Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! - Darryl "Cornbread" McCray

Episode Date: July 2, 2022

Darryl "Cornbread" McCray, called the creator of modern graffiti, plays a game about another kind of tagging. He is joined by panelists Alonzo Bodden, Faith Salie, and Josh Gondelman.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. Get ready for some East Coast swing, because Motown Billy's back again. I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host at TD Pavilion at The Man in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, a man I call My Tasty Cakes. It's Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Thank you, everybody. Thank you, Philly.

It is great to be back here at the beautiful Man Center right in the city of brotherly love, one of the few forms of love that will not be soon declared illegal by the Supreme Court. Later on, we're going to be talking to Philadelphia's own Darryl McRae, also known as Cornbread, the man who many credit with inventing modern graffiti. He did that here. But first, we want you to make your mark. So give us a call. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT.

That's 1-888-924-8924. Let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. This is Tessa Horwath from Omaha, Nebraska. From Omaha. When I was growing up, I used to watch Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom. And being a small, impressionable boy, I always assumed that the amazing scenes of jungle

life happened in Omaha. So do you enjoy the wildlife of Omaha? I do. Have you been to the zoo? Because that's what you get. That's what you get down in the zoo in Omaha. I believe they've actually put Warren Buffett now, just to keep him safe. Well, welcome to the show, Catherine. Let me introduce you to our panel. First up, the head writer and executive producer for Desus and Mero on Showtime, his new comedy special, People Pleaser, is available to stream now. It's Josh Gondelman. Hey, thanks so much. Lovely to be here. Next, a contributor to CBS Sunday Morning,

host of the podcast Real Good, and her off-Broadway solo show Approval Junkie is now available on Audible. It's Faith Saley. Hey, Catherine. And a comedian you can see August 22nd through the 28th at the Brad Garrett Comedy Club at MGM Las Vegas. It's Alonzo Bowden. Hello.

Hello. So, Catherine, welcome to the show. You're going to play Who's Bill this time. Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotations from the week's news. Your job, of course, explain or identify two of them. You know that. Do that. You will win any voice from our show you might choose on your voicemail. Are you ready to go?

Yep, let's go. Let's do it. Here is your first quote. There was ketchup dripping down the wall. That was someone telling us what happened when Donald Trump got so mad he threw his lunch at the wall. It was an account we heard at a surprise hearing this week called by whom? The January 6th Committee. Exactly right. The January 6th Committee.

Yay. January 6th Committee. Exactly right. The January 6th Committee. Yay. On Tuesday, the committee held a surprise hearing with one Cassidy Hutchinson, a key aide to Mark Meadows. She was a central player in the Trump White House, but nobody else knew who she was until she testified on national TV, at which point the Trump White House said they didn't know

who she was. Perhaps the most memorable moment of the remarkable hearing was learning Donald Trump got so mad when he found out his attorney general wouldn't support his big lie about the election that he threw his lunch angrily against the wall, leaving ketchup smeared on the walls of the White House. While shocking to many,

insiders find it a surprisingly civilized moment from Trump. Usually he would just wipe his discarded lunch on Lindsey Graham. I think the bigger surprise is that he threw a hamburger. Yeah. Well, you do know, Alonzo, you know five minutes later he sort of stumbled back in, picked out the food amidst the shards of China and ate it. He wasn't going to let that go to waste.

There was probably a White House aide whose job it was to keep another hamburger ready to go. When Trump's in a meeting, they actually keep a second hamburger at a separate location as a designated survivor. Exactly.

The official lunch. You know, the more and more details of his behavior, I put my parenting hat on, and I was just like, this is just a little baby man who needs boundaries, right? And like, you know,

you have to tell him, like, I know you want to drive the big SUV, but you've got to sit in the presidency. Yeah. And, you know, you've got to, I know you're so upset. That's what happens when you don got to sit in the presidency. Yeah. And, you know, you've got to, I know, you're so upset. That's what happens when you don't buckle him into the car seat.

Exactly. So, obviously, Faith was referring to this, another story that Ms. Hutchinson told about how Trump wanted to join the mob so badly, he actually tried to grab the wheel of his own vehicle and attacked the Secret Service agent.

Well, the question is, who was this Secret Service officer and what incredible discipline he had to not just smack the hell out of him? I bet they don't even cover that in the training, though. I bet they're never like, look, I know someday you'll want to fight the president. All right. Your next quote is from a woman in an airport. After one hour of walking around in circles, I just sat on my suitcase and cried. What is so messed up that people are sitting on their own suitcases and crying? Is it work shortages for airlines? Yes, it's air travel.

Air travel is completely messed up. Airlines are experiencing historically bad delays and cancellations. They predict it will get worse as we get into the holiday this weekend. Apparently, the airlines laid off staff and they retired aircraft during the pandemic and now they can't keep up with demand air travel air travel is now like particle physics you can know where you're going or when you get there but never both at the same time to say that air travel is bad, it doesn't even begin to describe the abuse the airlines heave on you. Now, I fly every week, and I'm a platinum flyer, and they treat me like dirt. And all I think is, man, what are they doing to Group 7? They're just beating them with sticks and tying them down somewhere.

It's also, to say that it's historically bad. It's not like before the pandemic, you'd show up at the airport and be like, oh, a spa day. I, I read that there was actually a flight this week canceled because, delayed because, it was flying to Florida and they kept it on the runway for, quote, possible odor. How is that not every flight? You know when you're going to get on. It's not possible odor. There will be odor.

That's true. That's how you get there. I love that movie, There Will Be Odor. Daniel Day-Lewis deserves another Oscar. I smell your milkshake. All right. Here smell your milkshake. All right. Here is your last quote. Our situation has become pretty dire at the castle.

That was an employee of Medieval Times, part of a group of workers at that company trying to form a what? Union. Yes, a union. The Knights, Squires, Stablehands of Medieval Times are trying Yes, a union. The Knights, Squires, stable hands of medieval times are trying to form a union. They're tired of this big corporation malording over them.

The company does not support the union. They state that management is decreed by divine right and all employees are merely vassals. I like this. I mean, I think it's great that unionization and labor organizing is kind of sweeping through a bunch of industries.

Yeah, I think that's really important from Starbucks to medieval times. And I think that everybody deserves better health care. They've been shorting these employees on leeches for too long. Exactly. You have to pay out of pocket for leeches? That's insulting. Can't they just torch the castle? So, now, this is also interesting, especially for you patrons of Medieval Times.

The problem, the workers say, isn't so much management as the customers. People apparently routinely get drunk and they scare the horses or, this is all true, they try to grab the falconer's falcon or run up and grab it. Is that a euphemism? No, there's actually a falcon. I mean, it's not like, oh yeah, you know, they were in back grabbing the falcon, if you know what I mean. No, they were actually trying to grab the falcon. Would my lady like to join me in the stables for a bit of grab the falcon? Right? So this is a problem. So they want,

the employees of Medieval Times want either their employer to put a stop to that behavior or to give the employees real swords. I think if someone tries to grab the falcon, the best thing you can do is let them. Enjoy. I'm sure the falcon would have fun with some amateur. Yeah. Oh, that's why you're wearing the big leather glove. Yes, that's... Bill, how did Catherine do in our quiz?

She got three right, and she's a winner. Thank you so much for playing, Catherine. Bye-bye. Thank you. It's been a pleasure. Bye-bye. All right, panel, time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Josh, Rudy Giuliani said he was viciously assaulted, viciously assaulted,

in a grocery store this week when somebody came out of nowhere and did what to him? They slapped him on the back and said, I don't know if I can say this, but they said, what's up, scumbag? Right. Which, in Staten Island, is that even an insult? Well, that's true. It's a greeting. Or is it a standard greeting?

Yeah. So this is what happened. So Rudy Giuliani says, oh, my God, I was assaulted at this appearance. He said that he was almost knocked to the ground. Everybody was like, oh, my God. And then the surveillance video came out, and this guy walks up and, like, sort of lightly whacks him on the back as if trying to help him cough up something lodged in his throat. The way the media covered this so-called assault was really striking.

The New York Times said Giuliani tapped on back by protester and Fox News said Rudy Giuliani, 1944 to 2022. Rudy Giuliani, 1944 to 2022. He is at an age that a pat on the back could be dangerous. That's true. But even this one was. That had to be the gentlest pat. It was almost as if he was patting him to say, look out, they're after scumbags. Watch out.

So, yes, as you say, the guy who was, in fact, arrested for assault said, hey, what's up, scumbag, which actually is the nicest thing anyone has said to Rudy Giuliani in a long time. And, in fact, this is interesting. It's actually his Secret Service nickname. Secret Service is like, yes, I've got eyes on scumbag. He's entering the beach. That's what it should say, like, when you drive over the Verrazano Bridge from Brooklyn into Staten Island.

Because all the boroughs have their own little slogans, like Brooklyn has one and Queens has one. The sign when you enter Staten Island should say, welcome to Staten Island, what's up, Scumbag? Coming up, learn a hidden secret of Philadelphia in our Bluff, the listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT-TO-PLAY. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz.

I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Alonzo Bowden, Josh Gondelman, and Faith Saley. And here again is your host at TD Pavilion at The Man in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Right now, it is time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff, the listener game. Now, usually we would tell you the number to call, but I have just been told that our phone lines here have gone down. So our producer, Shana, has brought a mic down into the crowd and handed it to one of you. Hi there. What's your name? My name is Gray. Hi, Gray. Are you from? Like the color.

Like the color. Okay. Are you from here in Philadelphia? I am. I grew up here and I live here now. Wow. Did you ever try anywhere else and found it just not as satisfying as Philly? I did. I went to college in Minnesota, and I'm back here because I love it. There you go. Well, awesome. I can't help but agree. Well, you're going to play our Bluff the Listener game. Each of our

players right here on stage is going to read for you a story from the week's news. Your job will be to pick the real one. Bill, what is Gray's topic? Visit Philadelphia. So, it turns out that your home city, Philadelphia,

has a new attraction. Is it a bell that isn't broken? Our panelists are each going to tell you about this new Philadelphia attraction. Pick the one who's telling the truth. You will win our prize, the weight of your choice in your voicemail. You ready to play? Yes. All right, Gray. First up, let's hear from Alonzo Bowden. They blew up Philadelphia's Veterans Stadium back in 2004

to build two shiny new stadiums next to it. But lifelong Philadelphia resident Monroe Mealy doesn't care for them. That's why he created the Vet Stadium Experience, a recreation built in an old warehouse not far from the parking lot that marks the real stadium's grave. The Vet Experience has green concrete floors to conjure up the old AstroTurf. It serves beer at 1980 prices, and when visitors have too much of it, they can hurl snowballs prepared for them at a walk-in freezer. You can enjoy activities like rushing past mounted policemen to get on the field and screaming obscenities from the 700 level. And of course, if anyone misbehaves, the vet experience, just like the old stadium, has a judge on duty to

put you in a holding cell. The vet stadium experience, the loving recreation of the old Vette Stadium. Your next story of a reason to visit Philly comes from Faith Saley. Of course Philly has a cheesesteak museum. What you don't expect is that they mean it. It's a museum of cheesesteaks, partial cheesesteaks eaten by wholly famous people. At the entrance, under a glass dome, visitors are met with three-quarters of the cheesesteak that doomed John Kerry's 2004 presidential run. You know, the one he ordered not with classic gooey cheese whiz,

but with Swiss cheese like a damn socialist. When Rudy Bani, a UPenn doctoral student in political science, discovered this ignominious cheesesteak for sale on eBay, complete with DNA certification, he snatched it up, and he knew he had a collection to build. With funding from the Philadelphia Political Culinary Society, he's now curated cheesesteaks that have touched the mouths of legendary Philadelphians like Walt Whitman, Hall & Oates, and Terry Gross. A cheesesteak museum with actual cheesesteaks chewed on by the famous. Your last story of a new stop on the Philly tour bus comes from Josh Gondelman.

From climbing light poles to booing Santa Claus, Philadelphia sports fans are known for showing their intense, let's say, passion for local teams. But one... I love this energy. But one fan, 45-year-old Matt Edwards, has gone above and beyond, turning his home's downstairs bathroom into a monument to his beloved Phillies. The relief room, as Edwards calls the commode,

is a celebration of retired Phillies relief pitchers. Though the room is jam-packed with Phillies ephemera, such as signed photographs and figurines, the area above the toilet remains largely empty. That's because it's reserved especially for pitchers who have played for Phillies championship teams. Edwards did miss an opportunity for guests to declare their need for personal relief the same way that catchers deliver signals to a pitcher.

Throw down one finger if you need to do what the Phillies do with a late-inning lead. Two fingers if you need to do what the team is playing like overall. Alright. Here are your choices. One of these is a real place you can visit when you come to Philadelphia, and you all should. From

Alonzo, the Vette Stadium experience, a recreation and a warehouse of all the things that made the old Vette Stadium both great and terrible. From Faith Saley, the cheesesteak museum, one that has actual cheesesteaks. Really. And from Josh Goldman, the relief room, a museum for Phillies

relief pitchers located, of course, in a fan's bathroom. Which of these is the real new tourist attraction in Philadelphia? If all of you who have grown up in Philadelphia like I have, the only answer is three. The only answer is the relief room. Alright, well your choice is Josh's story of the relief room. Well to bring you the

correct answer, we are so proud to tell you we spoke to the creator of this remarkable attraction. It's a bathroom where you go eating and so I decided to honor the Philly's relief pitchers in this room. That was Matt Edwards talking about the relief room. Congratulations Gray you won our prize. Not to mention handling the spotlight with Philadelphia plum. Give it up for Gray please. Thank you so much for joining us. And thanks for being here. And now the game where we like to invite local luminaries on to ask them about something that happened far away. It's called Not My Job.

Now, Philadelphia has lots of claims to fame. They invented the United States here. They introduced religious tolerance, roast pork sandwiches. But you may not have known that this city is also the birthplace of the modern graffiti movement. And the person credited with that invention is Daryl McRae, who started painting the tag. He's become known by cornbread back in 1965. He still lives here in the city where he was born. We are delighted to welcome him to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Daryl Cornbread McRae. Thank you. All right.

I have a lot of questions. We're going to get to some of them in the time we have, but I'll start with this one. How did you get the nickname Cornbread? I got the nickname Cornbread in reform school. Really? I was a troubled youth. Yeah. I was put away, and the bread is always kind of hard. And about a week of that, I went to the back of the kitchen, and I approached the head chef, Mr. Swanson. and by the week of that I went to the back of the kitchen and I approached the head chef Mr. Swanson Mr. Swanson my grandma makes the best cornbread in the world

would you consider putting some cornbread on the menu for a trial basis he said I'm a busy person I don't have time for no cornbread man who gave you permission to come into my kitchen I said nobody he said take a walk so I left two days later I come back in his kitchen again I said Mr nobody. He said, take a walk. So I left. Two days later, I come back in his kitchen again. I said, Mr. Swanson, can we talk about some cornbread? And he was like, man, you really get on my nerves, and I don't have time for your crap. You've been in my kitchen.

It's going to be something. Make this your last time coming to my kitchen. Take a walk. I left. Two days later, I'm in his kitchen again. All right. I'm going to pause. I'm going to ask you, just pause for a second. What left. Two days later, I'm a skit from the game. All right. I'm going to pause. I'm going to ask you.

Just pause for a second. What's your thought process, right? So you're a kid. You went in there. You asked for cornbread. Totally reasonable thing to do. He said, no way. So my thought process then, I knew I was aggravating him.

Yeah. I knew I was getting on his nerves. And that was my way of getting into some mischief. Right. And you were like, all right, let's go annoying. So you go in third time. What happens? I'm a pest in the cook.

Yeah. So the third time I go in the kitchen, the kitchen workers see me coming in. I said, Mrs. Watson, your boy here. My boy who? Your boy Cornbread. So everybody start laughing at me, calling me cornbread, but the institution was a festival of gang members, and all gang members had real cool nicknames. And everybody was calling me cornbread, calling stuff, teasing me.

I didn't mind them calling me cornbread. That's a cool-ass nickname. Yeah. All right. That. All right. That. That is a better origin story than like half of all the Marvel movies.

Right? That is fantastic. All right. So now you're Cornbread. That's how you're known. Cornbread McRae, he's the guy who invented graffiti. So tell me what you did and what you're credited with. And it dates back to like the 60s.

I'm a credit for being the inventor of graffiti. Such is not the case. Graffiti has always been there since the beginning of time. Right. Like the caveman. Sure. I am the world's first modern day graffiti artist. Okay. I wrote my name on the walls for the sole purpose of establishing a reputation.

Is that called tagging? Yes. That's the new term. Right. So you more or less invented tagging. When he was doing it, it was just called cornbreading. He was the first guy. I know.

Why did the name come after him? So part of your legend that we heard about as soon as you mentioned your name to people in Philadelphia is some of the places and things that you tagged with your name, including, if I'm not mistaken, an elephant. I had to do it. And I want to assure our listeners, especially the elephant, was fine, but tell me what happened. Well, I started walking bus routes. I don't go into work one day. I always buy the newspaper so I can read while I ride. On the front page of the newspaper is cornbread is shot to death. Who else could this be? Yeah.

It's on page three. And it read, the fantastic career of Philadelphia best-known graffiti artist came to a marlin and sunny outside a hotel and bar. I'm reading about my own death. Well, this became a prescription for disaster. I knew I had to do something bizarre. I'm getting the idea. So in order to prove to the world that you were still out there,

you had to do something bigger than you'd ever done before. You know what I did. Right. So you broke into the Philadelphia Zoo. I didn't break into the zoo. No. Peter, come on, man. I'm sorry. I came to the back of the zoo, and I came over the fence.

Came down to the closing where he was at. I hopped into the pit. I walked him to him. I took the spray can off. He turns around. He's like, this must be the biggest bag of peanuts I've ever heard. Right, right, right. Elephant turns around and looks at you.

I walks up to him. I write, cornbread lives. And I tell the side. Cornbread lives. Well, I was kind of disgusted because I went through all that to do something within 60 seconds. When I came out the pit, the entire zoo was at my disposal. I just bombed the whole zoo out. Yeah. Oh, I bet.

So, the elephant was cool with this. Was the elephant cool? The elephant was cool with this. Yes. Basically, this is the Philadelphia version of Charlotte's Web. Someone else was in that zoo. Somebody else. Yes.

And seeing what I did. Yeah. And called the police. Yeah. By the time I came out the zoo. Yeah. Come to the tombstone. Don't run. Put your hands on top of your head. Take me to the police station. And all this time I'm tired because I was up half the night.

I'm sleeping. We're trying to rest. And every five minutes the cops have come come to say, what's 20-ounce cornbread? I said, here, what's up? Give me autograph, kid. This was all day long. So I was about to say I have a feeling that's not true. I know we could be here all day and you would have even more amazing stories. Yes.

But sadly, we don't have all day and we have business to do. So, Cornbread, Daryl, we have asked you here to play a game we're calling... Tag. You're it. So, you're an expert, obviously a pioneer in one kind of tagging. We thought we'd ask you three questions about the game of tag. Answer two of them correctly, you'll win our prize. One of our listeners, the voice of their choice in their voicemail, perhaps at this point yours. Bill, who is Cornbread playing for?

Dan Foley of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. All right. Ready to do this? Here's your first question. Of course, as you might imagine, there is in this world a professional tag league. They play the sport professionally. It's called World Chase Tag. The idea is you have a small arena, obstacles, a chaser tries to tag an evader in a set period of time. Which of these is an official term used in that sport? A, the wounded rabbit, in which the person chasing fakes an injury,

drawing the evader to come help, and then he tags him. B, the Benny Hill, in which the chaser chases the evader around and around, an obstacle to no effect, like that old comedy program. Or C, the existential crisis in which either player suddenly realizes that playing tag is ridiculous for grown adults. C. So you can do it for C.

He's not wrong. It's a good guess, but in fact the answer is the Benny Hill. That is a term they use in professional tag. Apparently it's a mistake rookies make. This is not a problem. Cornbread, you've got two more. Perhaps you're bored by that kind of professional tag.

You want something more exciting. In which case, you can enjoy which of these? A. Catch Me If You Can. That's a Croatian dating show in which people compete for the right to date someone by chasing them through a house. B. Global Tag, an amateur league in which the playing field is the entire planet and rounds off People compete for the right to date someone by chasing them through a house. B, global tag. An amateur league in which the playing field is the entire planet and rounds often take years to complete.

Or C, archery tag in which instead of tagging each other, players shoot arrows at each other. I'll go with A. You can go with A. I'm afraid it was C, archery tag. Oh, God. What? It's called archery tag. They're padded arrows.

And I got to tell you the truth. I watched it on video, and it looks like a lot of fun. All right. You didn't mention they were padded arrows. Yeah, that's true. That's a technicality. Because, you know, that takes all the fun out of it. It does, really.

Cornbread tags the arrow as it flies by. All right. Here's your last question. The multimillionaire Andrew Mellon and his brother Richard engaged in a decades-long tag war with each other, which finally ended when which of these happened? A, Richard trying to escape Andrew's tag leapt into the Susquehanna River and was never seen again. B, on his deathbed, Richard called Andrew over

and whispered, last tag, into his ear and then immediately died. Or C. Andrew had himself encased in a giant rubber ball so he could never be tagged again. B. You can go for B. On his deathbed, Richard called Andrew over and said, last tag, gotcha, and died. You're right. That's what happened.

Bill, how did Daryl Cornbread McRae do on our quiz? He got one right, and just short of being a full winner in our game. But we do know that every time you go in public and see the word cornbread, you'll know he's a winner. Yeah. Cornbread. I have to ask. I have to ask one thing.

When we walk out of here tonight, are we going to see cornbread on the wall backstage? No. No? Alonzo, it's already on the back. Oh, my God. It's already been tagged. Alonzo, it's already on your back. Oh, my God. It's already been tagged.

You can see Daryl Cornbread-McCray's artwork online at ParadigmArts.org and Artsy.net. You can see it in person over at the Paradigm Gallery and Studio in Philadelphia. Daryl McRae, thank you so much for joining us. And wait, wait, don't tell me. Give it up for Cornbread. Thank you. In a minute, learn the secrets behind your secrets. It's our Listener Lumber Challenge game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us in the air.

We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Faith Seeley, Alonzo Bowden, and Josh Gondelman. And here again is your host at TD Pavilion at The Man in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, Peter Sagan. Thank you, Bill, in just a minute. Bill puts on just the cutest little wimper in our listener limerick challenge.

If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, a panel of some more questions for you from the week's news. Faith, Prince Charles has denied officially that he did anything wrong when, as was revealed this week, he accepted what from the former Prime Minister of Qatar? Oh, probably a suitcase full of money.

Exactly. It was not only suitcases, but also shopping bags filled with money. You know what international relations are like. There's so much protocol, right? So, for example, when a golf plutocrat hands you an actual shopping bag filled with cash, the correct response is to mutter, oh, how kind, just what I wanted. My consort will be thrilled and stuff it into your shorts. These exchanges of cash, which just came to light, happened a number of times between 2011 and 2015.

The prince's spokespeople say that the money was immediately handed over to the prince's personal charity, Cash for Princes. I pictured that spelled with a K and then the number four. Exactly, yes. And a dollar sign. It makes it better. I hate that jingle. A backwards euro.

One nine hundred cash for princes. Does he realize, like, when you bribe the prince, that he doesn't have any real power? You know what I mean? Like, if you're going to bribe somebody, bribe somebody who's really in the government. It's his point.

Like, you bribe Prince Charles, and Prince Charles is like, I really can't help you at all. No, it's probably like, here, Prince Charles, 70-year-old man, I'm going to give you all this money because I want particular favors. And he's like, well, I can't ask my mother. Right. It is a little bit like handing a briefcase full of cash to Ronald McDonald. Just like he's not really in charge.

Just to fit your head. He just wears the funny suit and goes out in public. What's that? Mayor McCheese is running things. Alonzo, summer break is here. We're thinking about vacation soon. We could all be staying in a proposed new hotel that can accommodate 5,000 guests and is located where? It's not a ship.

It's not a ship. Okay. Well, it's not an ocean ship. Oh, it's a spaceship ship. It's not a ship. Okay. Well, it's not a ocean ship. Oh, it's a spaceship? No, not quite. Is Bezos taking us with him? No, it's between the ocean and space. It's in...

In the air? Yes. It is a flying sky hotel. The Sky Cruise Hotel. It's a new concept. They rolled out the video. It's designed to take all of the luxury of a cruise liner and make it airborne. It sounds amazing, really.

Who has not been on a cramped flight to somewhere and thought, boy, I wish I was stuck up here for a week? And it flies around? It just flies around. It flies in the air. It just flies in the air. And it will be piloted by AI, so you don't need pilots to stay up all night. Allen Iverson, shout out to Philly. There you go.

You think I don't know how to pander? I know how to pander. That was a pretty good pander, John. So they got the AI pilots and it is powered, you're wondering how it can stay up there for so long, easy, 20 nuclear onboard reactors. So it's a nuclear sky hotel What could go wrong? What couldn't go wrong? Computers will never malfunction or discover reasons

to kill us all. Because it's good when you think accident-free. You think of driverless vehicles, nuclear reactors 30,000 feet in the air. Josh, accounting firm Ernst & Young is being ordered to pay a $100 million fine after its staff accounting firm Ernst & Young is being ordered to pay a hundred million dollar

fine after its staff cheated on what? Oh my gosh that's such a big fine. It is a big fine. Can I have a hint? Yeah sure the first question was yes or no is it okay to cheat on this test? Was it a test of their integrity? Yes, an ethics exam. An ethics exam? Yes. Wow. They cheated on an ethics exam.

Apparently, the accounting giant used this required ethics exam to screen out ethical people. The exam was really hard. All the questions were just true or true as far as anybody will ever know. I don't know. If I'm hiring an accounting firm and I know they're really good at cheating. I'm going with them. What do I want an honest accountant for? I got that kind of money.

Matter of fact, if a company not only cheated, but cheated so much that they can pay a hundred million dollar fine and keep on going. These are great cheaters. That's true. And this is the story of how Alonzo was audited for 2022. Coming up, it's lightning fill in the blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Or click the Contact Us link on our website, waitwait.npr.org.

And doesn't it sound like we're having fun here? We're done. They're all having fun here? We're done! Yeah, having fun. If you would like to have just as much fun, come see us at our new home in Chicago, the Studebaker Theatre, or August 25th and 26th

at Wolf Trap, just outside of Washington, D.C. Find tickets and more information at nprpresents.org. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, Peter. This is Kenneth Bowman from Livonia, Michigan. Hey, Livonia, Michigan.

Wait a minute. That's like the Detroit area, right? I think I've heard of it. It is, yeah. It's right inside the main interstate that goes around the city. Right, okay. And what do you do there? I am a reliability engineer.

Are you? I hope so. I work for Bosch. You work for Bosch? Yeah. My mother-in-law loves that show. Does she find it reliable, Jeff? She does.

She thinks Bosch is one of the most reliable shows. Okay. Well, Kenneth, welcome to the show. Bill Curtis, of course, is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly into the limericks, you'll be a winner. Ready to go? Ready as ever.

Here is your first limerick. Without overhead bins where the junk spreads, this flight leaves banged knees and some clunked heads. But I'm able to sleep because they've stacked us too deep. And we lie down all night in our bunk beds. Bunk beds, yes, Kenneth, yes. Bunk beds are no longer just for siblings in the brief period before they start loathing each other. Economy passengers on Air New Zealand will soon be able to book sleeping sessions in these stacked sleeping pods on the plane.

The sessions that you can buy will only last four hours, so everybody in the plane has a chance to use them. So instead of jolting yourself awake in a puddle of your own drool, you'll do it in someone else's. So right after a pandemic, we're going to share sleeping quarters on an airplane. What could go wrong? Here is your next limerick. The rings beneath my eyes are real deep. Because of the secrets I keep, it's taxing my brain to keep things contained.

That's why I will need some more... Sleep. Sleep, yes. According to a behavioral scientist, That's why I will need some more sleep. Sleep, yes. According to a behavioral scientist, keeping secrets can make you sleepy. The idea is that keeping a secret can feel isolating and stressful, which leads to fatigue. So, if you're having trouble sleeping, have an affair. It's great news and involves two popular hobbies, knowing gossip and being unconscious. I like the idea of lying in bed, counting the secrets, you know, to make yourself sleepy.

You're like, my brother's cheating on his wife. I've been embezzling at work. I work for Ernst & Young. Here is your last limit. We both hit it off really well. Because our chemistry is making us gel. Our olfactory glands hold proverbial hands. We are friends because we have the same...

Smell. Smell, yes, Kenneth, exactly right. According to a new study, people who smell alike are more likely to be friends. And that is doubly true if they smell like weed. Great news is, this is great news for anybody who's having trouble making friends. Just go to a bar, walk up and down, start sniffing armpits, and when you get to one you like, say, You smell like home.

I'm just imagining millions of women thinking, Oh, great, here's another level of creepy. Now he wants to smell me. Bill, how did Kenneth do on our quiz? Well, we know that Kenneth smells like a new German car. But he got them all right. He was a winner. Congratulations, Kenneth.

That was excellent quality control. Thanks so much for playing. Have a good one. You take care. Now on to our final game, Lightning fill-in-the-blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer is now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

Faith has two. Alonzo has two. Josh has three. All right. Good job. All right, so Faith and Alonzo are tied. I'm going to pick Alonzo arbitrarily to go first. The clock will start when they begin their first question.

Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, Finland and Sweden were formally invited to join blank. NATO. Right. On Thursday, the Supreme Court ruled that the EPA could not set blank standards for power plants. Emissions. Yeah, climate standards. This week, Ukraine and blank announced a prisoner exchange.

Russia? Right. On Tuesday, a panel of experts urged the FDA to push for a new vaccine targeting the blank COVID variant. Omicron? Yes. This week, Toyota had to recall their new electric vehicle because blank. Battery was dead? No, because the wheels kept falling off.

On Wednesday, a judge in Chicago sentenced disgraced R&B star blank to 30 years in prison. R. Kelly. Right. On Monday, a court in Russia set a trial date of July 1st for WNBA star blank. Brittany Griner.

Right. This week, a building contractor in Idaho finished removing a roof from a house before realizing blank. That a tornado would do it for him. No, that he had gotten the address wrong and it was the wrong house. No one was home when this contractor arrived and had his crew completely remove the roof. The contractor says to the aggrieved family that their insurance will have to pay to replace it,

but this is true, the insurance company says they won't pay because they cover damage to roofs and these people don't have a roof. Bill, how did Alonzo do on our quiz? He had six right for 12 more points. He now has 14. That gives him the lead. All right. Faith, here we go. Fill in the blank.

On Thursday, the Supreme Court concluded their current term by swearing in the newest justice, blank. Ketanji Jackson. Yes. On Thursday, Israel voted to dissolve their blank. Parliament. Right. This week, Jeffrey Epstein, associate, blank, was sentenced to 20 years on charges of trafficking. Ghislaine Maxwell.

Right. On Thursday, Buckingham Palace said they'd completed an investigation into bullying claims against blank. Meghan Markle. Right. This week, it was revealed that the Indian government had censored Internet posts that were critical of the government blanking. Twerking. No. Critical of the government censoring the Internet.

On Tuesday, the CDC expanded its call for a vaccine against blankpox. Monkeypox. Right. This week, a civil servant in Japan woke up after a night of drinking and realized he had lost blank. All of his teeth. No. He woke up realizing he had lost a USB drive containing the bank account numbers of every single person in the city. Half a million of them. The government employee was responsible for dispersing COVID every single person in the city. Half a million of them.

The government employee was responsible for dispersing COVID funds to everyone in the city, so he had all of their information in this USB drive, or he did. Until he got so drunk, he passed out and was pickpocketed. Fortunately, the data is safe because the thieves are still trying to figure out which way to insert the USB drive. Up, down. Bill, how did Faith do on our quiz? She got five right, ten more points.

She now has 12, but Alonzo still has the lead with 14. How many, then, would Josh need to win? He would need six to win. All right, Josh, ready? I am. This is for the game. Okay. All right, Josh, ready? I am. This is for the game. Okay. On Wednesday, pharmacies around the country announced they were temporarily capping purchases of the blank pill.

Plan B. Right. According to financial reports, the blank is on track to have its worst year since 1970. Stock market? Yes. This week, the U.S. said it would permanently station troops in Poland to help combat blank's continued aggression. Russia?

Right. On Tuesday, the leader of Blank called for a new independence vote. Scotland? Yes! This week, the Colorado Avalanche set a new world record after they won the Stanley Cup and Blanked. And Blanked. And delivered the cup to the wrong address.

No, after they accidentally dented it faster than any other team had. Thursday, the American Heart Association released a report saying the proper blank is essential for heart health. Diet? Proper sleep. On Tuesday, tennis legend blank was knocked out of the first round at Wimbledon. Serena Williams?

Yes. Citing the huge drop in valuation, a blank in California announced it would no longer accept cryptocurrency as payment. A cryptocurrency company? So close. I'll give it to payment. A cryptocurrency company? So close. I'll give it to you. A cryptocurrency-themed restaurant. The restaurant Bored and Hungry opened in California just two months ago,

but already they're saying they can no longer accept payments in crypto. However, you can still pay cash for the NFT meal, which for $250,000 gets you a receipt for a burger you can never actually eat. Bill, did Josh do well enough to win? He needed six and he got six! He is the winner! Thank you. An honor.

And a prize. A dominant performance. In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists to predict what will be the next surprising reason there's ketchup on a wall. But first, Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions, Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord. Phil Bogotica writes our limericks. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman.

Our tour manager is Shana Donald. BJ Lederman composed our theme. Our program was produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornbos, Lillian King, and Nancy Seychout. Our production assistant is Sophie Hernandez. Special thanks to Blythe Robertson. Our camp counselor is Peter Gwynn. Technical direction is from Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse.

Our senior producer is Ian Chilog. And the executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Michael Danforth. Now panel, why will there be ketchup on the wall next time? Josh Gondelman. Mayor McCheese flies into a rage after hearing Grimace has been democratically elected the new leader of McDonald Lambs. Faith Saley.

After winning the 4th of July hot dog eating contest for the past six years, Joey Chestnut experiences a career-ending wall-splattering burp. And Alonzo Bowden. When I order my McNuggets with barbecue sauce, I don't want this damn ketchup. And you're not going to get any. But if you do, we'll ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

Thank you, Bill Curtis. Thanks also to Josh Bellman, Faith Saley, Alonzo Bowden. Thanks to everyone at WHYY. To the staff and crew at the TD Pavilion at the Mann Center. And to our fabulous audience here. Thanks for coming out, everybody. And thanks to all of you for listening at home. I am Peter Sagal.

And we'll see you next week. Thank you. This is NPR.