Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - Chris Estrada

Episode Date: September 3, 2022

Chris Estrada, comedian and creator of Hulu's This Fool, plays our game called, "This Fool, Meet April Fools!" He is joined by panelists Skyler Higley, Maeve Higgins and Mo Rocca.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

Hey everyone, Bill Curtis here. If you're like me and you love the panelists on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, then check out the Wait, Wait, Stand Up Tour. This fall we're doing two shows in Michigan, October 21st in Ann Arbor and the 22nd in Kalamazoo. Both shows feature some of our funniest comedians. Alonzo Bowden is the host, along with Maz Jobrani, Helen Hong, and Nagin Farsad. See them live, uncensored, and uninterrupted by Peter Sagal. For tickets and information,

go to nprpresents.org. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. Slap me on your funny pages. It's time to play with Billy Putty, Bill Curtis. And here's your host at the Studebaker Theater at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Thanks, everybody. We've got a great show for you today.

Later on, we're going to be talking to Chris Estrada, the comedian and star of his own show, This Fool. He was working in a warehouse when he got the call that his show would be picked up on Hulu, so we are looking forward to asking him a question no other comedian really can answer. What's it like to have a job with health insurance? But first, it's your turn to tell us what it's like to earn an honest living wherever you are, so give us a call. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Now, let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you are on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

Hi, this is Charlie Decanter calling from the Woodlands. Wait a minute. Charlie Decanter. You're confident that's your last name? Very confident. I have a wine bottle with me. Why? And do people have all your life of people made jokes about, you know, letting you breathe? Well, I'll tell you this. The funny thing is I have a sister who my dad unfortunately named Crystal. So you can imagine. No. No, sir.

That cannot be true. I almost feel lucky I was named Charlie. You realize this is NPR. You're not allowed to lie. That's a rule. You're telling me that you, Charlie Decanter, have a sister named Crystal. Absolutely, positively, 100%. Wow.

Well, welcome to the show, Charlie. Let me introduce you to our panel. First up, a correspondent for CBS Sunday Morning and host of the Mobituaries podcast. Season three premieres in October. It's Mo Rocco. Hey, big fan. Hi, Charlie. Thank you.

Next, her new book, Tell Everyone on This Train I Love Them, is out now. It's Maeve Higgins. Hi. Hi, Maeve. I love your stuff. And making his debut on our panel, a stand-up comedian and staff writer at The Onion,

welcome Skyler Higley. Thanks, Skyler. Welcome. Charlie, welcome to the show. You're going to play Who's Bill this time. Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotations from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain two of them, you will win our prize. Any voice from our show, you might choose in your voicemail. Are you ready to play? I'm pumped. Let's do it.

Let's do it. Let's do it. Now, here for your first quote is a big tennis star giving a definitive answer about whether or not this week marks her last tournament ever. I think so, but who knows? Who is retiring after an amazing career, or maybe not? That would potentially be, or not potentially be, Serena Williams. That's right. Who knows? It could be, it could not be. After a 27-year career at the top of literally her game,

she thought father time had caught up with her, but it turns out father time is just another one of those random men who say they could beat Serena Williams at tennis. So the greatest tennis player of all time expected to go out with a loss at the first round of the U.S. Open. She's 40 years old, right? But she kept winning, so she kept having to play. It's the sports equivalent of not being able to leave because you're the only one in the office who can reboot the server. I want to be really inspired by her age, I go wow go she's 40 and then I go

wait I was already 13 when she was born I know she's old for a tennis player I know yes it's very terrifying I don't want to be one of those guys but I am confident that I could beat Serena in Mario Tennis so sorry I'll say it. You can just say it. She doesn't look that good. I play as Waluigi and I kill. Babe, are you a tennis fan? Yeah, I mean, I saw her doing an interview and the interviewer was like,

are you surprised at how hard you've come out and how well you're doing? And it was just this long pause. And she was like, well, I am serena it was just so perfect and even the interviewer was like yeah i'm sorry what a crazy question she's literally the serena williams of tennis everybody is asking what is serena going to do next after her domination of her sport well it's obvious she's a retired person

who likes tennis she's to start playing pickleball. All right, here's your next quote. They threw the documents haphazardly all over the floor. Lucky I declassified. That was someone complaining about a photo the FBI released of a bunch of top secret documents. Who was upset about the mess? Would that be Donald Trump? Yes, Donald Trump. Yes, he got it right. We're applauding for him, just to be clear. So this is what happened. So ever since the raid, the DOJ has been accused of all kinds of things, including like planting evidence that Donald Trump had stolen secret government documents. So they said to the court, here is a photo of the evidence of his crimes spread out so you can see them. And Trump responded all true by complaining, no, I didn't leave them like that. I had the secrets. It was illegal for me to have neatly boxed.

the secrets it was illegal for me to have neatly boxed. There's also a Time magazine. Yes, yes. So what they did was they, so it was like this. If you haven't seen the picture, it's amazing. You can't see what's in them. They blocked it out, but they have the classification. So there's like top secret and so classified you wouldn't believe it. And if you read this, you will die in exactly seven days, right? And they were stored, apparently, by the former president with, like, framed Time magazine covers featuring him, like, the one named him Security Risk of the Year. That's so 90s, to, like, care about time. I know, but he did. He had all those framed photos, but weirdly nowhere in his entire residence did the FBI find any photos of Eric. Wasn't there also in there supposed to be

sex secrets about Macron? Yeah, that's one of the rumors, is that we've been given these very limited descriptions of what they found, and one of them was like classified information about the French president. What could that be? Why would he want president?

You know, like he's like, maybe, knowing Trump, he like found out that he had some sort of young hot mistress and he was looking for her phone number. We have no idea. Well, I'm also like, you know, sex secrets of Macron are one thing, but can you imagine like trading, like offering the French in return sex secrets of Trump? Like, no,

keep them. But they don't care about that anyway. French people would be like more embarrassed if there wasn't sex secrets there. That's true. They'd be like, surely there's something. I do accents, impressions, whatever you hire me. Here she is, boys.

Here she is, girls, with her accents. Charles, your last quote charlie is from npr barking nine to five npr was talking there about whose brand new line of clothing for dogs jeez is that is it Dolly Parton? It is Dolly Parton, yes. Dolly Parton has introduced a line of custom-designed clothing for your dog. Clearly, this is just reparations for all of those country songs, Where the Dog Dies. She has launched Doggy Parton, of course.

You can't groan, it's Dolly Parton. You're not allowed to, by law. It's a line of clothes for your dog. There are these rhinestone collars, fringe-line doggy dresses, even a blonde wig. It makes sense after a career of beautiful music and generous philanthropy

to branch out into humiliating other people's dogs. I think she should do doggy pardons for dogs who are, like, you know, about to get euthanized because they did something really bad. Oh, doggy pardons! doggy pardons for dogs who are like, you know, about to get euthanized because they did something really bad. Oh, doggy pardons. Doggy pardons. That is fantastic. And then the dog should plead their case to Dolly Parton.

Will they get their voting rights back? Doesn't that mean, though, that in order to generate suspense, sometimes Dolly Parton would have to say no and condemn the dog to death? And she might actually be the one to do this. Wow. Euthanizing, too. This is just an idea. But I think that would be a lot higher stakes. If you find yourself, by the way,

going over to Dolly Parton's website and looking at items such as a harness that spells out spoiled and rhinestones and a dog size, maybe just have a kid already, okay? So does she make them for every dog, even like a big old butch dog? Oh, yes, and she's very culturally sensitive. She makes a burqa for the Afghans.

Not anymore. No. Well, now, actually, yes. Anyway, whatever. Hopefully not. Bill, how did Charlie do in our quiz? Mr. DeKetter, have a drink on us. You got a perfect score.

Congratulations. Great fun, you guys. Thank you so much. Take care. Right now, panel, time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Mo, the Wall Street Journal reports that there's a growing tension between the old guard of labor organizers like Teamsters and the current generation that brought us the Amazon and Starbucks unions. What don't the old organizers like about the new ones?

Oh, that they just never come to work. No. That they... Give me a clue. Come on, guys. You're here to build the catwalk, not walk the catwalk. Oh, that they're too vain, that they're into their looks. Yes, they're too stylish. They're too stylish.

They're stylish unions. It's really gone crazy. The younger organizers in street wear, you know, is one thing, but the giant inflatable rat wearing a Balenciaga gown, just too much. Chris Smalls, remember him? He organized the Amazon Union. He even testified in front of congress he always looks good in part because of his great fashion sense but mostly because he buys his

clothes anywhere but from amazon and these old school organizers though the old school guys they don't like it according to the journal you know they don't like the high tops and swanky hoodies they don't get the approval of like pipeipe Fitter's Local 157 and Cranky Old Bastard's 426. If you can't see any butt crack, you're not a teamster. Exactly right. You're not old-fashioned. You're not old-guard. I wonder why the Wall Street Journal would be publishing

stories dividing labor organizations. Really? It's a subtle plan to destroy the modern labor movement. Coming up, your last chance for summer fun awaits in our Bluff the Listener game called 1-888-WAIT-WAIT-TO-PLAY. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me

from NPR. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We're playing this week with Skylar Higley, Mo Rocca, and Maeve Higgins. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagan. Thank you, Bill. Right now, it's time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff the Listener Game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game in the air.

Hi, you are on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hey, how's it going? Not bad. Who's this? This is Michael, calling from Nashville, Tennessee. Hey, Michael, what do you do there in Nashville? Shockingly enough, we run an organic vegetable farm. An organic vegetable farm. That's why you feel happy. There you are. He's a rabbit. Wow. And what do you grow on this farm? The truth be told, it's my lovely wife,

Tanya, that runs the farm, but we grow everything under the sun. And do you sell your produce? Are you a successful agricultural business? Again, as a successful married man, I'm going to once again deflect that my wife successfully sells vegetables at a local farming market, GSA. What do you do then? What do you do then? So you're basically the hype man for your wife here. That's exactly right. I play at the speed of hope in moments of despair.

Well, welcome to the show, Michael. You're going to play the game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Michael's topic? Hot fun in the summertime. Ah, summer. Easily one of the top four seasons and soon available all year round. But right now, it's only temporary, so our panelists, I'm going to tell you about a new activity that you can still fit in before this summer is over. Pick the one who's telling the truth and win our prize, the weight-waiter

of your choice in your voicemail. Are you ready to play? I certainly am. First, let's hear from Mo Rocca. Raising Cane's is an American fast food joint specializing in tender marinated chicken fingers. But you don't want to get your fingers caught in the bathroom door at their DeKalb, Illinois restaurant. That's because the men's room stall door at that location has been dubbed the loudest door on earth. Since July, countless TikTok videos of the metal door slamming shut have been posted, and it is cell block loud. Think orange is the new black. Orange, by the way, is the color of Raising Cane's tangy super secret sauce that helps lock in the flavor on those chicken fingers. One video described the bathroom door sound as earth shattering. Seriously, get your finger

caught in there, and it will end up looking like one of Raising Cane's crinkle-cut fries, center-cut from grade-A potatoes, every batch cooked in our premium-quality canola oil blend. It's not known how many thousands have made the trip just to hear the bathroom door slam. Then again, they could just be coming for Raising Cane's Texas toast, cooked to order from sesame-seeded pull-apart bread, brushed with our garlic blend before grilling on a flat-top surface

to create buttery perfection. Raising Cane's. Flavor it. Savor it. A Raising Cane's franchise in DeKalb, Illinois, features the loudest door in the world that people are actually flocking to hear. Your next story of summer fun comes from Maeve Higgins. Bored families across the country are filling their final summer days

with visits to open houses that they have absolutely no intention of buying. Desperately wanting, but not being able to afford property is a proud American tradition. Realtors complain about this. I can always tell when people are wasting my time because they look so happy when they see the pool. Only poor people get happy about stuff like that. After getting kicked out of her third open house atlanta's yolanda pippin began holding workshops to help other open house enthusiasts appear like they actually have the means to buy a place she provides key phrases to them like oh only one wine fridge and but where's the au pair

supposed to eat and she warns them with don'ts that come from her own experience. Don't take a bath during the open house. Don't bring a first date and keep referring to the home as my other crappier place. Attendees say the workshops have been helpful and fun and realtors say she better stop or they will sue. Attend a workshop so you can enjoy yourself. attend a workshop so you can enjoy yourself attending open houses for homes you can't afford. Your last story of something to do in the dog days of summer comes from Skylar Higley. If you're the type of person who thinks to themselves,

kids these days don't enjoy watching small reptiles drift slowly down through the air until they gently reach the ground, possibly afraid, but ultimately unharmed, that would be a very specific thought. But as it turns out, you would be incorrect, you stupid, stupid fool. A new TikTok trend has revealed more and more teens this summer have been participating in hashtag turtle bombing, a prank that involves strapping a turtle into a small makeshift

parachute and dropping it from an appropriate height to descend upon confused passerbys below. To add to the bizarre nature of the prank, teens have started using rubber bands to attach strange messages to the turtles, such as, hark, the shellpocalypse has begun, or quote, I was dropped by a stork and now I'm your new son. Many have condemned this practice as cruel and dangerous, but surprisingly, PETA has voiced their support, stating that turtle bombing is, quote, an incredible gift to the turtle community, allowing

them to finally experience the miracle of flight. Alright. You're sitting around, you're desperate to have just a little bit more fun before summer ends. Well, it turns out you can do one of these popular things. Either from Mo Rocca, go and hear the loudest door ever in the bathroom of a Chicken Finger franchise in DeKalb, Illinois. From Maeve Higgins, take a workshop that will allow you to go into an open house of expensive homes and act like you could own the place. Or from Skyler, hey, you know, grab a turtle, put a parachute on it, throw it off a high place. It's fun. Which of these is the real

summertime activity being enjoyed by somebody? I'm going to go with Mo on this one. You're going to go with Mo's story of the loudest door ever that people are actually going to see at this place in DeKalb, Illinois. Well, we spoke to somebody who has, in fact, enjoyed this very activity. I opened the door all the way. I just let it close on its own. It almost sounds like a gunshot. That was Ethan Mock.

He's a student at Northern Illinois University near DeKalb, talking about the loudest bathroom door in the world. Congratulations, Michael. You got it right. We're not going to hear it. Woo-hoo! Too loud. Now,

we know that many of our listeners here and around the world just don't have the wherewithal to get to DeKalb, Illinois to hear this. So we have for you now the sound of the loudest door in the world. It's a loud door. It's a loud door. All you need is the Instagram of yourself in front of it and you're all set. Thank you, Michael, so much for playing. Cross it off my bucket list. Thank you, Peter. Take care.

Have a wonderful day. Come on, come on, come on and open up the door. All you gotta do is take a bold step through. Take what you've come for. And now the game where people who've hit it big do something small. It's called Not My Job. Chris Estrada was one of those guys who cracked up all his colleagues at work. So they all said, hey, man, you should go be a comedian.

And he did. But unlike all the other dumb comedians, he didn't quit his day job. Not until he got the call during his lunch break one day that the TV show he had created would be picked up. It's called This Fool. It's on Hulu, and we are delighted to welcome its star now, Chris Estrada. Welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you. You've actually worked this into your comedy bit, right? That's what happened. You were like working in a warehouse, right, In LA where you grew up. Yeah, I was born and raised in LA.

And I, you know, you do comedy for a lot of years before it ever pays you full time. And I had to have a real job. So I worked at a warehouse unloading trucks. The way I would pass time and not make the job so soul-sucking is I would go up to my workers and say, hey, don't tell anyone, but I'm with undercover boss. And is it true that, you know, you'd start doing clubs and you had been doing

comedy and you've been sort of rising in the world and you pitched this show. And the story is, is that you were on your lunch break when you got a phone call saying Fred Armisen, the well-known comedian writer, was going to produce your show. Yeah. So basically we reached out to him and I, comedian, writer who was going to produce your show? Yeah, so basically we reached out to him, and then a week later they were like, can you schedule to talk to him? And I was like, well, I still have a job,

so I just talked to him during my lunch break, which was pretty surreal to be wearing a back brace. Since you have produced this show, which is now streaming on Hulu in which you star Have you gone back to the warehouse and checked in with the guys to see if they've caught it yet a few of them oddly enough Have messaged me and told me why the F didn't you tell us you were a comedian? There you are Wow, and I also understand that you actually unlike a lot of comics So you've got into it some of them quite as earlier in their teens you got into it fairly late, right? into it, some of them quite as early in their teens, you got into it fairly late, right? Yeah,

I was meandering a lot in life and it wasn't until I was 29 that I started comedy. So it was this weird situation where I was doing stand. I was 29 and like everybody around me was either like 19, 20, 21. So I felt like such an old man. Yeah. I mean, it's funny. I mean, you say to yourself, man, you know, things aren't going well. My life has no meaning. I know it would be great. Strangers hating me. You know what was so funny is one time I remember my first year of stand-up comedy. I was at an open mic, and there was this older man. He was watching, and then a few minutes later, I look at him, and he's watching something on his laptop.

Oh, man. And out of curiosity, I went behind him to see what he's watching something on his laptop oh man and and i out of curiosity i went behind him to see what he was watching he was watching an amy schumer's comedy special oh i both i'm horrified i'm horrified for you in the other comics but i kind of admire him he's like i admire him because i he probably saw us and was like, I like this, but I want to see the good version. That's amazing. He went out to watch comedy. Yeah, he was just like, yeah, enough of this.

I want to see somebody who gets paid to do this. Exactly. So one of the things I was thinking about is you are now in a line of comedians who are doing a show which is, in your case, more loosely than not based in your own life and like the probably the preeminent example of that is jerry seinfeld right and i understand yeah jerry seinfeld good old ray romano yeah those guys and i understand you actually ran into seinfeld once right oh yeah that was really funny i was doing a show at the hollywood improv

and jerry seinfeld was playing in the main room. I didn't know this, but the challenge was for me to, like, go on stage and do my set, do comedy while playing the piano, and I don't know how to play the piano, but I just said, all right, and I, my friend who was hosting the show bumped into Jerry Seinfeld during my set and said, would you like to come and do a set on my show? And he said, yeah, absolutely. So he walked in and during my set, I just I just started saying the most horrific, dirty jokes I could think of that I that while playing the piano and all my friends were laughing and everybody was laughing and I thought they were laughing at me.

I thought I crossed some threshold where I was like being funny instead of saying funny things I was like wow I'm really getting I'm really making everybody laugh but what everybody was laughing at was Seinfeld was looking at me horrified at what I was doing he was just doing that sort of gape mouth look of shock he did half the time on his tv show but he he was doing it to you. Yeah, and I had no idea he was watching, so when I got off stage, I was like, wow, I made everybody laugh. I'm really, I'm getting, I'm getting to a new level of stand-up comedy, and then my friend came, and then as I was thinking that, my friend went on stage and goes, everybody, we have a special guest, give it up for Jerry Seinfeld, and I was like, oh my God, did he see that? And then the first thing he said was, who was that guy? That was awful.

Really? Wait a minute. So you did a set of comedy. And then the next thing that happens is Jerry Seinfeld says, who was that guy? He was awful? Yes. Yeah. It was amazing.

It was, you know, it's a better story than him coming up to me and going, that was okay. True. If you're going to have a disaster, do it. You should have sat down in the front row, flipped open your laptop, and started watching Ray Romano. Exactly. That'll show him. Well,

Chris Estrada, we are delighted to talk to you. We have asked you here to play a game we're calling This Fool Meet April Fool. So you were the creator of the show This Fool. We thought we'd ask you about April Fool's pranks. That's your topic. Answer two to three questions about the holiday we all hoped would die during the pandemic, but it didn't. And you'll win our prize for one of our listeners.

Bill, who is Chris Estrada playing for? Pam Hudson of Cleveland, Ohio. All right, Chris, Estrada playing for? Bam Hudson of Cleveland, Ohio. Alright, Chris. Ready to do this? I got you, Bam. Some people, historically in April Fools, have not fought through their pranks before they did them, such as which of these?

A. Compact computers once had all their devices display the message, I am in charge now, human, resulting in hundreds of machines being destroyed with hammers. B, the McDonald's company announced a fake pay-what-you-will menu and 18 restaurants ended up being burned by angry rioters. Or C, a British DJ said listeners could go see a replica of the Titanic offshore from a particular cliff,

and so many people showed up, the cliff fell into the sea. Whoa, Jesus. You know what? I'm going to say it was the Apple computer thing, because I think computer programmers are vicious people. Really? No, it was actually sea. It was the cliff. You'll be happy to know, though, the strain in the cliff was significant, but it didn't fall until the next day when nobody was on it. So nobody was hurt. Oh, that really, you know what? I thought it was going to be that one, but I didn't want it to be true. Right, because you're a humanitarian. You didn't want those people to be hurt. If I mentioned that, you would have picked it. All right, you still have two more chances. For April

Fools in 1971, Texas State Representative Tom Moore wanted to prove that none of his colleagues read the bills they voted on, which led to the Texas State Legislature passing what? A, a bill commending the Boston Strangler for his work aiding population control. B, a bill saying that all the legislators would work for free henceforth, or C, a change in the Texas slate slogan to, yeah, come mess with Texas. It's cool. Oh, wow. It's crazy, but I'm going to say A. You're right. That's what he did. The Texas legislature passed a commendation for the serial killer known as the Boston Strangler. All right, you get this last one right, you win. Sometimes fake products that

companies make up for April Fool's become real due to customers wanting them. So, which of these became a real product? A Hot Wheels Wonder Woman's Invisible Jet Toy, which really was just an empty case. B. Spam Whiz, which is just like Cheez Whiz, but when you press down the thing, spam comes out. Or C. The

Chrysler PT Cruiser Star Wars Edition. Oh, Paul. I gotta say, wow, this is a hard one. Because users kind of look like stormtroopers. Whoa, yo. What? I'm gonna say the Hot Wheels.

You're right again. That's what it was. They put out, they said, oh, we're introducing the Wonder Woman invisible jet. And it was just like a cardboard thing with an empty plastic case. And people were like, we want that. So they started making them. Nice.

I got you, man. You do it, man. Bill, how did Chris Estrada do in our quiz? He did very well. He won this game. Congratulations, Chris. Chris Estrada is the creator and star of This Fool. The first season is streaming now on Hulu.

Chris Estrada, thank you so much for joining us on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you for having me. In just a minute, looking for emotional support in all the wrong places in our listener limber challenge. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us on the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Mo Rocca, Skylar Higley, and Maeve Higgins. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal.

Thank you, Bill. In just a minute, Bill gets a big promotion in our listener limerick challenge game. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, a panel of some more questions for you from the week's news. Mo, the British grocery store Sainsbury's, like many others, it's constantly throwing out food because

it is expired. It's after its expiration date. So to solve this wasteful practice, they're going to do what? They're going to move the expiration date. Well, if by move you said remove, you're right. Taking out the expiration date labels. They're going to remove the, you know, best before stickers from 276 of their products, presumably replacing them with stickers that say, eh, it's probably fine. Smell it first. You enjoyed Greek yogurt?

Well, you're going to love ancient Greek yogurt. Roman meal bread will really be... Even better, Instacart says you're now allowed to ask your delivery driver to come inside and smell this. Is this all right? But yeah, best before just means it's best.

It doesn't mean you can't. You're not allowed. Yeah, exactly. I take stuff way after the expiration date, so that's fine. Right. I mean, I get sick, but it's fine. No. Mo, we all know about TikTok fads,

the ice bucket challenge, the get out challenge, the planking challenge, the milk crate challenge. Well, the latest fun activity the cool kids are filming themselves doing is what? It is, I mean,

you talked about milk crates. Give me a clue. I'll give you a clue. It's also called the Hot Wire Challenge. Oh, it's the one about, it's a Korean car. It's not a Hyundai. It's the other one. It's actually, it's good enough because they're made behind it.

It's the Kia Challenge. The Kia Challenge. It's actually called, what they're doing is they're filming themselves stealing cars. Yeah, it's terrible. Yes, that's the latest fun activity your kids are up to while you're here. You could just play Grand Theft Auto. You don't have to.

No, no, no, no, no. Do Grand Theft Auto. And also, I mean, forgive me, but a Kia, is it really worth it? Well, here's the thing. The Kia Boys Challenge. It's the newest TikTok fad. Teenagers film themselves stealing a Kia or a Hyundai.

Then they joyride in them until they crash into telephone poles. It seems awful, but they are stealing cars to support ALS research. That was a lot better than the one that they were doing before, the manslaughter challenge. That was terrible. That was really bad. It was really not cool. No, the challenge takes advantage

of a design flaw in Hyundai and Kia cars. You can steal, basically by using a $2 USB cable to turn the ignition. I can't believe you just told the whole NPR audience how to steal a Kia. Yeah.

Nothing is going to happen. If I were to tell them, if I were to tell them how to hotwire a Prius, a crime wave would spread across the nation. Skyler, this week, the BBC's Middle Eastern correspondent, Quentin Somerville, confirmed that while reporting from Afghanistan, he inadvertently did what on live TV? Ooh. Restarted the war in Afghanistan. Oh, no.

Comments. He inadvertently... He followed up this report with a report on the munchies. Oh. He inadvertently smoked crack. My God. That went from zero to 60. Close enough. He did inadvertently get high. Oh, yeah.

What happened was he was doing, this is all true, this happened in 2014, but he confirmed it happened this week. So he's in Afghanistan in 2014, and he's reporting on their then campaign to end the opium trade and they are burning a whole bunch of opium poppies, right? And he happens to stand down wind

while he's doing the live report. Now we have some tape. Listen for the subtle clue he might be under the influence. Burning behind me is eight and a half tons of heroin, opium, hashish and other narcotics. Please.

At first I thought, like, oh, he's just Scottish. Yeah, no, no, no. We are sophisticated enough over here in the new world to understand the difference between Scottish and high, just so you know. Coming up, it's lightning fill in the blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme.

If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Or click the Contact Us link on the website, waitwait.npr.org. Also, come see us live most weeks right here at the beautiful Studebaker Theater in Chicago and see the Wait, Wait stand-up tour. You can see your favorite comedians from Wait, Wait in Dallas, Eugene, Oregon, Portland, Oregon, Kalamazoo, Michigan, and more tickets and info at nprpresents.org. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

Hi, this is Sonny from Chicago, Illinois. Hey, Sonny, how are you? Good, how are you doing? What do you do here in the greatest city on this planet? I do logistics for a merchandise company. What's the oddest bit of merch you guys have ever produced? We do a lot of stuff. I mean, we do OnlyFans, Mironov, and Justin Bieber.

Dare I ask, what kind of merchandise do OnlyFans performers produce for their fans? It's pretty vanilla stuff. All right, so it comes in flavors. All right, I don't really want to know anymore. Thank you. That's it. I can just imagine the rest. Sonny, welcome to the

show. You're going to play the game in which you're going to have to complete two out of three news related limericks. Bill Curtis, of course, will begin them. You have to finish them by filling in the last word or phrase. You ready to do this? Yeah, I'm ready. Here we go. Here's your first limerick. Once the paper is flushed down the bowl, arts and crafts have to pay the hard toll. How can we soldier on now that cardboard is gone? They've removed the cute tube from the... Guys, I'm at a loss. I know, it's hard.

I'm just going to say it's hard when you're doing it and you're on the spot. Everybody knows this. This game is really hard, this whole thing. It is. It's very difficult. A blank of paper. Oh, my God. Peace. Roll. Roll. Yes, you got it. Apparently, to save paper, bathroom tissue brands are considering removing the cardboard tube from the middle of the roll. This is great for the environment, but causing panic among kindergarten teachers everywhere.

And anybody who uses binoculars. Exactly. Here's your next limerick. Charles Dickens, that overachiever, found fault in the wines of Geneva, and he'd often bewail his slow Sunday mail because the man was a bit of a...

Overachiever. No, we heard overachiever. That was the first word. It's usually women get called this. Oh my God. It's terrible. We can't even use it. Limes with overachiever, Geneva. He was a bit of a... Guys, I'm having a hard time here.

It's all right, man. It's a hard one. We'll give it to you. It's diva. He's a bit of a diva. Yeah, according to handwritten letters that were displayed for the first time this week, Charles Dickens, the famous writer,

was a bit of a diva. I guess he had some expectations about himself that were a little too great. In these new letters, he bitterly complains about an injustice, the ending of Sunday mail delivery to his hometown. Quote, That's Victorian English for don't you know who I am.

In another, he goes on and on complaining about the cost of bread. Charlie's going off about the bread again. Here's your last limerick. If you get this, you win. Though his teeth just might frighten the waiter, my big reptile's a lover, not hater. He's an affable sort, and he gives me support. He's a registered, comforting... Alligator. Yes, gator. Yes, whoa.

Nice. Whoa. Wally, the emotional support alligator, was adopted six years ago by a man who needs emotional support because of the sudden unexpected loss of both his arms. His owner takes Wally everywhere he goes, including sleeping in the same bed.

That's true. And he assures you, just in case, that Wally, the 70-pound alligator, is absolutely loving. He says, quote, when he turns his nose towards you, that means he expects a kiss. Which will make fabulous last words. I guess it is weird that he has him in the bed with him, but it's also, when it's so

hot at nighttime, it would be nice to have, like, a cool reptile. And alligators are probably cool, yeah? Yeah, they're cool. It's like a weighted blanket. With rows and rows of teeth. A gator skin weighted blanket.

It's a lovely green. Aren't they green? They're green. Are they green? Listen, I don't want to confuse real alligators with cartoon alligators. I understand. That's very important.

Right. Like, do they actually play the trumpet and walk down the street? Bill, how did Sonny do in our quiz? His two out of three means he's a winner. Congratulations, Sonny. Yay. You got it. Thank you.

Thanks so much. And we'll look for that merch soon. Take care. You and me We're the best of friends And we'll stay together till the end It's clear to see that you and me We're the best of friends So you've seen the TV show The Bear, and now all you want to do is come to Chicago and eat an Italian beef sandwich. And I don't blame you. They are great. But that's one meal. What are you going to do with the rest of your time?

How about a spicy, juicy evening of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me live at the Studebaker Theater? evening of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, live at the Studebaker Theater. Not only is it hilarious, but if you stick around afterwards, I personally will tell you the very best non-fictional place to get Italian beef in Chicago. For more information on Wait, Wait, Not Italian Beef, go to nprpresents.org. Now it is time for our final game. Lightning fell in the blankage. If our players left 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores? Mo and Skylar each have three, and Maeve has one.

Okay. Sorry. All right, Maeve, you're in third place. You're up first. The clock will start when they begin your first question. Fill in the blank. Watch out, Peter. Here we go.

Here we go, Maeve. On Wednesday, the FDA authorized a booster shot specifically targeting the blank variant. COVID. No. The Omicron variant of COVID. This week, the Secret Service recovered over $200 million in stolen blank. No. Pandemic loans, according to a new study, melting ice sheets in Greenland will raise blank by over a foot. The ocean. Yes, sea level. Yes, yes, yes, Maeve. Almost had a perfect score. This week, officials in Oregon announced

they were finally changing the name of Blank Mountain. Moa's motioning to me. No. Hood. Hood, no. Mount Hood is still called Mount Hood. However, Swastika Mountain however, has a new name

What? The forthcoming name change is a real relief to local hikers who are getting tired of telling people Swastika Mountain is really beautiful this time of year If you're wondering about the name, the mountain is not shaped like a swastika, but it was named for a local man who liked to brand swastikas

on his cows. Cool. No further questions. Bill, how did Maeve do on our quiz? Those of us who are interested in following Maeve's career are happy to note she got one right.

I'll drink to that. Which gives her two more, and she ties our other panelists with a total of three. All right, I'm going to arbitrarily choose you, Skyler, to go next, so here we go, fill in the blank. Due to heavy flooding, the drinking water system in blank failed, leaving the city without clean water. Jackson.

Mississippi. On Tuesday, officials in North Korea confirmed that blank had tested positive for COVID. Oh, Donald Trump. No, Kim Jong-un. After a woman in Japan called authorities about a loose monkey, a team arrived and quickly blanked. Ooh, killed the monkey.

No, they accidentally shot the woman with a tranquilizer dart. Oh, that is so rude. It is. On Thursday, three more cast members announced they would not be returning to the 48th season of Blank. Saturday Night Live. Right. After 60 hours of competition, a man in Montenegro this week was crowned the winner

of the 12th annual Blank Championship. Hot dog eating. No. After 60 hours of competition, he won the Lying Down Championship. Before you say, hey, I could do that, listen to what the winner had to say. Quote, it was not difficult. The winner's name is Zeljko Pajanovic.

He is proud of his achievements and used all the energy it saved to, and this is true, beat up a reporter who said he was lazy. Bill, how did Skyler do in our quiz? Two right. Four more points. Total of seven. So, Bill, how many does Mo need to win? Three to win. Alright. Here we go, Mo.

This is for the game. Fill in the blank. According to a new report, levels of blank hit a record high in 2021. Carbon dioxide? Yes, greenhouse gas. This week, Democrat Mary Peltola beat out blank in a special election for Alaska's single house seat. Sarah Palin. Sarah Palin. This week, former Soviet Union leader blank passed

away at the age of 91. Oh, with the jam stain on his forehead. Gorbachev. Gorbachev. On Tuesday, health officials in Texas reported the first U.S. death from Blank. Oh, monkeypox. Yes. This week,

a meteorologist in North Carolina who wanted to tell her viewers there'd be no rain on Wednesday put up a graphic that read blank. No, it said something that was unexpected and humorous. It said, the next round's on me. No. No rain on Wednesday.

She put up a graphic that said, dry hump day. On Wednesday, NASA announced a new $1.5 billion contract with private space company Blank. Oh, is it that SpaceX? It is. After years of demand, Twitter has finally introduced a button allowing users

to Blank. Oh, to edit their tweets. Yes, this week the Los Angeles Office of Emergency Management accidentally sent out a message urging blank. Protect yourselves. No, they sent out a message urging everyone in L.A. to evacuate immediately. Wow.

The emergency alert message interrupted TV broadcasts. It was frightening at first. Viewers quickly realized it was a mistake. But then people got excited because if everyone left all of Los Angeles, it might finally be possible to get an affordable place to live there. Bill, did Mo do well enough to win? He got six

right, 12 more points, total of 15 wins. Congratulations! In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists to predict after Doggy Parton, what will be the next hot new celebrity product. But first, Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production

of NPR and WBEZ, Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions, Doug Berman, benevolent overboard, Philip Godica writes our limericks, our public address announcer is Paul Friedman, our tour manager is Shane O'Donnell, thanks to the staff and crew at the Studebaker Theatre, BJ Liederman composed our theme, our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornbos,

and Lillian King. Our production assistant is Sophia Hernandez. And we need a special thanks to Julia Young this week. Peter is our guy. Gwyn or glues. Technical direction is from Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse.

Our senior producer is Ian Shillog. The executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Mr. Michael Danforth. Now, panel, what will be the next new celebrity product? Mo Rocca. Crystal Gale will sell crystal meth. Maeve Higgins. Elon Musk will sell a perfume that repels women. Yeah, it's called Muskrat.

And Skylar Higley. It'll be Harry Belafonte's Belafonte Bites. Well, if any of that happens, we're going to ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thanks to Bill Curtis. Thanks also to Mo Rocca, Mae Viggins, and Skyler Higley. Thanks for a fabulous debut. Thanks to all of you for listening. I'm Peter Sagal.

We'll see you next week. This is NPR.