Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - A fond farewell to brunch and also humankind

Episode Date: September 19, 2026

This week, panelists Adam Burke, Shantira Jackson, and Sam Rocha talk about the AI apocalypse, beds full of bees, and the death of brunch. Plus, guest Hernan Diaz discusses his favorite pen and his new novel ‘Ply’Support public media with NPR+ and enjoy perks for over 25 podcasts like this one. This show’s perks include bonus episodes, the chance to be a contestant in those bonus episodes(!), and sponsor-free listening. Learn more at plus.npr.org.See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for sponsorship and to manage your podcast sponsorship preferences.NPR Privacy Policy

From NPR in WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Alzo Slade, your judge and scorekeeper. And I can't help but notice, that's two jobs, but I only get one check. Well, here's your host at the Student Breaker Theater at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois. Peter Sago. Thank you, Al. We do have a great show for you today. Later on, we're going to be talking to the Pulitzer Prize-winning novelist Ernest.

But first, the U.S. House of Representatives. This is true. just passed a law requiring car manufacturers to include AM radios in all the new cars going forward. That is a true thing. As you might expect, this was very popular with the older members of Congress. In fact, for this vote, Mitch McConnell came back to life.

There's no law requiring you to call in and play our games, but we hope you do anyway. The number is 1-3-8-Wait-wait, That's 1, 888-924-8-924. Now let's welcome our first list that are contestant. Hi, you're on, wait, wait, don't tell me. Hi, this is Katie from Nashville, Tennessee. Hey, Katie from Nashville, Tennessee. Can I just play on stereotypes

and assume you're in the music business? I am not. I am a bartender, so we can start you going. That is music business adjacent. Close enough. Yeah, yeah. You're not a musician, but you've thrown a lot of them out of your establishment.

Yeah, one or two, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Well, Katie, welcome to the show. Let me introduce you to our panel. First up, she's a writer and comedian who most recently wrote for Clean Slate, which you can see on Prime. It's Shantira Jackson.

Hi, Katie. Next, a comedian whose first collection of essays and drawings with whom I am well pleased is now available for pre-order from Kiko Press. It's Adam Burke. Hello, Katie. Hi, Adam. Hi.

And making her debut on this panel, she's the comedian you can catch on her show. Nervous laughter every month at the Lincoln Lodge right here in Chicago. Please welcome Sam Rocha. Hello, hi, Katie. So Katie, you're going to play Who's Alzo. This time Alzo Slade is going to read for you three quotations from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain two of them, you will win our prize. Any voice from our show you might choose in your voicemail.

You're ready to go? I'm ready. All right. Here's your first quote. It is an answer we got from Google. Gemini. It does not currently have the capability to destroy humanity. Now, Gemini is perhaps a little biased here, considering how many humans are sounding the alarm this week that what might destroy humanity? That would be artificial intelligence. Yes, AI. It's a little distressing when we asked

Google Gemini, are you going to kill us all? And we got that answer because it's stressed that it doesn't currently have the capability and added a little sad face emoji. The confusing thing is that the people warning us about AI are the people who are making AI. The CEO of Anthropic is basically

like, we've got to stop this. Does anybody know anybody at Anthropic? Are you worried, guys? I am worried about it. I worry about it every time I walk outside and I see those cocoa robots. I don't know if we're familiar with those things, but they're the delivery. The delivery guy.

And they trick you because they look cute at first. They put human faces on them with eyes and a mouth, and they'll give it a name too. Well, they've been doing this thing now where they do like ethnic names. I saw one name Natasha. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I saw one name Latasha and one named Manuel, and I was like, what are we doing here?

What's the deal? Yeah, Ranjee, almost broke my legs. I was like, you can't get me. I don't know. That's what I was saying. I was noticing that thing about the ethnic name. Is that better or worse? It's worse.

It should all be Anglo-Saxon names, right? Yeah, it should all be white people names. It's weird because, yeah. Only Dave should have to be scared to cross-traffic to bring somebody chick below. You know it's even worse. They're robots. They're not humans, but somehow the ones with ethnic names are still being paid less. Yeah.

No, Latasha is working hard. And I wasn't supposed to destroy all of us. It was just supposed to destroy musicians. Writers, editors, teachers, doctors, lawyers, programmers, and actors. I know a few podcasts that could destroy it. Exactly. Bill Gates, actually, Bill Gates wrote a 6,000-word essay about how AI is going to destroy. I didn't read it.

I had chat TV to summarize it. What was this summary? Chat to be a lot. Bill says it's going to be fine. Don't worry. All right, Katie. Here is your next quote. Sports, sports, sports, sports, sports.

That, as I'm sure you knew, was Sidney Sweeney, the actress and model who appeared in a controversial viral ad for a company that lets you bet on what? Well, I'm going to have to think real hard, but I'm guessing sports. Yes, sports. The ad features a naked Sidney-Sweeney holding sports equipment in strategic places and saying the word sports a bunch of times. It's caused backlash from tons of female athletes

who say it's demeaning. And it kind of is. It is strange to find myself saying, I expected better from you, online casino. I know that people are upset about her being naked and holding things. I'm upset because she really has never played a sport. Because nobody who has ever played softball. ever wants to be naked while they're doing it.

You're not going to slide home with no pants on. You can also tell she doesn't play sports. By the way, she says the word sports. Like she had never heard it before. It doesn't know what any of the objects she's holding are. Like, this is a weird plate. Well, it has apparently worked. This ad for this Australian sports betting site

has gotten 50 million views already, and that's fantastic marketing. For a betting website whose name, I assume, is like, footballboobs.com. She was, like, on a basket at one point. Yeah, she was sitting on a basket. That was physically impressive. A basketball rim, you guys. A rim. Yeah, a basketball rim.

Because if you don't know sports, you'll think she just on a basket. We got to be specific around here. That's true. Sports, sports. That's true. Sports, sports, sports. Sports. All right, Katie, your last quote is a restaurant goer talking about why a certain weekend tradition has lost its appeal to just about everyone.

I associated with oversized portions, mediocre food, and an entire afternoon disappearing. So what is finally going away? Oh, gosh. I feel like I should know this serving food for a living, but can I get a hint? No more like Eggs Benedict bars and a menu of Bloody Mary's. Brunch?

Yes, brunch. This week, the Wall Street Journal officially declared the death of brunch. People are tired. What, are you upset with me because they didn't like, you know, ease you into that bad news? I didn't start by saying brunch is very ill.

We're not quite sure. I was shocked to with it. I'd be right. I was insensitive. That guy's name is literally eggs, Benad. So this week, the Wall Street Journal did officially declare the death of brunch. People are tired of waiting in the long lines. People want to eat healthier.

And then, of course, there is the challenge of getting those tankers of Hollandease sauce safely through the straight of Hormuz. Are you guys brunch fans? I am a brunch fan, but I will say this is from the Wall Street Journal which I guess is really known for brunch reviews. Yeah. Like, I appreciate the source, but I can't take it seriously. I need a blog from a drag queen to tell me that brunch is dead.

Tell me brunches dead before I believe it. I like they're going to start calling it what it is, drunk at two in the afternoon. Well, that's the thing. I also love, I mean, because the big thing at brunches was the Bloody Mary bar. Yeah. Which is so clever, which was just a bartender's going, we do not want to make you drinks. Yeah.

Just do it yourself. It's basically self-checkout for alcoholics. Alzo, how did Katie do in our quiz? Katie is the winner. She got all of them right. Congratulations, Katie. We'll stop by your bar the next time we're in Nashville. We'd love to have you. It'd be great. Thank you so much, Katie. Take care. Okay, panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Sam, this week we learned about yet another new stress on marriages these days.

its wives having to make sure their husband has what? Has the right layout of the kitchen. You know how they don't, they don't know where anything is. Yeah. You hear this. Yeah, you hear this about husbands. We just don't know where anything is. Okay, I know that's not the answer.

We can ask for a hint, no. Okay. Wives and mothers are often arranging play dates for their kids, so. A friend? Yes. They're trying to get their husband's friends. If you think about it, it makes sense. Have you ever met a friend's husband

and you thought, huh, maybe he's really funny when it's just the two of them? You're not alone. According to the cut, more and more women are having a hard time socializing their husbands. Apparently, as marriages progress, wives put in extra effort to maintain their friendships. Well, husbands just find more things to do in the basements.

I don't think you needed a study. to say that it's hard to be friends with men. That's just be wasting money. So one psychologist put it, in addition to things like housekeeping, women also have to take on, quote, mankeeping, basically managing their husbands social lives like they were a toddler. So good news, honey, you're going over to Ryan's house

on Friday, and Rebecca said you should bring your iPad. I feel like this is just the wife saying, Get your ass out of the house. Yeah. Let's go ride our scooters. Let's go ride our bikes. Let's go have a snack. Coming up, our panelists regret buying something they saw on TV.

It's our bluff to listener game. Call 1-T-A-8 Wait-Wa-W-W-W-T-W-T-L-Me. We'll be back in a minute with more. Wait-W-W-W-T-T-L-M from NPR. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Alzo Slade. We're playing this week with Adam Burke, Shantira Jackson, and Sam Rocha.

And here again is your host at the Studio Burger Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sago. Thank you, Alzo. Thank you, everybody. Right now it's time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, Bluff the listener game. Call 1-T-A-W-A-Wa-W-W-T to play our game in the air. Hi, you are on Wait-Wa-Wat-W-Doh. Howdy? Who's this?

This is Christopher Richard from Chicago, Illinois. Hey! Where do you live? Are you close by? We could wait and come down and do this and do this. I know. It'd be nice, but I'm way up north in Rogers Park. Okay. Well, what do you do in the greatest city in the world? I am a singer and voice teacher.

No, really? That is great. Yeah. Let me ask you something. And I'm asking for myself. Is there anybody who sings so badly, naturally, that you simply could never help them learn to do it correctly? No, I think everybody can sing well. Just with a little love and training. That really split the room. Did you know what I said? Half of the people in here were like, no, they can't. I was tempted to try to prove you wrong, but these people are having a good time.

Why ruin it? Well, it's very nice to have you on the show, Christopher. You're going to play our game in which you have to tell truth from fiction. Alzo, what's Christopher's topic? As seen on TV, unfortunately. So many things can go wrong when you buy something that's advertising. on TV. I ordered a scrub daddy, but it was no more emotionally available than my regular daddy. Yeah.

Well, this week, television retail giant QVC sold something that required a pretty major apology. Our panelists are going to tell you about it. Pick the real one and get the wait-waiter of your choice in your voicemail. You're ready to play? All right. That's here first from Shantira Jackson. We are currently in the thick of fall wedding season, so the QVC channel, aka quality, value, and convenience, decided to offer a special flower bouquet called the Fall Explosion. The thought being that if you can't make it to a wedding in person, you can still have a blast celebrating the newlyweds by sending them a gift, chock full of dahlias, marigolds, and other fall favorites.

Each bouquet was meant to knock your socks off. The problem is that all of the delivery people were given a script to recite upon arrival, showing up announcing, hey, I got a special explosion in the box for the bride to be. With one delivery guide going as far as saying, be careful when you open that, it's the bomb. Needless to say, there were many reports of potential bomb threats throughout suburban neighborhoods. The head honchos at QBC quickly issued an apology, stating that when it comes to flowers,

sometimes they get it wrong. And to make it up the customers that were affected, they promised that if you call right now in the next 10 minutes, you can get two pairs of juggings for the price of one. The fall flower explosion freaks out some of its recipients. Your next QV apology comes from Adam Burke.

Time was when Halloween decorations were simple. Cute cobwebs made from asbestos and real spiders. But there's been a recent essence. escalation over-the-top ghostly decor, whether it's giant anatomically correct skeletons, or one of those life-sized motion-activated animatronics, which have literally scared the crap out of me. But the latest decoration innovation is less creepy and more, well, creepy. Meet Jabber in Jack, an animated talking pumpkin that spits out 40 seasonally themed quips and different scary songs at Passersby.

But according to a woman on TikTok, one tune hidden in Jack's repertoire gave her the wrong kind of shivers. The pumpkin starts by explaining how this villainous facade is just because I'm shy. Come closer. Before he tells you, he'll spoil you with my roasted pumpkin seeds and asks, how would you like to scream all night? Apart from being the only recorded instance of a white lady objecting to something pumpkin-related and spicy, the saucy-squashy serenade have generated many complaints, prompting apologies from both manufacturer Minescope and TV retailer QVC. NPR reached out to Jabbering Jack for comment, but his response isn't suitable for broadcast. Jabbering Jack, the dirty singing pumpkin.

Your last home shopping sorry comes from Sam Rocha. When Shirley Robinson saw blouses for sale during the 10th hour of her QVC marathon, she knew she had to have one. So she used her cell phone to call the number. on the screen. Then her house phone rang. She went to pick it up and she was on the other side. After a full minute of going, hello, this is Shirley. No, this is Shirley. I want to buy that blouse. No, I want to buy that blouse. She realized that QVC had projected her phone number on the screen. QVC blamed it on a graphics department error saying the number was right,

but the font made the sixes look like fives, confirming, as we'd all feared, that Pacifico brush stroke is simply too whimsical for a professional setting. For the rest of the day, Shirley fielded calls from people trying to buy a blouse. At first, she was annoyed, and then she saw it as a business opportunity. QVC has since apologized for the mix-up, but not before Shirley sold her entire wardrobe.

All right, these are your choices from Jantira, the poorly marketed fall explosion floral blquet, from Adam Burke, the dirty singing pumpkin jabbering jack, or from Sam, because they posted a woman's home phone number as the number to order, she ended up calling herself to buy a blouse. Which of these is the real story of a mistake on a home shopping channel? I feel like I want to go with the pumpkin.

Okay? Yeah. All right. I think we're going to go with the pumpkin. You're going to go with the pumpkin. Great. Well, to bring you the real story. story. Well, what can I say? Listen to this.

How would you like to scream all night? I'll feel you're right. That was scary. Jabbering Jack itself. The pumpkin sold on QVC, singing its freaky little song. Congratulations, Christopher. You got it right. You're into point for Adam, just for telling the truth. You've won our prize,

the voice of your choice, and your voicemail. Thank you so much for playing with us today. Thank you so much. It's been really fun. It's been great. Christopher, thank you. And now the game we call Not My Job. A handful of authors, of course, have won a Pulitzer Prize. But as far as we know, there's only one winner who can say their novel is the reason Dua Lepa met her husband.

That author is Arna Dias, whose new novel, Ply is out this month, and he joins us now. Hernan Dias, welcome to wait, wait, don't tell me. So obviously, we're going to start with this. It is true, in fact, that Duel Lepa first bonded with her now husband over your book trust, right? It is true. It is true. I think it's actually one of the first pictures they exchanged was the cover of the book. Because she's well known for her literary enthusiasm. This guy who she and Emmer, I said, oh, do Olipo, what are you reading? And she said, trust, and he said, me too. And off they went. But the question.

I think the line was, oh, we're on the same page. Oh. That's some sexy talk right there. Oh, that is. I heard it from the man himself. and, you know, as a writer, I am now married, but I was kind of jealous. Oh, sure. Yeah, sure. I mean, okay, so they bonded over your book, but are you sure they both liked it? There is nothing that brings people more closely together than dislikes.

There you are. It's true. Either way, you're happy. They bought the book. Yeah, it's true. I read this amazing story that I had not known about how your first book came to be published, which is that you sent it

to a small press non-profit in Minneapolis that was basically running a contest, submit your manuscript, and we'll publish the one we like best? Was it like that? Yeah, that's pretty close. I've been writing my entire life,

but I had an extremely hard time getting published. I was published in my late 40s. I was already completely bald. I'm sorry, what's wrong with that? Oh, best. He's saying there's a lot. There's hope for your next book. It was true that, thank you, and it was true that the genius could only emerge once there

was no hair in the way. Exactly. So anyway, so tell, go on. Yeah, so this independent publisher had one day a year of open submissions. I needless to say, did not have an agent, but I was ready, and I think they capped it at six or eight hundred submissions, which only took a matter of hours, you know, to reach that limit and I was ready that morning and sent it and on 4th of July weekend I heard back from the publisher and they wanted to to publish the book which was in the distance which is not my first

novel I have I have I have drawers full of manuscripts but that was the that was the one that got published first. Wow yeah and so and people may know that that your first published novel was a finalist for the Pulitzer Prize which is quite extraordinary for a first novel and one, I always like asking this of authors who struggle for a long time before they were finally discovered for their talent. Do you ever run into the many people who turned you down and sent you rejection notes, you know, and sort of smile in a winning way? I do. My favorite moment is when they go, so very nice to meet you. Yeah. Actually, we've already... I wonder, though, since you were able to pursue your art with such passion for what you were doing in isolation just for yourself,

is it actually harder now that you're an award-winning acclaimed novelist who everybody expects great things from? Parts of it are harder, but I also know the other side of this, of writing in complete solitude in this kind of solipsistic madness and keeping going despite the world telling you to please stop. I think I prefer these challenges to be one of the point. We also read that for all of this writing, including all those novels that didn't get published and now the novels that have been published to acclaim, you've used the same pen for 20 years?

This pen? That pen. It's here, yes. An old professor of mine gave it to me, I want to say almost 30 years ago now. I'm 52, so maybe a little less, actually. But yeah, it's still this pen. What would happen if you lost it?

So much ram in my head is devoted to the pen and to that question. What would happen? I lost it. I think I would move over to my second favorite pen, which is, do you guys know, I don't have one in the proximity. Do you guys know those big pens with four? colors. Oh yeah. I grew up with that. I think that is the most the human race is capable of. Right. When we invented that pen and I love those. That might help your art because you'd be like, well, this character is getting angry. I guess I'm changing to rent. I have one more question for you before we get to our game and that's, as I indicated, one of the things that makes you stand out, I think, as an author of literary fiction is how

different your books are. So your first published novel in the distance is a Western, or it's set in the Western United States in those days. As I said, trust is early 20th century, New York financiers and Europe. Ply, set in the far future, very sort of science fiction-y, speculative. What's your next genre? Have you considered, for example, Romanticy? It's going to have so many dragons, Peter. That's also, that's just a good title, so many dragons. Yes. All right, hear me out.

Dragons, but they play hockey and... Actually, he did rivalry. Well, Hernandias, it is an absolute pleasure to talk to you, and we've invited you here to play a game we're calling... You wrote Ply, but what do you know about two Ply? Yes, your novel is a single ply. We're going to ask you about something that, if you can afford it, comes in two-ply, toilet paper.

I am determined to lose. I think for a writer of your dignity and seriousness, there really is no other acceptable choice. But we are going to ask you three questions about toilet paper. Get two of those questions right. You win a prize for one of our listeners. Also, who is Hernandias playing for? Pete Schwartz of Forest Park, Illinois.

That's not far from here, so here we go. Here's your first question. Toilet paper really took off in the United States over the last 150 years or so. In fact, it was very important for the rise of Sears Roebuck Company. How so? Was it A, their first wildly successful product

was, quote, Sears Cotton Spools for Your Stool. B, the founder of the company, Richard Sears, was using an envelope as TP and said to himself, well, why not mail everything? Or C, their famous catalogs were widely prized as toilet paper. I'm going to go with A. You're going to go with A. Sears, remember he said he wanted to get it wrong. And I'm going to honor that. Your choice is A. I'm afraid it was C, in fact. In fact, so many people

used it as toilet paper that when they went in the 30s from plain paper to glossy, thousands of people wrote in to complain. Here's your second question. The Northern Tissue Company, back in 1935, started advertising their new innovation in the space. Toilet paper, that was what? A, ethically sourced. B, lovingly abrasive, or C, splinter-free. Again, A.

It was, in fact, C, splinter-free. Last question. Some people are serious about their toilet paper, including which of these? A, the late drug lord Pablo Escobar, who had his woven from silk by a private seamstress. B, the New York Jets, who ahead of an NFL game in London shipped over 350 rolls of toilet paper for the team's use, or C, Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney, who is required by law to use both toilet paper and pepia twillette every time. I'm going to stick with A.

You're going to stick with A. No, the real answer was B. The New York Jets, they have been told the British toilet paper was really thin, so they brought their own. Alzo, how did one of the leading literary lights of our time doing our quiz? He preserves his dignity by doing terrible. zero out of zero I think

honest to God I honestly think that if you had gotten any of those right I would have been a little disappointed so I congratulate you in maintaining your reputation I'll fail again I'll fail better

Hernandez is the Pulitzer Prize winning author of trust his new book Ply it's available for pre-order now it will blow your mind Hernandez thank you so much for joining us on Wait Wait a John Thomas

What a pleasure to talk to you. Thank you so much. Take care. In just a minute, Alzo tells you about the most stressful way to relax. That's on our listener Limerick Challenge. Call 1-8-8 Wait-W-W-W-W-W-Ted to join us in the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, from NPR. From NPR in WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

The NPR News Quiz. I'm Alzo Slade. We're playing this week with Adam Burke, Sam Rocha, and Shantira Jackson. And here again is your host at the Studio de Baker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagle. Thank you, Alzo. In just a minute, well, Alzo kept begging us to read some Limericks, and so we finally said, fine. That's our listener Limerick Challenge coming up.

If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-8-8-8-Wa-Wat. That's 1-88-9-24-8-9-24. But right now, panel, it is time for you to answer some questions from this week's news. Shantira, a new movie has thousands of people theorizing that rather than being enemies, as we have always thought, who might actually be lovers? The whales and the people with the yachts. Really? You're thinking about the orcas and the yachts there.

Yeah. Oh, wow. I didn't realize how horny Moby Dick was. It's right in the title. No, like I said, this is... It's telling you exactly what's going on. When he says, I stab at thee. He was talking about something entirely different.

I'll take a hint. I'll take a hint. You'll take a hand. Well, when you think about it, Meep, meep could mean I'm yours. Oh, roadrunner and coyote. They're lovers. They could have a thing for each other.

The theory, the theory, is that behind their long feud is repressed desire. It makes sense. We all know somebody whose love languages and vils. So this new movie is out, Coyote versus Acme, and these old characters are back in the news, and there are thousands of videos speculating about their secret romance on TikTok. This is a fan theory that makes you realize, boy, we are so hungry for heated rivalry season. I've seen this, yeah. It's based on if you watch those old cartoons that the Roadrunner never actually hurts Coyote.

It's Acme that's always hurting him. So it's just kind of like watching, it's like if your boyfriend's on jackass and you just kind of watch it. It's like, look what he's doing? You mean the roadrunner could stop this madness at any time? Yeah, but he's just like, ooh, look at my boy, jump off a bridge. I think Wally Coyote is a tech billionaire. He can't be chasing the roadrunner for actual meal because ain't no meat on his bones. I think he's a tech billionaire because he's warning us that these machines are going to kill us.

And we don't listen to them. Sam, according to some doctors and dermatologists, who are also doctors in the shower, in the shower after you wash yourself, you should then do what? You should, after you wash yourself, yes. You should, um, throw away the lufa. No, in fact, you should not throw it away because they want you to, they want you to, get a clue. Yeah.

Clue. Yeah. They want you to get a clue. This, this, this, this study might be, have been funded by big body wash because they want you to do what after you've washed yourself? Wash yourself a second time. You do. You got it.

Well, you got there eventually. We are now told that we need to wash ourselves in the shower completely twice in order to thoroughly clean and nourish your skin. Experts now recommend double cleansing. Think of your body, if you will, like a dirty Tupperware. You can scrub and rinse once, but the essence of Maranara remain. I think this is good. I've been to middle school.

They need to do it twice. Yeah, exactly. All right, all right. I'll allow a middle school caveat. Yeah, they did to do it twice because when I was there, I don't think they were really doing it once. If you want to know, the idea is that while the first cleanse removed sweat, sunscreen, and odor, the second quote,

restores moisture, supports the skin barrier, or delivers an active ingredient. Wait, what's the active ingredient it develops? You said it... If there is an active ingredient in the soap. Oh, is it... Yeah, exactly. Well, if that's in the soap, we're going to have to wash ourselves three times.

Exactly. Just imagining the bottle now with more b***. Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the Blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-3-8-8-8-8-8-2-4. You can see us most weeks right here at the Sudda Baker Theater in downtown Chicago in the Fine Arts Building. And catch us on the road. We'll be in Omaha, Nebraska. week and in Kalamazoo, Michigan on October 22nd.

For tickets and information to all our live events, go to NPR Presents.org. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't tell me. Hi, Peter. This is Mary calling from Rio Rancho, New Mexico. Oh, wow. I love hearing about New Mexico because it's one of the two states in these United States I've never been to, but I assume everyone in New Mexico is always outside wearing lots of turquoise.

Yes, there is a lot of turquoise, and when it's not 99 degrees, and super hot out. We are outside quite a bit. It is at about 6,000 feet where I'm at, so we have pretty cold winters and hot summers, but there are road runners, coyotes, rattlesnakes, lots of wildlife.

Are they in love? I haven't seen them together, but I'm waiting for that Acme truck to pull up and see what happened. Well, Mary, Welcome to the show. Alzo Slade is going to read for you three Limericks with the last word or phrase

missing. Your job, of course, try to figure out what that last word or phrase might be. Do that two times out of three. You will be a winner. Ready to go? I'm ready. Here's your first limerick. Our park's concert is not a loud riot. It's more zen and it's free.

You should try it. When you've listened to Moss, you have no hearing loss. Our huge concert is hours of... Quiet? Quiet. Yes.

The Festival of Nature listening is starting in Finland next month. And that's where you can go and stand in a field and hear the sweet sounds of wind and maybe if you pay for the VIP seats, birds. They're calling it Quietella.

Which is nice. But it sounds like which you'd say to a drunk person who needs to go to sleep after Coichella. Like, it's time for quiet cellar cellar. So it's the one concert where instead of someone yelling out, Freebird, they're like, three birds. Yes, exactly.

And then somebody's yelling, shut up. Yeah, nothing says concert like being shushed here. Here is your next limerick. In Maydock, as we run past some cloisters, our snacks leave us clammy and moister. The way we refuel is borderline, cruel. The pit stop served red wine and oysters?

Yes, oysters. Like every marathon, the Marathon de Chateau de Meadowc in France has hydration stations every mile or so, but theirs, instead of Gatorade, features nearly 20 different local wines. So you're sloppy, your drink, you're like, oh, great tannins and oaky finish and, oh, notes of electrolytes. Along the way, in addition to the wine,

runners can grab pastries, And at mile 24, they're waiting for all the runners to come by, a table of raw oysters. This is the perfect race for people who are worried that after a normal marathon, they might not throw up. This is marathon is well-known, these marathons in France that have wine at the eight stations. And I've always wanted to do it. I was doing it at this point in my life, is slowly running through France, getting drunk. You can just go to France and do that. That's true.

All right, very good. Here is your last limerick. The loud buzz fills some folks with unease, and the pollen cloud might make them sneeze. This farmhouse day spa has a hive as its draw. I'm relaxing on thousands of... Bees. Yes, bees.

Bees, yes. The bee bed is a new state-of-the-art therapy tool where the patient lies down on a bed that has inside it as many as 600,000 bees. The idea is that the buzzing of all those bees is therapeutic and relaxing. You know, like that relaxing sleep you get right after you realize there's one fly in your room.

Can we just lay down and listen to Beyonce? Feels like a better deal. I don't understand. Why is this supposed to be? therapeutic. Because the true story is the guy who invented this was going through a hard time himself and he was out in the garden and he was listening to the bees and he realized he listened to the and he just made him feel better. So what makes him feel better is to capture a bunch of bees from their home and lay on this. Yeah. Well it's the it's the hum from the bees. Yeah, because

we humans famously haven't figured out a way to replicate sound. Well, we do it in the country with a box fan and it's much people. How did Mary do in our quiz? Mary is a winner. Three out of three. Congratulations. Thank you so much, Mary, for playing and well done. Thank you.

This has been so much fun. It was fun to have you. Thanks again. Now on to our final game, Lightning, fill in the blank. Each of our players left 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Alzo, can you give us the scores? Of course. Sam has three.

Shantira has three. And Adam has three. Right. Well, it's a tie. So whoever does best will win the game. I'm going to arbitrarily pick Shantir to go first. Here we go. The clock will start when they begin your first question, fill in the blank. On Tuesday, Representative Thomas Massey called for a vote to impeach Secretary of Defense, blank. I don't know right now. James Madison. It's a little late. Pete Hagsath. For the first time in three years. years, the Federal Reserve voted to raise blanks. Interest rates.

Right. On Wednesday, Blanks said she had not decided whether to run for president again in 2008. Kamala? Right. This city of Minneapolis voted to allow driverless cars in their city, but on the condition that they have a blank. Driver. Right. On Tuesday, NASA powered up their new blank for the first time. A rover? No space telescope. On Tuesday, health officials warned that blanks carrying dengue fever

had reached parts of Florida. Mosquitoes? Right. This week, a zoo in the the UK apologized after their website listed a children's tour of the zoo's dangerous animals as blank. Safe. No, as quote, a child predator tour.

Technically correct. All right. So they received a lot of complaints and the zoo apologized. They explained there was an issue with their automated ticketing system which adds the word child to any ticket purchase for kids 12 and under.

and they quickly fixed the name of their very popular predator tour, but they really need to be in that lookout for that one guy who demanded a refund. Alzo, how did Shantir do in our quiz? She got four right for eight more points, total of 11 and the lead. All right. It's good to be winning for now. Sam, are you ready to do this? I am ready. Here we go, Sam. You're up next, fell in the blank. According to new data, Arctic glaciers have lost 12 trillion tons of blank in the past 50 years.

Ice caps. Yes, ice. Amid tensions with the U.S., the EU suggested that blank could become the bloc's first so-called associate member. Duolipa. Where am I go for that? It's Canada. This week, a teacher from Slovakia, leading a high school tour in France, dealt with a group of noisy students by blanking. Putting them on a leash. No, by leaving them in France and going back to Slovakia. Citing the state's opposition to their merger with Warner Brothers, Blank threatened to leave California for Tennessee. Paramount. Yes, in a pre-recorded video, beloved musician Blank posthumously accepted, a lifetime achievement award from the Americana Music Association.

Dolly Parton? Right. This week, a man in Germany was busted after he made $50,000 by blanking. Moning. No, by Rehn. cycling a single bottle 177,451 times. Wow. Wow.

He used a bit of ingenious engineering and a lot of free time, and a German man found a way to deposit one single bottle into a deposit acceptance machine almost 200,000 times, getting him around $50,000. Even the judge was impressed, noting that the man must have quote, done nothing else every day other than

attend to this machine. I guess the compliment takes the edge off a conviction. because the judge is like, well, man, mad props. Also, how did Sam do on our quiz? She got three right for six more points. Total of nine. Centira's still in the lead.

Okay. How many then does Adam need to win? Four to tie, five to win. All right, here we go, Adam. This is for the game. After he removed McElmore from his tour for speaking in support of Palestine, Blank, also dropped out of Ed Sheeran's tour.

Several other supporting this. Yes. every other band in the tour, including his own backup band. On Tuesday, the House again voted to limit Blank's war powers in Iran. The president? Yeah, Donald Trump. Donald Trumps. This week,

Pennsylvania asked the CDC for help containing their blank outbreak. Measles? Right, according to a new study, 80% of people in China use blank at least once a week. AI? Yes. This week, Frito Lay came forward and stated that the singular of Doritos is blank.

Doritos? Yes. As in, I'm not too hungry. I'm just going to eat one Doritos. On Thursday, a NASA spacecraft discovered a new crater on the blank. The moon! Right. On Monday, Matthew Reeves made history by winning two blank awards for best actor in one night. Emmy. Right. This week, convicted criminals in Berlin were able to remain free for a little longer because the government had forgotten to blank.

To, I've forgotten to, like, repaint their cells? No, they had forgotten to buy more of the little yellow envelopes they use to send out summonses. For weeks, Berlin's judicial system has been short on yellow envelope, so it wasn't able to send up the notices that tell convicted felons when to report to prison.

This is a very German story. Alzo, did Adam do well enough to win? Yes, he did. He got seven right for 14 more points. Total of 17. And he is the winner. Coming up, our panelists predict what are restaurants going to do

to bring people back? to brunch. But first, let me tell you that. Wait, wait, don't tell me. He's a production of NPR and WB EZ Chicago in association with the urgent hair car productions. Doug Berman, benevolent Overlord. Philip Godeker writes our Limericks. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Our ops manager is Jazeera Fardack. Thanks to the staff and crew at the studio baker theater in the beautiful fine arts building, BJ Leaderman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles, Dornboss, and Lillian King. Special thanks this week to Mohanette L. Jani Hoffman and Dom Bannis. Peter Gwyn is our Peter

curator, Emma Choi, is our vibe curator. Technical direction is from Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller, our production manager. That's Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chilog and the executive producer of Wait Wait Don't Tell Me is Mike Danforth. Now panel, what will restaurants do to get people back? Shantira Jackson. Take protein out of everything back to empty calories. Sam Rocha. Instead of bottomless mimosas, you just have one mimosas, you really have to make count. and Adam Burke. They will allow you to interrupt bad dates.

And if any of that happens, panel, we'll ask you about it on. Wait, wait, don't tell me. Thank you so much, Alzo Slade. Thanks for us to the ship here, Jackson, Adam Burke, Sam Rocha, thanks to our fabulous audience. It's here at the Studio Baker Theater. Thanks to all of you for listening wherever you may be. A Peter Sengel, we'll see you next week in Omaha, Nebraska.

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