Unsubscribe Podcast - The INSANE Life Of Colonel Sanders | Unsubscribe Podcast Christmas Special 2025 Ep 244

Episode Date: December 23, 2025

It’s Christmas and the gang is back together! Cheers all! Watch this episode ad-free and uncensored on Pepperbox! https://www.pepperbox.tv/ WATCH THE AFTERSHOW & BTS ON PATREON! https://www.patreon.com/UnsubscribePodcast 👕 Merch & Shoes https://bunkerbranding.com/pages/unsubscribe-podcast 🔋 Energy Drinks https://drinkechelon.com P.O BOX: Unsubscribe Podcast 17503 La Cantera Pkwy Ste 104 Box 624 San Antonio TX 78257 ------------------------------ THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS! CASHAPP Download Cash App Today: https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/5u7gm6rr #CashAppPod.  Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. See terms and conditions at https://cash.app/legal/us/en-us/card-agreement. Cash App Green, overdraft coverage, borrow, cash back offers and promotions provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit http://cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures. TRUE CLASSIC Upgrade your wardrobe and save on @trueclassic at https://trueclassic.com/UNSUB! #trueclassicpod GHOSTBED Get an extra 10% off already reduced prices when you use code UNSUBSCRIBE at checkout. Go to http://GhostBed.com/unsubscribe to get started. MANSCAPED Give the gift of smooth this holiday season with the Performance Package 5.0 Ultra. Get 15% off with code UNSUB at http://Manscaped.com ------------------------------ UNSUB MERCH: https://www.bunkerbranding.com/pages/unsubscribe-podcast ------------------------------ FOLLOW OUR SOCIALS! Unsubscribe Podcast https://www.instagram.com/unsubscribepodcast https://www.tiktok.com/@unsubscribepodcast https://x.com/unsubscribecast Eli Doubletap https://www.instagram.com/eli_doubletap/ https://x.com/Eli_Doubletap https://www.youtube.com/c/EliDoubletap Brandon Herrera https://www.youtube.com/@BrandonHerrera https://x.com/TheAKGuy https://www.instagram.com/realbrandonherrera Donut Operator https://www.youtube.com/@DonutOperator https://x.com/DonutOperator https://www.instagram.com/donutoperator The Fat Electrician https://www.youtube.com/@the_fat_electrician https://thefatelectrician.com/ https://www.instagram.com/the_fat_electrician https://www.tiktok.com/@the_fat_electrician ------------------------------ unsubscribe pod podcast episode ep unsub funny comedy military army comedian texas podcasts #podcast #comedy #funnypodcast Chapters 0:00 Welcome To Unsub! 1:30 Nic Is Bullying Children Again 14:05 Our Recent Travel Adventures 33:35 Pew Pews 42:27 We Miss Demo Matt 46:07 Our Kid’s Christmas Presents 49:30 Jared Isaacman 55:33 Colonel Sanders 1:16:48 McDonalds & Disney 1:19:45 Kentucky Colonels 1:25:25 Brandon’s Campaign Update 1:32:20 Sun Tzu 1:37:30 Sho’s Irish Voicemail 1:40:00 DMX 1:41:45 Connor’s Tiny Head 1:50:02 Everyone Argues About Tattoos Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Merry Christmas, f***os. You guys hunting bears? So I was a dick to a child, but he deserved it, so it's all good. I wake up with a bag over my head and demo standing over me. Bring out my kids before I give you the 11 secret herbs and spice. I said black, didn't they? Very strong. Okay.

Don't say black. Say hi to Eli. He's racially ambiguous and Brandon. His hair is fucking fabulous. Don't I A dark joke disposition And there's a fat electrician We'll come to unsubscribe

Oh shit, I need a crackie Check your ass I bet there's one there It's good to have you back Nick I love you too Three two one Hi everyone Welcome to the unsubscribe podcast

I'm joined today by Eli Double Tap, the fat electrician, Brandon Herrera, myself, Donut Operator. We're doing a Christmas episode, right? Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. I've been berating kids at the snow hill. Merry Christmas, Nick. It's my favorite time of year.

Bullying kids? Yep. Are you just going fast? In my defense, they deserved it. What did they do? I was like, so we go to the sled hill because it's like snowing and shit where I'm at. snowed like 18 inches in three days and there's like three sled hills they get progressively larger so i take my small children to the little sled hill which is fine and everybody takes turns

and then some like 13 year old that's fat i'm only saying that because it's the only ammo i had against him proceeds to take a turn going on the sled hill on a snowboard which is fine makes it three feet down the hill before he eats also fine you got to practice to get good that's okay he then proceeds to walk to the bottom of the sled hill and lay down and start building a ramp and after like 30 seconds of my kids standing there waiting to take the turn I'm like

can you get up why so everybody else can take a turn you don't own the hill the city owns the hill and I pay taxes you little shit head move you don't pay taxes I yes I do

move and then he gets up and moves and then does it again and then I yell at him again and then like if you have a big sled hill they do this thing where they chain tires together so you can walk through the tires to get up the hill so you're not slipping up the hill

and he then proceeds to lay down on the tires so my little kids can't walk up the hill so I pick my three year old up and I'm like oh it's okay cash come here I'll carry you up the hill since Faso over here wants to be a fucking slug right next to him to have so you call me a slug yes I do. You're not very nice. And you're fucking rude, kid. I'm going to go tell my dad.

Fucking please. Tell him to come here and I'll have a conversation with him. All right? Mr. Belaw, we ain't seen Nick in a couple weeks now, right? Since the last live tour. He walked in here, angie as fuck. I don't like holidays. I don't like fat kids at Sled Hills. I'm still- I don't like kids either. I'm still stuck on that rebuttal. You don't pay taxes is a wild thing for a child to say what I tell my son all the time and then I punch him. him right you yell at john he doesn't pay taxes yeah dude you don't pay taxes and i just i just fucking you don't pay taxes john like a molly womper right in the face the the funny thing is i know that's not true because john could probably take you down now i'll get out of here

i watched it i watched it okay okay we're not going to talk about that i might be putting money on john we were to be fair you were taking it a little easy on on him. I was taking it very easy on him. We were having lunch the other day and they got into one of those play wrestles that very quickly turned into not a play wrestle. And what happened? We scared every fucking white woman at the lunch place that we were, uh, that also did happen, yeah? Yeah. And you had two individuals standing patiently waiting to ask for a photograph too. And Cody didn't recognize they were just standing there. And then Cody and John start wrestling and then going faster and harder and they're like

we were outside at said restaurant this wasn't like in the middle of a Texas fucking roadhouse or something this was on a patio it was fine ish saying that it's like we were at a restaurant but outside on the patio well yeah that's why I used to say take it outside yeah it's fine I was what's even fun with the boy okay to be fair if I was actually fighting

I don't think he could take me I got money on it because he has a gun. That in his opening move is overhand right. I'm more surprised the little 13 year old talked back like that. Dude, I did that's wild to me to an adult. It's kids today. There's no consequences for their actions.

They grow up watching YouTubers and stuff talk shit to kids. Like whatever. I feel like I was fairly reasonable in the opening of like, can you get up? like you're obviously being rude like there's a line of people waiting to go down the hill the city owns the sled hill okay now we're talking shit and I'm a lot better at it than you

kid like yeah so I was a dick to a child for about 25 minutes but he deserved it so it's all good I was hoping the dad would show up me too say I don't think the child realized you're a 260 pound man it was a fucking purple belt or the child does not have the wisdom to care

he was the one that making fun of me He just turns like that his kid and hits him. I'm so sorry. So sorry. Papa, why'd you hit me? What was that thing of the, the MMA fighter? He was like, oh, anything your kid does to my kid, I'm going to do to you. Oh, it's Daniel Cormier.

Yeah. It's one of my favorite interviews that. You know Daniel Cormier is, right? And like champ, champ, heavyweight, light heavyweight champ at the same time. One of the best fighters ever, Olympic medalist. And he has this, like, interview story where he's at the park. And some other kid keeps shoving his kid down. And he keeps telling him to stop.

and like the kid's dad keeps telling that kid to stop. And after like the third time, Daniel Cormeyer just looks at the other kid's dead. Whatever your kid does to my kid next, I'm going to do to you. And then they left. Time to go. Dude, Daniel Corman, I would love to have him on the podcast. He's so fucking funny because there was like, there was another one that went via like a random Instagram account with like a hundred followers. And it was literally just like some other like black dude that wrestled, but like nowhere near to

Daniel Kormier's level that was also like coaching Pee Wee wrestling team. And it's just a selfie of him like this with Daniel Kormier in the background. And it's like when when your kid has to wrestle Daniel Kormier's team and he's the coach. Fuck. God, dude. I don't look forward to having another kid again for the same reason. It's like, hey dad, other dad. Hey, hey, I know violence.

You don't know that. This is crazy. see. I'm waiting. I love that the other dad's response is not like he just can't conceptualize keeping his kid under control. Either that or he's not willing to risk it.

I yell at other people's kids a lot. It's probably one of my worst qualities. Worst? Yeah. I ruined my niece's birthday party. All right, Eli. We're going to create a new pepper box special. We follow

Nick Bulley. Yeah, just yelling a kid. Binders on kids. He's doing videos destroying a child's life. Dude, I yell at other people's kids all the time. Nobody ever does shit about it. Weird. It's great.

I love you. You say like doing a binder on the kids, like you're like a f***ing PI. Like, so, you're 13. You went out in the woods with your friends. Two o'clock study hall instead of going to school. What were you guys doing in the woods? Huh? Just ruining children's lives.

Can't help it. Oh, good Lord. the last time that we came we were coming back from the last live tour this dude stopped me and brandon like one of the flight attendants he was like you guys hunting bears and he was obviously gay as shit and hunting bears like you know we're in our ponchos like we have a hair slick back we're in cowboy boots i thought it was like oh yeah like okay yeah we were in up here hunting but what the dude meant was like are you hunting bears like

I don't recall the center rat Where are we coming back from? We were coming back a couple weeks ago from this Was this like Denver or something? No, it was a gay flight attendant Well, I know that, but the city He was like, you guys Where was this?

This is a couple weeks ago Like one of the last things that we did Oh, fuck. Yeah, no, I don't remember the center of Is this the one where the flight attendant gave you guys like 20 bottles of That guy was cool as shit. Okay.

So I didn't realize... Yeah, I didn't realize what he was saying. It was like, are you guys hunting bears? Because I thought it was a hunting thing. But no, he meant... Did you say, yeah? Large gay black people. No, bears are just...

I don't think bears is... I don't think it's racial would be a bear. I think it's just large hairy men that are gay. Nick is a bear. Yeah, Nick would be a bear. Were you hunting nicks? I said black, didn't. Very strong.

You did. Okay. Don't say black. I said black. By Zach Brian. Oh, by Zach Brian. By Zach Brian. Merry Christmas, everyone.

I hope you're all in the holiday spirit. It's like the one joke. It's like, why is there black bears? Black bears, brown bears. What are white bears called? Polar. They're the only one with a different name that's just not associated with that. If you see there's a skit, there's a joke on that.

a dude does a whole comedy bit around that. Have you seen that for the racist? A good retelling of the joke. I'm not good at that. The punchline was delivered. No, I wasn't trying to. That's also just not true. Brown bear.

Codiac bear. We never call your panda bear. But you don't go white bears. Name one person. Oh shit, a brown bear. A black bear. Not, oh shit, a white bear. Name one time.

I don't know that anybody says brown bear. It's grizzly. A grizzly bear? What are the little ones? are those the same thing there's no little brown bear brown bears are grizzly bears grisly yeah there's grizzly there's grizzly bear that's slightly larger because it's on codiac island yeah codiac bears only exist on codiac island otherwise it's a grizzly bear a small brown bear also brett and i we researched this a couple years ago the me nick versus ai round two on elize phone

let's go the the round the bullet that could take down a bear the one you want to take with you 10 mil yeah we went with 10 mil that's what we figured out we had some debate or like pistol cartridge pistol pistol oh okay we had some we had some debate as to whether or not it would be better for a female to have a 10 mil

or a 5 7 depends on the female definitely but like just for your average female because I thought like okay I'm not sure if a 5 7 can penetrate through the skull but it is like if you have the right caliber or this excuse me the right projectile you know armor piercing maybe it punches the skull better and lower recoil than, you know, big, scary 10 mil. I don't have much experience with 5-7.

Is it more prone to jamming, though? No. No? No, okay. Five-seven is not a good round against a barrier, though. That's what we ultimately went to. Like, if you're a small female, like, wondering around where there are bears, a 10-mill would probably be the best.

Yeah. If you're a guy, 10-mills is the obvious choice, but I was worried about the follow-up shots and recoil and everything like that. and at least 5-7 had the added advantage of, you know, it could possibly pierce through a bear skull, but, like, still not great. Like, that's obviously not optimal. This is what guys talk about it. Yeah. Okay. The 5-7 really doesn't do much damage, like, fucking period, at anything.

I've met guys who have been shot in the head with 5-7 and has arrived. Did I ever tell you guys that story? I did, no. I was like a fucking teenager. Merry Christmas. Yeah, I was a teenager at a fucking guy. gun store and I'm looking at all these guns that I can't afford like I'm just they're cool to me at the time I had like maybe one guy one one gun that I own and everything else is just like oh this is

shit that I'll I'll never own this fast forward but I remember checking out the five seven pistol which to be fair like as an adult I'm not really a fan of it's very plasticity if you've never when you don't know much it's very cool yeah exactly I'm just like call a duty five seven Pistol. Oh, my God. High magazine capacity. The slide's plastic. The pistol's plastic. It's very kind of just clunky and there's a lot of features about it I don't like. But it was cool at the time.

And I remember asking to see it. And you know, the gun store employee is like rolling his eyes. Like, ah, this kid's not going to buy anything, but sure, whatever. And this guy next to me just goes, 5, 7, shit. Like, what? What do you mean? He's like,

doesn't do any damage. That can't take a man, whatever, something like that. And like, what are you talking about? Like, I've, I've never heard this. Like, what, where are you basing this off of? He takes, he takes off his baseball cap and points to several gunshot, like, very clear gunshot wound scars in his face.

He's like, couldn't kill me. Oh. Fucking core memory engraved in my brain. I'm like, show me your 10-mill. All right. Oh. All right. Is that the fucking meme where it's like, I pull,

at my 5.7, I shoot the guy. I should just give him my wallet because 5-7 costs so much. Oh, yeah. That's when like $5.7 is like two bucks a round. Isn't it still $2? You can get like 45, 50 cents a round now. Oh. It's come down a lot.

Which thank God if you have a, you know, a P90 where every magazine's 50 rounds, shit adds up. That shit gets expensive. Fast, fast. Brandon, why do you keep sending me money through cash app with it saying just deckwork.

Wait, is that not you doing all my yard work? On the real, I think we all do use cash app. It's a quick way to pay friends if they owe you money. Finn! Where's my money? You told me you could beat the house. You know the saying, Fen always wins. Real talk, though, I've used cash app like this week. Yeah, I think actually that's what we use to pay our boxing instructors.

We also use it on vacation to pay for rides and just random things. It's like, hey, let's split this Uber. Let me wire you $20. It's the two best things. it's easier and it's free. Why'd we go to Vegas to build decks? And why were you building decks at two in the morning? She was Hispanic.

I thought she was just good at it. Why were you skiing in the snow at 4 a.m.? The cash app can do way more than you think to make your money work for you. If you direct deposit at least $300 in paychecks each month and use the cash app card for purchases, you can earn up to 4% annual interest on your savings. Also, you can hit your savings goals even faster.

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See terms and conditions at cache.com slash legal slash U.S.S. card dash agreement. Direct deposit overdraft coverage and discounts provided by Cash app. Visit cash app.com slash legal slash podcast for full disclosure. What do you guys do for Christmas episode? I'm just excited we're here for Christmas. My favorite holiday right now. Fucking pumped. get you happy we'll get everyone happy so you're grumpy it's okay i think the boys are just reeling up for a live show tomorrow oh yeah what do we got tomorrow very excited i get to watch you three get up early which i do every day and then i get to watch you three live in the cold which i also do every day and i get to revel in it as you guys hate your lives all of those

things sound miserable i know well very excited to watch you guys do it as long as the flights go smooth. That's all I give a good. Say it out loud again. I'm sure that'll make it work. It's not like we have a layover. We don't have a American do we? Thank you. We do have a layover, I believe. Dallas. Yeah. Is tomorrow Boston and New Jersey?

Boston. We're doing Boston. We're shipping up to Boston. We had the best flight back from D.C. Every time we fly back from D.C. together, it's a shit, man. Oh, yeah, I didn't go to that. What happened? Me and Eli, we were up there for, we were invited by, you know, General George and everybody up to the Army's, I think it's the holiday reception. It's like a Christmas party, which was a fun time. It's good to see everybody again, but it was our flight home.

We're leaving Reagan Airport, and our flight's already delayed two hours, right? And I've got to go to rock island film some stuff he just wants to go the fuck home we are there i'm sorry to interrupt because i watched that video did you buy that gun or they just let you touch it i didn't i didn't buy it they went too high oh okay what did it go to 90 90 grand you should have bought it uh after with it i realized it was no go ahead and write that down on list of shit you're gonna regret for the rest of your life it's fine i told zach that because zach was with me and that i'm like this is i'm like, I know financially right now this doesn't make sense for me to do. And I know five years from now I will regret this. Two things can be true. Okay, good. I also know that.

One Bitcoin. Literally a whole Bitcoin. But the, yeah, but there's 21 million Bitcoin. There's only one Thompson chambered in 30 out six. It's a long story. But on the flight back from DC is delayed two hours. And then me and Eli sit in this fucking place. plane on the tarmac as they have to they have to de-ice it like the trucks have to come out there and de-ice every plane individually and there's only one truck that does it we are we see c of all airports dude it seems like a busy airport that could splurge on two trucks that might have some important things happening around right 1025 and we get pushed back it's like hey now you have to be there at 11 we follow that to a t we walk around the corner it's like okay they

should be just about boarding door is closed still I'm like, that's not a good side. Huh. I guess it's not 11. 12.30, we're on the plane finally. Yeah, it was like a two hour delay, which is fine. That happens in airports. Whatever.

We are on this tarmac for three hours. I do this. We should almost be there. I'm still here. Brandon, did the person in front of me with the small dog put down a piss pad? Oh, I forgot about that too. Wait, wait, wait. Oh, this was a journey of a fucking trip.

It was a, there was a fat guy in front of us, like, fat ball guy that just had his little, like, yappy dog, like a little Yorkie or whatever the fuck it was. I didn't see, because he was behind me and in front of you, you're like, did he just laid down a fucking piss bit? Because this little yippy dog was barking during the flight. And I'm like, okay, because of how shrill that is and how sporadic it is, I would say that's actually worse than small infant child. also you have a choice to leave your dog at home anyway the yeah lays down a piss pad

halfway through the flight well motherfuckers shits I like okay they're finally serving drinks this is after three hours they did not do anything for us on the tarmac

that was nope just sit there and wait halfway through the flight hey Brandon texting him. Did the dog just shit? Or am I smelling stuff? I read this text message and as soon as he sends it, I smell it and like, mother fuck. Wait, how long is this flight? Two and a half hours. Two and a half, three hours? Something like that. Yeah, three hours. We spent more time on

the tarmac than we did in the air. What do you do with the shit bed? I don't know. You have the worst luck on flights. I feel like half the time I fly with you, you get sat by the most ridiculous cartoon characters on the planet and I get I get to I get to look over my shoulder and chuckle because it's always like I always get to sit next like Zach or Brandon or somebody I know and I like and it's just Eli get sat next to a random and I look over and it's Eli like like this with a hat on and his phone down here pretending to be asleep but dicking off on his phone at the same time so he doesn't have to talk to somebody it's hilarious that lady that one chick was right that one woman Oh my God

I sit down like Peace Oh you're in the army A doctor I'm like well that's weird Oh god she's sitting next to me She's already trying to interrupt and save people Did we talk about that on the podcast ever?

I don't think we have Have we talked about that? No The husband's the doctor? Yeah No the guy they cut his Fucking His hand A grown ass man child who had a boo boo

Literally paper cut This is like Dude Nick this is a like on our way back from denver a drop of blood drop of blood max they're holding up the entire flight and they bring him up and he's like what am i gonna do fucking my neighbor my husband's a doctor let me look at it i'm like bitch what she pulled me my husband's an officer sexually transmitted medical expertise what oh so so me and brandon are sitting on the left side so we're like one and two and we're looking at eli he's sitting

next to this woman, the thing she's a medical professional. This dude just comes sprinting to the front. This is during boarding. Like, everyone's just trying to go where they need to go. Like, most of the boarding's already happened. Yeah, like, they're holding up now. Yeah. Yeah, there's still, like, 10 people that need to get on board.

This guy comes sprinting to the front. And he's like, I cut my hand. I cut my fingee. I cut my fingee. And so the chick next to Eli is like, I'm a medical professional. Hold on. Everyone hold on. Everyone hold on. I'm a nurse. Now he's holding up the entire line now. I'm seeing what he's talking about. He's just like holding his finger like this and there is one little dribble, like one little spot of blood on his pants. And he is freaking out. Literally

it's like if I cut my finger like pricked it for like a diabetes test and pushed it into my thigh. Like that's that's it. And how condescending the pilot was. Oh, do that. When the pilot walked out to like assess the situation, he just goes, oh. Mm. Yeah. Yes, sir. This is a serious problem. Would you like some orange juice? And the guy's like, yeah, I would. Like, I had no idea he was being condescended. They held up the plane for it, too. Yeah.

We were stuck for 15 minutes more because they did that shit. Oh, and then she sat down. Oh, yeah, yo, boo boo. Oh, yo, bobo, oh, you bobo, I had one time on one flight where they're like, if there's any medical professionals on the plane, please go to the back of the plane. And I was with Pew View and his camera guy, Dalton and Calvin and like two other people. And they all look at me. And I'm like, God damn it. Fine.

I walked to the back of the plane. There was a doctor on the plane that was already there. I was like, cool. Peace out. You got it. Way better than me. Goodbye. Unless he's shot in the chest, I'm probably not going to be able to do anything, but call him a bitch.

Which that's all I'm good at. GSW on an airplane is wild. Like, unless there's been, something's gone horribly wrong. not going to help. I'm really just good. It's a lot of trauma. How do I get that on? But I like, I like, are you a doctor? I was like, I was a medic in the army if you need something. And the doctor's like, they're like, I'm a doctor. This chick just ate too many edibles. And she's laying down a, like in front of the two bathroom stalls with like the snack cart, laying down crying. She had too many edibles. And I was like, ha. And I just laughed. How does that

Apis. If someone has a gunshot wound, you're like, how'd you get that on? Because I'm about to change the whole trajectory. Where are we going with? You guys are her at G-1? Yeah. Well, yeah, I don't know if we should include any of that part. Well, that lady, they filmed.

That's how we get on the no-fly list and can't do our job. You guys filmed the lady talking to me in my face, but we did. it's not just the one lady it was also the guy talking about he knows 37 ways to kill a man with a knife it's happened like five times stem to sternum i believe was the exact words it's happened like to you like five times it's hilarious every time so happy he found other dude that then they started talking across the aisle to each other about being over you military badasses just two two dudes and grunt style shirts talking about how awesome they would have been if they joined the military it was I've killed a man

I know 36 ways To skid a man Stend to sternum Like all right That's how I know you suck dick Let me write that down on shit That's not appropriate to talk about Very loudly on a fucking airplane

Or like ever Frankly Oh the DC flight there And then you got stuck To the next to the lady That was having a full on panic attack too That did happen I did feel kind of bad about that

She She was very anxious like the lady next to me was like freaking out like she wanted to stop the plane she's like can I get off I'm like oh fuck but she's like she's freaking out she's like I'm not used to doing this by myself whatever and I will say in her defense very nice lady like she's

going through some stuff and you know that that happens but stopping the plane over it's a little wild you could have been helpfully unhelpful that would have been way better I'm not used to doing this by myself look at the bright side if you die you'll be alone your loved ones will survive that's good

The fucking Shane Gillis kid I'm coming out to wear your ass out Just call people and tell them you hate them But it was funny because The guy next to me Like we were both like Trying to be like a little helpful Like you know it's okay

Like you'll be all right You know Nothing crazy We'll get the flight attendant for you something We ended up having to like switch seats with them And shit like that Or excuse me switch seats with her But when she went up

Like the flight attendant took her up to go talk to or something like that. And the guy looked at me, he's like, yeah, I'm not the sensitive type either. He's like, I don't know what to do here. Yeah, that held up the flight for like five, ten minutes. It was a good time, though. I mean, that was, we both said it. It was a scene from Band of Brothers, like when they're back celebrating.

Because you didn't know they swapped back to the traditional, like the dress greens. Yeah. And they look way better. Dude. Did you ever hear the reason? I guess what was the dress uniform and you got out for the army? I had the greens, but it was the, not those style of greens. It was like the in 2000s.

Yeah, yeah. I had the, I had the black top with the light blue pants. See, we didn't have those. I had those. And it was like the dumbest logic for a uniform ever. Everybody thought we were the Air Force. And they were like,

well, it's actually like an homage to back in like the Wild West and the, you know, riding horseback days because the uniforms were black, but people would take their coat off. put it in their backpack so the coat would stay black and then the pants would get sun sun bleached blue so that's why the pants are blue and the jacket's black and it's just like just go back to army green bro like dude and that's what's like these ones was that general george yeah he would show me the pictures like yeah those uniforms fuck so hard but if you took out

because like they have such like traditional like um you know they had the the live instruments you know everybody brought their wives and everything the christmas tree in a very classical, uh, historic building. And the, and soldiers still yell like, and a partridge, and a perj. Randy was having a good time. Like, but if you remove the PA systems and like, just like one or two minor details, you're like,

if you told me I was teleported back to 1943, I would believe you. Hey, guys, you want to see something? Not again. Those are true classics. Oh. You want to touch it, Brandon? Cody, you want to touch it? Oh.

Brandon? Show, you have a degree in HR, right? That's right, today's sponsor. It's True Classic. Cody, what are you wearing? I'm wearing a True Classic shirt right now. It fits really well around the arms and the chest. It makes you look bigger than you are.

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They're just generic unisex stuff. They're not really cut to look good. True Classic stuff is actually tailored to fit the male form, which is, you know, actually helpful if you want to not look like a slob. Peak male performance. But now imagine my dick, because that's where I'm wearing underwear. Yeah. Now imagine my dick.

Eli Quabas, 2025. Trueclassic.com. Use code on sub. Now, we've been messing around with T-shirts and been in that industry for years now, and we can truly say that True Classic has some of the greatest material and greatest fitting that we've ever seen. So forget overpriced designer brands. Skip the cheap throwaway stuff. True Classic is built for comfort, built to last, and built to give back.

You can even find them at Target or Costco, or you can go to True Classic.com slash unsub to try for yourself. If you want to level up your clothes for the summer or coming into the fall weather, head over to trueclassic.com slash unsub. Yeah, tell us about that. guys what did you guys go to well first off we got a hotel in the wrong area well it was a nice area but there's two buildings with the exact same name we found that one out that was my fault sorry about that i double check too so in like in your defense i landed i was like okay let's see how far it is so we can judge this nap i don't know what we're allowed to say what we're not but there was a certain hall that is a fairly common name and there was two of them in dc like two completely

separate buildings that are event venues. We chose the wrong one. It was five minutes from one. 45 minutes. Yeah. So we were fashionably late, which thankfully ended up not mattering, but. They were like, oh, just don't worry about it. Stick around.

This goes on for a while. So just have fun. And then it's walking in. Because they had multiple like foreign, you know, generals, dignitaries, you know, several congressmen, stuff like that at these. But they were doing multiple per day. So they were cycling people in and out at. the same holiday reception thing.

Just kind of a cool way to do it. And pulling up to the military gate and they were like, well, we know these guys. Come on. And that was it. That was all it took. Come on, come on. Come on. Taxi driver drops us off. And they're just like, excuse me, sir,

a state your business. No, no, no, no, no. They're cool. We got them. But could you see you guys like that? And then we drove. And then it was just awesome seeing everyone. And it's it was wild too because you look over and like three stars

okay hey four stars okay sergey major a whole bunch of you okay we're casually that was just a

Christmas party yeah pretty much okay we're casually talking you guys are talking about it no one said it was a Christmas

party or anything I think I did it earlier I don't know I can't remember but there was like but there you're just like the people that you just randomly talk

to people that come up and just say hi you're like oh how's it going man oh it's good to meet you this this this and you just like look over and you just see the stars on their shoulder

like, ooh, that's sir. Hello. It's just that weird, weird experience because we all got out of the military. Very low rank. Ha. I don't know, Eli, what are we? E4 Mafia.

Yep, E4 Mafia. Failing to where we are. But it was a blast and super appreciate the invite from Driscoll George and General George Secretary Driscoll Sergeant Major Weimer

Sergeant Major Weimer Are we going back to the Pentagon? Yes They're going to let us do it again We need to choose something less Gay than White Claw I will say Whiskey

I've been saying that for three years Well Don't look at me been saying that for three years I drink whatever's in front of me Hey well now we have echelon All right I'm not tied to white claw anymore Bam we'll bring echelon of vodka or whiskey

I don't care Whatever I feel like I feel like we did a disservice Not having like a nice whiskey in the Pentagon Also I do feel bad because they They had to buy it Whoever our liaison was Like not the government didn't buy it

But the person that invited us to One 30 rack of bush light please Oh God Just so you can say you drank that at the Pentagon It's evolving backwards. Can you please put a piss funnel in the media room? Bro, the Pentagon could use

a piss funnel. I don't think where we were at in the Pentagon, a piss funnel would have gone anywhere. You would have to travel upward quite a bit. No, drove through the floor. It's called a well. It'll work. Hear me out. We were down there with the transformers. Come on, man. It's not that like, all right,

we're going down. Okay, boop, boop. Boop? How far down did you just take me? That was a paw. My phone gets an alert. Like, I have no cell phone or say it's in SOS mode. I was like, all right. I do love that one moment where we're in that elevator.

It sucks. We're still going down and all of us just kind of go. It's like all of us. Literally all of us just went. The dude escorting us is like, all right, guys, this way. and I was like, well, this is either going to be a dope-ass studio or a concrete room with black burlap sacs and they're going to be over my head in a minute

and we'll see how this goes. It's like Goodfellas. Open the door. Oh, fuck. Who does on some work for? Oh, no. The bubble wrap room from Dexter. Ah, shit.

How'd you get in here? We're so sorry. That could have been what happened and, you know, Cyops just took over. Dick joked too close to the sun. we flew till too high dude oh and Alex Miller was there and he is oh yeah cool as fucking dude so shout out to Alex CTO of the army yeah yeah really cool guy well again a fellow podcast or a podcast alumni yep and we might have access to some pretty can't talk about

that but can we say some dope stuff might be in the works yeah yeah some dope stuff might be in the works like stuff that we can collaborate with you know with the army to you know both help their recruiting stuff and help them out with some of the projects they're trying to do, but also it gets us access, and by extension, the audience, access to some cool stuff that I think you might enjoy. So we'll see how that goes. Stuff, you've never seen before. I have an open invite to go to HK to get in their fucking history room or whatever. The gray room? If you want to go, yeah. I would love to go to the great room. Yeah. They said we can do habitually fat there. You can go with us if you want. I would literally cut off an appendage to go there.

Yeah, we can go there. Can we all go? Yeah. Also, how the fuck? Mm. Nick is still the only person I know, and I know the pro shooters of HK, and they have to buy their fucking gun, or they might get it, but you don't. You're the only one is like, I got this from HK.

I have a, I've had a lot of fantastic gun sponsorships. Never HK. Brandon, have you heard of that before? No, I've had to buy all my HK shit, which is fine. That's cool, but fuck you, Nick. Yeah, they sent me. their new AR. It's really nice. I like it a lot. I'm like, mother. H.K. is definitely what I spent the most money on HK guns. FN finally hit me up. That'd be cool. Yeah, they're like, do you have time

shot show? I'm like, I've, I've been by. Yeah, they text. After Scott put a suppressor on their threaded barrel and it broke and then they're like, well, you're not supposed to put a suppressor on it after that debacle. Was that FN? Almost positive that was FN. I don't recall. I don't think they said that because that's one thing. They've been great to work with like Christina, big shout to her. They've been great to you. Yeah, great to me

to work. I just feel like the fucking red-headed stepchild that gets let out you know, pushed out of everything. I'm like man, because they send you like one of everything new and I'm like, man, I have spent a lot on fucking FN stuff. Like I've got a 249

saw. Every scar that's ever, you know, the P90, everything. I'm like, man. You went L-cunning with a scar heavy? I know. I wish it was a scar had. 20-S. Yeah, 20-S, that's it. The big, the DMR motherfucker, that was a bad call. Makes that heavy look like a light.

It's a big-ass rifle. I love their, I love their lineup. And, yeah, can't get a callback. I feel like, yo, FN, I wrote, you still ain't calling. Dude, that was my favorite time of going to a gun store was, hey, I think a 509 came in. I'm like yeah Also

This is all for you too It was a P90 Two ARs and a 57 plus the 509 I was like And a partridge in a pear tree I was like oh wow Old man at that really remote location He's like

Why don't you know about these I was like I had no idea They were sending those Wait they just sent them to you Like yeah Yeah He's like an 80 year old boomer That just has a gun store

Out in Spring Branch just by himself like why'd they send these to you i'm batman it's like yay yay effing's good but good job nick you got hk somehow hooking you up with shit no one's ever we get to go in the gray room too we're gonna go do an episode of habitually fat in the gray room all like all their historic guns i'm so excited to now be tangentially related to this if they have their original land it's all of their hk experimental military weapons in this like museum room there's three there's this land only three of hmm i want to see the i want to see the space magic gun oh yeah is that

called the g11 yeah yeah the crowd space magic mm-hmm the grandfather twalk they were like soldiers will be able to write this so simple the minecraft gun you're like fuck that's yeah those like mouse trap perpetual motion machines speaking of i watched uh I watched, uh, Ian's video on the new, what's the new army service rifle? The M7 or the XM7. I watched his video on it. And I was like, yep, 100% like, not a fan. No.

No, I feel like I had a pretty detailed video breaking down. I think relatively objectively, you know, all the problems with it. Because, you know, if you're going to replace the AR 15 with like the M4 platform or whatever, that's a pretty high bar, right? It's got to be pretty good. So if I can move the rail that's supposed to be dialed with lasers and shit, you know, that soldiers,

you know, bet their entire lives on, you know, being able to hit their targets with pecks and shit like that at night when they're doing very intense missions and also, you know, being able to put in the magazine without it killing the fucking gun, be like those are important things.

Well, that and his point of like, they wanted to have a gun that they could get in a gunfight with it past 300 meters because that's what we they dealt with in Afghanistan and he's like just just grab a fucking hundred dollar drone and fly it over there into him like that's the new meta why are we not doing that it it kind of made a little bit of sense with what they were trying to do with the the trials early on because they were saying like okay they realized at what range our soldiers were most lethal at to my understanding of it they're like our best kds were at longer range

because as it turns out when you're fighting sheep fuckers um marksman's ship is not something they train on quite a lot and especially when they all have burned out AKs from the 70s, M-O-A is a social construct but they put it at a 7 give them more power when they shoot

that fucking story. I can't remember where that was. It was Africa or something, yeah, but it was the fouls or the G3, I think it was the fouls where they just put everything to 10. Yeah, it makes it shoot harder. We were missing. Also, the

XM7 weighs four pounds more. It's ungodly heavy. It's what we love as still-godly heavy. I know so many people, like, Pue of you hates he, I fucking love the ACog. Pew Vue hates it. I love the ACUG. Why does he hate it? Eye relief isn't that great on it.

But it's just like, what? I relief isn't great on the 556 one. The 762 one, like the 308 version, much better. Is it? Yeah. Oh, yeah. But, I mean, like, what it doesn't take batteries

it does it. It just works. It's fucking indestructible and it's like I don't I don't care how durable you make that new optic with the rangefinder and all the bullshit in it like the motherfucker's gonna break. Though you're gonna get in a firefight and it's gonna be like you need to update the software

or some shit like every time. Oh, that would be a motherfucker. That's exactly what would happen. Oh, I'm sorry, you need the software update. 34 more minutes before you can use your optic. It's what's going to happen. Oh, I'm sorry. You disconnected from Wi-Fi.

We've got to reset it all over again. I'd be so pissed. It's not fucking. I don't like it. It's also heavy as shit. Yeah. I have a fuck. So, go ahead.

I saw it fucked him in World War Z. Yeah. What? They were relying on optics that had to update and, like, do all this modern shit. You're talking about the book, right? Yeah. Okay. The book.

Oh, don't. That's part of what I. I read that, like, a long time ago. I don't remember anything like that. Yeah, so the army relied heavily on optics that, like, went into your command, and everyone had, like, VR optics, and they're, like, trying to figure out what everyone's doing in the battlefield, and that's why World War Sea, like, that's why the Battle of Yonkers failed.

No shit. Yeah, because everyone was relying on these, like, super futuristic optics. Considering that came out in, what, like, 2007? It's a little ahead of its time. Yeah. Now use drone warfare Man made horrors Beyond your comprehension

I know this is unpopular But it's always just like We might have an enemy that has body armor And it's like I mean They have head armor Like we can figure it out You know what I'm saying Like I mean that and even like in policing

And everything else Like everybody's going for pelvis meta now Like pelvic bowl Yeah That's uh Can't armor your cock Well I mean that's not a widely adopted thing these days

but like when I went to SWAT school that's what they told it's like shoot them in the fucking dick you're gonna go down you break into my house that's what I'm doing it's fucking 12 gauge pelvis yeah start with the pelvis and then work up to the head that's

I'm not fucking around that's that's the actual meta I've got a semi auto shotgun with a suppressor and earmuffs next to my bed I have a whole bunch of suppress guns for my bets I'm gonna choose so Yeah, mine's the fucking 8-6 boombox. And again, it's, it's all pelvis.

Too much penetration. Not right. It's too much. It was the only round that made it all the way through the house. I never heard anyone complain about that. Me and Demo Matt did it. It was 8.6 and 50, Cal were the only ones that shot through the neighbor's house. That's why you aim low.

Have you ever woke up and felt like your mattress punched you in your sleep? I still think it was my wife, but yeah. Eli, do you have the mattress? Right here. A pillow? No, that's an Eli-sized mattress. Exactly. Eli, can I fill the pillow?

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That's ghostbed.com slash unsubscribe. Sleep better, stay cooler. Or Cody's going to- Ollie your ass- Ghostbett.com. How's fucking Matt doing? You guys talked to him recently? Oh, Demo.

He was at our last Christmas. Actually, yeah, he was on the last Christmas episode, I think. Let me text him real quick. Do you want to just wish him a Merry Christmas real quick? You mean FaceTime? Yeah. FaceTime. You know, he retired to step away from this internet bullshit to spend time with his family.

Let's interrupt that. Wow. How horrible of him. Let's interrupt that piece he just acquired. It's okay. We can bring him back at faith. Dude, whatever he does next. But he's enjoying it.

Talking to him last time, it was just enjoying. relaxing, chilling, doing his thing, he'll get over it. I'll want to come back. I talked to him about a month ago, and he's just like chilling with his kids, just having a good time. Yeah, and he said he's got so much stuff, too, from the YouTube side, like whether it's selling, like, the old cars and stuff like that he used for the channel, like just random bullshit.

Like, you know how our lives go. Like, everything's so sporadic. It's like, if you ever quit doing this, you'd have to have a couple months just to iron everything out and figure out where everything is anyway. What are you doing, motherpugger? Who's this guy? House self. Whatever.

How self? Do you say something? I think it would be the... I think he's going to appreciate when he comes back. I think he's going to have that. It's going to be like, oh, I need to get back into the flow of this. And then hop back to it. Or do, what's it called?

Who was that? Outdoor boys? Outdoor? No. Oh, that? Yeah. I don't know. Okay.

Oh, the guy? Anybody know that guy? I thought you guys knew that guy. No, I thought you did. I don't even live here. I don't even live here. Anyway. All right.

No, but he said he might get back into, when he comes back, he might get into veterinary stuff again. Oh, that'd be kind of... You'd think he's going to come back? I was... I'm not going to say I had much success, but I was trying to sweet took because he was like, he really liked doing the

like the surgery stuff for animals, like where you could do it for free and put it on YouTube before they got more strict with like monetization rules than what he was allowed to show. And he misses that a lot. And I was like, I mean, I have a platform.

I'll let you upload it. Ooh. And he's like, oh, so I was trying to sweet talk him into it. I don't think he took it, but I was trying. It was a good idea. No matter what, the first thing he ever does, if he makes a comeback of any kind, whether it's the gun stuff, I know he was kind of like kind of fading out of that a little bit. Like the love, there wasn't like the love affair with guns toward the end, which is understandable.

The first video he has to do back, he has to make that rip on John Wick, like, yeah, I'm thinking I'm back. It's a good idea. You're trying to get me to kill his dog? Then he can save it. Then he can save it as a veterinarian. I wake up with a bag over my head and demo standing over me. He's like, where's Nick?

I'm like, God damn it, dude. Nick did it. Let me text. The gang brings Demo back. Nick sends his regards. Why are you going after my boy? Well, sir, he stole that character's car and shot his dog. oh man oh uh mr nick what is something you're getting for the kiddos i know the kids are

going to want a bunch of christmas presents ask my wife i don't do shopping well they have to have something we're like dad i want this like you i know last year you got them the ninja the og what were they called like the pirate oh like the play school pirate's castle set yeah i got that last year i don't know I only, the only thing I really buy for them is I, I buy them, like, old gaming stuff. So, like, they have old, um, game boys. So I buy them, I like go to GameStop and buy 15 year old Game Boy games. That's a fucking cool ass present. That's all they're allowed to play is old Game Boy stuff.

Yeah, because, because my boy is 16. So I don't know what to give them other than a punch in the face. So that's, that's, that's, yeah, I never even thought about that. Have you seen the, the new Game Boys? The ones that play like 15,000. No, no, no. What's the, the meta guy's name?

Oh, so it's Palmer Lucky. So it's, uh, fuck. I think it's like retro, mod retro. Like, this is not sponsored, by the way. I don't have one. I don't know how it is, but whatever. But they're like advertising the shit out of it on social media right now.

He basically, he basically made an OG game boy color, but he made it out of like, it's like some fancy aluminum. and it's got like an actual sapphire crystal for a screen and it plays just Game Boy and Game Boy Color games. Oh shit. It's like 200 some odd dollars and it's like a super high end Game Boy Color.

I fucking love it was cool. I fucking love Palmer because he's involved in like such a variety of crazy shit. Yeah, he's he's re-releasing the Game Boy Color 30 years after it came out. Also, he's trying to make more javelin missiles for the United States military. He's like radically involved with the military industrial complex. He'll, he'll, like, text me about crazy shit he's working on. And also, he's like, oh, yeah, by the way, like, and then we start talking about Game Boys. It's kind of cool.

Oh, you know him? I wouldn't say, like, we're tight, but we talk. Let's get some Un-Sub ones going. Oh, dude, we need to have him on On Sub. That's fucking rad. Yes. Palmer, if you're out there, I would love to have you on Un-Sub. Also, sweet Mollet.

His, it is, that's the funniest part to me. That is a... Check out his Twitter. Or is Mollet. Go on X and check out his profile picture and, like, cover art. Have you seen that? No. I have never heard of this, dude.

He is the funniest billionaire. Where did he get his money from? Oculus, Mod, and... Yeah, like, he, I think he founded Oculus and, like, just a bunch of, involved in a bunch of crazy shit, but he's a, he seems like, like a 16 year old billionaire kind of in the same way as Jared like Jared Isaacman where it's just like oh like looking around his aircraft hanger and like

his Star Wars themed canteen you're like you know what if I became a billionaire at 16 absolutely yes I would also have a grand theft auto fucking hanger of fighter jets and a Star Wars canteen as my personal bar oh yeah he's big into the defense

industry well shit we haven't talked about that either fucking Jared oh yeah that's right damn yeah since the last time that we had a podcast we didn't discuss that i i kind of felt bad about that because we went to his hangar when we did that uh episode with tim she he and jared and everything like that yep um but what we didn't say what what happened in between us filming that episode recovering the lost footage and everything like that and uploading it is jared got renominated by trump to be the head of nassah so he's in the middle of this right yeah the he's in the

middle of his Senate hearing right now actually as we speak I'm pretty sure it's they're they're moving forward is uh excuse me his confirmation in the Senate yeah two days ago Senate panel advances nominee in his second run to lead NASA so I don't know him as well as you guys do but isn't he like he's not in like very involved in like politics he's just been like he made a ton of money doing aerospace stuff like he just no he didn't no not aerospace okay sorry stripe no no is a shift for pay before I okay but ever since then he's been like heavily involved in aerospace stuff and like fighter jets and all that yeah he just loves the aerospace industry so like he's like somebody that's actually qualified to do the job yeah not only he's been to space twice and he's like one of the only civilians to ever do a space but that's the point I'm saying like I almost feel bad for anybody that's like actually qualified for a job that just gets nominated by Trump because they're going to get drug through the mud for no other reason than the fact and it was that guy that they tried to drag him through the mud just because like you're for it with Shrub, your friends with Elon, all that shit. But to be honest, he's one of the most intelligent men I've ever met in my life.

Like, he's a real one. He's alarmingly intelligent, but he's also incredibly humble. Like, for being a billionaire who's got, like, we're at his place full of fighter jets and all this cool shit he's got going on. You just think he works there. And the best part. Like, he's super chill. The company founded in 1999 by then 16-year-old Jared Isaacman.

He's just four fucking genius So anything that does He was the one He was like Oh there's no process Ways to process From the internet

To businesses I'll just do that And then his dad Would drive him To the locations And then present the information Because he was 16 So

He's like oh dad You just do the pitch I'll do the back end And then you're just Taking me around I think that's what he said It was like Yeah I was kind of just

Sitting in the room He was like Oh my son had to come along That was it damn rad like he's he's he's been involved in a lot and they they did they did all the like um not i'm not gonna not gonna say all of it but they did a lot of like op for stuff for the air force yeah i knew that yeah uh what is it he has like the only like some of the only migs or something that the u.s has he owns them so they use it he like gets contracted by the government

so they can get looks at these different aircrafts the mig 29 which i believe is their gem four fighter um he did have like the only one now i think he's got like three he has the only three still has the only potato potato it's it's fucking wild and the guy you could just tell like he just has such a passion for both space and flying like he just that's his tism man it's just like me with guns can we get history can we get him in a flat earther on the same podcast i feel like that could be exciting i made a joke about that with him i was just like so how many times you've been you have you've been to space? Okay, this many times,

including your spacewalk. Okay, cool. So, how much is the New World Order paying you to lie about space? Because you know there are people. I'm surprised. I didn't really see that in the comments, but you know there are people that are like,

you know, 100%. Yeah, he did two spacewalks. Didn't he join the Navy or Air Force also, which is really cool? Or he went to college to get something and then in order to Jared?

Yeah, I swear to God he was talking about that. Not at top of my head. I don't know. I mean, you read this. It's just insane. He has done so much. He is... He has the 12th largest fighting fleet, 12th largest air force in the world,

and he's privately owned. Private citizen. Brother. In my opinion, for whatever that's worth, the guy is horrifically overqualified to be head of NASA. It's probably the most of, most qualified director of NASA we've ever had.

And yeah, no, I'm just, I'm happy to see him re-nominated. That's really cool. Yeah, if anyone, those are the individuals you want running it because don't worry about him getting corrupt. He's the one, he donated like, what, 270 million to the space camp? Well, it wasn't just space camp. It was that and like St. Jude's. That's a separate one.

Yeah, St. Jude. I don't know what it was for the space camp itself, but I don't know the specifics on the numbers, but he donated a shitload of money because that's one of the reasons why he took the, um, it was inspiration for, uh, that whole project of going to space. Uh, that's, that's where that came from. That was a partnership with St. Jude's. It's cool art. That was that, yep. Art, the guy nominated for, uh, you know, director of NASA has a Netflix documentary about taking a crew of astronauts to space for a cancer charity. It's like, yeah, okay, that's a good pick. Ready over 250 million to St. Jude's. The space camp, I want to say, was like 180 or 270. And it was

because Teehee. Oh, Shee Senator Tim Sheehe. Tim, yeah. Tim was like, hey, I have a friend this is going to close down. They need some donations.

Can you help? He's like, yeah, I got it. And then donate. Here's a GDP of a small country. Yeah. And you're like, yeah, we're good forever.

Ever. Okay. I put in a savings account. The residual interest is enough. Fucking insane. That's that next level of donation. Jesus.

We've donated a million dollars. Yeah, we're like, for autism and veteran charities, we're like, a million dollars is really cool. And he's like, oh, yeah, that's a great start. Just like, what a fucking Eddie from the boys? That's a nice starter watch. Good for you, little man. Appreciate that, bud.

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We wish you a hairless Christmas. We wish you a hairless Christmas. That's a good beat. Just wait until he gets to jingle bells. Why are we over-complicating this? Buy this and shave your balls. It's easy. Shave your balls. It works really well. If you think women don't care, they care. Shave your balls. Give the gift of smooth this season with the performance package 5.0 Ultra. Get 15% off with code unsub at manscape.com. That's 15% off plus free shipping at manscape.com slash unsubb and use code unsub. Because nothing says I care like a well-groomed man. Nick, any new videos you've worked on lately?

I just did a video on Frank Luke Best Fighter Pilot of World War I and another video on Colonel Sanders Oh, I know where this is going Wait, no you know I promise you, you don't know I promise you I have an idea

Was it his shootout? That was one of many things Okay, I love that You yell dog When does his video come out? Before Christmas, right before Christmas When is yours? It's after the live shows out, right?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, this is like the 20th. Oh, we can go over it. Carlin Sanders was born in the 1800s, and his father died at a young age. So his mother was working in a tomato factory. So at the age of five, he basically had to raise his four younger siblings. And that's where he got his passion for cooking.

And then when he was 12, his mother remarried and he didn't get along with his stepfather. age of 12, he said, fuck you, and he left home. And he began doing manual labor jobs on farms and railways. And then he falsified his birth certificate to join the United States Army, went to Cuba, and then came back and started working for the railroad. And he cussed like a sailor after serving in the military and kept getting fired from the railroad for beating the shit out of people repeatedly over and over and over again. And married a girl. They had a couple of kids. and then how old is he right now he's like 18 married a girl had a couple of kids and kept getting fired bouncing around from job to job and eventually his wife is like i'm not dealing

with this guy getting getting fired all the time i'm going to leave him so he gets a letter while he's on the road working for the railroad because he like got fired but got another job and gets this letter that you know his wife left him gave up their house and gave away all the furniture and in his autobiography he's like oddly mad about the furniture like he's like he's Like the getting rid of his furniture was like on par with taking his kids like he's like she gave away my furniture and the kids and she didn't have any right to give away my furniture like it's really upset about the furniture for some reason but he can't do anything about the furniture he can still do something about the kids so he fucking goes and like concox a plan that he's going to kidnap his kids and i believe in his autobiography says and i quote although i didn't really see it as kidnapping because they was mine so he goes to his father I mean, fair enough. Yeah.

So he goes to his father-in-law's house, and he's just, like, out in the woods. Obviously, he wasn't wearing the white suit, but in my head, he's wearing the white suit, like, out in a pile of a pile of a little bow at a pile of leaves in the woods, like, waiting for his kids to come out to play. He's, like, I picture him still with white hair, mustache fat, 18, 12, doesn't matter. That's Colonel Sanders. Waiting to kid. Bring out my kids before I give you the 11 secret nerds. A hundred percent. The kids never come out to play, and he's like, oh, fuck it.

I'm just going to go up to the door. So he goes up to the door, like, knocks. His father-in-law opens it. It was like, oh, hey, Harlan. How's it going? He's like, uh, good. So he, like, goes in the house and they, like, make small talk for a little bit. I just picture.

And he's like, go ahead. It's just the dad looking out and you just see Colonel Sanders peaking out from a tree. And they're like, going back and like, huh. It's like, slender man. Yeah, exactly. It's like, what the fuck's he doing out in the woods? So he like, fried chicken static just starts showing. He like goes in.

and like has small talk with his father-in-law and is like soon to be ex-wife for a little while and eventually he's like I don't know what to do so he just kind of like gets up he's like all right well I'm gonna leave and she's like well where are you going he's like I got a job in Illinois with the railroad and she's like nah you better stay here with me and then they just stayed married for another 37 fucking years and he just relentlessly cheats on her he called it tomcatting but he was everybody so I'm and catting that's what he called it all right so I mean makes sense. That's a southern term. Tomcat.

I've never heard Tomcat. Tom cats go out. It's a little southern turn. What is? It's like that old school mentality of like it's not cheating if it's different zip codes. Yeah, I guess back in the day where you could like go 12 miles down the road and have a whole different family and nobody'd ever fucking know. Yeah. Which happened a lot more than people. Trust me, as a guy that reads World War II memoirs, I get it.

I've heard like the amount of people that were like, yeah, it's. first child is actually named after his girlfriend from France, like all kinds of shit like that. But, uh, so doesn't have to kidnap his kids, gets his family back, keeps work for the railroad, gets fired at some point. He's like, I'm going to become a lawyer. So he does like correspondence, which is like through the mail, basically. You can become a lawyer back in the day. It's like online school, but analog, essentially. So it becomes a lawyer through the mail and then ends up losing his law license because he beats the fuck out of his own client in court. in court in court

him and his client got into an altercation he beat the shit out of him lost his law license so then he becomes a salesman for Michelin tires and that's going good he becomes like the regional sales guy for the south and then he loses his job because he's driving across a bridge and the bridge collapses

and it totals his car and he can't afford a new car so they're like well if you can't sell if you don't use our tires you can't be a tire salesman you're fired so they fired him instead of just giving him a new car I don't know why. It happened. Also, very bad luck.

What the fuck? We're still talking about Colonel Sanders, right? I feel like they're just looking for an excuse to fire him at that point. He was a very disagreeable person. It sounds like. He fought his client in court and lost his law license that took forever, I'm assuming. Like Nick said, disagreeable. So he, he fucking is like living in a small town, Kentucky, doesn't have a car.

So he hitchhikes to the big, like the next big city. I think it was Louisville. And he's hitchhiking there. And the first motherfucker to pick him up is like, oh, did you want to run my gas station? And he's like, sure, why not? I know where this part goes. Running this gas station. And it's like, it's competitive.

So he starts selling food. It becomes really popular. And then the, so he just stops at a gas station and the dude's like, no, it was a hit. He was hitchhiking and the dude that picked him up. Oh, the gas station was looking for. somebody to run the gas station. Even more wild to me. So he's like, yeah, I can run a gas station. It's like 1930, 1929. So he starts running this gas station, starts offering food. This is like kind of where the food thing really picks up. But then eventually he, the Great Depression happens, puts that gas station

out of business, but he did such a good job that Shell gets a hold of him. It was like, hey, we know you did a good job. We have a gas station that's like right on the interstate that's going to stay open through the Great Depression. We want you to run it. He's like, okay, cool. So he goes there, starts doing the same thing he's like serving food he's selling gas blah blah blah blah blah well he wanted to you know be competitive he wanted to be the best gas station around so he started putting up signs for you know like fucking whatever shell gas station we serve food blah blah blah well rural kentucky in 1930 people kept shooting up the fucking signs so much you couldn't read them so then he started paying farmers to put murals on the side of their barns because people

wouldn't shoot a farmer's barn because farmers shoot back is that the inception of that yeah because i remember growing up in the south like you just saw that shit everywhere in like the rural south yeah driving through north south carolina everyone has advertisements on their barns yeah you got like exception because old school people people shot up signs no that's and people won't shoot up a barn because they don't want to kill anybody or get shot at back so huh that's where that kind of started and then uh one of the other gas stations in town started going and paying the farmers to paint over his advertisements and he was getting pissed off so then one he colonel Sanders goes to this guy's gas station and tells him, I believe the direct quote is, I will blow your

fucking head off if you keep painting over my signs. And then Shell has two representatives come to like see what he's doing because his gas station's going so well. And while the Shell representatives are there, the employee comes in and tells him like, Colonel fucking what's his dick that runs a gas station's painting over your sign right now on this road. And Colonel and the two Shell executives get their guns and go confront him. And this one, I will add the context. This was in 1930. 31 is when this happened. And that was the quote that I knew about. The exact quote,

um, um, well you yell a dog. I see you're smearing that sign again is what starts a gun fight. The dude pulls a gun and shoots and kills one of the shell executives. So then Colonel Sanders shoots him and drops him and Colonel Sanders gets away with self-defense and this guy gets convicted a murder and later gets assassinated in prison by the shell executives family. I didn't know that part Yeah

It do be like that So then And then he basically takes over the entire area And I guess it was like a really rough area In Kentucky because there was so many bootleggers and stuff And like crime going on And there's like other There's multiple accounts of him confronting people

Trying to steal gas like in his underwear with a shotgun Like Colonel Sanders is just running shit Apparently at this point in time This guy this feels like You know they do that to like mascots of you know children's cereal and shit where they give them the prison tats and a gun no it's legit that that's what this sounds like you're you're making a fucking gangster backstory for colonel sanders so eventually he owns the gas station and then he ends up making more money on

the food than he was on the gas so he's like fucking i'm just going to open a restaurant he opens a 140 seat restaurant and then that goes really good so then he opens up a motel right next to the restaurant and he's doing that for a while and then at the restaurant he hires some new hot chick and then divorces his wife and marries her instead and then they stay married for the rest of their life and he like that's when my tom cat and stop he's so he's so good can you imagine staying at the kFC motel also what a wild jump is like this chick is doing really good I'm a start a hotel next door so the his restaurant's so popular like real fried chicken like actual like southern fried chicken you have to cook in like a cast iron skillet so you can only do like so many pieces at a time and it takes like half an hour so he like perfects how to do it inside of a pressure cooker so he can make mass quantities but it's still good because deep frying it just isn't the same i guess so he figures that out and then his fucking restaurant and motel both burned down he rebuilds it they burn down again he rebuilds it they burn down again he rebe

builds it again and then the county reroutes the highway away from his business and puts him under. And this is like when he's 65. So he goes out of business 65. He's dead ass broke. And he basically goes on the road with his pressure cooker and his secret blend of herbs and spices in the trunk. And him and his wife live in their car for three years as he travels the country going to like restaurants that are failing and is like, hey, I'll teach you how to make this chicken. I'll make my secret recipe for you for breading and send it to you and you have to pay me four cents

for every piece of chicken that you sell and he goes all over the country and in three years I think he signs up like 400 franchisees No shit And this is when he's 65 living in his car Which is why Also I love how motivating that is

Because Homeboy is 65 I'd be like Fuck dude Government fucking me over I had a great road then they built this highway thing. And you didn't build a killdozer? Seems like a missed opportunity, frankly.

But we'll see where this goes. Some of the franchises still end up failing, even though they have Colonel Sanders chicken. So he hires this guy named Dave to go in there and like, simplify the menu, like streamline the business, show him how to run a proper restaurant. And Dave would look,

Colonel Sanders pays Dave a bunch of money for like saving like 10 of these franchises. So he gives him like a big chunk of money. And that guy takes that money to open up his own burger place and names it after his daughter, Wendy. No shit. I swear to God. Get the fuck out of here. The fuck, dude. I feel like we all just did like the gay Redator like Avengers crossover. Oh my God. So he's also. And then his daughter named Wendy. Yeah. And we're like, We all did the Funko Pop stare at Nick. So that happened. That's crazy they work together.

I was thinking that because I'm like, now I know it's like Dave's double, whatever. I'm like, Dave. I'm like, I know this name affiliated with fast food. No shit. So that happened. And then eventually like some other shit happens.

He ends up selling the business for $2 million and a contract to be the like lifetime spokesperson for KFC. and this is what year too because he's like in his late 70s at this point year is this like 60s fucking 60s 70s somewhere in there 2 million is a fun of like a metric shit ton of money yeah 2 million now is a lot of money 2 million then is a float so he basically becomes a spokesperson for kFC and they go public they were like the second restaurant to go public after McDonald's like it was a big deal so because they went public all they care about is shareholders and like the next profit margin so they started fucking up all of his recipes and it was like a spoken handshake deal you weren't going to alter his recipes so like they fucked up his gravy and then they came out with the extra crispy chicken and he was like super pissed about it he was he was known for going into random kFCs trying the gravy and then just spiking the entire meal on the floor and he's like he he cusses like a sailor he's cussing out the people in the kitchen and shit for fucking up his recipes. Apparently all of his radio ad spots

were all heavily edited because he couldn't go two sentences without saying motherfucker or goddamn. So he's doing that and he talks so much shit to the press about ruining his gravy and how shitty the new extra crispy chicken is that they had

to sue him to get him to stop. And the judge that's overseeing the court case is like I'm sorry, the letterhead on the opening of this document is this guy's face and you're suing, you're suing that he just like dismisses the court case. KFC versus Colonel Sanders. Literally the court case is KFC versus Colonel Sanders. This dude walking in and spiking fucking gravy's amazing. He had to wear the white with the bowtie

too. Hey, you fucking. The other thing is like, that wasn't even related, Eli. He says that word. I read three. Yeah, yeah. That dude, tell me that dude does not say that. I read three books on this guy. And like, there was a lot of time spent because there's a like, there's a lot of weird, like, internet conspiracy theories that he was like in the KKK and heavily racist and stuff. I'll be honest. That looks just like my grandfather. Not helping your case. Yeah. Well, you know. So I read, I literally read two and a half books on this guy and a shit ton of articles. And like the articles are like, he was actually really progressive for his time.

He was like one of the first dudes that was out there hiring women to run entire establishments. Why would you let them have anything? Because he wanted to bend them over the pressure cooker, Cody, obviously. He's a tomcat. He bragged to his daughter at the age of 83 that he was still getting. I swear to God. He was bragging that he was still having sex at 83 years old. Did he ever say anything about women's suffering?

Because they've been suffering for too long. We should end their suffrage. Dude, he looks just like my pop ball. My pop ball used to say He's chocolate cheese And I feel like he would say that What is that mean? Okay, so this

This isn't true I had to dig And like prove that this wasn't true But there's another podcast that like Went over his whole life And in their podcast they kind of buy into There's a lot of internet nests That Colonel Sanders was like a prolific racist

Like a KKK member and shit Which isn't true But one of the myths was in his first original restaurant it's a completely fabricated story This isn't real But this other podcast put it out And they're like in 1953 In his first restaurant

One of his customers came in And they had a pet crow That could do tricks And it was basically like Trained to go around And peck at people's shoes Until you gave him a penny And he would bring it back to the owner

And Colonel Sanders fell in love with it So he bought this crow From the person And Colonel Sanders named him Jim It's like All right Jim Crow Yeah. Oh yeah. We're tracking. Not true. But I was like, Jesus. That was a root. That's not true. No, that's not true at all. Like, he wasn't a prolific racist. It's funny, but. Yeah. It's just weird that like he was like the ideal Southern gentleman. So like all the news of him being like a prolific racist sprouted up. Well, that's weird. Like that's like, it's a funny joke, but like where would that myth come from? Just people make and show up. If there's no reality to that. How he looks. I literally probably how he looks. You just make shit up on the internet and claim it's true. Wait.

You can do that? Yes. We got an expert on it right here. I love how Connor looks up. He doesn't even need to fucking. He's like, oh, Brian on the internet.

$22 million in 1960 is $22 million today. $2 million. Yeah, $2 million is $22 million. Yeah. That shit. But not a bad. That's retired.

On one hand, on one hand, it sounds like a lot, like not enough money. Because you have like 1,100 franchises. it doesn't sound like enough money for an 1100 franchise business but apparently Colonel Sanders was super old school and it was just like a handshake agreement of like I kind of know how much chicken you can make

with how much secret herbs and spices I'm sending you you owe me four cents mail me a check every month so he was just getting like 1,100 handwritten checks in the mail every month in his office and cashing him when he sold the business I just imagine if he's like four cents less he just he's at the back door to the establishment flies across the contrary and he's just at the back door like I didn't get my

forces today he just well he just sends them the news article of him shooting a man yeah I didn't even put this part in the video because I couldn't prove that it was true but there was one account that he always loved to like play practical jokes on people and KFC had like a high ranking executive that happened to be a black man and they would like go to business meetings and stuff together because he was like the face of KFC still. And at like 85, he would like, as soon as they parked, he would run and get the bags out of the trunk. And he would walk in first in front of the black guy. And he'd check in and be like, and this is my son, but we don't talk about that. Like, you just,

holy shit. That's, let's, let's be honest. Let's some shit. We would do. You guys like fried chicken here at my son. Jesus. Where did you hear this? Like, that you couldn't confirm it, but you're like pretty sure it's true. I've heard it. It was in like several articles and it was on another podcast, but it wasn't anything in his autobiography. And then there's another book that was like written by an actual historian that like studied the guy and there was no mention of it there.

And the place, the articles that were written weren't reputable sources and the podcast that it was in also had several other errors that I could confirm. So like I can't confirm that that part's true, but it is funny. It's head canon for me, no. Yeah. But I think I told that on the podcast at one point. The relationship between, you were talking about the first publicly traded fast food company, I think, was McDonald's. Yeah, I think so.

The relationship between, oh, God, Roy Kroc and Walt Disney. You've told me about this. Yeah, I don't. But to the fact that, because there was a relationship, it was, yeah, Ray Kroc, sorry, Ray Kroc and Walt Disney. Because there was a relationship between McDonald's and Disney World. Like, later on, like, that was one of the only external fast food restaurants that was allowed to have, you know, places in Disney World. Have I not told this story? I don't like so.

I thought I did. This is something. This is interesting. It was because Ray Kroc and Walt Disney were both ambulance drivers in World War I. Oh, that's cool. So they were actually, I thought I did. Ernest Simingway was as well. Really?

Yeah. So Ernest Hemingway, Ray Kroc, and Walt Disney were all ambulance drivers in France in World War I. My grandfather was as well. Hemingway was in Italy. Okay, I know. Italy with the Red Cross. Okay, so Hemingway was Italy. So different side of the continent.

But you're talking to my grandfather was, too? Really? Yeah, he was an ambulance driver in World War II. No shit. Yeah. Oh, I did not know that. All right. Well, Ray Cross.

Rock, after, you know, McDonald's takes off, you know, after he allegedly, you know, we all watched the founder, stole this company from somebody else, ended up writing a letter to Walt Disney, basically saying, hey, I don't know if you remember me, but we served together in Europe. I kind of have this company, this little fast food joint, I see you're doing well. If you ever want to work together, let me know. And they couldn't put it together when either of them, or excuse me, when both of them were still alive.

but after they had died there was a relationship formed and there still have the letter that Ray Kroc wrote to Walt Disney It's who you know That kind of like Hey I don't know if you remember me But I see we're both doing quite well

We should look together That's still a cool story I love that Any of that It's that old idea And then you're just like Well fucking we're gonna roll the dice And see how this works

I'm gonna start restaurant and then a hotel next to said restaurant highway is going to open up super far away I'm going to just start this live out of my car and then sell an ingredient oh also sorry I don't have my notes but going back to the gas station era after he had his own gas station he was going around putting up signs again I guess shooting signs fell out of popularity or something he was putting up signs or painting barns or whatever and he had changed from doing his own signs to just ripping down other people's and painting over theirs now, because this

is fucking colonel's territory. There's one account of another gas station owner confronting him to tell him to stop and he pointed a gun at him and said, get back in your car. Where did colonel come from? He's a Kentucky colonel. All right. Who else is a Kentucky colonel

at the table? Harland Sanders got it when you actually had to do something impressive. And it's not shitting. Are you not? No. Oh.

Do you guys not know that? My last name isn't prevalent enough on the internet that anybody can just go sign me up. That's fair. The governor of Kentucky made me and Brandon colonels. I'm aware. Wait, what? Yeah. Do you not know that in us?

So we're honorary Kentucky colonels. Yeah, so is rich. Yeah, we're colonels. When did this happen? And so is Kentucky ballistics, too. Yeah. That makes more sense. That makes a lot more sense.

That makes a lot more sense. Colonel Kentucky ballistics. Andy Brissure made me and Brandon Kentucky colonels. And, yeah, and Scott. Andy, what the fuck? Yeah, us two. Colonel fat. I'll see if I can make some calls.

Thank you. I, dude, it was the weirdest thing getting to my address ever. I opened up this, this letter. And I'm like, wait, wait, wait, I just step back for a minute. Secret blend of herbs and spices, sprinkles out. It was like, from. From the governor, Andy Bershue, you are a Kentucky colonel, and he signed it. And so, like, me and Brandon are Kentucky colonels.

That was the odd part. I was like, how the fuck did you find my address? Yeah, he did find her addresses. Yeah. Oh, you did. Oh, this is not something we asked for. It's just something that shows up in the mail one day. Yeah, we never asked for this.

We just got it and was like, what the fuck is this? I'm just going to start collecting titles. I texted Brandon. I'm like, Brandon, what is this? He was like, I got one. too. What's his name? Who did this? Andy Bershier. The governor of Kentucky. Kentucky. He's a picture

I'm watching your guys' video later. I like, I like them, boys. They're very nice people over there. They're colonels now. Is he still active? Yep. Yeah, that's one of the things I have hung up on my wall behind me when I do my videos

and streams. He is the 63rd governor of Kentucky. He's been serving since 2019. It was the most random thing ever. But yeah, I'm a Kentucky colonel. Brandon is too. He has military rank. That's actually technically true in this case.

Not military, but like, I'm a colonel in only the state of Kentucky. I'm going to start entering. Oh, my God. All right. We're going to go there. I'm going to start introducing Brandon as colonel. That's your title, Colonel. Fuck to you, Carter.

Commonwealth of Kentucky, not the state of Kentucky. Why are we not using this in your congressional campaign? because it's Colonel Brandon Herrera I love it the name is Colonel Brandon Horan very thin why you have a piece of paper it is objectively true it is objectively true

you know why we're not using it I don't it's not going to stop me from introducing you as Colonel to everybody at the Pentagon for now on oh fuck how do you think that welcome Merry Christmas Brandon you are now Colonel Medal of our recipient this is the Purple Heart episode

Part 2 and I don't like it. I'm going to get you the colonel rank, but it's going to be like a fried chicken on the front. A Kentucky fried colonel. It's a fried chicken. It's a full fried bird. God. Oh, the internet's going to have fun with this.

He is a colonel. It is true. I do have the paperwork. I should put that up somewhere. I think it's in my spare room right now I put it in my Twitter bio it just does Kentucky colonel dude did you really? Yeah people

were probably like oh Kentucky Colonel it's like no Andy Bursher like made me a Kentucky Colonel I'm very proud of that I have no idea it's like honorary rank for the state yeah

I'm so fucking dope so we are Kentucky colonels dude the Kentucky Colonel is the highest civilian title of honor bestowed by the governor of Kentucky, recognizing individuals for significant contributions to their community, state, or nation, often for good deeds, leadership, or outstanding service, acting as ambassadors of goodwill. It's a lifetime honorary commission, not a military rank, though it originated from military

tradition. All I heard was that. Moody, did you know I'm a Kentucky colonel? Okay. How many times has he told you? Yeah. Tell me I'm a colonel. God damn it, Nick.

Cody That's very funny Deep fried colonel Kentucky fried colonel I don't have many awards But I take this one I like it How the fuck did I even know that

Oh my God We have to get your Sart Major For 2026 There's an honorary Sarm Major Right I feel like John Snow I don't want it I don't want it

That's why you deserve I don't want it that will be 2026's goal and then Brandon to do thank you for everything you do fuck you guys

do we have campaign updates not on record all I want for Christmas is a politician I like what's that all I want for Christmas is a politician I like you might get it

we'll see yeah I know you're gonna say no but I love that you were just gonna win in the first place before all the things happen. Can you like just start insider trading like every other politician except literally just admit

to it on the internet and then donate the proceeds to St. Jude? So here's the funny part. I, so I already, I went on record. Nobody on the planet would convict you if you did that. Well, I went on record saying that I was never going to like, and this, I still stand by this. I will not buy, sell, trade a single stock while in office. Can you tell me and I'll do it and I'll donate all the money? Here's where you already can.

You already can with Nancy Pelosi's stock trading. Yeah, but she just retired. She has retired yet. She's still in office. Oh. She's still tired. You can monitor her trades. Yeah.

You think she's going to stop trading? You know what's funnier than that is that what's better than following Nancy Pelosi's stock trading is inverse Kramer. I have seen that. Yeah. Where Jim Kramer, like, you know, mad money guy, is so bad at predicting everything in the stock market. You just do the opposite. You just do the opposite of whatever he recommends. It's actually doing.

better than insider trading from Nancy Pelosi. How does he react to that, that he is the stock guy or financial guy, and it's been proven to just do the opposite, and you're going to be worried with your shit. Are you talking about the meme guy? Like, yep. Yeah, the man does that, yeah. Yeah. I seen, like, there's different quotes where they're like, dude, the world's not going to

end next year, and everybody's like, fuck. Uh-oh, uh-oh. It's fine, guys. You guys are acting like this, the sun's going to. going to come up tomorrow. Oh, shit, boys. I think we're in trouble. We're dead.

It's just funny that, like, being that wrong can actually be more financially beneficial than, you know, literal insider trading. And that's your profession, which is fucking wild. What are your updates, though, for? Your race. You have, we got a couple people came out the woodwork. We'll see. Things are a little too early.

At time of recording, we don't even know who's in the race, frankly. We know there's a couple people that might have jumped in. in. Other people that, again, want Tony out. So hopefully that that's a, that's a useful collaboration. But the actual primary is on March 3rd. So right now it's just we're in fundraising mode. We're talking to people in the district. And we're trying to just get the message out like, hey, man, this is what your congressman is done. This is what he is doing. And this is why he needs to be replaced. And so that's the message we're hitting really, really strong. And then if we end up going to a runoff, which I will say now we don't know exactly. We don't even know who's in the race

right now. The deadline's already, the filing deadline to be on the ballot's already passed. But they're still doing the paperwork. So we don't know who's exactly on the ballot yet. When we do know that, we'll see, but right now it's John Sina. Literally could possibly happen.

That would suck. You might lose that. That's the one you just give up on. Man. That would be the funniest thing that could happen. Well, you saw the sham wow. I promise we will commit. night and then it's just over you like me and you were in his campaign finance office and we're just like fuck dude really well you saw the sham wow guy jumped in and uh i think it was

texas district 35 if i'm mistaken shamrock sham wow wow no the slam wow wow i'm dead serious the slapchop guy what if what a bill just comes out of nowhere goldberg's like i'm running for God damn it, dude. Matt Carrecker has a chance to do the funniest thing right now. He missed the opportunity to do the funniest thing. You don't know if he signed up or not. That's fair. I do know he's in District 21, but the, uh, yeah, it's, we'll see what all that.

Shut up, please, friends. No, I have my back right now. Brother, I've done this for too long. I know my friends don't have my back on this one. They have an interest in mind and it is not. not my best. They attack Tony because funny. Which, fair enough.

Everything's a meme. That's been my running joke though. It's like, my opponent right now is doing a really good job of running against himself. So whenever he's done with that, I'll play winner. I'd never thought about it. Anyone else in your shoes with friends like that posting and doing that would be absolutely fucking terrified. I would be like

just Sun Tzu and Colonel Sanders' voice killed me. Oh, man. So. None of us knew what you were referencing there for a moment, and then we all put it together at the same time. My God. Campaign update.

That's how it's going. I think we'll pull it off this time, though. I think you have a good, I mean. I gotta go do unsub and D.C. now. That was funny the other day because we were there for the Army Christmas party. You just text me like, hey man, this is going on, X, Y, and Z. And we all share locations because we're, you know, gay like that.

And he's like, by the way, I could get used to this and just sends me a screenshot of Brandon Herrera, Washington, D.C. It's going to happen. Cody, can you read that in Colonel Sanders' voice? in raiding and plundering be like fire in immovability like a mountain I love how obvious most of Sun Tzu shit is by the way in raiding and plundering be like fire

in immovability be like a mountain the fuck am I supposed to garner from that when you are sneaky be silent it's like what fuck do you when you are sneaky energy may be lacking to the bending of a crossbow decision to the releasing of the trigger what what is that mean i i like to think that he was dealing with people who had like fucking 30 IQ back in the day so that sounded monumental to the people that he was talking to when you are killing kill your enemy when the sleeping it's like

Like, yeah, they're sleeping, dude. When you are being stiff, be stern. Yeah. I'll have a number seven with cheese. Dude, you're not joking. The next one, it is more important to outthink your enemy than to out fight him. Holy shit, we have to be smarter than our enemy. Dude, I'm telling you, the art of war is like the lamest read ever.

like maybe try to attack the enemy when the sun's at your back so the sun's in their eyes fucking mind blown god damn if you think they will beat your ass don't love them it's just sun zoom that's all it is too my very hungry caterpillar of warfare Stop making quotes I never said, Sunzoo. Joe Mama. Now it's just this with random quotes on it. My favorite is the technically correct one. This is technically a Sunzoo quote.

All warfare is based. Period. This is just nothing but this. Do them dirty in front of they dad. Sun Tzu, the art of war. They're literally just... Joel Mama. How did you get on this side of Google Images?

I don't know. It just keeps floating. Smish. I just love the 30 IQ peasants. He's like, kill your enemies. And they're like, oh, oh, shit. Yeah. Flank them and spank them.

SunZoo. Sun Tzu. Damn. When they fire at your head, duck. Oh! The Art of War. Oh my gosh. McJesus.

Okay, we have that. Cody, what are you doing for Christmas? My boy? Christmas? Yeah. I'm hanging out with you boys, probably. I don't know. We had the Thanksgiving.

We did the Friendsgiven. That was good. And, like, I feel like, we just built a good family here to hang out with each other yeah all of our friends came over I'm not moving here it's never gonna happen Brandon can I have your white glow

yes I figured you didn't touch it we're in the giving spirit here thank you Merry Christmas Merry Christmas yeah I don't know man Are you just hanging out I think we got a up and come and let them cook We're gonna film on the 18th or 17th I believe Jake said Yep how's your shit doing man

how's a dog getting ready for say hello you got to say hi i like say hello say hello that's the formal episode i know that's when i say hello to elijah soots no uh is a lot like what the fuck is salutation to elijah no uh just i mean and y'all fucking doing the same thing is just christmas shopping for your kiddos at this point you're like oh also i love the show episode. She was so nervous. I didn't know you did two shots before you started that episode, by the way. You quickly figured it out.

I didn't. It was until afterwards, I was like, oh, she's super relaxed right now. This is fucking great. She's killing it. Killing it. And then everyone's like, yeah, she did two shots before. Oh, no, it was your vlog. You're like, she had quite a lot to say about the gypsies, though.

That's true. Also, can we talk about the voicemail? The what, no? The voicemail. Oh, you weren't here for this. So when I, if I call you and you don't have an actual voice. Oh, that's right. No, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So everyone out there, if you're, if you didn't set up a voicemail, it's just going to be like a robot. This phone number is not available. Please leave a message after the tone. Beep. I call show yesterday for something, live shows, whatever. And doesn't get answered. And then it goes to the, the, Irish. But it's an Irish robot voice.

And you've had that, that is your American phone number, which is more wild. I have no idea why it's, sorry. It seems a little racially charged, frankly. You, all of us have just normal, and you didn't know it. You had no idea. So it's like, hey, your voice smell robots, Irish. And she's like, what? Did you choose that?

She's like, what are you talking about? I was like, okay, well, you have an Irish. robot talking for your voicemail. We had no idea that was a whole last thing. And then we got on You haven't heard it? No. Call show. Call show. All right show. I'm calling you right now.

Which also What's your provider? AT&T. You could do some really dope stuff with accents. Yeah, you could call Sun Tzu and get some wild shit. Hey, he's not here right now. Answer later. your call has been forwarded to voicemail

the person you're trying to reach is not available at the tone not available your message when you have finished recording you may hang up hang up hang up you got Friday from Iron Man that is an American phone number by the way

how does it know that all right who's going to call their black friend you text Darnell I'm going chocolate right now Darnel done. D.MX. He's not available.

I love, I made that joke. I made a joke earlier. We were just fucking around about DMX and you're like, oh, old Earl. Because I forgot you arrested that motherfucker. Repeatedly. Yeah. Apparently it was like a recurring bit in your town. Yeah.

Old Earl, he fucking didn't have a driver's license. He was like a sovereign citizen type person. You know, he has, like, 16 kids in Spartanburg. Explains why he was there so much. He fucking, he eventually ended up, or he ended his life because he couldn't pay all his child support for his 16 kids. He ended his life? Oh, no, no, no, he eventually died there.

Oh, I didn't know, like, if he'd, by his own hand or what? He was a piece of shit. I don't remember how he died. But, like, like, the sheriff's department kept pulling him over, and I was always on those calls. It's like, oh, it's our role again. Oh, it's a role. It's like, yeah.

Yeah. In a book. Yeah. That's just weird that he had like, he had like, he had a, he had quite a, like a prolific, like, Hollywood career there, like, with a jet. Cradle to the grave. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, cradle of the grave, all that stuff. So what you're saying is that when he said X going to give it to you, he wasn't talking about

child support. No, he just like That's a Brandon joke It was right there He's going to give to you no Yeah, he just Oh boy Nobody else

was taking it, all right? If I was watching this podcast I'd be screaming it through the phone That's Santa has baggy as fuck on your head Oh shit! Where the f f f f*** did this start? No, he came over to your fucking house. And I put on his tiny cowboy hat.

It was for the Darwin Awards. Seven in three-eighth inches. Why is it looking at a normal human head size. Yours is not seven and three-eighth. Yes, it is. Merry Christmas, everyone. Merry Christmas. Nobody's brought up Christmas this entire episode.

It was a snooze fest. I fell asleep over there. Everyone has said Merry Christmas. No, they were just waking up just now for me because I'm here. Merry Christmas Fuck you You fat-headed I just picture

I'm like a dark helmet It's space balls I toss a normal hat And it lands on It's like the mattress It's like I did do this thing I was staying at Brandon's house

And he was out of town For like a couple days And he had a felt hat Sitting on his kitchen counter And I was like Is my head really that small? And I picked it up and I put it on it. And it was like, I felt like a toddler.

And I was like, God, fucking damn it. Nick's right. I got a baby ass head. You were like a kid wearing the little plastic firefighter. Yeah, that's exactly what it was like. Nick, we got to measure cocks in the bathroom right now. Because I'm working with some heat, brother. I am carrying some heat.

It is both long and girthy. I've been told it feels great. My head is small, but my other head is reasonably sized. and it touches that spot that they all like you know what I'm saying sorry I'm not going to say that this is everybody's wives you just said the N word let's cut that

I didn't I'm about to Nick I have oh we're the racist ones no you said Nick I'm but you cut yourself all you said Nick I'm and I heard something else I apologize we're the assholes

Cody was like I didn't Wow, my first time hearing my friends say the N-word. I apologize for that accusation. That's what I heard out of my left ear. We all did. So about the Mets. I'm glad I won the argument that you have a tiny head.

I'm glad that's settled. That's behind us now. No, I have a normal-sized human head. I stand by my statement. on the back it flip your hat around you fat-headed fuck yeah look three clasps holding on for dear life three no that's a halfway up the fucking you should be able to fill all those in that's normal

you should be able to fill all of them in how many holes you got on your belt Connor is it one because it's not one we can't talk about the belt conversation because it's going to make it worse that everyone will think I'm Because I'm on the last loop. You had to make new loops with the screwdriver. I've had to do that with a leather bush before.

Everybody's going to think I'm fucking 5 foot zero when I weigh zero pounds and I'm about to disintegrate into dust. If you put on Nick's half what happened. He's actually six foot two and weighs zero pounds and it's going to disintegrate into dust. Nick put Connor. it's gonna look far we all know exactly where this is going yeah now tilt your head forward to the camera

to show them how much hair you fucking got I just like this fucking cushion right here we talk about you can take jabbing and brow dude you can take the spin it Cody yeah dude just hit it real quick

hit the problem woo you can bear up I can live in here can I move in here a fucking hat Me and my family of Forge

I'm about to live in here I don't know if I If I go to the grocery store and buy the largest watermelon they have I know what hat will fucking fit it And then everybody online is like No, no, there's no one Three buttons

Okay, make it fit your head real quick Yeah, make it fit your head Let me go, okay Let me go to all of them I'll show you right now Watch watch the top of the cutout strain because it's never been that small before Yeah, no, we go

we go normal human head size that's what we do yeah all the way adjusted to the very fucking edge yeah and then it fits fine can you put two fingers under your hat what is not a dog collar I think the point is it still

baggy on your head no it's not I can't fit two fingers up under there's two fingers in there's there's definitely two fingers so not that I could have married you guys are gay I ain't all over there you're not my friends anymore

This is the gayest argument we've ever had. You, Merry Christmas. Fucking bullshit. I'm stealing his hat. How's Iowa? It's great. It's great. Yeah.

We had a homeless guy freeze to death last week. Hell yeah. Yeah. What do you just... It happens. In his driveway. Refused to let him in the house. No, it was at the fairgrounds.

It was in your basement. I don't have a basement. Why, just the idea of being homeless in your area? I mean, I don't know the context of this individual. I mean, there are homeless shelters in my town, but the homeless shelters are very much like you're allowed to be here at night between these hours and these hours. And during the day, you need to go out and look for a job or be like volunteering or doing something with your life other than being homeless. And some homeless people refuse to do that and would rather live outside or rather die outside. And sometimes that's what happens.

Wait, pause. Have we talked about the fucking gang tattoos we all have as we sit together yet? I think we have. I think so. Have you pointed out yours? I've not seen. Also, let's not call them gang tattoos. Sounds. Nazi tattoos. What? Gay tattoos. What? Merry Christmas, everyone. Merry Christmas. You always called the gang. Literally the gang. Not gang. I don't know. Gang. Have we talked about that?

I feel like we, yeah, I mean, we've, we talked about it. Yeah, we all got matching tattoos because we're super gay. Yeah. The end. That's the whole story. I just never seen yours until now. Yeah. Really?

Yeah, I didn't know he had that. There. You didn't get it. I have one session left on my back piece and it's like just love handles and I'm going to die. It's the worst spot I've ever had. What was the worst spot you've ever been tattoo? Love handles. That was fucking miserable.

You don't think it is? Like, I've had my kneecaps done. lower back. I feel like it would be in the inside of joints. No, that sucks. It sucks. It sucks. It's not as bad as your

love handles. This area, fuck off, dude. It's horrible. Especially when it's like gigantic fucking liners and I have to... Why do you think I'm not colored

down there? Well, I have to finish it. You're brown down there. What a way with words Eli has. That's what I do. Also, I don't think I've I think I've seen your back piece once

I was just like I'd never realize you had I've ever seen it done the whole thing up I was like oh shit like the lining is like that's a thick line by all standards of tattoos now you compare to that to any of those giant fucks and that's not colored the upper back colored

faking wretched and then they're like okay you have two African Americans now I was going to say let's say color filled you have 16 hours left on the that portion just let me know when you want to come back i'm like you have 16 hours left left his tattoo is his tattoo is said let me know when you want to come back i've had i've had like 40 hours of tattooing the last three months you what i've had like 40 hours in the last three months dear god on my back and i still have more to go dude god it just sucks Love handles.

It's horrible. It's the worst. It's the worst by far. There's no getting comfortable. There's no. You're just like this. It starts. Oh my God.

The entire time. And it's eight hours. I don't know. I cried a lot when I got my cock. Show it. Show your cock. Yeah. My cock goes halfway down my, my cock goes halfway down my thigh.

Now, Cody, show him your cock. You show that to camera? I'll move the Your hand Oh it's in the way Yeah Oh fuck He's got a chicken tattoo

Get it His cock goes halfway Down his thigh There you go Hey My cock goes halfway Down my thigh I turn that

A little Yeah Now it can be Okay That was your And that was your Very first tattoo Yeah

I might have been Mildly intoxicated In Florida And decided To get A cock tattooed On my thigh What?

It was so painful. I was crying the entire time. I believe that. I know you were talking about your love handles and all that. I don't have love handles. And, you know, I believe that too. I have a normal hair line. Yeah.

And a normal human size head. You sound very alien right now. Here, put this on top of your head so we can call you nail. Skinny ass bitch. I can't get no bit. I couldn't even maintain the bitch. No, I just love Cock so much

That's why I decided to get that Merry Christmas Everyone Oh, we love you all Merry Christmas But we all got the gang tattoos Can I say that, Brandon? Yeah, yeah, that's fine

The gang is fine Yeah, dear God You still have How many hours you said On just a thing? Yeah, when are you gonna finish I'm gonna finish my back piece Before you

I have already Looked into this It is anesthesiologist to go under you're going to do fend to get color on your tattoos brother in Christ Nick you don't have you're black and white black still feels way better Nick how many color tattoos you have run that by me one more time

say that again just the way you said it black feels way better than colored I don't know My grandpa used both those words freely In the grocery store My mom hated their business I don't I don't know

That's wild I don't know that colored ink hurts more than black ink I'm going to be honest with you Do you have a single No but I will go get one Just to call you a fucking liar Oh please This will be a fun one

We'll put this on the record Can you do half Your love handles do one side with some color in it and then do the other with whatever you want to no or match now just get like one on right there like on your cheek i'll do i'll do with some white and then i'll just go over it and black after the fact will you do i know you'll actually do white ink yeah and it's not going to feel any different why everyone watching why would it feel different give me any remotely scientific explanation white and color don't feel different

I will 100% bet everything you are going to hate fucking life. You know why? Because I have tattoos with white ink colored and then this. This feels like some superstitious shenanigans. Okay. Have fun with white ink. Why would it feel different? Why?

They have to pack the, you, go, okay, without me doing anything, you already are signing up for this. Google how much it sucks. I'm not doubting you. Not you, not you. Nick's going to have a terrible time on his love. handles with white ink. They have to use multiple needles to put a shitload more ink in there because it doesn't

stay around as long. No, you're going over the same spot multiple times just to pack the ink. You do that with saturated black though. And then how easy do you think saturated black sticks? Compare to white ink in the skin. I'm going to assure you, Google it.

It fucking sucks. You are doing 21 shaders, 21 line eaters, and you're just packing it. Like, multiple runs over See that makes sense I was just wondering What the reason was

Why would color hurt more than black It's not one or two It is like five times And you're just going over raw skin And over You do that for saturated black though No because in bleep this name What hurts more

Saturated black and white And she said The black was fine The red hurt And the white fucking hurt I asked chat GPD What hurts more Colored Ink or Saturated Black

for tattoos Short answer. Saturated black usually hurts more than colored ink. Why? Saturated black means the artist is packing in a lot of ink in the same spot, often going over it multiple times to get deeper, solid, more black, more passes equals more trauma. I can show you your AI overview too that says the exact opposite. Yes, white ink sucks the worst. I can do this all day long. This is Google AI versus Google AI. This is Eli AI with experience all over my goddamn body with colored and white. I'm telling, yeah, from somebody who had. Black, red, and white tattoos, they said black was fine, red hurt, and white hurt really fucking bad. Interesting. That is the only reason I am not going back. It's why the black is done and none of the colored is done because it fucking sucks the second they have to just go.

Oh, okay. Sorry, it's not holding it. Oh, it's really, okay, it's vibrant now. I mean, you get a fucking color on your tattoos. Yeah, weigh in on this. What heard more? I don't know, fucking. Is it my

No opinion? No, no whatsoever. The same. Oh, fuck off. So much of silly billies here. I just want you to do that and record it and be like, oh, okay. Be like, what time's our flight tomorrow, brother? Really early.

Actually, that's fucking the mark code. If you want to close this out, we'll do a quick 10-minute Christmas after show. And we're done. Oh, there it is. Let me stretch it back out. You could have chosen a lot of ways to get off camera. It's these fucking Marcus over there. Why am I here?

Go deep. Qualls us out. Merry Christmas, fuckos. Bye, everyone. Thank you for coming to the unsuscribed Christmas special podcast. I'm joined by Eli Double Tap. Nick Fide Electrician. Brandon or myself Donut operator.

We love you. Merry Christmas. I know everybody's got a lot of stuff going on this Christmas season, but be sure to call your friends. Check in on your friends. Make sure they're doing good. And if they don't have anything going on, invite them over. It's a good opportunity, I think. Call your friends.

Make sure their kids aren't being fat and annoying at the sled hill. Shit pisses me off. Make sure your friends don't run into Nick. Make sure your friends are being good parents to their kids. Please. I love you. Kisses. You don't know my