Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - Best of WWDTM December 2021

Episode Date: December 25, 2021

It's our Christmas Spectacular with Bowen Yang, Lindsey Vonn, Elizabeth Warren, and Symone. Plus there's a shiny new Bluff the Listener game and other never-before-heard material.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. Hey, wise men, try these gifts of the Magi. Gold, frankincense, and Curtis. That's me, Bill Curtis. And here is your host, celebrating Christmas in the tradition of his ancestors by eating at a Chinese restaurant, Peter Sago. Thank you, Bill. So we've made it to the end of another year. And while that doesn't usually qualify as an accomplishment, we feel like this time we earned a medal, another one. We look forward to the day when we can once again celebrate the

end of a year the normal way, with regret. Our journey through 2021 was made easier by getting to talk to some really wonderful people. For example, actor and comedian Bowen Yang. Here's an extended version of our visit with Bowen, who joined us in September. Peter introduced him by noting he had been voted most likely to appear on SNL in high school. Thank you so much. I feel like I would have violated some labor law if I had been working at SNL as a teenager, but I would have loved to. When I heard that, I just immediately assumed that you were an extremely popular and funny kid in high school right no no that was just that was just my high school's way of using like florid language in terms of like

the superlatives because instead of being like prettiest person would be like most likely to be on the cover of vogue or something that's what i got but didn't pan out no oh that's that's that's what roy got roy um but i i uh yeah that that was just that was just the high school's way of making it seem like like an embellished kind of thing did you did you have ambitions to be an entertainer uh at that time is that what you were thinking for yourself i kind of i repressed it i um harry will understand it was it was just like an immigrant parent sort of thing where they were like, don't do this. You're not. There's there's no reason for you to do that.

And so I and I and I sort of really. What do they want you to do? What do they want me to be? Anything but. And so and so it was an active conversation. And then the first person who actually encouraged me to go in that direction was my dental hygienist. Oh, yeah. Wait a minute. Okay. Wait, how did that go? When I was in the chair and she was so sweet and nice and she, and, and then I, and she

continued to be my hygienist for years, but she, she just, she just asked me in a very disarming way. What do you want to be? Yeah. I don't suppose, I don't suppose you've heard from her in the last few years when you've become very successful i haven't i would love for her to reach out i forgot her name too i'm terrible clarice they're mostly named clarice you were you were um first a writer for saturday night live which i did not know when you were a writer i mean did

you ever have to do those sketches that you're writing for the big celebrity guests and was ever that intimidating to like writing for whomever the big star was that particular week oh yeah yeah i mean constantly especially not first year have you ever pitched something to a celebrity and they're like no absolutely not never gonna do that um they let you down easy no one's ever like shut something down outright. I mean, the word maybe gets thrown around constantly at that place. Really? As a way of just pounding you with the soft poultice of a rejection.

My favorite thing that you've done on the show, and there's been a lot, was you playing the iceberg that sank the Titanic. Did you write that too, or was that written for you? I co-wrote it, but it was Anna Dresden's idea. She's one of the head writers. 2021 saying, Hey, it's, it's a month away, but maybe during the Titanic anniversary, we, you come on update as the iceberg and you're, and you're just very incensed. And I was like, I don't know, what does that even look like? And it was one, it was one of those things where we were like, this has no reason to succeed. No one's no one who makes decisions here will ever agree

to let this go on TV because it's just, it's just ridiculous. For some reason it slipped through cracks and I'm very grateful it did. Are you like worried that you're going to be doing the iceberg for like the rest of your career on Saturday Night Live? I'm not worried about it. I was a little annoyed in the summer, in the beginning of the summer, especially around Pride Month when a lot of like cute guys would come up to me and then they'd be like, isn't it too hot for you to be outside? And I'd be like,

Oh, I thought you were coming. Oh, how heartbreaking. It may well be that your iceberg to Titanic iceberg is the most popular character for like the Hoy Paloy, but for sophisticates like myself, my favorite sketch has to be the Sarah Lee Instagram account sketch.

Oh, that's great. Yeah. Wow. Peter, you like that one? That's great. I thought that was the funniest thing I've ever seen. Oh, thank you. And for people who don't know, the sketch is that the young guy who's handling the Instagram account for Sarah Lee is posting these insanely sexual things from his own life as sarah lee um did sarah lee enjoy that sketch so unfortunately

one of what happened was because harry styles was the host and he has a very particularly spirited following a bunch of his fans commented on the sarah lee on the actual Sarah Lee Instagram, just the filthiest lines from the sketch. Oh, wait, I need to say, so Harry Styles was the guest host. He was the playing the guy who was putting the stuff on the Instagram. And this stuff was, can you give me an example of the kind of things

he was supposedly putting on the Sarah Lee Instagram? It would be like, wreck me, daddy. I'm really depressed after this threesome. Why do I feel abducted even though I, you know, even though I'm like, whatever, like, I'm not present when I'm having sex. Like, all these things. But then so what happened with Sarah Lee was

Harry Styles' fans were posting all these quotes from the sketch on the actual Sarah Lee Instagram, and then Sarah Lee started to delete. I understand why they And then Sarah Lee started to delete. I understand why they did this. They started to delete a lot of these comments and then people noticed that. And then they locked the account down.

No one could comment on anything. So it seemed like the initial response was, no, what's happening? Some poor person woke up Sunday morning and was like, what? And then it has a nice ending to it because they sent a whole basket full of their artisanal

bread. That's the good stuff. That's the good stuff. And so they sent that and then we've had a lovely relationship with them. And final question, tell me about your Emmy shoes. Oh, yeah.

Happy to. They were metallic heels, six-inch heels, two-inch platforms. But, wait, was the question, why did I wear them? Yes. Because they looked nice. Okay. The only flack I got from, like, you know,

sartorially-minded people online was the pants should have been flared. The cut of the wasn't right i'm like okay thank you for the now i thought you look lovely and your legs were quite shapely thank you thank you peter well bow and yang we're having too much fun but we have work to do we've asked you here to play a game we're calling monday through friday night live so you appear live on saturday night in the season so we were wondering what you knew about the shows that go live on weeknights mainly local news so we're going to ask you three questions about local news broadcasts if you get two out of three right of course you're going to win our

prize for a listener they get the voice of anyone they might choose in our show. Bill, who is Bowen Yang playing for? Michelle Seymour of Seattle, Washington. All right. Ready to do this? Yes. Apologies in advance, Michelle. Now, the first question is, local news has been wild for a while. Back in 1977, a British newsman had to endure what while interviewing a colorful local? Was it A, being served with divorce papers live on camera? B, the man seizing his chest, having a heart attack and collapsing into his arms? Or C, a ferret clamping onto his finger and refusing to let go? A ferret feels like a Monty Python sketch. I don't know. That sounds right.

Yes, it was, of course, the ferret. Presenter Richard Whiteley tried to pry this ferret off his finger for a full 30 seconds, which is a long time when there's a ferret clamped to your finger, and he's trying to, he's going, get it off me! And his owner is sitting there, the ferret's owner, that is,

saying, oh, he's just playing with you. All right. Second question. Even the Weather Channel can get into trouble when it goes live. As when which of these things happened? A, a correspondent's hat blew off and he walked off to find it, leading to a solid minute of television showing just a tree. B, they tried to show the implosion of the Georgia Dome and an Atlanta city bus pulled in front of their camera for the exact 10 seconds during which the building fell down. Or C, a report from a rare live sudden rainstorm in Albuquerque was ruined when the camera panned

up and captured the spraying garden hose. I mean, the Georgia Dome one sounds too specific for it not to be true. Yes, that's what happened. And if you watch the video, which is, of course, online, it plays like a magic trick. There's a dome. Now there's a bus. Oh, there's no dome. It's amazing. All right.

Last question. In 2006, viewers of the BBC witnessed one of the strangest live interviews ever. What happened? A, the guest had just come into the station for a job interview, was mistaken as the guy there for a TV interview, was put on camera and just went with it. B, an anchor in her first day in the job kept pronouncing BBC as bubba cuh. BBC as bubba-ka or C, when every microphone on the set but one broke, the anchor had to interview the

Danish foreign minister while sitting in his lap. Oh, I think I've seen C actually happen, so let's go with C. You've seen a man interview a significant foreign politician while sitting in his lap? Wait, okay, then maybe not. I either

would be very interested to hear all about it. Okay. Oh, gosh. I mean, now I have to choose. I'll say A. Yes, it was A. He was just this computer technician who was coming in to interview for an IT job at the studios, and they mistook him for somebody else,

and he sat there and answered questions about the future of digital music, really gamely for a while. And weirdly, even though he did this, they didn't give him the job. I know. Bill, how did Bowen Yang do in our quiz?

Bowen, you got three right. That is rare and terrific. Congratulations. Thank you. Bowen Yang is an Emmy nominated writer and performer on Saturday Night Live. You can also see him as Edmund in Awkwafina is Nora from Queens. New episodes air Wednesdays on Comedy Central.

Bowen Yang, you are so much fun, and we are so grateful you stopped by and talked to us. Thank you so much. Thanks, Brian. Bye. I really appreciate it. Take care. Take care. When we come back, a brand new Christmas-themed Bluff the Listener game,

and skier Lindsey Vonn pulls Santa's sleigh down a giant slalom course. We'll be back in a minute with more Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host who wants you to know that's not an ironically ugly Christmas sweater. It's just his regular everyday sweater. It's Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. As that symbol of the Christmas spirit Ebenezer Scrooge once said, keep Christmas in your own way and let me keep it in mine. God bless us, everyone.

We're keeping Christmas in our way by bringing you a brand new holiday-themed Bluff the Listener game. Here's Tom Bodette, Faith Saley, and Mo Rocca, two of whom will shortly be lying through their teeth for Christmas. Hi, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hey, this is Jeff Hatcher from Greensboro, North Carolina. Jeff Hatcher? I happen to have a good friend by that name. What do you do there in North Carolina? I'm an infectious disease physician and a chief medical officer in our health system. So you haven't had a lot to do for the last couple of years. How have you been spending all your spare time? Cycling, whitewater kayaking, and spending good time with my family.

I am amazed you answered that seriously. I was being sarcastic. I assumed you haven't had any free time since early 2020. Well, you have to have some balance. I guess you do. Well, we are glad to have you in the show. You're going to play our game in which you have to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is the topic? Holiday traditions of the stars. Ah, holiday traditions. We know them as making cookies with grandma, watching Hallmark movies, and playing how much eggnog has Uncle Jerry really had. But never mind us. What do the rich and famous do?

This week, we heard about a holiday tradition from the upper crust. Our panelists are going to tell you about it. Pick the one who's telling the truth and you'll win our prize. The voice of your choice on your voicemail. Ready to play? Yes, sir. All right. Let's first hear from Mo Rocca. Well, they didn't include this in the crown. According to royal expert ingrid seward

queen elizabeth commands each of the guests who arrive at sandringham castle for the annual royal christmas feast to weigh themselves when they arrive and throughout their stay using a set of antique scales supposedly this is all to make sure guests are being well-fed, so she's just being, you know, a good host. After the first weigh-in, the royals enjoy turkey with all the trimmings. Then it's a walk around the grounds of the estate in order to make room for a lavish afternoon tea, complete with a gargantuan iced cake, followed by a candlelit dinner. It's not clear if there's a prize for the day's biggest gainer beyond a bag of corgi-themed swag. But a word of caution. An overloaded royal, much like a truck, can be difficult to control. It's rumored that Sir Winston Wideload Churchill was denied clearance at Sandringham and forced

to turn back. And former big rigs like George IV and Queen Anne, who really was as big as a house, jackknifed on the way to the castle's vomitorium. And sorry, not sorry, for body shaming the dead. The Queen weighs all her guests for her Christmas feast. That's for Mo. Your next story of a famous festivity comes from Faith Saley. If you receive an invitation to Dwayne Johnson's Christmas soiree, you'd better be prepared to smell what The Rock is cooking. Literally. song in your head. For those folks, let's remember that Johnson began his career as a professional

wrestler known as The Rock, whose catchphrase was, can you smell what The Rock is cooking? He's turned that intimidating metaphorical speech into a Christmas Eve tradition. For the past 17 years, guests welcomed to his Florida mansion must don an elf cap that firmly covers their eyes. They have to use their noses to determine what Johnson is whipping up, winning points for every specific ingredient they can detect. Is it his croquembouche with split vanilla bean? His figgy pudding with persimmon? The guest who guesses the most correct ingredients gets to cradle Johnson in a live nativity crash in which The Rock plays a shirtless baby Jesus with lots of tattoos. The Rock says, can you smell what The Rock is cooking? And means it.

Your last story of a talked about tradition comes from Tom Beaudet. Man of the Year Elon Musk is famous for his insensitive and often destructive public comments which have crashed markets and ended careers. Some would say he's a nasty piece of work who enjoys hurting people. But that's not it. I'm not mean, claimed Mr. Musk. I just don't think about other people. At all.

Then, in December of 2018, Elon Musk did some random thing that made someone else happy completely by accident. He will not disclose what it was, but vividly recalls receiving the note, Dear Mr. Musk, you have made me very happy. Thank you, and Merry Christmas. It was weird, said Musk. I'd never had this happen before, and I was confused. Then I had an epiphany. Just because something I do makes someone happy doesn't mean it's wrong. Every Christmas since, Elon Musk gathers his ex-wives, their lawyers, and personal assistants and they brainstorm what Elon's good deed should be that year. It started small, dropping a few coins in the Salvation Army bucket. The next year, he

flew commercial, once. Not worth it, he reported. Last year, he caught a worker at his gigafactory leaving five minutes early and instead of firing him on the spot, gave him two weeks notice. That was really nice of me, he said. What will it be this year? Dishing soup for the homeless? Spearing trash in the highway median? I don't know, said Musk, but I'm starting to get addicted to this feeling, and that worries me. So I may have to crash Bitcoin or a rocket or something to clear my head afterwards. All right, here are your choices. From Mo Rocca, it's that the Queen of England weighs all of her guests on antique scales before the Christmas feast. From Faith Saley, Dwayne Johnson asks his guests if they can smell what the rock is cooking.

And from Tom Beaudet, Elon Musk, just for one day of the year, tries to do something nice. Which of these is the real story? I think I like what Mo is cooking. I'm going to go with Mo on this. I see, but with a nice reference to Faith, which I appreciate, and I'm sure she does too. So your choice is a Moe's story of how the Queen of England weighs all of her guests before the Christmas feast. Well, we spoke to an expert on this particular Christmas tradition.

The Queen asks each of her guests to be weighed on a set of antique scales when they arrive at Sandringham for Christmas and again when they leave. That was Kristen Meinzer, royal watcher and author of When Megan Met Harry, talking about the grand tradition of weighing the guests at Sandringham Castle. Congratulations. You got it right. You have earned your weight in a voicemail from anybody you like on our show. Thank you so much for playing, and Merry Christmas. My head is filled with last night's memories I'm holding back the tears Gotta keep my hands on the wheel My mind on the road Me and this old truck got a heavy load. Last year at this time, Peter took a few

weeks off for the birth of his son, Elliot. But I'm sure in his heart, he'd rather have been with us when guest host Maz Jobrani got to talk to Olympic skier, Lindsay Vaughn. So Lindsay, a couple of questions. I've, I've been skiing my whole life and I've never gotten that good. Now you started at a young age. So do you remember when you were like, wow, I'm good at this and I could be the world champ? Um, it wasn't until I was a bit older. I actually was really slow when I was a kid. My coach actually made fun of me and called me a turtle, but it took a while for sure. I wouldn't say that I knew that I was going to be anything good until I was probably 13 or 14 years old. So when you realized you're going to be good, did you call that coach and be like,

yo, it's turtle. What's up, dude? Ironically, he was my dad's coach as well. He's from Austria. So he kind of played it like he knew that I was going to be that good. He just like said it to kind of antagonize me. So tough love. Yes. Yeah.

So he turned around. He's like, I was trying to push her the whole way. I knew she was going to be very much champion. Yeah, I always knew. I always knew you would win. Did your coach ever set up like a fake rivalry with your dad? Was he like, oh, yeah, your father, he couldn't do this when he was raised? No, it would be like, I knew you would beat your father.

If you would waste your father, you would for sure beat your father. And look at everyone just went all in on this action. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we just agreed that that's what it is. It sounded similar. I would say we're all not very good, but... You know, I watched your documentary on HBO, which I highly recommend.

I always say you're inspired by greatness and mediocrity. So when I watch you go down that hill, I'm like, oh, I'm going to go do that. And then I get on the hill, I'm like, no, I'm not going to do that. But there's times when you're going down, what was the fastest you've ever gone? Like 80 something? Yeah. I mean, the fastest I've ever been clocked was 84, but I would imagine it's somewhere a little bit above that. Holy moly. I honestly don't think I've ever even been clocked going 84 in my car. I have a Prius.

But no, so here's my – I got two questions about going 84 miles an hour. First of all, I've taken falls on ski slopes going like 30 miles an hour. As I'm falling, I'm like, oh, no. You're going 84 and you're trying to win. What's going through your mind when you've taken a fall at a high speed um you try to be like gumby you know you see the fence coming and i always think like i got this i got this i got this and then i don't got it and i'm literally doing the splits and you know tangled in the fence like a fish but yeah you just try to go limp because the more you

tense up the more likely it is you're going to pull something or break something. But it's not fun. I can tell you that it's really not fun. I always have the analogy that skiing is like, you know, when you're going fast down the highway, you know, stick your head out the window. That's kind of how it feels when you're skiing. But then if you crash, it's just like you're driving down the highway and then you jump out of the car. Oh, my God. And then you slide for like half a mile, but you just got to gumby you got to be like peewee herman you got to do

didn't your dad try to push you to do other sports i mean i tried a lot of other sports and i have to say i was absolutely terrible at all of them um i played soccer and i my only goal was against my own team. I tried figure skating and I liked the outfits a lot, but my dad pulled me out of that after about a month. Tennis, huge failure. Gymnastics, I was too tall since I was like nine years old. So skiing was definitely where I had some talent. It's funny because in a way it's like you failed your way to a gold medal.

You failed at everything else, and you're like, I'm just going to kill it at skiing. Correct. Exactly. It's funny because Lindsay and I, I was just going to say, Lindsay and I basically have the exact same trajectory with sports, except for I never got to the part where I was a gold medalist at skiing. I sucked at one after another after another and then also skiing. Now, Lindsay, your new show on Amazon, The Pack. Okay, so I just got a dog. This is my first time getting a dog. We got a golden doodle. Her name is Yasu and she's adorable.

That's cute. Now you got Lucy. Lucy's adorable as as well so first of all the question is is this a show you wanted to do you were just looking for an excuse to hang out with lucy i mean it was kind of a great excuse to hang out with lucy but i was looking for kind of the next career move after skiing and i was like i get to travel the world with my dog and 12 other dogs i was like that to me is the best case scenario. How's it been filming with dogs? Is there any trouble on set behind the scenes?

The dogs were the best part of the show. I mean, who doesn't want to watch a Labradoodle running in slow motion with rainbow highlights? Well, Lindsey Vonn, we've asked you here today to play a game we're calling Go, Vonn, Go. You're used to hearing people yell, Vonn, we've asked you here today to play a game we're calling Go, Vonn, Go. You're used to hearing people yell, Vonn, Go. But what do you know about Van Gogh? As in Vincent Van Gogh. Answer two out of three questions correctly about the Dutch painter,

and you'll win a prize for one of our listeners, the voice of their choice on their voicemail. Bill, who is Lindsey Vonn playing for? Andrew Campbell of Richmond, Virginia. All right, Lindsey, here's your first question. After Vincent Van Gogh famously cut off his own ear, he painted a portrait of the doctor who treated him and gave the painting to the doctor as a thank you. What did the doctor do with it? I mean, all of these sound like not logical options. They're not.

Well, see, now you're thinking logical, right? You're thinking logical. Now, this show is not necessarily a logical show. I mean, I don't think it's the chicken coop, but it could be number one, but I don't know. I'm going to go with number three. The truth is it was the chicken coop. No way.

Wow. This guy hated the painting so much that he used it to repair his chicken coop. Now the painting today is valued at $50 million. That's insane. Wait, you mean they reclaimed the painting from the chicken coop? Or it would have been valued at $50 million? Yeah, how does that work? I think some

of the paint isn't paint i think it's just chicken poop there you go it's just a dead chicken that you hang on your wall so the name of the game is don't think logically there you go lindsey you got it right you go down a hill at 80 miles an hour you think that's logical that's not logical all right here's your next question you still got got a chance. You get two of these, this person wins. So the oldest woman who ever lived, who died in 1997 at the age of 122 years old, lived long enough that she actually met Vincent Van Gogh. It's a moment that she remembered her whole life. Why? A, because she couldn't get over how ugly he was.

A, because she couldn't get over how ugly he was. B, because he offered her his other ear saying, I feel lopsided with just one. Or C, because she posed for him, but in the finished painting, there was a guitar on the chair instead of her. I mean, I think maybe number one. You're getting good at this. You're right. Yes. She says it's a moment she remembered her whole life because she couldn't get over how ugly he was.

All right. You're one out of two. Here's your last question, Lindsey Vonn. is worth well into the millions of dollars, bargain hunters can still own a piece of history for the fraction of the price, including which of these which recently sold at auction. A, for $80,000, a napkin on which Van Gogh doodled a duck with a mustache. B, for $240,000, a letter between Van Gogh and Gauguin

describing their brothel visits or c for 195 000 a vip quote bedroom in arliss experience where you get to stay in the actual room from the famous painting and leave with a copy of the painting with yourself added into it? Maz, it's Arl. Arl. Well, let's just go with the brothel letters because that seems most interesting. You are right, Lindsey Vonn! You're a champion! He paid money for the brothel and now we pay to get the letter

for $240,000. Bill, how did Lindsey Vonn do in our game? You know, she won a gold medal there and here! So, congratulations,indsey thank you lindsey vaughn is a world champion skier and the host of amazon's the pack which you can stream now on amazon prime video lindsey vaughn thank you so much for joining us on wait wait don't tell me thank you guys we appreciate it bye l, Lindsay. Happy holidays. Thanks, Lindsay.

When we come back, tell Santa you weren't naughty or nice. Tell him you persisted and served face. We've got Senator Elizabeth Warren and Simone from RuPaul's Drag Race. That's in a minute from Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. and RuPaul's Drag Race. That's in a minute from Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz.

I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host for whom the holidays are nothing special because he eats figgy pudding all year, Peter Sago. Thank you, Bill. So we've been celebrating the only way we know how by remembering good times with family and friends and famous people who talk to us because they had something to promote. For example, Senator

Elizabeth Warren wrote a book that came out this past spring. So she came on with guest host Maz Jobrani, who wasn't afraid to ask those hard-hitting questions. This is your chance to come clean. What's up with the HBO show Ballers and You? What's going on? Are you kidding? Have you ever seen The Rock without his shirt on? Enough said. Well, as you watch, Senator Warren, do you ever think to yourself, you know what? When I run in 2028, I might call The Rock up and have him be my vice president. Oh, my God. Now, that's a thought. Telling you, we're here to help you out because we know, by the way, that you're known for having plans because throughout the, yes, you always said, I got a

plan. I got a plan. First question, did you have a plan or were you just saying, I got a plan and then you didn't get to it later? I really did have a plan. And in this new book I wrote, Persist, I talk about the fact that I had 71 juicy, fabulous, detailed plans and how the plans and the personal weave together. And they get me up in the morning and into the fight. And I hope they get a whole lot more people into the fight too. Let me ask you a question. The book, the title Persist comes from Mitch McConnell trying to insult you by saying that you persist.

Yeah. How'd that work out for you? Nice. I like that. Slam. from Mitch McConnell trying to insult you by saying that you persist. Yep. How'd that work out for you? Nice. I like that. Slam. I got two questions for you. Has anyone else ever tried to insult you with a positive word? And what were those other words?

Gee, I'm running through what Michael Bloomberg said to me. No, not that I can think of. I'm sure it's happened. Somebody must have called you smart at some point, thinking that was an insult. Actually, it's funny you'd mention that one. Yeah, it sounds like someone who prepared. Yeah, and you're like, thank you, I did. Did the homework, huh? Yeah. Now, this is another thing you talk about in the book. When you're like, thank you. I did. Did the homework, huh? Yeah. Now, this is another thing you talk about in the book. When you were on the campaign trail, you became famous for taking hours and hours of selfies. What's a pointer you can give us on taking selfies that we should all remember the next time we do one? It's a moment of great intimacy. And it really is.

I mean that. But it also is a chance for people to just say the thing that mattered to them, that they wanted to tell somebody who was running for president of the United States. Wow. That's amazing. So you're meeting all these people. You're on the campaign trail. What was your favorite regional food?

And what was one where you're like, I'm happy I don't have to be on the campaign trail what was your favorite regional food and what was one where you're like i'm happy i don't have to be on the campaign trail you can never say the second one right everything is great everywhere um i will say about campaign dang i ate a lot of cold food uh because somebody would grab it for you while you're doing the town hall. And three and a half hours later, when the selfie's done, I'm telling you, there's a lot of food that does not travel well. It has gelatinous lasagna. Yeah, exactly. And it has, it's hardened.

How the cheese hardens up. I have broken plastic forks trying to eat lasagna that is cooled off enough. And of course, you know, all the ice in your iced tea has melted. So now it's just lukewarm, light brown stuff. Sounds really glamorous. You really are selling this presidential thing. I'm telling you. Yeah, exactly.

Don't miss it. Well, Senator Warren, we've enjoyed talking to you, but we've asked you here to play a game we're calling... Senator Warren, how about Warren Peace? Yes. Okay. Yes, that pun was a disaster, just like Pierre Buzikov and Helen Kurigana's marriage. But we couldn't resist. So we're going to ask you three questions about Leo Tolstoy's War and Peace.

Answer two out of three questions right, and you'll win our prize for one of our listeners. Bill, who is Senator Warren playing for? Tricia Lang of Austin, Texas. All right. Here is your first question. At over half a million words, War and Peace is the go-to reference for the longest book ever written. But which of these actually contains even more words?

Was it A, Tolstoy's other classic, Anna Karenina, B, the strategy guide for the 2010 role-playing video game Fallout New Vegas, or C, the fourth Fifty Shades of Grey book, 5,000 More Shades of Grey? Oh, gosh. I was hoping it was the fourth Fifty Shades of Grey, but I'm afraid it's probably not. So I'm going to go with the second one.

B. Yes, you are right. The strategy guide for the 2010 role-playing video game, Fallout New Vegas. Nicely done. One for one. Okay, Tricia, I'm going to do this. You got it. Here we go. Here's your next question. Former RNC chairman Michael Steele, back when he was in a debate against other candidates for the post, said that War and Peace was his favorite book what was his favorite quote from the book a nothing is so necessary for a young man as the company of intelligent women

b it was the best of times it was the worst of times or c i could not would not on a boat. I could not, would not with a goat. Okay. I'm trying to think what Michael Steele might have said. Surely he didn't say it was the best of times, worst of times, because that's from Dickens. Unless he screwed up. Unless. Which is possible. Unless. Okay, I'm going with he said it was the best of times it was the worst of times your instinct is right senator warren yes michaels too he said it was the best of times the worst of times you're right okay for two here's your last question leo tostoy died at age

82 in a russian train station after taking ill on the train. Why was he on the train? A, he was on his way to receive an award as Russia's greatest living writer. B, he was running away from his wife. C, he was doing research for his new book, War and Trains. I'm going to go with A. You think he was on his way to receive an award as Russia's greatest living writer? Yes. He was actually running away from his wife.

I guess that's one way to win an argument. Bill, how did Elizabeth Warren do on the quiz? Senator, you got two of three, and that's a two-thirds majority. You're a winner. Oh, fabulous. Thank you so much for joining us on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. We really had a great time with you. Oh, thank you so much for having me. This is fun. Take care. Bye. Now it's time to draw names for Secret Santa. Why look, Bill, turns out we got the audience. Do we have anything to give them?

Why, I happen to have something that's perfect for a re-gift. It's a Christmas-themed question we put to our panel that's never aired before. And, no, it doesn't come with a gift receipt. Maeve! Yeah? Luxury lovers are feeling burned this year after they spent over $800 on a supposedly high-end what from the fashion house of Chanel oh is it a handbag it is not a handbag a dog a designer dog yeah that's a really big thing

That's a really big thing. Yes, Chanel and the little black pug. Oh, oh, oh, the branding. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know that they've moved into live creatures. I'll give you a hint. Okay. People are most excited to see what's behind little cardboard door number five, of course.

Oh, yes. Oh, the, oh my God, what's the name of that thing again? Before coming up to the holidays? Yes. And every single day, what's it going to be? Exactly. Will my father come home? Whatever it is. Like a thing you've been waiting for.

It's something serious in Ireland. Yeah. Dark. Yeah, but you know, it's like, what I mean is like something you've been waiting for every single day maybe will be behind the door. I think that was the advent calendar and that joy short story. It's very sad.

I'm sorry, I just said the word. Yes, I'll give it to you. It's an advent calendar. You fell right into Maeve's trap. I did, damn it. You fooled me again, Higgins. So smart. Yes, it's the Chanel advent calendar. It looked fancy at $800. You'd think it would be fancy, but while some of the doors So smart. Yes, it's the Chanel Advent Calendar. It looked fancy at $800.

You'd think it would be fancy, but while some of the doors open, you know, little Advent doors open to reveal like a little perfume or a tiny little bit of lipstick, others open to just have like key chains or stickers. One door had little bags that showed number five on it. You're like, oh, finally, some perfume.

No, nothing in the bag, just a little bag. It's weird to say, but I'm beginning to think an $800 advent calendar from a perfume company is not the ideal way to celebrate the birth of Jesus. I know. And famously, baby Jesus used to say, I wear Chanel number five, just Chanel number five. What he meant, what that is supposed to mean,

that's like something a woman says to try and be sexy Right Oh you knew that okay But I believe it goes like yes I'm wearing Chanel number 5 And nothing else Oh yes Yeah that's okay Thank you Peter my sensual guide

Oh Wow That's what baby Jesus used to say Mother father god I'm wearing Chanel No. 5 and just, I don't know what was it? You are so sexy right now. You are so sexy right now. And nothing else. I can't believe you're single, Maeve.

Really. Not after this. Not after this not after this powerful set of sentences I'll try on the plane home hello officer I'm wearing

finally in May we got a chance to talk to Simone, the winner of season 13 of RuPaul's Drag Race and aficionado say the greatest competitor in the history of that show. Peter asked her if there was a big drag scene in the city where she grew up, Little Rock, Arkansas. There was, it was a pretty good drag scene,

but it was very pageant as you could probably imagine and so um not really my gig but i learned a lot from the girls but that wasn't my path what do you mean pageant pageant it's like you know very like it like there is a gay miss america there is a gay us of a like it's like a pageant and girls go and they compete there's swimwear there's you know that q a like it's a pageant, but with drag queens. Right. And what was the version that you were more attracted to? I was just, I wanted to be a model, a woman.

I mean, for lack of a better term, that's what I wanted. I just, it was a lot of money for a one out of 50 chance of winning. Right. You just wanted to skip right to the point you get when you win and just be the star. Yeah. Maybe that. So was there a big drag scene in Arkansas

when you were growing up there? I would say Simone is me. I would say Simone is who I didn't let myself be when I was a kid. You know, very expressive, very just happy, effervescent, if you will, and just happy to be here. Gorgeous, stunning. That goes without question.

If only all our listeners could be on Zoom. You are gorgeous and stunning. Thank you. As I think I have made clear, intentionally or not, I am somewhat new to the world of drag. And I wanted to ask you about some drag lingo that I have no idea what any of this means. Okay. Snatched. Snatched. That means one of two things, means. Okay. Snatched. Snatched.

That means that one of two things, actually. Some girls, they are snatched. You know, like the makeup is good. The makeup is there. Your face is beat. Another word for beat, really. Or you could be snatched in the sense of, you know, some girls, they'll tape back your temples

and you'll be snatched. So makeup can be snatched and then you can literally be snatched in the face. Right. Oh, I see. But snatched is good. Snatched is good. Snatched is very good. What does serving face mean?

Serving face. So serving face means kind of like you are beat and you're giving it to the camera like so. You're just serving face, darling. Giving him all the, everything that's here. You just served Peter so much face that he's going to have to take some of it to go. Right.

It is a delight to talk to you, Simone, but we have in fact invited you here to play a game we're calling Lip Sync Meet Fix Sync. Oh, wow. You are brilliant, as we discussed at the Fine Art of Lip Syncing. So we thought we'd ask you about kitchen sinks and the people who fix them, that is plumbers.

So if you answer two out of three questions correct about the plumbing arts, you will win our prize for one of our listeners, the voice of anyone they choose for their voicemail. Bill, who is Simone playing for? Grace Jansen of San Francisco, California. All right. Here's your first question. of San Francisco, California. All right, here's your first question. Plumbers are on call 365 days a year, but one South Florida plumber

had an emergency call on Thanksgiving. Why? A, a homeowner didn't know what to do with her turkey carcass, so she flushed it down the toilet. B, apparently the guy was a hunk and somebody needed the date for their family's Thanksgiving.

Or C, as the customer put it, quote, my brother-in-law's coming over and I need you on standby. I'm going to go with B. He needed A and I was like, huh, I'll call my plumber. I like your thinking, but in fact, it was A, that the homeowner had this turkey carcass, didn't know what to do with it. You're kidding. Flushed it down the toilet. This is not a problem. Just like on RuPaul's Drag Race, you might've screwed up, but you still have a chance to win it all. Next question. Plumbers sometimes have hidden talents beyond just unclogging your drain as proven by a plumber in alaska who did what a invented ranch dressing b personally mothered an orphan flock of herons or c he was a notable

tenor at the juno lyric opera hmm i Hmm. I'm going to go with C. You're going to go with, you know, I'm just going to say that's just too straightforward for our show. The answer has been hidden to you so far, but you may find it. Hidden Valley. So A, was it the ranch? Yes, it was. It was the ranch. Yes.

Yes. Oh my God. Ranch dressing. Wow. Last question. If you get this right, you win. Okay. Roy Regal was the name of a plumber who passed away in 2017, and he so loved his job that

he requested what as a tribute? A, that instead of a typical funeral, his body should be fed down a garbage disposal. B, that the Roto-Rooter Company change its name to Roto-Roy Regal. Or C, that his ashes be flushed in the toilets of every major league baseball stadium. I'm going to say C. That's exactly right. Yes. That's it?

It's it. That's what he did. He was a big baseball fan, and according to his best friend, that mission of having some of his ashes flushed in a toilet in every one of the 30 baseball stadiums, major league, was accomplished. Wow. Good for him. Isn't it great?

Bill, how did Simone do in our quiz? What a winner. She got two out of three, and that means you have snatched it away. Yes, Bill. Yes. Simone is a drag icon, activist, and the most recent winner of RuPaul's Drag Race. Simone, congratulations on everything. You are fabulous and deserving, and thank you so much for being on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

Thank you guys so much for having me. I had such a great time. Thanks a lot. Take care, Simone. That's it for our Merry Christmas holiday spectacular. We're off to find out what the hell wassail is, but before we go, Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut

Productions, Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord. Philip Godica writes our limericks, our social media superstars, Anna Choi. BJ Lederman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornbos, Lillian King, and Nancy Seychel. Our round little belly that shakes like a bowl full of jelly is Peter Gwynn.

Technical direction is from Lorna White. Our business and ops manager is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chilock. And the executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Mike Danforth. Thanks to everybody you heard today, all of our panelists, all of our wonderful guests, and of course, the inimitable Bill Curtis. Thanks to all of you for listening.

I am Peter Sagal. We'll be back next week. This is NPR.