Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - Best of Not My Job December 2022

Episode Date: December 31, 2022

In this episode, we revisit our times with Ralph Macchio, Eleanor Holmes Norton, the hosts of the podcast "Ear Hustle" Earlonne Woods and Nigel Poor, and Matt Walsh.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. You've heard of Elf on the Shelf? Get your window ready for Bill on the Sill. I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host, who wanted to have children just so he could explain to them, too, that no, Santa just doesn't visit certain families. It's Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Thanks, everybody. Thank you so much. Yeah, we have made it to the end of another year,

our 25th year of doing this show. And over those years, yes, I know. I'm just as stunned as you are. And over all those years, we have noticed something that always seems to happen at this time of year. We all express relief that the past year is over and hope the next one will be better. Dammit, one of these years will be right. Until then, we'll remember the past year in the best possible light

by focusing on some of our favorite moments from this show, like the time we talked to a man who made it big in the 1980s playing one character and then did it again in the 2020s by playing the same character Peter began his conversation with Ralph Macchio With a confession. I want you to know in case you were bothered by people coming up to you and just immediately bring up the Karate Kid I had not seen the movie until this week. Really? So if I'd run into you, I'd be like, oh my god!

Oh my god, it's you from Crossroads! That's right, there you go. There you go. Listen, audible gasp from the... I know, I was the last one in captivity, and now there are no more people who have never seen it. How did you not see The Karate Kid?

I don't know. Did you not go to the VHS rental store, pick it out, watch it, be kind, rewind, return it, so someone else could be blessed with this film? Well, here's the thing. And I think Ralph will know what I'm talking about. So I missed it. I must have been busy the night it was out.

I'm sorry. Anyway. And by the time I was like, oh, I should see that movie, it had become so popular and suffused popular culture that I felt I had seen it. The pop culture of it all became like, you know, your snapshot into like, it's like when you see a good, when you see a trailer to a movie, and it's such a great trailer, and then you hear from someone about it, like one or two more, then you're like, I've seen the trailer, that has the best jokes, this guy just said, this guy wins at the end, eh, I don't really have to. Yeah, exactly, and then when I saw the movie, I was so surprised, it's more than 30 seconds long, and actually, my biggest surprise in the movie was Pat Narita, the wonderful actor who

plays Mr. Miyagi, was when you made the movie six years younger than I am now, which is a little terrifying. I know, I know. Believe me, there are memes of that. I can imagine. Worse for me than you. Yeah, I guess.

In fact, I wanted to ask you about that before I go back. So, let's go back to 1984. You were, and for those of you who weren't there, even I knew this, you were like huge. You were like in the cover of Tiger Beat. Yes, I was on those pinnacle, like Vogue, GQ, Tiger Beat. Yes, go on. For our younger listeners, Tiger Beat was something that was called a magazine. Yes, go on. For our younger listeners, Tiger Beat was something that was called a magazine. Yes, that's a thing you turn. They had these shiny kind of pages. My funny, here's a story.

Here's a good story. My son, my kids didn't sort of know that daddy's not like all the other dads kind of thing when they were younger. dads kind of thing when they were younger. Until he found at age, I think it was four or six, a bin that my mother kept with every single Tiger Beat 16, Teen Bop,

Baby Bop, whatever. He comes running in the house with fistfuls of these teen magazines to his older sister and says, Dad was huge and we missed it. That's amazing. And then you say, like, dad, what do you mean? You were the karate kid just like Jaden Smith?

No, not quite. That hadn't happened. That hadn't happened. Well, you know, see, that's a cute story and all, right, Ralph? But I got something I need to express to you, bro. Go ahead. Like, you're woven into the fabric of my formative years. Like, you're a hero back in the day.

I got to tell you, bro, that crane kick don't work in real life. Oh. Yo, I'm going to tell you, y'all should have put a disclaimer at the beginning and the end of the film because Jason Taylor at Cobb Middle School kicked my ass when I was trying to do that crane kick Jason Taylor didn't care

nothing about no crane kick he no wax on he waxed me that's what he did he just needed You just needed a human Yoda like my character had to help you out. No, I needed somebody to yell

cut before... Alright. I got one more question for you before we play our game, which is that among many other privileges of being the Karate Kid, you had one of the great training montage songs of all time written for you. You're the best around, right? And do you ever use that when you're out for a jog because it's yours?

Whenever you're feeling a little down, you've got to get that burst of energy. You just play that thing. I will say this much in full disclosure. This could be the first time I'm saying it out loud in front of 500 of my best friends that I can't see. In recent times on the Long Island Expressway when I am cooking, it's like, I'm cranking that mofo. I love it. Can you imagine? Can you imagine pulling up next to Ralph

Macchio? And you hear the song, and you turn your head, and there's Ralph Macchio like banging on the steering wheel, singing along. Just belting it out. Oh, man. When I have to do it, I've got to call you guys

when I'm driving the Ford. No, you've got to do the thing where people put their phones and film themselves from the dashboard doing it. Just rock it out to you're the best. One of these days. Maybe when Cobra Kai comes in for a landing, that'll be my victory. That'll be awesome.

Well, Ralph, it is so great to talk to you, but we have asked you here to play a game we're calling Wax On Wax Off. Yeah! Your character learned karate, famously, by waxing Mr. Miyagi's cars, so we thought we'd ask about a different use for wax hair removal. Answer two to three questions about the job we just learned is called an esthetician,

and you'll win our prize for one of our listeners. Bill, who is Ralph Macchio playing for? Ryan Hill of Orlando, Florida. All right. Here is your first question. One of the most memorable waxings ever, of course, is Steve Carell's chest waxing scene in the movie The 40-Year-Old Virgin. The scene had a visceral impact on viewers. How did they make it so realistic? A, they applied mild electric shocks to Corral every time they pulled off the fake hair

Be every time the waxer pulled off the fakes hair the sound effects editor put in the sound of velcro being pulled apart Or see it wasn't fake hair. They really ripped Steve Carell's chest hair out on camera The audience The audience feels like it's B No, no, no, no, the audience feels like it's C Yeah, I feel like it's C too Because I think I've heard Gail tell the story There you are

It is C Yeah, they did it for real They did it for real, it's one take Because you can't wait to grow the hair back for take two. All right. With so many licensed waxers out there, it is important for salons to get their names out there in front of the public. But one waxer in Australia faced controversy after posting promotional photos of them doing what?

A, giving a bikini wax to a real crocodile. B, wearing used wax strips like a beard. Or C, waxing the feet of a hobbit. People are shouting C again, but this time I think they're just messing with it. I think it's B. You think wearing the used wax strips like a beard.

No, actually it was A. He had pictured himself waxing an actual crocodile, which we did not know had body hair. But you said bikini wax a crocodile. Yeah, they don't have crutches. They don't have bikinis. Yes, but crocodiles all wear one pieces. We all know this.

You bring me one crocodile bikini, and I'll... All right, well, nonetheless, nonetheless, well, this is very exciting because as we all know from the movie, you do your best when you're down to the last chance, right? Okay. Don't use that damn crane kick, though. Keep your hands in front of your face. Exactly. Keep your hands in front.

All right, here's your last question. Exactly. The hands in front. All right, here's your last question. Millions of people get waxed because they like the way it makes them look, but the prevalence of waxing around, well, the world has had an unexpected benefit. What? A, the average pair of underwear now lasts six months longer. B, it lowered the retail price of Crayola crayons.

More wax available. Or C, it's officially made price of Crayola crayons, more wax available. Or C, it's officially made crab lice an endangered species. Oh, snap. I'm leaning. That's because you're only standing on one leg again Isn't it? I just love the crab lice one I just love it I love the extinction of crab lice

Wouldn't Mr. Miyagi tell you to trust your heart? Yeah Follow your heart Yeah I know I'm going with C You're right that's what happened Follow your heart. Yeah, I know. I'm going with C. You're right. That's what happened.

And I got to tell you, I did not believe this myself when I first heard it, but I looked it up and there has been, in fact, an academic paper proving that these parasitic animals who like to live in human body hair have becoming endangered

because there's less body hair for them to live in. It's true. Bill, how did Ralph Macchio do on our quiz? Ralph has won the tournament with two out of three. That's a win, Ralph. Ralph Macchio stars in Cobra Kai on Netflix. You can preorder his memoir, Waxing On, right now. Ralph Macchio, what a joy to talk to

you. Thank you so much for joining us on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thanks, Ralph. Had a great time. When we come back, yet another reason never, ever to have children, and Representative Eleanor Holmes Norton explains why we should never call her that. We'll be back in a minute with more Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host at the Studebaker Theater in the Fine Arts Building in downtown Chicago. It's Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Thank you, everybody. You're awesome. Oh, that Christmas spirit. It's great. So, another year is almost in the books, and we've pulled out our yellow highlighter to show off the good parts. For example, in 2020, we had to postpone our show at the Fox Theater in Atlanta

because the pandemic had just begun. But after a short delay of only two years, we finally got to put on our show there. Here's Faith Saley, Joel Kim Booster, and Hari Kondabolu with guest scorekeeper Chioki Ianson. It's time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff the Listener Game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game in the air. Hi, you are on

Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. This is Ted Slodovich from, drumroll, Atlanta, Georgia. Hey! And what do you do here in the beautiful city of Atlanta? I'm happily retired for just four years, and for the past year I've been a volunteer production manager for the Atlanta Philharmonic.

Oh, wow. The Atlanta Philharmonic. That's great, the Philharmonic in Atlanta. Classy. Yes. Now, are you a musician yourself? I play, I'm classically trained on saxophone, so there's not much call for that in an orchestra.

And that's a damn shame. I know. More saxophone in classical music. Come on. Make classical music sexier. Right? Well, Ted, welcome to the show. You're going to play our game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction.

Joki, what is Ted's topic? What I didn't expect when I was expecting. Now, certain parental challenges you just know are coming. Diapers, tantrums of the terrible twos, the living in your basement of the terrible forty-twos. But this week we heard about a totally unexpected problem a parent is facing. Our panelists are going to tell you about that challenge. Pick the one who's telling the truth. You'll win our prize. The wait waiter of your choice and your voicemail. Ready to do this? Can't wait. All right. First, let's hear from Hari Kandabulu. Jerry Robinson sits in his jail cell in upstate New York awaiting his trial for a variety

of white collar crimes. However, it's not his poor choices he obsesses over, but his three-year-old son George's photographic memory. George is one of those very rare children that can remember everything since the moment of their birth. He remembers such details as doctors urging his mom to push and his father throwing up and passing out. During the pandemic, Jerry made a lot of business calls with his baby boy in his lap, calls that George later relayed to investigators. His descriptions were verbatim, almost. For example, Daddy said embezzlement is only a crime if you get caught. Prosecutors say the kid wasn't a pushover,

and getting him to talk cost him three packs of Reese's peanut butter cups, but only the ones with actual Reese's pieces inside the peanut butter. Everyone agreed he was the cutest rat they'd ever worked with. A child with photographic memory drops a dime on his embezzling father. Your next story of a child challenge comes from Faith Saley. Your next story of a child challenge comes from Faith Saley. Today's parents focus a lot on early literacy, but a surprising study in the Journal of Excessive Parenting shows that too much pressure from impatient moms and dads

to turn their children into bookworms can lead kids to become overly obsessed with grammar. We may be raising a generation of not quite grammar Nazis, but grammar Hitler youth. Take seven-year-old Gerund Gulden Gibbs, a grammar martinet, which his parents chalk up to his freakishly advanced reading. When all the other kids were into

don't let the pigeon drive the bus, we pointed Gerund toward Henry James and talked to him about semicolons, his mom Eric Golden says. Yet she confesses that she and her wife had no idea their son's name is a grammar term. We just thought Jaron sounded cool between you and I, she admits. Between you and me, mom. Jaron adds as he slaps his forehead. Jaron's parents are embarrassed they've accidentally created an impeccable grammar monster and have been trying to teach him to end his sentences with prepositions so he'll have more kids to be friends with. Too much pressure to read could lead to grammar-obsessed kids like little Gerund.

Your last story of a parenting problem comes from Joel Kim Booster. While most new parents are preoccupied with all the normal business of raising a child, potty training, diaper changing, and various other bathroom-related activities, one Georgia mom is among the hundreds of parents who are dealing with their child's genetically uncomable hair. Lachlan Samples, a one-year-old from Atlanta, Georgia, is one of only hundreds of cases of uncomable hair syndrome ever reported. It turns out he doesn't just have the look of Phil Spector, it's a literal genetic condition that makes the hair on young children literally uncomable. Lachlan's mother, Caitlin, describes his hair as having the look

and feel of a dandelion, or that one lamp from Ikea that looks like a dandelion. Caitlin first heard of uncombable hair syndrome when somebody messaged her about it on Instagram. I went into a tailspin, Caitlin said, of her initial reaction to the DM, something anyone who's ever received an

unsolicited message from a stranger on the internet can relate to. But after finding her son a specialist who could confirm the diagnosis, Caitlin was reassured. The condition is very real but is harmless and usually ends by adolescence when every other problem starts. All right, so here are your choices. Which of these is a potential challenge of child raising

that, well, we hadn't heard about until this week? Was it from Hari Kandabulu, how a child could have photographic memory and thereby, you know, turn you into the feds? Or from Faith Saley, how too much pressure to read can turn your child into a little grammar martinet? Or from Joel Kim Booster, the nightmare of uncombable hair syndrome? Which of these is the real story? I think I'm going to go with my fellow Georgian faith with the grammar obsession. So you're going to go with a faith story

about a child named Gerund? Something's telling me you're trying to change my mind. Who, me? Why would I do that? I always do this. I'm strictly neutral. Okay, I will change my answer to uncumable hair syndrome. What does the audience think? Well, the audience thinks.

I have no opinion that I can care to share. But the audience thinks you've made a correct choice. So if you're going to go with that, you're going to go with that? Yes. All right. Well, we actually spoke to the parent of the child in question. I posted a photo of him to my Instagram story and a stranger DMed me and was like, has your son been diagnosed with uncombable hair syndrome?

There you go. That was Kate Samples, the mother of, and this is his actual name, Locke Samples. That's his name, the boy with uncomable hair syndrome. Congratulations. You did get it right. You earned a point. The Joel Kim Booster, just for telling the truth, you've won our prize. The voice of your choice on your voicemail. Thank you so much for playing with us today. Thank you very much.

I appreciate it. It's great. Thanks for calling. All right. Bye-bye. In August of this last year, we made good on another date that we had to postpone a bit, and we went down to Washington, D.C. to do our show at Wolf Trap. Our guest was Eleanor Holmes Norton, who for more than 30 years has served as the congresswoman from Washington, D.C.

Peter, ask her why she does not like to be called Washington's representative in Congress. You don't like to be called the representative. You can be called the representative when we get statehood. Right. And you're getting somewhere. You're getting somewhere. Yeah. Now, Willie, you think that this actually might happen? Well, it's passed the House twice. I know. You think that this actually might happen? Well, it's passed the House twice. I know.

We've had a hearing in the Senate. Right. We have another one coming up. We're getting there. You are looking at who will be the governor or is it the senator from the 51st state of the United States. Judging from the way people react to you around here, you could be both either. You could alternate whatever you want. You could be El Presidente.

They'll give you whatever you need, I think. So why do you think that it will finally happen? And why don't you tell me your argument for Washington, D.C. statehood? We have more residents than two states or already states. Right. I think it's Vermont and Wyoming. Vermont and Wyoming. I think so. Well, it just so happens that Tom here is a Vermont resident. Tom, would you be willing

to swap? I won't ask you to do that. We'll just join Canada. That'd be great. You realize that, you know, we have such a nice flag right now with the 50 stars on the great. You realize that, you know, we have such a nice flag right now with the 50 stars on the ring. I like that.

But have you, I mean, we're going to have to get rid of a state just to keep the flag. Well, you know, we have a place, we have a flag here in the District of Columbia with 51 stars. Really? Okay. You won't be able to tell it, but it exists. Okay. It's there. It's there. How have you...

We've actually flown it on flagpoles. It's the statehood equivalent of like a middle finger right up there. How have you... I mean, it's been so long and you've been trying this for so long. How do you keep up your hopes in this fight for statehood? Well, the way I keep up my hopes is the progress we're making. Look, when you get it through the House twice and you're doing so well in the Senate, When you get it through the House twice and you're doing so well in the Senate, that's enough to keep up your hopes and nothing else. How do you deal with the Republicans who are so opposed? Do you try to kill them with kindness or do you just try to kill them? No.

Neither one will do, but... We are told that one of the things you are famous for, in addition to your fierce advocacy for Washington and other causes, is your dancing. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You, you, there are a lot of videos, people can Google it, of like Eleanor Holmes Norton dancing. Has this always been a part of your career?

You've always done that? Oh, yeah. Yeah. I'm a native Washingtonian who loved dancing in D.C. Yeah. And that's native Washingtonian who up dancing in D.C. Yeah. And that's my thing. Really?

Do you? And Congresswoman, you said that you've been dancing all your life here in D.C. And I understand that you all just made a designation of Chuck Brown Day. Oh, yeah. All right. Yeah, yeah. For people who are not from, who are either not from D.C. or boring middle-aged white guys, who is that?

Oh, Peter. I'm sorry. Peter, you might as well be sucking beer through a hot dog right now Okay Do you know go go I know that go go is a thing from Washington yeah, and it's not the boot It's it's it's music right yeah that you can't help but dance And I bet I could help Tom and I are willing to take that bet you know what? It's music that you can't help but dance to. Right. I bet I can help.

Yeah, I was about to say. Tom and I are willing to take that bet. You know what? Now that I said that, I retract my last statement. Have you seen my shovel? Yes, I have. Well, Chuck Brown is the king of go-go music. Right.

And Chuck Brown Day is coming up here in the district. How will you celebrate Chuck Brown Day? Oh, you go, you know, he stood on the Capitol steps and got everybody to dancing. And we kind of celebrated that way. Cool. I'm going to ask you one last question before we play our game. Let's say, and I hope it's true just for the good people of Washington to become fully

enfranchised Americans like the rest of us, that it happens and Washington becomes the 51st or 52nd, who cares, state. How will you, Eleanor Holmes Norton, celebrate that day? Well, with go-go music. There you go. Well, Congresswoman Norton, it is an absolute honor to have you with us. And we have some work to do. We have asked you here to play a game we're calling...

Welcome to the DC Universe. So, you of course have represented Washington, DC for decades. But the question is, what do you know about DC Comics? For non-nerds, DC Comics is, you know, Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, those people. Answer three questions about the costumed heroes of DC who will win our prize for one of our listeners, the voice of their choice in their voicemail.

Are you ready to play? No. No. I like it this way. That's a very good answer. Okay. All right. Bill, who is Congresswoman Norton playing for?

Andrew Yonkman of Herndon, Virginia. Here's your first question. While primarily known for, like I said, Batman, Superman, DC Comics also has a stable of lesser-known superheroes, including which of these? One of these is a real superhero who appeared in a DC comic. A, the human torch but British, who was a walking flashlight. B, interrupting man who had the power to show up anywhere, anytime when someone else is speaking. Or C, dog welder who, true to his his name would weld dogs to bad guys' faces?

I think, I think, this is, I'm just, this is a guess. I don't know. I'm guessing it's not B because every man is interrupting man. My first instinct is to say none of those. Right. One of them genuinely is. One? You think A, you think the Human Torch for British, because that's what they call flashlights. He's just a flashlight. That's your choice? I'll take that choice. All right. No, it was Dog Welder.

What? Honest to gosh, what? And just to be clear, he was a good guy. All right, you still have two chances here. Here's your next question. You have two more chances. In the late 60s, DC Comics was owned by

the company that would eventually spin it off and become Time Warner, which owns it now. But at the time of that buyout, the company was mostly focused on what other business? A, selling fake x-ray glasses, B, running very large parking lots across the country, or C, performing contract undercover operatives for the U.S. military? A comic book company, but they had another business. What was that other business? God knows.

I'll just take B. You're right, it was B. That explains such famous late 60s storylines as Superman versus the unlicensed towing company. All right, third question. If you get this right, you win. DC superheroes get their powers from a lot of sources. Superman, for example, he gets his power from the sun. The villain Snowflame, Snowflame, gets his powers from where? Eating

gasoline-soaked snowballs, B, doing cocaine, or C, just believing in himself, gosh darn it. B. They like B. B? B, you're right, it's cocaine. Yes! You know, Congresswoman, you know, Congresswoman, this says a lot about your constituency right here. They knew that answer right away. They really did.

Bill, how did Congresswoman Eleanor Holmgren... Two out of three, she is a dancing queen. You are. Eleanor Holmes Norton, since 1991, has been the Congresswoman for Washington, D.C. and the House of Representatives, and if there is any justice in this world, someday she will get a vote on the floor there. Congresswoman, thank you so much for joining us on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. When we come back, the hosts of the great prison podcast, Ear Hustle, talk about life on the outside. And actor Matt Walsh tells us that his show Veep was funny because it was true. That's when we come back with more Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host at the Studebaker Theater in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

Thank you, Bill. Thanks, everybody. So the year 2022 has asked us to review it one more time in the hope that we will raise its grade. And sure enough, we found some things that deserve extra credit. For example, last May, when we went to San Francisco and interviewed the hosts of the podcast Ear Hustle. It's a collaboration between an artist, Nigel Poore, and a one-time prisoner at San Quentin, Erlon Woods. Erlon was released in 2018, and when they joined us on stage, Peter asked them how their collaboration began. I started going down into the media lab after I stopped teaching. I wanted to do some more projects down there, and I met him. He volunteered down there as well, and he was the

quietest guy in the room, and I thought, hmm, that's interesting's interesting this guy doesn't talk I bet he'd be great but neither of you had ever done a podcast before he didn't know what a podcast was right it was interesting I thought we was just gonna be talking but it was way more yeah I know you said oh this is gonna be easy definitely I thought it was I mean listening to snap judgment I was like oh yeah that's easy and the great thingustle, for those who haven't heard it, is usually when people read or write things about prisons, it's about unjustly sentenced people or our carceral system, large themes. You guys intentionally didn't go there. Yes. We really

wanted to tell stories about everyday life and things that people who are not incarcerated could relate to. So what was in the first episode? Oh, how to find a cellie. So how do you find a roommate? Do you get to choose your roommate in prison? Not all the time, no. But when you do, you want to have that answer ready. Can you choose somebody who's not in yet?

Because I got some ideas. Erlon, was there something about prison life, a particular episode maybe, that was most surprising to people who don't know anything about prisons, like me and most of your listeners? The thing that just blew everybody's mind. Probably, I would think the fishing expedition. What does that mean?

Talking about how you can deliver a burrito from one floor to the next using the toilet system. Yeah, that was bad. You can't just say that and not explain. I mean, I'm familiar with a burrito delivery system

involving a toilet, but that's the... The outcome. Yeah, no, this is before. This is called fishing. Fishing. I think Jesse Vasquez explained that one. Yes, Jesse Vasquez told us how you could... You said you have to get all the water out of the toilet first, which you said you do by...

Squatting. Squatting back and forth on the toilet. Getting all the water to... Wait a minute, so you squat back and forth on the toilet. Getting all the water to... Wait a minute. So you squat back and forth on the toilet. Up and down. Up and down. So you create suction. Exactly. So your butt is a plunger. Right. Exactly. Your body is a plunger.

Your body is a plunger. That was John Mayer's first draft of that song. And he proved it. So then you have the water out of the toilet. Now what? So now your mission is to flush something. Once you clean it out, you're going to clean it out.

Oh yeah, well we don't really expect that. That goes without saying. You're not going to clean the pipes. You're going to clean the toilet. I thought you took the sheet and the sheet went through and cleaned. In theory. In theory. That's what you took the sheet, and the sheet went through and cleaned the... In theory. Okay, in theory.

That's what you told the guy you were sending the burrito to. He said, well, of course I cleaned this with the sheet. This is a good plot for the next Mission Impossible. Exactly. I got to ask, that's a lot of effort to get somebody a burrito. Why was it so important that you get that person the burrito? Well, it wasn't me that was doing it, but from the story, I think dude was hungry. There was an administrative segregation.

I'm guessing he's never had prison food. Wow, it's worse than a burrito that's been through a toilet. That's exactly right. It's so bad, you'd rather have... But isn't there a chance that you get the water out, and you're like, here we go, and then somebody next door flushes, and you're like, here we go, and then somebody next door flushes?

Yes. And you're like, ah, it's the system. Everybody work together. Oh, okay. Everybody's trying to get on that highway. It's like Chipotle. It's kind of like Chipotle. Everyone's got their section.

Well, Nigel and Erlon, we have asked you here to play a game we're calling... Ride'em Cowboy. You are the hosts of Ear Hustle, so we thought we'd ask you about the Steer Hustle, which is what we call rodeo. Ooh, horse stuff. If you answer two or three questions about the world of professional rodeo correctly, you will win a prize for one of our listeners. Bill, who are our guests

playing for? Michaela Wilson of Redwood City, California. Okay, okay. Here's your first question. The rodeo is exciting to watch. It's also dangerous. At the Range Days Rodeo in Rapid City, a drunk fan who jumped the fence to run around

the arena was lucky to escape serious injury after a collision with a 275-pound what? A, bull, B, goat, or C, rodeo clown? I love goats, but... Yimmy, yimmy. Yimmy, yimmy. Don't you think it's... What's that?

That's a goat sound. That's the sound a goat makes. I know you've been inside a long time. That's not what a goat sounds like. Hey, that's what it sounded like in my neighborhood growing up. Street goat. Street goat. Good goat.

Those are the hard streets of South Central. That's what the goats say. Yiminy, yiminy. I'm poking too much. But you said 200 pounds? I said 275 pounds. It's going to be a clown. I'm going to say C.

You say clown. It was the rodeo clown. That's right. Yes, yes, yes. This famous rodeo clown named Justin Rumpshaker Rumper just leveled the guy. I mean, seriously, these guys are used to dealing with bulls, so a guy is not a problem. All right, here's your next question. Like all sporting events, rodeos have good years and bad years.

A 2011 rodeo in Utah is particularly memorable. For what reason? A, all of the bulls could sense there was a huge thunderstorm coming, so instead of bucking, they all just sat down and refused to move. B. One of the horses bucked a rider off its back and then immediately gave birth to a foal in the middle of the arena. Or C. Due to an outbreak of horse herpes, all of the riders were forced to use toy stick ponies instead of the horse. It's Utah, so probably no herpes. A. A? Erlon. A. A?

Everyone thinks A. Bulls don't sit. Well, they do. You never heard a bull sit before? I must say. I think I missed her. Everybody knows this. The bulls sit down, and they just sit there quietly going,

yibbity, yibbity, yibbity. I'm going to say B, but if you want to go for A. I'll go A. The answer is, in fact, C. What? All the horses were out. They couldn't use the horses, so they just said here, and they got those stick hobby horses. Alright, you have one

right with one to go if you get this, you win. Okay, pressure. Steer roping, bull riding, mainstays of your rodeo, but they're not the only ones. Which of these is a real event at the Angola Prison Rodeo? A, the bull kissing booth, where whoever sneaks the most kisses on a rampaging bull's lips wins. B, the rider spelling. B, where if you spell a word wrong, you get lassoed offstage. Or C, a game where four men sit at a table playing poker, and then an angry bull is released,

and the last man to flee the table wins. I think it's C. I'm going to go with C. You're going to go with C. That sounds right to you. Yes. That is correct. And because it is a prison rodeo, it is called convict poker. You've got to be quick with the poker face.

You do. There's a bull coming. You've got to be like... I don't know why all my cards are red. Bill, how did Nigel and Erlon do in our quiz? Two out of three, you won this game. Wow. Nigel Pore and Erlon Woods are the hosts of Radiotopia's Ear Hustle, their new book.

This is Ear Hustle. It's out now. It's really quite something. I recommend it both. Nigel and Erlon, thank you so much for joining us. Thank you. Pleasure to see you. Enjoyel and Erlon, thank you so much for joining us. Thank you. Enjoy your success. By God, you earned it. Thank you.

Finally, back in June, we were joined by one of our hometown heroes. Matt Walsh is a Chicago improviser and comedian who's best known for playing one of Selina Meyer's aides in the HBO comedy Veep. Peter asked Matt about the Chicago comedy Troupe that brought him to fame. Yes, sir.

Upright Citizens Brigade was a group that we... Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, we started here in Chicago and did crazy shows and decided to take a chance and move to New York with our prop, you know, our little chest of props and try to get a show on Comedy Central. Did you guys have a style that distinguished you from the other 40,000 people doing sketch

comedy in Chicago at the time? Yeah, we would. We would prank reality. So we would do sketches where you would see these characters and then we would take those characters and provoke nice, kind people on the streets of Chicago with those characters. Did anybody ever react negatively to being pranked by you amusing people? Well, we had one thing where our friend Horatio got arrested because it was too disruptive and we were holding torches in the middle of the street.

And just sort of like staging a fake car accident where our friend would drive a car and we would roll over it things like that right right right i imagine i'm guessing you can tell me if i'm wrong do you get recognized you're wrong usually people wait i'm sorry um that you get most recognized for your role in veep veep is currently the thing i got recognized most for oftentimes it was, thank you, please, yeah. So you did Veep, and what we have heard consistently from anybody who's been involved in Washington is that that, not the West Wing, is the most accurate version of life in D.C. Was that your experience? It's true, yeah, we heard that a lot.

It was sort of a workplace comedy, and it was completely relatable because so many people in Washington aren't the person. They're not the congressman, they're not the judge, they're not the head of the department. And then both sides, whether they're Republican or Democrat, always felt like you were making fun of the other party. Right. Because we never mentioned, yeah, it's true, you never mentioned it. And I remember the first time we aired an episode of Veep in front of a DC crowd, it was the pilot. The biggest laugh was when Tony Hale, as they're doing a greeting line, Tony Hale whispers in Julia Dreyfuss' ear as a man and a young woman come forward to greet her.

She says, wife, not daughter. Wife, not daughter. Huge laugh. Right. Total recognition. Yes. Completely true. Yes.

Always happening in D.C. Did you, your other, in addition to improv, your other big enthusiasm is Chicago sports. Yes. Right. I love Chicago Bears. Big time. Thank you. I don't know why.

Yeah. It's a lot of disappointment, which a lot of things sports loyalties are. There's a lot of sad teams. It of think sports loyalties are there's a lot of sad team It's better than being a Detroit Lions fan That's true they have they have nothing to look back on Matt Stafford left that city and won a Super Bowl I mean Wow, but if you're a Lions fan, yeah, but if you're a Lions are you a line? No, but I'm just saying if you are, you go in with no hope. So there's no disappointment.

Like you. I guess you're never teased into thinking, oh, this could be the year. Right. You're never thinking like, oh, they're going to be great this year. You're like, no, we'll see what goes wrong. That's sort of how I approach dating. But it must be so painful. Just every year, painful, painful painful just watching no victories or losing in

the last second like that are we talking about yeah i was about to say no i was talking about the dating i understand yeah i was we heard well matt walsh it is great talking to you but we've asked you here to play a game we're calling the giants win the stanley cup the giants win the stanley cup you are a sports fan, as we have established. That means you must watch and listen to a lot of sports broadcasting. So you know that a lot of times when there's time to fill, things get weird. So we're going to ask you two out of three questions about some mistakes in sports broadcasting. Two out of three, right?

You will win our prize, the voice of anyone they choose for their voicemail. That's for, of course, one of our listeners. Bill, who is Matt Walsh playing for? Evelyn Williams of Boston, Massachusetts. All right. Evelyn, I got you. I got you, Evelyn, I got you. All right, here we go. British sports announcer David Coleman has said so many ridiculous things on air that British people call announcer bloopers generically Coleman balls. Which of these did he actually say while covering a cycling race? A, it's amazing how those skinny little tubes manage to hold all the gasoline they need. B, the front wheel crosses the finish line closely followed by the back wheel. crosses the finish line closely followed by the back wheel.

Or C, as everyone knows, the buy-in bicycle refers to how fast they go by. I'm going to go the front wheel, back wheel, the second one. That's right. That's what he said. There are many of them. Another one from when he was doing a soccer match. If that had gone in, it would have been a goal.

This guy sounds like a delight. He must be. Next question. That's amazing. Depending on who you ask, Joe Buck is either the most beloved or most hated play-by-play announcer. His talent is so renowned as an announcer, he has had to ask people to please stop doing what? A, telling him to embrace his natural hair loss. B, using his name as a substitute for a well-known profanity as in

go buck yourself. Or C, please stop sending him sex tapes to record play-by-play commentary for. I don't hate Joe Buck, so I can't relate to this one, but I'll go the sex tape one. You're right. That's true. What? Now you have sympathy for Joe Buck. I also do not hate Joe Buck. What? Yeah.

But I'm just trying to think about the people who make a sex tape. That's fine. Whatever they want to do. And then look at it, and they'll go, you know what this could use? The dulcet tones of Joe Buck. Trying to build up some tension, resolving it, congratulating us. I wonder if it's effective.

And he'd have to talk fast. That's true. He could say, it would be amusing if he could say things like, the front wheel is followed closely by the back wheel. All right, you're doing very well here, Matt. Here's your last question. Stop it, stop it. As you may yourself have found out in your long career of fandom,

the press boxes in stadiums are not always the best seats in the house. In fact, at Shea Stadium, the press box was so cramped that which of these things happens to beloved Cubs radio analyst Ron Santo? A, he had to remove his artificial leg to fit inside. B, when he stood up for the national anthem, his toupee caught fire on an overhead space heater. Oh. Or C, he had to swap in and out with a play-by-play guy because there wasn't room for both of them at the same time.

I'm going to say A, the leg. The leg. Boo. Boo? Whoa. I'm going to guess the boo was because you got it wrong. All right. So let's just go over the choices. Was it A, he had to remove his leg to fit leg. Boo. Boo. Whoa. I'm going to guess the boo was because you got it wrong.

All right. So let's just go over the choices. Was it A, he had to remove his artificial leg to fit inside? B, when he stood up for the national anthem, his toupee caught fire because of the low space heater? Whoa. Oh. The crowd likes the toupee. All right.

I'm going to go with America, Peter. I'm going to say America knows Ron Sano. We're going to say B. You're right. That's what happened. They're right. Bill, how did Matt Walsh do in our quiz? Matt Walsh, three out of three.

What a champion. Whoa. Chicago's own Matt Walsh. Thank you so much for joining us on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. You were the best. Thank you. Thank you so much. Matt Walsh, everybody.

That's it for part one of our year-end review. We'll see you all again in 2023. But until then, Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions, Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord, Philip Godeka, Rights Out Limericks.

Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Our tour manager is Shane O'Donnell. Thanks to the staff and crew at the Studebaker Theatre in downtown Chicago. BJ Lederman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornbos, and Lillian King. Our production assistant is Sophie Hernandez, Simya Nevis. Special thanks to Vinnie Thomas and Monica Hickey.

Peter Gwynn is our rose-colored glasses. Our intern is Vaishnavi Naidoo. Technical direction is from Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chilock. And the executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Mike Danforth.

Thanks to everybody you heard on this show, all of the panelists, all of our special guests. Of course, Bill Curtis. Thanks to our fabulous audience here at the Studebaker Theatre. You guys are the best. Thanks to all of you at home for listening. I'm Peter Sagal.

We'll be back next week. This is NPR.