Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - Best of WWDTM August 2020

Episode Date: August 22, 2020

We featured interviews with Will Arnett, Samantha Bee, Karamo Brown, and Barry Sonnenfeld.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. Need someone to put lotion on your back? Let me be your cabana, Bill. I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host who managed to fit his new stand-up paddleboard into his bathtub, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. We took last week off to relax and try to get over everything that's happened this year, but one week did not do the trick.

So once again, we're trying to slow down our heart rates by listening to highlights from past shows. It's like meditation, but with poop jokes. Let's start with an interview we did with actor Will Arnett back at the end of February, right before everything shut down. Now, the strange noises you hear in the background are what we used to call laughter and applause. Will Arnett, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Oh, thank you.

Thank you. It's such a pleasure to talk to you. I cannot count all the things that you've done that I've so much loved, going back to 30 Rock and a lot of other things. But me ask you do you think that my characterization of your typical role was correct you tend to play people who are not that pleasant well yeah you know it's a lot better than some people describe it as that I play a-holes and I I tend to see them as just broken people I find characters who are A, quite stupid

and B, quite confident to be really funny to me. And then if they have some, usually I like to think that they have some underlying major sort of psychosis happening, something that's driving them to be this way. That's how I kind of justify it. Right, so they're mean and sometimes abusive to the people around them, but they're hurting inside. driving them to be this way. That's how I kind of justify it. Right. So they're mean and sometimes abusive

to the people around them, but they're hurting inside. Sure. Yeah, yeah, to hell with that. Anyway, they're jerks. I once read that you didn't intend to end up in comedy as much as you have, that you were going to be a serious actor.

Yeah. That was my hope, that I would end up as a serious actor. Yeah, that was my hope, that I would end up as a serious actor. I wanted people to take me really seriously, and anyway, that didn't happen, but it's still to this day, but you know, it's fine. It's fine.

You just finished season six of BoJack, which is about a washed-up Hollywood actor who's also a horse. When you first got this script, did you have to be convinced, or did you love it right away? You know, it was one of those, I remember when I was first sent to me, they didn't really say anything. They just said, read this really funny script. And the first page page I remember thinking what and then but then it was so funny you know we we made this um it was such a it was undeniably funny

and great and of course as you remember that first season especially the first episode wasn't as heavy but you could see that there were kind of undertones there of something else going on. This guy who had a lot of self-loathing, et cetera, et cetera. And I'm like, oh yeah, this is my kind of guy. And I just thought, yeah, this is terrific. Yeah, it was really, and it's been quite a journey

because this very broad comedy, as you say, ended up being this very dark and sometimes very serious and moving exploration of like this guy's serious problems. Yeah. Which is weird because he's still a horse. Yes. I always say, considering that he's a horse,

it's one of the most human stories I've been a part of. It is kind of weird. Are you going to miss BoJack now that you're done with him? Yes and no. Are you going to miss BoJack now that you're done with him? Yes and no. In that, yes, it's been such a great thing to be a part of. No in the sense that, you know, it's quite heavy and kind of often quite depressing.

Yes. It is the most depressing cartoon ever made. It might well be. Well, you wanted people to take you seriously. I know. Well, you wanted people to take you seriously. I know. Well, I got it. And then many times we'd finish recording and I'd look through the glass

at Raphael Bob Blacksburg and I'd say, you are going to pay for all my therapy. This might be the show was your therapy. I want to ask you about a couple more things.

I discovered just this week Something that I should have figured out Because I've seen them dozens and dozens of times That I'm a tourist? Yeah, no Well, we did have that kind of strange connection No, that you are the voice of GMC trucks Yes

And I don't think I recognized it Because in those ads You're so sincere about how great a truck it is When I would expect you to say something like $40,000 for a pickup? Come on! I mean, that's what I'd expect. Yeah. Peter, let me

first of all say that they are a great truck. I'm sorry. I mean, they're professional grade. Yeah, I've heard that. I've heard that. Hey, Will, this is Luke Burbank. I'm a huge fan. I'm just wondering, like, if I were to see you on the street,

I would have to really stifle the urge to come up and sort of, like, yell some Joe Bluth line at you. Is there a particular line from that show that you are okay with people saying to you and one you like less? I just want to know what to do when I meet you. Well, first of all, I implore you not to frighten me. But I do get a lot of people coming up and yelling things at me.

I get people coming up and they'll say, come on, of course. I'll have people either ask me to do the chicken dance or do the chicken dance or do the chicken dance themselves on the street. I have people come up to me and look at me and kind of take a pause, look at me, and then just go, Michael. Well, Will Arnett, it is an absolute joy to talk to you. We could do it all day, but we've asked you here to play a game we're calling BoJack Meet Boat Jack. So as we've established, you've played BoJack Horseman, which made us wonder, what do you know about boat jacks?

That is, people named Jack who hang around boats. To answer two out of three questions about boat jacks, you'll win our prize for one of our listeners, Bill, who is Will Arnett playing for? Tom Marino of New York City. All right. Ready to do this? I sure am. Boy, that's a great announcer voice. I love the way Bill All right. Ready to do this? I sure am.

Boy, that's a great announcer voice. I love the way Bill says that. Isn't it amazing? Isn't it amazing? That's good. I know. I like GMC trucks. Hey, Bill, quit talking about the GMC trucks.

You're going to edge me out of my gig. All right. Here is your first question. Captain Jack Sparrow was the immensely popular hero of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies, but Johnny Depp also played that character in another vehicle. What was it? A, in a direct-to-video spinoff

called Captain Jack Will Get You High Tonight. B, he replaced the animatronic Jack Sparrow in the actual Pirates of the Caribbean ride, holding perfectly still until the boat came by, and then he freaked out the riders. Or C, he appeared in commercials for the failed vegan dessert bars called Pirates of the Carib Eating. How absurd

Okay, I'm going to say B He didn't do it for very long, but I'm going to say B You're right, that's what he did You can find video He did it back on 2017 There are Captain Jacks all over the ride And at one point, one of them started waving and talking To the tourists

And it was, in fact, Johnny Depp Alright, another famous boat jack is Sailor Jack. He is the cartoon mascot on boxes of Cracker Jack. But he hasn't only pushed that classic snack. He also once tried to get people to eat what? A, Crack Jack, a poorly thought-out version that was advertised as addictive as the real thing. Jack a poorly thought-out version that was advertised as addictive as the real thing

Be cracker jacked a performance enhancing version of the snack Or see cracker Jackson Pollock's Which you eat after sprinkling them at random on the floor? Oh, man. I'm going to have to say B again. B again. You're right. Cracker Jack had caffeine. Didn't do well.

All right, last question. Maybe the most famous boat jack was the character Jack Dawson, played by Leonardo DiCaprio in Titanic. Now, the cast of that movie endured a lot of hardships on the set, but maybe the worst was when what happened? A, as practice for a pivotal scene, DiCaprio insisted on painting every member of the crew like one of his, quote, French girls. B, an extra trying to impress James Cameron

actually drowned himself to show his commitment. Or C, the entire cast and crew was dosed with PCP, which somebody put into the chowder during a lunch on set, leading to, among many other things, a spontaneous conga line led down a hospital corridor by the cinematographer who was as high as a kite.

You know what? I'm going to say C. You're right! That's exactly what happened. Three in a row, Will. That's very good. To this day, nobody knows who spiked the chowder, but that is a true story. Wow, that's crazy. Bill, how did Will Arnett do in our quiz?

He scored the trifecta. Congratulations, Will. Will Arnett is BoJack Horseman on Netflix's BoJack Horseman. The final season is out now on Netflix. Will Arnett, thank you so much for joining us. An absolute joy to talk to you. Thank you so much. Thank you so much.

Thank you, Will. See you. Bye-bye. Also, from back in the before times of February, we challenged our panelists to conjure up a voice from the past, an even more distant past. Panelists, this week, this is all for all of you. This week, British scientists recreated what a 3,000-year-old Egyptian mummy's voice would have sounded like when he was alive. Now, before we play it for you, we're going to ask each of you to replicate the voice of a mummy. Whoever gets closest to the real thing gets a point.

We'll start with Maz, your best mummy. Okay. Oh, it's so good to be here in this pyramid. Very good. Very good. Very good. That's bad. Faith. Almighty Isis.

All right. What? And Josh. I got a thing on my nose because somebody scratched that before me. Can't lift my hands. All right. Very good. Very good.

And now here is the actual sound as recreated of an Egyptian mummy in life. Wait a minute. I know it was a little hard to take in all at once. Let's hear it again. That's it. Who knew they were Jewish? When we come back, Samantha Bee joins us from her pandemic hideout. And what do you do when things get too tense?

You Netflix and Bill. We'll be back in a minute with more Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. from NPR. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis, and here's your host, who's been trying and failing to teach his dogs to play beach volleyball, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Once again, we're remembering the way things used to be because it's much more fun than the way they are. One of the nice things about our current predicament

is all the time we have to watch TV. Back in March, we asked our panelists to choose from our menu of shows. Panel, it's time for a new game that we call Netflix and Bill. Quarantining at home is boring, but you have your family, and after about a half an hour of them,

you have TV. We're going to tell each of you about two shows that could be your next binge, but only one of them is real. Guess it, you get a point. Are you ready to play? Yeah, of course. All right, here we go. Maz, which of these is a real show

that you can find on Netflix? Is it A, a placeholder show Netflix accidentally left up featuring a man making popping sounds with his mouth called The Example Show, or B, the streaming service, footage of flowing rivers, waterfalls, and broken pipes designed to help older men pee. I'm going with the streaming service. No, you're wrong.

That would be wonderful. I could use that some days. But the answer is The Example Show. You can find it. Just Google Netflix The Example Show. You will find it. It features such riveting scenes as a man making popping sounds with his mouth, and if you turn on the subtitles, it just says, there's no

crying in baseball the whole time. Peter, as someone who lives in LA and has pitched shows to Netflix and had them pass on my shows, this is very salty. I feel very bad. You should only have gone in and made popping sounds. They love that. Oh, man.

Paula, also on Netflix, while there's no Monday Night Football right now, you can stream which of these? Is it A, Monday Night Foot, in which foot models compete in categories such as shapeliness, toenail quality, and arch height, or B, an eight-and-a-half-hour knitting competition show called National Knitting Night? I'm going to go with National Knitting Night. You're right. It's actually National Knitting Night. I'm going to go with National Knitting Night.

You're right. It's actually National Knitting Night Norway. They do love their knitting in Norway. Very good. Are you ready for some eyelets? A Sunday night knit-off. That'd be if they gave that job to Hank Williams Jr. All right, Luke.

He'd be in Danish, I guess. Luke, if you're looking for horror, which of these is a real thing you can find on Amazon? A, a curated collection of educational programming called Driver's Ed Scare Films, or B, Scare B&B, which is just footage of the worst places available on Airbnb. I would watch both of those shows. Scare B&B? No, it was actually the curated collection of Driver's Ed films. This collection.

Scare B&B would be a way better show. Well, hey, man. Maz, that's your next project. There you go. I'm going to pitch it on Monday. Here's some other questions we posed to our panel. Jesse, it's been four months in lockdown and clothing companies are adjusting to the new reality. How?

They're selling more sweatpants. No. Actually, I read once. I don't know if this is true, but they're selling far fewer pants than they used to because who needs pants? I mean, guys, I'm Porky Piggin' it over here. Donald Duckin'! Donald Duckin'! Donald Duckett! Can I have a hint? You can have a hint.

Well, you know, gosh, well, I guess this is the sort of thing that happens after you eat a candy bar a day for four months, I guess. They're selling bigger sizes. Yes, they have decided they must make bigger clothes. Thank you. To dress post-pandemic

America, clothing companies are adjusting their sizes. What was once a medium is now really a large. Large is now extra large and so on. Also a special size for people who didn't think they'd gain weight during the pandemic. That's XL LOL. According to the Chicago Tribune, many brick and mortar clothing stores are reporting that as they reopen, customers are coming in having no idea what size they are anymore. Well, my measurements are 34, COVID-19, 36.

I'm so excited by this news. Welcome to Obesity America. I'm so happy to see you. Hey man, the fatter America gets, more dates I go on. I say running. I'm really excited about this. Helen, a Komodo dragon at the Chattanooga Zoo has become famous after she gave birth to three hatchlings without what?

A male. Right, exactly right. She did it all on her own. Zookeepers were thrilled and surprised when the female lizard became a mother of dragons. She did it without a baby daddy. It's exciting for a number of reasons. Finally, we know lady lizards can really have it all without a man. And we know that unto us, lizard Jesus was born this day as Savior.

I was going to say, was the Holy Spirit touched the clothes? It really was. No, I bet there's a little gecko somewhere. Big smile on its face. And none of its friends believe him. The female lizard had shared an enclosure with a male lizard, but they never mated, which is weird because that's the sort of behavior you'd expect from a bearded dragon. So they definitely did it. Well, no, but here's the thing, Helen.

So they did a DNA test, and it came back, and they are totally not the male lizard's offspring. Zoo staff suspect that the hatchlings were instead produced through a rare process of female-only reproduction called parthenogenesis, causing a spike in women Googling, how do I parthenogenesis? Now it's time for a very new segment that we're calling News for a Younger Demo. Here's a question that we specifically chose for our fans in middle school. Josh, an international group of scientists has banded together to save an endangered species that primarily lives near the border of Bolivia and Peru.

What is this species? Middle schoolers. It's an animal that's endangered. I guess, is it an animal that farts? I was waiting for Josh to be like, You're getting there, Josh. An animal that farts. I mean, I guess that's most of them.

Sperm whale. Yeah, closer. All right, if nobody can guess, I will give it to you. They are trying to save the scrotum frog of Lake Titicaca. Oh, fun. Wait, the scrotum frog is from Lake Titicaca?

That's just piling on. It really is. We just needed scrotum frog or Lake Titicaca. We didn't need a combo. But is it that the scrotum frog is just named scrotum frog, but its most prominent feature are its elbows? People just call it the scrotum frog is just named scrotum frog, but its most prominent feature are its elbows? People just call it the scrotum frog to be mean. It's a nickname the scrotum frog got in middle school.

They just would never shake it. At the reunion, it's like, hey, I'm a tree frog. And they're like, scrotum, what's up, dude? Scrotum, what up, dude? Scrotum's here. He's like, I knew I shouldn't have come. I went to medical school. It's Dr. Scrotum Fraud.

Our little show is but a minor player in a vast industry, the satirical industrial complex. And one of the titans in the business is Samantha Bee, former Daily Show star and now the host of her own show, Full Frontal. Like us, Sam has been doing her show from her home. So it was easy to find her there in May. I mean, how is she going to hide from us? And now the game where we ask interesting people about things they're probably not interested in. Samantha Bee was a breakout star on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, and she then became the first woman to host a late-night comedy show, Full Frontal, on TBS. She was also the first host

to completely get rid of the time-honored desk on the set, which was smart because now she hasn't had to move a desk out to the woods behind her house where she's been filming her show for the last two months. Samantha Bee, welcome to Wait, Wait. Yes, thank you. I'm so excited to be here. We're so excited to have you. And I know we've been trying to get you for a while, and I'm just thankful that an incident happened where you had nowhere else to go so we could get you.

Well, then you're responsible for this whole cataclysm. You did this. We did it. How are you doing? How are you handling the quarantine? I mean, we are fine. I feel lucky to be working and lucky to be able to make the show in the forest. This is interesting because the other people on

TV or peers like Seth Meyers and Stephen Colbert, they're in their homes. You are doing your show outside. Is it woods behind your house? It's the woods behind my house. And like we really made the choice simply because we didn't have any lights and we were like, well, sunshine is a good, it's the best natural light for us. So to be even more lo-fi, we just decided that the light of day was actually the best lighting that we could get. And so it just was a very organic kind of function of us not knowing what we were doing and not having a lot of equipment. It also makes you the first late night host to ever have to worry about a rain delay. Absolutely. And it does. We definitely have to watch. We watch the weather scrupulously. We have our backup plan is terrible. It's we figure we could shoot in the gazebo in the

backyard, but it's noisy back there because there's a creek that runs by. So we don't really have any plan B if there's bad weather. We just kind of tape earlier. Can I ask, do woodland creatures ever take part? Woodland creatures take part. We have hogs that go by overhead. Sometimes you can hear turkeys in the background. What? Yeah. There's a lot of screeching wildlife. And we've had a couple of episodes where we have had, like, as the earth is quite moist and the gnats come out. So we've had a lot of gnat activity and it was like buzzing around my face. It's really amazing. I did love that little moment I saw where all these chipmunks came on and touched up your makeup. That's right.

It's so beautiful. It was adorable of them. They fixed the ribbons in my hair. How have you been dealing with what I guess we've all been dealing with, which is going from having a nice audience that lets you know how well you're doing to not having that? I think it speaks to how familiar I am to not having reactions to the things that I say, but I feel perfectly fine.

I feel actually it's not a problem for me not to have an audience. It's more a problem that I deliver every joke into my husband's eyes because he's holding the iPhone that we record the whole show on. It's basically just an iPhone 11. And so if something doesn't land, it just really thuds. Are your kids helping out as well? Kids are helping out as well when they don't, because I have three school age kids. So they're all doing remote learning right now. So when they're finished their lessons for the day, which they usually finish kind of around three o'clock. And that's around the time that we like to shoot the show. And my eldest daughter is actually very good.

We have this thing called a flex fill, which is just this little aluminum pan, basically, that goes under your chin and just shines some, like reflects some nice light into your face. And she's very good at holding the flex fill. She really understands how beneficial it is to put a little golden light on mommy's face. She has a real instinct for it and i'm glad but you can tell there are some episodes actually if you look closely she's gotten bored of holding the flexville and so the light just drops off my face she's just when she's just sat down on a stump so you're married to another comedian and performer jason jones and i wonder do you guys

compete to be the funnier parent uh jason strives to be the funnier parent but i think i do a better job of it it's more natural for me he's trying too hard all the time no you should you should have you should have a system in place. Like the parent who gets fewer laughs has to clean up after dinner. That sounds very fair. That is a very interesting approach. Have you and your family developed any quarantine rituals or new hobbies? Have you all taken up a craft together or had a like, oh, every Friday we're going to

dress up for dinner, various things that people are doing? I'm so jealous of people who are productive during quarantine. We're working our way through television shows. Is that considered productive now? Absolutely. We're very dedicated to watching the show Lost. So we're all kind of, that's the one thing that we're doing. That is the one thing that we're doing is gathering at the end of the day and all watching lost together the the family that gets confused by lost together stays together and i have to i have to ask how are you finding it doing comedy specifically news related comedy current events comedy at the at the current moment uh well we've always tackled really difficult stuff on the show so i I think, you know, it's different kind of the context of being in the forest.

Delivering tough material is a little more challenging. And I would say that we are making a genuine effort now to find joy wherever we can or to find points of lightness or to find things that are. Yeah. For example, have you heard about the murder hornets they're hilarious do you know what could take on the murder hornet what a samantha b next week's cold open right there well samantha, it is a pleasure to finally talk to you. I'm sorry it took a national emergency to make it happen, but we did what we had to do. Now, Sam Bee, you are the host of Full Frontal, so we have invited you here to play a game that this time we're calling... Full Bactle. That's right.

Full Bactle. We're going to ask you three questions about butt doubles. Those are the people who stand in for actors when a shot showing the posterior is required and the actor is either unwilling or unqualified to do it. Answer two out of three questions about butt doubles and you'll win our prize for one of our listeners, the voice of their choice in your voicemail. Let's do this. I'm ready.

Here we go. Bill, who is Samantha Bee playing for? Julio Sal Let's do this. I'm ready. Here we go. Bill, who is Samantha Bee playing for? Julio Salazar of Nashville, Tennessee. All right. Here we go. I don't want to disappoint you. I don't want to disappoint you. Here's your first question. Famously, Dakota Johnson gave way to a butt double for her S&M scenes in the movie Fifty Shades of Grey. it wasn't that she was shy. Was it A, her mother, Melanie Griffith, once told her, quote, never show them your bank account or your moneymaker?

Was it B, the first time and only time actor Jamie Dornan spanked her, she reflexively leapt up and decked him? Or C, too many butt tattoos? I think it was C. And you're right, Sam. It was. Dakota Johnson has too many butt tattoos. She says that that may have been a mistake. All right, Sam.

Here's your next question. Sandra Bullock needed a butt double in the film Our Brand is Crisis, so filmmakers came up with a creative solution. What was it? A, they used an extreme close-up of two cantaloupes. B, they used one cheek each from two different actors making the first composite ass in film history. Or C, producer George Clooney got on set and did it himself.

I think it's B. You think it's B, they used one cheek from two different actors making a composite ass? I'm just going to say that because I don't, that's just a guess. That's just a hard, cold guess. I'm afraid it was George Clooney's butt. What? Wow.

He just walked on set and dropped trow and it worked. Bullock said he was surprisingly non-hairy and it did the job nicely. Stop it. So he has a gender neutral butt, basically. Exactly. Here's your last question, Sam. How did Liam Neeson explain why he used a butt double for the movie A Million Ways to Die in the West? Was it A, body doubles need to feed their families too?

B, my pants don't drop if I'm working for scale. Or C, I hate my Irish butt. I think it's C, I hate my Irish butt. You're exactly right. No, you're right, Sam. That's what it was. Oh, thank God. Bill, how did Samantha Bee do in our quiz?

Sam Bee knows her butts. Two out of three. A winner. Yay. Ring-a-ding-ding. Exactly. There you go. Exactly. There you go.

When we come back, Barry Sonnenfeld on making movies and Karamo Brown from Queer Eye on making you cry. We'll be back in a minute with more Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host, whose cabin fever is getting so bad the cabin might catch on fire, Peter Sago. Thank you, Bill. Too bad the cabin might catch on fire. Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Nostalgia is usually fun, and these days it's a survival technique, so we're looking back on some good times from the recent past. Queer Eye is a show about how people can improve their looks and their dress and their cooking and their homes, and also sometimes their soul.

That's the department of Karamo Brown, a member of the Fab Five, who joined us in March. I asked him what it meant exactly to be the show's culture expert. Yeah, I don't know what it means. Yeah. You tell me what culture means. I mean, I know what the word culture means,

but I don't know what it means in the sense of this show. Like, I understand grooming, cook, design, culture. Don't know what to do with that. Right. So if you don't know what you were supposed to do with it, how did you get the job? I made it up. You just did?

Yeah, just made it up. One day just woke up and was like, I'm just going to start making people cry. Let's figure that out. Really? That was your goal? I knew, like, I have a background. I worked in social services for many years. I was a social worker.

So I was like, I need to get to the core of what's happening. I was like, you know, there's some job security. It's like, this guy can make them laugh and I can make them cry. There's something that's going on there. So, you know. You actually have a sort of a pedigree in reality TV because you were, I'm told, the first openly gay person on Real World. Is that not right? No, no, no, not the first. There were many, many, many, many, many gays before me. You were standing on the shoulders of other gays? Many gays, many gays. I don't know if you ever try to stand on the shoulders of gays.

It's not an easy task, but it's been working for me. No, I was the first openly gay African-American. Ah. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Do you remember the first time on Queer Eye that you decided, I'm not going to care about sending them to a show. I'm going to find out what their trauma is and bring them to catharsis.

Yeah, episode one, the very first episode. Yeah, it was the very first episode. It was with a guy named Tom Jackson. The first time shooting, the very first time working with someone. And I just was literally like, no, you're, you're sitting in this room by yourself. I'm going to figure out why, because all this other stuff we could change external, but if I don't figure out what's going on the internal, then it's not going to work. And I was so proud because he, he had such a cathartic moment. And then I watched

it back and they cut it all out. No, really? Yeah. Cause I actually wanted to, they cut it. Most of season one, a little bit of season two to they cut it most of season one a little bit of season two they cut out all of that stuff because that wasn't their vision for it and so uh it's no shade you know there's no shade at all but like they would leave in you know me doing a you know photo album you know like and you see the person crying and you'd be like wow that photo album was really good but can i ask if you if you had, let's say, like the Karamo primary as part of the political season, are you confident that you could have gotten

all the candidates to cry? Um, yes. Yeah. Which one do you think would be the hardest one? Or which one do you think would fold right away, just start blubbering? Oh, Biden. I've met Biden before. Really? Yeah, yeah. He's a c've met biden before really yeah he's a crier he cries a lot he's a crier it takes nothing at all i would just be like black people and he'd

be like self-care like it's very very simple all right which one would have been getting like you know blood from a stone which one would would have been would it have been hard to get to cry? I probably think, like, I don't know. Bloomberg, right? Bloomberg would probably be my choice. You know what I mean? You can't become a billionaire without being a bit of an a**hole. I think it would be hard to get Buttigieg to cry. Oh, no.

Buttigieg would be the easiest for me. Why? What would you do? Oh, my gosh. Warren and Bloomberg would probably be the hardest because women have sort of been taught in our culture to show weakness, make them difficult or something. So I think she would probably be in the sense of like

I have to be strong in Bloomberg, like I said. That whole bit. But Buttigieg? Uh-uh. Are you kidding me? How would you make Pete Buttigieg cry or get in touch with his innermost feelings? Um, no. I can't do it. Like the gays will attack me on Twitter. Oh, what are you going to say?

You seem really straight. Yeah, I cannot say anything right now. All right. I'm trying not to be canceled in 2020, okay? You've been engaged for a while. Yes, I am. My baby daddy and I are getting married in September. Oh, that's awesome.

Congratulations. Again, just imagining the kind of pressure to excel that are on all of you. Do you have anything special planned for the wedding? Oh, this wedding is ridiculous. It's actually sent my fiance to the hospital twice already because of anxiety attacks. What? And I'm not saying this very proudly, but... Your wedding planning has actually put your fiancé in the hospital twice?

Twice. Twice. Okay. Yeah. So the thing was is that the first time when I put the deposit down for our Ferris wheels, he was not okay with that. Lurel. Wheels.

Well, you have to. All right, go on. Wheels. Plural. Wheels. Well, you have to. All right, go on. I also, so we went to a spot here in L.A. where you can get peacocks trained to kind of,

to show their, like, bloom of their feathers at the same time. And so I wanted, like, when I say I do, peacock feathers to go up. And that, like, sent him. Wait a minute. You wanted, like, synchronized talking. You wanted the peacocks to actually spread their tail feathers on cue. Like Vegas peacocks. On cue. I say I do, and they go up, which is very possible to do because peacocks can be trained,

but it gives him a lot of anxiety to see. I don't know why. God, I have to say, Ferris wheels and peacocks, this is a very gay wedding. Amazing. Honey, you have no idea, right? Honey, it's just gayer than that. Can I ask a personal question? Yeah.

I mean, if your fiancé doesn't make it because of the stress, will you still have the wedding? The answer is yes. You can't get the deposit back on those strange peacocks, Mo. Yeah, you cannot. You cannot. So I'll send him a postcard and say, you missed a wonderful day. We wish you were here. Well, Karamo Brown, it is really fun to talk to you,

but we have invited you here to play a game we're calling... Mmm, yogurt. So you're... So you are ostensibly the culture expert on Queer Eye. So we thought we'd ask you about another kind of culture, namely the bacteria culture that makes yogurt such a delicious, nutritious treat. Answer two out of three questions about yogurt, you'll win our prize for one of our listeners.

Bill, who is Karamo Brown playing for? Phil Dyminski, who won our smart speaker quiz. You can be a winner, too. Just say, open the wait, wait quiz. All right. Business done. Here we go. Karamo, first question.

Yes. Yogurt was introduced into Europe in the early 17th century by whom? Europe in the early 17th century by whom? Was it A, a merchant in Prague who opened a shop whose name translates to the Habsburg Empire's best yogurt? B, a magician

who advertised this amazing ability to eat spoiled milk with a spoon with no after effects? Or C, the French King Francois I who sent to Turkey for yogurt because he heard it could cure his chronic diarrhea. I'm going to go with C. You're right.

That's what happened. True story. And it worked. Yeah, it did. These days, everybody really loves Greek yogurt. The Greeks sometimes use Greek yogurt for the traditional practice of yaourtoma, which is what? A, the practice of throwing yogurt on a politician in protest, which was so widespread in the 1950s that the government banned it under penalty of having your head shaved. B, a man hides a wedding ring in yogurt and gives it to his beloved if she eats it without noticing they are officially married.

We're getting a divorce. Or C, foretelling the future by leaving a cup of yogurt out and then reading the patterns of mold that appear. I don't know. Let's go with A. You're right. That's what I thought. The real thing And there really was

A real problem with it In the 50s So they had to Threaten people With public shaming Alright Last one If you get this one right

You're I was about to say perfect But in your case I'll say More perfect Aw Yogurt Is an incredibly popular food

As I'm sure you know But not all yogurt-based Products succeed Which of these failed to find an audience? A. Clairol's Touch of Yogurt Shampoo B. McDonald's Filet of Yogurt Sandwich

or C. Lee's Yogurt Lover Jeans with a Yogurt Cup-Shaped Pocket on Each Thigh? B. Because that's not like the American stuff. I love you for choosing it, but that's not right. The answer was Clairol's Touch of Yogurt Shampoo. Oh, because of the culture.

Yeah. I didn't know what it meant. It's all right. It's failed. It's failed. Bill, how did Karamo Brown do in our quiz? Two out of three. That means you're a winner.

Congratulations, Karamo. Thanks. that means you're a winner. Congratulations, Rama. Finally, back in February, we invited back one of our favorite guests, the movie director Barry Sonnenfeld, to tell us about his recently published memoir. Oh, hi, Peter.

The book is amazing. It turns out that you have lived a somewhat unusual life for a big-time movie director. But usually we think of movie directors as being like real alpha people. They're powerful, they've got vision. That's not you, I don't think. No. You know, as I mentioned eight years ago, I learned from my mother a concept of strength through weakness, that the more sort of needy you seem to be of other people's help, they will come to the rescue. So I surround myself with really smart people and really talented people. And

then I'll like point and I'll stutter. And then they'll say, oh, do you want me to talk faster? And I'll go, yeah, that'd be great. Thanks. Your book tells more stories about your parents, both your parents, who were, I believe the technical term is a piece of work. both your parents, who were, I believe the technical term is, a piece of work. You know, what's funny is neither of my Jewish parents wanted me to go into the doctoring or lawyering or finance businesses. My mother wanted me to be an artist, and my father said, do whatever you want to do, and somehow you'll make a living doing that, which is unusual considering he was bankrupt seven times in my life.

Really? So, yeah, he believed in doing what you like to do. He just didn't figure out a way to make money doing it. Right. Well, he also wasn't that good in telling you about the facts of life. Am I right? Well, here's the problem. Is that how he started his explanation of the facts of life? Here's the problem. Here's the problem. See, Dad and I were going to go to a Yankee game, and Dad was my hero when I was about

13 or 14, and we were in a hurry, so I put on Dad's jacket and found a bunch of condoms in there, which was surprising since I can't imagine my parents ever having sex. So anyway, dad decided to take that moment where I discovered he was obviously having an affair to teach me about the facts of life. And he got it totally wrong. He explained to me, for instance, that the only time a woman can become pregnant is during their period so at least I realized why I was the only child yes but I had to explain to my father that it's exactly the opposite and he said good to know I read you had no interest in directing, yet you agreed to direct The Addams Family. What made you change your mind? You know, I really enjoyed being a cameraman. You know,

I write about being a cameraman on Penny Marshall's movie and all these other movies. And this producer, Scott Rudin, sent me the script for Adam's Family. And he said, you should become a director. And I said, okay, I'll direct. This is the way I go through life. Okay. I learned it from Penny Marshall, as it turns out. In fact, I shot big for Penny. And after the first week, she came up to me the second Monday and said,

I tried to fire you, but they wouldn't let me. And I said, who wouldn't let you fire me, Penny? You should have any cameraman you want. She said, no, they wouldn't let me. I called Danny, because she was friends with Danny DeVito, and I had shot Throw Mama from the Train. She said, I called Danny. He says you're good, but I don't think so.

Well, Barry Sonnenfeld, it is always great to talk to you. We've invited you here to play a game. We're calling... Barry Sonnenfeld, call your father. Okay. You wrote a book called Barry Sonnenfeld, Call Your Mother.

We decided to ask you about calling your father. That is confessing to a Catholic priest. Oh boy, this is going to be fun. You'd be good at this. Answer two out of three questions correctly. You might win a prize for one of our listeners. No, you will win a prize for one of our listeners. Any voice they might like on their answering machine. Bill, who is Barry Sonnenfeld playing for? Barbara Preston of Phoenix, Arizona. Alright, ready to do this? Yep. Alright, here's your first question. Confession can take forever if you've got one priest and a long line of sinners. So one priest in Indiana had an idea to speed up the process.

What was it? A, a multiple choice form so sinners could just check off their specific sins and hand it in. B, a golf cart that allows the priest to bring the confessional to you. Or C, mass confession where the priest names a sin and everybody who did it just raises their hand? Well, it's either one or three. I'm gonna go one. It was actually B, the golf cart. No.

Father Patrick at St. Thomas Aquinas Church in Indiana likes to cruise around Catholic college campuses in his golf cart and offer the sacrament to anyone who looks guilty. You have two more chances, and I'm pretty sure you're going to get this. Sometimes a congregation's sins are too serious for just a couple of Hail Marys to fix, which explains why two priests in Russia did what once? A, started telling congregants to do one billion Hail Marys. B, required every congregant to perform an original song describing their sin.

Or C, went up in an airplane and dumped a bunch of holy water on their hometown. You know, I'm going to get this wrong too, which makes the third one totally useless, but I'm going to go with three. This time you're right, Barry. That's what they did. Upset with the level of, quote, drunkenness and fornication,

the two Russian Orthodox priests went up in a plane and threw holy water on the Russian city of Tver. There you go. Last question. Confession is a right going back a thousand years or more, but this is the 21st century, so of course it's been modernized. If you're a millennial Catholic suffering with guilt, you can do which of these? A, get out of that stuffy church and go to a confession brunch held in a Portland diner where a priest hangs out

in a corner booth. B, join the church of a San Antonio priest who is now hearing confessions via Snapchat. Or C, join Uber Repentance where your Uber driver will go to church and confess for you. Man, those are all really good. I'm going to go B. You're going to go B again? You're right, Barry. That's exactly right. Of course, the priest is using Snapchat because the image has vanished, right? It's perfect for people who want to confess their terrible sins while with adorable puppy ears. Bill, how did Barry Sonnenfeld do in our quiz? Two out of three.

Barry, you won. Congratulations again, Barry. You're two for two on our show. That's it for this week. We have officially run out of things to be nostalgic about. Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions,

Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord. BJ Lederman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornbos, and Lillian King. Peter Piper picked a peck of Peter Gwynn. Technical direction is from Lorna White. Our business and ops manager is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse.

Our senior producer is Ian Chilog. And the executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Michael Danforth. Thanks to everyone you heard on this week's show, all of our panelists, all our guests, of course, Bill Curtis, and thanks to all of you. I'm Peter Sagal. Stay safe, stay healthy, and we'll be back with a new show next week. This is NPR.