Video Gamers Podcast - Can Evil Clock In? Villain Draft – Gaming Podcast

Episode Date: July 21, 2026

Gaming hosts Josh, Ryan and Ace are putting their favorite villains to the ultimate test in a hilarious gaming blind draft! Every pick is thrown into a randomly selected job or ridiculous situation, forcing these iconic video games bad guys to prove whether they’d thrive or completely fall apart. From Yoga Studios to retirement homes and everything in between, it’s pure chaos, plenty of laughs, and some surprisingly perfect fits. If you love video games, wild debates, and unforgettable moments, this is one gaming episode of the Video Gamers Podcast you won’t want to miss!   Thanks to our MYTHIC Supporters: Redletter, Disratory, Ol’ Jake, Gaius, Jigglepuf, Phelps and NorwegianGreaser, Dettmarp and NightWizard63   Thanks to our Legendary Supporters: HypnoticPyro, PeopleWonder, Bobby S.   Connect with the show: Support us on Patreon: ⁠patreon.com/videogamerspod⁠ Join our Gaming Community: https://discord.gg/h2cHKAvSmu Follow us on Instagram:⁠ https://www.instagram.com/videogamerspod/⁠  Follow us on X:⁠ https://twitter.com/VideoGamersPod⁠  Subscribe to us on YouTube:⁠ ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@VideoGamersPod?sub_confirmation=1⁠    Visit us on the web:⁠https://videogamerspod.com/⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Hulu original series Furious is coming to Disney Plus, starring Emmy Rossum. Furious follows FBI agent Alice Black on the hunt for a mysterious and calculating serial killer. Both walk their own paths toward justice, and as their lives start to intertwine, the line between right and wrong begins to blur. Don't miss the three-episode premiere of the Hulu original series Furious on July 27th, only on Hulu on Disney Plus. This episode is brought to you by Accenture. When your advertising operations fall out of sync, everything else follows.

Spotify and Accenture are working together to reinvent the rhythm of ad sales, using automation, analytics, and smarter workflows to simplify campaign delivery and access better data across the business. The result? Less time spent on operations, more time connecting brands with the moments and fandoms that matter most. Learn more at Accenture.com slash Spotify. Oh, fellow gamers and welcome to the video gamers podcast. A good villain can make both a movie and a video game. From world domination to simply wanting riches, their motives may differ, but video game villains are important. Especially when you want to do a blind draft and put them into hilarious situations they may be ill-equipped for.

Well, on this episode, we're doing just that. drafting a team of villains and then trying to have them handle goofy scenarios and situations to see how they do. Before we get started, some introductions are in order. I am your host Josh and joining me, he's the true villain of the podcast, rage baiting the internet, promising wish lists and showing up late to recordings. It's Ryan. Ace, he said you. Oh, no, no. Ace?

No, oh me, oh me. Oh, me. Oh, whoops. Oh, okay. The whole, it's Ryan part wasn't a giveaway. And not paying attention to intros. It's Ryan. I just want to take the time to apologize for absolutely nothing.

I am who I am. Do that. We do. We do. We do. And joining us. He's the unassuming sidekick that is secretly. planning his masterful plan to take over the world

and make indie games required for everyone. It's ace. I feel like I'm secretly like the sidekick who's trying to kill the hero and take his place. Watch out, Ryan. Are you saying Ryan's the head of the podcast now? Wait, I'm the hero. I am the hero. He is the hero.

I am the hero. I thought this was just going in like an order of hierarchy. That's what I thought. I guess he was going to see really kill a hero. climbing the corporate ladder, I would have to kill you first. I'm the final boss. Like, Ryan's like the next to last boss. I guess I'd have to catch a bald beard.

One day. Oh, barb. Okay. All right. You know what? All right. This is what we're doing. We're putting it.

Okay. All right. We're giving away some pre-show content. No, we're giving away because I want, I think this is the dumbest name ever. And it's not the fact that it's bald. It's just as a dumb pirate. I think it's great pirate name. Okay.

So we were talking about if we were going to be a pirate, right? And then A said, Josh, what would your pirate name be? I could not come up with a name because it's very important to have a really cool, awesome name. And then Ryan and A's came up with bald beard the pirate because guess what? I'm bald. And you have a beard. And it's like, and I have a big. And I'm like, and then they thought this was the most hilarious thing ever to call me bald beard.

And I'm like, this name sucks. It's so good. sucks. It's the dumbest name. I don't like it because it's good. But how can you not? So listeners, we leave us a comment. You know, we see every comment you leave. Is Bald Beard a good pirate name or a dumb pirate name? It's not, that's all we, that's all we're trying to just remember Josh is bald. And he has a beard. And he has a beer. Does it make it a good name?

Like, all right. Anyway, we'll let the listeners. are so stupid. This is the dumbest thing I have ever heard on this show. And the fact that you both think this is the most hilarious thing you've ever heard. It's pretty good. It's pretty good. If it was a good name, I would admit it's a great name. This is the dumbest name.

Prove him wrong, listeners. Prove him wrong. Fill that chat and Spotify with laughing emojis. I will. I will. I'll admit I was wrong. He'll shave his hair. You know what?

I'll shave my head for this podcast if the listeners think that bald beard is a good pirate name. Fair enough. Anyway. Anyways. Goodness gracious. What were we doing?

Talk about villains. Like you guys are like the dumb villains. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. All right. So listen,

we have a very fun, honestly, Stupid, stupid episode. But if you've been a listener for a while, you know to expect these from us. Because listen, this is what gamers do. We'd like to have fun. You come up with dumb situations. You come up with dumb scenarios.

You talk about video game characters and could they do this? Could they do that? And we have done a lot of these over the years because they're just a good time, man. You know, and it's nonsensical. It's dumb. Kind of like Bald Beard being a name for a pirate. But you know what? It's fun nonetheless.

and that's why we like doing it. So we hope you want to have fun with us. Today's episode, we're doing what we talked about. We are each going to draft a team of four villains. And then we have a whole bunch of random scenarios that we have come up with. I have a random number generator that is going to pick one of these scenarios. And then we have to plug in one of our picks into that scenario. So this is a blind draft.

We do not know what situation these villains are going to be put in until we get to them. And so we don't know how this is going to go. We have no idea where this is going. Ryan just gave me his list, so I am absolutely going to steal some of those. You can't steal when I said use any you want. Yeah, that's fair.

All right. Well, I'm not sharing my list, so there you go. All right, before we get to that, guys, we promised on a recent episode that if we got five new signs. You. You promised. Well, I did. But we will hold up our end of the bargain.

It may not have been my best idea ever. But I promised for all of us without talking to any of you that if we got five new signups that we would let one of us get hijacked in the community could pick a game for one of us to play. Because our listeners are smart, they jumped all over that. And they said, okay, done. well we got five we're actually up to nine as of the recording of this episode and the community said if we get to 15 or 10 can we hijack a host for each five and then we said yes because we're dumb and we didn't think about that very well I didn't think about it at all and so we are up to nine new signups and so that's where we're at now we have some people to thank because of this and so here we go so a shout out to to Parker Robinette for signing up for rare status. Parker actually signed up a while back, but we just haven't had a chance to get to thanking people.

So Parker, thank you so much for supporting the show. Thank you very much. Ian, who I chatted with this morning because his name is unpronounceable on our Discord server, said, Hey, bro,

you can just call me Ian. And I said, I got you. Thank you, because otherwise I'd sound like an idiot trying to pronounce next name. Ian, so Ian,

thank you for, for sign enough for rare status there. We got Grant, dude. Grant, who has been in our community for a very long time. Grant is a game dev that is working on a game, has been an awesome member of our community, comes in with insight on game development from time to time. We love having you around, Grant.

We'd like to see more of you, but we know you're busy. But Grant answered the call. It's like, oh, yeah, let's make these boys play something. Signed up for rare status as well. Ben Corvus, who we have seen leaving comments on the show, recently signed up for Rare Status, recently joined the Discord server to hang out with the community. So Ben Corvus, thank you for signing up,

thank you, Ben, brother. Blaine, signing up for Rare Status as well. Blaine, I don't know your Discord handle, so if you are a member of the community, let us know what your Discord handle is so we know who you are over there. Sometimes it's tough because when they sign up, but then that doesn't show their Discord name,

then we're like, who are you? Are you in the community? Are you not in the community? Oh, you're this person. Oh, okay. And then we're like, oh. And then we just go, what took you so long to sign up? Yeah, what the heck?

You know? Like, what took you so long? So, Blaine, thank you for signing up for rare status. Thank you, thank you, dear, here. And then we had people that went, I'm going to sign up for more than just rare status. I'm going to make these guys play some games. And so we had Barry Ferguson sign up for epic status? Epic status?

Epic. We had this guy, listen, and I love seeing this guy around. Anytime somebody joins the community and then just becomes part of the community, it's one of our favorite things. Because gaming should be fun for people. You should have other gamers to chat with and to play games with. And honestly, like, the gaming community can be super toxic. And we understand that not everybody wants to interact with that.

So when people join our community, which is not toxic and is honestly, a really, really awesome group of people. And they start participating. It just kind of warms our heart. And this guy came in a few weeks ago and then hung out for a while, has been participating. And then just signed up for Epic Status for a whole year, which you can do people. We don't push it because, you know, we're not greedy around here. But if you want to, you can.

But Damios signed up for Epic Status. Has been an awesome member of the community for a while now. So Damios, Damios. I'm going to say Daniels. That's how my Hey, as long as you say it and not me. Hey,

anyone, Ryan. Yeah, yeah, anyone. Ryan, not allowed to say anything anymore. So, uh,

honestly, thank you. Thank you so much for supporting the show. And then a long term member of the community who has been supporting for a while is like, you know what? I'm going to rally behind this. Has been listening to this show for a long time.

Awesome member of the community. Have played rest with this guy, uh, hung out before. but Drusky A massive shout out to Druski for signing up for legendary status that is the highest

way to support this podcast signed up to say hey man love what you guys are doing want to make sure you guys can keep bringing this to the world so much Drewski got a chair yeah he got a chair We haven't given out a chair in a while

like Drusky got a chair that was awesome I was excited to see it we have the legendary lounge. Nobody sees it unless they are a legendary member. And then when they sign up, they go, what's this? And, you know, it's a lounge. So anytime you get to become part of the lounge, you get a chair. Every single legendary member has a chair.

A specific chair. Yeah. It's unique to that individual. And so, you know, that's one of those unadvertised perks of supporting the show at legendary status is you get your lounge chair too. So, all right. there you go. Thank you to all of you. And listen, I would be remiss if I didn't say this, but there's six

more people to sign up and all three of us are getting hijacked to play a game that the community gets to choose. There are some front runners based on our episode where we talked about games we've never played before. But it's up to the listeners at that point. They get to pick for us. We don't get a say.

All right. You guys ready to get into this draft? Let's go. Let's do it. So I randomize the draft order because we do this like a snake draft just to keep things fair. Although in a blind draft, I'm not sure that this really matters. I'm not sure it matters. I don't think it matters. But we do it anyway.

So the draft order is going to be Ryan and then me and then Ace and then it will go Ace and then me and then Ryan and then just back and forth as like a snake draft. We're doing four rounds. So we're going to have four villains each. And then we'll pick the scenarios to put these guys in and we will see how this goes in. I'm like, we got some really dumb scenarios. Oh man. Yeah. Like, it'll be pretty funny to see these guys put into, or girls to be put into

these situations. So Ryan, you have the first pick. What villain are you taking? Well, when, when you're looking for a villain, you're looking for a man with a plan. And I'm going to go with the one, the only Dutch Vanderlin. I got a plan, Arthur. Hey, Dutch is a villain. I like Dutch is a thousand percent of a villain. He was just trying to take care of his

crew, man. No, Dutch is a thousand. He betrayed Arthur and everybody else. What did you label in this poor guy, man? I don't want to spoiler. You're about the rage made it too hard. You raged him way too hard.

Dang it. You got me. You got me for a second. I did get you, Ryan. You deserve that, by the way. I was in podcast. mode and then you turn me into like brain dead mode yes yes dutch van der lind he's a villain anyways continue on what scenario is my beautiful dutch in oh we don't know we're picking

it first oh yeah yeah yeah then you got yeah we got we got we got to finish the draft first okay all right all right i am gonna i'm just gonna start off because i i think this is the greatest villain of all time in any video game uh i i i feel like i've picked this one recently so i might retire this villain after this draft because we like to try to mix it up. But I am taking Navi as my first villain. Yeah, because she is the worst. She is the worst most evil being in the universe to subject people to her voice. And so I am taking Navi as my first pick of this draft.

My evil is subjective. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.

Hey. What? you have to do this. I can't wait until we get to the scenarios. Oh, sorry. Sorry. She's just trying to help you out. Yeah, no, not like this.

No, not like this. No, thank you. All right. Okay. People can be like, Navi's not a villain. Yes, she is. We're just going to let you call Navi.

Navi has caused more angst, strife, frustration, and annoyance in this world than any other video game villain ever. Hey, listen. Stop it, Ryan. Stop. My ears.

I'm an ace. You go now. All right. My first villain pick is one who's, you can't even argue this guy's not a villain. It's Joseph Seed from Far Cry 5. Oh, the crazy cult leader. The crazy cult leader. Bro, he's so charismatic, though, man.

I join his cult. That's how cults work, Josh. That's how they work. Wait a minute. Yeah, you know what I'm in. He got me. He got me. You're right.

They are charismatic. I guess somebody wants. Nobody wants to join an ugly cult leader. Hey here, Josh, have some Kool-Aid. I've made it just for you. Have you noticed? All the cult leaders always have man buns too. Yeah, I got the man buns.

Have you noticed? The yellow-tinted sunglasses. Yeah, they like always have the man buns and the, like, they're always just like a little. They're wearing a shirt just like yours, Ryan, and they just like stand with open arms like, welcome to my flock. Come, my children. I'm just going to start asking man bun guys if they're culting. If they have a cult. I'm just going to walk and be like, yo, bro.

I don't know what your cult is, but I want to join. They either have a cult or they teach yoga, like one of the two. That's true. There's the two options for having a man bun. Sorry for any man bun listeners out there. We're not judging. Sorry, we're not sorry. Or you work as a local barista.

That's the other one. One of those three seems like that's all you got. And then from someone who talks probably way too much to someone who doesn't talk at all, pyramid head is the villain. Oh, okay. Pyramid Head was a good thing. pick. I actually almost had pyramid head on my list. The idea of him in some of these scenarios is just too funny to not draft him.

Also, what an inconvenient, like, life to be? Like, yeah, like, you know, like, you're the scary thing, but also here, wear this dumb pyramid that takes up, like, most of your body. Sorry if you need to use the bathroom and you can't see anything or fit through the stall door or close the stall door because you have a pyramid head. I mean, I guess that's just what you get for being, what is he like, the interpretation of a man's sins. He's not even real. Yeah, maybe.

All right. So it's back to me. I'm about to do the worst accent you all have ever heard. Oh, here we go. All right. Because I'm taking the annoying kudos. Oh. It's my backyard, isn't it?

Yeah, you were correct. That is the worst accident. That is the worst accent. It's been a while since I played disco elysium, so I probably should have done my research and refresh this, but. Well, you can't practice any of the lines he says. Isn't it? Isn't it?

That's like how Kudonkney. That's like how Kudu talks, right? Isn't it? Yeah. I. Also, Kuno, Kuno is a little prick, man. He is a little prick. He is, dude.

And so I, there's some situations on our list where I'm like, this is going to go horribly wrong if Kuno has to actually do whatever this situation is. And let's be honest, Kuno is quite the villain in Disco Elysium as well. Because you want to punch him in the face more than anything.

Yeah. You get to. You might get to. Okay. All right. So we're back to Ryan, Ryan. You got back-to-back picks now. Yep. It's up to you, bud. Finish it up. So this is, we're only doing four, right? Yeah, only four. Although you've only taken one. I guess so no, you got two more and then you got one more.

Yeah, he'll be the last picture. He'll finish this off later. Okay. Yeah. I am going to go with one that is very crazy and spooky in from my childhood. I'm going to go with Diablo from Diablo 2. That's such a crazy one. Diablo is on my list, too.

Imagine Diablo in any circumstance we put him in. That's such a crazy one. Once this happens, you know, when he's sitting there like in a laundromat, he's like, not even death can save you from me. And they're like, I'm just trying to watch my whites, man. Like, you know. So that'll be the first one. We're going to run right to the next one, right?

Yep, one more. Yeah, you get back to back. One more. I'm going to go with, I think I'm going to do G-Man from Half-Life 2. Mr. Freeman. Mr. Freeman. That's a good one. Yeah.

Yeah, it's almost like, is, yeah. Very, very spooky, very scary, very straight-laced. Putting him in certain situations will be comedic relief for sure. So, yeah. I like it. Diablo and G-Man. My next up, I hate this character more than just about any character in a video game. He ranks up there with Micah Bell for me.

I'm picking Heimdahl from God of War, Ragnarok. I hate him. See? Yeah. Yeah. That reaction was right there. I hate him so mad. Oh. Yeah. That freaking guy, man. I hate that guy so much. And you know what? The reason I'm picking him is because I want him to get the worst situation ever just so he has to do it, man. Just so he has to do it. And we can be like, ha ha! Eat it, sucker. So, yeah, I'm taking Heimdahl. I freaking hate that guy so much, man. Put him in old folks home. He's like, yeah, I know, DeLore. you want more porous. I already know. I already know. I already know.

You're about to crap your pants. Oh, yeah. Oh, there it is. There it is. I know. There's the poop. All right. Get the wipes.

All right. Ace. I believe these are your last two pants, right? These will be my last two. Yeah. First of off, I'm taking Ridley from Metroid. Ridley, the space pirate. The space, isn't that?

Isn't Ridley a dragon? It's a map? he's a space pirate though that's what he's a high-ranking space pirate that's what he is but he's a massive like teradactal dragon thing oh okay yeah yeah yeah he is like a weird looking teradactyl-y thing yeah yeah yeah dude i haven't heard reference to ridley in a long wait what's the name his name's ridley ridley yeah like yeah like ridley like you know like it sounds like ridley's believe yeah like like it's exactly like it sounds how do you I understand what you said.

That's Ripley's, believe it or not. I think I just explained it and then he just continued to keep explaining. He just like, like, it's spelled like Ridley, Ryan. You know. Yeah, I would say Ridley's more taradactal than dragon.

Yeah, I think he's more teradactal. But it's also a space pirate, all right? The cunning god of death. I didn't know that was a name. For those that don't know who Ridley is, Ridley is an evil and aggressive, draconic, extraterrestrial. Do people not know Metroid? He became Seamus' archeness nemesis after murdering the latter's parents as he led a space pirate raid on her home planet.

Do people not know Metroid? Do you know how old Metroid is, Ace? Yeah, fair enough. Yeah. I remember now, but... That's for the youngsters out there. Ridley's terrifying. It's a great villain.

I'm just, you know, it's... Lego Ridley is scary. I'll tell you that much. All right. Wait, you got another pick. That's right. I'm going to round out my draft with Carl Heisenberg from Resident Evil Village. He was the magnet.

He said, Oh, yeah. Okay. Okay. Yeah, he was the glasses in the trench coat, right? Yeah, he had magnet powers. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, Magneto, basically.

He was like, well, well, well. That's a good villain. Ethan Winters. that dude was all right okay so then this is my last pick right

I've got Navi I've got Kuno and I've got Heimdahl this villain dude well I'm just gonna I'm just gonna name the villain

all right people will understand so for my last pick of the draft I am taking Ryan as the loot goblin as my last villain pick Ryan is the Louke goblin rounding out my team

the true villain, the one that is your, you know, just the arch nemesis of any game, just yonking stuff that doesn't belong to him. Ryan is the Louke Goblin on my team. I can't wait to see what scenario. I'm not even the Lou Goblin in our group. That's what the Luke Goblin says, Ryan. That's not what the edit says either. We have you on video being the Lou Gepplin.

You wish I would yoink your stuff. Whoa. Whoa. Family show. listen, just because I nominated you, it doesn't mean you got to try to do me any favors. It doesn't mean you get to be the villains. All right.

So we're such idiots, guys. Oh my gosh. This whole thing's stuff. Okay. All right. So there's my team. Ryan, your last pick of the draft.

Yeah. I guess since anything matters anymore, since we're just picking whatever, I'm going to go with, The one the only, the most juiced up, jacked up, amazing creature and specimen in the world. I'm going with Bain. Bain. Bain?

From the Arkham games. Not Bail. Curious you. No, not bail. Not bail. Bain. Hello. I was born.

I was born in this. Mordid by it. I didn't see the light. What game was a man? He was in the Archam game. I was in a lot of games? Was he in the Archam games? Yeah, dude.

Didn't you see me? Dude. You didn't pay just like a surf for bro. Yeah, bro. Bro, they put they, I get, I get residuals quite often. You want to go surfing, bro? Hey, my, my royalties are, are substantial. Oh, man.

You're such a scuba. Okay. Oh, this is. All right. We got a good list, though. We got a good list. We got a good list. Here's the list.

Okay. So my list of villains is I have Navi from Zelda, Ukraine of Time. I have Kuno from Disco Elysium. I have Hindahl from Ragnarok. And I have Ryan the Lute Goblin from real life, unfortunately. Ryan has Dutch from Red Dead Redemption 2. Diablo from Diablo 2.

G-Man from Half-Life and Bain from some Batman game somewhere in the video game. Just the Arkhamverse. I know. I know. I'm just trolling Ryan. And then A's has Joseph Seed from Far Cry 5, Pyramidhead from Silent Hill, Ridley from Metroid and Carl Heisenberg from Resident Evil Village. I want to point out, Josh literally doesn't have a villain.

All of his characters are just... The Hyndel's a villain. Heimdahl's a villain. No. What are you talking about, Ryan? He's a god that's like... The God's in. God of War are the bad guys.

Okay. It's called... Wait a minute. If he had a villain... If he had a villain, that's the only one. That's the only one. No, no, no, no, no. How dare you...

Where's your moral... ...share you be smirch my list? Okay. Number one, Hybdahl on this list is probably the least of the villains. All right? So, Navi... That's what I'm saying. There's not a villain.

That doesn't understand how terrible Navi is to the world. world at large. Kuno is the most punchable kid you've ever met in your entire life. Heimdahl, I mean, Heimdahl's pretty terrible. But then Ryan, the loot goblin, dude? Like, what more of a villain can you have when you are dying to hordes of zombies and you need the help of your friend? You need the help of your friend. You're talking about cox of commando, aren't you? And about to bleed out. It's about to bleed out. And your buddy is just running around, just collecting loot while you're fighting for your life. It's so funny you don't mention the fact that you left me and then that's why I was by myself collecting loot. Do you mean we left you because you

jumped off the vehicle to go loot something? No! Yes! Whatever. Continue with the show. All right. We're going to move on. We got to move on. All right, listen, we got to take a quick break and then we are going to come back and we're going to start throwing these situations at these villains and plugging them in. We'll be right back after this break. All right, guys. This is where it gets stupid. It's weird.

Okay, we have a list. We have, this is 17 different situations. And to keep this fair, what we did is I have a random number generator that I'm going to spin right now. 13. So number 13 on the list is, oh my gosh. Oh, no.

Okay, 13 is they are a YouTuber. One of those annoying vlog-tubers who films everything. Okay, so this is the situation. They are a vlogging YouTuber who films everything that they do. Ryan, since you had the first pick in the draft, we're going to let you pick which villain you want to plug into this situation first. Who's your YouTuber, Ryan? Oh, no.

Oh my gosh, I don't know which one I would pick. They're all pretty funny. They're all pretty good. Gosh. Man, I guess I could go with the one that has the best radio voice. You know, he would be, Hello, I'm a YouTuber. Welcome.

Don't forget to like and subscribe. Don't forget to like and subscribe. I was born in YouTube. Welcome to Bain News. This just in, Batman sucks. All right, so we've got, we've got Bain as Ryan's YouTuber. I'm gonna go next. I think this might, dang, do I want to use Heimdahl here?

No, I'm going with, hey, welcome in everybody. Don't forget to like and subscribe. Welcome to my channel on today's episode. We're going to be going to Tokyo. I'm taking off my headphones. We're going to go see the lights of the city. Yeah. Okay.

They both took their headphones off, right? And rightfully, so try to tell me that Navi is not a villain. Try to tell me she's not a villain. You as Navi's a villain. That's for darn sure. Yeah, because we're basically identical. in how we Yeah, you're super annoying.

Yeah, you guys are. You guys are. Navi is my YouTuber. She fits that role perfectly, by the way. Hey, listen. Hey, would you like to come on my show? We could do a collaboration.

Would you like to collab? Would you like to do love? How do your subscribers do you have? More than you. I'll tell you that. If not, I'll break your back. You should. You should have seen what I did to Batman.

I'm just like trying to imagine Bain trying to like break Navi's back. Ace, you have the most perfect pick for this one. I hope you pick it. Oh, but there's two really good ones for this one. If you think about how egotistical they both are. Oh, I was going for the one that can't speak at always. Oh, that's true. I was thinking about, okay, so I thought about that.

But it's like, he's like, since it's a vlog YouTuber who does use their phone, his like phone is just hitting his face. It's just point blank because he can't get his arm far enough away from the pyramid head. He's definitely pretty pyramid. He's just like you just see a wall of metal.

Yeah. It's just like boom. It's just his head blocking every shot. Oh man. It's just like who are you officially picking? Hey guys, welcome in. I'm here today. Okay. Also my wife just

texted me and said, please stop doing whatever you're doing in there with the Navi voice. Pyramid Head ASMR channel starting soon. No, I think it was really nice. You should really join my channel. Okay. So who's your official pick, Ace? I think I would have to go if we're just efficiently, I would say Carl Heisenberg is the funniest to put it in the YouTuber position. Because if he's just walking around filming, uh,

just filming his daily life. I was like, and this is my, my forge where I make horrifying creations. They're eco-friendly. Check it out. Check it out. I'd actually probably watch like a villain YouTube channel.

Villain YouTube channel would be interesting. Yeah. Yeah. Although that's most YouTube, that's most of the prank YouTubers that just are people alone, dude. Yeah. I think Heisenberg's a funny fit for a YouTuber.

All right. We got to roll again here. C rolling and we got number three. Oh my gosh. Works at a retirement center taking care of old people and changing diapers. I'm putting Heimdall in this situation. We just mentioned it. We just talked about this.

You're changing poopy diapers. Heimdall. Eat it sucker. Like it's what you get. freaking loser. I want the most ridiculous situation possible. Yeah.

I'm, I'm taking care of Betty, who keeps forgetting who you are in your ego, and he's like, I'm Heimdahl. And she's like, who are you? Who are you?

Yeah. Harry? Oh, no. I think it just soiled my pants. Yeah, I know. I know. I know. I already know.

Yeah. Also, I know what we're having for dinner tonight. It's jello and peas. Jell-O-and-peas. Oh, God. and boiled goose. So is it my pick? Is my turn?

Yeah, Joe. Yeah. All right. So this is the retirement home, right? Okay. This is the retirement home. I'm going to be Diablo. I was going to say, it's the one the only Diallo.

Diablo's like you. Can you imagine? Not even death can save you from me. They're already almost dead anyways. All of them. Imagine him calling bingo in the bingo. I-47. G-50 G-G-G-G-G-G-G.

Bingo. Sufitton. Stop cheating. You don't have any. Help me to block up bingo. You need a straight line, Betty. Oh, that would be ridiculous. Oh my gosh.

Okay. All right. Diablo, I could just, Diablo and all folks on. Would you get me a deer. He could get me a cello from concession. Dang it, Betty.

I'm the Lord of Terror. Jello born from hell. We only serve red jello. Guys, I totally just want to try to cram Ridley into a retirement. Oh, man. What a terrifying retirement home that would be. He's trying his best to help. Just Ridley and Diablo running around.

These people think they're just dead. Oh, yeah. Especially if Diablo and Ridley are in the same retirement. Oh, man. That's a, that's a horror game right there. So, all right, so you're putting Ridley? Ridley and Diablo just terrifying, terrifying the poor old people. The whole experience.

Oh, my gosh. All right. Let's hit scenario number. three. Number 18 on our list. 18 is a cruise ship activity director. This is coming up with all the dumb things

like napkin folding balloon animals, open mic comedy night. You think of it. This is the cruise ship activity director. I know the perfect person for this. All right, Ace, well, why don't you lead us off then? Joseph Seed has found his place in life

after his cult has been disbanded, now he gets to lead all these wonderful party people on their cruise. He gets, he gets them off in the ocean for a while. He's just recruiting. He's like, you can't go anywhere. He's like, join me, join me. He's like coming to the party room.

The whole boats just converted by the time they get back. Oh, my goodness. Okay, that's actually, that's a pretty good one. That's a pretty good one. So Joseph Seed as the cruise ship activity director, there. All right, Ryan, who are you picking for this one? I know, I know my answer on this one.

Well, that mine's perfect. This one, uh, when, when you're, when you're on there, like you said, you got to, you got to, you got to, you got to, you got to have an anticipation on what's going to happen. And, you know, you want a man that has a plan. And that's Dutch Vanderlin because I have a plan. That's the one, the only Dutch Vanderlin. He's got, he's got a plan.

going to have everything planned up, everything lined up. You want, he's going to be doing water aerobics out in the, the pool deck area. He's going to have yoga going in on the inside. He's going to have everything you want. Dutch is the man. He's got it all planned out. Dutch always has a plan for everything and everyone. And if anyone goes off the plan, he just shoots them. I have a plan. Bam! Dutch would actually be pretty decent at this job, believe it. This is like the one job where I would, I think Dutch would be good. Dutch decided to go straight.

He went straight lace. He tied up the, uh, the, uh, the, everybody. He's ready to limbo. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, he's, he's ready. Yeah. All right. How can you go, Arthur?

Lower, lower. Lower. I'm trying, Dutch. I'm trying to get the knees. Been at the knees. I'm taking Kuno for this one. This is going to be the craziest most crime-ridden activity that you've ever seen.

You can put them on Carnival Cruise. Yeah. No kidding. Yeah, exactly. Kudoh is going to be like, all right. So we're going into a purse snatching. Uh, we're hopping off at this port to go score some drugs. Uh, yeah, Kudo is just going to lead everybody on, uh, on how to, uh, participate

in all the crimes that you can do on a cruise ship, uh, which I can't help for legal reasons. I can't help. Cujo still. I can't. I misspoke it once and then it's just like ingrained in my brain. You permanently ingrained it. Permanently like he's always Coojo for to me. All right. This is the last spin. We do not get a choice on who is getting put into this situation since we each only have one villain left. This situation is number eight, which is. Oh my gosh. Oh, no. The H.OA president. I got his. Mine's perfect. Mine is so perfect. I got Ryan the loot goblin as the HOA president.

Ryan's the guy that's going around going, oh, are these your flowers that aren't permitted? I'm taking your flowers for myself. Oh. Oh, did you park your car where your tires over the driveway? Well, I'm taking your car. Just loot goblining up everything, thinking he's entitled to all of it because he is the HOA president. And he has the power to do whatever he wants. the worst part about this is

is that I'm probably the least loose goblin and then you're just like you're going in on this so hard no you are going in on this so no you can eh all you want whatever ace go what's yours ace go I'm only left with pyramid head he just

he just shows up like out front of the house and like that's how he delivers the notices Yeah, he's like, go check the weeds. Go check the weeds. You just see your head's just sitting there breathing. That giant cleaver, he sticks it into your grass and he picks up a ruler. He's just checking pictures. The weed heights.

He's trying to take pictures of the violation, but he can't see, so he's just missing it every time. He's just trying to do his, a lot. All the pictures you get are just like half of his head. It's just like the column thing there. You left your trash cans out once and now there's just a giant hole pierced. And then How the Mighty Have Fallen, Ryan, your last

character is G-Man who, you know, I mean, is kind of a leader, but like this poor guy has fallen. That would, okay, hold on. You would, that would be the most petrifying like,

HOA to be part of. Yeah. Dude, you'd have the nicest neighborhood ever. Your pain. is not the right color. He's like almost, he's almost, uh, what was the...

Is this a peeling paint? Is it appealing paint? You have too many vehicles. Too many vehicles. That's going to be a fine. That's going to be a fine. There must be punishment. Just get said to a pocket dimension.

It would just be, it would be, it would be crisp, it'd be pristine, it would be streamlined, and it would be scary. G-Man as an HOA president would be, I think I'd probably keep up with my stuff. I would move is what I would do. I would like, yep, I'm out. I'm out. Tap in.

Let me move out of here. Ace is frantically negotiating with his cat to get off of the show. I don't think they want to negotiate Ace. They're looking at you like, what an idiot, man. You can't do nothing about it. Look at him. Look at this guy trying to tell me what to do. This is a standoff going on on on the podcast.

right now. All right. Well, here is your final villain situation. Real quick, by the way, if you're not watching, you should be watching because we do have video. So you could see Ace's beautiful tuxedo cat right behind him on one of the shelves of his many, many figurines and statues that he has up there. Ready to break one. Yeah, that's Ace's fear. It's like, that's a $300 statue! Get off of that thing! You know how many little theaters I had to give up for that?

You look like an idiot human yelling at me with your weird headphones on. All right. So here's the situations that our villains wound up in. We have a YouTuber. We had Navi, Bain, and Heisenberg as our YouTuber vloggers. We had works in a retirement center taking care of old people and changing diapers. We had Heinzahl, Diablo, and Ridley. We had a cruise ship activity director.

We had Kuno, Dutch, and Joseph's Seed. And then we had the HOA president, which I had Ryan the Lute Goblin, G-Man and Pyramidhead as your HOA presidents there. All right, listen, that is going to do it for this episode. Look, sometimes, you know, you might have listened to this episode and gone, guys, I think my brain melted. Sometimes you just got to be stupid and you just got to have fun. And that's what we like to do on this podcast from time to time. let us know what your favorite villain and situation was. We read all the comments.

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So that's it for this one, everybody, on behalf of Ryan the Luke Goblin. Happy gaming. Hey, you guys, I got some PTO. You want to hang out? See you. Peace out. Get off my show. No.

Oh, he's getting the cat. Ah, there goes. Thank you.