Video Gamers Podcast - Drafting the WORST Heroes to Save the World – Gaming Podcast

Episode Date: April 21, 2026

Gaming hosts Josh, Ryan and Ace are putting their brains to the test in a chaotic gaming draft where they pick the absolute WORST characters to try and save the world. From useless heroes to downright liabilities, the guys debate who would doom humanity the fastest and why. It’s a hilarious mix of strategy, roasting, and pure gaming nonsense as they stack their teams with the worst of the worst. If you love video games and ridiculous what-if scenarios, this is one video game episode you don’t want to miss from the Video Gamers Podcast!   Thanks to our MYTHIC Supporters: Redletter, Disratory, Ol’ Jake, Gaius, Jigglepuf, Phelps and NorwegianGreaser, Dettmarp and Night Wizard63   Thanks to our Legendary Supporters: HypnoticPyro, PeopleWonder, Bobby S.   Connect with the show: Support us on Patreon: ⁠patreon.com/videogamerspod⁠ Join our Gaming Community: https://discord.gg/h2cHKAvSmu Follow us on Instagram:⁠ https://www.instagram.com/videogamerspod/⁠  Follow us on X:⁠ https://twitter.com/VideoGamersPod⁠  Subscribe to us on YouTube:⁠ ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@VideoGamersPod?sub_confirmation=1⁠    Visit us on the web:⁠https://videogamerspod.com/⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello, fellow gamers, and welcome to the Video Gamers podcast. There's a massive asteroid headed straight for our planet. Our only hope is to craft a team of video game characters to send into space to stop this planet killing rock. The only problem is, that sounds a little too boring. So instead, we're drafting the worst team of characters to have Save the Planet. it's going to be dumb and the planet is definitely hosed but it'll be a gloriously good time before we get to the mission some introductions are in order i am your host josh and joining me he's the perfect candidate for this mission since he'd either miss the launch by being late or get distracted and accidentally blow up the ship but he's busy recording this podcast it's ryan listen we've discovered you know time is just like i always say it's relative, man. It's just, it doesn't, it doesn't matter. Time is just, poof. It matters when you need to launch a rocket ship to save the planet, Ryan. Allegedly, allegedly, allegedly, you know,

like, he would actually be late as an astronaut. He'd be like, I'm on my way, guys, I'll be there. Ryan's idea of five to ten minutes, like, if Ryan's like, I'll be ready in five to ten boys, means 25 to 30 minutes. And I can only wonder what happens during that, like, so much. So much. You have no idea. So much happens is because I think I just, I think of a time frame and then I get distracted by 800 things as I'm doing the things I need to do. Yeah, I know you're well versed in it now. It's literally,

I'm living this way, man. Why do you think I say it? We bring it up so much because people don't know that this is so true. Ace started laughing the second I said Ryan's five to ten because he knows, man. Yeah, I do. Well, and speaking of Ace, And joining us. He was a potential candidate,

but his mom knows the mission commander and pulled some strings to keep him home and safe. It's a-taste. I always bringing my mother into things she's not involved with. Oh, she was involved. Oh, she was in that. I was going to say,

Ryan's misconception of time just reminds me that one scene from Malcolm in the middle with Hal and the light bulb. Oh, that dude, that's me. 100,000%. That's this few. A thousand percent. That is exactly.

I remember sending that to my wife because that went around on the internet for a while. That's me, dude, a million times over. Yeah, we know. We know, we know, bud. We know. So it's a condition. We love you. So don't, don't say anything to me.

You bigot? We just want to make sure that you're, you're, I'm a timist. Is that it? You're a timist, bro. Josh. Bro, the word bigot comes out and it always catches me off. Your time, you're timephobic, all right? Yeah, I guess, yeah, sorry.

I don't like to leave people. I'm the opposite of Ryan. If I tell you I'll be there a certain time, I'll show up five to ten minutes early because I need to make sure that I'm there before I told you. Look at all the time you wasted. Like, and think of the things you could have done in that few minutes. No, that's not. No, because then other people are waiting, Ryan. It's got like ripple effect, you know?

Listen, I can't say no, okay. I just say yes to everything and I just do it. Yeah. Just say 25 to 30 minutes. But then it'll be like 45 minutes to an hour and then we'll really be mad. So yeah, you're just screwed, Ryan. There's no hope. No hope.

Guys, so welcome in, everybody. We have a really fun, stupid episode. These are some of our favorite. If you're new here, welcome in. If you're a long-time listener, thanks for coming back. But anybody that's been listening to this podcast for a while knows we love dumb, stupid ideas. And we were like, you know, it's been a while since we've had a silly draft. We've done, you know, video game characters to have a beer with, a video game bar fight, you know, any number of these drafts that we've done.

And we were like, it is time for another draft, but we want to do something kind of silly. Then we came up with the idea of like an anti-draft where it's like the opposite. So this started out like, hey, let's build a team to save the world a la Armageddon. And then we went, yeah, but you know, that's just going to wind up being the heroic characters again or the really smart. one. And then we went, what if we made it to where it's the worst team to put together? And that opened up so many possibilities. So this is going to be a good episode. But guys, before we get into the draft because we didn't make a draft order, I'm just realizing. I just say what order. I just message you literally said that. Yeah, Ace, why don't you have something randomize the order for us?

We'll do. Well, I spend a minute. to thank two new supporters of the show, as we love to do. Thank you. So a huge shout out to Rev's Ghost and Kenneth Dubin for signing up for rare status. A huge thank you to both of you. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Support goes a long way. Dude, it goes a very long way. We literally, we just started a private Rust server. So if you love Rust and you're like, hey, that game's toxic, what, you know, we can get, we can like, you know, it'd be cool to play with really cool people. We now have a private Rust server that has been a blast that we just started. We gave away two copies of Rust so that people can join that weren't able to join before due to financial issues and stuff like that.

And it is the support from everybody out there that makes that possible for us to be able to do these game giveaways and set up these servers and just do the things. that we love to do on this podcast, which is just give the gift of gaming to people, man. Every live stream we've had, we've given away multiple games. You know, we just, it's something we love. No gamers should ever be left behind

when they want to play, you know, games with people and stuff like that. So everybody out there that supports this podcast, you all make it possible. And so, you know, thank you to the two new signups, Rev Ghost and Kenneth for pitching in

and supporting this podcast. Thank you. Ace. Thank you very much. All right. we've got the draft order. It is Ryan, Ace, and then me. Dang it.

Although I don't, I don't know if you want to go first, bud. No, no, no. It's okay. Actually, I, I, I, listen, I am almost willing to bet that you guys are never going to take any of the characters that I took on. I have a feeling or not. Mine are pretty different to most. Yeah. So this is one where it's like I went with what I think would just be the most terrible thing imaginable.

So, yeah, let's get to it, boys. Yeah, so let's see. We're going to draft. It's been so long, man. How many people in a mission, boys? How many people in a mission? Should we go five? I feel like you need five people.

I say five is the accurate number for mission. Okay. All right. So we're going to draft. You can tell we set this up. And then we were like, oh, wait, we totally forgot to do the draft order. And how many people were drafting? I'm going to be honest, guys.

It's been a lot. be honest guys, I only have five characters. So if one of you happens to snag one of my characters, I'm screwed. Like, I am totally screwed at that point. So I'm just hoping that my angle on this. Ace, you know what to do. I hope that my angle on this is not going to cause issues because if either one of you do it, I'm in big trouble, man. Like big trouble. So, all right. So we're going to do this like a snake draft though. So we're going to go Ace and then, I'm sorry, we're going to go Ryan. Ace and then me and then I will pick again

and then it'll go Ace and then Ryan and then back and forth back and forth until we have our full team of people your idea of what constitutes a worst character is completely up for interpretation if you think that they would be incompetent that's fine if you think

that they would mess up other people or eat other people on the mission or whatever like I said there's no rules as far as that goes So Ryan, you have the very first pick, Ryan. There's no pressure here at all. Set the stage, brother. Don't mess this up, Ryan.

Well, for the very first pick, you got to pick someone if you're really just going to, you know, wet the bed and do horrible and not really do much else other than eat and eat a lot of pills. I'm going with Pac-Man. Pac-Man. Pac-Man. What the heck is Pac-Man? going to do to save the world. Pac-Man just, um-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a- He doesn't have arms, so that's...

You could send him in one direction, and that's all he can do. He can just go one way. He can't go vertically. That is true. That's, he can, you know, you got to control him if you want, then you got to pay attention to him. It would be the worst teammate ever. But yeah, so I'm going to, I'm going to go with Pac-Man.

All right. Pac-Man is not bad. I like it. I like it. I mean, he doesn't have arms. He doesn't talk. he eats things. I don't really know how Pac-Man's helping.

We're just only counting like arcade Pac-Man, right? Because there is a Pac-Man with arms and legs. I know, but that's not really Pac-Man. Oh, gee, Pac-Man. Who ever put arms and legs on Pac-Man, that's an abomination, by the way. I don't know, those games are pretty fun. Pac-Man Adventures are actually pretty fun, 3D platformers, but also that's an abomination.

Pac-Man doesn't have arms-in-likes. All right. I guess it's my turn, yeah? Yes. I am going to nominate. the one and only, the most selfless man I know, patches of Dark Souls and Eldon Ring fame. I was wondering if you were going to have a Dark Souls guy. He definitely won't kick anyone off of the shuttle mid-launch.

Just for the heck of it. I'll be honest days, I know of Patches, but it has been, I don't even want to say, he's in every Frumsoft game, dude. Yeah, but who is, which one is Patches? Patches is the bald guy. He always kicks you in the hole. I don't remember patches. You don't remember patches at all?

That's crazy. I know. I mean, I'm old, so, you know, I got an excuse at least. Well, hopefully everyone else out there remembers how terrible patches is to you. Yeah. Okay. All right. So Patches for Ace.

What makes him incompetent, Ace? Oh, he's not incompetent. He's just self-serving. And it's a complete jerk. Selfish. Is he the guy that'd be like, I'll only do this if you give me $5 billion. Yeah, and then he just leave with the money. Bro, the world's indie.

Go to a different planet. Yeah. Okay. Okay. All right. I like it. You know, the greed, Ryan, Ryan kind of hinted towards, like, picking a character that would be greedy and being like, this guy would be the worst because he's only in it for the money.

Yeah. Well, here's the thing. You can summon patches to fight against Radon in Eldonring. He will immediately unsummon himself and leave. Okay. That's pretty funny. Nope. I'm out.

He literally will, like, everyone else walks forward. and he just goes back. All right, that's pretty, to watch that happen would be like, okay, apparently I don't remember who the heck patches is. A man to sticks whose values. Yeah, I will say that a lot of the NPCs in Eldon Ring are so weird

and out there that it's like half the time I don't remember them because they say like three words. And then it's like they just mysteriously disappear. So that's all right. Okay, guys. So, you know, for me, for me, I kind of, kind of envision that I'm on this mission, you know, I'm, I'm, I'm with these people. I'm going on this mission. This team has been assembled and it's like, okay, guys, we've

got one, you know, just think we're Armageddon, right? Maybe we don't all get along. Maybe we're not all super friendly with each other. But I started thinking about it and I'm like, what is, what is the nightmare scenario for this? So I'm just going to start off with, Hey! Hey! Hey, listen. No way. Hey, that was on my list. You had Navi?

You had Navi on your list? Oh my gosh. I'm so glad that I took Navi. I'm so glad I took Navi. What's that going to do? I would jump out of the porthole. If Navi was on this mission, I would, look, one of two things would happen. I'd either jettison myself into space and just be like, I can't take it.

This mission's failed anyway. Or I would kill Navi in front of everybody else. And then they would probably like try to stow me in the brig of the little spaceship that we're in. Hey, can you imagine? Yes. Stop. It would be like the lighthouse when he kills the seabird. Yeah.

Put the knife away. Josh. Josh, no. What are you doing? Wait, you both had Navi on your list. Yeah, man. Navi was on my list. Yep.

I remember how annoying Navi is. You kidding me? Oh, yeah. Well, okay. You got lucky this time. I get another pick. I'll be honest, I'm not as familiar with the voice of this character, but this is, listen, if Navi had a twin that was equally annoying and useless,

it's Pymond from Genshin Impact. Oh, God, no. Okay? I cannot think of the worst pairing of characters ever to have to save the planet than the two most annoying characters in all of gaming, dude. We did. Listen, if I'm on that ship, I'm opening the airlock. I'm finding the self-destruct button at this point, guys.

Because, like, look, I looked up because I was like, like, I, Navi was an easy choice for me. But then I was like, wait, who's the other really, really annoying character? And my daughter plays a ton of Genshin Impact, dude. And I know that there's people that love Genshin out there. But even my daughter was like, Dad, Pymon is the worst. And I was like, oh, it's right. It's Pymon. And are they the same voice actor?

No. Because I feel like there are, I feel like there's only a couple humans on the planet whose voices can be as annoying as Navi and Pymond. So, Pymond is my second pick. The planet is screwed, boys. Your, your planet is already doomed. There's like a 1% chance Patches is like, you know what? Maybe I will save the Earth so they love me. There's no chance.

Patches would have some heart, maybe. Josh's third pick is going to be. the little girl Android from Pragmata. Oh, I wish I had thought of that. Oh, my goodness. Dang it. It's silly. Just the demo.

Josh is like, nope. I'm out. I'm out. Overwhelmingly positive, by the way. Ace, we're back to you, buddy. You're going to have the middle pick in each of these rounds. Man. All right.

What's up next for you, Ace? I thought about this for a long time, and he's just so dumb. Having him there is nothing but a nuisance and a problem, and that's junk rat from Overwatch. Okay, that's actually That's actually a really good pick He is the dumbest character I know what to do guys

I'm an idea It just blows up something It blows up the ship The bottom cabin It'll change the trajectory of the asteroid Oh dude Okay Junker that's a good choice dude Because that dude's psychotic

Not a brain cell left in his body he's kind of endearing in a weird sort of way like you gotta make he's endearing but he's still stupid and he doesn't do anything right and you know here's the other thing I'm gonna call some people out if you're a junk rat main

stop it stop it and learn how to aim people okay because there's nothing more than I hate than a really good like that dude loads in and he's a level 140 junk rat you know you are not You're not having fun that match. Same as those scoregirls. The squargirls too.

It's basically the same thing. Yeah. Exactly. If he's on the other team, you're like, oh my gosh, here we go. And if he's on your team, then you're like, wait a minute. We have a junk rat main on our team. Like, come on, man. You step in one of the traps.

You're like, oh. It's over. I'm dead. Great pick. I love it. I love it. Ryan, you're going to have back-to-back picks, but go ahead and make your first one. And then we'll take a quick break.

and then we'll start round three. All right, guys. So when you're trying to save the world, you know, and I assume just kind of like you, Josh, that I'm on this mission, you know, what is something that it may be nice, maybe endearing, may make you feel good,

but it's really not going to get the job done. That would be the patented Bethesda adoring fan. Oh, no. Okay, so the adoring fan was on my list. Like, he's not one of the five, but he was the one backup that I had. I was like, if I guess if I need a backup, this will be the guy. He just shows up in the middle of space floating outside your window.

Right? Like, hey, guys. Hey, let me in. You're doing great. You're so amazing. Just like mort from Madagascar holding onto the outside. Oh, yeah. Dude.

Yeah. Adoring fan. Naming that guy, the annoying fan is the most true to form name of a character ever, dude. And remember when Starfield was like, hey, we've got Starfield and they started showcasing the annoying fan? And they brought him back. Yeah. And then I was like, oh my gosh. I actually picked the annoying fan because I wanted to laugh and I wanted the presence that he brings.

And I was like, you know, maybe he's going to bring me like a really cool laser gun or something at some point. Apparently he didn't love him enough because it's adoring fan, not annoying fan. No, no, he's annoying. That wasn't a slip. I know. That wasn't a slip. So, yes. Yeah, I know they call him the adoring fan,

but he will ever, forever be the annoying fan. But Josh, you're so amazing. He loves you so much. Yeah, I know. You're a real hero, sir. You know what I mean? But it's like, dude, you show up at the worst times, you know, too. I'm in a gunfight here, okay?

I'm in a gunfight here. I'm shooting people. So anyways, it started blasting. Yeah. All right, so the adoring fan for Ryan. All right, boys. That ends round two. We've got three rounds left, but we're going to take a quick break,

and then we're coming back with Ryan's next pick. We'll be right back after this mission silence. Local news is in decline across Canada, and this is bad news for all of us. With less local news, noise, rumors, and misinformation fill the void, and it gets harder to separate truth from fiction. That's why CBC News is putting more journalists in more places across Canada, reporting on the ground from where you live, telling the stories that matter to all of us,

because local news is big news. Choose news, not noise. CBC News. This episode is brought to you by Tell Us Online Security. Oh, tax season is the worst. You mean hack season? Sorry, what? Yeah, cybercriminals love tax forms.

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This is Mission Control. How's that mission going? This is Delta One. We are totally Fubar. Things are not going properly. And everyone is around. And there's some boy outside the window. He says he wants to see you.

This is. That was pretty good, Ryan. That was pretty good. This mission is doomed, man. Everyone's dead. Everyone's dead. The earth is dead. It's over.

I'm not going to lie. These have been some spectacular picks so far, man. Like, I'm pretty proud of us for this. There's a wide range when you go with, like, the worst, you know? Yeah. Yeah, there's a lot of bad characters out there. That's very true.

All right, Ryan, what's your next pick for you? So this is hard. I have so many. different characters to pick from, but I'm going to go with somebody, the man with the plan, I'm going with Dutch Vanderlin because he's always got a plan, but it never, we don't know what it is. We don't know what it is. It's always there. It's lingering in, you know, the stratosphere, and it's right there.

We have a plan. I have a plan, Arthur. And we never know what it is. We never learn it. So I think we would just be up in space or wherever we're trying to save the planet. And we would just be like, and like, what's the plan? And we get nothing. So I'm going to slingshot around the moon.

I'm going with Dutch. We got a slingshot around the moon. What are we going to do? We need more money. What's the plan, Dutch? We need more money. Then we can just buy the moon. We could just buy the astronauts.

Okay, I'm not going to lie, that was a great pick, Ryan. And I didn't even think about Dutch, man. Okay, all right, Ace, what's your next pick? Oh, okay. I thought you were next. I messed up. No, you're the middle pick every time. We need someone with some actual space knowledge on this ship.

And if he ever takes his, you know, face out of his hands, maybe he could help us. The one and only slippy toad. Slippy toad is a good pick, dude. The most useless character ever. Like, what the heck? Slippy Toad do? Fox, they're happy. People that don't know.

This is from Star Fox. So Slippy Toad from Star Fox. You know, maybe we're going to see the return of Slippy Toad. There's rumors about the Star Fox. There is a new Star Fox coming. You know, Star Fox game. There's rumors of a Star Fox movie, perhaps, with the whole cinematic universe. Could be the return.

The NCU, as they're calling it. So. But, dude, Slippy Toad is worthless, dude. I feel like that's the first video came character that, like, truly annoyed me. Like, I hate him. Slippy Tock. He wasn't, I won't say he was annoying, but it was just like, why are you here?

You're not doing anything. Dude, he just begs you to get every enemy off of him 24-7, and then you got like Falco's killing everyone. Help! Yeah, Falco's tearing it up and then Slippy Toad's like, yeah. Fogs, help! Such a good. Help me!

Okay. That's a good one. All right, so my next pick, guys. All right, hang on. Let me write this down. So I'm not like, what was Ace's pick? And I was also almost Ace going to do a pepepe, peppy hair, peppy hair. Oh, that's not bad.

Do a barrel roll. I was like, I can't do any more barrel rolls. I've done enough barrel rolls. All right, guys, I get back to back picks here. So I'm going to have two in a row. For my next pick, uh, listen,

I was really scared so I played this off, but 100% Diana from Pragmata is my next thing I had this on my list I thought you know how to say anything because if I gave it away I was worried one of you two turds was going to steal it from me but I was like absolutely so

I don't know if you noticed Ryan but when you brought it up I was like oh yeah that totally would have been so good because I was worried if like if I mentioned it that one of you two would try to snipe it from me it is Diana she is the Android girl from Pragata I'm not going to do the voice because I'm going to save everybody's ears out there.

Appreciate that since we're all one of the headphones. But I don't know if you guys have noticed this trend that I have going on right now about people. Oh, I can tell what you're doing. Yeah. Yes. So, so Diana. Slippy does fit in. Not quite as annoying of a voice though.

So that's unreal. I had to look up. I literally Googled who's the annoying girl from Pragata. And then it was like Diana the Android. And then I was like, yes, you know, Google knows too. You know. So sorry to everybody that's enjoying prognata out there. But I cannot.

I cannot. My brain, it's like nails on a chalkboard to me, man. The overly girlified, like, it's an adult making like a kid's voice. You know what I mean? And it just screeches on my ears. I know. I just said, look, I'm going to lean into this old curmudgeon thing. this one because if the planet's dying anyway, who cares at this point, you know, but that's my pick.

Diana the Android. I can't believe we called it. I knew it. And I got so scared because- how you got it, man, you called that. And I told you guys, I didn't have any backup. So I thought for sure if I was like, oh, that's amazing. I would be like, I'm taking Diana. And then I'd be like, I thought about it because I was like, oh, yeah, because Josh had such a horrible experience. But you only played the demo. How many, how many lines did she even have? It was. It was Oh, a thousand of... You're in the minority, bud. Don't stand in the red circles.

You lied. You lied to me. Don't stand in the red circles. Oh, God. I thought you said you were going to save us. I know, he lied to me. You guys, you guys did this. You did this, not me.

And podcasts, in podcasts, in podcasts, in podcasts. I'm stopping my recording. Stop, stop, stop, stop. All right. So, Diana, I'm going to put Pragata, just so people know what the heck that's talking about. All right. And then for my next,

I got one. character that I don't think you guys are going to draft at all, so I'm not too worried about it. But this one guys, this might be the worst crew of characters I have ever seen assembled. So I'm honestly feeling pretty good about this draft.

I am taking Tingle from Majoris Man. Yeah. I can't get him. I dodged two bullets then. Do you know Tingle had his own solo games? Dude, so I, this is funny

because I was like, I'm drafting Tingle, but then that led me down the rabbit hole because I wanted to hear Tingle's voice lines again. And I was like, man, it's been a minute since I've heard those. I just remember, number one, this dude's creepy. He's 35. He dresses up like a father suit. He's really weird. Not the kind of guy I'd want around my kids. You know, and then, and then so I went down this rabbit hole of Tingle. And apparently people in the, the, the, what is it, the West? Right? Are we the West? We're the West, right? The Western Hemisphere. They're the east. Right? So, yeah, yeah. So, Nintendo had to stop

putting Tingle in their games for the Western releases because we hate Tingle and we find him creepy and gross. But he has his own games. He literally has his own games

in the Eastern Hemisphere or whatever, you know, like, because they love him over there and they find him endearing and cute. And I'm just like,

this is weird. But Nintendo, literally had to back off putting tingling games because people in America were like, no, no. And so they were like, okay, well, we got to stop doing this. He's so bad, dude. He's so bad. Yeah. Yeah.

So I'm taking Tingle from Majora's Mask as my next crew member. Guys, this team is unbeatable. It's-Masgis mask is so good. Good luck. It is really good. Aside from Tangle. And there are rumors of remakes of Okarina and Majora's Mask coming.

And this is, one where I'm like, I am down for this remake. This is where we truly learn because there's always been those talks that Okorina is overrated. If they remake it and make it, you know, modern and new age and stuff like that, and then it, you know, that'll put it to the test. Yeah, we'll see. Yeah, we'll see. We'll see.

Yeah. Oh, no. Yeah. All right, Ace, we're back to you. All right. He is a hero among men, a true gray. Prince, the one and only the mighty Zote is joining

the crew Zote from the Hollow Night. Oh. At first I was like, remind who the heck is Zote? Zote is the old man. The old man from Hollow Night. He's the one that can't do anything, right? He's been adventuring his whole life and he's basically worn out at this

point. He says he's been adventuring his whole life, but in reality he has done nothing and all he does is mock you. And he just, even when you help him. Yeah. Oh, my kid. Oh my God. You can even choose not to save him and let him die at the beginning of the game.

And when you come back, his skull is sitting there. He is the most obnoxious lying piece of crap. Oh, that's awesome. You're going to do the whole way he's going to be like, you're not doing this right. Also, you got to remember, he's the size of a bug. He's super tiny. He is a bug. He's a little bit of advantage, though?

That could be an advantage. Like, hey, the main computer is short-circiting. and Zote's like, I got it. Put me inside. Oh, I got this. Fries himself immediately. He has no idea what he's doing. He could see. If he's this thing. He's just an old, he's just an old man that's small. He's just a bug. He's just a bug out in space. He's just a bug in space, dude. Just a bug in space. All right. You know what? That sounds pretty useless. A bug out in space. Yeah, it's pretty terrible.

All right. Ryan, you have back-to-back picks. These are your last two picks. So these two are going to wrap up your draft on this. So what you got? she got for us. Okay, so, um, this one is somebody that, you know, one would think would just be a good defender, a good protector, uh,

someone that could save the day. But, you know, only for one character. I'm going to go with Big Daddy from, uh, the Big Daddy from Bioshop. Big Daddy,

I ain't going to do nothing, but go for little sisters. Uh, you're going to be like, all right, so here's the plan, Big Daddy, we're going to go this way and we're going to do that. And then, wait, where do you go?

Can a rocket lift a Big Daddy? Well, that's the other problem with this thing. So that's honestly a good choice because the rocket's going to be struggling, man. They're like, we've got a weight limit here. If he even shows up. He could do the, like, the EVAs, you know, if he needed to. So he's got the suit already. Yeah.

I don't know if that's rated for space versus underwater, but. it's rated enough it's all yeah pressure I mean space I mean isn't isn't the depths of the sea a little bit more pressure

yeah they're actually exact opposites because this suit would be intended to take like to handle a ton of pressure but in space it would probably just explode instead right because it's like oh this was meant for deep sea not the absence of

whoops it yeah halfway out they make it to the asteroid everybody goes to step out and then big daddy just explodes in a cloud of the like well all right what are we going to do now he had the drill dang it he had the drill he had the drill he had the drill that's why we brought him we brought him because he had the drill down for the asteroid to save

the day and then he exploded that was the plan negative pressure that was dutch's plan all along All right. It's going to drill for a hand. Yeah, this is your last one, Ryan. This will complete your team. Okay. So this one, this person is a very capable person. Very well trained, very well versed in the art of combat and doing a lot of that out in space.

Doing what needs to be done. I'm going to go with quiet. that. Familiar solid? You just put a sniper in space? Because if I'm on the mission, what's mission over, man? Ryan's like, look, forget the planet.

I've been busy. Sorry. We got other things going on. All right, Ryan. I'm just going to move on for Ryan's last pick here. Why did the world in? Well, you see, Ryan. Ryan wanted to get an early start at repopulation.

Yeah. He thought we were needing to populate Mars and he got his missions confused. Oh, wait, this is mission B? Oh, what? Yeah, this is, oh, I'm on the wrong crew. Dang it. This is to save, this is to try to stop the asteroid. Oh, man.

All right. Well, quiet is, that's a choice, right? So basically with my, that was a choice. With my team, nothing's getting done. All over all over all. It's getting done. happening. Well, we'll make a new team. It's okay.

Oh, man. All right. All right. This is getting way out of this. Oh, my gosh. Okay. All right. Well, this has gone off the rails. I don't even know what to do now. Ace. Ace. I think it's your pick. The one thing you can't possibly ruin within a spacecraft is the air quality, right?

I mean, that's the one thing you got going for you. So why not bring along Wario? He wants to come along on the message. I did think about Wario, dude. I was trying to like, what's the stinkiest, just grossest character? I think Wario takes the cake for stinkiest grossest character, unless we're counting the Great Mighty Pooh from Conquers Pad Furt. Yeah.

Wario would just, Wario's the guy that would start stealing stuff out of the rocket ship. You just start disassembling the rocket ship to go sell pieces. What happened to our return? turn home beacon. I'm like, I'm going to win. This is so much money. You want to return home, you pay me.

All right. Okay, Wario, that's a good pick. I was wondering if Wario was going to make an appearance on this. That was on my big list for sure. Guys, believe it or not, I'm out of super annoying voice characters. I know that's hard to believe. but then I did want to go like this guy's probably useless in space. So I am picking a guy that, you know, in zero gravity is not going to be able to do a darn thing.

I'm taking Rayman from Rayman Legends because his arms and his feet are going to just float away in the vacuum of space. And he's just going to be sitting there as just a useless torso. So I 100% thought you were going to say Wheatley. No, no, no, no, I like Wheatley. Wheatley would probably actually come up with something cool, even though Wheatley would also be a maniac. Yeah, that's true. Just be sitting there floating around. You're like, oh, great.

I'm just floating around. I actually love Wheatley's voice actor, you know, like that, that, like. He's a cool dude. I like him. Yeah, I needed annoying or useless in this case. So Rayman, I love Rayman. This is not slandered Rayman, but when you get into zero gravity and Rayman's arms, his hands in His feet just float off.

It's just going to, yeah. It's just going to be like, oh, no, what do I do? And then they're just gone. And then he's just floating there. Has Rayman gone to space before? I don't think so. I don't think so either. And there's probably a reason why, Ace.

Because his lips would float away. It just float off. I'm just thinking about how funny it would be to take like an Assassin's Creed character and send him to space, like from the Renaissance. They're just like, oh, just be like, what the heck is this? What's going on? Yeah. What is this?

It's just constantly that bird sound. Forever. Yeah, because he's just over and he's just falling all, all that. He just keeps trying to dive and he's looking for hay. He's looking for hay to fall into. That's so good. This is the longest jump ever. That's so good.

I've been falling for 30 minutes. All right, boys. So let me summarize these teams. So here is our team. Listen, we need the listeners to vote on who they think had the best team. Okay. So Ryan's probably going to put a poll. Ryan's going to, or the.

worst team exactly. So Ryan will put a poll in the episode, but we also want you to comment on whose team you think is the greatest team to completely botch this mission, the worst team imaginable to try to save the planet. Ryan's team is Pac-Man, the adoring fan, Dutch, the Big Daddy, and out of left field, quiet. Oh, man. And then Aces team is patches, junk rat, slippy toad, Zote and Wario, and my team is

Navi, Pimon, Diane, Tingle, and Rayman. Guys, I think we did a pretty good job. We did. Just these teams suck, dude. I want a percentage. I want to see a graph with percentage of success.

Right. That's what I want to see. Oh, yeah. We should make. each one of a team and then throw me to chat. Okay, that's what we should do is plug these into AI. Yeah. Plug into AI and say which of these teams has the greatest chance of success in completing this mission.

I love it. Josh, you also missed out on for annoying characters with voices is Atreus. Yeah. No, see, Atreus is annoying because he's the kid that thinks he knows better than his parent, which, you know, we all deal with from time of time. Oh. We're doing God stuff. Also, clap trap.

See, I like clap. And I knew somebody who's going to mention clap trap, but I like clap trap. And so I wasn't going to do that to my boy. You're going to stick him on a on a shuttle with Diana. Yeah, I'm not doing that. Poor clap trap, man. I got more respect for that guy than I do. You guys got any honorable mentions for we?

No, because I came underprepared for this. Thank goodness. I have a million. Thank goodness. I can't believe that two of my people were on y'all's list. Yeah, too one of you had taken one. I would have lucky. We didn't hit them first.

I know. I'll hit my honorables. I got Trevor Phillips. That was going to be an interesting one. Tom Nook, he would probably charge his rent on the spaceship. He'd try to figure out a way to make money off of it. Micah Bell, Ultimate. Micah was a good honorable mention.

He just wouldn't get on. Frogger. Frogger is, like, what is Frogger going to? What is Frogger going to do? Exactly. This is the worst. This is the worst. My Tune Town character, unless we needed Pye's throne,

Or fishing done, like nothing would have happened. My fable hero, he was pretty evil. And then, last been at least, Ace's mom. Oh, okay. That's not a video game character about it. Well, that's quiet. Quiet. That's the same as quiet.

That is a very high compliment you've given my own. Well, so you'd have to be to make such a specimen as you, buddy. Oh, okay. I don't know how to feel now, the reverse psychology. We're going to meet her for real. and we're going to be like, oh, we're sorry. I know. Or she's going to be like, let me check out this podcast that my son's on. And then she's going to be like, wait, what?

You're going to meet my poor mother in low lighting because she has vertigo and you just feel so bad. Yeah, right? Like, oh, my goodness. All right. Well, listen, you guys, it's in the hands of the listeners at this point. Let us know who you think crafted the worst team imaginable to win this draft. Thank you for hanging out with us. These are so much fun to do.

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