Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - A tick-filled odyssey

Episode Date: July 25, 2026

This week, Abbott Elementary's Tyler James Williams joins panelists Josh Gondelman, Hari Kondabolu, and Faith SalieSee pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for sponsorship and to manage your podcast sponsorship preferences.NPR Privacy Policy

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. The air quality may be bad, but the Alzo quality is off the charts. I'm Alzo Slade, and here's your host at the Student Breaker Theater at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sago. Thank you, Alzo. Thank you, everybody. Great to see you. We have a fine show for you today. Later on, Tyler James Williams of Abbott Elementary. We will be us. But first, I've got to say, I'm so glad to be back with you after a week off. I don't want to say too much about where I was. Let me just say, it started with a bag of lettuce and it ended with adventure. You never know what'll happen if you call us and play our game. The number is

1-3-8-8-8-8-2-4. Now, let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, wait, wait, wait, don't tell me. Hi, this is David from Lakewood, Colorado by way of Acton, Massachusetts. By way of Acton. I know Acton more than I know Lakewood. What do you do out there? By day, a product manager in a financial space, but otherwise in the typical Colorado and hiking, skiing, biking, all the outdoor things. You know, every time someone says to me, by day I do this, I'm always hoping for by night, I fight crime. I couldn't reveal my secrets.

Hasn't happen yet. Maybe someday. Well, David, it's great to have you. Let me introduce you to our panel. First up, he's the co-host of the podcast. stuff that you can find where you get your podcast. It's Hariccundabolu. Hey, David. Next, it's the comedian who hosts the podcast The Nightly and will be on tour all fall starting September 19th. At the Comedy Studio in Harvard Square, it's Josh Gondelman. Hello. So nice to be here with you by day,

or by night. And she's the co-host of the new podcast series. You Could Make This Beautiful from WBUR. It's Faith Saly. Hey, David. So, David, welcome to the show. Of course, you're going to play Who's Alzo this time. Alzo Slade Standing right next to me is going to read you three quotations from this week's news. If you can correctly identify, I explain just two of them. You will win our prize.

Any voice from our show that you might choose for your voicemail. Are you ready to play? Let's do it. All right. Your first quote is about the big movie of this summer. It's the rare case where the movie is better than the poem. That was Ashley Parker in the evening. That was Ashley Parker in the evening.

Atlantic talking about what big summer blockbuster? It has to be the Odyssey. It is the Odyssey, yes. Christopher Nolan's adaptation of the ancient poem is a huge hit. It makes us real excited about next summer's Ten Pohl movie. Quentin Tarantino's

The Man from Nantucket. So most people love the movie, but a lot of the talk about it is what format you should see it in. There's so much to choose from. There's Dolby Vision. There's 36 millimeter, 70 millimeter, IMAX, and IMAX 70 millimeter, which is the true connoisseurs choice, we are told. But that is only available at 25 theaters in the whole country.

So, and this is true, people, hundreds of them, are driving for hours to see this movie or even flying across the country. And then, tragically, taking a full 20 years to journey home. So you mentioned the format and what you're supposed to see it. Yes. The actual premiere was across the street from my apartment. Really? And my son was walking back from Target, and it calls me on his Apple Watch.

He says, Mom, oh my gosh, Zendaya, and I'm seeing Matt Damon right across the street. This is so exciting for me. And what I wanted to tell him, but I didn't was I made out with Matt Damon twice in college, and that was exciting for me. Wow. What? Wait, is this true? This is true.

That was a long. walk, but you got there. Speaking, speaking of Odyssey, yeah. How did your son... It was worth it. I know, I know. How did your son like those apples? Wait, how did this happen? Well, when a man loves a

It was a special hug. We'll save that for a podcast extra, wait, wait, after dark. Anyway, but I want everybody know, if people don't know what format to see it in, it's really confusing. This is not a thing we are used to thinking about just be assured whatever format you choose you will enjoy having the movie ruined by the people that brought a three-year-old to a 9 p.m. showtime. I don't know.

I should be a better cinephile because I hear 70 millimeters. And I'm like, that's seven centimeters. That's not that big. They're saying that's the biggest, but that's not very big to me. That's like an iPhone. That doesn't mean like a big deal, seven centimeters across. I'll just watch it that way like I usually do. Is it weird to go to that movie alone?

Because I don't have anyone to go with. Aw. Well, I can't bring my five-year-old, and he's my main company at this point. Harry, I'll go with you, and I won't mention anything else. Made out with that guy. Didn't have a beard back then. All right, your next quote is about a summer pest that is just taking over the countryside. Hurtful.

Oh, Joshua, when I'm talking about you, I'll let you know. There's a clear winner in the war between humans and them, and it's not us. That was an epidemiologist talking about the blood-sucking and disease-carrying bug. We should be checking each other for this summer. What is it? Probably ticks? Yes, ticks. Let's applaud the ticks.

They could do some encouragement. It's a hard life. Tick populations are exploding in just about every state this summer, emergency room visits for tick bites, all-time high. This is all according to the CDC, which, of course, is now headed by a tick. The New Yorker did a celebrity profile to one variety of tick, the lone star tick.

This one doesn't wait for you to walk by in the grass. It will, quote, pursue you. And it can crawl up your leg in seconds, even if you are currently sitting in the audience at the Studebaker Theater. Look under your seats. Yes, we've got one for all of you. You get a tick and you get a tick.

I see people looking at their ankles right now. That's true. A tick that comes at you is terrifying. And this is also bad. It just got your home address from an Equifax data leak. And the thing that's so awful and insidious about ticks is that you don't, they don't let you know they're there, right? They don't, it's not painful when they bite you.

It doesn't itch. It makes you long, mosquitoes. As opposed to, yeah, as opposed to the other kinds of biting insects were like Jerry Lewis, like, hello! There are no ticks in New York City, right? Oh, their toughest ticks are in New York City. I'm crawling here, I'm crawling here. They ride around on the rats.

Exactly, yeah. This is something else surprising about the Lone Star ticks, quote, they can even push through your socks. Oh, God. And you just bought REI's new fishnet hiking socks. And those lone star ticks, they're open carry. Yeah. Have you heard about this?

The ticks carry a disease called Alpha Gal. That is what it is called. And what it is, is it gives you a fatal allergy to red meat. Alpha Gal sounds kind of like what a well-meaning grandmother would use as a euphemism for lesbian. Really? We were thinking it was more like a direct-to-streaming knockoff of Supergirl. That's right. Here, David, is your last quote.

Your colleagues don't necessarily want to see your hairy legs. That was style editor Samuel Hine, talking about the growing trend of men wearing what to the office? I hope it isn't shorts. It is shorts, David. It is. NBC News reports that thanks to rising temperatures everywhere, U.S. offices are loosening their dress codes to allow men to wear shorts. Now, the first draft of the rule was, you don't have to wear pants to come. into work, but after the first day they had to clarify, you do have to wear something.

Now, this is also happening in Japan where it's a big deal, because in Japan, if you've ever been there, there's a lot of formality in the office, especially in government offices, and there's a regulation banning shorts in government offices, but it was just suspended for the first time, and men are coming into work wearing shorts. And employees, though, other employees are not happy about it. They call it, this is true, leg hair harassment. And I got this from my training. If you see leg hair harassment, you intervene with a helpful word and a razor.

I don't know that that's better. Of just like, we just need everybody in here with extremely smooth legs. And I will touch to see if there's stumbled. Also, how did David do in our quiz? David did great. He got three out of three. Congratulations. Well done, David. All right now, panel, it's time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Josh, one of the most popular and commented on recipes on the New York Times cooking app this week

was one ingredient banana ice cream. What is that ingredient? If you even ask me for a hint, you lose a thousand points. I'm going to say. And this, it's going to feel so bad if this isn't the right answer. Is it banana? Yes. I thought you were going to say ice cream.

The Times Cooking app featured a recipe for banana ice cream that is literally freeze a banana, put it in a blender, done. The recipe has almost 5,000 ratings. And of course, if you know the New York Times cooking app, half the comments are like zero stars inedible. Also, I didn't have banana. so I used canola oil instead. Actually, the top comment on this recipe, this is real, I broke my parents' blender

and now they're mad at me? This isn't a recipe. That would be like, oh, there's a recipe for the best peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Yeah, pretty much, basically. I'm still trying to get my head around the concept. Harry, it's one ingredient.

No, no, no, no. Give Harry a break. Some of us don't cook. So, Harry, let me... So it's a banana. It's a banana. You put it in a blender. No, first you're freezing. Freeze it first. I've already gotten it wrong.

Keep up. Coming up, our panel is nerd out with their books out and our bluff the listener game call. 1-3-8, wait-wait-wait-wait-to-play. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait-Wa-W-W-Tel me from NPR. Hey, it's Peter Sagle. A quick message before we get back to our show. We are almost at the end of July, which was a big moment. month for NPR a year ago, when Congress voted to eliminate all federal funding for all public

media. That funding, more than a billion dollars, is gone. But wait, wait, is still here. We're poking fun of the news and hopefully bringing some levity to your week, which I understand often needs it. Financial support from you, the public, makes our work and the work of the NPR network possible. If you are already, an NPR Plus supporter, thank you so much. If not, you can join the community of people who power public media at plus.npr.org. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Alzo Slade. We're playing this week with Josh Gondelman, Faisali, and Hari Kondobolu.

And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sago. Thank you, Alzo. Thanks, everybody. Thank you all so much. We'll have fun. Right now it's time for the wait, wait, wait, don't tell me. Bluff the listener game. Call 1-3-8 wait-wait-wait to play our game in the air.

Hi, you're on Wait-Wight, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Lisa from Brooklyn. Hey, Brooklyn. How are you, Brooklyn? I'm good. I'm glad. I'm excited to be here. I'm excited to have you.

What do you do there in Brooklyn? I am a lawyer for kids at the Legal Aid Society. Yay. It's the right crowd. It's the right crowd. Yeah, it's the right crowd for that. Well, good for you. Lisa, welcome to the show.

You're going to play our game in which you have to tell truth from fiction. What is Lisa's topic, Alzo? It's a hot book summer. Reading is sexy again. The big hit movie is based on a classic and reading glasses. They're all over the place. They're great because you can take them off slowly when you're trying to seduce someone. Well, this week we heard about an exciting advancement in the world of books.

Our panelists are going to tell you about it. Pick the real one and get the wait-waiter of your choice on your voicemail. Are you ready to play? Sure. First, let's hear from Faith Saly. Feeling insecure, want to drop impressive literary references on sales calls, and when you meet your in-laws, the bookworm buddy is for you. Bookworm Buddy is an app connected to an earpiece you shove inside your earhole that pairs you in real time

with adjunct English professors who really need the work. They listen in on your conversations and offer you witty bon mo's. you can slip into dialogue to make people think you're brilliant, or at least that you actually read the novels you were assigned in 11th grade. If you're a guy on a first date, your bookworm buddy might tell you to casually drop this Jane Austen banger. I'm almost done paying off my grad school loans, and it is a truth universally acknowledged

that a single man in possession of good fortune must be in want of a wife. You better believe your date will respond with, check, please. Introducing yourself at a job interview, your Cyrano de adjunct might advise you to say, I'm a team player, and you can call me Ishmael. The bookworm buddy and apt that connects you to an under-employed academic to give you literary references on the fly. Your next story of teaching some old books, new tricks,

comes from Harikandabolu. As we all know, nowadays, books are mainly used as door stops or to serve as backgrounds for Zoom calls. However, they also serve another important purpose, making other people think you are smart because you read. Luckily, the fine folks at Cabinet magazine have created a service that allows you to continue being a charlatan by wearing out your books and making them look red. For just five euros, you can get an essential handling package, including a professional spine break for your book, two scholastic dog ears, four underlying passages, and one contextually appropriate piece of marginalia. It'll totally look like you know how to read.

The Premier package added mauling the edges of the book with a drill and sandpaper, as well as, quote, one stain using cheap wine, coffee, etc. This service, along with reading summaries of books online, will make you look like the educated person your degree claims you are. A service that will take your unread books and make them look well loved. Your last lit bit comes from Josh Gondleman. With the massive sales of Romantasy novels the past few years, publishers saw only one problem. Unless we start counting Jack Reacher movies as books, men don't read.

And that's how Bromanty was born. It's a combination of fantasy and bromance, a term popularized in the aughts after men decided friendship was for girls. Now, tales of men platonically befriending mythical creatures are climbing the bestseller list like a fairy tale prince scrambling up Rapunzel's ponytail. An ad-exact learns to relish the little things in life while writing piggyback style through Manhattan on his best buddy with the head of a bull in the smash-hit novel New York Minot Tour.

A charismatic Yeti brings a neighborhood together. with his exciting block parties in Neighborhood Squatch. And Paul Giamatti is already set to star as the titular Clay Monster Come to Life who reunites a group of childhood acquaintances from the lone star state at his weekly poker night in the film adaptation of No Limit Texas Golem. So we've got three stories from the literary world for you.

Which of these is a new development in the written word? Is it from Faith Saly, a service in which under-employed academics will feed you literary references for use in daily conversation to make you seem smart? From Hari Kandabolo, a service that will take your brand new, never-read books and make them look as if you read them by aging them, or from Josh Gondaman, the breakout new genre, bromantasy, in which men have perfectly platonic but friendly relationships with fantasy creatures. Which of these is the real story we found in the literary world this week? It's a job to wear out books for people. I want that job. So I'm going to go with Hari.

Or you're going to choose Hari's story about the service that wears out your books. Well, to bring you the correct answer, we spoke to an expert. The technical handlers would bend back its pages, dog ear them, spill a little wine on the pages. That was Jeff Dolvan. He is a professor of English at Princeton. And he was an official book handling agent, making a job. books look well loved for a fee. You got it right, Lisa. Congratulations. He's kind of the Matt Damon of Princeton. I don't know. Wait a minute. Hang on a second, Faith.

That's a good question. What are the odds? This is nuts. Back to you, Lisa. Congratulations, Lisa. You got it right. Hari was telling the real story. You have won our prize. It's winners all around. Bye-bye. And now the game we call Not My Job.

All the actors on the hit sitcom Abbott Elementary have to work with child actors, of course, but nobody is better at that than star Tyler James Williams because he was won. He made his acting debut at the age of four. He became a star at 13, playing the title character and everybody hates Chris. He has just received his fourth Emmy nomination

for his role as a grown-up in Abbott Elementary, and he joins us now. Tyler James Williams, welcome to Waycoe. Thank you. Thank you for joining us. If I'm not mistaken, you made your debut as a performer on Sesame Street at the age of four. Is that right?

Yes, that is absolutely correct. And do you even remember that? And if you do, what do you remember? Of course. Everybody remembers the first day of work. I remember seeing behind the curtain for the first time, seeing Elmo and Big Bird and the actual people who were playing them and really getting dropped in.

I was a very serious child. You have to understand this for context. So I was like, ah, my peers were all about to do our thing. I see you preparing yourself, Carol. So all these other kids saw Big Bird is a giant, wonderful bird, and you're like, that's my carol. colleague. Yes, we both have our sagtards.

We're the same. Were you, you started at four, you became a star. Chris Rock picked you to play basically himself as a teenager, a young teen, in his show. Everybody hates Chris. So you've been a working actor all through childhood. I'm sure that was very normal childhood, right?

Just like everybody else's. Exactly like everybody else is. Nothing unique about it. Nothing unique about it. I mean, I asked this, I'm leaping ahead a little bit because you're playing a teacher in a school. Did you ever actually go to a school in a regular basis? Or were you working too much? So I went to school from pre-kindergarten to sixth grade in like an actual brick-and-mortar school. Yeah. And then I started working so much

that it became a thing where I needed now studio teachers. And once everybody hates press started, that was it. So I never stepped foot in an actual high school, didn't go to prom, didn't do any of those things. Don't feel like I missed it. I went to the Emmys and the blows. Flicks. Just with older people. Flicks. Yeah. So like, peers are like, oh, it's going to be great. Our theme this year is into the future. And you're like, yeah, my theme is global fame, okay?

Let me talk briefly about everybody hates Chris. This, of course, was the show that Chris Rock created about his own childhood growing up in Brooklyn. Am I right? At first, he didn't want to cast you because he thought you were too good-looking? Yeah, that's what I heard. It's kind of crazy. Yeah, apparently that was like a real note that was coming

that when it came down to like the last, I think it was me and maybe two other people. That was a real concern there. But I guess it came down from the top that it was like, yeah, but this is TV. Yeah. Why didn't everybody better in TV? What a great reason to not get a job, if that's how it happens.

Yeah, that's the thing that you usually hear from the people who didn't get it. Yeah, they thought I was too good-looking. Yeah. But do you remember where you, because that was a huge role, obviously life-changing. Do you remember where you were when you got the news? I was on the plane flying back home because I thought I didn't get it because I was too good-looking. So they didn't tell me. If you go back, if they, like, I was from New York.

So they flew me to L.A. to do a screen test. And they tell you if you fly back home, that's it. So I'm on the plane with my mom. And this is also like not too far out from like 9-11. So they have like really strict rules. And my mom gets a phone call from a manager. And they're like trying to get her to take, like turn the phone off. And she's like, I kind of need to just really, if you could just give me five minutes, that would be great.

And they, my manager called them to say, get off the plane. They want you to stay. Now, again, this is a post-9-11 world. So we tried to get off the plane, and that went very badly. What does this family know about the plane? So I started flying back to New York, and then they brought me back. Really? So you're like, no, you have to turn the plane around. My son here was just cast as Chris Rock.

Yes. In a new sitcom about Chris Rock's childhood, and they're like, yes, ma'am, sit down in that seat, or we will have you arrested. We've heard crazier stories. Yeah. There is a marshal on the plane. I just imagine the anxiety of you not getting the gig because you're too good looking and you're on the plane like thinking,

which one of these ugly fools got my job? And I just, I want to say for the record, we're all on this show doing radio because we are too good looking for TV. 100% of good. I can see you. Thank you. It would be too much.

Thank you. It would simply be too much. So let's move on to Abbott Elementary, the hit show. You just were nominated for the fourth time, and it's a show that looks upon its characters who are elementary school teachers for the most part as heroes. I imagine the show must be very popular with actual elementary school teachers. And do you get, do people come up to you on the street

and thank you for that? If there's a teacher within 100 yards of me, I'm going to know. I'm going to know. I'm going to know. They're either going to tell me or I'll see it in their eyes. Right. There's a weird now, like, teacher thing that we have. But I love it.

It's one of the greatest joys of my career. Well, Tyler James Williams, it's a joy to talk to you. We've asked you here to play a game we're calling Everybody loves these chrises. So you starred and everybody hates Chris. About Chris Rock, okay, but what about the chrises that everybody loves? The Hollywood chrises? Chris Hemsworth, Chris Evans, and Chris Pratt.

We're going to ask you three questions about those A-list actors, all named Chris. Get two right. You'll win a prize for one of our listeners. Alzo, who is Tyler playing for? Diana Carlson of Sacramento, California. All right. All right, Diana. You ready to do this?

Do it. Yeah. Okay, here we go. In 2007, Chris Pratt, who'd go on to star in Guardians of the Galaxy, lost out the lead role in the film The Lookout. He was shocked that someone else got the part. Why? A, because the character's name was Chris Pratt. Pratt. B, it was

written and directed by his own mother or C, he put up all the money for the production as a vehicle for himself. God, I wanted to be C so bad. That would be my favorite Hollywood story. I'm going to go with

A. You're going to go with A. You're right. In the movie The Lookout, Chris Pratt lost the role of Chris Pratt to Joseph Gordon Leavitt. All right, here's your next question. Chris Evans went on huge success.

Captain America, knives out, great guy, but in 1999, he played what may be, according to some, his greatest role. What was it? A, the ball peen hammer in tool story. B. Odysseus, the only human character in The Muppet Odyssey. Or C. The character Tyler in the board game, Mystery Date. I'm not really up on my deep Chris Evans' war.

Sure. I would have prepared more had I known. I'm going to go with C. You're going to go with C. The character Tyler in the board game, Mystery Date, you're right again. For those you don't know, Mystery Date, it's a classic game,

goes back 60 years, and you try to end up dating somebody great and not the quote, nerd. And in the mid-90s edition, Chris was the model for Date Tyler who surfs. There you go. All right, get this right. You get it perfect.

Here we go. Last one. Chris Hemsworth almost lost out on his breakout role of Thor in the Marvel movies because Marvel executives worried that fans would turn on him because of something from his past. What was it? A, a viral video in which he hits his thumb with a hammer and cries. B, he was a contestant on Dancing with the Stars Australia and really, really sucked. Or C, he had written an essay for the New York Review of Books talking about how stupid comic books are.

Yeah, that would scare the shit out of the Marvel. Yeah, let's let it ride. You're going to go to see, yes. Chris Hamsworth, Australian Hunk, wrote an essay for the New York Review of Books on me. No, it was, he was on dancing with the stars. He had been, before being found by Marvel, a celebrity on TV in Australia. He was on dancing with the stars. And apparently it was so terrible, says the Marvel executive,

that all the women in his office were watching the video and laughing, and they were figuring that nobody would take him seriously as Thor. But he got the part anyway. Also, how did Tyler do in our quiz? Two out of three is a passing grade to me. Congratulations. Well done. Tyler James Williams is.

up for an Emmy again for his role in Abbott Elementary. May you have as much luck there as you did here. You can stream all five seasons of Abbott Elementary right now. It is fabulous and heartwarming and very, very funny. Tyler, thank you so much for joining us on our show. Thank you, guys. In just a minute, Alzo tells you about the world's grossest dessert in our listener to Lymic Challenge call 1-2-8 Wait-Wait-Wait to join us in the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, from NPR. From NPR and WVEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Alzo Slade.

We're playing this week with Josh Gondelman, Hari Kondobolu, and Faith Saly. And here again is your host at the Studio Baker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sago. Thank you, Alzo. In just a minute, we check each other for limer ticks to prevent rhymes disease. Oh, we lost him. I'm sorry, you knew what you were in for when you bought a tick. ticker. No whining now. Anyway, after our listener at Limerick Challenge coming up, if you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-3-8-8-8-8-8-2-4. That's 1-88-9-24. Right now, panel, time for more questions for you

from the week's news. Faith, this week we learned about a new trend in weddings. Couples are letting guests get more involved in the big day by doing what. Oh, is this bedding? Yes, betting on the weddings. The New York Times, again, reports, the New York Times reports that many couples are making prop bets. Part of their weddings, guests can bet on things like the length of the first kiss, who will cry, will making a toast, what the first dance will be,

but they are not allowed to make the obvious bet. How long will this marriage laugh? That's right. This totally changes like the role of the best man. He's going to be leaning in during the first kiss, like we're at 2.8 seconds. Just hold on. Yeah, I wouldn't, I think if that had been around when I got married,

I wouldn't have even needed a registry. I would have just taken a cut off the insider trading. I'd mean, like, what song do you think is going to be the first dance? For a price, it could be. The couples who do this say, it's a great way to keep the guests involved throughout, and also it's the only way I could get my dad to come. God, can you gamble on everything now?

Isn't that what Kalshi is? Is Kalshi a thing? That's a thing, right? Yeah. You can basically bet on anything. Hey, he brought up Calcia. I went five bucks, I'll sell something. I owe you five because I thought he was going to say polymarkets.

Faith, we know sleep is very important, of course. So if you want absolutely the best night's sleep for just $57,000, you can get the world's greatest what? Mattress? No, not a mattress. Come on. Oh, that sounds like it's bigger. No, it's actually smaller than a mattress.

Smaller than a mattress. A pillow? Yes. Pillow. For just $57,000. What? The tailor-made pillow company offers a custom-made pillow with, quote, cooling tersel cover and, quote, high-tech tailoring and a, quote, 24-carat real gold cover. Which makes perfect sense to me.

Whenever I see a gold bar, I say, wow, that looks so soft. What is Tersel? Tersel, I have no idea, but it is expensive. Yes, it is. That was my first car. Makes me sleepy. Yeah, for $57,000, they better run over my head with a Toyota Terselle. But remember, the rule of thumb is you don't spend more than a third of your annual income on your phone.

Yeah, that would be tough for me to be like, ah, you know, I can't do this destination wedding. My net worth is tied up in pillow. Hurry, the BBC is renowned for their nature documentaries. They recently came up with an amazing way to get a camera really close to a wild animal without scaring it away. They just hide the remote-controlled camera. Where?

Inside them. The animal? Inside the animal. All right, I have a number of questions. Good answer. Survey says? I'm just imagining the footage on the documentary, and David Attenberg is saying,

well, it's very dark in here. Very, very dark. No, that's not it. Can I get a hand? You can. It looks great. They have the look down. I don't know if they've gotten the smell down.

Poop. Yes, poop. What? No way. What? The camera inside an artificial pile of dung. Oh, God, a poor PA has to do that. That would work so well for house keys.

It's true, too, yeah. You're right. You're right. If it's artificial. That's right. It's called, of course, the dung cam. It's basically a giant fake. poop, like you find in a joke shop, right? Except it's got an HD camera inside, and it can move.

It's motorized. The only thing is scarier than a tick chasing after you. Exactly. It's like a scat attack. Well, that's the thing. I mean, like, it says something weird about, like, the animal's, like, level of intelligence. Like, you know, the animals are like, what's that? Oh, just a giant pile of dung rolling straight towards me.

No, biggie. These beetles are getting strong. It's a bowel movement. Exactly. Coming up, it's lightning fill in the blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-8-8-8-8-8-8-2-8-2. That's 1-8-8-24.

You can see us most weeks right here at the Studio Baker Theater in downtown Chicago. You can also catch us on the road. We'll be in Hoover Heights, Ohio, just outside of Dayton on September 3rd. If you want a little extra, you know, sidepiece, entertainment-wise, our comedy grab-back stand-up show is back. It's Wednesday, September 9th at the Den Theater here in Chicago, hosted by none other than Aalzo Slade, with comedy from our panelists, special guests,

and even, well, me. For tickets and information to all our live events, go to NPRP Presents.org. Hi, and wait, wait, don't tell me. Hi, this is Ashley calling in from Alexandria, Virginia. Alexandria, Virginia, in the greater Washington area. What do you do there? I'm an educator, and I lead teacher professional development.

Really? I've got to ask, you're an educator or teacher. Do you watch Abbott Elementary? Oh, absolutely. Love it. Is it a realistic depiction of what life is like as a teacher? Say so. Okay, yeah, yeah. Well, Ashley, welcome to the show.

Alzo Slade is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly, and two of the limericks, you will be a winner. Ready to go? Absolutely. Here is your first limerick. Big gourds with cold juices are swelling.

So it's heat relief markets. are selling. Though a sweet, juicy slice would really taste nice. I cool down by just hugging a melon or watermelon? A melon, yes, absolutely. This week's hot online trend. Showing up in your feeds. Pictures of overheated babies in China cooling down by hugging giant melons. Winter melons. They're kind of gourd native to Southeast Asia that is apparently great for absorbing body heat. And by happy coincidence, they tend to grow to be one baby. long. This has like a real,

like, I don't know what the global economy is doing, but this is like a depression era. I remember when I was a boy and we had no money, we didn't have any of this air condition. We had to hug melons and we liked it. You leave a melon at the bottom of the river till summer begins.

You dig it up, you hug it. All right, here is your next limerick. While we still hear some high whiny tones. We're creating mosquito free zones. The small bugs discover, we track, chase, and hover. We hunt them with really small... Ooh.

Phones, like telephone? No, no. They hover. We heard that word. We track chase and hover. Yeah. We hunt them with really small... Really small.

Hmm. How about have I just give me? it's drones. Oh, drones. A French startup is now taking pre-orders for the microdrone. They're tiny autonomous flying machines

which use sonar to detect mosquitoes, chase them down, and then kill them by chopping them up with their propellers. And even if it doesn't work, it's going to be way more exciting to watch than a citronella candle. Now, it's not ready for market. They're putting out

like a proof of concept video. It has one of their drones successfully killing a moth in mid-air. And really, what's a moth, but a bigger, slower mosquito that was just minding its own business and never heard of it. Yeah, if you really want to get into butterfly murder, it sounds like the technology is there. I don't hate mosquitoes that much that this technology should exist. Really? Yeah. You don't hate mosquitoes?

They're the most deadly animal. I do hate mosquitoes. Right. More than hippopotamuses? Yes. Wow. They kill more people than any other animal. I'll tell you what, it's not a fair fight if we involve drones.

We can't be bringing the military industrial complex when we had fly swatters already. All right, here is your last limerick. This picnic guests rarely enchance. A dessert they could hardly enhance. This chef adds a bunch for a tiny black crunch. Now he's jailed because we shouldn't eat. ants. Ants. That's right. A Michelin-Start restaurant

in South Korea. It's facing heavy fines after garnishing a sorbet with black ants. Intentionally. This is how you remember. Michelin is a tire company. If you want

to try Antsorbet without having to travel to the South Korea, just drop your ice cream cone on the sidewalk and wait. Then that's just a honey. pot because you bring in those drones. Those ants are cooked. Alzo, how did Ashley do in our quiz?

She did good. She got two out of three. That's a win for me. Congratulations, Ashley. Well done. Thank you so much for playing. Thanks for having me. Take care. I like dogs that live in the mud, like and south black and red. I like Beatles really big and piece of bars around my...

Now onto our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank, each of our players. will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Alzo, can you please give us the score? Of course. Hari has three. Faith and Josh are tied up with two. Okay.

How is that possible? So that means Faith and Josh are tied for second. I'm going to arbitrarily choose Josh to go first. Here we go. The clock will start when I begin your first question, fill in the blank. On Wednesday, Donald Trump signed a nuclear power deal with blank. Saudi Arabia? Right.

Despite an initial test that was a false positive. The FDA says the cyclospora outbreak is, still tied to Blank from Taylor Farms. Lettuce? Right. This week, two experimental chatbot models owned by Blank hacked into another company without any human prompting. Open AI. Right. On Sunday, Manosphere Influencer Blank and his brother were arrested in Miami.

Andrew Tate. Right. This week, a man who was caught on video getting tossed eight feet in the air by a bison at Yellowstone. Said that getting thrown didn't hurt, but Blank did. Landing? Yes. Good bit. For the second time this year, the average price of Blank rose above $4 a gallon.

Yes. Right. On Tuesday, astronomers in the UK discovered that Blank once had underground rivers of magma. Venus? No, Mars. This week, a court in Alabama said that a woman who was out on bail for attempting to poison her husband may have violated the terms of her release when she blanked. Poisoned him again?

Yes, or tried to. Wow. In 2025, Sarah Baker was arrested for attempting to poison her husband but made bail under two conditions. One, that she not make contact with her husband, and two, that she definitely not try to poison him again. Whoops. If you have to say it. Yeah.

Also, I think Josh did really well. Yeah, I think he studied this week. He got seven right for 14 more points, total of 16 and the lead. Wow. Okay. That means that faith is up next. Here we go. Fill in the blank on Tuesday.

France became the latest country to ban blank for kids under 15. Social media. Right. On Monday, Donald Trump announced plans to impose a 50% blank on imports from Canada. Tariff. Right. This week, Tropical Storm Bertha made landfall in the U.S., prompting blank warnings across the East Coast. Flood. Right. After confirming four new cases, health officials in Delaware declared a blank outbreak. Kneels?

Right. This week, a man in Denver was arrested for breaking a window on a train and blanking. Mooning people. No. Well, I'm going to give it to you. He surfed naked on top of the train. According to a new study, 156. is the maximum human blank. Oh, IQ. No. Age.

Despite the success of Toy Story 5, Blank announced it was laying off dozens of animators. Pixar. Right. Doctors were surprised this week and a woman brought in with heart attack symptoms

was diagnosed with blank. Labor. She was in labor. No, she was diagnosed with being too happy. After examining the woman, doctors say she has a rare condition called happy heart syndrome

where your body gets flooded with the natural chemicals associated with extreme emotion. The cause was her daughter's wedding three days earlier. Oh, it's a sweet story, but I'm terrified what's going to happen to her and when she finally discovers the true meaning of Christmas. How did Faith do on our quiz? She felt just a little short of Josh.

She got six right for 12 more points, total of 14. Josh is still in the lead. And how many then does Hari need to win? Well, I'm the judge. Harry, how much money you got, I'll tell you. Harry needs seven to win. All right. Here we go, Harry.

This is for the game. On Sunday, Spain defeated Argentina to win the 2026 blank. World Cup. Right. On Tuesday, Pete Hackseth testified that the war with blank had cost the U.S. $37 billion. Iran. Right.

On Thursday, the EU announced a $1 billion fine against search giant blank. Google? Right. This week, Andy Burnham was sworn in as the new prime minister of blank. The UK. Right. Just a few summers after Orker whales were spotted wearing salmon as hats. Scientists have now observed whales playing a new game, blank.

Salmon volleyball. No. Ramming into fish so hard that they explode. Don't knock it until you tried it. On Monday, the American Heart Association recommended limiting blank consumption to five cups a day. Coffee. Right. In an incredibly rare feat, a woman in Australia gave birth to identical blanks.

Twins. No, come on. That's not rare. Quadruplets. This week, a family from Utah on vacation in California were shocked when they noticed the picture on the wall of their Airbnb was a picture of blank. Them. Exactly right.

According to one of the family members, quote, we're looking at this picture, and my dad is like, that looks like me. They didn't believe him until they spotted more members of their family in the water on this beach picture around him. Apparently, the artwork came from a San Diego photographer who, quote, takes aerial beach photos and enlarges them as artwork for vacation rentals, unquote. That's fine, but the weird thing was, it was a picture from next summer. Alzo, how did Hari do?

Did he do well enough to win? Oh, man, so close, Harry. So close. You got six right for 12 more points, total of 15. Josh wins with 16. Coming up, our panel's predict after the Odyssey of what will be the next ancient text to be turned into a blockbuster movie. But first let me tell you all that.

Wait, wait, don't tell me. It's a production of NPR and WB EZ Chicago in association with urgent air car productions, Doug Berman, benevolent overlord. Philip Godica writes our limericks, our public address announcer is Paul Friedman, our ops manager, Jazeera Fardack. Thanks to the staff and crew at the studio Baker Theater, BJ Leideman, composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles, Norris, and Lillian King.

Special thanks this week to Blythe Robertson, Janie Hoffman, and Dom Banya's. Our Trojan horse is full of Peter Gwyns. Emma Choi is our vibe curator, technical directions from Lorna Wider, CFO's Colin Miller. Our production managers, Robert Newhouse, our senior producer is Ian Schillock and the executive producer.

Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, is Mike Danforth. Now panel, what will be the next ancient text made into a movie? Hurry, come to Bolo. Etypice, Rex, with Rupal playing Oedipus and the mother. Faith Saly. Coming soon, Pixar's Kamasutra. And Josh Gondelman.

Next summer, Seth Rogen and Eric Andre get Rosetta Stoned. And if any of that happens, panel, we'll ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you, Alzo Slade. Thanks also to Faith Saly, Josh Ghanelman, and Hurricane Baloo. Thanks for a fabulous audience at the Studio Baker Theater in Chicago. Thanks to all of you for listening. Wherever you are, I'm Peter Sagal.

We'll see you next week from Sonoma, California. This is NPR.