Video Gamers Podcast - The Best Gift of All - [REMASTERED] - Gaming Podcast

Episode Date: December 16, 2025

Tis' the season! Gaming hosts Josh and Ryan are back and we’re celebrating the holiday season by giving gifts to some of the most iconic video game characters. The goal is to give the best gift for that character and we’re competing to see who’s got the chops to be the best. Join us for a hilarious and fun gaming filled episode from the best gaming podcast on the planet! Thanks to our MYTHIC Supporters: Redletter, Disratory, Ol’ Jake, Gaius, Jigglepuf, Phelps and NorwegianGreaser   Thanks to our Legendary Supporters: HypnoticPyro, PeopleWonder, Bobby S. and Dettmarp   Connect with the show: Support us on Patreon: ⁠⁠patreon.com/videogamerspod⁠⁠ Join our Gaming Community: ⁠https://discord.gg/dXdp8MJR⁠ Follow us on Instagram:⁠⁠ https://www.instagram.com/videogamerspod/⁠⁠  Follow us on X:⁠⁠ https://twitter.com/VideoGamersPod⁠⁠  Subscribe to us on YouTube:⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@VideoGamersPod?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠    Visit us on the web:⁠⁠https://videogamerspod.com/⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Canada's Wonderland is bringing the holiday magic this season with Winterfest on select nights now through January 3rd. Step into a winter wonderland filled with millions of dazzling lights, festive shows, rides, and holiday treats. Plus, Coca-Cola is back with Canada's kindest community, celebrating acts of kindness nationwide with a chance at 100,000 donation for the winning community and a 2026 holiday caravan stop. Learn more at canadaswunderland.com. Hello, fellow gamers and welcome to the video gamers podcast. The holiday season is here, and what better way to celebrate than by giving gifts to those we love. On today's episode, we're going to be doing just that, but with a bit of a twist. But first, some introductions are in order.

I am your host, Josh, and joining me, I'm giving him a subscription to the bandana of the month club, and I'm torn between gifting him a copy of Eldon Ring, Remnant 2, or Path of Exile 2. It's Ryan. I will happily take the Bandana of the Month Club. I very much appreciate that gift. The others, I don't know. Which one would you pick, Ryan? Eldon Ring, Remnant 2, Path of Exile 2.

I would probably say remnant two because we could play together and that least will alleviate some of the pain and misery. All right. Gifting Ryan a copy of Remnant 2 right now. No, you have to play. You have to. Yeah, you said you would, man. You have it.

You can't give a gift back either. Oh, man. Ryan, we, I love when we just, I love when we have stupid topics, man. That was great. Honestly, this is because this is what gamers do. We love coming up with dumb situations. We love the kind of silly ideas and things like that. And we've got a pretty good one today, man.

We are going to be gifting Christmas presents to famous video game characters. Yes. And what we're doing is we have a list of 10 characters. And you and I have come up secretly with a present to give each of those characters. And then we are going to argue. you slash debate over whose present is the better gift to get to these characters. I'm the best, Santa. Yeah, I mean, we're going to find out, to be honest. So I am very excited for this one, because it should be a lot of fun. But before we get into the gift giving, we've got a little bit of

housekeeping, Ryan. We have not one, but two new supporters that we want to thank. Oh, brother. You know, we absolutely love the support of the show. It's what keeps this podcast going. And I know there's people out there that say, hey, you know, it's just a little amount. It's as little as five bucks a month. But, you know, it really does keep things flowing. And we always like to say thank you. So first, we're going to say thank you to a long time friend of the show. An awesome dude, we have had many a chance to talk to this guy. We almost got to play hell divers together. So close. We just kept missing. each other somehow but it's like dude this is this is one of those guys that you just kind of instantly

know that you would jive with in in like the video game world but huge shout out to dk matt for supporting the show dk matt we love you buddy we know you've been a fan for a while we are also a fan of yours so thank you very much for supporting the show well you didn't say it in like he's in the wrestling world you got to say it in the macho man i didn't i didn't want to like you know throw it out there just in case, you know. Ooh, D.K. Man. You are, oh, that's a terrible macho man. No, that's not bad.

No, that was terrible. Brother. There, all right, you're getting better. You got to pop that vein in your forehead, man. Oh, you got to get real deep down low. There you go. There you go. I would do my ultimate warrior impression, but I need to save my voice for the rest of this.

Yeah, I know. I need a lozange already. Yeah. And then second, coming in all the way from Sweden, we've got Soul Beetle who has recently joined the community, who signed up for rare status as well. Soul Beetle is awesome. He's like, I think he's closer to my age than your age, Ryan, because we've been chatting some kind of old school gaming and consoles like Atari.

We were nerding out over some Star Wars cards the other day. But Soul Beetle's been awesome to interact with. you can definitely tell the time zone difference there as well, because it'll be like 3 a.m. when he hops on and he's chatting with everybody. Yeah. And then it's like, oh, I'm sorry, I missed your messages, man. But yeah, he's been active in the community as well. And so I have a special message for Soul Beetle too.

So, and forgive me if I butcher the pronunciation on this, but tack for Stodot. There you go. I looked up a little bit of Swedish there. So I'll just, that's only for Soul Beetle and our other Swedish listeners. nobody else has any idea what I just said. Now I want a Swedish listener to send in an audio clip of how you're supposed to actually say it. I would love that.

So Soul Beatles in our Discord, he can attach a little audio file and show us how bad I butchered that. Hey, the important thing is you tried. You know, you tried. You know, E for effort, right? Yep. All right, Ryan. And then we absolutely love reviews.

We finally hit over a thousand ratings. on Spotify. We did it. Road to a thousand, brother. We did it, man. Apple is, you know, people, it's a little bit harder to leave a review on Apple because it's like people want to actually write a written review, but we love reading the written reviews as well. And if you leave us one, there's a good chance we're going to read it on the show. This one comes in from Count Winston, and it says, I swear, I got up this morning, not quite sure about my place in this world. My head shot count is down. My KD ratio is low and I can barely dodge roll my way through

Eldon Ring anymore. My old hands were thinking about putting my controller up for good. But today I heard these buttery smooth voices coming from the video gamers podcast. Like a king leading his troops into battle, this podcast has inspired me to pick my controller back up and charge into glory. It's the best podcast ever signed Lighthouse Bengal. oh that's so good I freaking hype now man I know I want to charge into battle I know we just watched

Gladiator Gladiator 2's out now it's like I am ready yeah oh man and I want to say if you guys we will read these very with enthusiastic expression the more you kind of write them

like a theater performance I keep waiting for another script I want to we just want scripts leave your reviews as scripts and we'll act them out and play them. It'll, it'll be amazing. I love it. People are going to be looking for the, they're going to be like scrolling video game podcast, looking at reviews and being like, why does this show have a bunch of scripts written for it? Worth it. Yeah, oh, man, absolutely. All right, Ryan, that's it for housekeeping, buddy. So again, thank you for the support. Hey, if you love the podcast and you want to support the show,

you can head over to multiplayer squad.com to do that while we're talking about it. If you you haven't done so already in your podcast app, make sure you follow us. That way you get our episodes the day that they release. It also helps us out in the algorithm as well. Ryan, you feel generous, buddy? I'm here for the gift of giving. You did all your holiday shopping? I did. I was actually at the mall this morning. My wife drove me there. Oh, you're a brave man. We're actually recording this on Black Friday. Yes. The fact that you went to the mall on Black Friday, I'm glad you're here with us, Ryan. Yes, I survived.

All right. Well, let's get into this. So like I explained at the top of the show, we have a list of 10 video game characters. We have chosen a present to give to that character that we think will resonate with them. Maybe it's funny. Maybe it's something useful. Maybe it's something that plays into their background a little bit. I mean, really, there were no rules other than that it should be geared towards the character that you're giving it.

two. Um, let's just start with this one, Ryan. Uh, awesome game. Very, very endearing. If you haven't played this game yet, number one, you're missing out. But we are going to give a gift to good old Dave the Diver. Oh, Dave, Dave, Dave the man. Dave is the man. I love this game so much. Took the world by storm. I saw a snippet that they sold over five million copies of Dave the Diver. Good for that, man. What a good game. It really is just a fantastic. video game. So don't be put off if you're like, oh, it's old pixley or whatever. No, Dave the diver is fantastic. But Ryan, Dave's been a good boy. He's on the, he's on the good list. Yes. What do you, what do you got for Dave? Dave. What does Dave need? What does Dave look

like he needs? What would help Dave in his, you know, everyday activities, something that he does sun up to sundown I'm getting Dave some ozimic because home boy you need to lose some weight brother oh man Ryan firing shots already

Dave imagine how streamlined Dave's going to be when he loses a couple LBs and he can just zip through that water no sharks are going to get them no squids nothing he's going to be just on top of it

he'll get back bring all of his fish up to the top and he can run the sushi restaurant like nobody. Ryan, you know, this is on point coming from you. You go to the gym a lot. You try to stay healthy. You take good care of yourself. You know, worrying about Dave's weight and his health is really like a noble cause, man.

It shows that you care. You know, I thought like sushi, like, I don't know if this is true, but it's like sushi in my brain is like a healthy food. But like I know most of the time when I go to a sushi. sushi restaurant. Like, I'm getting the fried roll and it's got the hot sauce on top and the cream cheese in it and all that stuff. And I'm like, maybe sushi isn't that as healthy as I thought. The Vegas roll, like the deep fried like with the salmon and yeah, the cream cheese and avocado. Oh, it's so good. I love sushi, man. So a prescription for a Zempick from Dave the Diver. It's not bad, buddy. We're going to trim him down. He's going to be good to go.

All right. Well, uh, here. This is, this is, this is. This is. my gift. It's pay no attention to the giant box that this gift is coming in. Uh, I am giving Dave the diver the prawn suit from subnautica. Oh, that's pretty good. Dang it. He got to do nothing no more, man. He's got a prawn suit. He could just go straight down to the bottom. He can mine. He can fish. You know, it takes all the stress off of him, man. Makes his job way easier. And who doesn't want their job to be a lot better, you know, and protects him from the sharks. I mean, if it can almost stand up to a Leviathan, then it can stand up to a hammerhead. Shark, no problem.

Some little hammerhead coming across ain't going to do nothing. Yeah. Now we, it does come with an instruction manual as well because, you know, I don't know how difficult it is to operate a prawn suit. I picked it up pretty quick in subnautica. So, yeah, that's my gift. Here's the question. Can Dave fit into it?

Oh, dang it. Yeah. I bet you didn't think about that one. I don't know what the capacity for. Well, we can just combine our gifts and then it'll be, it'll just be perfect. All right. All right, Ryan. We have to decide whose gift is the better gift here.

One's about health. One's about not having to do as much anymore. One is a fantastic piece of technology that would make his job way better. But I will say this. Now, not to argue against my own pick here. But I've been scuba diving. There's something about just swimming free, man. Yeah.

Kicking them legs, just coasting along the bottom of the sea. Would a prawn suit be a little too clunky? It may be. And then it may turn into where then you're not going out on your own. So it's more of just a chore, a job. You're just hopping in this machine. You're not supposed to agree with me, Ryan. You're supposed to tell me how awesome this is.

But, you know, such a great. I will say also the difference between having to dive down however many meters and then just hopping into the, you know, the machine and going down that way also would be very, very sweet. Don't have to worry about decompression. The bends is very serious condition. I have a very good friend that he's a medical doctor that deals with that in San Diego all the time. So I understand how bad it can be. When we talk about protecting his health, I mean, the prong suit really is just protecting him. from that. Okay. So hold on. He can use the prong suit. It makes his retrieval of all the,

all the fresh fish faster. So he has more time to come back and then he can do general exercise and good proper diet and health. And then he'll still lose weight. But he also doesn't have to exert so much energy with swimming. It's funny because I feel like my gift is the direct antithesis of your gift because it's like he's doing all the swimming, which is really good exercise. And now I'm like, no, man, you don't have to do none of that. Just control this suit and get fatter while you're at this. Bro, just hop in this. Next will have one you don't have to go in the water. You can just control from the, from the shore. Oh, man. I would say to me, I'm going to say the prawn suit's pretty sweet, man. That's a, that's a good piece of high tech that

I was kind of proud of that one. I was struggling at first and then it dawned on me. And then I was like, okay. That's funny because I thought of, you know, I thought of one of those kind of hands. handheld things you use to swim faster, like a big one. Yeah, little torpedo things. Yeah, a little torpedo things. But I'm like, eh, that's kind of dumb, you know, and, but that's, I didn't even think about that. The prong suit, that's, that's pretty good, pretty good gift. All right. We're chalking it up. Prong suit for Dave the diver. Pond suit one, number one. All right, Ryan. So our second gift recipient, uh, is going to be the one, the only glados. No. You know, now glados, not. You know, now glados, not.

on the good list. She's been a little bit naughty. You know, doesn't have the best history with treating people with kindness and things like that. But, you know, sometimes a little kindness goes a long way. And so, you know, Gladys needs a little bit of love during the holiday season as well. And so we had to come up with a gift to give Glados. And I'll be honest, man, this one was tough. I was like, I went for a bunch of different angles on this one. I finally landed on. I'll give my answer first since you went first with Dave the Diver. I don't know if everybody's going to resonate with this or not. But, you know, Gladys, she loves her test subjects, man.

That's, you know, that's her joy in life, is putting people through these tests and saying, hey, let's see how you perform, messing with their minds a little bit. So I am going to gift Glados, the character John, who is the main character from the Stanley parable from another game. and Gladys gets to have John as her test subject. Now, have you ever played the Stanley Parable, Ryan? And Ryan's looking at me so funny right now. You told me before, my pig for glados may not resonate with you.

I'm not sure, but some other people might get it. And you were spot on. I got no clue what you're talking about. Okay. You've heard of the Stanley Parable, right? I have. I have, yes. Okay.

I have not, historically, I have not played the Stanley Parable, but it has been a game that I keep telling myself, dude, I got to play this. You can beat the whole game in like two hours. Yeah. It's basically like a psychological experiment where there is a narrator and you are John, you know, and basically you're going about your day and this narrator is kind of narrating what you're doing. And it'll say, you know, John opens the door. And then it's like, you can choose to not open the door and turn around. And then it's like, he thought better of it

and went the other direction. And so it kind of narrates everything that you do. Yeah. And it's this neat little kind of like demonstration on can you be influenced by like the narrator of this game. I know there's a ton of secrets in this game. It's got an achievement where famously if you don't play the game for five years, it says like you come back after five years and it says when outside as your achievement. So it's like a whole bunch of like really cool hidden stuff. But for Glados, I thought like I said, she loves her test subjects. And John is already used to being tested and following directions because that's what he does in the Stanley parable. Yeah. He So he's open to testing.

He has a complete lack of resistance to this. He doesn't mind being manipulated, which is exactly what Glados would want. Yes. So that's my pick for Glados is a test subject of her very own, who is a professional test subject. What a gift you've given a person to Gladys. Also, John is doing this willingly. This is not forced upon John. I just want to make that clear for everybody.

You are going here. John thinks better of it. Oh, man. I just realized I gave a human away as a pet to a overbearing, um, Psycho-dominated robot. Psycho-Robot. Sorry about that.

Well, maybe if John is given to, uh, to glidos, my gift will help, uh, ease the process because one thing I know is, is Glados does like to sing.

But it's not very good. So we're going to do some singing lessons to where Glados learns how to use more than one or two notes. You know, can really kind of, my goodness. Can do a little bit more, a little more inflection, hit those peaks. You know, we're in the holiday season, maybe a little Mariah Carey up and down, get the all I want for Christmas, you know. It's just there, there needs to be some work there. Oh, my goodness, Ryan. Singing lessons for Glados.

singing lessons for glados now for anybody that has not played portal or portal two number one shame on you yeah those games are some of the most legendary well-beloved games in the history of humanity so make sure you play the portal games uh so that you are familiar they are very easy to play and pick up uh my daughter actually is playing portal two with her cousin oh nice she told me the other day she said dad portal two is really fun and i said have you never played this before And then she's like, no, I don't like puzzle games. And then I was like, but it's portal. And then she said, yeah, but I don't like puzzle games.

And I went, yeah, but it's portal. And she said, yeah, but this is a fun puzzle game. It's like its own thing. It's its own entity, dude. You don't have to like puzzle games at all to enjoy portal. So this is your public service announcement, number one, if you haven't played those. But spoiler warning for a game that's 20 plus years old, Gladdo sings at the end of portal. And it's hilarious, number one.

but number two, she's not the best singer in the world. She's got a very monotone. Yes. She's a robot. Yes. So singing lessons for Glados would be hilarious, dude. Increase that range. Teach her how to hit those highs, you know.

Highs, hit the lows, get the pitch, find her vocal range that fits her, you know, programming, if you will. Dang it, Ryan. I'm just going to go ahead and give this one to you, man. All right. I don't know that gifting a human to a psychotic robot is the best gift ever, but. You thought good at first. Oh, I'll just take this subject and, oh, wait, that subject's a human. Well, that doesn't look as good.

I struggled on this one. I'm not going to lie. Singing lessons is so good. It was pretty hard. It was pretty hard. All right. I'm just giving that one to you. And plus, I think she'd like that.

The only thing I would say negative is Gladys is very like egotistical. She might be like, what are you talking about? I don't need singing lessons. Probably so. You know, but she really does need them. So it's one of those things where she'd probably like be like, like this is stupid I don't need this but then when you left she'd like be like calling up the singing instructor like a little bit later like I hear you give singing instructions come over right now

all right Ryan we've got a lot more to get to but we're going to take a short break and then we're going to come back with our next character that's getting some gifts all right rocket league players today's episode sponsor is for you if you're serious about ranking up stop grinding in the dark start learning smarter with trophy dot AI trophy AI trophy AI gives you real time that actually adapts to your play style. No more generic, hit the ball better advice. It breaks down exactly what you're doing right and more importantly, what you're doing wrong.

With real-time overlays that allow you to fix your mistakes on the fly. Need to sharpen your mechanics, Trophy AI has a massive library of training packs complete with live demos from pro players. You can watch, you can practice, and maybe even learn some of their moves. Plus, there are many games that make training fun instead of a chore. And after every match, you'll get a personalized analysis showing exactly what you can improve on. It's like having your own Rocket League coach 24-7. You'll see faster improvement, play with more confidence,

and actually understand why you miss that crucial save or lost that kickoff. Try it risk-free for seven days at trophy.a.I using the code V-G-P. that's t r o p h i dot a i train smarter climb faster all right we're back ryan let's do this one of you and i one of our favorite characters arthur morgan what a guy what a guy what a guy red dead redemption red dead redemption too you know we keep talking about games that people should play but if you haven't played red dead too you are missing out a whole lot it's funny too because we've seen a couple people in our discord server that say hey i'm not into western so would I like Red Dead?

And it's like, I'm not into Westerns at all, like, at all. But I can tell you as somebody that is not into that, like, you know, theme, Red Dead too is one of the best video games that's ever been made. And so you absolutely owe it to yourself to play the game. Get through the first 40 minutes, which is slow. And then it's, it's incredible. But Arthur Morgan is one of the more memorable characters in gaming. You know, he's part of a really good.

of characters. This could go a lot of ways, Ryan. So what are you getting for your boy, Arthur Morgan? Arthur Morgan. All right, let's see here. What could we give to a man who, I would say has everything, but he really has nothing? He lost his girl. He lost his kid.

And I'm not going to give the spoiler on the other thing that he lost there. But I'm going, I'm going to give Arthur Morgan Obamacare. get this homie some medical insurance man dude come on there's there's some medical insurance yeah he needs some medical insurance this dude needs to go to the doctor that doesn't have like hacksaws and all this stuff around and he's going to get fixed and he's going to get modern health care modern health care modern health care homeboy needs some

some insurance right there man get him a doctor okay it's kind we're kind of on the same vein, Ryan. Kind of on the same vein. I'm going to, I'm going to preface this. If you have not played Red Dead 2 yet, skip ahead about two minutes on this, because I don't want to spoil anything there. All right. That was your warning. Here we go. I am getting Arthur Morgan a prescription for is is aisonyazid, which is the treatment for tuberculosis. And apparently it comes with some other medicines, which is refampin, pyrazynamide, and etthambuto.

Yes, I had to look up how to treat tuberculosis. Because, you know, Arthur, he was really getting his life together, man. He was kind of getting out from under the thumb of Dutch and he's trying to make a life for himself.

And then, bam, man comes down with tuberculosis. And it's all downhill after that. So, modern health care or the actual treatment that's going to treat and cure his condition, Ryan. Which one are we going with? I think we were thinking on the same line for it. We definitely were. All we want is we just want to save Arthur. I really do want to save Arthur. I feel like he could have led it good. I did now as a

alternate, I did think about just a plan so that I can say, Arthur, I got a plan. Yeah. That would, that would be what you would give to Dutch, like Dutch here. I know you keep saying you got a plan. Here's your plan. Dutch always has a plan. Dutch always has a plan. Never seems to work out or come to fruition. I mean, they're not great plans necessarily. Yeah.

All right. Well, I'd say you have the specific bitch, which by the way, did we already do this at one point before where we talked about? I feel like we did. At least for something for Arthur. Because the isinized it. I was like, how do I know how to say that? Because I feel like we like both had two different medications that were supposed to treat

this ailment. And then we were saying them wrong. or then somebody else told us that this is what it actually was. And then so I don't know, I feel like the chemist. I'll tell you what, I do have an alternate, which since I will name this,

I did think about this too because it was like, what would like an actual like meaningful gift be? And I did think about a very nice like leather bound journal since he likes to write in his journal and do his sketches and stuff. And I thought, man, this would be like an actual like heartfelt gift to be like, hey, I know you like writing this stuff down.

I know you like drawing and stuff like, that, and I got you this really nice journal that you could, like, write everything down in. All it's going to say on every page is Dutch has a plan. Just see Dutch. He's got a plan. Yeah, I'd say you got the specific meds brother. So your gift's going to be the winner. Okay.

Now, again, not to argue against myself, but modern health care would treat him. But then he gets other health care, too. He gets everything. He does kind of get everything. You know, and so if he's got Obamacare going on, he, you know, he's got, hey, you know, maybe he's, he's, he's, he's feeling a little under the weather, you know, and it's like, hey, he's got you covered. My toe. A little sinus infection going on. Yeah.

You know, no biggie. Oh, man. Well, that's up to you, my man. I'm going to say, let's call this one a tie since we both thought about the same thing, which is really just trying to take care of Arthur's health. Yeah, we just care, man. That's all. We just care. We love you, Arthur.

all right oh boy this is things are going to get weird man uh famously and i'll be honest i don't remember the episode that this this character came came about i just remember paul kind of going off the rails on whatever it was which is not normally paul is not normally paul and i man i i wish i could remember the episode off the top of my head it was another one of these just silly kind of stupid episodes but paul nominated his rust character paul's rust character Paul's Russ character. And he literally said it's Paul's Rust character. And we went, what?

What are you talking about? Yeah. But that's who we are giving a gift to. Paul, what an honorable guy. He's definitely on the good list this year. You know, he's taking care of his family. He's doing that. He's running the business, taking care of all that stuff.

So Paul, we're going to bring you a good gift for your Rust character in this regard. I guess it's my turn to. go first. Now, Ryan, famously, you never got to play Rust with us. And you and I were actually chatting literally before we hit record. And I was saying like, Ryan, man, we really need to play Russ together at some point. It would be so much fun. I'm kind of getting the it to play it. So it's one of those things where at some point, we will absolutely jump in there and just let you experience the world of Rust. The one thing that I know Paul really hated was in Rust, you unlock blueprints, right? So you can craft things. And Paul was always the guy because the way the

tech trees work, you want to give all the blueprints to one person because you get, you don't double up that way. And Paul was always the guy that had all the blueprints. So Paul was always the guy that had to do all the crafting in Rust. And things don't craft instantly. They take time. Yeah. So Paul was famously just stuck at the crafting bench when we needed to make a whole bunch of stuff. And then he'd be like, all right, guys, I'll be back in like 15 minutes while all the stuff crafts. Yeah. I am getting Paul's Russ character, a Tesla optimist, the recently unveiled robots that Tesla has come up with so that the robot can handle all of the crafting for Paul, which will set Paul free to do what he wants to do so that all of the crafting can be handled by

the optimist instead. You're welcome, Paul. That is. What a thoughtful gift. Like, come on, man. Just give the guy a break. Let him go off and do what he wants to do. And now these robots can handle it. That's a pretty quality gift there. So mine...

Good luck beating that one, Ryan. Yeah. Mine may not be a very nice gift. Because I've... I've heard tall tales of Paul, the crafter. Paul, the creator. The farmer? Oh, the farmer.

patch that Paul could make is legendary. Paul, Paul the Fisher. So, so, uh, what did you not hear in, in, in all those descriptions? Paul is, uh, he's not a, he's not an angry man. He's not a violent man. Paul, Paul, you haven't heard Paul the fighter, I would say. Oh, so, so what I'm going to get Paul, I'm going to get Paul a white flag so he doesn't have to do any of the fighting and he can just wave that bad boy and surrender immediately. Lee. He just wave the white flag

So he is He's like I surrender Let me let me Let me take my pumpkins Just don't kill me I'm just a crafter. Okay,

that's pretty good, man. I'm sorry, Paul. I still love you. It is like, it is funny because I was famously like the PVP guy where I'm like, I'm going to shoot this guy.

I'm going to shoot this guy. Oh, of course. And Paul's like, no, man, just leave him alone. You know, like he's not bothering us or any of that.

I won't say that Paul was a pacifist because Paul would definitely stand up and protect the base. And we, you know, he was always shooting rockets when we were raiding other bases and stuff like that. So, you know, but PVP in Rust was not necessarily Paul's favorite thing. Uh, not so good with the bow. Uh, usually the first guy to go down in a fight. So a white flag for Paul would let him just live, live the peaceful life that he wants to live. He's like, you guys battle out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm going.

I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go plant this pumpkin. Now, Ryan, the, the only problem with this pick is that people in Rust would not honor a white flag. No, no, they would not. It would still just straight up shoot you in the face. I've watched so many, I haven't played Russ with you guys, but I've watched so many videos of just where guys are like, oh, yeah, I don't know, we're good here. Let's just trade this.

And then boom, shoot them right in the face. Like, oh, yeah. The saboteurs are rampant in Russ, for sure. Yeah, you trust nobody at all in Rush. So, all right, we got to decide, take the crafting hassle away from Paul or give him a way to hopefully get out of any violence and let him just focus on the peaceful things in life. So here's the deal. You give him the robot, then maybe he can really dial in on just combat and he can be a backup with you guys. Mine just puts them right back in the job and the chore of, you know, again, not to argue against myself, but I'm kind of arguing against myself.

I kind of like the robot. The robot is a good, is a good. All right, I'm going to go with the optimist as well, just because I know it's not Paul's favorite thing to sit there and just have to spend 20 minutes crafting. Yeah, nobody wants to do that. And also the white flag, while a great idea, I think would just make Paul just be like,

come on, man, I was waving my flag. Why'd you kill me? Oh, boy. All right, Ryan, moving on to the next one here. A big daddy from Bioshock. Now, these things are weird. They're very protective of the little sisters. They're very difficult.

You can't really interact with them in the game. You have to just try to avoid them or fight them if you want to get to that essence that the little sisters have. I'm trying to think what the name of that was. I'm not even going to try to remember some kind of essence thing that you use to improve your skills and stuff like that. I couldn't even remember Rapture, so I don't know. So, all right. Is it me? I went first, yes.

It's your pick here. So like you said, Big Daddy's super protective over the little sisters, always trying to keep track of them. They're always running amok, always cruising around. Now, have you been to Disneyland, Josh, or Disney World? I have. Okay. I'm sure any amusement park in general, I'm sure you've seen those beautiful, amazing little devices. that are the backpack leash for little children.

I am getting Big Daddy a backpack leash for the little sisters that he can throw on those little ones and keep them wrangled up. So he's not always having to track them down. This is going to be the perfect wrangling tool that Big Daddy can use. Okay. I thought I was wrong for gifting a human being to Glados, Ryan. But putting a little sister on a leash, it's, that might be, that might be, you know, I get it. I mean, I get it. And honestly, the big daddy might be like, hey, you know, like, stick around.

Oh, man, that's too funny. And once again, Ryan, you and I are kind of on the same path here, although I went with something that's a little bit more freedom than putting somebody on a leash. I went with an Apple air tag GPS tracker so that the big daddies always know where the little sisters are oh man it's funny because in in Bioshock I remember like you could see the big daddy's like knocking on the vents that the little sisters would crawl out of

and if the little sister didn't show up right away you'd hear the big daddy kind of like grown and make some sounds like it was waiting on her to show up Adam is also the name of the essence that you were trying to get Adam. Now let me ask you, Ryan, before we get to Who Had the Better Gift here? Are you, are you killing that little sister and taking the Adam? Or are you setting her free? No, I'm killing it. Yeah. I can't tell you how many little sisters met their demise at my hands. You know why? Because they had an air tag and not a leash. I mean, that's, well, no, I took out the big daddy's man. That I took, you know, that big daddy had to go to. They're

not letting the little sister just get yoinked. Yeah, that's true. They come stomping in. All right. Well, that says something about us. So that was the beauty of Bioshock, dude. Yeah. I remember, I remember before the game came out. I still remember this vividly where they were like, these big daddies are the protectors. And you can try to fight one. But man, is that going to be an epic battle? And I remember the first time going like, all right, okay, man, here we go. I'm going to, I'm going to see what this is all about. Like, let's try to take on this big daddy. and then the first time you actually kill one and then the little sister's sitting there

and she's cringing away from you and then you just feel like a monster and then I'm like, you're just like, give me the Adam! And then it was worth it because I got some cool new ability. Yeah, I need my cool hand powers bro. Like, come on.

Ryan, I'm going to advocate for you know, just personal freedoms here and not restraining small children. I'm going to volunteer my Apple air tag GPS trackers as a uh as an alternative to your uh entrapment and uh restraints all i know is it's a tried and true method if you keep them right within like three or four feet and eyesight you're good to go as much as i hate to argue this and again why are we arguing against ourselves this is a gift for a big daddy yeah and i feel like the big daddy would actually

He likes the leash better because then the little sister is always right there. He'd have like six of them or eight of them on one lease. Like those people walking like the multiple like the dog walker ones. Like walking a ton of dogs. You know, he'd have a bunch. Wasn't it one big daddy for one little sister? I can't remember now. I don't remember, dude.

It's been so long. Okay. So now we have a moral dilemma, Ryan. Do we go with the better gift for the big daddy but might also be a little bit more inhumane? Or do we go with the human? You know what? I'm picking the leash, man. This is a present for a big daddy.

We're making their lives better. Yeah. And I mean, you're also stuck like way underneath like the ocean. It's also the retractable kind, right? Where it kind of goes out. Yeah, it can go out and come back in. It's got a little bit of room to scamper around, you know. Yeah.

Can explore the room. It's for the big daddy, Ryan. It's not for us. Yes. I don't even know what the counts at, but I'm happy I got that one. All right. Moving on. I love this character so much.

much, man. Oh, so good. Talk about a memorable character in a video game. We are gifting the one, the only Johnny Silverhand from Cyberpunk 27, a Christmas gift. You know, Johnny, maybe he's a little bit misunderstood. Maybe he's got a dark past where he made some bad choices, you know. But through the course of cyberpunk 2077, he acts like a friend. He does. To V, you know, and they start to kind of form a bond, they start to work together. I don't want to spoil anything because it's a much more recent game than maybe Portal is. Um, so we have to come up with a gift for Johnny Silverhand. What do you got, Ryan? Oh, wait, no, you went first last time, didn't you? Oh, I think I did. Yeah, you did the leash. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Ryan, I, uh, I came into a little bit of money

recently. Oh, and I really wanted to get Johnny Silverhand, a really good gift. Okay. And, uh, if there's one thing that we know about Johnny Silverhand, he's a rocker, dude. Yeah. of course he the man uh what's the name of the band sam or something samurai in cyberpunk something like that i forget something samurai you know he we get cut scenes where he's the front man for his band before they you know they're mean to him i wanted to get him something really special ryan so i got him jimmy hendricks is 1968 fender stratocaster woodstock edition which is the iconic white guitar that is still in existence he didn't burn it it did exist in a museum. That's what I'm getting from my boy, Johnny. I, I would almost say 100%

I knew you were going to go with that. There's no way. I swear. I swear, because I knew. I'm like, he's a rocker. He's going to guitar. He's the most expensive one. That would be the one you'd gift or one of those top, top of the line super high end. Oh yeah. Yeah. That's, I mean, that's a, I try to, I, I will say, man, you know, you and I were kind of wing it kind of guys, right? we don't, we, I did some actual research like Jimmy Hendricks's guitars today. I found a site that is just dedicated to every guitar the man to ever own, which ones he burned on stage,

which performances. And this one that has been dubbed Woodstock, because it's the one he played at Woodstock, is the one that is still around and one of the more iconic guitars that our boy Jimmy Hendricks played. So that's what I'm giving them. Do you have the value on? that one what's uh because i remember

sold at auction for like a couple million dollars i did see that little snippet in there as well it's in a museum now so some would argue that it's priceless but i'm pretty sure it sold at auction for like two million yeah i remember looking through like the most expensive guitars recently and then honestly this morning when i was looking through our list of of these people we're going to give gifts to i thought about that and then i'm like josh is probably going to do that too i'm like i'm going to look for something different. Unfortunately, mine is much, much,

much less expensive, I will say. But again, it's about the compassion and the care about one's health. And Johnny Silverhand smokes a whole heck of a lot of cigarettes.

If you see him, he's always, he is just chain smoking like you wouldn't believe. So I thought I would get him at least a vape and then he wouldn't have to worry so much about all the carcinogens. You can't Johnny Silverhand of vape?

Yeah, I thought it would be good. Oh my goodness. This is, this seems much... You know, vaping's not good for you, right? It is not good, but it is much better than cigarettes, but it seems much less extravagant now that you actually did pick that Jimmy Hendricks guitar.

Yeah. Okay, so so one is like an iconic piece of rock history. Yeah, yeah, I know. A one of a kind item or we could try to still destroy his lungs. It's water vapor, bro. It's water. Okay. It's a water pipe, man. It's meant for tobacco. I had a guy, I had a guy that worked for me for a while that kept trying to vape in my truck and was trying to vape everywhere. He just kept arguing with me, it's water vapor. It's what I'm like, I don't care what it is. You're not going to vape in my truck. Oh my goodness. So, uh, okay, I'm I'm just, I'm going to concede all off the bat.

You can have Jimi Hendrix's guitar. I should have, I should have went with, I was going to go with the guitar too, but, uh, yeah. All right. You will. Okay, moving on. We're going. This one, man. This one, boy, I don't know how I feel about the gift I picked for this one, but we're

going with Bowser. Oh, all right. Bowser, uh, you know, he's on the naughty list. this man's or this this thing and i only you know he's not been very good uh but you know he's getting a christmas present from us ryan what do you what are you giving to bowser oh man what what does a man who has everything need you know bowser was was first introduced in 1985 bowser's been around for a long time what has bowser been doing for all that time he's been chasing Princess Peach

just over and over unsuccessfully I mean well partially I mean he gets her but then she gets taken back partially so so what I'm going to do is I'm going to get Bowser a couple dating apps and Bowser needs to find himself a new girl Bowser's got to move on man

she's not interested you keep kidnapping her Mario keeps saving the day bro you got to take the hint move on let's find you someone you match with you know whatever whatever dating app you want to use to get there you can do it but uh we're gonna we're gonna find bowser some love in a different place than uh princess peach oh my goodness ryan okay i i we we have to say this just for for the the the integrity of the show we did not share our gifts with each other before recording oh

are you kidding again i am not joking i have it right here, my gift to Bowser, because he's always thirsting over the ladies, and he's always trying to find a date, and he just keeps capturing Princess Peach. I got Bowser a membership to Tinder Select, which costs $499 a month. I didn't even know this was the thing. What a month? Yes, apparently, because I was like, isn't there like, like, subscriptions for Tinder or something like that? That's what we got to talk about. $500 a month? Are you kidding me? I looked it up and I said, what are the different Tinder memberships? And apparently there's like the normal ones,

but then there's an invite only one. I guess if you're like a multimillionaire or something. Oh, okay. They want the high class. Yeah, like that, yeah, and there is an invite only. So you can't just sign up for this. You have to be invited to it, but it's called Tinder Select.

It's $499 a month. But I got Bowser a dating membership. You got him a dating app. Oh, my goodness. All right. Well, we're calling that one a time. I cannot believe we both went that route. Oh, that's funny.

Although, that's like 6K for just a dating app. That's wild. Dude, I bought a Tesla Optimist for Paul's Russ character. Yeah, dude. And you bought the guitar. Yeah, we go all out at Christmas. Apparently so, man. Apparently so.

I can't believe we both went. Bowser needs a date. He needs other women in his life. So this may be assigned, You're a little thirsty. You're just going after the same girl. Get the hint, brother. Oh, my goodness.

All right, Ryan. We are running out of time here. Let's, we're going to shorten this list just a little bit here. Let's go with Cortana from Halo. Okay. I got a dumb one for this one, man. I'm not going to lie. I guess I'm just going to answer mine.

This is so stupid. So Cortana, you know, she's an AI. She's, you know, she's always with Master Chief. She's really smart. What do you get an AI that, you know, has access to almost all the knowledge in the world? You know, and we've seen Cortana kind of change over the years from the different Halo games and stuff like that. But, you know, she's a lady. And, you know, it's like one of those things where what would she enjoy?

I am getting Cortana her very own battle pass with cosmetics and skins so that whenever Master Chief gets kills she gets XP towards the battle pass and can unlock new skins and upgrades Oh my gosh

What? Okay Personally I think Cortana's perfect She doesn't need any upgrades bro Well she might want some upgrades though yeah she may but i per you're you're kind of forcing that on her you're saying listen you're not good as you are take these upgrades you need to upgrade uh cosmetics ryan

it's all about those skins okay it's all about the skins it's all about the skins plus it makes it more fun when master chief's going on like a rampage and he's taking out all these aliens she's like oh oh i just hit level 70 on the battle pass pretty soon i'm going to hit the prestige tears that is true that That is true. Okay. I get that. I get that. Yeah. So that's fair. What I'm going to go with, it's maybe a little more communal. I want, you know, Cortana, she has Master Chief. That's great. Master Chief's just, you know, just your average seven foot cyborg human super soldier. You know, like, what is she going to communicate with him about other than, oh, you're great, you're amazing? I want to get, speaking of subscriptions. the chat GPT premium sub for Cortana. So she actually has another AI to speak with.

Okay. Okay. She's got to be lonely, man. I would really appreciate some AI companionship, right? She's going to, she's probably going to say this AI is just a big old doofus compared to her. I was going to say chat GPT is like the dumb puppy dog, right? That's just like, you're like, oh, you're so cute.

Look how dumb you are. Maybe it's more like a pet. Yeah, exactly. But yeah, that's what I'm going with. I don't hate that, Ryan. That's, that's, I mean, it is definitely the inferior AI. Man, this one's tough. An AI companion to interact with and chat with.

That's probably a little bit more on Cortano's level than Master Chief is. Or her very own battle pass complete with skins. upgrades. This is a tough one, man. This is a tough one. I mean, do you just want like digital virtual skins or do you want like a companion, a friend, somebody to be with, communicate? Master Chief is always out on missions and doing stuff and, you know, just got to talk to

somebody. Okay. I'm going to give it to you. Everybody wants that kind of dumb puppy, man. You know, the little puppy dog, you're like, dude, okay, you're like really dumb. You keep pooping in the house, you know, but I kind of like. having you around chippy cheap t is coming for you when when they take over the world and you kind of got me with the whole like what she's not good enough as it is like she might like the way she looks

you're that cortana i like you the way you are she she has changed over the years though too so obviously you know she she has changed her appearance so we're just going to assume that she's got the appearance she wants yeah even if it's inferior to some of the earlier games ryan yeah like HAL-3. Oh, yeah, yeah. No, excuse me. All right, moving on. Moving on.

All right. You know, this, this character is definitely, we're going to, we're going to go a little bit quicker here, Ryan. This character definitely on the naughty list. Oh, yeah. You know, may have tried to crush the rebellion. Maybe redeemable has some good qualities. Maybe.

Maybe. But we have to give a gift to Darth Vader. Oh, here we go. Oh, boy, buddy. All right, what do you got for Lord Vader? So, so what is the biggest thing that caused Lord Vader's downfall? Was his arrogance? Yeah.

Was it his, no. It was his rage. No, it was not his rage. It was not his arrogance. It was not his poor decision making. Was it Padme? Padmae really the source of all his problems. Padma did cause a lot of problems, but she, you know, not not the biggest reason, I think.

The biggest reason was he didn't have the high. ground. So I'm given Lord Vader a trip to Mount Everest. So he's got the dang high ground once and for all. What? You're giving him the high ground? The high ground. Mount Everest. He's just going to be at the top. He's got his built in oxygen tank. Obi-1, come find me. I guess he doesn't need oxygen. Does the suit protect him from the cold? This is, dude, this is the future, of course. He's finally got the high ground. He's finally got the high ground. That's what he needs. And a Sherpa, because you have to have a Sherpa.

So it's like a two-in-one gift at that point, right? Get the-the-shirpa, gets to see the site. I don't know if this is the most genius thing ever, the stupidest thing I've ever heard, Ryan. It's probably both. I, okay, well, I don't even know what to say on that. Get it, top that, top it. I don't think it, okay, because he's got the high ground. Nothing can go higher than that, right?

Well, I was going to get Vader a certificate to a really posh, spa that does excellent skin care treatments, you know, and just trying to help some of that look, you know, a nice facial, a soothing mask, an aloe mask, or whatever the heck people get at these spas that make their skin look glowy and smooth. And I thought, you know, I can't even argue with, he's got the high ground. We're giving him a trip to the top of Mount Everest. All right. I will say you did have a, you had an alternate that you told me, and I thought it was really good, is you said a beach vacation because Anakin hates the sand. Yeah, I was trying to get a little goofy on that one. That one was

pretty good, too. I got one for Vader, but I did think about a beach vacation just to just to kind of tease him a little bit. Yeah. But all right. You know what, Ryan, we have time for our very last one on this. We promise the people a list of 10 and give him a list of 10. We will our final character what do you get for the man that knows everything ryan that sees all and has infinite knowledge of things we are giving a gift to ma boy mamir from god of war from norse mythology famously the one that has the knowledge of all realms and all the all things i guess um maybe he doesn't have a body but you know that's a that's neither here there. So, all right, is it you gave, oh man, yeah, you led with Mount Everest. So I guess it's

my turn. I just wanted to do something silly and stupid for Mimir. And I don't know why this kind of makes me giggle inside because it's the dumbest gift ever. I am giving Mimir a coffee mug that says world's greatest severed head, right? Now, he can't drink coffee because he ain't got no hands, but he can just sit right next to him and wish that he could drink out of it. Oh, man. Oh, brother. That's, that's quite, that's quite a gift. I could just hear his voice being like, brother, what am I supposed to do with this?

Brother. Like, I appreciate it, but, uh, what am I supposed to do? It's a coffee mug. Yeah. But he is. You're the world's greatest severed head, Mimir. We love you. you. It's like the cheesy gifts that like a kid gives their dad, you know, that the dad just

winds up loving because it's like the kids gave it to them. It's like, dude, I'm never going to use this. This is the most useless thing I've ever received. But you bought it for me. So, yeah, I'm going to, I'm going to use it. World's greatest severed head. World's greatest severed head. You know, some things can't replace sentimental, Ryan. That's true. I mean, there was a lot of good severed heads in a Futurama, though. If you remember, I never saw Futurama Oh my word Okay

We're not even gonna get into that Wait a minute Is this the Pinky the brain thing I feel like I've heard something No no no you know okay Okay no yeah we're not even going to get into that Because I that just blew my mind I'm gonna address that later with you off air

Because Futurama that's that's wild I was actually going to do One that you took earlier I was going to give him a mirror The Tesla robot And he could put his head on top of the robot so he could actually have a body again

and that unfortunately was taken and I don't want to double dip so I decided I am going to search and search the deserts of Agrabah for the lamp and give it to Mamir

so he can have the genie of the lamp and he can you can tell I'm making this up on the spot and he can have a wish to wish his body back do you think that's what he'd wish for that or like realm domination he's wishing for sigrin man he wants her back

queen valcary yeah he get he get his body back he get sigrid back and then he gets three wishes right and then he would uh and he wish back uh cratos's wife isn't that a thing though like what were the rules is you can't make somebody fall in love you can't i thought it was you can't bring somebody back from the dead you can't bring somebody back from the dead yeah so cradigran is still around though yeah yeah she's still around maybe if he had a body back then he could Wooher.

Now, I will say when I was, because you know me, I'm competitive and I was like, what does he actually need? I did think about Krang from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, his suit because it's an Android body. If you remember, it's like in the middle from the Teenage Muti Ninja Turtles. And I was like, well, just put Mimir's head right in the middle of that, man. Oh, that would be perfect. And then I just got stupid and I was, I don't know why it made me giggle, but I was like a coffee

mug, just sitting next to him. I'm going to pretend, I'm going to pretend you pick that. and then I'm going to give you the win because that's much better than it sometimes he just got to get somebody something funny you know so no because now I'm just picturing a mirror in the middle of the body I can't believe we both pick dating app for Bowser yeah I think it's he's putting it out there he's like hey I need love oh my goodness all right well that's it man we've given our gifts I didn't keep score again Ryan because as people know you and I aren't aren't so good at this and score things. So we're just going to declare this one a tie. Yeah. Yeah. Everybody wins on this

episode. Right. All right. Now, listen, if we missed the most obvious gift, you know, if you're like, you guys are idiots, man, how did you not think about this for Cortana? Join our Discord server. Hop in there and let us know what would have been a better gift for one of these characters. The link is in the episode description. All you got to do is look at this episode, scroll down, click that link, and you will be in gaming nirvana. Our community is absolutely fantastic. Everybody, I mean, we don't say this lightly, but legitimately, everybody that joins and starts chatting with people goes, oh my goodness, you guys were right. This place is fantastic. We get nothing out of this. There's no like monetary incentive for Discord. It's just we want a

place for gamers to be able to hang out, chat video games. It's family friendly. There's no toxicity. It is the most refreshing thing that you have seen on the internet. We guarantee it. So make sure you join our Discord server. If you liked this episode and you want to make sure you get more like it, make sure you click that follow button, that plus button in your podcast app. You know what? Tell a friend. As gamers, we all know other gamers, you know? And so the next time you're chatting with your buddies, you're playing some call of duty or overcooked or whatever you're playing, ask them. Say, hey, you guys ever listen to some gaming podcasts? You know, you guys should absolutely check out the video gamers podcast that helps us out immensely to get

the word out there and hey if you want to be more like dk matt and soul beetle who just signed up to support the show you can do that at multiplayer squad dot com that's it for this one ryan that was that was that was that was good nothing beats giving gifts to people right yeah we're we're men of the people we just are gift givers all right so that's it for this episode we hope you enjoyed it Happy holiday season, everybody, and until next time, happy gaming. See ya.