Video Gamers Podcast - [Bonus Round] You Don’t Turn Your Back on Family - Gaming Podcast

Episode Date: August 26, 2024

The Video Gamers Podcast is back with another Bonus Round, and gaming hosts Paul, Josh and Ryan are bringing you another can’t miss episode. It’s family time. That’s right, we’re constructing a video game family from some of the most iconic gaming characters and then seeing which family will reign supreme in a series of questions and topics. It’s another hilarious and awesome gaming filled episode! Thanks to our LEGENDARY Supporter: Ole Jake (and to everyone who supports this podcast) Connect with the show: Support us on Patreon: patreon.com/videogamerspod Join our Gaming Discord: https://discord.gg/Dsx2rgEEbz Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/videogamerspod/  Follow us on Twitter: https://twitter.com/VideoGamersPod  Subscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCU12YOMnAQwqFZEdfXv9c3Q   Visit us on the web: https://videogamerspod.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Visit BetterHelp.com today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P.com. Hello, fellow gamers. Welcome to this bonus round episode of the Video Gamers Podcast. We are due for another draft in tournament, and today we are going to battle it out to see who can build the best family with gaming characters. And I know that that might not sound super exciting, but stick with it. I think it's going to be a lot of fun.

We also have a little bit of a twist to determine who is going to be the winner. I am your host, Paul. And joining me, I guess you can call him the dad of the podcast because he has the most wisdom and old man strength. It's Josh. Yeah, that's my favorite intro ever. Wait a minute, I'm wise and strong? I guess that means I'm really ugly though, huh? And old. And I don't know the facts.

Yeah, you gotta share the wealth, right? This the nicest thing paul has ever said to me there you go it's about time we've only been doing this four and a half years and then joining josh and me now i don't know josh should i introduce him as one of the kids of the podcast or the pet oh the pet for sure the All right. The pet of the podcast. Can you go get me this, Ryan? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Real quick. Here you go. Oh, it's Ryan. Yeah, thanks.

I'm not even going to say anything to that. Ryan's face was all happy, and then he was like, wait a minute. Oh, goodness. All right. It's been not too terribly long since we did our last draft, but this one we're doing a little bit different. So, Josh, we were brainstorming last night because we always do this at the last minute. Why don't you tell the people what exactly it is that we're doing today? All right.

So we love being stupid with video games. We have always said our show is kind of like the conversation you have with your friends about video games. And sometimes those conversations just veer into absurdity. We love doing these types of shows. We call them bonus rounds. On this one, we are going to craft a video game family individually. So we're actually going to compete with each other to where we have to draft a dad, a mom, two siblings, and a pet to build out a video game family. We are then going to vote on who has the best of each category. And then we have some random questions at the end or categories to see where those families

might fit. And then we'll give points for whoever's family fits those categories the best as well. So just like friends do, we love competing with each other. We love talking video games and we love just being stupid and silly at the same time. So you are going to get all of those on this episode. Certainly stupid. I will definitely give you that. Yeah. So to give the people a little bit of an idea of some of these like bonus questions that we're going to ask at the end, we have nine of them total. I think we'll just do all nine.

Like, why not? We've got, I won't read all of them, but we got some stuff here like which family would survive the longest in a zombie apocalypse. And we also have something like, you know, which family would you want to be your neighbors? So we're going to go ahead. We're going to do this. We'll tally up the points points see who puts together the best gaming family now uh ryan when you like went together and put together your list did you struggle with any of these categories the the only one i really struggled with was the kids

um believe it or not there's like not a lot of amazing kids in video games most of the time they're kind of just whiny and annoying guys kind of put there so i struggled a little bit with that but i think i got a pretty solid list so far okay yeah i did not struggle too much with children i felt like finding a good gaming wife was a little bit tougher since generally you have more protagonist like male characters i felt like dad wasn't terribly hard the others are a little bit rougher and we did agree to play a little bit loose with the children's siblings they don't necessarily have to be like minors but if they are childlike or younger in general then they're going to qualify and also pet we're playing a little loose with that doesn't necessarily have

to be an animal maybe it is maybe it's more more of like a mascot companion that might be the pet of the family. Somebody that lives in your house with your family that is like part of the family. Exactly. Yeah. Guys, guys, I get it. I get it. You're messing with me. You don't have to keep calling me a pet, right? Dang it. Oh, and we need to mention one other rule. Our other wrinkle to at least keep this somewhat varied in what we pick. If anyone picks a character from a game or a gaming series, that game or series is off the charts. Gone. No longer available. I like this rule.

So if someone drafts Reinhardt from Overwatch, all of Overwatch is off the table. You cannot draft a wife or a child or anything from the rest of the game. It's just off the board at that point. We're making this hard on ourselves, boys. A little bit, a little bit. All right. So we did randomize our draft order and I got to pull it back up here. The order is going to go Josh, Ryan, and then me, and then it's going to go snake style. So it'll reverse every round. So basically Josh and I will be doing back-to-back picks this whole draft.

Ryan is the one in the middle. We'll go five rounds and then we'll match everything up against it. Sound good? Yeah. I'm pumped, man. This is going to be a fun one. There is a little bit of strategy here with like trying to block off a certain game and things like that. Yeah.

I think this is going to be interesting so josh you get the first pick here you got the 101 what are you going to go with okay i'm 100 going with this character because i want to block off this series and game from youtube because it it has a lot of very memorable characters in it. And I feel like some of these characters, especially with this family dynamic, would get picked. And I'm also kind of going where I'm trying to build out like an actual decent family. Sometimes I like to get a little crazy on these drafts, like drafting a headcrab for an actor.

Oh, we remember. I still hear about that to this day, so that has taught me to not be crazy because you'll never live it down. I am picking Freya from God of War as the mom of my family. So, number one, she makes a fantastic

mother. She is caring. Look what she did for Balder, man. Look how he turned out. Well, I'm just saying, she loved Balder more than anything. She took care of Atreus when he was sick. She's willing to help people. She cares for them. She nurses them back to health.

She's got that motherly instinct. And I also want to block you guys from being able to draft any God of War characters. So that's why she is my first pick overall fantastic mom by the way yeah i was trying to argue better far better mom than wife i will say that yeah that's fair that's fair yeah yeah i was i was gonna say i'm trying to argue against it but that's that was my number one under moms too so yeah not a bad pick at all totally understand it and uh yeah all right and that so no kratos no atreus ryan i know how badly you wanted to draft atreus to be the child in your family right gosh i just wanted to go on god business ryan just wants to

like ground atreus man well it wouldn't be a draft without a god of war appearance somewhere and i'm glad it's freya this go around i like it all right ryan you get the second overall pick here are you uh what are you gonna go with so i think i'm gonna go with something that also to kind of block out a series also really solid character for this category and then with some of the questions in mind i think it will fit equally as well um i'm gonna go with ellie from last of us for the kids that was top of my siblings list man yeah yeah it was for me too dang it you want to survive the apocalypse got one of the best and she's immune also just deleted joel from the dad's category there yep yeah no more joel i like this i like this style doing it this way yeah until we run out of pics and then i'm like i got nothing

guys uh well that's the end of the episode folks all right so we had a mom and we had a child go first wow okay all right i get my back-to-back picks here. Let's see here. Boy, I could have my pick of dads, but I feel like that's the easiest category. Now, Paul gets two picks here, which is dangerous, because it's... I do get two. Yeah. I think I am going to take a child, because we have such a limited list here. I also know it's a beloved series. Might be one of Josh's favorites I am going to

draft Siri from the Witcher 3 that's a good one man that was on my list too yeah I'm a little surprised we had three female characters to start out our draft I don't know if that's ever been the case before so yeah I'm gonna go ahead and book

Siri from the Witcher. Removing Yennefer from the mom's category. Yep. No Yennefer, no Geralt. They are gone. And then I, you know what?

Even though Josh already took a wife, I'm going to go ahead. No, no, mom. I'm going to wait. Mom, not a wife.

Mom slash wife. Still have professor garlic on my list. So I'm going to wait. Mom. It's a mom, not a wife. Mom slash wife. I still have Professor Garlic on my list. You're going to have to battle Ryan for that one. I am going to go ahead and, you know what? I'm going to go on brand. I don't care. Best dad, Ethan Mars. Oh, yeah.

You guys are crazy. Don't make us explain it again. I will never agree with this take. Would you cut your finger off for your kid? Yeah. That would make you a good dad. I wouldn't let my kids get kidnapped, Ryan. Oh, excuse me.

I wouldn't black out and wind up in an alley while I took my kid to the park. Okay. Not from a car accident, that's for sure. We're going to mark it down. Ethan Mars, the man who would literally do anything. I would even argue more than what Freya would do for her children. Freya was willing to fight Kratos, but I don't know that she was willing to you know uh drink poison and and all these other things so i've got ethan here as the dad siri as the first child and now we are coming

back to ryan okay so man these series keep falling off pretty quick uh i know no more heavy rain picks right i know right I was totally going to pick I was going to say you don't want Scott for the Oregon Oh Scott For the dad I am going to do I'm going to do the mom

category here I'm going to pick someone who's loving, kind, caring compassionate there for everybody willing to help in a expert archer i'm going with aloy okay as soon as you said archer i knew that's where we were yeah i figured that'd give it away how old is aloy that's my question please be 18 please be early 20s i i feel like she would be early 20s, but let's see what the... Uh-oh. 2021?

She's 18 years old at the beginning of the first game, Ryan. There you go. You're getting awfully close, dude. Awfully close. All right. Not a pervert, but pervert adjacent. Awkward. Very fast, thankfully.

All right. So Aloy, huh? right all right aloy from the horizon games taking josh off my dad's list oh man okay this one is tough because i feel like the sibling category is the hardest category but i also feel like i have two that i do not think I'm in danger of losing on that one. I do feel like I need to pick a dad here. And I only have four on my dad list that are left. And, you know, we talked about, we actually had a long time ago, a best gaming dad's episode. And Paul, do you remember who the winner of that episode was? The winner was Reinhardt. That's who I'm taking! Maybe I'm taking Reinhardt!

If he won one of these, he can win a second one! Oh, geez. Also removing all of the Overwatch cast, because I don't want you guys to get Mercy or Ana in the Mom category either, because those were two very strong picks in that category, which are now off the table. So I did have Mercy on my short list for that.

So figure. Yep. Good defensive pick there. No Winston as pet. So Josh, you went with the, uh, the two parents here.

First, we got Reinhardt and Freya for you. I did. I, I, I'm really counting on my siblings not being characters that are in mind for you guys.

Because if they are, I'm in real trouble because that list is a lot smaller. Very nice. And yeah, you still get your second pick here, Josh. Oh, I get back to Bax. Oh, well, I'm taking one of the siblings then, of course. Oh, or do I go with the pet no one's taking a pet yet there's one pet that is easily above all the others

is there yeah there is dang it i don't i don't know sounds like a value pick you should go that way then no i'm gonna i'm gonna hedge my bet here. I am going to go with Zelda as the sibling and also block out any characters from that series as well. Dang it. Zelda. It's a little bit of a boring pick, I got to say. Isn't it for a sibling? I mean, it's Zelda, dude.

You know how much cool stuff she can do? She's got her own game now. She can she's good she's got her own game now she can get kidnapped she's got her own game finally what are you gonna pick next princess peach that's okay i got i got a good pick for sibling i have to lock this up man i went crazy last time i'm playing a win this time i feel like it's been what like 38 years or something since the first zelda game and now she finally has her first one I don't know we'll see all right Ryan coming back to you so you've already got your mom and one child where are you going next oh man so I think I think I'm pretty safe on the other categories I'm going to do a kid again. I am going to go with recency bias on hype level for a new game coming out.

And I'm going with Astro Bot. I looked it up. He was born November 15, 2013. Was he born as a sibling? Yeah, as a child. Okay. Judge's ruling. Does this count, Josh?

I mean, I think so. I like the creativity i it's like i could have seen going in the pet category as astrobot to have like the family robot but if you want that i get it yeah it's after if you play the astros playroom and stuff he's definitely much more like individual like a child and and kind of kid like then you know of just a robot right i got you so yeah going with astrobot what a dream team ellie and astrobot not bad not bad all right i get my back-to-back picks here let's see so far i've got my dad i've got one child i want to finish out the children

and go for my second one here i am going to go with i think this might be a little bit of a controversial pick this is a child who's not necessarily the most obedient but they have a lot of heart they have a lot of spirit i know a couple of the questions sometimes require a little bit of violence and this person fits the bill uh josh do you remember ever ever talking to any neighborhood children over the fence in any uh i'm taking kuno baby that's a great pick man wow what a dysfunctional family you got paul kuno's gonna be a terror oh yeah we're going uh kuno from disco elysium what a fantastic game i hate that kid. What a crazy kid, man.

Kuno's got a couple screws loose, but that's okay. I'm going to stick with it anyway. Ooh, Kuno and Ethan. I've got some wild cards in my family. He's going to win the most likely to wind up in jail category. The mental illness is running thick in my family. He's going to pass out and end up somewhere else, and Kuno's going to run wild for like a week oh my goodness this is gonna be wild all right and

then i have another pick now none of us have taken a pet yet and i feel like there are a couple of decent ones i did think about trying to take mamir as a pet i have him on my pet list did you really i do yeah we think the same paul because i was like he's just the family like dude that's hanging out kuno go feed mamir you know you're gonna have to like take care of him so i felt like he might qualify uh i am going to go with and i know that once upon a time josh said that this was not a video game which is bananas but i am taking pikachu from the pokemon games oh good pick that was on mine that'd be a good house defender yeah so not all the pets are great at like fighting or survival so i feel like pikachu might give me a couple points there

also your power bill will be much less that That's true. That's true. Yeah. Especially in Arizona. In Arizona in the summertime, our electric bills get real high. Oh, very nice. I'll get you in and be like, hey, go to work. Yep. Charge it up. Maybe I shouldn't go there, but I was going to say, where are you putting the plug, Josh?

No, no, no. The tail goes into the plug. Oh, the tail goes into the plug. Okay. Other way. Okay. Okay. Okay. I hear you. All right. you put in the plug josh no no no the tail goes into the plug oh the tail goes around okay other way okay okay okay i hear you all right with that being said oh my word let's let's go ahead and take our first break and then we'll come right back are you crushing your bills defeating your monthly payments sounds like you're at the top of your financial game rise to it with the bmo eclipse rise visa card the credit card that rewards your good financial habits earn points for paying your credit card bill in full and on time every month

level up from bill payer to reward slayer terms and conditions apply all right guys we are in round four Ryan, we are back to your pick. You've already got your mom and your two kids. All you have left is dad and pet. Where are you going here? Dad and pet. You probably should go pet because Josh and I already have dads. Yes.

Don't give him hints, Paul. Oh, I will because I already have my pet. This is true i i have two that i'm i'm uh struggling to decide between on the pets i'm gonna go with the popular vote on this one and i'm going yoshi oh yeah yoshi you can you have not only a good pet and companion, you got transportation, and you got eggs. You got some breakfast. Yoshi eggs. Doesn't he eat a lot of stuff?

Yeah. He just eats the... Cleanup service, multifunctional. Is he not pooping eggs everywhere? Yeah, you got a non-ending supply of eggs. This is a feature, Josh. Oh, this is a feature josh oh this is a feature not uh okay yeah exactly you know how much eggs are these days uh all right so i went ahead and marked yoshi just from mario brothers i think that's where we first saw yoshi so that's gonna take

off the table mario luigi i don't think anyone's drafting any of those characters anyway. Okay. So let's see, Josh, we are back to your last two picks. You got to give us one more child and a pet. Yeah, buddy, this is one. I'm so happy to get this pick. And I did not think that either one of you would have thought about this character as a sibling. But you know, Paul, you insulted my Zelda pick and called it boring. I did. And so I'm going to spice it up a little bit and go with somebody that is just a ton of fun, is overflowing with personality, loves playing Dungeons and Dragons, has a fantastic sense of humor. I am taking Tiny Tina as the other sibling to pair with Zelda.

I definitely thought about her along with Butt Stallion as the family pet, but I guess Butt Stallion would now be off the table. Butt Stallion is now off the table. So Tiny Tina as a child. She's childlike. I mean, I don't know how old she is, but she's definitely a child

in nature. Just keep her away from Ryan. She's not available, buddy. All right. And then I get one more, right? Sure. And Tiny Tina I'll mark as Borderlands slash Tiny Tina's Wonderlands. I think that qualifies for like that's all one.

It's the Borderlands series. So that would be my that's what it's from. So yeah. Okay. And then pets, man, I'm kind of torn on a couple of from. So, yeah. Okay. And then pets, man, I'm kind of torn on a couple of these. Like, I think the one I,

this one might require a ruling, but you know, we, we made a ruling on Astro bot, but you know, we talked about the pet doesn't necessarily have to be an animal. It could be somebody that maybe is just part of the family in the household, you know, is there when you the family in the household you know is

there when you come home maybe you know you get home late at night and you walk through the door and you say hey cortana turn the lights on i wasn't sure if this was going to be cortana or glados i figured you were going glados i thought he was going to go i was about to type in portal house man you know like that wouldn't make sense unless you have a giant mansion that you're gonna put her in, but Cortana, you know, she fits in the palm of your hand. What do you think, Ryan?

I'm gonna vote yes. I think it's fine. Yeah, we'll give it to him. He needs it. Sweet! He needs the help. He needs the help. No way, man. My team's awesome. Yeah, the Mental Institute. Cortana from Halo is going to round out Josh's team.

Very nice. All right, Ryan. Your last pick. You got to go with the dad. You left this category for last. I did. I did. You want to go when you're looking for a father figure.

You want a protector. Someone who's willing to give anything, do anything, much like your pick, Paul. Thank you. Yes. For their family and for their kids. What better than the person with the highest metachlorian count ever? I'm going with Darth Vader. Not Anakin Skywalker. with Darth Vader. Not Anakin Skywalker.

Literally Darth Vader. He didn't say Anakin. He just goes straight to the Sith Lord? Oh, of course. Because he would do anything for his family, that guy. If he could save Padme, he could save his kids. Dude, he was going to smoke the Emperor. He did.

He does smoke the emperor. I will say, technically, I will say, if Luke had joined him, he would have been like all about being that dad life. Oh, yeah.

Because he wanted to rule the galaxy with Luke. And then when Luke was like, no, he was like, no, I know. So I could see it, man, as long as you don't get on his bad side. And then he's just got to smack him.

Quit doing that stuff with your sister. Yeah, that's true. And of course, Vader is father in German, if memory serves. So yeah, pretty fitting. What more do you want? All right. Not bad. All right.

We are now to my last pick, and I have to fill out the mom role. And there's still a couple of good ones on the table. I'm kind of surprised i think boy i can't believe i'm going to say this but we're going to leave lara croft on the table here i am going to draft lady dimitrescu from resident evil i know that might be a little bit of a controversial pick a little bit like ryan's i am going to go for it anyway i think the one downside here is that ryan you never actually played resident evil village did you uh no i did not play village ryan's missing out

ryan would love lady demitrescu oh right if i know anything about ryan ryan would be like this this guy's great she's very tall She has a very big hat. Yes. She does smoke though, which is kind of gross. Yeah, that's true. Smokers are jokers. Just get her vaping Ryan. You can do it. Alright, so I'm sure that we all have a whole bunch of honorable mentions. We've

got some great ones that did not get drafted. So I'm curious to hear from you guys. What are a couple honorable mentions we should bring? I had to look this up, but I can't believe nobody took Nathan Drake or anybody from the Uncharted series because Sully could have been a dad. Nathan Drake's 38 years old, so definitely of age to be a dad. So that's a that's a popular one. I had Lee Everett from The Walking Dead. I mean, what a nice The Walking Dead. Okay.

I mean, what a nice, that dude would do anything. Let's see, for moms, I had Bayonetta. That'd be a fun mom. You know, you don't mess with her, man. Do you want to have the hot mom of the friend group? Yeah. Do you think so? Yeah.

Doesn't that like instantly make you popular? Not in the right way. I think you get teased a lot. like stifler's mom right i think that's exactly is that okay maybe not then all right well that's gonna take quiet off my list then um i did have nicks from hades that's a good mom okay she's the one that's like the mother to uh uh what's the dude's name? The Hades guy. Yeah. Anyway. Also get Cerberus as your family. Yeah. That would have been a good one too. Good protector.

Yeah. And then the only other, the other one for sibling that I was really looking at going with would be Elizabeth Booker from infinite. Bioshock. Yeah. That makes a lot of sense what about you ryan who'd you leave on the table um there's a few good ones i know uh on the kids i had found a couple later on but i just couldn't go with them but i had bart simpson i thought that okay that'd be that'd be a fun one and then love love those old Sega Genesis Simpsons games back in the day? Oh, 100%.

Yeah, those were... They were so fun. Yeah, those arcade stack ones where you could go around as Bart with the skateboard and Marge had the vacuum. Oh, especially, yeah. For the arcade game, I used to play... That was all my money back in the day. At that cabin that I stayed at in the fall or whatever, they had one of those and Simpsons

was on it and I just played that the whole time. Yeah. It was pretty fun. But I also had, for the kids, I had Tales. Tales would have been a good one. Tales is a good choice too. Ness. I had Diddy Kong on my list.

Yeah, Diddy Kong. Ness was on there. I even put, just getting real crazy, I put Kevin McAllister from Home Alone because there is a 1991 Home Alone game. There is. That's pretty old there. And then for dads, I had Big Daddy was on there.

That's a big-time protector there. And then also Big Boss from Metal Gear Solid series. Oh, okay. Yep. And also Big Boss from Metal Gear Solid series. Oh, okay. Yeah. So, so good of a man that he had kids with a surrogate mom and clones made of him. Very true. Yeah, the ones that I had on my list that you guys didn't mention, Commander Shepard as a dad, I think would make an awful lot of sense. Great leader. Probably would make a good disciplinarian but also well balanced uh also any of the dwarves

from deep rock galactic i think would make for a really fun dad that would have been good yeah i i had i had ethan and the dwarves and i put in parentheses i guess my driller those were my top two that i was hoping to take together stays together yes exactly and galerius from the forgotten city would be a fantastic dad as well he would do anything for his family and run around for wives i think we got most of them i thought taking the ballerina from atomic heart would be a little bit out there and a little bit of a funny pick my wives it's moms moms. Moms, moms, yes, yes. And Mercy from Overwatch. Does that change things for the ballerina for you? Nah, why not?

Samus would be a good mom. Samus, yep, yep. For children, Cuphead is very childlike for sure. That's an interesting pick. Yeah. Gets in trouble. You don't necessarily want your kids running around making a deal with the devil,

or Mugman, wasn't that his brother yeah either of them i think would make for decent kids juliana from death loop i know that she's an adult but she is colt's daughter it's true and you talk to her a lot throughout that game i thought that would maybe be a good pick fray from forespoken i thought about doing just to bug josh because he would have gone bananas yeah missed opportunity and spongebob from battle for bikini bottom definitely could be one of your kids oh yeah okay so that means we could have wound up with siblings that were spongebob and bart simpson that's very true how did we not i would have been how did nobody put that together i know would have made a lot of sense uh and then as far as pet goes the only ones i mean dog meat i felt

was like way too obvious yeah dog he was the one where i was like this is the easy like first pick but yeah a little cliche too could also go with the shiba inu from ryan's favorite puzzle game humanity yeah that's true spyro a spyro sure get your own dragon or uh chocobo from final fantasy oh that would be a good pet man you can ride them put them to work yeah sure oh bd1 from star wars fallen order could do that as well i also thought about cal as a child even though he's you know a little older yeah he's young he's young enough yeah i'd get that one yeah yeah nobody had the companion cube as the pet huh nope nope thought about it but too boring of a pick what a good babysitter though oh you know what else would have been a funny pick that i didn't think about

the baby from who's your daddy talk about chaos all right so let's go ahead and cap recap our teams here so ryan you are coming in with darth vader aloy ellie astrobot and yoshi gotta say aloy being the mom of ellie not not a huge age gap she made alia made some bad decisions when she was younger they they might have some some issues let's just say that josh you are coming in with reinhardt freya zelda i think that's your one glaring weakness tiny tina and cortana as your pet that's a little bit what a team what a family i sort of went a little more team chaos slash team evil question mark i've got ethan mars

lady dimitrescu siri kuno and pikachu false family it's so crazy wild oh my goodness you can make a lot of arguments either way, right? All right. Well, with all that being said, let's go ahead and just take our last break and then come back and determine our winner. All right, guys. Taking a look here, we're going to go through. We got to vote for who has the best dad, best mom, best child one, best child two, best pet. And then we'll go through our questions.

Let's just start out with dads. All right? You cannot vote for yourself. Are you guys going to vote for Darth Vader, Reinhardt, or Ethan Mars? Well, I can't vote for myself. Correct. And you guys know that I think that Ethan Mars is the worst dad. And normally I would say Darth Vader.

I'd be like, what? But then i think you're right man like i said we kind of talked it over if luke had joined him he would have been like a phenomenal dad ain't nobody messing with luke so i'm picking darth vader of yes oddly enough as weird as that sounds to me i think he would be a good dad, man. Last argument before, you know, final answer. Yeah, hit me. Yeah. Okay. He did choke out his wife carrying his two children.

It was. And that was a mistake, Paul. Yeah. People make mistakes. Yeah. That was a mistake. That was. It wasn't on purpose.

Yeah. Okay. We're going to call that a mistake, huh? Yeah. All right. So we have a mass murderer who blows up planets for fun as a negotiation tactic or ethan mars who would do anything for his children you're sticking with darth vader dang you make a good point man why'd you have to bring blowing

up planets that was more no that was more like a general i was gonna say isn't that more like emperor palpatine and vader just doing what he was told to do at that point? Because when it comes down to it, Vader, in the end, still grabs Emperor Palpatine and throws him down the pit. And he just works there. He just works there, man. It's true, man. You don't know. Can you imagine if you don't have health care nowadays?

He might have just been looking out for his family. He didn't want to lose them benefits. He's got his 401k in that company. He doesn't want to go. The Empire has good benefits, man. Trance for everything the company yeah i'm going you know what yeah last point all right so if if you and your wife died josh you would rather leave your children in your will to darth vader over ethan mars absolutely okay all right all right so so clearly they're gonna live on a death star i've seen ethan mars's apartment that place is a dump man all right so josh is voting darth vader i have to vote between darth vader and

reinhardt i'm voting reinhardt yeah for sure what smart he's the best gaming dad and he already is a great dad he is the father of brigitte they have great rapport reinhardt is a fantastic dad uh i gotta go i'm sorry ryan yeah he wants the best for people he aspires you to be your best so now we're trying to protect the world what do we do if i go ethan mars if you go ethan then it's just a three-way tie no one gets a point ethan mars nobody gets a point very nice i am all for it so we have no winner for the wait a minute well what else you're supposed to do there's three dads he could have picked the best dad and voted like he should have voted i ethan mars is a fantastic dad you can say whatever you want but right paul he's a good dad. He should be the winner. Is he a better dad than Reinhardt?

Listen, let's not get into details. Oh, okay. All right. So this is Reinhardt just throwing a wrench into the works here. I would never. No shade, Reinhardt. But Darth Vader is... I just have him by far behind the other two personally.

So, all right. Moving on to the moms. The fact that Paul is is gonna let this stand instead of saying reinhardt is the best dad also i did vote well i voted for reinhardt that's what i would vote for yourself but yeah exactly you're not voting for ethan over reinhardt what is this what is this i'm not gonna protest i going to protest, but these are some shenanigans going on right now. I drafted Ethan in our best dad's draft. So I have been consistent in believing he is a fantastic.

He lost on that one too. And in that draft, I did take a Joel from the last of us with my number one overall pick. You already blocked out the last of us. I would have gone with Joel. Joel, I think is the best gaming dad, but since last of us was off the table i had to go ethan so i stand by the human race to keep ellie alive yeah that's what he was willing to do gotta love it moving on to our moms

we've got aloy v freya v lady demitrescu interesting this is i'll throw out my vote first as much as i like aloy i think freya by nature is a better mom yeah yeah she's also of like mom age i didn't know she was that young okay the 18 year old mom is with with with a 17 year old daughter or, you know, whatever is, is throwing me off just a little bit. That's why I'm saying this, this category is weird.

I feel like there's only one right answer in this school category, man. MTV would scoop her up in a heartbeat for teen mom. Very true. Yeah. So I'll, I'll throw my vote to Freya. Uh,

what about you, Josh? Are you voting for a Loy or lady Dimitrescu this is how am i supposed to vote for either one of these man like can all right so here's a here's a real serious question can vampires birth children no or do you have to like bite them and then like they just become your children because she has daughters in resident evil village like four of them but i feel like she created those daughters by like biting them. She might have.

It doesn't matter. Maybe she's an adoptive mom. You know, she just has to serve. It does matter. I feel like, but also I don't want to vote for a little. It's like she should be under the sibling category,

not the mom category. Yeah. I mean, okay, let's be honest. Lady Demitrescu gets super ticked off when she finds out that you may or may not have killed her

daughters. I don't want to put any spoilers out there. Very true. I'm going to vote for Lady Demitrescu. Aloy is the nicer person by far. But my brain is having a hard time being like yeah she's a mom i guess i should have looked at how old she was yeah aloy would be the winner for like family like friend of the family i think she would win in that regard but as the actual mom

i don't know a little bit of a tough pick okay so we have one vote for freya one vote for lady dimitrescu ryan you get to be the uh the swing vote here i'm the decider uh take the vote i'm gonna have to go because it was also number one on my list uh i'm going for freya all right i had a feeling way to totally redeem yourself ryan i take back everything i thought about you in between these two picks so yeah she's she's the mom of moms even though she didn't do the best job she was willing to do anything fair enough so that is one point for josh moving on to child one now i assume we're gonna split the children and vote for each separate or should we vote for them as a combo let's do combo because we got to get to some questions too so yeah because this is like who which family has the best pair of

siblings that's why we went to siblings okay so we've got ellie and astrobot zelda who doesn't talk and tiny tina who won't shut up. And then we've got Siri and Kuno. Oh, my gosh. That's quite the pairing there. It really is. Boy. I'm going to... I'm...

Go ahead. I don't know. This one's tough. I'm trying to think. I could see benefits. I'll let one of you pick first this time. Go ahead, Ryan. Why don't you go first?

Oh, man. So, gosh, I hate Kuno, though. And you're going to have to hear Zelda talk. No, that's Link. Come on now, Zelda actually. Oh, that's true. Yeah. Zelda actually speaks.

Oh, she does speak. She does speak she does speak and she's got a soothing voice link you have to save me again she's not even gonna be around she's gonna get kidnapped and be gone that's fine every other week she'll be off to college yeah great exactly yeah what better sibling siri and kuno that you put those two together if they're loyal to one another they're gonna protect each other's backs stitch snitches get stitches ryan this is syrian kuno are gonna have each other's back there's no way he's gonna sell each other you know within like minutes you think so oh yeah man

he's gonna he's gonna try to like post up on siri or say something like nobody puts kudo in your corner and then siri's just gonna be like that little dash lightning dash thing that she does in winter and just yeah kuno's gonna be like sliced in half man oh cool then i won't have to deal with kuno so then i'm going my uh my hate of kuno is overtaken by my love for siri so i'm gonna go with siri and kuno okay i will also say ryan that if you ever go back to disco elysium kuno has a potential really fantastic redemption story also you can uh deputize them you can make them a cup which is hysterical so there's a lot that you can do with kuno he might win you over if you ever go back to it i was playing and we were

outside uh checking for you know clues or whatever and that's one of the last time i played because i was so annoyed with kuno nice all right so ryan is voting for my combo i am going to boy i don't know i love the le pick astrobot is a little off the wall how is that off the wall it's like he's a better pet no he's not it's a boy it's just like astro boy like he's a robot but he's a boy astrobot is like the same thing he runs he jumps he plays i'm gonna throw my vote to ellie and astrobot mostly because of ellie ellie is a really good pick i was gonna take that with my first pick i was gonna pick ellie and astrobot yeah too to be honest so that just kind of solidifies it so so that's one point for ryan

okay i can see them being like best friends dude because ellie's like she's nice you know what i mean like she wants to talk and you know have that companionship and stuff and it's like you can see her and astrobot bonding really well yeah they go out and i do think he would have made a better pet pick but since he's in that sibling category like i'll give it to you i can see them looking out for each other all right so ryan takes home the siblings best pet we've got yoshi v cortana v pikachu who the cortana seems very clear to me but i i want to hear i want to hear what you guys have to say i mean i would just argue that cortana could i mean you know we're in the age of ai people are starting to see like the advantage of like being able to just ask any question have ai drive your

car for you you know any of that stuff and Cortana is the most advanced AI that has existed. So that seems like a huge benefit to me to have that in your house, in your family. You know, she could be watching out for your kids. She's tracking them, you know, while Ellie and Astro Bot are off playing at the park. Cortana could be like, I'm keeping tabs on their position, you know, checking heart rates. Then she can't do anything.

Well, she could tell you. Soosh's argument is we already have ai why not have a slightly better no my argument is we are seeing the advantages of having ai so can you imagine if you actually had that like the super ai in your family available to your family only as like you know your family friend slash pet you know what we don't have dinosaurs and electric pokemon so electric pokemon that are gonna basically zap all the electronics in your house because the second pikachu gets excited now your computer and your graphics card that you just oh no that thing's fried man getting better performance no way your house increase that electrical problems yeah and then yoshi yoshi is gonna be pooping everywhere he's gonna can you house train yoshi of course you can uh can you are you just saying that ryan

because you want it to sound good you could totally house train yoshi and also yoshi don't move super fast so it's like you could ride Yoshi, but you could probably just run faster if you really wanted to. He can jump very high. Yeah, he can jump. You can jump. And if somebody bugs you,

you just eat them. A real world example of Yoshi. Oh, so you're just going to murder people now. Oh, yeah. I picked Vader as my dad. Okay, that's true. So which one are you voting for, Josh? Yoshi or Pikachu?

Oh my goodness pikachu's lowering your electric bill you know what dude i got my electric bill last month that's a lot i'm taking pikachu pikachu's also a very cute pet you're not gonna want to like call over yoshi and like i don't like yoshi i know that might be a hot take but i don't like yoshi in general i'm not a huge yoshi fan either i'm i'm kind of with you there yeah how rude take, but I don't like Yoshi in general. I'm not a huge Yoshi fan either. I'm kind of with you there. Sorry, buddy. Don't listen to Paul pandering. I don't like Yoshi either, Josh.

After the show, Paul's going to be like, dude, Yoshi's great. I only said that to get you to vote for me. I don't pander. I don't care who wins these drafts. There's no stakes. Well, I'll tell you what. I got my power bill recently as well. And the amount of money that these kids cost me by leaving lights on and doors open and stuff and windows.

I wouldn't have to worry about that anymore. Just get a big old battery and have Pikachu charge it up once a week. I'm going Pikachu. Yeah. All right. So I get a point there for Pikachu. And so my vote doesn't matter, but I would have voted for Yoshi over Cortana only, only because only because I feel like it better fits the definition of a

pet. Cortana is a, you know, a clever twist on it, but it's a twist too far. Are you saying you would have voted for dog meat then, Paul? I might've.

I might've. I saw a look at Paul's face. He's like heck no i ain't voting if it was a chocobo butt stallion mamir i'd vote for all of those over yoshi for sure cortana would have been better mom in the mom category she can't be a mom she's not a physical being she could she's an ai she could design a uh a bot and then just do it that way yeah you've seen uh i know you hated the movie josh but blade runner 2049 that was that's like an ai in a physical form too there you go yeah that as well yes good old ex machina should we have another pronunciation argument on this you're probably

right it probably is machina but you know it is what a great movie by the way it was good love that one all right so we got to move on to our questions here. This won't take very long. Which family would win in a street fight? So give me the trophy now. What? I got Freya, Reinhardt. Dude.

Zelda. She's a battler. It's definitely Josh. Josh is winning with Reinhardt and Freya alone. Josh has a god uh ryan had or a goddess i guess would be more more proper ryan i love your team as a whole but like aloy ellie astrobot and yoshi they're not gonna help you at all you've got just darth vader against the rest that's all i think they're gonna lose and my team's not winning in a street fight i

don't have the uh you guys kind of capitalized on the magic slash godhood powers my only one like that is pikachu so i'm i know i'm not winning this one i'm gonna vote for josh what about you guys yeah i'm gonna vote for josh too i'm gonna vote for me wait are we allowed to vote for me. Wait, are we allowed to vote for ourselves now? Honor system, sure. Why not? All right. Which family would put on the best... I vote for me. Oh, sorry.

Which family would put on the best podcast? Oh, man. Ooh. Hmm. Okay. Ellie would be a good talker, as Aloy, I think, would have some stories to tell. And Ellie is funny. And Aloellie is funny very much tiny Tina would be hilarious to listen that would be that'd be a pretty good one tiny Tina's gonna be

great so I think my team would have the best subject matter but I don't know that I've got the charisma of like podcast hosting you know I think would be funny to listen to for a little bit because I loved his segments in the game. Yeah. But I think after a while you just get real annoying real quick. Darth Vader. He's not a speaker. He's a doer. Yeah. Yoshi.

Yeah, but that smooth crispy voice. I mean it is a good voice but also all the heavy breathing. Hey guys. On this podcast I mean, it is a good voice, but also all the heavy breathing. All right. The breathing on this podcast. I want to tell you about my pick. I think I want to go with my own tea. What Star Wars are you watching?

I have never heard Darth Vader impersonation like that, but Josh has won me over. The Darth Vader breathing on the pod is no good. Oh. Ryan doesn't want to admit it, but he knows. I can see the look on his face. I think he'd be good. Vader would be good on a podcast.

He's got the family drama. I'll give you that. Yeah, he's got a lot to say. I think Tiny Tina, legitimately, I know I'm biased, but Tiny Tina, I think, would clinch this one. That's the only one you got, but I think it's good enough to take it home. Yeah.

We'll give that one to Josh, and then we just got to move on. Which family is most likely to wind up on Dateline? That's Paul's family. Paul's family. That's an easy one. That's the only question i'm gonna win it is that one oh my goodness between ethan lady dimitrescu and kuno any one of those three you

could picture like a dateline episode all right we'll give that one to me fair enough moving on which family would win in a game of backyard football? I think this is where Darth Vader takes you over to the end zone. He needs speed. He's picking everything. Every throw is an interception. Now, he's not fast, though. That's the one thing. Vader always walks.

You never see Vader run. Sure. He's going to be the quarterback. And you can use the's the force guide the football you're not missing any field goals he's gonna be your kicker aloy is very agile this is true i think that's right like archery this is ryan's team vader and aloy combined would be yeah as much like reinhardt freya they're great picks but i don't see them playing not in football freya is not gonna want to play no football man I could see Ellie playing football Astro Bot this is Ryan's

team for sure yeah it's right yes all right next one here which family would survive the longest in a zombie apocalypse okay well Ellie knows how to do that. Yeah, Ellie's done it. Yoshi is zombie meat, so he's out. I feel like Reinhardt is fully armored. Freya doesn't have to worry about zombies, because she's a goddess. Cortana doesn't have to worry about zombies, because she's AI. Because she's not real.

Tiny Tina's probably getting eaten pretty quick, but she's kind of scrappy, isn't she? Tiny Tina? Yeah, I mean, she's scrappy, isn't she? Tiny Tina? Yeah, I mean, she's scrappy. She'd be like a good scavenger. I do feel like, okay, Ethan Mars is just laying down and saying, thank goodness I can get out of this. Oh, I'm not winning.

Lady Demetrescu. I mean, vampires beat zombies 10 out of 10 times. Yeah, and Ciri. Ciri would beat all the zombies. Kuno would just talk a bunch of smack and then get eaten. Yeah. Pikachu, I feel like electricity is not going to hurt a zombie. So that's like a weakness right there.

You don't think so? No. They're dead. I mean, maybe paralyze them a little bit, but you're not like, they're already dead. Running to the head, I think might fry the brain enough. A thunderbolt? Just smoke their bones? I think this comes down to Vader and Ellie and maybe

Aloy for Ryan and Reinhardt, Freya and Cortana for me? Is it survive? Astro Bot's pretty solid too. It's Ryan's. Okay, yeah. I forgot about Astro Bot. He can't get infected. And he can jump and laser enemies underneath him and stuff.

Very true. Yeah, and they're not going to care about Astro Bot. All right, which family is most likely to win Family Feud? All right, you got to be smart on this one. Which family's the smartest? Yeah. Cortana's really pulling you up in this one. I was going to say, I feel like that alone is winning this one for me.

Freya's a god. She has a lot of knowledge, especially herbology and that kind of stuff. She also lives in a land with 14 people. I don't know if she's going to have the pulse on the population. Ethan's kind of dumb, so he ain't really doing much. Siri, she's a fighter. She's not a scholar. Kuno, dumb as a brick.

Pikachu. Doesn't even talk, says Pikachu. Can't say more than one word. So Paul's team is out. Astro Bot, I don't know. Astro Bot's not smarter than Cortana. No, I think Astro Bot's, like I was saying, more kind of kid-like. I don't think it's like AI territory like Cortana.

I feel like on this one, Cortana and Freya would carry my team. Yeah, that's fair. I think it's Josh. Yeah. All right. Three questions left. Which family is the best looking? Vader's really hurting you now.

Dang it. I, dang it. I mean, Anakin Yoshi. I don't think it's doing you any favors. I don't see that one being Ryan. No, Josh's team, I guess, is all right. It's pretty good. I think my team's all right. I don't know that any of us have like between Paul and me.

Which are we going like Halo three Cortana? Are we going like Halo Infinite Cortana? Which Cortana are we going like halo three cortana or are we going like halo infinite cortana which we're going with doesn't matter i know siri and lady dimitrescu yeah that's that's gonna clinch it for you hey look at me i didn't think i'd win two questions i'll take it all right which family would be most likely to have their own reality show that's paul's that's paul's yeah people don't want to watch no starring people they want that's paul's that's paul's yeah people don't want to watch no starring on bravo they want that they want that drama that crazy the backstabbing yeah can you imagine who knows at it again all right wow look at this i i didn't think i'd be in the

running oh okay well i'm certainly not winning the last question who which family would you want to be your neighbors oh boy i think we're back to Josh on this one. That's one. Josh doesn't have any evil. Like, Ryan's got Vader. I don't think I want Vader as my next-door neighbor. He turns good. I don't want Yoshi either, man.

I already expressed my disdain for Yoshi. I don't care about Yoshi. Vader's the one I'm a little worried about. Vader would be... He'd take people's neighbors' trash out and stuff for them. I will say say i will say this is the force he could just take my team is clearly the winner here but i could make some arguments where it's like if vader's just domesticated next door neighbor vader but still has use of the force and stuff he's like you know like i took out your trash yesterday yeah that was almost bane that was kind of that was more

bane than vader i started off and i was like oh cool ryan's gonna do a really good impression i don't have a cup i need it i need a cup yeah i think i'm voting for josh yeah yeah i'll vote for josh too reinhardt freya zelda tiny tina cortana there's zero like issues there there's potential issue with vader i like the rest of your family ryan clearly mine's not going to win you're not going to want to live next door to a vampire a guy who blacks out and a murderous child so yeah i'm gonna go ahead and say josh yeah you guys ethan would be over every other day have you seen my kid all right so we're gonna get to josh yep so i think josh won let's see one two three four five points for josh four for me and three for ryan i'm a little surprised i thought

i thought ryan's team was a little better than mine but you really sucked ryan yeah good yeah wow man you guys don't like Vader. That's what happened. Vader and Yoshi, I think, were the two that Judge and I bristled against a little bit. All right. Well, Josh wins. He did have the number one overall pick. So, you know, not terribly unexpected. I had to get those God of War characters out of there because Kratos as a dad would have

been a good pick as a dad. Atreus is one of the siblings or Agraboda. If you wanted a non annoying one, it was another pick for a sibling that would have been a good one. Mimir as the pet would have been a great pick. So family feud for sure. Oh yeah. He'd be good.

Oh, you're right. Yeah. Mimir would have cleaned up. All right. Well, I think that wraps up everything here for this bonus round if you guys enjoy our show and you like what we do we do rely on listener support

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All right, see ya, everybody.