a man can properly defend himself. First of all, I can still smell your mustache. That's not true. That's a manly mustache. Because I kissed you on the lips while you were sleeping. That's why. Don't worry about that. You ran out of chapstick and I worry about you.

I hate that image. What the best arena is for. You lean in, you smell, it's like, oh, he's added chapstick. You put it on. Yeah, then you're like. That's a great skit. And when you walk away, oh, yeah, that's a great skit. Yeah that's a great yeah we're gonna we're gonna do that i'm comfortable enough to dub in somebody else's face for that real dry hard cut to it's i just like you going

down like you had a string of spit connect the top one to the bottom one it was wet i think you were actually a little aroused by that which i can't blame you that skit is that though you're like and then his when your lips are perched on you. That skit is that, though. You're like... And then his, when your lips are perched on his, his eyes are like... Is that Blake? And then you come up and you're like, you're good, buddy. I already know a better ending. I already know a better ending. I just walk away. He's like...

That's it. It's a start to Lips and Lips. Mix the two. He wakes up and he just stares as you go, you're good, buddy. You walk away. And then after he's like... Bubblegum? Mix the two. No up he just stares as you go you're good buddy you walk away and then after he's like jerry bubblegum gotta mix the two no no it's got to be like you walk up with the 90 degree angle flashlight with the red lens cap and shine it directly in my face and i don't wake up and then you do it you've got fire watch yeah that's what you whisper afterwards. You got Firewatch. Yeah, always kiss the homies goodnight.

That's the end. Yeah. Yeah, that's black screen, white. Their title card, but no sponsor. It's not for the lip balm or anything. It's like, whoa. Brought to you by PTSD. Taste the burn pit. Oh, burn pits.

Good. John's bringing it back. Yeah, so he does, like, really good fighting stuff for vets. Taste the burn pit Burn pits Yeah, so he does like really good fighting stuff for vets Unfortunately his show is just it got taken over by a guy who was a great stand-up comedian And then a horrible interviewer of people on the whole side Trevor no, no, no, yeah terrible way If you get famous for one thing you're just not automatically good at a bunch of other random shit i know look at me i'm a horrible cop

i was waiting for somebody to say i was like well i'll hit that ball first i love you have so many viral videos as a cop as a cop my normal job normal job yeah i'm just dispensing you know love and the law evenly across all communities because each viral video is a different person of color cut into the intro of special victims unit i got i got a white guy, Hispanic guy, an African American. Equal strokes for equal folks. Each viral video was a different person

of ethnicity to include whites. That is diversity. If that's not diversity, I don't know what is. The white one, you're like, okay, I'm good on this one though. Oh, the white one, he got a tongue lashing. He got the whole, man. Oh that was the judge. He got the full knife hand. Yeah.

Listen, you're old man. Oh yeah, that was the... Yeah, that got intensity in ten cities. That was the judge, right? Yeah. The federal, state federal judge, state judge. Here, I don't give a fuck if you wear pajamas to work I'm running the show here nice row Billy bitch tits

Welcome to the law And then it changes his knife hand. I really, really enjoy college students that hate capitalism bitching about Batman. I do find it funny. I don't get it. They actually bitch and be like, Batman is the equivalent of if Elon Musk made a bat suit as a billionaire and ran around and beat up homeless people for misdemeanors. And I'm like, I mean, it's not wrong. It fixed the homeless population

in California. And he's already trying to do that. He's building a tunnel where he's going to bury them all. I mean, that's not I'm starting that. He read the tactics from World War I where the British tunneled underneath all the other trenches and blew them up. Engineers, baby, lead the way.

I loveman just beating up homeless people little crimes stop flashing your cockatoo children on the sidewalk. I don't wear hockey pants. Except it'd be Elon Musk saying it. Do your voice. I don't have Elon Musk.

No, do the autism voice. Which one? Do autism voice for Elon, but like him being Batman and punching people. Let me think how Ryan talks. Got it. Okay, and that was for trust blessing. like him being Batman. Let me think how he talks. Got it. Okay. And that was for trust question. Thank you so much. And then Elon flies off like this

with his belt. Like magic fingers as he flies off into the sunset. He's stimming as he's going away. He's stimming super hard. He rolls up in the cyber truck. Does he Naruto run? No, he's going away. He's stimming super hard. He rolls up in the Cybertruck. Does he Naruto run? Does he Naruto run? No, no, no.

He's too old for that. No, if you watch Ride and Run, he definitely never does the knot. He's like, his hands are everywhere. It's like this. Controversial topic. Go. All right. So I watch videos on the internet sometimes, and sometimes they're on these channels that are

like I want somebody from the right and somebody from the left arguing against each other. I don't know if it's vice, but it's things like this. And one of the videos was can you spot the person who is gay, right? Either female, lesbian, or male, gay, right? Whatever, both gay. And so this one girl goes, I've heard a stereotype that gay men can't throw, period. Right? So they give a baseball to a dude who's there.

You know, it's like one person's gay and the other people are straight and they're trying to figure out who's gay. Right? And they win money if they do. And they give him a baseball. And this dude throws the baseball the gayest throw I've ever seen. And I'm like, I've never heard that. I've never heard that before. That gay men can't throw.

I mean, it sounds like it could make sense because they're not really doing sports the most time you've gone for a stereotype. You know, and I'm like, all right, well, whatever. And this dude goes, yeah. And like backhands the ball like a sassy magician trying to like show you. Is this your card? And I'm like, oh, shit. And so, yeah, that was a weird thing that I learned. I wanted to share it with you.

I don't know where it went, but I just wanted to share that. And that is a story of how Don't Ask, Don't Tell got eliminated. I could make you guys throw a grenade. Specialist shops, I'll throw this grenade. Oh, I forget his name. Who is the Delta guy from Blackhawk Down? Social media, he's like the Viking.

Viking tactical, Kyle Lamb. Kyle Lamb. Do you guys know who we're talking about? So Kyle Lamb, he was social media. He was one of the Delta guys that did the trigger. He's like, this is my safety. The actual guy. It's Viking tactical, right?

This is my trigger, not this is my trigger. Or my safety. This is my safety. That is one thing he makes people do. It's your left, your right-handed, right-handed. It's making you guys throw something with the left hand, and he films it. Hysterical. Dude, that's when you turn into a thing.

Because he makes all his Delta boys do it. Hysterical. Dude, that's when you turn into a thing. Because he makes all his Delta boys do it. Yeah. That's fantastic. He's like, oh, this is really. So it's the exact same thing? Just gay guys? I feel like in every tier of friendship or in like a school or a unit or military branch, whatever. Whenever you, anything, any sphere, there's always like a build you up.

Like, Hey, you got here. Like you did this training. You fought really hard. You're at this level, but it's a level, right? There's levels after that. And so whenever you get there and you're the new guy that reached that high level, there's the guys that have been there for a while that have to go, Hey, listen, you're, you think you're cool, right? But we've been doing this for a while, this level you're not, you just think you are because you finished and you're cool, right? But we've been doing this for a while, this level. You're not. You just think you are because you finished and you're up here now. So let me break you down real quick. Hazing.

Some people call it hazing. But some people just like use hazing. Hazing is the word. Hazing is the word. They give them people. They do a thing to show you that, no, you don't know shit yet. And you still need to get that experience. And that's great.

That's a great way to be like, I'm Delta. I'm a seal. I'm fucking awesome. Throw this football with your left hand. great way to be like I'm Delta. I'm a seal. I'm a fucking awesome throw this football with your left hand Your name is now pizzazz what you mean well cuz you went When I went through about warfare I was the new infantry guy like I was crushing the school And then I had a couple ranger guys there there They're like you better the army about a minute Come here. Oh, man. Okay. You know I'm like a fucking e2 fucking I just got a patch

I was a fuzzy before like I were teaching what qualifying means I'm like qualifying qualifying. Oh no. Oh, yeah Oh, no. Oh, yeah upside down until I passed out and broke my nose. I swear. I just fucked my whole shit up. I thought you couldn't pass out. Your nose is broken? Not anymore. This was.

It looks straight. It looks straight. Usually guys with jacked up noses look like this. My nose has been fucked up a lot. Like rugby and shit. But no. Oh, I forgot you played rugby. That's right.

No, upside down on a tree for fucking. I don't know, like five or six minutes. Isn't this great? Like, you guys are nerds. We're kind of normal. And yet we're all like in-shaped guys that have done hardcore stuff-ish, you know, in some aspects of it. But we can all come here and talk about

the nerd stuff that you guys do that we don't because we're still more manly than you. And that's nice that we can all be friends even though we're different and you guys are lame. Man. I didn't even have to look at his elbow for that. You know why? Because I'm a man and I don't need cheat codes to high five. Where's your purple heart at?

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you'll be ready for anything this truck month. Truck month is on now. Ask your GMC dealer for details. Oh, you don't need to leave me out here. Come in and talk to us. Don't, don't. Truck Month is on now. Ask your GMC dealer for details. Yeah, guard boys just sitting on the sidelines. That's your team, man. You know it's money I wasted for the fucking army? The two of you are like radio, but at least radio played. It's a Cuba Gooding Jr., but the entire time they're like, no, buddy, just wait. It's a boring job playing defense for Uncle Sam, let me tell you.

Playing defense? We were on the sideline. We didn't get a play. Yeah, you were on the sideline. You were just like, tell me your coach. You're like, coach, put me in, man. I'm ready. You're like Rudy, but nobody put their jerseys down.

They're like, nah, we're just going to. We'll see you out there, bud. Go Notre Dame, find Irish. Oh, fuck. Yeah, we're making fun of Eli, right? Is that right? Fuck you. Everybody brought up a good point.

I've been blown up. I got a TBI. I don't know. That's like a weird subject for me. Honestly, like weird. I got blown up. I got a TBI. And I was fucked up for a couple days.

But the guy in front of me, the gunner had shrapnel in his chest. He had a TBI. I think I was fucked up for a couple of days, but the guy, the car in front of me, the gunner had shrapnel in his chest. He had a fucking real wound, right? Like they pulled out a piece of metal from his shoulder. Dude gets a purple heart, right? Deservedly.

So now I didn't, cause I was like, I don't have an actual like wound. I, my brain was, I was up for like three days. I was non-mission. Sorry.

Uh, mental wounds. I know they're not. That's what I'm saying. I'm saying, I don't, I feel like I don't deserve a purple heart at all it left you a pro and you're like no i those people with mental wounds btsd tbis go yourself no purple i was like oh he took a turn like oh we all saw some shit but like somebody got like hurt hurt you know not like

i got like knocked down on my ass and had a headache for like Three days, but I was like your brain smacked the inside You're like, that's pretty big deal. Yeah. Well, you know, I can't do words so good The VA says it's not real but my mom says nothing out You're about to talk about the Canadian VA They give you rope. Lots of rope. No, they don't.

They do. No, they don't. Well, more of a recommendation. Oh, shit. I really forgot what I was talking about. VA Purple Heart. I think TBI should have a Purple Heart. I do.

I do think TBI should have a Purple Heart. This was a commercial. You literally are the perfect example why you should have a purple heart because you just ended your statement with i don't know where this is going i forgot what i'm like do that a lot i do that a lot like if it's not one-liners i'm screwed like i try to put like thoughts together and i go oh this is a good idea to bring in and as i'm out there reaching out i I sound like Joe Biden. I'm just like, you know what I'm saying? And people go like, oh, yeah, we want to be on your side because, like, you know, everything you said, like, you make us sad now.

We respected you, but now you make us sad. But, yeah, so TBI, I'm glad I didn't get a purple heart for that. But, like, I still have, like, an issue, obviously. And some people did after I got got you know blown up and like people were getting like oh yeah man i fell over during a mortar attack and i got a purple heart and i was like how the f**k do you just be like 50 yards away from something that blew up and then you fell over and you cut your wrist while you were making a sandwich with a plastic knife and you're like i got a purple heart now yeah like i was trying to but now i got a purple heart so

i don't know it's just one of those weird things Purple hearts are weird Watching how they were given away Or when we got back I'm glad yours and mine are the same size Oh man, was it a head wound? Makes a lot of sense Dude, my buddy Kataoka, God rest his soul

He didn't get Wow, that just went a different direction Somebody feels bad about a Purple Heart choke. It's this guy. Wow. The unit, like my unit, my battalion had like 42 or 48 Purple Hearts. We were in a very not fun area. Afghanistan or Iraq?

Iraq, Mokhtadiya. It was during the surge. It was like, it's like in hard shit. Throw the bodies at it. Mokhtadiya, Eastid i um baghdad and then we went to the diala river province okay so you were you were middle and east in the middle east yeah okay middle east i know i the second it came out of my mouth i was like oh this is uh you better try and save this but he didn't get a purple heart for getting and now he he made it

through this he got shot in the dome, but with the helmet on. Yeah. Rode the ridge around. I've told this before. Boom, rode around, boom. He got dropped. He was like... Oh, yeah, you'll get neck injuries from that.

Yeah, and he sat up. He's like, what the... No Purple Heart. I was like, man, that probably is one of those times where you're like, that probably did some damage or wreck. Yeah. Up in this general vicinity. He got shot. Like, in all the other wars. That's this general vicinity. Like, Bro got shot.

Like, in all the other wars. That's a purple heart. Oh, and he, yeah, because he has, they weren't wearing body armor. At that point in time, though, like, nobody, it blows me away how much they don't know about the human body. Like, you put inventions in respect to one another. Like, CPR is only, like, 27 years old. Yep. And has a 10% chance of working. another like cpr is only like 27 years old yep and like we figured we figured out how to we figured out how to split an atom of uranium in half to like make massive explosions and or nuclear

power but we didn't figure out the like if you push up and down on their chest it makes their heart pump the blood well if they weren't so lazy and their heart would do some work then maybe they wouldn't die pieces of shit thank god right don't? Don't be so lazy. Do some push-ups yourself. Yeah, and then I'm over here. Yeah. Do some push-ups. He's talking about push-ups, right? Make your heart do push-ups. Where's the drill sergeant hat? Where is it? It's upstairs.

You brought it? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I was on my asks. Oh, yeah. We always build... We kill really good. People look at you when you wear the hat, like even civilians. Like if I got to go like walk around, you know, and I'm in uniform, obviously wear the hat because I'm still a drill sergeant.

And people will go like if they're not ready for it, they're like, oh, kids, we're coming out of Burger King. Oh, oh, oh, wow. And they just stare at you like you're like a cancer patient. Like guys just go, oh. And you're like a cancer patient. They just, they, like guys just go, oh. And you're like, okay, how you doing? You know, and they just. I probably, if you walk down in the brown round right now,

I'd probably call it ease. I'd be like, why am I doing this? I've been out for so long. And I would leave you alone because to show the proper customs and courtesies where I would up these two. Oh, I'm sorry. Are you me as an E3 where you sat at parade rest for an NCO? I used to do that.

I used to do that. Did you used to do that? Oh, I used to do that. I never even thought about that. I was the king of- You sat at parade rest. Intentionally, intentionally. I would do that.

You're like, they start talking and you're like, why did would do that you're like they start talking i would have i'd have e6s and e7s walk into the room and we're all like e4s and blah i was like a pb3 you know pfc uh and i and they'd like walk through the doors and like an e6 like in your unit doesn't give a shit like it's just coming in to give a briefing about like this is what's going on and I would I'd be sitting here like I am now I'd be like Eddie and I just stare at him like that and the first time I did it it was I remember Staff Sergeant Trueland he's like he was going on a second tour he was in the initial push for like 18 months in Iraq yeah like craziness went on with our unit the first tour and then you know here I am for the second tour, bright eyed,

private. That's as smart ass as I am just about now. And here comes Staff Sergeant Truland walking to the doors to give us a briefing and I go, Eddie! He was a Marine beforehand and he just goes, are you sitting at ease for me? I'm trying to show you the proper respect. Staff Sergeant and he was so caught off guard and the room was just like, what the are you sitting at ease for me? I'm trying to show you the proper staff sergeant.

And he was so caught off guard. And the room was just like, what the just happened? It was one of those moments where everything just slid. It was good. He was just like, shut the fuck up. He just carried on. So that became a thing that I used to like doing to catch

like, yeah. It was great because like active duty component guys would we you know mix and mingle because I was reserves and yeah they'd come in you'd be at e5 or staff sergeant you know I'd be like Eddie and he'd be like what the oh reserve oh ca whatever idiots these idiots hey and then he would go because he was a dumb infantryman would go and be like he's moron on city parade rest for us while we're all laughing at him being like, look, he's so upset. So angry about it. You always forget how much because they never get with the higher enlisted.

Usually didn't get with by privates. When we had General Boozer, I've told that story. Yeah, he got up. I was like, holy shit. You're all this. And he was like, the private. And then he was just riding in the hell out. And we were just joking back and forth the entire time.

Every time he would see me, like I remember walking across, he walked out, he just walked out. I was like, Hey, sir, where the fuck's your headgear?

Cause he didn't have headgear. And he was like, Roger, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like,

he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like,

he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like,

he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like,

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he was like, he was like, what the fuck is this guy? Dude, you've either got a good general that's like, ah, fuck you got me, or you've got a dickhead general that's just like, do you know who I am? Which I had that one time. Those are the worst. I had a general, and he was in use of K-Pac, and he came up, and he was like, you guys are getting deployed? And during the second tour, I was an E5, I was an NCO,

and after every class irritated the shit out of me, after every class getting pre-open, pre-mode getting ready to deploy, people would say, are there any questions? You do any questions? You do any quiz? We just did a range where we shot targets. Like, what do you mean?

Do we have any questions? So I was like, I'm tired of this. I'm going to start asking questions. So I started, I started asking board questions. And for those of you that don't know what a board is, it's whenever you're about to be promoted in the next level, you would sit in front of your superiors like high up. What is the maximum effective range of an m4? It's 500 500 meters. It's it's like forever area for an area or a single man target single man target

Shit I think it's six no wine, 700 is the group target. I think it's 550 is the single. Area target is seven. So I know things that I should know. It's an area target. So I would ask questions like that, you know, in stupid shit. You know, like, you know, how many posts or how many, how many trucks are there in a military post?

And that's what I asked him. Like, sir, how many trucks are there in a military post and that's what I asked him like sir how many trucks there in a military post I said I was like, oh my god like it was supposed to hear a kid shit. I was like yes, and everybody was like Nobody nobody knew that it was like oh no yet. everybody was just like, oh, what? Nobody knew that it was like, oh, no, yet. It was just like, huh? Wait, what? And I go, how many trucks are there in a post? General.

Just like, general? Because you're a general, you say general. You can say sir, but it's also appropriate to call them general. And he was a brigadier general once. How many trucks are there in a military post? General. And he was just brigadier general one star how many trucks are there in a military post general and he was just like uh and i go there's only one sir we drive vehicles you know and that's that's true and the uh the the second first sergeant like we had a first sergeant but this guy was like the number two nco he's an e7 he He's an E7. He looks over at me like, what the fuck?

And then looks at the general and goes, Sergeant, hi, sir. He's just a weird guy. He's just a weird guy. It's a thing that he does. Let's get out of here. And every other, but every E6 and below looked at me and was like, you don't have the balls. If you don't do what you've been doing this entire pre-mode and asking stupid bullshit board questions.

I was like, I just picture this. You look over and they're like looking at you and you're like. I had a smirk. I was like. And there's one thing you learn in the Army. You don't half-ass it, right? There's no half-assing. You're either in or you're out. I was in.

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Do the thing. Do the automatic. This thing, like, opens up with the force of eight suns. It's like, bah! The force of eight. That's the only way to describe it also if you manage to break one of these wonderful knives uh they do offer free replacement parts you just go to their website and fill out a parts request whether it's springs or

screws whatever maybe they will fix it for you that's what i love about kershaw kershaw makes some good good blades you're looking for some good blades as batty was saying from uh really cheap uh like just a regular carry-on keep it in your pocket just a little little folding whatever to a toss away knife so go to kershaw.com use code unsub to save 20 percent and for every hundred dollars uh you get free shipping boom code unsub 20%. Kershaw.com. Be you. Be the best version of you. What in the Kershaw blades? I'm Wolverine. A lesson that we all can learn.

If you're not doing anything that's really breaking the rules, can you really get in trouble? Yes. 100%. You absolutely can. I'm very intrigued given how popular you are on social media and the fact that you're still in the military you were in the military Why you do it? How does your chain of command react to that because you are just like a Grenade with the pin out and they're holding the stone 24 7. That's a really good

Like I can't piss this guy off. I just gotta. I have my old battalion commander. There were some issues. The Hot Honey McCrispy is so back at McDonald's. With juicy 100% Canadian raised seasoned chicken, shredded lettuce, crispy jalapenos, and that completely craveable hot honey sauce. It's a sweet heat repeat you don't want to miss. Get your Hot Honey McCrispy today. Available for a limited time only at McDonald's. But my new battalion commander and Sergeant Major are absolutely outstanding.

I won't say your names. You're genuinely good people and they're taking care of me. They've only been in the unit for about a year, well, in command for about a year, year and a half. And they're really doing a good job. The positivity you do probably. No, well in command for about a year, year and a half. And they're really doing a good job. They see the positivity you do probably with, I mean, nobody gives a shit about that. No, no, no, no, no.

Oh brother, nevermind. I wish. So, the old battalion commander, and I think one of the current staff officers told me a story, which I think perfectly is a very good analogy, similar to yours. And that was other commanders would come in and talk to my previous battalion commander and say, wow, you got you got, you know, drill sergeant high. You know, wow, that's that's freaking great. Like, that's awesome.

What a motivator like that. He's in your unit and you get to see him. And there's all these things now that I am glad that he's freaking great. Like, that's awesome. What a motivator. Like, he's in your unit, and you get to see him, and there's all these things. I am glad that he's your problem. Everyone's like, wow, he's awesome. Well, not he's awesome, but, like, some of the stuff that he does is great and really positive for the Army, especially the Guard. But we are so glad we don't have to deal with the bullshit. I got one GOMAR, which is a general order memorandum of reprimand. When I say general, it doesn't mean like an all-encompassing.

I mean a two-star general gave me a smack on the dick. And I had a second GOMAR that was ready, you know, in the pipe. But then during the investigation of the GOMAR, they were like, okay, you kind of fucked up, but not enough for this. And that one was for, I got in trouble, but I didn't get in trouble was for when I, uh, stood up for the, uh, two, three, nine, uh, the field artillery, if I'm not mistaken, I forget, but it was the unit down in Fort Polk where a Sergeant major told the entire battalion, if you get a cold weather injury, I'm going to negatively counsel you.

Oh, what the. Yeah. Right. Yeah. So then army so also you're not allowed to wear your coats yeah that's exactly the type of shit that is literally the long story short like so yeah whatever you know you hear that all the time you don't think it's gonna happen but the sergeant major's like yo we're gonna do it and then they

get really shitty weather it's like pouring it's in the middle it's it was it was winter yeah so they get a bunch of cold weather injuries. He's in the medical tent screaming at NCOs and soldiers and medical personnel saying, get them out of here. They're malingerers. You're going to get an Article 15. I'm going to demote you, NCO. I had everybody message me once I put it out there. So what I got in trouble for was, as I said, the battalion commander's name name not the sergeant major's name who made threat but the battalion commander who was in charge of his name and so because i called out an officer by name i got in trouble not the nco which is i guess kind of cool i can call it ncos now okay so ncos it's like they don't give a shit and they're like who gives a shit about ncos

you've seen officer poor nowadays Nobody grew all the enlisted. So yeah. So yeah. No shit. My first GOMAR that I got was for. I love you have multiple. I mean, the only GOMAR that I actually received, right? The only GOMAR that I received.

Attempted GOMAR. Attempted GOMAR. Yeah. So that battalion commander and his wife like made a complaint. They were like, he's, he's a real jerk. He called me out by name. And they were like, well, everything that he said was true. And the Sergeant Major of the Army I actually talked to at the time,

Sergeant Major Grinston, I was like, yeah, I've got a lot of information that you might want, and I'm going to do a story on this. And he's like, which was a weird conversation with the Sergeant Major of the Army. Dude, isn't it so weird having those talks? I've been out, but Sergeant Major of the Army Troxel, like he was like, Eli, blah, blah, blah. And like having a one-on-one,'s like oh man love you like i'm like don't do this is the weirdest

god damn conversation yeah i was like oh i said man what's up he's like how's your wound doing i was like huh what wound yeah i was like oh oh yeah it's good dog you look like frankenstein but you better, you know, customs and courtesies. So I text Sergeant Major of the Army Grinston or DM him and he responds, you know, I'm like, Hey, I'm, you know, I'm staff Sergeant, you know, drill Sergeant Richard High with this unit. I've seen this.

I do. I also run this social media channel, angry cops. You know, I found this out. If you need any assistance from me, I have firsthand knowledge of these and firsthand accounts of what happened. And he goes, thank you very much, Sergeant high. I appreciate you coming to me, but we already have an open investigation on this. We're controlling it. And I, of course, I know who you are. And I said, I said, that's ominous Sergeant major. He goes, not ominous, just the truth. But the first time I got a GOMAR, the Major. He goes, not ominous, just the truth. You said it.

But the first time I got a GOMAR, the only time I got a GOMAR, but not my only GOMAR investigation, was New York Governor de Blasio, during COVID, made a statement that said the National Guard is not the Army, or is not the military. I remember this. I remember this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is a big deal. And I got f***ing mad.

Yeah. I got f***ing mad. Because as a reservist, as a full-time part-timer, it's all the military. I remember this. I remember this. Yeah. And I got a big deal and I got mad. Yeah. I got mad because as a reservist, you know, as a, all as a full-time part-timer, you know, it's all I've done is be a part-timer. Like that really,

really, really pissed me off, especially with a lot of the history that's in New York city specifically. And the reserve and guard units that are there. And so I went off on him and the unofficial can't confirm, but you know, confirmed story is, is that video made it to build a Blasio and he was upset and he said that to now disgraced governor Cuomo, that piece of shit, both of them. Wow. Two pieces of shit's floating in the same bowl. It's crazy. Right? So he sent it over to him and said, hey, isn't this your kid? And

he's like, well, I am the governor of New York, so yeah, I own his ass. And then created the GOMAR, and the GOMAR investigation went in. And the investigation was, and I have all the paperwork from it, that I was given. And then the investigation started with that video, but there was no fault found in the

video at all. Because I checked, I'm like, you're a fucking mayor. You're not in my chain of command. Like you're a mayor. You're not my chain of command. Go yourself. Right. You're not a state Senator or whatever. Yeah. But because they couldn't find any dirt in that video, the investigation opened up to all my videos and I made one inappropriate

joke about a female airman. And that got me like Omar, she was doing pushups and she did really bad pushups. And so when she was, that was what they got. She was doing push-ups, and she did really bad push-ups. And so when she was... That was what they got you on. They got you on, man. They got a drill sergeant on grilling somebody over push-ups.

Over bad push-ups. And I said... Oh, my God. She was doing the head bop. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was just like, those are bad push-ups. They go, but it looks like you're making Casper very happy. And so...

So they said, that's a sharp violation. That's a sexual harassment, you know, whatever. I didn't say it to her to her face. Don't fuck your buddy's acronym. Yeah, so anyway,

that's what they got me on. What'd they hit you with? Art 15? No, a company level GOMAR. No, a GOMAR is in itself a separate. It's its own thing. What's the punishment?

So you can have a company level GOMAR and you can have a larger GOMAR, which, you know, which stays with you for your entire career, like a, you know, like a bad, like an article 15, but it's bigger because it's a general investigation to you. Like I said, not all encompassing a general officer is looking into you. Oh shit. I've never heard of it. Sorry. This is the first time I've heard of GOMAR.

Yeah. So I have a company level GOMAR, which means that if I change my unit, then it's not an deal no shit i've never heard of these sorry this is the first time i've heard of gomars yeah so i have a company level gomar which means that if i change my unit then it's not an issue it goes away like a company level air uh article 15 yeah yeah uh but if it went higher it would be something that would follow me for my entire career and that would be you know like a pockmark on your on your career no No shit. Yeah. Military's so weird. It gets deeper. Like there's a lot of shit that I won't say on camera

of how if it went a different way, there would have been a legal fight. And I was backed up by some very influential people that have a lot of money. So I'm glad that it didn't become a political stunt from the governor at the time and that it stayed where it was. Company level. Yeah, because there was a lot of money so i'm glad that it didn't become a political stunt from the governor at the time and that it stayed where it was company level yeah because there was a lot of people that messaged me that found out about it and they were like if this goes anywhere other than what you're

getting we got your back where this there's going to be some some waves and i was and i felt really that made me feel good but then this is a crazy thing military will throw you on the military will throw you under the bus the fastest to prove a point. Unless they can't. Unless they can't. Then they're like. But they still can. I'm not going to lie.

That's the first time that I've actually talked about that. So hopefully some old heads are like, oh, shit, we dodged a bullet. Hopefully. Well, it's like, what's his name? Eddie Seal. Eddie Gall seal the seal gallagher like the shit he went through i remember reading that first report and my buddy said like oh this piece of shit or like they were like what do you think on this all these different things and i just read over i was like this doesn't make sense he's gonna win this and they're like what do you

mean i was like it's saying he's a sniper in charge of all these people it sounds like angry privates right now it was like angry privates are not's a sniper in charge of all these people. It sounds like angry privates right now. It was like angry privates are not liking the leadership. And they're like, why? I was like, this is a sniper that they were changing his optics without him knowing all the time. I was like, no sniper. If I pick up my gun and every time I shoot it, it's not zeroed. Red flag?

Red flag. I was like, so you're saying this is what they're going with. It's like, yeah, we used to change his zero just so he couldn't hurt people. And you're like, hmm. So you made your battle buddy combat ineffective. You literally are committing a crime. That's treason almost, right? I don't know.

Treason gets thrown around. It's not treason. You're just being a bad battle buddy. You're just being a piece of shit. I've been convicted of treason recently. Yeah, being a bad battle buddy. I'm being a piece of shit and convicted of treason Recently, yeah, that's ran. There was something that just did the trans officer is a white guy with blonde hair He was doing up the he was selling secrets the selling secrets of the Chinese Yeah, I've not heard about

She excuse me. She I know what I know what I wanted to ask you. Have you talked about the Air Force? Is it Air Force General? Maybe he's Admiral, right? Air Force. Yeah, General. Yeah. So the Air Force General sent out a mass email to all of his troops saying, be ready for World War III by 2025. Yes.

Wait, what? I have seen it. Wait, I heard the memo. Have you not seen this? No. An Air Force General sent out a mass email to everybody that was like, hey, get some life insurance and be ready for World War III by 2025. I didn't say life insurance.

Well, I want to hear your guys take on it before I take over the microphone for another 20 minutes. Take on what? So his take i read the memo his memo was like be prepared for war china you need to get your your troops airmen uh ready to shoot and you need to shoot have them shooting targets and you need to have them shooting for the head in for the head head shots that's what i want literally he's like i want him shooting in the head and prepare for war it's coming coming soon. And this is our enemy. It's the Chinese.

The average Air Force shot is kind of like... My first deployment was with an Air Force cat who was a dumbass. And literally during a training event with the blank firing adapters where we're shooting with the miles gear on, he fell over backwards and started holding his M16 up and just like firing like this,

like he was on the east side of Chicago. And I was like, you are everything that I thought the air force was. And you will definitely stay on post the entire time. And he did trash on his back, just like blindly firing on his back over the top of a mound with his M4 up like a fucking pistol. I'm right.

I would like to sit down with a four star air force general. I would like to ask that general why he thinks that. I want to know. I want to know what he knows. That guy watches a lot of. This was before the balloon, by the way. Yeah. January 27th.

Boom. It just doesn't make any sense. It doesn't make any sense? What social media does he watch? I think it makes perfect sense. I don't. So hold on. this is the way that i read it this is the way that i interpreted his letter he's saying i'm looking into the future china is 100 going to be an issue russia is preoccupied china has been a threat for a while it's stealing all of our information it's constantly spying on us

it is our closest thing to an enemy at the moment, especially with the amount of stiff shit that they steal. I won't go into that, but he's saying it's currently the closest thing to our enemy at the moment. They have a lot of numbers. You need to make your troops combat effective because I see shenanigans happening soon. And I looked at that. And everybody said. Headshots really general.

Blah blah blah. The dude is using words. To try and. Motivate. Motivate. His troops to be. And leaders. To make their troops combat effective.

I saw. Although weirded. Worded in a weird way. Very. Like you know. A total pogue way of saying. You know. Hey. We the headshots right we gotta get them double kills triple kills make sure you don't scope the bad guys all right guys we got a prestigious yeah it seems like it's a boomer way of saying you know prepare the troops for war i'm sorry february 1st this came out i have the actual

memorandum up now there you go but it's a very boomer way of saying you know ready the troops you know rattle the sabers. The next fight is what it was titled. The next fight. Tell me he's wrong. I picture this dude just, he was listening to Alex Jones. He got off Alex Jones' podcast. He was like.

Mom, mom, did you see my race? Of course I did, darling. Look, you did your best. You tried. The thing is, it's not about winning. It's about taking part. Next year you might do better. But I did win, Mom.

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you can say that. He's just typing it out. You can say that, but now we got it. We got an Asian spy baroon. You got an Asian spy baroon, right? You're like,

oh, aim for the head, huh? No, man. He's making a shoot at round things because he knew the balloon was coming. He's like, shoot the head because it's round, like balloons.

And then, boom. What do you know? Asian Bering in his game. I mean, I will say the timing's kind of fucking weird. Or dead on. Yeah. Yeah. Depending on which side of the balloon you're on here, like, the memorandum comes out and

now we're all like, Montana's like, hey, man. What the fuck is that? Which makes you wonder when they were like, we're told about the balloon. Cause you know, it's air force that does that. Like all that cybersecurity, you know, that they're,

they're aware of what's coming over. He's like, you know what? They don't think it's a threat. Get ready. Chinese balloon is a threat. And so he, I like it automatically.

Every time you're like the Chinese, the Chinese, the Chinese, but he's like, Oh, it's not a threat. It's not a threat. I see it coming. It's over the Aleutian islands. We talked about the Aleutian islands in Alaska. It's coming over the Aleutian islands.

It's coming into America. That's a threat. And then everybody goes, nah, it's not that big of a deal. He goes that Baroon threat, threat level midnight, Baroon memo out. I mean, it's a crazy thing. I just picture it. Now imagine this. We rewind time and then it's a Chinese private.

Yeah, I almost said rewind time. And it's a Chinese private. It's just like, uh-oh, lost control. The wind took it very far. It just floated to America. He's like, oh no, this is going to be very bad for us. I got all this technology. And it's just a private that fucked up It just floated to America. He's like, oh no, this is going to be very bad for us. I got all this technology.

And it's just a private that fucked up. Because 100% of possibility of what could happen. He's like, oh no, the upper command is going to be very angry. And the second that the Chinese government goes, oh no, we rest control of the baroon. It's just a reverberant. It's for the reverberant. The second they were like, oh yeah, Chinese government, we always obey. It's a reverberant. I'm like, the fuck it is. The second they were like, oh, yeah, Chinese government. We always obey. It's a reverberant.

I'm like, the fuck it is. The second that they say what it is, it's the opposite. So then you're like, all right, Berun is our enemy. And then, oh, no, we lost power. Berun gone. No, no, no. Second Berun in Latin America. True.

Oh, no. Second Berun loses power. Nobody talks about that one. Yeah, nobody talks about number two Berun. Right. And they had explosives. We found that out. Yeah, in the Berun., Baroon. Right? And they had explosives. We found that out. Yeah, in the Baroon.

Yeah. Baroon had self-destruct Baroon. I don't know a lot of rubber Baroons who got self-destruct buttons. Right? How many rubber Baroons you got self-destruct buttons? Hey, hey, hey.

What if I really quickly don't want to know the weather? Yeah. Oh, shit. Oh, no. Right. Bad news. A groundhog not happy.

Jesus. The second balloon was the one that was going through Mexico or Latin America? It was going pretty much straight for Panama. Which was the whole how to attack America. Yeah, how to attack America. The Japanese plan, Aleutian Island campaign. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They had two routes

to attack America's mainland and the balloons followed that exactly to a T. Dude, that's the crazy part. And they were rigged to self-explode. You're like, okay, maybe. Yeah.

Which they didn't self-explode. Wonder why that was. Gee, I wonder. Maybe they got America's spy planes. I love you do Japanese accents for Chinese. Wonder why that was Uses voice to stand up for my brother in the Philippines Matt Matt and Trey, when he's doing that, you've seen the clip. I'm sure all of you for South Park when he's going from Japanese to Chinese. Oh my God.

Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God.

Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh, really? Yes. He goes, it's old school South Park. Yeah. That's recent. That's recent. That's like 2018.

Really? I thought those were like 2010. This is a new one. Sensitive fucking. Yeah, I sound like a boomer. Yeah. South Park still goes pretty fucking hard. I love South Park.

It should go hard. It should go hard. Hard. I love their transgender episode where it's uh macho man randy savage like what was his name he's like i am a lady and i came here to be the strongest woman of them all oh yeah i forgot about that episode yeah i transitioned several weeks ago and i don't think that my physical composition should prevent me from competing with these women because i'm the best woman ever.

Oh, that was the song, best woman ever. Didn't you have a theme song for that? Something. I know there's a... Batty is physically uncomfortable. It's fine. I love when Batty's like, when I see his hands crossed like this

and he's just sitting there not speaking, he's just shaking his head. No, I've not heard any of this. I've been with South Park for years. It's a great episode. Like this Episode oh, it's oh don't they box they do like CrossFit and then CrossFit I don't know if they box in one of them and he like I drank all the alcohol. Oh, okay. One of his hearts just went down. Where's your cup at? There you go.

Oh, don't. Oh, God. Oh, as a drill sergeant. How do you feel about cell phones at basic? I like that question. So here's the deal. Everybody gets upset because the world is now seeing privates do stupid shit. Right. They've been doing some shit forever.

Forever. And you're like, oh, now they're recording it. Now we're showing it. So instead of it being within the unit and then taking control of it before it goes out and makes everybody look stupid. They're like, that was the old days. Right. Now it goes out and it makes everybody look stupid, they're like, that was the old days, right? Now it goes out and makes everybody look stupid. But I look at it because I'm a glass half full kind of guy. And it allows me, along with the world,

the world gets to play drill sergeant and shit on these stupid boots. Plus, now as a command, you get to see issues that you might have either glanced over or not taken seriously or never even had come up to your level because now it's on social media. Case in point. The first time I got in trouble. Time number one. Time number one.

I was in basic training and I made a video of me stabbing privates with a tent spike because they didn't have, they weren't close enough to a battle buddy. Yeah. So my battle buddy. I remember. Yeah, my battle buddy. You're dead. Yeah. Yeah.

My battle buddy. A pot, whatever, a column. And I'm like, if you want to record me stabbing privates, it'd be cool. You know, I'll just keep it for myself because I just want to show my friends and family at home. Yeah. What I do as a drill sergeant. Because everybody hears stories.

We don't get to see it. And that's like one of the few times where you get to see like behind the curtain. I think it was like the first time you got to see behind the curtain of basic training without like a news team there and everybody being like tight assed and shit. So I'm there and I'm stabbing privates with a tent spike,

stabbing their rucksacks, not them physically. And I'm like, lay down and die, lay down and die. You don't have a battle buddy, lay down. You know, and they're like, so they lay down and die. Right. And that video goes, it went, I don't want to say viral, but it was doing, it did really well. Yeah.

And the battalion commander and Sergeant major, uh, start getting messages from like command, like, like command, like, like command, like post Sergeant major, you know, the one star general Sergeant major is like, who the is this? It's in Charlie company,

such and such unit. This is you Sergeant major, that Sergeant major, you know, saw those shenanigans and then called my Sergeant major. And it was like, I want his hat, take his hat. My Sergeant major looked at me and said, but you really didn't do anything wrong.

They've got a Facebook page and they show all their stuff, you know, and you did that too. So I'm going to negatively counsel you. And then I'm going to tell them that you're not going to go back to that basic training line anymore. And I'm not going to take your hat away high and that'll make them happy. And I was like, it's bullshit. You can't tell me that I didn't do anything wrong.

And then give me a counseling statement. Tell that Sergeant Major, who doesn't mean dick to us, to fuck off. You're a Sergeant Major, he's a Sergeant Major. Tell him to go fuck himself, politely. And he was like, no, no. Okay, well, calm down. I was like, all right.

Oh no, my first sergeant was on my side too. My first sergeant was furious. He was like, he didn't do anything wrong. Don't do this, it's bullshit. Oh, he was hot. My first sergeant was on my side too. My first sergeant was furious. He was like, he didn't do anything wrong. So do this. It's bullshit. Oh, he was hot. My first sergeant was hot. I love him. I still love him. First sergeant, Tony Kuhn. You're the shit. Sergeant Major now.

He stuck up for me. Yeah. Tony Kuhn. Tony Kuhn. I was about to do an Asian accent for that. So that happens. And the end of the story is I went right back to that battalion the next year instead of not going to that post. I was kicked off the post by my Sergeant Major in words. But I went right back because we thought he'd be gone.

And that battalion commander and Sergeant Major came up to meet all the drill sergeants that were coming in to assist I know their battalion and they shake their hands It's oh I was that was there I was like, all right There they are they want to meet us. Oh shit. I hope he doesn't remember me. Yeah, hi He's hands he gets to me he's like Yeah. Drill Sergeant High? There's a lot of those. Yeah, dick eye over here. He comes over, he shakes everybody's hands, and he gets to me, he's like, Drill Sergeant High, were you here last year?

Yes, I was, Sergeant Major. I was bi back then. Okay. And then I'm like, oh, shit. He fucking recognized me. I'm not stupid. So we leave the building. You get your car and you drive home immediately.

Oh, no. We didn't get like 100 meters out of the building. We were still in the parking lot. And the LNO, the liaison NCO, comes up. And he's like, oh, Drill Sergeant, hi. Drill Sergeant, hi. I was like, I think I know what's going on. And he goes up.

He's like, you can't go with this battalion. I was like, what? Oh, and he's just straight right then. Oh, right then. He's like, you can't go support this battalion. You've got to go across the driveway to the other battalion. And I was like, oh. And my one of my senior NCOs was there

and Drill Sergeant Sollinger. And he goes, excuse me, why does the, why does Sergeant... Your hand motions. Guys, you cannot see his hand motions right now. They are so sharp and poignant. Like it is very...

The angle is precise. You can hear the slapping of the table, but they are accurate. There's privates active in privates right now watching. You better be sitting to parade rest in privates. Yeah. So he's like, why,

why, he's like, why, why is, uh, drill Sergeant high going across the street to the other battalion. And the liaison NCO was like, Oh,

the battalion Sergeant major says that he doesn't want drill Sergeant high in this battalion. And drill Sergeant Zollinger in E7. And he's like, okay, he doesn't want him here. But what, what did he say that would lead you to believe that

he doesn't want General Sergeant High here? And the LNO goes, but he said, I do not want General Sergeant High in my territory. This is very specific. And as a baller move, and this is why I love the Guard and the Reserves, is we can do this, and Sergeant First Class,

General Sergeant Zollinger did it. He goes, cool. Well, you can tell Sergeant Major Boozer that if he doesn't want Drill Sergeant High, he doesn't want any of us. We're going to across the street. And the L&L was like, oh. Because now he's going to. We went across the street and the battalion Sergeant Major was like, what are you guys doing here? We didn't expect any reserve drill sergeants. We're like, yep, we're here to help.

He's like, oh, yeah, I could use you. We're like, where do you want to go? You want red phase, white phase, blue phase? Engineer school is going on still because we did engineer OSIT. And like one lazy guy was like, I'll do OSIT. And me and the guys were like, we're going to red phase day one. Let's go. Oh, no.

That's all. That's it. I'm a red phase, white phase drill sergeant. I've only done red phase and white phase in the thing. But that whole story is to say you can show commands that there's an issue, even if it is a really super cool young drill sergeant that's trying to do the right thing. What do you do if a recruit recognizes you and has the balls to bring it up? That's happened a couple of times. The first time it happened, it was mail call and I was throwing out their letters.

I don't hand it to them because that's stupid. You throw it at them. It's cordial. Mail call is low-key because they're picking up mail and I'm trying not to be a dick. How can you be a dick when you're giving out mail? You did not mean my intro sessions. Well, I mean, yeah.

You can be. I like to teach, but I'm also a bastard. Like, I'm bored. Oh, yeah. I love teaching them and, like, seeing their eyes glitter. And I'm like, I'm fucking, yeah, we're doing it. I'm making you smart. And then at the same time, I see the dumb in their eyes.

And I go, I'm going to kill you. Mentally, you will grow. Emotionally, you will be hurt. Oh be hurt oh yeah i broke it i made a statement one time i was like i'm not gonna stop smoking the shit out of you for the next 10 days until five of you quit and i got my five because i was like because they pissed me off well that's it's like our drill sergeants i look back i look i look back at my class uh charlie 219 and how lucky the drill sergeant yeah the drill sergeants were at that point. Imagine this.

You go into basic as your class, and your class has out of the 42, how many do you usually get in a cycle? So a company is around 170 to 210 people. And then a company, and then you have uh usually three sometimes four platoons yeah platoons and if it's three normally it's three uh you'll have like 70 cats in each at the most maybe 80 if it's a really heavy cycle so we had four platoons it's like a period sometimes you get a heavy cycle makes a lot of blood but we had four platoons and we had 18 specialists. We had 18 college eds.

And my drill sergeants were like, we ended our entire whatever it was, 14 months, 16 months. They were like, hey, you guys are pretty fucking squared away. We had the most shit. We didn't have, I didn't understand what the kill zone was. I didn't know what a kill zone was. Did you through in the winter i was just january 5th i was just gonna push that i was uh december 27th or 29th yeah if yeah so jan 5th to basic training in well yeah i'll finish i'll tell your story and then i'll finish the one i got recognized. So basic training is different in the spring and summer compared to late

autumn winter, because during the early spring and summer, we call it the push. It's the annual push. I'm a push. What are you going to call it? Push all the kids graduate high school. Right.

And it's also the break in between semesters for like summer semesters. Right. So you get a shit ton of people that are inexperienced, have no life skills they are young they haven't been on their own some of them don't know how to fucking shower do laundry anything right like any any hygiene how many people don't know how to work a laundry machine oh you got a basic training and they're like my mom always did it i don't so on the flip side you get into the winter months and you get all these cats that are

usually older. Most of them are usually a lot older. 40 year old guys. 40 year old. I'm sorry. 35. Yeah. I'm putting through a specialist right now in the unit, the recruiting unit that I work

with. And he's like 35, 37. He's a teacher. And he's like, I want to join the guard and just do something else. I'm like, fuck. Yeah. And I call him old man. Like, come here, old man.

Yeah. But I'm nice to him. We have one of those. We call him Gray Bush. I'm like, come here old man. Yeah. But I'm nice to him. We had one of those, we called him gray Bush, the wise. Yeah. So three, they're less private.

Gray Bush, the one that's gained almost like walking in with a fucking mosquito. Yeah. I trust him. They smoke the shit out of him one day and he comes back and he's, he's, he's white beard. Yeah.

Specialist. Great beard to wise. I remember that name. I thought you were on profile. I thought you were on profile. I thought you were on profile. He has his sketchers. So in the winter months, you get

guys with life experience that have college degrees, you know, that are like, Hey, it's not a space in between semesters. It's a life choice. I'm making a decision to move on and do this thing in addition to, or to start my new life. And so that's, that's what you get now to talk about, to go back to the story where I was recognized at mail call was the first time is I'm handing out mail. I'm throwing it at them to them. I'm

shit. I don't want to get in trouble. The army will still get you. So I'm giving them their mail appropriately as is defined by the army statutes. Thank you army. You're welcome. 670-1 and big Sarge over here. That's everything. Just say that for everything.

Yeah. Air 670-1. For Air 670-1, I was handing out mail. And I'm giving out mail. And so at the end of the day after mail, it's question time. Like, do you have questions about basic training? Because the second they'd be like, what's combat like? I'd be like, you haven't fucking gotten through week three yet.

Do push-ups. Shut up. That's a stupid question. Your phone is stupid. And you need to get the rest of the stupid out for the day. So do some fucking push-ups. Shut up. That's a stupid question. Your phone is stupid, and you need to get the rest of the stupid out for the day. So do some fucking push-ups. Stupid out for the day. Yeah, he didn't use his stupid.

Do burpees. His stupid allowance was like way high. He got way more stupid than he should have. Up, down, back, oh. From back to those. Oh, God, I hate those. Mine were, my favorite is the squat better by the numbers, and then I do it with them because my legs are like tree trunks. Not tree trunks, but they're sturdy. You some solid sturdy gasp. Yeah, it's dirty

Yeah, so I would do you know by the numbers squat benders So it's one and you just sit in a squat position and I would talk to them about how bad they did and they'd be like I'm here all. You know? You're that asshole drill sergeant that can do it. And you're like, I'm here all day, pussies. One of my drill sergeants said that you could do flutter kicks at the end of time. Oh, yeah. I told the drill sergeant that's my thing.

He was like, flutter kicks, Cuevas. And I was like, you can't smoke a rock, drill sergeant. He was like, you haven't heard of crack. And I was doing them. And he was like, oh, oh man this dude's really good Yeah, yeah, you just kept doing floater gigs, but I was one of the shot expert everything so he he gave me a like Yeah, your quiz is you're pretty squared away I remember the first time he fucked with me cuz it was like you shot for at qual and I was like I was right

Was that are you, it was lane one, lane two, lane three. I was lane four. And he was like lane two. And they were like, he was like lane two, Roger, he's like 32, lane three, 28. And then he's like lane four. I was like, it's me. I was like, he's like four. And I was like, what?

I said, what? And he's like, What I said what you Can you not hear me death I was like I was like for Word knock those down And then he was like, he's like 39. I was like, and then the other drill sergeant was like, Hey, you can fucking shoot. Go get,

go get cake today. I was like, and that is guys. If you don't know that when you get extra food, Oh bro, I got, I got Burger King cause I shot extra for my platoon drill sergeant. My platoon drill sergeant was our senior drill sergeant.

And he was like, if you make my platoon look good and you shoot expert, I'll get you bird king. And I was the only one who shot expert besides like two or three other people. And I was crushed it. You ruined a CCO. That's a fucking story in itself. I had a fucking fever.

I threw up and I almost got smoked because I threw up outside of formation. You were just the worst day of your life and you still fucking come down. You were just at work and you're still fucking coming down. At the end of the day, they're like, you were sick earlier. You've got to come back and see us at the end of the day when we're all done shooting. I was like, okay, drill's all done. Then I came back

and they were like, all right, let's get your temperature. 103! Oh, shit! And then I... You're eating that burger like... You're skipping a moment. That was miserable. The best day is when the first day at the first meal when you really don't get to eat where it's like 15 seconds Like you get one bite of food and I get the fuck up and get the fuck out and then you go outside and all The fat kids start crying. Sorry, the gravitationally advantaged start crying. And then they quit.

And then they get to be the water boy for the rest of the day. I got let go of companies serving the fucking food and shit. Dude, I was lucky because they were like, Quavis, I sit down. And it's like, because the last person is like, last man. And it's like fucking Zuckery. And he's like, last man.

He sits down like, done. He's like, and food's over. And you're like he doesn't get to touch his because we get to eat the entire fucking time while he is going you're like oh that poor dude he's not gonna fucking betting yakisoba mail call i get it ptsd i don't have a. Gently handing the private's mail. Continue. So I'm correctly handing the private's mail.

And one of them. And we're doing question time. And they're like, drill sergeant, are you the drill sergeant from the videos? And I got my hat on, obviously. I never take it off. And I just go. I imagine full anime stare where, like, just the eyes. Yeah. I just go oh Anime stare where it like just Dropped my head so they couldn't see my face cuz like a smirk came over and I was like you didn't want to give him

That I was like fuck I was like what what are you talking about private? What videos they're like true sorry are you on are you on the internet making funny videos? I like what do you what video private there's tons of videos on the internet that are funny. Are you stabbing privates? You know the one, everyone's like, is he going to stab us? This is like when I was coming up. People didn't know who I was. Only a couple people

knew and I was growing the channel and shit like that and doing my thing. I was like, yes, Brian, that's me. You could see a couple people like they got smiles on their faces like oh I fucking knew it a couple people were like looking at him like oh this is the one you're talking about and then the majority like 80 90 percent of the platoon were like what the do you mean right so next year I go down on the trail and i'm uh i try to i try to do the most that i can because i'm only there for like a couple weeks right so i try to be as hard charging as i can to take the the active guys and let them do their own thing and relax a little bit so i'm

walking in front you know leading the uh i think it was like the eight kilometer ruck march this is the second ruck march that you're doing. Yeah. And you know, I'm, I'm leading it, you know, and I've got my PC on, I think I had a PC on, I might have my drill sergeant head on. It depends on which company you're with.

Some guys do different shit. Right. And so I'm, I'm walking and I'm leading, I'm setting the pace. Uh, and one of the PGs guide on bears, whatever for the platoons that I'm with is like,

you know, we're like halfway through. So I have a question. Can I ask you a question? I'm like, yes, right. What we're like halfway through. I have a question. Can I ask you a question? I'm like, yes, Brian, what's your question? And it's the same thing. I'm like, from the videos.

And I'm in the front, you know, and it's the same thing. I just go, and same answer. I'm like, what do you mean? What video? What are you talking about? Are you angry cops? I'm like, what do you mean private? What video? What are you talking about? Are you angry cops? Are you angry cops? And it's like

the second or third to last day that I'm about to leave. I've trashed these kids and done my job correctly, but I've been a bastard. I've been a bastard. And so I'm like, yes, private, I am angry cops. I am the guy, the drill sergeant that does shit on the videos.

Like, how long have you known that I'm that guy? Oh, is this the first day you showed up, drill sergeant? And I'm like, okay, okay, you knew right away. I go, how many other people know, private? The entire company, drill sergeant. And I go, the entire company knows that I'm that guy? Private? And he's like, yes, drill sergeant. I go, how long has Dane known that guy He's like you're so short. Thank you. How long they know so it showed up for

Like the shittiest version of undercover boss We knew you're a Kylo around the whole time I'm like I'm like, I'm like, do you, you're the only one that came up to me and asked me that private? He's just real sorry. Like, are you the only one that came up to me? I go, why is, uh, why is nobody else asking me that question? Like, cause I'm now I'm trying to like needle him.

I'm like, I'm trying to like, why is this? No, no, I'm not fucking with him. I'm trying to get as much information out of him without saying he's afraid. Tell me why. Right. Like he's opening up to me. This is an, I can take this as an advantage and figure out what's going on. Like feel the company's emotions, fingers on the pulse.

Right. I go, probably go. Why, why are you the first one to come up to me and ask me that? Everybody else is afraid of you. I'm so sorry. And I was just like, I was like, as they should be private as they should be. And, uh, and then that was it. So I was like, that's one of those moments where I was like, I should be private as they should be and and then that was it So I was like that's one of those moments where I was like I got a little bit of honesty where I could be like how

Am I doing my job like am I doing it? Okay? Well, they're all afraid you drew. Sorry. I was like fuck. Yeah, they are Private you forget how afraid I remember just aren't butters was the guy but i remember on the last day or one of the last field exercises he was all done up in his camo and he's like hey like a fucking private you you're actually a pretty squared away platoon like good job and i remember mckenzie he was like yours aren't like yeah yeah private he's like, yeah, private. He's like, you love us. And he actually got a laugh out of Butters. He never laughed. This dude's like, dude, push it. I got broken for the first time. And I was like.

I got drill sergeant to crack one time, a couple of times. But my favorite time is drill sergeant Hennessy, who was super motivating me. Still to this day. Drill sergeant Hennessy, love you. I was in basic training. And he was gone. He was in basic training and he was gone. He was doing an NCO development school, but he was gone from our basic training class for a couple,

three, four weeks. He came back and because he was so good at teaching us, he was the teacher. He was really good at teaching. Smoked the shit out of you a little bit. You respected him, but he was an amazing teacher. When he came back, nobody taught like him.

And how do you show your appreciation for somebody when you're a kid? Real soon, we're really glad you're back, real soon. Shut the fuck up, Brian. And so he was pissed because now all of his buddies grill him. Because now I'm a drill sergeant. I know exactly what they said. They're like, oh, you're fucking hugging privates? You're a private hugger?

You're fucking puss? You're going to fuck one of them next? Just like ribbing them? Oh, yeah. It's the opposite side. Yeah. So he's over the intercom, and he goes, bing. Sunday, everybody's at religious services.

I got back from mine, and bing. Privates, if one of you comes up to me and tells me that I'm your favorite drill sergeant or that you're glad that I'm back, I'm going to smoke the shit out of you. Bing! You know, like leaves it off. Or I don't even know if there was a second bing because I don't know how I remember things. And I swear to God, I said it just like this.

I'm alone in my bay with like four other cats. Everybody's gone doing shit. And I'm like, drill sergeant Hennessy, you're my favorite drill sergeant Hennessy, you're my favorite drill sergeant. And no shit, he goes, hi, drop. I literally, that was my face, I went. God, God is here. I was like, I got the push-up position and i'm like you know quietly

whispering in front of me i know the intercom was both ways both ways and he comes walking up and i and he goes boom kicks open the door and they're like hey don't you move high and i'm like i'm like oh oh you know it's like oh my god is this the the consequence of my actions oh god oh god i've never had this much like i never have that much responsibility on my shoulders like i was in the push-up position but it felt like the world was on my back you were atlas i've never been i've never been called on the spot like this before all right oh shit oh shit oh shit then he walks up all chill and slow. We're in BDUs. He's got his boots are fucking jungle boots with the green on them.

Oh yeah. Yeah. And the toes are shined and he's got a mug and it says, join the army, meet interesting people and kill them. This is early 2000s to a T. Yeah. And so like, he's still like, oh my God. This is early 2000s to a T. Yeah. And so, like, he's, you know, like, all my girlfriends are, holy fuck. This is early 2000s to a T. So, and I'm just like, fuck. Because, like, you don't fuck over the nice guy because the nice guy can be a bastard real quick. And I'm sitting there like, oh, God, I'm taking all this in.

My brain is in, like, panic mode. It's like, soak up all the information. Soak up all the information. What can you take it out of this? You can't take anything out of this. Don't try to get out of this. Just try to make it worse. Try to make it less worse. Less worse. Less worse. And he's like soak up all the information. Soak up all the information. What can you take it out of this? You can't see anything. Get out of this. Don't try to get out of this. Just try to make it worse. Try to make it less worse. Less worse. Less worse.

And she was like, you can stay there. So I'm your favorite drill sergeant, huh? I'm like, yes, drill sergeant. It's like, okay. Okay. All right. And I'm like, there's a long conversation. I'm not doing pushups yet. This isn't as bad as I think it is. And I'm like, there's a long conversation. I'm not doing pushups yet.

This isn't as bad as I think it is. And I smell the coffee. You can't have coffee. You can't have energy drinks. You can't have soda and basic training and good ones where they give you discipline. And I go, is that hazelnut coffee, Drill Sergeant? And he stops. And he goes, why? Do you like hazelnut coffee drill sergeant? And he stops and he goes, why do you like hazelnut coffee private?

And he like lowers himself down and I'm in, and I'm in the pushup position. And that's when I see the cup. Cause the cups like right in front of my face underneath my nose says that join the army, meet interesting people and kill them. And I'm like, one, that's a bad-ass baller move to like, just like put this good smelling shit in front of my face too that's a baller ass cup that you just don't buy to show off to me you had that because you're an artilleryman that was throwing fucking rounds down range and you like you met some interesting people and like decimated them from

a couple kilometers away and it's just like blows it you, you know, in my face. And I'm sitting there. I'm like, I don't drink coffee. It wasn't my jam. I was 17. And I might have been 18 at the time, but I was 17. And I'm like, I just noticed the smell because my dad used to have it. The Jewish guy, I'm like, integrity check.

No, it smells really good. My father used to drink it. And then he just, he had a conversation with me about, you know, shut the fuck up. And that was it. Just shut the fuck up. The second that that went,

I'm going to smoke the show. Yeah. My high drop. Is there? The fear in that fucking intercom transfer. How long has this been going on? Dude, it's like being caught in an ambush. Like you just, I didn't know where it was coming from.

I didn't know how he saw me, but he saw and heard and knew everything. And I was not in control at all. Fear. Fear. Moral of the story, fear. Are there any pranks that you consistently pull as a drill sergeant during the gas chamber event? Had one happening during my gas chamber experience and I want to know if it's a normal thing Listen to them after on the patreon head over to the after party

I'll be like somewhere below as always always, Eli, myself, Batty, and our two very special, amazing, so beautiful, so strong, so powerful guests, the Fat Electrician and Angry Cops. He almost forgot his name. I showed. The FatElectrician.com. Very forgettable.

Mr. Angry? Oh, yeah, just, you know, Google Angry Cops and you'll either find a really cool cop video of me, you know, arresting some asshole or sending some interesting, funny videos. What's that? Yeah, chest pumping a young man into space. We'll see you again.