Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - Betting on a graveyard of Cybertrucks with Mary Roach
Episode Date: August 1, 2026This week, we're live in Sonoma with special guest Mary Roach! Plus panelists Joyelle Nicole Johnson, Tom Papa, and Shane Torres talk gambling, Cybertrucks, and wrinkles.Support public media with NPR+... and enjoy perks for over 25 podcasts like this one. This show’s perks include bonus episodes, the chance to be a contestant in those bonus episodes(!), and sponsor-free listening. Learn more at plus.npr.org.See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for sponsorship and to manage your podcast sponsorship preferences.NPR Privacy Policy
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From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz.
One of full-bodied vintage with notes of oak?
Try me, Aalzo Slade.
And here's your host at the Green Music Center's Wild Hall at Sonoma State University, Peter Sago.
So excited to be here in Sonoma, California, home of so many great vineyards.
But the wine is not the reason we are here.
No, the wine is the reason we do a bad job.
job when we are here.
Later on, we're going to be joined by science writer, extraordinaire, Mary Roach,
but first, it's your turn to call in and play our games.
The number is 1-3-8-8-8-8-2-8-2-4.
Let's welcome our first listener contestant.
Hi, you're on, wait, wait, wait, don't tell me.
Hi, Peter.
Welcome back to California.
Thank you so much.
Who's calling?
My name is Sarah Beth Rothfeld, and I'm calling from Woodland Hills, California.
Woodland Hills.
Other California.
the Southern California.
Correct.
What do you do there?
Well, I'm a retired special education teacher.
That's beautiful.
We love those, yes?
Yes.
My love language is baking.
So my goal is to make my family and my friends
and everybody I come in contact slightly chubby.
Right.
And how's that going?
It's going pretty well.
And by night, I fight crime.
Yes.
Finally.
someone.
I appreciate that.
Sarah Beth, welcome to our show.
Let me introduce you to our panel.
First, a comedian you can see in his show
at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival
all through August.
It's Shane Torres.
Hi, Shane.
How are you?
Next, a comedian whose album
Yell Joy is on blonde medicine.
It's Joyle Nicole Johnson.
Hello, Sarah Beth.
Hello, Joelle.
And the host of the Breaking Bed podcast,
and a maker of a mean loaf of sourdough. It's Tom Papa. Hi, Sarah. So Sarabath, welcome to the show.
You are going to play whose Alzo this time. Alzo Slade is going to read you three quotations from this week's news.
Your job just correctly identify or explain what he's talking about. Do that. You win our prize. Any voice from our show on your voicemail. Are you ready to go?
Very ready. I can tell. Here is your first quote. It's from Forbes magazine.
it's our new favorite pastime.
Thanks to sites like Fandul, Draft Kings.
What has surpassed movies, music, and every other form of entertainment as Americans' favorite thing to do?
Ooh, yikes.
May I have a hint, please?
Well, I can tell.
You're too pure of heart to engage in this yourself.
But Fanduals, Draft Kings, does that ring any bells?
I'm too sweet.
Another hint.
I'm going to bet that you.
You'll be able to figure this out.
Oh, gambling.
Gambling.
Gambling.
Here, Americans spent $300 billion gambling.
That is more than Americans spent on movies, arts, music, and museums combined.
Yes, even museums.
So, let's face it, if art and culture want to stay relevant, we have to bet on.
I, for example, would bet $20, Odysseus doesn't make it home.
I am not good at gambling.
Are you guys?
I went to a Dodger game last night, and my friend is a big gambler.
You're in Giants territory.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And he gambled on his phone.
he had like six bets going into the...
So he's sitting at the game.
He's sitting at the game.
He's on his phone.
He had that Otani was going to get five home runs,
that the guy from the Mariners was going to get two home runs,
that it was going to be over 11.
It was going to be the combined score by halfway through the thing.
Like 10, 11 bets on this thing.
And when we left, his team won,
and he was so depressed.
because he lost like $1,500.
Wow.
Tom, is he single?
No.
Is his wife happy?
He probably will be if he keeps losing 1,500 bucks of games.
Americans bet more than $300 billion on sports.
That breaks down to $1,000 for every adult.
But I know if you just front me a couple hundred more, I can win it all back.
All right. Here, Sarah Beth, is your next quote, and it's about an electric vehicle that made history this week.
It passed the Edsel as the worst automotive flop ever.
That was Bloomberg News on the truck that's now officially the worst selling vehicle in history.
What is it? Hold on. Hold on.
What is it?
Oh, oh, the Elon Musk truck.
I want to give me to you.
It's the cybertruck
Yes, according to Bloomberg
The cyber truck has eclipsed
The Ford Edsel, the legendary
Edsel, as the worst selling car ever.
Please
Please do not clap.
The vibrations can damage
any cyber truck in the parking lot.
I got picked up in one
in an Uber.
And all I could think is like, what are you doing
with your money?
This is an insanely obnoxious,
suspensive vehicle.
there's no, there's like, they're like
$100,000. They're very expensive.
Yeah, this guy's, it needs to make it seven bucks
to take me to a Taco Bell drive-thru.
Yeah, and he's like, are you living in here?
How are you affording this?
Cybertruck sales dropped by 48%
between 2024 and 2025.
Or as Tesla put it, sales increased
by a staggering negative 48%.
The problem is there's no,
there's no gray area.
You see a cyber truck from far away.
You get close, it's still a cyber truck.
Even the red baseball cap.
I saw a guy in a red baseball cap and he was walking towards me.
I was like, oh, here we go.
And then I got close.
I was like, oh, Louisville.
That doesn't happen with the sight of it.
Nothing happens when you get closer to make you think better of it.
No, you get closer to the cyber truck and you're like, oh, this a-hole drives it.
I think there may be, I wonder if there are any cyber truck owners in the audience right now.
And I don't wonder.
The cross-section of cyber truck owners and NPR listening.
I will say if that person is here, you are very interesting.
I don't like you, but you got some, I want to talk to you.
All right, Sarah Beth, here's your last quote.
Crow's feet around the eyes gives you a bit of character.
That was a dermatologist talking about a new trend of people who are no longer trying to get rid of their what?
they're wrinkles
exactly right they're wrinkles
yeah
good news
hags
wrinkles are in
now
how you're excited
more and more people
are scaling back on those
smoothing treatments like Botox injections
because they want quote strategic
wrinkles
so right instead of paying
plastic surgeons to get rid of all wrinkles
now they're paying to get carefully chosen
forehead wrinkles
smile lines. Now, if you want to achieve the same look at home for free, just get old.
So wrinkles are hot now. Rinkles are hot now. That's cool. Yeah. I wonder if turkey necks will be in next year.
You can only hope. For about 15 years, I'm going to look like a bull mastive, so I'll be doing
great. The problem is people, apparently, are tired of having their faces frozen, right, by these treatments. A New York Dermat
biotox treatments, explaining, quote,
letting the top half of my face move more allows me to look more trusted.
I don't know.
She might kill me for saying this, but my girlfriend will get a little bit of Botox every now on it.
And then when her face gets frozen, we just do this game where I like, I go make the same face as me and I just see her struggle the whole time.
Really?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I met her parents today.
They're here.
They're really nice people.
You think they're nice.
They just couldn't move with their face.
Also, how did Sarah Beth do in our quiz?
Our baking superhero did great.
You got three out of three.
Congratulations, Sarah Beth.
Thanks for the hell.
Thank you, Sarah Beth.
Take care.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Right now panel, that it's time for you to answer some questions about this week's news.
Shane, this week we learned about a new dating trend
where singles are making decisions about their love lives
using what?
Social media?
No, God, no.
I'll give you a hint.
It's a way of finding out if that new guy really excels.
He don't have a job.
I know.
Spreadsheets?
Oh, my God.
The Wall Street Journal interviewed so-called love hackers
who claim that organizing data about their dates
like physical characteristics,
conversation topics, and of course red flags
into a spreadsheet, helps you make sense of your own preferences
and ultimately choose who to keep seeing.
They enter data, right, a variety of categories
after a first date, looks, sense of humor, employment status,
one for how they treat the server.
Mean to server, nice to server, makes out with server?
I think the spreadsheet is the red flags.
Yeah, probably, yes.
Totally, yeah.
Meanwhile, they're doing spreadsheets of all these characteristics of the guy, and the guy's like, kept a spreadsheet.
No.
Wait, I want to hear the end of the story with the server.
That was getting pretty juicy.
It was, yeah.
I had this happen to me once.
Did you really?
What happened?
I found out that she was using numbers instead of Excel, and I dumped her.
Really?
Yes.
You didn't approve of her choice of software platforms.
Excel only.
Exactly.
Coming up, our bluff the listener game
Could make you rich, but it probably won't.
Call 1-T-A-W-A-W-W-A-W-T-W-T-L-T-L-T-L-E-W-T-L-T-L-W-T-L-W-T-L-W-T-L-W-T-L-W-T-L-E-RT-W.
From NPR.
From NPR.
From NPR, W-E-R-E-SIC-C-GGAR.
This is, Wait, Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the LusSTEREGINERG.
We're playing this week with Tompah-M-L-L-L-L-L-L-LINsonsonsonson.
and here again is your host at the Green Music Center at Sonoma State University, Peter Seigle!
Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.
Call 1-8 Wait-Wa-Wat to Play Our Game in the Air.
Hi, you're on, Wait, Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.
Hi, I'm Phoebe calling in from Denver, Colorado.
Oh, I love Colorado.
I assume you do something very Denvery, like, I don't know, lead group hikes while drinking craft beer.
Yeah, what I really do is walk backwards most of the day, giving tours at two different places here
in Denver and Golden.
Really? So what are the places you give tours of? Just out of curiosity.
One is a candy factory. Can I say the name? It's Hammonds.
Wow. You actually give tours of a candy factory to the five working winners of the
Golden Ticket, I assume. Four of whom come to horrible fates.
You're living the dream. I am for a sugar-addicted person.
like me, it is absolutely the dream. Yeah.
Well, that's great. Well, welcome to the show, Phoebe.
You're going to play the game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction.
Also, what is Phoebe's topic?
Cheapeskate alert.
There are lots of ways to save money. Don't take an Uber.
Take the bus. When you dine out, just leave without paying the bill.
This week, we heard about a new way somebody pinched pennies or a panelist.
Are you going to tell you about it? Pick the one and telling the truth.
You'll win the weight waiter of your choice in your voicemail.
You ready to play?
I am so ready.
I can tell. First, let's hear from Joyelle Nicole Johnson.
couples break up all the time.
Divorces is as common as seeing your childhood hero
live long enough to become a villain.
But still, a recent couple's divorce made headlines
because the husband was too cheap.
Vicky Wong, a Taiwanese businesswoman,
can buy things for herself.
She's a successful management consultant,
whatever that means.
Her husband also matched her gangster
as one of the leading real estate agents in the region,
which is why when she told him,
the only thing she wanted for her 40th birthday
was a pair of Christian Lubiton heels.
With their famous towering stilettos
in the deep red colored bottoms,
she thought it wouldn't be a problem.
They've got money.
While opening the gift at dinner,
she was thrilled to see a pair of glossy black heels
with blood red souls.
It wasn't until she was tapped on the shoulder
for leaving red footprints
across the stage at a gala
that she realized what happened.
Her husband had bought a pair of no-name knock-offs
and colored the bottoms with Crayola brand red poster paint.
When asked for a quote, the ex who shall remain nameless, shamelessly doubled down.
I don't care how crazy rich we are.
I'm not paying a mortgage note for shoes.
A woman gets rid of her husband because he wouldn't pay for the real lupitans,
just bought knockoffs and painted the bottoms red.
Your next saving story comes from Tom Papa.
David Savaldi and two of his friends had been hiking for about seven hours up Montana's tallest mountain
on their way to froze-to-death plateau.
When he slipped on a rock and fell,
when he rolled over, he realized he had impaled himself
on one of his trekking poles.
The pole was jutting at an angle out of his armpit
and out through his back like a human popsicle.
But the scariest part for Mr. Savaldi
was the possibility of having to take
a really expensive helicopter ride off the mountain,
realizing he wasn't in pain and there was no blood,
he decided to save some money and walk back down the mountain
like a horror movie monster who can't be stopped.
After about six hours, his friends,
who thought a helicopter ride would have been really great,
started making shish kebab jokes.
And by the end, they were calling him Bob.
By 3.30 p.m. after trekking about
10 miles, Mr. Savaldi got
to the hospital. They pulled the
trekking pole out of him, which he
kept, because, hey, those
things ain't cheap.
Doesn't want to pay for a rescue helicopter,
so he walks down a
mountain with a pole completely
through him. Your last
tight wad tale comes from Shane Torres.
Boxer, Julio
the Caesar Lopres, returned to the ring
this weekend with a splash. After spending
years away from boxing, living lavishly,
and also eating lavishly, he found
himself in a position of being pretty fat and very broke. So when he needed to get his act together
for his big return to the ring, he couldn't afford a nutritionist or a coach. He had to do it
alone. Lopez spent the week before the fight trying to make weight, spending hours in sweatsuits
and saunas, but he couldn't drop the pounds. He had to think of something fast. Desperate times
call for desperate measures. So Lopez started eating handfuls of Taylor Farms lettuce. The result
was explosive. Lopez triumphed in the ring and in doing
so created the newest diet fed on TikTok
with someone calling it the ringwalk
pound drop.
He remains one of the great pound for pound
fighters of his
arrow. With this win, he could be in the
spring mix for a title shot.
Which of these stories of somebody
trying to save some money did we find in the news?
Was it from Joyel,
a man who lost his wife
when he tried to save money by buying fake lubitons
and painting them red? From Tom
Papa, a guy who simply didn't want to shell
out for the helicopter, so walk down a mountain with a pole all the way through him, or from
Shane Torres, a fighter who managed to lose the weight he needed to lose simply by eating a lot
of bagged lettuce and accepting the results. Which of these is the story of a penny pincher we found
in the news? As a Colorado and an avid hiker, you better believe the hiker story came across
my news feed this week, and the pictures are gross. I'm going with Tom.
He's chosen, obviously. Tom's story.
Well, to bring you the correct answer, we spoke to a reporter who covered the real story.
He saw one of his trekking polls, and then he thought, oh, I can't see the other one.
Well, he realized, oh, that thing is sticking out of me.
That was Remy Toome, a reporter at the New York Times talking about that frugal hiker that you knew about.
Congratulations, Phoebe. You got it right.
Tom was telling the truth.
He gets a point to us for doing that.
You win our prize for keeping up in the news.
Congratulations, and thank you so much for playing.
Thank you so much.
Thank you.
And now the game we call Not My Job.
Mary Roach is either the funniest science writer in the world or the most scientific comedian.
Her books include stiff.
That's about our bodies after we die.
Bunk on the science of sex.
Gulp on the digestive process and her newest replaceable you
is about the efforts to make spare parts for human beings.
Mary Roach, welcome to wait, wait, don't tell me.
have been reading you for decades.
I think I've read every one of your books, including the latest,
and I'm trying to see if there's a theme to your work.
I would suggest it might be
human bodies and the terrible,
awful, no-good things that can happen
to it. That is exactly right. That's really it.
That is it. How did you fall into that
specialty? It was
kind of random. I
wrote this column for
salon.com back in the day
when that was like a big... It's like an internet
magazine. How cool.
A couple of them had to do with
cadaver research.
And an agent
contacted me and said
you know, you should think about books
and maybe like look at which
columns were popular and those were popular
and he said you should think about a book about
cadavers and I thought that's a
terrible idea.
I mean
that's a little disappointing to me
only as a fan of yours because I wanted to think that it was
a lifelong interest of yours. Like
when you were little your Barbies would have been
an absolute horror show what you would have done.
Actually?
Yes?
Actually, I do recall when I was in first grade, Mary Hewitt gave me a Barbie doll, and I was kind of like,
because I liked the little plastic dinosaurs.
I wasn't really into the Barbies.
So I would pull off the head, and I would say, you have five seconds to get the head back on
or she dies.
Really?
So you were playing with like weird transplantation-themed games?
even then. And you know, yes. And you know what? That's actually accurate. Yeah. If you got it back on.
So even you knew. So in other words, if I were to, if something horrible would happen and your head would be just
accidentally screwed off, we'd have five seconds to get it back on. Yeah, more or less, give or take.
Okay. That's important safety tip, everybody.
So as long as no one panics, you'll be fine. Yeah. Exactly.
Breathe or you can't.
So your latest, your new book, Replaceable You, it's about replacement parts, the long history of trying to acquire them, make them, grow them.
How did you become interested in that?
Well, I had a file folder called Bits and Pieces.
And I thought, you know, when I'm looking for a new topic, I kind of go back to the file cabinet.
And I was looking in bits and pieces.
and I was thinking about fat.
Like maybe fat could be something.
Sure.
And then I called this woman who works in a lab that has to do with fat,
but it turns out it's stem cells from fat.
I thought, oh, stem cells kind of interesting.
But then the conversation kind of veered,
and she told me she had come across a study by a surgeon
who rebuilt a man's penis using his middle finger.
and I of course
pictured the finger
like removed just as it is
and like
able to kind of beckon
or maybe
given the company maybe point and select
you know
exactly
and I thought I will
he happened to be in Tbilisi
Georgia
sure yeah I'm like I'm going
and the surgeon wasn't there
but
his receptionist said
you can come in and we can look in
on his laptop and he has photographs
and I don't need to describe
many of them but one of them I want to
because
it was a demonstration
of how robust this penis was
and it does in fact
bend up
partway. Does it? Yes.
In a strange place.
I'd love to see how this guy texts
people.
He said it was robust.
It was robust.
Joyo, just sit this one out.
I wrote that damn.
How quickly after they described this, did you find this man?
Well, he only had four fingers.
He was probably, he could see him.
I have to ask, is it true that you once lived every American's dream
and almost vomited on Tom Cruise?
That is actually true.
That is true.
I had a very short-lived and misguided career interviewing celebrities for a like parade magazine Sunday.
You know, like not a high point in the career.
But, and they liked to send me out to do something with the celebrity.
And Tom Cruise, as you may know, likes to fly.
And he had a little like antique biplane.
And the thing with those antique biplane.
planes is that it's an open cockpit and the passenger sits in front and he was doing a barrel
rolls and hammer heads which we'd go all straight up cut the engine and then you pull out right and he did
two of those and i was suddenly very ill and i thought if i throw up it goes right back
His face.
And I made it back to the ground without.
Really?
Yeah.
Was he impressed?
No.
He was not impressed.
Did he ask you if you wanted to do that?
Yeah, it sounds like he was trying.
Well, you know what?
After the first hammerhead, he said, you're doing great.
And I was so excited that I was kind of, and I'm like, let's do another one.
And then I was like, green.
And you almost threw up and he said, I need to find a career that nauseates me less than that.
Well, Mary Roach, it is a pleasure to talk to you.
We've invited you here, though, to play a game we're calling
Bonk, gulp, grunt, meet Zoom, Bang, Bam.
So you've written the books, Bonk, gulp, and grunt.
So we thought we'd ask you about some other crazy sounds.
Get two or three right, and you will win our prize for one of our listeners.
Also, who is Mary Roach playing for?
Jonathan Foist Bong of San Carlos, California.
All right.
Ready to play?
Uh-huh.
Here we go.
Also, what's Mary's first sound?
Zoom.
An Ohio State Senator was attending a Zoom meeting about distracted driving,
and he used a fake office background to hide the fact that he was himself at that moment during the meeting driving.
But he was busted.
How?
Was it, A, he went through a Wendy's drive-thru and placed an order without muting himself.
B, he rear-ended another participant.
in the meeting who was doing exactly the same thing,
or C, people in office chairs don't normally wear seat belts.
I'm going with C.
You're right.
Yes.
The other participants noticed that he was wearing a shoulder belt
while sitting supposedly at his desk.
Alzo, what noise is next?
Bang!
So combat, as you know, you read a book about it,
is full of bangs,
but the Royal Navy once came under critical.
when it was revealed, they were doing what to get their sailors ready for the strife of battle?
Was it A, they used water balloons instead of hand grenades.
B, they told their gunners to shout bang instead of firing off live rounds.
Or C, they helped cadets get used to the stress of battle by showing them war movies, but really loudly.
I'm going to go with B.
You're going to go with B that they were told their gunners to shout, bang, you're right.
In training, the sailors would load a shell.
the gun and then they'd all yell, bang.
People thought it was silly, but it did save the Navy about $5 million, though.
All right.
Alzo, one more please.
Bam.
Celebrity chef.
Emerald Lagasse is known for his catchphrase.
Bam!
Which he does whenever he throws something into the food.
He says he came up with, bam, for one reason only, what was it?
A, everybody misheard him when he was yelling about adding ham to a dish.
The stuck.
B, he was filming at one point.
eight episodes a day and screaming,
Bam, was the only way to keep everybody awake
or C, because he
couldn't pass the sensors with his
prior catchphrase, and here's some
effing spices.
It's either
B or C.
I'm not going to tell you. This sounds like an even
split. It does.
C. We're going to go for C, because he
couldn't get away. He was saying, there's some F and spices.
That he said, bam. No,
it was actually B. It was B. God.
Yeah, he's just trying to keep his crew awake by yelling bam at random moments.
Also, how did Mary Roach doing our quiz?
She did a Zoom Bang, Bam, of a job, two out of three.
That's good for you.
She's a best-selling science author.
Her new book is Replaceable You.
You can see her on tour this fall.
More information is at Maryroach.net.
Mary Roach, thank you so much for joining us again.
In just a minute, the barn door is open in our listener of Limerick Challenge called
1-3-8-Wait-Wait to join us on the air.
We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait-Wait-W-W-W-W-T-L-T-L-Me?
from NPR.
WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me,
the NPR News Quiz.
I'm Aalzo Slade.
We're playing this week with Joelle Nicole Johnson,
Tom Papa, and Shane Torres.
And here again is your host
at the Green Music Center
at Sonoma State University, Peter.
College Fund and the listener Limerick Challenge.
If you'd like to play, give us a call
of 1-3-8-8-8-8-2-4.
That's 1-88-9-24.
Right now, panel, several questions
for you from the week's news.
Shane, the governor of a province in Turkey, was ousted from office after photographs surfaced of him doing what?
I'm going to need a clue.
Yeah, well, it's not, I don't know, it's not a crime to love spandex and appropriate butt cushioning.
He was exercising, he was exercising in a breakthrough way and wearing, what a, I don't exercise.
I don't exercise.
What are you doing to me?
Ask Alzo that question.
I don't wear them, though.
He has too much self-respect.
Anybody know?
Bike pants.
Bike shorts.
Yeah.
He was forced from office
because he was photographed
wearing bike shorts.
And he should be.
Yeah.
He was forced out of office
for being caught in public
wearing skin-tight black bike shorts.
If that sounds harsh,
just take a second.
Think of a politician.
First one comes to mind.
Now think of him in bike shorts.
See?
to be fair to the governor
he was in fact riding a bike at the time
to be fair to everybody else that is no excuse
they got some different standards over there in Turkey
they do yeah photo circulated of him in bike shorts
it became a huge scandal
one political opponent said in the Turkish parliament
a governor cannot wander a city like this
after his ouster his supporters were sad to see him go
but they love to watch him leave
was he wearing those little clipy shoes
So he made a little clatter noise when he laughed in his clothes were up in the air.
He's currently a very hot Peloton.
Exactly.
Peter, one day we should show up to show at Biker's Shorthon.
Absolutely. We should absolutely do that.
And then we'll have to find other jobs.
Tom, robotics is a company that has marketed AI-powered sex robots.
But now they have a new model of a robot that they say will serve in what other role?
I can't say it
So the robot
Does something else
Something else
And it's going to be put into
Schools in New York State
Because it's going to be a
Lunch Lady
No
A mean custodian
No
It's right there in front of you
In a school it's going to be a
Teacher
Exactly right
Assistant teachers
assistant teachers. A robotics company, RealBotics, insists to this day that their $175,000
female-shaped robot called Aria is meant for companionship and not for sex. But more recently,
the company struck a deal with a school district in New York State to deploy another one of its
robots called Sally as a teacher's assistant. They say, she also a very attractive
replica female
can answer science and math questions
the students might have.
Great, it's like if you're a calculator, had boobs.
Stop making them attractive.
Stop making them attractive.
Also, we made those in the wrong order. The teacher should have
come first. You think so? Yeah.
Yeah, and look like my dad.
I guarantee you. You send a teacher out there
robot a teacher that looks like my dad.
No one's going to try anything funny with me.
You're asking for trouble.
It's true.
Now, interestingly, the teaching doll, unlike the original doll, only costs $57,000, which makes her the most realistic doll yet.
The second she went into education, she took a 70% pay cut.
Coming up, it's lighting, fill in the blank, but first it's the game we have to listen for the rhyme.
If you'd like to play on air, call to leave a message at 1-3-8-8-8.
Wait, wait, that's 1-88-9-24-9-9-24.
You can see us most weeks at the studio, Billinger.
theater in Chicago and catch us on the road will be at the Rose Music Center outside of Dayton, Ohio,
on September 3rd, and in Omaha, Nebraska on September 24th for tickets and info to all our live
events, go to nprpresents.org. Hi, everyone, wait, wait, wait, don't tell me. Hey there, Peter. Hi, who's this?
Alan Martin from Long Beach, Washington. Long Beach, Washington. I didn't know there was a Long Beach
in Washington. Where's that? Not many people do. Right on the Oregon border. Yeah, about two hours
East, west of Portland.
So you're two hours east and west of Portland.
Yeah, something like that.
Something like that.
Two hours west of Portland.
Yes.
hilarious.
Do you know where you are right now, sir?
rerouting.
Alan, welcome to the show.
Alzo Slade is going to read you three news-related limericks
with a last word or phrase missing from each.
If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly
and two of the limericks will be a winner.
You ready to play?
Born ready.
Hey.
Here's your first limberick.
Once jeans were so pre-stressed and ripped.
Now they're made to look like they have slipped.
Since kids have a taste for exposing their waist,
the fly of their jeans isn't...
Right, zipped!
This summer's its jeans are jeans that make it look like your fly is down.
They're called foldover jeans,
as in your grandmother would fold over her grave
if she saw you wearing this.
They're called fold over jeans
because of, quote,
the sliver of fold and fabric
sewn down at the waist,
which is often printed like underwear
with tiny flowers or stripes,
to give the illusion of a totally open fly.
Wow, if only I had a finger penis,
I could zip it up.
Moving on.
Here's your next limerick.
With the soda scent,
I like to prep me.
A fine cola, vanilla can rep me.
I will cover my stink with a cool fountain drink.
I will smell like a cold can of Pepsi.
Pepsi, yes.
Everyone is excited for the release of Pepsi body care products.
And by everyone, we mean 13-year-old boys and beads.
Starting this week, you can buy the Pepsi vanilla slushy body scrub or the Pepsi Wild Cherry Body Wash.
which is, quote, inspired by Pepsi Wild Cherry.
Mmm.
Sticky.
I love that this is going to get the men who use X body spray laid.
Finally.
Finally.
All right, here's your last limerick.
At IKEA, we strive to improve.
We'll get out of our flimsy shelf groove.
So toss that hex wrench for your foldable bench.
now our furniture last through a
come on audience give me some help here
can you hear them
no
so it rhymes with improve
and groove
and the furniture will last
through a move
move yes
we all know the rituals of moving
you throw one last party you package up
gently your prized heirlooms and you throw
out everything you ever bought for my
because that stuff dissolves when exposed to a slight breeze.
Well, IKEA is launching a new line of furniture designed to be sturdy enough for people who move a lot,
like college students and identity thieves.
The new line is called Kornsdufer, probably.
It features built-in handles for carrying.
It's made of sturdier materials like solid pine and steel so it can handle the stress of moving, fine, fine.
That's not what we need, IKEA.
we need you to commit to your bit
and give us single use
disposable couches.
Does anyone go back to IKEA
or you just go once, build an apartment
and realize I'm never going?
It's my favorite restaurant.
Yeah.
Also, how did Alan do in our quiz?
Alan did all right. He got three out of three.
Congratulations.
Well done.
Congratulations, Alan.
You got them.
Thank you so much for playing.
Take care, everybody.
Now on to our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank.
Each of our players will have 60 seconds
in which to answer as many fill-on-the-blank questions
as they can.
Each correct answer now worth two points.
Alzo, can you give us the score?
Absolutely.
Tom has a whopping four.
Joyo has two and Shane.
You just got one, buddy.
It's a good one, though.
It's a good one, Shane.
You don't just make my comeback that much more traumatic.
Exactly.
So, Shane, you are in third place, so you're going to go first.
The clock will start when they begin your first question,
fell in the blank.
On Wednesday, the Federal Reserve voted to keep blanks steady.
Rates.
Right, interest rates.
On Tuesday, Japan deployed thousands of troops to help with rescue and recovery
after a powerful blank struck the country.
Earthquake.
Right.
For the second time in its history, the Red Cross declared an emergency over the lack of blank donations.
Blood donations.
Right.
On Wednesday, NASA confirmed plans to launch the new Nancy Grace Roman Space Blank in August.
rocket space telescope
at a government conference this week attendees noticed that a U.S. made map of Africa
had mislabeled blank
most of it
yes in fact pretty much
they mislabel literally every country in Africa
on the map of Africa on Thursday European nations announced a boycott
over FIFA's plan to privatize the blank
World Cup right on Thursday Apple announced a new program
that would allow customers to lease the newest blank
iPhone right this week a wailing museum
in New Bedford is drawing attention
after someone posted a one-star review
calling it blank.
Boring?
They called the Whaling Museum,
quote, the worst aquarium ever.
It can be confusing at first
when you visit the New Bedford Whaling Museum.
There's nowhere to know it's a museum
and not an aquarium other than by reading its name
and all the big signs.
The man who posted the review
must have been disappointed that instead of live whales,
there were just old skeletons.
The review went viral, but it isn't even the reviewer's first one-star rating.
They also said that Fogo de Chow was the worst petting zoo they'd ever been to.
How did Shane do in our quiz?
Shane actually did all right.
He got six right for 12 more points.
He has 13 and the lead.
Wow.
Thanks for throwing in actually.
That's always helpful.
Joyell, you're up next, fill in the blank.
On Thursday, the U.S. launched a new wave of strikes against targets in blank.
Iran.
Right, according to a new study, taking a daily blank can help curve heavy drinking.
Vitamin.
No, GLP 1 pill.
This week, Poland is accusing Blank of firing a missile into their territory.
Israel.
No.
Not yet, anyway.
Russia.
According to new reports, arrests by Blank at airports are surging.
X?
Right.
This week, Blank announced plans to host a new cooking show.
Oh, Martha Stewart.
RFK Jr.
Ew.
Roadkill, every day.
On Monday, Emily Wilson, a translator of the blank
criticized Christopher Nolan's movie adaptation.
Odyssey.
Yes, this week, ESPN announced a deal
to produce a last dance-style documentary about blank.
Michael Jackson.
No, LeBron James.
This week, a man in Japan,
who regularly practiced guitar at full volume in his house
was shocked when his neighbors banded together and blanked.
Jumped him.
Had him arrested.
The man in Kyoto was arrested after his neighbors flagged that his seven years of playing guitar
had seemingly caused damage to their hearing.
According to the police, the man also placed a radio by the window and left it playing 24 hours a day.
See, when we say support public radio, this is exactly what we knew.
Alzo, how did Joyal do in our quiz?
Well, she seemed like she had fun.
Three right for six more points total of eight.
Shane is still in the lead.
All right.
How many then does Tom Papa need to win?
He needs five to win.
Ready, Tom?
I'm ready.
Here we go.
This is for the game.
On Wednesday, funeral services were held in South Carolina for Senator Blank.
Lindsay Graham.
Right.
On Tuesday, a judge blocked Minnesota from implementing a law banning blank markets.
Betting.
Yeah, prediction markets.
This week, GOP Senate members postponed a key vote in the confirmation
of Todd Blanche as Trump's new blank.
Attorney General.
Right.
During a performance this week,
Katie Perry got trapped crowd surfing
in a giant rolling inflatable ball
because the fans blanked.
Popper.
No.
They refused to roll her back onto the stage.
On Thursday, dental researcher
said they discovered a way to stop blanks
without drilling.
Cavities.
Right.
This week, people are accusing Canadian politician Bill Oliver
of using AI to write his speeches
because he said blank halfway through an address
to the legislature.
Because he said,
I love Trump.
No.
He talked for a while
and then he said,
here is a more natural
flowing version of that section.
It reads like a legislative speech
rather than a series of short points.
Mr. Oliver read the chat bot's commentary
about the speech out loud,
not one but three separate times
throughout the address.
You know it's a boring speech
when even the guy
who is reading it is not listening.
Alzo, did Tom do well enough to win.
Oh, he got four right for eight more points.
Total of 12, which means sane has one of the greatest comeback
in wait, wait, history.
He is the winner.
My big college moment.
His in-laws are here.
That's true.
It's all because of what Sally taught him.
Poor Sally.
In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists to predict,
now that wrinkles are in,
what will be the next surprising beauty trend.
But first, let me tell you that,
wait, wait, don't tell me is a production of NPR and WBEZ.
Chicago, an association with urgent aircraft productions,
Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord.
Philip Godica writes our Limericks,
our public address announcer is Paul Friedman.
Our ops manager is Jsera Vardak.
B.J. Lederman composed. Our theme.
Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles, Norbas, and Lillian King.
Special thanks this week to Mohanad El-Shehi.
Peter Gwyn is our third.
Somelier. Emma Choi is our vibe curator, technical directions from Lorna White.
Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chilog
and the executive producer. Wait, wait, don't tell me is Michael Danforth. Now panel, what would
be the next big beauty trend? Shane Torres. Big butts out. Long flat ones are in.
Doyle Nicole Johnson. Mary Roach's robust enlargements.
And Tom Popup. Open-toed crocs that highlight older men's toes.
And if any of that happens, we'll ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.
Thank you so much, Alzo Slade.
Thanks also for Shane Torres, Joyel, Nicole Johnson, and Tom Papa.
Thanks to the staff and crew here at the Green Music Center.
Special thanks to member stations, K-Q-E-D, K-A-L-W and K-R-C-B.
Thanks to our fabulous audience who came out to see us in Sonoma, California.
And thanks to all of you, wherever you might be, for listening.
I'm Peter Sagan.
We'll see you next week.
is NPR.
