Unzipping Taboos: Candid Conversations about Sex - 2025 Zipped: One Year In, Just Getting Started

Episode Date: December 31, 2025

In this New Year’s Eve episode of Unzipping Taboos, we take a moment to look back on our first full calendar year of podcasting—and everything that’s shifted along the way. Highlighting how Unzipping Taboos has evolved into a show that meets the moment, engages with current events, and stays rooted in real-world experiences.We dig into what our Spotify Wrapped data actually tells us (and what it doesn’t), reflecting on why episodes like The Truth About Body Count, Sex and Aging, and our pelvic floor conversations continue to resonate and get shared. For us, the numbers matter less than what they represent: a growing audience that’s hungry for honest, accessible conversations about sexual health—without shame, sensationalism, or clickbait.We also talk openly about our own journeys into sex education and advocacy—why we do this work, how curiosity and resistance shape the show, and what it’s meant to stay authentic while tackling topics like men’s health, pelvic floor health, sexual trauma recovery, consent, and agency. Along the way, we reflect on how modeling boundaries, communication, and the power of consent has become part of the podcast itself.As we close out the year, we share our gratitude—for our listeners, our guests, our partners (including JackandJillAdult.com), and everyone who’s helped make this first year possible. We also look ahead to what’s coming next: continuing to use this space as one of learning, activism, and connection.Thank you for being part of our first year. We’re just getting started!If you have a story, thoughts and/or a topic or question for Dr. Sue and Charlie please share your ideas here:  ⁠Show suggestions

Hey, everyone. Welcome to Unzipping Taboos, Candid Conversations About Sex with Dr. Sue and Charlie. We're here to explore the questions you've always been curious about but don't always feel comfortable asking out loud. No judgment, no shame, just open, honest conversations. So zip down and let's get candid. Before we do that, though, we have now partnered with jackandjilladult.com, one of the top online adult stores. And because you're here with us, you get 20% off your purchase with code unzipping 20. So you know, go check it out. Maybe maybe a 2026 goal knows. Now that I've got now that we've got the business out of the way today. I'm very excited that I think this will be a fun episode. We're going to talk about our our Spotify wrapped.

Yeah, because we do publish on Spotify. So we do. For those of you who may not know creators, also get a wrap up of their year. So we're going to go through a little bit of that. But before we do, I am here with my illustrious badass co-host, Dr. Sue. Long time badass, as one of our guests coined her. Hey, what's up, Dr. Sue? Hey. Hey, what's up?

What's up? Oh, no. Come on, we already got people being nervous for the 6-7. We don't need to throw the bra in there, too. You think I'm uncomfortable with that. So like, that's not a deterrent. Would you like to tell our listeners a little bit about yourself before we get into wrapping up 2025 of unzipping?

I know. I can't believe it. I feel like we just did like an episode review because we had our 50th back in August. But yeah, me, I'm, yeah, I'm, I'm co-host of this podcast. maybe one day that's that's going to be the thing um right before the podcast there's dr sue that the younger years no um so i there's the clark kent version of dr so i don't know how clark kent it is though um so by day my day job is to do the the professor thing which i love i really do as much as i i knock education sometimes i really do love that job so it's

what you think of for traditional you know i do research um i publish i teach um i speak at conferences and do the publisher thing but excuse me the professor thing um but a few years ago i had this crisis of conscience i've actually told the story in a bit so i'm gonna i'm gonna take my time with this intro yay for the last 10 years um 2025 bonus yeah no there we go um a few years ago actually right right right before COVID happened I had this crisis of conscience because I was teaching at a very large university that had like over 70,000 students and my sex class was only like 190 max which is bigger than I like a class but whatever and I had this moment of like what happens if you're not one of the people who wants the information what happens if you're one

of the people who wants the information you're not in my class you couldn't put it in your schedule you don't have time for electives you just it just wasn't meant to be and then I was going to go to college right and that was just on my campus like if you're thinking there are 70,000 students I'm reaching what 300 max during a year if I could do no 400 max during the year if I can do math like that's not a huge percentage and then what happens if you're at a school that doesn't offer that class or what happens if you chose not to go to college for whatever reason like going into a trade made way more sense and you're probably making way more money than my students were at that time um and so I said I started having this moment of like this information belongs to

everybody and I have the ability to do something about it so I started doing hey Dr. Sue um where I created a website and folks could submit question anonymous questions and then every Sunday at 9 p.m eastern I plaster my answer all over social media and that was eye-opening and scary because I mean some of the things I was getting were not surprising to me but if you've listened to any episode i feel like in every episode i bash our sex out in this country um so given the very poor state of sex out in america like it didn't surprise me some of the questions i was getting but then i was like oh but we can do more like i can do more and then i was having a conversation this is how i like roll into you by the way um

i was having a conversation with someone like you should do a podcast i'm like sure talking to myself I do that enough and and someone said well if there was one person you can do a podcast with who would it be and I was like Charlie without a shadow of a doubt that was it there was one name it wasn't like there was a backup name there was one name and I don't know I think I just reached out to him I was like do you want to podcast like I don't even remember how that conversation happened I think it was a lot of what you just said you're like I just I'm doing these things. It doesn't, I don't feel like I'm reaching enough people. And then I start thinking about the people that can't get into my class, who don't have access to going to an

institution or chose not to go. It was a lot of what you just said. And so you're like, but I don't want to talk to myself. Will you do this with me? I spend a lot of my time talking to myself anyway. I just didn't want to do it on, well, you weren't even on camera at that time. so so anyway that's me and also that's charlie so for those of you who need more of a charlie introduction because who does not need more of a charlie introduction um charlie is our curious co-host who is always ready to explore all these topics that just we as a society tend to not want to talk about whether it's just because it's taboo or we don't know how or we don't think we're allowed. So yeah, that's you. But you should tell us more about you. Yeah, that curiosity was really

born from just wanting to challenge some some tropes that I was that I was being raised with, and not specifically by my parents. I do want to give my parents credit that for many things, they never told me I couldn't because I was a girl. And so that probably contributed to my challenging of some of these notions that if you're a girl or if you present feminine or all of these things um these certain things that you you wouldn't have access to certain careers or or um sports being able to play professional sports um and so it was just really like but why not because I'm human and I I feel like I'm capable of the things so why can't I And then it just, as I grew up, it became, and did some college courses, it became about the awareness of the messaging that we get from the time that we can start to remember or be, or cognitively engage with that information.

um and so now a lot of my curiosity is born out of okay but why do you think that okay but why but really why like peeling back all those layers and um unzipping taboos especially around sex and sexuality and pleasure um not a lot of people are okay or comfortable with women um talking openly and comfortably and confidently about this um so this was a great opportunity for me to continue um how i like to challenge perceptions and notions and i i will continue to use this term i i i i don't know that i've coined it but i've coined it for myself i do consider myself a psychology hobbyist much I'm sure to the chagrin of actual mental health professionals out there who put in the time into their education and the people that they serve you guys are amazing

you all are amazing but there are just some things that really make sense to me in that realm and I just kind of dig into like psychology white papers and stuff like I read journal articles as a hobby because that's what we do for fun right that's a psychology nerd without any formal training but that's okay because that's also a different perspective yeah i think um and i'm not here to diagnose and because i certainly don't have the background or the interest to diagnose you diagnose me but that's that's been happening since before the podcast with consent most of the so this is our this is our new year's eve episode yeah this is um this is also wrapping up our first full year yeah full calendar year of recording and releasing our episodes so how are you feeling

about all of this dr sue let's start there oh oh feelings um i didn't know there were gonna be feelings crap I'll send you a link to the cheat sheet real quick yeah can you send me like the pictures um wait this is exciting I I feel like we did a little bit of a recap when we turned when we hit our 50th episode um which was back in August I'm I'm trying to count in my head is this episode 69 is that how that worked out yep it sure did which you think is hysterical if you think about and again i know we did a little bit of a recap at 50 um one to another one in a hundred but if you think about how much our show has changed in the last year like it's been pretty amazing and that's yeah it's been pretty amazing so i guess i'm excited

i'm amazed i'm excited yes yes how about you please give me help me feel help with feelings no one warned me there would be feelings today um i it's surprising and it's with the the speed of evolution and i think that we hear that a lot in our digital world with creators and the variety of creators but becoming creators um in this digital realm how quickly how quickly we involve we evolved our format how quickly we um we were willing to do some pivots like coming on video and and deciding um like a marker episode for that the decision to invite guests yeah um because I think initially we weren't sure that we wanted to have guests we wanted it to be about the content that you've been trying to get out to more people that you give to your students and um and then

we've had some really, I think all of our guests this year have been incredible, generous with their time, generous with contributing to the episodes that they were a part of. And so very grateful to all of our guests. I'm so bad. I should have had their names pulled up. But remembering names right now, because I have all these thoughts that I'm so excited about. And it's been, I really enjoy how we decide how responsive we want to be to current events. And those are some of the episodes that I'm proudest of, where we allow ourselves to be raw about what's going on. Because I think so many times going to that conditioning, that social conditioning piece, women aren't allowed to be raw about those kinds of things. And certainly not publicly so.

No, because we're supposed to take care of others and we can't do that if we're first trying to sort through things. Right. And so, and the decision. So in January, as the inauguration was looming, we also had a very frank conversation. And I think we went over this in the 50th as well. But really leaning into this platform as our activism and our active resistance. I'm really proud of us. Yeah. Yeah. And then we did great things like the podcast on episode we did to highlight the work of I Need an Abortion. And, you know, I know we talked about how people could get involved and we did do a whole episode on activism. And so when we think about the message we're pushing, I think that's, yeah, I think we've done some incredible things. it's funny because I was making a list as you were doing the intro um about the things that I know that have changed and one was the video and that was a big deal for us um the guests as well I mean we've had some incredible guests and we have some more planned for next year um and then the constant check-ins that you and I do and I think there was one episode

where I stopped in the middle I called time out in the middle of the episode to check on you because of what we were doing. And so to really kind of make sure that we're modeling the things that we're asking people to do. To me, I mean, that's just really consistent with how I like to do things. So that's been the big thing for me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The other thing for me is that because we um we get we have more frequent time together than if we were just keeping in touch to try and keep in touch um are the things going back to that modeling that you were just talking about the things that i that i learned kind of implicitly from you through the modeling and and knowing you but um and having an awareness of how that is um how that is coming into my

everyday life and interactions and things like that so so what you're doing is not only working for our listeners it's working for your co-hosts too yay i was just talking to someone today about how proud i am of like my my circle of friends that off like they will ask for things and steal my sentence my line which is that no is a complete sentence and and I often say you know I throw it out there a lot like no is a complete sentence and they say that before the big ask and I was just reflecting hours ago actually in a conversation with someone how someone sent me a text and it started with no is a complete sentence but I'm like yeah yeah I think one of just an example of that is the big moment where I was in um in a grocery store line and there was a

young mother with a, with a, with a child, with a young, not toddler, like between infant, maybe infant, and has benefits that she's trying to piece together to get all the items in her cart and giving it a minute, giving her space to negotiate the things that she was trying to manage. And then as I'm seeing her pull things off to not buy, you know, just checking in with her quietly and saying would you mind if i bought these for you you mean instead of just being a savior and coming in and swooping in without consent right like instead of just letting her walk out the door by them and then find her and chase her in the parking lot and making it awkward yeah like why is this woman chasing me um and that just that felt really impactful because

it gave her i feel like it gave her agency and and if she would have said no thank you that would have been fine too because you just never know like how people can carry um the way that we're conditioned for favors like that the burden of trying to show appreciation and deference and and reciprocation and and it truly was you need you need those bottles of water. You need that cereal. Would you mind? And so, and that certainly came from our friendship and just the evolution of the episodes that we've done. We're getting really close to a feeling right now. So I feel like we should change the subject. So you want to pivot. Cool. Cool. Got it. Got it. So the other thing that we picked up was the, um, partnering with a jackandjelladult.com.

That's been really exciting this year. Yeah. That was a big thing for us that we picked up. And, hopefully at some point we'll have some of the folks from there actually come on and talk about what they do and doing things like that. That was a big thing. Getting the theme music wasn't a big thing because it happened actually, and I think our first 15 episodes, but I feel like I want to throw it out

there anyway because who else has done music? Right? Who else hasn't? Ali O'Brien. Right. So those are big moments, but for me it's been, I think one of the big things has been the the stuff we're getting from people so a lot of the people who listen to the show are people

we know or at least people I know and that's if you've listened to a show where I cut my intro like really super short I will very often and very quickly get crap from my friends being like your intro has to be a legit intro you earn these credentials like don't don't be shy about them. So a lot of feedback in the negative, no, not negative. But a lot of times we're getting ideas from friends of ours, things people are going through, things that are coming up in my spaces, whether they're my classes or my speaking opportunities. But then we've also had more engagement with folks through the website. So on my website, there's a page specifically for the podcast where folks want to submit show ideas, or even if it's not a full idea, like even if it's

just like i was thinking about this we've had way more engagement this year um from folks we don't know i love those of you i do know who give me engagement thank you i'm not saying you keep it up we matter yeah um but it's from the people i don't know who or you don't or we don't know i mean it's anonymous so if you're thinking about doing it's totally anonymous um but we've gotten some great show ideas and we followed through on a few of those that i don't know if we would have gone down those rabbit holes naturally but once we did I was really glad we did yeah yeah yeah there's always this moment when we when we wrap recording and we're like yeah yeah okay and there's some let's go to post there's some moments we're like no yeah we can't do that

that's for the 150th maybe 200th episode the bloopers that we um that we did but yeah a lot of times we've taken on topics. And I think you've mentioned this before about current events. We also don't want to be clickbaity. I have a really big problem with that. People are searching for information. They deserve what they think they're clicking on. And I've tried working with a couple of PR folks for the Hey Dr. Sue stuff because everything I do is free. So I record it on YouTube. You can find the article. I never put it behind a paywall. So yes, it's on Medium. But if you find the link to it on my social media, it's always the friends link. I don't put my stuff on. It defeats the purpose for me to put it behind a paywall. Of access to the information.

But also that means I can't get paid, which is just okay. I mean, that's not why I'm doing it. At some point, it would be nice to be able to provide the information and also make a living from this. Every PR person I said says, I have to change what I'm doing because if you've ever read a Hey, Dr. Sue, I tried to give a very short or specific answer to the question when I can in the first three sentences. So just to reference when I did, I think last week or two weeks ago, it was on pre-cum and pregnancy. And I answered that question straight out because if you came in contact with pre-cum and you are terrified of pregnancy, you should not have to read a hundred, you know, a hundred words before you get to the answer. Or wait 15 minutes. Right.

like all the way not to yeah go ahead well no it just makes me think of like recipe like food blogs where you get the whole story and yeah and then just tangentially I saw something on Instagram years ago that was like true true crime idea it's like a food blog that is a full confession because nobody ever reads the blog part they just get to the recipe great idea it It's hilarious. But anyway, yeah, to your point, the accessibility to the information and especially around sex, which we've also said this in a couple of episodes, by the time you're searching for whatever episode comes up for you, chances are you might be in a little bit of panic

mode. Yeah, depending on what it is. You'll see the information and the answer quickly. Yeah. And how anxious you need to be. And the first thing every PR person I've worked with or tried to work with, you know, do their consultations is like well you have to change your writing you have to put it behind a paywall I'm like okay those are too hard no's for me um and so when you and I first started working on

this and we were trying to come up with ideas you we were very cognizant of not being clickbaity it doesn't mean we're not talking about topics that are current and in the there's a word I'm looking for and I can't find it the the minds not the mind's eye uh in like the popular kind of I don't want to say zeitgeist but okay that's the only word I'm thinking okay maybe that's where I wanted to go I mean we did and this is actually can I do our overall episode our biggest episode of the year can we do that announcement yes do we need like drums or fireworks if you want you get to do that in post well then that's not happening um because I'm still the one doing our editing so let me I I know that I know the topic let me let me get my phone open here

technology. Oh, I thought you had it teed up. I did. I wanted to turn the thing on. We've been talking for a while. So it was the one on the mating crisis. So the title, I knew what the topic was. The topic was mating crisis. And the title was the mating crisis unpacked singleton social pressures and shifting dynamics. And that was played 131% more than our average episode. And that was definitely something that was going on. So it's not that we're shying away from topics that are happening but we're we're making our conscious effort to not be clickbaity and i think i think that's admirable in a world like ours right now where the clickbaits the way you get the things the promotions the backers the the notoriety so yeah yeah i'm putting that away now

that was the fun that was also kind of the it'll be interesting to see our wrapped this time next year because we launched at the end of last year yeah and so our percentage increases was like 10 000 you're you were played 535 percent more than last year yeah that would be nice yeah yeah i'm sure our reps uh in the coming year might be a little bit more humbling but i'm here for it too because it's it's that balance of of the academic information and the um the practical conversations and awkwardness and all of those things around a lot of these topics which is why it's unzipping taboos um in our everyday culture because you can be academic about it in a classroom setting or, or whatever, but, but making it accessible and conversational. And I think

the thing that we have done really well at is, um, is not, is not feeling shameful. I mean, you're, you're, you're, you're a long time badass in this. And so, um, but also modeling, not even people who are comfortable talking about these things can trip up or not find the right words or kind of raise an eyebrow not out of judgment but just out of huh i didn't i didn't think that was it yeah um but also showing like showing a a safe uh a safe space to have these conversations and be awkward and trip up and, and just explore whatever paths of those conversations wind up being. Yeah. And I think that's one of the hardest things. I mean, I know my answer is always communication, like whatever the question, I feel like communication is my answer. But the

thing, and I know we've talked about this before, the thing is that we don't actually learn how to do that. And so I think it's really important to model the tripping and the getting it wrong. I get it wrong all the time well not all the time I think I'm more right than wrong like I've had experiences on here where I say things I'm like oh that's not that wasn't how that was supposed to come out

and that's going to happen in the real world when you try to have some of these conversations and so I think it's good that we're doing that and not editing out and we're not editing it out because we are candid conversations and not just because I don't know how to edit it because you do I have a little more editing skill

than I do at the beginning of the year so do we want i kind of want to revisit the mating crisis in another episode i don't think i want to i kind of want to talk about it here but i think we i kind of want to revisit the fallout for lack of a better word from like where we've progressed from looking at as a mating crisis to calling it what it really is um yeah i feel like that's its own episode yeah who should one of us show right i'll write that down we can both write it down i have i have the book open um one of the things that has been pleasantly surprising to me is watching our top 10 episode leaderboard evolve um especially the second half of the year because

i feel like that's when it really started to pick up so we launched last september september 2024 yes yeah yeah yes last year september um and one of our first episodes was the truth about body count and for for the first what nine months of our episode that was our top played episode and continue to grow and then uh about what end of july beginning of august i want to say it got knocked off the number one spot with our sex and aging episode and now they trade off they always have a one episode difference one episode delta and they trade off depending on what on i mean obviously depending on who's listening um so that's also been interesting because i think we just kind of resigned ourselves to body count's gonna always be and that's my fault because I

hate the word so of course that was always going to be the topic of the show because I hate the word I hate the phrase I don't know if it's a word or a phrase yeah no it's been fascinating and I you know when you think about the things we don't talk about we don't talk about body count and what it actually means we talk about what you know maybe some people are asking about body count and I know that they are, I, this conversation comes up with teenagers and early 20 somethings that I work with. Um, then the other thing we absolutely do not talk about is sex and aging. And so it, it surprises me, but it doesn't surprise me. It happily amuses me maybe. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's, um, it is fun to watch our, our leaderboard as I'll continue to

call it. So we get to see who are, what episodes are our top 10 episodes. And, um, so trading off most of the time is body count and sex and aging. But then there's also a number three is breaking the ice. Why is it so hard to talk about sex? Which is exactly why we wanted this to start chipping away at that facade of the difficulty or that that conditioning that you shouldn't talk about it you shouldn't be asking the questions if you're a man you should just know and if you're a woman you don't need to worry about it kind of those tradition those I don't want to say traditional um but those long-held long-standing yeah expectations yeah um and then and then also sex myths let's talk about sex myths that's number four and the one that i really love

wait what was sex myths it's number four what was it wait what was it about is it the title is is it true? Let's talk about sex myths. Myths. I'm hearing sex myths. It's because it's Christmas time. I'm hearing sex myths. There's Christmas ideas for next year, everyone. Sex myths. On episode next year. What should you do for sex myths? I was having this moment of like, did I record an episode about sex and Christmas? No, it's that slight semblance I have in my speaking. So myths. thank you you're welcome uh but the one that i'm really excited about that since it has aired has been consistently in the in the top 10 uh right now it's number five and it is pelvic floor

101 yes we're dr kara yes leaks to libido fantastic guest yes um very i mean it i think we we did two episodes with her we did because our first episode was so great but so foundational and um and it's really encouraging to see that people want to engage with that kind of information because you think in that episode one of the things that she pointed out is that a lot of times when people think pelvic floor they think pregnant woman yep but we all have a pelvic floor yep and now i think that that was one of the best things i really enjoyed her talking about specifically and also because i do specialize a little bit in men's health was her talking about her male clients and how they are so often ignored when we talk about that but then also if you're a

woman and you're aging regardless if you've had children or not you may be struggling with some of these or if you've had trauma and regardless if you've had children or not so yeah she she opened the door to a lot of conversations i know that was one of the ones where i was oh that's something i want to talk about um that was one of the ones that i and that's how my brain works um that was one of the conversations i was getting a lot of follow-up in the outside world of hey do you know anyone local do you know a pt dr care is based in texas and i am no longer based in texas um and so there was a lot of like can you help me find someone and actually that'd be a really interesting episode how do you find a good one um because i actually went on a journey helping

some folks who are really close to me try to you know navigate the websites to figure out is this person actually certified do they know what they're talking about do they feel trustworthy like all those things yeah maybe we need to follow up with it we haven't gone on in a bit yeah um well and the the fun the the interesting thing to me too is pelvic floor 101 is uh number five and the second episode the silent muscle group how pelvic health shapes sex is number 10 Wow. Both of the episodes with Dr. Kara are have been holding steady in our top 10. That's amazing. Which I love because everybody deserves to understand more about how they function and how how it can impact their pleasure and their drive and their engagement with their body and their and their sexual partners and all of those things. So that's really good. The other thing that I really liked was the response that we seemed to get with the Beyond the Man Box episode.

And that's also something I'm really proud of because we we do do a lot of episodes from our perspective. Right. And Dr. Sue does a really good job of neutralizing kind of the, not neutralizing the content, but like making it not so, like taking everybody into account. You are very inclusive in your content, which is also something that's super inspiring to be witness to you modeling. um but I'm proud that we also look at men's health and I don't know that that is something that people would have expected from us and from this platform and that we and that the the title is why men's health isn't a punchline because it's not yep and so that was really encouraging to see just kind of the reactions to the men's health episode yeah we um that's

definitely an area i'm passionate about and it's one of those things that i often speak about sex and sex things sex things really i'm a phd and i just said sex things um it's late it's new year's leave me alone um i the men's health thing is a really important thing for me i have taught classes on that um i co-edited a book on it like that is something that i think we need to talk more about and the the message well go listen to the episode no go listen the episode stop us now go listen one of the one of the things that i always talk about when i talk about men's health is it is usually i get pushback and it's like why why are you trying to take the focus off women and i'm like i'm trying to make it better for everybody if if men are in relationships with women and we

help men better understand their themselves and their relationships and how to communicate that's going to make it better for their partners whether their partners are same gender other gender like this helps everybody and so yeah I was I was excited to do that one yeah just because it's it's yeah I mean I'm excited to do almost all of them there's a few that the topics make me angry that we have to talk about them that was a big sigh that was a big sigh but what came to mind with that side it's the sex because it all comes back to that for me at all i mean i joke that i would love to be out of a job because everyone knows so much about sex and everyone knows how to reach pleasure

and for themselves and everyone knows how to communicate and everyone's doing what's best for them in their given situation like i would love it that would be fantastic that's never going to happen yeah and it drives me nuts that we have so many people who are struggling to be their whole person including the sexual health side of it i think everyone deserves to have happy healthy sex lives if that's what they want some people have zero interest great um i think everyone deserves to have a happy healthy sex life and the fact that we deny basic education and yeah yeah it's so the the other it's not in the top 10 is it the sex ed one isn't it's not but what i am seeing the themes that i'm seeing from the top 10 are based around language

based around bodies and based around kind of comfort yeah and i find that very fascinating all the things we don't talk about right right because number nine is let's talk about it the power of communication yeah yeah I it's it's funny because I'm finding more and more that the work I'm doing here and on hey Dr. Sue and um in my teaching are bleeding into each other like there was an episode there was a hey Dr. Sue where I actually solicited my class to help me because I was talking about how should college students speak and I'm like I ain't no college student I haven't been a very long time close to that age group um so i'm seeing more bleed over and it'll be like i'll talk about something in class and be like oh i did a podcast episode on that

maybe i should share that and so when i was talking to well i do this in all of my classes you know we do the sti stuff like here's this and here's what causes them and you can't tell from looking at someone's penis if they have it like we need to evolve we need all of that and And then I'm like, don't go over this. And they're like, no, you don't. But okay, whatever. And then I started doing this probably about two, three years ago. I was like, all right, here's what I want you to do.

I want you to come up with like, well, I started with five because I didn't realize how hard this was going to be. I was like, I want three opening lines to how you would start the conversation. If it's so easy and you know all this. And they're just like, well, we don't know that. And I'm like, having the information and not being able to apply it, it's only half the battle. Like, you're never getting to the end of that piece. So, yeah, the first time I did the exercise, I'm like, all right, come up five. And they're like, no, no, no, please.

So, now it's three. And they struggle with this. and so if you know the information about stis and can't talk to your partner like what good is it they have the information if you know what makes you feel good sexually but you don't know how to convey that to your partner what good is that you know like good for you you can still get off you know if you know what your fantasies are but you don't know how to bring that up with your partner like we're missing that piece and there was there was a while i haven't done in a bit but there was a while where the last question on the last exam was what's dr milstein's answer to

everything that was the question everyone got right because they were just right communication but yeah that's that it's such an important thing and and i i wonder how many people would love to listen to this podcast but can't right you know what am i going to do listen in the car with my kids like when am i going to have a moment to listen to this kind of content right maybe we need to think about how we would address that yeah cool hold on keep talking and write things down it's just been an incredible journey and then the fee again the feedback that we wind up getting after certain episodes is always something that that is so encouraging to me. And it is also, um, a few of my friends do listen regularly to this podcast and to get

feedback from them of, I really love how you two talk about things and how, um, Charlie, you can, you try to, or you contextualize it in a way, um, which is easy to do because you do make the information very digestible. So I feel like I'm just, I am, I'm not going to say just, I feel like i'm a supplement and a good supplement to the con to the subject matter expert and that i'm not minimizing myself i just think it is what makes the conversation so effective and you know entertaining hopefully especially our rapport and our friendship i think that helps to kind of continue uh the unzipping yeah though i do sometimes miss the anonymity of uh when they couldn't see us the rude ass hand gestures

to throw back and forth when we're just on audio i do a little bit miss some of that some of that uh intimacy that moment of yeah the just us of you're flipping you off while we're still having a conversation um yeah yeah now the awareness of the lewd gestures to each other like and now it's an air quote yeah now it's just done in post i i i've had i had the one that i had probably the biggest um reaching out for me was from when we had annette on from talk sex with annette yes um we were talking about sexual healing and not just like just reliving trauma for the sake of trauma but really talking about how do you rediscover pleasure after and i i remember talking i think i talked about it on here actually

that i had someone reach out that i hadn't heard from in years um that number multiplied by a few where i was having people reach out that you know not that we weren't talking anymore just life changes and just reconnecting and it was like this random reconnect and then be like hey i listened to that episode and i was like amazing and how can i support you now um so i think for me that one probably had the most personal um connection with folks just because i was i was watching people take what they had learned and be like i'm ready to move forward and that's that was a that was an incredible journey for me to watch yeah yeah that was it was hard because for some of them i didn't know about the trauma to begin with and so it was not

only like hey i learned something from you and i'm moving forward was like hey this big trauma happened to me and i'm like oh okay and i want to listen and i want to support you but i didn't know and that just came out of nowhere so yeah for me I think of of the guests that we've had I don't even want to say she was my favorite she hit home for me in a way that and my friends in a way that I don't if that's the only thing we did this year like that would be an amazing moment for us but we did so much more we did the other thing that I really enjoyed was our rural roots episode that aired recently and the way that that came about which we talked a little bit about in the episode but we were talking about you know we need a few more episodes on queer sex ed queer experience

but we need people who live that experience and have that expertise to be our guests for the those episodes because while we are allies we don't necessarily have the that that lived experience so it would be disingenuous to speak to it without um someone coming in willing to share their story and probably within the same day yeah and the same message from yeah and that was a that was a private conversation it was not part of a podcast episode it was literally post production when we're talking about what's coming up next and looking at our parking lot and i think i i think we ended the call and then i got the message in my i got the message and it was like hey um would you ever let a fan on who's like just want to talk about their lived experience

and i was like fuck yeah um so yeah that up that was a great episode too yeah we've done some good work yeah and we're gonna continue to do so yeah so we've talked a bit a little bit about 2025 Have you given Have you Putting you on the spot What are your hopes for 2026 for us Well I already know we have one episode coming out

That I'm super excited about With Dr. Karen Rain from Unhush To talk about inclusive sex ed Because that's like all my things Like sex ed and making it inclusive And accessible all together That will be coming out really early in the beginning of the year So

i i am excited so we are once again doing the podcast on which is um in march please help me with that thank you um where we participate this is something that happens around the world um where podcasts will focus on one non-profit and highlight their work and then we all try to tag each other all over the place i have some ideas for who i want to focus on this year and so i'm looking forward to that episode because it's another opportunity to highlight the work that other people are doing in the field who may be in a different area or a different sector or that was

redundant. So I'm looking forward to that podcast fund, but we do actually have to feature for that. And our 100th is going to be coming up soon. It'll be in 2026. Yeah, I can't math.

So those are my big things. I just want to keep, I just really hope we keep getting the engagement from folks and that we can keep meeting the needs that people have and i think that's the thing i get out of it because you showed me how to play with the analytics and spotify like five seconds before we did this so i'm like looking at all of it and and the thing that strikes me about this and i think this is a different so my slight tangent because you don't have to hurt me in a while can

i slight tangent so the first podcast i ever listened to was the one about the guy who's accused of killing the girl outside baltimore okay do you know the one i'm talking about uh no the big murder podcast that like made oh okay i can't remember it okay serial serial serial okay yeah okay i feel like that's what it was called but it was like this you know like you get done with the episode and it's like oh i need to know what happens next and then you listen to the next episode and oh i need to you know and then i got through that and i was like oh this was fantastic like i felt like it was like an audiobook that i could easily pause or like left me cliffhanging and people gave me more true crime podcasts and when we

started doing ours I know I had this moment of like where's like there's no thread other than you and I being our authentic selves and sometimes being ridiculous I don't know what you mean like other than you and I being our authentic selves a lot of it at the beginning especially the beginning was driven by things that were guiding me and that were important like it was really and I thank you so much for letting me have that platform of like these are things I always wanted to say that sex ed was guaranteed to me when Charlie signed on that I could do a sex ed episode and then I was like but then what and then we started we've said everything we've done everything shut up um how are we gonna get a full episode then we and then we we started

responding to what was happening in the world around us and then there were times you were like I want to do this episode and I'm like yes let's do it and I realized that that was when I started realizing the podcast didn't have to be something where someone sat down and listed from episode one to episode 69 because that's where we are and that's where that's where I realized the power of this because when I was looking at the analytics and like we'd see something on it just flew right out of my brain there was an episode that I saw like popping up in random spaces and it was like that's what that person needed at that time and so they are searching for keywords they're looking for something and to be able to fill the need for a conversation

or education or ideas of how to do this for someone that they could just pop in listen to one episode um it's killing me i didn't of course i didn't write it down um but that they could come in and listen to that one episode and be like, oh, that was the information I needed. Would I love people to listen from episode one to we're done? Sure. If people are getting what they need from it, that to me was something I didn't realize podcasts can do because I was listening to those serial kind of things. And so looking at those analytics and being like, oh, someone was looking for information on that. Okay, cool. We helped them. We gave them what they needed or pointed them in the right direction and that that was super powerful for me I think that's also what

the power in our collaboration and our different styles and because when I listen to podcasts I very much listen to ones where I can just drop in I don't need the whole story you know I I'm listening to different different like news information ones where they're telling a story about a certain news topic um from like public radio international stuff like that and so that was also i think i think that's been the power in how we've evolved is bringing how we individually consume podcasts to and perhaps like you getting the justification that that's how i interact with podcasts i listen to podcasts where an episode is a standalone you don't need the through line And so I think that helped you feel more confident that we didn't need that through line, that we can be responsive, that this can be kind of that serial format.

Yeah. And that's, I mean, that's hard for me because so much of what I do now, I'm realizing maybe this isn't true. Hold on. I'm thinking this through out loud. Okay. We're going to see where this goes. What I want to say is that so much of the work I do from the professor angle is built in this idea of today I'm doing this because tomorrow I'm going to build on this and I'm going to scaffold. It's a lot of scaffolding. Like that's the education term that we're not using. But it's a scaffolding idea of like, before I can get you to point R, I have to get you all the way up there so you have the knowledge and the and the way to interpret it in your own in your own kind of realm and um so so much of what i do is that scaffolding that i feel like i felt

like i was missing it like how do i how do i talk to you about communication i haven't first talked to you about all the barriers that you face in communication and before i do that i should talk about like sex in the western world for the last hundred years and before i do that so so for me that was really a vulnerable idea of like, I can't give everything every, I can't give everyone everything I want to in this one session. And then when I started talking it through, I do enough solo events though. Like I was doing, well, I was doing a lot more live events before COVID and I moved all over the country. But I would go and do one hour and then leave. So I was kind of like, well, I was already doing that, but that was always a very specific targeted hour that I was

being asked to do. So I feel like maybe I was more okay with it because it was what they wanted. I don't know. Like I'm trying to process that in my brain. Yeah. You were able to target it more than this kind of, I'm going to put this out there and I hope it's useful to somebody. I think that's the thing that you've been really, that you've adapted to. Yeah. It's been a struggle. Yeah. Because when you do those talks and when you're in classrooms, you get immediate feedback of some sort yeah engagement etc and this is we're doing this because we're passionate it's our activism it's our resistance it's our desire to be collaborative together um and and get information out there in an accessible way and that doesn't leave a lot of room for immediate

no feedback yeah which is which is not what your career has been built on it's a new kind of sensation yeah and i see you do diagnose um i was even thinking about it like some of the i was doing a lot of work when i was living in the washington dc area with folks who were 55 and older and inevitably what would happen is i would do a thing and then i'd be there for another hour as like people came in like can i talk to you for a minute like and sometimes they had their partners and like we would do this we said this and you know can you help or we need more information. And so even, even then, even though I was coming in for one hour, never one hour, um, like I was still able to do that. Okay. This is what resonated with you. Let

me give you more information. And yeah, I don't like, I have you and you're a great person to react to, but it's not, yeah, I think that's, that's been my biggest struggle. So thank you for guiding me through that. You're welcome. I hate growing. I love growing. Yeah. Yeah. I'm excited for for what 2026 is going to look like and how we will be able to take um some of the topics that we've done and get even more more microscopic with it because i think that's also what we've done is we've stayed kind of broad in some of them and in some of them we've recognized oh no we're getting super specific on this topic there's going to be a part two yeah um i'm excited just as we were talking about earlier in this episode um the mating crisis and doing a follow-up

episode on that and getting more more microscopic really and getting digging into it um unzipping it even more so so 2026 is going to be interesting not just for where we are in the world and in society before how unzipping taboos is going to continue how long this zipper is it's a very long zipper can i can i jump in because i remembered the episode i was thinking of yes so it was the cheating episode the why people cheat ah yeah yeah and i could see where people like I just found out I was cheated on or why do I feel like right or this happened to a friend of mine and so seeing that like randomly pop up in the analytics is like okay like someone's looking

for that information and maybe we help them yeah yeah I will say the incur the fun thing is that none of our published episodes have zero place it was I know oh so with that do you have any any other thoughts as we begin to wrap up our 2025 on this new year's eve i just want to i mean i know we're going to do an official like here are the folks who like are on our show and stuff but i do want to do a thank you to everyone i know and that you know who personally reached out with you to you with ideas and feedback um and the anonymous the anonymous suggestions we were getting like we appreciate that you took the the time to send those in and we want to keep doing that but also all of you who listen and we have no idea who you are and you're doing what you need

to do to interact with the show like just thank you thank you for the time that you're giving us um and thank you to you charlie the show is literally not i know seeing i can blindside you too but you do cover with it um the show doesn't exist without you like honestly i i remember that conversation where someone's like you should do a podcast and you're my thought and i don't think you and i had spoken in like a couple weeks and i was just like that's it yeah it's happening she she has no i mean she has a choice but this is happening um this show doesn't the show doesn't exist without you so thank you oh thanks thanks for trusting me with with this very um cool departure from what you normally do to get the information out there

Cause that, that was a really vulnerable, um, vulnerable journey to include somebody on. And I'm very honored that you felt comfortable to do that with me. Yay. So with that, as we're doing this, uh, we do want to give a very huge thank you, show our gratitude to those that, um, that, that were willing to be vulnerable with us and share their expertise on on our podcast this year um i'll start with uh annette from talk sex with annette she did two episodes with us was very very engaging um and very honest and that that

was an incredible discussion and as you shared impactful with several people that that you know and she's still doing the work so like if you haven't checked out her site and her podcast and if you feel comfortable her only fans like you should go check all that stuff out yeah she's doing a lot of great advocacy in that in that space um and you know pleasure and healing from from trauma um next is becca from the founder of i need a need an abortion i need an a.com for our podcast on that was um an incredible conversation that you two had i unfortunately wasn't able to oh that's right be a part of that um but you guys had an incredible conversation and she uh just her story for founding that such a critical resource especially right now

yeah and many people can i jump i keep consent may i jump in um it's for those of you who didn't listen to that episode go listen to that episode um she ruined it for us though because the whole idea is that we were raising the visibility of the organization so that people would donate money at the end. She's like, don't give us money. Give money to your local abortion funds. And I think she would still say that if she was sitting here with us today, because her thing was that as a website, she could get access to tech funds that local abortion funds can't. So check out your local abortion funds. And if you don't know how to find them, just send a note and say, this is where I live how do I find them um the other thing and I will say this because I do

still volunteer with them so they are always looking for volunteers they it is not a solid commitment you can come and do it as you want it's one day a month and then the day will change because some days work for people and some days don't um you can check out their website which is I need an a.com and if you want more information on the volunteer work let us know Mm-hmm. Next, uh, uh, we talked a little bit about both of our episodes and they are both in the top 10. Dr. Cara, our pelvic floor expert and therapist, um, the passion. Yeah. She has the passion and not just the passion, the passion for care and helping people understand was something that just was beautiful to witness during our conversation you could just

really tell that this is this is her calling and she she leans into it and is very um she's amazing yeah if i if i lived closer then i'd probably go to her um as a patient and i've had i mean i think i talked about this when she came on the episode i have actually had her speak to my classes um that i've taught at several different universities about her work in the field as a pelvic floor pt and i know for a matter of fact that we have had i've had students who were who are physical therapy majors who are like i didn't know this existed and she turned me on to this whole specialty that's just going to go on to help more and more generations so um yeah she just she's amazing she was definitely one of my like top five i

wanted to have on the show. So I'm excited about that. Yeah. Next, we want to thank Dr. Jen Evans for an episode that we didn't necessarily talk about today, but so, so important and her work on stealthing. So this is the episodes that pissed me off, but they're important. So for those of you who don't know what stealthing is, go watch the video. But stealthing is when you agree with a partner to use a condom and then when they're not looking you remove it um and have sex with anyone have sex with them anyway putting them at risk of depending on the genders involved either pregnancy and stis or just stis uh it is something that is happening it is something that is pissing people off that i got a lot of anger not like anger at me but like right

fuck yeah um that that was and i think that's one of the ones we actually got comments on on the site for that. Um, so yeah, that was, that was a powerful one. And thank you, Dr. Evans for doing that work. Yes, absolutely. And then, um, our episode with Timothy for rural roots, queer truths, um, that is the fan that reached out to us to share his lived experience. That episode, uh, went live, uh, just two weeks ago, actually. Um, and so a huge thank you to you to, uh, for being vulnerable and willing to share your story because as you know as he talks about growing up in Kentucky it was a it's it's a it's a different kind of lived experience and so to be vulnerable and forthcoming with that kind of story is truly beautiful and all of our guests yeah the

vulnerability and the willingness to share is is no small feat when we go into these digital creation realms. So thank you so much for enhancing our 2025 because it wouldn't have been the same without you all. So thank you. All right. Well, that's our 2025, y'all. I hope that you are all gearing up for a festive evening to wrap up your 2025, however it was for you and i hope that over some people like it's just over and that's i mean there's a little bit of that for me if i'm honest yeah um but that there are things in 2026 that you are able to to explore and all those things and you know continue your curiosity about unzipping taboos and engaging with us. So with that, I want to thank you all for joining us on this episode

of Unzipping Taboos. And since we've aired and throughout this year, we hope that today's episode will have sparked some new thoughts or some engagement, re-engagement with an episode or two or all, and will open up conversations worth having. Remember that your curiosity is the key at breaking down barriers and embracing a healthier understanding of sex and relationships. If you enjoyed the show or any other show, any other episode, please subscribe, leave a review, share it with someone who might need to hear this. And if you've got a question or a topic or feedback you want to give us, reach out to us via the link in the episode description. A huge thanks to jackandjilladult.com for supporting Unzipping Taboos. This was one of

our highlights, as we said, of 2025. Don't forget that you can get 20% off your order with code unzipping20. We want to give a very special shout out to Allie O'Brien for incredible theme music. Thank you so much, Allie. We wouldn't have the enthusiasm going into the episode sometimes without that beautiful music. So you are key to our success as well. And until next time, keep the conversation going, keep unzipping those taboos, and everyone, take care. We'll see you next time.