Video Gamers Podcast - Best Characters to Hire - Gaming Podcast

Episode Date: September 26, 2022

Gaming hosts Paul, Michael and Josh are bringing you another hilarious can’t miss episode. This week we go head to head in a funny gaming tournament where we break down the best Video Game Characters to Hire, and what they’re perfect jobs would be. If you love gaming and love laughter, this is one you can’t miss.    Thanks to our LEGENDARY supporters: MarbleMadness, Dr. Catatonic, Blackstar (DQ), Glapsuidir, Phelps, Michele B, Redletter, Nevo, Waynerman, TFolls, AceofShame, Jake, RangerMiller, and Ad   Connect with the show: Support us on Patreon: patreon.com/multiplayerpodcast Join our Gaming Discord: https://discord.gg/Dsx2rgEEbz Follow us on Instagram: instagram.com/multiplayerpod/ Follow us on Twitter: twitter.com/MultiplayerPod Subscribe to us on YouTube: youtube.com/channel/UCU12YOMnAQwqFZEdfXv9c3Q Visit us on the web: multiplayerpodcast.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Rise to rewards with the BMO Eclipse Rise Visa Card. Terms and conditions apply. Hello, everyone. Welcome to the Multiplayer Gaming Podcast. We love games, and if you're listening to this, we assume that you do too. So let's have some fun with this bonus round episode. Please make sure to rate our show five stars and leave a written review in Apple Podcasts. We also have a Patreon page where you can be a supporter of the show. You'll get a live shout out on an episode when you sign up,

and you will also get two bonus Squadcast episodes every single month. I am your host, Paul, and today the three of us are not podcasters. We are running an employment agency. As businesses have been looking to bring in more workers lately, today we are going to turn to the world of video game characters to see where they would fit best in the business world. Coming up first, I am joined by Josh. Say hello to the people hello people how was that i can follow directions please hire me paul very good job a plus on uh on ability to follow directions and with us as always the man who brainstormed the idea for this episode it's michael thank you thank you i didn't get any directions, so I don't know what to say. Hi. Hello, people. There, I followed Josh's directions. We're good,

right? Absolutely. So this is our first draft and tournament that we've done in a while. I believe our last one was August 1st. I'm always surprised at how quickly time passes. So Josh, do you want to tell the people a little bit how these bonus round tournaments work? So we come up with a completely nonsensical idea because those are usually the most fun. And what we'd like to do is we will form our team. So basically what we do is we start off with a draft a la fantasy football or something like that, where we each pick a character and then it goes on to the next person. Now we'll do it snake style to keep things fair. So if Paul is the last pick, then Paul gets the first pick in the next round. So he'll have back-to-back picks to kind of make up for going last. And we just do that until we draft a team. And then what we're going to do is we are going to pit our picks up against each other in a tournament style format until one person's pick wins the entire tournament.

That person gets to celebrate in their eternal glory, or at least for this episode anyway. And that's it. Yeah. So we get to argue. We get to fight a little bit, we get to kind of, like I said, have some nonsense, humorous picks and things like that, and really just kind of argue our case and slander each other's picks as well. A little bit, yeah. And I think it's been a minute since you've won one of these, Josh, because I... Oh, is the slandering starting already, Paul? Come on, you're going to leave with that? Fights. I won the last one for best class with Necromancer, which ended up being like a little bit of a, what's the word I'm looking for?

Controversy. As it should be. Controversy. Yeah. I would say half the people said that is hands down clearly the best class. And they're wrong. And then the other half of the people had the weirdest picks for what they thought should win. So it definitely generated a lot of discussion on Discord.

But I think before that, Michael had won two in a row. Boom. Well, we let him though, because he lost so horribly on the ones beforehand. That's probably true. I hadn't won yet until I was two first. So we're coming back for revenge this time. We're going to take it.

That's all right. I got this one in the bag, guys. Bag it. So the idea for this one is characters that you would hire to work for a company. So the way this is going to work is we are going to say the character that we are drafting, and we are also going to include the title or at least the type of job that we are hiring them for. And I think that that also almost puts like a double layer to this draft. It's not just the character.

We also have some choice about what kind of job they're doing. And the draft order for this one is Josh, Michael, and then me for round one. So Josh, this is kind of a crazy draft to have the first overall pick for. What all the listeners didn't hear is me whining profusely before we started recording about how sometimes on a draft you want the first pick. We did best villains, and I think GLaDOS was the first pick. The one down to one. And then one hands down because she's the best villain. Yeah.

I got lucky there because anyone would pick her first. Yeah. Some drafts, it's so kind of subjective that there's no clear winner. And so I may have whined a little bit. A little bit of bad luck. But now that we're recording, I'm just going to go into this fully confident sounding, guys. You sound more confident. Yes.

I, in fact, you exhume confidence on me. Now I am more confident as well. I'm not exhuming anything michael because that's i don't like digging up dead bodies i don't even know what that word means but i feel it i feel confidence how do we even how do we even judge this by the way is it based on like who is like the most accurate like like if i pick a person their job like if that person is really good at that job, would they be really good at it? Is that how we judge it?

Or is it based on how ridiculous it is or how funny? We don't have rules here. We're just going to fight. I don't know. Yeah. This is a little bit like apples to apples or quiplash rules. It's just going to be whatever we want to say. So, yeah, if someone drafts Lucio from Overwatch to be a DJ, yes, yes that's very on the nose maybe that's a little too

obvious i think we generally do recognize a certain layer of creativity so i think you have to be accurate but you also have to be a little bit creative if you want to win this draft i think that's the strategy i would agree because i told my wife asked yeah and and she was like oh well you got to pick mario to be a plumber and i was like no baby no nobody's gonna do that and she was like but that's the and i was like yeah no that's not the point of this that's exactly what i was good at yeah scratch hold on michael michael's way of removing mario mario as a doctor hold on koopa as a dinosaur now you can't hide so hold on all right all right i'll try with what i've got with what i've got left i'll try i'll do As a dinosaur... No, you can't hire a dinosaur. Hold on. All right. Dinosaur's not a job. Despite what Stepbrothers might say. I'll try it with what I've got left.

I'll do what I can. All right. So, Josh, you're going to start us off here, buddy. What are you going to take with the number one overall pick? There's not a clear first choice on this, but there is one that I'm a little worried you guys would dip into this character for something. So, I'm going to take this character first. Wait. If the character's gone but not the job, can we this to this character for something so i'm gonna take this character first wait if the character's gone but not the job can you still take the character

for a different job really i think it's off the table oh no you're gonna take my character right now aren't you i mean i don't know i hope so but probably not so i am i am taking sonic oh okay okay as a door dasher. Oh, man, that's good. I had him on my list as a gopher intern. Oh. Because if you need to send someone to get your coffee, he's going to be back before you know it. Give me my food quick, man.

The worst thing in the world is waiting for your food to show up. So if I've got Sonic as an employee that is just dashing all that food to people instantly, I'm going to make a ton of money. Yeah. Not a bad pick. That's pretty good, actually, because he's going to be quick. Even though he's got to tuck the food, I'm sure there's some kind of bag you can make for him

that he just tucks it in his body while he rolls around. Yeah. And he'll get there quick. He's a friendly guy, so people would be happy to see him show up. Tips galore. I mean, let's be honest. He's just going to run there, so we don't have to worry about gas

or pollution or any of those costs either. So really the ideal employee for being a Door Dasher. He hits with the green too. Dang it! The green and the green money and the environment. If you guys vote against him, by the way, I'm just going to say

you both hate the planet. And animals, by the way. I think gonna say you both hate the planet so and animals by the way i think you're gonna be stuck on the door dash update your dasher is waiting for your order that's gonna be the biggest delay but it's just there instantly like this app sucks it never updates properly sonic is approaching with your order please wear a mask for precaution and then he's already ringing the doorbell yeah yeah all All right. I like it. That's a good pick. Sonic was definitely on my list, so I certainly can appreciate it. Off your list, Paul. All right, Michael.

Number two overall pick. What are you taking? Man, I'm between two different ones that I think you might take one of them. And so I'm... Oh, which one do I like more? I like this one more. I'm going to pick Kim Katsuragi from Disco Elysium. He's going to be my lawyer.

Here's why. The reason why Kim Katsuragi would make a great lawyer, I feel like I can talk to him. Aside from a chuckle, he's not going to judge me. Clearly, he's going to be on my side because you know how hairy he is. Whatever I did wrong, he's going to be like, you know what? I got you whatever i did wrong he's gonna be like you know what i got you he's a genius when it comes to the rules so i don't i don't think he can't win you know can't like learn the rule book but here's the biggest thing is at the end of the game not a spoiler but kind of a spoiler he's gonna he's gonna make those naysayers believe no matter what

i did that they're on my side i think i think he's gonna be a good lawyer i think that's a great job for kim katsuragi aside from being a police officer. Book it! He's in the lawyer. He's a good advocate. Definitely an eye for detail. I feel like he'd be very good at paperwork as well. Yeah, I was going to say, he's got an eye for detail, I think.

Probably your biggest downside here is that he certainly has not served as a lawyer, it's gonna be a little bit of a new job for him yeah he'll be fine he's good he's good at new things i mean he's good at partnering with an amnesiac detective so cops should know the law too so yeah it's not too big of a stretch no no it's not all right well i like where you're going with this michael and uh you know what let's keep the disco at least some train rolling i knew it i am drafting harry dubois to be my internal affairs

director slash company events coordinator so we're gonna get a two for one with harry if uh we think someone in the company is stealing funds they're embezzling maybe someone's stealing too many post-its guess who's gonna be able to figure it out no matter what it's harry it's gonna take a while harry doesn't even need any clues guys he's gonna be talking to keyboards he's gonna say tell me who's who's stealing the money and the keyboards are gonna tell him he's gonna be able to solve any internal affairs issues at all now i know what you're thinking is he going to be drinking on the job yes probably this is why he is also the company events coordinator harry knows how to have a good time all right i would like to go to one of

harry's events yeah it's either gonna be great or terrible like either he forgot everything and there's just like a bunch of people standing around with like pbrs or something like that that's the best he could do because he forgot and it was short notice or it's gonna be brilliant i love it he knows the best alcohol brands he can get his hands on any let's just say electrochemistry substances that you want he is your man and he knows how to karaoke and have a good time he's he's got everything you would want so he's gonna handle the one-two punch internal affairs and company events coordinator and i'm gonna lock that one in with my first pick i did not see two disco characters going in the top it's pretty funny man also i like how you gave him a dual role that's

very corporatey where it's like this is your main job but we're gonna need you to handle company events as well harry oh yeah yeah we're going two for one we're getting our money's worth out of these positions all right so that'll be my first pick and then on the way back since i get my two in a row start of the second round, I am going to draft Claptrap from Borderlands. No! And Claptrap is my company janitor. Oh, you loser. He was on your list, Josh?

Yes, he was on my list. Not for that job, but I had him. What were you going to take him for? I was going to make him a bartender. Motivational speaker? No, I was going to be a bartender. Oh, that's funny. Like R2 in Return of2 in uh return the jedi he's going around he's dancing he's bringing you your drinks i mean you know if you're having a bad day which

is probably what happens when you go to a bar right like he's gonna cheer you up and all that so but i mean no i guess if you want to make him a boring janitor paul go ahead i feel like he's chipperness is wasted on a janitor role. Yes, thank you, Michael. Nope, this is where you're wrong, okay? First of all, Claptrap has no discernible skills whatsoever. They make that very clear. He is not a skilled worker.

I'm not so sure he can mix drinks, Josh, but I think he can certainly be a glorified Roomba. I think this is basically what he already is so i think that's going to translate very well let's say we just we also just lost all the janitors sorry robots listening oh man robot phobic janitor phobic don't worry i'll pick up the next pick so here's the thing he is always so happy he's gonna boost all company morale he's going around cleaning while everyone's still working he's gonna be chatting it up he's gonna be talking about how much he loves this job and how great it all is and also he's not a person

so we don't have to pay him so just imagine how much we're gonna save on social security medicare and unemployment tax this is a win all around hiring claptrap as janitor i can't believe you stole claptrap from me man i was like i didn't think either one of you was going to find a job for him dude claptrap gets taken in every single one of our drafts no matter what he pops up all right i think we're ready to move on here michael you get the second pick in the second round what are you going for well if robots were out on the last pick hopefully listening now because i am picking glados to run my in-home security network or my corporate security but mostly my in-home security because i mean enough said right if the thieves are coming to my house they're either going to be toast in no time or they're going to be so insane

they're going to leave because it's too much trouble. Also, speaking of a connected home, I'll get a laugh from time to time because she's much more clever of an AI than Siri or Alexa. So any of those around the house like, hey, Siri, tell me the weather today. GLaDOS is going to give me something funny at least, too, because I think that kind of comes as a two-for-one package that I can talk to her, but mostly because nobody's going to break into my house. My stuff is safe.

My family's safe. I mean, she might go a little crazy, but if she's being hired by me to do her job, I think she'll be fine. It's going to stay until she tries to murder you. I mean, what's a little murder for a home security system? It's fine. See, the only thing that I was worried about is that you're going to go that line, but I think

it's a good pick, so I'm sticking with it. I actually had GLaDOS on my list, but I had her as a baker. What? As a baker? Yes, because you do everything you do in Portal for the cake. And so if she can make a cake that enticing then she needs to be a baker because she'd be the best baker in the world that's pretty good so we've got glados says what'd you say like head of security yeah i had a security okay got it maybe she's my in-home security like software

or hardware whatever she's the head of security she's all of it sure i do think that there's a little bit of a chance glados might troll you every now and again i feel like she could hack her way into your thermostat maybe like crank it up to 90 in the middle of the night uh that might be a little bit of a of a risk here with glados but i like it could make life fun though that's true it's on her toes all right we are back to josh with the last pick of round two of course you get your picks back to backs all right so this next one's super easy i'm taking the spaceship from elite dangerous as a hypnotist no i'm just kidding i'm not really oh it hurts nothing nothing else in the world could

make me fall asleep faster oh man very nice oh i'm'm kidding. All right. It's not a multiplayer gaming podcast episode if we don't stab you once. I was going to say, I had to really work that in there. All right. This one, I kind of like this one, guys. I'm taking Link from Legend of Zelda as a landscaper. And you guys know why. All right. Because how many patches of grass did you guys chop down looking for rupees

how many pots did you lift up so that you could smash down looking for rupees this guy knows his landscaping he knows his grass he knows his plants he knows his bushes and his trees because you're always smacking those hoping something falls out of them as well he is the landscaper extraordinaire due to all of the experience he has nobody else is better in the business plus he wears green all the time i mean his whole image is is just it screams landscaper to me are you concerned that he's gonna cut the bushes too short because hey man he tends to just chop them out straight from the ground then i don't have to pay him to come back for a long time landscaping you're gonna pay him to rip out all the shrubs yeah man but you know like i said all

he's got to do is just charge that up and go and then he spins around and your yard is trimmed you're good to go yeah i was i was playing lawnmower simulated. I was like, can I get a landscaper in here? I didn't find anyone for landscaping, so that's perfect. I'm glad you did. So, I mean, I don't know what other job he'd be a natural for, but that's the one that comes to my mind.

All right. Makes sense. All right. And then, so now we're starting round... Three. Three. Round three. Fastest we've ever gone through some rounds.

You know, it wouldn't be an episode if we didn't troll Michael for Elite Dangerous. And it wouldn't be an episode if I didn't take my guy, Kratos, as a guidance counselor. Oh, no. Guidance counselor. What better listener is there?

You got a problem? Come talk to Kratos. He's just going to nod. If you're a kid, because let's be honest, guidance counselors, they're in school. He's just going to listen to your problems. He's going to say, boy, which is going to be very motivating.

He's going to tell you what to do. He's going to say, hey, pick yourself up by your britches and climb that mountain. Attack that giant. Those kinds of things. I think he'd make a phenomenal guidance counselor. Plus, he's cool to hang out with. So people aren't like, oh, I don't want to go talk to the guidance counselor. He's just a really good listener, guys.

I did have Kratos on my list as a doorman because no one no one's getting past kratos no if he's guarding the front door i will say as guidance counselor i'm a little concerned he may not know the tech industry terribly well and know where to plug you in in today's world um But I do hear you, Josh. He certainly is quick to hear and slow to speak. And that's what you need, man. I don't need no guidance counselor trying to boss me around and not listening to my problems or anything like that. He's in touch with the natural world,

so he understands things that are going on. I think he can understand technology. The guy's got a magical axe and blades that come on fire. I think he can understand technology. The guy's got a magic, like magical ax and blades that come on fire. You think that's magic? There's technology behind that, man. That guy is really a tech wizard.

Magic. Maybe. I don't know. Fantasy, fantasy tech. Is that magic? Yeah, it works.

Magic. Yes. You think those are runes on that ax? Those are circuits, man. And if we want to, we could call him, um, those are raspberry pies. that axe those are circuits man and if we want to we could call him those are raspberry pies on the ends of those blades oh my goodness now i know that we definitely

had a lot of debating on whether or not kratos was a good father because i would say father and guidance counselor there's a lot of overlap there exactly my argument was always that kratos is actually a pretty terrible father he will protect physically, but he's not providing any real emotional guidance or laying out a path for you in life. Atreus seems to be turning out okay. He made it to the sequel. He is alive. He climbed the mountain. He's alive.

He's a good fighter. He got over his sickness yeah so i mean what more can you want paul cut the guy some slack all right we'll see how long kratos lasts in this as a guidance counselor okay i mean the easy thing would have been like lumberjack or doorman or something like that we did see him carry a a 7 000 pound tree yeah i mean how many crates did he smash open in splinter wood? Of course, you know, yes, the guy could be a lumberjack, Paul, but that's a little too easy. I mean, he could be a manscaped underwear model.

Oh, he could. I mean, yeah. You don't wear no shirt ever. All right, Michael, round three, pick two. Who are you taking for your third pick? Back to me. This one, this might land flat or it might work really well because I'm just thinking of,

would this person be the perfect person for this job? Yes. Is it a good job? No. Well, it's a good job, but not the way he'll treat it. I just purchased myself a Waffle House franchise, right? I need a chef in this Waffle House franchise. Who better to be an abusive

Waffle House chef than Trevor Phillips? Oh my goodness. I mean, it does kind of fit Waffle House. I mean, he's going to have that window you can look through like no one's giving him crap. He's going to give it right back. The truck drivers come in at two or three o'clock in the morning.

They're going to get their food just fine. He's going to smell better than the place, maybe, but yeah, Trevor Williams. I think it's just, you know, he fits,

he fits an abusive Waffle House chef very, very well. And I'm just going to go with that. He will be indistinguishable from the patrons of the Waffle House. I will say that. Don't write to him. Yeah. I'd be a little worried he's not going to show up for all his shifts that's that's a concern could be or just dirty underwear in the

food too yeah i mean if anyone complains about the food they might might end up with a bullet to the head right all right trevor phillips says waffle house chef i did not see waffle house chef being one of the titles but i like it as an abusive waffle house chef that's the key part of it yeah it's in the it's in the job description must be uh crotchety and angry so you see this as like teppanyaki it's now like a show and waffles because trevor is also going to be abusive. Is this kind of how you picture it? Yeah. It's just the way he is. Sure. Oh, good old Trevor.

He tends to pop up in these drafts, too. He robs the place every night, too. Yeah, my waffle house is not going to be that sustainable for very long. No, it's going to get burned to the ground, or he's not going to show up. That's a short-lived job, I think. All right, end of round three for my third pick i am gonna go with my boy micah bell he's gonna be a part of my company i considered a couple guys from red dead well yeah here's what he's gonna be for me guys he is my head of hr and he is also my conflict resolution mediator he's gonna he's going to be for me guys. He is my head of HR and he is also my conflict resolution mediator.

He's going to, he's going to be doing double, double, double dirty, double duty. I mean, it's probably double dirty with him. Yeah.

So here's the thing. If Micah is in charge of HR and he's doing, you know, the, the hiring of employees, if you can make it to the end of an interview with Micah Bell, I think you deserve to get hired. I think this is going to be a good vetting process. I feel like the big thing would be if you went to him with a complaint, he would just be like, suck it up, black lung.

Precisely why he is also the conflict resolution mediator. If two people are having a problem with each other or they have a conflict, if you put those two people in a room with Micah, I don't know how many people are walking out of the room, but I guarantee you there's no longer a conflict. That conflict is done. It's been handled one way or another. There is no conflict after that meeting with Micah. It's true.

When one person's dead, there's no more conflict. That does help. Or both dead. So essentially, it's a check yes or no. Was the conflict resolved? Yes. 100% success rate. It's always going to be resolved.

That's all that matters. That's true. I don't care how. He's probably very good at that job. Yeah. Yeah. So that's it. Micah Bell, head ofr and conflict resolution mediator

and now we are in the last round so with my last pick here boy i've got a lot of um uh honorable mentions we're gonna have to spend a little bit of time on that here in a minute but for my last pick i am gonna go with bowser and he is going to be the overseer of construction so whenever we need to build a new office building bowser is going to be the overseer of the job have you guys seen the castles that bowser gets built have you guys seen these they're full of they're full of fireballs, water, death pits, floating bridges, exotic flying fish. I mean, Bowser, there's secret passageways to get quickly from one area of the castle to another. I mean, Bowser's got to know the best contractors in town. So what you're saying is that your office building will be full of flying fish pits fireballs and lava

that's well i'm it does sound deadly deadly deadly places well we're not going to use those in these office buildings i'm just saying bowser knows the contractors who get things done they are creative they are resourceful and we're going to use their powers for good. And guess what? Contractors famously don't always stick to their timetable, right? Guess who's going to be able to motivate those contractors to finish the job? Are you going to go to Bowser and tell them it's going to be another three weeks until they get back to your house because of delays? I guarantee you it's not happening. And if that job comes back being a lot higher than the estimate i'm pretty sure bowser is going to be able to uh just keep it at the lower rate

so with bowser we're coming in under budget we're going to be ahead of schedule uh bowser is a win win here guys and filled with lava and fireballs no you guys are so focused on the lava i'm not saying i want lava but i want the contractor who knows how to get lava because he's also gonna know how to get all the other things you had me to lava but doesn't every bowser level have lava yes okay just making sure so so lava okay we're good so you're're going to have lava. Oh my goodness. All right. You guys know what I mean. What if he tries to eat me? Does he eat people? Bowser doesn't eat people.

He's a dinosaur, though. Dinosaur. No, he's a turtle dragon thing. A turtle dragon. I actually did have Bowser as one on my list. I had him as a winemaker because he can stomp grapes like nobody's business. That's really good. He would be able to stop. Oh man, I wish

I was creative and clever. Dang it. Trevor in your waffle house. I am googling turtle, turtle, turtle dragon right now, but yeah, famous turtle dragons, fire. He's got to be part dragon

and what's he got on his back guys spiky turtle shell yeah thank you yeah all right well we are roughly halfway through the episode so we are going to take a short break and we will be right back with more multiplayer gaming podcast all right fellas we are back continuing our draft here we have two final picks in the draft michael you are on your last pick now what are you going for i had to bring one home and not necessarily go with the comedic value but just go with this is a very appropriate job for this person this person is to be from near automata she's it's gonna be pretty simple she's my bodyguard i thought the reason why i thought you're gonna give her a mannequin oh yes oh that's so literal though it worked really well hold still

yeah they go hold that sword that looks way too heavy for you giant sword uh no first of all i'm gonna look really good standing next to her because first of all she's an awesome robot smoke show uh she's incredible with a katana so nobody obviously if anyone tries to to get near me there it's going to be slicing like 14 pieces she's a robot so she doesn't have fear of getting hurt and a fearless bodyguard's pretty cool and if something does happen to her we just download her consciousness into a new 2b and i got another bodyguard and the added bonus because of her super strength she can also help me move if i need to move because you know i mean you've seen the stuff that she has to pick up like the swords weigh like a thousand pounds she does it like

nobody's business so to be my bodyguard slash occasional moving help blending the line between personal and business i was gonna say yeah the smoke show doesn't have anything to do with it right michael i'm paying her okay no honey to be is only here because i got a really good rate honey there you don't have to worry about a thing she's just standing there was never mind agent 46 put in an application as a bodyguard and he didn't get the job yeah i thought about nines too but i was like oh to be just there very nice all right well we are on our final pick of the draft josh who are you gonna end us off all right i have two left thankfully nobody took either one of these so i i can just i can say what both of them are actually um i have kirby

as a mover because he can suck up anything and then just move it around. So Kirby's moving service would be quite handy. That's pretty good. And then I also have Doomguy as an exterminator. He can exterminate demons. Pests got nothing on this guy. Exactly. And that would actually be the slogan. As much as I think Kirby would be a good mover, I have to go with Doomguy as an exterminator because

if I've got ants, I know I'm not going to have ants anymore after Doomguy comes by. I also know I'm probably not going to have a house anymore either, but you know what? That means the ants are gone. And if you have to perform any exorcisms in the office, Doomguy's got you covered.

That's on the menu for side services. Easy, easy um just in case yeah exactly plus i feel like he would bring a really epic soundtrack along with him as he's exterminating you know everything in the house as well so doom guys got a boom box yeah i mean it's just blasting heavy metal you know as he's just wasting roaches and ants and whatever else, you know, termites or whatever, you know, scorpions. I don't have to be afraid of scorpions in Arizona anymore. Yeah.

Doom guy just goes. Scorpions are the worst. Dude, doom guy goes out back with the BFG. Just bye-bye scorpions. Get out of my yard. If anybody in the United States or anybody in the world thinks that spiders are awful, try scorpions. They're awful.

They have an exoskeleton. It's crunchy when you kill them, and it's terrible. Spiders are like little tiny clown scorpions. Yeah, I don't mind spiders. No, but scorpions? Scorpions are like the wasps to bees. Scorpions are to spiders as wasps are to bees. Spiders and bees serve a purpose.

Wasps and scorpions do not. Yeah, and we have the bark scorpion in Phoenix, which is the only scorpion that will climb walls and jump on top of you. It will literally fall out of a tree on your shoulder. It's happened to me. I was like, ah! Not with Doomguy's exterminator service.

Nope. Doomguy wins pretty well on me. Round four has gone pretty well with Doomguy because he brought up scorp Nope. Doomguy wins pretty well on me. Round four has gone pretty well with Doomguy. Call today. Mention code multiplayer and he'll give you a 10% discount too, Michael. Oh, sweet. Okay, I'll call. Get $50 off your first treatment.

Doomguy doesn't have a name, does he? It's just whatever your character name is. Doomguy. Doomguy. That's literally his name. So when he shows up, he can be like, what's up, Doomguy? Yep. He just fist bumps you

that's it because he doesn't really talk you know he's no nonsense yeah yeah i'm all for it we recently found a couple black widows in our house and so our family's been on like high alert they they've not been happy about it but luckily no scorpions but the baby scorpions are the most uh is it toxic or venomous venom venomous is it venom yeah i think they they release more of the venom because they haven't learned how much to put out yet so they go they go all in yeah baby scorpions don't don't mess with them hire hire doom guy today all right well do you guys have any other honorable mentions because i got a couple on my list. I do as well. Why don't you go first? You never go first. You always go last.

Talking of scorpions, boy, what a nice segue here. I was thinking about hiring Scorpion as my fishing boat captain slash harpooner. So good. He's going to harpoon. So good. And he's a bad guy. So I'm not saying that I'm going to go hunting like whales or dolphins or things that you aren't supposed to hunt i'm just saying scorpion's a bad guy he's gonna be willing to do it and he's got unlimited harpoons so i think he would fit the bill that's a good pick yeah what about you michael what'd you have on on your list i got a couple more but we can go back and forth just go back and forth um i have the hero of Kvatch.

Just kidding. He's not on here. I just wanted to say it. I have a lawyer as my wife, but you can't really hire a wife unless it's like a a lawyer. I'm seeing a trend here. Michael Glados. I know all these hot. How did you not pick Lara Croft

for something? I trust me. I spent a long time. I'm going to pick Lara Croft as my maid. Personal assistant, obviously. Yeah, she's my antiquarian. Don't you guys have an antiquarian around the house? He goes and looks for antiques? Oh, I was going to say, what on earth is an antiquarian?

But I guess that makes sense. Antiquarian is an archaeologist, but for doesn't does it for profit doesn't do it for studying. Yeah, so they're museums. They're bad guys now. No, they do it. They do it to sell

the stuff. Oh, sorry. The other way around got that bad guys bad guys. Yeah. All right. Very nice.

I like it. Thank you. I like Josh. Josh mentioned agent forty six. I think he meant agent forty seven, but I had him on my whatever.

What's one number? There had to have been an Agent 46 before there was an Agent 47, Paul. Yeah, like 007 and all the others. Yeah, exactly. The truth, yes. Agent 47 would be fantastic at corporate espionage because he's going to be able to walk into any of my nemesis corporations. He's going to walk in the front door. And within five minutes, I feel like he's going to be roaming the executive offices. He's going to be able to knock people out and put on their clothes in less than four seconds.

And he's going to work his way around. He's going to be able to steal any corporate secrets I need. I think he's going to be fantastic. And he's not going to leave a trace. He's going to be able to steal any corporate secrets I need. I think he's going to be fantastic, and he's not going to leave a trace. He's going to get in, get the info, get out. They're never going to know he was there, and I'm going to be all the better off by having Agent 47 on my side. Do you have any others, Michael? Yeah, I had

Fontaine or Atlas from Borderlands. No, not Borderlands. I'm sorry. Bioshock. Bioshock. I always mix up those games. I don't know why. They both start with B. That's it. That's why. And there's syllables in them too, like multiple. Maybe a space. I was going to have him as a wedding planner

because you know how wedding planning is. Things have to get done and all he's got to really say is, would you kindly? And the caterer is going to get it done. All these people are going to get their stuff done and the bride's got to really say is would you kindly and like the caterer is going to get it done. All these people are going to get their stuff done and the bride's going to be not bride's a limo. She's going to be like Fontana Atlas. You're good to go. Everything got done. So

I thought that was really effective. I didn't have to be very polite. I did have big daddy as a nanny like way way down on my list. Yeah, nice. I could certainly see that as well. Yeah, my list. I've got two other ones. I thought Pac-Man as office nutritionist would work really well. The dude eats all day, never gains a single ounce of weight.

And if your office ends up being haunted, he's going to take care of the ghosts. So similar to Doom Guy with your exorcisms, Pac-Man's got you covered for uh ghost busting as well and then my last one was gordon freeman as my accountant payroll manager i figure if the dude can handle you know uh nuclear physics and all that stuff he can probably handle accounting yeah yeah he can file my taxes any others on your list, Michael? The last one that I had, it's not really a job, so I left it off. But I'd hire V, whether it be he or she, to run my notorious hacking group, Venonymous. Venonymous.

Venonymous. Oh, great. It has real-life applications, too, because he or she can kick butt, show me how to shoot a gun. If anyone needs revenge, avenged, or just generally made an example of be the person to do it so it's kind of like a a protection hacker like hey that person cut me off in traffic no problem their bank account's been hacked they don't have any money anymore i've got it uh but that seemed like not a realistic job so you know i left it off the list and my last one is i don't know if i mentioned this uh aloy as my wife. Okay. We're doubling down on that one.

My wife doesn't listen to the podcast, so we're good. Oh, goodness. Don't worry. I'll cut this chunk out and I'll send it to her. There we go. Yeah. All right. So we now have our full draft done.

Josh has drafted the following team. Sonic as DoorDash driver. Link as landscaper. kratos as guidance counselor and doom guy as exterminator you're really coming in here with like the the blue collar jobs here josh i i really like it they're the they're the lifeblood of our country yeah absolutely michael so happy you're the host because i could not have gotten through that list without laughing. Yeah. These are all sentences I never thought I would say.

Michael is coming in with Kim Kitsuragi as lawyer. GLaDOS as head of security. Trevor Phillips as Waffle House chef. Oof, that's a wild card. And Tubi as personal bodyguard. I like it. Solid team. And my team is coming in.

My team is much more like office jobs. I feel like Josh went for the trade jobs. Mine are all very much like inside a big giant office downtown. We've got Harry Dubois. Yeah. Harry Dubois as internal affairs slash company event coordinator. We've got clap trap as janitor boy. Best use of his skills. Can I say we've got Claptrap as janitor. Boy, best use of his skills, can I say. We've got Micah Bell as head of HR

and conflict resolution mediator and Bowser as overseer of construction. So, guys, all these picks make perfect sense. That's all I've got to say. I don't know how we're going to pick a winner. They're all just so good. Alright, you guys ready to start matching these up one-on-one? Let's do it. I can't know how we're going to pick a winner. They're all just so good. All right. You guys ready to start matching these up one-on-one? Let's do it.

I can't wait to slander all of you guys. All right. It's coming. March Madness style. I don't even know how we provide much commentary here other than just picking one for some reason. I don't know how to really compare apples to oranges. Don't you worry. I can argue with a wall.

All right. don't you worry yeah i can argue with a wall all right well obviously here round one match one sonic as door dash driver versus to be as personal bodyguard i mean this is an easy one is that to be to be i'm not getting hurt who's better at their job sonic who's providing a service to millions of people versus just Michael's fantasies? Nobody said we'd have to make money off this. I'm spending money on mine, but I'm protecting...

Who's performing a job that keeps my family safe? No, it's your bodyguard. Sonic is delivering food to hungry people throughout the world. Instantly. Two words, okay?

Katana. One word. Two words. I had another word in there. I had another word before that. I'm like, Katana sword? Why did I say two words? Why did I say two words? It was one word.

I'm like, I was going to say one word for Michael to add the next word. All right. Well, well, I got to work this one. Yeah. Well, I got two words for you guys. Sonic. Sonic. This two syllables.

Not even two syllables. Katana. It's three. Yeah. I think we're got to give it to Sonic. Two syllables. Not even two syllables. Katana, it's three. Oh, goodness. I think we've got to give it to Sonic. I'm not as big of a 2B fan. I know a lot of people out there are. Not so much for me.

I'll just leave it at that. Androids don't do it for you, Paul? Not particularly. Plus, if you have a bodyguard that already has plans for if they die, I'm not really trusting them so much i was hoping you'd just give it to sonic but if you didn't i was gonna mention the self-destruct where like she just self-destructs and then michael dies too yeah hey at least i didn't see it coming it was quick that's but i mean as a bodyguard you're not really

looking for quick death yeah the quick death yeah kind of trying to avoid the quick death. Yeah, I think we're going to give Sonic the win for the first match. I think it's just because you couldn't stomach getting rid of a first round pick for a fourth round pick. Absolutely not. That's how I sleep tonight. I operate all these drafts with pure integrity, Michael. All right. Round one, match two.

Kim Kitsuragi as lawyer versus Bowser as overseer of construction. Kim Kitsuragi is the best lawyer on the planet because he's the best cop on the planet and he will be the best lawyer on the planet. Do those things automatically roll well into each other?

Cop to attorney? I don't know. I don't think so. That is a stretch. I think it's more about a skill set, though. Look at his skill set. You can go from one job to another, but look at his skill set. He's very meticulous.

He doesn't miss details. You need that, right? He provides comfort for the client. You're going to believe. If he's like, Kim's like, hey, listen, it's going to be okay. I'm going to do the best. I'm like, I believe that guy. He's a straight shooter. But also, not to mention, he's really good at talking people into stuff. Every time he talks in that game when harry's like lost his mind

kim just says like two words and they're like oh the real the real authority's here i'll go ahead and i i comply i'm i'm gonna slander both of your picks here because oh that's sad well i mean i i think the leap from a cop to a lawyer is a big leap. It's, you know, just because like they're both in law doesn't mean that one is a expert at the law like a lawyer would be. But a lawyer also needs to be able to be like argue. And I feel like Kim is just so timid that he wouldn't be a good lawyer in court because he'd just be like, yes, your honor. Thank you. But he doesn't have to be a litigator. he can be an attorney that's like behind the scenes like a maritime lawyer then that's what you're saying so like hold on what is what is that you know um yeah and then paul

bowser i'd like your angle on that it is a great pick except that that overseer? Is that a career? Is that a job? Yes. Look, Bowser is not... Name one overseer that you know in real life, Paul. My father-in-law is an overseer of construction. I thought you called that a foreman. Yeah, like a foreman. Similar to a foreman, yes.

My point is just that Bowser, I'm not drafting him as a construction worker. He's not out there physically building my office buildings i'm just saying he is a man that gets stuff done he is going to oversee the project and he knows all the contractors they're gonna get these jobs done he's got the hookups that's primarily what i'm getting here with bowser and we're gonna have the best offices on the planet if we have Bowser overseeing the project. All right. Here's how I'm going to break this tie because I'm assuming that you guys are each voting for yourselves. And so I'm the tying vote.

Michael. No, Paul's voting for me. Name one famous lawyer, Michael. Oh, that's easy. Clarence Darrow. Okay, Paul, name one famous overseer. What does it matter how famous they are? It's how well they do the job.

Overseer is not a job. Of course it's a job. Overseer? Yes, of course. Project manager? Do you prefer that title, Josh? I do prefer the proper term for it. I'm going to give it to you, Paul.

I'm giving it to Paul. Wait, what? I don't think Kim would make a good lawyer, man. He's a great cop. He would make it great. But here's the thing. That argument is bogus because Link is a landscaper. Hold on. Let's pick

Kratos as a guidance counselor. We're not to that pick yet. You can say that pick all you want. But if your argument is that just because he does one job, he can't be good at another. Kratos is really good at killing people. So he's going to make a great guy. If you don't have a good future, that's a handy skill.

It's bogus. Kim Kitsuragi will be like the best lawyer. Michael's got some very good arguments coming up in a couple of matches because we're going to see GLaDOS versus Kratos. And Josh's arguments here might backfire on him. Yeah, they're going to backfire bad. I'll make sure they do. we're going to see GLaDOS versus Kratos and Josh's arguments here might backfire on him. Yeah, they're going to backfire bad. I'll make sure they do. It's going to hurt. All right. Round one, match three. We've got Harry Dubois

as internal affairs director slash company events coordinator. Yes, I'm going to say that every time we bring him up title versus Doomguy as exterminator. One of these is better at their job. My best argument against Doomguy.

Doomguy is like, I don't know that he's going to be the best exterminator because he's blowing stuff up. You yourself said he's going to take the BFG to your backyard. You're going to have to hire Link to redo all your landscaping. He's going to blow holes in the ground everywhere. Great point, Paul. That's two people that now are working together you know it's a racket yeah like when the mafia uh have like the kid break all the windows in town that way the window repair shop has to fix them all guy can slaughter in multiple ways he's not it's not just the bfg you know he can rip things in half easy enough. He can punch them. He's got a

pistol that's very accurate. He's going to shoot all the cockroaches with a pistol. Harry Dubois, as much as I love the character, I feel like this guy is actually going to be very unreliable. Doomguy, if you hire Doomguy as an exterminator,

you don't have bugs anymore. If you hire Harry Dubois to be... Internal Affairs Director slash Company Events Coordinator. That's a column just so I can read the entire title. I didn't even put the whole title in here because it's too long. You just expanded it and it's just nothing. It's really... Slash Company Events Coordinator. There you go, Josh. You're going to have to make it so much larger. It's really the company events coordinator.

There you go, Josh. You have to make it so much larger. I was going to put this out on the Twitter and have people vote, but now I can't because that won't fit on one. You're going to hit that sweet character limit there. I just think Harry's going to be unreliable, man. I think he's going to get wasted. He's going to forget about the party that he tried to set up.

He's going to go disco, man. And then he's gonna like fall on the floor every it's a corporate environment corporate people are kind of stuffy you know you and i have been there paul not everybody is a lightened up kind of person man some people are like i'm trying to get my work done harry keeps distracting me you know angela martins of the world will not like him in the office. Here's my only counter-argument with Harry. Harry is an unconventional dude. Yes.

Is he going to show up on time? No. He might be drinking on the job. But with Harry, you're not buying the process. You're buying a result. Harry will solve any internal affairs issues you have going on. He will solve it internal affairs issues you have going on he will solve it for you it might not be in the way that you expect but he gets the job done nine times out of ten name a pest that doom

guy can't take care of uh exactly bugs how's he gonna take care of bed bugs he's gonna shoot him dude yeah he's just gonna get rid of the whole bed all right my god so you're gonna have to solve this for us all right so uh josh please name a famous exterminator that's not john goodman from arachnophobia truly nolan it's not um this one's hard this one's hard for me his name is truly nolan yeah nolan comma truly. This one's hard because I feel like as an internal event, uh, uh, you have to,

every time you, you, you're making a point for Paul, you have to say the entire, the entire title. You can do it. No, but I feel like as an internal affairs person,

he's perfect. Like you're not buying the process. We know his success rate in policing and investigation is, is, is incredible. it's even better than kim kitsuragi the best lawyer in the world um but as a company events coordinator i don't know if i can buy into that because that event's not happening it's literally gonna be like what i said that being said i'm really trying hard to get to go against josh here because i'm upset that he

just easily nonchalantly just said your first round pick, which is perfect, just goes away because I'm just going to say that after I named a famous lawyer and Paul couldn't even name a famous whatever he was supposed to name overseer a famous 104. Maybe I don't know. I

do guy is a great exterminator, but I got to give it to Harry Dubois just because it is so perfect for him. That's a bitterness pick. I said it wasn't. It wasn't fully endorsed. I want internal affairs to investigate Michael's choice. Blasphemy.

We're consummate professionals. No, I did like I almost I almost said no because the company events coordinator, though, but I think he fits so well with internal affairs that it works for me. They're just going to grease his palm, man, and then he's going to take the money. He's not going to solve the case. That guy is not always on the up and up.

No, we're talking about liberated and reformed and refined Harry Dubois from the end of my playthrough. My favorite part about this draft is that our Google sheet now has such wide entries in these cells that i now have to maximize it and it barely fits on my monitor so harry dubois goes through as internal affairs director slash company events coordinator and now we are up to round one match four clap trap as janitor versus Trevor Phillips as Waffle

House abusive chef. Come on, Trevor is perfect. He's perfect. Oh my goodness. Clap traps talents are wasted on janitorial. He has no skills. He does. They can't be wasted. I'm going to make this one quick. All right. Clap

trap is a phenomenal character and Paul used him in the completely wrong usage. Oh, perfect usage. Trevor Phillips is the perfect Waffle House chef employee. I don't know how many times y'all have been to Waffle Houses, but I've been to a lot in my day. And I would 100% expect to see Trevor Phillips in a Waffle House. I'm giving it to Michael.

He's there. I 100% expect you to get food poisoning. Yes, but you go to Waffle House knowing this. Who goes to Waffle House and thinks they're getting a good hearty meal? If you don't go to Waffle House and within the next three hours have to evacuate something from one of your orifices, you're doing it wrong. And Trevor, he's going to provide that for you. He ain't washing his hands. I'm giving it to Michael solely for the fact

that he nailed the character being in the right place. Paul, I love Claptrap, but you gave him the wrong job. Thank you. I will give extra consideration to your next vote. What skills exactly does Claptrap have that would serve well in the workforce? Bart, his personality. That's why, like I said, I had him as a bartender.

That was the perfect spot for him. He's going to be talkative. He's going to listen to your problems. He's always going to have the solution. He's mobile, so he can serve drinks quickly. He's got a wheel. If he's a janitor, he's just going to leave a tire mark behind him everywhere he goes. That's not good at cleaning up.

All right. I disagree, but you are entitled to your opinion. All right. Round one, match five. Boy, I got to scroll over. I can't see all this. All right. Oh, here we go.

Oh, no. GLaDOS as head of security versus Kratos as guidance counselor. Kratos would be horrible. Oh, boy. One of these seems very well suited for their job what is it crazy a horrible i love kratos and i love josh and i love how kratos looks like josh or josh looks like kratos uh-huh but i just don't see him being a guidance counselor it's like okay here's a here's a good comparison way to label poor kratos just because he can be aggressive

and destructive doesn't mean that that's always what he's going to be. Have you seen the kindness with which he listens to Atreus, how he guides him? The part where he wants to put his hand on his back and give him love, but then he's like, no, I need to let you forge your own path. I need to let you forge your

path. I need to let you make your own mistakes because that's part of growing up because I care about you. I hope he's not putting his hand on anybody's back in elementary school. No, he's not. That's the whole point. He's very aware of people's personal bubbles. I feel like he's about as successful

as maybe Detective Kimball being a kindergarten teacher from Kindergarten Cop. There's a comparison. Very successful movie. At the end, he was a successful kindergarten teacher i mean i know i know paul's picking bladdos on this one so here's the thing i don't think there's an argument i can make to change paul's mind on this all right here's the thing i love kratos and you just wasted all of his skills and put him in the exact opposite position

that he would be suited for you guys shoot things down and I don't hold it against you guys. Why am I the one that gets things held against me? We said the gloves were coming off. Oh yeah, we gotta give this one to GLaDOS. She's gonna make it through. Although I don't see her winning everything overall, but she's gonna make it

out of this round. Alright, last matchup of round one. This is where things tend to go a little bit quicker here link as a landscaper versus micah bell as head of hr slash conflict resolution mediator this one's easy link is the best landscaper that is the number one best fitting job for link it's a little on the nose that's that's I'll say. Okay. It's up to Michael if he wants to credit accuracy or creativity. If I had said Mario as a plumber, that would have been one thing. But relating Link to a landscaper was a stroke of genius, I must say.

I thought it was clever. Yeah. I did think it was clever. What's the other choice? I'm looking through here. Michael Bell as head of HR. Obviously. Michael Bell as head of HR. So this falls into my Kratos category. I think that Michael Bell is hilarious in that,

but I don't see it. You can't see him putting his spurs up on the desk, wearing his cowboy hat. He's going to be a very unsuccessful head of human resources because you can't kill people, and he's going be a very successful unsuccessful head of human resources because you can't kill people and he's going to kill someone we know he's gonna do it right all right fair enough now I vote I vote for link

links all right I like now that that's official I will say that you would never have HR issues if Micah Bell was the HR company that was my only point that was like when I was trying to be funny it's just like he will literally resolve all conflict in the worst most violent way possible yeah you wouldn't have hr

issues which is good but you would have a lot of lawsuits and unfortunately kim kitsuragi is not there to help your company out because you voted him off oh it's true touche all right well shockingly we all have two that made it into the second round. So even though Michael lost his first round, he's still got two still. Pretty soon, I'm going to have none. So here we go. In round two, we're left with six. We've got Sonic, Bowser, Harry Dubois, GLaDOS, Trevor Phillips, and Link. So starting off here, we have round two, match one, Sonic as DoorDash driver versus GLaDOS as head of security.

I feel like this is the final, man. This is the start of round two? Start of round two. I got one question for you, Josh. Sonic can't be a DoorDash driver because they have very specific rules on their vehicles that they approve. He's a DoorDash. If you notice, I never called him a driver. I just said he's a DoorDasher.

It's just what Paul put in the doc. Paul put driver in there. Door dasher. There you go. That's better. Exactly. Still, though, DoorDash does have requirements, though, don't they, on their vehicles? It's got to be.

Nope. They do. No, they don't. They just want you to. Where I work, we get DoorDash every single day. I am very familiar, and I can tell you that the requirements to be a door dash driver are very they're very minimal it's not like uber or lyft i would actually love to have sonic be my door dasher and get our food quickly while it's still hot and fresh yeah you know i know that as a group

we don't use door dash terribly often as individuals but have you guys ever ordered door dash and watched and i've seen door dash drivers go into neighborhoods nowhere near the restaurant nowhere near me and just hang out for 15 minutes while they have my food and then they just show up later and i was like did they just like swing by and talk to one of their friends because door dash will tell you if they're doing another order it'll say they're doing another order and then they'll be on their way shortly. It just says they're on their way and they're just hanging

out with buddies and it drives me wild. You know who does? I wonder if maybe they Sonic right? I wonder if maybe they I don't know if he is great because he can't do like a bulk order. There's no way he's not gonna do like a big order. No, because he's spinning around. That's what makes him so fast. He's going to spin and roll.

Have you not seen the Sonic movies? He doesn't roll. He doesn't have to do bulk. He's that fast. Oh, but it's not a movie, though. It's a video game. In the video games, he rolls. He doesn't walk around. He runs in the video games, too. He's not like a roly-poly where he can't just run up. He's so roly-poly.

Still, though, GLaDOS is going to be the best home security you can get. I mean, sure, she might play some jokes on you, but she's funny. You're going to be safe. What room is she going to be in? That's the best thing. How big is your room that you're going to keep GLaDOS in? She's more of an AI.

She's more of an AI. No, she's a physical entity. Well, then she'll be a physical entity in my living room. Until she's in a potato, but you know. It's got a very high 16 foot ceiling. Also, GLaDOS is very likely to just murder you as much as report somebody in your yard.

That's only if she goes wrong. Sonic is going to get you your food hot, fresh, and with a smile. It's very true. I think GLaDOS is a great pick as head of security, but I like Sonic as Door Dasher more. I'm out out giving it to sonic yeah all right round two match two bowser as insert whatever title you prefer here project

manager if you want to win paul bowser as project manager versus trevor phillips as your in his underwear, dirty, unwashed, uh, waffle house, abusive chef. I don't even have an argument here because I don't know how Bowser is an overseer made it past Kim Kisaragi as a lawyer, which was like probably my pick to go all the way to the end. I don't even have an argument. Look, here's the thing.

We said with your office building full of fire, Paul, the title of this draft is best characters to hire trevor is not a best character to hire bowser in this case is because of his skill set trevor has no skill set in regards to being a chef or running a waffle house he would be a terrible person to hire. No, but you forget one thing. You forget one thing. Best character to hire. Look at the candidate pool for Waffle House chef.

He might be the best you can hire. I've done it. That's a good point, Michael. Paul was running away with this. And then you did. No Waffle House chef is anywhere near trevor phillips that's preposterous steven i'm gonna give it to paul i i hate you all michael i want to give you bonus points because that is why i voted for that last round it is a very clever tie-in but i do kind of

get what paul's saying with bowser i do think Bowser would get it done. He might smash you flat. And don't worry, I'm going to use the lava argument in the final round for sure. Should have used it in the last round against Kim Kitsuragi. Kim Kitsuragi, that's a hard name anyways, right? It is. Yeah. All right. I'm out of this draft.

You guys keep going. I'm just going to sit here and pick based on vindication and anger. Oh, Michael's been eliminated. I'm sorry, Michael. Two words, but I can't say it on the show. I'll lend you Link, and so you can argue for Link. No, I don't want Link. No.

I'm not going to out you. Wait, what? It's a charity case. You knocked out my number one for Bowser. I mean, it's not going to make it. It was a good pick. I even gave you two famous lawyers. Two.

Michael, you're going to be able to get revenge next round, okay? No, I'll buy into Paul's psychological tempting. All right, here we go. Round two, final matchup. Harry Dubois as internal affairs director slash company events coordinator versus Link as landscaper can we get rid of harry dubois so paul doesn't have to say it every single time how dare you sir i feel like if a character gets out of this that i feel like i've won with kim katsuragi but that's not how yeah yeah i just arguments arguments i mean i like i going to go back to the fact that I'm hiring the proper person for the proper job.

Link is going to show up on time with a smile, dressed well, do a phenomenal job landscaping. You might even find some rupees in your yard. So, you know, it's like you make money off of his services at that point. There is a good chance. He's going to keep the rupees, though. Well, you don't know that. Link of his services at that point. There is a good chance. He's going to keep the rupees. Well, you don't know that. Link's an honest guy, man. He is not a criminal. He does not steal. If the rupees are in your yard, I feel like Link would be like, hey, I found this while I was chopping this patch of grass. He's going to actually show up and do a good job.

Link is the person that I would actually want to hire. Harry Dubois, while creative, I would never hire to work at my company. Steve Jobs, right? Genius, little bit of a wacko. Harry Dubois,

same thing. You want the crazy geniuses running your company with you because they get those moments of inspiration. They're going gonna rise you to another level uh can link be a landscaper sure you know he's gonna swing a sword at some bushes and they're gonna fall over but harry is gonna solve every case and michael do you really want to reward the main character of breath of the wild which you think is wildly over you totally no you took he took he took my decision right out of my mouth, actually. I was going to say, let's just cut this

part out because it was actually clever. Now I want to vote against Paul for taking my argument. Let's say just like Breath of the Wild being overrated, Blake is an overrated landscaper. I'm going with Harry DeBock because he's brilliant. Oh, man. Harry. Harry. Harry. Oh, man.

Guys, how did I end up with two in the finals? I even... I've still got Bowser and Harry in this. Bowser's not making it because I hate him for knocking out Kim. And Trevor. He knocked out Bowser? Come on. Two really good, really good

clever ideas. Bowser's gonna make buildings. Get a hot streak. Bowser's going to make buildings. So are you just eliminating Bowser instantly, Michael? From the finals? Well, Sonic is way better. Yeah. And Harry's better than Bowser. All right.

So Bowser, we will say, is the bronze winner. We can just eliminate him here. Oh, you shouldn't have even gotten that far. He was my fourth round pick. It's pretty rare to have a fourth rounder make it to the finals. Hey, man, that just goes to show that any pick can make it far. It's true. All right, so Bowser is our bronze medal winner.

And now in the finals, Sonic as Door Dasher versus Harry Dubois as Internal Affairs Director slash Company Events Coordinator. Josh, name one famous Door Dash driver. Sonic. He's the best there is i can't stop all right i'm gonna i'm gonna head this off right now harry dubois is a creative pick genius you did attractive man you did well in finding a a well known character that is fleshed out with personality and tried to somehow fit a round peg into a square hole. And I commend you for that, Paul. But Harry, in the nature of this draft, is a terrible choice for any company to hire. He's going to do drugs, alcohol, he's going to be a bad influence. And while he may be a good detective, if you have played Disco Elysium, you see the

wake of just chaos that he leaves in his wake. And no rightful-minded person would want that in their company. Sonic, on the other hand, was made for being a door dasher. It is literally what he does best. He is a pleasant character. He is reliable. He is fast. He cares about things and people. He's going to do the job far superior than anything else could. Whereas Harry Dubois is going to

be terrible. Counter-argument. Alright. Sonic is a teenager. He's not going to stick around very long. Teens don't stick in jobs long term. Harry's going to die. They like to hop around. He's going to have a heart attack.

Harry has worked for his police department for 20 years. He was a double E-freighter lieutenant. He dies in the first three minutes of Disco Elysium. False. I passed that check, Josh. He grabbed his tie. No problem. Harry is more loyal. He has proven

to stay long-term in a job. If you're going to hire someone, the worst thing that you can do is hire someone that you have to train and then they quit on you and now you have to replace them. It's wasted money.

You don't have to train Sonic. Harry is going to stick around long term. It's his natural ability. Harry will work for you until he dies. Yes, which is like three minutes. Or 15 years. We don't know. I think he's only supposed to be like 50 years old.

He's got some mileage left. I don't know about that. Let's see. Do I vote with Paul, who I like right now or josh who i don't this is gonna be hard like michael's integrity is actually gonna come through despite everything else on this and he's going to give it to who should actually win this draft don't you try to butter me up i'm just saying michael this is this is tough but man because i love harry as internal affairs i love which is why you're gonna vote for him but i think that overall with just the spirit of like maybe it's just because i'm hungry right now because i am kind of hungry how nice would it be if you could get your food within three minutes? Who really, really impacts their industry the most?

Sonic is a DoorDash driver. It's incredible. It's perfect. I don't want to do it, but I'm going with Sonic. One last counter-argument. No, he's not. The decision is mine. Does DoorDash hire DoorDashers?

I think it's more anyone can be an independent contractor. I don't know that they're really hiring. What a stretch. Listen to Paul. Look who's the lawyer now. Finding the loopholes. Oh, man. Well, hey, guys. Go follow us at MultiplayerPodAnywhere and argue with us as much as you want

because I'm still arguing with both Paul and Josh in my head. Possibly myself as well. Alright, so we're giving this to Sonic. Yeah. You got to admit, that's the best, the best choice.

It's so perfect. It really is perfect. I hate it because I, I don't want to reward this one over here. You are a man. You are a man of integrity. Michael. If,

if this was best characters to hire in the late 80s like during wolf of wall street times would harry have had a better chance oh no trevor phillips's waffle house yeah where's the creativity bonus there i gave it to you he made it to the second round trevor made it to the final six yeah i'm just saying i have an incident right now where i have a lawyer and i would love to have kim kitsuragi as my lawyer period and i've got a good one i love claptrap as a character so to put trevor phillips's waffle house chef over claptrap was a nod to your creativity thank you michael or was it an unknot to paul's in creativity i mean paul really missed the mark with claptrap on that one too so how dare you both all right well we've got another draft in the books

finally josh wins one after his long long cold streak we will crown sonic as the winner josh you get to rule the day yes and uh michael and i will go home in tears and i think this one is just about all wrapped up. So, you know, we appreciate everyone for listening. As a reminder, please check out our Patreon page at MultiplayerSquad.com. Michael already gave you the social handle at MultiplayerPod. You can find us on TikTok, Twitter, and Instagram. And then we will be back with a Twig episode where we cover This Week in Gaming on Thursday.

We hope you guys will all join us then, and we will see you on Thursday. Happy gaming, everybody. Do you guys know that my odds of winning these tournaments is always much better. Statistically, if I make it to the final round than what I don't,

that might be true. That might be true. That's that's some, that's some solid math right there, Mike. I'll see you guys. I'll miss you until I see you again. All right.

See you, everybody.