Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - Best of NMJ June 2022

Episode Date: June 4, 2022

This week as we (hopefully) say goodbye to Zoom shows, we feature Kacey Musgraves, Brian Cox, Audra McDonald, and Woody Hoburg.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

Hey, it's Peter Sagal. Ever wonder what our panelists would be like without me holding them back? Find out with the Wait, Wait! Stand-Up Tour, hosted by Alonzo Bowden, Saturday, June 25th, in Denver at the Paramount Theatre. Tickets and more information at nprpresents.org. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait! Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm the little pamphlet that tells you the star you came to see won't be performing tonight. I'm the play Bill.

Bill Curtis, and here's your host, a man who hopes that people will stop showing up at the theater hoping to see his understudy, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. So for the past two years or so, we here at Wait, Wait have done 85 shows without an audience at home over Zoom. Today's show is number 86, which is appropriate because it is finally time to 86 the Zoom calls. 86 is old timey slang meaning to end. Now let me tell you the meaning of some of my other favorite numbers, starting with 420. Well, hang on, Bill. We've got stuff to do. Starting next week, we will be back in front of a live audience at our new home in Chicago, the Studebaker Theater. And we need a little time to get ready. There's so much to do. There's wardrobe. There's makeup. There's vocal warm-ups. Unique New York. Unique New York. Unique New York.

Now, while we're busy doing that, we thought we'd entertain you with some remarkable material we recorded over the last year, including some things you have never heard before. Let's start with country music star Kacey Musgraves, who we spoke to in January. Musgraves, who we spoke to in January. Peter asked her about the start of her career when she went on a music competition show and lost. For just a blip of a second, you know, just long enough to get my feelings hurt and go home. Wow. Is the show still going on? Have they invited you to come back?

No, no, no, no. They figured out they couldn't pick talent and they just sort of, you know, let the whole thing die. We were looking into your background and your start, and I found out something that is, I hope is true, that one of the things you did as a very young artist was to entertain at the Sweet Potato Festival in Golden, Texas. Oh, hell yes, I did. Oh, my gosh. That's a huge gig. Thank you so much for having me.

I want to know everything about the sweet potato festival in golden Texas. The sweet potato festival happens every year. It's in my tiny little hometown of golden Texas. All the old ladies do like bake offs with, you know, sweet potato casserole and pies. And, um, they queen, they, uh, crown a sweet potato queen. Tell me it was your year. Uh, no, you know, I, I tried out for it. So for the little kids, they have a little miss tater tot and little miss tater tot. And I, I didn't win that freaking competition either. Okay. So, but did you, did you in fact get up as a child with your guitar and play? So I did, I did try out for a little miss tater tot it did not fare well for me um but um it's it's funny though i do actually have like i have this video of my mom walking me kind

of across the stage i had this like little prairie dress on i was clutching a doll and the uh the mc of the night said and it's in such a country accent it It's like, it's really cute. But she says, this is Casey Musgraves. She loves pizza, sparkly dresses, movies, singing, looking at books, not even reading books. She said, looking at books. She don't like bedtime. She don't like bugs. And she don't like the word no. And I'm like, still true.

Hey, at least I'm still me. I know. Wow. I love looking at books and I like the word no. And I'm like, still true. Hey, at least I'm still me. I know. Wow. I love looking at books and I hate the word no. Were you one of those kids who like was just knew you were destined for stardom? Or has it all been sort of like a weird thing that you never expected to happen? Everything that's happened. Well, I lived in Austin before Nashville.

I think it was my parents way of saying, all right, you could give the music industry on your own kind of a shot. And yeah, I mean, there were some really awkward times just eating a bunch of ramen noodles and trying to make some ends meet. Did you have any really weird gigs as a struggling musician? Were you like, all right, they're paying me. I'll show up. Oh, I've definitely played some very strange gigs for sure. But I guess one of the most memorable things that I've done, which it doesn't really pertain to music that much. But when I came to Nashville, I had this other friend who worked for this company who they,

they did children's birthday parties. Like you would dress up in a costume as Cinderella or Ariel and come change the lives of these birthday children and paint faces and have the best time and make it like $100 and then get out of there. And I was like, okay, hell yeah. I'll sign up for that. That sounds really wholesome and fun. So I sign up for this, this job. The first gig that I got with them was to go to this park. It was a kid's birthday party. And they requested Miley Cyrus. No, that excuse me, they requested Hannah Montana. And I was like, Okay, so they gave me this like

terrible, terrible wig. And I had to put like an outfit together that kind of looked like hannah montana i had a boom box and i had a the idea was that i'd get out of my car which was a really beat up honda element from 2006 so i get out of my green honda element i press play on the like the hannah montana theme song and i like go up to the kids at the birthday party they're not impressed at all they're like you ain't the real Hannah Montana they're like tugging at my wig I like paint a couple faces the mom pays me in change and she's like I don't know here dumps a bunch of change in a bag change she gave you like coins it was like mostly change yeah and I was like okay cool all right the next day actually I get a call from the same company and they're like all right we have another birthday party um and i was like cool and like fingers crossed it's like ariel you know

snow white or bell or something and they're like so this one it's a little different um they're looking for a french maid to deliver balloons to a birthday boy it's like an industry birthday party down at the palm restaurant downtown a A French maid to deliver balloons. How old was this boy? Do you know? I was like, thank God that I had a shred of dignity because I was like, absolutely not. And I said no, and it turned out to be a birthday party for Blake Shelton,

who later on, I would have, as I got into the Nashville industry, I probably would have known a lot of people in that room. Wow. You almost. And then. Wow. You almost... And then I quit. You should have dressed as Hannah Montana and been like, hey, I'm Hannah Montana.

I should have dressed as Blake Shelton. Before we get to the game, which I'm frankly not looking forward to because this is too much fun, I have to ask you about your Saturday Night Live appearance. Oh my goodness. For those who haven't seen it, you do one of the songs off the new album, Beautifully, of course. The lights come up, you're sitting, the lights are behind you, you're sitting cross-legged on a stool,

you've got your guitar, your guitar strap, you're playing, you're singing, and it slowly becomes apparent that you are naked. You forgot the cowboy boots. becomes apparent that you are naked. You forgot the cowboy boots, cowboy boots and a smile, just a typical Thursday evening. You know? Um, it's funny. That was one of the first gigs. I think that is the first gig maybe that I played with my band on this, in this chapter. And, uh, like, hello, here's my butt crack. Very important question. Did you put a Kleenex down on the school before you said, please say yes this this is network tv they could afford a towel we i'm not gonna answer that well casey musgraves it really is fun to talk to you but we have business to do we have asked

you here to play a game we're calling jose can you see So you sing country music. So we were wondering what you knew about country's music. That is national anthems. Answer two out of three questions about national anthems. You'll win a prize for one of our listeners, the voice of their choice on their voicemail. Bill, who is Casey Musgraves playing for? Emily Weaver of Boston, Massachusetts. All right. Ready to do this? I think so. Here's your first question. The national anthem of Costa Rica was written by its composer while in jail back in the 19th century. On what charge? Was it A, smuggling endangered sea turtles in his pants?

B, calling the president an aardvark, a word the president did not know? Or C, failing to write a national anthem? I'm going to go with B for some reason. All right. This is what got you where you are, that sense of confidence. But in fact, this time it was actually C. He failed to, what happened was the president said, you military band leader, I need a national anthem now. And the guy's like, I don't know how to write a national anthem. So the president threw him in jail and said, your one national anthem that's actually amazing anyway all right so you have still more chances this is not a problem when an australian racer won a formula one grand prix race in austria in 1977 organizers were completely surprised they couldn't find an australian national anthem to

play so the winner that australian guy was serenaded with what? A, a drunk guy playing happy birthday to you on a trumpet. B, two pit crew members trying to remember the words to waltzing Matilda and failing. Or C, the entire crowd singing a hundred bottles of beer on the wall, the whole thing. Oh my God. I hate this game. This is so much pressure. If there's no pressure, nobody cares. You have six Grammys. You get to keep them no matter what happens.

No. Come to find out. They actually revoke one each time. Every time you lose. Yes, exactly. All right. I'm going with a,

you're right. It was a, yes. Drunk guy and trumpet. Maybe it was his birthday. Who knows? All right. Maybe. Yes. Drunk guy and trumpet. Maybe it was his birthday. Who knows? All right. Maybe. Yes. All right. Last question. No anthem, say experts, is as hard to sing as the national anthem of Spain. Why? A, due to an old law, anybody who forgets a single word commits a felony and can be imprisoned. B, in order to be sung correctly, you have to drink an entire bottle of wine

during it. Or C, it has no words. It can only be hummed. Oh. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Why don't we do C? Like, maybe it's a humming thing.

Why don't we do C? It is correct. There are no words to the Spanish national anthem. So before, like, when they have a baseball game in Spain, somebody has to come out and just hum the thing at home plate. That's even more awkward. How do you do vocal theatrics while humming? I don't know. I don't know. Bill, how did Casey Musgraves do in our quiz? Casey is very smart. She got two out of three, which makes her a winner.

Yay! Very smart. She got two out of three, which makes her a winner. Yay! Somewhere inside you, a little Miss Tater Tot. Just smile. Just receive her crown. Just got her validation. Kacey Musgraves, if you want to have as much fun with her as we're having right now, she's heading out on tour for her new album, Starcrossed, starting in St. Paul, Minnesota, on January 19th.

Kacey Musgraves, thank you so much for being with us. You are a delight. The album is amazing. Thank you so much for being on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you. Thank you so much for having me. That was really fun. Bye, Casey. See you all later. When we come back, the reigning empress of Broadway, Audra McDonald, plus some brand new material we couldn't broadcast until NPR Legal got distracted by something else. We'll be back in a minute with more Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host, who likes to stand with his back to the audience because he thinks that's his good side, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. This week, we're doing everything we

can to get ready for live audiences again, both at our new home theater in Chicago and out on the road. Now, you might ask, why is it worth it to come see us perform the show live. Reason one, my hair. Reason two, my piercing eyes. I could go on and, well, I think I will. Reason three, my perfectly creased slacks. Well, in addition to all of that, we record a lot more material than we get to air. And if you come to see our shows, you get to hear all of it. You don't have to wait until we decide to take a week off and broadcast them during a clip show, like now. Christella, a man in India made news this week after he hacked into an airline's website to do what? Change the flight of a plane.

No, that would be amazing. Change the flight of a plane. What do you mean? So that it just goes up vertical forever? You're going to Indiana. I would like a hint, please. Well, you know how like people are supposed to be like really careful because so many of them look alike. Well, somebody wasn't. So we had to go fix it.

You had to go get it back. Twins. Not twins. Luggage. Yes. He found his lost luggage by hacking into the airline's website. What? So he had this flight on Indigo Airlines. That's in India. And a man named Nandan Kumar's bag wasn't on the airline's website. What? So he had this flight on Indigo Airlines.

That's in India. And a man named Nandan Kumar's bag wasn't on the carousel, but a bag that looked a lot like his was. So he figured out another passenger had taken his bag by mistake and he reported the incident to the airline. I'd like my bag back. And this is amazing. I know the airline was not helpful.

What? Mr. Kumar did the natural next step. He went to Indigo's official website. He hacked it. He quickly found the other passenger's name and phone number and contacted him and got the bag back. Also, the airline is now called Kumar Air. He has 1 billion frequent flyer miles and a lifetime supply of Stroopwafels.

Oh, yeah, because they take a photo now of your luggage and ask you, is this your luggage when you're going through security? Do they do that? Yeah. I think that might be just an international thing because they haven't done that to me and I haven't flown internationally in a while. Oh yeah, this is when I've been flying, you know, between

America and the various places I smuggle drugs. Right. Oops. Maeve, you're on the air. You are on the air. What have I done? Ireland, I mean. To get the moss and the seaweed. Ashley, according to a new study,

one in five people say the smell of what gets them in the mood for romance? Marijuana. No. Oh, gosh. They weren't asked about that, oddly enough. Not you personally. Let's see. I will...

Oh, this is... Can I get a hint? Yes. Is that gorgonzola or are you just happy to see me? K-cheese? Yes. Specifically, stinky cheese. Oh, stinky cheese.

Yes. Boring normies like chocolate and champagne for romance. But for one-fifth of the population, nothing gets them in the mood like these sweet, sour smells of a really stinky cheese. Did an angel just walk into my life barefoot? Because I think I smell feet. According to an actual professor at the University of Oxford, quote, soft blue cheese really comes into its own when getting couples in the mood for love, unquote. So turn the lights down low,

put out some cheese, then wait a month or so for it to get moldy, then text her. You up? First of all, case study of one Nagin Farsad

because I lived in Paris for a while and I had several amorous relations with French men who would conspicuously set out a bunch of cheeses before amorous relations. Really?

Did they do it because they thought it would help her that it was some way required? You're like, you're going hunt and heavy. They're like, no, wait, wait. I have to put out the cheese. Yes, for afterwards. It's like dessert. To be honest, I feel like they were putting on

like extra Frenchness because they were like, oh, I'm going to get this American girl. We're going to look at the Eiffel Tower. I'm going to put out a plate of cheese. This will be easy. Hold on. Let me take my beret off. Absolutely.

By the way, according to this study, which is apparently a real thing, smelly cheese is more erotic than lobster, which isn't surprising because everything in the world is more erotic than lobster. I know. It's like, hey, honey, why did you come over to my place and we'll boil a large insect alive? Why did these researchers compare lobster to anything? I think they were trying to test the things that are traditionally associated with a romantic meal. Right. Candles, chocolate.

Lobster. Lobster. What about a plate of spaghetti that you eat and it brings you closer to your lover? Did they rank that one? That only works with dogs. And only if one is a purebred and the other is a street smart scoundrel. is a purebred and the other is a street smart scoundrel. Bobcat coming down off their pandemic peak,

the Peloton company had to lay off almost 3,000 employees this past week. But don't worry about those employees because Peloton on the way out gave each of them what? Gave them a Peloton. No, not the bike. No, come on. Those are like 2,000 bucks. How many people did they fire? About 2,800.

And the reason? The reason is that Peloton sold a lot of bikes and a lot of subscriptions to their online service. Yeah. So now people are going outside or was it because they watch Sex and the City? Yeah, well, that may have something to do with it. you can't buy that kind of advertisement yeah everything's a crash so they're having to cut back with all that misfortune they had to lay off a lot of people and they sent those people out the door with a special gift what not the bike not the bike but the the computer no you got the equipment but in order to access the information, you need a... Friend?

I don't know. What do you need to get on this thing? Any of you other two are Peloton fans? A membership of some kind? Yes, a subscription. They gave all 2,800 fired people, to make them feel better, a year-long subscription to peloton for free as you say it's been a hard winter for them first they killed mr big then everybody realized exercising indoors sucks and why would you buy this expensive bike you can't even ride outside

so they had to do the layoffs but everybody got a one-year subscription to peloton because there's nothing any laid-off person likes more than spending hours a day staring at people still employed by the company yelling at them to work harder oh my god but seriously that's what they got you work for peloton and that's what you get when they fired it's like me getting fired and as a severance deal i got the voice of anyone i might like on this show Who would it be, though? Oh, that's a good question. Paula. It's always Paula.

Is it me or is it 80s me? Oh, I didn't realize 80s you was an option. Yeah, well, I didn't put it on the menu, but they certainly did. Can you give us a sample right now since you brought it up? Oh, sure. The difference between you now and 80s Bobcat.

Hey, I'm not home right now, so it's a good time to come over and rob the place. My heart just skipped a beat. My heart just skipped a beat. I feel so dirty. I feel so dirty.

I love it so much. Wow. In December of last year, we were able to talk to one of the brightest lights of Broadway, Audra McDonald, who was starring in HBO's new show, The Gilded Age. Peter asked her about finally reaching the stage in her career where she got to wear a bustle. Yes. When I did Ragtime, we wore bustles and corsets. And yes. And you were like, and you said to your agent, you know what I want to do? That bustle. I just love turning around and knocking things off tables behind me. Can I do that again, please? Yes. Well, the bustles and the corsets, as Christine Baranski said during filming, she yes well the bustles and the corsets as christine

baranski said during filming she was like it was covid and corsets because we were filming during well during the pandemic so yeah so it's a whole new whole new uh series there did did you ever have this makes me think of this did you ever have because i know you went to juilliard and very soon after that you were already on broadway and performing and winning Tonys. Did you have your starving actor phase? Um, yes. While I was, well, I was a starving student, um, starving actor phase, you know, while I was at Juilliard, I mean, my freshman year at Juilliard, I lived, I lived in a residential hotel on 93rd and Broadway where there was an elevator we were told not to use because

that's where the drug deals went down. So the people who also lived there, as well as some of these Juilliard students, took really good care of us, even though they were like drug users and pushers. There was a couple of prostitutes in there, but they were actually very protective of the students that were there.

It's such a smart thing to tell college students, hey, don't go where the drugs are. It's one of those things too that I didn't, because I'm from Fresno, California, and my parents were still in Fresno, and I just moved to New York when I was 18. And I didn't tell them about those days until years later. I was like, let me not, let me just think that I'm just in a practice room studying, which for the most time I was. But I didn't let them know exactly the conditions in which I was living. We were told, I'm not surprised to hear this, that you were the star of Fresno Dinner Theater and that you played just the queen of that circuit, which everybody knows. It was it's a huge circuit. It's huge. Yeah, I know.

If you've played Fresno, what else is there to do? There's Fresno and then Carnegie Hall. That's it. What kind of roles did you play as a child in the Fresno Dinner Theater? I played crazy roles. I played Ava in Evita when I was 16, which is... You played Evita when you were 16? Vita when you were 16? Yes, I did. Yeah, I, you know, I didn't know what I was doing.

I didn't really understand the ins and outs of Eva Peron, but I played her nonetheless. And when you were a 16-year-old young woman in Fresno, California, how do you process that? You know, ignorance is bliss. You know what you know, and you don't know what you don't know. Right. I mean, I had a loud voice voice and I had a lot of stage presence I have to tell you though that's when I first started learning about um when you take home your characters with you yeah and I for some reason started to take home um the character of Ava Per. And so when I was in high school, I was getting very, I was getting very snotty with my teachers that I think I was a junior in high

school and I was very snotty with them during that time. Yeah. And I think it's because I was playing Eva Peron at night. And so they'd be like, you know, where's your homework? I'm like, Oh, I didn't have time to do that. I'm Eva Peron. It's like, Audrey, would you get away from the window? There are no crowds out there. Just come back. Math class. I've got work out there. Just come back. Math class. I've got work to do.

Yeah, exactly. As a stage actor, have you ever been on stage and been like, oh, my God, I've done this a million times. I'm so bored. And then you start thinking about something else and have to find it. Has that ever happened to you? You wandered out of the whole scene and you're somewhere else? Yes, it's happened to me, but for some reason, I'm going to tell you a story about when it happened to Zoe Caldwell, who was an incredible, incredible actress, a theatrical actress. And she won four Tony Awards. And I did masterclass with

her, Terrence McNally's masterclass on Broadway in 95 and 96. And we were doing the show one night and um i set a line to her and she just sort of paused and looked at me like more of a pause than usual and then finally answered with the line but there was just a really uncomfortable sort of silence that usually wasn't there and we got off stage i said zo what happened she said darling i was thinking that i'm going to have pasta when I go home. And she was trying to decide between like red sauce or white sauce. And then she realized, oh, right. So I'm just, I'm saying that, why am I telling Zoe's story? I think because just to say that it happens to all of us at some point.

And if it happens to a great like Zoe, then I will feel less guilty about saying that. Yes, that has happened to me of us at some point. And if it happens to a great legzo, then I will feel less guilty about saying that, yes, that has happened to me too. That's amazing. I will also say this whole time I've been zoning out, I have no idea what you guys are talking about. Yeah, I know. What pasta I should have for dinner.

Well, Audra McDonald, it is an absolute honor to talk to you, but we have invited you here to play a game we're calling Hey McDonald, try a Whopper. That's right. You probably thought we were going to ask you about McDonald's restaurant, but we're not that dumb. No, we're going to ask you about Burger King.

Answer three questions about the other fast food burger place. You'll win our prize. One of our listeners, the voice of their choice on their voicemail. Bill, who is Audra McDonald playing for? Stephen Chen of Los Angeles, California. All right. Here we go. You ready for this?

I'm super ready. I know my Burger King. Okay. Okay. Okay. Well, then, let's see. All right. Burger Kings are popular worldwide.

All of them are a little different than the ones you find in the States. For example, which of these is a real Burger King you can visit abroad? A, a Burger King in Amsterdam where you can buy their pot-infused burger, the Whimper. B, a Burger King in Finland, which features a fully functioning nude sauna. And yes, you can buy your food and bring it in there. Or C, a Burger King in Hana called the burger comrade who serves the people i'm gonna go with a you're gonna go with a the burger king in amsterdam with a pot infused burger yeah because if not there should be uh it was b actually it was the burger king

oh yeah really why does anybody want to take a burger into a sauna? That's a really good point. Just for extra bacteria on the side. It's Finland. They like saunas. But it's also great because then there's grill marks on both you and- That's true. You get to match. All right.

You have two more questions. Though it may seem shocking, actor Robert Downey Jr. credits Burger King with changing his life. How? A, he wasn't sure if it was smart to take the role of Iron Man, but he went to a Burger King and decided, yes, he could have things his way. B, in 2003, he ate a burger from Burger King that was so bad that it forced him to confront all his life choices to that point, leading him to finally get sober. Or C, he applied to work at a Burger King at the age of 16, was turned down, and in the depths of his disappointment, realized he'd have to settle for acting. Oh, these are all such good answers. I'm going to say all of the above.

No, it was B. He hit bottom eating a Burger King burger. Wow. Okay. Well, I don't consider eating Burger King rock bottom. Maybe I do it a little too much. All right. Last question. Burger King. Burger King is known these days, I don't know, primarily, but still for their weirdly creepy mascot. Yes. I don't know primarily, but still for their weirdly creepy mascot. Yes. The Burger King, the guy with the mask. It's all very odd, but he is not the creepiest fast food mascot ever.

Which of these, at least in our opinion, is the KFC cannibal chicken, the Arby's meat blob or the Quiznos sponge monkey? Those are all real things. No, one of them is. Again, one of them is. Again, one of them is. A. A was the KFC cannibal chicken. I know. All right.

It's going to be, you know, I'm going to change my mind. It's C. It's C. You're going to go for the Quizno sponge monkey. You're right. Yes, it was the Quizno sponge monkey. It could have been spung monkey. We're not sure.

It was weird. It was short-lived, but it was real. It's terrible. That's terrible. So strange. That sounds like the most entry-level job at Quiznos. The Spongmonkey. Oh, yeah.

Our CEO started as a Spongmonkey. And the next thing you know. Bill, how did Audra McDonald do in her quiz? Even though she only got one right, it's impossible not to give her an award. We'll call her a winner. Audra McDonald is an Emmy, Grammy, and six-time Tony winner who will appear in HBO's The Gilded Age out next month, and she'll be back on Broadway soon. Audra McDonald, thank you so much for joining us on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you for having me. I had a ball.

Thank you so much. See you soon. Bye-bye. Bye. I had a ball. Thank you so much. See you soon. Bye-bye. Bye. When we come back, Successions. Brian Cox reveals himself to be much nicer than his character, Logan Roy, and a man who is planning to go to Mars and is not Elon Musk.

That's when we return with more Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis, and here's your host, a man People Magazine once called America's sweet potato, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. We are getting ready for a return to live performances every week, and it turns out we're rusty. For example, is stage left to the actor's left or to the audience's left? Stage left is always to my left, wherever I happen to be. Okay, that's good to know. Now, while we go over our notes, we want you to enjoy these two remarkable interviews. First, with a giant of the theater himself, Brian Cox, who people these days may recognize as patriarch Logan Roy on HBO's Succession. Brian told us how much our show meant to him, and if it's not true, then, well, nothing

is. It's a pleasure to be there. It's a program that I listened to when I first came to America many, many years ago, and I was very reassured by it. Yes, I know. Just like a little taste of the UK here, even though we're not nearly as good as the equivalent radio shows in the UK. I loved your book a lot. Thank you. It is amazing. One of the best stories, actually, i found was the story of your own first wedding which happened which happened i guess it was was it back at the theater in dundee where you grew up no no no it was a birmingham rep i was i was a birmingham rep and uh i was doing it was a time

you couldn't do it now it was a time mich the actor Michael Gambon, old old friend of mine, was playing Othello and I was playing Iago. So this is your friend Michael Gambon who we know he plays Dumbledore in the Harry Potter movies. Absolutely. And on my wedding day,

I had my wedding in the morning, I had a map of Othello in the afternoon and an evening performance of Romeo and Juliet playing Mercutio. So it turned out that most of the company got drunk, apart from me. And I was clearing everybody out, trying to get everybody to get, you know, get over to the theatre because we had a mat in it. But anyway, I moved the door. I was trying to close up.

And then behind this door was sitting Michael Gambon. And he hadn't moved and he had to get to the theatre and I had to get on there so and he was quite inebriated so anyway finally I got him to the theatre and he was busily trying to dress himself and he he kept he was putting on these trousers with suspenders and he kept peeing in them accidentally and hitting himself on the back and he thought he was being assaulted from something above but it was actually him who kept doing it i mean there's one actor who actually fell over in the first scene and remained there for the entire play because he was so drunk he was out of it they were all drunk

it was outrageous. And can I ask, how were the reviews for the wedding? The wedding reviews were quite good. I would have you tell these stories all day, but apparently you're doing this rather good television program people are very interested in. Including myself, it is astonishing and great. And you get, you get to play one of those very rare, but wonderful characters, a character who more or less gets to do whatever he wants, whenever he wants to do it, which must, I mean, which must be great. It is good. I mean, you've got to invest a bit more.

So you, cause you want a bit of comeback because it's either too easy, you know, it all goes swimmingly or what have you. So there's a sort of, you know, the thing about Logan is, and it went right back to Jesse Armstrong, who was our creator and our showrunner, I said, does Logan love his children? Because I'm not seeing much of it. And he said, no, he really loves his children. So you realize that the man doesn't express love at all, you know, and his kids are rapidly becoming a huge, massive disappointment to him. May I ask a question? And please don't censor yourself. If Logan Roy had a public radio show, what would the name of it be um it would probably be called with logan roy with logan roy um we we've heard uh that for example actors of on the sopranos

were occasionally contacted by people who either were or knew people in the mafia this show has been a sensation it says it's third season now over, I think, four years. Have you or anybody associated heard from one of the families or people? I'm thinking obviously the Murdochs or people like that. Well, I live in Primrose Hill in London, which is a lovely area of London, Regent's Park. And I was in my local cafe ordering my latte, and there was this gentleman behind me. And he was saying, well, yes, well, you know, we're liking it. We are, on the whole, liking it. I said, oh, on the whole, you're liking it? He said, oh, yes, yes, it's well done.

Well, God, it's well done. My wife finds it difficult sometimes, but really, she's liking it. I said, well, I'm glad your wife is liking it. I said, why is she finding it difficult? Oh, well, it's hard for her.. I said, well, I'm glad your wife is liking it. I said, why is she finding it difficult? Oh, well, it's hard for her. And I said, why is it hard? Well, she's Elizabeth Murdoch. And I went, oh, really? I said, ah. And then this parting remark to me was, could you be a little kinder to your daughter that is remarkable um i am having too much fun but my duty calls and it just so happens that brian cox we have asked you here

this time to play a game we're calling succession how about a suck session we're talking about vacuums i just want to get that out quickly as possible vacuums yes you're the star of hbo succession which made us realize that every time one uses a vacuum cleaner it's a suck session right well yes i suppose you could put it that way yes if you felt so we're gonna ask you we're gonna ask you three questions about vacuum cleaners answer two out of three questions correctly. You'll win a prize for one of our listeners. Bill, who is Brian Cox playing for?

Aaron Brown of Las Vegas, Nevada. All right. Here is your first question. The vacuum cleaner was invented in 1901 in London by a man named Hubert Booth. But people weren't crazy about the invention at first. Why? A, to buy one, you had to agree that anything that got vacuumed up, he got to keep. B, his vacuum was an enormous machine that he parked in the street in front of your house and he had to run

hoses through your windows to clean your apartment. Or C, he insisted on referring to the process of air-based suction cleaning as breaking wind. I think it's the middle one. I think it's the hoses. You're exactly right. It was this enormous contraption. It was portable. It was on wheels, right? Yeah. And you had to sit outside the window and you had to open the windows.

And it was difficult, especially if you went upstairs. You had to have different size hoses. You captured immediately your gift of the imagination. Apparently it frightened the horses, as they used it frightened the horses. Yes. All right. He had more challenges. Mr. Booth did such as which of these ones to test his idea of the idea of sucking dirt into a filter to trap it. He himself put a handkerchief over his mouth, sucked on an armchair and almost choked to death on the dust. over his mouth, sucked on an armchair, and almost choked to death on the dust.

B, a coven of self-described witches claimed to put a curse on him for, quote, trying to discredit the broomstick. Or C, for his entire career, he couldn't teach anyone to spell vacuum. Does it have two Cs, two U's in a row? That just doesn't sound right. Well, I'm torn. It's either that,

the vacuum, or it's the fact that he put the thing over his mouth and did it. So I have to decide one of those. I think I'll go for the thing over his mouth. That's exactly right. That's what happened. You're doing very well, as I'd expect no less from a man of your parts. But here is your third and final question. no less from a man of your parts. But here is your third and final question. The curator of the Museum of Vacuums in Rollo, Missouri, Tom Gasco and his partner were featured on a 2019 episode of StoryCorps on Morning Edition. What was the touching moment that

ended that episode? Was it A, he and his partner said to each other, you suck and you suck too. B, his partner yelled, I love you, Tom, over the sound of a vacuum cleaner, making Tom go, what? Or C, he asked his partner to vacuum up his ashes into his favorite vacuum after he dies. I'll go for C. You're exactly right again. You understood that there was a human moment there of real beauty. Bill, how did Brian Cox do on our quiz? I am shocked.

You got them all right, Brian. Thank you, Bill. Thank you. Brian Cox's new book is Putting the Rabbit in the Hat. Brian Cox, thank you so much for being on our show. Oh, it's been a delight, and thank you for asking me. It's such an honor to do Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. I've been a great admirer of it

for many, many years. You are too kind. Love it. We love many years. Oh, you are too kind. Love it. We love having you. Thank you so much, sir. A real pleasure. We'll look forward to season four. Bye-bye. Good luck. Enjoy. Bye, Brian. And finally, here's Woody Hoberg, a NASA astronaut who might well be one of the first people to return to the moon on the new Artemis missions. Peter asked him about his title and whether he had earned it yet.

So you're an astronaut, even though, and again, correct me if I'm wrong, you have not yet like gone to space. That is correct. Yes, I do have my first assignment, but I haven't flown yet. Okay, that's cool. I do have my first assignment, but I haven't flown yet. Okay, that's cool. We were looking into your background, and it seems comically appropriate for someone who was going to be an astronaut. So, for example, your hobby as a child was building giant rockets. Yes, I started with the little Estes model rocket kits that my parents bought me.

I built lots of those and then just started building bigger and bigger rockets. And yeah, after a while they were 21 feet tall with homemade electronics and all sorts of geekery. And I think it only made sense to me in hindsight that that actually did set me up well to be an astronaut. And you didn't send your application because I know many, many, many people apply. Very few get accepted. You didn't send your application in the nose of that like homemade rocket. That would have been impressive. It turns out applying is actually a surprisingly boring process. Initially, it's done on USA jobs.gov. Really? That's true. Yes. You have to go into a website to be an astronaut that is correct that

does seem a little mundane you know if you click the wrong button do you end up being like a like a you don't know like a postal worker or some other some other like boring federal job or something i always assumed it was like you get invited to a secret base like in men in black uh so let's talk about artemis this is the mission to which you are assigned. And I actually was stunned to find this out, that in fact, NASA is planning to send people to the moon in two years from now, which doesn't seem very long at my age. It's not far away at all. And in fact, Artemis 1, that'll be an uncrewed mission for Artemis 1, but it's going to go out around the moon and come back. And then Artemis 2,

the first flight with crew on board will be just a couple of years later. So before you go to the moon, I understand you're going to go up to the ISS, right? Yes. We understand that astronauts, this is another thing that we have learned from movies, that astronauts are allowed to bring when they go up to the space station, one personal item. Yes. There are some approvals. You're constrained in mass and volume on things you can bring. And for example, you can't bring anything flammable, but within some constraints, yes, you do get to bring some personal items on board. I was just thinking of an astronaut saying,

no, I wanted to bring my lucky can of gasoline. What do you mean? Right. Well, I got to say, especially after the last few years, I'm very glad that we have people of your caliber involved in our government programs. But at the same time, it's kind of tragic that what do we do with you

is we send you off the planet. But Woody Hoberg, it's really interesting to talk to you about being an astronaut, but we have in fact asked you here to play a game we're calling

Dance with These Stars. So you were going to dance with the stars, as it were, so we thought we'd ask you about Dancing With The Stars, the most successful international reality show ever. Answer two or three questions about the show, you will win a prize for one of our listeners, the voice of anyone they might choose on their voicemail. Bill, who is Woody Hobart playing for? Mary Collins of St. Louis, Missouri. So here's your first question. There are 60 different versions of the show on TV around the world, and there are some key differences between them. For example, the Argentinian version of Dancing with the Stars has what twist? A,

the only dances allowed are tango, more tango, tango, tango, tango, and too tango, too furious. B, the very popular dressing room cam segment. Or C, the strip dance. Wow. I guess I'll have to go with the tango. The only dance segments, because every of these series has different dances, and the only dances they allow in the argentinian version are tango more tango tango tango tango and to tango too furious okay i'll go with the dressing room that seems more plausible okay no in fact you talked me out of it i did talk you out of it but not enough because the real answer

is strip dance that is the thing that they do and is exactly what it sounds like so if you think the american version is too boring try to watch the argentinian one all right you still have two more chances here right we've built in redundancy like they do in the spaceship so there's no problem here next question baywatch star pamela anderson occupies a unique position in dancing with the Stars history. What is it? A, she has managed to lose the competition on three different countries' editions of the show. B, her audition tape was stolen from her home

and put on the internet. Or C, she used her Baywatch lifeguard skills to resuscitate Sean Spicer after he passed out during the tap dance segment. Okay, there's no way that it was Sean Spicer after he passed out during the tap dance segment. Okay. There's no way that it was Sean Spicer. All right. The stolen tape sounds most plausible to me. Do you know why that sounds plausible to you?

No. I mean, have you, have you, you don't know why that sounds old enough to you may. That might be true. Yeah. You think he's old enough to remember that Baywatch was a hit around the world?

Okay. Well, so it's clearly A. But you guys are just helping me with every answer. It's A. Well, mission control. Wait, wait. Yes, the answer is A. She has managed to lose on three different countries' editions of the show.

All right. Here's your last question, Woody. If you get this one right, you get to continue with your mission. Denver Broncos star Vaughn Miller was in the show in 2016. But in addition to the difficult dancing routines, Miller also had to overcome what? A, the rules against spiking his dance partner after a successful performance. B, his reflexive desire to tackle the other dancers. Or C, his own flatulence. Well, let's see. The third, I would say the third one, his own flatulence sounds most plausible. There, finally.

Yes, you nailed it. You absolutely, yes. His partner ended up charging him as a fine $100 per fart. I have no idea what the total was. Bill, how did Woody Hoberg do in our quiz? We're going to call it three straight. I mean, here's the guy going to the moon. Woody Hoberg is a NASA astronaut headed to the International Space Station

and one day the moon and maybe to infinity and beyond. Woody Hoberg, thank you so much for joining us on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. It was an honor to be with you. Thanks for having me. It was a pleasure to talk to you. Bye-bye. Take care. Bye-bye. That's it for our too-excited-to-go-back-to-live audiences to even think about doing a new show edition.

And if you want to see for yourself how rusty we are, you can find out more information about all our shows at nprpresents.org. Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions, Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord. Philip Godica writes our limericks. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Our production assistant is Sophie Hernandez-Simonevis. BJ Lederman composed our theme.

Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornbos, Lillian King, and Nancy Sachow. Our Scottish play is Peter Gwynnn technical direction is from lorna white our business and ops manager is colin miller our tour manager is shana donald our production manager is robert newhouse our senior producer is ian schillag and the executive producer wait wait don't tell me is mike danforth thanks to everybody you heard on this week's show all of our great panelists all of our fabulous fabulous guests, and of course, Mr. Bill Curtis, thanks to all of you for listening. I'm Peter Sagal, and we will see you next week from our new home at the Studebaker Theatre in downtown Chicago. This is NPR.