Unsubscribe Podcast - Angry Cops Saves JD Delay From Going Back To Jail | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 233

Episode Date: October 5, 2025

2 Cops, 1 Felon. What could go wrong? Sub to our boys!  @AngryCops   @JdDelay5150  LIVE TOUR TICKETS: https://unsubcrew.com/liveshows Ryden's Video! https://youtu.be/2UxjbMuJO3Y?si=H05FipnhwHl28-df Watch this episode ad-free and uncensored on Pepperbox! https://www.pepperbox.tv/ WATCH THE AFTERSHOW & BTS ON PATREON! https://www.patreon.com/UnsubscribePodcast P.O BOX: Unsubscribe Podcast 17503 La Cantera Pkwy Ste 104 Box 624 San Antonio TX 78257 MERCH: https://www.bunkerbranding.com/collections/unsubscribe-podcast ------------------------------ THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS! ADAM AND EVE Go to http://adamandeve.com and enter the promo code UNSUB to get your discount, 100% Free Shipping and get it fast with Rush Processing. HARRY’S Our listeners get Harry’s Trial Set for only $8 + a Free Gift at http://harrys.com/unsub #Harryspod MANDO Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @shop.mando and get 20% off + free shipping with promo code UNSUB at https://shopmando.com #mandopod CASHAPP Download Cash App Today: https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/5u7gm6rr #CashAppPod. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. See terms and conditions at https://cash.app/legal/us/en-us/card-agreement. Direct Deposit, Overdraft Coverage and Discounts provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit http://cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures. ------------------------------ UNSUB MERCH: https://www.bunkerbranding.com/pages/unsubscribe-podcast ------------------------------ FOLLOW OUR SOCIALS! Unsubscribe Podcast https://www.instagram.com/unsubscribepodcast https://www.tiktok.com/@unsubscribepodcast https://x.com/unsubscribecast Eli Doubletap https://www.instagram.com/eli_doubletap/ https://x.com/Eli_Doubletap https://www.youtube.com/c/EliDoubletap Brandon Herrera https://www.youtube.com/@BrandonHerrera https://x.com/TheAKGuy https://www.instagram.com/realbrandonherrera Donut Operator https://www.youtube.com/@DonutOperator https://x.com/DonutOperator https://www.instagram.com/donutoperator The Fat Electrician https://www.youtube.com/@the_fat_electrician https://thefatelectrician.com/ https://www.instagram.com/the_fat_electrician https://www.tiktok.com/@the_fat_electrician ------------------------------ unsubscribe pod podcast episode ep unsub funny comedy military army comedian texas podcasts #podcast #comedy #funnypodcast Chapters 0:00 Welcome To Unsub! 2:15 Rich & Donut Bond Over Policing 10:32 JD Is Moving To Texas?? 11:52 The Texas Crew Grows 13:46 Meat Canyon IS Papa Meat 17:30 Alex Terrible 21:52 Positive Motivation Vs Negative Motivation 26:18 Drill Sergeant Rich Returns 27:58 Brandon’s Congress Run 34:00 Soaking 35:02 Asian God 37:46 Rich Got JD Out Of Jail 51:13 Police Vs Criminals 56:05 Aligator Alcatraz 58:31 Prison Reformation 1:00:43 Public Executions 1:04:50 The VFW In Colorado Prison 1:21:10 JD’s Jail Escape 1:26:30 The Bird Story 1:29:04 Prison Life 1:33:42 Jared Leto & Shia LaBeouf 1:39:00 Japanese Prisons Vs US Prisons 1:41:54 The Count Of Monte Cristo 1:46:42 Vents In Prison 1:53:00 Men’s Buttholes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Don't look at me. Are you asking me to put out a hit? Because I know people in Colorado prisons. What the fuck? Can you say execution? Jesus Christ, dude. No wonder you kept getting caught. I said I was a career criminal.

I didn't say I was good at it. Say hi to Eli. He's racially ambiguous. Brandon. His hair is fucking fabulous. Don't I. A dark. smoke disposition and there's a fat electrician.

Welcome to unsubscribe. What is up, everyone? I have so much to say. We got a couple updates. The fitness challenge. That's what everyone's here for first, right? For the next couple of weeks, we're going to be getting all the numbers, checking everything, and then starting a voting process for the, hey, who is

motivational and all that stuff. I cannot stress how proud we are of each and every one of you that participate. in this. And if you didn't participate and you just helped and motivated people, fucking awesome. And I want to see this continue. Everyone just kicking ass, taking names, holding each other accountable, and pushing through. Awesome job, each and every one of you. Also, quick ticket update. San Antonio and Orlando are around the corner, so make sure you snag those up. Come out, have a blast. We are really looking forward to meeting all of you. And we can't wait to meet as many of you as we can. And something else to keep an eye open for. We have finally hit the point

in the shoes foot apparel business that pretty much once you order, the shoes are landing. Which shoes is that going to be? The ones we've been promising you for a long time. The jump out side zips. And if you want detail, it is down to, hey, the U goes down and cuts across specifically for that. And these zippers reinforced for that. Also the nice, like, felt. interior so you don't feel it and plus these are still about a month out but we have finalized it and that is the purpose of this message the unsub side zip duty boot reinforced heel reinforced stitching thicker sole and we added leather all the way up to reinforce the laces all of the new ones are coming with 550 cord and regular

laces and we back that up with the lifetime warranty keep watching and looking out for the fitness updates we promise you in the next couple weeks we will be releasing the winners and the information behind that. Go buy your tickets now. Come hang out. Everyone enjoy the episode. We love you. Keep kicking ass and taking names. This is a really quick insert. Quick writing update.

I'm so freaking proud. I know you all will love this. Ryden just created his first video shot for shot with VFX of Terminator 2. He taught himself every aspect of that. It is his Riden Quo's YouTube channel. We'll put a quick link somewhere here. If you can go check it out, go give it a quick watch, give it some comments. He was so stoked to upload this and show y'all.

It's seeing these new emotions I've never seen him do, and it's all thanks to the support y'all been given. I am just so proud of my kiddo and what he is accomplishing. Ah, I just a proud dad moment. Holy moly. Hola, everybody. Hola! Okay, everyone ready for the countdown? Three, two, one.

Hi, everyone. Sorry. Thunder rolls. Sorry, God. He does not want this episode to happen. This episode is a crime against God. I know. Jesus doesn't want us to talk.

It's thunder. To God loves you so much. He said, don't talk to the police. Even though after you're on done this shit. ACAV. I don't answer questions. I don't answer questions. Oh, my God.

Okay, everyone. Welcome to the unsubscribe. podcast. I'm joined today by Eli double tap. Angry cops. Rich, I missed you by the way. J.D. Delay, myself, toned operator. Thank you guys so much for being here. What's up, bitches? We're back at it again.

Everyone got a break. No, you didn't, but you love this. Yeah. We're rolling right into the second one. We're trying to stagger them. And then I'm super stoked for this one just because I have two men of the law and our boy, J.D. I'm nestled in between law and enforcement officers right now.

What are we at, 58 felonies? Yes, yes. Okay. Last time I was this close to two cops, I had a sore asshole for weeks. I thought the last time you were this close to cops, you had to call me up on the phone and ask me for a favor. Oh, that was wonderful, by the way. Thank you so much.

I didn't know you were a poetic, prolific writer. I was an English major. I was going to be an English teacher before I was a cop. Well, that explains it. Holy shit, man. Should we... We're going to go back to that. What? I think everyone in the audience was like, huh, huh, huh, huh?

Rich, is that why we get along so well? We were both men of literature? Like, yeah, like writers. Yeah. Back in the day. Yeah. Wait, what? Did you go to college for writing too?

No, I wrote like 500 law enforcement articles before I got into the YouTube thing. I know Rich, Rich, you did that too? I didn't write like 500 articles, but I was an English education major, and I had to write a lot. We're good at telling stories, buddy. That's true. That's why I became an English major is because I got back home from Iraq and I didn't know what I was going to do. I was like, I know I got to go to college for something. And I was like, well, I'm not good at math, even though I enjoy it.

I go, but I am really good at bullshitting, which is what English is. If you can say the sky is purple, black and green all at the same time, you just have to wax on poetically of why you feel that way and then you're right math is you know one plus one equals two english is i say whatever it is and how i feel and you can bullshit damn and knowing how to use uh a semicolon people don't know how to use a semicolon yeah it's true they all think it's about a semicolon is a super comma yes it is a longer it's just a longer pause yeah is that maybe we didn't know this is how we get along so well. We, we, we kind of on the same vocation, like, we, we were both meant to be entertainers on the internet, but we became guys first. I didn't even know how to use a semi-colon.

I don't know how to use your colon. Come on. You beat me to the colon joke. I'm learning so much right now about my friends. I'm good at beating felons to things. Hey, I'm a little too light skinned for all that, buddy. I don't know. There's getting pretty dark right there. there's some dark spots on it right in the blackout tattoo I'm excited for this episode this is why well that slight tangent they went on about English education yeah I love it what the fuck we just we'll just get that out of the way now how many years of college did you do three and a half I only had

I had one semester left and it was going to be my student teaching and I think one other easy course and I got picked up by the Buffalo Police Department and they were like, hey, do you want to come in tomorrow and swear in? I was like, sounds good. And that was, that was it. My buddy was a math teacher and then he became a Buffalo cop.

And it was a Buffalo cop for years and he was a jumpout boy. And he was like, Rich, you're going to, you get back home. You should just try it out. If you don't like it, just go back to teaching. And I was like, okay. And then I loved it. No shit. Nobody ever invites me to get paid to shoot minorities.

What the fuck? You can do it for free. Wait, Rich. got into policing because you're like, yeah, I guess I'll try it out. My buddy said I would have fun with it. And I was like, it sounds like fun. Like everybody's watched cops and saw foot chases. It was like, that sounds like cool, you know?

That's why I got into policing. Just because it sounded fun. Yeah, I just needed a job. And like, my grandpa did it. And so I got into policing. Yeah. My buddy told me it would be fun. And I had another buddy that was in a small.

So one of my friends was in Buffalo in the city. And my other buddy was in a town adjoining. And he was like, yeah, this is great. This is great. it's kind of fun you should really enjoy it it's like a mini deployment every day you wear a vest you get a gun you get to go chase bad guys you can get foot chases you can car chases it's great and that's weird we're like really good friends now and have been for the past decade we're men we don't talk about deep shit unless we're forced to otherwise it's all about like you know our wives breasts

and butt sizes yeah this is true bro we've never talked about that before i got into policing because it was you know just the thing to do at the time i needed a job so I didn't know that you were the same way and also that you're kind of a rider that's cool as shit man yeah no shit you as a teacher dear God that would have been a blast and also could be in a terrifying yeah I feel like you'd be a mix of those

things I feel like that's an appropriate you know amalgamation of like me being an instructor Mr. Hi what raise your hand all the way is that being such a coward Quamus Poor kids Yes Why are you sitting next to the white women No I'm here

Oh No shit Jessica's pregnant already You breathed on her Go back to your roach infested friends home Well shit And you never were like Hey I'm gonna go back and finish this though

No I got in a fist fight with a dude that was hammered That stuck up or that ran from a cab and I was just like this is the best job ever you know fist fights are fun people forget that

they're kind of cool you was real you started blowing out every oh you guys I know you're good so I'm blowing it out right now

wait go talk I just started talking like this and it was okay so we're good now JD blah blah yeah I got it

I was like oh we got fine tune that one really quick there can you not do it midway no because it's 32 bit float so once it's like

going it is already over my head okay it locks it in and you can't change it once it's recording you have to stop it readjust then come back do a quick clap and now we're good ding mulligan start over no that's perfect no it's all everybody welcome to the unsubscribe podcast i'm donut operator hey hey hey yeah yeah pump the brakes real quick no yeah he's a very

different jd yeah and then we got dude Cody i didn't know you wrote that many art Yeah, I wrote several hundred articles before I started or I left policing and I wrote several hundred articles and that's when I started getting into the whole police YouTube thing because I knew how to tell a story and I did that for a minute. I wrote for a company, defunct company called Blue Lives Matter and I wrote a couple hundred articles for them and that's that's what led up to like the breaking down police footage. no shit yeah because i remember you doing your first one and that's when you were like

oh this does way better than me playing minecraft yeah yeah yeah way better than playing like c sgo or minecraft or stuff like that i just took what i what i learned from policing and i was a good storyteller and that that's how i started the whole donut operator thing what changed since then oh content's been garbage No, I'm kidding. We talked about this on the last one.

It might be out of order. But the live shows, since you were saying maybe for the two, we asked Rich, remember on Des Moines, we have the possibility of doing two shows. Oh, yeah. In one night. Yes. And it was like, hey, we'll ask Cody. And we were talking about it. And Brandon was like, I was surprised Cody said, let's sleep on it.

Nick said the same. He said yes. Yeah, I don't think I let him finish He was like, what do you think? And I just started laughing hysterically I was like, what do you fucking think? And it was, of course. Yeah, Richard's going to go all day long

on two shows and one night. I told them. We know he's going to do it. In between the shows, I'm just going to hand out shots to people so they can catch up to our level. Yeah. I'm just going to go out there

be like, you need to catch up. Hey, get drunk, get drunk. Yeah, here's a weed brownie or whatever nicotine you choose. Yeah. It's just starting. hand and stuff out. Here's five zibs. Put them in that. We're going. I got nicotine poisoning. J.D. how you've been doing, man? You've been here for two nights in a row now.

Oh, yeah. No, I love Texas, though. Yeah. I love Texas. It's a good spot. Yeah, dude, like, so, you know, I lived in Florida and Florida is a great state. The weather is great. Uh, the politics are a little more conducive to how I like to live. There's constantly adventure. You might get killed by something at any given moment. Now I live a peaceful, boring life in Oregon. But, you know, I get to be with my parents and they're not going to be here that much longer. So I'm stoked on that. But coming to Texas, Texas is kicked on being near your parents. Yes. Stoked on being near your parents. Yeah. Yeah. Not stoked that they're not going to be here. No, no, no. No. Stoked on spending the rest of their remaining time with them and all of that. But I was like, are you planning another felony? No, no. Like,

they're not going to be here for long. Oh, God. I can get it. And he's like, damn it. That sounded, that sounded bad. That sounded, hold on, hold on. Mulligan, mulligan, redo. So, uh, I love my parents. I'm not subscribed. I'm donut operator.

But yeah, no, I love Texas, man. I would like to move out here. Uh, I really dig it out here. Maybe get a spot out here in the future. Uh, because this is a cool state, man. And I keep like, I've barely been in public, but even just like walking through my, every time I walk through the hotel, somebody's like, bro it's you so i feel like texas has love for me which is cool we i mean we have so many people

that live here now nico just moved down did he yeah nico lives here now he's like 20 minutes from here nico artis yep no shit well that's rad we got uh tectone tectone oh yeah he's moving down really yeah we got we got a whole group of boys moving here now i could i could quickly get arrested for stocking asming gold i feel like that's cool Aspon? Yeah. No, he's still in Austin. Oh, that's still an ROI.

I know. Yeah. Well, it's really cool because it's like you build a good community. Community. Community. Community. You build a good group of boys and suddenly people want to hang around you and just make themselves better people, too.

Yeah. It's weird. It's like it's their destiny. Oh, God. Sondpiker. I like he drank from that That's all I got to say about our future plans I don't know everybody else got so excited

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this podcast so be sure to use the code unsub to get your discount to get your discount buy stuff the bedroom by bringing more pleasure and satisfaction to it I wish I could satisfy my partner. I'm sorry. Can you teach me? Adam and Eve can. Cody fissured me. I love that everyone does move here because it is, we don't protect any secrets.

We try to help each other as much as possible in every aspect of the business of social media. It's, hey, have you tried this? Hey, you should do this instead. Hey, can you co-lab? Hey, do you want to be on this video? Everyone just lifts each other up. which is extremely rare in the business world and then the content world. A lot of people are like, nope, fuck off.

This is mine. You're not learning any of this shit. That's how like early YouTube was as well. I talk about this on my stream sometimes. Like early YouTube, they would say, I don't want to collab with you because you're going to steal my audience. Like you're going to take my fans for me if you're doing content with me. And we just try to push each other up here in our little group that we have.

out of here. Meek Canyon. I didn't know he was Freddy Wong. He used to watch Freddy back in the day. Hunter did? Yeah, dude. Hunter loves Freddy. So we were talking, we were watching his video last night and he brought up Freddy. I was like, huh? Text Hunter. I was like, wait, do you like Freddie Wong? He's like, oh man, he's a

goat. I was like, oh, you know him? He's like, no. Do you want to meet him? He actually loves going to Vegas. Actually, we should all go to Vegas together because those two would have a fucking blast. Oh, yeah, Hunter gambling? Yeah, with Freddy gambling? Isn't Friday like a really good gambler?

Yeah. I know Hunter. And Hunter makes his fucking voices and shit. Oh, just love to be there. Motherf-f-fucking, you. I just want to sit on the blackjack table with them and just be like pump up the fucking lady that's dealing while Hunter tears her down and does his voices and then Friday's just like sitting there

card counting. Carolyn, you're killing me. Come on! When he's yelling at those. Jesus Christ, dude. Because me and me and Brandon went up there a couple weeks. ago to Vegas to put the range day stuff together and we didn't know hunter was in town and hunter just happened to be at the hotel that we were staying at so hunter comes down on the floor he's he's doing that he's at the blackjack table like come on come on it's just like yelling at the at the blackjack dealers

and stuff he's the best person to gamble with it's amazing he's just fun to be around yeah he's such a fucking cool dude hyper talented yeah people were just finding out that hunter her pop of me is meat canyon sad was telling me there was a whole trend of people some girl went viral she's like oh my god i was today years old learning that papa meat and meat canyon are the same person i just found that out right now the jose you said it with your mouth that's when i found that that holy fuck okay it makes so much sense no wonder you kept getting caught Yeah, right? I said it was a career criminal.

I didn't say it was a good one. That seriously makes me think of the Jogi thing. It's like, wait, Jogi and Pingai are the same person? Yeah, they've always been the same person. Has he come out with a new album? I don't know. He had that one where he was like running on the train,

the music video where he was like running on the train going through. I haven't seen that one. It was for one as more recent. song. I was probably like eight years old now. But he had a really good album. His last album, I think it was his last album. That was one I did not know. Like, I think you told me Joji and the pink guy were the same person. Yeah, dude, he's a YouTube OG. And he's one of the few that transitioned into actual a successful career in music. Like fully. Yeah. He's crushing the music scene or did. I don't know if he still does. He has to. Yeah. I mean, I would still go to

of shows. He's phenomenal. Who's the guy that does this sound like, please don't bring me down. I forget his name. He used to have the bowl cut and be in like the 90s. Oh, Oliver Tree. Went to one of his shows. Awesome. You went to an Oliver Tree show? Yeah, he was in Pittsburgh last year. Oh, that's a dude I would love to go see.

It was cool as fuck. Great concert. Nice, man. He came out on Nowhere too. Because he was kind of with that L.A. crowd, like the Joe G. scene. So that's, that's really cool that he blew up. You guys know all the OG YouTube lore, which is cool because I accidentally fell into YouTube. And so like, I have like very little idea of most of the people you're talking about.

But when we're talking about musicians who came up off of YouTube, uh, fucking Alex terrible. Oh yeah. Yeah. Alex. He came off of YouTube? Yeah. He was a YouTuber first. Really?

Yeah. Didn't he start out just doing. I'm talking about slaughter to Beville out. Alex. Yeah, he just started out doing covers, vocal covers on YouTube before he actually had the band. I'm friends with them too. Are you? Yeah, dude. He sends me his masks. Yeah, we have one. That's sick, dude. I love him, man. He's cool. I don't know where. I actually literally had a fan girl moment when he followed me back on Insta. I was like, like, my wife was like, you're acting like a little girl. And I'm like, I know. Yeah, all of his masks are in the background on my YouTube videos. Yeah, I've seen those. I love that dude. Oh, that's cool. That dude war maxes. I feel like he's just on. every side quest, bro, like the bare knuckle boxing, wrestling bears, raising bears. That damage? Oh, my God. Oh, yeah, the last

fight he got into? Where his nose was pressed in. He was a horrible nose. So if you if you guys don't know who Alex the terrible is, he's the lead singer of Slaughter to Beville and he's just, he's a gnarly dude and he does side quest like Eli was saying. He does bare knuckle boxing now. And God, that last fight he got in was gnarly man yeah dude he broke his

orbital his what all did he fucking crap I mean god that boy swole yeah that shit look at those lumps yeah he had like brain swelling

like all sorts of nasty shit going on but just immediately hugged the dude that he just got Womptify you know what I'm saying he put up a good ass fight CTE and you can't think good and then he fights bears he does

every like Russell's full goal grown ass bears, bro. He's raising right now. He's, he's like rehabilitating and raising baby bears right now, dog. What breed of bear?

Russian. Russian bear? I don't know. I don't know. A big giant Serbian, like bears. Like, they're nasty as fuck.

Yeah. And they're like just like chewing on his nose and shit in his Insta videos as a purr and shit. He's just laughing. No, he's cool as like I hit him a couple years ago. And I was like, hey, man,

I really like, I like your music. Like, I listen to it in the gym because it's like, you know, exactly why you probably wear it, you gnarly motherfucker. But he hit me back and he was like, hey,

can I send you some of my masks? And I was like, yeah, dude, just that would be amazing. And he's, he's just a really cool guy. Yeah,

super humble, super chill. Like his mask, do you hear what happened to his mask factory? No. So like, mask factory? Yeah.

So he has a, he has this business where he makes these masks, the slaughter to prevail masks. And, there in Russia and in like a little village and shit and the roof caved in and collapsed one of the walls so his whole production for his mask company yeah is just trashed right now so he was like he had so many people supporting him by ordering masks and he had to come out and go hey I turned off the orders I'm sorry I love you guys thank you for supporting me but I don't want to like

have this be a thing where I can't get them to you in a timely fashion thank you for the support and everything because he's just that dude man Yeah. He seems like a fucking awesome guy. And also, he loves a berserk. He sent me one of his berserk masks that I still need to give you. No, you gave it to me. Oh, I gave you the berserk mask?

Yeah, I think so. It's the black one. Yeah, the white. Yeah, yep, yep, 100%. Yeah, I appreciate that. I love the new album, too. He's got that song, Lift that shit. Do not be a f***.

And you just, do not be a fucking. do not be like I said that's my gym jam that's the gym shit bro you know what I'm saying that's his gym shit too if I don't deadlift this

I'm fucking gay I'm listening to him just fucking blare in the background yeah I listen to EDM when I work out like I like to dance in between lifts I can I could see

I've got the mental image of that it moved a little bit to the left when you said that just saying I'm all about his motivational speeches is the entire time I lived. I'm like, yeah, has some interstellar soundtrack

with just people telling me I'm a piece of shit and I needed to do better. I'm like, oh, yeah, I am. I was, so roll your eyes. I did CrossFit for a while. And I liked it, right? It was a good time. But it was like a really positive atmosphere.

And so the coach is there when you're like doing like the annual competitions and stuff like that, they're like motivating you. And because it's, you know, a positive community, they're like, come on, Rich, one more. you can do it. And I told my one coach, Lindsay, who's a gangster, I was like, Lindsay, don't ever give me positive affirmations when I'm lifting.

I go, the one thing I want you to say is nobody cares that you're tired. Tell me that. Tell me nobody cares that you're tired. Tell me, don't be a bitch. I go, say stuff like that. Just nobody cares. Just to say, nobody cares that you're tired. Everyone else is finished.

Yeah, everybody else is going to beat you. you're better than this stop stop have ass I go don't don't be like you can do it I go I hate that shit it doesn't motivate me at all it makes me feel like what I'm doing is enough and that's not it

tell me that I suck you know I'll be like you do better you know then I'll we're good she's like I'll try you're ugly what the fuck my mouth is to look

gooder when I got out of prison one of the first jobs that I got was being a personal trainer at Gold's Gym, right? And I was training people that wanted to do bodybuilding competitions. One of the people was, it was a couple, and they were doing the 50 and over, right? And they were super nice people, but the lady needed positive affirmation. And I, for some reason, just decided that wasn't going to work for the dude.

So I wrote this dude so hard, bro. I wrote him like, it was a ditty party hard. I'd be like standing over and going, this is why your wife doesn't, look at you anymore lift that shit what the fuck is wrong you're pathetic you're not a man but you do it bro and they short got shorter they both took the comp bro they both ended up with gold for the over 50 no shit category yeah and i was so proud of them both they were bad ass for that a lot of the times all it takes is that just call them a piece of shit or tell them to they're not doing it i had one client he would not listen and he came in he was overweight by two

pounds of where he was supposed to be. No, four pounds. And I remember he got off the school. He's like, you know what that stuff happens. I was like, I'm going to fire you as my client. I'm letting you know that. I'm not going to have you walk around and say, who trained you? Oh, Eli trained you.

It's like, fuck off. This is going to be the last three sessions once this runs out unless you make changes. No, I'm not joking. I was like you take, you just fuck off. You don't follow any of the meal plans. You do jack and shit. Barely push yourself in here. So after this, we'll just knock out the sessions.

We'll get through it. that dude next like two gym sessions wouldn't talk to me you'd just be like feelings were hurt month later he's down 20 pounds I was like holy shit he's like that pissed me off thank you but holy shit bro piss me the fuck off spite is a hell of a motorator it's like I'll be shit

it's so cool to get paid to talk bad to people like if I could do that it's like I think I feel like it's like If you're a personal trainer or you're a drill instructor, those are the two occupations where you could just get paid to just thoroughly degrade and debase people, like on the most savage level, and it's totally acceptable.

Anywhere else you're like a fucking bully. Yeah. I just call it giving them their daily dose of reality. I don't see why you have to put such a negative spin on it. Okay, so, but what is the end result when you bully people? You make them better. Or they can themselves. Then they're a fucking bird.

Then they are. up yeah that you're just standing over his dead body I told you aren't you your feelings he just like resuscitate him so he comes back get up repeat here look you fell at that also you can't die right get up

that's a heavy part that I take in my working out too where I'm like my family's gonna die if I don't lift this right now I have to go harder that came from like Being in the military and doing the police stuff, it's like, you're fucking, you don't do this right now. Which I'm happy that happened. I didn't fucking fuck myself.

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Just head over to harries.com slash unsub to receive our exclusive discount. And after your purchase, they're going to ask you how you heard about them. Tell them the uncivil army showed up. So get that nice clean cut today. I got to do the drill section stuff in a week. And so I'm running because I don't run a lot. You know, I'll do some sprints. You know, it's running's not my bag.

I like lifting heavy things. So I know I'm going to have to train privates to, and we're going to do PT and I'm going to run with them. It is what it is. So I've been running more and more, especially this month. And I just write notes to myself on the fridge. and it's like it's literally don't be fat don't be a shitty drill sergeant

and then my wife will be like why are you writing that on the wall like why do you keep like focusing on like I gotta go to the gym today I got to go to the gym tomorrow I got to run tomorrow I'm like because you don't nobody respects a fat drill sergeant

nobody's gonna be like oh I'm afraid of that guy is like oh I'm running one mile I will say this though I have like dry heaved while I've run with privates and like spit up a little bit And I'm like, whoa, where the demon's out?

Because then you get like that natural high because all of your endorsements just went flushing as you as you vomited. Like I've done that before and I've motivated some troops where they're like seen me like, and then I just keep going. And they're like, oh, he is a god. He kept going even though he vomited. And he's still screaming.

He didn't stop any of it either. I don't know how to fuck with him. You look them in the face and vomit. While you're looking at them. Don't look at me. Don't look at me. As I'm staring through them, like, I can't look away. He's a monster.

What the fuck? He saw the fluids come out. I feel like can we run like political campaigns like a drill sergeant or a personal trainer just thoroughly berating the other person and degrading, just bullying the ever-loving dog shit out of him? Like, Tony, could we do it? Have you met Brandon Herrera? You know what?

I'm so fucking proud of him for jumping back in, bro. It is about time a YouTuber ended up in an actual position of power. And there's no one I would want to see besides him. Because we've had someone else attempt before. And I'm, I mean, multiple times. Like, she just got a train ran on her with her failures. You might know her. Oh, Laura Lumer.

Laura Lumer. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. She's very bad at her job. And life in general. she's bad at being a person she doesn't look like one she made fun of a medal of honor recipient i don't know if you knew that she talked shit about a metal of honor recipient on the internet i did not enjoy that uh she has she served our country i think she serviced a lot of men

uh that run our country you know it's funny with her mouth i actually saw um i was looking through a hundred biden's laptop and i saw pictures of her actually pegging tony gonzalez in a gay bath house i believe did you know that tony gonzalez moans when he wipes at least he people have said this and he won't he won't address the allegations i've heard that as well so i mean i like i haven't actually witnessed it but you know when multiple people are saying something it does grant clearance there's a there is a ring of truth in it yeah there's a o ring of truth in that he he eats corn the wrong way the long way yeah he eats bananas for the shape not the taste yeah dude did you know that tony likes to have hot dog tasting competitions and he judges them all on mouthfield

for those you at home we're insinuating that he's a homer sexual yeah he loves the simpsons he's snicker bars upside down just for the vainy so he can feel the vein on his tongue yeah oh i hate that way more i just like the texture licking the vainy side he's like oh this is so much better than a chaco taco oh oh get it because a taco is like a vagina okay that was good i just picture him opening the snickers turning upside down but oh the vain that's the good The good side? That's the good side.

Why are you licking it? It's not ice cream. Don't go back in your bedroom, son. Don't look at Daddy when he eats his delicious treats. I'm just, I'm curious what he's going to use against Brandon the next time. I don't, because he tried that veteran shit,

which was fucking hysterical. Because you, you and I and Brandon had just left a panel. Yes. where we were like we were talking to people how like to talk to your buddies and how to not to not in this yeah prevention panel and then hey this is how we talk or this is as cody says it's reaching out call your homies have those conversations but and then immediately brandon had that joke because he opened for it and he didn't say the joke and i told him hey you should tell the joke

to the podcast though because i found it fucking hilarious and then that one clip is because it was we were sitting there and I talked about it last night it was at shot show yep right and um meat canyon was with us on that podcast yep and everyone like we all told Brandon it's like maybe don't say that during the panel because he said it was like when I I am an honorary veteran because sometimes I think about putting a gun in my mouth too yeah I was like I think it's tasteful so we so we said like yeah like maybe like maybe not say that one, but he just recited it to us while we were doing the podcast later that day. And that's what Tony took and, like, ran it on ads all over, all over San Antonio.

And you have all the veterans laughing in that. We were laughing our asses off at that one, because, like, Zach was there. Like, he's a combat veteran. You're a combat veteran. Like, Rich, you were on that one? Were you there on that one? I don't know. He wasn't, he wasn't there for that one. It was like Meek Canyon and it was you and me and we had Zach, Bill like a veteran with a sign there. Oh yeah, yep, yep, yep. And so everyone

thought it was a hilarious joke, but we were joking, like, you, like, good job not telling that one. But me and Brandon were sitting at the Texas Roadhouse here and we like looked up at the TV and it was Brandon telling that joke and it was like, Tony

Gonzalez says that Brandon hates veterans. The dude who spends all his time with veterans. I was like, I was on that podcast. What the fuck? The dude who gets relentlessly bullied by all of his veteran friends and we literally you guys stick purple hearts up his ass when he's not looking. Yeah, it's like we raise, I don't know. Hates him.

He can't stand them. Be lie, we raise hundreds of thousands of dollars a year to help the veteran community. But, you know, what, you know, Brandon hates veterans. It's whatever. Yeah, you're putting money in their pockets. So then they do more heroin. You need bastards. You should just let him die in the street.

Like the savages they are I wonder It'll be interesting To see what approach he takes This time because I know He hated it last time So I wonder if he even tries Going on the offensive

He was like Brandon's cool I would probably start that route If I were him Brandon like you guys lay hate I'm like you know what Brandon's a good guy I hope the best for him this run Don't give him tips here

I'd be like please don't And it's Kill me right now And instead he decided He chose to post the word retard like he's so edgy it's like when you're it's like when like the mormon kid swears in front of you you're like michael that's not one of your words stop trying to pretend like you're cool your first time cursing yeah did i sent you that video i don't i don't think

i sent rich you remember that video is it the mormons that do soaking or is that the jove's witnesses that's a mormon's so okay that's that's weird yeah that's weird do you guys know what soaking is. Let's talk about it. Okay, so I've spent a lot of time in Salt Lake City for obvious reasons. Eli, you have as well. Yes, yes, I have. Soaking is when you put yourself inside of a woman and then you're, it just stays there. It's just there, right? That's the thing. Because it's the movement that God can see. If you're not moving, God can't see it. God is It's a rex. Anipotent God.

It's like, I found a way around his vision. Yeah, that's what I love. But you can actually have a friend. Your friend, stomp on the bed. It's kind of like the shoe pump,

but it's like the vanilla version of the shoe pump. Yeah, when you're soaking, yeah, when you're soaking, a friend can shake the bed, right? Yeah. Yeah.

So the shoe pump is when you are inside a woman and your buddy stomps on your ass to give you more motion. So it's kind of like, I enjoyed both of your description, but when Eli made a face, he's just like, oh, you're just going to cheat unipotent God? And he's like this and like pretending that he was God with his eyes closed, like, God can't see that. I immediately thought that you were going to do like an Asian god voice. Oh, that got me this time. All these slippery humans can't see this.

Hey, angel, where are you at? Hey, hey, Adam. It's not Adam and Stevie or no. fucking sin uh am i right okay i knew i should have this is why i hold back msg for so wrong no when you do it it's racist no one of that seems high you can say that okay yeah why the bed's shaking

i can't see this oh no how come my sons and daughters all coming at the same time even though they're not helping one another oh well i guess it better forget give it next time i'm Asian god not at all very stereotypical Adam, what's up? Okay, are you happy? I need a woman or a partner.

Oh, my God. Okay, give me a rib. Okay, there you go. And boom, have fun with it. You're so... Adam, you're so needy. Yeah. Oh, Al, you're so needy.

Don't trust a woman. I said a snake. She failed for that. No one will fall for the snake trick. Adam, you don't know the rib. I want to make short ribs. They're so good. Asian

Adam You ever have your own short rib Come here He took two He just I need two ribs I need He just used one

And he tasted the other He's like Oh that's delicious Okay Gonna send that down Okay What he's like Ancient God

Aging God takes one From Adam He's like Okay I make the woman Oh I mean one more To even it out Oh

The rich are so good Oh, Adam short ribs so delicious That's how Korean barbecue came around Do you ever struggle With tiny toilet tree bottles No Well, with Mando Struggle no more

I would not want to spread Whole Body deodorant on you Nick It's gonna get old clumpy in my chest hair It looks like I've been rolling around It mashed potatoes How well does it lubricate It's developed by a doctrine It works for 72 hours, show some respect

I'm gonna tell that to everyone at the Magic the Gathering tournament. I wish I was there when they figured out that it wasn't good for 73 hours. I like to imagine just a fat guy on a treadmill for 72 hours straight. He's turned. Time to shower finally.

Fatty curdled. Thanks to Mando. It's also named after Mount Fuji. Really? Mine's bourbon and leather. Because I'm a Mando. Jesus Christ. Couldn't even get through an ad without a pun. What?

Do you want to sell the deodorant? or not, Brandon. I'm just waiting for the sweet release of death. It's not going to come for at least 72 hours. Listen, we did a lot of meet and greets during the live tour. Y'all motherfuckers could use some man, though. For a strong, independent woman, you can do everything a man can do. He can still use some man, though. Our tent to Nick dead. The cops are coming. We've got 72 hours to hide the body before it starts to smell. Actually does smell pretty damn good. This one smells like the body wash smells actually really good. I have bourbon leather. Anybody find the body? No, but that over there smells delicious there's no way there's a body over there you said we can ad lib jokes on

you we're into that this isn't your average deodorant or antiperspirant you can try mandel's starter pack it's perfect it comes with absolutely everything stick deodorant cream deodorant two free products of your choice like a mini body wash or deodorant wipes and free shipping as a special offers you'll get 20% off site wide with our exclusive code on sub that's code unsub over at shopmando.com so the warmans have soaking and christians use the the back passage because god can't see anal so anal's not a sin and the catholics just do choir boys right is that how that works no it was uh the thing was young christian girls would save they would they wouldn't lose their virginity so they do it in the back door yeah and also it's

it for because it wouldn't get them pregnant yeah oh yeah that's true it was like they would still have like their vaginal virginity and they wouldn't be able to get pregnant. So there was like a time like when I was growing up when that was like the thing. I heard choir boys don't get pregnant either for the Catholics out there. It depends on which, you know, church you go to. It's evangelical. You got a little, you know, a lot of transitioning.

Yeah. Oh, God. Yeah. It's a new world today. Like, fuck. Okay. Since we have you boys on the podcast, I know the story, how I got him out of prison. Yes.

Yeah. Yeah. I want to hear that story. Jail, well, yeah. Yeah. Okay, so you guys, I had a 12-year-old DUI charge. Oh, God. That was I thought that was going somewhere else there.

What did I sign a letter for? Rich's mind quickly slips into Phaelio. You're like 12-year-old. I'm over here like, what the fuck? So I have this charge. It was literally from the end of 2013. I got a DUI for marijuana. And then I shortly after that, I was facing,

a lot of bigger charges in the state of Oregon they wanted like 10 years in prison and I was like I don't want to do that I'm just going to go to Florida and evade prosecution it seemed like a great idea at the time I was there for 10 years I recently moved back to Oregon after I was able to get all my shit resolved in Florida and Oregon stopped prosecuting UUMVs which is what I was facing it's unauthorized use of a motor vehicle so you could steal cars in Oregon they don't care by way, just so you know, they're not going to prosecute you. No, it did. So I put in a motion from Florida to have my charges drop so I could move back to Oregon.

And the prosecutor that put me in prison when I went in 2009 was the judge who signed off on, yeah, cool, we'll drop all these charges. So thank you, Deborah Vaux. Appreciate you, Your Honor. And so I was able to move back, but I still had this warrant because I had probation for a DUI that I never finished. and in fact I like immediately fucked up like I immediately violated I was crusty back then it was a bad deal I was not acting like an adult not handling my responsibilities and nowadays I like to handle my responsibilities as head on as humanly possible so I knew that I had to clear this up and so I went and I got a lawyer and I asked the lawyer like so what do I do I need to pay a fine because in Florida you can basically buy your way out of anything I don't know if it's like that here in Texas, but as, I mean, as long as you don't get a kid or beat up an elderly person in Florida, if you throw some money at it, get a good enough attorney, they're like, hey, we got you. But, um, especially something like a PV or something, you know, like, well, we'll get you reinstated or whatever. I'm thinking it's, it's probably not going to be a big deal. But he's like, no, this prosecutor wants incarceration. And I'm like, well, you know, I did the f*** dumb shit. I bought the ticket. I have to ride the ride. You know, I won the stupid. I played the stupid. I played the stupid.

game. So here's my prize. I got to go back into jail for a while. And I'm like, it's any, he was like, it's anywhere from 30 days to a year. And I was like, all right, well, how can we try to get it closer to the 30 days than the year? Because I'm going to take accountability for my actions, but I'd super like to not spend a year in county jail right now. That doesn't sound all that awesome. And so he was like, well, you know, let's get all of your, because I have done copious amounts of treatment. I've done, you know, inpatient treatment. I've done outpatient treatment. I've done intensive outpatient treatment, you know, in the standard. I did, you know, a full sober living six-month program where I'm, you know, living there, but, you know, outworking every

day. And, you know, I managed those places. I interned. And, you know, he's like, bring everything, bring information about your recovery coaching company and bring me letters of, of character reference. And this is where Cody is going to say that I'm name dropping because I'm going to, I'm blessed, dude. I had people that stuck up for me.

And it's not that I'm trying to name drop as much as I never in my life would have thought that I would have these types of people. And actually writing letters of my character, dude. Like, because like I still see myself kind of like, I still see my past and my reflection. And,

you know, there's still, I'm still working on that letting that part of me go. because I still feel like I've got stuff to make up for. Like I damaged multiple communities for 20 years. So I still feel the weight of that on my shoulders. And I do everything I can every day to like bring good into the world to balance those scales. Maybe someday I'll feel like I've made up for that, but I'm not there yet.

I'm working on getting there. Yeah. I sold Jelly Roll. Yeah. So Jelly Rolls over here. His wife Bunny, they wrote me letters and character reference. Chris Hansen and this guy right here. Also, sheriffs from across the country, in particular, my good friend, Sheriff John Staley,

out of Lono County, Arkansas, amazing dude, because I go into prisons and I speak to inmates when they're at a low moment. I go into treatment centers. I had treatment professionals, write me letters. But out of all of these letters, wait, so you were looking at a county year, right? Yeah, a county year was the max. So the county year was the max. You just finished probation, didn't you?

I had just finished my probation out of Florida. I had two years of house arrest and two years of probation, flying colors, no violations, not a single wag of the finger even. Just absolutely followed it to the letter, went above and beyond. In fact, my PO in Florida was like, please stop calling me about every little fucking thing. And I'm like, making sure I'm in compliance. And she's like, you're in too much compliance, dude. So, but, you know, that's what I felt like I needed to do.

to be able to make it through. I don't know how to live like a normal motherfucker at this point in my life. I'm still figuring it out, you know, but like law abiding was not something I was super good at.

So, you know, I wanted to make sure what I was doing was what I was supposed to be doing because I was taking it seriously. I was given a blessing. And every time you're given a blessing or really it was grace.

It was grace beyond what I earned or deserved. So I wanted to respect that by following it by the letter. It was important to me because every time I've disrespected a blessing, saying, God slaps the shit out of me. And dude got hands, homie. You know what I'm saying?

Kept up. Do not like it. Just slap the shit. J. D. A guy. Give him an inch. He take a mile.

Out of all of those letters. Why he keep doing this. Out of letters from. Oh, my me. Why does J.D. keep fucking up. Out of all of those letters when I went to, so I go to court and I, I meet with my lawyer outside the courtroom and he's like, you ready to go in today?

And I'm like, I'm ready to go in. Let's go handle. business. This is the last thing I have to do. This is literally out of 20 years of being a degenerate drug addict career criminal. This is the last thing that I have to pay off. This is my last debt to society, my last criminal anything to deal with. And I'm like, let's go. I'm excited at this point. Like I'm, I've got three pairs of underwear on because if you go into the county jail wearing three pairs of white underwear, they let you keep them and they don't give you underwear when you go in there. They just give you a jumpsuit. I've got my white t-shirt on.

Did not know that. It's interesting. Certain counties, they let you do that. And I'm ready to go. I've got like 2K in my pocket for my canteen. I'm going to get fat kid in there. You know what I'm saying? Just work out, read and eat. And we walk in the courtroom and he's like, that's a different prosecutor. He's like, hold on. He goes and talks to the prosecutor. And the prosecutor's like, he comes back. He's like, the prosecutor knows you from your content and feels like it would be a waste of time and resources to put you in jail when you could be out here continuing to do what you do. so he wants you to uh he wants to give you community service but his one ask is that you talk about this in a way that shows what taking accountability for your actions can do for you and i'm like accountability is my whole entire fucking thing you know like that's hugely important to me that's something i live by and he's like cool it's still up to the judge so we got to sell this to the judge and the judge like the prosecutor goes hard for me than any paid attorney I've ever had trying to convince this judge that I should get community

service. It was incredible. That dude went above that dude. And the judge is like, I'm going to read these letters. And there's a lot of them. And he's looking through him. He's scrolling through these letters. And I mentioned those other people because out of all of those letters, the letter he stops on, he's like, I want to read a quote out of this letter. And he starts reading Rich's letter. And he's like, And this is coming from an SVU detective, which shows that this man has made serious life changes. I'm going to agree with the prosecutor on this. And I'm going to give you the community service. You had a jump out boy.

Yeah. Yeah. And my wife's going hard for you. My wife's in the courtroom behind me and she's crying. That woman is a saint. And this is like the fifth time she's had to go to a courtroom. And maybe I come home. Maybe I don't.

and she's you know just rode out with me through all of this and she is not a criminal she's never been a criminal never been a drug addict she's just a rider-ass trad wife you know she's just the shit like literally the best i would not be here today if it wasn't for her i'm convinced of that um and i get to walk out on my own two feet ready to go to jail i get to walk out the only thing that he read out loud was rich's letter so thank you man i haven't gotten to thank you person. I appreciate it. All of that, I know that you didn't go into a career as, you know, an English major, but you definitely helped me. So I feel like that three and a half years you spent in college, it did something good. Right here, I'm sitting. Cool. Yeah. I didn't have to eat

top ramen and cream baloney. Now let me tell you what really happened. I get a call one day from JD and I look at my phone. I'm like, oh, JD's calling me. That's fine. fucking cool because we've been bullshitting back and forth and talking about some you know like content hey you want to come on my thing yeah I'll come on your thing have probably coming on things that's not the way I should have described it guys are doing great with what's verbiage today yeah right so you're talking about your prison friend yeah so uh my wife's just like who's calling my oh it's jd what's going on and I get up from the couch and I'm like hey dude what's going he's like hey I have a massive favor and I feel uncomfortable asking you

about it you don't have to do it this is just to request. He was very nice. You're very nice about it. He was really trying to take the pressure off of me. And he's like I got picked up for an old DUI and I'm looking at spending an account a year. Like that's the max.

I'm just wondering, you can say no. I was like, oh, do you need me to write a character letter for you? He's like, can you do that? And I was like, fuck yeah, dude. You know any people I put in jail? I can take one out? Yeah, that's fair trade. Absolutely. And so, I went to work like the next day. And I

sat down and I was just like whew your dearest judge JD Delay is a handsome beautiful man who has served his time with the community and has assisted others in their time in, out, and recovering from prison life

and then I and then I creamed it up with all the stuff that you want to hear as a Buffalo Police special victims unit detective formerly attached to the FBI Safe Streets program hunting violent gang members and seeing the effects the drugs have had in the community.

I think that I kept it short and simple. Yeah. In church, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I put enough people in jail. I think I can get one guy out.

And then he called me up and he goes, dude, he read your letter out loud. I started jumping up and down. And I was like, I was like, of course it. God has a good sense of humor. And so, of course, you know, I put in my letter and It's the guy reads mine. And then, yeah, he got off scoffrey. Didn't learn a thing.

Sir, I've done 22 hours of my community service. 22 hours. I had to do more for my disorderly conduct. I have to do 80 altogether. I have to do 60 something. Really? Yeah. Oh, I love that.

God, we were talking about last night about officer discretion. It's like, sometimes you don't have to, you know, be an asshole to criminals. Yeah. And you're this like, you're a super nice guy just writing this letter for JD. Yeah.

That's awesome, man. I was glad I got out of them out. I was glad that you called me. Yeah. That made me happy that you called me. I was like, cool. Well,

you know, like I don't ever want to ask somebody to vouch for me. Like, especially, you know my past. You know my history. But me and you are friends. And I think you know that I'm not going to take

advantage of it and go out and do damage to the community. I feel like you at this point know me well enough to know that if you, if you help me swerve a county year, I'm not going to be out like murdering ladies or anything like that. Might be murdering that butthole, but, you know, that's different. My butthole. Or, or, you know, Mormon butthole because God cannot see it. Oh, my God.

J.D. DeLay is gone. I cannot see him while he inside another person's butthole. That's where I should hide if the SWAT team ever comes for me again. I love Tony's butthole. One of my favorite stories that you talked about, the first time when we met was like, you're like, yeah, I hit a pile of clothes. And I was like, that's why I jump on piles of clothes when I used to search houses. Yeah.

That's what, yeah, I wanted to refer. That, those are other topics because it was like, oh, man, from each, we get, we get to break down both sides. It's like your worst chase or favorite chase. Well, I don't know how to say that for you. The one that ended the best for me. Yeah, yeah, which chase is that? Because it went like, you guys breaking that down. And then vice versa, your guys is like, oh, that.

this chase sucked or this chase was dope but here's x y and z oh dude's that hide behind doors i broke a guy's nose one time because i just pushed the door in as hard as i could because they teach you that you're going to clear the back of the door as hard as you can because people try to hide behind doors oh yeah and so just hit it as hard as you can oh you're just hearing oh and you're like found him oh marco hey uh brandon do you have cash app brandon i asked you a fucking question. No, Eli, what's that? Do you have cash app, Brandon? How did you do that? Brandon, anything's possible when you use cash app. Okay. Moving money should be easy. Brandon, that's why there's cash app. Wow, this is really easy to use. I have it now. Don't hit me again.

Catchup is fast, safe, and way more personalized than the other apps out there. No extra hoops to jump through, no extra stress. All the tools are right there to help you cash in. Sending money through cash app actually feels safe and secure. If something seems sketchier, there's like red flags that you might be sending your money to a scammer, they let you know. They'll give you a warning and make you think twice before hitting send. It's like having a bodyguard for your cash. Send your bunny some money with the eggplant emoji. My favorite.

Make his friends. Think twice. Brandon, what are these three drops of water and an eggplant mean? It's a tip for good service. I like tips. Just a tip. Just the tip. And for whatever reason, if you don't have...

Have Cash App, just head over to your phone app store and download it today and use code on sub 10. And if you send $5 to a friend, you'll get $10 deposited in your account just for getting started. Send Brandon $5. His number is three. No, no, no, no. New cash app users can use our exclusive code to earn some additional cash. legit for reals? No catch.

Just download Cash app and use our code unsubten. Send $5 to a friend within 14 days. And you'll get $10 dropped right into your account. That's money. That's cash app. My favorite thing to do, tell me if you've fallen for this before. I'll just go into like a building and I'm like, bro, I see you. Show me your fucking hands and come out.

And I'll say it like two or three. I'm like, dude, I'm serious. I'm not, don't make me come in there and get you. Come out with your hands up. I can see you. And they'll be like, damn it. And I'll be like, oh, sweet. Got him.

Got you. You know? Didn't see shit. you just cock-bocked yourself on the next time you try that I thought I saw a dude one time I did not I said it and I was looking at the area

where I thought I saw him dude came out of another area I was like oh fuck yeah I knew you were there get out of grass how many how many are in here well it's like I talk about all the time like policing really is just like daycare

it's adult daycare so it's like Eli when you're playing hide and go seek with your kid like rich was just talking about just like i see you and they go yeah you got me it's like i didn't but you bro and imagine being a correctional officer because that really is adult daycare yeah you know what i'm saying like that's like like 100 percent i've talked i've sat and chopped it up with ceos and they're like yeah i mean i'm basically a babysitter bro i'm a babysitter for grown ass

men who all are trying to prove they have the biggest dick and it's true yeah It's true. There's so many people in prison with complexes, bro, like everybody in prison is, is, has some sort of mental illness. There's, as my friend Grady Judd would say, there's a hitch in their giddy up somewhere. I realized that at some, a certain point, I realized that like most of the 99% of the people I knew were just kids that got traumatized as a kid, didn't know how to process it, didn't know how to properly place it, never got therapy, including my fucking self. And so we ended up acting out and our development. stopped because of the trauma and then we continued to atrophy our development with numbing out because we couldn't handle our feelings and then you get to prison and everybody's just trying to prove that they're Billy badass you know yeah did you drop Grady Judd's name down there sure of Grady Judd somewhere down there somewhere down there friend Grady Judd somewhere down there but yeah that's one of my favorite saying so I love it when he says there's a hitching here's giddy up that shit's great the sister cowboy

thing to say it is dude it is the florida sheriffs are like wild west sheriffs dude him and chitwood and then the the dude from lee county what's his name Marcino which one's the guy that has the photos and he likes he loves the photos that he's great judge yeah okay

that you did the tictock with this is illegal yeah dude I've face pumped so hard when I saw that I was like what in a good way I was like what the fuck is happening what world am I living in bro his social media person she is fire bro she's like

I have the perfect TikTok trend for you guys. She thought of it. Yeah. Oh, that's. And so he's like, me and him are both lip syncing to this song. Hello, it's nice to meet you. And he's like, am I doing this right? This feels weird.

I feel, I don't feel right doing this. And she's like, you nailed it. And I'm like, I don't even remember the lines. Yeah. That shit popped off. Is this illegal? Yeah. It feels illegal.

Two weeks of just like, JD's a Nazi bootlicker in my comments. I'm like, thank you for upping my engagement. Talk more about my not an alligator alcatraz shirt and make my sales go higher. Dude. I have a Florida around and find out shirt that has nothing to do with alligator alcatraz. Since I joined Bunker Branding, is that name dropping too? But since I joined Bunker Branding, tell me more about this. We planned this shit up.

It's okay if it's advertising for us. So I plan this out like two months ahead of time for a shirt just with an alligator holding an assault rifle with a fucking bulletproof vest on and in the background, there's like palm trees and a Florida ghetto. And it says Florida around and find out, I'm just a very Florida centric person, dude. I spent a decade there. I have an alligator tattooed on the side of my head. I fuck with the swamp puppies, dog. They're my, they're my people. And so it ends up dropping the day that I fly out to Florida so that we just, we just timed it like that. We're like, I'm flying in on the first and we're doing a new drop on the first. Let's do

the Florida round and find out shirt. It's been out for, we've thought about this months ago. It just happened to be the day that they opened Alligator Alcatraz and it's all over the news and everybody's like, he's a Nazi and it's a concentration camp. And like, I also fed into it a little bit like just comparing how the treatment in Alligator Alcatraz is compared to how we treat people all around the country in any sort of incarcerated situation. Like, I'm like, look, these is

where they're, they're, the, the living quarters for them. This is a normal dorm setting. There's three toilets. The sinks are on the toilets, which is something that, God, what the fuck was her in it? Debbie Wasserman Schwartz was freaking out. They shit and drink in the same place.

You dumb ass performative, have you never seen what, that's inmate standards. That's, your sink is on top of your toilet. She's like, it's so degrading and dehumanizing the way we're treating them. Like, their mattresses are fucking this thick, homie. Like, we got like that. You know what I'm saying? Like, it was so crazy all of the performative bullshit going on.

And I was just like, look, this is just normal. This is what we do. And then there was a rumor that somebody did a video with pictures of incinerators. And they're like showing trash incinerators that aren't on site at Alligator Alcatraz. And there was a TikTok rumor that somebody's cousin said that, her friend was contracted to install these at alligator alcatraz and so they're everybody's like they're burning illegals and I'm like first off you can't burn a body in those like that's literally a trash incinerator like what we've tried talking about yeah absolutely it does not work yeah

you got to put them back in there cut up the limbs it's just a mess like if you want to talk about how we treat people when they're incarcerated in this country cool but let's do it across the board and not just make it about what fits this this narrative you know what i'm saying because there's things we probably could like do better as far as incarcerating people i don't think the conditions need to be worked on too much in the majority of places i think what we need to do is start focusing more on rehabilitation rehabilitation and uh i think that like if you have inmates in a minimum custody facility i feel like that's a waste bro put them on community control put them in house arrest so they're working they're working towards building you know their future and all of that at least make it an open option for that to be able to be a thing they're paying taxes instead of just taking up tax dollars sitting in some fucking minimum custody thing when you're in minimum you're a few years to the gate anyway let them spend that time doing something productive instead of being a drain like i always told myself when i'm in prison i'm literally on welfare right now

now like i'm taking up people's tax dollars this sucks this is stupid i'm a piece of shit for this let let them give back to society and save imprisoning people for people that just can't be trusted in society and honestly if you can't be trusted in society there's some things that with proper rehabilitation you might be able to come back from and there's other things that you can't and if you are not somebody that can be rehabilitated we should not be wasting tax dollars on keeping you breathing. There's a very, there are very cost-effective ways to just handle the situation, chalk you up as a fucking loss. If you fucking kid, bro, we shouldn't be like, oh, well, you know, when he comes out in six months, he's going to not do this again. Well, you know,

statistically he is. Uh, you know, somebody who goes in and does a school shooting. Why the fuck do you get the chance to come out and do that again? Fuck that. We shouldn't pay for your three hots and a cot when we can just do the, you know, rope is super, eco-friendly and you could reuse that bitch a lot a lot rich i got to ask you buddy ask me how do we solve the problem with do you do you think we should have public hangings like back in the day like cowboy days so you remember they they used to have like everyone to come from everywhere and they would sit there and they would have a picnic and they would like watch the public hangings I think it should be put on like PBS

I think I think if you have a like Don't Trump cancel that Do we still have PBS? Yeah but we can make a pay-per-view Yeah that's what I was thinking Give it to Dana White bro Now it's paying for itself And you get to see like

Will you be my neighbor Just after Mr. Rogers The public execution It's door the explorer Can you say execution execution bring back gladiator shit bro

just arm oh yeah we were talking about that last night dude arm one chomo with a fucking broadsword and another one with a mace and whichever one comes out on top we're so gonna kill you know execution just a double tap to the back of the dome

I like the pay-per-view idea now that I said it I like I like the state run television pay-per-view of like an execution of like somebody that murdered somebody or school shooter or the, like the Boston bombers. Yeah.

Oh, and the money goes towards a charity. Sure. Absolutely. Taxes. I mean, honestly. Yvaldi goes to like the survivors of Yvaldi.

Yeah. I love the... I mean, Texas Zaps people, too. So you can make a lot of money. Oh, we did just get into shooting people too. South Carolina just executed a guy by shooting. Firing squad, yeah. Mormon or...

It's like Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses to some of them are like, they can't put anything inside their body and stuff like. like that, so they'll be like, yeah, the firewood squad, I'm good to go with that. Yeah, just, could you just, uh, blast me in the chest with some 30 odd six? That's what I wouldn't be like, but they can so in the chest. They can, they can soak though. They can put things inside. Yeah.

Well, yeah, they're, they're bullet soaking is what they're doing. Shake the rifle. What we were discussing on the other show that we did was, uh, like Trump is a businessman, right? There's a way to sell this to him as a businessman, be like, Like, hey, imagine the pay-per-view sales. Put Dana White in charge of this shit. I see it. You know what I'm saying?

I'm seeing it. And you want to get the deficit handled? Boom. We can do that. I like the charity idea. But if you're actually going to sell it to somebody who can get that shit done, make it make sense business-wise. Illegals.

We ship them off, but they have to do like that Asian show where they had to run across stuff. Oh, it's the squid game. No. No, no, God, no, that's a squid game. What is the game called? Oh, Takedisha's Castle? Yes, Takedisha's Castle. Tukisha. Tukashi.

Is it Tekisha, Takashi? Okay, Takeshi's Passel. Yeah, where they have to, like, run across the obstacles and, like, fall in the water. And if you're like, oh, no, you know, remember when they would dub it really poorly? Oh, yeah. Those are my favorites. I love those. We do that for illegal immigration.

If you make it, get to stay. If you don't, you're out of here. And it's the fun ways. And make that paper, you know, put that on a television show. You'll have endless amounts of. of entertainment for years. Yeah, there's no violence on it. It is funny as hell.

You split it up, so it's not just a bunch of Mexican and brown people. It's not hunger games. You're like, they die. I want 5,000 people to try out, and I want one to live, and he gets the citizenship. Like, brutal. Damn. So, I mean, but here's the thing is that, like, they're super focusing on just the brown people that are getting deported.

Brothers whites? I know there is. I know, I've seen, I followed this Russian chick on TikTok who was like, yeah, I'm being deported. Thanks a lot. Trump. Canadians, too. The fuck out of here. Oh, man.

Ice backs. Snow Mexicans. Yeah, snow Mexicans. I have. The frostbacks. Yeah, frostbacks. I have, uh, I want to tell you the story. I accidentally, not, not accidentally, but I have a feud, I guess, with a, a, you know,

an inmate in a Colorado prison who writes articles. Okay. So I'll give you the backstory. Are you asking me to put out a hit? No. I know people in Colorado prisons. I'm sure you do. I have a gang out there that I'm friends with.

I'll probably make another video on them. And similar to this, tell him to politely. Jay, he's like, I know what you're putting down. Yeah, I got you. I got you. I'll score this up. So you guys, I got those soups on your canteen. I need you to fly a kite real quick and let some boys done.

I can slip that shit. Got a mission for you for a cop out here and want somebody dead. He's not a small man, so you might need a bigger dude. So a while ago, about a year, year and a half ago, I made a video because my buddy sent this story to me and he's like, have you seen this? And I was like, no. The story is that a Colorado prison system, one of the Colorado prisons, had a VFW in it, a veteran and foreign wars community in there.

And so they had a post inside of this prison. which is like cool, whatever. That's fucking cool. It's pretty cool. And I was about it. If you could rehabilitate the people, a lot of the people that were the heads of it were Chomo's, a guy that held a teacher in her basement for hours and tried to kill her four or five times. A guy that killed a college student because he thought she was going to snitch on him because she was moving some ecstasy.

Do you want to know why that is? Why did they get in those positions? Because those positions are usually held for people who can get. clear conduct it's basically there there's incentive levels in a lot of prisons for if you don't get in trouble if you don't get caught with contraband if you don't get caught bawling out another inmates back passage if you don't assault staff you know and you don't get DR's disciplinary reports like in Oregon like there was incentive levels if you get 18 months without that shit which is why dudes like um the happy face killer won't fight back when you punch him in his

shit because he has over he got his 18 months clear conduct and he got a special fancy cell um but so to get in those positions where you're running shit it usually requires that you have the incentive level to be able to do that just so you know and chomos are never an issue for the cops unless a gang sends them on a mission because they're not actual criminals they're creatures they're not people committing crimes they're f***ing monsters So I make a video where I say, hey, and I say this in the video, which they choose to ignore, I say, hey, if you are like getting out, if you had some drug charges, if you stole a bunch of cars and you're trying to flip your life around, hey, there's things we can go back from. One guy smashed a baby on the concrete until it was dead. Nope.

Yeah, that's one of their vice presidents or chairmen. Like I said, there was like one or two childmachers in there and a guy that like held a woman in a basement in a bunch. and then tried to kill her a couple of times, like during that time period, like choked her out until she passed out and then she came to. So I make a video about it. I say, hey, if it was somebody getting out, cool. These guys are doing like 40 to life, most in life sentences. I'm like, I don't want chomos and like guys that are murdering like 18 year old college students

to be in a better, a VFW and be a part of the community. Like you've decided that you don't want to be a part of this community anymore. There's standards for being, you know, a military member, even if the veteran status stays with you after you get out. Yeah. So what ends up happening is like six months, within six months to be posting the video, a lot of people in the VFW community are like, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a second. We've got a VFW in a prison that represents us, members of the VFW, then there's child in it? No, no, absolutely not. So what ends up happening is the, they start saying, hey, listen, there's a couple of people. conduct and we're actually going to be removing people from this VFW inside the prison.

And eventually, there's so few people in it that they can't have a post. The post goes away. Oh, no. There was that many? There was that many people that had like committed serious murders or the kid or smashed the kid's face in the concrete. Murder's one of those things where it's like, who was the victim and what was the reason behind it?

Because there are valid reasons to kill people. There's never a valid reason to fuck a kid or to rob a woman. There are valid reasons for, murder, but carry on. One of them that I actually, like, I didn't side with his murder, but like I sided with the inmate. He had gotten in like some sort of argument with a guy outside of a bar. He went to his truck.

The guy came outside and then he turned around and like shot him in like an alleyway and then drove away. The cops pulled him over and he's like, yeah, I killed him. But he owed up to it, right? Him, I'm like, okay, cool. You fucked up. Maybe you were drunk. Maybe you were high.

It seems pretty cut and dry. Probably shouldn't have shot that guy, you know, but you caught to it. If he would have stayed. and talk to the cops. He might have been able to sell it to him in a way where he would have gotten like a lesser charge. I don't know about that.

I'm just saying like he owned up to what he did, right? He owned up to it. Yeah. Right? And even though it was a murder, okay. So the guy that wrote one of the articles writes about it that I read

writes another article in response to my video. And he goes, basically, I have a piece of shit that he doesn't give a fucking about. out and I took away the VFW from him. He was like one of the tertiary third or fourth in like the chain of command like vice president, assistant vice president, whatever in the VFW. And he goes on a little bit of a tant or a rant and it's just like you took away something good from us. Fuck that guy.

We were doing great things. Doesn't talk about any of the chomos that were in the unit as like the vice president. What was his charge? His charge was he was a drug dealer and he killed. like an 18 or 19 year old female college student because she was moving ecstasy like buying ecstasy from him and then he thought that she was snitching to the cop

so he off her. Yeah, no. Him and like Tim and like two dudes like broke into her apartment and killed her. No, and then like fuck him. Yeah. It's like that's not that's about even by like convict code which is scumbaggery. It's bottom of the barrel morality. Yeah. No, that's a big old no, fuck him. So

so he tells me via his article that he writes It's just like a month or two old now. I was going to do a video on it. Maybe I will again. Yeah, that basically I'm scum because I took away his VFW. The dude who killed a little 18-year-old girl because he was a drug dealer and he didn't want to get caught.

Oh, that dude thinks that you're scum. Yeah. Which I could give a shit. Timbers are shivered over here. Yeah. He also talks to like somebody in like the Colorado Press. And I talked to this guy in the Colorado Press, a little bit more of a story.

So this guy in this Colorado. Colorado news establishment is like, hey, can I call you up and talk to you about this thing, your video that you did? I was like, sure. So I talked to him about it. And he goes, you know, like, how do you feel about that? I go, well, I feel like the VFW is retarded for doing that. He's like, oh, interesting. I was like, you can quote me on that. Yeah. It's retarded. And he did. God bless him, said it's retarded. Now, what he did with the article was he tried to pay me as like some sort of dirty cop that shouldn't be listened to. He was just like, oh, he's controversial. But then on the opposite side of the same coin is like, these guys in the VFW deserve a second

murders and child moll blah blah blah blah blah well here's the thing is that if they were serious about that shit they should have policed their own community in there boom and that is a major thing in prison is you are who you associate with yeah like it's birds of a feather flocked together chymos and roos and punks and rats all have each other's backs like if you are in prison and you are sitting at the same table as a fucking child you are a fucking baby yeah if you're sitting at the table with somebody who women or kills women or children, you are that person.

Who you associate with is a reflection of you. So they should have had the fucking moral aptitude and the fucking spine to have those people removed from those positions. And in prison oftentimes, since you don't go to the authorities about things, what that

means is you have somebody or you personally yourself, take them off the yard. Which means you know, if you want to extort somebody into it, you send a torpedo. Torpedoes are great. You can call them a torpedo or a crash test dummy. You get somebody who's on a bad charge and you tell him, hey, check it out.

We are going to fucking give you extra breathing holes all throughout your neck. And you're not going to be breathing through them for very long unless you go and do this. Here's what I want you to do. You see that big old fat child. Fuck over there. Go take flight on him. And you don't have to win. Both of you just have to go to the hole.

Just go take flight. do it right in front of the cops and then they both go to the hole and your problem is solved for a little bit and then by the time he gets out he's not going to have that we talked about the incentive program he just got a DR he's out for at least 18 months and if he ever gets back in you just rinse repeat they should have been policing their own community if they wanted to keep a community yeah i'm sorry but that's that's that's that is what it is he sounds like he is on some punk shit to me because i mean well look at his charge of course he's going to sympathize with people who fuck kids and lock women in basements and rape him because he's on that same

type of scumbag ass time. That's the prison view of it. I felt my two cents was that, hey, listen, if you murder somebody but you cop up to it, if you did a whole bunch of like, you know, stealing burglaries and bullshit but you're trying to get out, even if you got like a life term for whatever, like own your shit. But when you've got a bunch of childmangers in it and you're not policing your own, you're like oh cool everybody coming to the VFW including like the guy that two eight-year-olds and then got caught with a bunch of child and dozens of kids

used underwear like in his house when he got raided a couple years ago and that's what that's the time he's serving like maybe you should not have that guy maybe you shouldn't have the guy that bashes his girlfriend's kids face like one year old 18 month old into a freaking concrete and then be like oh yeah it fell down the stairs and then when the medical examiners looked at they're like no this baby had its head the shit shaking out of it, that its brainstem was removed from it, like, dislocated from itself as detached.

Like, like, and I'm, and I'm, and then this, this fucking dickhead is like, oh, he ruined my VFW time. And I'm like, fuck you. VFW looked at the situation and was like, oh, yeah, remove that. That's, I don't, that's it. Like, no business wouldn't want to be associated with

individuals like that. And then I'm assuming other veterans that were in prison with him, probably didn't want to be part of that VFW class either. And that's why there's so contrary to popular belief, there are a lot of gang members that are like devout Christians and shit like that. But they don't go to church because there's a saying in prison, not everybody who goes to church is a chomo, but all chomos go to church.

And people that are really about that life are not about to go sit with a, you know, a wrist on this side of them and a fucking diaper sniff. for on the other side of them. They're just not going to do it. Yeah. You know, there's certain things that you avoid. I liked it at Snake River.

We had a system where there were certain, uh, dudes with bad charges that were like, they were allowed to go on the yard because they were paying gangs or whatever, which isn't my personal politics. You're not, you, you don't deserve sunlight or fresh air if you heard a kid. But that was, they all had to stay on the volleyball court. So you'd see just all these weird looking, fucking Coke bottle glass. asses, triple chins, neck beards. Oh, dude, show me, especially the ones

that boys are, like, some of the most saddest turtle-looking frog people I've ever seen. And, bro, like, they're, like, it's funny because, you know, you can see it. You guys at home can see it if you watch stuff like, watch, you know, Gideon and Alex Rosson's bus and Chris Hanson's bus. You'll see that the people that are into young boys,

like they're mentally retarded, bro. Yeah. They're not mentally all there. Do I feel bad for them? No, I don't. I don't. Fuck them. they should be executed.

But, you know, it's a real-life thing that most of them are just completely fucked in the dome, you know? And then every once in a while you have like the decent looking, very charismatic, you know, youth pastor or teacher or something. But for the most part, there's a look. So when you see a volleyball, sandpit volleyball court full of all these. Hey, you guys want to play Dungeons and Dragons type motherfuckers. it is hilarious to watch, bro. Like one of them will, it'll be the first day

and one of them's like out stumbling out towards the weight pile. I think I'm going to do some, no bitch, you're going to go to that volleyball court. Get the fuck out of here before we fuck you up. Yeah, nerds.

The fucking nerds. The prison nerds are chomos. Yeah. Yeah, that's literally how it is, bro. It's crazy. Fucking lot. The prison is. You were talking about baby shakers, bro.

Yeah. There was a dude. He was all over the news in Oregon. He had shook a baby to death. We knew he was coming. We didn't know what institution he'd land in. Because there's, I think maybe like 16, 17 prisons in Oregon last time I counted. I don't know, give or take.

They might have shut some down. But he ended up landing at the prison that I was at. And he immediately asked for PC. And the cops were like, no baby shaker. No. And when he came on the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the cop announced. So it's PC for protective custody. That's where they, they put you in a solitary cell and you sit there and you fucking rot in a

solitary cell and they, you don't get a lot of access. But it's still inmates making your food. It's still inmates bringing you your food. It's still inmates doing your laundry. So they'll like put broken glass and human feces in their food. They'll, they'll put, uh, there's chemicals in the laundry room that they can, put into your laundry so that when you put it on it's fine but as soon as you sweat like the moisture activates it and it gives you horrific chemical burns like sometimes they have to take you

out to medical and you'll be walking across the control room floor and somebody will just take flight on your punk ass but this dude they refused in PC and announced that this is the baby shaker coming in right and so like everybody knew this dude was a baby shaker bro and he ended up falling up a flight of cement stairs let's just say. Tragedy. It happens a lot. And that's horrible.

He was super fucked up and nonverbal when the cops came and took him out. And they took him and they just took him to the hole. They didn't even take his ass to medical. They just, oh, he's on the floor all fucked up covered in his own blood, looking retarded. They dragged him to the hole. He ended up dying of an an aneurism in the hole. Damn. Yeah.

Not sad about that. Similar to the way that baby probably died. Yeah. Oh, no. Yeah, isn't that poetic, though? It is. Poetic justice. I just like, all the guys were like, what happened?

He fell up the stairs. It's like, the sound of a skull, the sound of a skull bouncing off cement. I'm sure you've heard it. I've done it to myself before. Yeah. It's not cool when it's yours. It's cool when it's a baby shakers. You can, like, it's like you have an out of body experience.

I bounce my face off of the most unforgiving thing in the world, which is blacktop. Yeah. I've done that before. And I thought I broke the whole side of my face. And that was just me falling over. and I hit the pavement and that blacktop just jacked up my face. So yes,

I've dealt with them. As a drummer, I wish that I could go and record the sound of that dude's skull hitting the pavement and then have it like on a fucking, you know... Mixer. Yeah, and so use it as an alter to the snare drum.

Bro, speaking of cops hitting their heads, bro, I'm like well always in forever I'm sorry deputy white when I escaped from county jail which it isn't as cool as it sounds because I did not get far and I was I was in the work release area right but they told me I needed to pack my shit up I'd been in work release for like months and deputy white was super cool to me he was always respectful he was super cool he told me and he's not supposed to he broke protocol to allow me to go pack my shit up he said delay you had a warrant come from Portland from Multnomah County we need to roll you up you're going to do the rest of your time over in the county jail and then we're going to transport you to Multnomah so I'm going to let you roll your own shit up and I was like okay bet so I went upstairs to my little room and I threw like my disc man this is how long this ago this was and my CDs and like three cartons of cigarettes into my backpack and snuck around the little guard station and made a bolt for the door because they had to buzz you in and out when somebody got buzzed you in and out when somebody got buzzed you.

out as soon as the door open, I ran right past him. And so they're running after me, right? And then I see COs coming from the other direction from the jail. Like, their response time was impeccable. And I'm running and I run through a parking lot. And to get in the parking lot, you have to jump over these shrubs that are about yay high. But there's a little tree with some landscaping wire running. And Deputy White, a guy I genuinely like right behind me, jumps and his foot hits the landscaping wire. He goes, and I'm like, I stopped. And I'm like, Deputy White, are you okay? He goes, just stop delay.

And I'm like, no. And I fucking start running. I get to the other side of the parking lot and cop cars are pulling up, opening the door raining down on me. And I just throw my backpack in the air. And I'm like, I'm just playing, let's go back to jail. And I get down, right? And they put my hands behind my back.

They cuff me up. One, one CEO has his boot on the back of my head, pushing my face into the pavement as hard as he can. And like six of them just bootmosh the shit out of me, bro. Just kick the shit out of me. Meanwhile, there's witnesses because this is out right in front of like this restaurant. And they're just bootmoshing the shit out of me in front of all these civilians who are like,

they're like gasped, bro. And they take me and throw me in the hole. And they come to me at like, it's hard to tell the time in the hole. But to me it felt like four in the morning. I also probably had a really bad concussion. And they're like, hey, if you sign this, we won't press charges for escape. And that's five years in prison. And I'm like, so I can go home.

And they're like, yeah, sure, okay, you can go home. And I'm like, what does this say? I can't even read. I'm so fucked up, bro. They fuck me up. And they're like, it just says that you're not going to. What is it rich? If I'm chasing you an ass whoopin's coming with me.

Yeah, dude, no, I'm not blaming them. Like, I deserve to have my ass whooped for that. And a cop got hurt, bro. A cop got hurt. I didn't physically touch him, but a cop got hurt because of my actions. I deserved an asswop. And I'm not complaining about that. I'm just saying it's hard to read, you know?

So, like, they're like, it says that you're not going to sue us or try to press charges for excessive force. And I'm like, okay, cool. And so I sign this shit and I'm like, can I pack up and go home? They're like, no, stupid. You're going to stay here in the hole until we take you to Portland to go face those charges. And I was like, shucks. I just like, I thought I was going to go home.

I'm going to make it on foot. I'm sure I will run as far as I can on foot. Your planning wasn't very good. No, dude, no. No, no, that's, I said I was a career criminal. I didn't say I was good at it. When that door opens, I can make a run for it. Where am I going?

I haven't thought about that yet. And it's, it's funny because when I went to prison in Oregon, it was after that. And they still let me go on outside work crews. So I go from being in a maximum security prison where I'm sleeping with a tiny shank under my pillow and shit. And like, I'm ready to flush that bitch if I hear the doors crack. It's a CO there, so I don't get a three to five year charge for having a blade. And then they move me to a minimum.

And the day after they move me there, they're dropping me off in a park with a chainsaw. And I'm like, that's a change. Broom, brum, brum, bitches. I love chainsaws. You know what I'm saying? Like, let's fucking go. We let's fucking go. You're happy.

I'm like, I got a big girl that can drop off tobacco and liquor in these bushes for me so that we could get drunk while out here and smoke lots of cigarettes i was like this is great but it was like a culture shock but they let me go on the outside work cruise with that on my record but when i got to florida i was just in a county jail and they had work crews that were going out and i applied and they were like no you're denied and i'm like why the fuck am i denied bro like and they're like oh you had a you had an escape and i'm like no no i signed a paper i signed a paper they're like you i'm like fuck god damn You running around with a chainsaw is, like, doing that reminds me of, like, giving, like, a 17, 18 year old brand new private, like any sort of equipment to, like, hey, go mow the lawn over there. Who's the chain saw?

I got done some branches. And they're like, ooh! You're like, go. No, private. Well, I've, bro, I've worked for tree services and shit. I know how to run a wood chipper or a chainsaw. But did I tell you guys, last time I was here, did I tell you the guys the story about how we made a dude stuff a dead bird's head? in his ass

I'm drawing the blank I don't believe I've heard this story before I'm on that work crew and we're working in parks and there was one dude on the work crew that we didn't like because he was he was a snitch and so nobody fucked with him

nobody trusted him but I had a big girl that was dropping off tobacco and alcohol in the bushes and then we would pack it up like me and me and the south side Huero, we would pack it up into, you know, plugs for everybody else to stick up their ass and bring back into the institution inside themselves. And then they would get in there and they would open it up and they would split it in half. They got to keep half of everything they brought in their ass. We got

the other half so that we were in there smoking the whole time that we're there. You know, and selling cigarettes for canteen. We had multiple people's boxes full of food and shit like that. We were balling out on tobacco. Tobacco was my hustle in prison. So this dude, that's a snitch keeps he knows we're doing some shit but we're not telling him and he keeps begging he's like please let me in i really like cigarettes i really want to smoke and finally weddo one day is like hey i found a dead bird and i'm like okay he's like let's make him put this up his ass i'm like dog that thing's too big he's like i'll cut its head off so he uses pruning shears to cut its head off and he fucking i'm just imagining piti from dumb and together the tape what you do with piti i took care of it

Pretty bird. Pretty bird. The head falls off and up your buddy's ass or that dude's ass. So he wraps it up in two sandwich bags just like we would with tobacco and then takes the finger of a glove. You wraps it around. Takes another finger. Wraps it around the other side. Ties it up tight.

Takes it to the dude and tells him, look, you got to give us half when you get back in the institution or we'll never fuck with you again. Right. And we're all on the same unit. So we get back to the unit and he goes to the bathrooms and everybody's like standing outside the stall. just listening just we're all just like enthralled we're like yes this dude's got a dead bird in his ass he's gonna give birth to a bird

bro screamed I will never forget his scream I cannot hit that pitch dog he screamed like a full on female and freaked out we hear the toilet flush he steps out and weddow's like where's our half bro and he's like he's a piece of shit

we ended up getting him kicked off the work crew too it was cool I mean, prison life is a little different than I'm used to. Well, no, it almost sounds like barracks type shit. It's like, we're going to make this dude do this shit. Yeah. It's like he's got crabs. We're going to make him light, have his pubes on fire.

Oh, does that go with the crabs? It gets ready to go to a big lighter. That dude, prison is wild. Dude, prison sounds just like barracks life, though. I mean, prison is terrible and it's stupid. And I hate to admit it on the internet. I always try to let people know how like how degrading and disgusting it is and how it's your own fault and how you're leaving your family hang like literally you're leaving your family hanging you're damaging your family like you're damaging your community it's not it does it's not a right of passage it doesn't make you a man it means you were a fucking scumbbag and you were sloppy enough to get caught but the part I don't talk about on the internet because I'm not trying to encourage motherfuckers to do shit is it's also kind of fun and hilarious sometimes. It'll be like 90% boredom

And then there'll be like 8% fun And then 2% extreme violence So It sounds exactly like Barrack's life Yeah, I was well to say It's just like boot camp Barrick's life God I demand fucking wild to me

I'm like that sounds terrible All of it It's like the Japanese prisons When you read how they operate They are Perfectly clean No one's out of line line, and they have the most simple punishment when you fuck up or doing anything.

No birds and buttholes? Tell me what's the simple punishment, yeah. Oh, so they are very strict. So you have to keep your cell and everything you do extremely organized, like your shoes go in a place. Everything goes in a place, and it has to be there every time a CEO comes by, talks to you, anything. And you get in line, you walk in that perfect line, and they do not deviate from those lines. and when they talk about, oh, why does everyone behave so well? It's like, oh, well, if they fuck up or let's say their shoes are out of place

or even a pencil is not in the right place, they have to self-reflect. It's like, okay, well, what's that mean? Oh, well, you just have to sit in the, you know, traditional like samurai on your knees, this. Oh, well, you sit there for, it can be one week to a month. Oh, fuck me. That's it. you are expected from when you rise tell you go to bed to sit and you cannot get up on your knees in that position and stare at the wall and they don't give you a time frame starts at a week and then it can go to a month and even further they're like so yeah what do they do if they don't do you know how their executions work even i've i've seen like a thing where it's like a guy in a room and they go in and behead somebody i don't know it's a hanging but they don't even they don't even tell you when you get executed that's another thing If you're on a, what is it?

Death row. There is no telling you the date, the time. It is, they will just come to your room and be like, and walk you to the little hanging room, and you just hang. And then they leave. It's fucking wild when you see how they operate their system. It's like, whoa. So what the fuck. If you don't reflect, they hang you?

Actually, let's see what happens. Right? Because if you're like, if you're like, my shoes are off and they're like, you need to reflect for a week. And you're like, fuck you, I'm not going to. what's that movie with uh jared lito the where he's a world war two veteran do you know what i'm talking about eli he he like jared lito what happens does he become something afterwards yeah yeah he becomes like a gangster he's like becomes yakuza afterwards no no no no i know what you're talking about yeah like he he stays in japan and ends up becoming like a yakuza yeah he he ends up

like killing one of his former dudes that he worked with like one of the officers that he worked with i need to watch out i don't think i've seen that one dude you're so heavy into like japanese stuff and you haven't seen that one no it's fucking cool is it a cool movie it's actually it's a cool jared you say lito i say leto jir letto is a letto whatever he he's good as a secondary character because he's he plays a person you can hate very well But, like, I would, I'm hesitant to watch him in a movie where he's the main character just because he doesn't, he can't carry a movie on its own. Morbius.

And, yeah. It's a fucking cool movie. Show, what's, what, what is that movie with Jared Leto? The outsider. Yeah, yeah, because he's in, because he's hot and he's in your pen. Yeah, because he's an outsider. Good job, show. So if we take the reins from Savannah when does know what she's doing typing in shit in Bing probably.

Have you seen that, JD? I haven't. The outsider with Jared Lito, Leto. I see Leto. I don't know. I had a bad experience with him, so I just sort of wrote him off. Tell me more about your experience with Jared Lotto. I mean, it wasn't even necessarily my bad experience.

It was a young girl's bad experience that I knew when he came through and did the pre-Fontaine movie in Eugene, Oregon. he did one of my friends really dirty and kicked her out of a hotel room without her clothes and she narrowly escaped without getting assaulted. So I just from then on out, I was like, fuck Jared Leto, you know?

Well, that was a random story. So allegedly, allegedly, allegedly she gets kicked out of a room with Jared. Jared's like, you're not getting your clothes, bitch, fuck you. Yeah, he wanted to go farther than she wanted to go. blood sacrifice likely he's a demon i mean and now it makes a lot of sense all these allegations that are coming out because it's something that oh are there allegations on leto now there's

so many allegations right now he's like bro he had that weird island thing anytime a rich white dude has an island and he did this like cult experience you can come be in jared letto's colt and everybody's wearing white robes and stuff like that's similar thing with his acting uh classes yeah yeah so it was like this this letto fucking island experience. I just don't trust white people that own islands at this point, bro. Yeah. Like, Shilabuff did some fucking crazy shit? I knew a guy that was an actor, is still an actor.

And he, Shilabuff was having some sort of acting class thing going on. And it wasn't a cult, but it was ran very cultish. So these people paid money to get trained by Shailabuff. And it was like this acting course. And Shilabuff would, you know, teach them how to act. There was the normal sees of acting.

right but surrounding the acting and in between he would be like extremely manipulative to them and like talk down to them and try to get them to submit to his like knowledge power or whatever and the guy that I knew was like 6-6 and not small and shylobuff isn't that tall and you know shyly buff was like fuck you you want to blah blah you know he's like trying to like intimidate him and he's just like okay okay little fella um was this years ago yeah it was years ago this is This is an old story about Shire. That's why I think like six years plus. There was a period.

I know he, John Berthal is the one that like gave him a reality check, I believe. Is that the Punisher? Yeah. He was like, hey, you're being a piece of shit. You need to fix this shit. Like during the Brad Pitt movie. Fury. Yeah.

Was it during Fury, Babe? Oh, that's one. They were all together. Yeah. Shy, him, Brad Pitt and the other guy that survived Fury. I know he helped him later and then he had him on the podcast. Yeah, that's when Shilabuff also talks about, like, being a piece of shit. He was like, yeah, I had an ego, my childhood, blah, blah, blah.

I start taking accountability for shit. Well, he, you guys know Tom Hardy is terrified of Shailabuff. And Tom Hardy's a big dude, and he plays badasses, you know what I'm saying? Why is he afraid of Shailabu? So they did that movie Lawless that was about the Bonderup, Bonderut brothers. Yeah. And I guess Shialabuff flipped out on him and came very close to attacking him. And Tom Hardy is just like, I don't fuck with that dude.

That dude freaks me out. I don't fuck with that dude. He's like, I'll never be in another room with that dude. I don't fuck. Like, we, we finished the movie and outside of filming our scenes, I was not around him. I don't want him anywhere around me. He, he scares me. And I was like watching this interview of this dude who's like, plays badass like,

you're fucking Bain, bro. You're not allowed to be afraid of little men. He's also like a BJJ like blackout or purple. He's very good. I think he's a brown bill He's brown I think it's what it is

He fights a lot What is that new Oh bro the Berndthol That's one of the Funniest people Ever met in my life Like

I would think The holly See that one? Yeah Drop that one Crazy He's been doing it to me For the last

Two names straight And I've been Let me slide I've been dropping all these names I had to do at least one Let me tell you That was comedy perfection because I was going to do it

I was going to do it and you started looking over and we both looked over that was perfect I just thought you were looking at my dick again not again also fuck all of me we love you

that was perfect timing the two of us just so good what is that new show that fucking Tom is in that's the British gangster show if you guys watch that

yeah if you guys haven't watched that film and shit Yeah, the gentleman. I haven't watched it. I should watch it. Yeah, I haven't watched that one. Oh, just real quick. So consequences for breaking rules.

Prisoners may lose visitation rights, personal belongings, access to the prison store, and work assignments. Serious or repeated infractions lead to placement in a punishment cell. Is that Japan? Yeah. I don't know what a punishment cell is. Well, it's like the hole, bro. It's solitary.

But they call it the punishment hole. This is harsh conditions and limited contact. Bela, you've got to go watch the outsider. Tony knows a lot about the punishment. It's cool. That one, yeah. And it's after World War II? Yeah.

Okay. I'll watch that one. So he's a soldier that gets arrested in Japan. And it's kind of cool. I'll watch that one later. Hey, put it on the list. When you are in like boot camp or the army, like whatever the case may be, what are the punishments if you fuck up there?

Do they have shit like solitary confinement? Do they have shit like loss of privilege? If you go to jail, yes. Your article 15s, you'll get punished. You have like seven day, 14 day, and 30 to 60 day, right? So what is it, what does it entail when you get lop? Do they call it Lop? Loss of privilege?

No. It's in prison, so they have different tears. You have jail. Army jail, which is you fucked up. Yeah, Army jail is a bad time. Is that if you actually break a law? Yes. That's not just, big rock to little rock.

You are doing manual labor. Yeah. So, like, in prison, there's, there's different procedures that you could do, like, outside of solitary confinement. Solitary confinement fucking blows, bro. It sucks. But it's absolutely necessary because there are genuinely evil people in there doing genuinely evil shit. So, like, I'm not complaining. I went to solitary multiple times.

I deserved it every time. Accountability, yada, yada, yada. But, like, they also have, if it's a lower level infraction, they give you loss of privilege. They call it lop. And that you have to sit on your bunk. and you can only leave your bunk if you have to go to the bathroom or if you're going to a call out where they have you like going to an appointment or if you are going to chow other than that you're sitting on your bunk

the entire time if you're in a dorm you're in your cell the entire time if you're in a cell block type situation time would go so slow it does go super slow I've done a little bit of time on lot for sure. And so sometimes they'll do like a step down where you do like, you know, four months in the hole and then you do three months on lop afterwards. And so you're like, it feels like absolute freedom. You're like, I'm not in a solitary confinement. I'm in a normal cell and I'm allowed to have my top ramen and read books that aren't the Bible. This is the best thing ever, guys. Oh, yeah. Imagine spending months in a time in just a cement room with a bed and a

toilet that has a sink on top and all you can read is the Bible and they bring you like the old King James and you're like fuck oh another good movie count of Monte Cristo oh yeah it's a great it's one of my favorite books yeah it's solid movie fantastic book and also we read nice a good movie it's one of my that is such a good movie we need to watch that one again the not not the like the old ones really good yeah Henry Cavill young Henry Cavill yeah he's the son really Well, oh, the bastard son that ends up like being his, like the prisoner's son for the, it's his son, the main character's son that had out of red loss. It's in your couple of age.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She, she, what's it? What's, what's his woman's name? Oh my gosh. I'm blanking on it. It's been a couple of years since I've last read it.

Not Valentine. You've seen the movie, though. Well, I've read the book. I've read the book several times. I haven't seen the movie. Yeah. But he plays, he plays, oh my gosh, he plays the Count of Monte Cristo's lover, his love's son, right, from the marriage that happened after he was sent away from the bastard, the asshole that sent him away to prison to get rid of him so that he can marry the girl. Okay, yeah.

At the end of the book, he's basically just, hey, go on a ship and figure life out like I did, come back and maybe you can have some money. But yeah, he spends, what made me think of that, like J.D. was talking about being in, like, solitary confinement. In the movie, he's, I think he spends, what, 10 years with nothing in his cell? The count? Yeah. Yeah. And then he meets the guy in the cell next to him.

His cellie. Yeah, because the cellie goes to the wrong hole. He's like, oh, fuck, man. I've gone to the wrong role. Yeah, his celly was trying to. Tony. His celly was trying to tunnel out the other way. And he accidentally ends up.

his cell and so he's freaked out he's like what the fuck this dude just tunnels up through his cell old guy yeah but he he spent like it was like 10 to 15 years there just looking at a wall like with nothing and they start teaching me reading writing how to fight all that it's such a good movie man it's such an underrated movie that no one watches anymore in the book it's the kind of Monte Cristo actually meets his the guy that teaches him what to do because he they like talk through like a hole in the wall like there's like a hole and they like start talking after a while he's like they're both basically political prisoners for no reason and then the count who's not the count at the time but he digs to through the wall or

digs another hole to get to his buddies adjoining cell then he teaches him everything during that time they also he assists him in burrowing out but then what ends up happening is he has like a big seizure and he's just like I'm not for this world like they're going to kill like I'm going to die um figure figure it out but try to try to save yourself he's like okay so that he dies you know and in the counts arms counts like fuck my friend but then is also like I can use this and then they take the guy they put him in like ship lap and they're like tie it up and they're just going to throw him off the fucking rock island and he pretends like he's he's the corpse he's the corpse he changes himself with the corpse and throws the corpse in his room and

gets thrown off and then mixes millions and billions of dollars. That's still like the movie then, because that's still how that has. One of my favorite parts of the book is the Count of Monte Cristo was just like, how long is the travel to so-and-so's place? A day and a half,

then I shall take my slumber pills. And it's described as he pulls out a sat fire that's like bigger than his palm, that he had hollowed out, that he just like flicks an opening for it. There's a bunch of sleeping pills in it. so the count's like so loaded he's like ah a sat fire the size of a golf ball hollow it out just carve it out so i can put my pills in it i mean he's in that movie when he buys the

fucking estate yeah he walks up he's like this is not for sale he's like man it's a one treasure chest out of like 15 they goes like okay it's it's yours and he comes in on a balloon yeah yeah in the movie yeah he comes in an air and uh Hot air balloon. What kills me is everyone the entire movie. Like, he keeps talking to people and they're like, how do you know this? He's like, well, Napoleon told me that. Yeah.

Napoleon Bonaparte told you that? He's like, yeah. And no one believes him the entire time. He's like, no, that actually fucking happened. God, so that's cool. Napoleon. Napoleon. Oh, no.

Name dropping Napoleon over here. Like, Calamani Christo dropping Napoleon. I might know a dude. So that actually holds up because even today, they're still, they talk through vents in the wall in there. That's what's happening right now to Brian Koberger. He's in solitary confinement, but everyone around him, the dude who killed those four college students in Idaho. In Idaho. Oh, that f***ing.

He broke into a house, a sorority house. Oh, yeah. And murdered these little girls while they were fucking asleep. Three girls and three girls and a dude. Yeah. And so he thought he was some genius like math. level dude nobody is we still nobody has any idea why he chose them as victims he refused to tell you but he's a fucking he's just a weird narcissistic crazy dude like all these bitches

on the internet be like my ex is a narcissist you wouldn't be on the internet saying that if he was because he'd kill you calm down becky but this dude's like that real life dude and he's a tiny man inside i thought he was tall i thought he was tall no but i mean on the inside oh like he's small the inside yeah like those those victim impact panels with the families of those girls particularly the sister uh and the mom like that sister must be a fucking therapist or a psychologist because the thing she said to that dude like she did a psychological workup on this dude and just degraded him in the most effective shit i've ever seen in a courtroom i was gasping i was like yes get him question for you

How do they treat someone like that in prison? Because they hate them, bro. They're torturing him right now. They can't get to them physically. So they're through the vents. They're keeping them up all hours of the night. They're literally people are working shifts to keep him up. And they're telling them what's going to happen to them.

They're telling them, you know, as soon as we can get our hands on you, we're going to fucking rip you with a splintered broomstick. We're going to fucking stab you. We're going to kill you. And they're just, they're mentally and psychologically torturing them, which is what you do when you can't get. your hands on a person. I was in the hole for a while and they put me next to a child and I had literally nothing to do. So I made it my life's mission to try to get this dude to hang

it up. I wanted him to Epstein, right? So I'm like, he tried to influence him. I'm doing like, it was influencing. I'm doing like little kids voices at him and shit like, why'd you take my childhood away? Like just nonstop 24 seven going at this dude through the vents. Fucking this dude up, bro. And then eventually I got to where like, I'm like, you know what's going to happen when you get out of here man like it's it's gonna be bad like look i'm being a friend here you just you should just end it bro and you should just end it and he tried and fucked it up and the guards the ceos found him trying and they took him to a butnakey cell for 72 hours all they do if they if you try to if like if you go to a guard in there a ceo and you tell him man i'm just having this ideation and i'm really

struggling mentally i really need some help they're like cool we got you cuff up and they take you to a cell where they strip you butt naked and there's nothing in your cell except a camera pointing at you and they keep you there for observation for three days and then they're like okay cool you're better and they brought them right back to the cell next to me again i was like lit i'm gonna get right back to it dude you you know what that makes me think of have you watched the matthew mccaneh um true detective yeah remember we he's sitting he's talking to the woman he's like you should just yourself yeah the first opportunity you have just yourself you do a great matthew mccane do you guys know how to talk like

matthew mccane no dude do i need benzos okay so you don't touch your teeth with your tongue you don't touch you should just oh my god yeah i just heard i do that and i was like wait don't touch your teeth to your turn i did a soft i did a soft country accent and then and then i keep getting older and they just stay the same age You should just You should just Your show I started watching that

That's the one with Woody Heraldson Right What's up That's McConaughey and Woody Heraldson Right Yeah yeah Yeah the first season It's amazing

Oh Watch that The first season Skip the second season Skip all of them You said last time It's just the first one was good The first one's amazing

The female one was okay But the other two Fell way short Yes He actually Matthew McConae's character Remines me of you kind of in that first one.

Well, all right. He just drinks the beer, and it's all, I can't say anything because he even watched it. Yeah, you'll binge watch it. It's very good. It's incredible. There is a couple ones we need to watch. Do you know who taught me how to do the Matthew McConaughey voice?

It was a, it was a congressman that taught me how to do that. What's the name? You guys are assholes. I still haven't caught up to you doing it to me yet, but I'm an asshole. Was his name, Tony? We can name drop Tony without doing that to each other. He's like, this is why I'm not talking right now.

Everyone's like, why doesn't Cody talk? This is exactly why. I bully Ethan ten times more than you get bullied on this thing. And Ethan doesn't shut the fuck up. So you can absolutely talk more. It's just a mind over. matter like so i like i don't i don't i'm not making this claim myself but sources have said that tony actually has a prolapsed anus that looks like a fucking meat sock bro uh and that he can

actually golf with it that it hangs so low like i'm not sure if that's true sources sources have sources have said that his prolapsed anus looks like a carp's mouth yeah i i don't make the face please he can actually play 18 holes of golf with it That made it way worse. Richard's like a carp's mouth. Yeah. Just imagine a carp's mouth like extending like intestine and then picking up a golf ball and then like swallowing it up into the. Yeah.

He calls it his little rose. Oh God. That's why I can't drink four roses. That's the reason. Yeah, I went to a scary mirror thing at a, at a carnival and Tony pulled down his pants and I saw four roses. Hey, speaking of which, have you guys ever looked at your own assholes? as very little as possible. But have you ever seen it?

I realized that's the one part of my body I'd never seen as my gooch and my asshole. We've literally just talked about it. It's like the worst thing to last episode, we started it with being the worst thing to look at possibly. Yeah, it is the worst of God's creation is a man's butthole. I looked at my own, bro. I literally like, I put a mirror on the floor and I heard this before. Hopped to the squat and got the right angle.

Don't ever do that, by the way. I've not been the same man since. Yeah. It's not a good thing. I didn't realize you guys had just talked about this. No, I was just speaking for personal experience. If you bend over and look at it, like spread your cheeks and look at it from like in the bathroom mirror, you'll get an idea of what it's like to be Tony Gonzalez. Yeah.

Or a correctional officer. I've told this story before. I think. Guys, the count of money Christo is a great movie. Thank you. Thank you. There could be assholes in it, too. well okay so I went to

this is what a couple years ago I went to scare right and he went to the restroom I was like oh a ba ha ha surprise autistic kid so I went to the bedroom and I was like I'll cover myself up in a sheet and I like he made a mess so I like covered myself in the sheet and I hear him walk in the room and I'm like okay I'll wait for the tablet to turn on and then I'll bah and I'm waiting

I'm like okay I think he can't I don't maybe he didn't didn't come in. I swore I heard him walk in. No tablet though. Huh. And I go like this and I like lift my shit up. I'm like, what? And he has pulled the mirror out. No, it was his tablet and he had the camera on reverse and he was squatting over it looking at his butt hole. I was like, what the fuck? And he's like, oh, why are you in here? No shame. I was like, what are you? No, huh? Not turning the table. What are you doing? He's like making sure my butthole is clean. It's like, Daddy can't be mad. I was like,

oh, that's proper hygiene, I guess. Are you Don? I was like, are you not you, dad? I was like, I learned it on a little box. He walked out of the room. I love him. I did not need to know about your cleaning ritual.

Nope, I did not. But I also didn't have to break into your room to try and scary. It's kind of a wash right there. Yeah, Quit pro quo, Batman. Dude, my mom called my brother trying to fart on a candle one time. Just like, she walked into a room and, like, he had a candle up to his, like, right up to his asshole. He's probably like 11.

What are you doing? Yeah, what are you doing? Trying to solder this thing closed, Mom. Trying to get that fire. I think on that note, Cody, you can close. close us out. Bye everyone. Thank you for joining the unsubscribe podcast.

I was joined it by Eli Double Tap. Angry Cops. J.D. Delay, myself, Donut, Operator. Thank you guys for hanging out. We love you. It's all very sexual, Tony. Fuck you, Tony. You don't know my name