Video Gamers Podcast - We Asked for Our Dream Video Games… The Monkey Paw Ruined EVERYTHING – Gaming Podcast

Episode Date: January 26, 2026

Gaming hosts Josh, Ryan, and Ace are diving into a twisted new challenge where they turn Monkey Paw wishes into gaming nightmares with diabolical results. What starts as a love letter to their favorite video games quickly spirals into cursed sequels, broken mechanics, and studios getting exactly what they asked for. We break down each wish and how it backfires. From dream remakes that ship unfinished to bold new systems that ruin beloved franchises, this is a video games fever dream you won’t believe. If you love gaming, chaos, and watching perfect ideas implode, this one’s for you on the Video Gamers Podcast.   Thanks to our MYTHIC Supporters: Redletter, Disratory, Ol’ Jake, Gaius, Jigglepuf, Phelps and NorwegianGreaser, and Dettmarp   Thanks to our Legendary Supporters: HypnoticPyro, PeopleWonder, Bobby S.   Connect with the show: Support us on Patreon: ⁠patreon.com/videogamerspod⁠ Join our Gaming Community: https://discord.gg/kKA7EMyM Follow us on Instagram:⁠ https://www.instagram.com/videogamerspod/⁠  Follow us on X:⁠ https://twitter.com/VideoGamersPod⁠  Subscribe to us on YouTube:⁠ ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@VideoGamersPod?sub_confirmation=1⁠    Visit us on the web:⁠https://videogamerspod.com/⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello, fellow gamers, and welcome to the Video Gamers podcast. We've all got our gaming wishes, but as we all know, sometimes you have to be careful what you wish for. On this episode, we're using the Monkey Paw to wish for our gaming dreams, but we each get to sabotage those wishes with some truly diabolical side effects. Before we get to the chaos, some introductions are in order. I am your host Josh And joining me I wish she'd quit promising

That my crazy busy schedule is almost over And play games with us It's Ryan Listen I'm I'm working on stuff man Come on I'm trying I'm trying I did I did play two rounds of our creators Before we got on

And I was instantly like Oh my gosh this is my life now So I'm back in it baby back in. Yeah, I'm back in. You know, when you get a chance to play video games, which is like... No, whatever, no. Once every like nine days.

My job, obligations, kids, it doesn't matter. We're going back to games, baby. Yeah, there you go. Exactly. There's a reason you started a gaming podcast, Ryan. You know, so you have to work and do that, you know? I forgot about that loophole. My bad.

All right. And joining us, I wish his favorite genre of games. was actually fun. It's Ace. You, I can't even say what I want to say to you right now. Family show. Let me ask you. How many,

how many Metroidvanias are you going to talk about in the next indie episode? One. All right, it's one. There's one Metroid. Call me shocked. Color me surprised. Color me surprised.

At least there's a twist on it. It's not like, oh, it's another pixel art Metroidvania with hand-drawn graphics and beautiful music. Although it does have that. Yeah, exactly, exactly. And I just don't like Metroidvania's very much. They're not bad, but they're not great. I don't know.

I'm getting more and more hyped on picking up Mio possibly. So, especially if you're doing it only took us picking on him like eight times, Ryan, before he's like, okay. Well, I think it may have some more gameplay. I was like, maybe, maybe if I am time. Yeah, it does look pretty good. That one like, here's the problem. I pick it up, I'd play it for four hours and then I go, yeah, Metroidvanias aren't really my thing. Stop. I'm going to start raining on

Metroid Vannios. We got to go. Yeah. Well, guys, we have this is going to be an awesome episode. This is going to be a fun one. We all got to, we here's how this is going to go down. At least I think. Who knows, man?

We all came up with five gaming wishes that we have. We may not get to this entire list because let's be honest, we get off topic a lot. But we all came up with our wishes. we shared our list with the other guys so that they could then come up with ways to sabotage our wishes,

which should lead to some pretty hilarious moments and some really funny ways to just ruin somebody's wish on this. You know, I think I had more fun coming up with ways to ruin y'all's wishes than I did like trying to come up with my own wishes. 100%. Absolutely. So the way it's going to work is, you know, we'll just say our wish.

and then the other two are going to chime in with how they plan on ruining that. And then we'll just, we'll go from there. But before we get to that, guys, you know, wishes do come true. Because on this podcast, we have been wishing for people to support the show to keep this podcast going year after year. And we say, you know what? I wish there was people out there that wanted to just go the extra mile, that found the kindness in their heart to support this podcast,

that were willing to take the time, you know, three minutes, three minutes out of their day. I wish they'd spend those three minutes to head over to Patreon to sign up and support this show. And then I went, you know what, let's just make it even easier. Let's just put the link right in the episode description. So they don't have to go to Patreon. They don't even have to type in a URL. All they got to do is just click something. And we've been wishing for that.

And, you know, every now and then, somebody answers the call like, Bucking Picks who signed up for rare status on Patreon. Yeah. Thank you so much. Thank you very much. For making wishes come true. And if you want to be the kind of person that makes wishes come true, you can support the show over on Patreon as well.

And just in case you didn't pick up on it, there's a link in the episode of the description. All you got to do is click that link and you're there. And hopefully we won't make such a ridiculous segue again. I don't know. I might put that up as a short with like in the. That was a good segue, Ryan.

Look, I fully made me a disease. I don't know what it is, but he like gave me something like a. On the bold predictions episode, I had a terrible segue into the ad break. I admitted it. I admit when I have bad segways.

This was a good segue, Ryan. All right, guys, without further ado, let's get into our wishes. Who was it? Who wants to be the brave soul to go first?

I think you should. I'll be there. Since this is nobody volunteered, I'm going to be the brave soul here. And I'm going to start off with this one, because this is a longstanding wish that I have had for a long time. And that wish is, I wish that twisted metal is revived by Blizzard and made into a triple A title like only Blizzard can do with updated graphics, smooth gameplay and evolving characters and vehicles so that it becomes a worldwide phenomenon akin to the hero shooter, but brings back my beloved twisted metal series. All right.

What's say you, Jeannie's. Your wish is granted. I'm so excited. I love it. However. Go ahead, Ace. Yours first. Now it is a free to play online PVP game based around the Twisted Metal TV show.

and no lore from the games makes it. Oh, no. No. I don't feel like playing as Anthony Mackey. They're evil. I tried watching the show. I've got like four episodes in and I was like, man, this just is not it for me, man. Like, oh, ace.

Yeah, that's a good one, dude. That's good. All right, you ready for mine? Yeah. I'm so excited for this one. Okay. You get Blizzard, twisted metal. What could go wrong, right?

But you know what? You know what they create? They create a cozy life sim where players now run a car dealership and you're selling the vehicles instead of smashing into each other. Twisted metals your car dealership, bud. That is evil, man. That is diabolical. That is a cozy game with selling cars? Car dealerships, twisted metal.

Ryan, number one, you know I hate cozy games. Oh, that had no factor in this. at all. And I hate cars because I was in the automotive industry for 16 years. Oh, you're, okay. Well, Ryan, you win that one. That's like Emperor Palpatine levels. That is disgusting. I don't know that I, you know what? I'm not sure I like this episode anymore. I think we're going to see like how dark some people. I told you I was excited, man. I told you. I was right. Ryan's like, this is my feeling hard. The whole time I'm just like cracking up. I'm just laughing at the computer, just typing all these up like oh that's going to be great.

All right, Ryan. Well, you know what? Let's turn it over to you then, buddy. Oh, am I the one we're doing now? Okay. Yeah. So I am going to go with, uh, my wish would be that single player games will, uh, remain or

take the reign of king again over multiplayer. Oh, all right. This year. Go ahead, Josh. Oh, you want, you you want single player games to be the king again? Well, you know, the king of single player games, Ryan was Tetris. Oh, no. So now every single player game is just hundreds of iterations of Tetris, Ryan. Oh, no.

The king of single player games, buddy, you got what you asked for. I hope you like Tetris and stress. Just pieces falling way too fast. That's very similar. I can see your anger. I can feel it. I can feel it. That's very similar that I was going to say. I was going to say, the king of single player games is Minecraft in my opinion.

Oh, no. Every game is just Minecraft, but you can never invite friends, and you're just by yourself all the time. Solo Minecraft forever? Solo Minecraft forever. I don't know which one's worse, man. Just dig a hole. Yeah. Solo Minecraft forever.

Oh, no. Those are both horrible. All right. We both looked like, oh, what's the best game? Yeah. Oh, man. And we did pick two of the top games of all time there, A, so we know. We know our games, which is nice.

All right, let's see what we can do to poor little innocent ace over here. Poor little ace. Come on, little ace. Let's hear you wish. Come on little ace. I hate myself. What's your wish, little ace. I have a very simple wish for the monkeys paw.

I simply humbly ask for Bloodborn on PC playable. Oh, that's a wish. Sorry, guys, some wishes can't be granted. Yeah, that's just like, monkeys paw just doesn't. It doesn't curl. It's like, No. I'll,

I'm gonna jump in. I'll jump in on this one. Fine, Ace, wish granted. But due to a personal crisis with one of the developers, the game is only coded to be played

with mouse and keyboard only. Oh. That's disgusting. I mean, can that even work? People play Souls games on mouse and keyboard. That's wild. I love mouse and keyboard,

but I will never play a, Souls game on a mouse and keyboard, dude. It just doesn't work for me. All right, Ryan, what do you got? Well, you know, aligning with that issue with the developers, you know, unfortunately, the game is very unoptimized and it's locked at 15 FPS. Oh, no. It's basically unflatable.

That's half what it runs at now. 15 FPS. I would. Good luck with any boss you want to try to beat. But, you know, you got it on PC, right? That's what you want. Yeah. That's what you're looking for.

I got exactly what I wanted. You know, I would love to be a genie to just do this. Yeah, I'm not going to lie like a side note. This is what he wants to be. Just to screw people over and troll people like with their wishes because they think all their wildest dreams will come true and then they don't. I love it. It's brutal. All right, Josh. Back to you. You ready for my next wish boys? Yes. Yeah. What's your next one? I wish that High Guard actually releases on the 26 and it's everything was on release. The character's unique. The combat is smooth. And this launches the hero shooter genre to the next level. Go ahead, Ryan. I want to see what you cooked up for High Guard. So for High Guard, you know, I would love that for you, Josh. I would love that.

But there's one issue. And unfortunately, it's only releasing on PlayStation 5, which were there in turn, you have to finally buy a PlayStation 4. even though it's at the end of its lifespan. No! No! Why? PS5 exclusive, baby.

All right. Highguard releases. It's the greatest hero shooter anyone's ever seen, which means all the other hero shooters give up and delist themselves immediately. All you have is High Guard now forever. That's okay. That's fine.

I don't know if that's okay. I mean, I don't play rivals in Overwatch is you know. But you won't get another one. You will never see another hero shooter ever again because no one believes they can Yeah, ever again. No one believes they can ever top high guard.

Oh. Yeah, he didn't get it at first. No future ones? You didn't understand that. No future ones? No, this is the peak of innovation. Gamer ADD, you're gonna, you know, no, you can't go anywhere else, brother. You're stuck with High Guard forever.

Dang. I mean, either you never play High Guard because it's on PS5 or you're stuck with it. never, I thought I'd never get tired of Rocket League and then, you know, all games come to an end. Dang it. You hit the wall eventually. You mean driving a car hitting a soccer ball? It could get boring. What?

After 2,000 hours, Ryan, I finally got bored. Yeah, have two hours. Dang it. More like two hours. Well, I don't like either one of those, man. Those are, you guys are mean. That's what's so fun about this. I love this game so much.

I'm not even kidding. This is the best show prep I've ever done. All right, Ryan, well, you've got to make your wish. Okay. Oh, Monkey's Paw. I wish for the Elder Scroll 6 release date and it will be this year. All right. The Elder Scrolls release date is this year.

However, you are going to be hit by a car the day before it releases. Oh, no! Wait, wait, wait, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Am I hit by a car and killed? or just like maimed? Your arms are horribly maimed. You can't play video games. You can't play it.

Everyone else is playing it around you. Oh no. Because I've had, I've like been injured and like had knee surgery and then I just sat up and played Witcher 3 for like two weeks straight. Like it was amazing. I'm like this is the best. But,

okay, that's, that's not as good. Dang it. Wow. I didn't go nearly as dark as. Yeah. Like ACE is just trying to kill me.

That's all. Hey, you live. You just got broken arms and everyone else is going to play. it before you ever get a chance to. Dang it. You wished for the Elder Scroll 6 to release this year, Ryan,

and your wish is granted. It releases the same exact day as GTA6, and you now are forced to choose which game you love more. You know what, though? Like, that means if GTA 6 is released, then I'm going to win the draft. I don't know that.

I'm good. That's this year, baby. I'm good. Let's go. I think Josh is win. Yeah. I mean, his wish is not going to get by a car.

I wasn't trying to just like kill everybody on everyone. I know. I just trying to destroy me. And I know Ryan's like indecisiveness. Like which one would you play first, Ryan? I would play Elder Scrolls for sure. I would. Yeah. 100%.

That's one. I would, I would bounce probably between the two to like get a feel of them because obviously they're going to be huge and we have a video game podcast. But I mean, the main one I would play if I didn't have anything was, was Elder Scrolls. Okay. And how would it for you...

Oh, go ahead, Josh. I was going to say, your PlayStation can only hold one game in its storage, so you can't play the other without beating the first one and uninstalling it. Would you still go with Elder Scroll 6?

No. I would go with GTA 6, so I could go through it and then I'd knock it out and then I'd go to Elder Scrolls so I can explore. For sure. That's fair.

Fair enough. All right. Who's turn to it? It's up to me now. Your turn ace. Oh, Monkees Paw, I wish for an HD remake of two of the best Zelda games of all time, Ocarina of Time and Majors Mass. Oh, I love it.

You first or me? I'm going on this one. All right, you go. All right, Ace, your wish is granted. Oh, finally. Except Nintendo's going to charge $100 for each one. They're going to come with $30 DLC packs needed to finish each game's story. And it's going to add 15 new amoeboes.

that are required to experience all side quest content in the game. You just ruined Zelda for everyone forever. Oh, wait until you hear mine. Don't give Nintendo ideas. You wish for this. Don't give Nintendo ideas. Dude, you don't think Nintendo's already planning on that? Come on.

Like, yeah, they're not going to go that route. I know, eventually. All right, Ryan. What horrible thing if you could do. Can you make it any worse? You thought that was bad. So your wish is granted. you get these both of these games,

but you have two minute in-game ads every 20 minutes to help support your game. Nintendo's just, you know, they've got to make that money, man. They got to make that money somehow. Two minutes. You can't take 10% of your game time to support the development of this game. Yeah. What do you have against Nintendo?

Yeah, come on, dude. They don't need ad revenue for one thing. They're a company. Of course they need ad revenue. Their entire console is ad revenue. You're going to be playing Okorina time and the state farm's going to pop up and then like... I remember the water temple trying not to drown and I can't even interact because the ads playing. Do you need life insurance?

State farms got you covered. Jake's here. Jake's here a state farm. Yeah, you just hear the hearts beeping in the background. Yeah, I just hear myself dying in the background. I can't do anything. about it. That's disgusting.

That's diabolical. I told you I had a lot of fun with this. All right. What I got is an ad break. We'll be right back after this short break. Adobe Acrobat Studio your new foundation.

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Adobe.com slash do that with Acrobat All right Well guys these wishes Have not gone real well So far Oh man Okay my next wish

I wish that VR technology discovers a way to fully eradicate motion sickness Using built in display technology And it overcomes One of its biggest hurdles leading to a human

emergence of AAA VR content for the world. All right. Your wish is granted. People can play VR now without being motion sick. However, it quickly becomes an oversaturated market full of AAA slop. And the prices on all games go up because now they're VR compatible. Ooh. That is gross.

If you guys have a game that's like, okay, this is a segue. way, like, if a game is playable normally and in VR, does the VR aspect even interest you in that case? I don't know. If I could play it, yeah. If I could play it, maybe, I don't want to play everything I play in VR. That's for darn sure. Like, I play some scary stuff.

I feel like I either want to play VR or I want to play PC. But if a game does both, it's kind of like I have to just choose. Like, I'm not interested in both, if that makes sense. Yeah, but like, what if all developers just started attacking on an extra 30? dollars onto their games just because they also can be played in VR. But then it depends on how the VR is because if the VR is really good and nobody gets motion sick anymore, like that actually could be a cool thing. Enjoy Hades too in VR. That would be so sick.

I mean, that actually would be kind of cool. It would be so cool. What are you talking about? Moline away, like just zipping around and, yeah. I don't know. I think even with the motion sickness things, I would get sick with doing that. Probably so, but. All right.

What's your wish, man? Well, uh, or no, wait, this is your sabotage. This is my sabbatized. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, so, you know, I love your thought process. And I'm so glad the cure worked. Your wish has been granted. But unfortunately, you know, now, once you play the VR game, you know, you get nausea with any other game.

What? Oh, no. VR games are, are the new golden era. amazing, but I flip the coin. You can no longer play regular games without getting nauseous. Oh, you could only play in VR. Yeah. Forever. That sucks. That does suck. That really sucks. Ryan's way too good at this, dude. I love this game. I love this game so much. Dude, what's weird is, like, I do not get motion sickness from a monitor, but I know a lot of people that do. Like, even my daughter. Yeah, dude. Like, my daughter's like, I can't play like this, like a certain

game because she's like it makes me kind of dizzy and like motion sick feeling almost and I'm like off of a monitor but I know there's a lot of people that can't play certain games because of that I could spend three times in this chair and I'd want to puke like I just oh dude spinning yeah you can you can play this beautiful VR game but you know what then you're going to get sick when you play regular ones Ryan Ryan is winning for evil evil yeah no kidding jeez I'm the evil I'm the even Ryan put like a lot of thought into this. Oh, I told you I was so excited for this. Yeah, I know. All right, Ryan, let's hear your next wish. Oh, okay. Um, I'm interested to see what you guys are going to do with this one. Uh, I wish that GTA 6 is not going to be delayed and it will launch this year

flawlessly. Oh, all right. You want to start off on this one, Ace? Yeah, all right. If GTA 6 comes out this year, it launches, it's flawless. There were no delays. However, Some out of the shadow indie game just showed up out of nowhere the same day and completely overshadows GTA6 and nobody even thinks about it because they're playing that instead. Oh no. Expedition 32. Yeah. Expedition 33 DLC drops or Silk Song D.L.C. And everyone's like, oh, more of this.

And everyone just completely forgets it. Ryan can't even fath of a world where that exists, man. He's like, whatever. That's not a real world. Okay. Let me, let me try this evil. evil angle for Ryan. Okay, Ryan, GTA 6 isn't delayed.

The launch is flawless. The servers hold up to the massive influx of people. And while the launch is flawless, the game is plagued with political messaging of all kinds throughout the entire story. Oh, no. You bombed by everybody. Yeah.

How do you like that, Ryan? You know, that's honestly. like the only way you could have taken it. That is the easiest way to ruin a game. That is like, yeah, to do like a crazy, like political over the top messaging for, you know, uh, the developers. I was trying to think like, oh my God. That's the one way the GTA six is just atrocious.

That's why I put in like a flawless like delivery. I know. When you tried to do the same launch thing, I was like, oh, I got it. I got it. Oh, that's so good. Oh my gosh. That's, you know, I'd rather another game release. Like, yeah, I think you'd rather be overshadowed by some other kind of game.

That's fine. Release another awesome game that I maybe like or don't like. Like, it's fine. Put out silks on two. I don't care. Yeah, right. All right, Ace, you're up. What's your next wish?

My next wish. We've heard nothing of this game. I want to know, can I have persona six? Uh, you can. Wish granted. Yeah. Your wish is granted. We're going to call it persona 6-7.

Oh, no. In which the game was developed. I'm not showing, I'm not showing my kid for that one. I'm not showing my kid this. Oh, man. Ever. As soon as this was like persona 6, my brain is said it was like 6-7.

I was like, well, I know how I'm ruining this wish. Gosh, darn it. Yeah, that ruins persona pretty well. That's. Oh, my days. Did you just six-s? if we do get a persona six announcement this year now, now you're going to do that anyway. Yeah, right?

It's just going to do that. Ryan, can you top that one, buddy? Okay. Well, you have persona six. It is, it is the game that you wanted, but, you know, to advance, you got a little hiccup that you got to, you got to pass. It is released, but there is a social simulation portion that now requires you to go outside and meet new people in real life touch grass explore the world to progress within the

game. Ew. Yeah. introverts everywhere screaming Ryan. That is not for personal fans. Yeah. Anyone that plays persona is probably not one to do that. So that's where I'm, uh, yeah, you definitely nail, nail that one on the head.

I was like, yep, nope, nope. I don't like that at all. All right, Josh, you're up. All right, back to me. Here we go. My wish, Jeannie, I wish that major AAA publishers lose money with flop after flop and fire all their corporate suits so that they'll be replaced by lifelong gamers who put gamers first. I want to see a massive shift away from the soulless focus on profits over fun. And I want to see the golden age of gaming again. Oh, the golden age of gaming. Nobody would ruin this wish.

Who could ruin the golden age of gaming? Well, all your favorite franchises have now been shelled forever by these gamers of a new age, whose idea of a golden age of gaming, his friend slop and cozy hangout games for the rest of your life. No, not more cozy games. I like how we keep making a play cozy games. I feel attacked on these, man. What the heck? It's your hate of Starry Valley.

He becomes the number one game in the world. Oh, man. I love it. I love it. Well, you know what? You could choose that or, or, you know, your golden age arrives. You have everything you ever dreamed of. But unfortunately, this golden age of gaming comes to fruition through a VR simulator game

in the dystopian future where nobody goes out, nobody does anything else other than this golden age of gaming. And they live in the world. Think ready player one, the oasis. Wait, how's this bad thing? The world would stop. What do you mean? Of course it's a bad thing. The world didn't stop and ready player one.

Yeah, they still had, they lived in like, they lived in the stacks. It was just RVs like stacked on top of each other. Like that sounds good to you? Yeah, but they were alive. In the oasis. Yeah, exactly. That's how cool they looked in the oasis though. Oh, my days.

Josh could have hair again. Yeah, I can have hair. flowing beautiful locks, man. Okay, that was a good one, Ace. That was pretty solid. Dang it. Okay, I thought that would be more, like, frowned upon, but I guess you guys just, that's the life you want to live.

Wait, no, it's over to Ryan, actually. It's over to Ryan, yeah, yeah, Ryan. Is it me? Yep. Yep. Okay. I will pull up my stuff here. Let's see.

Oh. Oh. So, I wish Mr. Monkey Paw, if you, if you please treat me gentle, gentle. because I've been waiting for a while. Can I get a Half-Life-3 release announcement date this year? This year? You want a release date for this year? Of some kind, maybe.

Oh, good news, buddy. It's coming in 2050. That's what his boss says. Oh. Dang it. One day. On mine, I'm going to go with what Ryan wrote initially, which was I wish for a Half-Life-3 announcement of,

some kind. I guess I didn't say this year in my chat. Yeah, no, that is my bad. Guys, Gabe Newell's doing a press conference. He's got an announcement for Half Life 3. And that's that he will never make Half Life 3. And you guys need to give up. You just deleted it from existence like that? No. I mean, he just said he wanted an announcement. That's, that is what I said. That is what I asked for. What you wish for, man. You got a word. And my bet on this year, that was It's above, so I said it. But like, no, I literally just said, I wish for Half-Ly-3 announcement of some kind. Yeah, that's what I have.

So this is why this is the lesson that all, hopefully everybody takes away from this episode. Be careful how you phrase your wishes, people. If I want you wishful. You like, Josh, write a paragraph in your head when you want to waste for something. And you won't get sad. Ace, did you give your, uh, no, I'm on to my next one here, which, oh, you mean his Wait, no, you got to give your sabotage for Ryan. Yeah, I did.

It ain't coming out until 2050. He'll be long dead. Oh, that's 20. Yeah, yeah. I just said it's not coming out at all. He ain't going to see it. A's is nicer than me. I mean, he ain't going to see it.

I'll be alive in 2050, dude. What do you? Yeah. Just be real old. Don't you wish that evil on me? Don't you wish that evil on me? All right, yes, it's the next one. Possibly, if you call that living.

All right. I wish for an Assassin's Creed game set in the Aztec era. Oh. Well, Ace, let me be the first to grant your wish for you. Fine, Assassin's Creed set in the Aztec era. Except you're going to play as the colonial colonizers fighting to liberate the evil Aztec people. The vibe is full colonial with powdered wigs, long coats, and muskets. I don't think that's who was there during the Aztec.

I thought they were conquistadors. I thought it was the Spaniards. Yeah, I thought it was the Spaniards. Wasn't it the Spaniards? I'm pretty sure it was the Spaniards. Whatever. Who cares? History, you know, sometime long ago. Hey, we're wishing on monkey paws, dude.

Like, you can do whatever you want. You're turning right. I'm the genie on this one. I'm the genie on this one. Historical context be damned. Like, it doesn't matter. We're good to go. Yeah.

Can't tell me what to do. I'm the genie. Yeah, that's a few hundred years difference between. So you get the. But there's like aliens and stuff and Oh now there's like a crystal skull There's like a crystal skull in it Indiana Jones swings by

But like he likesakes this time Which is kind of cool The fact is like Ubisoft has lost the plot so much With Assassin's Creed that's possible We're like yep we got Indiana Jones in this DLC It could happen Who knows You didn't know that

You can buy the Indiana Jones skin Oh gosh Start going with the skin All right So, so sabotage this. In my world, your, your wish is also granted. But,

Assassin's Creed game, where stealth is entirely removed, and every mission is a straight up run and gun, button mash affair. That's what in the world, even? Yeah. Yeah. I thought everything that makes an Assassin game and Assassin game.

That was my thought. It was like, what can I do to make Assassin's Creed fans? Somehow you made an Assassin's Creed worse than Ubisoft. So congratulations. Hey, you want to hire me, Ubisoft? That's hard to do, man. That's hard to do. I mean, you got a job application.

Before Ace's been hoping for a good Assassin's Creed for like forever, man. And it's just never going to happen. I'm excited for Hex. I will say, I am excited for that one. I hope it's good. You said that about Mirage too, Ace. I like Marage. I liked Mirage.

I didn't like Shadows. I didn't like Shadows. I didn't like Shadows. I liked Mirage. I didn't like Shadows. Okay. All right. Is it back to me or Ryan?

I think it's back to me. It's your chair, bud. Yeah, it's your last one. Yeah, it's your last one on our lists here. I wish that a new genre of game is born akin to an MMO. I wanted to be a cooperative experience where hundreds, if not thousands of players, have to work together to accomplish monumental tasks that require people to come together and work

together and it becomes the largest gaming phenomenon since World of Warcraft. All right, buddy. Your wish is granted this game exists. Everybody loves it. It has the worst art style and music ever that only you think this and everyone else thinks you're crazy. Oh, so it's like super bad pixel graphics. Yep.

Super bad pixel graphics. Think me into the hallower. And nobody else sees it that way but you and you are just the stink. of the group. What was the movie where the guy thought all the women were really pretty, but they were all, like, really fat and his friends all, like, shallow how? Is it shallow howl? Yeah, with Jack Black. Yeah. Yeah. Where it's like, yeah, he sees, they all look like super pretty, but like, in the real world, they're all like just big backs. The girl's mom's all, like, skinny, and he's like, oh, I see where she gets her figure from and she's like four of pounds.

Everyone's just constantly trying to convince you this game is the best and it looks great. You would throw pixel art at me, Ace. That's the point of this. game, dude. What are you talking about? All right, Ryan. How are you going to sabotage me? You know, this one it's going to be a good game. You're going to love it. And you're going to

have to love it because extreme patience is required. This thing is a monumental task. Everything is real world time. So to accomplish these things, building a simple bridge, doing a simple construction, moving

throughout the world takes real life hours and hundreds of players if not more to accomplish any task. So it is an accumulation like you said of the people but it's time invested. So basically the road

construction crews in Arizona. You're going to stand around where we just have to wait years like years for road construction. Years and years to get stuff done. Oh my gosh. If you join the beginning you can't leave until the starter pass but carved by all the other adventures. Right. in the same town with like hundreds of thousands of people.

Why can't I leave? Well, you gotta get to work, newbie. Come on, let's go. You gotta help build the road, man. Hit us with, uh, wait. Well, Ryan, no, it's Ryan. No, it's Ryan. Ryan, Ryan.

Ryan, right, Ryan. Last one, buddy. Okay, so I wish for a generational game, but I would like a new IP. It doesn't have to be, you know, multiplayer, single player, anything in general, but just like a new IP think Halo, GTA, wow, something that is,

takes over the world, like something kind of like Josh's, but just doesn't have any specifics. All right. Your wish is granted. This new IP takes off like wildfire, but quickly becomes oversaturated, and people start to call it

overrated and an industry plants. Only I call things overrated. Overrated, Ryan can't escape the overrated thing. Yeah. Oh, man. Dang it. All right, all right, all right.

what you got. One up, you here, Ace. All right. Ryan, your wishes, granted, your new game that you wanted that takes over the world, it's a new gotcha game with decidedly cutesy theme causing men everywhere to swallow

their masculinity and have to explain to their wife and kids why they're playing it every single day. That'll do it. Dang it. A gotcha game will do it. Oh, that's good. All right. I'll bring it home here with my last one here.

I wish that infamous second son got a sequel. this is the game that I had to look up okay now yeah I can't believe you didn't know this game is the one where the dude is like flying around and grabbing helicopters with like the black tendrils and then that's swinging

them around uh parasite I believe that's a different game just like I watched the wrong trailer no no I watched infamous second son and I don't even know what this game is it's just a dude like shooting out like laser balls and weird beams at people and stuff and I, yeah.

Prototype. My bad. Prototype. Prototype. That's the name of that game. Parasite is an anime I watched. They're all the same. Like some guy with Parasite's weird, by the way.

Parasite is very weird. The dude gets hit by the car and then it's like, yeah, anyways. Okay, so you want a sequel to infamous second Sun Ace? Yeah. Bring back Toy Baker. Your wish is granted Ace. But in an effort to reduce violence in games,

the developers turn toward their political beliefs and make the game an expression of the political discourse in the world, combat is replaced with an in-depth dialogue system where you try to use facts and reasoning to sway your enemies to turn from their evil ways and unite together against an oppressive political regime.

Did you know that game exists? What you just talked about exists already? Oh my gosh. It's called disco-elisium, isn't it? No, it's so much worse. That is awful. I hate you. That's awful. Don't ruin it. I had too. I couldn't not tap into the political well once

again because I didn't know infamous second son but I was just like how can I ruin this what's your other one how can I ruin this? You have two? Did you say you had two? No no no oh okay oh I thought you were saying you had two of them. No okay no I was just saying that's because I ruined GTA 6 with a bunch of this is a good keep politics out of games people. You don't talk about you don't want to do that.

I don't care what your political beliefs are nobody care like but here's the thing keep them out of video games gamers don't want that stuff in our games. Yeah. So there you go. Ryan, how are you going to ruin Ace's sequel to infamous Second Sun? You know, I, um, I, when I wrote this up, I was thinking just of what would make it horrible. And the more I think about it, the more I may have missed the mark because it's Ace, but, but I'm going to say that the sequel is 100% a micro transaction system and selling basic powers costs. 10 bucks each. $10 each. Money to buy your powers, your abilities, your skins, everything.

No, that, the satisfying, you don't understand, Josh, the satisfying part of infamous is unlocking the powers through the story and countering the antagonists. Now you get to unlock them through purchases, Ais. You don't have to spend all that time questing anymore. Wait, Ryan, do you at least start with the power or do you have to buy the first power? Oh, you've got to buy the first power, dude. You're going to have to skip, you're going to have to skip some bojangles. Bojanglers is going to have to wait.

The first power is the ability to sprint. There you go. Oh, man. I miss it from this, by the way. I love infamous. Oh, that sucks. Those are both terrible. You're both terrible for this.

Well, none of our wishes went the way we planned. Man, it's almost like wishing on a monkey's pause really irresponsible, guys. Yeah, you thought it through. Okay. Real talk. If you found one and it was like legit and real, would you do it? knowing what the potential outcomes could be. You can roll the dice sometimes, man.

Oh, me too. Monkeys paws always have a catch. So I don't know. I would have to think really hard about what I wanted first. In a heartbeat, dude. I would be like, it would be one, two, three, like just gone. They'd be gone in a heartbeat. Buddy, you'd be in Cuphead, you'd be the one of be like, put my soul on the table.

Yep. Oh, man. Guys, listen, okay, well, everybody got a look into our darker side on this episode. Y'all got real dark. We want to hear what is the most diabolical sabotage that you guys liked from this episode? Let us know in the comments section. This was a fun one. You know, and honestly, if you don't have a sabotage, let us know what your video game wish is.

You know, as gamers, we all have that thing that we would love to wish for and have happened. And we want to know what yours is. And, you know, hey, maybe, just maybe we'll respond in the comments with a sabotage of our own. How to ruin it. Leave your wishes. Leave which sabotage you think is best in the comments. And then we'll check those out and see what we can do there. If you're not part of our Discord server, we are almost at 1,300 gamers.

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