Unsubscribe Podcast - Angry Cops Ruins Brandon's Political Career | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 236

Episode Date: October 26, 2025

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I'm Brandon Herrera, and I get to say everything that real Brandon Herrera can't say on the trail. Oh, I hate this bit already. There's two of them. You boxing with the Kung Fu handlebars would be so much more cool. My quick movement is it? I thoroughly expect to get shot if I get caught in somebody's f***ing house. Just like I almost shot Connor last night, and that would have been perfectly justified. Yes, that's what I'm talking about.

Oh, oh! racially ambiguous Brandon His hair is fucking fabulous And don't I A dark joke disposition And there's a fat electrician Welcome to unsubscribe

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You're going to save 10%. And with your guys' help, hopefully, these will be in gas stations soon, and that'll be easy for everybody. Yeah. F-stop. F-stop. Shutter. Three, two, one.

Yeah. Oh, Cody, kick you up. You all ready to get gay as fuck? Hi, everyone. Welcome to the unsubscribe podcast. I'm joined today by Eli Double Tap, Fat Electrician, J.D. Delay, Angry Comps, Brandon Herrera, myself, Don't On. Operator. Thank you so much for being here. This is a chaos podcast, apparently. That's 20% more words than you normally have to say. Oh, shit. And that's enough from you, Cody. Poncho Bucknows versus. I'll see my soul out. He just fades away after you do your intro fade back at the end.

Subtitles just say like mumbles and pearl jam. Hold on, hold on. You guys smell that? Do that. That's a lot of testosterone. at this table. Oh yeah. I like it. Dude, the taco meats out. Everyone is sponsored by Poncho.

Oh, yeah, we are. Well, I mean, the podcast says, I'm not sponsored by him. I just like their fucking shirts. Wait, is the podcast sponsored by Pancho?

Yes, yeah. I did this ironically. Oh. But now we can talk about ponchoa, no. Which hopefully you can insert

that ad here. I forgot. Oh, you have. I have a present. Oh, fuck me. This went so well last time. Do you remember the last time this fucking happened?

Adios Mios. Look at this guy. There we go. Look at this sex machine. Tony. Don't I? Brandon?

Who is it? Hi, everyone. Hi, everyone. I'm Brandon Herrera. And I get to say everything that real Brandon Herrera can't say on the trail. Oh,

you're like, oh, I hate this bit already. Oh, no. I'm not Brandon Herrera. You're like the key and pill, the Obama, like the one. Honda has to say the things for Brandon.

I'm not Brandon Herrera's anger interpreter. I'm just a man named not Brandon Herrera. With this camera set up, am I going to be in the frame with him when he does this? Yes. Fuck me. I'm definitely not getting a pardon now. Welcome to my fucking world.

I give you the best presents, real Brandon. This is what you're waiting for. Weeks. Weeks. I bought one poncho shirt and I was like, I know what I must do. but will I be strong enough? You bought the ponchos, grew the beard,

you're like, I know what I have to do. I hate it. So where's your red... The red glasses. Cody had him those really quick. It's uncanny. Now put those ones on. No, Rich.

Rich needs the gold glasses. Give me the gold ones. Because that is a Brandon look, the Tony Star glasses. You know of these ones? Sure. Thank you, Brandon. Thank you, Brandon.

the best body double what's your campaign tell me what you're running for no no you're not a body double yet let me see yeah you'll work you'll work out it's cold in here can we talk about who you're running against not brandon herrera

I'm not Brennan Herrera and I'm running against Tony Gonzalez a man who moans when he wipes I'm actually Brandon Herrera and I unironically had no idea this bit was going to happen that's right Brandon Herrera who's my best friend you're like a kid when they're playing hiccaboo like no object permanence

Cody's in the corner with an erection like technically this isn't cheating there's two of them you know twin dudes he's gonna go over he's like bye he's like no no stay and keep the outfit on Brandon come with me

now they're two of them the twin bothers thing on the internet hasn't been good lately ever since the island boys started making only fans shit together Thank you for reminding me that happens. You're very welcome. Editor zoom in on Cody's forehead and cut to the scene from Austin Powers. Twins.

Twins, Basel. Twins. There's so many cool buttholes here. That shit don't look good on paper. Okay, so as you do the fucking mic, shit, fuck you. I saw that. This is what real Brennan Herrera and not real Brennan Herrera do whenever we're nervous. It's a nice stim.

So we got two amazing gifts, like two fucking amazing, a lot of amazing gifts. But these two, this one was probably the best reaction. So yesterday we did the pepper box unboxing of the first time we did our PO box. And as soon as this one was opened up, we were like, holy shit. Someone sent us their grandpa's like war skull. Everyone was like, oh. Yeah, we went, oh, shit. Oh, my.

My God! Holy shit! You've got marks on the back for how many kills there! Look at your finger! Who's the skull? Jeremy. Jeremy? Jeremy?

Jeremy? Yeah. Jeremy sent us skull. Billy sent us a helmet. But we thought that was real for longer, long enough for me to start Googling the legal ramifications of keeping it. I'll put it that way. Like this paint job is...

Yeah, show the camera. Show the camera how detailed it is at like the base of the skull. Inoculum. Like it is... That looks real. That's why when they handed it is... When they handed it to me, I was like, should I be holding this right now? And it didn't help in the letter.

He started with, hey, my grandpa took this from Man King or something like this. You can see some of the layer lines if you look really closely now, but like on first glance, you would never, you know. Also, how excited we were to receive a human school. Most people would be like, oh my God. We started screaming, there's tally marks on it. There's tally marks on the back of it. And that was the moment I read. realized, man, I've got great friends.

This is the friend group I want to be a part of. As soon as we picked it up, we're like, should we like be recording this right now? It is not an actual skull. Yeah, it's 3D printed and it's really good. It's really good. If it was real and none of us or and we were never going to put footage of that on the internet, we would have had to like wrestle or draw straws for who was going to keep it. Well, I was talking to Eli after it and I'm like, Eli, we both seen courses before.

We're like, you were infantry. I did police things. I'm like, that, that looked fucking real, dude. The other part, because like, you guys had it first and we were just kind of handed it down the line. So I didn't get to feel it yet, but I was already looking at all the painting on it. And, like, all the painting is accurate. Like, he did some homework on it because it's like, the emblem on the forehead is the

second Marine division. That's the second Marine Raiders. And then the side, it says gung-ho, which is their sloth. which is their slogan because they were founded by Carlson Evans who like learned all his warfare stuff from guerrilla fighters in China and he's the one that popularized gung ho in the English language because it means work together I already find your historical segments to be very interesting they are much more interesting when you're holding a I know to be or not to be the paint job is historically accurate my favorite picture is the remember the the female sitting there looking at the skull that like heard her suit or sent her. You know what I'm talking about? Jamie, bring that picture up. She's just sitting there looking at it. That's a real

thing. They would boil fucking skulls, the trophy skulls. It's ended back to their spouses. It's a real thing in the Pacific. Back when chivalry was a thing. I guess not. I'm not. Yeah, I'm drawing to blue. No, I know it was a thing where you would like send your sweetheart the skull of another

guy that you killed as a war trophy. That's romantic. I would just gush. When did we know wrong? I'm just saying there's a direct correlation. between the rise of Jody and when we quit sending skulls home. Oh, that's real face, too. Does anybody know the legality of owning human remains in Texas?

Because I know it's illegal in Oregon. I was in jail with a dude who was in there for unlawful possession of human remains. So apparently, what was the story on that? Okay, so this dude was in there for three counts of unlawful possession of human remains. They found him with three different fingers. And they ended up only, they reduced it to just two charges

because two of the fingers matched when they got the DNA. back. The third one didn't match. So he got two felony charges for it. But he refused to tell them anything about it. Who they were. They didn't. It was. Well, that's the shady part. Yeah. Yeah. He would not tell them. And he was a, he was a, he was a. They're mine. Fuck off. He was a prolific meth cook and a meth dealer. So I'm assuming that it was a collection sort of thing. Their mind, fuck off is a wild statement to police about finding human body parts. Yeah. Yeah. And I don't know if you've heard of the Supreme Court case finders keepers and you know I always thought that the skull was real

when we first saw it because it was so small I figured it had to be Asian your your honor my client clearly does not fall under the provision of losers leapers and finders keepers would exonerate him of any wrongdoing of course I love you know my favorite Supreme court cases when you pull into your driveway obviously you're at home base, so you can't be arrested. You have to say Ali Ali Oxen free, though. Yeah. If you don't say those words specifically, then you can still be arrested.

Yeah, but I'm home. Why are you pulling me over? I made it. This is my safe space. Yeah. So can you do a whole high-speed chase and peel into your driveway? Absolutely. That's like Grand Theft Auto if you pull into the garage.

The Supreme Court cases. They just turned to NPCs. Yeah. Sick. I've committed a lot of murders, but because I keep wrapping my car different colors, nobody's caught me. That's a good tip. Not Brendan Herrera.

A vote for murder is a vote for Brandon Herrera. That, no. Jamie, cut that out. Now we can keep his pocket. I knew I would hate this bit immediately. Me too. That's why I fucking love it. I'm like, oh, Rich has a gift.

Oh. What's that? Beware Greeks bringing gifts. That's true. There's that. but um you do look quite Greek right now imitation is the highest form of flattery yeah doesn't feel like it I want to be you I'm gonna wear your skin I'm gonna put your makeup on if you don't let me do it I'm gonna wear a burglary drink I'm gonna buy your skin like a cold in Los Angeles or in the ring

in the ring in the ring I'm literally going to no in real life he like struggled to stay in character there too you're joking right cracking up no in real life or in the ring. No, in real life. You are the two scariest looking fucking people. What did we do? Yeah, what did I do? It looks like you both make meth and run

on illegal like 1% I look like I run, please. You ride in a 1% of motorcycle club. I mean, I'm not going to say I haven't called the house Pringis. But I haven't cooked meth in several years now. My favorite part is like sitting down at like we we you know we we we go out to her breakfast and we come do the podcast sitting down at breakfast like what the poor little waiters look at us and they're like what did these guys

do like we got you guys and then and then well we're both running for congress yeah like why are we here at 10 o'clock on a tuesday that we all pull up in different cars and brandon has a cyber truck and you've got your jacked up truck and everything so you pull up in all these nice vehicles and we look like complete degenerates and you're wearing your drug dealer glasses. And then we order hybiscous teas and they're like, oh,

this is clearly a grinder meter. That was also the funniest picture I took of you guys. J.D. I showed you that picture. No. I took a picture of you guys. Like, it's total hashtag girl moment.

You guys are influencing. Oh, I'm glad you got Zach in that. I feel like he felt bad he didn't get in the arm loop. It was the sweetest thing. I was just trying to have a good time with my constituents.

We had just gotten many petties together. Well, he can't vote. We're going to a poetry read. No, he's a Democrat. He can vote. I said, well, oh, there you go. That's fair. Hey.

Nick can't vote here. You just can't vote. I can vote. Really? Yeah, absolutely. Did that get restored? Yeah, so, like, it depends on where you live. It's funny how constitutional rights depend on where you live.

Wild. But in the state of Oregon, I have full voting rights. No shit. And the state of Florida, it's once you get off paper. It's a lot of people think. felons can't vote nationwide, but like most states have either a path to restoration or you automatically get restored once you get off of paper. Some, I think there's two states that let you vote while you're incarcerated. I know there were a couple states like Virginia was trying

to do it. It was kind of like as a plea to get more voters. It's like restoration of, you know, voting rights for felons and stuff like that. But at the time, it was like a political manipulation. So I knew that that was possibly a thing, but I thought most places didn't. I'm not for saying. but I will vote for whoever the fuck restores my gun rights right now. I got you, Gene. I'll vote for restoring felon gun rights. Vote for Brendan Herrera. Unironically, I do have a take about that that pisses a lot of people off.

Let's hear it. My whole thing was, because people, oh, would you want, you want felons to be able to own guns? Like, listen, first of all, I think there's a massive differentiation between nonviolent felon and violent felon. If you, you know, if you shot a guy while robbing a liquor store, this is a completely different conversation than tax fraud. Yeah. I feel like that's fairly reasonable. But on top of that, even when it comes to violent felons, if you've

if you are considered so much of a danger to society that they feel like you can never be trusted with a weapon for the rest of your life, why did we let you back into society? I feel the same way. My other question is what did she do that she deserved that violent felony?

Please take that wig off. Right? People need to ask these questions to give them their gun rights. What was she wearing? In the words of Detective High, what was she wearing? Obviously, not body armor. Good thing he's adhered to the fantasy. Oh, my God.

Damn, Nick. Here's the thing, though, is... Now, Brandon disappears. When I was an active criminal... Mr. Stark, I don't feel so good. All of your favorite NBA players are black. I mean, back. I mean, both were right.

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Minimum odds required. NBA lead pass auto renews until cancer. Additional terms at DKNG. com slash audio. Limited time offer. You can't win big if you don't bet big. Sun Tzu said that. When I was an active criminal,

I always packed a pistol. I had a pistol on me all that. I've got one of the charges to prove it. Most of my high speed chases, I've been in 11 high speed chases. Most of the time it was because like, I can't get caught with this gun and this amount of dope. So I'm just trying to get that out the window and have the cops not see me throw it out the window. If I can turn the corner, get rid of that shit, I don't care about going to jail for a stolen car in a high speed chase. I'm with that shit.

What a sentence. Now that I'm in recovery. I bet J.D. has the coolest parades ever. I haven't owned a gun since I've been in a car. Now that I'm law-abiding, like, when I was a criminal, too, I loved the idea of gun control. Law-abiding citizens can't have guns, because I'm still going to have it. I don't want an even playing field. You're literally proof from the other side.

Yeah, absolutely. And that's why I'm all about restoring gun rights for felons. A vote for Brandon Herrera gets me a pistol. I want more guns than this man's hand. Brandon Herrera. Brain is like Why? Why does Rich, why? You know, here I was naive enough to think

that my friends were going to help make this easier for me. Oh, you should see how hard we're going to fuck Tony. Yeah. If we're doing you this hard. That's where the support comes from, bro. You and Tony are in a cage fight, but you're locked in the ring with us. You should see the size of the strap on I bought for Tony. We're all going to have violent felonies and not able to own firearms after this.

They're like, damn. Damn. Is he working government officials now on the internet? A vote for making politicians scared is a vote for Brendan Herrera. We legitimately had a hat that said that. It was make politicians afraid again. Yeah, something happened. What happened?

So that was the crazy part because that in the context of why we made the hat in a shirt, that was something I genuinely believed in. But it was in a metaphorical sense of like make them afraid for their job. Or they lose their job. Yeah. That was the whole point. It's like make them afraid of, you know, for their positions so that they vote correctly.

Entire point in my first run. But did something happen that might have put a like a wrench in that? Yeah. It happened in July last year. The 4th of July? And we still know nothing about the shooter. Weird. That's really crazy.

You don't say. That kid, he was like, pull up his I and BD. He was in a Black Rock commercial. Yeah, I believe he was. He had a cool shirt too. I won't say his name because again, fuck these people. Yeah. Oh, the demo wrench shirt.

Yeah. Yeah. And he used to the demolition ranch. He's not an unsub shirt. I thought it was great. A brand of a Brandon Herrera shirt. Nothing came out against him. No, we know nothing about that guy.

We know he was in a black rock commercial. We know his name and he was in a black rock commercial. And he likes fish sticks. Huh. I didn't know any of that. That's wild. What? What?

Oh, God. Look at how male nurse that guy is. Oh, oh. I was a fish sticks. Right? I heard there was an incident with some chicken. Chicken tenders that happened yesterday on a cruise ship. Do what?

There was an incident on a cruise ship over chicken tenders. Speaking of delicious fried foods. There was a huge brawl that happened over a lack of chicken tenders. Understandable. Yeah. It is like that. Acts of violence for fried chicken is definitely a thing. All right.

You know, and I'm really upset with the Asian community in doing that fight. How dare they? It was definitely them. It would not be any other group. And, you know, and I hope that we can heal. From that. I love everyone. You are the active duty police officer and you're the one whose comments on social media

actually have a career implication. I'm just saying I love fried foods and I'm sure that the Asian people that did that are very sorry. Am I wrong? Was it some other group of people? Speaking of which, I am very excited that we might have the actual Roof Korean coming on the channel. Oh, that's cool.

It's going to be awesome. Yeah. Because we're talking about doing the DeWoo. the DeWu rifle that was used. Of course, like it's the famous picture, right, on the rooftop and the L.A.

riots from the actual roof Korean. And we invited him on the channel. You started talking with him. We invited him on and he's down. Wasn't he, didn't he post a video a couple months ago where he was like walking down the sidewalk and he had like one of those fairly large

yety, uh, like drinking vessels and it has like the little handle on the, on the screw in lid. And he had like three fingers through it and he was walking. And like some, protester went up and grabbed him and he just wham and clocked him with it and you saw like the Yeti

handle break off and it was dented Did he really? He posted the video. I thought it was him. I don't know if he was just reposting the video of somebody else but like when I first caught it at a glance I thought it was him that did it. Whoever did it was fucking baller as hell. They tried to take his echelon. You can dent a Yeti on a liberal skull. He did. If a protester comes up and assault

you, they're no longer protesting. They're assaulting a fucking bystander. Well, that's life. If someone assaults you, you can hit them back. That's, I, I, oh, you're a protester? Oh, in that case, do what you want all the time. Yeah. I got called a racist because I put out a shirt that says,

you loot, we shoot, which is a very famous Florida thing. Like, DeSantis will come out before natural disasters. Grady Judd comes out before natural disasters and says, hey, if this hurricane hits and you break into people's houses, they have the right to shoot you. This is a you loot, we shoot state. And so I put up a. alligator head

on this bitch. You guys tell me. People are like, play. The caption is mostly peaceful water bottle. Mostly peaceful water bottle. That looks like him. Oh, I think that's him. Boom. Ooh. He snapped two of them.

Turn the volume up. Piece of shit. Oh. Yeah. That sound. I want to play that thunk again. I'm pretty sure that sound is one of the drum sounds and a slip-knot song.

Piece of shit. Here it comes. We need to edit that into like Phil Collins I don't see it I can feel it hitting my skull tonight Well that goes into what we're talking about

We talk about sometimes Like there's so many young men out there Who have never been bonked in the face before By the time you turn 18 you need to have been punched in the face I think that it should be mandatory A vote for Brandon Herrera is a vote for getting punched in the man pleaser before you turn 18 gentlemen punching juveniles is pro brandon herrera have we not damn it richard have we considered if you just started sending out mailers

that you're going to abolish cycling in district 23 we i have a story about that they have the right to travel for one as a congressman you can't do that just like district to district so that's more like state like legislature where you do it in you know texas i know that's a very boring answer but we did talk to a state legislator at one point about making laws a little bit more lenient against cyclists for some very specific things because my god cyclists are the people that hit them with their cars oh those people yeah yeah the heroes of the story well because here's here's my problem how many times have you rounded a corner especially up in like the hill country and shit like that and there's a cluster of cyclists in the middle of the fucking road where

like, if you're going the speed limit on that road, it is very hard to slow down in time. Uh, as somebody that doesn't live here, if you've never been to Texas, it is dark as here at night. There is, like, if you get off the main highway, there is no streetlights and like, I'm from the Midwest, so all the roads are cement colored. And here, they're black. So it's, it is dark, dark out. If you're fucking cycling at dusk or night, like, it's not, by the time I see you, even if

I am paying attention. It might be too late. Or in the direction of the sun or something like that. It's scary. I would never do it. Right. Well, they put their little flashers sometimes. Like, they don't do it all the time. They put their little flashers on the back of their bikes. But yeah, when I'm coming around a curve, I have to slam on my brakes. And I'm like, holy shit, almost killed a man. Yeah.

And the speed limits here are crazy. We've talked about the speed limits here before. It's like, there's residential neighborhoods and shit where it's like 30 foot driveways and the speed limit is 55 miles an hour on a road that, this. West Texas is basically the auto bond on the highways. If you're going like the speed limit is like 80 miles an hour

and if you're going 80, you'll get nasty looks. 85. I think it's there's nothing. It's just empty fucking when we went out to drive. The left planes for crime. When we went out to drive tanks headed out there and Oklahoma are the only two places I've seen 85 mile an hour speed limit signs. Literally 85 miles an hour.

Which means 10 and then you have to do 10 over that just to be going the speed limit. Like what's the point even having a high speed chase with that type of a speed limit, bro. That's just called traffic. Yeah. That's crazy. Yeah, you, when you first came out and visited, you were going in 80 and a cop's like

wow. Yeah. I was like, oh, shit a cop's coming. Pass me. I'm going nine over, flew past me. Looked at me like I was a f***ian. Which is, it's kind of a fucking necessity though, because out there's like there's miles and miles between

even an exit. Like, it's just nothing. It is flat and empty. Desert. Yeah. That's why when I go and become your congressman, I'm going to allow people to go as fast as they want with at least one alcoholic beverage in their car. That's not true. Also, ban cyclists, Brandon. I'm also going to allow people to hit cyclists with the proper brush guards and taxes. That's how I'm going to keep this state tax free by taxing bumper guards for cyclists.

Reminder, Richard High is not on the ballot. Real Brendan Herrera supports this message. No, not real. Not real Brennan Herrera supports this message. I love Sheriff Chip. would in Florida, but have you guys seen how many times that dude has been hit on his bike? He's an avid cyclist. He's been hit three times. The last time a girl was just texting while driving and he, there was right here is the bike path. Then here's the road. And he's in the

road and she smashed him, bro. And then drove off. And yet he still hasn't learned. No, I think he still. I'm pretty sure he still do it. She's in prison for like for ever, bro. But yeah. That wig has to be getting hot. You see my new shirt. It's very itchy. Cyclists don't go to heaven. Yes. I forgot to put on the hairnet and is directly against my scalp. I'm pretty sure this is China mites all over it. You know,

the kind that would have been in that skull. Richard has asbestos poisoning. I heard Tony Gonsalas is an avid biker and he even shaves his legs so that he can go faster. This is true. We were talking about this this morning. I did a video recently about a dude named Gary Peacock. and I'm sorry, what was his last name? It's peacock.

Oh, okay. I was like that unfortunate guy. A vote for Tony Gonzalez is a vote for peacocks. This little teenager, like, gives him the right away, pulls around him, but he follows the teenager back to the skate, like the teenager was going to the skate park. He follows the teenager back to the skate park. And he like closes the teenager's door and like holds him in there. And he's like, you didn't give me the enough, enough room to pass.

You didn't give me a. enough room to pass. It's like, it was, it's a craziest shit. Like, he called the cops thinking it was, yeah, he calls 9-1-1, the peacock dude does. And he's like, you need to come here right now. He didn't give me enough room to pass. And it's wild, because the teenagers really chill about it. He's just like, yeah, yeah, like, what the fuck are you so mad about, man?

Cranky. He didn't do anything wrong. He called the old man cranky. Yeah, he was like, give me a cranky. It's such a slur for people over 60, like, oh, you're cranky. My favorite is this is why your kids don't come to Thanksgiving. Well, the old man, he was wearing the tights and he had this giant ass helmet on his $4,000 probably bike. They ticketed him.

The police did. Yeah, they ticketed him. Thank God. They're like, being a dick. If he held the door shut, he should be charged with kidnapping, in my opinion. We were just talking about that this morning. That's what we were talking about. It's like, it should be false imprisonment.

In District 23, you'll be allowed to abduct and hold people against their well as their riding bikes. No. Not real Brandon Herrera approves this message. Abduct more bicyclists. Did nobody pass fourth grade civics as to where you think a congressman's jurisdiction is? I've never driven a civic. A American maid for not real Brandon Herrera. Sure.

I'm always blown away by like the comment sections on videos like that. Because there was one the other day where there's like road rage and this dude like pulls up and cuts this dude off and slams on the brakes in the middle of the road and like forces him to stop his car and gets out and starts storming towards his truck. And this guy pulls a gun out, doesn't get out of the car, but sticks the gun out the window says, get the fuck back in your car right now. And the dude like and goes and gets back in his car and fucks off. And the whole comment section is like, wow, you think it's appropriate to just pull a gun on somebody because. Yes. Yes. Yes.

yeah what that's the best out what do you want to do get out and duke it out with the guy and one of them smacks their head on the concrete and fucking dies like it completely defuse the entire situation so i don't realize how fast you can die in like i get hit in the jaw i get knocked out my head slams against the concrete fucking dead i hit this person wrong and they just died that's happened multiple times that's a big thing that's been going on online for a while now too is if someone breaks into your house should you be able to shoot them yes yes yes Yes. Fuck yes.

If somebody's attempting to break into your house, you should be able to, open my door. Boo, pew, pew. People like to argue, too. They say, is my life worth more than your property? Like, yes, my property is worth more than your fucking life. That's not your property is worth. You asked that question to yourself before you broke into my house and you decided my shit was worth your life. Yes.

That's a you thing, not a me thing. On top of that, my property is worth more than the life of somebody that would endanger me and my family to take my property. I assume if you come in my house, You're trying to kill my wife and my dog. And I will make you dead for that. So this is like on Twitter right now. I was reading it this morning. There's a dude in Canada that's getting going through court right now,

getting charged with murder because he shot someone that broke into his house. And they're saying, well, he was just there to steal stuff. How would you know that? That's the basic thing for me. Like, how would I even make that risk? You need to determine what his intention. Like, I don't have time to psychoanalyze some dude that just woke me up by breaking the fucking window. Like, I'm assuming the worst.

Yeah. Like, fuck off. Well, you're talking about Canada and they, they had a press release to leave your key fob outside your house so that people can just take your car so they don't end up hurting you or you having to hurt them to. No. If I wake up in the middle of the night and you are in my fucking house, sorry, your life is now on the table. Just like I almost shot Connor last night. And that would have been perfectly justified. Absolutely. That's why in District 23, you're not to shoot anybody in your house, regardless of if they're there legally or not.

shooting people in your house should be everybody's right. No. Not real Brandon Herrera. God bless Merck. I live alone. Fuck. So on the plus side,

if you did accidentally shoot him, there's like a 0% chance you were getting a headshot. We have two people with law enforcement expertise here. It's because Carter's given the finger. In District 23,

we are only going to make seven and a quarter hats and larger. People with ton of your heads aren't real people. They can go back to Indiana wherever they came from in their busted Jeep,

Wranglers, or Ford focuses or Rangers. Also, District 23 will take over Canada when I'm elected. I will say that is literally polar opposite side of the country. With two people that have law enforcement expertise here.

Could not get farther away. Yes, but it will be District 23 and a half. And no voting rights for Canadians. I'm not real Brandon Herrera, and I support this Not real Brandon Herrera. Canada will henceforth be known as cold, cold Texas. Yes. We already named them the snow Mexicans.

The frostbacks. Yeah. We will drop off banjos and Garth Brooks just to wean them into our way of life. Feel it. Oh my God. It's the perfect jeans. Right? I can leave.

Brandon, feel it. Get on his shoulders. Up here, big boy. Try the perfect jeans out as earmuffs. Brandon. How perfect are they? Feels like the perfect jeans. They're so flexible.

I'm fat. I can actually do squats on them. Usually, it's an issue. I'm not kidding. I'm picturing you doing squats in the gym with these jeans. I could. They are like, Eli's just magging on the audience right now.

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It's lighter, softer, stretchier, and it's not a sex toy. Not with that attitude. I use that one. And again, that's free returns, free exchanges when you use code on sub 15 at checkout. That's 15% off at checkout for the perfect jeans. Connor loves perfect jeans. He does. They fit it. Really nice. Oh, pants.

JD, what were you saying? So, from a criminal's perspective, I want to know if you guys have ever heard this. I need you for a second, Rich. Sit that beautiful ass back down for one second. Sexual harassment will be allowed in District 23. No. Yes. Dark Brandon, sit back down.

I'm not black. From a criminal's experience, if somebody breaks in your house during the day, they're probably there to steal your shit. If somebody breaks in your house at night, they're probably there for you, not your shit. That makes sense. Most criminals, so most states,

it's an elevated charge if it's an occupied dwelling. Yes. So, like, a lot of criminals' worst fear is that they break into a house while they think nobody's home. And then all of a sudden, it's like this elevated felony where they can do 15 years instead of like three years

for breaking in trying to steal a flat screen TV or whatever dastardly shit they're doing and you know somebody's asleep in the house and they wake up and it's like oh fuck now it's a 15 year charge have you guys ever heard that that statement no no but it makes complete sense in New York State it doesn't matter if there's somebody that's in the residence or not you're still breaking into a dwelling the dwelling is what makes that a felony

not the individual did I read you incorrect did I hear that incorrect Well, is it a higher felony for if it's an occupied dwelling? No, but I will say this when it comes out over the air instead of, hey, there's a, there's a burglary in progress. Well, they'll say it's a burglary in progress, but they could also say it's a home invasion. Yeah, I was about if you're like in, I think in South Carolina where I police that, it's a, it's a higher thing because it's a home invasion of people are occupying the dwelling at the time. Yeah, it's considered like a violent crime if there's somebody there. Yeah. At least in Oregon, it becomes a measure 11.

So that's like a mandatory 70 to 90 months day for day, no good time, no earn time. Damn. I know Texas at night is when you have pretty much open rain to shoot them. In or out. It switches from daytime to nighttime. I think even in the front yard, right? I believe so. But I mean, honestly, you shoot them in the yard.

You're talking about a fucking yard at night in Texas. You can shoot them in every yard. The curtilage. If they're in your curtilage, that's what they call the front yard. What does bone density have to do with this? That's what I was thinking. That's what, so it is, that's the rule for Texas. I think in Texas, you can just shoot people.

That's a really good term. I like it here. I want to move here. Carteridge is like the adjacent thing connected to your house that's still like your property or whatever. It's like Castle Doctrine, expand that to it's within my moat. Oh, that's the worst part. There are some states in the United States where you have a duty to retreat out of your

residence. It's fucking crazy. You have to run out of your house. If there's an option for you to get out of your house, so you have to do that. Even if it's a window in some instances. You're supposed to attempt to, because New York State is one of those duty-to-rette states.

So you're supposed to attempt if you can. I'm not. I've got, hey, you broke in my house. There's all my shit. There's weapons in the home. Regardless or not, if they're locked up. And there's also, you know, my property like my wife. So I will shoot you.

What's fucking crazy, though, is if you have, let's say you have two kids in the house or something on the opposite side. and you have Homeboy breaks in in the middle, master bedroom, kids' bedrooms. Can you shoot the kids? Are you supposed to retreat? God damn it. In District 23, you're absolutely allowed to shoot felons when they are in between you and your loved ones. So yeah, that would be- Yeah, actually, yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. That's the person you said so far. I'm like, all right. Way to go, Dark Brandon. Put that in all the Venn diagram. Brandon and Dark Brandon, get along.

As the only felon at the table, I thoroughly expect to get shot if I get caught in somebody's house. God, please come over. I don't think it works if you invite the felon. Not in District 23. Oh, man, I just want another state side kill. Another one? All right, influencer. Have you killed anyone stateside?

He's influenced him. That you can talk about on the internet? I already did. Oh, okay. Officer involved shooting? No, now I decided to check out. Oh, nice. Excellent.

Yeah, he did the self-scan. I love it. If you run on this, I'm moving a fuck, I'm buying a house here so that I can fucking vote for you. If we could get disposal boxes. Do you know how many Disney adults are going to be over some Texas guy's shoulder? Oh, yeah. And be like, where do I put him?

Oh, yeah. Dude, the shirt you were wearing on the podcast the other day was like that. Rose, it was like, kill your local. And like the guy on the ground who was wearing a fucking Disney shirt. Yeah, the hells angels sent that to me. What a wild. That's one of their merch shirts. What a wild flex.

Yes. Cody. It's processing and Cody said he's like. Some people try to defend the stuff sometimes. It's like, what an odd thing to say. It's a crazy self-report. What a fucked up way to say, check my hard drive. Put me in the wood chipper.

And we have politicians to this day who still like tried to defend those people online. Like what they call them, minor attracted people? minor attracted persons. Dude, the Roblox video is insane. I didn't realize it was that bad until Meets, Papa Meets video on it. Holy shit. There replies to that. With Amex

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mx.com.com. Dude, it just keeps getting worse and worse. Every day, it gets more fucked up. And this started way before Schlep. It just got, Schlep got it big, but they sued Ruben Sims. They tried to.

He beat them. The CEO's responses is what's fucking wild. When they decided to be a good idea to open up a dating app inside the children's game that's accused of, that's their new thing, their new plan, they're trying to get a dating app going in Roblox.

The thing that's marketed as a children's game And it's heavily criticized for having half of all children under 16 play Roblox right now in the United States. Do they have ID verification on this app? No. No, God, no. No, absolutely. That would be unconstitutional and it would ruin their profit margins. They can't do that.

Did you watch a pop and meet one yet? I haven't seen any of this yet. I've been off the internet for a while in that regard. The board is what is wild in the statements they release. They're like, well, we have talked with the board and our numbers are fine, so we don't see the issue here. They just go directly off their stuff. The numbers are fine. They only care about their margins.

And they put that forward. That is their public facing forward image is that. And they state that. It is fucking what. Well, I had people in my comments are like, damn, Dona, it's not talking about shootings right now. He's going after this because it's a serious issue. Consider that now two lists I'm interested in running on. The Epstein list and the Roblox list, because what the fuck is that all about?

Actively, that CEO is actively creating an army of Luigi Mangione's at the moment. Every word that comes out of his mouth, people are like, hmm, I have a unibrow. Dude, where are some of the statements? It was the statements that really, it's crazy. They're so fucking out of pocket that they tried to sue a YouTuber that was like, I think 19 at the time. And he's just got like 1.1 million. And he was just exposing what's going on on Roblox. And they sued him to stop him.

And he beat their ass in court with their, an 89. billion dollar corporation and this little YouTuber won. He's a gangster. I fucking love him. Yeah. Eighty-nine billion. Yeah. They were running, oh, the tax, did you see their tax problem too? He had that claimed as a small business. 89 billion?

Compared to who? Russia? With a B? Yeah, billion. How many countries have a smaller GDP than 90 billion? As Pops me says, you have Robux. You have a dollar currency system in your game. You are not a small business at all. And

they're using those Robux to pay kids they're meeting on the app to meet them on Snap and send them child pay. Then they're using those pictures to sex stork the kids into doing more and more disgusting and grotesque things like with their younger siblings and household

pets. The stories that are coming out of what's happened on Roblox is mind boggling. And what are their preventative measures? Like what are they doing about this? No, no. So that's the thing. Cody go. No, that's the thing. they so they we I think we talked about it shortly on one of the podcasts we have the other day they they have like separate like chat rooms set up where some of them are a simulator for going into a public restroom with a grown man and there's like you have all these all these YouTubers who are exposing that and it's like why if I can find this as someone who just started a new account why can't the Roblox security team or whatever the fuck they have running over there why can't they go and there and just delete all these rooms delete the the IP addresses of everyone who's in those

rooms immediately I would say not only would I delete them but I turn over the people involved to the fed now watch watch this is to ban the people exposing it yep watch this is a former robox employees choosing shareholder interests over children's safety and when asked about their approach to child safety he said quote you have to make a decision right you can keep your players safe Then there would be less of them on the platform Or you just let them do what they want to do And then the numbers all look good And the investors will be happy

Jesus fucking Christ That is a Roblox statement That is what we like to call Just downright evil behavior The fuck Thank you Hunter Bro 85 billion

You ready for this Out of 196 countries Only 68 make About 100 billion and over So 128 countries Roblox makes more GDP than 128 countries

And their total Would they they had like a 2.5 billion player Like active or 2.5 billion players in the game It's several million a day active players What was the country that just banned them? There's been a few that I've tried to or have banned 380 million monthly active with a total 85 million daily daily 85 million yep like i was saying earlier half of all kids under

16 play roblox in the united states that is wild and then they're just like eh we don't care let them do what they want if you're marketing turkey if you're marketing as a children's thing why would you even allow a fucking guitar and kuwait banned them but we've just got them chilling over here. They also banned women's rights, so I mean, maybe they're on a role. Why would you even allow something called public shower or public restroom simulator on a children's appell? Why would

you allow escape to Epstein's Island or diddy party room on there? If they're aware of that this sort of activity is happening on their platform, why would they not be actively working with yeah? Why would they not be actively working with don't hurt the skull?

Why would they not be actively working with the FBI? to try to make sure these people are caught so their platform safe. I mean, because the margins, Brent. I'm not going to lie. Margins on. Can't be that fucking good. That's what that's,

aside from a fucking blatantly evil perspective of thinking that that matters. What if they know that they're and therefore they charge them more for stuff and they're making more money off of. Escape to Epstein's Island. The picture is literally Epstein chasing a screaming child through what looks like hell. Technically, that's not a child. as a Roblox person. We don't know what age they are. Oh, right. It could be a 5,000-year-old dragon girl. God, what is that called?

Lolly. Lolly shit. Lolly something. Disgusting. District 23 will take away perfect, erp, not perfect. Pervie anime. Well, that was a Freudian. That was a, yeah. Richard, do you have anything to tell us? I really like tentacle. Do you want to borrow my ghost bed pillow?

Does it smell like you? Yes. Do you feel that cooling technology? It's definitely not a hot pillow. I got to get out of here. Give me my pillow. I'm the one that has to sleep here. You guys have your own houses and your own pillows.

Quit touching it. All right, real question. Can the gang do a pillow fight? Not with these. A slow motion pillow fight? No, they're heavy. It'll hurt. Are they really?

Yes, they're premium. Dude, that would actually... That actually... I don't think I'd want to get smacked with that. I'm swinging it hard, okay? Your son, you walk up and just tee off on your kid. If I smack you with this, you're going to be a ghost. And get this.

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bed.com slash unsubscribe. Use the code unsubscribe to sleep better and stay cooler. What did you guys go do last night? I introduced JD to JT. Oh, nice. Very nice. J.T. was over there cooking sticks. Got to me to Caleb.

Now there's another one in our large tattooed man. Giant tattooed man. The largest of the boys with the sweetest of the voices. I forgot his name today when I was telling the story in Nick's car and I called him Cupid. and I was just like that seems super appropriate just for how sweet his voices

and how big he is to just imagine him with like tiny tiny wings just floating around out you guys should hang out you guys want tiny wine hey just Caleb and Tyburn

slag around with a boat he really is the nicest guy no he's one of the nicest people I've ever met in my life but god damn is he not a scary human being if a boulder from the never ending story people

it like got up and was just like how you do you want to lift everything so be like Caleb I feel like because you guys

you know JD Nick and Caleb all together just like the Viking like jacked tattooed guys like you guys

we don't we don't we don't look like the TV show Vikings we look like the Vikings from how to train your dragon

like you guys should all you guys should all start a podcast there's not enough of those guys who look like that you guys look

like the army reservists that are like to belhalla brother yeah and that's another one my buddy nate valhalla vt he's big red beard tattooed lethal yeah there's not enough bearded white guys doing podcast these days this is true we need way more oh shit so many more oh you don't really count no no brown person brown person that's a good brown person beard though but that's because he has some east on you up hand in him my this is all i can grow this like eight years in the work. I think that's the Asian DNA. Yeah, 100%.

You know, we can get you some stem cell therapy for that if you just rub it on your face. Will you grow up, will you grow up just this part right here? I can see how long. We can get the kung fu hangars. I can see how long I can get this. We cracked the babies in half

and just like, oh, God. I don't be cracked babies. You boxing with the kung fu handlebars would be so much more cool. Honestly. My quick movement is like, Eli,

for the bitch. bit you'd have to get the fucking just grow these f s out yes I'll try yes do you remember the South Park episode hackman when they were talking about stem cells

yes oh yeah he's cracking the babies and who was it um Reeves superman yeah Christopher Reeves that's him in the episode yeah you gotta crack him and just rub them that's the one where Cartman had 37 aborted fetuses in his backyard

yeah probably is is that the episode where he tried to like clone the Del Taco? Yes, with stem cells. Yeah. Jesus. I didn't even know that. I don't remember that part.

Has anybody watched the new South Park ones? They're like all shitting on Trump. I've seen like bad reviews for them, but it's all like super right-leaning like accounts on Twitter. Right. So I'm really like grain of salt. Like it's probably still funny. I just haven't had time to watch them.

They're right. They're very equal on that. They've been very transparent. They make fun of everyone equally. I wouldn't say equally, but they do make fun. fun of both like it's definitely they're they're definitely more left-leaning which like it's fine did they ever shit on our last president for falling down and just like being a geriatric really no like i i even try to look for it and i was like damn son of a bitch i don't think they ever actually directly did

biden but uh or comala but they definitely have made fun of the whole woke culture yeah and all of that you know what i'm saying they just didn't go specifically as hard as they're going on trump j d vance i mean there there's definitely a fire in their ass about that and the end of the first episode of the season where they get an AI Trump and they're doing they part of the thing is Trump sued them right because they said something bad about him and he just runs around suing everybody with his tiny penis out and trying to fucking Satan in the ass and so he sues South Park they have to pay him like $3.5 million and make 50 pro Trump ads so they end with a pro Trump ad where he's walking through the desert and it's like Donald Trump walks through the desert for

all Americans and our freedom and he's ripping his clothes. off till he's butt naked and then he like falls down of exhaustion and his penis pops up and starts talking to him and it's like a finger with googly eyes but it's super graphic it was an amazing end scene i have not seen any of that my i guess my biggest problem with it is that for the clips that i've seen at least i thought the j d vans thing was pretty funny jd vans thought it was funny and i thought it was good and charlie kirk leaned into it immediately which is what you have to do because south park are fucking bullies bro they are bullies and they bully and they bully pretty much everybody and if you let them know they're hurting your feelings they're going

to hurt your feelings more like christie noem she freaked out about you agree and amplify yeah it's like any spot in life that men we've been through like in prison if someone knows you're hurting their feelings oh yeah like you can keep hurting their feelings you got to lean into that shit yeah you can't ever let your feelings get hurt no if you show them that they're hurting your feelings they're going to come harder show a little bit of weakness yeah vans clearly Clearly media trained enough to go, that shit was funny. Charlie Kirk changed his profile picture to the picture that they made of him. And I'm sure they're done with him.

Christine Nome, they ended that episode, that last episode, with like five minutes of Christy Nome in a pet shop, just shooting dogs in the face. Like brutally executing dogs. Like every few minutes in that episode. In reality, it should have been the- It should have been the last ATF director. Oh, yes. Something we can agree on.

that was third agreement of the episode well I'm sorry well I'm sorry yes my biggest complaint is that from the bits that I've seen so I feel like this has been true about South Park for a while now it's just not funny like I used to I remember like South Park was so fucking funny when I was growing up

and now like the more I watch of it I feel like they're just phoning it in the Tegrity Farms like fell flat but they also they also admitted that it felt flat because when they decided to bring Stan Marsh and Talley like out of that element they set fire to the entire farm

and Tully and Stan Marsh are looking at each other and or Randy Marsh are looking at each other and they're like well that didn't really take did it no we tried yeah it fell flat on his face which is a meta joke about how the integrity farms thing didn't really stick I miss like one of my favorite episodes ever was where they were shoving food up their ass

to poop it out their mouth that was so good. The Turk didn't I didn't see that way yeah yeah the fitness yeah it was the way to lose weight. Cartman really pushed it. They had, um, fucking what's her dick that went to Joe? Yeah, um, Martha Stewart.

Oh, yeah, Martha Stewart was like, here's how you baste your turkey to shove up your ass. And like, that's what South Park was always supposed to be. Just like juvenile humor that we could sit down late at night and be like, yeah, this is kind of funny. Like dumb pooh-poo-pee humor.

And like even, even recently they've done funnier stuff where like, like said, they do attack both sides. Like not equally. I would not say equally. But they do. go after, like, for example, the Disney stuff

with, uh, what's Kathleen Kennedy? Oh, yeah. Like, put a chick in it, make her fucking, make it lame and gay. Put a black chick in it and make it suck. Like, that, that was funny. Like, I, that was the first South Park I've watched in a while. How was your linguine, Miss Kennedy? Put a chicken in and make your layman gay.

Make it lame and gay. You want us to do what with your linguine? Put a chicken in and make a lame and gay. I haven't watched much of anything really on the cartoons. I used to watch more family guy. I haven't watched The Simpsons in decades. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, that humor, I haven't, like, in probably, like, five, six years.

The Simpsons get a lot less funny when everything they did 10 years prior starts coming true. Yeah. Those conspiracies go wild. They're nuts. It's a lot of stuff that they guessed right. A lot of it's fake, though. If you ever look at, like, the dates, it's usually stuff that they parodied after it happened, and some Redditor changes the date it was released to before.

It makes me feel better. Yeah. Unless that's the Mandela, I think. Redders aren't people. people. No. Just like cyclists. Can we make Reddit go away?

Unless you're on the unsubscribe Reddit. In that case, we're very proud of how you're doing with the fitness challenge. You guys are crushing it. And Buffalo Public Schools. You did a great job of that. Excellent. Reddit did a great job with that. You guys are savages.

All y'all. For good. For the greatest thing ever. Sam, they are for good. Crushing the fitness challenge. A vote for Brandon Herrera is a vote for holding public officials accountable. Thank you, Derek, Brandon. 34 times.

Say something terrible. No. You're in frame with Brandon. It got way more damage. It got wholesome. No. It got wholesome and my goaler got soft. Say something awful.

You're like, do not do the wholesome shit. I will have to box this. I want to box today. Brandon, are you going to box today? Theoretically. That's on how I feel once we're done with this. Oh, you're talking to me or him? You too.

Fake, dark Brandon. Dark Brandon. You got to keep the wig? I'm not going to go and get my wig knocked off. I'll box. Yes. I forget how bad or good I am at it. It's been a long time.

Who all boxed yesterday? Me, Eli, Calvin, Thin. Yeah. There's only four, and then we all did rounds against each other. And it was the first time I've had to, I started bouncing and I caught myself. I was like, oh, I'm actually, I am actually very serious right now. I don't not want to get hit right now. I have to start playing.

You put it perfectly. It's playing chess. I haven't played chess in a long time with boxing. So I was like, oh, okay, Nick, homeboy's quick. Homeboy's very, very quick. Do not lie. Very, very fat. He's not supposed to be quick and the size that he is.

It's fucking daunting. It's terrifying. Yeah, it's like a jet pack on a, never mind. You started. No, now I want to know. Yeah, I want to know. It's like a jet pack on a whale. Yeah.

That was the least offensive thing you said all podcasts. I was going to say something else. Oh. I slipped inside. Of who? Nice. In District 23, you're allowed to slip inside your friends. Usually.

Sure. I can move somebody by going like bully. He was the first one. I hit a wall and I was like, uh-oh, uh-oh. He weighs more than me. I have to retreat. I'm going to get punched right now. Just catch a fish right here again.

dude you missed out how hard do you punch in sparring is it like 60% or you just kind of going for the quick one to be like I got you I want you to know that I could have hit you really hard yeah we just fuck around with each other when we do our stuff which Nick you're terrifying fuck you by the way you guys keep putting it like

me and Brandon play around with each other but you put like the last two times we've done the boxing thing you put me in the ring with you who you're a terrifying man and then clean God damn it clean used to be a actual fighter yeah who was an MMA fighter

he has the best cardio of anyone I've ever fucking ran into it's just kind of terrifying he would spend half the round fighting from like an aggressive lean yeah he's very good at angles that's very annoying very fucking annoying

you're like god dang it and he had way longer reach than me clean was laughing at me the entire time it was a fun bossing experience I haven't done it in you years it's a dude best best exercise you will get it's fun as shit yeah for sure died yesterday Calvin keeps wanting to take people down Calvin did really good for not boxing much I was very surprised I was like oh you're comfortable fighting because you don't shy away from getting punched

but you kept eye contact and you throw him back I was like oh shit okay this is proper you're not doing that oh this turn away god did you know it's smooth sack summer Damn right it is I need to quit Feel how soft they are Was this a scratch and sniff? Wow, those are soft Don't act like you've never done a sack check with the boys

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We're talking about we don't watch South Park. We don't watch Simpsons much anymore. Where do you guys watch in these days? documentaries. Well, you know you watch documentaries. That's called work, Nick. Well, in your leisurely time, you know, like once you put, you got your two kids now, your wife, you at the end of the night when you're just like chilling, what do you watch now? There is no leisurely time.

I'm watching the kids or I'm watching the documentaries because I'm working. I did watch Love Island with Hannah all the way through. Yeah, I would consider that leisure time. Yeah, that's perfect. How was that? Highly recommend it. I'll put it that way. If you're married,

I highly recommend it. It's fantastic. Because wasn't the one that you were saying, like they're putting out episodes like daily? Yeah. Like that just from like a creator standpoint when you watch it because I, I think their upload schedule was Monday through Thursday, an hour long episode. And it was like they start airing the episodes while they're still on set filming.

So like they're filming new shit and you're voting on. the next the whatever unfolds on the next episode is like gonna you're gonna find out the results tomorrow so like i don't understand how it's a voting system like day up they have like what's it they have like different things on the phone like you can vote who goes off the island kind of like survivor's favorite or least favorite couple what's the yeah what's the premise of love island the premise is they take like 15 horrors that are men and 15 horrors that are women and they put them on an island and if they can find true love and america buys it they win um $100,000.

So it's less than Mr. Beast. It's like literally a bunch of Hollywood people were sitting around in a boardroom and are like, what if we did Survivor? But instead of doing like athletic challenges or like moderately torturing people, we just had the challenges where they had to make out with each other and dry hump each other the entire time. And at the end, if you win, you get 60 grand after taxes to split between the two of you. Between the two of you.

Yes. Correct. It's wild. But like the real reason they do it is because a lot of the people that are like the more popular people on the show are now like mega famous. Like there's a couple of girls and guys that were on this Love Island show that now have millions of subscribers on Instagram and shit. And it's like they're getting like makeup deals and clothing brand deals and all kinds of shit. Like they're going to they make way more money after the fact if they're popular on the show. Makes sense.

This is wild. New episodes dropping Tuesday. through Sunday, 6 p.m. They air six days a week on Peacock. Holy gosh, an hour at least. With a one to two day delay. So they are filming, editing, kicking it out the next fucking day. And that's, that's not, that's not like what we do where it's like one or two of us on camera with

one or two cameras. There's like 50 cameras trying to articulate a story of everything that's going on between 30 different people. 15 couples. Yeah. However many it is. It gets less or more, depending on the episode, but it's like... The cameras, all the life, because it is, all the rooms are, I'm assuming you have cameras.

Yeah, all the rooms are bugged. Even the bedrooms and the bathrooms and everything. Everything has a camera. And like, they're like, they all have to sleep in the same room and you have to sleep with the person you're coupled up with. And like some of them, like, they don't actually get along. They were just coupled up with the game. They're just like, that's your side of the bed. This is mine.

Some of the time they're making out and cuddling. And then some of them that's just like, lights are out. The blanket's moving underneath. like you figure out what's going on like every room has cameras also the the producers of that have a heavy fucking way in on what they're doing because we we've had friends who have done stuff like that and like they've told us that

the producers will just throw like a Molotov cocktail into the room like not literally it's a lot of fake just throwing be really cool as they did yeah that'd be cool shit but just throwing something into the room or like telling them to do a certain thing And it's like just to create more drama. This is getting boring.

Fireball. The other part. I mean, that would be awesome. The other part that's funny for me is like there's a been multiple times where the producers just come in at night and are like, you need to pack your shit and get out. We found something that you put on Facebook five years ago.

One girl got kicked out. I think you'll have to borderless. Maybe one girl got kicked out. Not a white girl. I don't know what ethnicity she was, but she definitely was not white. and she had like a Snapchat live that somebody had screen recorded.

It was like something that auto deleted and she was doing her makeup and she said, I just got Botox in my cheeks and it's swollen right now so my eyes look and like she didn't know that that was a racial slur

and then they found that video and in the middle of the night pack your shit, you're gone and kicked her off the show and this was like years prior. That's not even a hard racism. Do we allow that? Is that hard racism?

Soft racism? No, think so. like Asians are the hard awesome hard awesome yeah I don't know Asians are some of the most racist people I've ever met my life so I think you could I love it I think you I'm still surprised they just kicked a bitch off for it also that's always the most terrifying part of if you think you did something on the internet and it's gone no it's not well the other the other part is like I could make this show so much better I was like I need you to get a 30 year old married guy

that was like in the military and one for the females as well where like they have a life coach because some of the decisions they make are just dog shit like it'll be like they're on love island Nick they're on love island but it's like one you know broccoli haired you know pretty boy

and he's got two girls that are just fawning over him and I'm not shitting you it was one of the girls refused to do the makeout challenges and you could kiss her on the cheek and they did like the reveal all moment where they're like, how many people have you slept with? How many people have you sent nudes to? She had been with one boyfriend for seven years that she slept with.

That was it. She'd never sent a nude, never done any of this other stuff. And then girl B that's fawning over him has slept with like 32 dudes and sent too many nudes to count. And he's like, I'm going to pick the whore, actually. That's the one I want to go married. You know who we need now? Come to think of it after you said that. You know who we need on Love Island?

You need to have Justin Governail on and tell him. It's just naked and afraid again. It's the matcha or the three ensemble Cicifora of the fates that I just deniches so much. Hmm, it's the ensemble. The format standard and mini, regrouped,

what are well? And the embellage, too beau, who is practically pre to donate? And I know that I'd they'd offer them, but I guard the Summer Fridays and Rare Beauty by Selena Gomez.

I'm just the most ensemble, the gift, the fairer of the fair beauty, way, Cifora Collection, and other part of Vite.

Procurry you, Corma Standard and Mini, He just shows up ready for naked and afraid, and it's fucking Love Island. He has a satchel on. Yeah, he's wearing nothing but a satchel. He's like, I'm ready to survive in the wilderness for a month. He's like, oh, great, we get clothes? Awesome.

Dude, dude, awesome. I'm going to think, bang the whore. He still does the same thing. Immediately, Justin would do. How many needs you said? Come here. Ew, one. Gross.

Challenge accepted I love Justin Justin's like Quagmire in real life I don't think What? Giggitty He's like giggedy

All right Yeah Hors, what Respect women Huh How many seasons Have you watched I just watched

The newest season With her It's like I was just like Sitting on the Couch like on Reddit Shit posting While it's playing In the back

So like I'm like half cognizant Throughout the entire show But it's always like Oh yeah Yeah she's crazy blah blah blah blah blah oh the episode's over let's go have sex I feel like this is so much more interesting than this shit I'm watching

I'm just like crime shi mafia and sci-fi yeah I feel like a bunch of horrors it's it's complete brain rot but because the only thing I watch besides that is I have fuck I need a not a notepad what date was at yeah world war two blah blah blah it's just nice to be like ha ha stupid what's it's really nice to be able to do that. You're like, man, these people are real. This is wild.

Well, the other thing is like, real, quote unquote. They have herpes outbreaks, and it's like all of them have cold sores by like week two. It's hilarious. If you look, oh, yeah. Run that shit back. You're taking a bunch of sluts from Instagram that want to be famous and putting them in a house and telling them to make out with each other as a challenge on the show.

And they have a whole ass herpes outbreaks? And they, oh, yeah. Like, they're all running around with cold sores and shit. And I mean, they're trying to cover it up with makeup, but you can see it. Oh, I. I got from Love Island was herpy simplex too. Fuck. You know,

and then they'll bring a one girl on and she's like, finally confesses, I'm a mom, which whatever, that's fine. But then, oh, the guys are going to be like,

ew. Well, so like some of the guys were, but then like my whole question is like, okay, where's the kid? Great question. She's like,

I'm a same mom. I'm a makeout challenge. I was like, I'm not trying to be a dick, but like, did you really just leave your kid alone for two months to go on Hoar Island for a chance to win 30 grand? In the background,

there's just a duffel bag that's like wrangling around. It's, it's two months for the chance to win 30 grand. It's a wild. What the fuck? Reality TV pays garbage. Holy shit. We've had some discuss this. They walk away with like $100 a day a lot of the times.

Yeah. It's very bad pay. And it is for the chance to get rich. Also, exactly. It's like, well, he's four weeks old. He can take care of himself. It's like, what? And you had a baby?

Do you think they're going to bring the kid on the show for like added drama? And then like this same girl that was the mom Ended up sleeping with two guys on the show Like at the bedtime scenes She's the one where you just see the pumping under the comforter And it's like Need the brother or sister Was it Chinese finger cuffs

We gotta grow up this family How are you gonna do that to your kid? Well she's not doing it to his kid She's doing it to another man Right but like That kid's gonna be in high school one day And be like In District 23 we won't allow that

None of that not in District 23 we won't You don't do that Not here Love Island can go stay home All right I got nothing Yeah

We're not about that here Okay how do we create a reality show Because obviously they're making Millions of dollars Step one Hors Hors. We have to have horrors on him Well we all basically married

At this point We're not going to participate in it You just do it the Sam Highway Oh like fish tank Fish Tank is the perfect example of Oh I know how to do it. I can make a billion dollars on a reality TV show. I just need the

budget to get it started. Also, Sam keeps getting kicked out of his house, though. I like the idea of a billion dollars. Literally, all you need to do because Survivor did it, and then they are like, oh shit, we have to change this right now. Survivor did an episode of Survivor, where

it was men versus women. Yeah. And I'm not shitting you. You're 15 minutes into the first episodes. The dudes have fire and are cooking fish. And they're celebrating. And the women are huddled up crying in the rain. And they're like, okay, we need to mix this up now.

And then they, first episode, they have a reshuffle. The dudes are having a fucking blast. They're like, this is a vacation. The women were empowered for all of 14 and a half minutes. And then they were begging for patriarchy. They were empowered on the boat ride there. And that's about when it's done. The dudes were catching the fish, and they're like, yeah, we got so much food.

We don't know what to do with it. But here's the thing. We do some variation of a show like Survivor, and then you just take two very, not politically, but like polarized groups of people. It could be Democrats versus Republicans. It could be Vikings fans versus Packers fans. It could be literally anything where it's just a group of people that don't get along. Palestinians versus Juice. Oh, God.

I think it'd be great. What was the first one? Palestinian versus Jews. Oh, well, that's already happening. Oh, is it? Well, I mean, it's making great TV. What's winning? Good numbers.

Everybody's talking about it. I was going to say I talk all the time about, like, how the, there's the L.A. group of content creators, and then we have, like, our San Antonio group of content creators, like Texas versus Los Angeles. Austin versus San Antonio. Yeah, even that. I just want you guys to know, I do not go when invited to L.A. I always come when invited to San Antonio

Like L.A. What games are we playing? Like me and Brandon and Eli talk about it all the time. You've got to pay us a lot of money to go to L.A. Yeah, exactly. Second, you land, and I fucking hate that airport. I hate, just garbage. What games are we playing in this hypothetical version?

One of them needs to be boxing. Oh, it's a game? This is a reality show. How do you get voted off? I was thinking the survival thing. Each person has to, when they get voted off, they have to say the N-word and get canceled. Oh, my God, that is the, you are trying your damned.

Yeah. No social media for you. Even if you don't say it, we'll bleep it out in post and make it look like you said it. Yeah. That way you don't make money off social media afterwards. No, that's 100%. You are giving a hundred percent. You have been voted off the internet.

Alex Rosen can't play. He's got a cheat code. Yeah, just saying it. You hand out passes. Yeah. They don't have the immunity. And then you walk up and make it like, if you're hosted by a black guy, that we're going to be like, you are invited to the cookout. There's the last person that doesn't get it.

Say the word. Say it. What did they call that? What was that in Big Brother, where they just had like the thing of immunity or some shit? Yeah, a survivor that you can find immunity idols that are here. Yeah, there you can win them or whatever, except it's in-word passes. I'm loving his game

I just feel really good about finding mine early in the game Cody really Cody finds one he's just he just says

it immediately and throws it away he flies off the island he quits levitating his toes were barely on the ground I'm like Mary Popping yeah

There's people, there's people, like, bargaining with, like, the producer. Like, listen, I can't say the N-Word? Can I just say that Michael Brown didn't have his hands up? Can I say that? Is that okay? Can I say that, like, 13% of the population commits a certain percentage? Can I say that? Anything but that, please.

Please. I can explain everything else away. Nope, you've got to say it. All right, Pudy. You're going to say it again. I know what I have to do. I just don't know if I have the strength to do it. Who would be a YouTuber that we'd love to see the N-word?

What? That's a strong statement. Never mind. He already did. He says it. Oh, my gosh. I'm surprised he's not canceled,

by the way. Can you hear that? That banging noise? That's the ladder being pulled up behind him. How'd you get up there? Don't worry about it. Damn,

I only started my YouTube career because of you. And you're up there now. Good news. His wife's back on. Yeah, his wife's. We can't play this. Play what?

Hard to get. The video for $7.99 a month, actually, you can. Oh. Oh. It's a sore subject. It's a little sensitive, like herpes. Okay, so we talked about, we got this. Asian scope.

What about, what didn't, uh, Billy, Billy sent us that one. Billy. Oh, fuck. I didn't wear the shirt. We got a board to math. We can put up the shirt right here, editor. And you can buy it at Bunker Branding. I was like, Billy actually made us the born-to-math autism shirt.

We got the crayons on there and everything. It's the full metal spectrum one. Dude, you got the Thomas the Train pen, the puzzle piece pen, everything. It's identical. The font? I don't know if that's real, but it's fucking perfect. Looks good. Dude, Billy, thank you so much.

It's going to be in the background of our podcast. Now, Eli's going to wear it, and we're going to see if it's actually ballistic. rated. Oh, I like this idea. Yeah, put it on. We're going to shoot Eli and that head. I was like, that's plastic. Ding, ding, ding, ding.

Well, that's the liner. That's not ballistic rated. Yeah. Hey, stop it with Asian jokes. Thank you for catching that. I feel seen. I'm like, fuck. I have a Vietnam-era helmet.

I could actually bring in the real helmet and you can wrap it with the real stuff. Do you have K-pop? No, that's not for K-pot. That's a Vietnam era helmet. Oh. I don't really listen to K-Pot. I do. My favorite song is

Finger Bang, bang you into my life. South Park reference. See, I'm out of any of those. It's an old one. That is an old. Oh, Christian band, right? Yeah, they, they, it's the little boy band. It's not the Christian. It's the it's when they just

become a little boy band. Yeah, but it wasn't a Christian band because they have have the rings, the purity ring episode. The purity ring isn't Christian bands. Purity Ring is when the Jonas brothers and Disney go on and he starts to try and like get a handy from his girlfriend. The Mickey Mouse is like, beat your fucking kneecaps man. Ho! Yeah, beat the fuck out of him too. What you're going to do is you're going to get those late year olds wet. You're going to sell some goddamn t-shirts. Oh, oh boy. The shit they get away with is wild.

Dude, that's two people I would love to sit down with one day with Matt Stone and Trey Parker. You just like pick their brains about some of the shit that they did over the years. One of the Corridor got to work with them. Like, on what? They built their

deep fake movie they did. So Matt and Trey did a deep fake movie. Let me get the actual Matt. This is the first time hearing of this. Parker. Deep fake. so they did an entire deep fake movie sassy justice so it's a web series created by tray parker matt stone

it was so good that none of us had heard of it yeah what a great web series what happened eight i mean a lot of people didn't hear about it and it's still an eight on iMdb oh that's good dear god but um this is 2020 and Nico and Sam are one of the few people that are doing AI face-changing deepfakes. So they actually reached out to them and like, hey, can you work on this for us? And they sat down, did everything together and filmed it together. They did all the deep fakes showing them what to do, how to do it. They got to work with them like every fucking day for four months or something like that.

Oh, that's cool. Yeah. That was one time I was really fun. You know their next project is with Kendrick, right? Fred Sassy. Yeah, they're doing like, they're literally doing a movie with Kendrick Lamar. No, see it. Which I'm really intrigued to see what that's going to be.

Sassy justice. He's just going to go to Toronto and hunt. It's going to show Drake in a cage. It's crazy that people that are getting catfished by deep fake celebrities. And they're literally sending them Snapchat. Like, did you guys see what happened with the Ronnie Radke situation with Tommy Lee's wife? I only heard a little bit about it, but go on. So, like, I guess Tommy Lee's wife thought she was talking to Ronnie Radke on.

his Snapchat that had like two followers or 60 followers and two posts or something. And she'd been going back and forth with them for a while. And her and Tommy Lee were fighting. She literally showed up at a house that she thought was his one night. And I guess he had sent some like deep fake actual videos. So she really thought that it was Ronnie Radke. And like she's like messaging him. I'm here outside of the house.

And it's like not his house. It's not him. He had no idea. but Tommy Lee like hits Ronnie up in some messages and he's like man what are you fucking with my wife for and he's like dog I have no like I love you I grew up listening to you you're one of my favorite people I'm not with your wife and he's like no fuck this she was thoroughly convinced that she was having an affair with Ronnie Radkey is this woman on TikTok yes yes she's very famous decided that she was going to stop doing TikTok marry Tommy Lee divorced her husband and then cheat on him cheat on Tommy Lee with Ronnie Radke that is how the story is goes yes. What a f***ing dumb bitch. I didn't want to say it. Did you hear about the Disney

lawsuit going on right now? About? They were at Disneyland, like a family, and the wife had a severe food allergy. So, yeah. Yes, it was in Disney World. It was in Disney Springs. Like this little Irish pub restaurant or whatever. The one with the Disney Plus thing. Because they signed up for like a free trial. the Disney Plus.

Well, go on what happened to the wife first. Yeah, well, when she had an allergic reaction to, like, food that she was promised that, you know, there wouldn't be, whatever peonuts or whatever the fuck it was. Yeah, she ended up, she died. Yes. Like, the wife died. And I want to say they wanted something very reasonable. It was like $50,000.

It was only $50,000, which I thought was weird. Like, you were undershooting it here, bro. You lost your wife. Yeah, especially for something that was very demonstrably their fault. Yes. And apparently the reason. and their defense was they signed up for a free trial of Disney Plus

and in the terms and conditions of the free trial of Disney Plus is you're not allowed to sue Disney for anything ever. It had to go to, it wasn't that they weren't like completely liability free. It's like they had to go to arbitration or something instead of like a court.

That's what you know. I think that was the breakdown which is still fucking evil. Why do you think he only asked 50 grand? What did she do? Well, she ate shellfish clearly, but. Yeah, but like the husband, why was that like, If I love my life, I'd be like $10 million.

This guy was like 50 grand pay for the expenses. Thanks for saving me. I think it was literally just like. He was on the Carfax. Oh, fuck. She was ran high on that. She was ran out of the way, way, way. That's such a, it's like, how much do you in a suit?

They took your wife. 50 grand something? And your wife is worth more than 50 grand for fuck's sake. I think he just wanted to cover like funeral expenses. Yeah. Like it was very reasonable. It's super. Way more reasonable than I would be.

It's their fault because they told they had a specific meal for it. That's the thing. It's like, yes, she is allergic to peanuts or shellfish. And then they served it anyways and then she died. That's where I'd be like, mah. And they like double-checked with the server.

Like they, to my understanding, the way it was presented, they did everything right. Yes. And that's the hard part where it's like, how do you return with like, I just want $50 grand? Yeah, well, he'd probably only want a $50 grand because she was also allergic to penis. Yeah, if you killed my wife This is a real person

Yeah Dog, I'm going to You're like right Cody Like if my wife died I'm fucking There's a mass cast incident Happening in Disney World If you kill my wife

I don't care where it's at Everything becomes a target rich environment If you're killing my wife dog L shaped ambush Can I just say Wouldn't it be absolutely Wonderful to do like an L shaped

ambush with each other Oh, this is the best group of boys It would be so much fun It's just like the male fantasy It is Just to be like Hey guys China attacked us

What? Yeah And Mexico's with them No way Fuck yeah All right boys Dibs on the saw I'm like

And shift us Oh my Look at Rich and Nick They are God they're doing so good On this ambush If And pause

You guys good We're good High five We need ammo Who are we sending Trout, run it. Because you're thin, you're lean, you're very hard to hit.

You're going to be our runner-blade. Just don't cry in the stairwell when Rich is getting stabbed by a German. Yes. I hope if anybody ever invades America, it's a demographic of people where their gear is going to fit me. It's not going to happen.

I know. That's not going to be a thing. We discussed this yesterday with Trout, bro. Where our heads are too big. Starring people don't have a full fridge, bud. I know. It's the worst part. You could take two.

I'm going to have to get like four of their chest plates and just make chain mail at a chicken plate. Your nickname's going to be the ogre. You're just walking around and shtraped over your shoulder. Like, you know, like, they crossed the wrong border. Just be civilized and collect ears, bro. Put them on a necklace. Chinaman.

You just have like. like eight fucking Chinese sappy plates across the front of your body you're like, could have just left Taiwan alone. Nick's literally bored and just like, you shouldn't have came here Ling Wong, like, oh, Mr. Nick, I'm so sorry. I ain't made you off my

but you took out my throat teeth you paint some very cool things on my head and that's been nice to you. So imagine I'm slicing that all for Nick. I'm like, Cody, what are you doing? Don't worry about me. I don't understand why you got a bash hole in back

of my skull and put your ding-dong inside. That's very rude to my country Like, Nick needs his skulls I couldn't even imagine Because there's no Rules of War at that point If you went out of everyone's Trust me, I know how fuck

Don't fucking come here Would be Hey everybody explained to Eli What war is like Yes please Tell me what is war like Yeah, you got the metal of iron time I've always said

If anybody ever invaded America The biggest issue would be Our government trying to convince rednecks to not taxidermy the invaders. Do you know how great? It's funny they sent rednecks to war in the Pacific

and they did things like this. Y'all ever seen a Chinese jackalope? The parachutes start falling. The parachute start falling and the town just gets over like the tornado siren loudspeakers telling everybody the bag limit not to take cover.

You're only allowed four We need enough to go around If we're going to sigh up a group of people And like play music to freak them out Before we hit them What song are you guys gonna pick All right, you first What song would you play over a loud speaker

To like psych out an enemy It's raining men It's raining, oh that's fucking dangerous That's scary Nicholas I'm a Barbie girl Ew gross You know that song by What was her name Carly Ray Jep is in that

Friday Friday Oh no that's got to get Rebecca Black. Yes, Rebecca Black. Thank you. You know all the things. I do. Mine is tiptoe through the tulips by Tiny Tim

because it's eerie. It's eerie. Party in the USA. Good one. Good one. I would go hard. Yeah, I'm waiting for somebody to do something heavy metal. No, I would go metal like.

I was thinking welcome to the jungle maybe. Yeah, slaughter to prevail. I would do like slaughter. So you know what's about to happen. Lift that shit. That would be fucking. I take it back. I want Phil Collins.

and the air no do do do do and the ambush starts right at the boom oh my god that's kind of round dude cover fire and tracers is I can feed it coming in the antenna boom boom

the pew oh so great the PTSD the would have they're retreating they're telling their new soldiers coming in

what you have to look out for you invade us there's not going to be PTSD You're not going home. If you hear these songs, fucking run. Just run. The enemy is f***ed up for life because we gave Rich the ox. They're like, oh, the white women had aggressive pit bulls coming after us.

They said they were friendly, but it was not the owner. I'm not into fucking dudes, but invade America, I might make an exception. Dude, just, I mean, I'm not going to lie, the content. Great content. Well, you got a generation of. men who were raised on the global war on terrorism. Yeah. Like that's all that America is known, at least when we were younger.

Like, you're still in it. You're still doing the Army thing. I'm just waiting for the next generation war so then I can be like, I think you know, boy. He's just got like a couple million angry dudes. Like at home. Yeah. Alcohol.

Yeah. And our wives. And our wives. The other thing that I think about is like, obviously not me, but like, You and Eli and all the dudes that were actually over there, like, I'm sure at some point in your deployment, somebody tried to kill you or you saw something where you're like, shit, that's a really good idea. That was clever. And then you just have that bag of tricks in your bag of tricks now. I hate for IEDs or types of ambushes, setups, anything.

I still hate a majority of the things that almost got me killed was dumb military decisions. those are some of the things that got me saved was I was just like this doesn't make sense can we change this? We're like yeah and we literally did a 180 in the middle of a street

quarter of a mile down that street that we were going to go hit the next convoy like the guys lost their legs and I was like oh that would have been me but instead of going across the city in a star

I was like why don't we just go in a circle they're like oh that's a good idea rich or high they can go crazy concept private high that's a good idea but IEDs we could have some phone with Oh, my God.

All the drones. Oh, yeah. Like, I'm going to say, do you know how many, like, everybody has a rifle that can poke somebody at 300 meters? Like, everybody. Yes. Like, you're not safe anywhere. You get 300 meters within a building, any building, and that American's like, easy pickings.

And we got big ass guns. Like, a 762 AK that shittily made was the worst thing we were coming up against. If you're looking at, like, you think Chinese. Timu armor is going to stop a nine mill? No. I need like the 3-3-8 Lapuze. That is a very funny thought that like the PLA is

going to fucking war with contracted body armor that doesn't even meet their own specs because it was literally from the wish.com factory. Yes. You can see that. We need to throw bodies out there. We have one billion people. America's like we've got 37 trillion rounds. I think we're okay.

Are you guys going to bring aircraft into this because you can only get so far at the Rockies, you know? Eli, eventually we're going to be level with planes just shooting them. Eli, you like Metal Gear, have the M82A2. Like, we!

Oh, see, oh, and then you're just going down the list to check off those on your, your firearms. We're unlocking killstreaks. Yes. It's like they don't think I'm not going to have a side bunker beside my house where I poison all the food. Yes, that's what I'm talking about. Do you know how many of them

are going to be like Oh, Pepsi, this is great They're Russian now This is great, Pepsi's so delicious How come it does It is fizz is gone Oh, whatever Arsenic injected into every can

What the f***er you doing? Poisoning the meat. What? Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. No, don't use the, don't use freezer B. You know all that fentanyl

you sent over here, fuckers? Yeah, come get this food. Do you know how many like sock puppet episodes I would have with like dead heads just like with their jaws so they're like well what'd you do wrong there Ling Wong? We're activated

America from the sound I thought it would be a good idea some of the content from YouTube would be out of control. On today's episode of Brandon Herrera we're loading Benadryl into a shotgun PLA versus a hat man round one and just film his trip

you get hat man I just have three PLA soldiers just in a fucking pen Do you know how much fun it would be You're still shotgun gunning them Oh no no He's able to speak again I would just have a soundproof

basement with like two dudes in there And just constantly playing the same Miley Cyrus song Of party in the USA That's just like the experience of a normal dad in 27 Yeah, but normal to them is not normal to us. Normal to us is not normal to them.

Rich, I'm super glad we're actually good people. This is a... You're saying for yourself. That invasion comes, Rich is, oh, it's raining minorities. I had to watch before... It's not racist to say go back to where you came from if you're shooting invaders. I had to watch U.S. soldiers dying before I deploy. It was just part of, like, desensitizing training.

Oh, they made you kill your buddy? That's weird. This is what they would play to soldiers of why not to get captured. Who f***ed this exact statements? They'd be like, and that's why, run, shoot yourself. Do not get captured by any American. Who does this is just, who did that to you? You didn't have to do that?

No, it's fucking retarded. That's the worst thing you can do. Oh, yeah, we had to watch a lot of that. What? Hold up. What? What element of you made you do that? division did it your battalion did it your brigade brigade brigade yeah your brigade commander is a

retard you never had to de no that's the dumbest shit ever i'm kidding me that is the you're so proud you're like yeah we desensors sides no no no oh my god that's such a horrible decision before you put young men in battle no so so rich guess what i never did when i was doing patrols got captured i stayed still see it works I would never stay still because that was the one thing. They're like, watch what happens when you stay still. Anyone that pause, they'd hold a position and not move. And then it would train, boom, shoot them.

And they're like, this is why you continue. If you're pulling security, if you're pulling guard, if you're moving, Bob, we've moved, continue to change positions. Like, do not stand still. Even when you're in vertical superiority, if you're behind a 50 cow, move your fucking head. So what they're doing is they're showing you, like, videos from the enemy of, like, like soldiers dying, unfortunately, but it's because, okay, okay. And what do you think was?

Like, straight up torture scenes of them like torturing Americans? Oh, no, no, none of that. Oh, holy shit. I'm like, I'm the Taliban. This is an American soldier and I'm pulling out his eye mouth. They're like, you see what happens if you don't wash your feet in the feet? And I'm like, what? No, no, from a tactical aspect of, you see how he stayed still?

That's how they were trained on him. Unfortunately, that American died. Don't do that. Okay, that's different, it's very different than what I was like, wait, hold on, I think we're here. I feel like, what fucking psycho is just showing Americans getting gutted on the planes of Iraq and being like, you see what'll happen? If you don't check in with their battle body every five minutes, drink water, who will? Get the, I feel like that's a proven method though. Like in school when you're going through sex ed and they want you to like wrap it up, they show you pictures of like Lindsay Lohan's infected with all that shit on it.

And you know what I'm saying? And if you get a DUI to correct that, you go to a class and. they make you look at all these pictures of like decapitated kids and weird shit that happened from drunk driving accidents. That's what they would show me as a young sailor like don't buy a motorcycle because we would have young sailors like take a jixer or something and just slam it into a fucking building. They showed that my motorcycle safety course.

Like the guitarist for Mastodon last night died on his motorcycle. What the fuck? Yeah, last night. Oh, fuck. 51 years old. I'm saying I didn't realize they did. that with the Navy. The motorcycle thing, like, just don't get a fucking motorcycle. That's what they would tell us. Yeah. Yeah, they would show it was just like the, like the gnarliest

wrecks ever and stuff like that. We have made you too reckless and fearless to be on one of these things with two wheels. Because you're, you're giving young men like money they've never had in their life, you know, even though it wasn't a lot of money, but it's like you have enough to buy like a jixir, like some shit like that. We all watch Tron Legacy growing up. I thought, yeah, it's like, Don't do that. And you're the most testosterone you're ever going to be in at that point of you're like, I'm invincible. You're a 21-year-old jacked kid who has a couple hundred dollars a month.

Like, you might want to buy a motorcycle. So I agree with that. But also, like, I think they were good on your point because, like, if someone slid into my house in a foreign country, I would take you down to the basement and no one would ever see you again. See, I'm excited for the pepper. box movie that we eventually make on the hypothetical scenario of yellow dawn is that what it's going to be called because I love that name

it's a working title it's more like yarodon do ours and by the way speaking of what you said I'm pretty sure that you can't buy any jixers after the Civil War so they

Are you still trying to keep your career as a police officer? I'm homeless. I didn't fucking heard that. I'm having a lot of fun talking about U.S. invasion with you all. Question. Yes. I did like some of the things, like the tactics that, like, Russia used and it was, like, taking prisoners out

and, like, putting him in Wagner group. How effective, like, legitimately. Because can they be trusted, or will they be able to get the job done or would they just do their own thing? If, hold on, if we gave, like, a bunch of meth, like people that were arrested for, like, meth and violent felonies, more meth. And we're like, here's, like, a pistol with, like, five rounds in it.

You got to go behind enemy lines and get your own guns and stuff. But you can do whatever you want. I'm going to tell you right now, at any point while I was incarcerated if they would have been like yo we want to send you to war I would have been like fucking sign me

are you fucking kidding me there are a lot of patriotic dudes that are locked up so it would seem like people would be mad at the government about that shit or some all those dudes in there are super patriotic

they would love the chance to go and kill any stuff bro you just point and they'll shoot so get them in there and if you give them meth they're probably going to be some butt but they're definitely going to kill shit too. I was going to say, what a retarded

thing to do. Like, oh yeah, and if they gave you math, like, yeah, of course they're going to do that. Oh, yeah, we did that quite a lot. Yeah. Not only the United States, but, you know, Nazi Germany and everyone. Make super soldiers. That was just like a thing. You got issued that like with your green beans and toothpaste. Yeah. Here's

your pans of chocolate. Enjoy the next three days of not sleep. Best videos is watching those soldiers tweak out. Yeah, they're like, pupils are like that big, climbing a tree. Oh my fuck. We're in Paris. Yeah, exactly. And it doesn't even just have to be the mildly criminals.

You can also just strap the pedophiles to, like, the outsides of tanks and use them as human shields. I like this. Maybe catapult. Drop them out of drones and just drop them on top of people from such a high distance that they splat. No, we have to use them. The we use is like anti-mine detection. Perfect. Yeah.

We're just like, hey, guys. Walk through this fucking Godforsaken death. Desert. French for Allegiance. So they take a lot of criminals. And it's how you can just have a new start. One of my buddies, he was part of that before 9-11 kicked off. He was in the French for a Legion. Now, he was a good, like, perfect, really smart, intelligent. He just wanted to learn French and joined the French Foreign Legion to do that. Because the big thing about the French Foreign Legion is you can just go in and have a new identity. Yes. So I knew a Navy diver. buddy that did that like he was prior prior or after Navy no like he he was prior Navy he was bored and so he joined

the French foreign legion but he was telling me that like you get a new social security number you get a new name you can start over because they'll take anyone and make them cannon fodder basically and you know they were like hey okay what's your name gave his actual name

and like what's your name though this like oh shit Okay. That's retarded. I know a dude in Miami who'll do that for 600 bucks. Well, they were like, I used to be that guy. He was like, here you go. Here's your stuff.

He was a comms guy. But when they deployed to, this is Africa and Mogadishu. And they had one attack and IED exploded on one of their vehicles. And then immediately, because the majority are fucking criminals. They were like, oh, okay. the local populace just blew us up and didn't tell us, okay, they rounded up the kids, fucking strap them on the side

of the vehicles, and then they strapped all the kids around their vehicles, drove around, did a patrol, and then drove back, dropped the kids off, and then that never got attacked a single time after that. They were like, and that's when you have the issue of criminals doing it because they're like, I don't know, they blew us up this one time,

so we took care of it, and then no one attacked us after that. They learned the lesson. Jesus. Yeah, dude. French for Legion. There's what's what's right, And there's what's effective. Yeah. That's, yeah. Enos was like, it is a fucking wild story.

Because you are five years. You have to sign up minimum. You are there six days a week. You have to learn how to speak French, too. That was a big one. Yep. You have to learn how to speak French. You mean in other countries to participate in certain things,

you actually have to adapt to their culture and learn their language? We're J.D. You're a part of it. That's crazy as fuck. That's an oddest thing I've ever heard. Racist. I want my battle buddies. to click their tongues and speak in Gaelic

Speak in Gaelic What was that way? What were you doing? Like click tongues speak in Gaelic Same thing Yeah, why do you have to attack show like that, dude? Wait, I think Dave's the only one that knows Gaelic Dave, you know Gaelic, right?

Yeah, how do you say, hey, how you doing? Oh, King Queen. That's very nice. Dave, I didn't know you knew Gaelic. Yeah, yeah. Used to be anyway. Not so much anymore. Capital core. Cross tattoo is even long while other.

That means, how are you? I love my bed. All of those things are true. I'm glad we got that. And District 23 will allow you to love your bed. Just, you know, requiring people to pass a basic citizenship test where, you know, you learn how to actually use our roads and understand the road signs and not, you know, take a 180-degree turn in the middle of a street and kill a family of three. The crazy part about that video was his lack of a reaction to that. It's completely desensitized.

Huh. I didn't, like, didn't give a shit. Yeah, that guy seen, like, 80 people fall off trains and get, like, delimmed. He did not. there was that sign that one picture of there is a sign that says do not turn around like right there too yeah he's like just cut it cut a bitch real quick on a freeway what what is it rich torso decapitation that's what happened to that entire family of three oh we just call it dead yeah that's a very that's a very good name for it but um

I didn't know. I don't know. I never heard that term before. They slid under the truck. Their torsos were like cut in Twain. From here up. Yeah. It was done.

I heard of like de-gloving and like demasking. I'm not sure demasking. What's that? Your face gets ripped off. Yeah. Just like what happened. Scooby-Doo? Pay attention.

Yeah. And that horrible incident with those two actors. Face off. John Travolta and Nicholas Cage. They both were de-masked. God, that is such a good movie, too. It really is. I've never seen it.

You've never seen face off? No. Scientology makes really good actors. I understand the premise. It's so cool. Do you think we could do that with Eli and, like, one of the Asian captures that we get when they invade America? And then we send Eli back to their lines? Yes, with like a sht vest.

No, no, no, no. That's what. Nothing I want to do. No, no, you love it. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Just ripping my face off. Like, I hate this part. Like, you're not going to love the next part either. That's what we use the for.

Oh, but we could just tell him he's going to get like 99 pristine tacos when he dies and goes to happen. We need more tape. His eyes aren't squinty enough. Speaking of John Travolta, did you hear John Travolta is trying to leave Scientology? I didn't know he was I know he started. Yeah. How do you try to?

I don't know. I think he tried to. He said something about leaving. I think they released a sex tape of him in a bunch of minors or something. I don't know. Oh, what the fuck? But he said something about leaving Scientology. I thought maybe you guys would have.

I'm just thinking of a guy going into Tom Cruise's office like Travolta's gone. I'll be outside. So with how much money they've both donated and the way Scientology works, they're supposed to have superpowers. I think one of them's invisibility and one of them's invisibility and one of of them shooting fireballs. Well, Tom Cruise hasn't aged, so he's definitely got one of something. Have you guys looked into Scientology at all? Are you fucking with this right now? No, Scientology's weird as f***. And I'm not like, I didn't want to talk about it while I was on

probation out of Florida because they literally own Clearwater. Yeah. And they have so much pull and sway that like anytime anything with Scientology would come up, I'd be like, really want to talk some shit, but my freedom. Uh, but like, you're being legitimate with the superpower shit? Yeah, no, like Legitimately, once you reach a certain level and the way to ascend to these levels is by giving them fucking money. The South Park episode does a fantastic job. Yeah, with a chef. And Lord Zeno, the alien that lives in a mountain. And they're just flashing on the screen.

This is actually what they believe. This is actually. It actually is. So look, just because you've never seen Tom Cruise shoot fireballs out of his hands, doesn't it? Absence of evidence doesn't mean evidence of absence. I don't know that he can't. I've never seen Epstein touch a child. Oh, Jesus, fuck.

Boom, roasted. So are we going to get that list? I fucking hope so. That was the one thing I've always been transparent on from day one. They're like, oh, well, just because there's certain Republicans that I'm like, no, I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck. Right, left, whatever.

Brandon, I think we both need to come clear and just let everybody know that we took one ride on the jet and it was just because we were with our family you can speak for yourself you're there for the scuba diving and always sunny yeah i was there for the jet skis we need to make a song dog it's the implication dittling kids isn't good yes no i just i don't give a fuck who's on the list like i i i understand that there's not like some excel spreadsheet that he kept that just like oh here's everybody who's ever child i don't know i think that's or shit there absolutely is a log of people that like showed up and he was just like there's There's like a little stamp of like an anime character that says like they did something to somebody.

Well, maybe I just want to see all that has it. I guarantee you fucking somebody has it. Yeah. And I guarantee you. The CIA and Mossad probably have that. Part of the reason why it's probably not getting released is because the people who did have it and the people who knew about it. Yeah. Dude, did you guys see that they actually released the paperwork, the FBI cooperation and confidential informant paperwork for Epstein when he got.

that case in Florida like that like basically dropped yeah like it just recently came out or maybe it was out before and I'm just finding out about it but like I had the paperwork in my phone I'm like holy shit he was absolutely cooperating with the FBI and he got like this sweet deal that gave immunity to people that are unnamed uh that's crazy I've never seen anything like that before Alexa who was just Lane Maxwell's father yeah yeah yeah What did he do for a living? Alexa, what did Jelaine Maxwell's father do for a living? Elaine Maxwell's father is Roboto Mokerswiri.

What did he do for a living, Alexa? All right then, keep your secrets. And District 23 We'll make Alexa tell us What's late Maxwell's father did as a living So confirmed Mossad agent And he made textbooks for school kids In the United States

Yeah Yeah Our curriculums that our kids learned from Came from him I think on that fucking joke You can end the podcast. Bye, everyone. I was joined today by Eli Double Tap, Fat Electrician, J.D. Delay, Dark Brandon.

Yes. Angry cops. Brandon Herrera, myself, Donut Operator. Thank you so much for being here. We love you. Have a great day. You don't know my name We just see my day