Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - Chance The Rapper

Episode Date: November 6, 2021

Chance The Rapper plays our game called, "Chance, Meet Community Chest," three questions about Monopoly. He is joined by panelists Bobcat Goldthwait, Brian Babylon and Negin Farsad at the Harris Theater in Chicago.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm the man who loves you. I'm Bill Coe, Bill Curtis, and here is your host at the Harris Theater in Chicago, Illinois, a man who actually left his house today. It's Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. And thank you, actual people. It is great to see you all.

We are so excited to be back in front of our friends here at home in Chicago after 20 months away. And I think I speak for all of us here on stage to you guys in the audience when I say, you all look great. If that wasn't enough to make you happy, you came. Later on, we're going to be joined by Chicago's own Chance the Rapper. But first, America, it's your turn. Give us a call. We're at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Hi, you are on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Gia from Scotts Valley by way of the Philippines.

Wow, okay, Gia, where is Scotts Valley? It's Bay Area adjacent. Right. Just before the beautiful Monterey Coast. Oh, wow, that's very nice. What do you do there? I'm a clinical psychologist by training, and I'm woefully untrained in being the mother of 11-year-old twins.

11-year-old twins! Yeah. Wow. Okay, this is true. I happen to have a dear friend who just had twins, and she said she's worried because identical twins always end up weird. That's a quote. So hopefully she's listening.

Can you reassure her? Oh, I can reassure her she has nothing to worry about. They will be weird. Don't worry about it if you're listening out there. Well, Gia, welcome to our show. Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First up, it's the comedian and host of the Babylon Beat on KBLA Talk 1580 in Los Angeles. And on the KBLA 1580 app, it's Brian Babylon.

Hey, hey, how are you? Next, a comedian and host of the podcast Fake the Nation. You can also see her stand up in the Adult Swim Comedy Festival, November 12th and 13th. It's Nagin Farsah. Hello. And finally, starring alongside Dana Gould in his new comedy tour documentary, Joyride, is now available on VOD Everywhere. It is Bobcat Goldthwait.

Hi, Gia. Hi. So, Gia, welcome to the show. You're going to play, of course, Who's Bill? This time, Bill Curtis right here is going to read you three quotations from the week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain two of them, you will win our prize. Any voice from our show you might choose for your voicemail. Ready to go?

Sure. Let's do it. Yeah, let's do it. Your first quote is from a leading Democratic strategist, Howard Wolfson. Last night's rain is going to look like a tiny drizzle because a hurricane is coming. He was using that painfully extended metaphor to talk about something that did not go well for his party this week. What? The midterm elections. Yes, well, not quite the midterms, the off-year elections, but we'll give it to you. Off-year.

Yeah, it was an off-year. It was a bad day for Democrats on Tuesday as somebody somewhere forgot to have the Dominion voting machines switch all the votes to their side this time. Now, part of the problem, at least according to Democrats, was that people were not engaged enough. I mean, it's like voting again, we're still clearing debris from the last insurrection. And cable news, I don't know if you saw this, cable news desperately tried to make people care. MSNBC put Steve Kornacki in a much tighter pair of pleated chinos. CNN, even for the first time, showed us Wolf Blitzer backstage during his eerie transformation. You know what?

He does have wolfman tendencies. I just realized that. Yeah. But he was bit by a yawn. That's why he transformed. Exactly. Exactly. Wait, I feel a little attacked because I voted on Tuesday.

Yes. And in New York City. And you know who I ran into there while I was voting? I ran into nobody. I had the entire polling place to myself. Like I stole dozens of stickers from the government. And yeah, I guess there was a little bit of a turnout problem. Because Democrats were like, oh, God, we've got to do this again.

And Fox News, right, told their viewers they were the only thing stopping the country from being taken over by woke communist zombies. They were all excited. Democrats, you know, they were like, yeah, okay. They walked away from the polls with stickers saying, I voted?

Our favorite election story, and this is true, was a guy named Vito Perillo, who won re-election as a mayor in a town in New Jersey at the age of 97. He ran on his healthcare platform, which was leeches. It's so great to have a politician in New Jersey who remembers how they used to do it in old Jersey. This guy entered politics at 93. Wow. Was just reelected and says he wants to run again. It's like an inspiration for Biden's second term.

Yeah. I mean, if Joe Biden came out with leeches on. What? What? Come on. That's how you energize a party. Leeches, yo. All right, Gia, your next quote is from an eight-year-old boy named Carter.

I'm ready to trash my mask. Carter is throwing away his mask because of the news this week that he and other children can finally get what? Oh, the COVID vaccine. Yes, the COVID vaccine. Yes, everybody's excited. It's finally, it's received official approval for children between

5 and 11 years old. The news was announced this week by a third grader in a Dr. Fauci Halloween costume. With a sexy Dr. Fauci Halloween costume. With a sexy Dr. Fauci costume? Is there any other kind? No, seriously. You're right. You're right. It's redundant, man. Dr. Fauci is sexy Dr. Fauci.

You should know that the child vaccine is a little different than the adult vaccine. It's one-third of the dose and it's administered via nerd ropes and it will be marketed under the name My Little Covey. Oh. You know what?

It's like this. My little Covey, my little Covey, watch me braid her hair. We're all vaguely alarmed that you know that song. The My Little Pony jingle was gold, and whoever made that, they reached me, and I wasn't even there to mark it. This is great news for parents,

terrible news for people who have enjoyed how quiet restaurants have been the last few months. Biden has upped emergency production of those placemats with mazes on them. Are kids nowadays scared of needles like we were? Oh, I've never met a child who likes them. My two-and-a-half-year-old got her flu shot a couple weeks ago, Virtue Signal, and she was like, what needle?

Bring it. Like, she did not care about this needle. Yeah. To hell with your sticker. You don't need needle. Yeah. To hell with your sticker. You don't need that. Yeah. Are there, like, children, like, pre-tween anti-vaxxers? I mean, are there children that are going to have to sneak the vaccine

in Sunny Delight in Mountain Dew? They've been radicalized by Paw Patrol. Yeah. All cops, even Paw Patrol. Yeah. All cops, even Paul. Yeah. All right, Gia, here's your last quote. Cheer up. Don't worry.

Have a better attitude. Those words, if offered by a friend or loved one in a time of sadness, says new research, can make you feel what? Even more depressed. Exactly. They make you feel worse. This strategy of offering forced good cheer on people who are sad now has a name, according to the Wall Street Journal. The name is toxic positivity. Toxic positivity. Sometimes people don't want to be told it'll all work out. They just want

sympathy. This is great news for people who want to be toxic without the masculinity. I hate this term. It's so curmudgeonly to dislike someone being positive. There are two people of your five million listeners, Peter, who have emailed me to say that they don't like that I laugh during the show. And those are the two people that coined this term. Really?

They don't want anyone enjoying the comedy. What kind of comedian are you that you laugh at other comedians? What's your angle? What's your problem? It's a gimmick. You know, some people have a funny voice, some people laugh. Easy, easy.

Wait, but there's some instances where you absolutely need positivity, like when you're about to go into surgery, if your doctor was like, hey, I don't know how this is going to work out. Alright, can you count back from 10? Yeah.

Like, that's... There are a lot of things a surgeon can say, like, that would be bad. Like, well, there's a first time for everything. Bill, how did Gia do in our quiz? Gia, we love having you here because you got a perfect score. Congratulation, Gia. Good luck with those twins. Take care. Thank twins. Take care.

Thank you. Take care. Bye. Bye-bye. I'm happy, happy, happy. I'm happy, happy, happy. I'm happy, happy, happy. I'm happy, happy. Right now, panel, it is time for you to answer some

questions about this week's news. Bobcat, at least one person, is very happy about the UN Climate Change Conference this year. Greta Thunberg's dad. Why did he enjoy this year's conference far more than any of the prior ones? Because she wasn't home. You're very close. I'll give you a hint.

It's like when your daughter finally gets her driver's license. That she could go on her own? Yes, that he didn't have to go. Oh, okay. No chaperone. Greta Thunberg turned 18 this year, which means she is a legal adult and could travel by herself. Asked if he might want to go anyway to stand beside her,

her father said, and this is a real quote, hell no. You know, he's gone all over the world with her, including that trip across the Atlantic. He's like happy to be home. But her mother must miss this time together, right? She says, quote, we have other things to do. That is cold. You know what, they're probably going to call that toxic realness. No, it's so weird because all other parents are annoyed that they have to

take their kids to soccer practice. These guys had to take their kids to yell at Putin. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. Home when you're tired of roaming home, where the love is all homegrown. There's a welcome sign and everything's fine because the sun will shine at home. Coming up, it's beginning to look a lot like a Christmas-themed bluff, the listener game.

Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We're playing this week with Bob Gat-Golthwaite, Brian Babylon, and Nagin Farsad. And here again is your host at the Harris Theater in Chicago, a man who just realized he's frightened by the sound of real human applause. Peter Sagan! Thank you, Bill! Thank you, everybody! Right now! Right now!

It's time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff, the listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game in the air. Hi, you are on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. This is Sean Bishop. Hey, Sean Bishop, how are you? I'm doing fine. How are you? I'm okay. Where are you calling from? I'm calling from Louisville, Kentucky. Okay. I'm calling from Louisville, Kentucky. Okay. And what do you do there in Louisville? I am the director of human resources for the company that's responsible for bringing you the greatest two minutes in sports,

also known as the Kentucky Derby, Churchill Downs. Wow. You work in HR for the company that does the Kentucky Derby, Churchill Downs. So that could be, in your case, it could be human resources. It could be horse resources. Well, welcome to the show, Sean. Now, you're going to play our game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Sean's topic? Christmas is saved.

You can save Christmas by remembering to put Christ in there and also in other holidays, like Fallen Christ Day and the Fourth of Jew Christ. Just mentioning it. But this week we read about another way to save Christmas. Our panelists are going to tell you about it. Pick the one who's telling the truth. You'll win the weight-waiter of your choice in your voicemail. Are you ready to play? Yes, sir. All right. Your first story is from Bobcat Goldthwait. Every year the town of Narvik, Norway celebrates the beginning of the Christmas season with its annual Julenise parade. Julenise is the Scandinavian version of our Santa Claus.

The holiday season is ushered in when Julenise sled, pulled by nine reindeer, enters the town square through a throng of happy families and then lights the town's Christmas tree. That's how it's supposed to go, but this year was a near disaster. The reindeer got into an unattended box of chocolate Santas, devoured said Santas, and then quickly got explosive diarrhea. Tragedy was averted when quick-thinking local fire chief Ross Burlingame went to a nearby senior citizen's home and fitted the deer with donated adult diapers. I'm no hero, said Ross. I just was doing my best to make sure it truly was a silent night.

As a precaution next year, the parade organizers are looking into seeing if Depends makes a line of red and green holiday colors. Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, and Rudolph all refuse to be commenting on this story. A Christmas parade in Norway saved by the timely donation of adult diapers for the reindeer.

Your next story of a holiday helper comes from Nagin Farsad. So, being a Christmas mall Santa is tough. It's hard enough that toddlers across the nation immediately cry when they're forced to sit in your lap. Minded that. But now the Riverside County, California Santa Association, yes, this whole time Santas have been organized, is in a real pickle. Due to COVID protocols, they're required to use new beards, but the new beards are stuck in a shipping container alongside that couch you ordered eight months ago. That's right, supply chain has come for Santa. Now, local Santa Ronnie McPherson was despondent. Without my beard, I'm just an old fat white guy wearing velveteen.

I'm the kind of person they would expect shouting at a school board. expect shouting at a school board. Well, a resourceful group of local knitters who call themselves Riverside You Knitted has taken on this challenge by crocheting Santa beards with a special antibacterial thread. These aggressive knitters

will rib stitch, cable stitch, and yes, even herringbone stitch their way out of this just in time to save Christmas. A group of knitters in Riverside, California mass-creating new Santa beards to replace the ones lost at sea. Your last story of someone saving Christmas

comes from Brian Babylon. Sometimes Christmas isn't about gifts or big meals or colorful sweaters. Sometimes Christmas is about threatening your neighbors. A woman in Texas calling herself Liz Anya proudly posted the proof to Twitter. She says a new TV she ordered was delivered to her door inside her building and was taken by somebody. So she posted the following note, and I quote, to the person who stole my TV, bring it back and all will be forgiven. Otherwise, there will be no

Christmas in this building. I will steal every single package. I will steal every mat, every trash can. I will engage in warfare until the day I move out. It's up to you, you broke-ass b****. You have 24 hours. The next day, she posted a photo of her return TV with the caption, Good morning. As you begin your day,

remember that violence is always and often the answer. So thanks to the person who saved Christmas in that building, whoever returned that TV. Okay, Sean, here are your choices. From Bobcat, you heard a story of reindeer needing adult diapers in Norway. From Nagin, Santa's in Riverside getting new knitted beards to replace the ones that never arrived. Or from Brian Babylon, aas in Riverside getting new knitted beards to replace the ones that never arrived, or from Brian Babylon, a woman threatening her neighbors with stealing Christmas, but thankfully she was stopped.

Which of these is the real story? That reindeer story really sounds like a sticky situation. Brian read the last one of the conviction that I will have to go with the last one of such convictions that I will have to go with the last one. The last one, Brian's story of the woman who threatened

to destroy Christmas unless she got her TV back. Well, that's your choice, Brian's story. To bring you the correct answer, we spoke to someone familiar with that true story. To state that she's going to steal

every single package, every mat, every trash can. It's really awful. That was Elaine Swan. She is an etiquette... That was Elaine Swan. She is an etiquette expert and founder of the Swan School of Protocol, commenting on the woman who got her TV back

by threatening to destroy Christmas for all of her neighbors. And I notice in that quote that Ms. Swan seemed to disapprove of this tactic. But it worked. So congratulations, Sean, you got it right. It was Brian Babylon telling the truth. As you knew, you have won our prize and a point for him. Thank you so much. Thank you, Sean.

And now the game that gives us a flimsy excuse to talk to the people we admire. It's called Not My Job. Around Chicago, the origin of Chance the Rapper is as well known as that of a superhero. He got suspended from high school, spent that time at the Chicago Public Library making a mixtape, and the rest is history, multiple Grammy Awards, international tours, collaborations with everybody from Kanye to Justin Bieber, and he has founded his own social service organization, Social Works, devoted to lifting up kids in Chicago

like he used to be. Chance, welcome back to Wait, Wait, Wait. Oh, thank you, man. Wow. And thank you for that introduction. Oh, that's true. Very kind. It's true. So, we had you on the show in 2015 Summer of 2015 You were well known You were rising up in the hip hop music scene And it was right before Coloring Book came out

Huge album And so much has happened since then So much has happened since then Have you ever looked around I don't know When you're like playing in Like this White Sox baseball stadium In a concert that you organized Have you ever looked around when, I don't know, when you're like playing in like this White Sox baseball stadium in a concert that you organized or on whatever late night show

or hanging out with Beyonce where you're like, this is crazy. Yeah. I think every once in a while, every once in a while, I'm like, this is, this is cool. You know, there's no shell shock or anything. I'm just kind of living life. It is a dope lifestyle. Thank you. Yeah, no, that's not bad.

Thanks for reminding me how cool it is. You're not going to be that guy. No, it really doesn't matter. I just like to be home. No, it's cool. No, it's very cool. It's a lot of fun. You're also quite young, at least from my perspective.

Are you going to go to your 10-year high school reunion so it was that's so crazy that you just asked it was uh it was this year it was supposed to be and uh and there just really hasn't been any organizing around it that i know of i also wasn't super popular when i was in high school so there's a chance that they already did one and I didn't get invited. Really? Really? You honestly believe that your high school class is like, we're holding a reunion. Don't tell that. Yeah. Literally like it's like a secret. I don't mean that it wasn't popular. Like they, you know, would forget to tell me, but like they would intentionally. Hold on. So are you telling me there's a conspiracy to keep you away from your 10-year high school reunion? There's probably

some people I graduated with here right now texting in a group chat going, he knows, because... They enjoy me at other spaces. If I'm performing, they always come, but... We saw you... I saw you, at least to me, in an unexpected place in the photographs of the Chicago Sky when they won the WNBA championship. There you were on the court with the team. And I was like, wow, how'd you get around security?

Man, you know what? What's funny is, like, I do look at some of the pictures from the Scott, from, like, their entire, like, that end of that series and the parade, and I'm like, I probably should have fell back a little bit. But I was so excited, you know? Because I saw you there, and I was like, oh, I didn't know. It was like, Chance, like, owned the team, and they're like, no, he's just really into it. Yeah. And then I heard that you said that in celebration

of the Sky's championship that you were going to get a Chicago Sky tattoo. Did you do it? Yes. You did! Chance the Rapper, man of his word. I'm sorry, but the next question has to be where is it?

That is a very personal question. It is. But I will entertain it. I got the tattoo on my right forearm. Right forearm. Right below the bow. Right. That's cool.

Is it like logo of the team? No. I feel like I don't need, it's so crazy that you just got me to say that because I got the tattoo right after the rally a Bunch of the the players got tattoos too. We all got tattoos only my second tattoo that Wow and that's why I was keeping it under wraps because I The reason why I was gonna get the tattoo so i started going i think it was it was the round right before the finals and there was a game that they had to had to win in the finals that would put them in a position to to clinch the finals in the final round so i

had tweeted out because there were people that had doubts so i was like hey when they win, I'm going to get a tattoo. Shortly after that, I hit up my tattoo artist and had one of my best friends come over to my crib right after they won this non-championship game. We talked for a long time. Shortly after that, I was like, yeah, I'm not going to do this.

This makes no sense. I'm not going to get this tattoo. I squirted him out of my house. The tattoo artist. He said, thank you for your time. No not going to get this tattoo. So I escorted him out of my house. The tattoo artist. The tattoo artist. He said, thank you for your time. No, my friend got to stay. But not today. Yeah, but the tattoo artist had to go.

Take your ink and go, sir. Yeah. And I was like, I could get this tattoo at any time. I didn't say when I was going to get the tattoo. Right, right, right. I would get the tattoo. You're hedging. You're hedging at this point.

So I basically, a couple days later, they won the finals. And I went and celebrated with them that night. We went out and got drunk, and that's when all the players are like, I'm getting my tattoo here. Where you getting your tattoo at? And I was like, I want a tattoo. And so we all turned up. We had a great time.

It was a crazy night and then a couple days later i was still you know still still had champagne all throughout my body right and uh but i had to make it to the rally because they wanted me to come to the rally so i come to the rally and we end up you know drinking again and long story short the hangover part five it's's insane, actually, how it ended up happening. But I'm just going to end the story there because I'm at this point, I'm rambling. The point that I was trying to make was I didn't really want to make a big deal out of it after I got the tattoo. Because it's like, hey, I got the tattoo. They got tattoos.

We got tattoos. We don't have to ever talk about it again. But I don't like lying. So when you asked me, I was like, I might as well say it. Yeah. It's a good story, though. You're a man of your word. Well, it's too late.

Five million people know now, so yeah. Yeah. Well, Chance, we, in fact, love to talk to you whenever you choose to come by, but this time we've asked you here to play a game we're calling Chance Meet Community Chests. We assume, Chance, that you were named after one of the card decks of Monopoly. Yes. The other being Community Chest. You know, because Community Chest, the rapper, doesn't really fly.

So we decided, based on that connection, to ask you three questions about the classic board game Monopoly. Get two right, you will win a prize for one of our listeners. Bill, who is Chance the Rapper playing for? Anna Johnson of Chicago, Illinois. Here is your first question. The game during World War II had a very big burst of popularity

with sets being sent from home to allied prisoners of war. Why? A, to remind them of the capitalist system they were fighting for. B, because nothing makes a year in prison camp feel short in comparison than a game of Monopoly. Or C, because maps, compasses, and other escape tools were hidden inside.

I'm going to go with C. I think it's the smuggling. Yeah, it was. They smuggled an escape tool. I don't know if it worked. It would be really sad if the prisoners were like, yeah, yeah, we dug a tunnel, but, you know, we haven't finished the game yet. Next question. Monopoly is almost as famous for the fights it causes

as it is for anything else, so if you plan on playing this holiday, be sure to take advantage of what helpful resource for Monopoly players? A, an official 1-800 hotline where a mediator will help settle rules disputes. B, a small vial containing the cold virus so you can catch it and sit the game out. C, soft bumpers for the edges of the board so that when you throw it in anger, it will not hurt anyone or damage the furniture. As I recall, the corners are extremely sharp.

They are. I think it's A. You think it's A? I believe that there's a... 800 line. Yeah. That's what it is. There's an 800 line.

I set it up. You call up. Last question. There have been dozens of different versions of Monopoly, of course, but maybe the worst version of Monopoly was which of these? Communist Monopoly. B, longest game ever Monopoly, designed to take six hours or more to play.

Or C, post-apocalypse Monopoly, in which instead of buying or trading properties, you fight for them with knives. in which instead of buying or trading properties, you fight for them with knives. I want to go with the longest game one. But then you said it's only six and a half hours. Six hours.

Which doesn't sound that much longer than a regular game of Monopoly, now that I mention it. No, Monopoly takes time. The six-hour one. You're right Let's go Yes In this game It doesn't end

Till somebody owns all the properties And there's twice as many of them Bill, how did Chance the Rapper do in our quiz? Product of Chicago Public Schools Chance the Rapper won all three Chance the Rapper, one all three. Chance the Rapper is a Grammy-winning artist, and he is the founder of Social Works,

a youth empowerment charity. More information at socialworkschai.org. Chance the Rapper, thank you so much for coming. Thank you. You are the pride of Chicago. Chance the Rapper, everybody. Give it up. Give it up. In just a minute,

Bill gets Tang in his queso in the Listener Limerick Challenge. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us in the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Nagin Farsad, Bobcat Goldthwait, and Brian Babylon. And here again is your host, at the Harris Theater in Chicago, Illinois, a man who keeps looking for the end meeting button in real life.

It's Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. In just a minute, Bill covers his crab cakes with Rye Moulad sauce in our listener limerick challenge game. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. McGee, The Queen's Gambit was a hugely

popular Netflix show about a young woman who is a chess master. Well, you can now buy your own Queen's Gambit official board game, which surprisingly is not what? A chess game? It's not chess. That's exactly right. Well, that's dumb. Isn't it, though? I mean,

Netflix has announced The Queen's Gambit, the board game. The actual game is a complicated simulation of playing chess that is not playing chess. We don't know how to play it, because instead of an instruction booklet, you just are supposed to get high and stare at the ceiling. Yeah, like, is it a board game where you slowly

become an alcoholic? Yeah, I think so. I had pitched a similar series about a girl who was addicted to Oxy and played Connect 4. Because every good idea gets ripped off. Yeah. Now, we have no idea if this Queen's Gambit game is any fun or not, but we can tell you do not buy the home edition of the Squid Game. Bob got a new app in New York, promises to deliver groceries to your door. That is not new, but this new app promises what?

They'll be on time. More than just on time They're going to be there so fast They're going to be there That's it They're going to be there instantly Instant groceries That's the gimmick

Wow Remember how Domino's used to promise To deliver your pizza in 30 minutes or less But then they had to stop because somebody died Anyway You can now get your groceries delivered, says this app, in 15 minutes in certain neighborhoods in New York. All it takes is the click of a button,

lots of double parking, and hunger games-like working conditions. Why does everybody hate doing stuff anymore? Yeah, I find that weird, too. Just, like, can we all just go to the grocery store? Especially this last year, when going to the grocery store was literally the highlight of my day.

I mean. Will I fill out your survey at the end of your receipt? You bet I will. This is the highlight of my week. It's amazing. Nagin, this week a dad on TikTok realized that Disney Plus had edited the popular Australian kids cartoon Bluey for sensitive American audiences. For example, he discovered that in one episode they had removed just a moment from a scene that showed what?

Genitals. No. So they edited out a moment of... This is perfectly fine in Australia, but they decided that American audiences simply could not handle this. Oh, a character getting the vaccine. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Give what I... What? Like, give me a hint. Well, first, this magical creature says he has to drop some kids off at the pool. Oh, pooping? Yes, specifically a unicorn pooping. Oh, but their poop is so magical and beautiful. Exactly.

I mean, what's wrong with unicorns pooping? Where do you think Skittles come from? So this was censored by whoever was in charge of censoring it for America. So we can't let you see it, but they can't stop us from letting you hear it. So we have an audio clip of the offending scene that we cut out. You can decide for yourself. You're going to hear Bluey telling this unicorn that she's beautiful, then running away, and then, well, you see what happens.

Goodbye, buttermilk. You're so beautiful. No! happens. Goodbye, buttermilk. You're so beautiful. Ah! That was disgusting! Is that the real audio? It was the actual audio of an actual unicorn pooping. It sounded more like a horror picture. Coming up, it's lightning

fill in the blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. You can always click the contact us link on the website, waitwait.npr.org. And doesn't it sound like we're having fun in here? Well,

if you feel terrible because you missed out and we're not here, you can join us at our next show right here at the Harris Theater on December 9th. Tickets go on sale this Tuesday at waitwait.npr.org. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hello, my name is Jeffrey Myers. I am from Conway, Arkansas, which is right in between Pickles Gap and Toad Suck. I realize you're trying to distract me. Did you say your name is Geoffrey? It is. That, of course, is the name of the extraordinarily evil, twisted character on Game of Thrones,

the most popular television show in history. Oh, I thought that trend had passed. Oh, really? You thought we would have forgotten by now. But you know, to people who don't watch Game of Thrones, Joffrey sounds like the most fancy man in Arkansas. It's true. Joffrey, come here, please.

Yeah. Well, Joff Jeffrey, sire, welcome to the show. Bill Curtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly, and two of the limericks will be a winner. Ready to go? Yes, sir. I was born ready. All right.

Here's your first limerick. We grow chilies inside our air loco, which we'll bring back in from our space waco. With tortillas and beef, we have got a meal, Chief. We are chowing down on a space...

Taco. Yes! Taco it is! This week, the astronauts on the International Space Station made history, first by growing chili peppers on the ISS, and then by using them to make space tacos. The space tacos used the freshly picked peppers, along with other delicious ingredients like freeze-dried beef and rehydrated tomatoes, and to wash it all down, some recycled water that the astronauts also made themselves. Here's your next limit.

Our airline's mistakes we'll explain. The pandemic put brakes on our gains. As flights were ignored, something slithered aboard. And now we have... Snakes on your plane? Yes, sir.

So close. Snakes on a plane. Well, Brian, I feel, has given the game away. So we'll have to credit you for the right answer. Yes, snakes on a plane. After the pandemic halted flights, hundreds of planes in Australia were stored in the desert. That's what they do with planes. And while they're all waiting there to be used again, all these snakes were like, whoa, looks nice.

Let's move in. By the way, they're not just any old snakes. They're rattlesnakes. That sounds like a cute Pixar movie. Rattlesnakes that move on real planes. Yeah, like snakes trying to get, they live in this new condo. And one of the rattlesnakes, like, wants to be a pilot. And all the other rattlesnakes are like, rattlesnakes can't be pilots. One day I'll fly a big plane.

Oh, we're just a snake. Our job is in the desert. Exactly. Imagine this young, brave rattlesnake trying to triumph over the fact that it has no arms. There's only one snake that can land this bird. You're cast.

I think Tom Hanks. Here is your last limerick. This arachnids a really good hider, but hates friends who cast webs right beside her. And she's scared of the mirror, refuses to go near her.

Even spiders get freaked out by... Oh, spider? Yes, spiders, yes. How about that? A new study has found that some spiders are afraid of spiders. They have arachnid arachnophobia. Researchers studying zebra jumping spiders found the spiders got skittish around like this spider-sized sphere

with eyes painted on it. And then when scientists put a 3D-printed spider in front of them, they went, ah, spider! To be fair to the spiders, this is understandable. If you were just like hanging out in like the cage where you lived and somebody dropped a full-sized human mannequin right in front of you, you'd jump through the ceiling. Study makes me feel better because it proves even spiders know spiders are creepy. They're so reasonable. Bill, how did Prince Joffrey, the first of his name,

do on our quiz? The prince was victorious, 3-0. Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah! Truly is an honor it's an honor to talk to you my liege Joffrey thank you so much for playing

now on to our final game lightning fill in the blank each of our players will have Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer is worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores? Well, Peter, we have a three-way tie. Everyone has three points. All right, excellent.

All right, all right. Arbitrarily, Brian, you're going to go first. Sure. Here we go. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, voters in Minneapolis rejected a proposal to replace their blank with a public safety department. Police force.

Yes. This week, GOP leaders claim they could flip as many as 60 House seats during the 2022 blanks. Midterm election. Yes. According to a new report, at least seven people who attended the January 6th Trump rally at the Capitol have been blanked. Have been vaccinated. Have been

elected into local office this week. Instead of removing it, a town in Italy is making a monument out of blank. Futhili? No, they're making a monument out of a car that has been parked in the same spot on the street for 47 years. On Tuesday, Facebook announced plans to voluntarily shut down their blank recognition software.

Facial. Yeah, citing weather and staffing issues, blank canceled over 500 flights on Sunday. American Airlines. Yes, this week a man dressed as an evil clown crashed a Halloween party for kindergartners, scaring the kids so badly that the kids blanked. They beat him up. Yes, they did, Brian. Well done.

At first, the kids ran away screaming, but eventually one of them got courageous enough to tackle the man, which allowed the other dozen kids to start punching and kicking him while he was down. It got so bad, the man had to pull his mask off and explain he was not really a scary clown. No, he was just a normal, non-threatening, full-grown adult who crashed a party for kindergartners. Bill, how did Brian do on our show? Well, pretty good. Four right for eight more points.

He now has 11, and Brian has the lead. All right. McGeen, you're up next. Please fill in the blank. At the Global Climate Summit on Monday President Biden apologized for Trump's withdrawal from the blank Paris Climate Accord Yes

This week a coalition of financial institutions Vowed to put over $100 trillion towards combating blank Climate change? Yes On Wednesday the Atlanta Braves won their first blank since 1995 Baseball Baseball? World Series.

World Series, yes. This week, visitors at Disneyland in Shanghai were treated to an unexpected surprise when park staff blanked. Shut down the park. Oh, so close. They locked the gates and tested all 34,000 guests trapped inside for COVID. On Monday, the blank hit 36,000 for the first time. The Dow? Right.

On Wednesday, it was revealed that Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers lied about being blank. Vaccinated. Right. This week, Oprah released her list of favorite things for 2021, which includes a $60 blank. Lipstick. No, a $60 English muffin. I wouldn't even pay that much for an American muffin, and those have tops.

Bill, how did Nagin do in our quiz? Nagin had five right for Ted Borgpoint. She now has 13, and the lead. All right. How many does Bobcat need to win? We have five to tie and six to win. All right, Bobcat, this is for the game. Here we go. After

the White House proposed the new $1.75 trillion spending bill, Blank said he's once again not ready to commit. John Manchin. Joe Manchin. Close enough. On Thursday, Britain became the first country to authorize Merck's drug to treat blank. COVID.

Yeah, COVID. This week, a man in Kansas City held up a CVS at gunpoint and made off with blank. Lotto cards? No, $100 worth of toilet paper. On Sunday, White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki tested positive for blank. COVID. Right. This week, Dwayne Johnson said he would only allow rubber blanks on his movie sets.

I'm going to go with the bullets, guns. Yeah, rubber guns. This week, pop star Shakira complained that no one stepped in to help her when her bag was stolen by blank. Dogs. No, close. When her bag was stolen by blank. Dogs. No, close, when her bag was stolen by a pack of wild boars. Shakira says she was in Spain when a bunch of wild boars made off with her Gucci bag, and even worse, all the other people nearby just stood around and did nothing. Now, I know this sounds like a wild story, but we have to believe she's telling the truth.

I mean, if there's one thing that Shakira's hips are known for, it is honesty. In the bag, were there truffles? I don't know. It's an interesting question. I thought the answer was going to be like those Indiana Jones date-stealing monkeys. You mean like the date you eat, not like... Oh, hey, monkey, that's my girl. Monkey, I love her. Right, no. No. That's a date-stealing monkey.

Yeah. That's a monkey with game. Brian loves that joke. He does, yeah. Bill, did Bobcat do well enough to win? Well, he had four right for eight more points. Pretty good. Total of 11, but that means with 13,

Nagui! What? A little old man? You did it, you did it, you did it. No, no, I don't deserve it. Come on. In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists to predict, now that we have vaccines for kids,

what will be the next kid problem we solve? Wait, wait, don't tell me. It's a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircare Productions, Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord, Philip Koticka, Red Star Limericks, our public address announcer is Paul Friedman, our social media superstar is Emma Choi.

BJ Lederman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornbos, Lillian King, and Nancy Seychow. Special thanks to Vinnie Thomas. Our wellness guru is Peter Gwyneth Paltrow. Technical direction is from Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse.

Our senior producer, that's Ian Chilock. And the executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Michael Danforth. Now, panel, what's the next kid problem we will solve? Nagin Farsad. Oh, my God, scientists are going to solve my child pooping in the potty. If you're listening, please poop in the potty. Brian Babylon.

We're going to get kids to be the sole person that pays for the public radio pledge membership. And Bobcat Goldthwait. We're going to just, they're finally gonna stop eating boogers. There you go. Well, hey, if any of that happens, we'll ask you about it here on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you, Bill Curtis.

Thanks also to Nagin Farsad, Ryan Babylon, Bobcat Goldthwait. Thanks to all you fabulous people who came out to welcome us back at the Harris Theater in Chicago. Thanks to all you fabulous people who came out to welcome us back at the Harris Theater in Chicago. Thanks to everybody at WBEZ Chicago. Thanks to all of you out there for listening. I am Peter Sagal, and we'll see you next week.

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