Video Gamers Podcast - [Flashback Friday] Best Characters to Hire - Video Games Podcast

Episode Date: October 6, 2023

It's another Flashback Friday episode. In this video game filled episode, we go head to head in a funny gaming tournament where we break down the best Video Game Characters to Hire, and what their perfect jobs would be. If you love gaming and love laughter, this is one video game episode you can’t miss. Thanks to our LEGENDARY Supporters: Redletter, Gaius214 and Nate Connect with the show: Support us on Patreon: patreon.com/videogamerspod Join our Gaming Discord: https://discord.gg/Dsx2rgEEbz Follow us on Instagram: instagram.com//videogamerspod Follow us on Twitter: twitter.com/videogamerspod Subscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCU12YOMnAQwqFZEdfXv9c3Q   Visit us on the web: https://videogamerspod.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Visit BetterHelp.com today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P.com. Everyone from the Video Gamers Podcast, listen to me. Skynet has sent a new machine. The only way we will defeat it is to go back in time and listen to our old favorite episodes. The future calls them Flashback Friday. Some may have different hosts, but it's okay. It'll still work to beat the T-1000. Come with me if you want to live.

Hello, everyone. Welcome to the Multiplayer Gaming Podcast. We love games, and if you're listening to this, we assume that you do too. So let's have some fun with this bonus round episode. Please make sure to rate our show 5 stars and leave a written review in Apple Podcasts. We also have a Patreon page where you can be a supporter of the show. You'll get a live shoutout on an episode when you sign up, and you will also get two bonus Squadcast episodes every single month. I am your host, Paul, and today the three of us are not podcasters. We are running an employment agency. As businesses have been looking to bring in more workers lately,

today we are going to turn to the world of video game characters to see where they would fit best in the business world. Coming up first, I am joined by Josh. Say hello to the people. Hello people. How was that? I can follow directions. Please hire me,

Paul. Very good job. A plus on, uh, on ability to follow directions. And with us, as always, the man who brainstormed the idea for this

episode, it's Michael. Thank you. Thank you. I didn't get any directions, so I don't know what to say. Hi. Hello, people. There, I followed Josh's directions. We're good, right? Absolutely. So this is our first draft and tournament that we've done in a while. I believe our last one was August 1st. I'm always surprised at how quickly time passes. So Josh, do you want to tell the people a little bit how these bonus round tournaments work? So we come up with a completely nonsensical idea because those are usually the most fun. And what we like to do is we will form our team. So basically what we do is we start off with a draft a la fantasy football or something like that, where we each pick a character and then

it goes on to the next person. Now we'll do it snake style to keep things fair. So if Paul is the last pick, then Paul gets the first pick in the next round. So he'll have back-to-back picks to kind of make up for going last. And we just do that until we draft a team. And then what we're going to do is we are going to pit our picks up against each other in a tournament-style format until one person's pick wins the entire tournament. That person gets to celebrate in their eternal glory, or at least for this episode anyway. And that's it. Yeah.

So we get to argue. We get to fight a little bit. We get to kind of, like I said, have some nonsense, humorous picks and things like that, and really just kind of argue our case and slander each other's picks as well. A little bit. Yeah. And I think it's been a minute since you've won one of these, Josh, because I... Oh, is the slandering starting already, Paul? Come on, you're going to lead with that? Fights. been a minute since you've won one of these josh because oh is the slandering starting already i i won the last one for best class with necromancer which ended up being like a little bit of a uh what's what i'm looking for controversy as it should be yeah i would say i would say half

the people said that is hands down clearly the best class and then the other half of the people had the weirdest picks for what they thought should win so it definitely generated a lot of discussion on discord but i think before that michael had won two in a row boom so because he lost so horribly on the ones beforehand that's probably true i had one yet until i was two first so we're coming back for revenge this time we're're going to take it. Yeah, I got this one in the bag, guys. So the idea for this one is characters that you would hire to work for a company. So the way this is going to work is we are going to say the character that we are drafting, and we are also going to include the title or at least the type of job that we are hiring them for. And I think that that also almost puts like a double layer to this draft.

It's not just the character. We also have some choice about what kind of job they're doing. And the draft order for this one is Josh, Michael, and then me for round one. So Josh, this is kind of a crazy draft to have the first overall pick i was what what what all the listeners didn't hear is me whining profusely before we started recording about how sometimes on a draft you want the first pick you know we did best villains and i think glados was the first pick the one and then one hands down because she's the best villain. Yeah. I got lucky there. Yeah. Some drafts.

It's so kind of subjective that there's no clear winner. And so I, I may have whined a little bit, you know, but now that we're recording, I'm just going to go into this fully confident sounding guys. You sound confident. Yes.

I, in fact, you exhume confidence on me now i am more confidence as confidence i am more confident as well i'm not exhuming anything michael because that's i don't like digging up dead bodies i don't even know what that word means but i feel it i feel confidence how do we even how do we even judge this by the way is it based on like who is like the most accurate like like if i pick a person their job like if that person is really good at that job would they be really good at it is that how we judge it or is it based on how ridiculous it is or how funny

we don't have rules here we're just gonna fight yeah this is a little bit like apples to apples or quiplash rules it's just going to be whatever we want to say so yeah if someone drafts lucio from overwatch to be a dj like yes that's very on the nose maybe that's a little too obvious i think we generally do recognize a certain layer of creativity so i think you have to be accurate but you also have to be a little bit creative if you want to win this draft i think that's the strategy yeah i would agree because i told my wife asked yeah and and she was like oh well you got to pick mario to be a plumber and i was like no baby no nobody's gonna do that and she was like but that's the and i was like yeah no that's not the point of this that's exactly

what i was good at yeah scratch hold on michael's michael's way of removing's removing Mario. Mercy as a doctor. Hold on. Koopa as a dinosaur. No, you can't hire a dinosaur. Hold on. All right. Dinosaur is not a job. Despite what Stepbrothers might say.

I'll try it with what I've got left. I'll do what I can. All right. So, Josh, you're going to start us off here, buddy. What are you going to take with the number one overall pick? There's not a clear first choice on this, but there is one that I'm a little worried you guys would dip into this character for something. So I'm going to take this character first.

Wait, if the character's gone but not the job, can you still take the character for a different job? Really? I think it's off the table. Oh, no, you're going to take my character right now, aren't you? I mean, I don't know. I hope so, but probably not. So I am taking Sonic as a door dasher.

Oh, man, that's good. I had him on my list as a gopher intern, because if you need to send someone to get your coffee, he's going to be back before you know it. Give me my food quick, man. The worst thing in the world is waiting for your food to show up. So if I've got Sonic as an employee that is just dashing all that food to people instantly i'm gonna make a ton of money yeah not a bad pick that's pretty good actually because he's gonna be quick even though he's gonna like tuck the food i'm sure there's some kind of bag you

can make for that he just tucks it in like in his body while he rolls around yeah you know and he'll get there quick he's he's a he's a friendly, so people would be happy to see him show up. Tips galore. I mean, let's be honest. He's just going to run there, so we don't have to worry about gas or pollution or any of those costs either. So really the ideal employee for being a Door Dasher. He hit us with the green, too.

Dang it. The green and the green money and the environment. Yeah. I mean, if you guys vote against him, by the by the way i'm just gonna say you both hate the planet so and animals by the way i think you're gonna be stuck on the door dash update your dasher is waiting for your order that's gonna be the biggest delay but it's just there instantly like this app sucks it never updates properly sonic is approaching with your order please wear a mask for precaution and then he's already ringing the doorbell yeah yeah all right i like it that's a good pick sonic was definitely on my list so uh i certainly can good can can appreciate it off your list paul all right michael number two overall pick what are you taking man

i'm between two different ones that i think you might take one of them and so i'm oh which one do i like more i like this one more i'm gonna pick kim katsuragi from disco elysium he's gonna be my lawyer here's why the reason why kim katsuragi make a great lawyer i feel like i can talk to him aside from a chuckle he's gonna he's not gonna judge me you know clearly clearly he's gonna be on my side because you know how hairy he is like whatever i did wrong he's gonna be like you know what i got you he's a genius when it comes to the rules so i don't i don't think he can't win you know can't like learn the rule book but here's the biggest thing is at the end of the game not a spoiler but kind of a spoiler he's gonna he's gonna make those naysayers believe no matter what i did that they're on my side i think i think he's gonna be a good lawyer i think

that's a great job for kim katsuragi aside from being a police officer book it he's in the he's in the lawyer he's a good advocate definitely an eye for detail i feel like he'd be very good at paperwork as well yeah i was gonna say he he's got an eye for detail i think probably your your biggest downside here is that um he certainly has not served as a lawyer so it's gonna be a little bit of a new job for him yeah he'll be fine he's gonna he's good at new things i mean he's good at partnering with an amnesiac detective so cops should know the law too so yeah it's not too big of a stretch no no it's not all right well i like where you're going with this michael and uh you know what let's keep the disco at least in train roll i knew it i am drafting harry dubois to be my internal affairs director slash company events

coordinator so we're gonna get a two-for-one with harry if uh we think someone in the company is stealing funds they're embezzling maybe someone's stealing too many post-its guess who's gonna be able to figure it out no matter what it's harry it's gonna take a while harry doesn't even need any clues guys he's gonna be talking to keyboards he's gonna say tell me who's who's stealing the money and the keyboards are gonna tell him he's gonna be talking to keyboards he's going to say tell me who's who's stealing the money and the keyboards are going to tell him he's going to be able to solve any internal affairs issues at all now i know what you're thinking is he going to be drinking on the job yes probably this is why he is also the company events coordinator harry knows how to have a good time

all right i would like to go to one of Harry's events. It's either going to be great or terrible. Either he forgot everything, and there's just a bunch of people standing around with PBRs or something like that. That's the best he could do, because he forgot, and it was short notice. Or it's going to be brilliant. I love it. He knows the best alcohol brands. He can get his hands on any, let's just say electrochemistry substances that you want.

He is your man. And he knows how to karaoke and have a good time. He's got everything you would want. So he's going to handle the one-two punch, internal affairs, and company events coordinator. And I'm going to lock that one in with my first pick. I did not see two disco characters going in the top that was pretty funny man also i like how you gave him a dual role that's very corporatey where it's like this is your main job but we're gonna need you to handle company events as well harry oh yeah yeah we're going two for one we're getting our money's worth out of these positions all right so that'll be my first pick and then on the way back since i get my two

in a row start of the second round i am going i'm gonna draft claptrap from borderlands and claptrap is my company janitor oh you loser he was on your list josh yes he was on the list not for that job but i had were you going to take him for? I was going to make him a bartender. Motivational speaker? No, I was going to be a bartender. Oh, that's funny. Like R2 in Return of the Jedi.

He's going around serving drinks. He's chipper. He's dancing. He's bringing you your drinks. I mean, if you're having a bad day, which is probably what happens when you go to a bar, right? He's going to cheer you up and all that. I mean, I guess if you want to make him, right? Like he's going to cheer you up and all that. So, but I mean, I guess if you want to make him a boring janitor, Paul, go ahead.

I feel like his chipperness is wasted on a janitor role. Yeah. Yes. Thank you, Michael. Nope. This is where you're wrong. Okay. First of all, Claptrap has no discernible skills whatsoever. They make that very clear. He is not a skilled skilled worker i'm not so sure he can mix drinks josh but i think he can certainly be a glorified roomba i think this is basically what he already is so i think that's going to translate very well let's say we just we also just lost all the janitors sorry robots listening oh man phobic, janitor phobic. Don't worry, I'll pick up on the next pick. So here's the thing. He is always so happy.

He's going to boost all company morale. He's going around cleaning while everyone's still working. He's going to be chatting it up. He's going to be talking about how much he loves this job and how great it all is. And also, he's not a person, so we don't have to pay him. So just imagine how much we're going to save on Social Security, Medicare, and unemployment tax. This is a win all around hiring Claptrap as janitor.

I can't believe you stole Claptrap from me, man. I was like, I didn't think either one of you was going to find a job for him. Dude, Claptrap gets taken in every single one of our drafts, no matter what. Yeah, because he's great. He pops up. All right. I think we're ready to move on here.

Michael, you get the second pick in the second round. What are you going for? Well, if robots were out on the last pick, hopefully listening now, because I am picking GLaDOS to run my in-home security network. Or my corporate securityados to run my in-home security network or my corporate security but mostly my in-home security because i mean enough said right if the thieves are coming to my house they're either going to be toast in no time or they're going to be so insane they're going to leave because it's too much trouble also uh you know speaking

of a connected home i'll get a laugh from time to time because she's much more clever of an ai than siri or alexa so any of those around the house like hey siri tell me the weather today home, I'll get a laugh from time to time because she's much more clever of an AI than Siri or Alexa. So any of those around the house like, hey, Siri, tell me the weather today. GLaDOS is going to give me something funny at least too because I think that kind of comes as a two-for-one package that I can talk to her, but mostly because nobody's going to break into my house.

My stuff is safe. My family's safe. She might go a little crazy, but if she's been hired by me to do her job, I think she'll be fine. That's going to stay until she tries to murder you. No, it's not going to murder me. I mean, what's a little crazy, but if she's been hired by me to do her job, I think she'll be fine. I was going to say until she tries to murder you. No, it's not going to murder me. I mean, what's a little murder for a home security system? It's fine. The only thing that I was worried about is that you're going to go that line, but I think it's a good pick, so I'm sticking with it.

I actually had GLaDOS on my list, but I had her as a baker. What? As a baker? Yes, because you do everything you do in portal for the cake and so if she can make a cake that enticing then she needs to be a baker because she'd be the best baker in the world that's pretty good so we've got glado says what'd you say like head of security yeah i had a security okay got it maybe she's my in-home security like software or hardware whatever she's ahead of security she's all of it sure i do think that there's a little bit of a

chance glados might troll you every now and again i feel like she could hack her way into your thermostat maybe like crank it up to 90 in the middle of the night uh that might be a little bit of a of a risk here with glados but i like it could make life fun though that's she was on her toes all right we are back to josh with the last pick of round two of course you get your picks back to backs all right so this next one's super easy i'm taking the spaceship from elite dangerous as a hypnotist no i'm just kidding i'm not really, it hurts. Nothing else in the world could make me fall asleep faster. Oh, man. Very nice. Oh, I'm kidding.

All right. It's not a multiplayer gaming podcast episode if we don't stab you once. I was going to say, I had to really work that in there. So, all right. This one, I kind of like this one, guys. I'm taking Link from Legend of Zelda as a landscaper. And you guys know it. All right.

Because how many patches of grass did you guys chop down looking for rupees? How many pots did you lift up so that you could smash down looking for rupees? This guy knows his landscaping. He knows his grass. He knows his plants. He knows his bushes and his trees because you're always smacking those hoping something falls out of them as well. He is the landscaper extraordinaire due to all of the experience he has. Nobody else is better in the business. Plus, he wears green all the time. I mean, his whole image is just... it screams landscaper to me

are you concerned that he's gonna cut the bushes too short because hey man he tends to just chop them out straight from the ground then i don't have to pay him to come back for a long time landscaping you're gonna pay him once to rip out all the shows yeah man but you know like i said all he's got to do is just charge that up and go, and then he spins around and your yard is trimmed. You're good to go. Yeah, I was playing lawnmower simulator, and I was like, can I get a landscaper in here? I didn't find anyone for landscaping, so that's perfect. I'm glad you did.

So, I mean, I don't know what other job he'd be a natural for, but that's the one that comes to my mind. Makes sense. All right, and then so now we're starting round... Three? Round three. Fastest we've ever gone through some rounds. You know, it wouldn't be an episode if we didn't troll Michael

for Elite Dangerous. And it wouldn't be an episode if I didn't take my guy, Kratos, as a guidance counselor. Oh no. Guidance counselor. What better listener

is there? You got a problem? Come talk to Kratos. He's just gonna nod. If you're a kid, because let's be honest, guidance counselors, they're in school. He's gonna listen to your problems. He's gonna say, boy. Which to listen to your problems. He's going to say, boy, which is going to be very motivating. He's going to tell you what to do. He's going to say, hey, pick yourself up by your

britches and climb that mountain, attack that giant, those kinds of things. I think he'd make a phenomenal guidance counselor. Plus, he's cool to hang out with. People aren't like, oh, I don't want to go talk to the guidance counselor. He's just a really good listener, guys. I did have Kratos on my list as a doorman because no one's getting past Kratos if he's guarding the front door. I will say as guidance counselor, I'm a little concerned. He may not know the tech industry terribly well and know where to plug you in in today's world. But I do hear you, Josh. He certainly is quick to hear and slow to speak. And that's what you need, man. I don't need no guidance counselor trying to boss me around and

not listening to my problems or anything like that. He's in touch with the natural world, so he understands things that are going on. I think he can understand technology. The guy's got a magical axe and blades that come on fire. You think that's magic? There's technology behind that, man. That guy is really a tech wizard. Magic, maybe. I don't know.

Fantasy? Fantasy tech? Is that magic? Yeah, sure. I think it's magic yes you think those are runes on that axe those are circuits man and if we want to we could call him um those are raspberry pies on the ends of those blades oh my goodness now i know that we definitely had a lot of debating on whether or not kratos was a good father because i would say father and guidance counselor there's a lot of overlap

there. My argument was always that Kratos is actually a pretty terrible father. He will protect you physically, but he's not providing any real emotional guidance or laying out a path for you in life. Atreus seems to be turning out okay.

He made it to the sequel. He is alive. He climbed the sequel. He is alive. He climbed the mountain. He's alive. He's a good fighter. He got over his sickness. Yeah, maybe. So, I mean, what more can you want, Paul?

Cut the guy some slack. All right, we'll see how long Kratos lasts in this as a guidance counselor. I mean, the easy thing would have been like Lumberjack or Doorman or something like that. We did see him carry a 7,000 pound tree over his shoulder. How many crates did he smash open in Splinterwood? The guy could be a Lumberjack, Paul,

but that's a little too easy. I mean, he could be a manscaped underwear model. Oh, he could. I mean, you don't wear no shirt ever. All right. Michael, round three, pick two. Who are you taking for your third pick?

Back to me. This might land flat or it might work really well because I'm just thinking of, would this person be the perfect person for this job? Yes. Is it a good job? No. Well, it's a good job, but not the way he'll treat it i just purchased myself a waffle house franchise right i need a chef in this waffle house franchise who better to be an abusive waffle house chef than trevor phillips oh my goodness i mean it does kind of

fit waffle house i mean he's gonna he's gonna sit you know how they have that window you can look through like no one's giving him crap he's going to sit. You know how they have that window you can look through? Like, no one's giving him crap. He's going to give it right back. The truck drivers come in at 2 or 3 o'clock in the morning. They're going to get their food just fine. He's going to smell better than the place, maybe. But yeah, Trevor Wynn Phillips. I think he fits in an abusive Waffle House, Jeff.

Very, very well. And I'm just going to go with that. He will be indistinguishable from the patrons of the right house i will say to him yeah i would be a little worried he's not going to show up for all his shifts that's that's a concern could be or just dirty underwear and the food too yeah i mean if anyone complains about the food, they might end up with a bullet to the head. Right. All right.

Trevor Phillips says Waffle House Chef. I did not see Waffle House Chef being one of the titles, but I like it. As an abusive Waffle House Chef. That's the key part of it. Yeah, it's in the job description. Must be crotchety and angry. So you see this as like teppanyaki. It's now a show and waffles because trevor is also going to be abusive is this kind of how you picture it yeah yeah you know he's just it's just it's the way he is you know sure oh good old trevor he tends to

tell he robs the place every night too yeah my waffle house is not going to be that sustainable for very long no it's going to get burned to the ground or it's not going to show up. That's a short-lived job, I think. All right, end of round three for my third pick. I am going to go with my boy, Micah Bell. He's going to be a part of my company. I considered a couple guys from Red Dead. Well, here's what he's going to be part of my company i considered a couple guys from red dead well yeah here's what he's gonna be for me guys he is my head of hr and he is also my conflict resolution mediator he's gonna he's gonna be doing double double double dirty double duty

so here's the thing if micah is in charge of hr and he's doing you know the the hiring of employees if you can make it to the end of an interview with micah bell i think you deserve to get hired i think this is going to be a good vetting process i feel like the big thing would be if you went to him with a complaint, he would just be like, suck it up, Black Lung. Precisely why he is also the conflict resolution mediator. If two people are having a problem with each other or they have a conflict, if you put those two people in a room with Micah, I don't know how many people are walking out of the room, but I guarantee you there's no longer a conflict. That conflict is done. It's been

handled one way or another. There is no conflict after that meeting with Micah. It's true. When one person's dead, there's no more conflict. That does help. Or both dead. So essentially, it's a check yes or no. Was the conflict resolved? Yes. 100% success rate. It's always going to be

resolved. That's all that matters. That's true. I don't care how. He's probably very good at that job. Yeah. So, you know, that's it. Michael Bell, head of HR and conflict resolution mediator. And now we are in the last round. So with my last pick here, boy, I've got a lot of honorable mentions. We're going to have to spend a little bit of time on that here in a minute.

But for my last pick, I am going to go with Bowser. And he is going to be the overseer of construction. So whenever we need to build a new office building, Bowser is going to be the overseer of the job. Have you guys seen the castles that Bowser gets built? Have you guys seen the castles that bowser gets built have you guys seen these they're full of fireballs uh water death pits floating bridges exotic flying fish i mean bowser there's secret passageways to get quickly from one area of the castle to another i mean bowser's got to know the best contractors in town.

So what you're saying is that your office building will be full of flying fish, pits, fireballs, and lava. That does sound deadly. Deadly, deadly places. Well, we're not going to use those in these office buildings. I'm just saying Bowser knows the contractors who get things done. They are creative, they are resourceful, and we're going to use their powers for good. And guess what? Contractors famously don't always stick to their timetable, right? Guess who's going to be able to motivate those contractors to finish the job? Are you going to

go to Bowser and tell him it's going to be another three weeks until they get back to your house because of delays guarantee you it's not happening. And if that job comes back being a lot higher than the estimate, I'm pretty sure Bowser's going to be able to, uh, just keep it at the lower rate. So with Bowser, we're coming in under budget.

We're going to be ahead of schedule. Uh, Bowser is a win, win here, guys. And filled with lava and fireballs no you guys are so focused on the lava i'm not saying i want lava but i want the contractor who knows how to get lava because he's also gonna know how to get all the other things

you had me to lava but doesn't every bowser level have lava yes okay just making sure so so lava okay we're good so you're gonna have all right you guys know what i mean what if he what if he tries to eat me does he eat people he's a dinosaur though dinosaur like he's he's a turtle dragon thing a turtle dragon i had i actually did have bowser as one on my list i had him as a winemaker because he can stomp grapes like nobody's business that's really

good he would be able to stop oh man i wish i was creative and clever dang it trevor in your waffle house um i am googling uh turtle uh turtle dragon turtle dragon right now but yeah famous turtle dragons he's got to be part dragon and what's he got on his back guys spiky turtle shell yeah thank you

yeah all right well we are roughly halfway through the episode so we are going to take a short break and we will be right back with more multiplayer gaming podcast rejuvenate your life with a vacation to the dominican republic taste the paradise and escape your regular routine with air transit's best deals to the destination of your choice puntacana la romana puerto plata and samana a dazzling blend of white and gold sand beaches impressive mountain ranges spectacular waterfalls and the very best cuisine book today your vacation with air transit at airtransit.com conditions apply all right fellas we are back continuing our draft here we have two final picks in the draft michael you are on your last pick now. What are you going for?

I had to bring one home and not necessarily go with the comedic value, but just go with this is a very appropriate job for this person. This person is 2B from Nier Automata. It's going to be pretty simple. She's my bodyguard. The reason why... I thought you were going to give her a mannequin. Oh, yes. yes oh that's so

literal though it worked really well hold still yeah hold that sword that looks way too heavy for you giant sword uh no first of all i'm gonna look really good standing next to her because first of all she's an awesome robot smoke show uh she's incredible with a katana so nobody obviously if anyone tries to to get near me there it's gonna to be sliced in like 14 pieces. She's a robot, so she doesn't have fear of getting hurt. And a fearless bodyguard is pretty cool. And if something does happen to her, we just download her consciousness into a new 2B, and I got another bodyguard. And the added bonus, because of her super strength, she can also help me move if I need to move. Because, you know, I mean, you've seen the stuff that she has to pick up.

Like, the swords weigh like 1,000 pounds. She does it like nobody's business. So 2B is my bodyguard slash occasional moving help. Blending the line between personal and business. I was going to say, yeah. The smoke show doesn't have anything to do with it, right, Michael? I'm paying her. I'm paying her.

No, honey. 2B is only here because I need help moving. She's only here to help. I got a really good rate, honey. You don't have to worry about a thing. She's just standing there. Never mind Agent 46 put in an application as a bodyguard, and he didn't get the job.

Yeah, I thought about nines, too, but I was like, oh, Tubi. She's there. Very nice. All right, well, we are on our final pick of the draft Josh who are you going to end us off with alright I have two left thankfully nobody took either one of these so I can just I can say what both

of them are actually I have Kirby as a mover because he can suck up anything and then just move it around so Kirby's moving service would be quite handy that's pretty good and then I also have Doomguy as an exterminator. He can exterminate demons. Pests got nothing on this guy. Exactly. And that would actually be the slogan. As much as I think Kirby would be a good mover, I have to go with Doomguy as an exterminator. Because if I've got

ants, I know I'm not going to have ants anymore after Doomguy comes by. I also know I'm probably not going to have a house anymore either, but you know what? That means the ants are gone. And if you have to perform any exorcisms in the office, Doomguy's got you covered. That's on the menu for side services. Easy, easy. Just in case.

Yeah, exactly. Plus, I feel like he would bring a really epic soundtrack along with him as he's exterminating everything in the house as well. He's got a boombox. Yeah. I mean, it's just blasting heavy metal as he's just wasting roaches and ants and whatever else. Termites or whatever. Scorpions. I don't have to be afraid of scorpions in Arizona anymore.

Yeah. Doomguy just goes... Scorpions are the worst. Dude, Doomguy goes out back with the BFG. Just... Bye-bye, scorpions. Get out of my yard. If anybody in the United States or anybody in the world thinks that spiders are awful,

try scorpions. They're awful. They have an exoskeleton. It's crunchy when you kill them. And it's terrible. Spiders are like little tiny clown scorpions. Yeah, I don't mind spiders. No, but scorpions?

Scorpions are like the wasps to bees. Scorpions are to spiders as wasps are to bees. Spiders and bees serve a purpose. Wasps and scorpions do not. Yeah, and we have the bark scorpion in Phoenix, which is the only scorpion that will climb walls and jump on top of you. It will literally fall out of a tree on your shoulder.

It's happened to me. Not with Doomguy's exterminator service. Nope. Doomguy wins pretty well on me. Round four has gone pretty well with Doomguy because you brought up scorpions. Call today, mention code multiplayer and he'll give you a 10% discount too, Michael. Oh, sweet. Okay, I'll call.

Get $50 off your first treatment. Doomguy doesn't have a name, does he? It's just whatever your character name is. Doomguy. First name Doom. So when he shows up, he can be like, what's up, Doomguy? He just fist bumps you. That's it. Because he doesn't really talk.

He's no nonsense. Yeah yeah i'm all for it we recently found a couple black widows in our house and so our family's been on like high alert they they've not been happy about it but luckily no scorpions but the baby scorpions are the most uh is it toxic or venomous venomous is it venomous venom yeah i think they they release more of the venom because they haven't learned how much to put out yet so they go they go all in yeah baby scorpions don't don't mess with them hire hire doom guy today all right well do you guys have any other honorable mentions because i got a couple on my list i do as well why don't you go first you know all right you always go last talking of scorpions boy what a what a nice segue here i was thinking about hiring scorpion as my fishing boat captain slash harpooner so he's gonna harpoon so good and he's a bad guy so i'm not

saying that i'm gonna go hunting for like whales or dolphins or things that you aren't supposed to hunt i'm just saying scorpion's a bad guy he's gonna be willing to do it and he's got unlimited harpoons so i think he would fit the bill that's a good pick yeah what about you michael what'd you have on on your list i got a couple more but we can go back and forth just go back and forth um i have the hero of kvatch just kidding he's not on here i just wanted to say it um i have aloy as my wife uh but you can't really hire a wife unless it's like a like a mail ride aloy i'm seeing a trend here michael glados i know all these hot how did you not pick

for something uh trust me i spent a long time... Lara Croft is my maid. Personal assistant, obviously. I spent... Yeah, she's my antiquarian. Don't you guys have an antiquarian around the house? Who goes and looks for antiques? Oh, I was going to say, what on earth is an antiquarian? But I guess that makes sense. Antiquarian is an archaeologist,

but for profit. Doesn't do it for studying. They do it for the museums. They're bad guys now.. Doesn't do it for studying. Yeah. So they're museums. They're bad guys now. No, they do it. They do it to sell the stuff.

Oh, sorry. The other way around. Bad guys, bad guys. Yeah. All right. Very nice.

I like it. Thank you. Josh, Josh mentioned agent 46. I think he meant agent 47, but I had him on my list. What's one number? I mean,

there had to have been an Agent 46 before there was an Agent 47, Paul. Yeah, like 007. Yeah, exactly. I should have said truth, yes. Agent 47 would be fantastic at corporate espionage because he's going to be able to walk into any of my nemesis corporations.

He's going to walk in the front door. And within five minutes, I feel like he's going to be roaming the executive offices. He's going to be able to knock people out and put on their clothes in less than four seconds. And he's going to work his way around. He's going to be able to steal any corporate secrets I need. I think he's going to be fantastic. And he's not going to leave a trace. He's going to get in, get the info, get out. They're never going to know he was there and I'm going to be all the better

off by having agent 47 on my side. Do you have any others, Michael? Yeah, I had a Fontaine or Atlas from Borderlands. Okay. No, not Borderlands.

I'm sorry. Bioshock. Bioshock. I always mix up those games. I don't know. They both start with B, but that's it. Bioshock. Bioshock. I always mix up those games. I don't know why. They both start with B. That's it. That's why.

And there's syllables in them too, like multiple. Maybe a space. I was going to have him as a wedding planner because you know how wedding planning is? Things have to get done. And all he's got to really say is, would you kindly? And the caterer is going to get it done. All these people are going to get their stuff done. And the bride's going to be not Bride Zillow Mode.

She's going to be like, Fontana Atlas, you're good to go. Everything got done. So I thought that was really effective. And it's going to be very polite. I did have Big Daddy as a nanny way, way down on my list. Yeah. Nice. I could certainly see that as well.

Yeah. On my list, I've got two other ones. I thought Pac-Man as office nutritionist would work really well. The dude eats all day, never gains a single ounce of weight. And if your office ends up being haunted, he's going to take care of the ghosts. So similar to Doom Guy with your exorcisms, Pac-Man's got you covered for ghost busting as well. And then my last one was Gordonordon freeman as my accountant payroll manager i figure if the dude can handle you know uh nuclear physics and all that stuff he can probably handle accounting

yeah yeah he can file my taxes any others on your list michael uh the last one that i had i it's not really a job so i I left it off. But I'd hire V, whether it be he or she, to run my notorious hacking group, Venonymous. Venonymous. Venonymous. That was great. It has real-life applications, too, because he or she can kick butt, show me how to shoot a gun. If anyone needs revenge, avenged, or just generally made an example of be the person to do

it. So it's kind of like a protection hacker. Like, hey, that person cut me off in traffic. No problem. Their bank account's been hacked. They don't have any money anymore. I've got it. But that seemed like not a realistic job. So I left it off the list. And my last one is, I don't know if I mentioned this, Aloy as my wife. Okay. We're doubling down on that one. My wife doesn't listen to the podcast, so we're doubling down on that one my wife doesn't listen to the podcast so we're good oh goodness don't worry i'll cut this chunk out and i'll send it to her all right so we now have our full draft done josh has drafted the following team sonic as

door dash driver link as landscaper Kratos as Guidance Counselor, and Doomguy as Exterminator. You're really coming in here with the blue-collar jobs here, Josh. I really like it. They're the lifeblood of our country. Yeah, absolutely. Paul, I'm so happy you're the host, because I could not have gotten through that list without laughing.

Yeah. These are all sentences I never thought I would say. Michael is coming in with Kim Kitsuragi as lawyer. GLaDOS as head of security. Trevor Phillips as Waffle House chef. Oof, that's a wild card. And Tubi as personal bodyguard. I like it.

Solid team. And my team is coming in. My team is much more like office jobs i feel like josh went for the trade jobs mine are all very much like inside a big giant office downtown we've got harry dubois bonkers yeah harry dubois as internal affairs slash company event coordinator we've got clap trap as janitor boy best use of his skills can i say we've got micah bell as head of hr and conflict resolution mediator and bowser as overseer of construction so guys all these picks make perfect sense that's all i've got to say i don't know how we're gonna pick a winner

they're all just so good all right you guys ready to start matching these up one-on-one i can't wait to slander all of you guys. All right. It's coming. March Madness style. I don't even know how we provide much commentary here other than just picking one for some reason. I don't know how to really compare apples to oranges.

Don't you worry. I can argue with a wall. All right. Well, obviously here, round one, match one. Sonic as DoorDash driver versus 2B as personal bodyguard. I mean, this is an easy one. Is that 2B? I'm not getting hurt.

Who's better at their job? Sonic. Who's providing a service to millions of people versus just Michael's fantasies? Nobody said we have to make money off this. I'm spending money on mine, but I'm protecting... Who's performing a job that keeps my family safe? No, it's your bodyguard. Right, but that bodyguard's...

Sonic is delivering food to hungry people throughout the world. Instantly. Two words, okay? Katana. One word. Two words. I had another word in there. I had another word before that.

I'm waiting for Michael? It was one word. I'm like, I was going to say one word. I waited for Michael to add the next word. And then he just covered it. Well, I got two words. Let's go back to this one. Yeah. Well, I got two words for you guys.

Sonic. Ah, two syllables. Not even two syllables, Katana. It's three. Oh, my goodness. I think we've got to give it to Sonic. I'm not as big of a 2B fan. I know a lot of people out there are.

Not so much for me. I'll just leave it at that. Androids don't do it for you, Paul? Not particularly. Plus, if you have a bodyguard that already has plans for if they die, I'm not really trusting them so much. I was hoping you'd just give it to Sonic, but if you didn't, I was going to mention the self-destruct

where she just self-destructs and then Michael dies, too. Yeah. Hey, at least I didn't see it coming. It was quick. But, I mean, as a bodyguard, you're not really looking for quick death. You're kind of trying to avoid the quick death.

Yeah, I think we're going to give Sonic the win for the first match. I think it's just because you couldn't stomach getting rid of a first round pick for a fourth round pick. Absolutely not. That's how I sleep tonight. I operate all these drafts with pure integrity, Michael. All right. Round one match to Kim Kitsuragi as lawyer versus Bowser as overseer of construction.

Kim Kitsuragi is the best lawyer on the planet because he's the best cop on the planet and he will be the best lawyer on the planet. Do those things automatically roll well into each other? Cop to attorney? I don't know. I don't think so. That is a stretch. I think it's more about a skill set, though. Look at his skill set.

You can go from one job to another, but look at his skill set like he's very meticulous he doesn't miss details you need that right he he provides comfort for the client they're gonna believe you're gonna believe like if he's like kim's like hey listen it's gonna be okay i'm gonna do the best i'm like i believe that guy he's a straight shooter but also not to mention he's really good at talking people into stuff like every time he talks in that game, when Harry's lost his mind, Kim just says two words and they're like, oh, the real authority's here. I'll go ahead and I comply.

I'm going to slander both of your picks here because... Oh, that's sad. Well, I think the leap from a cop to a lawyer is a big leap. Just because they're both in law doesn't mean that one is an expert at the law like a lawyer would be. is a big leap. It's, you know, just because like they're both in law, it doesn't mean that one is a expert at the law, like a lawyer would be, but a lawyer also needs to be able to be like argue.

And I feel like Kim is just so timid that he wouldn't be a good lawyer in court because he'd just be like, yes, your honor. Thank you. But, but he doesn't have to be a litigator. He can be an attorney. That's like behind the scenes. Is he like a maritime lawyer then? That's what you're saying. Thank you. But he doesn't have to be a litigator. He can be an attorney that's behind the scenes. Is he like a maritime lawyer then?

Is that what you're saying? Hold on. What is that? And then, Paul, Bowser, I'd like your angle on that. This is such a good pick. It is a great pick. Except that overseer? Is that a career? Is that a job?

Name one overseer that you know in real life paul uh my father-in-law is an overseer of construction i call that a foreman yeah like a foreman similar to a foreman yes my point is just that bowser i'm not drafting him as a construction worker he's not out there physically building my office buildings. I'm just saying he is a man that gets stuff done. He is going to oversee the project, and he knows all the contractors. They're going to get these jobs done. He's got the hookups. That's primarily what I'm getting here with Bowser, and we're going to have the best offices on the planet if we have Bowser overseeing the project. Alright, here's how I'm going to break this tie, because I'm assuming that you guys are each voting for

yourselves, and so I'm the tying vote. Michael? No, Paul's voting for me. Name one famous lawyer, Michael. Oh, that's easy. Clarence Darrow. Okay, Paul, name one famous overseer. What does it matter how famous they are? It's how well they do the job.

Overseer is not a job job of course it's a job overseer yes of course project manager do you prefer that title i do prefer project director prefer the proper term for it i i'm gonna give it all right i'm giving it to paul what yeah i don't think he would make a good lawyer man man. He's a great cop. But here's the thing. That argument is bogus because, like, okay, so Link is a landscaper. So Link, well, hold on. Let's pick like, let's pick Kratos as a guidance counselor. But we're not to

that pick yet. You can say to that pick all you want. But if your argument is that just because he does one job, he can't be good at another. Kratos is really good at killing people. Hey, man, if you don't have a good future, that's a handy skill. It's bogus. Kim Kitsuragi will be the best lawyer.

Michael's got some very good arguments coming up in a couple matches because we're going to see GLaDOS versus Kratos, and Josh's arguments here might backfire on him. Yeah, they're going to backfire bad. I'll make sure they do. It's going to hurt. All right. Round one, match three.

We've got Harry Dubois as internal affairs director slash company events coordinator. Yes, I'm going to say that every time we bring him up. Versus Doomguy as exterminator. One of these is best argument against doom guy doom guy is like uh i don't know that he's gonna be the best exterminator because he's blowing stuff up you yourself said he's gonna take the bfg to your backyard you're gonna have to hire link to redo all your landscaping he's gonna blow holes in the ground everywhere paul that's two people that now are working together it's a racket yeah like when the mafia uh have

like the kid break all the windows in town that way the window repair shop has to fix them all i can slaughter in multiple ways he's not it's not just the bfg you know he can rip things in half easy enough he can punch them he's got a pistol that's very accurate he's gonna shoot all the cockroaches harry dubois as much as i love the character i feel like this guy is actually going to be very unreliable doom guy if you hire doom guys an exterminator you don't have bugs anymore if you hire harry dubois to be... Internal Affairs Director slash Company Events Coordinator. That's a column just so I can read the entire title. I didn't even put the whole title in here because it's too long.

You just expanded it and it's just nothing. It's really... Slash Company Events Coordinator. There you go, Josh. You're going to have to make it so much larger. I was going to put this out on the Twitter and have people vote, but now I can't because that won't fit on one tweet. You're going to hit that sweet character limit there. I just think Harry's going to be unreliable, man.

I think he's going to get wasted. He's going to forget about the party that he tried to set up. He's going to go disco, man. And then he's going to fall on the floor. It's a corporate environment corporate people are kind of stuffy you know you and i have been there paul not everybody is a lightened up kind of person man some people are like i'm trying to get my work done harry keeps distracting me you know angela martin's of the world will not like him in the office uh here's

here's my only counter argument with har. Harry is an unconventional dude. Yes. Is he going to show up on time? No, he might be drinking on the job, but with Harry, you're not buying the process. You're buying a result. Harry will solve any internal affairs issues you have going on. He will solve it for you. It might not be in the way that you expect but he gets the job

done nine times out of ten name a pest that doom guy can't take care of uh exactly bugs how's he gonna take care of bed bugs he's gonna shoot him dude yeah he's just gonna get rid of the whole bed all right michael so you're gonna have to solve this for us. All right. So, Josh, please name a famous exterminator. That's not John Goodman from Arachnophobia. Truly Nolan. It's not. This one's hard. This one's hard

for me. His name is Truly Nolan. Nolan comma Truly. This one's hard because I feel like as an eternal event... Eternal events. Every time you're making a point for Paul, you have to say the entire title. You can do it. No, but I feel like as an internal affairs person, he's perfect. You're not buying the process.

We know his success rate in policing and investigation is incredible. It's even better than Kim Kitsuragi, the best lawyer in the world. But as a company events coordinator, I don't know if I can buy into that because that event's not happening. It's literally going to be like what I said. That being said, I'm really trying hard to go against Josh here

because I'm upset that he just easily, nonchalantly just said, your first round pick, which is perfect, just goes away because I'm just going to say that. After I named a famous lawyer lawyer and Paul couldn't even name a famous whatever he was supposed to name overseer a famous overseer 104. Maybe

director. I don't know. I do guy is a great exterminator, but I got to give it to Harry Dubois just because it is so that's a bitterness pick. I said it wasn't. Harry Dubois. Yes. Just because it is so perfect for him to... That's a bitterness pick. I said it wasn't. It wasn't.

I fully endorse it. I want internal affairs to investigate Michael's choice. Blasphemy. We're consummate professionals. No, I did... I almost said no because the company events coordinator, though, but I think he fits so well with internal affairs that it works for me they're just gonna grease his palm man and then he's gonna take the money he's not gonna solve the case that guy's not always on the up and up

now we're talking about liberated and uh reformed and refined harry debois for the end of my playthrough all right yeah my favorite part about this draft is that our google sheet now has such wide entries in these cells that i now have to maximize it and it barely fits on my monitor so harry dubois goes through as internal affairs director slash company events coordinator and now we are up to round one match four claptrap as janitor versus trevor phillips as waffle House abusive chef. Come on, Trevor. He's perfect. He's perfect.

Oh, my goodness, man. Claptrap's talents are wasted on janitorial. He has no skills. He does. They can't be wasted. I'm going to make this one quick. All right. Claptrap is a phenomenal character,

and Paul used him in the completely wrong usage. Oh, perfect usage. Trevor Phillips is the perfect Waffle House chef employee. I don't know how many times y'all have been to Waffle Houses, but I've been to a lot in my day. And I would 100% expect to see Trevor Phillips in a Waffle House. I'm giving it to Michael. He's there.

I 100% expect you to get food poisoning. Yes, but you go to Waffle House. I'm giving it to Michael. I 100% expect you to get food poisoning. Yes, but you go to Waffle House knowing this. Who goes to Waffle House and thinks they're getting a good hearty meal? If you don't go to Waffle House and within the next three hours have to evacuate something from

one of your orifices, you're doing it wrong. And Trevor, he's going to provide that for you. He ain't washing his hands. I'm giving it to Michael solely for the fact that he nailed the character being in the right place. Paul, I love Claptrap, but you gave him the wrong job. Thank you. I will

give extra consideration to your next vote. What skills exactly does Claptrap have that would serve well in the workforce? His personality. That's why, like I said, I had him as a bartender. That was the perfect spot for him. He's going to be talkative.

He's going to listen to your problems. He's always going to have the solution. He's mobile so he can serve drinks quickly. He's got a wheel. If he's a janitor, he's just going to leave a tire mark behind him everywhere he goes. That's not good at cleaning up. All right. I disagree, but you are entitled to

your opinion all right round one match five boy i gotta scroll over i can't see all this all right we've oh here we go glados as head of security versus kratos as guidance counselor kratos boy one of these seems very well suited for their job what is it crazy a horrible i love kratos and i love josh and i love how kratos looks like josh or josh looks like kratos uh-huh but i just don't see him being a guidance counselor it's like okay here's a here's a good comparison way to label poor kratos just because he can be aggressive and destructive doesn't mean that that's always what he's going to be have you seen the kindness with which he listens to Atreus, how he guides him?

The part where he wants to put his hand on his back and give him love, but then he's like, no, I need to let you forge your own path. I need to let you forge your path. I need to let you make your own mistakes because that's part of growing up because I care about you.

I hope he's not putting his hand on anybody's back in elementary school. No, he's not. his hand on anybody's back in elementary school. No, he's not. That's the whole point. He's very aware of people's personal bubbles. I feel like he's about as successful as maybe Detective Kimball being a kindergarten teacher from Kindergarten Cop. There's a comparison.

Very successful movie. At the end, he was a successful kindergarten teacher. I know Paul's picking picking bladdos on this one so here's the thing i don't think there's an argument i can make to change paul's mind on this all right here's the thing i love kratos and you just wasted all of his skills and put him in the exact opposite position that he would be suited for you guys shoot things down and i don't hold it against you guys why am I the one that gets things held against me? We said the gloves were coming off.

Oh, yeah. We got to give this one to GLaDOS. She's going to make it through. Although I don't see her winning everything overall, but she's going to make it out of this round. All right. Last matchup of round one. This is where things tend to go a little bit quicker here.

Link as a landscaper versus Micah Bell as head of hr slash conflict resolution mediator this one's easy link is the best landscaper that is the number one best fitting job for link it's a little on the nose that's that's all i'll say okay it's up to michael if he wants to credit accuracy or creativity. If I had said Mario as a plumber, that would have been one thing. But relating Link to a landscaper was a stroke of genius, I must say. I thought it was clever. I did think it was clever. What's the other choice? I'm looking through here.

Michael Bell as head of HR. So this falls into my Kratos category. What's the other choice? I'm looking through here. Micah Bell as head of HR. So, I think that Micah Bell is hilarious in that, but I don't see it. You can't see him putting his spurs up on the desk, wearing his cowboy hat. He's going to be a very unsuccessful head of human resources, because you can't kill people, and he's going to kill someone we know he's gonna do it right all right fair enough now i vote i vote for link links all right now that that's official i will say that you would never have hr issues if micah bell was the hr company that was my only point that was like when i was trying to be funny it's just like he will

literally resolve all conflict in the worst most violent way possible yeah you wouldn't have hr issues which is good but you would have a lot of lawsuits and unfortunately kim kitsuragi is not there to help your company out because you voted him off oh it's true touche all right well shockingly we all have two that made it into the second round so even though michael lost his first round he still got two still pretty soon i'm gonna have none so here we go in round two we're left with six we've got sonic bowser harry dubois glados trevor phillips and link so starting off here we have round two match one sonic as door dash driver versus glados as head of security I feel like this is the final, man.

This is the start of round two? Start of round two. I got one question for you, Josh. Sonic can't be a DoorDash driver. Because they have very specific rules on their vehicles that they approve. Yeah, he's a DoorDash. If you notice, I never called him a driver. I just said he's a DoorDasher.

Oh, it's just what Paul put in the doc. Paul put driver in there. Oh, DoorDasher. There you go. That's better. Still, though, DoorDash does have requirements, though, don't they, on their vehicles? a door dasher paul put a driver in there door dasher there you go that's better exactly still though door dash does have requirements though don't they on their vehicles you know it's got to be nope they do no they don't they just want you to i get where i work we get door dash every

single day i am very familiar and i can tell you that the requirements to be a door dash driver are very very minimal it's not like u Uber or Lyft where they actually care. I would love to have Sonic be my DoorDasher and get our food quickly while it's still hot and fresh. Yeah. You know, I know that as a group, we don't use DoorDash terribly often as individuals, but have you guys ever ordered DoorDash and watched? And I've seen DoorDash drivers go into neighborhoods nowhere near the restaurant

nowhere near me and just hang out for 15 minutes while they have my food and then they just show up later and i was like did they just like swing by and talk to one of their friends because door dash will tell you if they're doing another order it'll say they're doing another order and then they'll be on their way shortly it just says they're on their way and they're just hanging out with buddies and it drives me wild you know who does i wonder if maybe they sonic i wonder if maybe they i don't know if he is great because he can't do like a bulk order there's no way he's not gonna do like a big order no because he's spinning around that's what makes him so fast he's gonna spin and roll seen the sonic movies he doesn't roll he doesn't have to he's that oh but it's not a movie though it's a video game in the

video games he rolls uh he doesn't walk around he runs in the video games too he's not a hundred it's not like a roly-poly where he can't just run up so really poly still though glados glados is going to be the best home security you can get. I mean, sure, she might play some jokes on you, but she's funny. You're going to be safe. What room is she going to be in? That's the best thing. How big is your room that you're going to keep GLaDOS in? She's more of an AI.

She's more of an AI. No, she's a physical entity. Well, then she'll be a physical entity in my living room. Until she's in a potato, but you know. It's got a very high 16-foot ceiling. Also, GLaDOS is very likely to just murder you as much as report somebody in your yard that's only if she goes wrong sonic is going to get you your food hot fresh and with a smile it's very true i think glados is a great pick as head of security but

i like sonic as door dasher boo yeah i'm out giving it to sonic yeah all right round two match two bowser as insert whatever title you prefer here project manager if you want to win paul bowser as project manager versus trevor phillips as you're in his underwear dirty unwashed waffle house abusive chef. I don't even have an argument here because I don't know how Bowser is an overseer made it past Kim Kisaragi as a lawyer, which was like probably my pick to go all the way to the end. I don't even have an argument. Look,

here's the thing. We said with your office building full of fire, Paul, the title of this draft is best characters to hire trevor is not a best character to hire bowser in this case is because of his skill set trevor has no skill set in regards to being a chef or running a waffle house he would be a terrible person to hire uh no but you forget one thing you forget one thing best character to hire look at the candidate pool for waffle house chef he might be the best you can hire i've done it uh-huh this is that's a good point michael paul was running away with this and then

you know no waffle house chef is anywhere near trevor. That's preposterous. I'm going to give it to Paul. I Michael, I want to give you bonus points because that is why I voted for that last round. It is a very clever tie in, but I do kind of get what Paul's saying with Bowser. I do think Bowser would get

it done. He might smash you flat and well, don't worry. I'm going to use the lava argument in the final round for sure should have used in the last round against kim zurak kim kitsu or it's kim kitsuragi that's a hard name anyways right it is yeah all right i'm out of this draft you guys keep going i'm just gonna sit here and pick based on vindication and anger oh michael's been eliminated i'm sorry michael two words michael but I can't say it on the show. I'll lend you Link

and so you can argue for Link. No. I'm not going to help you. You knocked out my number one for Bowser. It was a good pick. I even gave you two famous lawyers. Two.

Michael, you're going to be able to get revenge next round, okay? No, I'm going to buy into Paul's psychological tempting. All right, here we go. Round two, final matchup. Harry Dubois as internal affairs director slash company events coordinator versus Link as landscaper. I can't help it. Can we get rid of Harry Dubois so Paul doesn't have to say it every single time?

How dare you, sir? I feel like if a Disco Elysium character gets out of this, that I feel like I've won with Kim Kitsuragi. But that's not how I'm going, necessarily. Arguments, arguments, guys. What do we got? I'm going to go back to the fact that I'm hiring the proper person for the proper job. Link is going to show up on time with a smile, dressed well, do a phenomenal job landscaping.

You might even find some rupees in your yard. So it's like you make money off of his services at that point. There is a good chance. He's going to keep the rupees, though. Well, you don't know that. Link's an honest guy, man. He is not a criminal he does not steal if the rupees are in your yard i feel like link would be like hey i found this while i was chopping this patch of grass you know he's going to actually show up and do a good job link is the person that i would actually want to hire harry dubois while creative i would never hire to work at my company um steve jobs right

genius little bit of a wacko harry dubois same thing you want the crazy geniuses running your company with you because they get those moments of inspiration they're gonna rise you to another level uh can link be a landscaper sure you know he's gonna swing a sword at some bushes and they're gonna rise you to another level uh can link be a landscaper sure you know he's gonna swing a sword at some bushes and they're gonna fall over but harry is gonna solve every case and michael do you really want to reward the main character of breath of the wild which you think is wildly over no you took he took he took my decision right out of mouth actually i was going to say let's just cut this part out because it was actually clever. Now I want to vote against Paul for taking my argument.

Let's say just like Breath of the Wild being overrated, Blake is an overrated landscaper. I'm going with Harry to box because he's brilliant. Harry, Harry, Harry. Guys, how did I end up with two in the finals? I've still got Bowser and Harry in Harry. Guys, how did I end up with two in the finals? I even... I've still got Bowser and Harry in this. Bowser's not making it because I hate him for knocking out Kim.

And Trevor. He knocked out Bowser? Come on. Two really good, really good, clever ideas. Get us a hot streak. Bowser's going to make buildings. So are you just eliminating Bowser instantly, Michael? From the finals?

Well, Sonic is way better. And Harry's better than Bowser. All right, so Bowser, we will say, is the bronze winner. We can just eliminate him here. Oh, he shouldn't have gotten that far. He was my fourth round pick. It's pretty rare to have a fourth rounder make it to the finals. Hey, man, that just goes to show that any pick can can make it far it's true all right so bowser is our bronze

medal winner and now in the finals sonic as door dasher versus harry dubois as internal affairs director slash company events coordinator i'm gonna just name one famous door dash driver sonic One famous DoorDash driver. Sonic. He's the best there is. I can't stop. All right. I'm going to head this off right now. Harry Dubois is a creative pick, Paul. Genius. You did well. Attractive man.

You did well in finding a well-known character that is fleshed out with personality and tried to somehow fit a round peg into a square hole. And I commend you for that, Paul. But Harry, in the nature of this draft, is a terrible choice for any company to hire. He's going to do drugs, alcohol, he's going to be a bad influence. And while he may be a good detective, if you have played Disco Elysium, you see the wake of just chaos that he leaves in his wake. And no rightful-minded person would want that in their company. Sonic, on the other hand, was made for being a door dasher. It is literally what he does best. He is a pleasant character. He is reliable. He is fast. He cares about things and people.

He's going to do the job far superior than anything else could, whereas Harry Dubois is going to be terrible. All right. Counter-argument. All right. Sonic is a teenager. He's not going to stick around very long. Teens don't stick in jobs long term. Harry's going to die.

They like to hop around. He's going to have around very long. Teens don't stick in jobs long term. Harry's going to die! He's going to have a heart attack! Harry has worked for his police department for 20 years. He was a double E-freighter lieutenant. He dies in the first three minutes of Disco Elysium. False. I passed that check, Josh. He grabbed his tie.

No problem. All right? Harry is more loyal. He has proven to stay long term in a job. If you're going to hire someone, the worst thing that you can do is hire someone that you have to train and then they quit on you and now you have to replace them. It's wasted money. It's a waste of your time. Harry is going to stick around long term.

It's his natural ability. Harry will work for you until he dies. Yes, which is like three minutes. Or 15 years. We don't know. I think he's only supposed to be like 50 years old. He's got some mileage left. I don't know about that.

Let's see. Do I vote with Paul, who I like right now, or Josh, who I don't? This is going to be hard. I feel like Michael's integrity is actually going to come through, despite everything else on this, and he's going to give it to who should actually win this draft. Don't you try to butter me up. I'm just saying, Michael.

This is tough. But, man, because I love Harry as internal affairs. I love Harry. Which is why you're going to vote for him. But I think that overall, with just the spirit of... Maybe it's just because I'm hungry right now, because I am kind of hungry. How nice would it be if you could get your food within three minutes? Who really, really impacts their industry the most?

Sonic as a door dash driver? It's incredible. It's incredible. It's perfect. I don't want to do it, but I'm going with Sonic. One last counter-argument. No, he's not. The decision is made. Does DoorDash hire DoorDashers?

I think it's more anyone can be an independent contractor. I don't know that they're really hiring. Oh, what a stretch. Listen to Paul. Look who's the lawyer now over here finding the loopholes oh man well hey guys go on go follow us at multiplayer pod anywhere and argue with us as much as you want because i'm still arguing with both paul and josh in my head possibly myself as well all right so we're giving this to sonic yeah

you gotta admit that's the best the best choice it's so perfect it really is perfect as well. All right. So we're giving this to Sonic. Yeah. You got to admit, that's the best, the best choice. It's so perfect. It really is perfect. I hate it because I, I don't want to reward this one over here. You are a man.

You are a man of integrity. Michael. If, if this was best characters to hire in the late eighties, like during wolf of wall street times, would Harry have had a better chance? Oh, no. Trevor Phillips' Waffle House is probably still going to...

Where's the creativity bonus there? I gave it to you! He made it to the second round! Trevor made it to the final six! I'm just saying, I have an incident right now where I have a lawyer, and I would love to have Kim Kitsuragi as my lawyer, period. And I've got a good lawyer. I love Claptrap as a character. So to put

Trevor Phillips as Waffle House chef over Claptrap was a nod to your creativity. Thank you Michael. Or was it an un-nod to Paul's in creativity? I mean Paul really missed the mark with Claptrap on that one too. How dare you both. All right. Well

we've got another draft in the books. Finally Josh wins one after his long, long cold streak. We will crown Sonic as the winner. Josh, you get to rule the day. Yes. And Michael and I will go home in tears. Yes. And I think this one is just about all wrapped up.

So, you know, we appreciate everyone for listening. As a reminder, please check out our Patreon page at MultiplayerSquad.com. Michael already gave you the social handle at MultiplayerPod. You can find us on TikTok, Twitter, and Instagram. And then we will be back with a Twig episode where we cover This Week in Gaming on Thursday. We hope you guys will all join us then. And we will see you on Thursday. Happy gaming, everybody. Don't you guys know that

my odds of winning these tournaments is always much better, statistically, if I make it to the final round than when I don't? That might be true. That's some solid math right there, Mike. I'll see you guys. Thank you. I'll miss you until I see you again. All right. See you, everybody.