Unsubscribe Podcast - The Surprising WW1 History Of Hennessy | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 269

Episode Date: June 21, 2026

Watch this episode ad-free and uncensored on Pepperbox! https://www.pepperbox.tv/joinunsubscribe Our boy KingPix finally made it to Unsub! WATCH THE AFTERSHOW & BTS ON PATREON! https://www.patreon.com/UnsubscribePodcast 👕 Merch & Shoes https://bunkerbranding.com/pages/unsubscribe-podcast 🔋 Energy Drinks https://drinkechelon.com P.O BOX: Unsubscribe Podcast 17503 La Cantera Pkwy Ste 104 Box 624 San Antonio TX 78257 ------------------------------ THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS! THE PERFECT JEAN Get 15% off your first order plus free shipping at https://theperfectjean.nyc with code UNSUB15. RIDGE Get up to 40% off at Ridge during their Father's Day Sale at https://www.Ridge.com/UNSUB #Ridgepod FUM Head to https://www.tryfum.com/UNSUB to get your free gift with purchase, and start The Good Habit today! ZBIOTICS Go to https://zbiotics.com/UNSUB and use UNSUB at checkout for 15% off any first time orders of ZBiotics probiotics. STOPBOX Get firearm security redesigned and save 10% off @StopBoxUSA with code UNSUBSCRIBE at https://stopboxusa.com/UNSUBSCRIBE #stopboxpod ------------------------------ FOLLOW OUR SOCIALS! Unsubscribe Podcast https://www.instagram.com/unsubscribepodcast https://www.tiktok.com/@unsubscribepodcast https://x.com/unsubscribecast Eli Doubletap https://www.instagram.com/eli_doubletap/ https://x.com/Eli_Doubletap https://www.youtube.com/c/EliDoubletap Brandon Herrera https://www.youtube.com/@BrandonHerrera https://x.com/TheAKGuy https://www.instagram.com/realbrandonherrera Donut Operator https://www.youtube.com/@DonutOperator https://x.com/DonutOperator https://www.instagram.com/donutoperator The Fat Electrician https://www.youtube.com/@the_fat_electrician https://thefatelectrician.com/ https://www.instagram.com/the_fat_electrician https://www.tiktok.com/@the_fat_electrician ------------------------------ unsubscribe pod podcast episode ep unsub funny comedy military army comedian texas podcasts #podcast #comedy #funnypodcast Chapters: 0:00 Welcome To Unsub! 3:42 The Boys Got Pulled Over 6:25 KingPix’s First Unsub 21:27 Trout’s First Range Day 24:23 Hennessy History 30:59 The White House UFC Fight 37:50 Cop Stereotypes 47:48 Brandon Hates Us 59:40 Trout’s Roadtrip Story 1:11:48 Trout’s Tiny Head 1:28:11 The Offenders 1:34:07 Facebook Marketplace 1:51:07 Police Stories Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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A bunch of YNs. A bunch of Yans with their shy-stees out. Hey, when war at, swan? You're making me racist, bro. I'm- I'm making you racist. No, you're encouraging it. You wanted to come on us. How did we get here?

I don't know, but it's correct. Cut that, cut the fuck out of that. Come back to everybody laughing really hard at my joke though. Say hi to me lie. To me lie, it's racially ambiguous, Brandon, his hair is fucking fabulous. Don't I, a dog joke disposition,

and there's a fat electrician. Welcome to unsubscribe. Hey, what is up, everyone? Before this episode starts, I just want to give a quick update and shout out. Next week, you will see the names of the different subscribers that have $1,000 just to say thank you for just everything we have been able to do.

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TV. And now enjoy the show. One, two, three. Hi, everyone, and welcome to another episode of the unsubscribe podcast. Today I'm joined as always, always, always, shut up, by Mr. Eli double-tap,

Nick, the fat electrician, Chris, Mr. Kingpix Media, and myself, King Trout. So I was laughing because Darnell's black ass was sitting up front with a Sprite. He distracted me. Of course, he grabbed this. Sprite. Yeah, that's why I started laughing.

I made a whole video about that. Just grabbed Spry. I made a whole YouTube video about why black people love Sprite. I swear to God. I also take a seat when he talked to when he talked about the history of Hennessy, I was immediately like, he was hooked. He said, oh, we're going to talk about that. It's World War I, bro. Yeah, World War I. We're about to get a history lesson.

Oh yeah, hey, we got key picks. What's up? There's two kings at this table. Yes, sir. Jiz. Has terrible credit. Yeah. Connor. What?

How crazy is that? What did I do? One of us has really good credit. Really good credit. It's your shit ain't me. Not you. One of you has a home. Yeah, fuck off.

Sorry. Do you like Sprite? Sorry about my. I do like Sprite with no eyes. Okay, good. I might out black. Feltled Sprite from McDonald's. It's spicy. Oh, yeah.

Why is it so spicy It is spicy Yeah, I made the whole video about that See? There's three of us here right now Is this a record? Is this the most? This is the most it's ever been

There's four you aren't counting me Shut up Oh, you two count as one together maybe No, no, no, I'm 100%. Are you? Yes, why does everyone Everyone thinks that I'm So two things

Do you a liar too? Everyone thinks that I'm mixed And everyone thinks that my wife is white For some reason, I don't know why Do I give that off? I got to ask. I do. Am I allowed to speak?

Yeah, Cameron? Yeah. I thought your wife. I mean, I know you're married, but is you. My wife is a black woman with dreads. Oh. Darno. In everybody's defense, the bill on your hat is more bent than mine.

It's functional. Yeah. He wears his head like I do. You don't. I'm wearing cowboy boots right now. Yeah, I would, man, if you're like heads down and you look up, it would be one of those. That's my black friend.

What's your name? my nigga. Oh, sorry. Wait, how do you feel about his hat? I've never seen a black dude wearing a hat. He's a stand in the corner. You're like, oh shit, as a strong dude, he looks up. We wear hats like, oh, what the fuck? What? What? Hi.

Listen, this is the darkest the unsub house has ever been, and I'm glad to be a part of it. I am full. We had a tinted windshield. We almost got pulled over, and then he saw y'all. he saw the silhouette of the dreads and was like old tarantula hair over there so there I was on the way here from the last spot we were at and Chris goes I think we're going to get pulled over

and because the cop he's going to opposite direction he turns around he's like but there's a car between the cop and us so it might be for them and I'm looking and I see the cop turn the lights on I'm like well he's not speeding up to go around them so it's probably them and then I see them pull over and all right we're good we're in the clear we get to the house

these two find African Americans show up and like we got pulled over and we're like oh no pause pause I get this text message going 40 and a 30 despite the car in front of us doing a 50 we didn't know that car in front of them or YouTube

which makes this text even better followed by a photo with them being pulled over we were not speeding we were not speeding we were going the speed limit whatever the speed limit was in that area that was the limit that we were going

and then we see this traffic stop take place and then they came in the house hooting and hollering I said why have the loud ones here I actually I told Cody today I had this thought on the plane and you can cut this if this is too much

no it's not going but I said you know instead of separating people and looking at skin color why don't we separate them by volume put the loud ones in the back and then right when I Right when I said that, Cota, he stopped me. But still, think about that. Sorry, Nick.

My bad. I'm going to take a shit on the plane. I got to put earmuffs on. It's like, it's like, it's closer to the back. Back here listening to a little boozy and talking on speakerphone. This is wild. Sorry, guys. I did not plan on going this direction.

but there's three of us here. It's like a color smart. Wow. Put this man on camera. I'm going to have to take a knee later. Do we not have the studio cam on? I know. Oh my gosh.

Oh, goodness. They've revoked my blackness. He threw you under the back of the bus. Got your ass. Gosh. If my wife watches this, she's going to hate it. I already know. Anybody, babe, don't watch that one.

We just talked about nothing. I'm just kidding. She doesn't watch my content. Sam. Yeah, my wife doesn't either. Wow. God, I love this episode already. Starts strong. Good times, man.

It's been a long time in the making. I know. This is your first time on unsubbed. I was trying to convince him this is my first time at this house. Wait, what? That's what we said. I swear. I swear I have seen you standing like no there.

That was another black guy. I went to the other. This is possible. You 100% been here. I went to the other house. Pepper box. Pepper box. Yeah.

Never here? No. I'm not lying. Am I correct? I swear he's been here. You've wanted me here badly. But this is my, when I walked in today,

I walked over here and I snapped a picture. I was like, wow, this is my first time here. and he's like, no, it's not. He's like, no, it's not. Shut up. I was confident.

Yeah, and I said, I said, he said, stop being so loud. And then he said, I said, you watch that lip boy. You're what I said. You boys getting real mouthed these days. He said, you wanted them uppity ones, aren't you? And I was like, Connor, he's our guest.

What do you know how to read? Just because I'm a cook in the army. I said, what's you doing in the house, boy? Jesus Christ. He's like, oh, lawnmower's out back. No, that's what he and Connor actually screamed into his wallet at him. Oh, my gosh. He did.

I don't have anything. Just don't touch me. Don't taint my white and delightsome skin. That's a Mormon joke, by the way. But we'll get into that later. Delightsome. White and delightsome. I hate that.

Yeah. Oh, fuck. Good times, though. I mean, hey, this is great. This is great. I'm coming back. next month so get ready for that i'm so i can't get it i've swore you have been here multiple times why am i because we did uh we did the we went out i went out to jake's house and we went on

the range we shot there was two times we shot out there i did man brisk morning you've never just walked by and then we i didn't i didn't they always say oh yeah the unsubbed house is uh you know not far away and i'm like well where is it and they're like oh it's over there and i just i never never went yeah yeah we remember it differently. Yeah, which I want to probably trust you because I don't trust my brain. Yeah. Well, welcome to unsub. It's great to be here. It's great. It really like this is this is cool. I was looking at, I am King Pick, which camera's mine? The left one. There's two. Okay. My left or your left? All right. I am Kingpix Media. One of them. And I am a content creator and a streamer. I do stream almost every day. I was telling Chris about it.

But mostly just content creator. Spent almost 20 years in law enforcement, 15 of that in the National Guard. Thank you for your service. Well, you know, it's whatever. Oh, double salute. Hey, as you were. But the last two years, I've been on active duty on Adolfs orders on the Counterdrug Task Force. So trying to balance that being a husband, my wife and I will be married 20 years next summer.

I've got three kids, homes. school all three of the kids. So I'm very busy. We were talking about scaling content and it's like you're married when you were 12. I'll be 41 this year. Gee, black don't crack. Well, we look like shit, don't we? Yeah. That's what I said last time he brought that because we were together in Dallas. I was like, oh, fuck. I think when I realized that I was older than Jake, when I did Manverse Morning, I was like, I didn't believe it. I was like, dude, there's no way I'm older than you. He was like, why? And I was like, you look like shit. I don't I don't want to say, but it rhymes with gray.

It's on your face and on your hair. I have a gray arm hair now, you I look. Oh, he just found that. Look at my gray gorilla hair. He just found that out in the driveway. No, leave it. No, leave it. I want them to all go gray.

Let's oil it. I want all gray. He's going to look like a silver back. Yeah. That's literally what I got. I was like you're turning into a gorilla. All my grays are below the belt. God, that feels so weird.

Yeah. You have gray pubs? Yeah. What's wild. Yeah. Congrats. Brubush the Wise. It's pretty bad.

It's pretty bad. It's like a little snow cone. You got a wizard for a dick. I do. Gand off the gray. Yeah. I'm glad I was able to steal Nick's joke and then flew under the radar. But yeah, I'll be 41 this year.

I've been doing content. I think Nick actually you and I talked. Shot show like three years ago. No, before that. Because it was 2021 or 2022. when we were both kind of blown up on Instagram, which you've, you got me beat. But I think it was July of 2022.

He messaged me and he's like, hey, what mics do you use? And I told him, and then we talked a little bit and then we met at Shot Show. And then Zach, a lot of conversations. I have to mention Zach, every podcast that I'm on, he told me. I'm contractually obligated to mention him.

He was like, yeah, I do a solid 20 minutes when you go on Jocko. And I was like, I'll give you five. But yeah, so just working with Zach and Eric from Eschalon and you know linking up with you guys. It's been it's been interesting as a content creator because I'm not a full-time content creator, but that's kind of the goal. So we're working on it. There's nothing more disheartening than coming here for the first time and realizing I'm not retarded enough.

That's my problem. Well, it's how the fuck did they figure this out? It's funny. It's funny you say that because I actually am retarded. I actually, I am. You laugh. That was my impression the first time I came here. But it's, this is a,

I got picked up at the airport. Cody, awkward, don't know the guy. I just flew in. I just flew in. I was like, it was a good chance I'm getting fucking murdered.

I'd never like done anything with any other creator. Cody picks me up from the airport like 45 minutes late. Nobody else responding to my text. Cody, what's up man? I'm Cody. Hey, I'm Nick.

awkward silence. Cody's like, so what do you do? I'm an electrician. He just goes, fuck. that we don't talk for the five minutes. Dude, I got, I got picked up.

Or no, I Ubered to a restaurant that doesn't exist. Nice. Yeah, that was great directions. Thank you. I met Eli, Jack Mandeville, and Nick, and everybody, but Nick gave me a hug. Yep. And I hold that against him to this day. Fuck him, that's why.

Wait, what was the first one you got sent to? Sorry, my memory. That's deleted already. The place we just came from when it was a different restaurant. It was a different. Oh, okay. Where did they take? Thank you.

They took me there because you told me to go there. Yeah. And then where were we? There. I think they were closed. It was a permanently closed restaurant. Yeah. Oh.

I'm so confused. I don't remember this story. Hey, my bad dog. I'm like, wait, what's going on? I'm like, what the fuck? Was it just closed? It just closed like that day or the day before, right? Sure.

I don't know. That I remember now. Because I was so confused because I showed up. I was like, what the fuck? Are you tech? I forget now. because a show was helping on that side and I just remember

it's closed and I was like pulled up I was like what the I was just here yesterday huh well my first time here I got in late and I ubered to Cody's house and I get there

and there's boxes everywhere and he's like oh come on in and I'm like did you just move in he was like yeah I was like when he said today and I'm like, are you sure it's okay that I stay here tonight?

And he was like, yeah, yeah, that's fine. And sure enough, like, I think the second or third day, he was like, hey, I booked you a hotel. I booked you a hotel. We got some, we got some moving to do. I was like, yeah, that's, that's perfectly fine. Perfectly fine. Yeah. This group of friends.

I mean, it's, it's a fantastic group of friends. Oh, no, that wasn't the worst part about the first time I came here. What was you were still filming in the dining room? Oh, yeah. And the house that that dining room was located in was like well off the beaten path off of a private road with covered in potholes up a hill in the desert. I'm like, I'm going to get fucking murdered. And I'm like expecting to see, I don't know, a nice house. We turned the corner around the hill. Not a nice house. Shack in the middle of the desert. I'm like, I'm getting killed. Walk into the house. 90 fucking degrees. Oh my gosh. Walk through the living room.

fucking 12 fish tanks full of lizards. I'm like, I'm getting fucking killed. And then I'm like, where's the bathroom? It was the hills have eyes type. Hey, you, you right there. Hey, what do you not like about jeans? Uh-huh.

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nyc or google the perfect gene and use code unsub 15 to get 15% off that's right our listeners get 15% off their first order and free shipping just head over to the perfect gene dot nyc or google the perfect gene and use code unsub 15 to get 15% off i'm like where's the fucking bathroom i walk into the bathroom. Fucking like Amazon boxes everywhere. A toilet that has like the lid down and has dust on it like has not been used in a

very long time. Where are we should? And then like an old bathtub like a clawed cloth foot bathtub with the metal ring around for the shower. No fucking shower curtain. I was like that's where my body's getting cut up. Perfect.

And now look at you. Batty's old house was baddie's old house was Batty's old house. It was it's like they bought a single wide and then started adding single wides to that single wide and whatever fashion they decided.

Home Depot shit. Like, dude, it was bad. AC didn't it work. You fucking wet-willed. I still like you wet-willed Cody the first time meeting you're like I'm like and you got me and then the light just

comes down and hits you in the head. I was like ah, motherfucker. That was a fucking failure on Flux part too because I sat there. This shows come a long way. I knew I was going to wet willy him ahead of time and I sat there and I looked at it. Fluck didn't put it in the video because he fucking missed it. But I sat there, looked at the camera like this. Like winding up.

Is that a chinchilla? And then Cody looks and I shoved it right in his fucking here. Hi, Brandon. Hello. Hey, Brandon. He's back from D.C. I saw you on the TV. I'm still mad.

I'm still mad. We were both in D.C. last night. Were we? Yeah. Oh, shit. I was just about to tell a Brandon story, too. Hi, handsome. I was going to make one up. You're going to kiss my neck there.

Oh, for the... Brandon, wait, before you go. Here, stand right here. Get in here. Okay. We were all, all of us here were at the bar, and we all drove separate. Who got pulled over? Dang it.

Okay. Wait, also, we have another argument to say. settle. Brandon, have I ever been to this house before? Have you ever seen me in this house? Yes. Thank you. Yeah, you've been here before. You've got, you're here. No, you forgot the memory. I swear I see you in the fucking kitchen. You came over, yeah.

I have a selective photographic memory and there is not a photograph in my memories of me and this. I have never been to this house. You've been in this house. You've been here before. Everybody, but you remembers you being here. I would remember. King of picks, your mental picks. Yeah. We're not reverse gas lighting you. So I'm, I, I didn't

No, which side of the argument was going to be on, by the way. No, your photographic memory is just stick figures. Well, it's shades brown or white. It's also, it's also not a photographic memory. No. Got a memory like a gold thing. Connor. There's Connor.

There was a will-to-beast hunt. I've got, I've got no reason to lie, Your Honor. I've never, I don't think I've ever been to this house, Nick. I've been to this house. You've been here before. Yeah, that's how I'm like, what? Like, everyone here is like, we've spent a lot of time together at, at other places.

Yes. But we, I specifically you remember here. Yes. See, I have, how would I have come here

and I've not been on the podcast? No, because you came in. You came in. Like everybody out there is doing, you did the quiet, like whisper like, hey,

what's going on guys? Chris, how can you come be at the house without being on the podcast? Look at the room with seven people in it in front of you.

Yeah, but they've all been on the podcast. No, they've not. Oh. No. Nobody except Brandon. Oh. Yeah.

Yeah, from time to time. Sometimes. I've never. I swear is it? There would be a photo somewhere. I'm gonna find it. There would be a photo. So that'll be a challenge.

For those of you watching, if you can find a photo of me in this house, free. Oh my gosh. I got merch. I got merch on Bunker Branding. You get two T-shirts. You were here because we went to, I'm gonna find, I'm gonna get whatever the prize he just listed was. Two T-shirts, two T-shirts. We really opened that wall.

The restaurant we came from today. I got it like, y'all. We went to, you were here and then we went to the restaurant we came from and then you live streamed from the restaurant. I never left the restaurant. My first time at, he remembers. Yeah, because we sat at the table by, we set at the table by the bathroom. I've never been in. We did a shooting competition at Jake's house because Eli brought that weird ass.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. And we came back here and went from here to that restaurant. Yes. Yes, he's 100% right. You've been there. We, we, we sat at the long table by the. the bathroom. Because I rode with Brandon in the cyber truck to my truck.

You ordered a smash burger. I got a smash burger today too. Yeah. Did I drive the cyber truck? No, no, no. You, okay. I rode with you. Okay.

In the pasture, came back at my truck. We all came back here. Because we also went to his house. You want to add Brandon to this? Brandon, you want to get added? It might be. Yeah, we can just add you real quick because we just. I can't be here the whole time,

but I can jump in. Yeah, you're cool. I do, I do remember going to your house because I remember the MP 7 and I was like oh this is cool okay you know what okay share her mic listen listen okay check I will concede I will concede

hey guys I've been here before there yes I have been here before told you oh now you're like no because when he painted the picture because I do remember doing the live stream you run the yeah and then because that was just the that was just like the group this it was a small it wasn't the the range day

it was just a group of us yes then I remember riding in the cyber truck and I didn't realize how fast they go. Spooky fast. Speed limit. They go to speed limit. They go to speed limit. I didn't realize how quickly they go from zero to the speed limit.

But I do remember going to his house because of the MP7, but I did. Okay. Okay. You know what? Yeah, I was like, I swear. I'm really good at admitting when I'm wrong. I don't know if you guys know this and I've been married 20 years. Yeah.

After the first 20 minutes of the podcast where we argue about it, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. So where were we? Oh, I was going to tell my first range day. story talking about the the group and everything you just tell darnel about hennessy for the love of god he's about to chew his fingernails off he's been over there and drooling it's a chopping at the bit

i want to drooling i want that purple stuff about henisey but uh i got invited to uh range day was my first range day which uh you guys had hosted for cody and brandon had hosted anyway for a few years and it was the first one uh i had been invited to because i met cody and brandon and all you guys when I got, came down for unsub, three, four years ago. And for some reason, in my imagination, the range day was like,

10 people. That's like, these are just off wins. And we come out and shoot guns. So, and I was broke as fuck. Still am. But I hit up, hit up Brandon. And I was like, hey, man, where should I stay at? Like, when I'm going down there, like, what's close by?

And he told me, like, the general area or whatever. And I looked at the hotel. And it was like, $1,200 a night or something. Oh my gosh. And I was like, can I just like crash at your house? Like, is that a big deal? And he's like, I fucking guess so, dude.

And then he never left. It's full circle. Like, it was so imposing. I thought it was just like, 10 people are going to be there. Like, I was like, oh, you know, like, six people are going to be in town. Yeah. Of the four people who live here, like, maybe we're just,

we just crash at each other's houses or whatever. he very thankfully said yes so i crashed in his fucking house we show up to the first which thank you show up to the the the range day and there's like hundreds of people and i was like oh my god i have overstepped so extremely got a bigger boat yeah and then when people are like oh what where are you at and i'm like um i'm staying at brandon's house yeah and then that was the night i think you got belligerently drunk and threatened to fuck my couch i didn't threaten to fuck your couch i told you i would Wait a second. That was a problem.

It was the couch wearing. Nothing. So that's kind of the mindset. Like anytime I've come down here, I've crashed with somebody. And the only time I stayed in a hotel was when Cody was moving into his house. And I was staying at his house, driving his vehicles, eating his food. And the third day, he was like, yeah, you got to go. Well, he just moved in.

That's true, too. Also, you know, give him a couple of years. There's other people that live there. So when I was on my floor, light here, show text me. She was like, did you book a hotel? And I was like, was I supposed to? And she was like, so then I called Cody and Cody was like, oh yeah,

you can just stay at the unsub house. So I was like, oh yeah, they said I could stay at the unsub house. She's like, it's full. We got you. And I was like, oh my gosh. Is it full? Yeah. Who's in the other room? Darno. Oh, my bad. You didn't see him? Yeah. I didn't know who it was tan here. I thought he had a place in town. He was leaking. He lives in California.

Jesus. I don't know that. Darno it was my office. So, as, as was racist, I'm sorry. This is why I don't come to these fucking things. Jonathan Walton here from Queen of the Con with a brand new podcast series to tell you about. It's called Hardcore Con.

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listen to hardcore con wherever you get your podcasts just search hardcore con speaking at henisee let's tell that story well yeah we gotta get back to that Hennessy history that's the title of this episode hency history black people like Tennessee i genuinely don't know world one world one yeah yeah you didn't know that the french the french like were notoriously not racist towards black people during World War I. Right. They are now. Well, depending on which God you pray to.

So yeah, I mean, it was like a lot of black people's experience, like just getting treated like an equal and the French. You got to talk about the doughboys. Go ahead. So America in the early 1900s before we full, well, it was right when we entered. World War I, we were like, man, we are about to be involved in this European war. We got to send a lot of young men over to die. Who do we send first? You'll never get.

Why look at me? Don't look at me. It was black guys. So we sent over a bunch of young black men over to fight. A bunch of Yens. A bunch of Yans with their shy steers out. We're at, twin. Picked him up in Atlanta.

No, this is back when they were. I almost god, no. You're making me racist. Sorry. I'm making you racist. No, you're encouraging it. So what he's saying, I'm going to translate that. What he's saying is his racism becomes more present when there's people of color around.

Go ahead. Finish your story. That is precisely what I said. That's how it works. God, he won't shut up. That's how it works, folks. Hey, huh, hello? Now, I ain't doing nothing.

Just a little pie cat. Sorry, go ahead. Go ahead. You got to hold it like a piece of toast. That is enough. I'll reel it in. Can you grab me a sprite with no ice, please? How long have you guys been going?

Way shorter than you think. This is, yeah, we're just, what are we on six minutes in? How long it take you to break out the knife hand right there? Did I, was that, did I do the knife hand? You knife handed. Editor, pull it up. That is enough.

B.S. of the dough boys, we sent over like a bunch of, of like young black men as like infantry soldiers why and some might call them was doboys exclusively black though yes really i am fairly certain yes i didn't think so i thought that was just a general like a general that was a general slang term for americans oh really yeah oh well i know the like the first uh group of soldiers because it was the army was still racially segregated at the time because that was until fDR when they dropped segregation so there were like black infantry units and that's who the U.S. sent first over to France, like to the front lines, and they were just throwing men, like, cannon fodder.

Was that the Harlem Hill fighters, or was that later? They were one of them. Yeah, one of segregated units. But, yeah, so they went to France, and that was the first time that, like, France was fully integrated. There was, like, no segregation, anything. They could drink in bars with white people. It was no big deal whatsoever.

And at that time, yeah, like Hennessey was very popular, or coniac, rather. was very popular in France. So all of these like black dude, American black dudes, were over in France hanging out in the bars, which also, this was right before Prohibition too, going, boozing it up with all these beautiful French women. And, yeah, came back home and they just had a taste for it. Yeah.

Passed it down from generation to generation. Stuck around. It tastes like shit. I don't get it. I fucking hate Hennessy. 1740. It's 38. Yeah.

So it's funny you bring up 1738 because during my time in law enforcement, we came up with our, we used to use 10 codes. And so we came up with our own codes. So like if you go on a call, I probably shouldn't say this, but you know it is what it is. Were you getting legal trouble for saying this? No. Okay, then say it. If you go. There's a lot of hang time on that response.

I don't know. Maybe. I might get a phone call. I might get a nasty email. Send it. So if you go on a call and there's an attractive young woman, then you on the radio to your zone partner say, yeah, we've got a 1738 over here. And we did this for the longest time. Like I'm talking.

It was like, you know, I'd hit my zone partner and be like, you got any 1738's going on right now. And he'd say, he'd say, yeah, he's like, he's like, it's borderline. And then so it got to the point where dispatch is now like calling us like, hey, what is a 1738? And we're like, oh, don't worry about it. It's a tactical term. You know, some of the SWAT guys use it to, you know, communicate what we have. You know, we kind of want to keep it under wraps. See, now that kind of lie works until somebody uses it in a fucking press conference.

It's not a lie. It's a ruse. And hear me out. Hear me out. If I am using a certain code word or number to describe the situation, which I have to describe personnel, vehicles, clothing descriptions, all of that, if I'm using a certain code word to describe the situation that I'm handling, fair game yeah if everybody else understands what you mean well then well the people who know no well then you don't have to you don't have to explain the etymology of the code don't be using

big words like that because he used the word etymology earlier and I don't think I like it first off I'm allergic to that oh yeah I'm not gonna say the word we were looking up the etymology yeah but but it means to be miserly oh I know the words stingy Stingy. Oh, Oh, I told me, look,

he's reading it, he's like, oh. Why'd you have to do that in my frame, dude? He's reading it, he says,

it says, Stingy, and I was like, I would have thought it would have said lazy. And I was like, oh. Me and Darnel have a skit written

about this. I did not sign up for this. Neither did I. You know, I'm coming back from the fucking airport, and I'm like, been busy for the last fucking week, and I'm like,

you know what, I'll pop in and say hi to my friends. There's no way this will go wrong. There's an alternate reality where I just decided to go home. Ugh. I hate chords. Oh, don't get me started with the different connections. USBC, lightning, the other ones, it should be illegal.

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hey, where did you hear about us? Tell them unsubs in their regards. And my life was so much easier. It's like that Veterans Day episode. Yeah. Oh, God, the forced valor bit. The amount of people that were saying at the, like, the 250, they're like, why aren't you walking out the fighters?

Oh my gosh. Like, fuck off. Dude, you were surrounded by soldiers and like, how many people saluted you? All of them. Funny story. So there were a lot of, there were a lot of soldiers, sailors, everything at the 250. And like, a lot of the guys were like shy about coming up. For all of you that did come up and we had conversations and everything, you guys were my favorite part.

You guys were fucking fantastic. none of them saluted because they were so they were all in uniform like dress blues class a's whatever uh they had their bosses breathing down their necks they weren't allowed to drink like they were they basically like you're getting the best tickets in the fucking country right now that all of your friends want do not fuck this up i'm good dude they look like do not have fun yeah dude they were standing at parade rest they're like right this is a great Fuck. So I got an opportunity.

Dude, yes. I got an opportunity to get military tickets. And I was on the phone with one of the guys from the state. And he was like, you have to be in a class. Or he's like, it's going to be a great time. Well, kind of. Kind of. Like, you kind of went here?

I was in the area. Had a little issue with Secret Service. No big deal. No big deal. Sounds like a big deal. Well, it wasn't. It wasn't. But he said that.

He was like, you can. You can go, but you have to be in class A's. And I was like, my class A's haven't been updated in the last two promotions. I'm not spending money for this. I'm not a fan of going to D.C. I'll put that. Despite living 30 miles outside of the city. Secret service.

That's a dope when that wizard looks so gangster. That's a technical security division of Secret Service. Not that kind of wizard. Let me show darn out the way. Like the spellcaste, like Gandalf the Greg. Grand wizard. Yeah. Grand off the Nazi.

Oh my gosh. I hope my wife doesn't watch this episode. Oh my goodness. Shouts out Secret Service. Shouts out to all the Metro PD guys. Shouts out to all the service members there. You guys were fucking awesome the entire time, despite not having any fun.

A lot of those guys were saying it was funny because I had an interaction with a couple of the seals out there. They haven't written books to my knowledge, but they're working on it. They're working on it. They were saying like, oh, well, I'm actually glad that we didn't drink just because, like, that fight card was so amazing, like that, especially that last fight. Like, I was glad I was able to appreciate it sober. And I just kind of looked at him.

I said, that sounds like cope. And one of the guys broke. He's like, it's weapons grade. It is. It is. Yeah, they were talking about, like, some of the restrictions and everything else. And I was like, that doesn't sound like fun. It doesn't sound like fun.

I can go to D.C. and go to one of my friend's house, and we can just have the fight on, order food. We're not in a Class A uniform, you know, have some of the boys over and just have a good time. So that's what we did. That also sounds like Cope. It's weapons grade, Co. But I was one metro stop away from the airport. So no matter what time I got up, I was going to make it to my flight today. So it was like, all right, cool.

We're one metro stop away. I can watch the fight. Have a good time. So that's what I did. Cope. How is your? experience. It was right.

It was I. It was cool. Honestly, it was blown away because I, I, I didn't know. I was told by, I, I'll shout him out. Fucking Chuck hook me the fuck up. Like Chuck Liddell, long time homie, fucking awesome guy. Just called me 2 a.m. You were, you were there for that.

Yeah, you're in my kitchen, 2 o'clock in the morning. We'd been in D.C. for, like, politic and for a week. DC and then Houston for the convention So like I had just gotten back to my house And I'm just like oh thank God I get to chill for a couple days And Chuck calls me 2 a.m. He's like yeah basically I've been able to get you the hookup Like good in Chuck's voice though

All right so I was able to get a You gotta do the breathing We love you check Please don't knock me out He uh but yeah he was able to pull it through Like make it happen He's just like get on a fucking plane We'll figure it out

I don't have a ticket for you yet but you will have one. And I'm like, sounds like I'm going to get kind of, it sounds like one of those things that might fall through the cracks. I'm not sure, but like,

you know what, it's too good of an opportunity and I trust Chuck. Send it. Just send it. Went to the hotel. It's an hour before the fight. I don't have a ticket yet.

Oh my gosh. I'm, I can see the venue from my hotel room and I'm just like, this is going to suck. 50, 50. 50. But it all worked out.

And it was fucking incredible. So Chuck, thank you so much for coming through on that. It's funny, there was a lot of members of Congress and things like that. They were there because I didn't know what kind of tickets it was going to be. I didn't know if it was going to be like there was the lawn where they had the big arena thing where you could see it from the screens. It was in the arena. Yeah. Like it was across.

There was the two areas, the ellipse, I think, and then the South Juan. Yeah. And we were like in the South one. And so I appreciate the shit out of that. But there were members of Congress that were there that I know now. from work my other day job and they were all just like why the fuck are you here how are you here you know like don't worry about that it's it's a long fucking story this many roads led me here I have many pathways to get here

have you asked chat gtp yeah what I've done Gt one one of these days Eli will get it right at each three letters chat GTA GP chat GTP I say GTP deleted chat it's just GPD. Jankster P.T. Oh, that, okay. I hate that's gonna work. Just remember.

It's gonna work every time from now on. Yeah. Cat, I farted in French. Chat. Chat. I gave him something so simple and easy that he would remember. And you just went in like the men in black with a neuralizer. Let me make this fucking useless.

He barely speaks English. Yeah. I thought maybe he spoke French. Oh, you're not French? You're making fun of him for fucking up English. And you're like, you know what would have? help another language. I thought he was French. You're not French? He's not French. What race are you? We? Great bread.

Long bread. I'm being a baghead. Jeez. It's going to sound pretty sure there's a different letter in that. I'm just trying to catch it. Listen. If Rich is still active, somehow, you're not going to get in trouble. It's funny you say that because like I'll text Rich and we're kind of racist sometimes and I'm usually like 50-50 on whether you and rich are cops you didn't have to say that you didn't have to say that this episode is brought to you by L'Oreal Group beauty is a powerful force that moves us

that's why L'Oreal Group has built a business that is inclusive at its heart with 100% of its brands championing diversity with 25,000 professional opportunities for people under 30 worldwide and 54% of leading positions held by women. Diversity is a strength that helps Loreal Group create the best beauty products for all people. Visit Loreal.com to learn more. Dear Chris's wife, I've never met you, I apologize for this episode. But I'm like, I'll send him a text or send him like a meme or something.

It's 50-50. I was like, I probably shouldn't have sent that to him. He might not respond. And he responds with something even worse. And I'm like, oh, it's game time. And it is just. You met Rich? Yes.

Yes. We're actually talking about his podcast, sitting and listening to two cops talk. For me, being law enforcement and National Guard, essentially black rich, the black prince of pepperbox, listening to these, don't laugh at that. Why are you laughing so hard right now? You, you, wow. Wow. You know what? I did not, it be your own people.

I thought, hey. I thought, come on, and slacks you, dog. You're the dog. It be you, you don't. Wow. Oh my gosh. Hey, cab, brother.

I don't know, I, you know what? That just completely derailed the whole thing. It's, it, I say all that to say, Rich and I are very similar and listening to like his stories. It is the funniest. thing because every cop has similar stories, some of them the same, but when he puts his rich spin on it, with his

what state is he from? New York. With his New York accent, it's like, nah, car, car, car. It's like, come on, and this fucking guy. I don't think it's his accent as much as it is his volume. Yeah. That New York volume. Yeah, it's the volume in the hair.

We got to put him in the back with the loudies. You missed it, Brandon. We had a We got, we got, we got, we know. Please don't explain it. It's not racist. It's not racist at all. It's, it's volume.

Are you sure? It's segregation by volume. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So he wants the front of the plane to be quiet people. Yeah. And then everybody on the back talks on their speaker phone like they're holding a piece of toast.

All right. And they loud, and they loudly chomp gum. What do you mean by that? Who are you pictories? Congressman Brandon. Black male dreadlocks. He's running. I will say this.

By association, I'm getting motherfucked on this run. I will say this. There have been a ton of suspect descriptions. And without fail, and I got in trouble because I would start my body cam recording while radio traffic is coming in. And they'd be like, standby for a description. I'd be like, black male dreadlocks.

And they'd say black male dreadlocks. And then someone would do a video review be like, why did you say that? It was like, oh, because because my, it was an echo. Yeah, it was, it was, is a correct assumption.

Either way. Red apple. I've been in the office a handful of times over my body. Guess who? There's one. There's one guess. Is he blind?

Is it Devontre? How'd you know? We have that, too. What kind of stis are we making? Apparently racist ones. Yeah, it's darn element. That pickup truck was doing 50 and a 35, but I got a dreadhead over here in this sedan.

I don't call him dreadheads. I'm so glad that Eli is like, we're gonna start a skit show. You know, it'd be funny if I brought my friend and we wrote a bunch of racists and made all our white friends get canceled. Let me bring the one black guy I know down to Texas. What it's worth, it does bring me a lot of joy watching you, y'all squeal with racism. Oh, I'm 100% going to get a phone call and an email from people who watch this. 100%.

I still have a work email. You have a real job? Why the fuck did you come on here? I've got two jobs. And they're both... One for the plug and one for those. I don't know what that means. You're like the Kevin Gates of jobs.

I don't know what that means. I don't know what that means. There's no plug and there's no hose. To my wife, if you're watching, there's no plug and there's no hose. Definitely no hose. I'm so sorry, Brian. I'm like, wait, and come sit down. This is the episode we bring in our black friends and somehow it's more racist. I don't get it.

Surprise. Surprise. Surprise, motherfucker. We bring it with us. It's in my carry-on. You'll laugh at this ship, too, all right? Yeah. Hey, sometimes you got a laugh to keep from.

crying. Nick, how are you doing? I'm good. I've never seen Nick laugh so hard. It's okay. I'm blank. It brings me true joy. Good. Good. Wow. Wow. Wait, tell you here, Vincent. We need the poo. Yeah. I read the script. I read the script. I've been working on that character the entire, like, the entire flight.

I'm like, Tiga. You know what I mean? It's like, how do I? How do I make this script? How do I become the character? And I'm like on the plane and I'm like, you know, sitting next to like some senior citizen. You gotta be bouncy, bouncy, bouncy, bouncy, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun. Tiga. You can read the first draft? T-I.

So show sent me a draft and then she sends me a text. She was like, what size T-shirt and underwear are you? And I'm like, whoa! What's you working with? I was like, so I texted my wife. I was like, hey, what size underwear do you normally buy me? She was like, medium. I was like, okay, yeah.

Thanks, babe. A woman was asking me. Well, I didn't say that. I dare not say that. But if she knew, she'd be like, who is that? That's not how she sounds, but that's... Who is? Who that is texting your phone?

That's your wife's voice. No, she's well-spoken, just like me. Jesus, fuck. You're not making it better. Am I making it worse? Yeah. Darnel, help me. I'm 100% I'm gonna get an email.

What are they gonna say? Again, Rich is still employed. That's what I always go with. But Rich also has a lot of followers. I'm still working my way up. Rich hasn't exactly that's the easiest path. That's true. Then again, so with streaming,

there's a lot of stuff that I say on stream that I'm like, I'm gonna have to delete this video. I can't let this one ride. Delete the Vod. Yeah. But I haven't gotten an email or phone call about that yet. So maybe, I don't know. we'll see.

Thankfully, only hundreds of thousands people will watch this episode. Oh gosh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's fine.

It's fine. I could retire today. Right? Yeah, I could... It'll be fine. I got real hard on stream. Oh, my gosh. I got $1,400 in the bank account.

That'll last... I don't have that much. Three weeks. I don't have that much. Oh, well. Time to scale it. So you got this. Yeah, I got this.

I got this. I don't need no job. So how long? A police force for how long? I just hit 19 years. Yeah. Oh, retirement's around. Well, we'll see.

We'll see. So during my active duty time, they have to hold my position for up to five years. So I'm coming up on the three year mark. And every October, when the fiscal year starts over again, when my orders are renewed, they're like, hey, are you coming back? And I'm like, orders just got extended. And so I don't have to offer anything other than I just send them my orders and I'm covered for the next two and a half years. Whereas my overall career started in 2007.

Yeah, 2007, 2008. So once I hit the 20 year mark, then it's like I can kind of just send it from there. But with the military, I'm at 15 years. So do I ride that out or do I get out? No. retire now I'll bully you into it like I did Ethan oh my god what Connor what are you doing I'm fuming brother you fuming okay you ain't never seen nobody cheap a fume like this boy can fume responsibly look at Connor I'm cured from what my oral

fixation I would have something else in my mouth right now but thanks to fume it's not made of human flesh can I have that please you want to hit my fume bro I do It's also got a fidget movement on it. For those who are tactically challenged. Made that shit up. Tactilically is a rare, often non-standard adverb of the form tactile used to describe interacting with or understanding something through the sense of touch, physical feel, or haptic feedback. P-you. Pass me my fume, bro.

We're fuming it up. Dude, look at how fucking cool he looks. He's getting fumed out of his mind. I'm not to fume too much, bro. My favorite flavor is orange vanilla, because it tastes like somebody near you at a coffee shop ordered an Earl Grey tea. Crisp mint. Yeah, one time I was really, really fiending for something I legally cannot say in this advertisement. But instead, I reached for my fume and boy, oh, oh, did that hit the spot?

Use code unsub to get a free gift with your journey pack. Fume has already helped over 700,000 people take steps towards better habits. and now it's your turn. Head to tryfume.com, that's t ryfum.com. Use code unsub to get a free gift today. What's the, what's... Five years and he'll make like a thousand dollars a month, which a thousand dollars a month can be great,

but if you spend five years versus invest in that time into what you're doing now... What's the pension change? I don't know. That seems like an important thing. Yeah, I think that would be a thing. You should probably find... You know, it's funny you say that because you're absolutely right.

It is, it is important. It is, it is important. And. Donnell's rubbing his skin. Hey, we don't, we don't plan for the future. We don't plan for the future. I'm living for right now. No, but it's, it's, I'm, you know, I'm getting older.

It's, it's, it's time to start looking at that. And, and with, you know, with everything that I do with, with, with having these two jobs, stop, can you stop laughing? I'm, I'm sitting in, I'm like the buffer zone between like somebody, having their moment their first time on unsub, this is their big break and just Brandon regretting every life decision he's made in the past 30 minutes. I'll be honest. I could have just

stopped at Chick-fil-A, gone home. Who would have known, of all the episodes, this would be the one Brandon would regret the most? Honestly, I didn't know you were the guest right now, and I would have known. You know. You know. It's okay. There's like seven.

Chase, cut that. Cut that. Cut the fucking. of that. Come back to everybody laughing really hard at my joke though. Chase, that's what? Oh my gosh. It's true. Chase, use your discretion on this episode. Yeah, so speaking of that, she blocked me on Twitter a while back, so I made a burner account just to check and see what she was up to. She hasn't had a tweet in like three months. She's giving up. I engaged with her on Twitter one time. And I try to play this nice like the first time like I I called her to congratulate her on you know her nomination and said hey oh we should do like lunch or something like that I'm like trying to try to be like civil

you didn't offer to pay did you it'd be expensive I know you got money but damn by the farm I reached out and trying to make things you know I'm trying to be civil of course and then the first time she really tried to go hard on me on Twitter like just called me like all sorts of like just horrible shit tactical air all I did was respond I didn't even call in our audience and say like, hey, go bully. I just replied, and the unsub audience bullied

her off of the platform. She hasn't posted in three months, two months. It's like the eye of Sauron. It doesn't take much. God, I just want to know that one individual that was on her team, it's like, yeah, this tweet's going to show him.

And again, I have Sauron. It's like, that's good. Immediately. Yeah Yeah Politics We stay at them

Yeah Don't throw stones if you're built like a house I mean that shirt Somebody write that down Somebody write that down I'm going to post that on X That's such a good shirt Don't throw

stones if you're built like a house friends like god i hate my friends so much good good good me better friends oh you miss it the last episode um Steve yeah Steve was like this is in the after show and Nick

it's my jujitsu coach in the after show Nick goes yeah Brandon's face in heavy competition heavy talking about

uh Katie Darnel, I'd love one too, babe. He's doing a, it was Nick doing very well executed jokes without saying something directly. Heavy competition. We've got to tip the scales in your favor. All like that. And then,

indirect fire. And every joke was just flying over his head. And he goes, what's she running on? And I go, now to fucking treadmill. Oh my gosh. And then we talked about the heels. And the structural support. Oh, my goodness.

I thought she's not allowed to wear them anymore. Why? In Texas, she'll fucking strike oil. Oh, my gosh, dude. I just picture a little sprigets of oil. I don't know why that made me... That made me think of the Beverly Hillbillies where the oil's just shooting out.

Jeez. Brandon's like, again. Brandon's probably going to want this one. Brandon. You know, friends like these. Look, I said it on the last episode. I was like, look, I didn't say a single word about her weight until she called my friend a Nazi, which is objectively a lie.

If she's allowed to lie about my friends, I'm allowed to tell the truth. Jeez. Fuck off. Summer routines live or die by how easy they are. And honestly, if something takes too much effort, I'm out. That's why Grooons is my go-to. It's one daily pack of gummies covering my greens, vitamins, and minerals. Plus, it has six grams of prebiotic fiber, which is more than two cups of broccoli.

No mixing powders, no giant pills, no hassle. I just rip open the pack, and I'm done. They taste so good and make it easy to stay on top of my health. Even when life gets busy. Save up the 52% off with code podcast at grooms.co. That's code podcast at g-r-n-s.c-o. To be fair, that was my strategy against Tony. It's like, if you're going to fucking lie about me,

I'll tell the truth about you all day long. Old tone. That dude was disgusting. It's worse than people know. Still, to this day, there's shit that hasn't come out that probably will. Yeah. When I eventually write a book. Well, he was responding there for a while.

He was like, I think he still had a dog in the fight. And then those text messages, good Lord. And then the second set of text messages from a different woman. Yeah. Oh, monie, Tony. Still my favorite thing that came from all of that was that one allegation. Because I think it was Charlie.

That was Charlie. I still can't. We were all sitting together when he went on that podcast trying to deflect after he had, he had been denying the affair. And then he went on that one dude's podcast and was like, okay, all of that, all of that stuff was true. But that's not why she took her life. She actually took her life because her husband's secretly gay. and Brandon threw his fucking

Oh my gosh. I cannot believe he just did that. I hucked my phone into my backyard. I'm pretty sure. I was so fucking pissed. I don't think I've, I'm usually a pretty chill to anger guy. Like I'm very,

but that's also insane. Like, because at this point, like I knew her husband. Like I consider him a friend now. Like he's just great guy. Yeah. Terrible situation.

And, uh, and to hear that come out of his mouth, I was livid. Good Lord. To a degree that I don't think. any of my friends have seen me. Yeah.

Like, I was pissed. Jeez. That was insane. Politics. Insane deflection. Like just, I couldn't, if you gave me time, I don't know if I could have come up with a worse response to that.

It wasn't the fact that you ruined her life and took away her family and job. No, no, no, no. Oh, let me, let me. It's because you're, it's our husband's fault. It's like, fuck you, man. Well, then if I'm remembering correctly,

it was like two days, later he came forward and was like, no, that was all, that was actually all bullshit. Everything I've said so far is a lie. Well, it was pathological liar because like he, because he was spending his time talking about how, oh, this is all political slander. Brandon Herrera is actually the liar. He's making all this up for political gain. Can you believe he's doing this? That's what he's telling like his donors and his crowd and everything like that. And then he's like, oh, well, actually, no, I was lying the entire time, but you should believe me this time. I was lying then, but I Stop that.

Oh, no, no, no. Now I'm telling the truth. He talked to God. Remember? God forgave him. God. He talked to God and God forgave him that night. Which it's like, yeah, you should seek forgiveness for that.

But like, it was his, uh, I think his direct quote was on that same podcast. It was, uh, I asked God to forgive me. And he has. And he did. And I'm like, well, I'm sorry. I forgot district 23 came with the arc of the fucking covenant. And this was a two way radio. It was the implication that he has a direct line of communication with God,

himself. Geez. I'm glad he's not only gone, but like politically radioactive. Yeah, no, I was touching him forever. I was going, what's he doing now? Well, I mean, his... Hopefully nothing involving women. Yeah. Uber driving. That's one thing that Cody brought up that I never thought of.

I was like, this guy was a master chief in the Navy for a long time. It's like, good Lord. He's got a trail of disaster. Guaranteed. Possibly, allegedly. E2s and E3 is under him. Like that sort of pattern of behavior. Yeah, that's skee as fuck.

You don't, yeah, you don't wake up one morning and become a, like, a person like that. No. There's just like how terribly he was at Dirty Talk. But he looks like the kind of guy. Yeah, he so would say the things that he said. He has that look. You want to see my peepee? Yeah.

Ooh, my pee pee is so hard. Does that, does that make your vagina get bigger? I was like, bro, do you, are we, are we both hard, right? now? Is your pretty hard? That's how it works, right? We both get hard and you just slam them together. That was one of my favorite parts. I'm like, not only now does everybody

know, everybody in the district know, you are what you have been this entire time. But now they also know you sexed like a 13 year old boy. Like it just, it was embarrassingly bad. Like somebody who's never communicated to a woman in his entire life. And all while claiming to be, you know, like a be all and old Christian family man. But that's the thing is people will do the most diabolical stuff and then immediately turn to Christianity once they get caught. And it's like, wait, where's the evidence of any of this in your past? Like, I get it.

You can change your ways. But don't claim Christianity just because you got caught. Yeah, as a defense mechanism. And then say, oh, well, God forgave me. So I'm good. So you guys should still vote for me. No, you did heinous things. You should probably, I don't know.

step aside. Or, yeah, consult God privately. Yeah. Don't make it a, don't make it a show. I'm a Catholic. I'm a bad one, but I'm a Catholic. Yeah. So is he. You're not one of the, you're not one of the good ones. Also, to my wife, I'm so sorry. I apologize. I love you very much. All right. Go ahead. Chase, cut that out. Send me that. No, send me that. All right. Chase. And we're back. And any of the audio so it says, I hate my wife. Different clips. Finn.

Finn. Fins just start. Do everything I asked Chase to do. Right now we're just opening the tops. We do. We got to, wait, okay. Yeah, we got to rewind like 10 minutes. We got this.

We can insert it. We can talk about your opponent. We can talk about, I want to know your U.S. Did you? How's it going? Well, yeah, you're doing the run. Yeah, before now. We do, how was actually security getting into that?

That'd be next. I didn't make it in security. It was not as crazy as you think. Well, it clearly wasn't as crazy as you think. Sean Strickland still made it in. Did you see that? Which is insane. He got an escort.

Yeah. Yep. I think he got charged with disorderly conduct. At least that's what he said on his Instagram story. I think that's what he said. He's like, I had to charge him. Was it metropedi that charged him? I have no idea.

Because you don't even have to pay. You don't have to show up the court. don't have to pay it. Like, that's... Especially if you don't live there. Yeah, you're good. I mean, this is a legal advice. As long as you don't live there, you don't have to show up to court.

You can get a bench warrant. It doesn't matter. It's not legal advice. They might try to suspend your driver's license or something, but it's not that big of Georgia. No, my driver's license is suspended in the state of Georgia. I had a bench warrant. What did you do?

So, I, me and my buddy went on a road trip from Indiana down to, uh, his uncle's place in Coco, not Coco Beach, just Coco, Florida. And we were doing trips back and forth. And it was my turn to drive through Georgia. And we were passing Macon. And I definitely was not, according to the legal documentation, going like 20 over. That's not that bad. And Georgia, who cares?

I got charged for it. I got charged because I was going. 14 over. I'm just saying you don't have to do the allegedly thing if you've already been charged. Yeah, no, I definitely was not going 20 over. I was going 14 over. So I definitely wasn't going 20 over and I got pulled over. I took a highway exit because there was like real thick forests on either side of the highway and there was a little clearing with a Georgia State Trooper and he guns it out and I immediately merged to the right line. I was going to take the next. exit and I was like, well, just pull into a gas station, like we're filling up. And there's no way he'll

remember what car I was driving. He remembered what car I was driving. So we got pulled over and I swear it was this guy's like first day on the job. He was super nervous, which kind of like every time I've been pulled over, it's like, yes sir, no, sir, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But he seemed like really nervous. Was it nighttime? No, it's like middle of the afternoon. I was going to say he might not have seen a driver. Were you wearing your shirt that says I can run faster horny than you can scared? I was. No, actually I was wearing my gun that said

officer, I have a gun and I'm willing to shoot. But he's like, cops make me horny and I can run fast. You just got to make sure that you just like save him the time and grab your wallet back, you know. But yeah, he's like real nervous. We like bing bonged through the normal fucking traffic stop shit. He comes back. I was super, you know,

ice with him and he's like well I clocked you going 14 over which is one mile an hour under reckless driving in the state of Georgia geez and so I was like all right cool well on their tickets it says it has weather and traffic conditions so it was a clear day it was the lightest traffic it was you know the road conditions were perfect like basically the way that tickets written out. It's like, if you're gonna speed, these are the ideal conditions. So anyway, I get that the fucking ticket. I get a court date set. We go to Florida. We go back home. And I thought it was one of those things. I could just call into the courthouse like, hey, the day of. Well, no, no. You can't do that. Sir.

Sir. My name is Connor. That's true. I called in like, sorry officer. I didn't know I couldn't do that. Zbiotics is a surefire way to wake up feeling refreshed after a long night with the friends. Zbiotics, pre-alcohol, probiotic, is the world's first genetically engineered probiotic. Probiotic. Probiotic. I got the word right. You want to know how it works? Magic.

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I'll pay it. And I call in and I was like, hey, I got this traffic ticket. You know, I want to plead guilty, pay the fine. And she was like, no, you have a court date set. I was like, okay. So I live in Indiana. How do I go about pleading guilty? And she was like, well, you'll have to arrive for your court date

to plead guilty. That's crazy. I was like, can I plead guilty over the phone or in writing? Yeah. Or like send an attorney on my behalf? She goes, no, you have to appear in person, which this is a clerk at the courthouse. Yeah. So contact an attorney.

I'm sure she knew the minimum amount of information. So I was like, what if hypothetically I didn't show up? She goes, well, the judge will set a bench warrant for your arrest. and then eventually you might get arrested in the state of Georgia but your license will be suspended. That's insane. So never went back to Georgia.

I attempted to plead guilty. If a judge is watching in the state of Georgie, Georgia, I'd love to plead guilty. I'd love to pay that fine. I don't want my license, you know, reinstated in the state of Georgia. But so far as it currently stands, my driver's license is revoked in the state of Georgia. to Georgia. And if I get caught in Georgia, I might go to jail. I used to always tell people like,

look, it's probably going to cost less if you just pay the fine. Because if you go to court and you're found guilty, which I didn't pull over anybody who wasn't indeed guilty, why are you laughing at that? Don't laugh at that. But I would tell them it's probably going to be cheaper because if you pay the fine, then it's just the fine. If you come to court, it's the fine plus the legal fees, the clerk's office fees plus travel and everything else if you're out of state. And so I would tell people say, look, you can pay this online or you can come to court. If you pay online, this is what it generally looks like. If you don't come to court or if you want to come to court, this is what it generally looks like. Most people didn't come to court because I had to be there

because if I wasn't, well, I'd be charged. And that's happened before. So that was, yeah. Wayne, well, really? Every time I've gone to court, the cops never show up. I got, I'm not going, I can't go into detail, but a few years ago, I was charged with failure to appear, and I was arraigned. I'm in uniform at my arraignment deciding if I want to represent myself or have court-appointed counsel. I didn't know that happens. I thought it was just like, oh, the cop didn't in the show, so you're in the clear. No, some jurisdictions, it's different depending on where you are.

But for mine, I had some other, some other tardiness and things like that. Because I think constitutionally, it's you have a right to face your accuser. I think is the way it works. Now, are you the kind of cop that shows up? Show me John T. government. Bring in here. No, no. So I...

Do you, like, show up to yours? Yeah. Because I know some of them are kind of like... Here's what happens is like I'll... So when I wrote tickets, when I was really big into writing tickets, first of all, I would use... I was very big on discretion. You're a... First of all, hold on.

Okay, let's hear discretion. You would arrest on now. Here's a thing. If I'm hired to do a job, I can't not do that job. Fair. So what I did was, was I said, okay. I will set my discretion at a certain speed limit above the speed or a certain miles per hour over the speed limit. 10%?

I'm not going to say it publicly. 10%. 10%. Oh, yeah. Nine. Nine, you're fine. 10, you're mine. Then cut this out.

The benefit of it is that the nicer, well, not necessarily nicer, but the more fair you are with doing your job. So now with doing the number of traffic stops I was doing, now I started to get to know people in the community, the bad neighborhoods, the good neighborhoods, the schools, the businesses. So when I had a domestic or I had a domestic or I had. a call that I actually had to maybe make an arrest on or maybe take further action looking for drugs or anything like that, I now had this network of people where I had these people that I was familiar with. So there was a kid that I grew up, or I didn't grow up with him, but we worked in the lumber company 20 years ago.

We worked together in Southern Maryland and he comes through my radar at 97 miles an hour in a 55. So I wrote him reckless. I was like, look, I'm going to write you reckless. I was like, but you're good to go. I was like your license is good. I write you the ticket. Just make sure you come to court.

And he comes to court, he's like, oh, man, thank you so much for just writing me the ticket, blah, blah, blah. Like, you know, you really looked out for me. Then the judge looks at him and it's like, um, the heftiest fine I've ever seen. I think he ended up getting like five days to serve. He ended up getting, it was just all these, like it was insane. Five, five days? Five days in jail. Yeah.

No shit. Yeah. For a violation. Yeah. Well, because of his driving history. And so, but even after that, he. because he got a delayed report, so he didn't have to go straight to jail,

but he came to me, he's like, look, man, he was like, I know that if you would have written it as reckless, then I would have had to do 30 days. He was like, I'll take five days anytime. So even after getting jail time, he was still cool with me. So you said you wrote it as reckless? I wrote it as reckless.

Okay. But if I wrote it, so no, I wrote it, yeah, I wrote it reckless, but I think I bumped his miles down. Because when you have your radar, so your radar, we were talking radar earlier, when you see someone increasing, in speed, any of the numbers that are displayed, you can verify they were going that speed. So if the highest is 97, but I've got him at 77, then I can still write him reckless at the 77.

And so what that does is that that's like, hey, if you're polite and cooperative, we can, you know, work through this. But through that whole court case, even now, like if I see him today, we're still cool because I use my discretion and he didn't have to do 30 days in jail. So it just, yeah, just another one of those, like for the viewers, it's like one of the, you know, 19 reasons to not be a dick to a cop. Yeah. No matter what, A, human decency, but B, your day's not going to get better. Yeah.

Well, you're not going to have a better experience if you're an asshole. I always try to police officers until they arrest you and then only consult your attorney. I always tell people, you don't have to be nice to me. Like, you can be a dick, but at least be reasonable and say, hey, I was driving this car at this speed. Or I smack my baby mama upside the head. I gotta take what's coming to me. And so those people, even if they were mean, it's like, I don't have to be mean.

Question? Question. Go ahead. This seems like a good time to leave. I'll leave you gentlemen to it. How are you got to go? The slapping your baby mama. I was like, I was like maybe I wouldn't say that to the cop. Tarnel is about to ask if the radar can clock how hard.

It's like the punching machine at the bar. Well, that was my old question. That's not. Jonathan Walton here from Queen of the Con with a brand new podcast series to tell you about. It's called Hardcore Khan. In each episode, we not only tell you a crazy con story, but we expose the specific

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Conc wherever you get your podcasts. Just search Hardcore Khan. Like the baseball speed indicator. Yes. Use code fat. I think I use the code fat at Wegmans and it worked. Probably. Probably. That good? You use code fat at Casey's gas stations. To get your shitty pizza for 10% off. Fat. Oh. You want to...

Guess who reached out and wants me to come to headquarters and... Is it fucking Casey's gas stations? Owner. No. Casey. Is it Menards? Taco Johns. Oh, okay.

If you said Menards, I'd punch you. Come up to headquarters. You can film with the chefs and you can make your own Taco John's brito or some shit. Brito, he calls it. Hit big mommy in the nards. That's what I sung when I was little. Oh, yeah. What?

You don't know. I just. Is it India? He's such a fan of this podcast. The longer it goes on the more buttons he gets undoing on his shirt. Oh! Got him. I check my buttons on purpose.

You mentioned the buttons because you saw me check my buttons. Yeah, buddy. Yeah, well, you're... Well, you're gay. Just calls him the N-word. Oh! Thanks, Nick. I appreciate it.

I'm going to start putting tally marks tattooed on this finger. every time I get somebody. The boobs. There you go. I haven't booked anybody in a while. Geez. Yeah, it's been a long time since you boop somebody. Gosh, man, I told myself once upon a time I'd never get got.

I didn't get got. Well, I did. I never had. And it's because I wore a shirt with buttons. I got my echelon t-shirt in the truck and I was like, I should I put on a t-shirt? I specifically told you, you asked, and I said, no, just sit your ass down because I knew I was going to do that from the beginning.

He's been plotting on my button. this whole time. 100%. He's been ironed those that sweet butt tonne. He's setting it up for hours. He's got buttons.

I'm going to get you back. No, you're not. Yeah, I am. Nick bullies me about this bullshit all the time. Can I, may I see your hat? Yeah. You have me to take off my hat. Yeah.

You can hide your head. The internet's going to see my hairline. No, we can have Chase hard cut. Blur them out. What are you leaning in for? It is. Darno. It is.

It's been under a hat all day long. Con, what? Do you have a small ass head too? For my first, like, four years shooting content, I never shot without a hat on. And I think I was streaming one day, and I took, I switched hats. And they were like,

he's got hair on his head? They thought I was bald the whole time. They think he's bald. Yeah. Good thing. Hey, I cut it yesterday. Yeah, yeah. Oh, the hat?

Sorry. Yeah. We have the same size fucking head. Yeah, same size arms too. on. No, no, no, no, no. Wear the hat like normal. What do you mean normal? The way I have that motherfucker behind the knot. Yeah, wear it like I'm fucking white trash because that's how I'll wear a fucking hat. Like a normal hat. Do I do it? Do I wear it like, oh, hello? Oh, let's go to the

baseball. Oh, I can't wait to see my sons play baseball. King Pikes, watch your voice change. I love how mad he gets about this head being small. No, you wear your hat up here. It didn't look weird the other way. Uh, it. He'll get sunny. and then if it gets sunny, you'd kind of pull it down. It's functional. He's functional.

He's got his bill turned the same way I do too. Sports. How you're supposed to to block the sun? No, the bill. The whole point of the hat, you fucking moron. Hold on, hold on. The brush print is here. Oh, yo, press prints.

The first thing I do when I get a hat, it's the, you fucking. Yeah. And what's this character name? Yeah, you know, hey, hey, what's so twin? This your boy, La Darius, you know what I'm saying? I'm in this thing. Hey, hey, twin, that's my twin right there.

I'm a twin right there, boy, I seen him when I got, when I got to the spot, I seen my boy, I like, that I'm a boy right now. The spot, you know what I'm saying? Hey, now we had the trail house. We had the trial. We're going worldwide. Hey, tell me you, you're a swing. You already know.

You all right know, Ldaarius, L to the double D, L darius. because you broke your bill all right I can only do his bill the same way I do you don't huh what do you don't break your bill I don't break it yeah no you yes you fold it down here's here's the secret so I always get asked about my bill and that's the Ranger Roll well it it kind of is but I when I get out so I get these hats this is from tack fish hunt tack hunt fish you can get a three pack of these on Govnex so I was like hey let me get two of those because I was I was wear a hat and If you're plugging, you're doing a bad job.

I'm not plugging it. I just, it just works. I just randomly, I found a hat that I like and I stick with it. So what I do is when I get it, I dip it in hot water and then I put it into a cup or a mug and it just sits there for like 24 hours. Damn, I'm just putting my hat on like a moron. No, you got to bake it. So I wear mine in the shower. Okay.

To form fit the hat to your head. Yeah, because they're always so baggy when he gets on it. He's got to shrink them. Big Bangbong, me, me Nick, that erictician. You are not, you are not about to have funny voice acting like it's normal to wear your hat in the shower right now. You did say you wear your hat in the shower. No, you take a hot, do it. Naked, hat.

All right, does nobody want to hear my fucking story? I'm sorry. Appreciate it. Let him, let him cook. If we could quiet down, yeah, it sounds like a movie theater right now. Oh, my bad. Oh, my bad. I'm sorry.

So you get... There they go again. There they go again. It's a cultural pattern. It's not a stereotype. It's a pattern. Just get a six-panel trucker hat like that. First thing you do, straight out the box,

is you break the bill as hard as you possibly can. Crack that. Cracket which is the the kids nowadays nowadays it means fucking something apparently oh you put it on You take a hot steamy shower with your head on for the first time It shrinks the fabric down to your head it fits it and if your head is small Well, okay yeah no wait no I was I was getting there sorry Dumb fucking retards will say if you have a tiny head that's what will shrink it down No whatever said that you just said that you're not about to call

me retarded because I don't wear my hat in the shower. You set your hat to the setting. Like whatever it may be. Maybe it's all the nubs, click. Maybe it's the smallest setting possible. Maybe it's a giant fucking retard cavement. Three. Three.

Three. Three. Good Lord. So if you have a giant fucking retard meanderthal head, like this he's checking his. over here. Fuck you, you fuck.

You toss his hat on. You have four, but, okay, you have, okay, you have dreads. That actually looks good as fuck.

I mean, I'm black, but also, the way he wears his hat, you can't dab him up like that. That was cool. Look at you all over there having rhythm and stuff.

I said, fucking caught. No, because he wears his hat differently Because I wear my hat like a fucking redneck Where I sit it up on the back of my head You wear your hat Chris off camera Where's his hat like fucking 16 year old white boys

Where they said it very champlain What are you trying to do? Keep the fucking sun out of your eyes You dips shit? How dare you? Fuck shit He sits in on top of his broccoli hair curls I have no fuck bitch Brandon do you need not

One more time You got this buddy. Brandon, can you... Brandon, do you like... Almost there, buddy. Brandon, where do you store your firearms? All over my house in every fucking crepus. Well, do I have the product for you, Nick Schoom?

Here, hand it to me, Brandon, so I can show you. Brandon, this is stopbox. Stop box. We love box. You're selling me. What's in the box? You have to open it and find out. All right, well, let's see if I can do this.

Oh, wow. Look at that. Oh, it didn't stop. Can I hide my goop in that? You can hide your goop in that, Cody. Cody, do you know why I love this thing? Why? Why? Why?

God! Why? Because you don't have to use keys. Gun, not included. Cody, you've got multiple cats in your house, including Squirt, who's quite the scrapper. Mm-hmm. Would you want Squirt to have access to your firearms? No.

He's violent. Well, then Stopbox is the perfect product for you. No cats getting inside, Dad. Or people without thumbs. Mm-hmm. The nice part is it is actually TSA compliant. I didn't actually know that part until a couple months ago. That is actually really cool.

You put a little lock through there. Exactly. When you check in a pistol or any gun, if there's a hole that a lot can go through on whatever you're checking your gun in, you have to put a lock through that. This has one hole, so you just need one lock easily accessible once you land on the ground. I know you're not normally a one hole kind of guy, but this is definitely an exception to the rule.

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Stopbox USA.coms. Use code unsubscribe. Don't want to hear it. Sets it gently, delicately. You still got the reflective sticker on the bill of his hat. Jeez. And he sets it very delicately. What I do, and I'm not going to do this to next half.

What do you do after the shower? So, well, you break the bill, you take it, you break it as hard as fuck, so it sits like that. And then I wear my hat, like, up on the top of my head. And then if it gets sunny, then you tuck it down a little bit. But the shower, the shower, that's the fibers down. Yeah. And you sit it on top of like a cereal bowl or something. Oh, what? Yeah, so it forms to it.

Okay. Shower, cereal bowl. I'm working with a cup, a coffee mug. And that's it. And hot water. I love that I can just buy a hat and put it on and it fits. Nick says, I'm the weird one with my head size. Or buy a bowl.

Buy a bowl. That's not the set it. I can, like, I click the one. The one setting is what he calls that. I gotta take this dip out. Mine's on three. Yeah, no, he sets it right there. No.

Yeah, maximum setting. And he goes, yeah, I put it on my big fat, giant fucking retard pro-magnon head. And that's normal. He goes, oh, Trout has teeny tiny peepy brain head. Oh, my gosh. I'm sorry, I don't need a fucking cookbook to make my hat fit. That's how to fit a head. The gaslighting is wild.

Did you, wait, did you, you had a beret when you graduated? Okay, so did you do the whole, like, wet it down and you have to shave it? Yeah. Did you ever wear it in the shower? No. So what he's implying? I would soak mine and just form it. Oh, you, but I had that, I had the tiny peepy idiot brain head, according to Nick's logic.

No? Yeah, your hat fits me perfectly. Give me my hat back. Let's start. Let's start there. So according to Nick Logic, you have wee wee wee wee wee wee. I have a small head.

I have a small head. I have small ears. Thank you for just admitting that. Don't say that. I have a small head and I have small ears. Large nose. Large nose. I'm looking at you.

But yeah, so we would, I would wet my beret. Shave it down, wet it. You put it in zip lock bag once it's formed. Whoa, what? Well, we put it in zip because we had to take ours to the field. You had the same way. Yeah, we had to take them to the field

because when you, after you do your field exercise, then you can put your beret on. Wait, what? Well, this was... Wait, when did you join? 2011. Oh, okay, this was a different time. Yeah, different time, okay.

Now, going. But there were guys that would wear theirs in the shower and they were like, why are you wearing this in the shower? Oh, to get hot water on it. You can wet it in the sink and then form it. That way you're not staying there butt naked in the shower with a beret on trying to form a beret. It just, I, had to the shower.

Mine wasn't a beret and there weren't other naked men around me. It's also still a hat in the shower. Not being a beret doesn't make it better. Having to wet a beret at least makes sense. A beret is gayer. I don't care if you killed guys. You're still butt-ass naked around other men. We didn't kill guys in beret.

Yeah. I mean, he's good right. I think green beret, I think a badass. I think naked man in the shower, I think gay. when you boil it down to that what are you doing after this I like I like it I like it

I'm just picture of Connor walking into the shower music playing and the hat on so you don't want to admit that you have a small head what you don't want to admit that you have a small head you just told me I have a small head no I didn't I said you and I have the same size head he has a freakishly giant head

there ain't no way I'm about to watch you gaslight a cop into not admitting he has a small head. If I said he has a small head, what I meant to say is that we have the same normal size head, and he has a freakishly giant gross size head. How dare you wear hats raw? How dare you

wear the hat that he wore? Darn. I'll try that hat on real quick. He has dreads. I don't think this will be the same, but let's why he... I know, but getting camera first, right in the middle. Well, like, Nick's Nicks hat for... He has dreads. It doesn't

Like Jewish. Doesn't work. It's a little Jewish hat. Doesn't work. A little cap on the back. It's a little yamaca. Should I shower with this naked or something? Is that what I should do here?

You got a shade. Yeah. Shower with it naked so it'll fit. That's SOPs. Naked hat showers tonight, boys. Go back. What about the cereal bowl? What do we got to do with the cereal bowl again?

We didn't finish that. We stopped at steps 37 and how to make a hat fit your fucking normal-sized head. That was step two. Same thing as a regular bowl. I'm being antagonized. I'm being antagonized by the blacks and the fed heads. We just want to know, man. We just want the information.

That's true. Con is going to go home and watch America History Aics. We really got them. What's a big-headed movie? It's big. What's it, what's an anti-bighead movie? Mega-em-mon. I hate bulls of them.

Jeez. Wow. You wanted to come on. How did we get here? I don't know, but it's great. Yeah. Shower, butt, ass, naked. Oh, I forgot.

It was still on bud. New skid idea, Connor. It's the, uh, the three bowls of porridge, but they're hats. They're all too big, so he's got to use the bear's shower so they fit. You get the giant retort mongoloid head, Nick's size hat, where there's like two buttons clicking. Yeah, that would be the daddy hat. Wow. Boom, roasted.

You're self-guarded. You can take the, you can take the whole head. You can't, no, you don't have a small head. You have a normal sized head. Nick, put your head on, on Eli. It wasn't too large and it wasn't too small. Don't red riding here. No, not backwards, forward.

he doesn't fit bad there's a little gap he'd be one button tighter let me try that one get you some of that oh my god don't judge me well he wears the hat like I do because I can't put it on me

he's got a normal size head so it's larger than mine dude my that's a turnicut on my brain there you go that'll make you smarter oh fuck now Eli doesn't know how to the cameras. God damn, what you did, Connor. God damn, I'm six foot two. I'm six foot two.

I'm six foot two. I'm the first on my button. I'm gonna set! I'm gonna say it! I'm gonna say it! What setting do you have to put your Burger King crown on? The last latch? Does this come in?

But I wear it the white trash way where I'm like sitting it up on the back of my and I'm like Jeez. We don't have one? No. Oh my God. What the fuck? There's one flooding around.

I'm surprised we don't have one. She's got a surplus in the car. I've talked about this on one of the episodes, but you coming on to the live show you walked out on stage, you were supposed to bring drinks out. and I didn't even think about anything like the nerves going on stage in front of that like any of that I was like hey wait stop and your brain just reset I literally reset I don't know if you saw it or not but I had water in that cup and I spilled it and I was like well I'm already here so then I just like what does every guy do and on stage in front of thousands of people you just yeah and that's literally

all I did and Zach was like wait are you are you going to tell a story you're going to say something And I was like, no. It's like, I'm, my mindset was, it was already a miracle that I was there because with being able to take leave from work and everything else and kind of short notice. And then I left there to go to North Carolina. I knew I was going to North Carolina to shoot some of the black and blue podcast. And so Zach was like, yeah, you just got to talk to them. And I'm like, I'm not going to show up the day of an hour before the show and say, hey,

guys, you should let me get on the mic. Like, I think that's, that was a bit much. So when Zach was like, all right, bring the white claws out on stage. And I was like, okay, I'll do it. And then I got out there. And like the crowd like, yeah, it was, it was, I've never experienced that before. So I kind of hit a little hard reset right there and was like, oh, yeah, I'm here. And then went right backstage.

And Zach was like, you did it. And I was like, I did it. I did it. So that was cool. I'm looking forward to the next round of live shows. We got you. We got you. It was awesome seeing you on stage.

Yeah. the crowd that, especially that crowd was insane. The Florida crowd. If we do live shows again when we're all on a plane together we all have to walk onto the plane wearing Burger King Crows. Act completely normal, but

just wear them. Do you shower beforehand or no? Yeah, do you have to go take a shower with that? Get that friendly woman off the plane! Why is this Burger King Crown soggy? Wait, where did you just spawned

Burger King crowns from you guys oh I just slipped off that's our super power Wopper Deluxe oh my god he doesn't have an offender power oh I don't do you know the offenders I do know the offenders what's your superpower oh we haven't done it's not to me to decide no it is literally your superpower oh oh there's a lot of debate about this because me and Jack apparently like historically have switched rules I think mine was I can teleport

Oh yeah because his became time travel I can teleport but every other time

I become a random sex toy for 24 hours Isn't you can shape shift shape shift Yeah so and then

every other one you shape shift into a sex toy though And you have no control And I have no

idea what it is So I'm I'm comfortable just letting the internet the side mind because you know you are we going to wait for two weeks and then let so do I have to pick the superpower and we in the offset I thought you watch onset though I do but I never thought that I'd be picking a superpower wow oh I didn't

get pulled I am I am invisible to law enforcement that's not really that's a that is a look I day I need that I wish I had that at my arraignment good Lord That's your superfire? You just fuck over fucking Caleb. The cop walks up and you just, whoop. Cop only sees Caleb. Oh, you guys are good. Darnel pulled out stuff.

Everybody wants to fly, right? What is it? Everybody wants to fly. Like, I would love to be able to fly. Something unique. He's got teleport. Or you got shape shift. Someone has teleport.

Cody has flying, right? Yes. With racial slurs. What about like the flash like super speed? Does anybody have that? Eli. Gosh darn it. I can't be fast. I mean, they can. Mind reading.

Does anybody have mind reading? Budge. We can give them super speed. That's black. Yeah, I was going to say that fits. I'm kind of fast. Okay, so you can move into speed of light? Works for me. Okay, so speed of light.

And then the opposite is. Oh my God. The black light. That's a merch idea. Just a black light bulb. Your costume is just black with like a splatter. There's something there. We're on to something, boys.

Okay, so we got the black light. And then his offset is... Go for it, Nick. Please, Nick. Say it, Nick. Let me hear this one. Just say it. You can only run at the speed of light if you're carrying somebody else's bike.

Oh, my God. Excuse me, son. I need to borrow your bike. I'm just going to ride around a block real quick. I just like just pulling up to save somebody and they're like, why do you have a puppy? You have to steal something first. And the cops always know.

GTS. They can't catch me though. They can't catch me though. Oh my gosh. All right. That's a perfect offset. Light speed. Thief.

Got it. Oh my gosh. The black light. What's he stealing this week? But you're saving people. Even trade. Even trade. Yeah.

Do you bring the bike back? No, because once he gets serious, he's going to have to steal something else to go to the other answer that. So he can never return shit. That's a real. It's a one trip. It's a new idol. Every time you activate the power

so you can never bring people their shit back. Oh my gosh. I was going to say the speed of light, but it can never be away or in the direction of way from your family. I love my family. I am a very present father.

I know. yeah I'm gonna run to the store real quick baby I'll be right back dude is so fucked up my dad did that in 1985 just imagine he's been a California resident

ever since I love you dad just showing up to a fucking I do I love my dad armed robbery that was a true story no that's a oh absolutely

he was gone before I was born I'm not gonna go into that though yeah fair enough sorry I'm just Give me your crown. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm good. The black lights here. You dropping off a bike, walk into the next bike.

It's just a trail. Grabbing it and be like, take my hand. Tell her it off. It's like, why is he kept coming back? While these bikes in the front yard. Must be a lot of people here now. Just one guy who runs. That's like a high-speed chase.

He doesn't like grab an ice cream coming from a toddler takes off. I love this. How did you get here? Give me that. Jeez. All right. That's, that'll be fun. Okay, we can work with that. We can work with that. Got some skit ideas bouncing around. You don't have to sell them on Facebook Marketplace, by the way. Hey, I got to flip them. Got to flip them. Money making, money making machine. Steal the bike, flip the bike. It's the modern day Craig's List. It's true. It is the wild.

West. My wife buys so many things on Facebook Marketplace and she'll say, oh, by the way, can you go pick this up? Bro, don't even get me started on my wife. Dude, so I live in a very rural area. When I say rural, I mean, a lot of farms, not a lot of black people. She's got me driving past no trespassing signs. And I'll go up and I'm like, hey, did you talk to these people? Oh, yeah, I messaged them yesterday. Okay. I'm here and Nobody's at the door, and they've got cameras everywhere. And there's a car coming down in the driveway. So you need a message or call somebody right now.

You Twitch stream, right? Yeah. Because you should do that, live stream it, but with a heartbeat monitor. Oh, my gosh. And at the beginning of my wife bought a crib. She's like, oh, I bought, I don't know, seven loaves of sourdough. You just have to go to farmer such and such. And I'm like, bitch, they got H-E-B.

You realize the situation you're putting me in. I have a gun on me right now. And it just, it's, it's always awkward. And sometimes like, if I knock on the door, they'll crack the door like this. What do you want? I'm here from Facebook Marketplace. My wife purchased. Oh, and then they'll say like, come on in.

But it's always like that tension like, it's, yeah, it's very shady. Opposite problem. Yeah. My wife likes selling shit on Facebook. So people just show like to tell her to stop. No, no, no, no, no. She's never had them come to my house because I told her that from the get go. I was like, we're always meeting somewhere else.

and I'm going with you. Horrible mistake. We made $20 to do you? Bro, you have, I was, this was like, this was like when I was still an electrician and doing YouTube. Like I'm making good money as an electrician.

I'm making like decent money doing YouTube. Like, I'm making money. And I like get off work. I got videos to make. I just worked a 10 hour shift being an electrician. She's like, will you take me to Casey's on the north end of town?

Like the shittiest most ghetto gas station in town. Take me to the hood, big dog. I have to meet this person. to sell them a bed set. Okay. I drive her there. I'm sitting in this Casey's gas station. And we're like pulled up to the front of the gas station.

It's like my bumper, four feet a sidewalk, brick wall door to walk into the gas station. Then a 2006 Buickla Sabre pulls up. Bump in a little hoocy. Cragut. Obvious drug dealer walks up. It's winter. Standing. It would have been said that.

In front of the gas station and the bad side of town takes his winter gloves off like the 99 cent cheap ones. Oh my gosh. And sets them down on the little ledge because it's like a, it's like brick halfway up and then it turns to sheet metal and there's like a lip this big. Yeah. Sets his gloves there and stands there for a minute. Seas another dude that's obviously tweaking, walking up.

And they walk up and they talk for a minute. And I see the hand off. And the dude that set his gloves on the. the ledge walks away and leaves his gloves. And I'm sitting in my car four feet away of watching it. So sweetheart, we're watching a drug deal happening right now. And then like the tweaker's looking around on nervous and then grabs the gloves and leaves. And she's like, what was that?

I go, that was a fucking drug deal. Like, geez. And she's like completely oblivious to it. I've now been in front of this gas station for 15 minutes. And the person pulls up and buys a bed set. I get out and hand it to him. And she hands me, I'm not exaggerating a five and two ones. and I was like Hannah

$7 bed set fucking give it to Goodwill I've now wasted an hour of my time Oh that was the For $7. That was the legitimate amount She sold it for Oh my gosh

All of that That It was like You know she listed for $10 And they talked her down And she's like Well I don't just want to give it away for free We paid money for this

I go Hannah my time is worth money Like I It was seven for some shit I already paid $10 for. I'm like $50 in the hole on this $10 bed set. Darnel. Aren't she supposed to be a blue collar person for the people?

Still a waste of time. Got a bit, nigga, got some medicate. My wife will buy stuff so like my kids, they each have their own room. So we've got bunk beds for the youngest one. We've got regular single bed. and then my oldest kid has like a double or I don't know what size it is but my wife still buys beds on Facebook market we've got we've got two we've got two bunk beds in the garage soft furniture yeah I do the same no bed bugs when they're

worn in we it's it's like she likes the wooden they're like these uh IKEA bunk beds she just buys the frame oh okay I thought you're talking about I was like don't don't give you don't buy anything soft on the internet yeah don't put your kids in mattresses I like you use mattresses that's comfortable They're worn in. These aren't New York tunnel mattresses. But what happens is we'll get these bunk beds and they'll just stack up. And she's got like bookshelves, bunk beds.

And so every so often, like when I built my garage gym, I ran out of space. And I'm like, we got all this crap. She doesn't know what's out here. I'm going to start taking this stuff. I'm going to piece mailing it and taking it to the dump and throwing it in the trash. I've thrown away like two bunk beds, two shelves. She has no clue. I hope she doesn't watch this.

But I've thrown away all this stuff. And she's still like, the other day. She's in the room. She's like, do you know where the tape measure is? Do you know what that means? When your wife asks where the tape measure is, she's about to buy shit. Yeah. And I'm like, and I'm like, word of advice when she asks that, don't say, do you know how to read a tape measure?

They get mad. She didn't, but she still got mad of it. I would not do that. My wife is really good at being angry. I don't know if you know this. I'm not my wife as a black woman. Really good at being angry. I thought we had the same wife for a minute. Put that in the intro. So if she does watch this, we fuck him over. But what I did was I took so in our in the mud room like where the washer and dryer is, I took, we have two tape measures. I took them and I put them downstairs in my office. And so she hasn't asked for the longest time. But then the other day she was like, hey, where's the tape measure? And I'm like, oh, I think it's in the car. And then sure enough, she had like this like the sewing measure. And she's got that. And she's measuring a shelf in our bedroom. And I'm like, what are you doing? She's like, yeah, I found one on Facebook market. I'm like, oh my gosh. She's unstoppable.

She's going to find a way. We're going to buy stuff on Facebook. We're going to sell stuff on Facebook. It's just the nature of it. I'm doomed. Facebook Marketplace. Gosh. Gift and a curse.

Gift. It's where I got this shirt. No, I'm just kidding. I did not get this from. Your wife's just going to fast forward to this part. Have I ever told you about the time that I got conned into remodeling the break room at a salon? Wait, what? Bro.

My wife. You were fond told. We have to, you have to come help me remodel the break room. What? It's like 9 o'clock at night in a commercial salon that she works at. Wait, wait. Okay. Her and the girls at work there got together and decided that they wanted their break room to be nicer.

And I said, you should talk to the owner and see if he'd throw a couple grand to have some new flooring put down. This is in a strip mall, I'm assuming? No, standalone building, commercial salon. Okay. And I'm like, so talk to the owner and have them remodel it. No, me and the girls already bought all the stuff. I go, you went and bought shit to remodel the break room with your own money. Mm-hmm.

They measured out the square footage of the floor. They bought lava lamps and pictures of Maryland Monroe. I show up. It's me. It's the women. and then it's me some other dude that has construction experience

that like boyfriend yeah and then two boyfriends that are useless geez and y'all will be friends and this one dude his name was also Nick or just look at each other like

well it's this me and you remodeling this fucking break room I guess bro and they bought like it wasn't laminate it was like squishy foam rollout flooring oh fuck it they bought the team flooring yeah so they bought it

and they're like and I'm I've showed up to customers' houses where, yeah, they bought Timo flooring. Oh, you should have seen the argument. The woman that bought it, this is a flooring I put in my bathroom in my apartment and it looks bomb as fuck. No, it looked like duct tape. The argument she had with me, I was like, we can't just like we got to take the fucking toilet up.

We got to fucking take the trim off the wall. No, you don't. Just cut it. Just cut it and throw it there. I go. you're going to redo the flooring without taking the toilet up. And she was like, that's what I did in my apartment. I go, why are you remodeling your apartment?

First of all, B, I know it doesn't look good. I don't even have to see it. I know it looks like shit. So now me and this guy are ripping the toilet out of a fucking commercial salon. I'm like, one of the women, go to Menards.

They close in 20 minutes. Go buy a wax gasket. Yeah. They're like, I don't know what that is. Just fucking tell the guy you need a wax ring for a toilet. He'll know what it is. And by two. Yeah.

By two. Because the toilet's sitting higher than you think it is. Yeah. It was a fucking nightmare Jeez. So yeah. It's like 9 o'clock at night. No,

we got done like 11. Like never fucking do plumbing after noon. Solid. Solid advice. No, because it always, you always, everything turns into something else.

Yeah, it's like remodeling a fucking car. You're constantly going back to O'Reilly's, which I don't know if that's a national thing. I know Menards is not. O'Reilly's is national. They got to, when the shower broke.

O'Reilly. in the guest bedroom and I was just pissed off so I left and you handled it. You know, I was just like, oh, that's Eli's angry. I still love when you guys call me with electrical problems. It was a phone tree. Well, I was trying to find a breaker on something.

Hey, Nick, where the fuck is a breaker for this thing? Oh, no, you called me on that and I had just smoked a cigarette at Cody's house and seeing that there was the breaker on the outside of the house in Texas, which I had never fucking seen before. Wait, the boxes outside of the house.

They split the breakers, so there will be one, like, in the garage, and then they put, like, 2.10 outside. So there's the breaker for, like, the AC unit, the water heater. Do they do two AC units in Texas? Yes. Okay. Usually, yeah.

I have one. I have different ones for different portions of the house. And then, yeah, so you, and then, I forget, something tripped in one of the house, in our master bathroom. You called it because like your bathroom and bedroom lights weren't working. Yeah. Well, no, this is the one where I was like, there's no, we've reset everything.

Nick's like, it's on one of the probably guest bedrooms, there'll be a reset button. I'm like, why the fuck? This is again, not. That's how our kitchen is. I hit it and then everything started working. I was like, oh, the GFCI. You got it. Yeah. You just pop the GFCI.

But it was in a different bathroom. It was because it's multi-level house and like multi-story houses of bathrooms are usually stacked on top of each other just to make the plumbing and everything easy. And shitty contractors, what they'll do is bathroom outlets have to be GF. Shitty contractors. What he means to say is Mexicans. Ooh, good Lord. Not just shitty contractors. Let's see them all do it. Mexicans.

I don't know. Do my people do it? No, Mexicans. I want to call my dad and be like, do you do this dad? We're like, yeah. And our kitchen is like that. So like where our kitchen is, the kitchen leads right into the dining room. And there's, I guess, it's GFCI in the kitchen as well.

Yep. And so if we have like, you know, I don't know, a heater plugged up in the wintertime or something that the kids are using, it'll go. And we just have to pop that little reset. Well, what I was saying was when you have multi-levels to a house, the bathrooms are stacked on top of each other. And what shitty contractors will do is all the bathrooms have to be GFCI protected. Yeah. Well, a GFCI costs fucking $3 more than a normal outlet. So to save money...

Well, it's like $20 more. It's like $20 for a GFCI. Not anymore. Really? You used to be like 20 for a GFCI and like 90 cents for a regular outlet. Well, whatever. I don't give a shit. They'll...

Instead of having a GFCI in each bathroom, they'll fucking have the GFCI in the bottom bathroom and then feed... Everything off of all the other bathrooms off of one GFCI. So if you trip the one on the third fucking floor, you got to go down to the first floor. floor to reset your fucking bathroom so they work. I remember that one now. First world problems.

I was like, oh, thank you. That work. We got that work. We got it. Thones up. No, the ones are outside for some fucking reason. Best part about being an electrician. Every, every time it drops below 50 degrees, I get to spend the next month of my life going on trouble calls to offices with cubicles.

My computer isn't working. do you have a space heater plugged in to your cubicle? I've got three fucking space heaters plugged into the same outlet my computers plugged into. I wonder what demographic that is. That's white women. Fat white women. Yes. A hundred percent.

They always have like shawls and blankets on them. And thick ankles. No, they don't have ankles. I don't understand the logic. It's just a pant leg, exhaust. I know this is fucking crazy, but like, do you know what temperature is is in that building in the summer? 70. 70.

70. 70. 70. 70. 70. It's the same fucking temperature. Why are you cold? But it's cold outside.

It's winter. Why are you wearing a tank top? Because I'm fucking inside and every building I'm in is 70 degrees. They're always fucking hot during the fucking summer and freezing cold during the fucking winter. And they plug in a thousand fucking these little bullshit. space heaters on their cubicles. They're like this, but you know exactly what I'm talking about.

They're trying to turn themselves into a fucking hot dog like on the rollers. Like it's insane. That's what their ankles look like is the hot dog on the rollers. And then during the summer they plug in, they're like called swamp coolers. The little icebox with the fan on it. Yes. And they plug in like three. It's fucking

fat bitches. Every fucking time. Good Lord, dude. During the summer. No, he's, he's experienced that as well. You go out and you take take those fucking calls and you have to crawl up into the fucking the, you push the ceiling tiles to the side to go up in the fucking breaker box and flip the fucking breaker until this fat fucking to unplug three of her fucking swamp coolers. It's hot in here. They're the most annoying people on the fucking. I was at a job once.

We were knocking a wall out and there was a panel there. I'm the electric. They call me in. I got to fucking unwire everything in this panel, move the fucking panel, redo the piping like six feet to the right. Where they're not knocking this hole. That's fine. Like that's just part of the job.

I rewire the panel, put the new panel back in. I'm like packing my shit up to go. There's now a hole where the panel used to be in this wall. And by the time I got done, they decided they weren't going to knock a fucking hole there anymore. Oh my God. Whatever. I got paid. I don't give a shit.

So the maintenance guy comes out and he's like measuring. drywall to patch this hole. And he's like, why did you leave all these wire clippings on the floor? The least you could have done is swept them up. 100%. So, he goes, puts the fucking patch in, muds it. And

then he goes to paint. He cracks the can of paint. I'm not shitting you within 10 seconds. Some fat bitch gets up and waddles her ass to the corner office. And then they're in there for three minutes.

then the fucking office manager comes out and tells the maintenance guy, you have to come back and paint at night because the fumes are upsetting some of the workers. Oh my gosh. What did I fucking fucking say? Dude, fucking fat bitches in offices. They're all the fucking sane. The most insuffling people on the planet. Oh, I'm getting lightheaded from the fumes. It's fucking paint, you fat. Jesus fucking Christ. You know, it's also the same when you pepper spray somebody in a hospital ER. the fuck it's the same it's like come on you'll be fine it's not that bad a little spice a little flavor in your life that was another email and phone call that I got that was wait what yeah so uh you know I'm not really big on using a taser I've never been I've never relied on a taser um good 100% because you know with clothing and

you know, with just, you know, rain and everything else. It's just they're, they're not, I mean, they're a great tool to have. I'm not going to disparage them, but I've just never been big on it. The drugs or anything like that, really, we've seen the videos of the dudes like throwing them off. Most times it's a bad connection. And, you know, they're, they're not 100% reliable. When they work, they work. But I just never really relied on it.

And so there was this guy. I was on a mental health call. And I was, I got relief. So someone came to send me back to the county because I was in the city at the hospital. And when you get relief, someone comes in. I was like, hey, you're good to go. We'll take over and see this through. So I'm walking out.

Well, there was a voluntary mental patient that had been sitting in the hospital for like 12 hours and got no help. And because he's voluntary and mental health, they had security sitting there. Hospital security, retired guy, not good on his feet, not really built for security. he's sitting outside this guy's room while this guy's getting amped up for sitting here for 12 hours and receiving no help. So the guy kicks the door. They had the sliding doors, but the doors will come off the hinge if somebody hits it. Like emergency mode. Yeah.

So he kicks the door and he's coming out of the room and all I hear is just yelling and he's coming out of the room like this. And it's like it happened in slow motion and I see him draw his fist back and he's sprinting towards the security guard. Security guard was sitting there on his phone and looks up at the last second. And I see it happening and I had my spray on my vest and I take it. take my spray out. I used to shake it, you know, quite a bit. I give it one shake and I just let this guy have it. I just hose him down. And it keeps, so he goes to throw the punch and he couldn't throw it because he closed his eyes and they end up subduing him. And me, in all of my experience, I'm going to get someone else to put handcuffs on him because I'm not babysitting this guy.

So we're in the city. I get a city officer. I say, hey, let's put handcuffs on and they put handcuffs on them. And one of the, I don't know, one of the ER staff comes over was like, why did you use pepper spray in here? And I was like, uh, because there was an assault that was taking place in my presence and I had to take action. Well, now we have to clear the whole ER. I was like, no, you don't. It's, it's fine. It's actually dissipating now. So you don't have to do that. And then next thing I know, a city supervisor. And the city, um, because I worked for the county, but I was in the city, this city, they will prosecute law enforcement. It's one of those cities. And so there was a supervisor that showed up that I,

had actually done SWAT school with and he shows him he's like what happened i was like the guy was going to punch a security guard and i sprayed him and one of your guys detained him and you know and's taking him into custody he's like okay okay um why did you spray him and like you didn't hear what i just said he was in the act of assaulting an elderly citizen and i sprayed him he's like well why didn't you just tase him i was like look okay are you going to charge me are we going to monday morning quarterback this thing he's like well no no no just you know just trying to get your your mindset. And I was like, my mindset was stopping an elderly person from being assaulted. And then sure enough, the charge nurse emails my supervisor, my supervisor emails me,

give me a call my phone, hey, come up to the office. I get called onto the carpet and they're like, why did you do that? Why not? Was that the wrong action to take? Well, you know, you just have to be considerate of people around you, blah, blah, blah. I was like, or I could be considered of the elderly man that was about to be knocked into the afterlife by this large angry mental health patient. And so, yeah, that kind of kind of became a thing. The correct answer, should I use my gun? I was going to say, that was exactly what I was going to say. How would they have felt if you drew your gun and fired on him? Well, I wouldn't have done that. I only shoot people that need shooting. That's always, that's always been my thing. I've never shot anybody that didn't need no

shooting. If they need shooting, shoot him. Well, he could have knocked old man on his ass and split his head on the concrete. But he didn't because I knew what I was doing. You're accurate with that pepper spray. Oh yeah. Yeah. One of the, so one of the things with pepper spray like, pocket sauce. There was a guy that I pepper sprayed once. This guy, um, he got into a fight with his brother and he, uh, he ended up punching a window and he had a, it cut his arterial, under the arm. Break your artery. Break your artery. Bleak out real quick on that bitch. So I get there and I'm at the house, mom is literally having a heart attack from the amount of blood. The dude who cut himself is nowhere to be found.

Wait, wait, mom is having a heart attack because she saw her son. She got, yeah, she got worked up. She saw the blood. She went, they said she started with a panic attack. She ended up having a heart attack. So I call an ambulance for her. Blood shoots out at a, if you're not used to an arterial bleeding, it is different. Dude, it is.

Oh, it is, it's like painting the wall forever. Yeah, forever. Every beat of your heart, you are shooting that across the room. So then I hear screaming up the street. And I'm like, and so the brother, one of the other brothers was there. I said, look after her. If she stops breathing, call us. And so I go outside.

I'm just following the blood trail. And it's this zigzag blood trail. There's bloody footprints. And I'm hearing the screaming. I run down. And the dude's standing like at the end of the block. And he's like, yeah, shoot me. I was like, no, I'm not going to shoot.

He's wearing a herniquet. He's wearing a beater in basketball shorts. And the whole right side is just bright red all the way down. What's bright red mean? Well, oxygen, it means he fin to die. Bright red in bubbles, not a good look. I was like, sir, let me help you. He's like, nah, nah, shoot me.

I was like, I'm not gonna shoot you. And so my partner shows him, he's like, what are we gonna do? And I'm already like taking my spray out. And so I was like, I look at my partner, I was like, and just doused him. And he falls to the ground. We run up, put a tourniquet on. There was blood everywhere.

So I ended up having to go into surgery with this guy because at this point he's in my custody. And so I'm, they asked me like, well, what did you see on scene? I was like, a lot of blood? They were like, was it bright red? I said, yes. Were there bubbles? Yes. How far did he run?

I was like, he probably ran maybe 50 feet. And they were like, and he was still on his feet when you saw him? That's what I'm saying right now. And I was like, yeah. He was on his feet. He got into a fight, cut his arm, ran 50 feet and was still able to oppose law enforcement. And right when we put the tourniquet on him, that was when he passed out. Did he survive?

He survived. Well, actually, it's funny because he survived and he was still in law enforcement custody. I was on midnight shift. So at the end of my shift after surgery, which was really cool sitting and watching the doctor, put him back together. I got relief. Day shift came and relieve me. And they ended up issuing the warrant.

They served the warrant, but they turned him over to hospital custody. The guy stole a cell phone, called his dealer, bought drugs at the jail, and he loped from the hospital. And I was like, you know what? That sounds like a tomorrow problem. That sounds like the kind of thing that... See you again, brother. Yeah.

If, hey, if he's gone, he's going, I'm not going to go looking for him. We're at. We're at on the arm was... Tune in tomorrow. It was really high. It was really high. Oh, it was a high one, too? Yeah.

Like here? Yeah. It was just enough to get the tourniquet to get under his dealt. It's always on the inside. Yeah, it was on... So he punched the window and it was... It almost looked like he went straight through the window and then dropping his arm down. Yeah.

So you have the brachial and the femoral, but both are very large, very fucking large, and you'll bleed out. 50, like, to run that far as wild. Well, I think he was high when it happened. And I don't know if, I, it was a miracle. I mean, it was a miracle of the guy didn't die because I, I sure, I thought he was going to die. From what I saw, I've never seen blood shoot that far outside of, like, guys that have been blown up. And, like, you see, like, some of the, you know, some of the limbs come off and everything else. But this dude, like, it was like a steady.

super soaker stream. It was insane. See, when you have an ID explosion, it's like you have seven seconds to apply your own tourniquet. Like under 10, you want to get your turnicid on twisted type, just taught with IEDs or fast explosions. One of the benefits of losing your limb is your body also acts as a turnicate your muscles tight contract. Yeah, it contracts. And then that pinches those, the arteries, you're just fucking turnicot time. That's fucking insane. To we run that far?

Oh, yeah. It was insane. Because it is very bright, red compared to you in my blood. The first time I really saw, like, that level of bleeding, uh, I may or may not have been, uh, watching an ISR feed.

And there was an explosion that took place. And they're dragging this guy. I, they're dragging this guy. And I'm like, I was like, I was like, are they dragging him through irrigation?

Where is there all this water on the ground? And one of the TLs was like, that's not water. And so, they're dragging him and they're dragging them to another mud hut and at some point it was like it's just a constant it looked like a constant

like a little irrigation stream of water and at some point it stopped and you see the guy that's dragging him look down and he just drops them and takes off running and that's the first time that I had seen that amount of blood come from a person so you're looking at this it's really dark

areas and then you're dragging somebody and you're visually just seeing a very white area with white shooting out and then the white stopped shooting out and you're like huh and then he's like huh let's drop the i are like dropped from my mind for whatever reason but yeah that makes sense yeah good times good but yeah so to see that amount of blood and then like we're we're going into surgery and i didn't realize they do like this declaration because they want to make sure like when they do a surgery they're operating on the right body part um but they go through the list of everything you're doing

And the nurse, the OR nurse was like, you might want to sit down for this. I'm like, lady, I've seen people ripped in half by cars and bombs. Like, this is not that big a deal. I'm like next to the doctor. The doctor's like, so where's from? And he's like, you ever seen this? And I'm looking, I'm watching him. So put stitches inside of the inside of this guy's arm.

And I'm like, over the doctor's shoulder. And he was like, take a look at this. Get a closer look. He's like, you want to take a picture of it? And I was like, no, I don't. but this is great and the nurse was like he's probably going to pass out and I was like he's already he's already asleep and the doc goes she's talking about you dude I was like get her out of here I'm talking about this before like when I when I went in both times yeah both my kids Hannah goes in to give

birth and every time there's this moment where all the nurses and the doctor like look dad are you going to stay in the room for this yes yeah we it's like it's it was the same speech both times. They're like, if you get lightheaded and fall down and pass out, we don't care about you. We're not going to help you. I was like, that's great. That's fine. Help my wife. That's what you're fucking here for. But also like, it's got to be a common thing for them to care that much. Well, but like, fun fact about passing out when my first kid was born, I passed out. Wait, you what? I did. So my, I'm, I'm at work and. That's why you guys don't stick

around. Oh my gosh. Yeah, I need that clip. I need that clip. Is there milk on the floor? I'm out of here. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it.

I got everyone. Good, perfect. So, I don't care. My wife's coworker calls me. I'm in the middle of my shift. And the hospital was like 40 minutes away from the zone that I was working. And so I just get in my car and I just go.

And I'm just like within the speed limit. And I get there. And the second I get out of my car, and go to running the door. I go to the elevator and there's like this old couple and they're like, one is in a wheelchair and one has like one of the walkers that has like the seat on it. And they're like, oh, I don't know how to get on the elevator because they're. Why are you giving birth?

Get the fuck out of the way. I wasn't waiting. So I went to the steps and I ran up four flights and I went to the labor and delivery. Labor and delivery, you can't just walk in. You have to ring the bell and everything else. And so because I'm in uniform, I ring the bell. They let me in. I'm like busting through the door like, where's my wife?

And I'm, and I was just amped up the adrenaline and everything. And so I find I get to the room and she was fine. She was, you know, she was just starting off. But she was only in labor for four hours. Oh, that was actually a quick. It was very quick. All three of our kids were very quick. They'd be 12 to 24 or four hours.

Just so people out there that never experiences. This is round one. Yeah. This is the first one. And so I had taken the emergency childbirth class. And I've been very close to delivering babies a handful of times, but never had to go through with it because medical staff shows up. So I'm literally watching this in real time and it's like, okay, this is cool. It's kind of scary.

I'm a dad now. And then the baby comes out and I see her and I'm like overcome with emotion. I'm amped up. You know, I didn't cry until my last kid because I knew that that was like, that's my last time experiencing this. and so I cut the abelibibibord how do you say? I cut the I cut the cable

and I cut the fiber optic cable I separated my child from the matrix and so hey I cut the cable and shit and so the staff is congratulating us

and they go Mr. Penderhuis would you like to hold your baby and I said and I was standing there I was like yeah and they were like

you started swaying And before I knew it, I was laying on the floor and the nurse comes running in with smelling salt. And she does one wipe of the smelling salt. And I start to wake up. They've got the shears. They're about to cut my uniform off. I had this uniform tailored to my body. And as soon as I see the shears, I smacked her hand.

The shears go flying across the room. And I was like, you will not cut this uniform. And like, I came to and everything else. I just picture the Undertaker. You sit up. I sat up. I am a father now. Well, I called your baby. And so I went and I held the baby.

And so like, after we got home, my wife was like, you know, you assaulted medical staff. I was like, no, I didn't. I was like, they're about to cut my uniform. I just moved the scissors out of this. She was like, no, you smack that woman's hand and it echoed throughout labor and delivery. $15,000. I was like, are they mad? She was like, no, they weren't mad.

they actually had a good laugh because you passed out. And I was like, who else have you told about this? And she was like, everybody. Everybody. Yeah, so, yeah, I passed out on the first one. But, you know, she's alive and healthy now. She's, you know, 16 and you're white? They just, no.

Are you kidding me right now? Hey, hey, cut that. That is enough. I'm sorry. I didn't set you up. Yeah, you did. I like that was the life. He's got a small head and wears hats in the shower.

Fuck on. I'm going to steal your hat. No. Turn your head. I'm going to mock you. Turn your head and show him your little dongle back here. What's the donkey? I could tuck that in.

Yeah, you could. But I don't. And we wear the same size hat. Well, this is a gypsy camp over there? Oh, my gosh. Hey, Big, so on you tuck that in. Speaking of gypsies. Oh.

Okay. Let's go. That sounds so much racist. I know that all the black races. Y'all want to talk about jipses. Hey, give me some long cut. We just have a lot of them in Virginia. Dips in your lip?

Are there, for real? Jipos. Wait, where? I won't say where. Because the internet doesn't need to know where I've been employed. Show, no, show is. She's from Ireland. She's like, oh, fucking Jippos.

And you're like, oh, Jippo's a slur. Is it really? Oh, fucking gypsies. Glad I didn't say it. I don't say slurs on the internet. I don't know what's... I don't care. It's a European slurs.

It doesn't count. Oh, yeah. How do you identify a gypsy? Okay, so... Yeah, I mean, my best castles are trying to fuck a hunchback at Notre Dame. Let's the only thing I know. They're nomads. They're often unhoused, and they move in large groups.

Unhoused. That's the best description I have. And they'll go and they'll set up like a corner, like, they do like farmers markets and stuff like that. But then they also, the ones that I've encountered. They're carnies with no Ferris wheels. Okay. That's what they are. Dude, that is the greatest.

Imagine carneys, but they don't bring in money. Carnies with no rides. And they steal. Do they still have the wagons like I'm thinking in my mind? In Europe, they do. Yeah. They have, yeah, so it's a mixture. They even will have.

station wagons and shit. I've seen them with station wagons with and they have they have like. Caravans. They have trailers. So they'll hook up a trailer to a car or to whatever they're driving and it's the ones that I've experienced and this is my lived experience.

It's always like full of junk. They have like ceiling fans and window AC units. I'm just saying. I'm just saying like it's it's they're white. They fucking got fans and ACs. Yeah. No, these are white. Driving around with a saw horse.

Like, what is, who's is this? Where'd you get this? It just, yeah, there's, there's, it's a pattern. I like this got darned out more than anything right now. They're brown whites. They're Turkish. I don't hate them. Is this camera on me?

I love them. I think, is this camera on me? I hate them. There's documentaries of when they're in. in town or around an area, all the AC hardware stores are like, nope, we close it off. Like we will know when they come and like, no, get the fuck out. They'll buy and resell. So in Virginia, you can buy like four cartons of cigarettes.

They'll go from gas station to gas station in the same jurisdiction. And we'll get a call and like, hey, we think these people are buying cigarettes to sell them individually. And without fail, they'll get these big trash bags, just cartons of cigarettes in these trash bags. And they take them to New York and they resell them. And it just, it's a thing. It's a thing.

That's a big federal crime. Yeah. Oh, yeah. They do not care. No, that is a, that's a huge time federal crime. Yeah. Reselling cigarettes. But that's what they would do.

That's a federal crime. They would buy them and resell them. And it just, I mean, tobacco is regulated. So. Dude, it is. When you watch the documentaries, especially when they're overseas, it's like the gypsy kids were like, I don't know why people don't like us. And it's them pulling up to a spot.

destroying it. Yeah. And then bouncing. Huh? Because you're from a foreign nation and you're littering. Walking your trap, take over your trap.

And then the far, I mean, the farmers over in the UK, you watch when they drive around their tractors and spray them with manure. Yeah, I've seen that. Yeah,

they do not fuck around. Mm-mm. Fuck out of here. Yep. Well, they have so little legal, they have so little legal protection to like,

guard themselves from being invaded by gypsies dude Connor I can tell that last vodka shot did the trick I was like oh that's drunk Connor's voice just hit I just did this he was like he did the yeah

hey he's gonna be looking for a Lego head here in a minute who way they at I know about that I know about the Lego heads we can go to the after show if we want we're going straight to the after show Oh, wait, wait. Where do we find you?

You beautiful son of the bitch. So best way to support the channel. Head order to kingpixmedia.com. Spell it. Click the merch drop down. K-I-N-G-P-I-X-M-E-D-I-A. King Pix Media and King Pix Media TV on YouTube and Instagram, but also King Pix Media on Twitch and Kick.

And generally, like I said, I stream every day. Every day I knock out two hours. I do everything from political discussion to gaming. We've been doing a lot of Call of Duty lately. but I've been really consistent with it trying to build up the stream. So Discord, I don't know how to share. Like, I guess I'll talk to you more about the Discord stuff. I'm still kind of new there.

Still trying to figure it out. We got about 200 members now, but trying to build that out. But yeah, mainly the stream and then Instagram. Dude, it has been an absolute pleasure. We always love when you're around. Always a good time. Finally on an episode, but you have been here as we have shown. I've been to everybody's house.

I've been to this house, but you've been here. before we proved it. You've been to the unsubscribe podcast house before we proved it. Everybody knows it. Just got lost in the sauce. Liar.com.

He'll figure it out. Thank you once again for tuning in to the unsubscribe podcast. I was joined once and always by fucking Eli double-tap. The fat electrician.

Chris, aka Kingpix Media. Don't do that. Don't do that. You got darn now to put his head down. Do not do that. Don't. Sorry, Mom. And also, I'm donut operator.

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