Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - Breaking News from Wait Wait: Our new Judge and Scorekeeper is announced!

Episode Date: June 4, 2026

The orange smoke is rising from the chimney of the Studebaker Theater, which can only mean one thing: the time has come to name our new Judge and Scorekeeper!See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for sponsorship and to manage your podcast sponsorship preferences.NPR Privacy Policy

Hey, everybody, it's Peter dropping into your podcast feed with a special announcement. As you all know, Bill Curtis recently retired as our judge and scorekeeper. Only the second one this show has ever had. Don't worry, Bill will still be around. You can still win his voice on your voicemail. But the orange smoke has risen from the chimney at the Studebaker Theater, which means that today, right here, right now. It is time to announce our new judge and scorekeeper.

Ladies and gentlemen, it is my honor to introduce to you making his official debut at this week's show in Austin, Texas. Alzo Slade! What's up, Peter? We put a lot of gravity into that introduction. I did, man, I did. Nobody can see me. I still haven't figured out on the radio, but I kind of extended my arms and like a big, hey, everybody, like Avita type thing when I said your name. I felt all of that.

I just hope the, you know, the reveal lived up to the introduction. You have done everything. You started as a panelist. You sat in my chair, even though there's no chair. You've been a guest host, and now you're going to be the judge and scorekeeper after doing it on, you know, like a practice basis, filling in for Bill many times. So what were you, you've done all the jobs. What's the most exciting thing about the one you ended up with? I don't have to write a bluff.

Yes, no preparation at all. It's great. You know. No, I don't have to write a bluff. But I will say, I will say the tradeoff for not having to write a bluff is trying to get the rhythm of the limericks right. That's a bit nerve-wracking. It's hard, isn't it? You know?

Yeah, it's not, it's not, Bill makes it look so easy. Yes. So easy. And that's just one of many praises I can heap upon Bill. But when it comes to that limerick, you know, it's like, okay. Is that right? I don't know if that's right. No, it was terrible, but we'll work on it. It's okay. It's all right. Now, one thing that Alzo here has in common with Bill is that he also has had an amazing and varied career.

So Alzo has been a stand-up comedian and he's been a journalist, a philosophy professor, and a lot more. So we thought we'd let you know a little more about him, fittingly, in the form of a a quiz. So it is time to welcome a listener contestant to this special podcast episode. Hi, you're on wait, wait, wait, don't tell me, sort of. Hi, this is Dahlia Hoffman. Hey, Dahlia, where you're calling from? I'm calling from Swickley, Pennsylvania by way of 30 years in Chicago, Illinois. Oh, really? How could you ever leave this wonderful city in the lake? Oh, my true love was in Swickley. Here I am. Well, good for you, Delia. Listen, we're glad you joined us today. You were going to going to play a special new game, one that we've never played before and probably never will again,

it's called Meet Alzo Slade. So I'm going to ask you three questions about Alzo. True things that he has done. Get two of these questions right. You will win our prize, just like on the regular radio show, are you ready to play? I am. Okay. So Alzo Slade, our new judge and scorekeeper, has won many honors in his life, including which of these? A, as a senior in high school, he was voted most likely to be a judge and scorekeeper. B, he was recently named acting director of national intelligence, or C, he won the Mr. Prairie View A&M University beauty pageant. I'm going to go with C. You're right. So Alzo, or should I say Mr. Prairie View A&M University, you tell me this, so I'm going to believe you, this was like legit a beauty pageant. You had to like dress up and look good and answer questions on stage?

Yeah, they didn't call it a beauty page. pageant. It was just the Mr. Prairie View page. You had to do, you had to get on stage and do an opening quote. You had, there were categories like formal wear, sportswear. You had to do an interview. And I have you know, I dressed up as a race car driver. Had a helmet and the suit. And let me tell you what I did, Peter. Offstage, off stage, on the side of the stage, I had one of those little plastic race cars that kids get in and pedal. Yes. So I got in my suit with the helmet all stage and I peddled onto the stage in the car,

like knees to chest, driving it, and got out, modeled my suit, got back in and tried to pedal. But you know, like, the floors were slick. So as I'm pedaling, the tires are moving, but the car isn't moving. So one of the other fellow contestants had to come out and give me a little push to get me started so I can continue to pedal off the stage. Wow. All right. Very good.

You got that right, Dahlia. Another question. Here we go. Alzo is not just a pretty face. He is also very accomplished in many other areas. For example, Alza was once offered, for real, what job, A, touring around the world with Prince as part of his personal photography. team, B, acting director of national intelligence, or C, narrator for the movie Anchorman. Ooh, that's a tough one.

How about A? How about A? You're right. Yes, this is a story Aalzo told me one night after a show, and I couldn't believe it. So, Alzo, what was that like? I mean, Prince, I mean, I think everyone can imagine Prince being somewhat of an enigma. he's a musical genius and that's pretty much

his personality was like he's cool, he wasn't necessarily off-putting but my interaction with him was which photos of these do you like the best which one of these do you like the least and that's it. All right. You're doing great, though. You've sussed it out two out of three

let's see if you can go for perfect. Alzo won a Peabody Award for his work as a journalist with Vice. He covered stories from clergy who lose their faith in God to using cheetah urine as an aphrodisiac. And I should know strictly for cheetahs. Just cheetahs, okay? Good ideas. But there was one thing that Alzo says Vice asks him to do and he turned them down.

What was it? A, wrestle a bear while visiting the Russian Republic of Dagestan. B, sing backup for the K-pop band BTS, or C, serve as the. the acting director of national intelligence. I'm going to go with A. You're going to go with A wrestling a bear. That's right. So also, again, the questions are obvious.

I speak for everyone. Why were you in Dagestan and why did your producer want you to wrestle a bear? And why did you say no? You know, it's crazy. I've never thought about the things that I've done in this way, but putting it in quiz form, like, this is weird. It's a little strange, isn't it? It's a little strange.

Yeah, so, you know, We put ourselves in some pretty gnarly situations to tell stories. And in the UFC at that time, there were about, I don't know, 28 to 30 Russians who were fighters. And a little over 20 of those Russians were from Dagestan, and they had like a 90% win rate. And so the story was us going to Dagestan and me training with them to see what they're putting in the water to make them such great fighters. And one of the most famous fighters to come out of there is Khabib. And he famously wrestled a bear at nine years old. And the producers at Vice had the great idea of, hey, Aalzo, wouldn't it be amazing if you wrestled a bear for the story? And I was like, no.

Are you crazy? And then they had the nerve to say, well, let's just be a cub that'll be declawed. I don't care. Well, Alzo, since you are now, the official judge and scorekeeper of Wait Wait, Wait, Don't tell me. I'm going to ask you the question. How did Dahlia do in our quiz? Dalia did amazing. And thank you so much for participating.

Dalia, you are, you're like the first. quiz participant of me as an official judge and scorekeeper. So I think we will always be connected for life. Oh, that's amazing. And you did a great job. Thank you so much. Dahlia, thank you so much for joining us today. Thank you and thanks for, you know, giving Alzo a great little inaugural experience as our official guy.

Thank you, Dahlia. You're welcome. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Alzo, it is so great that you are going to be my partner in crime and radio. on stage. I'm so looking forward to your official debut. Wait a minute, Peter. Before we, before we depart, I think it proper that I give respect to my predecessor, Bill Curtis, because, you know, people say, I'm replacing Bill

Curtis. There is no replacing Bill Curtis. That's how I feel when it comes to Bill Curtis. And I remember every time that I, at least if I've, if I've subbed in for Bill Curtis, 10 times, let's just say 10 times for the easy math. After the show, people will come up and say, we were really looking forward to seeing Bill Curtis, but you did a great job. Well, you know. It's better than they did that than just walk up and say, we were really looking forward to see Bill Curtis and then turn him walk away. And then turn and walk away. So I say all that to say much respect and credit and props to the legendary Bill Curtis. And I look forward to continuing to disappoint people on the road when they see that is Alzo Slade instead of Bill Curtis.

And I can only hope to live up to the legacy that he's created in that space. I have a feeling that the Alzo Slade area is going to be pretty spectacular in its own right. So thank you, Alzo, for joining us today. Thanks, everybody, for listening to the special podcast episode. We'll be back in your feed with Alzo's debut show as our official Judson Scorekeeper this weekend, live from Austin, Texas. I'm Peter Sagal, and yes, this is NPR.