Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - Abby Phillip

Episode Date: February 13, 2021

Abby Phillip, host of CNN's "Inside Politics", joins us along with panelists Paula Poundstone, Tom Bodett, and Alonzo Bodden.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. Another pun about my name? An excuse of Bill. I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host. He's even more effective after the second dose. Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. And thanks, as always, to our fake audience who we've been using so long that now I'm starting to worry that they're just being nice and don't really mean it.

Later on, we're going to be talking to one of the new stars of cable TV news, Abby Phillip of CNN. We wanted to catch her before the full moon turns her into a wolf blitzer. But first, it's your turn. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Annie Cathy. How are you doing? I'm fine, Annie Cathy. How are you? I'm wonderful. Now I'm talking to you. How are you guys up there in the North? Where are you calling from, Annie? I'm calling from North Carolina. Oh, it's a beautiful place. What do

you do there? I am a COVID regulator case investigator. Oh my gosh. Yes, sir. So wait a minute. You say you're a case investigator. You've got to go find out if people have COVID and sort of root out the truth? In a sense, but we do it remotely. Therefore, we are all in our own location. I understand. So it's not like you're a Columbo. You sort of poke around and you're leaving. You say, one more thing. Why are you coughing? Yeah, I'm not going through their window and asking them to open up their door. No, sir. Well, Annie, welcome to the show. Let me introduce you to our panel for this week. Well, Annie, welcome to the show. Let me introduce you to our panel for this week. First up, it's a stand-up who's live and virtual comedy shows you can find via alonzoboden.com. Alonzo Boden.

Hello, Annie. How are you? Oh, lovely. Next, it's the host of the podcast, Nobody Listens to Paula Poundstone, available wherever you might get your podcasts. It's Paula Poundstone. Hey, Annie. Hey, Paula. And finally, a humorist who is so pro-vax, he'll volunteer to get his early. It's Tom Beaudet. Yeah, get me in your line, Annie. How are you doing? Hey, you're right here with me. Annie, welcome to the show. I bet you anticipated this. You're going to play Who's Bill this

time. Bill Curtis right here is going to read you three quotations from the week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain two of them, you will win our prize. Any voice from our show, you might choose in your voicemail. You ready to go? I'm ready. All right. Here is your first quote. Everyone's entitled to a mulligan once in a while. That was Senator Mike Lee of Utah, perhaps showing his hand as what solemn proceeding began in the Senate. The impeachment. Yes, or the second impeachment of Donald Trump. The House managers presented video of Trump and the rioters he incited that was so compelling, Republicans had to literally look away.

Senator Josh Hawley was seen ignoring the presentations and just going through some paperwork instead. What a disgrace, said a million people who have spent every minute of every Zoom meeting for the past year scrolling Instagram. Oh, come on now. Who hasn't incited a riot and an attack on the Capitol? It could happen to anybody. So we just let this one go. That is pretty much the attitude taken by Republicans, some of whom are performatively ignoring the evidence. In addition to Josh Hawley, Senator Rick Scott was seen over the course of the two days of evidence. This is true. He was filling in the countries on a blank map of Asia. It's so nice that even after reaching his high office,

he's still working on getting his elementary school degree. Yeah, yeah. He had some work that was missing. I have found the whole thing so educational. Really? How so, Paula? Well, I had no idea that Nebraskans were such judicial thinkers. I didn't either. Yes. Now you are referring, of course, to the breakout star of day one. That was Trump lawyer Bruce Castor, who gave a speech so meandering, including calling Nebraska for some reason a, quote, judicial thinking place that even Rudy Giuliani thought, what the hell is this guy talking about? He thought, what the hell is this guy talking about? You know, Trump was in trouble when Castor started his speech by saying, ladies and gentlemen, what is impeachment?

And then waited for someone to tell him. Well, I think he was just lost in his suit. Did you know? I mean, it looks like he lost like 40 pounds, but never had the suit taken in, which I mean, I applaud him for losing the weight. But holy smokes. Apparently he lost it that day. He heard the opening arguments of the other side and just the pounds fell away. He just shed it. Now, on the second and third days of the trial, the Democrats showed much more video evidence, including new security video, we had never seen it, of the Capitol siege, including footage that showed Mitt Romney running so fast from the rioters that

one of his hairs almost moved. Oh, for real, Romney runs like an Olympic sprinter, while in another video, Chuck Schumer is seen to run like an Olympic Schumer. I thought Romney did look fairly athletic when he kicked it in. He found a stride and was gone. That was great. He ran like there were taxes coming for him.

Exactly. All right, Annie, here is your next quote. Damn it. Double up. That was epidemiologist Eric Fagelding talking about new advice we got from the CDC this week, telling us all to double up on our what? Masks. Masks. Yes, that's right. The CDC now recommends that everybody should wear two masks at once, one to cover your mouth and

nose and one to hide your face in case you attack the Capitol. But, and this is true, you might think, well, two's are good, three's better. No, three masks is bad because your air can't pass through it, so it goes out the sides and defeats the purpose of the mask. So, two is better than one, but three is worse than two, and eight is better than three because you suffocate, which at least means you won't get COVID. Now, is the good doctor aware that half of the country isn't wearing one mask? Well, that's the thing.

When you shoot for two, isn't he aiming a little high? Has he not been to Florida, Texas, Arizona, the Dakotas, and on and on and on? It's possible that they're only saying this. So maybe the idiots who refuse to wear a mask as a form of rebellion will now try to rebel by wearing just one mask. So at least you're like you're trying to get the American average up to one, maybe. Yeah. It's like when you set your alarm clock for an hour before you need to leave for where you're going. Thinking eventually if you sleep in, then eventually you'll get up and go. Yeah. Right. Which means you got 15 minutes. Right. Now, one problem with double masks is it might double your mask knee, which is a real problem.

That's rashes and pimples in your chin caused by constantly wearing a mask. Well, it's either that or it's that we're all using the pandemic as an excuse to gorge ourselves in chocolate and anabolic steroids. I wonder what happens if you tell a nurse about your mask knee. Like, cry me a river. I've been wearing these masks since before the pandemic. What do they do? Don't healthcare workers, they've been wearing these all the time. So can't we just find out what they do for maskne?

Well, apparently their solution is you have to wash your mask regularly. Or who cares? You're wearing a mask. No one's going to see it. Maybe they're only wearing it because they already had, you know. All right, Annie. Here is your mask regularly. Or, who cares? You're wearing a mask. No one's going to see it. Maybe they're only wearing it because they already had, you know. It's true. All right, Annie, here is your last quote. Why are people so dang obsessed with it? That was National Geographic talking about the recent pileup of space probes arriving where?

Well, I would guess Mars, because we all want to live there, don't we? Yes, it is Mars. You guessed correctly. It's Mars. Three probes, three different space probes, have either arrived or will be arriving at Mars just this month. There's one from China, one from the USA, and one from the United Arab Emirates, or UAE. There is actually traffic on the way to Mars. The real space race, it turns out, just getting a parking spot. Yeah. It makes you think that they found something they're not really telling the rest of us about, right? Yeah. Well, what's interesting to me is the UAE, United Arab Emirates, first Arab country ever to

do it, has sent a probe to Mars that has just arrived in orbit. Now, they, of course, are the same people who convinced the International Jet Set to come to Dubai. So that means that Mars will soon be the next pretentious destination. Somebody will spend a week there, and for the rest of their life, they'll be like, well, we pronounce it Marth. Well, when you think of Dubai, they probably got the best shot at being able to settle Mars because look where they built that city. Yeah. It was like on a bank of sand with no fresh water. Plus, don't they have the tallest building in the world in Dubai?

They do. So all they have to do is make the elevator go three more floors and they're on Mars. They're practically there. You're right. You're right. I think it just shows how little we trust each other as countries. When one government goes to Mars and says, there's absolutely nothing there. And they're like, I don't believe you.

I'm sending a probe by something. Two countries are like, it is barren. There's nothing but dust. You're holding out on me. I'm sending. Bill, how did Annie do on our quiz? Annie's our champion. Congratulations, Annie.

Thank you, guys. Thank you so much for playing, Annie. And keep up that good work. Hopefully it'll be over soon. Thank you so much. Bye-bye now. Right now, panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Tom, a museum in Western Canada had thought they found a priceless ancient carving made by the indigenous people of that region until a local artist came forward and said, no, that's mine.

I made it a couple of years ago. The museum decided, though, to do what? To use it anyway, because it's still local native art. No, they were even more forward. I'll give you a hint. Like, la, la, la, we can't hear you. Oh, they just ignored the fact of it and put it in their collection. They basically said, we don't believe you.

Last week, the Royal British Columbia Museum announced they had found this artifact that was used in rituals by the Songki and Eskimo First Nations tribes, washed up in a beach. Very valuable. Very rare. But then this local guy named Ray said, nah, actually, it was me.

He even provided photos he took of the work while he was carving it. But the museum is sticking to its guns. They basically say, aha, you know, I think we're the experts on what you did and didn't carve. Thank you very much. And they're actually going to have First Nations elders inspect this sculpture and let them determine if the artifact was produced by their ancestors or Ray. This couldn't have gone better for Ray. I mean, if his point was to just sort of punk the future by planting this artifact,

I mean, this went hilariously well for him. It happened in his lifetime. And he even tried to stop it as an honest person, and they wouldn't let him. So I say, yay, Ray. It happened in his lifetime. And he even tried to stop it as an honest person. And they wouldn't let him. So I say yay Ray. It's fabulous. You get the feeling that they're just at the museum and the phone rings and they're like, oh, it's Ray again. Remember when

Ray painted the Mona Lisa? Yeah, Ray. Yeah, Ray. Coming up, Rome wasn't built in a day, but our bluff, the listener game, only takes about four minutes. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT-TO-PLAY. We'll be back in a minute with more Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. Here at Planet Money Industries, we've manufactured T-shirts,

we've bought oil, we've even gone to space. But our next Planet Money series, well, let's just say a superhero is born. Coming to a podcast feed near you from NPR. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Paula Poundstone, Alonzo Bowden, and Tom Beaudet. And he floats like a butterfly, hosts like a bee. It's Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill.

Well, right now it's time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff, the listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game on the air. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hey, this is Vidal from Austin. Hey, Vidal. How are things? I'm doing great today. Got some winter weather in Austin, but I'm enjoying it.

That's good. That's good. I got to ask you a question. I've been to Austin many times, and I've seen the bumper stickers saying, keep Austin weird. And I'm worried because all these people from California are moving there. Is Austin still weird? I'm from New Orleans, which is a pretty weird place. Oh, yes. Your standards are weird or pretty high.

Yes. Yes. So at the current moment, Austin is the second weirdest place I've ever been. All right. Well, welcome to the show, Vidal. You're going to play our game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what's Vidal's topic? Toga, toga, toga. Ancient Romans were just like us. They liked loose-fitting clothing, a nice big meal, and naked wrestling. Our panelists are going to tell you about another way the people of ancient Rome weren't so different from the people of today. Pick the one who's telling the truth and you'll win our prize, the weight waiter of your choice on your voicemail. Are you ready to play? Ready. All right, Vidal, here we go. Your first story of ancient Rome comes from Tom Beaudet. Researchers at the Roman collection of the Museum of London

have solved a centuries old mystery of some odd Browns coins found scattered through the old Roman city center. The coins were not currency, but contain a person's initials and short common Latin phrases and abbreviations, such as ad nauseum, ex animo, and aridere, which means laugh out loud. ex animo and aridere, which means laugh out loud. The breakthrough came when social anthropologist Dr. Keith Shipman cross-referenced the locations of where the coins had been found with known data about the residents at these locations. In most cases, the coins were found in households with children. This is an ancient form of Snapchat, said Dr. Shipman. You can imagine Roman kids sending their attitudes around the city by messenger as they sat home bored and cold and wishing they lived on the Mediterranean like normal families. Shipman knew he was on the right track when he found several coins with illustrations of male genitalia under the phrase magnum opus.

of male genitalia under the phrase magnum opus. Wherever you have imago falli, you have teenage boys. Turns out Roman teens had their own primitive version of Snapchat they used to message each other all day. Your next report from Rome comes from Paula Poundstone. Northwestern University archaeology professor Adam Curry has made the astounding discovery that some Romans couldn't read Roman numerals. I myself can never remember what side of the V's and the X's the eyes go on. There were a few years there where I had no idea what number Super Bowl I was watching.

At first I was ashamed, deeply ashamed, says a reddening Curry. But when I confessed the problem to a small group of friends, one among them related entirely. That's when I began to wonder if some Romans may have struggled with that as well. Curry's first clue was in the discovery of the financial records of ancient Roman Marcus Ereicles, which showed that Marcus habitually overpaid his olive oil merchant, Lucius Pompey, by two denarii. The final conclusive piece of support for Currie's theory came with the discovery of many torn pieces of a birthday party invitation in front of what was once the home located at 11 Via Sacra, which, when pieced together, read, Please join us for Gaius' birthday party at our home at 9 Via Sacra.

All these years later, one can just feel the disappointment of the guest. Turns out Romans weren't very good at reading Roman numerals either. Your last story of something we recognize in Rome comes from Alonso Bowden. When you think of the Roman legions, you think of conquest, armor with very impressive abs, and oddly menacing skirts. You probably don't think of paychecks and, of course, paycheck deductions. Archaeologists recently discovered the paystub of a legionnaire named Gaius Messias at a site in Israel. For his service to the empire, he was paid 50 denarii. But because the legion took care of all his needs, naturally they deducted

20 denarii for food, 5 denarii for boots, and 2 denarii for leather strapping, which everyone knows is a con. I mean, who has boots without strappings? There was also seven denarii for a linen tunic and finally 16 denarii for, quote, barley money, unquote. Barley money meant alcohol. Sure, you fought for the empire, but the drinks were on you. His deductions added up to exactly, Added up to exactly, let's see, you know, you carry the V, carry the I, 50 denarii. Gaius Messias was fighting for free. That's probably why he needed the barley money. All right.

One of these stories about a discovery from ancient Rome that makes us feel a certain kinship with those people was made recently. Was it from Tom Baudet, a discovery of a system that seemed like a Roman version of Snapchat for bored Roman teens? From Paula Poundstone, the discovery between various mistakes made that it turns out Romans weren't very good reading Roman numerals either? Or from Alonzo Bowden, the discovery of a paycheck for a legionnaire that shows that they also had paycheck deductions that basically robbed them of their pay. Which of these was the real story of a discovery in Roman archaeology? Something about the government getting me to fight for free just sounds true. You think so? All right, you're going to pick Alonzo's story of the pay stub with all the deductions found of a Roman legionnaire. Well, to bring you the real answer, we spoke to an expert familiar with the real story. Every single cent of his paycheck went back to the military immediately after he got it.

That was James Clark. He's a senior reporter for Task and Purpose, which is a military magazine talking about the ancient Roman pay stub. Congratulations, Vidal. You got it right. Congratulations. Well done, sir. Yes, you win. Vidal, congratulations, and thank you so much for playing. Have fun in Austin. Keep it weird. I'll keep it weird. Bye-bye. And now the game where we ask talented people to use absolutely none of their talents. It's called Not My Job. Abby Phillip is a veteran of Politico and The Washington Post. She has been covering the White House for CNN since 2017. She was just named the new host of Inside Politics on Sunday morning,

although we do not know yet if she has gotten magic wall privileges. Abby Phillip, welcome to Wait, Wait. Hi, thanks for having me. So you are a rising star in the world of political reporters. Were you one of those kids who was like a political nerd who was like always interested in politics when you were growing up? Yeah, I kind of was, although maybe I didn't realize it at the time. I thought it was just normal that people would watch the news all the time and know things and listen to NPR pretty

much exclusively in the car with their parents. But apparently that is not a thing that most normal kids do. Wait a minute. Were your parents the kind of parents who sort of forced you to listen to NPR because you were strapped in your car seat and you couldn't have any say in the matter? Yeah. And not just in my car seat, like all the way up until I was allowed to drive myself. Like we only listened to NPR in the car. Was there a particular incident? Like there's a whole generation of reporters who were like turned on to politics by the Watergate hearings. Was there something like that for you that made you say, I'm going to pursue this for

my career? You know, it wasn't until I got to college. I decided when I was in college that I couldn't swing it as a doctor. It just was not for me. And so I was like, well, I better go get some skills. And I started working on the newspaper analyst and who I actually now work with at CNN. But I was so starstruck talking to him as a freshman college student, you know, this guy who had worked in the White House for all these years. And I'd never talked to anybody like that before. And so that was the first time I ever felt like, wow, I love talking to people who used to have power at some point.

People who used to have power. Well, we have power now, just a different kind of power. And do you find it's more enjoyable to speak to people who actually have power, which you've been doing for quite some time? Actually, no, I don't. I think talking to people who actually have power is a little bit less interesting because they're trying to hold on to it. So they're a little cagey.

But people who have been there and have seen it all, they have all the secrets and they know what it's really like. And they're also willing to tell you. And I find that way more interesting. You had been a reporter for Politico and the Washington Post. Now you're at CNN, and now you're on CNN a lot on the sort of panels, constantly commenting. Very well. Is it hard to come up with something new to say? Oh, it's definitely hard sometimes. Sometimes you're like, what more am I supposed to say

about this thing? But the thing is, you know, maybe I think the thing that you don't realize about cable TV is that half of the battle is just repeating what the person before you said, but just saying it in a different way and making it sound new. And then you'll be fine. So in other words, you're kind of recycling the information that has just already been offered to the viewer, but perhaps you're doing it in a slightly new way so as to make it seem different. Is that what you're saying? You're exactly right about that. Wow.

It's hard to say. I mean, you've done a lot of very valuable work, but maybe the moment that really brought you to the attention of the public was a confrontation you had, an almost ugly one. I'm referring, of course, to the time you were attacked by a gecko. One of the scariest moments of my life.

This was when you were down in Florida, coming to president. Is that right? Yeah. Yeah. What happened? Well, I was on TV on a panel and it was, it was the middle of some kind of crazy Florida windstorm. And then suddenly I feel something land on my leg. And I don't want to look down because I'm on TV. But I'm like, I have to look down. I look down and there's a gecko staring up at me. And so I screamed and tried to knock the thing off my leg. And everyone thought I was being attacked by, you know, I mean, I was in West Palm Beach, so it could have been anything.

Of all the stuff that could attack you in Florida, a gecko is so nothing. I think maybe the reason I was also a little jumpy was because where we do our live shots is in front of this lake thing that has an alligator in it. There is an actual alligator in the lake behind me. And there's a giant tree that has geckos, but also other kinds of animals. And it's just a hazardous environment. There's another thing I wanted to ask you about, and you can tell me if I'm wrong. We heard that you have a big enthusiasm when you need to relax for reality TV. Is that the case?

Oh, yes, I do. What's your favorite show? Oh, I'm like a Real Housewives. Really? Yeah. What is the appeal of Real Housewives? I've never felt the appeal. What is the appeal? And maybe it's because it's like people that you know. So it's basically the same crew every season and you get to know them really well and you watch over time. And I'm bad with names. So it's easier for me to keep track of who's who. I guess the reason I'm puzzled is because isn't your job as a political

reporter and analyst covering enormous amounts of drama and the fact that you want to relax by watching more of that, I guess. As long as it's not about the future of American democracy, I think it's by contrast. You can relax. Incredibly relaxing. I have to ask you this. I joked about it. You did take over Inside Politics Sunday morning from the legendary John King. Will you get to use the magic wall?

I think so. We've been talking about it, but I have not been allowed on the magic wall just yet. I have to get a little bit of training it's a big responsibility and so but we're working on if you move your hand wrong like pennsylvania goes into the sea you can't yeah you can't mess with that it's a total i mean look nobody is going to be as good at the magic wall as john king so you shouldn't even try right but just I just don't want to break anything or make anything disappear or anything like that. Wow.

Yeah, of course. You're going to do the magic wall in your own special way, Abby. That's what I'm hoping. I have one last question. You and everybody else in political journalism, NPR, CNN, everywhere has been spending a lot of late nights of late, starting with the election, going through the next impeachment. Do you have a secret for staying awake? I eat a lot of late nights of late, starting with the election, going through the next impeachment. Do you have a secret for staying awake? I eat a lot of candy. Really?

Yeah. That's the secret? I mean, that's what I do. I don't know if it's a secret, but that's what I do. I eat a lot of sugary things. Wow. Do you have a favorite candy?

Fruit snacks. Fruit snacks are not candy. Fruit snacks? Yeah, I not candy. Fruit snacks. Yeah, I know they're 100% juice. That's what I tell myself, but it's mostly sugar. Do you ever eat anything that turns your tongue a funny color and then you've got a problem when you go on camera? That has not happened yet, but it's only a matter of time.

Stay away from atomic fireballs. They last for hours. Right, now that you've said that. Abby Phillip, it is a pleasure to talk to you. do it. It lasts for hours. Right, now that you've said that. Abby Phillip, it is a pleasure to talk to you. We have invited you here this time, though, to play a game we're calling Outside Politics.

You host Inside Politics. Now we thought we'd ask you about Outside Politics, that is, politics in the animal kingdom. Answer two questions out of three correctly, you'll win our prize for one of our listeners, the voice of their choice in their answering machine. Bill, who is Abby Phillip playing for? Unipet Abdelous, France.

Here's your first question. Beehives are very organized. We all know that. You have your queens, your drones, your workers, your warriors. But beehives also have what? A, bar bouncers, B, spiritual guides, or C, chauffeurs? I'm going to go with A, bar bouncers. You are right. Bs have bar bouncers. It turns out, I didn't know this, Bs are notorious for getting drunk on fermented nectar. And so in hives, there will be certain Bs whose job it is

is to stand at the entrance and keep the drunk bees from going inside. Wow. All right. Next question. Chickens have a pecking order, obviously. Now, sometimes a rooster will challenge the human for dominance over the chicken coop. So what does modernfarmer.com suggest the human do to show the rooster that he or she is boss? A. Crow like a rooster through an amplifier because volume always wins. B, just put on a rooster suit, get down in the dirt and get ready to rumble.

Or C, just eat it. I know what I want to answer, but I'm going to go with A. It was actually just eat it. Oh, okay. That's what you learned but I'm going to go with A. It was actually just eat it. Oh, okay. That's what you learned. I was going to say that. Apparently, sometimes if you grab the rooster and hold it down on the ground, that can establish

dominance. But when that doesn't work, to quote modernfarmer.com, plan B, the stew pot. That is absolutely the correct answer. Wow. There you go. All right. Last question. If you get this right, you win.

A lot of animals, it turns out, have a form of democracy. How do African wild dogs vote on what the pack will do? A, they sneeze. B, they roll their eyes. Or C, by electronic device. I'm going to go with A. You're going to go with A, they sneeze. You're right.

That's what they do. That's what my dog does. When your dog, my dog sneezes too, but when they sneeze, are they registering a preference? When he sneezes, he's demanding something usually. Wow. He apparently has something in common with the African wild dog. Yeah. Bill, how did Abby Phillip do in our quiz?

Well, she won with two out of three. Abby, good luck on the new show. Yay! Congratulations. Thank you. I'm no good at games, so this was a real victory for me. Abby Phillip is a senior political correspondent for CNN. She's the new host of Inside Politics Sunday.

Abby Phillip, thank you so much for joining us on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Congratulations on everything, and good luck with the new gig. Thank you so much for having me. It was really fun. Thank you, Abby. luck with the new gig. Thank you so much for having me. It was really fun. Thank you, Abby. Bye. Bye-bye. In just a minute, Bill could go all the way

in our Listener Limerick Challenge. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us in the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. Decades before the civil rights movement of the 1950s and 60s, Marcus Garvey attracted millions of followers with a message of Black self-sufficiency and Black nationalism in Africa. For our Black History Month special series, The Seismic Influence and Complicated Legacy of Marcus Garvey. Listen now to the ThruLine podcast from NPR.

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We're playing this week with Tom Bodette, Alonzo Bowden, and Paula Poundstone. And here again is your host, the man who puts the rad in radio. It's Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. In just a minute, Bill reveals his favorite CNN anchor is Abby Philip Godica. It's our listener limerick challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924.

Right now, though, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Alonzo, we're going on now one year of the pandemic lockdown, and in a sign that they cannot distribute vaccines fast enough, more and more men are carving artistic designs into their what? Wow. Carving artistic designs into, can you give me a hint? Is it a body part? Sort of. It's like people are like a real Hieronymus Bosch or maybe a Pablo Picasso. Into their beards or chest hair? Close. A little lower. Chest hair, yes. Men have taken to carving designs into their chest hair. Chest hair art.

Hairy men have become bored enough they've started shaving designs into their chest hair because you know what they say, if you can't tone it, tan it. And if you can't tan it either, shave a weird Batman logo into it. This is right on the threshold of self-harm now, aren't we? No, they're not plucking it, they're shaving it. So men, of course, have posted photos

of themselves on social media with various corporate logos or hearts, Union Jacks, a Kraken and six pack outlines carefully composed in the world's grossest canvas. Men do it sometimes, or as you might think, enlist their partners. Some of the designs are incredibly elaborate, like one guy's wife shaved divorce papers right into his back. Paula, the Wall Street Journal reports that as we're all spending time at home, alone with our possessions day after day, more and more of us are choosing to do what with all that stuff? Get rid of it. Exactly.

Give it away. The free stuff sections of Craigslist and Facebook have always been strange, but they're getting stranger. People have recently posted online for free bathing dust for chinchillas, 23 empty beer bottles, a barrel of used soybean oil, five single serving packets of Arby's sauce and a Mongolian language version of the book of Mormon. It's all free.

Apparently you can get, if you saw the ad in time, anybody else has been spending their whole paycheck to bathe their chinchilla in dust is feeling pretty dumb right now. I will tell you this from experience, there is nothing more annoying than trying to give something away. I was one of these people. I had a dresser and I had a desk and I put them on that Facebook marketplace for free and you get more weird responses. I think my favorite one was when someone emailed me and said, is the dresser still available?

And I replied, yes. And they replied, no. So it's true. I had an air compressor that had a little leak in the tank. So I just wanted to give it away. They can be fixed. I just wasn't interested in fixing it. So I put it up for

free and a guy came over and he said, that's a pretty good little compressor. I said, yeah, it is. But you know, the tank leaks. He goes, oh, oh, so the tank leaks. Huh? You know, I was just like, well, what do you want me to pay you to take it? Well, what's your best offer on your leaky compressor? Coming up, it's lightning fill in the blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's

1-888-924-8924. You can always click the Contact Us link on our website, waitwait.npr.org. Also, the Wait Wait Live Virtual Comedy Club with Maz Jobrani, Maeve Higgins, Joel Kim Booster, Moe Rocca, and Helen Hong is coming up on March 2nd. Tickets and info at nprpresents.org.

The website looks like nprpresents.org, which is what you get the nerd in your family for their birthday. But no, the website is nprpresents.org. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, my name's Adam Ali. I'm calling in from Ann Arbor, Michigan. Adam Ali in Ann Arbor? That's very alliterative. What do you do there in Ann Arbor? I'm a child psychiatrist.

Wow. What made you interested in that field? Honestly, I never thought I would go into psychiatry, let alone child psychiatry when I went to med school, but it just kind of clicked. Yeah. Plus, if people like talking with puppets all day, it's one of the only ways you can do that and make a living. Well, how does that make you feel, Peter? You, sir, have a gift.

You're going to do well, Adam. I appreciate it. Bill Curtis is now going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly, two of the limericks will be a winner. Are you ready to play? Let's do it. Here's your first limerick.

The girth of this house is quite many. To enter, I squirm and I shinny. It's just six feet wide, but feels spacious inside. This house is incredibly... Skinny? Yes! Skinny. For only $1.3 million, you can buy the

skinniest house in London. It's six feet wide, but it is five stories tall. Think of it, though, as just a summer home because during the winter it's playing pro basketball for the Clippers. This house used to be just a hat shop until a fashion photographer turned it into his dream house, specifically that dream where you're in the bathroom and the walls are slowly closing in on you. You couldn't gain weight in that house. No, you'd be pretty much, you know, yeah, you'd have to leave the house and gain and lose the weight before you can come back in. The house is very small. It is a marvel of efficiency, though. It's got everything you need. It's got a patio on the roof. It's got a study. It's got a full-sized kitchen, if you are Barbie. How amazing would it be to have a place where your neighbors on both sides can hear each other through your walls?

I stayed at a roadside hotel once, not anything I'm affiliated with. It was a long time ago. It was a long time ago, and the couple on one side of me was so amorous that the people on the other side of me were banging on my wall to quiet them down. And what did you say? Oh, okay. I said, it's not me, and then go bang on the wall. Did you have to translate the bangs? So you're banging on the wall, and you walk across the hotel room, and you're banging the other wall.

Right. And they say, leave us alone. And you have to walk back to the first wall and say, leave us alone. They say, leave us alone. All night long. Wow. All right. Here is your next limerick. Since technology makes a good fake, my old butcher I now will forsake.

I didn't use paper, but bio-meat shapers. Now I have just printed a steak. A steak, yes, you can now get a 3D printed ribeye steak made from actual cow cells. Finally! With this breakthrough in 3D

bioprinting, the Israeli company Aleph Foods says they've created an artificial ribeye steak. Well, it's actually just a rib with an eye stuck on it. They're working out the bugs. But they say pretty soon they'll be able to manufacture any cut of meat you like. But it's the worst thing when you're halfway through printing your steak and you run out of toner. We're getting very close to the Star Trek replicator. We are.

I like it. As soon as they can print Earl Grey hot, you know, I'm in. I'm buying one. But the only problem is you're going to have to make room for another kitchen appliance. You're going to get air fryer, your instant pot, your steak printer, and then you're going to get one, and then your pretentious friends will have like a $60,000 brass steak printer from Inteli. And then the kids will be, Mom, we're out of cow cells.

I just went to the store. Have you been printing whole cows again? Didn't the folks at McDonald's just hold up a McRib and say, hello? That's pretty much. All right, here's your last limerick. In baseball, we hit over walls, and umps make some generous calls. Let's make it less fun and ease up on home runs. I'll say we should deten the...

Balls? Yes, the answer is balls! You don't have to wake up from your nap at the baseball game anymore because MLB is making it harder to hit home runs. You know, home runs, when the ball goes far and everybody stands up and cheers and life feels good for a moment. Well, we're going to get less of them this upcoming season. The league is making the baseball slightly less bouncy.

This is in reaction to the explosion of home runs the last few seasons, which apparently people enjoyed a little too much. Why would you do this? It's like, hey, you like weeks? Cool. Let's try them without Saturday and Sunday. Why are they doing it? They're doing this because the feeling was the game was getting too, hey, you like weeks? Cool, let's try them without Saturday and Sunday. Why are they doing it? They're doing this because the feeling was the game was getting too out of balance against pitchers.

Too many home runs, too many long balls. Here's an idea. Why not just make the bat inflatable? I guess, yeah, to keep the players from hitting the ball too far is to give them inflatable plastic bats. Another thing you can do is not let them eat. How is Paula not the commissioner? I know, it's amazing. Of course, no matter what they do, they won't fix the most boring part about baseball, people talking about baseball.

Bill, how did Adam do in our quiz? Let's give Adam three home runs. Way to go, Adam. Whoa, very well done, Adam. That is very generous. Thank you. Thank you so much, Adam. Thank you, guys.

Bye-bye. Now to our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores? Paula has two, Alonzo has three, and Tom has three. Well, Paula, you are in second place, we'll call it. So you're up first.

The clock will start when you begin your first question, fill in the blank. You are in second place, we'll call it. So you're up first. The clock will start when you begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Thursday, Shell announced their blank production had peaked and would now decrease every year. Oil? Yes. On Sunday, Representative Ron Wright became the first sitting member of Congress to die while diagnosed with blank.

COVID. Right. This week, President Biden announced sanctions against the leaders of the military coup in blank. Myanmar. Right. This week, President Biden announced sanctions against the leaders of the military coup in blank. Myanmar. Right. On Wednesday, Georgia prosecutors opened a criminal investigation of blank's attempts to overturn the election there. Oh, who's trying to overturn elections? Hmm.

Trump. Yes. This week, a Massachusetts man who was arrested for cutting off his ankle monitor was released on the condition that he blank. Not cut off his ankle monitor was released on the condition that he blank. Not cut off his ankle monitor again. I'm going to give it to you because he's released on the condition that he wear an ankle monitor. On Monday, it was announced that Blank would star in her own Netflix kids show about eating healthy. Michelle Obama? Yes, that's her cause. On Sunday, Tampa Bay beat Kansas City to win the 55th blank. Super Bowl. Yes, a virtual court hearing in Texas was disrupted this week. One of the lawyers couldn't figure out how to blank. Not be a cat.

Exactly right, to turn off the talking cat filter on his Zoom feed. The lawyer's daughter had apparently turned on the filter earlier in the day, so the Zoom hearing showed two very serious lawyers and one very serious cat. Unfortunately, no one in the hearing could figure out how to turn the filter off, so the lawyer told everyone else, well, just go forward with it. Unfortunately, things only got more chaotic when he kept knocking off all his legal briefs off the table with a paw. Bill, how did Paula do in our quiz? Well, stand back and let me give you the score.

She had eight right for 16 more points. She now has 18 and the lead. That's perfect. Impressively good round. Thank you. All right, here we go. Alonzo, you're up next. Fill in the blank. On Sunday, President Biden said he wouldn't lift sanctions against blank until they stopped enriching uranium. he wouldn't lift sanctions against blank until they stopped enriching uranium. Iran? Right. According to Reuters, several high-profile Republicans had a meeting to discuss forming their own new blank. Political party?

Right. This week, all three main U.S. blank indexes closed at record highs. Stock? Wall Street? Yeah. On Wednesday, the teachers' union in blank reached an agreement to reopen schools. Arizona? No, Chicago. This week, a woman in New Zealand was sentenced for trying to enter that country while smuggling blank. Americans? No, almost 1,000 cactuses strapped to her body under her clothes.

According to new numbers, 1 in 10 Americans have gotten at least their first blank shot. Oh, vaccine. COVID vaccine. Right. On Monday, Mary Wilson, one of the founding members of the blanks, passed away at the age of 76. Supremes. Right. After a math professor in Singapore completed a two-hour lecture over Zoom, he blanked. Wow. Passed away?

No, he realized he had been on mute the entire time. Wow. The mathematics professor got through his entire two-hour lecture before realizing that his mic had been turned off. Because his students couldn't interact with him until the Q&A session at the end of the lesson, they were unable to let him know that no one could hear him, which I'm sure they would have done if they could. Am I right? Bill, how did Alonzo do in our quiz? Alonzo had five right for ten more points.

He now has 13. But Paula still has the lead. Wow. With an 18. Wow. Very good. So how many then does Tom need to win? Tom needs eight to win.

All right, Tom. I just concede. Can I just quit? No, no, no. This is for the game. Fill in the blank. On Thursday, Dr. Fauci predicted that everyone would be able to get blanked starting in April. Vaccinated.

Yes. On Monday, House Democrats began discussing plans to raise the blank to $9.50 by the end of the year. The federal minimum wage. Right. This week, the Federal Reserve said they'd keep blanks low until the labor market recovered. Interest rates. Right. On Wednesday, President Biden had his first call with the president of blank since taking office. Putin. No, China. After getting reports of a body

lying in the snow, police in Amsterdam arrived in the scene and discovered the body was blank. It was just sleeping there. No, it was just, quote, a really weird snowman. Reversing Trump's push to force its sale, President Biden eased pressure on social media app blank. A parlor or TikTok. TikTok. TikTok. Yes, I'll give it to you. A New York woman was shocked this week when her Nest security camera alerted her to a suspicious figure in her house, but was relieved when it was blank. Herself. No, it was just a pillow with a dog wearing glasses embroidered on it. The Nest security camera sends alerts about potential threats to your phone, so the woman was understandably frightened,

at least until she looked at the footage and discovered the camera had mistaken the embroidered dog pillow on her couch for an intruder. Clearly, Nest needs to work on what is considered a threat. A cute dog pillow? No. That entire box of Oreos just sitting there? Definitely. Bill, how did Tom do in our quiz? This is for the history books. Tom had

four right for eight more points. Total of 11. But that's not enough to catch Paula. Once again, she's our champ with 18 points. That's amazing. Well done. You know what? I hope that this isn't too

self-aggrandizing, but I hope to shave today's date into my leg hair. In just a minute, we'll ask our panelists to predict a surprising Valentine's Day gift somebody is getting this weekend. Wait, wait, don't tell me. As a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions, Doug Berman, benevolent overlord. Philip Godeka writes our limericks. Our house manager is Gianna Capodona. Our intern is Emma Choi.

Our web guru is Beth Novy. And this week, we lost a member of the Wait Wait family to COVID. Matt Lingenfelter was one of the volunteers who showed up every week for our shows in Chicago and had done so for years. If he came, you might have seen him with his mustache and bright baseball hat. He was a bright light in our comedy bunker, and he will be missed. BGA Leaderman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornbos, and Lillian King. Our valentine is Peter Gwynn. Technical direction is from Lorna White. Our business and ops manager is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chilog, and the executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Michael Danforth.

Now, panel, who's getting a special Valentine gift this weekend? Tom Bodette. Congressional hottie Jamie Raskin receives underwear from law students across the land. Paula Poundstone. Mrs. Rand Paul will give Rand a word search book in case there's another critically important meeting while our democracy hangs in the balance where he should be paying attention. And Alonzo Bowden. Well, his supermodel wife, Giselle, was going to give Tom Brady a ring, but then, you know, he's got seven of them, so why bother? Well, if any of that happens,

we'll ask you about it. But wait, wait, don't tell me. Thank you, Bill Curtis. Thanks also to Tom Baudet, Paula Pounce, and Alonzo Boat. Thanks to all of you for listening. I'm grateful you spent another week with us. I'm Peter Sagal, and we'll see you next week. This is NPR.